#im getting better at handling it from other people but from myself? doing something i might regret later? i just don't know

[fabulouslygaybean]

sexuality is so dumb. relationships are dumb. romance is dumb and sex is dumb and it's all too fucking complicated and weird

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Reading Alice oseman's "Loveless" and sitting here like, wow I wish I could argue with someone, tell them to their face that I'm angry and they fucked up, and then feel justified in my actions moving forward

[azulpitlane]

just pr I ln4

pairing: lando norris x ricciardo!reader summary: after being caught hooking up with lando, you both decide it would be good for your images to fake date. too bad you hate each other. notes: been loving enemies to lovers rn🫣 masterlist

f1gossip

230,421 likes

f1gossip New WAG alert? After a night of partying, Lando Norris was pictured kissing Y/n Ricciardo outside the club! Onlookers claim they then went home together after this👀 He was seen having a private dinner with another girl just a few days ago and rumored to have brought a different girl on his ski trip a few weeks ago.

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user lando is on a streak LOL

user this is so random?!? i was not expecting this duo but im here for it HAHA

user no cause she rarely attends races but when she does shes never seen with lando?😭

user omg he better not play my girl, I love y/n

user WHAT DOES DANIEL THINK OF THIS OMG

user I wanna read the family gc so bad...

user wait they would be so cute

user is he finally settling down omg

user I hope so, I lowkey see them together

user im here for it!! shes so much better than these other girls hes been seen with

notification center

danny what. were. you. thinking. you're in so much trouble missy call me ASAP!!!

y/bff/n LANDO NORRIS?!?!? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM BEING A PIECE OF SHIT??? girl we need to debrief last night

lando norris we need to talk

Fucking fantastic.

Based on your notifications, you put two and two together and realized you were paparazzi'd with none other than the man you hated the most. You and Lando had a very complicated relationship to say the least. You had met when your brother, Daniel, joined McLaren and from the start he had given you the cold shoulder. You didn't know what you did wrong and tried to be kind to him, but after a while you stopped when he dismissed you like a child. You thought you would get along with him after Danny had told you about his interest in photography. You yourself were a photographer and decided to take the year traveling with your brother to capture some photos in F1, but you had figured the fame was getting to Lando especially after his breakup with his girlfriend. He was starting to bring different girls to the garage in every race and you would never see them again after.

You remember your last interaction with him in the McLaren garage in the final race of the '22 season was when the complicated part of your relationship began.

"What are you doing here, y/n? This is a place for serious professionals, not hobbyists."

"Lando, always the charmer. I'm here to photograph greatness."

"Greatness? You wouldn't know greatness if it lapped you on the track."

"Well, I'm pretty sure greatness doesn't come with an ego the size of your car."

"Watch your tone, y/n. This is a dangerous place, not a playground for kids."

"I can handle myself, Lando. Unlike some people, I don't need a helmet to protect my head."

Both your eyes were filled with hatred as they interlocked, each refusing to back down. As the race begins, y/n continues to snap photos, capturing Lando's intense focus and determination.

After the race, both Lando and Daniel were disappointed they were not able to get into the podium on their last race of the season. Your brother asked for some time alone so you approached Lando, camera in hand, knowing it would be the last time you were in the same garage as him.

"Tough race, Lando. I got some incredible shots, though."

"Don't patronize me, y/n."

"You know for what it's worth, I saw a different side of you on the track this season. It's like you're fighting not just against other drivers, but against something within yourself.

"What are you talking about?"

"I may be the younger sister of your teammate, but I'm not blind. There's more to you than the arrogant facade you put on."

After that conversation, you began seeing Lando less and less considering your brother was now racing in AlphaTauri and you were hardly at the paddock anymore. The few times you did see Lando, the tension had shifted into something different. But it was now winter break and you and Lando were both back in Monaco.

You had gone out last night and you did not believe your luck when you saw Lando in the same club with a smirk on his face. Determined to show you could rise above the tension, you decided to lose herself in the pulsating rhythm of the music. As you moved to the beat, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you found yourself face-to-face with none other than Lando.

"Surprised to see me, princess?" He looked at you with a mocking smile knowing the nickname would rile you up.

"Surprised to see you alone at a club and not wrapped up with some girl? Yes, actually."

"Didn't take you for the jealous type, I like it."

Against your better judgment, you found herself drawn into banter with him. The tension between you turned into a strange kind of chemistry as you exchanged barbs, each remark escalating in intensity. A few drinks were exchanged and you slowly began to lose your guard around him and eventually ending up on his bed that night.

You groaned at the memory of last night's mistake and decided it was best to text Lando back before anyone else to get your story straight. He quickly replied saying he was on his way and you began to straighten yourself up.

"You know usually when I hook up with a girl I don't see her the next morning. Consider yourself lucky y/n."

"Still arrogant as ever, even when we're both fucked right now."

"Well you're a little more fucked than I am really."

"Just get in here Lando." You opened the door to let him in and quickly shut it afraid you would be pictured together again.

"I've got good news for you sweetheart. My team has made a plan to sort this mess out."

"Go on with it. What is it?"

"Jeez feisty in the mornings, heh? But congratulations, you are officially my girlfriend, we've been dating for a few weeks now and have kept it under wraps to figure out our feelings for each other privately."

"A fake relationship? That's your solution? No fucking way."

Lando sighed and rolled his head back in annoyance. He knew you were immediately going to shut this idea down but he had planned what he was going to say beforehand and knew what to say to convince you.

"You think I want to do this? My team needs me to do this, I haven't exactly looked like a saint these past few weeks and hooking up with my friend's sister behind his back isn't going to make me look any better."

"And what's that got to do with me?"

"Well in case you haven't noticed, this doesn't look good on your part either princess. There's some hateful people on the internet already slut shaming you and saying you betrayed your brother. If we tell people we were already dating prior to these pictures, it lessens the hate. Not only that, are you really going to tell Danny you had a meaningless one night stand with one of his friends?"

You knew he had a point. Danny wasn't going to be happy if he found out about the brewing tension between you and Lando.

"Please y/n, the internet already likes us together. This would be good for us."

"Lando Norris saying please? Wow, never thought I'd see the day." You genuinely were shocked at his desperateness for you to agree, you didn't think about how this affected him as much it did you.

"Yeah, yeah. It's only for a few months then we could go back to pretending we dont exist to each other."

"Okay fine, just for a few months. And I'm doing this for Danny, not for you." You quickly agreed not really thinking it would be that big of a deal. Just a few posts and appearances together and this would be over before you knew it.

"I knew you'd give in." Lando gave you one of his infamous smirks and planted a kiss in the corner of your mouth. "Now come on we need some pictures to make this convincing."

And so it begins.

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 3,294,240 others

landonorris secrets out

tagged yourusername

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user OMFG

user im actually so happy theyre so cute😭❤️

user WHAT WAS DANNYS REACTION

yourusername 🧡

danielricciardo on the next flight to monaco btw. maxverstappen1 yourusername ooouuu you're in troubleeee user LMFAO MAX user WAIT DID DANIEL NOT KNOW???

danielricciardo 🫠🫠

user AHAHAH he doesn't seem too happy user 💀

user am I tripping or is he holding y/ns camera🥹

user it looks like the one she always has on her I LOVE THEM ALREADY

user my new roman empire I won't shut up about them from now on

user wasn't lando just with other girls?

user he can have female friends!! its not impossible

part two??

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ BOTH? BOTH!

oscar piastri x silent hill / horror game obsessed! reader x lando norris

featuring: daniel being very much like a big brother in the comments and * gasp * a picture of my OWN silent hill collection

faceclaim: assorted

୨୧ some people asked for a part two of this smau due the ending really hinting at a throuple so here it is! it can be read separately or as a continuation as they’re an established throuple here <3 and i know the silent hill 2 remake was announced ages ago but it’s fanfic, let me pretend

reading music recommendations: i want love by akira yamaoka - float up from a dream by akira yamaoka - you’re not here by akira yamaoka

oscarpiastri: this is what happens when i take both of them shopping at the same time…

ynlovesthehorror: we’re peaceful beings :)

> oscarpiastri ✔️: you threw a cucumber at my head…

> landonorris ✔️: can’t handle a little fun osc?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: and you’re no better, you shoved me into the boot of the car!

oscarpastrylover: are… are they all dating now? i feel like this is a little too couple-y…

> landoscaryn: there is no fucking way they’re not all dating… i’ll swear on my hamsters life they HAVE to be dating

> iluvf1: leave the hamster OUT OF THIS LMAO 😭

oldf1lvr: lando and yn be serious for five minutes challenge ( IMPOSSIBLE )

danielricciardo ✔️: cute!

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror, landonorris and oscarpiastri

> landoscaryn: mr man, what do you know? do tell…

landonorris: not too shabby if i do say so myself…

danielricciardo ✔️: happy for you three ❤️

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror, oscarpiastri and landonorris

loveuyn: he really said “you guys still aren’t sure if we’re dating? just have this and leave”

ynlovesthehorror: i kind of look good in these pictures 🤔

> landonorris ✔️: nah, you look like a tramp to be honest

> ynlovesthehorror: die ❤️

landoscaryn: I FUCKING TOLD YOU PEOPLE

> iluvf1: thank god, for your hamsters sake 😭

oscarpiastri ✔️: love you both so much ❤️

> landonorris ✔️: love you more ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: lol, gay ( i love both of you more, now come home so we can make out )

❤️ liked by oscarpiastri and landonorris

oscyn: praying these three never have a kid because you just know yn would FIGHT to name it after a silent hill character…

> landonorris ✔️: fucking hell, don’t give her any ideas…

> ynlovesthehorror: 👩‍🍼 < me and the god i birthed ( we will now build an eternal paradise )

> loveuyn: i don’t think yn realises how niche her references are when it comes to f1 fans 😭

> oscarpastrylover: literally, i think most of them just think she’s clinically insane or something so they leave her be

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

landoscaryn: not gonna shut up about this for MONTHS, my throuple ship is REAL

ynlovesthehorror: just spent hours explaining some of the silent hill lore to lando and every explanation lead to another question from him, i want him DEAD ( also a very good representation of what i want to do to people that say “ it’s ash not snow ” if you ever come into my comment section with that “ lore ” i’ll get lando and oscar to put a brick through your window )

landonorris ✔️: IM TRYING

> ynlovesthehorror: the information is going in one ear and right out the other, honestly, you just need to play them yourself now because i’m DONE

> landonorris ✔️: i’ll play them on stream then, muppet

> ynlovesthehorror: GOOD

> oscarpiastri ✔️: stop arguing you two

> ynlovesthehorror: sorry babe

> landonorris ✔️: sorry love

> oscarpiastri ✔️: ❤️

> landoscaryn: all three of them have each other wrapped all the way around each others finger lmao 😭

maxverstappen ✔️: it’s ash not snow

> ynlovesthehorror: gonna get lando to crash into you

> maxverstappen ✔️: if he can catch up

> ynlovesthehorror: omg??? maxi pad you are a horrible man 💔

> landonorris ✔️: come kiss me to make me feel better 😔

> ynlovesthehorror: on it <3

> oscarpiastri ✔️: me too please

> ynlovesthehorror: nothing happened to you???

> oscarpiastri ✔️: lando whacked me over the head with a lead pipe

> landonorris ✔️: what is it with you two and making up the most unbelievable lies about me 😭

ynlovesthehorror: look at my husband you guys 😩 i cannot believe it, the transmission was actually something fucking good, after years of drought

oscarpiastri ✔️: the most inhuman noise came out of you…

> ynlovesthehorror: I WAS EXCITED

> landonorris ✔️: still, that noise was mental… and i thought we were your husbands?

> ynlovesthehorror: you are! but james was my 1st husband <3

> landonorris ✔️: and was this before or after he killed his wife?

> ynlovesthehorror: ☹️

loveuyn: i feel bad for everyone on the grid and in the paddock because she will not shut the fuck up about this until it releases and when it does release it’ll be even worse 😭

> landoscaryn: right? i’m keeping the engineers in my prayers lmao

danielricciardo ✔️: excited for you yn! i know how much the game means to you ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: thank you daniel, finally someone that likes me for ME

> landonorris ✔️: ?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: ?

ynlovesthehorror: we finally did it! me and oscar dressed up as james and maria, here are the pictures <3 and a sneak peak of me and lando dressed as james and mary hehe

oscarpastrylover: they need to stop being so hot IMMEDIATELY

landonorris ✔️: you looked amazing love, oscar too i guess… ours is better though 😗

> oscarpiastri ✔️: oi!

> ynlovesthehorror: we all looked amazing :) but especially you two

❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri

> landoscaryn: the way they’re always either bullying and mocking each other or being so sweet and loving on each other kills me, it’s literally just three best friends that kiss

> landonorris ✔️: we do more than kiss, my friend

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

> landoscaryn: oh-

> oscarpiastri ✔️: for fuck sake lando!

oscyn: okay… yeah… i’m so normal about this! SO NORMAL

iluvf1: i have no idea who these characters are but this is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen an f1 driver do i think…

> oldf1lvr: literally 😩 hot in so many ways, hot because lando and oscar LOOK hot and hot because they actually do this stuff with yn instead of not participating in her interests! we love men who do things with their gf

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

loveuyn: that 4th picture… hideo kojima approves

> ynlovesthehorror: what could’ve been 💔 biggest heartbreak of my life

> landonorris ✔️: me and oscar could die in a fire and that still wouldn’t beat the heartbreak that P.T. caused you…

> ynlovesthehorror: well at least you know!

> oscarpiastri ✔️: 😔

landonorris: was on a walk with my boyfriend when we came across this strange creature on the side of the road 😟 took it to get some food and we’re not too fond of it, anyone else want it? selling for 10 quid

ynlovesthehorror: honestly hope you get hit by a bus or something

> landonorris ✔️: no you don’t ❤️

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

danielricciardo ✔️: fucking hell, that second picture is amazing

❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri

> ynlovesthehorror: :(

> danielricciardo ✔️: sorry yn!

oscarpiastri ✔️: i think it’s sort of cute, in its own weird way ❤️ definitely worth more than £10

> ynlovesthehorror: 🥹

> landonorris ✔️: £11?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: yeah i reckon that’s enough

> ynlovesthehorror: ☹️

landoscaryn: seeing and hearing lando refer to oscar as his boyfriend literally makes my heart explode 💔 i love these three so much

> oscarpastrylover: yep, this relationship is literally a bisexual f1 fan’s dream, just three hot best friends in a relationship

ynlovesthehorror: my boys <3 ( i love thinking about things they’d go to silent hill for )

landonorris ✔️: you ALMOST made a sweet post but then you just had to go and bring up that game, BE NORMAL ( don’t be normal, i love you weirdo )

> oscarpiastri ✔️: just be happy she made a post about us at all, it’s a once in a blue moon occurrence, 99% of her feed is silent hill ❤️ love you both

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

> ynlovesthehorror: at least SOMEONE knows how to be grateful, love you osc ( and lando, i guess 🙄 )

danielricciardo ✔️: you’ve 100% gotten over lando pointing a gun at you and threatening you then yeah?

> ynlovesthehorror: oh that, yeah, totally! he bought me mcdonald’s and more silent hill stuff and toys for heather so we’re all good now <3

> landonorris ✔️: we’re literally DATING, you muppet 😭

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

yn ln being horny on main

[cremedensada]

I’m gonna need general hcs on interactions with the boy next door… like what if we just moved to town and we first meet him as we’re moving in… Also can they be in like highschool? I don’t know if that’s already the gist but yeah. She’s moving in with her mom and he’s there…

Yandere Boy Next Door

sorry anon i think i went way to far away from what you wanted shdhdh also theyre senior high school students (grade 11 - 12) which is like, two preparatory years for college. so theyre adults bc im much more comfortable with that :33

btw his name is lukas !! he's named now

male yandere + gender neutral darling/reader

lukas is easily approachable - he's got that warmth about him that just draws people in. it's all practiced to maintain his popularity though.

he's also a huge people-pleaser, despite the fact he easily gets burnt out and has his social battery drained.

so when his mom asked him to be a dear and help the new neighbor's kid on their way around the school + neighborhood, he just couldn't say no

sure he's tired, possibly close to having another breakdown just thinking about being pestered by fellow students for answers to homeworks and other menial stuff, but he still manages to say yes and give her another perfectly practiced smile

when he goes over to the house next to theirs - the ones you moved in to, you had no lasting impression on him

now, don't be mistaken, he does think you're good looking but at the end of the day he'd much rather curl up in bed and sleep

so he puts up that perfectly crafted persona and invites you to head to school with him. a new environment is much easier to deal with when you're not dealing with it by yourself! (or something like that)

he tries not to be overbearing, trying to get you to open up while also making sure he's respecting your boundaries and comfort as you made your way inside the school gates

you don't share the same classes, so he asks you for your time table so he knows your schedule

he hopes he's not being creepy or anything, he's just making sure your first day transferring here goes well

sure he's known for being a caring person in general but he does feel like it's his responsibility to make sure you're doing well you know? you're neighbors now, you guys should get along!

it's smooth sailing until it's time you guys finally went home

like that morning, he waits for you and invites you to walk home with him to familiarize with the shortcuts and local lounging spots for students

all the while he tries to get you to talk about your experience today

it must be due to the amount of stress piled up on his plate that lead him to feel... nervous.

his perfect persona cracking as his calm demeanour and collected way of talking slowly devolved into nervous tangents talking about anything at all

were you displeased? his perfection was practiced and polished since he was a kid, was it still not enough for you?

he could handle disappointing people a lot better now but paired with his currently leaning towards unstable, your displeasure is something that's slowly tearing him from the inside

he's jolted out of his thoughts when you suddenly speak up.

"thanks for showing me around. i thought i was going to struggle getting used to things all by myself."

you smiled up at him. "so... yeah. you're... okay."

his heart thumped.

everywhere all around him feels a ton of degrees warmer.

"...okay." lukas was tongue tied.

on the remainder of the journey back home, he walked you to your house, ensuring you got inside safely before making a beeline towards their house and into his room.

normally at this hour he'd be passed out in bed, tired after a whole day of pretending and smiling. today was perhaps the first time he didn't go to bed with his cheeks hurting and aching from smiling so much.

laying in bed, making an excuse as to why he's not going to be joining for dinner, just thinking about you and your words.

lukas grew up living to the standards of being perfect. a perfect son. a perfect student. a perfect friend.

anything less is... unacceptable to say the least. when you do or think of something so often in your day to day life, it becomes a habit. and lukas' habit is perfection.

but you thought he was okay.

okay.

suddenly 'okay' sounds much better than being perfect.

suddenly your opinion towards him becomes much more important than anyone else's.

lukas is a people pleaser, and onwards from that moment, the only 'people' he will ever want to please is you.

i hope this is sufficient? i'm actually v sleepy rn lol but thank you for the idea!

[annabelle--cane]

im listening to mag again and damn do the archival crew HATE jon. listen i get it supposedly your lives would be normal if he hadn't brought you here... but he didn't? (minus og archive crew, jon requesting them and all) if anything he was just kinda there when you made decisions, bro wasn't EVEN THERE when melanie got hired like??? like how r u gonna wish him pain rn, he's ltrly sopping wet and on the verge of dying💀

like another anon I got a month or so ago, this is one of my sleeper agent trigger phrases, so this might be another marina monologue moment.

as I'm also in the middle of a (for my standards) incredibly slow relisten, I've been thinking about this topic, too, but I've been coming at it from a slightly different angle than I normally do. in tim's case, we don't get an actual look at the circumstances under which he transferred to the archives, it is theoretically possible that jon laid it on a bit thick in asking him to come with him to the department and tim wouldn't have even thought of it otherwise, but with melanie we have several scenes of her hiring and onboarding where jon is not present and she continually rebuffs people who tell her she's making a mistake, so the text very clearly sets up that her blaming jon for being trapped there doesn't make sense. and, even with tim having been requested by jon, he still had to make the ultimate decision to switch departments himself, so, yknow, what gives?

most people, I think, and myself in the past, have come at this question from a very jon-centric pov because he's the main character and it's a jon-centric show, but I think putting it down to "they lash out at him because he happens to be there and stops defending himself after a while" misses something, as does "they lash out at him because elias sets everyone up to think they have an adversarial relationship to jon." more than that, I think it's about the rejection of agency.

tma is a show that's very much About agency and choices, so it's important to keep track of where characters suddenly balk and try to offload their choices onto other agents. martin, despite being very proactive and efficient when he sets his mind to it, has a consistent habit of thinking of himself as fundamentally unimportant and unable to affect real change. jon, someone who is usually culpability_acceptor_4000, really tries to convince himself that the web made him pull statements out of strangers. and melanie and tim, on realizing that they've gotten themselves stuck in the archives, have similar reactions of trying to retroactively make those decisions jon's.

they hate being stuck there and they can't bear the idea that it might be their fault, and they don't know how to reconcile the choices they did make with the greater forces outside of their control that shape their lives. tim swings right from seeing jon as fully responsible to seeing everything as the result of cosmically inevitable bad luck, and this hits him so hard that it leads directly to his suicide. post-bullet melanie gets a better handle on it; accepting that she chose to fall further into the slaughter opens her up to accepting that she made other choices, like joining the archives, as well as accepting future choices, like quitting the archives.

and yes, in the moments where tim and melanie are most vulnerable and just starting to realize how deeply screwed they are, jon (at least from their pov) does something to make it worse. when jon tells tim that jane presntiss wasn't his fault, tim says "well you sure made me feel worse afterwards! and then everyone had to pay attention to how you were feeling to get you to stop stalking us!" when melanie goes in for a second assassination attempt on elias, elias makes jon talk her down instead of doing it himself, presumably to try and get the slaughter mark done with. neither of these are the inciting incidents for tim and melanie's situations, but they stand out. and because jon is culpability_acceptor_4000, a man who feels like the weight of the whole world is on his shoulders and is even right some of the time, the accusations stick. tim and melanie don't want anything to be their fault, jon thinks everything is his fault, and it's a bit of a vicious self-fulfilling cycle.

[catmask]

Been meaning to catch more of your streams because they're so fun and relaxing and inspire me to do art alongside you! but I have a question?? How on earth have you managed to keep a streaming schedule? (kudos!!!!) I've tried it a few times and after about a month of consistency I get so tired and drop off of it, do you get guilt about rescheduling? (saw some announcement from the other day and it was so communicative and professional) and, how do you measure your own levels of energy to know how long you can stream for? Some people are just Built Different but I don't hear it often talked about how being social like that can drain people, especially when popular streamers in this era are usually streaming all day every single day of the week! Honestly love your work and everything you do, from what you share we seem to have a lot of similar tastes and experiences so I was just curious if this was something you encountered, and if so would love to hear any routines or strategies you have, if you're comfortable doing so! :3

for one thing, this isnt my first time around the bend! i used to stream about four years ago to a much smaller audience, and i feel like that gave me a lot of experience that was useful now as a streamer. i was also still in college/working full time then, so it sort of gave me the like... 'if i stop now im going to sink and die like a shark' mentality about a LOT of my hobbies. art and streaming both.

i do fully understand the feeling of burnout, and with anything you do its important to develop a gage as to how tired you are to determine whether or not you need to reschedule. killling your momentum of doing something can often result in dropping the habit altogether, but at the same time you are a human being with needs so theres gonna be some days you have to just call it off.

my internal 'system' for sickdays/delays is 'if i cant fix the problem in an hour, its a sick day, and if i can its a delay. if i can fix the problem in ten minutes and im avoiding it, then i need to remember im gonna have a lot of fun after its fixed and get up off my ass'

sometimes that 'problem' was as simple as 'i got yelled at at work today and idk if i can handle being smiley and funny for people when i feel like shit', but reminding myself that i always felt better after i streamed was often enough to pull me out of that. if the problem was i was tired/felt like shit, id take a delay and prepare a dinner, shower, and sit down for a bit. then id generally feel okay enough and streaming was no problem!

its easy to beat yourself up for not maintaining a consistent schedule fr streaming when you start out, but the thing you should really be asking yourself is - did you take care of yourself, the streamer, so that consistency was possible? good food, good sleep, and alone time to relax are imperative to any public facing activity, especially something like streaming!

[kuni-is-daddy]

Hear me out- fluffy comfort sex with scara bc y/n's severe daddy issues are acting up and it gets rougher... idk ive just been fantasizing about this 🤭

"For me~"

Tw: daddy issues, Signals of depression.

Scaramouche x GN reader PUREE comfort! :)

1.3K Words

scara masterlistt wanderer comfort

Fluff+smut

MINORS DNI---

Please make sure your taking care of yourself! I might not know you but your a beautiful person inside out who deserves the best and an amazing life no matter your age. Either young or old, things will get better. Have faith in yourself ❤️ I hope scara helps you feel better here💜

Art credit!

Even though scaramouche has a interesting personality. I feel like he truly can relate to MANY people regarding their problems and that's why he's one of my, if not favorite genshin character.

He's on break from his most recent mission in inazuma and treats you out and catch up as another date. He brings you a couple of gifts and some dango he kept cold just for you. "I thought you weren't a fan of dango scara?" "I'm not but.. figured I might as well bring something sweet for you besides myself" you giggled but that soon turned into a sad expression while you played with the box of dango he handed to you. "What's wrong y/n?"

Unfortunately, hearing about what's going on with your father was the last thing he wished to hear. Your his everything and you getting treated or viewed as nothing is something that makes his skin boil.

"tsk, how about I teach that old man a lesson? Humans are all the same. Taking it out on others because they can't handle the fucking truth or their own shit life. Where is he?" Scaramouche stood up from the table and looked at his surroundings.

"S-scara baby please it's fine its fine.." he sits back down. "Being with you already makes my day a blessing." You cup his cheek and he sinks into your warm touch. Looking at your beautiful eyes. He sighs, "you don't deserve this y/n. And..I'm not going to be here all the time for you. Fuck...this is already pissing me off"

"I don't even fucking have a father, but if I did I sure as hell wouldn't let myself get pushed around like this." You frowned. "Hey. Look at me. Your not a push over okay? I-im just saying this isn't right. Your beautiful and deserve the world y/n. I'd give you all of teyvat in a heartbeat" which you assumed he could after seeing the 'Shouki no kami' he and 'the doctor' have been working on. "Is he always home and like this?" "Yeah.. it's just like this when I'm around... So I'd just find something to do to try and take my mind off if it but..it still hurts." He held your hand. "Its going to hurt my love, it hurt when my mom abandoned me as well. Leaving me alone, but you have to find hope. Be it something small or anything. The fatui was.. a revenge thing you can say but. I found hope within you to be different..even if I am still in it. For now." You blushed "wow kuni~ I never knew you could be so nice." And there went his ego, "I just tell it like it is. And like I said, you are beautiful my love. And you certainly are worth it. Every hour, every second and every breath I take by your side."

It grew silent for a couple of minutes. Scara got up and paced back and forth thinking of a way to help you, to make you understand he loves you. He knew that deep in your thoughts we're tragedy and pain, that you we're alone. And he didn't want you to feel how he felt when his life crumbled due to the stoned face of a god.

He wanted to hurt that man, make him regret it. But he knew that wasn't the right way. Sometimes violence isn't always the answer and he learned that from you. You we're the yin to his yang, the beat in his heart. He loved you more than anything and you guided him into the 'happy' man he is today more then anyone could ever hope to become.

He didn't take you home, rather to his own home. It was dark, black painted walls and only 1 or 2 pictures he took with his 'buddy, Childe' and the rest we're all pictures of you. Even in his room he had taped up letters you'd write to him during his abroad trips. "Look. Come here." He was a little stern but you can tell it was because he was angry at how you we're being treated. "You see all of this here? I read these everyday. When I wake up, to be reminded that I'll always have you y/n." He held your hands and sat on the bed while taking his hat off. "I want you too feel the same way, even with that piece of shi- 'annoying parent' around. You don't have to read my letters my love, but please. Stay strong. For me. And for the future we will have together, side by side. Always."

SMUT🤪

Scaramouche laid you onto the bed and let out a groan "god look at this beautiful body of yours. How dare you look at yourself like this.. your fucking beautiful" he rubbed his hands along your body and took licks around your neck "I'm gonna treat you well t'night baby. And tomorrow I'm going to ask that brat Childe to take the rest of my missions for a bit(months) love." "B-but scara then your going to be so busy after-" he kissed you to keep you quiet. "Mmm mmm.. don't worry about that, trust me you'd be surprised to see the things he'd do after I put on a show for him(scara means killing a buncha people. Childe loves that shit😩)

Scara moved down to your private part, licking and kissing it "Scara~ stopp..your tongue~"

"Want me to stop baby? I know you like it." "N-no" you said while rubbing through his hair "you feel so good~" he smirked. "Good you like it. How about my fingers, you want that to?" "Y-yes daddy..wanna feel your fingers." Scara licked at his fingers and put two inside. "Mmm your so tight around my fingers baby..." He took his other hand and held your leg up while biting at your thighs. "Scara~ please~ ah...hah...." biting and sucking on your thighs until you got a hicky "Yes? What does love want." "I- I want you inside." He stopped biting at you and laughed. "Mmm and here I thought you wanted me to be gentle. And cherish your body." "I-i do but... I want more of you scara" "then take what you want of me, my love"

"Oh fuck baby..L-look at you, bouncing on daddys cock so well." Scara's praises made your body heat up. You two interlocked hands as you chased your orgasm "Yes y/n..Fuck yes. i love you. I love you so fucking much, Please cum for me. Let me hear those beautiful moans." "S-SCARA~ OH sHIT~" You cum oozed onto scara as he kept praising you, "Mm..fuck baby you did so well..So fucking well.. lay down f' me." Your body grew weak as your high started to fade and he guided you to the otherside of the bed. Scara licked off some of your cum while cleaning you up. "Shit.. and you taste good too baby." You threw a pillow at him "You pervet-"

You awoke to your boyfriend soundly asleep next to you. Already in his fatui attire. "S-scara...Your still here" He ruffly opened his eyes. "Of course id be here dumass.. But i do have to leave in a bit.. Otherwise how else am i gonna get that ginger idiot to take my work for a bit." You we're shocked that he still committed to what he said earlier, You thought he was just speaking to boost you up but scara was serious about it. You gave him a hug. "Im so glad to have you in my life Kuni. I love you."

"My god, my mother, humans. They've all abandoned me. Because I was 'weak. Not good enough.' But now I understand my love, I don't need them. Or what they say... All I need and want is you. I want to wake up to your beautiful smile. I want while I'm away for you to be happy. So please keep trying, not for those that dismiss you like they've done me. But for yourself and me. I believe in and love you. Just the way you are and the person you strive to be. I love your kindness, the way you smiled even when you we're sad on our dango date and wake up everyday even if it's the bare minimum. Dont hide those emotions anymore my love, When your hurt, Fall in my arms. Please stay, don't listen to that old bastard or the pain in your heart. I love you and I will stay with you until the bitter end to pick you up. Just like you always did for me"

Ps: I will be home Early, Tomorow evening most likely. Apparently, childe sees me as his 'best friend' and is willing to help regardless. What a looser. Anyway, I have to prep up for the fatui's grand dinner. I hope you ate today my love, Farewell until then.

-Kunikuzushi.

[ellieslittleburrow]

Requested by the beloved @fatherlesschild2 : CAN YOU WRITE SOMETHING ANGSTY ABOUT SHERLOCK AND ENOLA BEING SIBLINGS WITH READER, IDK I HAVE A QUESTIONABLE IMAGINATION BUT MAYBE THE READER GETTING INTO A FIGHT AND TRYING TO HIDE IT?

Warnings : uuuuuuuum angst? Grr scary brother

A/N: sorry for the delay lol. I had to copy and paste every single line from my other account so if something's out of place im soorry hahahah ❤️

------

*creak*

God damn you st-

*creak*

Maybe if i went slower

"God da-"

"Young lady."

Your eyes flew up as your lips parted in a little gasp. Before you stood a large figure. Broad shoulders and a threatening stance, it towered over you, causing you to freeze in place.

Tiny splinters dug into your frozen fingers as you gripped the stair handle, tightening your hold the more Sherlock kept silent.

I mean, is he going to keep standing there until the sun sets and the birds start churping?

Your older brother stepped aside, motioning for you to step inside. And you complied, slowly and hesitantingly.

"Youngsters ought not to be wandering about late at night, particularily when expressly told ,on multiple counts, not to slip out." Sherlock patienly waited for you, taking after you the moment you passed by him.

You felt smaller with a much bigger shadow than you. But you kept your posture straight, anyways.

Your head was feeling too heavy for your liking and you just wanted to sleep.

"I'm sorry, Sherlock, is there any way we could do this tomorrow morning? Now's not the time for a lecture." The words came in a gruff tone. And as if you weren't already in enough trouble with the man, you just headed for the room you and sister Enola shared.

"Sure...Tomorrow." Sherlock's voice sounded." Good night, little one."

"And don't think i didn't see those marks on your neck"

Fuck.

"We'll discuss it tomorrow."

--

It's tomorrow.

A pain is etching from your temple down to the hollow part that sits under your cheek.

Flashes of your....eventful evening storm in from your subconscious and a long sigh escapes your lips.

" Finally awake."

AH. You shriek, your body jerking to the uncomfortably close voice over you. Rolling around halfway, you jump backwards, shrieking at the two people standing over you.

What the hell?

Sherlock and Enola were standing at your bed, both leaning down to examine you like you're a cadaver they were just about to start inspecting.

But you weren't. So why the fu-"

"How did you get that, y/n?" The investigator's eyes dart from your own eyes to your cheek, and you unconsciously cover the said thing with your hand.

Uh....you were't sure whether to lie or not. Whether to tell the whole truth or just half of it.

"Uhhh..." A long sigh escaped your lips without your accordance as you hadn't already decided on which story to tell yet. "Uh..." You stuttered again, flustered.

You shrink in your bed, melting into the sheets as you leaned away from the figure that lowered it's upper body over yours.

"Little one, your answer better be the right one."

Sherlock's eyes calculatedly pursuited yours until they locked.

Dark and threatening, they glared into your soul. Shit. How can someone regret their decision the second they made it?

"I....I fell down the bar stairs."

Fuck. How can someone regret their decision the second they made it?

Sherlock straightens his back. "Really?"

"Y...yeah. you c-c-an ask the men th-there if you want." You got out of bed, the opposite side of where your siblings were standing.

"I was walking....I might've had a drink or two." Maybe admitting to another forbidden punishable act will help you elude the real thing? "And as i was walking down, my ankle twisted and i found myself flying down the stairs."

You brushed past both of them, heading for the door. Nice lie! If they were to go ask the men there, nobody would be able to say a single word, because all of them would have been too drunk to even know their own names.

You'd highfive yourself but-

"Alright then, show me the other bruises."

You were glad your back was facing them, as your eyes widened in surprise. Fuck! You didn't think of that. "The ones on your hands and knees, probably, as well as your hip." Triumph laced Sherlock's voice. You internally damned him to an afterlife in hell.

"What...other bruises?"

"Well of course i can't do that!" You spin around, disdain etched across your face. You scoff.

"I can't undress myself in front of y-"

Haha! Enola. You almost forgot about h-

"He'll leave the room."

You snort a provocative chuckle "You really believe i think of you any differently, Enola?"

"I'm sure he trusts my decision making by now." Your sister lifted a triumphant brow.

Enola's eyebrows relax as annoyance etches across her face. She sighs and happiness internally floods your body. Looks like you were close to win the battle. With her.

"How's this?" Anger embodies Sherlock.

Definitely only with her.

"Lie and i will make sure you...never do that again."

Sherlock started walking towards you.

"But then again, i would like for you to spare us the anticipation, i already know you're lying. Because your-"

"Because my toes seem strange and i breathed in instead of out?"

"Because your friend came running here and said you were getting yourself in really bad trouble. And that it was only a matter of time before somebody got badly hurt."

Oh..of course she did...

"Listen, y/n, we understand that you're afraid of our reactions." Enola started, crossing her arms over her chest. "But you can't hide those things from us, we're your siblings."

Adorable-not good enough, though. Not to insult Enola's attemps and efforts, but you'd never do that just because you're siblin-"That's Enola."

"On my part, if i ever find out you're lying to me about something like this, i will make your life a living hell, little girl. And trust my words, i will make sure of it."

Your head spun towards Sherlock, a bit surprised and...scared as darkness suddenly swamped his voice.

You would've rolled your eyes at him but you were already in enough trouble. You wouldn't want to bury yourself in it, would you?

"I'm sorry." The lie slipped out of your lips like butter. You're not sorry. You don't care. In fact, you're not done with those stupid bastards. And you're not one to let go easily.

Thankfully, they weren't going to know since your face was already bruised. Or are they?

------

I HAVE A QUESTIONABLE IMAGINATION TOO I WILL DO BETTER NEXT TIME OKI KISSIES NOW BYE BYE. ❤️❤️❤️🥀🥀🥀

[kyushiblast]

Howdy! Could I request a platonic grusha with a reader who maybe gets into an accident during his snowboarding gym challenge? Not just taking a tumble or anything, like rocks fall or something and you break a limb.

Im not really sure what kind of genre this would count as... hurt/comfort, I suppose????

Idk. I just like giving my favorite characters heart attacks 🙃

⤷ 〝 reminders and you. 〞

➞ pairing : grusha x gn! reader

➞ summary : you get injured during grusha’s gym challenge.

➞ genre : hurt to comfort

➞ cw / other : bad injury mention , DO NOT RAG ON MY TAKE ON GRUSHA’S PERSONALITY OK , not proofread

➞ a/n : ahah we are very alike. I’M SORRY there are some non platonic parts in here i couldn’t help myself — GOSH this could’ve been so much better. again, i'm sorry.

you and grusha were friends on good terms. he’d heard from you plenty on how excited you were to face him despite battling him unofficially many times before.

he’d then reminded you about his gym challenge, which led to him teaching you the basics.

everything should’ve been fine. you should’ve passed with flying colors, you should’ve been able to battle him. but as grusha watched from above, he witnessed himself the event.

a couple of rocks flew your way from a bunch of whatever pokémon play-fighting, ranging from the size of a bergmite to a literal cetoddle. it was hectic.

this was early in the morning, so the snow tossed around from the first hit was easily seen throwing you off and landing you in the snow. grusha, without thinking, leapt from his position and sped towards your body. you were practically suffocating in the snow, the amount on top of you along with the heavy rocks against your one leg preventing you from getting up.

everything ached. grusha’s voice sounded so far away, even as he wiped the snow away from your face and got his pokemon to help get the rocks off.

yelling. ambulances. people carrying you away. grusha’s hand entwined with yours (as he’d taken off his glove to do so) in a protective, worried manner. and you’d just noticed your tears falling down onto the stretcher, warm compared to the coldness in your chest.

meanwhile, grusha was having an inward panic attack. why did it always have to be with snowboarding? he could’ve prevented this—he could’ve had the common sense to rid the pokémon around in case of something like this happening. but no—he just watched you. watched the fall, watched your bleeding and crippled form from those stupid rocks and the icy mountain’s hand in all of this.

he gripped onto your hand like it was a form of life support, no matter how embarrassing it would be to explain it later. he was focused on the flashbacks of what happened to him before, his state and his life turned upside down because of one mistake.

but he promised to himself that whatever happened next, he’d be next to you through it all.

the ride felt like a time to reflect. reflect on childhood and whatever led you to this. “if i go out like this,” you thought to yourself, “at least it’ll be by grusha…”

like souls melded together, your thoughts were mostly on the other on the journey to the hospital.

he’d expected this, but couldn’t help but cringe anyways at the diagnosis.

fractures, a concussion, internal suffering, and so on—surgeries were unavoidable and inevitable. but to him you handled it all like a champ, thankful that the doctors here were skilled and handy at their jobs.

grusha was relieved you were alive. the doctors had said you were lucky, and he couldn’t have thanked his lucky stars more for you.

his calm demeanor slowly returned in the lobby as he waited patiently for them to call him back. he got news that you’d have to stay overnight, which he was also expecting. and so he decided to stay with you as comfort.

he carefully opened the door to your room, the place dimmed and your eyes closed for sleep—or as he thought.

it’d surprised him when he saw your fingers wiggle a little, as if reaching out but suppressed by lack of energy (which was probably accurate). he gently took your chilly hand, warming it up with his now put on glove. you’d tugged at the material, though, and so grusha took it off.

his fingers, surprisingly soft and less cracked than you’d think them up to be, moved in soothing gestures against your own. your mind was still in a daze, but you knew that this feeling with him felt fuzzy and warm. a moment you’d want to last forever under different circumstances in which you hadn’t injured yourself.

after some contemplation, he leaned forward to lightly kiss the top of your hand before shying his head away.

he’d stayed holding your hand until you’d fallen asleep, his cue to fall asleep on the chairs next to the bed despite the uncomfortable feeling.

grusha’s happy to say that he was fully available on the day you were discharged. on other days, he’d visit you in the hospital with the days cut short because of one thing or another. but because of a well needed day off, grusha appeared on the day and helped you get back to the outside world.

you got back your pokemon from grusha, who’d you’d loaned them to to take care of while you were hospitalized. they’d visited too along with him, always clingy and fussy over you.

you were supposed to use a special cast for a while, but it was better than staying holed up in that musty room with nothing to do and talk about scheduled dosages and surgeries all the time. much better.

with grusha by your side, you were going to go back to your usual routines and finally be able to battle him.

all this for a battle. spoiler alert, you win.

work of kyushiblast , please do not translate , copy , or repost here or on any other platform !!

[last-blue-hours]

https://www.tumblr.com/last-blue-hours/758882672634445824/i-guess-i-have-to-formally-announce-that-im?source=share

Taekookers and Jungkook solos seem to be under this misconception that Jikookers are all Jimin-biased lol. I've realized this being so long in the fandom. But when I was new and getting to know BTS, Jungkook was the first one I gravitated towards and soon I became a Jungkook biased ARMY. And it was through focusing on JK and watching non-edited content + little clips that revolved around him that I picked up on something between him and Jimin.

I didn't stumble upon shipping spaces or videos that could have altered my perception, it was all authentic. And mind you that time every little BTS content had Taekook at the forefront of the things I used to see and was recommended the most. But whenever I'd watch him with Jimin, the way Jungkook himself would behave towards Jimin (whom I didn't even like then), I'd feel so weird, like I'm watching moments between two people that I'm not supposed to witness. Even the moments when he'd push him away, I saw only myself when I was in love with my ex-girlfriend who wasn't my girlfriend but just a close friend then. Everything that JK is, his personality, is so much like myself, I feel. And that's a major reason why he's my bias, other than the fact that he's so talented.

Definitely not every Jikooker is Jimin biased, in fact from my perspective I'd say quite a number of them are Jungkook biased. And I think the Jm biased Jikookers have gotten even less now because of what happened with Face and Seven (people feeling the company sabotaged Jimin while JK got heavy promotion). A lot of the people who became PJMs in 2023 are ex-jikookers.

I’ve known bts and somewhat witnessed the inner workings of their fandom for a very long time. Although for some time, I have seen myself in the category of a lurker. I didn’t have the time to actively be a part of it. Now, I have crawled out of the woodworks, on time for the travel show.

It was jimin who caught my eye but it was jungkook, whose introversion, so similar to mine that I saw a sort of fondness growing and settling deep within me. I was there when km’s relationship began to take shape, something very undefinable still since we’re just spectators but I can pinpoint the exact moment when a lot of people could just tell. We just knew. Jungkook was the more obvious one, his face shows a map of his heart. We didn’t have jeonlus or satellite jeon for no reason, they were exaggerated but it was fun while it lasted. And what you said about your experience with your ex-girlfriend (I hope what you had with her was good for however long it lasted), the more you feel for someone, the more overwhelming it is to be around that person. Often times people misinterpret it as something malicious, which is what happened with Jungkook. And the kid was also going through a very sensitive developmental and transitional phase of his life. People are still unkind to that Jungkook.

I don’t like saying this but so many are in some ways living vicariously through km’s relationship while having an internal struggle as they project their own insecurities onto it. It’s such a shame how misery is thriving in these spaces on both sides. And why many jm biased jjkers have become solo stans. Another reason being, as you pointed out, how hybe handled jimin and jungkook’s solo debut. Hybe proved to be very incompetent while handling jimin. And the resources they did give Jungkook, it was to push an idea of a certain image, a regurgitated image of a popstar we have seen being already exhausted in the music industry. They didnt get the memo of what made Jungkook golden. That’s just what was off about the whole album. I’d like a better creative team for him.

And I do think a lot of jjkers are just people who are equally interested in jungkook and jimin as individuals. But yes there are a lot of jungkook biased jjkers. Us.

[days-until-burnout]

hiii sorry for bothering buttt may i request maybe scar/joel arcade au where joel wins everything for scar :333

i rlly2 like ur writings theyre all so good !!

so... FIRST OF. YOU ARE NO BOTHER. YOU DONT BOTHER ME OR ANYONE EVER. YA HEAR ME?! YOU'RE FAR FROM BOTHERING. THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST. and now, well. the original idea had more games but i got too into feelings. and... yeah. got a little angsty compared to what you asked for but that's writing for ya. hope you enjoy regardless also, thank you! i do try to write good-ish stuff despite the limited time and planning so im happy to hear you like it<3!

_____

📧 Day 22 -

Characters - Scar/Joel Words - 1,970 Time - 60 mins Content - Modern (HS/College) AU | hurt/comfort

Normally, Joel wouldn’t care about his surroundings, it was better to focus on his own thing and blend in. For as loud and imposing as he was, he rarely stuck his nose in other people’s business. But currently, the noise was getting in the way of his concentration, another missed shot. He grabbed another basketball, looked behind him to find the source of his distraction. A group of teens, all surrounding someone. He shouldn’t involve himself, way too many to handle on his own, but if he didn’t, who would stick up for whoever was at the center?

He looked around for an employee, until his attention was drawn back to the group. A panicked peace offering. Very panicked. 

“Hey, hey, hey, can’t we all get along? No need to get handsy!”

Joel frowned. The response made his skin itch. Vile words. Before he knew it, the ‘leader’ was stumbling forward, the basketball bouncing away as he approached them. Familiar faces, all of them, from the same school. His eyes flickered to the person in the center, finding Scar looking up at him with undecided fear or relief. He looked back to the ‘leader’, unamused. 

“Pick on someone your own size,” he gloated, keeping a neutral expression to their glare. He looked up when they stepped closer, anger in their eyes, a fist quick on his shirt. He glanced between his scrunched up shirt and them, giving them an out, “I dare you, tough guy.”

They glared, then shoved him back, but he planted himself firmly, barely moving. The group began to move away, going around him to not get in his way. 

He watched them all leave the arcade before turning back to Scar, who finally settled on relief. Just as Scar opened his mouth to say something, thank him probably, he walked off to find the basketball he threw, prompting walking it back to the game that had ended. With newfound peace, he threw the ball and scored though there were no points given. Scar caught up then, rolling just behind him, so he couldn’t walk away. Well, he could, but he might as well hear him out. 

“Uh– Joel, right? Thank you. You didn’t have to, I’m sorry you lost your game beca—”

“Do they pick on you?” he asked instead, not wanting to hear gratitude or apologies. After all, it wasn’t Scar’s fault, though he found it hard to let him know. 

Scar looked away then, facade breaking as he stuttered some excuses, rubbing the back of his neck and clearly lying. “I, well, no– I mean, they don’t pick on me. It’s just fun! Between friends, you know, right? Just some fun between friends, teasing and messing with each other. It’s a-okay!” Scar raised his hands and did some jazz movement, a forced smile plastered on his lips. He looked tired, which was something. Joel pinned it in the back of his mind, for later, if he still felt like dealing with all this. “And it was my fault, anyways. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I must’ve hit them with my chair accidentally. It’s all alright, trust me! I– Yeah, I can handle myself. It was all fun.”

Joel didn’t believe him. But he didn’t try to pry more either. It was whatever. 

He glanced over at another game, then back at Scar who seemed to have turmoil in his face. “You want to play?”

Scar looked up with wide eyes, almost sparkling but they quickly died, a sad smile replacing the excited o of his lips. “Oh, nonono, I couldn’t bother you with that! I was just here to watch for a bit. I have other things to do, places to be! I’m a busy person, very busy! My—”

“On a Saturday morning?”

“I, well– You never know with these things, Joel! People are busy and—”

“You owe me.”

Scar’s eyes went wide again, and Joel figured he could bully Scar into playing some games, which sounded sadistic but it was whatever. He didn’t have anywhere to be, and it was hard to ignore the guy in the wheelchair watching everyone else having fun in the arcade. His eyes flickered away as he fished out his arcade card, extending it to Scar, who looked between the piece of plastic and him. 

“Five dollars. And don’t keep me waiting.”

Hesitantly, Scar took the card and pushed himself to the counter, Joel following behind. The exchange was quick, with Scar soon turning around and extending the card. Just as he began to thank him again, Joel walked away, Scar spluttering as he followed clumsily, careful to not hit others or the machinery. Joel stopped at a water-shooting game, pointing at it as he looked at him with an expressionless face. 

“I want to play this one.”

Scar blinked seven times, opening and closing his mouth as he looked between him and the machine, timidly getting closer to tap the card on the reader. “Uh, there…”

“I wanted this one.” Joel stood on the other water-gun, and Scar reached over to tap the card. “Well, don’t waste the credit.”

“Right…” Scar placed the card on the little table, got his chair as close as he could to the seats and lifted himself on it. His hands trembled on the handles of the water-guns, staring intently at the flashing buttons in front of him before a hand reached over from his peripheral, pressing the start button. 

Joel selected the level and they began, shooting zombies in waves. It was tense, Scar constantly glancing over at Joel, who eventually caught on and stared right back, almost daring him to try again. Scar didn’t, focusing on the zombies and trying to not make a bigger fool of himself. They raked up points together, until Scar died leaving him to watch Joel’s precision aim and almost calculated movements, the quick decisions and quick thinking before dying too, which Scar noticed as Joel throwing. 

“Well… Uh, that was fun! Thank y–”

Joel got up and looked around the arcade, finding empty machines and pointing at one. “I want to play that one now.”

Joel didn’t walk away this time, and Scar wanted to give him the card, but he lifted himself back to his chair and followed over. Joel didn’t stray far. Never close enough for Scar to slip the card into the pocket of his hoodie, but still close enough that people moved out of the way. Scar felt sick, but he didn’t know if it was from the shame of Joel’s pity or… or maybe sick from happiness? If that was an option. Regardless, they arrived at another game, an aim game with clowns as their targets. 

“You… um, do you want to play together?” Scar asked, looking up at Joel who looked away from the clowns and shrugged. His heart picked up as he tapped the card on one reader, putting it down, and only exhaling when Joel stood by his side instead of going to the other machine. 

Joel showed him up at every game. And the eventual teasing began, smirks and innocent eyes. Scar found it hard to be hurt or mad or sad, found it harder and harder game after game, always aware that they spent more than the five dollars he put in. In another situation, he would’ve watched others play with a quiet jealousy, but today, he didn’t mind watching Joel killing it in games he couldn’t take part in. 

“You look good,” he blurted out randomly, mind away from how late it probably was. It was hard to tell how long they’ve spent in the arcade, much longer to tell when Joel refused to stop pointing at games and now pouting to go. 

Joel looked back over his shoulder, giving him a smirk that was more than that teasing one, not like the ones he gave him when he missed a clear shot or when he ended hundreds of points ahead, but it was a different kind of teasing. 

“On a bike, I mean. Suits you, Bad Boy and all that,” he said quickly, waving his hand about as Joel continued to drive without looking at the screen for long. It was unfair how easy Joel made all the games look, and it was even more unfair how good Joel looked while crushing said games. “You should get one.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Scar tried not to. He tried to focus on his own steering wheel with Joel beside him, he tried to not think about it on the roller coaster simulator while their shoulders pressed against each other, and he tried to not think about it as they reached the price counter. He finally stopped thinking about it when his phone rang, and he picked to hear his mom ask where he’d been without answering her for hours now. He told the truth, promised he’d be on their pick-up spot right away. 

The day was ending already? 

He didn’t want it to. 

“You want something?” Joel asked nonchalantly, prompting Scar to look up at him, staring at his profile for a moment. The lights just on the edge of his face, the rest in shadows before he turned to him, now half-half of lights and shadows. He looked at the prices, so far away and the corridor too narrow to enter. He shook his head, and Joel looked back. 

“We didn’t get enough tickets for it, anyways,” he said a chuckle, and Joel looked at him again. “And! And even if we did, five dollars don’t cover even a quarter of the tickets needed!”

“What is it?”

Scar blinked. Joel was back to earlier, all that warmth and giggles replaced with… with something. Serious? Not mean, but firm. He looked away sheepishly, “There’s that… uh, Star Wars model? But! I don’t really want it. Nope. I’d rather have a plushie or—”

“I’m getting it.”

“Wai—”

Scar didn’t chase, the path was too narrow. But he could leave. He could leave while Joel flagged an employee, he could leave while Joel made the transaction, and he could absolutely leave while Joel walked over, the model in his arm. He could. 

“Here. Hold this for me. My arms are tired.” Joel held the box between them, could very easily drop it in Scar’s lap and walk away. But he didn’t, just like how Scar didn’t leave when he could. He stood, planted in place, giving Scar the chance to reject it. Scar didn’t. “So what now? Are you leaving?”

“Uh, yeah. My mom– She will pick me up soon. Do… Um, do you need a ride home?”

Joel shook his head, ran a hand through his hair as they walked out of the arcade, headed to the lift, “Getting picked up too. Just waiting for my brother to finish work.”

Scar nodded, rolling into the lift, “So…”

“Do you come often?”

“Often? No– No, no, I don—”

“I’ve seen you around often,” Joel said as he pressed the ground floor. Joel didn’t look at him, and Scar looked at the box in his lap. “You don’t usually stay that long though. What was different today? Was it them?”

“I… No… No, I just… I was on my way to the counter to get a card…”

The wait wasn’t long. The lot was bustling with people coming in and out of the mall, everyone too busy with themselves. Before the door could open, Joel dropped the card on top of the box and took a step back. 

“Well, I’ll see you at school, I guess.” Joel glanced at his phone, turning to walk back into the mall. “Oh, and I’ll see you here next Saturday too, I guess. Bye.”

The doors closed before Scar could respond. He looked forward to it though. 

_____

is scarjoel not their ship name why dont they have posts what is up with you tumblr 🧍‍♂️ slashjay. anyhow. i... i really thought theyd be more popular but i guess not. someone should change that (i say, looking in the mirror) also. i was thinking about it, and i should probably tag the fics by universe 🤔 like: hc, life, modern, fantasy etc etc. which i will do tomorrow when i get sad for not doing much to trick my brain into thinking i was productive 👌

[actualbird]

Hello! a bit nervous going into college moving out and all but what are your tips/advices/pet peeves…although its comforting to think that in this day and age Luke and Rosa had to deal the same stuff im dealing right now?! 🥹 -2006 bby

hi anon!! unfortunately i am NOT the best person to ask this question at all because i never moved out for college. in fact, ive never moved out in my life 😭 im filipino, we tend to not move out unless we get married or whatever sklbfksjfbdjsf

but i can give general tips for college i think!! it's been a while since i was a college student myself, so these tips are gonna be vague as hell though OTL

do your readings, do your papers, do your homework, dont use chatgpt or get someone else to write your stuff etc etc etc. if you made it to college that is a privilege and you shouldnt waste it!! take all the oppurtunities you can to learn and better yourself, college is the best time to do a lot of development in the brainzone and the skills you built in doing these will definitely be useful later on when youre looking for a job.

get into organizations or clubs or extracurriculars and whatnot, if you can handle it! you can develop in a whole lot of ways, not just academically. plus, it's a great way to meet new people too.

jumping off from that last bullet, definitely make time and reserve effort for meeting new people!!! which can be scary, but i met a lot of friends who are dear to me in college. i also met my girlfriend there! so take a chance and get to know the people you see every day, you may end up meeting some really cool people you'll cherish for a long time.

try to be honest with your professors if mental health stuff or other issues are getting in the way of your performance at school. i know there are Terrible professors out there, but in my experience, they are outnumbered by the professors who just genuinely want to see you do your best and graduate. if you cant handle something for good reason, send em an email. try to work with your professors and not against them.

dont be scared to change your mind. if you chose a major but halfway through you realize you want to shift studies? go for it, if your circumstances permit. you might as well follow your gut instead of regretting the decision you didnt make

i hope this helps!!! also, good god, you were born in 2006???? and youre 18 now????????? thats bonkers. that doesnt sound allowed. holy shit.

[seeminglydark]

good news! i finally got a job after being unemployed for a few years. it’ll be at least a year or two before i’m able to move out due to trying to pay off my credit card debt but i’m excited that i’ll be able to leave town and get away from unsupportive family. i’m trying to spend as little money as possible on entertainment stuff and i have a massive book collection that i’m excited to read and sell some of it i don’t feel like i need them anymore. you’re comics have been very helpful for me to be able to understand and express myself. it has given me a lot of joy since finding it especially after the loss of my cat a month ago.

any tips for a queer punk trying to escape and start over with no support system?

happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

ANON! I'm so proud of you, thats incredible! i am wishing you all the best on your journey forward and out. it sounds to me like you already have a good handle on things, paying down your debt is a great place to start. depending on how much debt you have, (most of my advice is US based I'm afraid, since thats where i grew up as a poor lonely punk so hopefully it can help you, or someone else) you may be able to find a financial counselor or coach, (not adviser!) to help you get rid of some of it immediately. there are ways to 'challenge' things on your credit that have been there for a while, and many times the creditors will either drop it cuz they dont want to deal with paperwork, or reduce it to a much smaller payable sum because to them something is better than nothing. a lot of cities has free nonprofit programs to help with this, and other non profit organizations offer them as well depending on your community. This will also help improve and build your credit score cuz even a punk might need to buy a home or rent an apartment one day.

i know there is an allure to big name cities when you move, i lived in one myself while poor as dirt and it kinda sucked (Austin tx specifically) because it was so expensive. look into where you want to go before moving there, look at cost of living, and public transit, things like that. it looks like youre waiting a while before going, look into job transfers so you might not have to start completely fresh from the bottom.

thrift stores are great but they are getting more expensive by the year, but when youre a poor guy in a new place, dumpster diving might be an option. please dont ever get a mattress from a dumpster ok? bedbugs are a thing and often why those are thrown out, but other things like tables, chairs, shelves etc. check your local papers and neighborhood boards, sometimes hotels and such renovate and when they do they auction furniture off dirt cheap. Thanks Mr Marriott for furnishing my house for like 40 bucks in 2005!

When you move out, if you are still struggling financially, you can look into fixed rent apartments, you usually have to get on a list, but there are places out there to help you get on your feet. a REALLY good resource for many things if going to be your local library. librarians are like gods and they know SO MUCH that can help you.

speaking of libraries. you do deserve a little joy, i would think about perhaps getting a electronic reader, did you know that you can rent books and audio books from libraries with one? plus it reduces the bulk of books you may have to move later. i know the vibe is different from getting to touch the pages, but the pleasure of reading is still there. The library is also going to be a great place to meet people and find a circle of support and new friends. many of them have clubs and community activities ranging from book clubs to everything in between, you can even suggest a club yourself that they might consider hosting. don't deprive yourself of happiness, itll be helpful on the days when it gets hard to move forward.

its been a hot minute since i was alone and starting over, and things have changed a lot so im not completely sure all of this is still relevant, library is ALWAYS a good place to start. if my followers have any advice, please feel free to chime in the comments as well! im so proud of you anon, and keep us updated as life goes on. <3

[transmascissues]

hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.

[7nsomnia]

can i ask, what’s wrong with dcc? i always hear that they kinda suck as a company, but from the vlogs i’ve seen, they’re one of the better companies. i’m not really as into dreamcatcher as some of the blogs on here even though i consider myself a stan, so i might not have the right information

okay. I feel like this is like opening my personal pandora box so this might be long. I'm pretty tired today so apologies in advance if this isn't very coherent asdkjh

dcc are a pretty decent company on a surface level, they treat the members well (which should be like the bare minimum for any company but I know that in this industry that's something to genuinely praise) and they actually change according/respond to negative feedback from the fandom etc when they or the members mess up (or they used to anyway).

for me it started in 2020 and how they handled handong's return. like the way they handled her absence was fine (good even, I would say), but the lack of hype for her actual return made things feel so underwhelming even though it was supposed to feel like a relief that she was finally back. I can't remember all the details anymore, but I do remember that the first time I felt like things were actually alright with dc was when they did the online concert crossroads in march of 2021. on that note I think most ppl were expecting ttol and dlm to be repackaged with ot7 versions and yet it's 2024 and they still haven't released them.

the handong stuff atp is water under the bridge tho, the group is fine, the members are fine, etc, I'm only mentioning it because that's when things started to feel really off for me.

so now we get into the actual things that happened that have left the fandom feeling burned out/frustrated/disconnected etc etc, whereas this happened to me at the end of 2022, I'm seeing more people now going through what I did back then:

I think the most pressing thing was that dcc didn't capitalize at all on dc's first win. they got their first win in april 2022 and didn't even do anything special in korea to commemorate it. it was a HUGE moment and they did nothing with it. usually after a group gets a first win you'll see them getting more promotions in korea, magazine photoshoots, mc deals, etc but dc just went on ahead to do festivals in europe and have a usa tour, these things are not bad but it was the lack of promotion in korea that in turn just made it all feel useless. that year dc also weren't invited to any end of year awards if I'm not mistaken so it all felt really disappointing and like all of the work we had as a fandom had been for nothing. I have to reiterate, dc/insomnias had been getting screwed over on music shows since 2019 with deja vu to get that first win, like I don't want to talk about the injustices the group and this fandom suffered through the years but it was a true story of resilience, so getting that first win in 2022 was a huge relief. to see it all going to waste was just... heartbreaking honestly.

when it comes to tours...... god I don't wanna get too much into it, but 4 tours in the usa in the span of 2 years is not normal. specially when they're prioritizing that over having a proper asia tour and the likes (AND promoting in korea??). latam tour is practically sold out rn and they're getting no merch or m&g benefits like the usa tour. I don't think doing exclusive things for a specific tour is bad per say, but you have to treat all your fans semi equally at least, specially for a group whose fanbase is majorly international (this will be important later), or it will happen what is happening rn which is ppl will leave the fandom. This is the first latam tour since 2019 (2017 for brazil!)... they've waited a really long time so personally (even tho this doesn't affect me bc I'm european) I feel like it's really disrespectful but wtv, onto other things.

now, speaking of the fanbase being majorly international, if this is the case, you'd think the company would make an effort to stream important events to their fans, like hmm the 7th anniversary concert perhaps? but nop, that didn't get streamed. a repetition of the dumbassery they did in 2022 where they split the concert and the members' solos in 2 days and only streamed one and so intl fans couldn't watch half the solo stages? and don't get me wrong, I think it's important that they have events that are korea only like they have the fansigns etc, but something as major as their 7th anniversary? when they've gotten here thanks to their international fans? that stings a little.

and lastly (maybe), we have dcc's usual lack of promotion during comebacks. fans always paying for ads, intl fans always doing the most for digitals even when it's Not their place (because this is smth that the korean fandom and dcc should be responsible for), fans having to reach out for vendors etc... Justice cb truly has been the culmination of the very worst promotions dcc has done tho and there have been some really bad promotions before... no radio shows, minimum interviews, barely any variety... were there even any ads? usually it's always fans paying out of pocket for ads. it just feels like throwing the members' and the company's work out the window for no good reason? Virtuous is one of their best albums and yet it feels like they just dumped it to go on tour again. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing btw, having short promotions in korea is fine but like... promote for real? give your fandom content that they can watch and rewatch for however long it takes your group to have another cb? specially now that it seems that they're shifting to one album per year (not sure this is their wisest decision tho all things considered), you have to make sure that you promote that album properly? which kinda also goes with like, giving your fandom enough time to save for what you release and put out, specially if you're not trying to grow the fandom anymore. if they're dropping an album then don't announce a tour on top of that, and if they're announcing a tour then don't announce a photobook on top of that, and if they've just released an album then wait longer than a month to announce a photobook, and if they've just dropped a photobook then wait a bit longer until announcing the re print of albums the fans have been begging you for 6 years to re print LOL bc all this does is frustrate fans who can't make that much money in such a short time and it's stupid. like. in 2018 I dropped like 200 euros for like their very first photobook BECAUSE I had time to save that amount from their you and I cb (may) to whenever it was announced (I think it was august), and that was the highest tier (so you could get it for much cheaper) and bc back then it was like. well they barely release anything other than albums, so it's fine (also shipping was sooooooo much cheaper I miss it everyday, ofc this is not their fault tho but anyways).

lastly actually, oh my god. that stupid ass app where fans pay a subscription to message the members privately? has been the fucking worst thing to happen to this fandom and the members imo. if fans weren't respecting their boundaries before, it's even worse now. but it's also like. yeah the members should be reinforcing those boundaries, and I get wanting to at least make a buck of those problematic type of fans but I just don't think it has been good for the members at all. I won't elaborate too much on this because it will genuinely piss me the hell off but bottom line: that app has been hell for everyone genuinely there is no bright side to it other than dcc makes money out of it. and there's better ways to make money :))))))))

anyway this is over 1k words atp and somehow I feel like this all just the tip of the iceberg and I probably have forgotten many things bc tbh in the past year I've just. been trying to make peace with it all and just accept things for what they are because dc have been really special to me for such a long time and I just don't want dcc's decisions to make me throw all of that away (like I almost did). I love their music, I love the members, and so I will continue to celebrate wtv right decisions dcc makes but I'm not going to pretend that they're a good company when it comes to business decisions bc they're really not