#im glad luther gets to be a bit happy

[hellomagicalsouls]

luther is a stripper. he's come along way from the moon. go on lulu shake that thing.

[justherefortua]

finished the young blood book! Though it’s definitely YA rather than as mature, it gave me a lot of nostalgia for the post-S1 fics where people thought they were goin gto be ported to childhood, and I thought the little details and the way the characters were characterized was actually really good! I loved how many parallels there were to canon and the further elaboration on the day to day life of the Umbrella Academy (and Viktor)

I wouldn’t take the book as a 100% canon source, but here are some disconnected small details that I enjoyed: SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

- Twice trying to wrangle the hargreeves is referred to as “herding cats”, which is very accurate

- Grace custom sews their outfits and adjusts them for each member 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Luther gets a new one every time he grows, Diego has secret compartments for his knives, Ben has tentacle openings, Viktor’s looks a little too big on him

- I could definitely see how this Luther turns into S1 Luther but also he’s such a good guy. He just wants to help people and receive hugs

- Diego;;; my goodness. He loves his mom and also very much has a black and white view of justice. This is when he figures out he likes all black utility gear rather than the uniform

- Allison )::: allison )::: It’s so weird to see her feel out of place among other girls considering she grows up to be a famous actress but I think it was a good moment, as well as foreshadowing for her whole issues with the rumors

- Klaus is so vibrant here. He learned how to hotwire a car (They call Hargreeves’ car Hermes) at 12 from a ghost, regularly sneaks out of the house through the sewage system (the siblings refuse to do this) and is the life of the party

- Five was mentioned and acknowledged a couple times and every time it made me go ): The revelation that Ben had a daily check-in with Klaus asking about whether he could see Five or not and always believed Five was out there somewhere destroyed me. My crumbs ): oh ):

- Ben is my favorite character so I’m so glad he gets a POV here and an actual voice! He definitely has a good heart but also definitely doesn’t fall into the solely “shy and totally passive” stereotype <3 also im just happy for content of umbrella ben i miss him

- Viktor!!! He isn’t sure if Mom claps for his violin because of if he’s actually good or. He’s very lonely but the kids do include him a little bit which is lovely. Definitely some parallels to S1 canon. Also! Some Viktor trans moments where he ruminates on that for a little bit without knowing the actual cause, the mirror line has relevance here. I thought it was handled nicely but obviously I can’t speak on experiences that aren’t my own.

Other misc details:

- Ben gets calmer under high pressure situations and therefore becomes pretty good at pool despite never having played

- Klaus likes to jump from roofs for the fun of it and just thinks his body is extremely resilient to head trauma. Klaus. Klaus no. 😭

- Diego uses “Boy Scout” as a insult for Luther, who doesn’t mind because Boy Scouts are supposed to be dependable

- Diego has always been pretty good at dancing

- The Umbrella Academy never stick around to clean up after themselves on missions

- Ben and Viktor can fit together in the passenger seat

- Favorite meals: Ben likes PB+J and potato chips, Klaus likes bubblegum ice cream, Diego likes roast beef, Luther hamburger and fries, and a hot dog for Allison (though according to her it hasn’t been her fav food in years, and also she forgot Five’s favorite and Viktor’s favorite)

- Klaus listens to heavy metal (to drown out the ghosts), Allison likes pop music

- Viktor learned how to drive one year before this book, taught by Pogo. He has his license! Klaus knows how to drive too but he drives much more recklessly lol

- Allison once had a solo magazine cover and she can’t remember whether she rumored for it or not (foreshadowing)

- Ben has never told anyone that the tentacles hurt when they come out ())):) [BODY HORROR TW] They are also literally slithering under his ski, he can feel em with his organs, and the skin is tender where they come out

- Allison knows CPR. and uses it after one of the siblings has a near death experience 👍

[bardicious]

Umbrella Academy Season 4 Spoilers below

First of all, I loved it, second, I'm pissed off this series stops at season 4 and was shortened, while fucking Witcher gets two more shitty seasons. Third... I really don't know how to feel about that ending. 😭 Like, sure, the universe is saved, but why do they have to not exist??? Makes me sad. :(

Stuff I loved:

All the music choices, the pacing was great despite the shortened episodes, though I was begging for more in my head. 😭

Lila having three children! And Clair growing up.

Im glad lots of things from season 3, stayed at season 3. I liked Allison again this season, and honestly, she felt much more like herself this season.

Lila/Five ALL THE WAY. OMG. Like, I just causally shipped them as best friends, and did NOT know they were gonna go this direction but it was SO right for them. They just make sense together. They're equals, have similar traumas, and training, they love deeply, and they're SO gentle with each other. Diego... well honestly he's kinda a bit of an annoying asshole. (Still love him, but eh) I'm just SO freaking happy with the Lila/Five relationship. 😭 Also Im hoping Lila did really love Five, and it wasn't survival like she said (probably just a deflection to cope with going back). God, they deserve each other. 🥺😩😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Viktor was badass, also Allison!! Luther, Klaus, and Diego were less badass. Lila's existence is badass but she took more of a soft role this time and I love that for her.

That ending really makes me sad. :/ I choose to believe they were born anyway, and end up together as a family someway somehow.

While the ending made me sad, honestly, all things considered it made some sense. I like how they put all the timeline shenanigans together and tried to work it out, getting rid of the marigolds was probably the only thing that made sense. I can't help but think if they hadn't consumed the marigold's then wouldn't they be allowed to live? And since in that last timeline they didn't have the powers anyway and weren't born the same way (presumably?) then they could have been born normally in the fresh timeline, and what I wonder does that mean for Reginald, his wife, and their world?

So many special effects this season, Ben looked icky, I loved how the Jennifer incident is ultimately the catalyst for the end of the world. I don't know if they planned it from the beginning, but it works well.

Did I mention I love Lila and Five? Cause I do. I love them so much. Diego who? Homie should have went back to his cop girlfriend.

[its-all-honey]

The Umbrella Academy Season 3 ☂️

i last week finished watching the third season woo !! i used to be so obsessed with tua after watching season 1 that i even ended up getting all the volumes of the comics 😅 after watching season 3 i also reread all the comics back to back in like one sitting lol (spoilers for both the show and the comics coming up 🫣)

im gonna try my best to not make this sound super confusing when i talk about both season 3 of the show and volume 3 of the comics lol ------------------------------- the comic ---------------------------------so i went into season 3 having not previously read the 3rd volume of the comics meaning i had no idea what would happen, though i did know that the idea of hotel obsidian/oblivion was based off the comics BUT!! i found that the 3rd season of the show practically had nothing to do with the comics other than the title 😭 the plots of the show and comics across all seasons and volumes are both very different and season 3 was the most unlike its corresponding comic. one of the main differences being that the sparrow academy are only introduced at the end of volume 3 of the comics so i honestly dont know where the whole storyline for the 3rd season of the show came from i personally found the plot of the 3rd volume of the comic quite confusing and hard to follow as the perspectives and locations kept changing a lot so im actually rather glad that they chose not to portray the events of this comic in the show. that being said, i did like how each of umbrella siblings had their own storylines/adventures that they were on. probably my favourite storyline in the comics is vanya's ongoing recovery from volume one of the comics and also the pairing of five and allison which happens throughout the comics. i also like that luther and diego's rivalry is present across the comics. ------------------------------- the show --------------------------------- in the show, i find the characters to be much more likeable and more full of personality compared to the comics so season 3 did not disappoint in that respect. it was cool to see aspects of the comics continue to be translated into the show for example allison's reluctance to use her powers is a big thing in both medias AND IM SO GLAD THAT KLAUS FINALLY GOT TO USE THE FULL POTENTIAL OF HIS POWERS IN THE SHOW 😭😭😭 all the other character progression among the umbrella siblings is great as well!!! (we love senior citizen five) i liked the sparrows though some of them did not get much screen time and a few of their powers were a bit lame in my opinion 💀 (marcus and alphonso i am looking at you, sorry not sorry) i love love LOVE fei tho she is sooooo coool and christopher being just a random floating cube is so silly to me plus if you think about it, um some woman gave birth to that?!?!?!?! seeing sparrow ben just get subtly accepted by the umbrella siblings was so sweet like they were lowkey all just so happy to see ben again even if he's different. OH AND SPEAKING OF ACCEPTING!!!!! VIKTOR HARGREEVES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 madddd props to the producers/writers of the show for giving elliot page a trans character and doing it in such a good way ❤️❤️❤️❤️ im so obsessed with all the different sibling reactions to viktor (also vanya in the comics has short hair sooooooo) ok so a few things i didnt like so much was first of all, luther and sloane romance felt really forced to me and a bittttt weird but ive seen people say that luther was in his himbo era during season 3 so honestly i'll let it slide. secondly there's lila who i disliked in season 2 but then she shows up with stan and i loved stan he was so silly!!!! BUT THEN lila is suddenly actually pregnant😭???? idk man, it gotta hella crazy. um thirdly (this is gonna be a really hot take but hear me out), i know its the whole point of the show and its a reoccurring thing that happens but all this end of the world/apocalypse business is kindaaa boring now 🧍 i guess it does happen differently in each season so its not completely repetitive everytime and i must say that this time was actually my favourite end of the world lol hopefully, the finally season will resolve everything nicely but only time will tell i suppose 👁️👁️. im actually gonna shut up now though because this is getting so long and while i could go on and on about tua im gonna have to stop 😭

[gizkasparadise]

watch update!

about halfway through the umbrella academy s3:

man they just. dont know what to do with allison, do they? 

luther is really enjoyable on his own or when he’s interacting with his siblings, but luther/sloane is like watching paint dry and i have 0 idea what she sees in him lol

no. 5/aidan gallagher continues to be awesome/perfectly cast. even as he’s getting older, i still just see a burned out retiree in an angry child’s body

this fucking cube is killing me (appreciative)

the sparrows are fun! their tote bags of swag was incredible

klaus being amish is the most onbrand thing and i love it (and him)

glad viktor finally gets an arc that isnt ENTIRELY seeped in angst

the accents they have people from dallas do....continue to be a mystifying choice to me

LEOBEN CONOY?!!!!!!!!!!!

even when i dont agree with the writing choices, this show is always 100% fun to watch and i love that

in drama news:

i tried out alchemy of souls and it was too dense for my brain at the moment. i always have that problem with fantasy/sci-fi stuff where i have to calibrate for the world-building so i think im gonna put this one on pause and see what happens. hong sisters are so incredibly hit or miss for me (ex: loved girlfriend is a gumiho + hotel del luna, HATED master’s sun), so i’ll just tumblr!watch for now

i want to finish bloody heart but lmao knowing it has a happy ending killed my enthusiasm a little. i’ll get back to it eventually!

tried money heist: korea, but the first like 3 minutes with that random BTS/ARMY stuff was so...asinine? that i immediately backbuttoned lmao. i’ll give it a try again later because park hae soo and kim ji hoon are 💯

i’ve stalled out a bit on shining for one thing despite really enjoying the first few eps because the female lead is way too dense for a late 20 year old (ex: parents having an “affair,” everything maizi, etc.) and the sound effects are starting to get grating. i know there’s a pivot some point in the series where it goes from fluffy to angst/tragedy and so i’ll muscle through to that point in the hopes that things turn around. it makes me really appreciate how someday or one day wrote alice ke’s characters, because the 29 year old felt like she was 29 even when she was time-travelling back to high school/interacting with high schoolers

[artaelyn]

it's been so long since i watched umbrella academy but ya know that one scene where 5 just like kills everyone in the commission while that upbeat song plays??? anyways i love that scene, it was so much fun to watch!! any scenes you that you wanna talk about?? (o ^▽^)o☆

HHSJSHSKSNSKSNSM that scene was funny ngl. I love all the scenes with upbeat music that does not match what is happening. And yes!! Aaaaah my favorite scene through all the show is when Luther, Vanya, Allison, Diego, and Klaus are all dancing in their own ways. Like, it’s so nice seeing how unique each of them is!! It makes it feel so much more real or something. And I love how Diego goes through the trouble of making sure no one walks in on him ( honestly I’d have to do the same lol)

OHH there’s so much I wanna talk about!! Mmm. I love Diego's relationship with their mom. It’s just great, it makes me so happy they have a special bond!! Oh oh oh and that part where Diego offers to give some of his blood to Allison and acts all tough about it but then passes out immediately when he sees the needle. That is the moment I decided he’s my favorite lol

I’m scattered everywhere but!! Agnes and Hazel!! They deserve all the happiness ever!! (And I’m glad they got to spend a good amount of time together). I’m also glad Hazel and Cha-Cha stopped wearing those creepy bear and bunny mask things. GAHHH THERES SO MUCH I WANNA SAY!! Uhm! When they go into the past!! Allison's husband! I forget his name but I’m SO happy they found each other!!!

OH OH! Dave!!! Dave and Klaus!! MADE ME CRY!!! I’m very upset about what happened to Dave. He was so great! I wish he and Klaus got to spend more time together. SPEAKING OF KLAUS! he and Diego also have a fun dynamic! I love them hehe

Delores. She unsettles me. I don’t like that whole thing with Five and Delores, but I feel like it was kinda a Calvin and Hobbes thing where only the one person sees the inanimate object as a living being which makes it.. slightly less weird? I think? I don’t know why that was a Segway for my brain to start talking about the weird lady with issues. The one with the white hair that kinda looks like someone from Wonderland or 101 Dalmatians or something. I do not like her. She swallowed a fish. Also has no boundaries when it comes to privacy in the bathroom. Don’t get me STARTED on her job-

KLAUUUSSSSSS Klaus the beloved!! :( he just makes me sad. I love him. So does my mom. I just want him to be happy. I want him to have Dave back in his life. :((( but also he’s very funny and reminds me a bit of one of my irls now that I think about it!

Vanya. Hmm, well, I like her! Don’t get me wrong! But… hm. Also they changed the credits for Elliot Page! :D which I think is awesome! Allison is my favorite sister, sorry Vanya sjshsmsnsksh

Lutherrrrr! He makes me sad sometimes. He is just a sad guy. He deserved way better from their dad. Like honestly. He went to the moon for him and FOR WHAT? nothing! That’s what!! A distraction at most! A purpose or something!

Is this getting long? I can’t tell. ANYWAYS!

Ben!! Ben the beloved!! Ben my little ace man! Little baby man! Honestly, I just wanna hug him & hold him. I’m appointing myself role of human mom for these guys. Idc if they’re adults and I’m a teenager IM THEIR SECOND MOM NOW! BEN!! The flashback when he goes into that room saying “I didn’t sign up for this..” and comes out drenched in blood and just says “can we go home now?” HUG!! I HUG HIM!! Oh my gods he’s just adorable. Also funny! When Klaus was gambling or betting I don’t remember and he “calls upon the spirits” or something and Ben appears for a moment before saying something like “nah, I’m good” and disappearing again.

Allison's so pretty. And tragic. THESE KIDS CAN NEVER CATCH A BREAK, CAN THEY!! I love her. She deserves better.

Mmm this is getting long but real quick before I stop writing, Five's smile. That unsettling one, y’know? Like, his innocent kid smile but really he’s old and sarcastic and it’s just hilarious. His comments and stuff- he’s really witty and funny. “That’s one badass stapler!” Is one of my favorite lines

AAAA I NEED TO STOP TYPING BUT POGO!! I love him as well!! Ok I should seriously stop now.

MMM thank you so much for the ask!! :D

CRAP I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE MUSIC!! THE MUSIC IS AMAZING LIKE ACTUALLY!! Ok ok I’m done now byeeee

[horriblymisguided]

So many thoughts about this season that idk where to begin. It was underwhelming overrall imo.

PROS:

- Luther and Diego, whoa they came a long way! Their comedic timing was perfect. I loved how they had to go hurdles and had to rediscover themselves even during the most difficult times. Their characters were more fleshed out.

- Five accepting that he has no idea what hes doing but has back plans after one another while completey losing his shit was really good. Aidan was outstanding showing five losing his composure while some of his siblings continued to remain selfish. His comedic timing and delivery of lines was brilliant. Still cackling over the "ambitious stripper" line

-Allison broke my fricken heart but Im glad they showed her in a relationship and how happy she was with Ray.

-Diego hugging Ben!!! So sweet!

-Sissy was good and I just loved her ovarall along with Harlan.

-Vanya also ending up in a relationship was so sweet and heartbreaking at the same time- dragged on at times though. Her saving Harlan was pretty cool.

-Luther throwing in the fight was sad and understandable. Seeing Five shocked was nice change.

-Reggie is still that bitch and a mf alien.

-Klaus and Ben in the intro was a scene stealer.

-Vanya and Five butting heads was super cool while we saw them preparing to use their powers against each other.

-Diego can stop bullets??? Like I expected the dodging power but like stopping it??

-Luther and Five/older Five were scene stealers. Luther looking confused 90% time but still willing to help his genius brother was awesome.

CONS

-I was expecting so much from Klaus this season but they continued to use him as a running joke longing after Dave. I thought there would be growth with his power and that he would have his moment like the others did but nah. I thought he would be the one to get closure with Ben but it was weird that it ended up being Vanya. His selfish tendencies and just kinda being useless again made me upset. And he did NOTHING IN THE FINAL BATTLE. he just stopped himself from faceplanting in the dirt.

-Ben being by Klaus side for 17 years has made him bitter and honestly a bit of a jerk which is basically the Hargreeves motto but yeah he's not the sweet soft Casper ghost that I have seen people tlak about on here. He got his big moment and the end and obviously he'll play a bigger role next season.

-WHEN KNOW ONE STOOD UP FOR DIEGO WHEN REGGIE INSULTED HIM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.THIS FAMILY IS TRULY EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED AND SELFISH

- Lilia was okay didn't feel really drawn to her story. LOL that she owned them in the last fight like what.

-WAY TOO MANY HANDLER SCENES AND HER CREEPY OBSESSION WITH FIVE WAS STILL OFF PUTTING.

- Vanya losing control of her powers once again being repeated the like first season. It was annoying. Been there done that. IF SOMEONE WAS GOING TO LOSE CONTROL OF THEIR POWERS I WAS HOPING IT WOULD BE KLAUS.

-Felt the Vanya/Sissy scenes drag on a bit that I was losing interest.

- Lilia kidnapping Diego. WTF

- The Swedes needed more lines. They were weird overrall.

-THIS SHOW MISSED THE HAZEL AND CHA CHA. THEY BOUGHT A DIFFERENT DYMANIC THAT THE SHOW LACKED.

OVERALL IT HAD GOOD PARTS BUT SOME SCENES AND CHARACTERS DIDN'T GROW WHICH PUT A DAMPER ON THE WHOLE SEASON.

[xmemeanonx]

Tough love

The second part of my yandere Luther Hargreeves fic which was based from @yanderepeterparker s (❤️) headcanons for said character.

The story will be told from your POV and Luther's POV.

Tw. emotional abuse, kidnaping, past talk of physical abuse, disabilities, past noncon talk, Luther's basically no help

Darker than the last one DO NOT READ IF THE WARNINGS OFFEND YOU

Enjoy! :)

= = =

The squeaking of the wheelchair on the hardwood floor became a normal sound to the both of you. Though it made each of you feel very different emotions.

To him its a symbol of his love towards you, a mark of every generous thing he has done for you. The vague reminder of the noise puts a smile on his face.

To you, a constant reminder of the type of monster he truly is. He calls it love, you call it bullshit. This isn't love. Love is selfless and understanding, his love is selfish and one sided.

But he doesn't see it that way. Never did, never will. Stubborn bastard.

= = =

“What would you like for breakfast, dear?” He chirps. He’s facing the counter but you can tell he's smiling.

You cringe on the inside. “Can I make my own breakfast, Luther?” you say quietly, picking at wood on the table.

He turns to you silently, frowning. “It's not Luther, dear.”

He tries so hard to be a normal “couple.” From pet names to breakfast in bed, he tries everything that normal couples would do. But it all feels so empty, so forced. Even his love for you feels fake. Sometimes you wonder if he even truly loves you, or if it's just something to take his mind off of how much he hates himself. You want to confront him on it someday, but for now it's easier to just play along.

“(Y/N)? dear?” he says expectantly. You look up at him.

“Sorry. . . . . honey. I was just thinking”

His smiles, eyes softening. “Its okay, dear. What were you thinking of?” he says expectantly

Your stomach turns, “oh. . .” you gulp, look up at his smiling face, fake smile on yours. You sit up in your wheelchair.

“I-I was just thinking about how. . . . happy I am with you.” The words felt disgusting on your tongue. Heavy and tough to say.

“Oh, that's great dear.” He grabs your hand, holding it gently. “Im happy with you too.”

Its silent. You clear your throat, turning away. He takes the sign.

“So uh. . . breakfast?” he asks.

You nod.

“. . . . eggs?”

You nod again.

= = =

“Honey?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Can. . . . can I go outside? Please?”

He stops pushing you, next to a window. He looks out to the backyard. “Sure, we can go outside. It looks like a nice day out, kinda grey though.”

You sit up, turning to look at him. “No. . . Can I just go out by myself. . . . honey?”

Brows furrowed, he frowns, “no, dear.”

“Why not?!”

He scowls down at you. You forgot how quickly his moods changed, almost like he was waiting for you to “mess up.”

“Because I said so.” You almost scoff at this. Did he really think you actually cared about him, or hell, even his opinions? Fucking idiot.

You put your head down, sighing.

You felt your emotions build up, yet you swallowed them down. You know they will come out as bullets one day. Wanting to pierce his skin, directly into his heart. Hopefully killing him, lord knows he deserves it, especially after everything he did to you, but that’s just wishful thinking.

“(Y/N)” he growls, gripping your shoulder. “Talk to me.”

You shake your head.

He grips you harder, “(Y/N). . . . .”

You put your head down lower, tearing up. Picking at the skin around your nails, you get the same feeling you got when he crippled you. He’s going to do something bad to you very soon, you felt it, but really. . . . . what did you really have to lose?

Your life? His lost.

“(Y/N), say something!” You sob. That shuts him up. Good, he talks too much. Now it’s you turn to speak.

You turn, eyes leaking hot tears, smiling dryly at him. “Why?”

“Wha-“

“Why do you want me to talk, Luther?” It's becoming too much for you to handle

He squints, “(Y/N) I’m not playing your games.”

Way too much.

“Is it because you can’t handle the silence? Because you know that, then you’ll be alone with your thoughts? Maybe then you’d actually think about what your doing, instead of keeping, crippling, assaulting and abusing someone who barely even knows you.”

He punches the wall beside the both of you. You suck in a breath, looking between it and him. Ohhhhhh shit, you messed up.

This happens quite often actually, surprising or not. You mess up and he get pissed. He's going to get angry now and you're going to pay the price of his “mistakes.”

Mistakes. That's what he calls them. As if your legs were a mistake. He says they'll heal but you don't really care, he would just do it again if you tried to run. And you will try again.

But that's how it normally goes, you “misbehave,” he loses his shit, he takes it out on you, then cries and begs for forgiveness. You give him what he wants, fearing for your life, but recently you're getting really desperate.

“. . . . . I'm sorry. “ you say quietly. He can tell your lying.

“Were going to bed.”

You may have no respect for him but at least you`re not stupid.

“Okay, honey.”

= = =

After helping you get ready for bed, with surprisingly very few words exchanged, Luther's body ached for a shower. He felt tiredness like he never felt it before when he had to deal with your childness. If he told his younger self that this was what love was like, he would have never even bothered. But he's changed so much hasn't he?

He'd never enjoyed showers, even as a child to now, with his grotesque body. He remembers his mother telling him that they were good for him, especially after training. She said it was a great way to get clean and to calm down.

He still thinks about her now, Pogo too. But what had to be done to keep you safe was done. Every risk, chance, or possibility of you being taken away from him, he'd take care of. Even if it means removing his own family from the equation or taking away your dignity.

Yes, it hurts him to see you cry, but what are his other options? He's never been good with words.

= = =

Lying on his bed, waiting for him, had to be the longest 20 minutes of your life. Picking the skin around your nails, silently listening to the shower water falling on a human body would normally be a calming thing for you, but nothing about this is calming is it?

You knew what was going to happen but that didn't help the feeling of dread coursing through you.

You weren't a virgin when he first did those things to you, but it didn't make it any less painful. You pissed him off real bad, but you didn’t run or try to fight, you just yelled, you spoke out, and that was enough for him to force himself on you.

You remember lying there, wishing you were dead. You told him to stop, you told him no, screamed it even. But he didn’t care, in fact, he made it even more painful. All for his amusement, his pleasure.

It was when he just left after he finished, not caring for your comfort, you realised how much of a monster he truly was.

Now your scared he’s going to do it again.

= = =

“You do this to yourself, you know?”

“. . . . . “

“I’m only doing this because I love you.”

“. . . . . “

“I love you so much.”

“. . . . . “

“(Y/N)?”

“. . . . . “

“Please”

“. . . . . .”

“Please (Y/N), please just say it back.”

“. . . . . “

“I know you wouldn’t mean it bu-“

Oh, so he does know. Even with him spooning you now, he knows just how much you hate him. Honestly you’re surprised. Considering how much he plays into his little fake domestic life with you, he knows just how much you hate him. You can’t tell if you feel bad or if it makes you hate him even more. But for once, why not play a bit too?

“I love you too, honey.” You say, petting his hand in fake comfort. It’s hard to say, but in a way, you hope it would comfort the pitiful, love-hungry beast behind you.

“O-oh. . . That’s. . . . n-nice to hear.”

“I’m glad, honey.” You feel his tears on the back of your shirt, they make your shirt damp and uncomfortable.

It’s silent. A comfortable silence surprisingly. But then he asks you a question that surprises you. Something you’ve thought about for so long, yet sounds so awful coming from the person it’s directed at.

“(Y/N), do you hate me?”

Yes. oh my god, YES! Oh how much you wanted to tell him that! Yet, you chose not to, especially after what he did to you legs. Broken, yes. But they will heal. At least that’s what he says. But you don’t really trust him do you?

You wanted to tell him the truth, for your sake, not his, never his. Although you try and think of you options and their possible outcomes.

If you say no, you continue to lie. Possibly fueling the already smoldering fire inside of him, feeding his ego yet, at the same time, his insincerities.

Yes on the other hand could burn the whole forest down. It would either burn you or him to death. And honestly, at this point you can’t decide which is the better possibility. You, finally being brought the sweet relief of death, or him, being left to care for a person who he knows hates him while he constantly yearns for their, although fake, love. It almost seems like the better choice is the one where both of you get burnt.

You know which one is the better answer, you even say it what a smirk on your lips.

“Yes. Yes I do Luther.” Your words pierced him right into his heart.

Closing your eyes, listening to his soft sobs behind you, you felt something you haven’t felt in a long time. . . . .

Satisfied.

Because now, he knows the meaning of tough love.

= = =

Hoooooo! That got intense! I’m so sorry if this offended anyone, but I did put a warning at the top. Also Happy New Years, y’all! Hope y’all have a great 2020! Love you! I have a lot more ideas for Luther and the umbrella academy so I might write more. But please request more in general, requests are always open for the umbrella academy!

[localteaaddict]

Death and the Maiden (Part 2)

Part 1: (Link)

Pairing: RK900 (Nines) x Female!Reader (MobBoss!Nines/Florist!Reader Human AU)

Warnings: Mentions of drug and glamorization of crimes/gang violence in general. I also have no idea how actual mobs operate.

A/N: So...this is the continuation of the MobBoss!Nines/Florist!Reader Human AU which, btw, thank you so much for all the reblogs and likes! Special thanks to @acciork800, @cyberlifeleds and @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 for the kind comments they’d left on the previous chapter. I didn’t know so many people would like this, but boy am I glad I wrote it. I’ve also found a title for this ‘verse, taken from my favourite composition by Schubert.

As always, dedicated to the marvelous @bears-shitty-art for the encouragements and ideas she’s given me.

-

Nines hadn’t had to see through an execution in a long time. He’d never really liked or enjoyed it and he certainly hoped he wouldn’t have to witness the aftermath of one today. He was wearing a new pair of shoes this afternoon; blood on the leather was awfully difficult to get out.

He realized that luck wasn’t on his side when he saw Connor already waiting for him. Standing by the door and dressed just as sharply but with a button or two loose at his collar, Connor looked every bit the more easy-going, carefree counterpart of his twin. As Nines approached, Connor’s face lit up in a boyish smile.

“Brother,” said Connor as he gave Nines a theatrical hug, “I’m glad you could make it.”

“You did see me just yesterday,” Nines couldn’t help but smile a little at Connor’s old antics. The smile disappeared quickly, however, once he sobered in the anticipation of what was behind the closed door. “Did he talk?”

Connor sighed. “Yes.”

“Do you think he was telling the truth?”

“With these turncoats? Who knows,” Connor rolled his eyes. “Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. Either way, he did admit to stealing from the regular shipments and pocketing the money. For himself, he claims.”

“So we’re still missing some red ice for the next delivery......” Nines furrowed his brows. “Markus won’t be too happy once he finds out.”

“We’ll make do; talk to him and the others, use some of your sweet charm on them. They like us,” Connor shrugged. “I’m sure they’ll excuse it for once. It’s not like we haven’t done the same for them before.”

That was true, but Nines had a bigger problem to worry about. Markus and the other leaders of Jericho were relatively easy to appease; the brothers’ mentor, not so much.

He looked straight ahead, cold grey-blue eyes not betraying a hint of emotion. Adjusting the collar of the trench coat, he nodded minutely at the security guarding the heavy door.

It opened. Nines walked in, followed by Connor close behind.

-

You sighed, tapping your aching shoulders lightly with a fist as you straightened your back. Moving fresh pots of succulents and cacti was not an easy feat, especially since there were few dozens of them; quite heavy, too.

Kara smiled apologetically from across the shop. “Thank you so much for all your hard work, (Y/N). I wouldn’t have been able to close on time without your help. I’m sorry the delivery came in late......”

“It’s okay, Kara, really,” you chuckled, waving your hand. “It’s not your fault the guy came in late. We’re just lucky the plants are still fresh.”

“Right,” Kara’s smile was still apologetic; she quickly tilted her head towards the window. The sun had fallen and there was only thirty more minutes to go until the finishing time. The day had been slow today and the trickle of customer had pretty much stopped another half an hour ago. It’d been quiet, hence you were able to move all these pots of plant into the shop from the back.

“When we’re done, why don’t you drop by the cafe? I’m sure Luther and Alice would love to see you.” Kara suggested, and you beamed.

“Really?”

“Yes, definitely,” Kara smiled. “I could ask Luther to make you your favorite drink. In fact, why don’t I call him to save a piece of that cake you like too?”

All that strenuous labor suddenly felt totally worth it. While Kara ran this flower shop, Luther ran a small cafe right across the street; it was the most cozy little coffee place you’d ever seen, and although it wasn’t Instagram-famous, all the good coffee and dessert connoisseurs knew about it. You’d found out about the cafe purely by the virtue of being Kara’s family friend, but you had never been more grateful for the friendship than when you’d first tasted Luther’s chocolate terrine. It was to die for.

As Kara pulled out her cellphone and started to make the call, and you were about to move the last of the succulents with a newfound vigor, the doorbell rang.

You nearly dropped the pot in surprise, not just by the sound but by the person who’d just walked in. You recognized him immediately. The Mysterious Hottie with a Great As―uh, the customer from that early morning.

Kara seemed taken aback by the last-minute customer too. She looked like she was about to just terminate the call, but then you could hear Luther’s faint “Hello?” across the space, so you just waved a hand at her in a silent go on, I’ll take care of this. Kara covered the phone, quickly mouthing a ‘thank you’ before returning to the call.

You put down the pot you’d been holding, lightly dusted off your green shop apron before approaching the man. He seemed no more certain than his last visit, scanning everything slowly and cautiously to take in any changes. He finally faced you, and you could see the quick glint of guilt flashing across his face. You put your hands on your hips in a mock annoyance, smiling to show you didn’t actually mean it.

“Good to see you again,” you said, and he blinked in surprise, as though he hadn’t expected you’d remember him. Pish. As if anyone could forget someone this gorgeous. “Although I have to warn you, we’re closing in twenty-five minutes.”

He relaxed his shoulders minutely, the corners of his lips twitching like he wanted to smile but didn’t know how to. “I apologize for dropping in so late. I’ll make it quick; would you happen to have a cat grass?”

“Cat grass?” You couldn’t help your eyes growing big; the man, to his credit, merely nodded. You rubbed the back of your neck, quickly looking back and around the shop in general. “Uh, let me think......so that’s, like, the plants safe for cats to eat, right? I think I’ve seen them around the shop before, but I’m not sure if we’ve still got them. Would you mind waiting while I do a quick look around?”

“Not at all. Thank you,” the man gave you a little nod; he made such a tiny gesture look so graceful, you couldn’t help but grin like an idiot.

Kara caught the look on your face as you dashed to the shelves at the back; she quickly followed you, a (hopefully) safe distance between you and the mystery man so he couldn’t hear.

“Do you know him?” she asked, point blank. You were still grinning.

“Sort of? He came by few days ago. First customer of that day, actually, bought exactly fifty-nine roses for his mom―I think―and gave me a nice tip, too. Told him he didn’t have to, but he insisted,” you prattled as you searched through the shelves; nope, they weren’t here. “Hey, Kara, didn’t we have some wheatgrass over here?”

“We don’t have them anymore, I think,” said Kara, but she seemed more thoughtful than before, and it definitely wasn’t about the whereabouts of the wheatgrass. Finally, you turned to look at her.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Kara’s smile turned airy immediately, but you swore you could have seen a......shine of knowing shift in her eyes. “We haven’t got wheatgrass in pots, (Y/N), but if he’s okay with the seeds, they’re here.”

“Thanks, Kara!” You happily took the packet of seeds from her; Kara shooed you towards the open area.

“You give that to the customer. I’ll finish tidying up.”

“Are you sure? I could help―”

“It’s fine, (Y/N),” she shooed again, still smiling. “Go on, don’t keep him waiting.”

When you returned to the shop floor, the gentleman was still surveying the area, everything about him just as meticulous as the first time you’d seen him. That bit of dark hair shadowing the forehead just right, a long trench coat over a black turtleneck shirt and matching pants. Damn, but his legs were long and shapely. You’d only seen that kind of legs on supermodels in magazines. No gloves, which was a shame, but his naked hands were pale, with translucently blue veins faintly prominent, his fingers long and elegant. You’d never thought a day would come when you’d use the word beautiful to describe a man’s hands, but never say never, as they said. And you’d never been more happy to be proven wrong.

He noticed you and turned to face you. You tried to erase that stupid, appreciative grin on your face but probably only succeeded in making yourself look more idiotic. Still, you didn’t falter as you held out the packet.

“We didn’t have the grown plant in a pot, but I did find the seeds―well, my boss did, but anyways,” your rambling suddenly stopped when he gave you a smile; a genuine, barely-there-but-still-a-perfect smile.

“Thank you,” he said, that sexy, sexy baritone ringing pleasantly and doing something insidious to your poor heart, “I understand this is a strange request, and at such late hour, too. I really appreciate you doing this for me.”

“Oh, uh―no worries? I mean, that’s what I do! That’s what I’m paid to do. Not that I’m just helping you out for the sake of money! I mean, I―” you stopped, burying your face in your hands. You were so lucky Kara was at the back and only this guy was a witness to you making fool of yourself. This very, very handsome guy who was practically your fantasy on legs. “Ohmygod......”

To your absolute mortification - or surprise? - he let out a quiet chuckle. He gently took the packet from your hands, silently gazing at you.

“Thank you,” he repeated, and this time, it felts more sincere, more heartfelt on your burning ears. “I hadn’t even realized how much I’d needed that today. Truly, I’m grateful.”

“Uhh......for me being silly? Or for the seeds?” you threw a haphazard guess just to cover up how awkward you felt, but he still sounded frustratingly sincere. 

“A laugh.” Alright, at least he sounded like he meant it. You could live with that. You swallowed, nodding, still not looking up from the floor. You could still hear the faint mirth in his voice. It made his voice sound lighter, more humane. You had a feeling that he wasn’t like that often enough. “Today was......difficult, so to speak. So thank you, not just for your help but also for making my day.”

“Or an evening.” You couldn’t help but quip as you raised your head to meet his eyes. The grey-blue of his eyes felt like a quiet storm, or maybe that was just your heart doing a marathon right now. Shit. Not now, heart. “If you’d like to take the seeds, I can help you with the―is that blood on your shoes?”

His face immediately hardened at your blurted words. You’d only just noticed the small, dark stain on the edge of his loafer, and he quickly looked down as well. You didn’t miss how his jaw tensed up all of a sudden, but he merely started speaking again, calm and composed. As if he’d been aware of it all along.

“I was helping my brother bandage his hand,” he explained. “He cut his palm quite deeply and couldn’t manage on his own. There was blood everywhere―I thought I’d cleaned everything,” he shrugged a little, “I guess I missed a spot.”

“Oh. Oh dear, I hope your brother’s alright,” the tension in your shoulders deflated instantly. “That was awfully nice of you to help him. You’re not afraid of blood?”

“No, not really,” he said as he followed you to the counter to make the payment. “My brother would get himself hurt all the time; he’s older, but he’s always been the more careless one as well. It’s nothing new, although it was alarming when he bled all over the carpet.”

"Aw,” you gave him a sympathetic smile, ringing up the price. He politely declined the bag but took the receipt. As you handed him the piece of paper, you solemnly and discreetly added:

“Hydrogen peroxide.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Hydrogen peroxide. Bleach. For getting rid of the bloodstain,” you waved a hand to emphasize, “just spray some hydrogen peroxide on the spot, wash the area with dish-washing liquid, scrub it with warm water and it’s as good as new. You’ll save your carpet in no time.”

He blinked, then promptly bursted into laughter. This was no restrained chuckle like before; this was a full-on, genuine laugh that stunned you, but most of all, even the man himself seemed bewildered by his own reaction. Yep, he definitely wasn’t someone who laughed often. But it was still a very nice laugh, a deep and resonant sound that made something in your chest tickle. You giggled as well, before holding out the receipt at him again.

“Just giving you a valuable tip. Carpets can be expensive to replace, you know.”

“They can be, yes,” he agreed easily. Your fingertips brushed his as he took the paper. As childish as it was, you couldn’t help the thrill that rushed through your heart. “Thank you for your help, the seeds and the advice.”

“No worries. Happy to help,” you gave him a mock salute, to which he nodded. His face seemed much softer now, less uncertain. More alive. 

As he reached the door to leave, he paused, before turning back to look at you.

“How did you know about using bleach to remove bloodstain?”

“I’m a girl, sir,” you gave him your most flat look. “Of course I know how to remove a bloodstain or two.”

[hellomagicalsouls]

i know im wrong on this but the thought is stuck. unless im not wrong (👀)

this to me:

looks like he's getting dressed for a birthday party. the costume just doesn't look very official spaceman to me but then again they are potentially in an apocalypse environment.

so take what you can. I just think maybe he's getting dressed to be spaceman or maybe Claire or Diego/Lila's kid?

just needed to get that out there

[belalugosisdeadness-blog]

A New Years Eve Story BenjiXEthan

“Come on Benji, just come to my new years party it’ll be fun. Everyone else is going to be there. Even Ethan.” A sing songy tune as Brandt rolls over Ethan’s name, “So what do ya say?” I hate parties they make me terribly horribly anxious and normally I wouldn't go, but I could hang out with Ethan. New Years Eve is very romantic I’ve been meaning to tell him how I’m feeling for a while, “I guess sure I’ll come. Do you want me to bring something?” my hand subconsciously finds my way to my hair and I brush it back. Brandt raises and eyebrow, “Nope, just look nice for Ethan.” Ugh Brandt. 

9:00 PM 

I’m bringing a pack of beer anyway. Just to spite Brandt also he has a terrible taste. Not really that great of a helper either. But Ethan, Ethan was going to be there. Ethan Hunt, his beautiful name just rolls off of my tongue. Everyday I talk to Ethan and it just keeps getting harder. I want to be with him. He’s so strong, I feel so protected in his arms. I’ve been dreaming of kissing him on New Years Eve as the ball drops in New York. I’m just walking down the street to Brandt's house when I hear,

“Hey, Benji!” I turn around in the direction of the voice

“Hey Luther!” I stop and wait for him to jog up to me.

“You going to Brandt’s party?” 

“Yep.” I hold up the beer. and we start to walk

“Heineken, good choice. You know Ethan is going to be there. Are you going to tell him?” 

“Luther I just you know how awkward it would be and well maybe -Oh look that's Brandt’s neighborhood right there.” We walk in and find Brandt’s house among the many we all up to the door and ring the bell. It opens, 

“Hey guys, I’m so glad you could make it!” Brandt opens the door with a smile he motions for us to come in and we walk into his house. It’s a typical modern house with beautiful wood floors I can see everyone is sitting on the couch crowding around the TV and then I see Ethan. He looks over at me and smiles bearing his pearly white teeth. He gets up from the couch and walks over. 

“Hey Benji!” 

Ethan and I sit down facing the TV with the beer on the table behind. I manage to spark up a decent conversation talk for a long time he asks me about myself and I ask him about himself. It just flows so naturally with Ethan. He used to take Ballet when he was younger! He talked about growing up and I stood and listened to him talk. He didn’t usually talk so much about himself, but after some careful coaxing it all came out at once. This was a moment that I wanted to stay in forever. If I had stayed right here forever right now I would be perfectly happy

10:00 PM 

We were talking everything was perfect Ethan was going on a long monologue about how much he hated his first grade teacher and then he looks back at me, “Hey, Benji I’ve been talking forever tell me about yourself.” It is true we’re friends, we work together, but thinking about it Ethan doesn’t know that much about me, 

“Well, um what do what do you want to know?” Ethan looks up to me, “Tell me about your love life.” I felt my cheeks blush a little and I felt my hand go straight to the front of my to brush through it out of embarrassment, “Um, okay I had a boyfriend his name was Andrew we were together for almost a year.” Andrew poor lad I miss him.

“Why aren’t you still together?”

Oh no. It’s because of Ethan, because I couldn’t be in a relationship when I loved someone else, “I’m sorry excuse me for a moment Ethan.” 

“Wait Benji, no, come back. I’m sorry that was out of hand I shouldn’t have said that can you just stay.” 

Ethan wants me to stay, “sure.” We sit in blank silence for a bit. Ethan seems to be just sitting enjoying the smiling faces of people watching the hockey game. However I’m truly upset. I love Ethan, but he just reminded me of Andrew and everything is so confusing. I truly hate parties why did I come. Every sound is echoing a thousand times and I can’t stand it. Im getting complete sensory overload, I feel like I'm going to scream at everyone here. Ethan is still right next to me I think I see him look up at me. My heart begins to race at the thought. I feel sick. I feel my hands shaking as sweat drips from my forehead. I need more beer. I reach to grab one when I feel a hand on my wrist. 

“Benji, we need to talk. I’m worried about you.” Ethan cuffs my wrist and drags me to the backyard. Ethan sits me down on the steps leading to the backyard and sits there with me, 

“Ethan what’s going on? I’m fine, I’m just not a party person is all.”

He looks me dead in the eyes to a point where it’s uncomfortable, “Benji, I’m sorry about earlier that was inconsiderate of me to say. People aren’t like files and I can’t just open them and get all the information I want.” 

Of course he apologizes perfect bloody Ethan Hunt. Should I look down and upset to make it dramatic? Should I just confront him? What would Ethan do? well maybe, “You’re just so perfect. You’re Ethan bloody Hunt and you could get any boy or girl or anything in between that you wanted. I had Andrew and I had to chose between him and my job and I ended up choosing my job because it’s not just the job Ethan. It you and how bloody perfect you are.” 

Ethan looks up, “You think I’m perfect?” 

11:00 

“Ethan, I’m just going to say everything I’m thinking right now and put it all out on the table because its too much for me to think right now. I hate parties. Can’t stand them I feel crowded and gross and they make me truly anxious and it’s like the whole world is closing in-” I stop Ethan pulls me into a hug a warm hug. He flexes his muscular arms around me and squeezes. His  long sleeved REO Speedwagon shirt protecting me from the cold. I feel a wave of calm wash over me like this was a thousand birthdays wrapped into one single moment. I could stay here forever. I turn and I hug him back. I carefully tuck my chin into his neck. 

“Benji, I can’t let anything happen to you. So I better just hold you for the rest of the night to keep you safe.” 

“I love you, Ethan.” Ethan lifts his head and suddenly our eyes meet. His brown eyes filled with golden specks of determination and love. 

“I love you too, Benji” he puts his chin back on my shoulder and I follow suit. We sit there for a while just relaxing in this moment. Except I can’t relax Ethan said he loved me. Ethan loves me. I feel like a giddy school girl, but I just might start jumping around. 

“Move it love birds.” Luther’s voice echoes. 

We look up and get off the stairs. Luther walks down and out to the yard. He’s setting up for the fireworks. He takes out so many different kinds and he fills a bucket with water. I get so excited watching everyone set up the fireworks i hardly notice Ethan wrapping his hand around mine as our fingers interlace. Luther looks up from placing all the fireworks about and looks to the door.

Brandt practically jumps out into the yard, “10!”

“9!” everyone starts to join in.

“8!” Ethan squeezes my hand a little tighter

“7!” He wraps around my waist

“6!” He rests his chin on my shoulder from behind me

“5!” Ethan spins me around to face him

“4!” I wrap my arms around his neck

“3!” his hands go to my hips

“2!” our foreheads touch 

“1!” Before I can even say happy new year Ethan pulls my lips into his and we share a beautiful kiss. Feeling his lips against mine is like pure heaven on earth. It feels like riding on a shooting star. I know that Ethan feels the same way as he squeezes my shoulder and pushes my head back towards his. We’re moving in sync with each other. I feel a jolt of electricity sparking through my entire body. My calf muscles start tightening and I feel like I could run a marathon. As people start to leave the yard we slowly pull away from each other resentful to break the kiss. We stand there foreheads touching we stand taking in the sounds of the night combined with the heat of each other’s breath suddenly Ethan breaks the silence, 

“My place?”

“Your place.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

[thegeminisage]

What other characters (of DBH) you think people should appreciate more and why? I love read your opinions❤

omg anon pls thats so sweet

(if anybody wasn’t here for the last ask the first character was north & there’s a follow-up here)

alright just a “””quick””” (lol as if) little thing for each one bc it’s getting late & you’ve already been waiting on this for like an hour at the time i started typing. it’s probably gonna be long as fuck but the tl;dr is at the bottom

LUTHER:

they did luther so dirty…it was like david cage was playing “racist trope bingo” for his entire debut chapter…and then on top of that all he cares about is kara & alice, these two near-strangers, and it’s real easy to get him killed for them. in fact, in an ending where kara sacrifices herself at the border, she tells alice that luther will get her across the border, and after that, rose will take care of her. UM WHAT? don’t call ur PSN trophy “happy family” and then try to erase luther like that!! what does luther want? what are his hopes and dreams, his fears? nobody ever bothers to ask bc they’re too busy making ralph alice’s dad. and it’s not that i don’t like ralph - i do! but he threatened alice with a knife TWICE. after her previous dad’s bullshit, that’s the last thing she needs!!

here’s my take on luther: he says that what his life was before kara & alice doesn’t matter, and that’s because david cage doesn’t care about him. but imagine instead that luther remembers what he did (was forced to do) before he broke his programming. our luther is sweet and gentle and good, but zlatko forced him to use his strength as a weapon for LITERALLY tearing people apart. don’t you think luther regrets that? don’t you think he wishes he could take it back? perhaps his even temper and loving heart is a RESULT of those early memories: he’s seen the worst sides of anger and callousness, he’s had to be complicit in it. my feeling is that he never ever wants to be complicit in something like that again…it feels weird when he picks up a gun in the game because i think he would be even more of a staunch pacifist than josh?? i feel like even when luther does get annoyed or angry he’s so afraid of the harm he’s capable of doing he doesn’t even really let himself feel it And That’s Sad. he should be able to get annoyed at like a broken coffee maker or some shit without illogically worrying it will result in someone’s maiming or death?? maybe he is So Ready to throw himself on a grenade for kara and alice because yes, he does love them, but also he feels he has to redeem himself somehow, yk? he has to be willing to do absolutely WHATEVER it takes to be Good

they didn’t give luther any depth…he never got to speak to zlatko’s captives and apologize, he never got to express a feeling about kara potentially burning down the whole fucking nightmare house (with living androids inside, i might add) - would he have wished to save those androids? would he be glad their suffering was over? would he have motherfucking hearts in his eyes for kara single-handedly destroying his own personal hell? he deviated for alice, it was alice that made him say “ok, doing this to kids is where i literally can’t take it anymore” - don’t you think he’d be so retroactively terrified of all the terrible things that could have happened to her? 

like i truly don’t get why people make ralph alice’s dad when luther loves her so fucking much he’d bring her the moon if she asked - he’s the only person who loves her just as selflessly and unconditionally as kara does. she accepted him and wanted him to say goodnight their very first night together…as soon as he resisted his programming, she stopped being afraid of him, and it must be so amazing for him to finally have people around who don’t either fear him or try to control him…whether u ship him with kara or not (i do, everyone should - it’s one thing to HC kara as gay but i side-eye people who don’t wanna ship luther with anybody) you know he’s gotta cherish them so much

AMANDA:

ok look i know amanda is the antag to connor’s story but honestly she’s metal as FUCK. i was so fucking floored to not only learn the garden isn’t a garden but that amanda isn’t amanda…my first playthrough i was letting connor be just a lil bit deviant but whenever amanda would ask about it i would panic and lie…now i know it doesnt matter what you can say and you can be blatantly deviant right in front of her and she’s like ok Whatever BUT i was deeply shook to realize all my lying to her all along hadn’t meant a thing…she did in fact KNOW i was lying because she wasn’t real, she was living in connor’s brain and she could see all that shit he was doing

and also?? like, imagine you were made out of a dead person’s face and voice. we don’t know if amanda has a body, we don’t know if kamski actually liked what he created or thought it was creepy (like imagine if he and amanda were close and then she died…it’d be weird to see her like that), we don’t know if amanda CAN deviate like the androids…she’s living this half life potentially stuck in some garden and just doing what her program says like everybody else. but even though machines get all the sympathy in this game i very rarely ever see people stop and go “dude, is she ok…is someone controlling her can we help her” - amanda’s a lot like connor, she’s hunting down deviants but she’s not a human and she’s not alive yet so who’s pulling her strings?? can they be cut??? 

JOSH:

i’ll be honest i haven’t figured out what Angle i like best for josh the way i’ve got one for luther and north but he has such strong convictions i feel like they would have to stem from some past experience. everybody’s always arguing about simon vs north that nobody stops to give josh the attention he deserves…he’s part of the fantastic 4 too!! who is josh? what does he want? what is he afraid of? does he refuse to be violent for reasons like luther - did he hurt someone, deliberately or accidentally? (to a lesser extent, a pacifist markus who shoved leo can also follow this pattern - he gave into violence and thought he’d killed carl’s son, so he swore to do no more violence after that.) or: did he see someone else get hurt/get hurt himself? i know the backstory they give him in the gallery but tbh it’s very similar and not stand-out from most of the rest of the stuff we hear…

like, what made josh deviate? we literally never find out. i think it would be interesting tho if instead of just being the victim of violence, he was ordered to DO violence, and refused - maybe that’s why he got hurt. but i think his relationship WITH violence could be a complex thing for anyone who wanted to tackle it. we know why north prefers violence, why does josh detest it? (similarly, why does simon prefer safety over either approach? - but fandom gives him a lot of love and attention and tries to explain this, and nobody tries to explain it for josh.)

KARA & ALICE:

like…to a small extent…i know they’re main characters but i could write an essay just on why they didn’t get a fair shake either - constant victims of assault, little depth, kara got to choose what happened to her but not what kind of person she was gonna be like markus & connor, significantly less playtime than markus & connor, had NO influence on the big macro plot like markus & connor, i could go on…but definitely the worst for me is that everything about kara that made us love her (from the short), was ERASED - david took her memories and never made the slightest move towards kara wanting them back, or her being able to get them back. she’s six years old and he took all of her history from her, all of her agency!! i feel like translated into fic they can both become very flat - all kara cares about is protecting alice, and alice is constantly scared or hurt or needing to be taken care of, like a baby doll. granted that’s not actually far from the game’s canon, but it could have been MORE. kara had six entire years of experiences before she met alice - what makes alice special? who is kara without alice? 

i really wish we had been able to take a personality route with kara - her main superpower seems to be empathy and getting people on her side (ralph, jerrys, zlatko’s creatures), but she can also wave around a gun at anybody who gets near her baby. it would have been really interesting to explore two sides of that - to have a kara who is 1000% Done and ready for wholesale murder if it means surviving vs having a kara who can bring out the best in anyone, even if they seem like bad people at first. (imagine the influence you could have over alice - she would learn to be wary of strangers or be warm to them.) but instead the narrative is wishy-washy; you can’t teach alice anything, and in fact she serves as kara’s moral compass instead of the other way around - you wind up doing things like comforting the guy who broke kara multiple times and waving a gun at ralph (who like, shouldn’t have done that, but also isn’t 100% in control of his own facualities all the time). it would have been really interesting to see kara be able to influence her own fate more as well - the camp sections are shitty and should not exist but like maybe a kara who had spent the whole game yelling at everyone with a gun would have the ability unlocked to then rally the people inside, and who cared what connor and markus were doing, you know? 

but david doesn’t know how to write women so that’s not what we got - kara carried that entire franchise into reality and he totally screwed her over!!

TL;DR

luther was forced to do terrible things and that could explain a lot of his behavior if anybody cared, nobody ever wonders if amanda is being forced to obey programming like the rest of the machines or if she’s ok, josh’s relationship with violence could be very complex and we don’t know his motivation for refusing to participate in it the way we know north’s for preferring it, and david can’t write women so he shafted kara so fucking bad and it is an honest to god shame

(dbh meta tag)

[hellomagicalsouls]

luther is the one i actually have no idea about for once. i cannot pin the himbo down.

he's absolutely freewheeling his way through life at this point. or maybe he's having a well overdue breakdown?

he's scrapbooking, he's fighting, he's spacemanning

everything points to breakdown. or boredom.