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#im fucking sick of it. im so tired. nothing changes.
grimmthorne · 6 months
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like this is so wildly stupidly unfair I guess that the more I talk about stuff with my therapist the more that everything happening gets to me now. i couldn't even be in the front of the house when my stepdad was about to walk in. I saw him and had to hide in my bedroom and im still hiding because im just sick of being so anxious and having to constantly be aware of where every item in my room is because it is always at risk of being taken or moved or stolen and then i get fussed at after. it's becoming paranoia. it's making my life miserable. it's making it impossible to leave the house without thinking all day about how I might have left a box or a book out or something. nothing is safe or private when your stepdad has a habit of snooping in your room and you don't have the ability to move out yet. and my mom is so fucking useless about it all and refuses to stand up to him ever. it's so stupid. I deserve better than this and I always have but I have just convinced myself that this is how it is and that's just ehat I have to put up with if I don't want to be basically homeless and have no money for school.
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reel-fear · 4 months
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
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5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
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Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
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7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
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He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
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So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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chiistarri · 4 months
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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star-ocean-peahen · 1 year
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im so tired so tired and im bored and i need some easy reward chemical for my stupid brain but i dont know where to get it
#i want to do something that matters but doesn't matter something that requires no effort but engages me something that has#long-lasting consequences but will also change nothing i want something that changes me but doesn't affect me at all#i want to feel things but i dont want to despair but no matter if i can feel things or not i despair anyway#ive been putting off sending an important email for a week and a half and just the thought of trying to put my thoughts in order#terrifies me#i want to read fic because i like it but i know that when i do i will only feel like im wasting time#i want to finish that drawing i was doing of my body horror dream i want to finish drawing my oc i want to finish the gifts for people#that are years late i want to send that fucking email#i want. to be able to do things again.#but i can't. i can't do anything but sit here and feel awful about everything.#i can't take care of myself i can't make myself feel any better i can't do anything that helps me im just. stuck here.#and nothing is real nothing feels real nothing feels like it matters nothing seems to be making a change#and i. i know the only cure for this is time. and rest.#but i can't rest.#i can't do anything but sit here and try to forget how miserable i am#im tired of pretending im ok. im tired of pretending im getting better.#im tired of pretending im doing okay so i won't blame myself for not fixing me.#im tired of pretending i have hope because GOOD sick people have hope.#im tired of the consequences of my inaction catching up to me then i have to deal with that when i couldnt deal with their cause in the#first place#i have so many tabs open and its slowing down my computer and phone. but i can't bring myself to go through them and finish my business#with them so i can close them.#im tired of my room getting dirtier and dirtier and nothing is organized properly and my sheets are falling off my bed but i can't remake i#im tired. im tired.#lassie vents#vent
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puppmeo · 1 month
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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legogender · 2 months
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finlays will see a terrible abusive dynamic in ninjago and be like 'is anyone gonna think abt that daily' and not wait for an answer
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faggot4faggothour · 8 months
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ohhh questioning the point of life again .
#likeeeee . Kind of hopeless if you ask me#time moves too fast. it fees like january passed in the blink of an eye.#i barely even recognize time passing. nothing i do matters. none of this is important. i want do something big but i never have the energy#i feel drained when i do fucking nothing all day. im such a fucking idiot and i cant even convince myself to care#i just. i dont even have an excuse. im just stupid and lazy and fucking pathetic#and doing any schoolwork makes me so fucking exhausted its pathetic#its pathetic. this is pathetic. i should be doing more. im supposed to do more. and i sit here and i think it#and i never end up actually fucking doing anything#im so stupid. im so stupid. im such a fucking idiot. i really should. i really should just fucking#im not. doing any good here. it doesnt fucking matter. it does not fucking matter#and if i could do anything maybe that would justify my existence. but i cant. i just fucking cant#i cant create anything meaningful. i cant make something beautiful. im always too fucking tired.#i cant make something beautiful. i dont have an excuse. im lazy and stupid and im so fucking tired for no reason#and i have the fucking gall to be happy. to exist happily like i fucking deserve it#i could fix this if i was better. if i was smarter and more capable and better then myself. i could fix this but im not#i could do it but i wont. and i keep not doing it and im so fucking pathetic#im just so fucking pathetic. its so pathetic. i should sit in this feeling. im supposed to. thats the only GOOD thing im capable of#but i wont. i fucking wont. ill seek out that stupid fucking comfort and make myself feel better about how pathetic i am and nothing will#ever fucking change. im so sick of me. im so sick of this. im a horrible thing to be.
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steampoweredskeleton · 8 months
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Ignore
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isaacathom · 2 years
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i feel like its a relatively simple request in my life to not have to hear or see anything with regards to one fucking wizard boy story every again. can i please go in peace. im so tired
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stardust-doll · 2 years
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babygirl-riley · 1 year
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Daddy’s Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird
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When coming home Simon hears his daughter start to fuss.
Warnings: angst, mentions of childhood trauma, fluff, swearing, Dad!Simon
simon x reader guide
simon x reader family edition
Simon was fucking tired, the mission was long and difficult. It took them 4 months to plan the fucker just for the target to know their every move. He lost lots of men and women those nights, they had to camp somewhere in the middle of the desert cause transportation got fucked.
He unlocked the door of his home and walked in. Immediately he heard the whimpering. Simon heard you trying to lullaby both of your toddler. Simon was told that she has been sick for almost 4 days. It was teething that led to two ear infections. His poor angel was getting her ass jumped left and right with them infections.
He took his mask and boots off leaving them on the shelf near the door. He locked the door as he made his way through the hallway. When getting closer he heard you sniffling. “I don’t know what to do baby girl,” The toddler cried harder as you cried with her. “I am sorry. What do you need baby?”
Simon tapped the door making you jump. At first you thought you were going to fight but then relief came through. “Simon,” You started to sob. “Just take a shower and I will be there in minute.”
“I can take her.” He said walking fully in.
“No,” You wiped your tears quickly before shaking your head. “It’s fine you just got home. Please just take a shower love.”
Simon nodded, he didn’t want to but he could tell if he didn’t you would burst. He saw the dark circles under your eyes, how red your eyes were. You haven’t gotten any sleep. That tugged at his best strings, you have been dealing with this all by yourself so he wants to be able to help you.
Simon quickly got into the shower, washing all the paint, blood, sweat, and dirt from him. He waited for a moment before turning the faucet off and get out. He heard your sobs once more as he wrapped the towel around himself. Opening the door that showed you laying on your side curled up. Simon walked up to you and sat next to your body. He placed a hand on your hip rubbing circles.
“Not the best welcome home,” You sighed turning to face him. “Im sorry.”
“For what love? Taking care of our child? Don’t ever apologize for that.” He reassured, basically whispering.
“Just me crying and Im so fucking tried. She doesn’t sleep nothing longer than maybe 5 minutes before she is screaming. And I wanted to give you a warmer welcome and instead buzzed you off and…”
“Thats enough sweethear’ it has been a long week for you,” He got up to grab sweatpants and went around to his side to pull the blankets up and over him. You watched as he laid and scooted closer to you wrapping his arm around you. “Come ‘ere, get some sleep my dove.”
He doesn’t remember when you fell asleep or even him. Simon heard the soft whimpers start, you didn’t move and he was glad that you didn’t. He was also very happy that you moved out of his grasp while in your sleep. Simon carefully and quietly headed out of the room. Rubbing his tired eyes as he made it to his daughter’s room.
When he approached the room there she was. Standing up in her crib crying, once her eyes landed on his she cried harder. “Daddy.” She called a couple of times.
“Alright princess, you’re alright daddy’s here.” He said picking her up.
It took him a back of how hot she is, sweat gripping her pjs. Her crying increasing as she gripped onto his shoulder. “Shhh I know,” He said bouncing up and down. “I know baby.”
He felt her diaper and walked to the changing table, which to her was a sin. When he placed her down she screamed a bit, immediately he gently placed a palm on her chest. Putting small pressure. She stopped screaming as she still cried. His daughter loved when he did that when she wanted to be cuddled yet when he had to do certain things like this.
Because of how many times he has done this with her, he one handed did the diaper. He left her only in her diaper, get some air to her skin due to sweating and her being hot. As she still cried, he picked her up and lead out of the room walking to the kitchen. “Let’s try a warm bottle and me a tea yeah?” He said quietly, holding her close as she still cried.
While working on the bottle he rocked back and forth waiting for the teapot to heat up. He wrapped both of his arms around her holding her more close. “I’m ‘orry my birdie, teeth are arseholes. I know.”
She held around his neck placing her head down on his shoulder. Simon kept holding on until the smallest noise came from the pot. He didn’t want to wake you, he was even surprised you haven’t woke up yet. His daughter became more whimpering than crying.
He poured his mug first so the water could cool down just a bit more. Then poured water into her bottle. He made his tea before finish making her bottle. Afterward he walked to the living room and placed the tv on. Miss Rachel was her favorite to watch lately, that’s what you mentioned.
He placed her forward towards the tv as he placed his mug on the side table. Simon held her close to him as she drank her bottle. Rubbing her belly as he watched the show with her. He hated this woman, just found her annoying, you mentioned to him that it was her job to do that fake high pitch thing. To him it just made him want to mute it and never see it again.
His daughter leaned closer to him as he sipped his tea. She sniffled and hiccuped due to crying the whole time. He smoothed her thick blonde hair back, making her eyes roll. Another thing she gets from him. People massaging his scalp or play with his hair he would pass out from.
After three videos both Simon and her were laying on the couch. He had her on his chest with a blanket on both of them. “Shh I know,” He said as she started to whimper again. “Daddy is here, don’t worry. He will stay. I would do anythin’ for you not to be in this pain.”
She sucked on her binki her eyes rolling fighting sleep. Yet another thing she got from him. Fighting sleep. Simon remembered when you told him you were pregnant with her. He was terrified. Scared that he wouldn’t be good to her, that he would turn into his own father.
Simon actually left for hours from the house making you think that it was a bad idea to tell him. Until he came back in tears, first time you seen him break down. Telling you his fears and worries. You would comfort him and hold him that he has never been an ounce of his father. Never be like him.
Simon remembered when he asked for his dad to hold him. His dad told him to stop being a child, to grow up. Or even watch him cry in pain and laugh at the fact he was crying. He even remember Tommy being hit for even mentioning that his throat hurt. Telling him that is something to be crying about when he was hurt.
Because of those memories he was going on for months in his mind that he didn’t believed that, didn’t believe that he would be a good father, it wasn’t until she was born. When he held her in his big hands. He knew that this was the opportunity to not be his low life father. And yet here he was being not that, his father would have never been comforting him when he was sick. Holding him. Loving him. He was grateful to be able to be here for her. For you. To show the love and care that he wanted to.
Simon sighed as he felt her breathing slow down, falling into deep sleep. He settled more down into the couch as he closed his eyes, holding on to his princess.
You woke up with the sun beaming into the room. You groaned as you placed a hand to where Simon would have been. It was cold. You opened your eyes and frowned. Was a dream that he was home? You sighed getting up and heading to your daughter’s room. For it to be empty too.
You walked around the house figuring out where the hell was your daughter. Which when you heard Miss Rachel on the tv and two figures on the couch. It made your heart swell. You walked to around to face both your daughter clinging onto her father. Simon softly snoring and his daughter as well. You forget how similar they look.
The soft features of when they slept. Their hair. Their nose. You also noticed that she was just in her diaper and didn’t look sweaty. You inhaled deeply feeling a bit of relief. Hopefully that means that her temperature went down and back to normal.
You smiled thinking about the time where you were almost about to pop. Simon holding your tummy telling your daughter that he will protect her with every ounce of his being. Not matter where or what she is doing, he will be there. You would play with his hair as he rubbed your tummy, feeling her move every time he would place a hand on your tummy.
You grabbed both bottle and mug, walking back to the kitchen. “Definitely going to be a daddy’s girl.” You whispered, starting to make breakfast for your perfect family.
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chaoticbardlady99 · 9 months
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I Wondered if I Could Come Home? (Astarion x Pregnant F! Reader) MDNI 18+ Part 2
CW: Smut, insecurities, pregnancy sex, PIV
Tag-list: @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @starstruck-mj-writings @divineknightmare
Part 1 is on my Masterlist :)
This is unedited because I’m tired 😂💜
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Photo belongs to @cheekylittlepupp on Tumblr
“These are all truly terrible options, Darling,” Astarion whispers into your ear, “I feel like putting anyone in this should be considered abuse.”
You try and fail to suppress the laughter- covering your mouth with your hand when another woman shoots you a glare. You should regret dragging Astarion in here, but you don’t. He’s right- this place has absolutely nothing adorable and you hate shopping here. You are very happy he shares the same sentiment.
This was an unplanned stop in the grand scheme of the evening. Astarion had insisted on taking you on a date the moment you woke up this morning. When you went to protest and say, “I look like a beached whale, no”- you were thoroughly kicked by Eowyn.
You picked the name Eowyn together a little over a month after Astarion first arrived. It’s almost month 7 now and although Astarion missed out for a few months- your daughter and him are already peas in a pod.
You disagree with Astarion? Kick. If you pick a book that doesn’t interest him? Kick. You get hormonal, angry, and Astarion sounds even slightly sad? You bet you are gonna be running to the bathroom to throw up. She’s a spiteful fucking kid and you cannot catch a break. You are the one carrying her and yet!
You suppose you can’t blame her though. You don’t want to give him any reason to leave anymore than she does. You know Astarion won’t leave again, but that worry is also silently there.
“Darling,” Astarion whispers, “come look at this atrocity.”
Astarion scrunches up his nose and picks up one of the other baby outfits. He looks at you with a “really?” and shows you a piece of fabric fashioned into a onesie with “Selune Loves Me”. You don’t even bother to suppress your snort of laughter.
“I have a horrible feeling that Shadowheart will be buying that for Eowyn,” you sigh.
“Oh no- not if I can help it!” Astarion puts the onesie back (he even folds it), “our kid is going to be a raging atheist and I will have it no other way!”
“And if she decides to be a cleric or a paladin?”
Astarion grumbles a “well that’s different” under his breath. He opens the door for you and bows dramatically as you walk through it. Astarion’s smile is brighter than the sun when you giggle.
“I’m glad you are willing to support all possible life paths, Star,” you tease.
“I will eventually convince her to change her mind,” he muses, “we’ll begin putting swords and instruments in front of her and hope she turns out better than Volo.”
You huff at him and roll your eyes. He intertwined his fingers with yours and you continued the rest of your date.
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You are laying in your bed- remaining absolutely still. Astarion seems like he is still sleeping?
Whatever sick fuck keeps adding spice into your life, has gifted you an incredibley real sex dream with Astarion. Again.
You told yourself you were going to behave- certainly not because you want to. It’s out of respect for Astarion and his boundaries. You don’t know what he’s been up to or if he would even want to while you look like this.
Oh wonderful- tears.
The hardest part of this whole pregnancy nonsense is that you don’t feel good about yourself or how you look. You didn’t necessarily have the best self esteem to start with, but your body changing in front of you almost every day wasn’t helping. You know your hips have gotten slightly wider and your breasts have gotten bigger. You try to be active as much as possible so you feel some control and you eat as healthy as you possibly can without lacking nutrients, but none of it felt like enough. You feel disgusting.
Your silent tears fall down your cheeks as you suppress your pitiful sniffling. If you close your eyes, you’ll eventually fall asleep. That’s what you usually do and that’s what you did when Astarion was gone. Sleep heals everything.
Maybe your body has finally had enough of pushing all of the discomfort back. All those feelings of being unwanted, unloved, and not like yourself are ripping you apart at the seams as they rush to your eyes.
You begin to move away from Astarion- deciding it would be better for you to sit in your little rocking chair and read for a bit. There is no reason to make yourself upset over something you can’t change. Your pregnancy will be over soon enough anyhow.
“Darling?”
Astarion’s voice pierces the silence and his fingers are clinging to your shirt as if to keep you there.
You clear your throat, “yes my Star?”
“Where are you going?”
Astarion sounds incredibly worried. It’s been hard for him to see you when you are sick or when you are obviously picking yourself apart in the mirror. Astarion is constantly worrying about your vertigo and you walking around without him or Shadowheart to catch you.
You told him that his worry isn’t necessary and that you would let him know if you were feeling dizzy or like you were going to pass out. You don’t want to bring harm to yourself or your child.
“I know you know your body, Darling,” Astarion says with his shoulders slumped and a slight frown on his lips, “I have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do, but please, my Love. I just found you again. I can’t even fathom the idea of-“
Astarion had broken down sobbing, then you began to cry, and then Eowyn was kicking so you caved and promised to let him know if you were leaving the room.
You roll over to look at him and his eyebrows raise in alarm. You hastily run the tears away and smile.
“I was just going to sit on the rocking chair.”
Astarion just squints at you and you avoid his gaze- looking up out the window.
“The moon is very pret-“
“Tav, why were you crying?”
Dammit. It’s the “I’m serious” Astarion voice.
“Oh uh,” you chuckle awkwardly, “I just had an interesting dream and it led to interesting thoughts- then TADA pregnancy hormones.”
Astarion flashes you a teasing smile before ghosting his lips over yours.
“Oh I am very aware of these ‘interesting’ dreams of yours, Darling. I’ve been waiting for you to finally ask me to re-enact a few.”
Your heart stops momentarily and you blink a couple times. There is no way you heard that correctly. You begin to tear up and Astarion’s brows furrow in concern.
“You don’t want that,” you say in a low voice, a stray tear rolls down your cheek, “I look disgusting.”
His lips are on yours in an instance- a whimper leaves your lips as you feel a warm stirring between your legs. It’s almost embarrassing how desperately your body wants him- craves him. Being kissed like this by him again is a blessing.
“I wish you would stop trying to guess what I want when it comes to you,” he sighs against your lips, “and I wish you could see how beautiful you are- all the time.”
“My body has just changed so much- to me anyway,” you whisper, “I worry that I’m not attractive to you anymore.”
Astarion grabs your hand with his and guides you down to the front of his underwear- opening your hand so that you palm against his erection. You blush furiously when he forces your eyes to meet his with his other hand. His pupils are blown wide with lust.
“Does it feel like I’m not attracted to you anymore?”
“No,” you whisper shyly.
“I want you desperately,” he places a chaste kiss on your lips, “As I always have.”
You feel embarrassed by the sigh of relief that leaves your mouth upon his confession. You want to be with him this way so badly it hurts. You hesitantly wrap your leg around his hip and you pull him in for a kiss.
Astarion’s lips are soft against yours. You keep a slow pace- unsure of how far he would be willing to go.
You find out pretty quickly when you feel his hands find your underwear- tearing away the fabric completely. You pout against his lips playfully.
“I liked those.”
“I’ll buy you a thousand more pairs, my Love.”
“But-“
The breath leaves your body when you feel his fingers begin to play with your clit. Astarion roughly presses the pads of his fingers against your clit- the additional friction making you keen in pleasure.
Astarion starts to pull away and your hands find purchase in his hair- pulling him back to you. Your desperation spurs him on and your lips are crashing against each other at a fast pace.
You feel him pull you back by your hair, making you look at him- you open your mouth to protest, but then you feel one of his fingers slide into you. Astarion pushes himself all the way into you with his finger until his palm is teasing your already sensitive clit. He must realize how ready you are for him because he enters a second finger and then a third shortly after.
The feeling of his fingers inside of you are intoxicating and the way he is looking at you is even more so. Your moans are on display for him to see- Astarion’s hand in your hair has yet to loosen as he finger fucks you relentlessly.
“So good, so perfect,” he says, “and I’m the only one who will ever have the pleasure of breeding you.”
Astarion’s words rip something inside of you open- you begin to clench around his fingers hard as your climax sinks into your body. His name falls from your lips like a prayer.
It probably is- if you are being entirely honest to yourself. Astarion looks ethereal under the moonlight that floods the room. His curls are mussed up a bit from sleep, his lips turned upward and slightly parted as he watched you be overtaken with pleasure.
Astarion leaves a chaste kiss on your lips and moves your hair out of your face. He sits up and pulls you onto his lap and traces the veins in your neck down to your collarbones. His hands meet in the middle to unlace your shirt all while making eye contact the entire time.
“Gods,” Astarion whispers as he kisses down your chest, “you are exquisite, my Love.”
You must have forgotten what it was like to be under Astarion’s lustful hands and loving gaze. Your dreams were nowhere like this.
You whine at the skin contact and you feel yourself clench around nothing. The feeling of his cold fingers running along your skin- how they tease and pinch your sensitive nipples. Astarion’s word of praise alone are enough to get you off.
“So needy.”
Astarion takes one of your sensitive nubs into his mouth- sucking and grazing it with his fangs. His other hand begins to trail downward as grinds his erection up into your unclothed, soaking folds.
“Have you missed me, Darling?” Astarion coos, “has no one else been able to make you feel this way since I’ve been gone?”
You know exactly what he is asking.
“Yes,” you say breathlessly, “because my hands are nowhere as skilled as yours.”
Astarion’s laughter fills the air and your body with joy. His hand moves to release his erection from his underwear. You gasp at the sight and your hand immediately goes downwards- you feel him growl against your breast when you swipe your finger through some of his precum.
You look down and his eyes are on yours as you put your finger between your lips, licking it clean.
Astarion moves his attention from your breasts- pulling you by your hair down to his mouth so he can taste himself on you. The other hand lines him up with your entrance before pulling you down by your hips at the same time he thrusts upward.
You see stars as Astarion grazes that perfect spot inside of you. His hands had untangled from your hair a while ago, both of his hands guiding your hips down so that you continue to take his full length.
“Astar- I’m going to- fuck,” you cry out as his fingers find your clit again.
“You are going to what, my Dear? I’m afraid I didn’t catch that,” he says teasingly, his thrusts getting sloppier as you clench harder and harder.
“I- I,” your eyes roll in the back of your head as you pitch forward, putting your face in the crook of his neck. Your moans reverberate through the room- your voice is almost guttural from the intense amount of pleasure you are experiencing.
Astarion’s orgasm followed yours quickly- his moans coming out ragged and incoherent as he fills you to the brim with his seed.
You kiss his cheek, along his cheek bone, and then back until you are in the crook of his neck again.
“You are the most incredible woman I have ever had the privilege to lay eyes on,” Astarion says fondly, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Star,” your blissfully fucked body relaxes against his.
You don’t remember when you began to fall asleep or when Astarion repositioned you so that you were spooning. The only thing you can recall is Astarion kissing your shoulder, neck, and behind your ear while whispering his gratitude and love for you into your skin.
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elsfairy · 11 months
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emi my love, can i request a scream! ellie or abby for halloween? i’m planning on writing one as well but i’d love to see how you’d pull it off. (amazingly ofc🤭)
oh my.... the way you’re trusting me with this..... 😳 me lowkey not knowing if you wanted smut, but we all know im a whore for it. for you, i did my best so i hope this is what you wanted, baby 💗
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄, 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 — a. anderson
Tonight was a cold evening, colder than usual, especially with it being Halloween. You had spent most of your afternoon going into the evening, slowly but perfectly getting together a little candlelight dinner for your girlfriend, Abby. It was your 2 year anniversary and you wanted tonight's dinner to be a lot more special than when it was your one year. Thankfully you hadn’t had kids and their parents knocking on your door, smiling and asking for candy so that gave you even more time to pick out the perfect outfit, find the best makeup looks and finish it off with the sweetest perfume.
There was only one slight problem in the plan you had ready for tonight . . . she was late. In fairness to her, she had to work a long shift tonight so you knew her schedule was going to be a little crazy but you only received the ‘i won’t be able to make it tonight’ text 30 minutes ago. You were defeated, you felt stupid and you were exhausted from spending so much time on your feet, trying to make something perfect for her, for you both, only for it to be ruined because she had to work late. It wasn’t unusual for her to be late, but it was weird because she promised she would be here. She even said she had an extra surprise for you, so why the sudden change?
At first, you were waiting for another text saying she was just kidding and that she would be home soon, but it never came. You had gotten tired of watching the minutes tick by on the clock in the kitchen from where you sat in the living room, and with a defeated sigh, you dropped the napkin you had resting on your lap, onto the table and pushed your chair out to make your way to the bedroom.
Your hand had just reached the door handle of your bedroom when the sound of your phone, the one you left on the dining room table, had started to ring which had you turning around, sprinting to it, hoping and praying that it was Abby and she had somehow managed to get someone to cover her shift to be home with you.
“Hello?” Your voice cheerful.
“What’s your favourite scary movie?” The voice, one you didn’t recognise came from the other side of the phone.
The smile you had on your face dropped, frustration and sadness took over quickly. Rolling your eyes at the stupid question, you continued your way to your bedroom. “I’m not in the mood for your questions” came your snarky, bitter reply. “How’d you even get this number?”
“Oh, c’mon everyone has a favourite scary movie”
“I don’t. I’m really not in the mood for this bullshit”
“Is that why you look so miserable in such a pretty dress?”
The air was suddenly knocked from your lungs, your body turning around abruptly as your eyes were looking everywhere. Confused about how this stranger, who you’ve never met, knows exactly what you’re wearing and just how fuckin’ miserable you look. “I don’t know what sick game you’re playing, but know that my girlfriend is on the way home from work, and i won’t hesitate to call the police. Do you hear me?”
Not wanting to entertain this douche any longer than you already had, you hurriedly hung up the phone, almost throwing it with how frustrated you were with how ruined this night had become for you. All you wanted was a nice night with the woman you loved, eating something you both adore and instead, you had some idiot prank calling you at your worst. It was indeed a shitty night and you wanted nothing more than to take a warm bath and sleep the night away. 
Your body had just reached the end of the bed when the sound of the floorboards beneath you had creaked. The only fucked up floorboard in the apartment that you had been telling Abby for months to try and sort out. It wasn’t your foot that caused it, you always avoided that one out of habit when your girl has been working all day, and tried to avoid waking her up in the early hours of the morning. The hair on the back of your neck stood quickly, and your body on it’s own accord turned just slightly to spot the figure— a tall, broad-shouldered figure standing in your doorway. Face covered with a mask you thought was familiar but couldn’t really name right now, and their head tilted, just watching you.
For some reason you didn’t feel panic, your heart was racing sure, but the longer you both just watched each other, you didn’t feel any need to instantly throw something at your intruder. However, the panic raised in you slightly when the figure took one step forward as you took one back. A subtle yet soft gasp had slipped past your lips when your back gently knocked into the wall, your hand trying to grip something to stop yourself from falling flat on your face. “Careful, wouldn’t want you falling over on me now”
The voice sounded like one you had recognised but it was so muffled by the current mask, it was making it hard for you to understand and put your finger on it. Your heart picked up the pace and started beating a little faster, where the fuck was Abby? Why were you not screaming? Trying to push them away? Something about them seemed so . . . comforting but maybe you were just slightly delusional from the half glass of wine you had.
You hadn’t realized you had zoned out slightly until the feeling of fingers grazing your jaw, pulled you out of your trance, your lips part at realizing just how close they are to you. The feeling of them being so familiar with you still resides in your chest, and it isn’t until you hear that fuckin’ breathless chuckle that your knees buckle.
“Abby?” 
“You really think i would stand you up on our anniversary, baby?”
You simply couldn’t focus on what she was saying because you were too focused on the hand she had groping your tits, somehow already pulling your dress down to get a view of them, her fingers pinching at your already hardened nipples, while her other hand is sliding up your dress, already slipping into your panties. With a groan she leans more into you, pushing you more into the wall, the feeling of your slick covering her fingers. “Jesus Christ, you get so fuckin’ wet. This turn you on that much?”
With the way her fingers were rubbing circles on your clit, spreading your slick over your folds, and how good her hand was on your tit, you couldn’t form one correct sentence, and the only thing that you were letting out was whimpers and whines into her shoulder, nails bluntly digging into her arm. “wanna see you, please? please let me see you Abs” You beg softly, your back arching off the wall when those thick fingers tease your hole.
“Yeah? c’mon then pretty girl, take it off for me”
The second those words came from her mouth, your hands moved quickly, gripping the bottom of the mask, and pulling it off swiftly. Her blonde locks cascade down her shoulders, flyways framing her face, and your heart melted at the sight of her blue eyes looking at you with such a soft look, and a grin making it’s way onto her face. “Knew you were freaky, but not this freaky”
Before you had time to defend yourself or bite back at her words, she slipped her fingers inside your cunt, your walls instantly trapping them and the action caused her to grunt into your neck, while you were gasping out her name softly at the intrusion. The sounds leaving you were driving her crazy, and sending her brain into a frenzy. You always made the prettiest sounds, and she would keep doing everything possible to hear them.
Resting her forehead against yours, the squelching sound your cunt was making rang through her ears loudly and she could feel her own cunt clenching around nothing at how good you felt, how good you sounded, and how pretty you begged “Say my name, baby” She whispered breathlessly against you.
“Abby . . ”
Rubbing your clit with her thumb, you almost felt winded at the extra attention, and Abby was quick to remove her hand from your tits, to wrap her arm around your waist to keep you up, and steady. You had to use all your remaining strength because her touch always did make you fuzzy and light-heade, to cling onto her, while her eyes darted between your pretty lips that parted with such soft moans, and down where she watched her fingers disappear inside your cunt.
Your hand had caught her wrist quickly when her thrusts sped up just slightly, grinding yourself into her touch, your legs fell even weaker when she chuckled in your ear, her fingers still pumping in and out of you at a fast but gentle pace.
“Good, because it’s the only thing you’ll be screaming tonight”
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julilovesyou444 · 1 year
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hotel room ~ tom kaulitz
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background- you drank too much and ended up not feeling great. you asked bill if you could go back to his room and he said sure and handed you a key card. you went back to the hotel but couldn’t quite remember what room number he said. you scanned a couple rooms until one of them finally opened. someone comes into the room, but it isn’t who you are expecting.
warnings - mentions of drinking, just fluff ♡
english isnt my first language, I learned at 10 so please go easy on me lol
~
I stumbled down the hallway, holding my heels in my hand. my head was throbbing and I felt so sick. I had one too many at the bar. thankfully, my bestfriend gave me the key to his hotel room so I could go rest. if I hadn’t stopped drinking, I probably would’ve thrown up on someone’s shoes.
yuck.
I got to the few doors I had narrowed it down to a few doors. bill had told me which room it was, but to be honest, I could barely hear him over the loud music. he had two keycards in his hand and he didn’t seem like he knew which was which. I walked up to the first door and put the card against the little sensor on the door. red light. fuck.
next door. red light. fuck again. I knew if I kept scanning the card on random doors it would eventually deactivate. I held my breath as I scanned it against another door.
green light! my luck was finally turning around. I pushed through the door and let it shut behind me. I dropped my heels and sighed as I made my way to the bathroom. I slipped off my tight dress that was pressing way too hard on my stomach. I looked at myself in the mirror. My makeup was smudged and my hair was messy. I walked back into the room and looked around for a suit case. I found a duffel bag beside the bed. My vision was blurry, I could barely see what I was looking through. After looking for a minute or two, I found pajama pants and a random white tee shirt. It didn’t really look like something Bill would wear, but I didn’t think too much of it. I also thought Bill wouldn’t mind if I took a pair of his pajamas, seeing as he borrowed my clothes all the time. I went back into the bathroom, washed my face, let my hair down, and used the mouth wash that was on the counter. I obviously wasn’t going to use his toothbrush, but I wanted my teeth to at least be a little clean. I grabbed my clothes and put them in a small pile on the floor before flopping onto the bed. I got under the sheets. I noticed that the bed didn’t really smell how Bill’s normally did. I was too tired to care. I fell asleep within minutes.
~
“shh, c’mon.”, a girl giggled.
“okay, okay, I’m coming.”, a guy responded. The hotel door shut.
“Um… who is that in your bed?”
“Oh shit. Bill gave her the wrong fucking key.”
“What do you mean?”
“Fuck, nothing, you just need to leave.”
“What?? Why?”
“We can’t do anything tonight, sorry.”
“Just kick her out?!? Do you even know her?”
“Hey, i said get the fuck out, so leave!”, he whisper yelled.
“Whatever, so fucking weird.”
The hotel door shut again.
My eyes were still closed and I was still partially asleep, but I had heard part of the encounter. I lifted my head out of the pillow it had been resting on, eyes still shut and brows furrowed.
“Bill? Should I leave? You can bring her back. Im sorry, Bill.”, i sleepily and drunkenly rambled. I heard footsteps quickly make their way over to me. A soft hand gently pushed my face back down onto the pillow and shushed me.
“No, no, it’s okay. Just go back to sleep, it’s okay.”, he comforted me.
“Okay, im sorry Bill. I just felt so bad. I also borrowed your pajamas, i dont think I’ve ever seen this pair before, they’re comfy.”, i sleepily mumbled as his hand caressed my cheek.
“it’s okay, you can go back to sleep.”
“can you sleep with me? I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”
there was no answer for a minute. I didn’t take much notice as I had my eyes closed and was on the brink of falling back asleep.
“okay.”
I listened as I heard him change into different clothes and brush his teeth. I felt the bed shift under his weight as he laid down next to me.
my eyes fluttered open for a split second, and I could somewhat tell that he was on top of the covers.
“you can get under the covers.”, I murmured.
it took a second, but he got under the covers next to me. I could feel his warmth, it was comforting.
I turned over and scooted myself closer to him, my head next to his chest. I wrapped my arm around him. Bill and I had been friends forever, and we were rather affectionate, in a purely platonic way.
“Goodnight.”, i whispered as i went to pet his hair. I immediately took my hand back and opened my eyes narrowly. I looked up and realized the man next to me was not in-fact Bill. It was Tom. I put the dots together. Bill gave me the key for Tom’s room on accident. I was wearing Tom’s clothes. I accidentally had Tom miss out on a fuck, one of the many things he was notorious for. I was surprised he wasn’t mad at me for ruining his night.
“Tom?”, i asked groggily. My arm still draped over him, but I was no longer touching his hair. His expression was soft, almost worried. His eyes searched mine for any discomfort.
“Is this okay?”, he asked quietly. I thought for a moment. I was always good friends with Tom, but there was always a sort of tension between us. Something that kept us from being able to do things like hug or stuff like that. We used to do it all the time when we were younger, but now? Never. Usually, I would barely touch Tom. We joked around and talked all the time. He probably knew me just as well as Bill knew me. I didn’t expect him to kick out his date for my sick-ass, though. This was new for me. But I liked it. I liked being this close to him, it felt nice.
I nodded.
“Are you okay?”, i asked, mainly referring to the fact I was right up on him. A very small smiled formed on his face as he nodded his head, gazing down at me.
I mumbled an okay before snuggling my head into his chest. I wondered why he was letting me do this. This wasn’t us. I wasn’t complaining, just a little confused. I took a breath in and immediately recognized that the smell from the bed was Tom’s smell. I just never got too close to him so I didn’t know. He snaked his hand around my waist and pulled me a little closer. I breathed in quickly, surprised by his little maneuver. His hand made slow circles on the small of my back.
“Are you feeling any better?”, he whispered. I didn’t even know that he knew I had left because I felt sick, let alone care.
“I am now.”, i replied, muffled into his shirt.
“Good.”
I couldn’t help but smile. He continued to rub my back until I fell asleep in his arms.
~
I sat up quicker than I ever had before. I gasped for air and opened my eyes. I started to catch my breath. I felt Tom sit up next to me, his hand on my back.
“Are you okay?? Are you sick again?”, he asked, concerned.
“No…no… bad dream… I had a really bad fucking dream.”, i said in between breaths. I held my face in my hands, feeling more embarrassed than ever. First I showed up in his room, ruined his one-night stand, and now i woke him up because of my stupid nightmare.
“I’m so sorry. I ruined your night, I should leave.”, i mumbled. I wanted to leave so he couldn’t see my face. I was so upset at myself. I began to overthink every single thing that had happened.
“What? No. Don’t go. Its way too late. How do you think you ruined my night?”, he moved himself closer to me. I felt embarrassed having to explain to him, but it didn’t seem like there was much of another choice.
“I came into your room, I made your date leave, I mean I stole your fucking pajamas, I probably forced you into sleeping next to me, we literally never touch so why now, and I just woke you up. I feel so stupid, I’m sorry.”, I apologized again. Maybe it was the alcohol that was making me so emotional.
“No, no, no. Its okay, i wasn’t that into her anyways. You can keep the pajamas, i dont really care. And I wanted to sleep with you, I wanted to touch you. I do want to touch you, I just get… shit, how do I say this? Fuck it, i get nervous, okay? It has nothing to do with me not wanting to touch you, trust me, i do. And Bill has told me about your nightmares before, it’s okay. Its not your fault. You are just still drunk and overthinking things. I want you here, so just lay back down. It’ll be okay.”, Tom responded, very lightly pushing me to lay back down. I resisted at first but very quickly gave into his warm touch. I was instantly reassured by his words, even though part of me still remained unsure. I turned onto my side, away from him. He positioned himself right behind me, practically spooning me. He started to run his fingers through my hair. It was quiet for a couple minutes, just peaceful. I felt okay.
“do you still like this?”, Tom whispered.
“Hm?”
“Dont you remember? When we were kids and you would sleepover, most of the time you couldn’t fall asleep, so I would play with your hair until you did.”
“Oh, I hadn’t remembered until you reminded me. To be fair, you’re a rockstar now. You have different priorities, like the band and girls. I’ve read the articles and seen the pictures. We don’t hangout too much anymore.”, i laughed a tiny bit into the pillow. He kept stroking my hair, but he didn’t say anything. It made me nervous. Did I cross a line or something?
“You’re right. My life has changed. A lot. But I’m still me, and you’re still you. We are still the kids we used to be, even though I may not seem like it because of the way everyone views me. As long as that’s true, you’ll always be in my life, same with Bill’s.”
“Why are you so sweet, Tom? I kind of thought you weren’t based on your whole “womanizer” persona.”
“That’s how everyone sees me, so I figure why not live up to their expectations. It’s different with you. You actually know me for me. Not the me from the tabloids”
He pushed his arm underneath me and pulled me back, flush to him. His other hand, still playing with my hair. I felt so relaxed, but somehow still a little nervous, being this close to him.
“It’s late, you should go back to sleep. You’re okay, you aren’t going to have anymore nightmares or anything. I’m right here. If you need anything, you can wake up and tell me, i wont be upset.”
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Goodnight, Tom.”
“Goodnight.”, he quietly replied.
I felt myself completely ease into his hold, and melt into his touch as he pushed his fingers through my hair, just like he did when we were kids. I was glad that I knew this version of him. His genuine, sweet, self. I knew things would probably go back to the way they were in the morning, so I savored everything second that I got to be with him. I forgot about my embarrassment and let myself fall asleep in his arms.
I wished we could stay like that forever.
~
a/n ~ first thing I’m writing on tumblr!! not rlly sure how this all works but if you read I hope you enjoyed !! more to come <3
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mayonnara · 21 days
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i just blocked a lot of people. if you got blocked, i'm sorry, but im just exausthed. i'm tired of this fandom and the random dick riding you all decide to do for shooters
i still remember the time i said that the postal community had a huge problem with tcc shitheads and all that i got was someone telling me i should respect them but when someone else does it they get hundreds of notes and people applauding them. thats just common sense, people just listen to artists because they make good art. theres genunely horrible people in this fucking fandom and it's horrible
you guys are worse than the GENSHIN FANDOM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?? NOT EVEN SOUTH PARK FANDOM IS THIS BAD
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this is just normalized and it makes me so fucking sick
i'm going to be blocking anyone else who i deem necessary. i might still post about postal dude but rarely.
some of the people i met here were so genuine and sweet. what happend? was i just not seeing any of this? anyways, i never want to look back at this point of my life. i'm scarred and nothing will change that. at least i now had a learning oportunity.
i bid a farewell and a middle finger to you all.
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lvoire · 1 year
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☆ ⧽ save a horse, ride a cowboy
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˓ˏ✶ˋ˒ taehyun x fem reader ! 1.6k words
˓ˏ✶ˋ˒ smut! 18+ only mdni!! intentional lowercase , asshole tae 👎 , weird alcohol potion , oral (reader receiving) , piv , protected sex!! , typos (not proofread)
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everyone had been staring at him all night. everyone, including you. the cowboy look just worked on him so well! he loved the attention from it, from all the girls at the party. it made you sick. you shouldn't be feeling like this.. he's your best friend! nothing more! so why did seeing him making out with some girl in an angel costume piss you off so much?
you scoffed as you watched them, finishing off the last of your drink. you walked off into the kitchen to get another refill of the weird, red concoction gyu made. it was nasty! probably lethal! but it did the job of distracting you from the porno in the other room. "what's got you so upset?" fucking hell! you jumped at the presence suddenly next to you. turning your head you notice the semi concerned expression of your best friend. "one, don't sneak up on people like that... and two, im not upset. just disgusted at this" you paused to shake your cup around in a circle, "nightmare of a drink." he laughed. god, you loved his laugh. it was like listening to a choir of angels! it was so perfect just like him.
"hellooooo?" he waved his hand in front of your face. you shook your head, turning around so your lower back is against the countertop. "sorry im just tired." you looked around the two of you for the girl he was making out with. "where's the uh, angel?" he froze a bit, "she.. left?" your eyebrows furrowed, what kind of idiot would leave when they're making out with the taehyun! the most popular guy in your school─the whole city! "what did y-" "let's just go." he grabbed your wrist, dragging you out of the kitchen and barely giving you enough time to put your cup down. he pulled his phone out as he was taking you outside. "hey, what's going on?" he ignored you as he called an uber for the two of you. "tae??" it was like he couldn't hear anymore. his whole mood changed so quickly in the kitchen out of nowhere. it kinda scared you. what could've spooked him like this? you were so consumed with your thoughts you didn't even realize the uber had gotten there. he opened the door for you to get in first. you mumbled out a quick thanks, still weirded out from the sudden change in tone for the night. the silent drive went on for what felt like forever. the traffic didn't help. though, it did give you a chance to stare at him in that stupid costume. the black hat complimenting his hair color perfectly, the denim shirt that was almost all the way unbuttoned, the matching jeans that showcased just how big his thighs were. all of it could make you cum on the spot!
he noticed you staring after awhile, choosing to ignore it because you were probably just spacing out, right? he shook your shoulder to let you know when you got to your shared apartment. you grabbed your purse and thanked the driver as you got out. you followed closely behind tae, looking for your keys as you two walked up the 2 flights of stairs to your floor. you handed him the keys as you took your heels off when you reached your floor, not wanting to be in them any longer. as soon as the door closed behind yall, he pounced on you. his lips were on yours and you couldn't believe it! your purse and shoes fell to the floor so you could wrap your arms around him. he signaled for you to jump up and wrap your legs around him. he carried you to his room, gently laying you on the bed. your heart was racing! you didn't realize just how much you wanted this until it started happening. he lifted your skirt up, getting clear access to your panties. he noticed the small wet patch and smirked. he grabbed the hat off of his head, handing it to you. you instantly wrapped your arms around it, the idea of him giving you something of his made you so happy. he grabbed the sides of your underwear, pulling them off and stuffing them in his pocket. his hand went right to where you needed it most. his thumb hovered over your clit, teasing you. he wanted you to beg for him.
after a few seconds of him not doing anything you gave in and whined out for him to do something! anything! he chuckled at you. deciding to not be mean, he pressed his thumb onto your clit, moving in smooth circles. you let out a shaky breath, still in shock at what was happening. "fuck.." he moved his thumb faster, aiming to get you close to your release but then taking it away before you could have it. the whine that left your throat filled him with pride.
he leaned close to you, inhaling your scent. his arms snuck under your thighs, holding them in a tight grip as he licked a long stripe through your folds. "oh shit!" your hand shot up to your mouth, wanting to try and be quiet for your neighbors. throwing the hat somewhere on the floor, your other hand went down to his head, your fingers getting tangled into his hair. you pressed his head closer to your core, desperately needing this release. his tongue was fucking magical. you came at an embarrassing speed. new record for him though!
he stood up, using his sleeve to wipe his mouth. he pulled you up by your arms, your head at his chest level. he instructed you to help him get undressed. you unbuttoned his shirt all the way, letting it fall to the ground as you stared at his body. you were drooling over him. you were actually drooling! you undid his belt and pulled his jeans down, leaving him in his boxers. he walked around to the side of the bed, opening the nightstand drawer and pulling out a condom.
he pulled his boxers off, letting his 'legendary' dick out. the rumors were definitely true.. he opened the packaging, sliding the condom on and climbing on the bed. he laid back, signaling for you to climb on top of him with his hands. you quickly shed your clothes before crawling onto him. you straddled his waist, lining him up with your hole, and sinking down on him. a deep groan fell from his lips, his eyes rolling back into his head. his hands instinctively went to your sides, guiding you up and down. your hands landed on his chest. his beautiful chest. he worked out almost all the time and it definitely paid off!
you rolled your hips, wanting to have some control over the situation. he quickly took over again. his hands held your hips down, showing which one of you was in charge. you rolled your eyes and leaned down, going straight for his neck. you left marks all over. claiming him as yours ─ at least in your mind. he thrust up into you, harshly bringing your hips down at the same time. loud moans filled the room (and your neighbors rooms..). you felt like you were gonna cum again, the familiar knot in your tummy returning for the second time that night. "'m gonna cum!!"
"yeah? go on, cum for me." that was all you needed to hear. your orgasm hit you like a bunch of bricks. your eyes squeezed shut and your legs tried to close around his waist. he finished soon after, pulling out to throw away the condom. he came back and cleaned you up, tucking you in and kissing your forehead as the two of you fell asleep.
you woke up the next morning confused as to why you were in his bed until you remembered the events from last night. you were the happiest you could ever be. you finally realized your feelings for your best friend and he realized his for you! you looked around for the said male, noticing the side of the bed he slept on was empty. you got up, grabbing his button up and throwing it on. you heard a voice as you got closer to the door. you knew it was tae and you assumed he was on the phone so you just stayed quiet and listened in.
"yeah, after the angel girl left i needed to fuck someone so i went with y/n. no! not at all, hah! just needed to get my dick wet." you couldn't believe what you were hearing. you thought last night was special! you thought you meant something to him! it broke your heart hearing this.. you two had been friends for years and last night was supposed to be the start of your relationship! you looked around his room, getting all your stuff except your panties, forgetting he had them and most likely hid them in a drawer with others. you opened the door as loudly as you could, trying to make yourself known. "oh.. i gotta go. see you later?" he hung up with whoever he was talking to and shoved his phone into his pocket. "morning, pretty." you just gave him a hum, trying to get to your room as fast as possible.
your bedroom door shut behind you, blocking out all the pain he caused. you threw your stupid costume on the floor and ran straight to your bathroom, needing to wash all the memories of the previous night away. you scrubbed and scrubbed in the shower, tears falling down your face as you realized how stupid your were. you leaned against the wall, sinking to the ground. how could you be so stupid?
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