#im fucking mad st this ending but whatever

[90ekz]

butter me up ☆ g. satoru 

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47 : black reader, lovesick!gojo, choking (m. receiving), name calling (baby, slut), biting, degradation, slight objectification, overstim, kink discovery, switch!gojo, jealousy/claiming, lowercase intentional, nipple play.

an. i hope yall like this cause i feel like it sucks so bad but 😵‍💫😵‍💫 enjoy!

he did it on purpose.

satoru knows how annoyed you get when he wears those tight compression shirts. he knows just how much you hate the way other people ogle at him, but come on.

he’s only wearing them to work out!

“come on, it’s just for the gym. you’re being dramatic.”

you rolled your eyes at his lack of empathy. satoru’s problem is that he doesn’t know just how attractive he is. sure, he’ll fake cocky just to be annoying, but he doesn’t really know.

he’s completely unaware of the way women eye his bulging arms and chest. satoru is a complete beefcake, and he’s bouncing-off-the-walls happy at the chance to show that off.

especially with these dumb fucking shirts. asshole.

“just for the gym. sure.”

“if it’s that serious, then come with me,” your interest might have been ever so slightly peaked at this idea.

“and, well… if you get jealous at any point, i’ll make it up to you. how ‘bout it?”

satoru placed both hands outside of your body, leaning into your personal space with that.. dumb smile on his face. you hoped that he could tell how hot your face was getting.

“whatever.”

you were nervous.

part of you was hoping that you were wrong, just so you didn’t have to sit through an hour and a half of watching your boyfriend get eyefucked by other women.

but another part of you really wanted to see what kind of apology satoru had in mind.

he rubbed circles into your thigh the whole ride there, often times brushing against your clothed slit. you heard him chuckled lowly when you brushed him off.

when you arrived, you kept an eye out. as he started one of his sets, he noticed how hard you were scowling. he paused to stroke your chin delicately.

“‘gonna get wrinkles if you keep that up. ‘s okay baby.”

you couldn’t help but melt into his touch a little bit. it was annoying, he always knew how to sweet talk himself out of any situation.

you didn’t see much of anything to be concerned about, especially since you were focused on your own workout. you were pretty satisfied to say the very least, cause no one needed to be eyeing your man but you.

satoru was looking increasingly more smug as time passed, even full blown grinning by the time you two were leaving, until some girl he apparently knew came up and literally barreled herself into his plush chest.

she chatted with him while occasionally squeezing his biceps as if it was second nature, not even sparing you a glance.

thankfully, satoru spoke up about how you two needed to get going, but the damage had already been done.

the car ride was eerily quiet on both ends, brief words only being exchanged when he pulled into the driveway.

“told you.”

“that had nothing to do with the shirt, though! she’s just touchy!”

you knew satoru was a friendly person, so you couldn’t be too mad at him. but you still had the right to have an attitude. at least for a little bit.

he trailed behind you into your apartment muttering profuse apologizes. you weren’t hearing him. you just slumped into the couch.

“the silent treatment? really? i already said im sorry, ma. what else do you…” before you could react to his words, satoru was smirking and peppering kisses on your neck.

he knew how sensitive your neck was, and you immediately had to choke back your giggles.

“st-stop! what are you doing?!”

“i did say i’d make it up to you, didn’t I,” satoru grinned down at you from his position, and you couldn’t help but feel shy at the clear glint of something suspicious in his eyes.

“mm? how so?”

“you tell me.”

you knew those words. the silent permission for you to take control, to have your way with him. they weren’t spoken often. it made you smile, knowing he was letting you, that he was trying to be better.

you eventually ended up on top, and found yourself reaching under satoru’s shirt to caress his chest. he groaned as soon as your delicate fingers came into contact.

“what would all your lil fans think if they saw you like this? hmm?”

“f-fuck.” you could feel his cock hardening against your back at this point, all from the stimulations to his nipples.

he’d always been sensitive there. satoru violently twitched under your touch as your tongue swirled around his buds.

“cmon.. get these off already.” he tugged at your pants stubbornly, causing a smirk to slip on your lips.

“don’t rush me slut. you said you’d make it up to me, right?”

you couldn’t possibly miss how a shiver violently wracked his body at your degradation. you didn’t know he was into that, guess he was hiding huh?

your pussy ground down onto his cock while you watched for all the little sounds and movements you could draw from him.

satoru whined at each movement against his cock, loudly begging you to just put it in already. “aww, poor baby… you want me to help you?” satoru nodded hastily, not wanting to wait another moment to be inside you.

when you finally pulled your pants and panties from your silky pussy, satoru couldn’t help but smile. you were wet enough for him to slip right inside you, which he did. he cooed at your reaction to the stretch.

“where’d that attitude go? you seem like you want my help more than anything..”

you couldn’t respond, considering how busy you were pulling your hips up and slamming them back down. you couldn’t figure out if that motion was too much for you to continue, but satoru made the choice for you.

his hips pistoned into yours suddenly, successfully knocking all the thoughts from your brain.

“shit—look at you, baby, such a mess f’me.”

“fuck—‘toru, g’nna break me!”

the room was spinning with the force of how hard his cock was splitting you open, leaving you with nothing to hold onto. your hands eventually found satoru’s neck, and you didn’t miss how breathy his voice got.

“fuck, fuck, fuck! ‘perfect baby, ‘s perfect..”

you squeezed a little harder, resulting in those pretty blue eyes rolling to the back of his head, which only pushed you that much closer to the edge of release.

satoru’s cock pushed against that soft, spongy spot inside of you one, two, three times and you were spasming around his cock with no warning.

he breathed in deep once your hands got loose enough, but he didn’t dare stop his thrusts.

“want every one to know ‘m yours baby. only you—shit!”

when your teeth sunk into his shoulder, satoru melted, finally spilling deep inside of you. overstimulation set in your bones as you felt his raw cum fill your womb.

you were so ruined, and satoru wasn’t any better.

“d’you accept my apology?”

“hmm. depends on if you do one more favor for me.”

watching women look at satoru wasn’t as been when they were staring in jealousy at his bite marks, cause they knew who made ‘em.

[hey-its-danny]

Alright you finished Azran Legacy? Okay. Answer this question: what are our thoughts on Emmy Altava?

alright listen and listen close. she had a fantastically strong introduction in spectre’s call, i LOVED her in the movie, he was serviceable in miracle mask (though i blame that completely on the narrative not compensating for her so she got sidelined) and also she was so cute in the door to st mystere and monte dor content. i actually have a google doc describing my deeply intricate reading of her character, and i hold her dear to my heart.

sadly, her treatment in azran legacy was the narrative equivalent of a pile of dookie ass farts, and i’m so sorry for her.

1. her playful banter with luke was almost completely missing despite it being the highlight of her dynamics in the previous two games. and like, as far as dynamics, there was so much potential for her relationship with sycamore!!! god they wouldve fucked it up crazy style!!! they even implied it, but refused to back up the notion with meaningful interactions between the two. even after the end game reveals. its almost like the game wasnt paced to compensate for that, crazy.

2. her character was stunted until the last cutscenes of azran legacy (like the rest of the cast, though it was obviously most egregious for her, hershel and sycamore). for my thoughts on that, i’d need a whole post, but i do just wanna say luke was great in the final moments of the game up until the final cutscenes. even with emmy, who like. i could feel the desperation as she had to abandon luke without answers, i again wish we could explore that but okay. whatever. im not mad

3. everything in hoogland. i might dedicate another post to that alone but for now just know i thought her behaviour was childish and ignorant, as well as somewhat out of character. i would’ve been more fine with it if hershel stepped in to stop her, but he didnt, so i can only assume level 5 wanted me to agree with her actions which 🤷‍♂️ nah i dont.

TLDR; emmy rocks, i love her, hoogland never happened

[friedesgreatscythe]

i had a coffee at 5PM so my dumb ass is still Alert at a quarter to midnight lmao. as long as i finish this notebook tonight, i'll be Content. the rewrites demanded i write new things so i can make sense of what i have to redo, and it's been a bit intimidating, going off the rails like that for this draft. but i'm determined to get to the end of this rewrite, no matter how sloppy it is, by april 19th (because next draft is for further polishing). my therapist comes back that day after a month break, and we decided my homework during his absence is going to be all about holding myself accountable to progress, which includes working on this draft and finishing a rewrite this year.

plus it's the release date for taylor's album, and it kinda feels serendipitous to finish this novel draft on the same day an album with the name tortured poets department comes out.

other than that, i've been doing quite well. tapering off of effexor (venlafaxine) is going well. now that i'm taking b12 and vitamin d on top of the multivitamin i'm already taking, i'm feeling a LOT better. i'm continuing to take care of my mom, whose cast is coming off later this week. not sure if she'll be fully healed by then, but at least the cast is coming off. my sister is enthusiastically invested in ffxiv, which couldn't make me happier (and once i get steady income i'll get back on ps+ and play eso with her, so she can be my mentor and guide me through!). she's also watching game grumps more, which is so fucking exciting because NOW I CAN CRACK JOKES WITH HER WHEN WE HANG OUT AND SHE'LL GET THEM FJDLKS it's taken us literally 20 years, two fucking decades, but she and i are finally getting along and are friends. i can finally connect with larissa about things we both like!!

my brother has always been this way, so i'm not overlooking him.

my bio dad converted to Episcopalian, so he's been mentioning it when he goes to special services or giving us links to the services (he attends st. thomas's church in the city, which.. kinda makes me laugh because his name is thomas lol). they're quite beautiful, especially the choir. i don't begrudge him for this choice, but it does take me by surprise because he has NEVER shown ANY interest in religion for my entire life. if anything he's seemed rigidly atheistic. i asked him what made him want to do it, and he said it's to "be a calmer, quieter, better person." im not sure if he has faith in christ as much as he is drawn to the goodness of the people in the church, and what he thinks a christian should be, so in the end if it makes him happy and helps him feel better about himself, good for him.

he still owes me and my siblings literally thousands of fucking dollars as per the terms of his divorce agreement with my mother that he has been ignoring for over a decade, but apparently we're meant to overlook all that. that makes me sound like a greedy asshole, but my father has never been supportive in literal or figurative ways to us without us having to bleed his fucking stone heart dry, so while on the one hand i genuinely do want him to be happy with himself and become a person he can be proud of, on the other i'm like 'cool, so when will we see any of that change?'

but whatever. i'm mad about it but i'm not letting that distract me.

[istherewifiinhell]

1, 7, and 16 for the ask game! whatever fandom you feel like.

THANK UUUU. cause u gave me free pass im gonna multi ball this.

1. the character everyone gets wrong

I do have to do turtles again cause its leo my boy leo. specifically the one from the 2007 cgi movie. people do not understand his neuroses... hes got BIG. I have to be perfect at this one thing i staked my whole idenity on and if am criticised or fail my psyche will shatter. I love him so much hes an ASSHOLE who just needs to get into a physical fight with his brother (thats their love language <2) who missed him so much and is so mad at him (for leaving. which leo only realises after he loses the fight. badly).

EXTREMELY classic. sometimes ur trauma makes u bad to be around typa guy. hes IS a hypocrite thats THE POINT. of the movie.... beloved. naunced. Complex.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

thissssss one i think im gonna go with the channel boots king luke guywalker. from the wars in the stars. i mean fully is it even the fandom if half it comes from disney-fication pump out money blah blah blah. like.

combo fanboys who wanna know whose gonna win in a fight at all times, as if thats ever an interesting question. PLUS. disney now has him in stasis between end of the OT and the sequels of like. make jedi school to eventually try and kill 30 y.o swolo. we can grapple with AT ALL. the idealogical and emotional stuff hes going thru? no.. hes mean baby yoda now.... alright. whatever.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

live action remakes. NO no. hang on.... ill think of something.... OH got it. Its ruthless janeway from st VOY. like!!! UGH. GO BACK TO THE TEXT. Bring a little less misogyny this time. shes doing her FUCKING BEST. she faces like. 19 trolly problems A DAY. picard COULD NEVER (i mean he would just. do it differently). tell me youve only seen tuvix without telling me youve only seen tuvix behaviour. (an ESSENTIAL. wouldnt that be fucked up or what kinda episode). even the ppl who want her to be extremely ruthless but like. in a girl boss way. BOOO. it bores me.

[pinkadork]

Its so weird wanting to be the chill calm person ive sought out to be for the past year give or take a few months, while also being extremely heated st shit still

Like its handled better sure, but i still feel it yknow

Like im livid about certain shit and I truly never think i’ll not be mad about it but its like

Fuck

I cant explain shit for shit

I wanted to die months ago and not much has shifted.

I miss waking up and having hope of things changing and getting better just because you were w me. It was all perspective really, i never thought or imagined i’d be in a relationship of sny meaning. A few long distance and high school romances ig but i never thought id like, be someones person. A lot of relationships sound me didnt work and the ones that did, didn’t really, so when we worked out or i guess while we worked out, I started viewing things differently, i got defensive, felt insulted because i knew how much smarter you were and always felt i was trying to prove i even had a brain.

I dont keep it secret ive been on off homeless, this that, whatever, point being i got used to being in shitty conditions to where certain things that should definitely bother me didn’t. Living in the nightmare version of my childhood home, with the loml wasnt ideal nor what i wanted, even less with my boneheaded friends from hs. There was a time i convinced myself shit made sense but its been so much inbetween i cant even see what i saw then or what we were going for because nigga

I thought after we got out of there we like solid atp

Several deaths, a pandemic, my nigga fell in the floor, we fought rats, had infighting with each other, roommates, episodes all that bs that nigga we tight now, like fuck can really break us?

Me.

Its always been me

People wonder why im not over it or why i dont hate my ex or whatever but its like, that was the first real relationship (including family and friends because even my vets were in there shakiest eras) and I cared so much but like in a negative way, I thought we had to spend time together all the time, I love being by their side, yet I also ruined everything because I was so bothered by how every out of context thing would look that I ended up paintint the shitty picture everyone wanted out us anyway

I don't want to forget anymore, I don't wanna rush past it or act like it didn't happen or that I'm incapable of being the scum of the earth and that " everyone's wrong but me" I just want you

I need you

No creepy ish I hope but nigga

fuck

[virmillion]

,

[thrudreamland]

Tree Bros, Prompt No. 30 (nightmare) for the one word prompt thing, thanks in advance-

[gnarf]

Gnarf’s 2020

and what a fucking year that was... Anyways, let’s talk about the good things, shall we?

I made it through 2020 alive and without going insane! Yay! So lets see what else I did. (This is a long post)

In the beginning of 2020 I said I won’t participate in many fests. Only three or something like that. Lets check how that went!

Fests Gnarf participated in: 9

@lockdownfest @lcdrarry @hd-wireless @hpfluff-fest @hd-hurtfest @hd-fan-fair @hd-erised @gameofdrarry in drarropoly @wireless-festive-minifest​

Haha yup, three. Sounds legit. I also wandered off to try if I can art! No worries, I gave that up :D Mad respect to all Artists, arting is exhausting and the progress is too slow for me.

If you really want to check out my attempts, here’s what made its way onto AO3:

Dont Blink! for LCDrarry, it includes the Angels from Doctor Who and was a pain in the arse.

If you knew... was made for H/D Wireless and has the armiest arm i ever saw, very proud of that one. Its also the last thing I made.

Home Sweet Home was also made for H/D Wireless, and the first bigger art piece I tried my hand on.

A muffled groan which is rather explicit and I entirely forgot about making it :D it has a ficlet going with it too.

(I think theres other Art stuff here with the tag #gnarf draws or something)

I reached my yearly goal of writing 100k words once again!

Fics and Ficlets I wrote this year: 20(ish)

Better Side of the Bed (Lock Down Fest, T, 2k)

It was all Malfoy's fault. Harry could be at the Burrow right now, but instead he was trapped in Malfoy's tiny flat. All because that dick couldn't stop bothering him about a stupid life debt he didn't even care about.

Doing What's Best (G, ~800 words)

Lucius looked down at the little bundle currently sleeping in Narcissa's arms and felt terror shoot through his body. A little boy, his hair so white it was nearly invisible. Born only a few hours ago, taking his first breath in the light of the rising sun. Narcissa had whispered a welcome, her eyes wet, her smile bigger than ever. But they both knew, even though temporarily safe, he really wasn't. Draco was born into a world ruled by war. If only it'd end soon.

I better be hallucinating this (T, 3.8k)

After the war Draco Malfoy is sentenced to Azkaban for a really long sentence. Apparently aiding in Dumbledore's death overrules any argument Harry could put up for him. After the trial, as the days pass by, Harry is more and more outraged at the sentence. He can't stop obsessing over the fact that Draco Malfoy saved his life and aided him during the war and is very much capable of redemption. Not to mention that Malfoy has always been a delicate git and would never survive Azkaban. After a few weeks obsessing Harry decides that Malfoy indeed can't remain unjustly in Azkaban and starts to plot a way to break him out of jail and hide him in Grimmauld Place. When Hermione finds out she's not amused. Ron is horrified. Draco still thinks he's hallucinating.

Keep Holding On (Wireless, M. 33.333) A collab with @maesterchill​ who surprised me with lovely art for it!

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.

Age is just a number (Fluff Fest, T, 1.5k)

Married for decades, their life is perfect. Until Harry gets a call and hears the following words: "Mr Potter, we caught your husband stealing ten large packs of King Sized condoms."

There was still hope (Hurt Fest, M, 3.1k)

Draco winced as pain shot through his leg with every step. This secret, back-alley laboratory had been his last chance, last hope, to find the potion. But nobody had it in stock, and there was no time left to brew it himself. Panic was slowly overtaking his entire mind as he crept out of the store and back to the nearest alley to Apparate back home. He already felt off, and it was still early in the day. Of course this thestral-shit had to happen to him, of all people. As if life wasn't bad enough for him already.

Desire (E, 1.7k)

"Auror Potter, what a pleasant surprise to meet you here. What can I do for you?" "Stop the show, Malfoy. There's no one around, and I'm not here as an Auror." Draco watched Potter move closer until they were nearly nose to nose, only the small counter of his shop kept Potter at distance. Potter's eyes were dark with something Draco couldn't exactly name, his face was flushed and the air surrounding him felt somehow static. Draco felt the urge to lean further over his counter, to drink in his sight, to touch the man on the other side—but he didn't.

Drarropoly 2020 currently holds 7 ficlets and is in a Series. The highest rating is Mature and its 3.2k in total at this point.

Let's not wait for France (Fan Fair, T, 17.7k)

All Harry had wanted from his Eighth year at Hogwarts was a little peace and a little privacy but, from the moment that he stepped onto Platform 9 3/4, it was obvious that nothing was ever going to be that easy. An accidental bond with Malfoy that resulted in them having to stay together at all times was the final straw. Things couldn't be worse. So much to a quiet year in Hogwarts.

Love letters for the oblivious (Mini Wireless, T, 716 words)

Draco had gotten the strangest letters all week long, which wasn't what anyone needed at Christmas. Especially not him. Either someone was taking the piss, or he had a very dumb and inefficient secret admirer. And Draco didn't know which would be worse.

Double-Booked (Mini Wireless, T, 2.1k)

Finally, peace and quiet, and— "Malfoy?!?" Or the one where Harry thought he could enjoy a quiet Christmas far from everyone, just to find out that the cabin he had booked already accommodated another guest.

The best Christmas he ever had (Mini WirelessT, 1.9k)

Christmas had never been less appealing to him than this year. That was until Arthur Weasley showed up at his door, dressed as Santa, inviting him to the Burrow.

Anon Fests to be added

Whoever made it to this point: yoooo! Friend! Lots of love to you! I also got tagged in many get to know me posts, plenty of love in my Inbox giving me love slaps left and right (honestly, im bruised, stop slapping me), amazing person awards, top 5 fics, and whatever you can think of.

To make up for not answering most of them because I’m a horrible person:

My favourite colour: purple My age: I’ll be 30 next year in April, I expect gifts, I don’t accept first borns My favourite trope: eight year My favourite animal: cat My favourite ice cream: Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough Here’s my writing Playlist, it’s the worst you’ll ever see, and yes, I use YouTube, I’m old.

Other things that happened in 2020 that made me happy:

I kicked out my mentally/emotionally abusive partner of 7 years in January

I kept my grandma alive through this *waves hand at world*

I was able to share my birthday cake with my family becaus I got to leave my first quarantine a few days before my birthday

I got to keep my job

I found a lot of lovely friends in this fandom, and got to keep them through this year

My cats are their usual little jerks and actually enjoyed me being at home due to the raging pandemic

I finally cut off my hair

I’m about to hit 3.5k followers here and I love you all

I’m also tagging everyone who sees this and wants to do something similiar! Show us what you did in 2020, the things you’re proud of, and the things you loved! Let’s spread some happy for the end of the year 💜🥰

[robinrunsfiction]

A Long Way Home - Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!

As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.

It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.

Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.

Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.

Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.

Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story.  He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"

‘Where are you?’

The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.

‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’

‘Wanna hang out in my room?’

(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.

‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.

“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.

"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.

"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"

"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."

“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.

"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.

(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”

"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."

"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."

Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."

"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.

She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."

"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.

"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.

"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.

"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.

Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”

She nodded. “Ok, fine.”

~

The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.

‘Ok, you can come back now’

‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’

‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’

She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’

“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.

“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”

“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.

"I'd love that," he replied softly.

"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.

He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.

Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.

~

From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.

“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.

“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.

“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”

“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.

The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.

~

“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."

“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.

"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.

"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."

"What?! Why?"

"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.

(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.

Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”

“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

“Anytime.”

She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.

~

Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.

"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.

"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."

"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."

"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.

"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.

"Yea, that was something else.”

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."

"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.

"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."

Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."

"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.

"Remember what got you through back then?"

A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.

That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”

The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”

The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.

“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.

I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?

The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.

After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.

"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.

(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.

“Not him.”

"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.

“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"

"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"

"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent  nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."

"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"

“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"

"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.

"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.

Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"

(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."

~

The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near  the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.

(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.

She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.

As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?

That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.

As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.

Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.

"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"

"Liam told me.”

"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.

"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.

“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”

(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”

“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.

“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.

“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”

His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"

"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.

Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.

When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.

“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.

They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.

“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.

“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.

“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.

“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.

When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”

(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.

“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.

“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.

“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.

“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.

“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.

“We’re together,” she blushed.

“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.

“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.

When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.

“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.

[a-deadly-serenade]

overall this season was pretty decent. i have some thots whats new so im gonna share them below the cut if anyone’s interested :)

so!! first off i’ll say that there were a lot of things i did really enjoy from season 4!

the action was super fun as always!! i loved all the crazy enemies and callbacks! the skeleton fight and all those little goblins they kept killing throughout were a nice touch ;) sypha’s use of her powers is INSANE her ice-chainsaw?? her WALL of fire?? electric balls?? come on. and the animation was NICE. i really wanna know who did most of the fight scenes bcuz the style is so different and it just POPS but in a really good way? 

my favorite fight has to be ofc when everyone is REUNITED yes im basic. but the THEME song going off and well, im a whore for sotn references and i CAME when i saw the leap stone ref w the winged cape or when alucard turned into a hoard of batss AND THEN HIS WOLF FORM OOOOHH BABY!!! actually episode 9 is just a straight banger.

STRIGAAA. STRIGA. oh mama i was sweating during that fight. mad kudos to her va for them growlsss

carmilla vs isaac was a lot of fun and i loved the visuals but my hype was instantly ruined when i saw her kill herself 😭but thats smth i’ll complain about later.

not all the lines were bangers, some of sypha’s swearing seemed even a bit too much at times, and it was especially jarring to be having a face-to-face death-math with literal Death and hes acting like a naughty little 5 year old thats just learnt to swear. maybe cut back on the fuck-isms? just a bit? BUT when they hit they did GOOD. “the fuck what now?” yes

ISAAC. you weren’t in this season as much but man do u still shine through. i loved his introduction back in the town where he has his night creatures digging graves and rebuilding the city 😭 and then the conversation he shares w his flyman?? obsessed.

Hector chopping his finger off and giving lenore and carmilla a good ol FUCK YOU!! as he helps isaac. we love to see it

Trevor and Sypha’s “I love you!” “I know.” <3

DEATHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

oh! alucard actually having a story & purpose in the plot? :) luv it love to see it. that being said... the Plot. 

its... ok? it’s kind of split up into 3/4 parts, as the story progresses, one eventually merges with several of the others kind of? cohesively? while leaving the other to sort itself out.

now, i didnt have too many qualms with it, it was pretty straight forward. dracula is going to be resurrected and we have sypha and trevor looking in on it, while alucard helps the nearby village and hector and isaac go on about bringing on their inevitable showdown. however, the way the story was paced and some of the decisions they made... werent so great.

st. germain for example, brought the ENTIRE momentum from the last few episodes to a halt. you have sypha and trevor fighting through heaps and heaps of monsters only to find themselves back in Targoviste where they meet the mysterious Zamfir!! and Alucard!! he’s been asked to help save this village!! all jam-packed with crazy action and animation that leaves you fired up!! and then episode 5 comes to a screeching halt and we spend nearly the entire thing on st. germain’s backstory and explaining his motives for the rest of the season

like. imma be real with you chief: he didnt need to be here lol. you could have just left varney as the main vamp in charge of bringing back big daddy drac and he could reveal to his.. idk henchmen or something that he’s death. but u gotta fill them ten 20 minute slots somehow!! he just fell so flat and unfortunately, a lot of the side-characters suffer from this this season.

i enjoyed great and zamfir, i love their desgins esp, but they really could have been fleshed out more. zamfir is shown as nothing but a spoiled brat the majority of the time she’s on screen but they wait till she’s about to die to try and turn her character around? huh? greta is given a bit more screentime but this sudden confession of feelings in the last episode felt so... huh?? why couldnt she just be dedicated to her people and show that u can love someone w/out necessarily being their partnr? i thot that was her whole thing; taking care of her people. it’s like. where did this come from. they cant have known each other more than a week at most dog 😭

it sucks they dedicated to much time to scenes that didnt really need to be there where we could have gotten this proper development, like maybe have a scene zamfir and sypha connect over struggles they’ve dealt with in the past and that has her open up about how traumatizing dracula’s attack on her city was. u could have expanded upon her role in the court and WHY she worshipped the monarchy so much instead of making it a throwaway gag about her being “crazy”. but why have that when we could instead spend the first 5 minutes of said episode watching a monotonous back-and-forth b/w varney and that big burly russian vampire who’s name im sure mor than 98% of the audience cant even remember? 

just a lot of fat that needed to be trimmed so that the actual MEAT of the story could be slow cooked to perfection. people really arent kidding when they say less is more. 

another big problem i had was there... i dont even know what to call it, re-humanization? redemption? of Lenore. like lmk if im wrong but she manipulated hector, yeah? coerced sex to slip on that ring that binds him to her?? orr whatever weird shit warren’s into. but the way they interacted, ESPECIALLY in their first major scene together was sooo uncomfortable to watch lol at first i thought perhaps hector was only playing along because well. hes enslaved to do her and carmilla’s bidding. but no, he actually LIKES her. he spares her when isaac comes around, he says that he wants to keep her as his own. and in the meantime, lenore finds time to complain to a man that’s been beaten and enslaved how upset it makes her that carmilla got angry at her 😭 or says thats she tired of isaac keeping tabs on her and wants to escape this ‘cage’. to  aman thats literally been imprisoned since youve known him 😭her death is seen as peaceful, calm, they even try and tug at ur heartstrings by swelling this sad, dramatic music as the sun rises. really? LENORE?

and carmilla’s death happened WAYY too early imo. she was the villain for practically 3 seasons and this is how she goes? isaac couldnt get more than a stab at her? his night creatures couldnt take a nibble? HECTOR couldnt even be given a chance to do somethng like come on

the resolution was... strange? it was cute!! and happy!! but i dunno if they really needed to have lisa and vlad coming back, but, like i said; it was cute! definitely not the ending i was expecting. 

i’m glad that they put their focus back on what made the show so much fun and that was the FIGHTS. they definitely helped add some much needed spice to things when scenes started to drag, but im a gal that really luvs a good story and even though reviews were raving that this season helped closed the lid on all the themes theyd been exploring, i just didnt really see that. which isnt necessarily a BAD thing, i knew i wasnt gonna find some deep introspective themes in this hack n slash horror-fantasy, its just what can turn somethng like this from an ok show to a GREAT one. 

in the end, im glad they stopped at this one and im curious to see if they really DO go ahead on making spin-offs. bcuz unfortunately, i will always be down for som new castlevania content

[fuck-customers]

(this is mad long so u may wanna put it under a readmore) this is sort of a half-fuck and half-thank customer (but mostly just to give myself asspats)

i work in a grooming salon for a big shitty corporate pet store (where you probably buy your pet food or bring them to the in-house vet), and folks lemme tell you i've worked a lot of service jobs and this one attracts the worst customers, like 3/5 are going to be on our ass about something, making nonsensical requests (i want you to remove the gigantic skin-tight mats from my extremely unkempt and unruly st. bernard but DO NOT SHAVE HIM, i want the mats brushed out!! and i'm going to throw a tantrum over the extra dematting charges and because you suggested that i need to brush my dog every day, of COURSE i've been doing that!), accusing us of hurting their dogs (i submitted another story about the mom recording us to try to like call us out ig; we treat these dogs like our own babies, even when they're being AWFUL - we can get fired for things like stepping away from our table when there's a dog on it or putting kennel dryers on senior dogs or breeds prone to respiratory problems.)

there's this guy who was apparently banned from the salon before i started there. dude is WILD. the last time he was there, i forget exactly what they said the initial issue was that made him upset (probably nothing, he's got a very short fuse) but he just went apeshit on the salon leader, eyes bulging, then started screaming about how the other groomers were laughing at him when they started to exchange glances. but anyway somehow he ends up getting booked with me. my coworkers know i'm very passive and anxiety-prone so the GM said he would deal with the guy when he came in. so i wash the dog and whatever, then i asked the GM to call to let him know i was done. GM got sidetracked and forgot. the guy then called a bit later to check up on the dog and complain that i was taking too long, but we were all very busy and no one could get to the phone, so some poor cashier ended up picking up the call and dealing with this guy going off the rails about how he got put on hold for so long etc etc then hangs up on the cashier. so i call back and, in my sweetest customer service voice (bc im terrified so i dont wanna get on his bad side) apologize profusely for the trouble and, at the GM's request, offer to comp the service (which i feel like is just rewarding bad behavior but he's an asskisser and doesnt want to get a bad review). the guy seems taken aback for a sec and then hes like "oh. no, its okay, i got it out of my system, i'm alright now." (HE KNOWS HE SUCKS)

so he gets there to pick up his dog and is kind of quiet, like he's really straining to stay calm. so i, having been blessed with a disarming and bubbly personality (not to stroke my own dick but it's true) and not wanting to get in trouble, offer again to comp the service the guy seems genuinely sheepish, apologizes, and says he'll pay the full price. i, a pushover and dumbass, offer to at least give him a discount on the service. he accepts this and then TIPS ME THE FULL AMOUNT OF THE SERVICE? (FORTY WHOLE DOLLARS BABYYY) and then fucking calls later and gives me a customer compliment to the manager. idk if it's the disney princess voice, the groveling, or the big titties but something i'm doing is right.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh movie....2!

ruth and i watched the second hxh movie and that certainly was a movie

the title is already cracking me up lmao ‘the last mission’ THATS SO DRAMATIC. 

the first like 3 scenes feel totally disconnected like theyre from different movies vnjskdfnsdkflk

‘many decades ago’ vbhjdsfbajsdf that phrasing is hilarious somehow 

damn young netero just killed jeb bush 

ah look its our movie villains, starting their villain stuff

so i guess this is set around where we are in the series now - like, somewhere in this beginning part of the chimera ant arc where gon and killua are hanging w/kite. which is kinda funny bc they dont explain AT ALL how and why gon and killua are in this city suddenly hvbajdsfjskdjan

killua skateboarding makes me smile :’) love it 

IS THAT ZUSHI??????? AHHHHHHH MY BOY!!!!!!!!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIMMMM HES A LIL BUFF 7 YR OLD NOW OUGHHHH HES GROWN SO MUCH...POWERFUL BABY....IM SO PROUD 

omg wing and bisky are here too!!! nen fam 

im so proud of zushi being a floor master omg....i love how the side characters progress and grow offscreen, separate of the protags, kinda like seeing pokkle again (rip tho, i think) 

LEORIOOOOO MY MAN!!!!!!! he really showed up for like 3 seconds then gets KOd and dumped in a sewer....STOP DOING MY MAN SO DIRTY GIVE HIM SCREENTIME..

ohhh so we’re doing anime die hard. kinda like the first macadamia movie 

that lady rlly just stabbed herself huh.

these antags look like theyre from naruto. main antag dude looks like about 7 different anime guys fused 

oh man netero got dunked on immediately Ls. gotta take him out so the protags can do the fighting 

gon and killua are so good. and also in love. epic 12 yr old romance 

KURAPIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lookin sharp in a suit. also just looking depressed as hell in general. KURAPIKA ARE YOU...GOOD....ARE YOU STAYING HYDRATED??? TAKING UR VITAMINS?? I DONT THINK YOU ARE. 

also i still cant believe kp is working for neon still...it rlly feels like they just gave up on life and just figured that staying there was fine or w/e

now the 3 protags are goin full die hard thru the tower...WHERE is leorio i cant believe they rlly threw my mans in a sewer like that smh 

these guys r rlly called ‘the shadow’ thats so edgy 

also i watched this like a few hours ago but im a dumb bitch so im reading thru the wiki article for the movie to remind me what happened, and apparently The Shadow(tm) was the black ops division of the hunter association, and they were later rekkt once they started w/the On...i so didnt get that while actually watching the movie vhdakjfhbskdfn thanks hunterpedia for explaining that one to me 

wooowww so the HA rlly just committed massive, morally reprehensible war crimes and then just sealed it all in a book or st and moved on. yikes id be mad too, generic anime dude villain 

so these three rlly just resurrected a dude by going into the desert and saying ‘hey we r emo can you give us some power and maybe anime jeb bush’ and that Worked 

now kurapika is fighting the dude in the control room and gon&killua are fighting Big Dude WHO BEAT UP ZUSHI!!!!!!!!! get his ass boys 

LEORIOOOOOO MMY MAN IS BACK FROM HIS SEWER ADVENTURE!!!!!!!!! ILY SIRRRRR 

and then he immediately gets yoinked by hisoka, who is for some reason in this movie. i feel like they were like oh yeah hisoka is like, the 5th main character/antagonistic force of the story so i guess he should be here. its hilarious tho bc he spends 90% of his already limited screentime in this movie just playing w/his playing cards and smirking. bastard man you just gooo awayyyyy

seeing beans again omggggg green dude u r great

also who the FUCK is that smarmy looking blonde at the HA HQ...i hate him already based on 1) his atrocious pattern-clashing fashion sense, and 2) his smarmy aura. he looks like hes never thought a thought in his life. ruth says he might be buddies w/ging which makes me hate him even more 

gon and killua....r dating. ty 

when gon and the bad guy start fighting in the elevator shaft and killua just kinda watches hvbajddfhbsjf hes like ‘oh the narrative demands that gon fights solo for a bit so i guess ill stay here’ lmao 

but then he saves gon with his physics-heavy electromagnet elevator clamp plan....smart baby 

then after they defeat the guy they just start chatting lol i love them 

ohhh shit the guy exploded, thats fucked up 

poor gon :( more trauma for the poor kid 

meanwhile kurapika fights an evil clone of themself. wow 

tbh kurapika could totally one-up these guys by being like ‘well ok at least you have each other, im the VERY LAST kurta’ 

its strange to see kurapika fighting w/the sticks instead of the chains tbh

WHO THREW THAT KNIFE AT THE GUY IT HAS TO BE LEORIO HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA REUNION HHHHH THEYYYYY

they are married tyvm 

kurapika is soooo not doin well like...please get some rest

kurapika referring to their ‘new friends’ hmmmm thats probably an actual canon reference since this doesnt get brought up again in the movie. probs referring to w/e kp is doing in canon at this point 

LEORIO USING NEN LMAOOO hes like pshhhh that was easy but internally hes like owww....sir ily sm 

damn kurapika rlly stabbed that guy w/a stick huh. rip dude 

ohhh shit its those drug capsule things 

KURAPIKA RLLY TOOK A BULLET FOR LEORIO HUH. I HATE IT HEREEEEEE

leorio best dude

wow so kp has to make an On covenant OR DIE...yeah i think theyll choose the die option 

squad reunion :’) even tho kp is like, dying 

gon is such a good boy :( ily baby 

leorio and kurapika are str8 up married ty 

final battle timeee

love how at this point in the story gon only has one attack so he has no choice but to keep doing that same attack (well, the 3 variations) over and over til st happens lmao 

lmao gon and kurapika are rlly on the opposite ends of the ‘On’ scale here w/kp willing to die rather than accept using On, and gon seeking out On for POWER and also VENGEANCE 

the themes of gon’s righteous anger on behalf of others continues...

the boys are rlly getting tossed around a lot this movie geez 

hh boy gon is now...PURPLE-BLUE 

oooh killua convincing the lady to chill out was cool - tho ngl i didnt realize she was still alive 

now netero can go ham. i wonder if he’ll finish the fight or if gon will 

uh oh gon is Extra Feral now 

gon: IM EVIL NOW

killua: NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH 

oughhh they love each other so much bro. fuck this 

gon banging his head on the ground and then killua jumping in between him and the ground....true love bro 

gon snapped out of it WITH THE POWER OF LOVE!!!!!!!!!! im emo and gay. thanks 

love how even when netero was younger he was still like, an old guy lmao 

and then the next day theyre all just back in heavans arena hbvhdahdfbjsakf who cares that the building just got hijacked? whatevs 

kurapika smiling a little and melody then smiling knowingly....melody is like Bitch I Know Youre In Love 

still kurapika seems like. not Right. pls get some therepy 

im glad zushi got to fight that guy like he was supposed to....and w/the nen fam cheering him on :’) 

THOUGHTS

its wild how they didnt really delve into the whole ‘war crimes’ thing w/the hunter association lmao. idk if this movie is canon so that might be why....they just brushed over the fact that the HA was like, running concentration camps and murdering entire groups of people. wild 

this movie was fun!! it felt more like hxh than the last movie, which v much felt like a generic anime movie. this one felt more in character. it did fall into typical anime movie tropes sometimes but the characters felt more like themselves here, espec w/the point of the story this seems to be set at 

like gons anger and all that - while it obvs comes from a place of love and kindness, he can get carried away sometimes...i feel like we’re gonna rlly delve into the negative impact of this in the CA arc and i am both so ready and not ready at all 

this movie was hella gay which i appreciate. love the gays 

all in all this was fun!! i wish there were more hxh movies lmao i love anime movies. well at least theres the musical LMAOOO im gonna watch that soon 

[shizekarnstein]

At first I had doubts about posting this bc as a prequel fan I GET how annoying is to have to read and listen as so many ppl at once make fun and nickpick everything about a movie you like but... god was this bad. Like so so bad.

Lets start with the opening credits. I honestly start laughing right there. Palpatine pulls as Moriarty and leaves a threatening message announcing his return and im ????? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME INSTEAD OF S H O W I N G AAAAAAH. As soon as I saw that I knew I was in for an unconfortable ride.

I'll try to make this short.

Things I liked: aka the Good.

For the first time in years C3PO was actually funny? He made me laugh fulltime.

The new droid. Protect it pls.

Reys training montage.

Hans cameo. Especially his I know.

Luke and Leias flashback even if kind of contradicts everything about ST Leia but more on that later.

Force ghost Luke.

?????

Oh god I can't think of anything else????

Lando and his like three lines.

Oh I supposed all the people arriving to end the new sith fleet or whatever was cool if kind of unrelevant. Yes disney we know it's up to us regular people teaming up to put a stop to tyrannical regimes but the OT already told that. And better.

Palpatine's evil bitch energy. On that note I also liked Hux petty and dramatic energy.

The seeds for Kylos conflict were there more or less for the wholr three movies so AT LEAST that arc felt somewhat logical. Even if the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

At least the final shot was pretty??????

Oooh and Chewie's medal.

Things I didn't like: aka the Bad.

Lack of any semblance of glue connecting the story as a whole. For me at least it felt like a lot (and I mean a lot) of disconected threads and plot points one after each other.

John is a phenomenal actor but omg the "trio scenes" are horrible. I tried but I couldnt feel a single thing watching them. Their lines also felt so empty to me. In general I didn't connect with any of tje dialogue.

Finns arc is?????? Horrible.

Same as Poes (even is Oscar is like extra sexy this time around). Please stop trying to make him the new Han Solo.

Rose. Like cmon she deserved a better role.

The whole lets erase 3pos memory arc.

Rey can use force lighting.

Honestly I hated all the storylines.

Rey and Kylos fight in the watery version of Mustafar.

Palpatine is... just there. No explanation whatsoever.

REY PALPATINE.

His weird ass ritual like sooo unnecesary pls.

The force reviving people just bc rip Anakin.

It's not as if they didn't have the budget to make all the forces ghosts they wanted so WHY ONLY VOICEOVERS IM SO MAD.

The exegol plot was just such a mess. And boring. This is one of my major problems with the movie: I had never been so bored watching sw in my entire life. I almost fell asleep multiple times. Why.

LEIA BEING A JEDI CONTRADICTS LIKE EVERYTHING OF THE PREVIOUS MOVIES LIKE. AND HER REASONS FOR QUITTING IM. It was all in vain. Also omg they should have killed Leia in TLJ and be done with that bc her scenes in ROS are so so messy.

How they rushed Kylos redemption like. Well you healed me and my mother died and after interacting with this hallucination of my father (whom I killed btw just bc for the evil lols) I guess I don't want to opress the galaxy anymore.

Rey returning to Tatooine to bury the lightsabers pls.

REY PALPATINE.

Also wtf is that narrative: we, the palpatines, love our daughter very much. So we are going to sell and abandon her. For her own good.

Also ew Palpatine had a biological son. Who apparently wasn't as important as his granddaughter or something.

ASSPULLS EVEYWHERE.

And now the Funny:

C3PO is the MVP. srsly he was the only character I liked in the whole movie. What a legend.

Kylos new mask with red veins like omg I was laughing so hard

HUX BEING A PETTY BITCH AND ONLY CARING ABOUT KYLOS RUIN. AND THEN HE FUCKING DIES. I stan.

When they ran out of Carrie Fisher footage and compensated by throwing some pillows under a blanket and tried to make me feel something for "leias body".

The mustafar watery edition.

Rey being so angry all the fucking time.

Finn in general was a joke. Sorry finn fans.

The dialogue was so forced I coped by laughing all the time.

Palpatines evil lair.

THE KNIGHTS OF REN WERE SO USELESS OMG.

The tiny alien whose name I forgot.

Chewies resurrection.

The final showdown.

REY PALPATINE.

Guys I can't wrapped my head around the fact PALPATINE FUCKED.

When Ben dies and zaz his and leias bodies dissapear I laughed so hard the guy who was sitting at my right (who btw fell asleep in the middle of the movie 😂) startled.

So as you can see... i had to use humour as a coping mechanism to even endure this movie. They truly ruined Anakin and Luke so I guess the ot and pt are a waste of time. Anakin didn't destroy palpatine. Leia and the rest couldnt do shit to at least preserve the so hard won peace. Also rip padme im sorry the secret spell to revive the dead was invented like 50 years later.

[pinkadork]

One day words will stop being exchanged and knowing you're more likely to be relieved than devastated or even a bit bummed is sending me

Like okay

Pause for a minute

Lets be real my tumblr page is like my public diary or whatever and like

Idk i look at shit and its sad how much through the entirety of this shit therapy or not ive been trying to see more than my side and be able to see my faults for what they are while also doing something about it but i swear im either villaianized or pacified by you in any given moment and then its like im both a dumb ass for wanting you so badly was and i feel like my feelings get overshadowed bc the bpd and oooh i take meds now, and you still treat me like like an abuser and thats what you tell people. And i just wanna stop feeling like I'll never be able to enjoy anything fr ever again. Even at my best i still have you on my brain when it feels like you're doing everything to erase me and then make me feel like thats the right response. I fucking hate this shit so much its like i sit here and I'm fine and then i keep fucking setting myself off with how upset this makes me. Like nigga i live in my aunt basement, i work in a fucking factory, im a fucking temp worker nigga , and yet and still my stupid ass is worried about who? Trying to figure out how to get right for who? Pathetic as shit.

I know you wouldn't do the same bc you didnt.

I'm so frustrated. it's unbelievable. I keep wrapping my head around how bs this all is, or how i swallowed how angry certain shit has had me.

Again nigga its been months and i know for a fact the same shit is being peddled.

You doing your thing is whatever but doing so and then trying to undermine the fact that itd hurt me (which you later admitted to trying to do anyway) nigga fucked someone then was like "i mean we broke up like 6 months ago so i did good right lol" fucking first of all at 6 months vs 5 years make it make sense, second of all it let me realize that the second time we tried when shit felt "so right" mesnt nothing to this nigga it was a good two months which for me made the breakup reset and st the time this happend made this like 4 months but as you can see by me writing this out who the fuck other than me cares about some weird shit like that. Regardless its like i have to be either high as hell or always working now more thsn ever to not walk into the very accessible highway.

I accepted that i ruined my life but holy fuck did you make it worse

I am forever sorry about how shit ended and every rude outburst ever spouted from my lips, any time i made you feel any negative way, but my brother in christ i didn't and dont deserve this shit and sometimes it really bothers me that i love you the way i do. You act scared of me like im obsessed but i feel like im going mad bc it was like you made me this way. From jump, the constant vc, the way youd make me feel insignificant or like i wasnt enough, and then have the nerve to try and make it a thing about my insecurities that yes i told you about but fuck.

I feel so dumb because i actually would wait until you're ready because i feel deep in my core that i fw you for life type shit. Its always gang shit whatever. I love you and want things to be okay regardless to how i feel .

Fuck im tired

[myheartbeatskids]

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen ��go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by ��them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all