#im getting too comfortable speaking up bc they wont see this lol

[strawberryona]

Cannibalism and Kabru? Interesting. I wonder how he would do with such thing, considering that he’s most likely traumatized by seeing people from his home village being devoured by monsters…

Anyways, I wanted to ask this for a while now:

So, what are your ideas for this ship? What is your s/i like? How did she and Kabru meet? What is the dynamic? What role does cannibalism plays? Just, I’m dying to know what is going on.

Fun fact: I myself have been eyeing Kabru before properly watching Dungeon Meshi, suspecting that I might get a crush on him. But then shit happened, and here I am, obsessing over Thistle instead... Kabru is still cool, though. I especially love how the manga shows that him lying to manipulate people has consequences, so now he has to supress his honest emotions and do things he doesn’t want to do. It’s hilarious, I have never seen it done anywhere before.

(By the way, I’ve seen many people joke about being disappointed by Kabru being a man because they though he was a beautiful butch woman. Thoughts on that?)

– villain-in-love

so sorry to say… the cannibalism is mostly symbolic…. 😔 it’s like sentiments of “i want to eat you” and sexual biting and like. heavy cannibalism allusion used in smut. that kind of thing. kabru i think wouldnt be able to stomach survival cannibalism much less pleasure cannibalism like hes not that kind of guy. cath is a different story.

speaking of cath shes my s/i. her name is Catherine Entrailé she’s fantasy french (unfortunately, that was just too good a name…) and she’s a vulture beastman (were-vulture?). she can shift between human and vulture forms and was cursed to be this way (like izutsumi). she needs to turn fully into a vulture every so often or suffers consequences, she disappears from the party for a few days at a time and they notice a vulture following them, etc etc…

i havent decided who cursed her shes still a fledgling character. likewise i dont know how cath and kabru met (shes in his party) and suggestions would be appreciated lol. i am thinking of giving her a dead sister or something as backstory.

also, as backstory, she has past trauma from being poisoned, so she has to know EXACTLY whats in her food at all times. she eats carrion because its one flesh with no extra ingredients. this sets up conflict with senshi bc nooo why are you putting extra things in my food are you going to poison me!! so she’s like izutsumi bc they’re both picky eaters. she and izutsumi would either get along like a house on fire Or become lifelong mortal enemies. also there might be an arc there about growing past it because shes a vulture now and can digest many toxins without being harmed.

i think thats probably all i have for her for right now, hopefully i can come up with more stuff soon~ i know her dynamic with kabru, though. the reason why she’s in the dungeon is because she’s a murderhobo actually. she’s like kabru in that she hates monsters, but she hates Literally Everything Else too and thinks all humans should die. if she doesnt kill things in the dungeon she will start doing it on the surface. kabru is worried by and captivated by her weird psychology. they also hook up before he realizes she’s a beastman bc she keeps it well hidden. after he realizes he fucked a girl thats part monster he gets so upset it gives him cramps. i still dont know how to get over this obstacle lol i do not think kabru wants to be shipped with a demihuman. sucks for him bc im doing it anyway hes my little toy 🤍

other assorted thoughts: cath heavily enables kabru’s desires and they have like hungry hands-everywhere can’t-get-enough-of-your-body-sex, laios is the reason why cath became more comfortable telling people she’s a beastman and existing in an state between human and vulture (kabru wants to kill himself so bad rn), tension between rin and kabru and cath happens where rin absolutely despises cath bc kabru wont give her attention but will give cath attention. cath kind of doesnt care about rin too much bc shes aro/polyam like me. if they one sided hatefuck it will go nuclear and tear the party apart.

anyways to the rest of your ask! yes kabru is such an interesting and unique character! i like how hes shown as sympathetic and with good intentions but has some very worrying traits like what is up with his freaky stare when he straight up executes those guys? and when he attacks falin? and also the way his trauma affects him is pretty well done. sometimes he reminds me of light yagami but better lol. he also does take it upon himself who gets to live and die based on a moral framework of “some humans are irredeemable vermin that must be removed” but he’s actually a likeable character and DOES NOT have a god complex. my poor little fucked up guy im gonna use him

i never thought kabru was a butch woman but sometimes i wish he was 😔 though i’ve been doing surprisingly well with the idea of him as a cis man. it pisses me off a little bit that he and cath are m/f and both cis. at least hes bisexual. usually my s/is are lesbian but i cant do that here lol. ALTHOUGH i was thinking genderfluid or crossdresser kabru maybe inspired by ryuko kui’s r63 art (Manipulative Girlfriend kabru you will always be famous) plus this tweet: https://x.com/bedtimecreature/status/1768118459693682865?t=2IniV5ZjNZ9m-fdhHU-Vcg&s=19 idk he just looks really good here man i love him. (i dont hc him as transmasc tho)

this is getting long lol so i think ill end it here. hey i got it in earlier than “in the next week”! thanks for reminding me i had to write this haha

[bluebunnysart]

i'm still super excited so im gonna gush some more (abt the fic) but i do wanna say i freakin love how big the artist chose to make Teto's wings; i thought my own drawing was big but this artist made them BIGGER and I LOVE THAT because she's sooo creature-coded and i super love that about her, just, isnt it so cool when we have three characters (Triple Baka) but one of them can just sprout (hugeass) wings at any time, Teto, ur so so special <3

Also i love the clear circuitry on Miku's face/the side of her neck.... super obviously an android...... I welcome it immensely, I didnt think of that but I absolutely accept it. She's actually been in that place for a non-small amount of time so it'd make sense if she got slightly damaged from the elements!! Idk if I'll change my existing drawing since I'm treating it as alternate interpretations which i love, but I wanted to say I love it <3

Fanfic spoilers below:

talking about my own fic, one of my favorite moments is towards the end where Miku is like completely ready to ditch her bc eksgskfsks ofc Teto's like, "??!???!" and if i drew it, you'd start seeing her expression slowly change into mild irritation/sheer disbelief bc I think it's kinda understandable why Teto would be the type to get attached easily (in this setting) but all Miku remembers is Teto agreed to help her for a little bit so ofc Miku's like, "Yay you've done what you said you would! thank you so very much! I will now be taking my leave"

The reason I like this moment (among others) is bc I think it really highlights their differences in personality and approaching things xD Ofc I love interpretation so I wont cross out alternate interpretations at all but if you're curious about mine,

I'm a fan of tsundere (always have been) but this Teto in particular (UTAU Teto) has had like zero contact with others for quite a while..... She might even be a shut-in because I did briefly explore her perspective in my mind and she actually tries to avoid others/going out if she can help it. That's bc going out into the world depresses her!!! lol!

She doesnt immediately trust others, maybe she's seen how savage/disloyal other creatures are and thinks there cant be anything good from associating with them or getting along with them, so she's most comfortable alone. When she first encounters Miku, you might be able to make this connection, but the main reason she approached (besides needing food) was she was like, "who is THAT??" and thought it might actually be a human (all of whom were supposed to have died out a long time ago). Teto has mixed feelings towards humans, maybe a mix of positive and negative, so unlike other creatures, if she saw a human, of course she'd get curious. Obviously humans make her favorite French bread too so she owes them for that xD

ANYWAY Teto lore dump aside, she doesnt know how to socialize/be very friendly and is pretty blunt/sharp-tongued/sassy. The main thing about her is she's kinda dishonest now and cant really speak her feelings cuz it feels like revealing weakness, so if she's ever expressing something about herself, she's most likely to couch it in like rational or practical terms. never "i want/feel like this so please listen to me" but more "this will benefit us both so I'd go with that if I were you". It's something I find very cute about her!!!

Miku is the straightforward type who doesnt understand connotations or anything yet so she's really easily the type to say or do socially unconventional things and have Teto react like "???" (one of my favorite reactions in manga/etc is confusion lmao, it's just so raw)

Anyway Teto would never bully Miku or anything, she's just sassy and sharp like I mentioned, but Miku is also the type to have those things completely fly over her head, so even if Teto tried to rile Miku up in return, she'd probably totally fail at it and it'd backfire xD (making her embarrassed instead from even trying/thinking it'd work)

This is just random gushing about different personalities coming together and interacting with each other but honestly this is prompted by the fanart too cuz i LOVE those expressions

i'm so happy people like the fic LOL, i posted it expecting like only one kudos at the very least I hoped so I'm really happy! having more eyes on it makes me kinda nervous but I'm glad if the reception is positive ^_^ (it's not like I'd crumble if i got negativity but I really would prefer not to see it considering how much I like Negidrill!! so!!! xD)

OH YEAH, WHILE I WAS looking up Walkmans to help describe them in my fic ebay recommended me a HATSUNE MIKU WALKMAN and that made me laugh bc everything that exists has a Hatsune Miku version of it out there, bet xD

Was fitting considering I was also making Hatsune Miku fanfic 😂😂😂😂

[hokiis-writing-dump]

Genshin Team Sleeping Trend, but I write about it instead.

So I’m back from a long time of no writing at all, and there’s no real reason for my absence besides me burning out. I stopped playing Genshin for a while and didn’t really keep in touch with any content for it either. Don’t expect this to be really all that accurate with storyline (because I did sorta not pay too much attention during Sumeru’s story, I got tired of how long it was) but it’s taking place after the most recent lantern rite. I can’t guarantee I’ll stay consistent with a schedule, so honestly, expect more of me posting at random when I’m in the mood, lol.

Characters in my team: Aether, Kazuha, Albedo and Heizou

Content Includes: Maybe ooc characters bc I haven't written for genshin in a long time, no paimon bc idk how to write for her, Scaramouche/Wander mentioned to be in the teapot but not with the others, teapot layout is the one thats like...water and islands. forgot what its called.

Extra Headcanons:

They're kinda relevant for this, but both Traveler(Aether in this case) and Wanderer don't sleep. Wanderer because he's a puppet, Aether because...well he's not human. That's a headcanon thats lenghty, so i wont explain it here. Okay last thing, Aether doesn't speak in ig...full sentences. He skips words sometimes and breaks up the sentence. I don't think he's fluent in Teyvat's language, hence why Paimon speaks so much.

The 4 entered the SereniteaPot after a long and arduous day of commissions, quests, errands, etc. and removed most of their unnecessary accessories.

Heizou swiftly made his way over to the nearest couch and flopped down face-first, probably almost asleep already. “Im not the only one who’s completely dead after all of those cases, right?” Heizou’s muffled voice echoed from the pillows on the couch. Albedo smirked at Heizou’s display of exhaustion.

“Guess it’s time to sleep then already? We did eat while we were out, so I suppose we can go right to bed. It is late.” Kazuha turns and questions, hanging his haori(correct me pls if that’s the wrong thing) up near the door. He places his shoulder guard down on a shelf nearby as well, besides the numerous trinkets Aether has collected on his travels.

“I’m not completely drained but…I suppose we can. Aether, you’ll be resting tonight, right?” Albedo turns to Aether, who was about to walk right back out of the teapots mansion and probably train outside the whole night. Albedo shoots Aether a disappointed look, expecting him to turn back around immediately and follow them back in, but Aether continues to slowly leave the doorway.

“Aether.”

Aether gives Albedo a glance back, almost pleading to not have to ‘sleep’. Albedo knows full and well that Aether doesn’t really sleep, but has still yet to know exactly why. Either way, seeing him at least lay down for the night would be enough.

“…You know I won’t sleep. No point in laying down.” Aether tries to reason his way out of this, preferring to do something a bit more productive.

“Get back here, and come lay down. We’ll even push the couches together like have you have it set up in your room, if that makes you more comfortable.” Albedo nods towards Kazuha after this, and Kazuha goes to start moving the couch Heizou is on and another couch in the open living room.

Aether sighs, deciding not to fight this one, and comes back into the mansion. He leaves his shoes at the door where everyone else’s shoes are, and then comes to help Albedo move blankets and pillows in from Aether's room.

"Where would you even be this late in the teapot? I know you have a small forest somewhere on the islands here, but would you really just train there all night?" Albedo inquires, genuinely confused on where Aether would even go this late since the teapot matches Teyvat's time. Aether looks around, putting a few pillows under his arm and rubbing the back of his neck.

He shrugs. "Dunno...maybe find Wanderer. Train with him? Talk with him. He doesn't sleep either." Aether's taken out the braid he usually wears now, his earing, scarf and whatever else being set at the table in his room. Albedo shakes his head in sighs. Guess he has to talk to this 'Wanderer', who he has still yet to meet despite Aether mentioning him before, and get him to rest as well. They both return to the living room soon after this exchange.

Once everything is moved, the four change into clothing that’s a bit more comfortable, and slowly begin to lay down one by one. Aether grabs a few books, of course. If he’s going to lay here for hours while the others sleep, he has to be doing SOMETHING. Not lay there contemplating his existence.

There’s idle banter for a good thirty minutes or so, chatting about what they’ll do tomorrow, what they’d want for breakfast, anything really. Heizou’s the first to fall asleep, after he curls himself around Aether in an inescapable death grip to insure he won’t be able to leave in the middle of the night without waking anyone else. Kazuha falls asleep next in the middle of his speech, causing Albedo and Aether to chuckle and joke about it for a few minutes after. Albedo then falls asleep last, after wishing Aether a goodnight and almost saying ‘Sleep well’ despite knowing he won’t sleep at all.

Aether opens one of the many books he’s read before, in similar situations of the others forcing him to at least lay down with them. He won’t sleep, but it’s nice to have the comfort of people he trusts being beside him in a moment of repose such as this. They can’t hear Aether but he speaks anyways.

“Goodnight, sweet dreams.”

[threetangerines]

hey, ryen!! how are you, love?

i was catching up with the blog just now and read the 📖 anon ask, and oh my god. i wanted to say a few things and you know i talk a lot, but bear with me, i promise this ask is gonna be a mess

i find it absolutely incredible and heartwarming how much 3tan is expanding. just the fact that you felt the necessity to create a separate blog to filter our craziness, or how each day we get to know more anons and how we recently learned that your writing speaks to and reaches men too. i feel so glad that you're receiving so much love and more recognition in each step of the way!

also, i love to hear how 3tan moved other readers. i love to hear about your inclusivity having an impact, about your caution whenever writing a character makes you write something that's relatable even if from a different background than yours.

urgh. you truly are such a great author, and i want so damn much to have a physical copy of 3tan once is over (if it'll ever be aksjak).

anyways, all this bc i wanted to share a bit of how your writing touched me too

when i had my 3tan journey, i was in a very bad place (that i wont detail bc i dont wanna trigger anyone or expose myself lol) and that's why i read all of it in one weekend.

i found shelter in your words in a way that i can't possibility explain. your story helped me to elaborate my feelings, and shed light on a lot of stuff i felt, but didn't understand. del sagno was a slap on the face for me, it was a wake up call in so many ways and i actually started therapy not long after it and i finally just worte my first fic and so much of it was fueled by you. like, whenever i listen to bts' songs i feel like you're promoting the same messages and you help me to go through my own healing process.

what 3tan means to me is... well. more than you know, and that's why i wanted to write you that forfeit analysis, i wanted to try and give back in some way.

anyway, it's three in the morning here, and im kinda emotional (as i always seem to be), so i just wanna say one last thing.

in flutter, reader talks about finding a home in a person, and i think it speaks to most of us who found home in bts and army. but i feel like you've proven to me that one can also find home in books, bc although i've always heard ppl talking about it, i've never felt it. 3tan tho? 3tan is easy to love bc it's real, 3tan is the easiest thing to love bc it feels like home.

hi, lua! i'm doing well<3 and idk if you meant to message this blog or kithtaehyung but omg 📖 is incredible, right??

i'm really excited that 3tan is expanding, as well (and i'm happy this blog now exists so that we can have our own little nook!) the recognition is cool but i'm truly just glad that people are finding themselves in this series and learning from it, just as i have.

there are so many people that love bangtan, and by extension, read bangtan fics. this is why i wanna be sure anyone can be comfortable reading mine and know that they are understood and seen<33 we shall see if there are physical copies! you are way too kind and i am so happy to have you here.

oh, love... i will say this: therapy is huge. proud of you for seeking that out and following through because talking out what's been on your mind and getting it sorted is crucial to feeling better, thinking better. to be able to lead you into something helpful like that? i feel so much in my chest idek what else to say..

self-love and forgiveness is what i want us to all have. if my stuff resonates with you as much as the boys' songs do, then i can retire peacefully and with no regrets. i've never received a compliment or comment like that.. kinda just sitting here and staring at your message. :')) wow.

your forfeit/3tanalysis (whoa, another word we can use!) is mind-blowing and i wanna print it and keep it forever i'm so serious. i felt like an actual author in that moment and it was surreal getting to read it. i love you.

3tan will always be there for you when you need it. it's home for me, too, and i'm super glad you've found comfort in it, as well. this was all wonderful to hear. thank you for saying these things but i wanna fight you bc i'm just one big pile of mush now T^T

[misqnon]

HI im the anon who sent in that ask about one piece the other day and!!! AGHH. im too shy and socially anxious to send a message so sorry for communicating through asks but !!

THANK UU for responding to me !! it makes me so happy when people seem excited to talk to me, and i love hearing about peoples interests, so. i was very happy reading ur reply!!!! also this is probably an even longer message 😭 i cant help it i love to ramble

my history with one piece is long and complicated LMAO so i wont rant about it, but i started watching anime when i was 7 and one piece caught my attention when i was 10 i think, so ive had a lot of time to experience it tbh. but i was never that into it until i read the manga!! if im recommending one piece, i usually recommend the manga because its so much easier to get through imo.

honestly now that im caught up im like.. so afraid for the end of one piece. i never want it to end. i keep hearing that this is the final saga, and that one piece is ending soon, and my brain just. cannot comprehend it. i dont know if its just denial or what but i fully believe it won't end for another 5 years.. i havent experienced enough of the one piece world!!! i need more!! tell me everything about everyone in one piece PLEASE . it cant end . and those thoughts have been plaguing my mind since i restarted it LOL

looking at old forums to see peoples opinions from when each chapter dropped is genius??? i might have to do that.. i want to see their theories. i want to say "you have no idea whats in store...." or admire how smart they are for guessing things correctly

i find it funny that u like sanji cuz i have such complicated feelings around him. like he was my absolute favorite upon first introduction. i loved his kindness, i loved his interactions with gin, and i thought he was cool as hell. he was definitely a positive role model for my very damaged child brain. but i think the pervert joke and him treating women differently has pretty much ruined him for me. when i was younger a part of me felt like it was only right that he treat women better, but im pretty sure i just felt that way bc i hated the experience of being born female so much that the only way i could cope was by taking every and any advantage i could get. and then i figured out i was non binary.. and hes been turned into the most cartoonishly disgusting pervert .. and i see his potential and it just.. UGH!! you could have been so good. anyways all my feelings around him make it a lot more interesting to see u talk about him!! usually i just headcanon him as transfem and that satiates my burning rage and hatred towards him. but seeing sanji likers talk about liking sanji makes me actually like sanji more!! at this rate i might turn back into a sanji fan

im not in any one piece fan spaces but i AM consuming one piece content as often as possible (so all day. i dont have. a job. or school.). i know this is most likely a passing hyperfixation for me but im loving it anyways. i will definitely keep an eye on ur blog bc im sooo excited for when u catch up. im having so much fun theorizing about the end of the story and . and i hope u will too!! eek rant over thanks for listening (metaphorically)

HI ANON!! once again putting this under cut bc i will once again be freely speaking my way too many thoughts about the silly pirate manga. (fair warning. this. this is 2K words. anon im.....so sorry)

you don't have to worry about communicating through asks btw i literally do not care do whatever makes u comfortable my dude <3 and 1. thank YOU for sending a message :^) 2. i am loving the joyous atmosphere we have created ranting at each other back and forth HAHAHA it makes me happy to talk about interests like this as well!! (looks at length of my last reply and this one) clearly. we can think of this as like. electronic pen pals 👍bc i do be basically writing letters here LMAO

yea as u can tell its a little complicated for me too lmao ( i mean. the damn thing has been going on longer than i've been alive, so. it's touched many people in many ways. and it's complicated in its OWN right which. i'll get to. but holy shit 7 is younger than i expected! thats still a pretty long history (though i cant talk bc at age 4 i had a crush on goku even tho i had no idea what was happening half the time i was watching the dbz reruns on tv </3) and YEA. YEA THE MANGA IS. SO MUCH MORE STREAMLINED AND WELL PACED. EVEN THO I MISS THE COLOR AND MOVEMENT AND VOICE ACTING OF THE ANIME it was just takin too long. and i really like oda's art, so...reading the manga lets me look at it better. and there's more care put into the frames. but overall ur right the manga is chefs kiss in comparison to other versions (WHICH ARENT BAD!! JUST...SLOW. and though i think the live action wasnt really NEEDED i did. like it. and it is what got me back into op + got me caught up through east blue a lot faster HAHA)

tbh hearing that its in its last saga made me feel like i got into one piece at a really good time bc if i plan it right i can catch up and then follow along with the release for only a little while until its done. also the live action s2 and the "The One Piece" reanimated anime will be coming soon too. the content saturation is everywhere 👍(showering in it) THOUGH I DO FEEL A BIT PRESSURED LIKE. WHAT IF ONE PIECE FINISHES BEFORE I CATCH UP . which is insane bc im almost to wano (even though i hear wano is really long). and also...i think its been called the final "saga" but idk if that means final ARC you know...kinda like how water 7 and enies lobby kinda blend into one. or impel down and marineford are lumped together. idk i feel like we got a bit more. i just feel like there's so much we havent got answered yet and i dont think oda would just leave that stuff hanging. i know there;s a list out there of things that one piece needs to adress/come back to before it finishes but i havent looked at it bc im afraid of spoilers. however, just in my own mind theres a LOT i know has to happen that we need plenty of time for!! so. i wouldnt be surprised if it WAS 5 more years. i mean like...shanks needs to happen. i think zoro and sanji are gonna have a battle at some point (based on stuff ive seen from wano. im assuming) they gotta see laboon again. gotta revisit shirahoshi's situation. gotta see the dreams come true of each crewmate. tie off loose ends of side characters like tashigi and koby and the warlords. yanno

the "you have no idea what's in store.." is literally my exact emotions . i havent done it for this fandom YET but i plan to go to forums reading over ppl's theories like this

slash seeing how they react and getting giddy about it bc i like seeing how people react to shit. esp if they're shocked or enthusiastic about it like i usually am

about sanji. okay. listen. listen here. i. hate sanji. JNFNVFKDNL

no but actually no matter how complicated someone's feelings are towards sanji i promise you for sanji likers they are probably 100x more complicated unless they're weird dudebros who think he's cool (which he is but only like 10% of the time and not when he's being a chauvinistic ass)

one thing about me is that i. hate doing things that are distasteful or offensive in any capacity and that extends to the media i consume in that i dont like consuming media that is excessively problematic. i understand nuance so like OBVIOUSLY nothing is perfect and everything has problematic elements - but for a lot of shows there's one too many things on one side of the scale and i just dont like having that guilt on my shoulders consuming it. one piece fits that category but it's also SO BIG and SO LONG and its been going on for a WHILE and is such a phenomenon that i can let SOME stuff "slide"...and also realize "bitch one piece is so popular and near its end at this point that you, a single tumblr user, liking it or not liking it is not going to make a difference" and i'm (still) trying to make peace with that. things like oda's passive racism, The Entirety of Kamabakka Kingdom (literally don't even get me started), his blatant sexism in universe and his own opinions in the SBS...i've just come to realize i need to consume my media critically but still let myself have fun. im going through a rough period in life and this happens to be what my brain hyperfixated on and i cant change that so might as well have this outlet. ive made a lot of friends and am really enjoying the story for its good parts (found family, anti government and anti authoritarianism, importance of dreams and ambition and self love, the importance of mental health and trauma and how your past doesnt define you...etc)

i extend a lot of this thinking to sanji, too. to be fair i dont remember why he became my favorite. i think he was my fav when i watched it all those years ago but he wasnt a BIG FAV or anything. watching film red and the opla i think i went into it remembering he was my fav and he just stayed that way, but then i watched more and really started to like him for reasons like 1. im weak to flirtatious characters in general 2. im also weak to blonde men 😔 3. he's an asshole with a kind heart and i love a good juxtaposition 4. he just has some really cool badass moments tbh 5. and he's a LOT. i love characters that are a lot. he's loud and messy and overreactive and prissy and insecure and self sacrificing and also just SECRETLY ONE OF THE KINDEST MOST COMPASSIONATE MEMBERS OF THE CREW? notice how none of these have to do with his pervert shtick lmao

i do actually like his woman thing to an extent, i think its cute when its just him having heart eyes at every woman he sees and being weak to literally any woman who looks at him- cause that's still putting women on a pedestal, but its a fairly harmless character flaw for a fictional character to have. pre-timeskip sanji is a gift for all these reasons. and like, thats when everyone fell in love w his character i think. i MIGHT even forgive his whole "i wont hit a woman" thing bc its not like he doesnt think women shouldnt be hit in general to such an extent (i dont think he ever opposes to anyone else doing it on the crew, HE just doesnt like doing it PERSONALLY bc its his own moral principle he wont break just like the whole wont fight with his hands thing) even if the whole thing stems from the sexist belief women are lesser/weaker (esp after his backstory reveals some stuff)

but the pervert shtick? and the WRITING HIM AS TRANSPHOBIC/HOMOPHOBIC THING?? yea i literally hate that part of his character so much and wish it wasnt added. like i see how it relates to the character oda has decided sanji is but i still dont think it was needed. or okay. lol. i dont think any sanji fan actually likes this part of him. somedays i look at myself in the mirror and i'm like "am i fangirling over a more conventionally attractive bnha mineta rn" and i put on my clown makeup

but he's more than that. for all the reasons i listed above. and the BIGGEST thing that keeps me sane as a Sanji Liker (tm) is the fact that i 100% see half of his shitty character traits as something that are a product of Oda, the author, influencing his own work. im not gonna lie that canonly he still gave sanji those traits so yea like as a trans (? still working on that) GNC bisexual woman my favorite character atm is this weird little guy who's kinda chauvinistic and also canonly a homophobe (...at least, to an extent, bc apparently he has a really good relationship with iva? again, i could write an essay on just the queer rep as well) and thats a little embarrassing but. alas. i already fell in love with the character. and if you consider the writing is done by a dude who's got his own issues and just take the character for what he is...i do still rlly enjoy the idiot. and TRUST ME, i will headcanon him as a repressed bisexual who's probably GNC or a little trans or AT LEAST likes to do drag bc c'mon now. oda PUT ALL THAT IN CANON...AND EXPECTS US NOT TO PLAY WITH IT? you could make a compelling argument that he's 1000% straight and cis and kamabakka was a fluke that he resents but i think you could just as easily interpret it the other way. or just say fuck word of god i'm gonna enjoy this character the way i want (draws sanji in a dress for the millionth time bc i can and it makes me feel better. and once again HE WORE ONE IN CANON...AND WAS SMILING ABOUT IT, FOR A WHILE. IDK IDK CALL ME CRAZY) tldr; sanji is fucked but the worst parts are a product of oda himself and i like the character for other reasons and purposely try to consume him very critically for those reasons bc i do still really like him. like. hes my #1 fav character atm unfortunately. but he's nice in a lot of other ways 🥲

SORRY FOR THAT I TALKED WAYYY TOO MUCH!!!! but i enjoyed it so thanks for the opportunity :') im glad ur vibing with op and we're both enjoying this silly little show. tbh half the reason im trying to read it so fast (and why i read WCI early) is bc i was scared my hyperfixation wouldnt last long enough to finish the series BWAHAHA. here's to hoping we both get to see it end and enjoy the journey that comes with that!

[angeltism]

OH YEAH YEAH DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT i have also been doing stuff for new years I UNDERSTAND!!!

YAHOO WE ARE MUTUALS FR FR!!! yeah im really comfortable with the way we are talking rn, theres still the fear that you May be disappointed with how much i have been faking my way of speaking just to not raise suspicion (i even changed the way i keysmash good lord) but idk! its really fun this way! the hopeless romantic that im displaying is still there im just showing it way more than i usually do SHAJHSJSHS you just gave me the perfect opportunity for that hehe YEAH YEAH im reaaaally enjoying getting to know each other better before actually. knowing who i am HEJSHSJSHS kinda makes me a bit less anxious about revealing myself honestly. gotta build up that familiarity before anything else yknow, specially considering how anxious i used to feel about the idea of directly talking to you, i just always end up seeing others as. unreachable? that if i say something in their askbox they wont like me? so having anon on while talking to you has helped. a lot. unfortunately makes things a bit more complicated but its still soooo fun hehe ALSO awesome joke you got there. happy new yuri brought to you by valentin and loveletter anon! (we are barely even girls)

- 💌 anon

aah I'm so happy uu feel comfortable,, I know a lot of beings ?? seem to think I'm scary . which . thank uu but also I promise I'm silly just like the rest of uu . heart hands . and aughh I get it sometimes when I go on anon w others I change my typing style a ton . like obv no "nawt" "purrfect" "purrobably" etc bc that's a dead giveaway that tis me !!!! the fool !!!! but also like . in general other stuff too .

n honestly as long as uu aren't outright changing uurself into an 100% different being like . I don't think I'll be disappointed or anything . in the end there's a sweet romantic being behind these asks even if uur typing style is different n that's what matters !! <3 <3

and yeahh I get that . . . I used to be suuuper socially anxious around my nyeow adored mewtuals n barely able to send an ask . . . tbf I still barely send asks I just . if I want to , I can without like . dying as much as I used to lol .

but um yeah I don't mind uu being on anon fufufu,, like it's fun and we're getting to know eachother and if uur more comfortable this way I don't mind staying this way for a while y'know .

and YESSSS ty somebun who recognizes my comedic genius ehehehe . happy new yuri from both of us teehee !! 🫶

[diah-the-demon]

yeah the vibe is different </3 it now feels less like a personal chat and more like a personal chat in a public space but what else can we do when tumblr keeps being homophobic TT-TT

yeah I hope so too!! I'll bring it up to her soon as we still have Sci-fi cons which we regularly attend bcs I think that'd be cool!

and aaaw that sounds adorable!! The Sci-Fi cons that I visit always have lots of kids that age running around with their plastik lightsabers and usually clone wars masks of Anakin and Obi Wan and it's the cutest thing to watch them run around and play out their ideas

yeah she probably won't ksjdlsk it's just that we're both so used of someone bitching at us for buying even the most necessary shit so we gotta get used to that no longer happening slkjdlsk I'll probably bring it up to her soon, maybe tomorrow after uni! Hell I can even pay for it myself, I still have a lot of unused money from the past few cons since I barely bought smth aside from postcards / small prints

ksjdslk you're going to have the sickest bookshelf if that works out! and I hope it does skdjsl But yeah that sounds like a solid idea as to where to put them!!

ooh I think with the shows coming out there should definitely be a spike on tutorials for them!! Though I highly doubt there weren't some to begin with with Star Wars being such a huge franchise!! (and yeah I think that could probably be a solid start!!)

Yeah that's also always what I have noticed (it's probably also one of the most comfortable options ngl skldjsk) I think attaching them is going to be the most tricky part but I bet there are tricks to do so very easily!

yeah it feels way more out in the open, like speaking into a microphone instead of like just a casual conversation sat at a table in the corner of the room.. we could switch to discord or insta dms if we want it less open but idk, feels weird when its not on tumblr

ooo that sounds like fun! i need to try going to a sci-fi con, i know they have some in edinburgh occasionally throughout the year so il see if i can maybe go there eventually

it was!! it was so fucking fun, i remember around that age me and my sister would have lightsaber duels occasionally, too bad the sabers were bad quality so i accidently broke mine when i hit it too hard </3 thankfully it was after halloween so i still had the saber for halloween, just imagine like an 8 or 9 year old with a darth vader mask and red lightsaber walking down a dimly lit street dsjdsslkdj

i remember when i went trick or treating later that day i used my vader helmet (well its more like a mask tbh, its only the front half of vaders helmet lol) as a bucket to keep my sweets and candy in dlskjdslkjds

thats fair i cant rlly blame you or her, it will probably take a long time to get over that (i know the feeling cause my mother is like that sometimes, its so fucking annoying. she does it less to me now cause i have my own money but still)

i hope it goes well when you talk to her about it!! i doubt she wont let you buy it but wishing it goes well anyways!! if you dont do it tomorrow tho do keep in mind the sale is i think only lasting 1 more week? (or until everything sells out) so dont leave it too long slksjdlskd

IK ITS GONNA BE SO COOL, id say my bookshelf is already pretty cool because ive got 2 shelfs of books (one is mostly manga and star wars books, other is recipe books and other misc books) i could put them in 1 shelf but ive done it that way so theres space on the shelf next to the books, so i can put the helmets next to the books!! thinking about it now i can prob get 2 on the bookshelf and then the other 2 could go ontop of it maybe, idk il figure that out when i get them dsjlkds

Edit: heres a pic of said book shelf, forgot to mention the (fake) plant that hangs infront of my manga!!! skdjd Ignore the basket on the second shelf of books btw thats just where i keep my socks rn lmao (and random clothes in the shelf below too sldjslskssjk, im working on it so ignore that)

Anyways i could totally fit a helmet or 2 in here, one where the origami book is and one where the basket is, then the rest can go ontop of the bookcase idk lol

oh yeah its def gonna be trending, i saw one for storm trooper armour a few months ago, not mandalorian but tbh they are close (i mean storm trooper armour was based on the clones armour which was based on mandalorian so it is connected lmao) even if there isnt im pretty sure i could probably figure it out on my own if i had to

i think the way il have to attach it is maybe velcro? cause pins could fall out and if i try to put it back on it will be in a slightly different area probably, so what im thinking is having small velcro patches put onto the body suit and some on the armour pieces!! probably wont work out how it is in my head when i finally do it but i can atleast have ideas until then lol

[ragnvdnir]

This message is for Ein and Ein only !! 👹 Dont yall dare read this if you're not Ein 🔫

I was thinking about how your love language (receiving???) is Words of Affirmation. Yes it is me on the job to expose you ✌️😎 i wish i could dm you this instead but id be exposed 💀 you are very outgoing and outspoken but i also notice how when others compliment you or say some nice stuff that is directed to you yourself you get stunned to speak ✨ imagine Diluc simping for you like how you shamelessly simp for him 💪 you would def be stunned to speak 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️i sometimes ponder how the things we show/give to others are the things we'd like to receive too 💪

— 🍰.

EVERYONE CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DO NOT READ THIS🤬🤬

yupp! i think words of affirmation is my love language on both receiving and giving? but like i can do all the love language bc we are flexible like that😼☝️ looking forward to the day where you expose yourself 🙊🙊 i see you're back on exposing me again🧐🧐🧐

omg ajskakka i think its bc i cant accept compliments even if words of affirmation is what i want to recieve, what an irony🤓🤓🤓 (you're observant i see👀)

not at u knowing the right words to send me further to diluc everytime 😩😩 naurr bc why do i actually like the idea of diluc simping for me😳😳 i would not be to stunned to speak bc i would touch grass😿 jk but yeah you're right 😭 the woman was too stunned to speak🤩🤩 and i would be having a war inside my mind trying to calm my nerves🙉🙉

wait cuz samee😳 i thought abt those times too😳 you and me twins⁉️legit resources⁉️

i think that's a normal human nature? we treat ppl with kindness bc we want to be treated that way too. we show ppl that we love them bc deep inside we want them to notice it and love us too. i think the ppl who does this are the ppl who are passive agressive? or they are the ones who arent very vocal when it comes to what they want? they cant speak up to someone and tell them what they need bc they either might think they're a burden? silently hoping that someone can see through them. idk thoo i might be wrong in sooo many ways after all im not a professional 😭🖐️

oml why do i love talking abt things like this🤓🤓

[awsugar]

I don’t understand why some big mcr blogs slate anyone who believes gerard and frank had a thing, like our view didn’t arise from nowhere there’s clearly evidence that has led us to think this. I get disliking those who push frerard in frank and Gerard’s faces (barely anyone does this nowadays) but slating people for believing they had something in the past is kinda ridiculous imo. Franks solo music speaks volumes but if you read into it you’re demonised as a frerardie

mmmmm am i down to clown today... ok i will speak.

actually im going to put this under a cut bc my last ask was a long one and i feel like i am going to talk about this for way too long bc its 1am and im honestly a little tipsy.

note: i just finished answering this it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time and i dont think the person who asked this is even going to read it but i apparently have a lot of thoughts and no one ever wants to listen to me lol 

firstable yea actually unfortunately anytime they do a livestream, or anytime anyone SOMEHOW RELATED to them does a livestream. there are ppl in the chat talking about frerard. they both have comments off on insta now, i didnt actually read the comments that much and franks have been off for ages but im positive there were people in the comments talking about frerard. i mean fuck, franks LAST tweet he qrted someone who tagged him in the replies of a pic of The Kiss. so i mean yea its definitely not a majority but it still happens extremely frequently.

this is like. genuinely really funny to me bc im sure frank didnt see it, i think he knows enough not to look at the chat for the most part. but the moral is that its 2021 and people STILL dont know how to act. i wont go on about it but it actively enrages me anytime i watch a stream. rule one of real person fandoms is keep all that shit in your fan spaces. which is actually why i prefer tumblr. none of them are on here. actively engaging in mcr fandom on twitter is too close for comfort, especially since frank follows a handful of my friends and also like. knows me.

so like moral of my most times unavoidable wall of text is that ppl are right to be frustrated with the fans who act this way. i am extremely frustrated with them. and i think for the people who have never like tinhatted or anything, this type of behavior stands out and makes an impression and becomes the like. poster child for ppl who are like 'hmmmmm but what if.' about the frank and gerard stuff.

anyway, moving on, i think a lot of peoples hang up is that they view it as rpf. which i have a couple things to say about actually. its no secret that i have read a lot of rpf. i had never heard of fanfiction until i started getting into mcr in 2008. that was my introduction. and at the time, in that community, it was completely normal. and it was for a loooooooooong time. i knew of people who didnt read fic or felt weird about it but the majority of people i interacted with DID read fic. and on top of that, the people who didn;t were nothing like they are today. we all got along. no one was like demonizing people who did read fic. in 2012 when i think mcr tumblr was at its peak, ALL of the most popular blogs were "frerardies" (hate that term). they all talked about and recced fic and a lot of them wrote it too. everyone had a boyfriends tag. anyway when i came BACK to the mcr fandom in 2016 after a couple years away post-breakup it was still like that. people talked about fic all the time and you didnt have to like, hide it in fear of being labeled as a terrible person.

i always discussed this stuff, fic and theories, openly on this blog. for YEARS. the first time i noticed the rpf shift was 2019 tbh, when my blog was suspended and i (not related) had a mental health crisis and i spent a handful of months off tumblr, when i remade on a different blog suddenly it seemed like people were like noooo you cant talk about that. ppl who read fic are disgusting. if you think something happened between them you're homophobic. i was like honestly baffled bc i didnt know how it had seemingly changed so much in a matter of like 4 months or so. but thats the society we live in now lmao.

anyway the other thing about rpf is that i think most of these people are hypocrites. bc almost everyone makes an exception for unholyverse. theyre like ok i will dabble in the most popular fic and see what its about while still demonizing the people who read OTHER fics. like ugh.

also i have noticed its an age thing. a lot of the time. almost every mcr fan i personally interact with or know, which is a lot of people, read fic, used to read fic and just sort of grew out of it, and/or (usually and) believe something happened between them. but everyone i interact with is an adult and all of my closer friends are long time mcr fans like me. i feel like the percentage of fans who are minors who are extremely anti-rpf is way higher than the percentage of adults. and i think thats just due to the fan culture we grew up with and the fact that young people a lot of times are like..it seems very performative in an attempt to be the least problematic person that ever lived.

also random side note its really funny to keep updated with this debate on twitter. they literally yoyo there. frerard is ok on a bi-weekly basis.

anyway back to what i was originally saying which was that people view tinhatting as rpf and therefor not okay. which like idk maybe i sound crazy but i also always said this when i was in the phandom and discussing like dan and phil and whether or not they were soulmates before they came out, i don't think tinhatting is rpf. or like. idk theres a part of me that can see why people think rpf is a bad thing even though if i was famous i wouldnt care if people wrote fics about me. but like. analyzying the real life things that people have done and said in public (important). in order to try to contextualize their relationship or understand that dynamic better. well i mean first of all its not fiction. but like i do think its a lot different than writing explicit bdsm fic about them.

and i know a lot of the people on here who dont like actively participate in these conversations do like. see where we're coming from. with the frank lyrics and millions and like all of that stuff. they just dont talk about it. i mean *I* have stopped mostly talking about it at all unless its vague, due to the current climate and opinion. and sometimes we'll all have a moment of hysteria where we've all decided its ok to speak about. me right now apparently.

anyway im positive no one read all of this. i need to learn how to be brief but ive been saying that my whole life. but you're right. to me its clear that there's a bigger story behind it than frank and gerard just being buddies who were in a band together. a logical conclusion. and i wish we could just all get along again instead of people being sooooo mad about it.

[coraskeeper]

⇢ 𝗺𝗵𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘀𝗵𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗺! 𝘀/𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗸

↳ 𝗳𝘁: 𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗶, 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮, 𝗷𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘂, 𝗳𝗲𝗺! 𝗽𝗼𝗰 𝘀/𝗼

 ↳ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗻𝘀𝗳𝘄 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝗵𝗮 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝘀 𝗶𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘆 𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗯𝗱𝗲, 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳

↳ 𝘄𝗰: 𝟭.𝟱𝗸 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗽𝘀

𝐑𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐔𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚

being that she herself has a bunny quirk she instantly falls in love with you

will openly court you to let everyone else know that you’re hers

she's super open with skinship and unless you tell her you don’t like it she’ll do it no matter who’s around

intimate hugs, randomly groping you, kisses, pet names, etc.

she thinks you’re so small and cute compared to her

calls you cute nicknames like “ bunny “, “ carrot “, “ mommy’s good girl “

she likes giving you piggy back rides and likes it when you scratch her ears too

thinks its the cutest thing when you get embarrassed and you curl into yourself so innocently

just makes her want to ruin you more and more every time

loves feeding you and giving you presents bc she wants to see you well fed and happy

she rubs your ears a lot in tons of situation, if you're sad, uncomfortable, did a good job at something or even if you guys are just simply chilling doing nothing at all

when you guys first starting dating she wouldn’t touch your tail bc she didn't want to make you uncomfortable bc she knows how shy you are

now now now, the first time she found out her sensitive your tail was, oh lord

you just released the demon inside of this woman

buys you a pretty collar with rumi’s bunny written on it and a pretty bow on the back

NSFW WARNING BELOW!

“ you like it when mommy touches you here, don't cha carrot? “

this woman has a mommy kink, no other opinions are valid

loves loves loves giving you hickeys all over

rubs your ears after you come down from hard orgasms

loves to softly degrade you too

“ look at this slutty hole, dripping for me “  

“ look at you, spreading yourself for me waiting for me to breed you like the pretty slut you are “

breeding kink, i said what I said

rubs your tail when she pegs you from behind bc she knows how much you like it when she does

“ look at you taking my cock like the obedient little breeding bitch you are “

rumi calling you a breeding bitch i-  

her favorite is doggy style with your hands tied behind your back while she rails you from behind while she pulls on your collar

will s p a n k you and makes you count too

literally humps you like a bunny in heat

she won't require you to pleasure her back bc she just wants to take care of you but if you do she’ll praise you the whole time

let her roughly fuck your face while your in nothing but some skimpy white lingerie you can see your brown nipples through, a collar, and some thigh highs

has SO much stamina

also likes good ol missionary with your knees pressed into your chest while cry and drool for her

“ that’s right, cum for me bunny “

loves making you ride her face or 69ing with you on top, she knows your shy and your embarrassed and vulgar expressions make it soooo much more watching you writhe in pleasure for her

will make you ride her, and won't help you at all bc she's a big meanie and she loves to watch you struggle to impale yourself on her fake cock while you gush all over her thighs

if you try and ride her and she thinks you’re going to slow, she’ll fuck you with the powerful pretty ass legs and ruin you from under you

she’s so rough with you and leaves bruises everywhere but she’s never so rough to the point she hurts you

when you cum she rubs your ears and tells you how good you did

“ that’s my good girl “ ugh

will clean you up and carry you around everywhere, gives you her clothes to sleep in

if you fall asleep right after your bath, shell dress you, put on your bonnet for you, and make you something to eat while you rest

i will let this woman destroy me pls i got so carried away I-

𝐉𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐤𝐚

she literally adores your cute ass floppy ears

literally takes pictures of your ears and tails and face and shows everyone and adores it when you get embarrassed

she’s so sweet to you just buys you any and everything

writes you cute ass songs

bc you’re so shy she’s always going to ask before she touches you

consent consent consent

when you get uncomfortable around a large group of people and she sees your ears lay flat on top of your head, will subtly pull you aside to a quiet place

calls you things like “ my muse “ or “ darling “

she understands that you don’t like loud things bc of how sensitive your ears are being that she herself has sensitive ears too bc of her quirk

when you can’t sleep or have nightmares she’ll sing to you and gently scratch behind your ears

studies up on your anatomy bc she wants to know as much about you as possible

will teach you how to play her acoustic guitar bc she knows it won’t be too loud for your sensitive ears

she loves how your ears just sit perfectly in the middle of your curls you just look so pretty

she likes it when you wear bright colors that contrast her own wardrobe

NSFW WARNING BELOW!!

she might seem like she’s pretty chill but in bed i believe that kyoka is a mean ass lazy dom

she makes you work for your orgasms and she will edge and punish you

“ go faster or you wont get to cum at all “

she likes watching you desperately grind your sweet cunt onto her thigh or against her own arousal

likes to eat you out from behind or play with your cunt in front of a mirror

she lovesssss playing with your brown nipples and if you’re insecure about them she will casually take time out of her day just to appreciate them

shower sex shower sex shower sexxxxx

likes seeing you all wet and the water falling off your body just turns her on

mirror sex with jirou ugh

she loves spreading you open in front of a mirror and lazily fingering you until your crying and dripping all over you, her, and the bedsheets from the overstim

“ don’t be a crybaby, you can take more can't you, darling? “

she tugging on your tail when you cum bc she knows how sensitive it is and she loves hearing you moan loud for her but will be so mean to you about it

“ shut your mouth “

will smack your cute ass while she ruthlessly grinds into you and calls you names

“ you want everyone to hear how loud you are don't you slut “

will edge you until you cry and won't let you cum until there are tears streaming down your face and your begging her for release

“ only good girls get to cum, not selfish sluts “

she will probably call you names when you cum too lol

after care is 10/10 tho

she makes it up to you for being mean and buys you ice cream after she bathes you

sings to you and gives you snacks and ear rubs

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐨

she is a very sociable person, she loves to interact with others and make friends while you on the other hand are super introverted and stays to yourself

everyone is surprised when you too start to go out bc you are polar opposites

will never shut up about you after that

“ yeah, that cute lil bunny over there.. that's my girlfriend “

calls you things like “ babe “, “ bun “, and “ love “

shows everyone cute pictures of you she took off guard and rubs your ears when you get mad at her for embarrassing you  

she wont do anything you dont like and will always ask what your comfortable with and is constantly asking if you're too overwhelmed when your out somewhere

she loves your quirk and she thinks its so cute

she will buy you cute skirts and cuts hole out of the back of them just to see your cute little tail pop out the back

will hold your hand no matter where you are so you don't get lost or feel too uncomfortable

she hates when your sad or feeling insecure and uncomfortable around others bc your ears droop on top of your head and she hates how lifeless they look

she likes buying you cute ribbons to tie around the base of your ears

matching pjs and disney movies anyone?

likes seeing you in frilly pink things and pretty chokers

she's a people pleaser so anything you want, if it's in her ability to give it to you trust me you’ll have it

NSFW WARNING BELOW!!

she isn't mean to you as your dom bUT she is SO unashamedly vulgar

she will say the nastiest things to you with an innocent smile on her face while she wrecks you

“ look at how your pussy just clenches for me, how cute “  

likes to make you look when she plays with you

the biggest tease

“ don't be embarrassed love, i love when your pussy sucks my fingers and tongue in like that “

it is her mission to make you squirt every single time you have sex

likes to make you eat her out on your knees while you play with yourself under her

she is a BITER she loves to bite you everywhere

tugs on your ears when she fucks your face and calls you a good bunny when you make her cum

“ look at my good girl, you look so pretty with my cum all over your face, love “

please wear thigh highs and garters for her, she will worship you

loves the inside of your mouth, she’ll stick her fingers in your mouth and then make you talk to her while she fingers the hell out of you

“ aw bun, look at how stupid im fucking you “

toys toys toys!!

loves using all types of vibrators on you

she isn't as mean to where she'd edge you, she hates not giving you what you want but she will always overstim you

“ look love, you came so much the bed is soaking “

“ look at the mess your gushing cunt made “

she will embarrass you any chance she gets

she also likes mutual masturbation

watching you get off to watching her get off? i think tf yeah

sits you on her lap so she can fucking you with the vibrator on the highest setting while playing with your tail

will have a normal conversation with you like she’s not literally ruining your insides and will tease you when you cant respond to her without moaning and whimpering

“ what was that babe? I can't understand anything you're saying, speak up “ 

loves seeing your ears and nose twitch when you cum

cuddles you and runs a warm bath for you both

gives you soft massages bc she knows how sore you’ll be afterwards

puts on your matching bonnets and makes you breakfast the next morning

aftercare queen yess

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP���,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[cloudy-dayys]

obsessed w ur clef headcanons. do u have any more u can share? (luv ur art btw <333)

i would kill everyone on this planet for you and then myself tysm 💙💙

more clef headcanons (i will not be referencing 4231 in any of my clef posts just because that is very triggering for me, instead im gonna say he and 166's mom met one day when clef was in his late 20s, shit happened (ya know, they fucked), and boom he had to go and kill her and take 166)

#

· he was never really a child or teen, he was just a monster that happened to break into the foundation's reality one day (i say this bc i cant really imagine him as a child or teen, he's more monster than human and we may never know if he was a normal human that adopted these powers or came from smth else)

· he is both a reality bender and anchor, more so using his bending powers more

· he has many forms, whether the 'human' one is his true one or not is still a mystery, seeing as those he may not be showing his true capabilities or if he has another twisted form that is a lot more powerful

· he may be a rival of kondraki and they hate each other's guts, but he still respects him a lot. clef even met draven (kondraki's son) and admires how konny is a good dad, so he only gives kondraki a hard time and doesn't actually dislike him (clef 🤝 kondraki: good dads and clef finds it cute)

· more than anything, he wants to take meri out on a dad and daughter day. go to the movies, the mall, buy her anything she likes, etcetc. he thinks she deserves to be spoiled rotten (and she does!!)

· but he really dislikes how his daughter is super christian, so if she ever finds out he may be the devil or even states he could be anything satanic or sinful, it wont be pretty on her side

· his face isnt that comprehendible until u personally get closer to him. if ur a complete stranger to him, its impossible to directly look at his face without some sort of problem. it'll seem like static or as if nothing is there, and itll make u want to look away since its too much for ur brain to handle (can make people have headaches or their eyes sore). if ur a pal or a well known enemy of his, you'll see some features like his sharp and terrifying grin, and sometimes his 3rd eye (which will make anybody be in distress)

· he, surprisingly, has a great voice. what makes up for his lack of face or any horrifying features is his voice. sometimes you'll hear him hum a melody or quietly sing a song in his office, he sings more calming songs than anything energetic. if ur lucky enough he'll hop his ukulele out and start singing a wonderful and peaceful song

· he loves guns, but not in a weird way. back to my first headcanon, once he entered this reality and had a somewhat stable form, the minute he found out theres metal shiny things you can hold that make loud kaboom sounds and have many varieties hes like "holy shit!?!? that is so cool!!!!!!!" and its really his comfort item. he usually goes to any open range and practices bc it is a great distraction and he loves holdin em (like a stim!). he cleans em regularly, like a hobby of some sorts

· he's made his own songs before, but he keeps em in private. he may sing em for his daughter though!

· hes more in touch with anomalous beings then regular humans, cause every anomaly thats been locked up by the foundation can relate on something

· "hm. this small anomalous child has no (good) parental figure in their life? well that is clearly my child now. i am their new dad"

· he is very intelligent, you can never prank, trick, or pull any game on him. he can read gestures and cues very easily, and can pick up any weird vibes or feelins within his area

· hes definitely an anarchist, i dont make the rules

· he sometimes wishes he can live a normal life ina suburb home with an amazing s/o and his beautiful daughter and they live happily ever after. then he proceeds with "well where the hell is the fun in that?"

· he has yet to comprehend human emotions, mental illnesses or neurodivergency, he may be able to trick and mess with someone in their head, but being able to fully comprehend human feelings and such is far out of his abilities. maybe one day though

· mess with his friends or family? hes already at ur house bud. there's no saving ur miserable life now

· the infamous 'dr clef can't be affected by anomalous things or properties' still holds very true. he can be affected by 166's powers tho!

· he speaks 4-ish other languages: old greek/latin, german and french. he can gladly try and take up more languages tho, they amaze him!

#

i have more but i dont want to make this too long and borin for others lol

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[imagineurfavs]

Super Junior - Donghae A-Z

“Could you do an A-Z for SUJU’s donghae please?? I loved the eunhyuk one!! (≧∀≦)” “I requests a a-z for donghae, full of smut and sweethae” “Super Junior - Donghae A-Z!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASEEEE”

A/N Im sorry this tooks so long lads, i hope yall like it 💕💕

----------

A - Aftercare Don’t think it’s something he’d really think about ngl. He just wants to go straight to cuddling with you, the last think on his mind get showering or anything lol. Unless its a romantic bubble bath, then he might be down.

B - Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner) On himself, i think he’d like his mouth. He sees how good he can make you feel with just his mouth, he can’t help but favour it lol. On his partner, he likes their stomach, the soft skin is his favourite place to pepper a load of lil kisses

C - Cum He favours cumming inside you, it just has that extra intimacy factor that he loves. But if not that then he loves to cum on your stomach, he just thinks it looks so pretty.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) He uses any kind of voice note or voicemails you send him to help him get off whenever he’s jacking it lol. Even if you're speaking about the most mundane shit, he just finds your voice so attractive, you could read the dictionary cover to cover and he’d bust several nuts lmao

E - Experience Some...not a crazy amount, but some. He’s just super shy and he really has to have a deep connection with someone to wanna sleep with them. But he is in his 30′s so like, he’s obviously got a bit lol

F - Favourite Position Anything where you’re on top of him lol, he loves seeing you take charge and lead the way. You just look so hot with an ego boost lmao

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc) He’s somewhere in the middle. He takes it quite seriously but he just can’t contain the happiness he feels either. But he also gets quite shy about the whole ordeal, even though he’s no stranger to sex it’s just something that makes him kinda blushy and embarrassed.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they) Don’t really think he pays it too much mind tbh, he wont let it get crazy but it’s just not something he’s really bothered about

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect) He’s a total romantic. He wouldn't even think about sleeping with someone he wasn't totally enamoured with, so its safe to say that intimacy carries over into the bedroom. A lot of deep eye contact, hand holding and whispered words of love.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation) Pretty often, he’s just very easily riled up lmao. He’s probably the type to just jack off in a public bathroom if he really had to.

K - Kinks (one of more of their kinks) Praise praise praise. He loves being told how well he’s doing, how no one can make you feel how he does etc. It’s not a constant thing, but he definitely has some submissive tenancies too. He just likes being lead and taught and maybe teased/punished a lil bit if he acts up

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do) 9 times out of 10, he likes to keep it in the bedroom purely for sake of familiarity lmao. Other than that, he really enjoys the shower, its like, the tiniest bit naughty but private enough as to where he doesn’t feel totally out of his comfort zone

M - Motivation (What turns them on) Literally just say anything even slightly sexual to him and he’ll be raring to go. Hearing someone speaking so frankly about sex just makes his brain log out and go right to his dick lol. 

N - NO (something they won't do, turn offs) Nothing that involves other people, he just gets too shy lmao. He wants to keep his sex life very private. I dont think he’d be into anything involving a substantial amount of pain either, a bit of biting/spanking is okay, but anything more than that weirds him out 

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Receiving, he just totally melts. He’ll keep a hand on you, constantly stroking your hair, grabbing it a little tighter the closer he gets to finishing. When giving, he’s a total sweetheart. Full of soft little movements, always looking up at you to get a gauge of how well he’s doing, 

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc) It’s always different. Usually he’s on the slower side, very deep, fluid rolls of his hips. But if he’s particularly needy, he can get super fast and sharp with his thrusts.

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc) They’re a pretty regular occurrence just bc of how needy he can get lmao. He thinks they're super fun lmao

R - Risk (are they down to experiment, do they take risks?) Surprisingly, I feel like he would be down to experiment, to a certain extent. Just bc he has a lot of curiosity to do with sex, yknow? He wants to try all there is to try. But with that being said, if he doesn’t like something, he’ll just straight up stop midway lmao

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last? etc) He doesn’t last all that long but you’ll probably be able to get a couple rounds out of him before he totally clocks out lol

T - Toy (do they own toys do they use them on a partner or on themselves?) He’s definitely open to using toys, but it’s something you’ll have to bring up bc its not something he’s really familiar with. Lowkey, I think he’d rather have toys used on him than vice versa. Please tie up his wrists and he’ll just turn into a whiny mess lmao it’s very cute.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease) He’s really not much of a tease at all, at least not intentionally. He’ll get carried away with small little gestures and movements to the point where you’d probably end up getting frustrated lmao, but the second he starts seeing you get even the smallest bit impatient, he’ll get right too it lol

V - Volume (how loud are they, what type of sounds they make) On the quieter side, mainly little whimpers and sighs, cute cute cute

W - Wild Card (a random headcannon) Now, I dont think Donghae is an outright sub, but he definitely enjoys being put in his place some times. I also get the feeling that he’s super into role play lmao. Something like CEO/Assistant (with you being the ceo obviously lmao) or something where you can really take charge over him. He just gets so turned on seeing you have all the power over him. He secretly enjoys getting lowkey punished so dont be surprised if he uses these scenarios as an excuse to act out a little bit. 

X - X-ray (what's going on inside those pants) Pretty much average, super pretty n pink too oop

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive) Pretty high, just bc I feel like he’s quite easily turned on lmao he’s pretty much always ready to go

Z - Zzz... (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He’ll sleep, but he’ll wait until you get comfortable and start to drift off before he even thinks about sleeping

[littlebigafterdark]

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

[megatraven]

you know i had do it ya... all of them. all of the watercolors

DSFRGTREDFR i appreciate u so much....... (wont re-answer th ones ive already answered tho)

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

alex. is anyone surprised? probably not. alex is the biggest source of happiness for me at the moment bc i love them so much and think of them so often vuv

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song?

god is a woman by arianna grande!!!!! love it

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

i hope it counts if it’s a fictional band bc Julie and the Phantoms own my ears rn

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

in my little apartment, in my bed with bunches of blankets and stuffed animals and snacks vuv

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home?

i don’t know! i’ve never really thought about it, and thinking about it now, i can’t pick out just one person. any of my friends, i guess!

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

i don’t have just one closest friend, i have a few. but my relationship with them is nice, we’ve made good strides to setting healthy boundaries, i think, and we can talk to each other about anything! :D

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

rest and relax, watch a show or maybe just turn on some music while I play lovestruck or lovelink, play some pokemon, and either write or draw! i also really like to nap, especially since i often wake up early on my days off, and most of my friends aren’t online yet. helps me skip to when they Are online

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

oh, i have many people who would be very supportive, i know. it’s not a matter of having someone for me, though. i just don’t know how to bring it up to them, so i usually just keep quiet about it whenever i am :’)

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings?

relaxing evenings, i think. slow mornings tend to frustrate me a little, but relaxing evenings are perfect

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything?

julie! and! the! phantoms!!!!! i mean i already bingewatched it but i keep rewatching it like all at once, that counts right???

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

right-brained B)

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it?

there are many, but i can’t think of any names or artist right now :^)

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

tiger tiger tiger tiger t-

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent?

right now? greek!

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other?

not really! just. girl or nb, i guess lol

scarlet; describe your current crush/es.

i guess i’m still nursing a crush from a couple years ago, though it’s much smaller now since we don’t talk as much but ummm she’s really sweet and funny, and endlessly kind it feels like. she’s so creative and smart and i love how passionate she gets <3 she’s a really good friend, too, and i really appreciate having her in my life in any amount :D

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like?

some cute little cafe-type place, MAYBE with some light hand holding, as we talk about whatever comes to mind, be it fandoms, our lives, etc.

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

just hanging out in the living room or bedroom, really. i don’t care much for going out, but if we went out anywhere at all, it would be lovely to walk down the street after a nice autumn rain vwv

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

no, and i don’t think i will ever really want to kiss anyone, thinking of being kissed kind of squicks me out. unless it’s a kiss on the cheek or hand or something, then that would be okay :)

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now?

oh hm..... well, at work, my coworker has been really nice about letting me play christmas music on the radio all day :) it drives him nuts, but he keeps turning it on for me because he knows i like it a lot. it’s really sweet. it’s not a huge gesture, but it means a lot to me!

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to?

the day that i finally adopt a cat! i’ve been sitting on it since around april but i just keep waiting. the day i do it, though..... i can’t wait!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like?

small house near the base of a mountain. neighbors not too far away, but not too close. i have a big yard, and a great view of the mountains i nthe area, and lots of trees. inside and nice and homey, soft yellows with accents of white paint the walls inside and out, and it’s filled to the brim with little knickknacks and things i’ve collected over the years

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down?

right now my heart is set on colorado because the mountains there were gorgeous.... i’d settle for anywhere close to some mountains though

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

i’d like to travel a little, visit some of the friends i’ve made, really do something good for the world before i settle

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

the rocky mountains!

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

i’m in a good mood right now! just getting to talk to my friends while i eat dinner and enjoy the things i love is a pretty good recipe for a good mood!

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

i.... hmm. im having a hard time remembering any recent dreams. i had to go look into one of my chats for the last time i mentioned one- i had a dream where i was talking and became friends with Mr Fruit, a youtuber i’ve gotten really into watching recently :)

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

honestly just me, a spouse, maybe a kid that we adopted (Maybe!!!!), and a LOT of pets. cats and dogs, at least one snake, some rats........

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

i’m okay with my name, though i think i’m starting to really prefer meg over megan. if i could give myself a different name w no judgement on what it would be, i think i definitely would tho

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

vanilla cupcake candles <3

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

i don’t have a favorite!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

tiger lilies <3

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

ABSOLUTELY

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

cute. soft. mine.

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

i hear the sound of birds and crickets, and a babbling brook off in the distance. i see flowers that don’t typically grow together doing so for me, shifting lightly in the wind. a few critters bounce over the flowers from time to time- fox kits, rabbits. everything’s at peace.

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

hmm. yes and no? i think a lot of things for me would improve if i could just work up the courage to come out irl. even if i didn’t get the responses i would want.

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

france, cyprus, japan. i think the one i would like to visit most is cyprus :) i don’t have plans for the other two, just dreams vwv

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

not yet! but i’d love to learn french and greek and tagalog!

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

where the red fern grows

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far?

not any books, but i’ve been meaning to start reading cinder!

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

ratatouille vuv

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

eat dinner and drink water :) (im doing both rn)

umber; have you drank enough water today?

i think i’ve drank 2 bottles. not as much as normal, but i plan to drink more!

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

my scro friends :) (thats th name of our gc lol) there’s three other people in there and that’s typically where i go to vent if i have to. them, or my MLF friends. both groups always have my back and i adore them 

sepia; name five things that always make you happy.

alex, food, blankets, talking to friends, buying stuffed animals

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received?

one of my coworkers once told me that he can see the passion that i have for art, and i don’t think anyone has ever told me that they can see it before. it meant a lot and i hold it close to my heart now :)

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

this is too hard my aesthetic is too broad ;( here’s my aesthetic tag tho

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful!

im eating fried chicken rn so i will not take a new pic. instead, have this older selfie from 4 months ago!