#im getting emotional againnnn

[freakinhorse123]

The shitstain squad are genuinely some of my favourite people around. They’re the first people i tell when something happens in my life. Theyre some of the best friends i have. I would give up any chance of meeting any famous person in the world ever just to have one hour with all of us in a room together. Fuck i’d give up anything just to give each of them a hug. I fucking love day, lyra, saj, bones, terri, fish and i miss match with all my heart :).

[flickerlikeaflame]

Quitting vaping is such a painnn it's so so not worth it in like anyway ugh why did i start againnnn I'm so sick and tired of my lungs feeling like this 😭 I've quit before but it never seems to last more than a few months but every single time I feel so much better while im not smoking. The first week with no nic is just so horrible it's almost impossible to get past I turn into such a bitch and my emotions go up and down faster than the fucking stock market

[maxlarens]

Hi againnnn

I asked earlier how you found lando easy to write

Girl I cannot begin to express how much your insight is saving me rn I’m super new to f1 and I haven’t rlly been too active in trying to watch races live so your reactions afterward help me understand stuff better💕💕

I legit woke up in time to follow the updates on twitter for the last ten laps 😳 it was so crazy watching the ranks and just going through like ten thousand emotions waiting for lando to give up the spot I was so worried he’d be an ass and not give it up but then immediately was so excited for Oscar and yet so sad idk😔😔

I’ve yet to watch any post race interviews and stuff so if you can recommend certain things that’d be great

Also just had to let you know that I love the gifs you reblog😩😩 Oscar is so real when he says the trophy is pretty cuz if I was an f1 driver Hungary would be top goal just to get those trophies and his reaction is so real you can just see it on his face even tho he’s not saying much I think you might be slowly converting me into an Oscar phase🙈

Can I be 🤩anon pls (rlly hoping thats not taken😭)

hiiiiii!!!! of course u can be 🤩 anon!!! the emojis i have taken so far are 🍓 🏏 and 🧃 !

anyway TBH i only got into f1 at the beginning of the year, and only properly after the japan race i believe. so it’s all coming out my ass a bit😭 i pick the right language up fairly quickly so i feel like my knowledge sounds more impressive than it actually is. but thank u anyway!!! i read opinions on here and f1 articles so it’s coming from somewhere legitimate at least.

and re: post race interviews i generally wait for them to pop up on the dash organically or even instagram. they make me stressed out so i don’t seek them out. as for some good sources of information definitely the formula 1 app. i follow a bunch of accounts on ig like racing news (i would take them with a grain of salt. it good to see which rumours are out there but unless something is 100% confirmed/announced i don’t trust it), thef1girlies, maniaonboard, fanbehaviourf1pod and dishdoesf1! i follow just a ton of accounts and even if they’re not totally reliable its just information to sift through at least.

i also talk to my fiancé about things occasionally because he knows a lot more about racing than i do and doesn’t care for f1 pretty much so it’s an impartial opinion for sure.

god and yeah the race made me sooo stressed. i’m frustrated but overall feeling good about oscar’s win. im looking forward to how mclaren and the boys handle everything and also their races for the rest of the season. i hope this is a constructive thing for them all.

🤭 oh and yay the oscar agenda is SPREADING!!!! i’m so happy for him and i’m glad it wasn’t totally soured by mclarens fuck up. he deserved it, i’m sure he knows that.

[lilium-in-blue]

Teared up over a cat from tiktok today 🥲

[suguruverse]

hey!! i love your best friends hcs, and i was wondering if you could do one with bokuto and akaashi (or fukurodani in general) :) tysm

— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH BOKUTO AND AKAASHI

includes - bokuto koutaro and akaashi keiji

a/n - my two fav boys!! hope you enjoy this bby <33

- you guys are just never apart?? like no one has ever seen one of you guys without seeing the other two

- you guys either met because you were in akaashi’s class and he asked you to be bokuto’s tutor because akaashi was busy or you’re the vbc manager

- and after spending so much time with them, you ended up developing certain aspects of both their personalities

- i feels like bokuto and akaashi and both the types of people to blow their money on you and you always complain about them saving money, but they never listen to you

- they both think that you deserve the world and more for dealing with them

- bokuto is extremely spontaneous, so there is no doubt that he won’t call you and akaashi to go on an adventure at 2am

- the group hugs are immaculate 

- honestly most of the friendship is just you and akaashi babysitting bokuto

- THEY LOVE YOUR SMILE AND ALWAYS SAY THAT YOU HAVE A SMILE OF AN ANGEL FKEBFKEJ <33

- will do everything and anything just for you to keep smiling

- they will defend you to the death

- there is no way they allow anyone to talk down on you

- if you ever ask them to bring to do something for you, they will do it, no questions asked

- if you have periods, then akaashi is your man

- he has pads, tampons, painkillers, heat pads, basically anything you need in his bag AND his locker

- bokuto isn’t too sure but he does know that you’re in a lot of pain and that you always want affection, so he will drop everything and anything to get something you need

- you guys have matching bracelets, yk the one with the beads, yup and bokuto made it for you for your ‘1 year friendiversary’

- they are definitely the emotional support over logical solution type of guys

- they just wanna see you happy always

- personal space? no, just no.

- bokuto HAS to be touching you in some type of way

- whether it’s hugging you, holding your hand or even latching onto your sleeve or shirt

- BOKUTO LITERALLY WHINES WHENEVER HE’S WITHOUT YOU OR AKAASHI

- EVEN WORSE WHEN HE’S NOT WITH EITHER OF YOU

- that’s why you guys facetime every night and fall asleep on call

- bokuto also just holds onto you out of nowhere and at really random places, while akaashi just looks at you guys, kinda wanting to join in

- one look at your face and they can somehow tell everything about your emotional state

- one time akaashi just walked up to you out of nowhere, handed you your fav candy, drinks and tissues, hugged you and just said:

“y/n, it’s okay, i’m so damn proud of you okay? it’s okay to cry sometimes”

- did you cry for the next two hours? obviously. did he complain that his shirt was now covered in tears and snot? of course not.

- bokuto saw your red-shot eyes and immediately started complaining about why you didn’t come to him for comfort as well

- IDC WHAT YALL SAY, CUDDLING WITH BOKUAKA??? PERFECTION

- you may not be able to breathe with bokuto squeezing you, but yk, he’s warm, so you aren’t complaining

- bokuto literally has no boundries with you

- he will follow you to the bathroom so he can continue with his story, will strip in front of you etc.

- and he will find no problem with that

- they will show you off no problem

- having conversations with someone in their class? the are constantly bringing you up

- pls if you have a competition of any sort, they are front row cheering you on

- if you’re interested in someone, they’re supportive (kinda)

- bokuto will grab onto your shirt and then hug you as tight as he can because he doesn’t want to lose one of his best friends

- they do daily check ins to make sure you’re eating and drinking water

- bokuto tries to do pranks on you but you always catch on and go with it, but once you did this and he got scared because he thought you actually believed him

- akaashi once called you ‘darling’ as a dare, but you loved it so much, that he cals you that on the daily now

- bokuto 100% shows his love and appreciation for you through physical touch and words of affirmation

- akaashi is more of a quality time, acts of service kinda guy

gc name: y/n’s sexy bodyguards

bokuto: Y/N WHERE ARE YOU, ME AND ‘KAASHI ARE AT THE GATES, HURRY UP I MISS YOU <333

akaashi: yes y/n hurry, bokuto-san is going to actually going to start crying on my shoulder

bokuto: ‘KAASHI NO IM NOT, STOP LYING IN FRONT OF Y/N

bokuto: y/n pls hurry baby, you already know movie night starts at 6 :(( where are you :((

bokuto: miss you already pls reply :(

bokuto: if ur mad at me or ‘kaashi just tell us 

bokuto: why aren’t you replying baby???????? :((((

akaashi: calm down, she probably got caught up doing something for a teacher

akaashi: but yes darling, please hurry, you should know that movie night starts at 6 and its already 5:30

you: MY BABIESSS :((( M SORRY, yumekawa-san wanted to talk to me about something

akaashi: from the basketball team? what did he need you for?

bokuto: HEY HEY ‘KAASHI, WHOS THAT

you: oh well... he asked me out :))

akaashi: oh.. wait what

bokuto: WHO DID, WHO DID, NOOOOO Y/N DON’T LEAVE DON’T LEAVE, ILL BE YOUR BOYFRIEND JUST DON’T LEAVE ME AND ‘KAASHI ALONE

akaashi: bokuto-san calm down, if she said yes, that’s her business. they’re very beautiful, sweet, kind and helpful. it’s no wonder way yumekawa-san asked them out

bokuto: ‘KAASHI I ALREADY KNOW THEY’RE ALL THOSE THINGS BUT I STILL DON’T LIKE IT. THEY’RE MINE

bokuto: y/n, y/n, do you like him back? :(((

you: of course not kou!! i rejected him so there’s no need to worry

akaashi: oh thank god

you: huh???

akaashi: nothing

bokuto: YAY YAY YAY, Y/N I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU, DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT EVER AGAINNNN :((

you: i know, i’m sorry kou, i’m on my way to you guys right now!!

bokuto: OK OK SEE YOU SOOM MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH <33

you: mwah mwah see you soon my love

akaashi: stay safe darling

bokuto: kiss :(

akaashi: mwah mwah 

bokuto: :)) thank you ‘kaashi

akaashi: no worries, bokuto-san

[violetnotez]

Haaaaiiii! I don't know if you've done this before, but can you do a headcanon with Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kaminari (separately) dating a slim thicc reader who's waaaaay to kind to everyone for her own good? Sorry if that was specific lol. It just suits my life.

HC: Slim Thicc + Overly Nice Reader | BNHA

Music Genre: Pop | BNHA

Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki

Warnings: cursing, suggestive content

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shop Owner Note: The fuq how did you describe me in four words lmaoooo-I really liked this idea alot!!!!! Also I only did Bakugo, Izuku and Shoto caus emy brain got fried, so hope thats okay!

Midoriya

THIS GIF ISNT APART OF THE HC AT ALL I JUST FOUND IT AND NOW IM FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAYYYY😳😳

Midoriya most definitely drink his respect women juice

He was raised by his mother after all

BUT

doesnt mean the boy cant be a little perverted-

He just loves your body!!!!!

How can he NOT love everything about it, from the way your school tights slightly squeeze your thighs to the point where he feel like he cant breath

Or when you wear his shirts and its tighter around the chest and flowy around you waist

Mmmmmm lets not forget your hero suit- this man would probably kiss the shoes of the person who made your suit

Cause DAMN they really made it as tight as possible and he just loves it sm

Lets be real this dude has probably popped a boner by accident just thinking about your hero suit 😶

ANYWAYS 💀💀💀💀

He is very much respectful about you and keeps his raging hormones horniness to himself

He is ALWAYS making sure you feel comfortable in your relationship, whether its from holding hands to cuddling, he will always make sure you give your consent

Now, when it comes to your kindness, this is something Midoriya probably loves the most about you

But he does find it really concerning when he notices you say “yes” to everything somebody asks you to do for them

And running yourself down, not looking as energetic as yourself

He is very observant, so he notices little things that signal you are little overwhelmed 

Like your clothes arent as perfectly ironed as they used to be, you seem to be forgetting your own things while remembering to bring everybody else’s, your smile seems strained, and you just look stressed

He is so incredibly empathetic- it pains him to his s/o look so distraught 

It does anger him a bit that these people can so easily take advantage of you, and not even care that you arent feeling your best because of what they asked of you

But he swallows down the anger, offering to help you with whatever you need at your dorm room

He tries to make it as stress free as he possibly can, bringing your favorite snacks and playlist of music to calm your mind

But at some point hed give you a very gentle talk,,,,

He knows you havent been feeling too great, whether you deny it or not, and he wants you to know that its perfectly okay to not say “yes” to every person

He knows you mean well and you want to help everyone out of the generosity of your heart, and he loves that about you

But you as a person are important, and you come first over anyone

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Bakugo

Like Midoriya, just LOVES your body

Like cmon, how can he NOT

Dude is a ass+boob man change ma mind 

At first he deifnitely denies it-

Him??? Stare at your ass??? Pshh he was looking at the oven baka, if anything your ass was blocking his view-

You would know you caught him red handed cause he face would get redder than Momo’s hero suit and he would actually stutter—-

Which would make him extrmeely annoyed and he’d be cussing a storm+be in a grumpy mood for an hour or two

But once you two get more comfortable in your relationship-

NO HOLDING BACK

He will have use every opportunity to just be meannnn

And by mean

I mean turn slapping your ass into some sick game

Like if you dont yelp and cuss him out whats the point?

Once he slapped you so hard he legit left his big ass hand print on your butt cheek and you were about to slap his smug ass back....

But off a 50ft building  🙃

Also a big softie too

Like when you to cuddle he loves cuddling into your chest 🥺🥺

To him it’s just so comfyyyyyyyyyy

Honestly, Bakugo can’t understand at all how you can be so nice to people

It confuses him???? But he finds it really....nice???

Like half the stuff you do for people Bakugo wouldn’t ever dream of doing

He knows he’d either give that person an intimidating, dirty look or just laugh at them, cause yeah right he’d waste his time with their stupid problems

Ouchhhhhhhh

But you are totally different than him-you had a lot more patience and sympathy than he had, always coming to everyone’s rescue it seemed like

He finds it attractive and to him, it confuses the hell out of him how he does

But what bothers him is how much time you spend away from him

He won’t ever admit it, but he feels lonely when you’re not around

And what’s even worse-is by the time you do hang out with him, your too tired to even properly pay attention to him after running around and doing everything for everyone else

Bakugo the Attention Whore

One day this dude would have enough, as he’s been getting the bad end of the stick for a good couple of weeks——

He just barges into were ever your at, and doesn’t give to shits what so everrrrr

Bakugo has one mission in mind: getting his s/o back

Wouldn’t acknowledge anyone but you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you out of the room even if your protesting with him

“The hell are you doing Bakugo, let go-“

“No 😠”

“Pleaseeeeeee I was in the middle of working on something-“

“I said NO 😠😠😠”

Angry Pomeranian Activated

Once stop dragging you until he locks you in his room, forcing you to hear him out

He HATES being emotional or open, but at that, he starts spilling his guts through gritted teeth and choppy sentences,,

Saying that you waste too much time in thise “extras”, that they don’t deserve as much time as you give them, and that you have more “important” things than do all their work for them

*cough cough him being the more important thing

But hoenstly, you feel a little bad for him,,,,,

So you compromise with him and promise you’ll spend more time on him

He’s pretty happy with that,

but now he takes it one step further to make sure you deifnitely have enough time to hang out with him

If he’s around when someone asks you for help, he’ll cut them off and lie straight theough his teeth, saying you two have a “date” and squeezing you close to him with an iron grip

“Wait-Bakugo-we didnt have a date planned-“

“Tsch, now we do-“

Shoto Todoroki

I have said this timeeee and timeeee againnnn

But Shoto really is the definition of innocence

So really, it wouldn’t ever dawn on him on how killer his s/o’s body is

He’s just kinda like....yeah I know they have a butt and chest? Doesn’t everyone?😶

This poor Boi someone help him

It only really sets it after a few months of being together that he’s actually really, really in love with your body

Like how did he never notice how good you look in leggings?

Or how soft and comfortable your chest is?

And why does he want you to squeeze him with your thighs? 😳

Hormones are ragingggggg

And also veryyyyyyyy protective over you

Shoto is very observant and quiet in social situations, usually opting to check out his surroundings instead of trying to be sociable

So he’ll catch from time to time classmates commenting on you and your figure, and it never sits very well with him

At first when these incidences happened he was very conflicted, not understanding this intense jealousy and need to protect you

But after a while of contemplating his feelings, he understood it was because he was protective of you

And ohohoohohoh

This man is PROTECTIVE

He does little things you would never reallly notice until you actually do

Like when he takes you home after hanging out or a date, he lingers a little longer outside your door to make sure you’re inside safely

Or when you’re walking together he will make sure your walking inside the street and away from the cars

Also has a tendency to grab your waist or your hand when a group of men come your way

He just gets paranoid okay 🥺🥺🥺

And because he’s so protective, he doesn’t practically like that you’re being taken advantage of sometimes because of your kindness

Especially when it comes to other men

On a few occasions Shoto has spotted you in a sticky situation with a guy who was being a little too close for comfort

It would make you uncomfortable of course, you had a boyfriend you already loved a lot-

but you felt kind of bad just being a total bitch to this guy who desperately wanted a chance

So you’d just awkwardly laugh and smile with their stupid pick up lines, trying your best to be polite but also show you weren’t interested

But Shoto at this point has radar for when your in trouble, and just pops out of nowhere 💀

He’s not the type to flaunt his relationship by impulsively kissing you or anything like that, but he’ll show it in subtle ways

Like calling you “dear” or wrapping his arm around your waist

Honestly, the look of pure relief and comfort in your face shows more than Shoto could have ever done,,,

And that Shoto was deifnitely someone that was more than just a “guy fiend” and soemthing like that

Also Shoto would give them a look that could kill and that instantly scares the shit out anyone lmao

These dudes faces would deflate like balloons real quick, cause at this point everyone knows who Shoto Todoroki is

And how the hell can they compete with that

Instant “oh shit my bad” type energy

After those incidents, Shoto locks down way harder

He practically has you glued to his side, and he doesn’t let go

Like at all

Get used to it cause for the rest of the day Shoto is gonna be following you around like some body guard 💀

© Violetnote 2020

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

[itsjusta]

May 2, 2021

woke up at 8 kapin todaaay doeee cos idk kalit ko kamata and saba pd silingan 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ but i went back to sleep mga 10 man heheh after dat i just rested doeee there’s a kdrama im watching naman pd now hehehe but hapit napd nako human!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ galisod raba gyd ko find drama nga ganahan nako doeee aishhh

issa i just had sandwich and iced coffee for lunch doeee cos not in da mood for rice hehe after dat issa just watch2 lang doeee and i went man to my old room cos so igang in my room uyy aishh i also got sapot a little while eating lunch cos mom issa hugaw2 da kitchen again and dili ga clean i have to mop always and its tiring doeee to clean and i didnt even hugaw it aishhh but i left dayon da kitchen dont want to get more sapot aishh

issa im still a litol bothered by sad thoughts today doeee but i didnt cry naaa hehe maybe cos dug on nako in a few days das why im so sensitive?? or maybe im just having bad days doooe hahah issa di man jd mawala having bad days esp cos im still healing from a lot of thingssss sometimes i get used it to it but sometimes i also cant get used to crying doeee hahah i’ve cried so much da past year i think isa nato ka dagat ako tears 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

i also thought about f2f doeee and ion know if im ready for that cos its gonna bring so many changes again :( aishhh ion want to undergo painful changes again doeee but i guess its lisod to stop gyddd and ion want to be alone when its f2fff hahaha aishhh i realized i really have no go-to friend here doeee haahh sauna its fine cos u were there but now omggg this is the reality that i must face hahha its gonna take awhile to get used to everything doe if daghan napd mag change but aish its fine i just have to try my best to get through it doeee and i shud practice dealing with my problems alone also ryt aishhh hahah

kanina 4:30 i did my part sa amo research paper doeee and final edits nalang kulang samo paper and we done na wid daaat omg if ma done nami just 3 exams left and im done with this sem!!! 😩 i hope i do good in da exams 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 i played codm 9-10:30 with kyla and chanler doeee hahha then watched kdrama againn dont wanna sleep early now so i didnt take my medsss aish and idk doeee dis was not a sad day but also not a good oneee ion know my heart is a litol heavy doeee hahah idk with me why i always have days like these aishhh but its okay doe one day i will have happy days againnnn i just have to keep going until muabot na dooeee

good night doeeee u know when u said u will always be there for me issa i cried a litol doe 🥺 cos idkkk im so thankful gyd and it makes me feel lighter to hear thatttt hahah but then i know u have ur own life doeee so aish dapat not nako sge rant to u about everything doeee hahah aishhh but so hard also to doe idk doeee its so kapoy to think about dat aish night aish i cried while writing dis uy issa maka emote huuuh

have a good day tomorrowwww i wish u all the happiness the world can offer! 💛 know that i always pray and will always pray for ur strength, success, and happiness doe. you may not think of me as your bestfriend anymore but i still think of u that way doe das why i want nothing but happiness for u. if you fall down, know that i am here to help u get back up doeee. im always just one call awayyy u know i will always answer ur call doe. thank u for letting me stay in ur life doooeee 🥺

[eerienature]

Now it's my turn🙈💚 1, 2, 8, 11, 13, 15, 20, 21, 24, 27, 30, 37, 42, 56, 57 and 59 sorry that this is late🙈💙

ayyyyyyy my guy! ❤️

1) selfie

ditto so I’ll dm you em! x

2) what would you name your future kids?:

so i’ve always liked the name layla because i really admire the beauty of a night sky but then it literally means sheep in aapni zerbaan so ye lol; i think the name marina is pretty too like the whole nature element, i liked marwa as well till my sister said it sounds like ‘marijuana’ which just ruined it for me totally lol; yusuf is a nice one, you know because of his whole story which i just find really moving and im sure i had some more prophet names which i really like but none of em spring to mind at the mo

8) have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? 

yesssss so the other day i was dress rehearsing for an interview (pray i get the job! x) and none of my smart-wear would fit so i just angry cried it out; i have bipolar as well and before i was on the right meds i’d do that daily but now i seem to be doing a lot better alhamdulilah

11) are you listening to music right now? 

astaghfirullah sister skskskk but naa i stopped listening to music about a year ago i feel like it just dragged me down might just be me but like even the uplifting stuff has melancholic vibes to it 

13) how do you feel right now?

so like i think i missed my meds this morning and at round 7pm i got this really intense agitation where my mood randomly switched within the space of like an hour and i got angry that i was angry but now that im home and talking to you i feel a lot better - I was really on one earlier on in the day when we were messaging tho bc i was like ‘OMG IVE FOUND A NEW FRENNNNN’ which is a huge positive for me!

15) personality description

aaaaaaa i could go on forever, hope you enjoy the cv! so im a really perceptive person - i have a strong insight into my own situations and mindset as well as those of others (a positive side to mental illness i think, like the whole self awareness aspect) i’ve been told im ‘compelling’ which is an incredible personality trait to have! i have a mad sense of humour, talkative, very outgoing, very extroverted and i love a good bit of banter with the right people, love meeting new people and hearing their perspectives too. I’m very intellectual, i love discussions and acquiring knowledge and anything which makes you think or reevaluate your current opinions! but ya im really proud of my identity purely bc i genuinely didnt think i’d make it past 16 (suicidal depression, self harm, mad mania, abuse, overdoses, etc) but like alhamdulilah here i am and i think its my perseverance and my relationship w god which i really admire - im really proud of who i’ve become! (but i mean theyre trying to stamp a personaity disorder diagnosis onto me so i guess i could be chatting bubbles and all this could be totally subjective *x files theme toon plays*)

20) what is your favourite song at the moment?

i mean i hear the odd bop over the radio every now n then n the ‘JUST BC ITS OVER DOESNT MEAN ITS REALLY OVER N IF I THINK IT OVER MAYBE YOU’LL BE COMING OVER AGAINNNN’ song just really seems to get me

21) age and birthday?

ahh see i feel like an old granny ting now compared to you! i’m 20 and my birthdays the 5th of april so i guess we’re both april babies!

24) height

5′2 but i dont look as short as i sound i swear lol

27) things i hate

im no longer a hateful person like even the people i hate i pray for but bidah has got to be #1 without a single doubt, aside from that its all the usual stuff such as bigots, nonces, etc

30) favourite tv shows

mostly stuff on netflix like at the moment im watching ‘sacred games’ and ive never been into the whole bollywood vibe but i swear ive been missing out like! peaky blinders is amazing and tommy is beautiful i dont care if hes my dads age, bedlam was incredible, period dramas like victoria n bbcs les mis are really good, you should check out this is england, shameless, dark and NSU: german history they are mint; i love a good documentary as well

37)  favourite actor/actress

angelina jolie i think! like i have an entire hashtag dedicated to her so ya i guess shes the one!

42) favourite books

kite runner and a thousand splendid suns (defo recommend them both yasmin esp tss - if you ever do read it give us a shout and ill send you the coursework i did for it in Alevel!)

56) favourite food

ben and jerries along with cookie dough are my absolute weaknesses but im inshlla cutting down on sugar so we’ll see if anything changes w those ones!

57) favourite animals

cats for sure! mines called marno shes now 5 alhamdulilah and she is my life n soul - i like dogs but they get over excited way to easily which startles me a bit esp as im v spaced out a lot of the time so a dog tryna hug me is like arghh wyd but i mean i admire their intentions lol that n the fact theyre najis is also bit of a problem for me (whups)

59) why i joined tumblr

so i think i came across tumblr on a random google search n i figured it’d be a good form of self expression n a good emotional outlet esp as i was in a v v bad mind-space at the time so i felt i needed something to call my own which eventually became my lil blog - but ye if you go allllllll the way back to my old reblogs its literally just those black and white depression posts and gifs which is actually really upsetting to me; like although im no longer in that place anymore tumblr continues to be a very good therapeutic outlet so im v grateful for that ❤️

and thats all! thanks for reading this far b and feel free to ask me any other questions, i enjoy answering them! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[arreumddawo]

22/1/21

yo! its like nearly 2am hahah AND it HAS been such a long time since i last posted here and i’m so sorry. i’ve just re-read my past posts and i’m hiding right now ya! HIDING. i’m so embarrassed of who i was back then in 2019?? and i thought i was matured???? please. lah. nabs. my 23 year old self now is cringing!!!!!!

so anyways, a ton of things have happened. i started school! lately, i’ve been saying yes instead of no. i’ve been moving like a train. and surprisingly, i’m doing okay so far. i have a year of school and then i’ll have to start serving my 1 year bond and i’ll..... have to start planning for the two years after,, lol. i really dont know what im doing with my life but i have a rough plan to be a child protection officer in the future but i guess! we’ll see?

there’s just so many updates i feel? i dont even know where to start. 

1. i guess i’m over the 19 year old bustop guy who i wrote a letter to (so sad but yeah he’s just too young and i’m just.. too old!)

2. i am in a terrible taylor swift phase (folklore and evermore omgggg i cant) and i can’t seem to get out of it. maybe i won’t. her songs are healing even though half the time they really just make me want to fall in love with someone. but its okay lah eh sudah nabs

3. i’ve been spending alot of time with my friends (which is good cos they honestly keep me sane and im so thankful for them,, like i honestly think i scored in this department). i even met old friends for goodness sake! lately, end of 2020, i’ve been feeling all sorts of lonely i dont even know man. adulting makes you feel really lonely. and going out with my friends is my only coping mechanism. i just guess i have to get used to this and just!! live! haha its ok nabs you will be ok. you will be lonely but as least you will be rich (inshaAllah) hehehehe

4. i miss my previous nursery class so much. like, so so much i cant even. i’m literally still mourning. they will grow up and forget about me but i’ll be left alone here with my feelings and love for them,, i just cant. im just suppressing my sadness cos i just cant afford to live in the past.

5. met yani yesterday for a meal and it left me soooooo... hais... happy. i loved getting to know her and she was such a cool and super chill person and i’m so happy we could click. she said alot of nice things about me and i’m so happy that someone who used to be a stranger, now thinks THAT nicely of me (even if i dont deserve it). actually, it even made me feel a little better about who i am and i started thinking that, maybe i shouldnt be so hard on myself like no one will like you nabs but if there’s a handful who does, then you are good? not everyone has to like you, you know? deal with it ah? ahh yesterday made me think alot about my authenticity and i was just so thankful for the short time. ive always had this fear that people actually wont like me for who i truly am or like me in general so i guess im very self-conscious about how i carry myself but i feel that i want to worry about this aspect less and just be me. anws i was also so glad she loved the mashed potatoes and the milk pudding at poulet!!!! we talked for like 3 hours until kena halau HAHAHAH BUT YA it was a really great time nonetheless. guess who we sat next to?? SONIA LOLLLLLLL BYE LAH EH AND THANKS GOD

6. met jannah too and we started reminiscing about our past and how we actually just miss,,, being young in general. we talked about memories from the past and even though i hated who i was back then, i really thought for a moment that they were actually really nice times (more for jannah i feel HAHA). made me think about how i’ll turn 24 this year and that this is the youngest i’ll ever be and i just- idk man,, time is running out. time is running out and theres so much i have to achieve both in the dunia and the afterlife and im still stuck in the past. 

7. kak nurul is getting married march 20th. how time flies really. thinking about it actually really made me feel emotional. 7 weekends before she’s married. 7 weekends. i’m....... sad? i’m really sad

as usual i have so many thoughts and i want to share so much more i guess but im so tired and i dont want to write nonsense hahah so i’ll call it a day? thank you for listening againnnn <3 

[itscaramelli]

WHAT'S UP PEOPLE ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE! 🙋🏻🌎💫✨💜 greetings from this long-awaited-and-now-finally-a-fresh graduate with Fashion Business Diploma of LaSalle College International Jakarta!!! all glory with unspeakable gratitude, first and foremost, to the one and only Savior, Provider, source of strength & hope; my Lord JESUS CHRIST!!! 😭😭😭 its been a long-life dream of mine to just get in in LaSalle. and now im even graduated ON TIME from here, I couldn't be more thankful for His grace in every step of the way. to the love(s) of my life; Papa, Mama, Kakak & Jj. I couldn't count how many times I complain about this school, my friends, my living conditions, the weather 😂, the city and pretty much errthang! but againnnn, they're my physical source of joy and comfort. pertama kali pindah jkt, NANGIS TERUS TIAP MALEM SELAMA 2 MINGGU bokkk 😂 pas seteres, maag kumat, selalu ada waktu buat aku to make sure im taken care of. DAD! my best friend, my numero uno go-to person, speed dial number 1. i literally don't know what would i do without you around!!! besides financially supported me on this, you really believed in me ❤︎ you put your whole trust in me knowing that everything's gonna be jusssssttttt fine 😭💜 dari training naik angkot & busway, sampe ke pelosok2 gang2 di jakarta buat nyari kosan yang aman dan deket. i just can't thank you enough for paying attention to the big and little things for me. what i really love from these past 2 years is that how it makes us closer. i'd never thought i could be this close and attached to you, Pah. thank you for being my hero. MOM! yang paling cuek pas aku berangkat ke jkt 😂 gak ngerti juga kenapa smpe akhirnya mama jelasin and now everything makes sense :') remembering those days, you didn't have to do anything to make me miss you. to be honest, you were the one miss the most. thank you for your unconditional love and encouraging words to keep me going. KAKAK! we rarely do any deep talks, but once we do it's really deep 😂 thank you for the unasked advices,for trying to always make me see the bright side of everything and everyone, and of course for your prayers. tho i have people here i consider as my big sisters, you'll always be the best one for me. J 🙄 i remembered that last Sunday i had in Bali, you cried your heart out behind the drums. that was the sweetest thing. thank you for loving and caring for me without even showing it. and oddly im okay with that :) please keep protecting me from the bad guys. to my Bali homies; my big family, tante Ester ❤︎, MSI Bali, ENC core team, BSA family, HIMEE, the Suadikas, the Suryadis, my Princess Boo Cau, TRG, tCO, the Sejatis, the Lienatas 😭💜 thank you for your visible and invisible support. for always and always making me feel like your big baby. aku selalu ngerasa disayang dan di peratiin. ga pernah ga nangis kalo harus ninggalin bali lagi. thank you for loving me 😭😭😭 to my Jakartan family; the Simanjuntaks, the Ganis, the Thomases, the Wowors, the Dinars, ate Charm & cece S! one thing that i cant thank you enough is for making me a part of your family. you didn't have to try, i already feel like the older sister for the little ones here and a daughter of yours. thank you for the warm welcome in 2014 and tagging me along to your family celebrations since then. you all own a special place in my heart. to Ms. H. S.; you are actually an answered prayer for me. i never had to have any more companions since i know you. thank you for existing and being reachable. what im trying to give back to you is nothing compared to what you've done to my life. i know you're not Jesus, but thank you for never turn your back on me no matter how annoying i am. life has been livable with you in it. to C.A.; i wouldn't know how to survive this school without you in it. you're probably the other reason why i want to get up and go to campus everyday. thank you for making college life easier and yet crazier. i never thought id have a lifetime soul mate coming from my college days. you will always be one of my speed dials. to BUBUCACA; kalian semua ayang ayang akuuu! i hope kita langgeng banget sampe tua ❤︎ thank you for existing and making college days even more memorable. makasih buat pertemanan ini. i will cherish it forever. and of course, to LaSalle; my dream. i dreamt about fun art sessions, drawing ideas and various experiments on fashion. but yet i got, sleepless nights, pressuring assignments and unique lecturers😭😂 everything was beyond my expectations. you have taught me more than just what's written on the book and what's displayed on the screen. it's been a heck of a ride and im dealing with a lot of emotions ending it now. thank you for making me, me. nothing that i can do to give back what you all have invested in my life. i am blessed and loved, and forever thankful to have you all to help me be better. now i know graduating from LaSalle is just the beginning; the first biggest dream that came true and the start of the real adventure of my life. i cant wait for what God has prepared for me this year and the years ahead. i've been waiting for this moment, God made me live my dream. so don't ever let other people underestimate your dreams. it's yours, own it like you mean it. tho it doesn't seem possible that you actually start to forget about it, but God won't forget what you said in each of your prayers. ask and it will be given to you. i asked for more surprises this year so, let's see what's more after this! have a sweet day! love, Caramelly.

[bloopbyoop]

Hewwwooooo. This is a scheduled post and I'm assuming that I'm 24 now but hey! I would like to thank this website for being there for me to freely open up to my bottled up emotions for years that I presumed to be were too sad-ish to share to anyone as I didn't want anyone to feel sad or anything similar. I just want everyone to be happy and think that I am always happy as well. Never thinking of something sad. It's pretty saddening how some people are going through the same thing that I do. And it sucks how they think that no one's gonna be there for them or no one understands. Sure, it can be true, but you know what???? Despite thinking like that???? Look, man! You are there! You! Yes, you, you, silly dude! Yourself! Aww geez. Just keep going forward no matter how sucky it is. You got this. So yeah....... im making myself a promise that on December 30 or 31 (idk tbh i didnt check the calender. idk if 2020's december has like either 30 or 31. i didnt check. Sorry) i will tell how much i have grown as a person throughout the year/s. i scheduled a message, an email, and another email to myself with a rough draft of how i got through the days, weeks, months, years (ooohhh fancyyyy. a lot of words). I WANT PEOPLE TO GET THROUGH THEIR LIFE. AGAINNNN!!! HOW MUCH I HAVE GROWNNNNNN AS A PERSONNN!!! SO DUDEEEEEE!!!! YOU BETTER BE ALIVEEEEEEEE!!!! YOU GOT THESE COOL FRIENDS OF YOURS!!!! (?) YOU GOT A GOOD FAMILY!!!!! (?) YOU GOT GOOD THINGS!!!!! (?). YOU GOT A LOT TO BE THAKFUL FOR (?) YOU BETTER BE ALIVEEEEEE (?). these are so fucking annoying to hear but i like to pretend that they are not fucking annoying at all because that what you fuckers want me to think so yeah!!! I BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT. IM BUYING THAT SHIT. i really hope im alive tho for my family. i really deeply care about them. it would really suck to not be able to be physically here to read this like u know.... hahahaha anyways, it would be embarassing to have this post here and like not be able to update you guys (me) about me in dec 2020. hehe. like wait. thats it????? i didnt even reach 25? what a pussy. DONT BE A PUSSY ADRIANNE. FINISH YOUR PROMISE AT BEING ALIVE UNTIL 30 YEARS OLD. But im sure everything will work out right? Right? Yeah. Hope so.

[thisanimal]

im done with college next wednesday o_0

it feels incredibly weird to know that im just Done academically next week. school has taken up ~18ish years of my 22 years of living so its just so bizarre to think that itll all be over so soon? obviously im crazy excited because fuck college and school man but i feel this kinda emptiness when i really think about it. i think im really bad at mentally compartmentalizing my life so even during summer breaks, holiday breaks etc i feel like school is always in the back of my brain. i truly do not know whats gonna happen with all of that extra Brain Data when school ends!!!!!! and thats uhhhhh kinda scary!!!!!!!

and objectively i know i should be proud of myself for completing my bachelors when im the first in my family to do so and majoring in something objectively hard to boot but idkkkkkkkk. i feel like ive faked my way through my entire degree. ive been carried by my friends in the same major thru all of my classes and idk it just does not feel great. theyre staying an extra ~year for their masters which is so lit but idk how im supposed to get a full time job when ive been a fraud these past 4 years......it also makes me sad that i wont be able to see them as much and uhhhhh this sounds selfish but i hate the idea of two of my friends becoming ssuper close without me :(

and hey i also dont have a job yet which is terrifying. i just cannot live at home for an extended period of time, especially when my dad is planning on selling our house, moving us in with his girlfriend, then all of us moving again into a new house. and its not like i can live with my mom because she literally rents out a room to live lmfao. it just fucking sucks man the best thing about this whole global pandemic shit is that my dad cant sell the house so we cant move lollllll which againnnn is a really selfish way of looking at things

idek i think at this point my parents divorce has sucked out all my ?emotional? energy and now i just dont have the capacity to be SAD sad like before.......i havent cried in a hot minute which is super unlike me. i really shouldnt be bitching about my parents getting divorced when im 22 but hey i am poorly adjusted! whats even weirder is that my parents are objectively nicer to me now probably because theyre not 1. miserable together and 2. maybe saw how badly them getting divorced fucked me up......but them being nice now doesnt erase years of emotional trauma baby! and now its gotten to the point where i feel that i cant broach my mental health struggles with my parents at all! yeehaw! nah i dont “feel” i know telling my parents i am mentally ill would go poorly.....these are the same people that made fun of high schools having activities to promote good mental health after a student k*lled themselves because “what do high schoolers have to be sad about!!!!!!”

i think also its just really sad to look back on my childhood and think about how.....non affectionate my parents were?? like i was never congratulated on my achievements, and whenever i asked whether they were proud of me the answer was always “of course we are”......omg i sound like suchhhhhh a little bitch  but one of my friend’s mom is planning on getting a bunch of people in a surprise zoom call with my friend to pop champagne and congratulate him on graduating.........and that just made me soooooo sad man my parents would NEVER do something like that for me.....this also sounds lame but theyve never posted those cringey little congratulatory posts on facebook for me amkdsslal;dklasd im sorry it sounds soooooo whiny when i write it out but mannnnn i really do crave praise!!!!! but even when i get praised by my friends or whatever i can never take it well. like the idea that my friends are proud of me and actually enjoy my company is just. unfathomable to me. truly i think i am just straight up stupid and dont deserve anything from like. idk man i never even saw my parents be affectionate with each other when i was younger lol i truly do not know how to love!!!!! wild

kinda wacky how all of my problem stem from my parents lmfao