#im fine and nothing is happening GOODNIGHT i need to stop fucking talking always talk talk talk. gn

[itsalwaysdark]

sry for never using paragraph breaks in my posts. Theyre putting me down tomorrow if that makes you feel any better

[boyfhee]

OKAY IM BACK 🤩🤩 ( after some self reflection on my attachment to take two ) NGL I DIDNT EXPECT YOU TO GIVE ME A SHOUTOUT OR EVEN FOR ME TO HELP PLAY A PART ( even if its a teeny tiny bit ) IN THE ENDING ??? you can literally imagine my surprise when i opened the app after a goodnight sleep to see a new update and mentions of me in the a/n 😭😭 the ending was so fhdjsnjsnsks BITTERSWEET. it was so nice to know that they all found comfort in each other ultimately ( despite it not turning into something romantic wise at that moment ) and being such good friends ?? it really shows their growth as characters which behaved selfishly to ones that were willing to accept each others shortcomings whole heartedly ( at least imo ) . although yn doesnt have an endgame (cries cos my imaginations were running wild at the slightly open but not so open ending if you get what i mean ) , it feels very realistic that wonki hasnt moved on yet — especially since this happens a lot irl ( i never experienced it before but ive seen my friends go through it ! ). i think it was a very well written ending considering how you couldnt make everyones wishes come through ( talking about the readers choice of endgame ) but yet still delivered one of satisfactory level. it was such a wild ride watching ynki make every mistake we as humans could make. miya was truly a test - she was testing my patience half the time 💀💀💀. but miya also serves as a reminder to everyone of how easily it is to unknowingly cheat on your partner without having to lay a single hand or even touch the person. emotional cheating is JUST AS BAD AS PHYSICALLY CHEATING IF NOT WORST ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i kinda feel bad (?) for wonki though because even though they were given closure and time to heal, it always felt more like a right person wrong time kind of thing so they will never be able to properly move on imo. IT MAKES ME EVEN SADDER THAT IT FEELS LIKE YN GETS THE HAPPY ENDING AND WONKI GOT A HAPPY ENDING TOO BUT IT COMES WITH A CHANCE THAT THEY MIGHT NEVER BE ABLE TO GET ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH YN EVER AGAIN. its really giving “ feels like we have matching wounds but mines still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine “ < the exit - conan gray >

okay i feel like i should stop here before i get carried away and keep repeating the same points but more aggressively with each sentence 🥶🥶 i was actually a pure literature student before i graduated from school and its been a while since i had graduated so it was really fun to be able to make analysis on characters again as well as figure out plots through diction 🤩🤩 i cant thank you enough for writing take two because it gave me a chance to put my literature to good use, it wouldve been a real shame if i studied so hard just for me to never use it ever again. thank you thank you thank you thank you.

please have a good rest and all the best for your studies ! i had national exams last year and it absolutely beat the crap out of my brain 😭😭 had me tearing at every math question and feeling hella defeated. its going to be tough but you can do it !! take as long as you need for your break ! you absolutely deserve it after dropping that bombass smau 😩😩😩😩 i will look forward to your return with full excitement ! take care ~

- 🎐 ( its been a pleasure being one of take twos biggest fans - self proclaimed )

WINDCHIME ANON HEHE HELLO 💗💗 no bc a shoutout was a must bc ur ask helped me pick the direction i wanted to go with the ending. and i was so scared bc ppl were hoping for a ynwon ending but i gave them kind of nothing i was like 'what if they dont like' BUT FUCK IT BC IN MY EYES YN DOESNT DESERVE A HAPPY ENDING JUST YET . tbh the whole point of the friends part was that they were willing to give their relationship another try despite the mistakes, call that character development. and miya was created solely to tell people how important communication is. none of this would've happened if riki told yn about miya, if yn told him ab meeting miya, if riki told yn ab his plan, the communication was gone on so many levels. the thing that ruined ynki, if you ask me, was the lack of communications. not miya, not jungwon, not media, not fans, but yn and riki themselves. SO CHIYUV NATION, COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. ALWAYS. take it from me i love clearing things out and it always ends well unless u start phrasing things wrong ( dont do it )

AND ANON WE R GETTING A PART TWO WITH SEPARATE ENDINGS let ur imagination run wild again ☝️☝️ that conan gray lyrics r so ksdjfhhs fits so well fr. AND OMG HI FELLOW LIT. STUDENT i had science but also had eng on the side, spent my youth editing drafts and analysing proses and poetry it was fun . everyday i think about ur asks ab take two and it makes miso happy (sunghoon hi) bc they rlly made my day U ARE THE BIGGEST TAKE TWO FAN i will give u that medal 🥇

[yayeetsonny]

Always Tell The Truth Part 2 ~ USWNT x Reader

Okay so if you haven’t read the first part of this, which I will put here. Always tell the truth part 1 I suggest you do that, otherwise this one will make no sense. Also sorry... again for being gone so long. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. :)

-N

Previously...

“Those bruises, Y/N, where’d you get them?” 

“I. Don’t. Know.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine then, don’t believe me. First Alex, then Christen and now you. This is just great, my teammates think I’m a liar. Well I’m not and I’m telling you the truth.”

I brushed by her and stormed out of the room, now determined to avoid my teammates so they’d stop asking questions and questioning my honesty.

“I’m not a liar. I don’t know where I got the bruises, I don’t know why they won’t believe me.”

Present

After I stormed out of the room I share with Ali I ran... yes literally ran out of the hotel and out into the street. Well okay it was more like the sidewalk but whatever, I’m going for dramatic story telling here. I was angry, hurt and confused as to why my teammates couldn’t just believe me. I’ve never lied to them before, not ever. If something was going on I would have told them. And I genuinely have no clue where these bruises came from, I don’t remember hurting myself badly in practices or games and I don’t do any other crazy activities that would warrant the sudden appearance of severe looking injuries. I knew I just needed to clear my head so I started walking in a random direction hoping to get my thoughts together.

After a while I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and knew it was probably one of my teammates looking for me so I ignored it. My phone stopped ringing only for a short time before it stared up again. This went on for several long minutes before it finally stopped. After each attempt from whoever was trying reach me there was a separate single vibrate indicating they left a message. I felt a little guilty for disappearing and probably worrying everyone but they shouldn’t have assumed or accused me of lying. Thinking they finally got the message that I didn’t want to speak to them I continued walking god knows where trying to think of what to say when I finally decided to go back. I was really deep in thought, trying to remember if and when I got the bruises. Obviously they don’t just appear like magic. They have to be caused by something, but... what? All the sudden I was hit with a vague memory

“Huh?... Wha- where am I?”

“You fell asleep on the couch dear. Don’t you remember? It was really adorable actually. My mom said super sweetly.

That’s weird, she’s never overly sweet with me, like ever.

“No, I don’t remember doing that.”

I looked around and the tv was on, which is also rare. It was playing a random comedy movie. Comedy? My parents don’t even like comedy movies.

“Oh well you did. Right after dinner, you dragged your feet over to the couch and was out like a light before we knew it.” She said casually.

My dad waltzed in like everything was totally normal. What the fuck is going on. Why don’t I even remember eating dinner? How long have I been here? Why does my body hurt so much?

I came back to the present feeling slightly uneasy. I remembered now a little bit of what happened when I got to my parents house and a little bit of what happened after I woke up from my nap. They managed to convince me everything was fine after that and I left assuming they were telling me the truth because I was too tired and too annoyed to argue. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered just how much of what they said is true. Why were there huge gaps in my time with them? And why do I get the feeling that the weird gut feeling I have isn’t a coincidence? I got lost in thought again but it was peaceful this time and quiet which I was relishing in.

Unfortunately the peace and quiet only lasted for a few minutes when I started to get what I assumed were dozens of texts. I finally got fed up and decided to silence my phone completely. When I unlocked it I saw a glimpse of some of the worried texts from the team. They all pretty much said the same thing;

“Y/N please come back. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t believe you. I’m just concerned about you. I want to talk and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just please come back.”- Ali

“Hey kid, heard what happened. Wanna talk?”- T

“Y/n where are you? I heard what happened and that you left?? please come back, we’re worried.”- Christen

“Bruh what the hell? let’s talk?”- Ash

“where r u?”- Mal

“It’s not safe for you to be out by yourself. Ali told us about the other bruises. Whatever this is we’ll help you. We’re gonna start searching for you if you don’t get your ass back here soon. We love you.”- Alex

And it went on like that as every single member of the team texted me some variation of that and the voicemails they all left were much the same. I started to feel more guilty but let my anger keep me from replying to them. They can stew a little longer.

Meanwhile back at the Hotel...

CHRISTEN PRO//

“Okay, so tell us exactly what happened.”

“I saw the bruises when she was changing, which I happened to walk in on. I don’t think she was expecting me. I asked her what happened and she said that nothing had happened and I asked her about the bruises I saw on her arm, shoulder and spine and she continued to tell me she has no idea where they came from. I told her I didn’t believe her and then she got upset and she just... left.”

“Just like that? She didn’t say where she was going?”

“No, she was so angry she just stormed out and when I tried to follow after her she was already gone.”

“And she’s still not answering her phone. Damnit kid come on, where are you?”

“She’s not safe out there on her own, we have to go look for her.”

“And how are we supposed to find her when she doesn’t have her location on and is doing everything she can’t to ignore us?”

“I have no idea but we have to try.”

“We will, but we should give her a little more time. It’s possible she’s just around the corner cooling off. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

“You’re right.”

“Guys I hate to steer us back into more serious topics but shouldn’t we be talking about the bruises she has that started all of this?”

“What do you guys think they’re from?” Megan asked.

“I want to believe her when she says she doesn’t know but I mean how can you just not know about bruises as severe as those?” Ash said.

“I mean... I’ve had some pretty bad ones I don’t remember getting from anywhere.” Mal said off-handily.

I saw some of the rest of the team nod silently, indicating that they too had, had the same thing happen to them. And I had to admit that I had my fair share of bumps and bruises that I couldn’t explain because they just seemed to appear but I was still concerned for our youngest teammate as it was getting pretty late and it was already dark outside.

“Oh god, you don’t think it’s her parents do you?” Tobin asked no one in particular.

We all paused for a moment to process what she was implying and I know we were silently hoping, praying that they wouldn’t do that to her. That they wouldn’t beat their own child.

“No, there’s no way. She’s told us that they love and support her and that even though they aren’t around much they still care about her.”

“Right, you’re right.”

“It has to be them though, I mean there’s no other explanation. She didn’t have them before or after practice right?” Alex asked.

“No, she didn’t.” Lindsey said solemnly.

“Do you really think parents can just flip a switch? Just like that? Be caring and supportive one minute and violent then next?”

“It’s possible.”

“No, just don’t even go there. I refuse to believe they would do that.”

“We would have seen the bruises if she had them before, since we all change in the same locker room together for practices and games remember?” I said

“Fuck. When I get my hands on them I swear to god...”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence because Y/n walked into the dining hall where we were all gathered.

“Get your hands on who?” She asked quietly

“Kid...”

“Y/n holy shit, thank god.”

“And she lives!... not the time? Got it.”

“Y/N... we need to talk.”

“Why? There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what Ali told you, but I don’t know where these fucking bruises came from okay? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me that’s fine but i’m not talking about it anymore.”

“Sweetie please just hear us out okay? We’re worried about you and getting defensive about them isn’t helping your case.” I said, trying to reach out for her but she backed away from me.

“Defensive? I’m just upset because you all still don’t seem to get it.”

“We want to get it, please just talk to us.”

“No.”

“Y/N, please just...”

“No! Okay, just no. I said we weren’t talking about it again and that’s final. What happened to “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” Huh, Ali? Good to know that was complete bullshit.”

“I’m sorry baby, please believe me, we just...”

“Oh believe you? For what? You clearly still don’t believe me so why should I give you that courtesy? You know what, this is all just fucking stupid anyways. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

And with that she disappeared up to the room she’s sharing with Ali. Leaving us all more confused and concerned than ever.

“Well... that went well.”

“Shut up Emily, so not the time.”

//End

Okay so yes that is yet another cliffhanger of sorts, I’m sorry but I thought that was a good place to end it. Just know that Y/N genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of what’s going on, just like she says. Her parents are definitely sus asf.

I’m actually writing part 3 rn so that should be up within the next day or so. I know I keep disappearing but my life is totally a mess rn lol. I’m back now tho and am excited to finally get to all the requests I have. Im so sorry for those waiting I haven’t forgotten. Promise.

-N

//

Not edited.

[stinkywinke]

Twelve Minutes

I am obsessed with twelve minutes sooo, why not make an imagine about it 🧍‍♀️

Also this is the first time I have ever used tumblr, and my grammar is very poor. I will try and get used to the way tumblr works and hopefully if I have any motivation I will start writing more :) My writing skills are bad so this is going to be choppy

Another note : The roles are reversed, so instead of the reader being the husband, its going the be the wife figuring everything.

clench ya butt cheeks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Readers POV:

No..no, no, no, this can’t be it

As I took a step into my apartment I heard my husband in the bathroom humming a soft tune. 10 minutes. The pills. The cop. The pocket watch.

“Hey, I didn’t hear you come in”

I looked up to see h/n (Husbands name) walking towards me with a smile and pulling me in to a passionate kiss.

“I made desert, let me know if your in the mood” He stated while making his way on to the couch.

I give a quick nod signaling that I would tell him when I was ready. Quickly glancing around my home I made my way to the sink and filled up a mug of water, the floorboards creaking in a specific spot as I ambled to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet grabbing ahold of the sleeping pills and pouring them into the mug, and going back into the living room to see h/n reading a book.

"I think its a good time for desert” I suggested

“Ok, babe” h/n replied with a sweet smile

He noticed the cup in my hand and turned around to the fridge and got the desert out. I placed the drugged mug by where h/n was sitting and got my own mug instead.

“So how was work?”

“It was alright, met a couple of new people, Its going great” I said as I saw h/n drinking his water

“How about you? How was your day?”

“Same old day I guess it just repeats itself” he said as his eyes started drooping down into a sleepy matter

Tch.. talk about repeating

“Im feeling so tired all of a sudden, Im gonna go lay down”

“Okay baby, goodnight”

As soon as I saw h/n close the bedroom door I scampered to the closet and closed the door behind me aware that the cop will be here in a few minutes

Now we wait…

“Police!, open up I have a warrant”

My breathe hitched as I heard him turn the doorknob and stepped into the house

“Hello?, anyone home?”

“Police” the cop shouted when he opened the door

“Police, I have a warrant”

He made his final call making his way into the bedroom,hearing the light switch turn on a scream came from the man as he layed unconscious on the floor. After hearing nothing but silence I crept out the door into the room, searching for the valuables from the cops uniform

The gun, 2 handcuffs, the knife, and the phone

As I did last time,Rolling him over, gripping both of his wrists and tieing them together, I remembered there was a little box with my mothers name on it.

A/N : I did change the baby clothes to a necklace, kind of like a bday gift

My hand trembled to the gift lying on the table next to the flowers, I held it and stuffed the box into my front pocket. I took my time staring at the man in awe and confusion

He’s already told me why he’s here, he told me he was a good friend of my husband’s father. He’s hiding something.

“Augh- what- you little shit”

The cop was stirring awake from the electrocution but only figuring it all together that he was handcuffed. He glared at my shoes as some kind of threat and saying words, pleading to be let go, I reached into my pocket pulling out the box and showing the man the name on the necklace

“Do you recognise this name?”

“Dahlia? Yeah I knew her so what?”

“Do you know anything about her?”

“Yeah, she was the mother of your husbands sister”

Mother of my husband’s sister? But that was my mothers name

“Just let me go you prick”

“I promise im innocent I dont have anything to do with this”

“Okay maybe if you let me go, I wont kill you” the cop stated in a cold and tone

I took the knife out of my pocket and handed him his things, he asked…

“Im here for a pocket watch very valuable… do you have it?”

“Yeah, I’ll go get it now”

Thoughts were running in my head as I went to go to the bathroom to get the strange watch

Mother of my husbands sister? Dahlia, thats my mothers name… no it can’t be.

I grasped the pocket watch in my hand, watching is slowly turn clock-wise

“Have you found it yet? I dont have all day!”

My hand gave out to him, as he took the pocket watch

“Im gonna need a few minutes with your husband, go sit on the couch, but if you do anything stupid, I’ll kill you..” he demanded

He’s gonna kill him, I know, so lets just let it happen.

BANG!

A bead of sweat drip down my forehead as I smelled the scent of blood coming from the other room

Mothers name of husbands sister, husband said he got a necklace with my mothers name on it, Dahlia. So if dahlia is my mother h/n is my… brother. My own brother is my husband. Fuck no please, I have to get out

Sprinted across the room to the door and made my way out just to end up in the same place as always.

“No.. fuck no no no no- this can’t be happening please”

My husband came out of the bathroom again with a panic and worry on his face and started to bombard me with questions.

“Y/n?”

“Baby are you ok?”

“What happened honey?”

“Whats wrong?”

I’ve had enough

“S-STOP IT, GO AWAY”

“Baby whats wrong” he pleaded with concern

“NO! Please I have to go” I shouted at him as I bolted through the door coming back to the same gentle humming tune coming from the bathroom.

“Hey, I didnt hear you come in”

Again met with the same eyes with my lover ugh- brother, I cant tell him, I cant.

“Hey babe” I said as he kissed me once again,

this is wrong

“I made dessert, let me know if your in the mood”

The same sentence every ten minutes.

Snatching the pocket watch from the ventilation grid, the grunting and groaning leaving my mouth as I tried to get up from the pain in my back,

The watch was broken. Turning the long handle I fixed it back to its place, 2 minutes before 12. I saw the world turn into a dark abyss, the watch turning anti clock- wise, my hand slowly fading into the tiles of the bathroom, my eyes growing heavy and started to close putting me into a deep sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey there he is… your back”

Huh?

“Look, I know this is a… terrible shock. But we need to be on the same page. Look, I… These feelings for my son… your brother. This isn’t how I wanted to tell you…you deserve… both of you deserve better.”

He said with a long pause

“Yknow the thing I hate the most, worst thing in the world?… Disappointing my lil boy. Well that was the worst thing…. And now a baby… you with your little… love… I guess it was always gonna happen”

He said as he walked around in disbelief and ignorance

“Nothing stays swallowed down forever. So, you gonna make a call”

“If i could go back..” I started

“Well. Things would be different. But you can’t just try again. Thats not how life works! So, you gotta make the choice, and make it now”

…

“Say something”

H/n’s book about zen..

“Fine!, your gonna force it by hand? Fine!”

“Hey “its only by forgetting that.. we ever really drop the thread of time, and approach the experience of living in the present moment””

“Ah, you’ve read that one, eh?”

“I know the idea of forgetting things sounds crazy but, what if… you could?

I can help with that if you want. All you have is the future, you’ll forget everything you went through. All the pain. All the stress. Forgotten forever. But, you need to understand there is no turning back. You can’t undo this… we can still talk about him but you need to choose an answer…”

I stared at the clock as I watch it about to turn twelve

“you don’t have to forget if you don’t want to, The choice is yours”

12:00

DING!

“ you do have a remarkable imagination… The stories you’ve created… but believing them so strongly, so deeply is unhealthy… you have to let him go… you can’t keep obsessing over him… sometimes things are just as what they are…

Its time for you to wake up…

[oftenderweapons]

Sooo, about the ask thing. First off all congratulations I love you and your writing 💜 you seem like such a nice, intelligent and funny person. But was thinking what if namjoon comes home drunk and guilty about something he did and vixen comforts him. Love u💋

Title: Drunk (&) In Love

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 2.6k

Genre: crack, fluff, (also, vaguely allusive)

Rating: 18+ cause THESE TWO ARE A MESS FOR EACH OTHER

Synopsis: apparently Namjoon's stag party went a bit too wild. Mostly since he was drinking guilt away. What could that possibly be about?

Trigger warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, horny!drunk Joon, he clumsily tries to seduce his fianceé in front of yoonjintae (second-hand embarrassment), stressing over vows, mentions of kinky letters, they discuss future and the fear of marrying young and pretty much out of the blue and they be mentioning the idea of having kids. Also, watch Vixen being the caregiver.

Author's note: Thanking the sweetheart @ironicarmy !!! I love exchanging WIPs and Beta reading! It was so fun and I AM LOVING YOUR WIP SO HARD IM GONNA EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait for it to be out so I can fangirl in public LOLOLOL; also thanking @dopesportsoperatorzonk for this request! (I got your feminism ask, I promise I'm almost done, I wanted to have a quite thorough view before replying and I'm still thinking about some stuff, but it'll be readdy super soon!!!)

Here's my masterlist, btw, and enjoy 💜✨

You weren't supposed to wait up for him, but it was like your sixth sense was telling you to do precisely that. And your premonition turned especially accurate once you were met with the sorry sight of Namjoon hanging off Taehyung's and Seokjin's body, grinning as he saw you appear at the door, head to toe smitten, only to turn to his friends with a sneer as he realised you were wearing his favourite silk robe. The deep crimson colour seemed to spark the colour of your hair on fire, and make the lineaments of your face sharper, older, with a kind of allure he still couldn't understand. “Little fox,” he said, going grabby hands while his arms were still around his friends' shoulders.

You tried to keep your expression stern as you looked at the two men literally holding him up. “What is this? Didn't I tell you to bring him home whole and safe?”

Taehyung lowered his gaze to the floor.

“Is this your idea of safe, Seokjin? I expected better.”

“You know him. He did this to himself.” Yoongi spoke neutrally from behind the three.

“Yoongi. Him being a fucking grizzly doesn't mean he can hold his liquor. Bring him in,” you said, freeing the entryway for the triplet coming in, Yoongi in tow.

“We should have brought him to the dorms,” he muttered.

“Dorms?!? Aneeyo…” Namjoon babbled, shaking his head, falling with his ass on the sofa. “No babylove in dorms,” he said with a hiccup. “Hello, little one,” he purred, grabbing your hips and trying to pull you towards him.

You blushed and slapped at his wrists. “I'll deal with you later—”

“Feisty brat,” he spoke sultrily, making Yoongi shake his head while Seokjin and Taehyung snickered before being chastised by your scolding stare.

“How come he's drunk off his ass and the three of you are perfectly okay?”

“He's the one getting married,” Taehyung replied, matter of factly. “And yes, he was the one who swallowed a bottle of hard liquor without even flinching.”

You glance at Namjoon with a scornful expression.

He did some very drunk, very clumsy attempt at a wink that made you inhale as you desperately looked for a crumb of patient left.

“You'd better go home, before I smack you all on the head,” you said, shooing them off.

“You'd have to reach it first,” Taehyung muttered, making Seokjin giggle, Yoongi rubbing his face at the verbal violence that was about to come.

“Kim Taehyung. I may not be tall enough for your royal head, but your girlfriend is my best friend. I won't say much more because I'm sure your friends aren't interested in your ass getting bruised.”

Yoongi smiled smugly at that one.

“Hell yeah…” Namjoon chuckled from the sofa, one hand reaching for the back of your thigh.

“No. Not now.”

“Later then?” He asked with puppy eyes before they turned into a very tipsy version of his intense dragon glance. “You’re so sexy when you’re mean,” he rumbled, a hand reaching for your thigh underneath the robe.

“Kim Namjoon, if you don’t stop I will unwife you in this instant.” Still, the other three men in the room were a mess of embarrassed coughing and teasing snorts. “You can all go home right now,” you said with a curt tone.

“You’re not gonna be able to take him to bed by yourself.” Yoongi cocked an eyebrow as he spoke calmly.

“Mh, Vixen, take me to bed, please,” Namjoon murmured as he tried to seduce you, just as you looked at him and replied, “No need to take him to bed. He’s sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“See? I told you she found out! She has a sixth sense for this stuff! She can sense it! She can smell fear! I told you!!!” Namjoon babbled, grabbing your wrist. “Little fox...” he cooed, making a fool of himself.

“Go home. All of you. Now.”

Taehyung was the first to leave without even saying goodbye. He knew he would pay for it. Seokjin was the next, saying bye to Namjoon very briefly before bowing to you — just slightly. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, goodnight,” he apologised, making his way out.

“Yoongi?”

He rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry. Really. I— I didn’t do my job.”

You shook your head. “This is a mess I’ll have to deal with.”

“You know you’ll kind of have to deal with him for the rest of your life, right?” Yoongi looked at Namjoon, head in his hands, fingers tugging at it nervously.

You followed his gaze, meeting Namjoon in the poorest of states. “I know. He’s my business now. Go.”

Yoongi left without much resistance after that, the door of your apartment finally shutting for good.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon said, staring up at you as you stood before him. “I fucked up, I’m sorry.”

You placed your hands on his cheeks. “What happened, Joonie bear?”

He shook his head, lip going wobbly. “I’m so sorry!” he babbled again, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“Oh, no, baby…” you managed to whisper before he dove for your lap, burying his face there. “What happened, love?”

He shook his head.

“Nothing’s gonna change the fact that I love you, big bear.” You caressed his hair as his voice confessed, half-muffled against your tummy.

“I sneaked a look at the dress.” You could hear his words coming out from a pout.

“Joonie—”

“Please don’t unwife me!” He cried out, his voice way too high pitched. “I don’t want to sleep alone ever.” He hugged your legs and held you closer. “I want to sleep next to you until I die.” He got even more emotional as he went on. “I want you to always pet my hair and tell me you’re proud of me and cook for me and be my sweetheart and my babylove and my little fox forever, even when we’re old and I get bald.”

You smiled and invited him to let go of your legs before sitting down, your legs slightly parted laying across the sofa. “Come here, big bear,” you said, patting your stomach. He did as he was told, laying his head below your chest and stretching his long body all over the seat. He struggled a little, his sense of balance temporarily worse than usual. “Soon I’ll be lawfully your bride. Forever. We’re almost there, honey. Just a week.”

He nodded.

“And then I’ll be your little fox until I’m nothing but ashes. And then some,” you reassured him, petting his lovely head, digging your fingers into the knots in his upper back.

“Writing the vows was so difficult.”

“I know baby,” you kept rubbing at his trapezoi until he released a relieved grunt. “I know that must have been really stressful for you.”

“I had to rewrite them sixteen times. Sixteen!” His hand absentmindedly reached your thigh and started rubbing small circles there. “Everytime, they were too long, or too cliché, or something I just couldn’t read in public because you know our letters.”

“I know our letters,” you confirmed, thinking about his messy handwriting on cheap paper, and entire sheets of words that he sent you everytime something important happened, everytime he had to travel for his job, everytime he just needed to make love to you on a deeper level. And then, thinking of your replies, always heartfelt, emotional, with fine calligraphy on expensive ivory sheets often marred with rough spots where a tear fell — most of the time because of joy and gratitude and obliterating, overwhelming love. “Will you read to me the other sixteen versions too, once we’re alone?”

He nodded. “I’ll read them all. I’ll write new ones every day. Small, simple, absolutely mundane. Stuff like, ‘I’ll do the dishes tonight’, or ‘Let’s go out for dinner’, or ‘I wanna grow old with you’ or ‘I don’t wanna watch that porn tonight, let’s just stare into each other’s eyes while naked and have the best tantric sex ever performed’.”

You chuckled and placed your hand atop of his. “I like the last one.”

“But I couldn’t say it in front of your parents, therefore I couldn’t write it in our vows.” He scoffed and shook his head before planting it between your breasts, nosing at the lapels of the robe until he could kiss your naked skin.

“I might have written something along those lines in one of my drafts.” Having this conversation with Namjoon while he was halfway drunk off his ass was extremely entertaining; however, you felt sad at the possibility of him not remembering this moment.

“What else did you write in that draft?” He closed his eyes, waiting for your soft voice to calm him down.

You smiled and slightly teared up at the thought, his chin propped on your chest, one of his thumbs reaching out to dry up a tear. “I wrote that I hope I get to make you smile every day and see that insanely cute and sexy dimple of yours every morning after you wake up. And I want to be the only one listening to your deep bedroom voice waking me up. And I want to listen to you as you talk to our children. I wanna hear all the stories, and watch your smile shine on their faces.”

Namjoon hid his face against your chest, feeling tears roll down his cheeks.

“I want them to have your eyes. I want to see your complete wonder as they learn about the world, as you teach them about the world in that grand and beautiful way you see it.” You sniffled and he cupped your face, kissing your lips so slowly, the heavy tang of liquor barely tainting the moment.

“I want to walk by your side, until we’re too tired to walk and watch time pass by, without worries, without haste. I don’t care where we’re walking because you were the place I was destined to be.”

Namjoon couldn’t explain tenderness or love or devotion or faith as deep as the ones he felt for you. He probably wasn’t skilled or trained enough.

“I know we’re young. I know this is more of a bet than an actual marriage. I’ve seen people who have been together for years part ways so easily and I don’t even know why you said yes to me. Sometimes I doubt I’m deserving and I see in how many ways I’m lacking and I ask myself, 'why the hell did she say yes to me?' ” He snickered sarcastically. “I wouldn’t have said yes to myself.”

You shook your head and kissed his brow.

“But I’ve been with other people and you have too and… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like this will take a lot of effort but then I hear you laugh, I hear you calling my name and I know, I can feel that that’s what it is supposed to sound like.”

You smiled at him, fixing your position so he could lay on you without worrying about smashing your body.

“I’m so confused and so grateful for this. It’s like… Suddenly winning the lottery. One minute you’re just a person and next you realise you’re going to be a husband. And you don’t know what’s going to happen to you, how your life is going to change, but with you I’m not scared.” He chuckled. “Well, I am. But you make me braver than my fears. And I know I could lose you any day. I could fuck up, or we could just drift apart or something. But any moment spent with you is bigger. It’s better and brighter.”

By now you were a teary mess, face drenched in tears, his arms around your torso as he held onto you. “My soul has found a home in you and I will cherish it. I’ll take care of that home. I’ll make sure nothing damages it. I’ll help you work on it if you want to change it. I will make more room when our family gets bigger. I will fix it when I can. I’ll stay by your side when I’m not skilled enough to heal you. To fix you.” He sniffled, voice hollow and weak as he spoke through a lump in his throat. “And I’ll leave if you ever ask me to.”

You shook your head and hugged him, letting him sob in your arms. “I hope I never lose you.”

“Don’t be a silly bear,” you comforted him, lulling him, holding him close to your heart. “I’ll be your bride. Your spouse. Your wife.” You kissed his head. “And your home. Your relief. Your dirty, secret affair. Your devoted companion too. Your goddess and your toy. I’ll be your friend. And the mother of your children, when we want to.”

God, if he wanted to… But first, he needed to enjoy having you all to himself for a couple more years. Just to make sure you hadn’t been both bold and immature and absolutely stupid about getting married almost two years after meeting for the first time.

“So I’m not getting unwifed for sneaking a peek at the dress?”

You shook your head. “It looks completely different once worn.”

“Really?” His expression exploded with euphoria.

You smiled. “Really.”

His drunken grin was back. “So I’m gonna sleep on the bed right?”

You acted as if you were even thinking about it. “You’re really drunk.”

“I’m soberer now.”

“And you embarrassed me in front of your friends,” you reminded him with a cocked eyebrow.

“Not my fault my wifey’s so hot,” he said with a slightly more accomplished wink.

“Not your wifey yet,” you reminded him.

He tutted. “Just a matter of days.” He kissed your sweet spot, on the side of your neck. “It’s only a technicality.”

You looked at him suspiciously. “A technicality, you say?”

He nodded and held you tighter.

“This technicality could still leave you at the altar, waiting,” you teased.

“Come on, I want to sleep next to you.” He kissed your cheek. “On our bed.” He kissed you again. “Where we’ll be making so many babies.”

“Stop right there, mister.” You placed a finger against his plush lips before you shook your head no. “No babies for a few years. I want you all mine, hubby.”

He chuckled and pressed his forehead against your chest bone. “Okay, fine, but I just meant hypothetically. You know, for practice.”

“Yeah, I think I could use some practice. I want to be perfect at it.”

He smiled and kissed your nose. If only she knew how perfect she is, he thought, haphazardly sitting up and waiting for you to help him on his feet, the whole discourse sobering him up enough that he managed to sit on the bench in the bathroom as you washed his face and brushed his teeth, as you undressed him and helped him in the shower, undressing and joining him, his body too tired and unstable to initiate anything fancy.

And then you towelled him up, rubbing body lotion on his always-too-dry legs before helping him in his boxers.

And through the process, he understood how it was that you loved him so much anytime he got you ready for bed. He should let you do this more often. Especially when he wasn’t exhausted or drunk, so he could properly enjoy being cuddled and fondled and babied.

What he didn’t expect was for it to feel so comfortable when you slid up against his back on the bed, spooning his ridiculously large body with your smaller one. “Sleep tight, big bear,” you said before kissing his nape. “Eight more sleeps and we’ll be married.”

He smiled. “Goodnight, little fox.” And with that, he caught your hand in his and fell asleep.

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Negan becomes obsessed with his mistress.]

Smut

Negan and Malia

Negan lay beside you smoking his cigarette as you lay on his chest. The two of you had just finished having wild sex as you usually did. You loved when he came over but you always hated when he had to leave.

"When are you going to bring me to your house?"

"Malia. We've already had this conversation before." He took another hit of the cigarette before putting it out.

"I know but theres always some kind of excuse. We either come to my house or a hotel and we've been dating for six months." Negan sighed as he rubbed your back before you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Any other man would've-"

"Dont fucking tell me what any other man would do with you cause you're not with any other damn man. You're with me."

Negan turned very serious, he hated even the mention of you being with someone else.

"Let me start going." He stood up leaving you naked in bed under the covers. You sighed as he went to the bathroom before hearing his phone buzz. Usually you wouldnt allow yourself to look at it but things had been too weird. Looking back up at the bathroom door you reached for his phone and found it to be unlocked. There was a text message from a woman named Lucille.

"Meet me at the hospital for my appointment, I'll be there till 4. I love you." You whispered the text message to yourself feeling your heart sink. Scrolling back to old messages you realized they lived together, Negan had a girlfriend? Anger started to rise in you as you went further and further each message telling you more before realizing, Negan didnt have a girlfriend...he was married.

The sound of the toilet flushing made you quickly look up and place the phone back where it was. You knew he had been lying about something but you had no idea it was to this extent. Standing up from the bed you began to get dressed as he came out of the bathroom fully dressed himself.

"And where the hell are you going?" He asked as he looked at you strangely.

"Where are you going?" You asked with a raised brow.

"I told you. I had some errands to run." He looked you dead in the eye with lies.

"With Lucille?" You placed your hand on your hip, you could tell by his expression you caught him off guard. Without saying a word he looked back at his phone then back to you.

"Yeah, I saw your stupid messages. Your wife is waiting for you at the hospital." You emphasized on the word wife, he could see you were angry, you were fuming.

"Sweetheart," he smirked.

"Dont sweetheart me, you lying piece of shit. You're married, you're fucking married."

"Listen Malia, it's been complicated." Negan spoke back with a tone you didnt like.

"Complicated? You had me as a damn mistress-"

"You're not a mistress." He raised his voice cutting you off.

"I think you need to go."

"We'll talk about this when I get back."

"I dont want you coming back." You shot back with a straight face.

"Well that's too damn bad, I said we'll talk about it when I get back." Negan walked past you leaving you in shock. You couldnt believe this man had the nerve to act this way. All this time he had someone else, all this time hes lived with another woman, you felt more rage than anything.

That night you wanted nothing but to go out for a drink, to hell with Negan. You put on a tight black dress and got yourself ready to go out and have fun at the local bar in town. Negan had been blowing up your phone but you didnt care. The second you texted him telling him that you wanted this relationship to be over, he flipped. Sitting down at the bar you already had a handsome man approach you and offer you a drink. The two of you hit it off laughing together as you continued to feel your phone buzz. The man sitting with you went to use the restroom as you sat smiling to yourself feeling good. In your own world, you hadn't noticed Negan enter the bar. Angrily he searched the place for you before spotting you sitting by yourself in a corner.

"You wanna answer your fucking messages?" You gasped to find Negan beside you.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I can say the same for you, sweetheart." He knew exactly where to find you as this was the same place the two of you had met.

"Negan, I told you we are done." Your response making him chuckle.

"I beg to differ, Malia." Just as you were about to respond the man you were flirting with all night sat beside you.

"Everything alright?" He asked making Negan give him a threatening glare.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Negan, stop it." You got nervous as the other man stood up defensively.

"I'm buying a drink for this fine woman, you got a problem?"

"This fine ass woman is my woman, so yeah I have a fucking problem. Let's go, Malia." Negan pulled out your chair and grabbed your arm.

"What the hell are you doing?!" You tried pulling your arm back but he wouldnt let go.

"Listen man she doesnt have to go with you if she doesnt want to."

"Hey asshole, I suggest you mind your fucking business." Negan practically pulled you off the chair and dragged you out the bar.

"Let go of me!" You screamed in the parking lot making him finally release you.

"Get in the fucking car, we're going home."

"I'm not going home, I dont wanna talk to you." You crossed your arms turning away from him.

"Sweetheart, I'm giving you one more chance. Get in the car."

"No." You responded flatly making him sigh before he suddenly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

"Stop it! Put me down!" You kicked but he held onto you tightly and sat you in the passenger seat of his truck.

"I gave you a chance to come here on your own didnt I?"

"You're crazy!" You screamed as you adjusted yourself on the seat eventually giving up.

"Oh I know." Negan climbed into the driver's seat and started the car before driving off. Angrily you remained silent looking out the window as you pulled down your dress. Negan looked over at you and licked his lips before looking back at the road.

"You look sexy." You didnt say a word to him as you remained looking away from him.

"Come on, baby. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" You took a deep breath clearly annoyed by him just wanting to get home. Finally he drove into your drive way and quickly you got out as he followed.

"Woah woah woah, I dont get a goodnight kiss?" You scoffed in disbelief.

"I cant believe you. Negan just go home, me and you are over."

"No we are not." He answered in a matter of fact tone.

"Malia, I love you."

"Unbelievable.." you muttered to yourself as he stepped closer.

"You think I dont love you? I left my damn wife at home to come find you because you didnt want to answer my damn messages." He raised his voice staring down at you.

"Oh, how romantic of you." You responded sarcastically before turning away from him and unlocking your door. Negan followed you inside as you shook off your high heels and threw your purse on the couch.

"You need to go."

"Im not leaving until we talk." You sighed in frustration before you turned to him.

"Fine, you wanna talk? Do you have any idea how many men I can have right now-"

"You be very careful where you're going with that, sweetheart." Negan cut you off slowly walking towards you.

"Oh please, I need to be careful with what I say? I was so close to getting fucked tonight by-"

"Hey!" He roared loudly making you jump. You swallowed nervously as he took another step closer looking down at you.

"No ones fucking you but me." A mixture of anger and arousal at his words made you look away.

"So.." you cleared your throat speaking calmly.

"You get to screw all the women you want and I have to be just for you?"

"Who said I was screwing anyone else?" He asked in a low voice.

"Negan, you're married." You stared up af him in disbelief.

"Yeah well, things are complicated, baby."

You turned away from him not wanting to hear anything else when your phone began to ring.

"Who the fuck is calling you at this time?"

You looked down at your phone noticing the name of the man you had just been talking to at the bar.

"You've gotta be kidding me, dont tell me you gave that asshole your number?"

"Yes, Negan I did. So what? Look, I think you should go. I just want to get in bed."

"I wanna get in bed with you."

"No. I want to be alone."

Negan moved closer to you slowly placing his hands on your hips.

"Come on, baby. You're really gonna stay pissed at me?"

"Are you joking?" You looked up at him feeling annoyed before he unexpectedly aggressively pulled you against him making your body slam against his.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" How can you not be mad at him, was he insane?

"Just go okay? We'll talk tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Negan agreed as his hands slowly fell from your hips.

Negan finally gave in, slamming the door loudly as he left for the night. Truth be told you didnt want to talk him or see him again. Who did he think you were, thinking youd be ok to be with a married man?

The next day at work you sat in your cubicle going over paperwork when one of your coworkers let you know your boyfriend was there.

"What?" You asked in shock and confusion when Negan appeared with a grin.

"Hey baby, I wanted to take you out for your lunch." You couldnt believe he had the nerve to show up and casually act like nothing had happened.

"Negan, I cant today. I have alot of work to catch up on." As you spoke, a male colleague of yours caught Negans eye, he noticed the man staring at your ass as he walked towards you from behind.

"Who's this asshole?" Negan asked you low making you turn to see your coworker, Peter approaching you.

"Peter, hi." You smiled, the sound of your voice excitedly saying another mans name made him look at you with deep furrowed brows.

"Good afternoon, gorgeous." The man reached in for a platonic kiss on the cheek with his hand on your waist making Negan tense up.

"Woah woah woah prick, keep your fucking hands to yourself."

"Negan." You turned to him bulging your eyes out.

"This is my boss." You spoke nervously as Negan chuckled.

"Oh wait, you're the boss that gave her that promotion a month back arent you? What you thought if you gave her a promotion youd get to tap that ass?"

"Negan! Peter...I'm so sorry-"

"Dont fucking be sorry for me, you dont see the way this asshole looks at you?" Negan responded angrily.

"Alright, Sir I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere without my woman." Peter gave you a warning glare making you sigh.

Pulling Negan outside you shoved his shoulder back angrily.

"Enough is enough, this is done Negan. I cant be with you anymore."

"Malia-"

"No I dont want to hear what you have to say. This has gone too far."

"Malia, God dammit.. you belong to me." His lip quivered as he spoke with intensity, the thought of Peter or any other man coming close to you made him enraged.

"Negan, I mean it I'm done. Do not come in here again because if you do, Peter will call security. Just stop, go home to your wife." And with that you walked away from him leaving him pissed. Negan wasnt ready to leave you, he couldnt help the feelings that he had for you. Whether you wanted to believe it or not Negan felt he truly loved you.

You felt no matter what you said to Negan he always found a way to go against it. He was a stubborn and persistent man. He had a temper towards any man that came close to you, he didnt trust it. Although you had feelings for him you didnt want to be apart of the mess any longer. You felt sorry for his wife, you felt betrayed, you were still angry.

The next day you woke up to the sound of chaos outside your house. There was screaming, sirens, you even thought you heard a few gunshots. Looking out the window you saw people screaming and running, there was blood everywhere. You gasped when you saw one man bite another.

"What the hell's going on?" You whispered to yourself before running to the tv and noticing all channels had no signal.

"Shit." You muttered before turning to your phone and noticing seven missed calls from Negan and a lost signal. You had no idea what the hell was going on but you knew that although you had feelings for Negan, this was your chance to break free from his possessiveness. This was your chance to get away.

Two years down the road many things had changed around you. The world changed as you knew it, you lost touch of everyone you knew and began staying with a small group. These things that came out attacking people, these walkers...they were like nothing the world had faced before. The group you were with was talking about another group they ran into, they called themselves "the saviors". They were the new threat you were all facing and they found where you all resided. One of the men said they were coming today, they had some sort of offer but your friend didnt sound convinced that it was a good one.

"Shit, I see their cars coming." Your friend Lenny muttered as he over looked the road.

"Everyone take your places!" You stood behind one of houses in the road with your hand gun and waited for the cars to pull up. The men slowly started to come out seeming to be waiting for one last man to come out. Taking a deep breath you squinted your eyes aiming your gun when a man you had not seen in two years came into view.

It was Negan.

Your lips parted in shock as you slowly bought your gun down. He came out of the car with an arrogant look. You couldnt believe it was actually him, he was the leader of the Saviors?

"Fuck.." you whispered to yourself looking around, you couldnt let him see you. You didnt want him to see you. Without alerting your group you turned running inside one of the houses, Negan instantly catching the quick movement.

"Woah, who was that?"

"Who?" Lenny looked behind him knowing you were the only one there. Negan didnt say a word signaling for one of his men, Simon to take over of watch for him. Negan made his way to the house slowly opening the door, you heard him enter from where you were upstairs and cursed to yourself.

"Come out come out wherever you are." He taunted you with sarcastic playfulness. Quietly you hid in one of the bedrooms hiding yourself in the closet. Negan wasnt a stupid man and you knew this, you began to hear him slowly make his way up the stairs.

"Come on lady, you're only making this harder for yourself." He yelled out before you heard him enter the very room you were in. You squeezed your eyes shut as you heard him look around the room. Your finger on the trigger as he carefully observed his surroundings, he right away noticed the closet door cracked.

"Oh you're just making this too damn easy for me." You took a deep breath as he moved towards the closet, the floors squeaking loudly before he opened the door. Negan was stunned at the sight of you, his brows were deeply knitted together before a smirk slowly appeared.

"Well shit, look who it is."

Slowly you lifted up the gun aiming it directly at him, finger on the trigger.

"That's cute."

"Back up." You spoke in a stern voice. Negan did as you asked as you slowly stepped out of the closet showing your full self. His eyes excitedly checking you out from head to toe. Your shoulder length hair had grown down to the middle of your back, the color also lighter than what he remembered.

"You look good, Malia."

"What the hell are your people doing to my group?"

"Your group huh? Did your group tell you how they got caught stealing from mine?"

"Stealing?" You asked with a puzzled expression.

"Oh yeah, sweetheart. Stealing, now how about you put that gun down and we can have a normal conversation." You didnt say a word nor move a muscle as he looked straight at you.

"Come on, have I ever fucking hurt you?"

"Funny you ask." You responded sarcastically remembering when you found out he was cheating with you.

"Baby girl, that was a long time ago now." You stayed silent staring at him for a moment before slowly putting the gun down.

"Good girl." He responded with an excited tone as you glared at him.

"You should take your people and leave," you responded bluntly making him frown.

"And leave my pretty little flower after I've just found her? I think the fuck not."

"Malia! You okay in there?" You heard Lenny yell from outside.

"Yes, I'm fine Lenny." You screamed back out the window before turning back to Negan.

"Lenny huh?" He licked his bottom lip as he stepped closer to you.

"Is he fucking you?"

"Dont start," you placed your hand your hip making him look down at your body and grin.

"God I always loved when you did that cute little pose." You crossed your arms clearly annoyed by him.

"Wheres your wife anyway, shouldn't you be off with her?" You noticed the look in his eyes change and just by the look you could tell what had happened.

"I'm sorry." A piece of you actually felt sorry for him.

"Well....I'm gonna go-" you went to walk past him before he gently grabbed your arm.

"Come on, dont leave me now." He looked over at you as you looked at the ground with a sigh.

"What are you gonna run off to that prick Lenny?"

"God dammit, Negan. You're still the same way." Negan chuckled before turning you fully towards him.

"What the hell makes you think I'd be any different?" His expression turning into a straight face.

"You dont think I've spent days wondering what the fuck happened to you? Wondering if you were still alive? You think now that I've found you I'll let any man take you from me?" You looked up at him speechlessly. His territorial ways were far from gone but a part of you did actually miss him. You shook your head looking away making him get closer to you.

"Tell me you didnt fucking miss me." Negan spoke aggresivly getting closer to you as you stepped back.

"Go ahead, say it so I can see the bullshit in your eyes."

"Stop it!"

"Or what!" He yelled back before realizing you wanted him to stop because you were getting aroused. He could tell by the way you were breathing, the way you couldnt look him in the eyes. Negan knew you all too well, the thought made him smirk.

"Am I making you all hot and bothered, sweetheart?"

"The hell makes you think that?" You responded defensively knowing he wasnt wrong.

"I dont know, you've got that look in your eye." Negans eyes lit up as he began to remember things that happened between the two of you.

"What look?"

"The look you'd always get everytime I teased you. You remember those days dont you?" Negan leaned in with his lips close to your ear.

"When I used to kiss every part of you and tell you how you were mine and only fucking mine." You heard him smile against you as you continued to listen to him. Truth be told, he was turning you on as much as you tried to fight it.

"You still are mine, you know that dont you?" You felt his hand slowly slide up your thigh as he began to kiss your neck making your eyes clothes. This is actually what you were trying to avoid, you knew his touch could make you weak. He knew what you liked and he took advantage of it. He slid his tongue around your neck making you moan softly against him.

"Negan....everyone's..downstairs-"

"Fuck them." He whispered roughly before he threw everything off the vanity beside you and turned you around, bending you over it. You squealed with excitement as he lowered your pants and his. He couldnt wait to feel you, he didnt even bother getting fully undressed. Not wasting anytime Negan thrusted himself into you making you scream.

"Oh yeah.." he groaned, you were already wet for him. He grabbed your waist hard as he slammed into you with full force. The vanity slamming against the wall loudly with each thrust, you melted by the feel of him.

"Look up," he ordered you aggresivly pulling you by your hair and holding your arms behind you. He made you look into the mirror in front of you. The pain was satisfying, Negans expression as he fucked you only turned you on more.

"You see that?" He panted against your ear.

"You're mine, only I can fuck you like this." Your lips parted but no sound came out as he moved faster.

"You hear me?!" He tugged at your hair hard making you scream.

"Yes!" You cried out as he bit down on his bottom lip hard before suddenly pulling out.

"Turn around-" he panted making you get on your knees as you quickly opened your mouth and he quickly came on your tongue. You took his cock in your mouth whole making him weak in the knees, sucking him dry.

"Fuck.." he whispered as you pulled away and swallowed every drop, wiping the corner of your lips. Negan was drenched in sweater under his leather jacket, you could see a sweat stain on his chest through his white shirt.

"God damn, Malia."

You smiled licking your lips as you fixed your clothes. Negan wiped his sweat off his face cleared his throat as he fixed his belt.

"Now what?" You whispered as he looked at you with a satisfying smile. Negan walked towards you and slowly caressed the side of your face as he looked at your lips.

"Now you come with me, baby and we finish where we left off." Negan leaned in and kissed you passionately, your stomach began to flutter. You hated that this man got to you like this but you couldnt help yourself. You had never stopped loving Negan and you wanted him all along.

[cunningambitousdetermined]

Do You Love Me? (I Loved You Part 2: young!Sirius x Reader)

ahhh im so excited to write this! @aseriousfckingmess and @iamninaanna AND @maraudersbitvh​ asked for this and i was so happy bc i had so so many ideas and even more feelings. thank you to everyone who read my last two things i’ve written, i feel so so lucky and so happy. and thank you to those who spurred my ideas for a part 2! thank you thank you thank you. 

this is the second part to I Loved You which i wrote for @vogueweasley‘s challenge. so here it goes:

warnings: swearing, fluff, some angst, walburga being a butthole

not my gif

“Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?” With that she turned on your heel and ran out of the dorm. Sirius stood and watched as you got smaller and smaller and with step she took, his anger ebbed a little. And then she was gone, leaving behind the boy who loved her.

“Mate,” Remus’s voice was cool and collected but the undertone of fury shook Sirius out of his stupor. “What the actual fuck did you do?” Remus swore often- he was always tripping over his long limbs, mumbling curses under his breath- but this, this, was calm fury. His jaw was wound tight and his eyes bore through Sirius. 

“Moony, I- I- What?” Sirius whispered, his voice sounded like the sad ending chord of a symphony as it moved and filled and soared through the space between them. “I- I- She hates me?” The realization rocked Sirius so hard, he found his knees skidding the rough carpet of the floor, Y/N’s words filled every inch of his head, spilling out his ears, mouth, his nose. “She hates me.” The only person who had ever seen past the arrogant smirk, the only person who had ever wiped his tears, whispered his fears away. The only person who had ever loved him, was gone. Gone. 

Remus needed to sit down. His whole body was buzzing with anger at Sirius. How could he hurt her? Why would he hurt her? It didn’t matter though. All that mattered was how sad Y/N looked, how tired and then how angry she had become. That wasn’t the kind, soft, funny, Y/N he knew. This was hurt, and betrayed and broken. He went to move the lumps in Y/N’s pillow aside when his hand brushed against paper. Remus dug his hand down farther underneath the sheet and grasped the paper. It was a letter and a stack of small papers, crumpled and wet with tears. He glanced down at Sirius, in his current shocked state and began to read. 

Sirius shook the tears from his eyes and turned to find Moony reading some papers on Y/N’s bed. Y/N’s bed. The one he’d used to sleep in. The one that he used to whisper the love of his life to sleep in. His mind was filled with thoughts, memories, and ocean of words and kisses and hugs. 

“YOU ARSE!” a screech shattered the rose tinted memories, Remus was up and towering over Sirius. “YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD! I TRUSTED YOU! I TRUSTED YOU NOT TO HURT HER! YOU PROMISED! HOW COULD YOU?! SHE WAS NOTHING BUT GOOD AND KIND AND WONDERFUL TO YOU! SHE GAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU AND YOU BROKE HER! YOU BROKE HER!” Remus’s hands were shaking in an effort not to hit Sirius, he didn’t know the boy in front of him. It was occurring to him that maybe he never did. “YOU DON’T DESERVE HER AND YOU NEVER WILL!” He tossed the letters at Sirius’s face and with a turn Remus stormed out of the room and once again Sirius was walked away from, by the people who loved him most. 

Y/N was racing around the castle, trying not to break. She just needed to find a place. She paced past the stairwell to the Gryffindor Tower and stalled. She had taken those stairs and cuddled in his bed. She had kissed him awake and kissed him goodnight there. The memories came in waves, flowing down the stairs, kisses and hugs, fights and making up, crying and laughing until their stomachs hurt. Barefoot, racing toward the common room, collapsing on the couch, reading out loud. His smile, his eyes. His laugh, his cry, his nose all the way down to his toes. She knew it all. 

“Y/N?” a soft voice inquired, large hands placed on her shoulders, the soft smell of chocolate wafted through her nose. Remus.

She slowly turned around and was met by her best friends eyes drowned in worry. She croaked, “Did you know Rem? Did you know?” Her eyes filled with tears once more and she turned away, embarrassed. 

“No.” Remus slid his fingers under her chin, tilting her face up to meet his eyes. “No, no no. I never knew. I never thought he could even...” Remus trailed off as the tears spilled down her cheeks, “Come with me, love.” He then tucked Y/N under his arm and started to walk. She dug her face into his neck and smiled softly as she felt his hand encircle her own with a soft squeeze. Right now she just needed her best friend, who had always been there no matter what. And somehow he always just knew what she needed. As they entered Remus’s dorm and he threw her some comfy clothes and a book, she thanked him internally. Thanked whatever higher being there was that she had ended up with the best friend in the entire world. Her heart felt a little bit light as she snuggled into his side and he began to read aloud as he had done so many times before. 

“Rem?” she questioned, turning her gaze to his soft green eyes. 

“Yes?” his soft smile gave her made tears fill her eyes in gratitude.

“Thank you,”

“What for, darling?” Remus let his hands card softly through her hair as she looked away.

“Everything.” That word held so much meaning for them. Everything meant all the full moons, all the hard days and the good ones. All the sad moments and all the happy ones, all the time they had just been there. The quiet moments of just reading and the loud ones filled with laughter and joy. Everything just meant Remus existing. Thank you, she said, thank you for it all. 

Sirius would watch them from afar. His heart would ache as he hid around the corners as Remus and Y/N would walk to class. He would turn in his bed to hold her only to grab at cold sheets, to tell her a joke but she wasn’t there. To ask her if she really thought he was enough even if his family didn’t. If she didn’t think he was an awful person. Before, she would have held him and with words so soft, she would’ve told him how much she loved him and that he was real, human and it was okay to feel. But now, he was an awful person. Remus wouldn’t talk to him, Y/N wouldn’t look at him, and he was tired. 

He didn’t sleep anymore. All he could do was lay awake in hope of never falling into the dreams where Y/N would yell at him. Would curse him, spit at him. It was all his fault that she was gone. His fault that she couldn’t meet his eye. His fault that she hated him. Even drowning in these thoughts, he felt a confusion. What had he done? 

Sirius was sitting by the dying embers of the fire one night when footsteps echoed from behind him. “Sirius?” James’s groggy voice called, “What’s going on?” He didn’t answer. The footsteps got closer until James was next to him, sitting down. “Pads?” his voice had softened to one of worry, “Hey, tell me what’s up?”

“I can’t sleep James,” Sirius’s voice sounded like broken glass, the echo of happiness all but lost, “I love her. And I don’t even know what I did, but she’s gone. She’s gone. She’s gone, she’s gone, she’s gone. I love her. She was the only thing that mattered. I lost it all. I lost my family, my mom, my dad, my brother. My cousins. But I had her. And you guys but, with her... it was different.” James put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder and Sirius collapsed into James’s side. “She got it. And she was all I had. All that kept me good inside. The glue that held me together. SHE’S GONE!” and it went like that, Sirius sobbing into James, repeating how he didn’t know what he did, he loved her, he did. James just held him, his broken best friend as he cried for the girl he had lost. And James cried. He cried for his best friend who had been hurt so much and lost it all. He cried for the girl he once knew. But when his tears ran out and Sirius drifted off to let sleep’s greedy claws take him, he had an epiphany. Whether or not they liked it, Sirius and Y/N would forever be each others catalysts. The only way to balance was together. Apart, they would just keep on falling. 

James found a sense of resolve as he walked over to where Remus and Y/N lay under a tree, reading. 

“James...” Remus acknowledged him with caution, but James wasn’t done. 

“Remus, can I speak to you?” he asked, motioning to a spot not far off from the tree, “It won’t be long.” Remus glanced down at Y/N who offered James a tentative smile and wave. 

“Go on, Rem.” She said, “I’ll be fine.” With one last suspicious look, Remus got up and followed James to the shaded area where James leaned against the cool stone wall.

“Jam-” Remus began, but James was faster.

“Just let me say something.” James needed to know, “I just have to know. What happened?”

“Sirius didn’t tell you?” The bite in Remus’s voice made James flinch and he saw Remus’s face soften to apology. 

“No. He hasn’t slept, he lost it last night. Just blubbering about love and how he just didn’t know what he did!” James cried, “What did he do?”

“Tonight.” Remus’s face hardened now, “Room of Requirement, and bring Sirius. We need to have a little chat.” He then whipped around and resumed his position with Y/N, placing a brotherly kiss to the top of her head. Remus gave James a look which he took as a sign to leave. Sighing, he trudged off, hoping that Sirius wasn’t going to end up in the hospital wing tonight.

Remus paced impatiently in the seventh floor corridor as he waited for is roommates to show up. Just as he was about to go drag them from wherever they had gotten themselves sidetracked, James rounded the corner, dragging Sirius behind him. James stopped in front of Remus and shoved Sirius forward. He looked up and Remus’s heart clenched. His eyes were sunken deep and his eyes held a pain so deep he had to look away. He closed his eyes and heard the familiar scratching of the wall becoming the door. Remus couldn’t stomach a glance back at his friends sad face as he pushed the door open. Inside, there were plush couches and loveseats scattered around near a small fireplace. Remus took up a position curled into a loveseat and raised an eyebrow in expectation at James and Sirius. They quickly took their spots. James sitting on the floor while Sirius sat stiff backed on the couch. The silence and tension thickened as Remus started Sirius down, his eyes burning through his long tousled locks. James finally had enough, “AHEM.” Sirius’s head shot up, “Remus, please tell us what the bloody hell is going on.” Remus sighed and pulled the stack of well work paper from his pocket. Glancing down and then at Sirius’s hurt face, he let out another tired sigh. 

“What happened is that Sirius, our dear friend,” The way he spat the word friend had Sirius flinching and James’s eyes widening. “was using Y/N. To get back at his mother. And, and I quote  ‘ It doesn’t hurt that I get sex. I mean I could have any girl but damn, she gave herself to me so fast. Even I didn’t know I was that good. ‘” He let out a hard breath as Sirius’s face still looked painted with confusion.

James had stood up and was towering over Sirius, “YOU DID WHAT?!” he screamed, “YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS DIFFERENT!” Remus was in shock, he had never seen James yell at Sirius before. And he barely ever saw James angry. 

Sirius couldn’t even register the things that James was saying. He didn’t write that. No, no he didn’t. He loved her more then anything. She was the only one who cared. She kept him human in his family of monsters. She kept his feet on the ground when his head was in the clouds. He loved her. This was supposed to be the real thing. Like forever, this was it for him. “I didn’t- I would never- Remus-” The shock that she had read those words hit him like a knife to the gut. Remus threw the paper down at him and Sirius scrambled to read them all. Note after note after note saying awful things. Each time he read something he felt the knife twist as he realized she read this. His love. Thought.... he couldn’t even bare to finish the thought. He kept going and going. He knew he didn’t write these, his handwriting was neater then that, crafted to perfection by his mother. But all the things that the notes said; worthless, mudblood, fat, ugly. His Y/N was stunning, took his breath away, blood status didn’t matter. She was worth more then anything this world could offer. She was his world. The notes just kept going, the pile seemed endless. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to puke or go find you and get drunk on your kisses. He could feel Remus and James’s stares on him as he rifled through the papers. Just as he was about to turn away from them and tell his friends that theses weren’t his, a signet caught his eye. The Noble House of Black signet. He yanked the letter out and his eyes frantically scanned the page. His mother’s tone made his stomach churn. It was no wonder she hated him now. He might not be able to get her back, this was quite unforgivable, but he could put her heart at ease. He still loved her. But did she still love him?

“Remus, James; I didn’t write these” His voice came out raspy and shaky from the tears he didn’t even realize were falling down his face, hot waterfalls cascading on the papers. He cleared his throat and continued, “It was Regulus and Walburga. I know it. I love her. I don’t care about her blood status, I never have! She was it for me.” He lowered his head, “I know that I hurt her by putting her in harms way and she might still hate me, but I can try and fix what I’ve broken. I know I don’t deserve her and I never have, but she’s all I have and I need her. I need her to know how I feel. I need her know I love her and I’m sorry.” Sirius was crying harder but his voice was firm. Remus and James exchanged looks that very clearly said He’s telling the truth. Remus sunk to his knees and took Sirius into his arms. “Do you believe me?” Sirius’s voice was cracked and tired.

Remus tugged him closer letting Sirius’s tears soak through his sweater, “Yeah, yeah I do believe you. I’m sorry that I yelled at you, I didn’t even think.... but it all makes so much sense. She told me Regulus gave her the letters, and I mean Reg is a nice enough kid on his own but something seemed off. You’re my best friend and I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I’m sorry. But if you ever really hurt her...” Sirius made a noise somewhere between a sob and a chuckle. 

“I know, I know... you did the right thing. If I did that, I would murder me too.” The boys laughed and James joined the hug. Sirius gave his smallest but most real smile in the weeks it had been. He had his friends back, now all that was left was her.

Sirius was shaking. Like actually shaking. He stood outside your dorm door as Remus knocked softly. “Y/N?” he called, “Can I come in?” 

“Remus? Come on in!” A soft voice floated out the door and he felt his mind go blank, his only thought was to get to her. James tried to shake him but he could only think about his skin on hers. The delicate shape of her hips and the small curve of her smile. His mind spun, would she forgive him? Could she forgive him? With one last glance back, Remus pushed the door open. Sirius froze. There she was. She had never looked more stunning in shorts and a old t-shirt of... his? Yeah, that was his shirt. His heart leapt, she was wearing his shirt. 

Y/N was petrified. What was he doing here? Her heart clenched, he looked so soft, and her whole body ached with the effort to run to him. “Siri...?” her voice came out soft and wispy, high and broken. His whole face broke open at the tears in your eyes. Y/N whipped around, furiously wiping at her tears. “Leave.” she croaked, “please.” 

Remus let a hand massage her shoulder, “Love, just listen to what he has to say. I would not have brought him here to hurt you, you know that.” She gazed up at her best friend with glassy eyes and scanned his face. His face only held love for her and strangely enough, hope. 

She turned away again, letting Remus’s hand fall of her shoulder, “Fine.”

Sirius stepped forward and took a breath. This was it. There was no going back or do overs anymore. “Y/N, I love you.” he began, “And I always will. Those notes, they weren’t from me. Regulus wrote them after he told Walburga about us. He must’ve seen you sneaking in or with me in the yard. They took you away from me to hurt me. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I’m sorry for making you a target. But none of that bullshit if true. I love you and you are perfect. You are my whole entire world. You are my oxygen and I’m struggling to breathe right now. I love you so much and I know I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness but I need to know. Do you love me?”

Y/N was shocked. It all made sense, the notes, Regulus. The tears pooled in her eyes slipped out and she sobbed, hands clasped over her mouth. She had missed him so much and here he was in all his glory, with his long hair and his grey eyes, asking her if she loved him. She did, there was nothing to ask. 

“Y/N?” Sirius whispered and she realized she had been silent for much to long. 

“Of course I love you, you arsehole!” That was all it took to break Sirius and he was running at her and sweeping her up into his arms. Her breath fanned over his neck and he pulled back to gaze at the face he had been missing so much. The soul that completed him. 

“Do you forgive me?” he whispered as he inched closer to her lips.

She closed the gap, pressing her lips against his and his heart had never felt lighter. She pulled away softly and Sirius panted as he laughed at the sheer happiness of it all. “There’s nothing to forgive baby.” She breathed against his lips and went back to kissing him. He kissed her neck and her cheeks muttering all the things he loved about her between kisses. James and Remus shared a disgusted but happy look as they slipped out the room.

 “I love you Sirius Black and don’t you ever forget it.”

wow sorry the ending was rushed and idk but it’s done! thank you guys so much for reading this ahhhh im so happy that you guys liked it enough for a part 2! i love you guys!

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

changbin x reader | part three of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst for a lil bit woo

↬ warnings; talk of perinatal depression, cursing, n labor 

↬ notes; changbin babi 🥺  ALSO ITS CHANGBIN DAY WOOO ITS MY BABYS BDAYYYYY SO I HAD TO POST THIS |

u two had just freshly started an official, public relationship

ofc changbin was freaking out while he was chilling in the bathtub behind the curtain so u could pee on the test already

u two were looking at the line coming in, praying that there would be only o n e 😳

slowly the other line comes in, dark blue n clear alongside the other one

“holy fuck—“

“what do we do?” you asked, your voice wavering while setting the test back down

his hands cupped your face, giving u a soft kiss n hugging you

“we got this, we’re having a baby, baby!” he started to joke and yall burst out laughing while crying in the bathroom

the first few months were amazing

ur lil bump sprouted out n u two were so happy about it

changbin is just so attentive and excited about this pregnancy and his first born

u really couldn’t have been better with ur lil family that was starting to become realer with each day

u two r such bullies yall r like

“what happened? ur a softie now binnie!!”

n he’d say shit like, “well at least i don’t pee every hour on the clock!!”

he makes u cry one time n u use that against him everytime u want something bc he feels guilty >:)

cute lil things like asking the baby what they want to eat or talking to it before the bed

(changbin reads the baby goodnight moon one time and ur just so in love like wow 🥺)

he secretly talks to the baby when you sleep every night because hes waiting for when ur little bean will reply back with a kick or a hand

he is W H I P P E D for u n ur baby bump

nursery is already done at five months

he needs all of the boys to come over though to help him figure out the instructions 😳 these are co nfusi ngg

they notice how smiley n giggly he is when he talks about u two and looking at the finished crib hes just so proud

yall r so happy and content with ur baby that was an accident, but u guys are so happy this happened

but something changes within u

changbin notices your lack of interest in the pregnancy during ur sixth month

ur sleeping pattern was off n u would sleep for hours during the day and night

u were very irritable, not wanting changbin to cuddle with u or kiss u like he did everytime he came back from practice :(

u were always unhappy and always so moody, he just wanted u to be happy 🥺

he is so confused and worried ab u, some days ur not eating or some days u don’t even wake up in the mornings like u used to

sometimes— just sometimes he’d come back home to find u in the same spot, asleep

he’s so fucking scared when ur around seven months that he can’t hold it in anymore

“are—are you okay?” he questions u from the doorway, making u stop to look at him in the mirror

ur eyes were cold, setting down the towel u were drying ur hair with and leaving him by himself while heading into ur bedroom

“don’t you dare fucking walk away from me.”

ur s h oo k

he was really nice during the pregnancy everyday, super bubbly and kind so u were shocked to hear his upset tone

“i can and i will, i’ll just go sleep in another fuckin room.” u mumbled, changbin grabbing ur hands and turning u around to face him

u struggle for a bit while ur arguing with him and telling him to let go so u could go to sleep

“stop! i am your boyfriend, i am the only one who is going to care for you like this. i am the only one who is dying, seeing you like this. do you understand? we’ve been through seven months of this together, it was fine for awhile and now you’re fucking turning me away?”

hes shouting at this point, hes just so pissed after three months of not having answers and your attitudes and arguments, he cannot handle it

u start crying

hes quick to hold you, pulling u down to the bed so u don’t have to stand on ur tired feet anymore

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 🥺🥺🥺

he insists u two will find out n u both will get thru this rough patch together

perinatal depression, they diagnosed u

changbin is so upset when he hears the doctors tell u

everything is making sense to him and he’s just so heartbroken he didn’t put two and two together earlier

he takes time off for the time being to make sure ur taking care of urself

hes watching u like a hawk but trying not to make it evident

the first time u ask him for a kiss, he gives u dozens

he hadn't been asked for kisses in so long he was so relieved 🥺

he’s constantly telling u how beautiful u r and talking to ur bump about how they have the best genes and their uncles

this man is a father already it seems

he is ur #1 face mask partner cause he buys the cute ones only because u deserve the cute ones that r ur favorite ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

cooking together is something that happens, not often but every once in awhile he will let u do small things

cut up some lettuce? sure! pour in the soup broth? of course u can! taste test his food? always.

he wants to make sure ur comfortable with him touching u or kissing u or what hes saying

“i love you.” he’s mumbling, quickly placing a kiss against the fabric of one of his own shirts that was worn by u and fit u like a dress still

he then goes up to ur cheek n presses a kiss to it, ur hand cupping his jaw and letting him kiss ur lips >.<

also u guys let out a quiet talk of pregnancy to the public, letting jyp release a notice on changbin’s absence from live-streams and posts with the boys

u two received a lot of positive feedback which changbin let u read the positive ones n loved when u smiled at each one

u were overdue by a week which was the worst, ur back hurt and u had migraines

u also were put on bed-rest for the next week before u could be inducted

u guys waited out the week and u got scheduled for an induction

the labor was really slow which sucked because u just wanted to hold ur baby already :(

rly intimate moments like chan just holding u n rocking u like a baby

u guys are given this position to move the baby down, your knees on the ground so u could kneel against the bed and changbin would hold ur hips n rock them

he just feels so bad he can’t do anything to help u with the pain 🥺

yall kinda vibing with the hospital food (idk bout yall but some food from hospitals smack chile)

“i just want to go home.” :(

u bet ur ass he scoots into ur hospital bed, holding ur hands n u just cry into his shoulder

he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces when he listens to u cry out of pain

his free hands holds your jaw, making u look up at him

“we’re almost done baby, okay? i know it hurts, if i could i would take your pain in a heartbeat. you are incredibly strong and i’m so proud of you. you just need to hang in here for a few more hours, yeah? you think you can do that?”

u give him the weakest smile ever but its better than nothing

u reach 10cm!!!

now the part that wasn’t fun was the pushing :/

u were hurting, u were tired, and u had been promised almost seven times that all u need was one more push but no matter what, it seemed like the baby wasnt budging

“the cord is wrapped around the neck, we need you to stop pushing. okay?”

ur too tired and stopping the pushing sounded good so u did as they said but when they told u they needed to actually reach in and unwrap it ur blood ran cold

u both were worried about how much u could take

u screamed, god it hurt and it felt like hours of them twisting but it was a mere minute

the labor progressed n there it was

“a girl!”

u two are like faucets or waterfalls

shes literally the perfect mixture of u both 🥺

he washed her hair n helped wrap her up in a blanket, giving her over to u for the first time

u both were just in love with her, she was absolutely perfect

he’s obsessed with her, taking in that baby scent, the scent of the light baby shampoo and the bit of baby powder that lingered throughout her onesie

her hair wooooww its so soft n fluffy

her little baby pout and her puffy cheeks

i can see him calling her bunny for awhile as a childhood nickname

he’ll just be like

“oh that’s my bunny!!”

weird look from u but ur heart melts while he bounces her in his arms n gives her some kissies and running his fingers thru her hair

he’s also rly soft, i don’t see him singing but i see him definitely whispering to her about how she’s gonna grow up and have the best life because thats his little girl

“ur gonna have eight uncles, they are crazy but it’s okay. u definitely lucked out on fathers though, i’m pretty good at lullaby's. u did get great genes too, u have a handsome daddy and a gorgeous mommy. we worked really hard on making u, please don’t hurt ur cute little face. u also have a storm coming, there’s a thing called stays, they are gonna adore you, i promise.”

omgomgomgomg jejejejeje im blushing at the thought of this i just adore dad changbin 

u guys may or may not be planning for another but it definitely would happen in a few years

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[smokahuntis]

Weightless

Nothing Personal

Pairing: Javier peña x reader

Warnings: set last name, cursing, mentions of sex and death. Masterbation, night mares.

Summery: he embassy calls in a new agent to assist agents Peña and Murphy

Authors note: I’m back and I’m going to try and start a series! Based on the album Nothing Personal by All Time Low. This would be chapter one.

Word count: 3.4K

Manage me, I’m a mess

“Agent (y/n) Carter” the ambassador said as she gave them the files “she will be joining, this is everything you need to know in her and she will be here later today.

Javier nodded as he picked up the file “of course, madam ambassador” he stood with a crooked grin and looked her over “and may I say, you look amazing in pink” he said softly and kindly. Steve just rolled his eyes and walked towards the door.

“Keep dreaming Peña” she shook her head and let them leave to review the file.

Turn a page, I’m a book half unread

“Agent Carter ” Javier handed Steve the file. “ ‘DEA’s finest’” he mocked and lit up his cigarette as he set back. Letting the smoke fill his lungs as he took a long drag of his Colombian cigarette. He watched Steve waiting for his opinion.

Steve only chuckled and set the papers down “I went to academy with her...” he said, javiers eyes lit up before he shook his head

“I didn’t mean-“

“We aren’t friends it okay” Steve chuckled.

I wanna be laughed at, laughed with, just because

“Oh- okay... okay...” pena leaned back again as the smoke clouded the humid air around them.

“She was always an overachiever, no one really liked her in my class” he chuckled and put the file away. “Way to smart to be choosing dea, but there she was. Didnt talk to anyone, didn’t let anyone talk to her.” He shrugged “I’d be surprised if she talked to us”

I wanna feel weightless and that should be enough

“So beware shes a bitch?” Javier chuckled and put his cigarette out

“Yep” Steve got up and grabbed his empty coffee cup. “Want a coffee?”

“Not from here...” he shook his head and got up.

“You know back home I always chose Colombian brew coffee, and now I’m in colombia and I don’t see why I thought it was good” Steve chuckled as they walked together to get a drink at the coffee place across the street.

“I’ve spend out money on more valuable things then coffee machines that aren’t from the 60s and beans that aren’t 2 years old” Javier joked and shook his head as they strutted the halls. They were such a duo, splitting them into a trio is a sin, but they’d have to get used to it.

Well I’m stuck in this fucking rut

Meanwhile back in LAX (y/n)’s brother tried to convince her it wasn’t worth it. “Colombia is dangerous right now, you could get killed- or- or worse!” Thomas said following her.

“What’s worse then dying?” She watched him with a bit of a cocky grin.

“You could end up like- like Kiki” he said without thinking before she grabbed her brothers collar roughly.

“You don’t say a damn word about Kiki... plus” she let him go and wiped her Dainty hand on her white button up. “After what the US did to the Sinaloa I think I’m safe from that” she sighed and kept walking.

“(Y/n) listen- please... I can’t loose my sister, not to- Pablo Escobar” he grabbed her hand. She turned and looked at him with upset eyes. “You’re all I have left...” he whispered

Waiting on a second-Hand pick-me-up

It was true, she was all he had left, dad was away over seas and mom was gone. Their oldest brother died years ago, it was just her and Thomas. But they were both adults now, she could do what she wanted, and she had been. But now she was a little worried for Thomas.

“I’ll call, and I’ll visit when I can, just go home Thomas... I’ll be okay” she said looking at him, before the warning for her flight went off, 10 minutes now. “I love you, I have to go” she hugged her younger brother before she left.

I’m getting over getting older

(Y/n) looked over her files on the plane, she knew it was a matter of time before escobar knew who she was so she didn’t hide it. She didn’t care, she knew he was almost untouchable. Almost.

(Y/n) had been all over for the DEA, her most frequented place however was Mexico. She worked in Mexico for a long time, she was young and stupid and she kinda thought it was the DEA’s way of getting rid of waste, expecting her to die at the hands of the Sinaloa. However she returned very much alive, and very much tearing open at the seems. She still has nightmares of her time there, but she didn’t care, she had to keep going, for him.

If I could just find the time

Javier set up the stuff in the meeting room before he made his way home for the night. His little two bit apartment given to him by the Embassy. It was nice, he knew that, but it always felt cold and empty, that’s why he filled it with girls, smoke, alcohol smells. It was like a fucking bar. He tried to not bring work home with him but he couldn’t help it most nights, things either bothered him to much or had to be done sooner then later. Some days he wanted to feel weightless, and those days he could escape the heavy burden of people lives depending on him. The ones he couldn’t save, or the ones he’s trying to save. He was trying so hard, but he couldn’t escape.

He needed air, that’s what it was. Right now when he felt his chest collapse on him, he needed aid, real air. So he was quick to make his way out the door and to the front steps of the apartment building, he almost didn’t see her. The (h/c) girl standing there at the steps with her bags. He almost took her out, but he stopped in time.

“I’m- im sorry uh- can I help you?” He asked clearing his throat as he looked at her. She pulled her hood off and looked up at him holding her bags close to her

Then I would never let another day go by

“This is the embassy apartments right?” She asked with a soft shivering smile. He was quick to answer, maybe to quick.

“Yea! Yea this is- this is them yea... you’re-“ he started but she cut him off.

“(Y/n) Carter, yes- hi- um- sorry I didn’t mean to cut you off I’m just tired and cold and really want to get inside. He nodded understanding, completely forgotting why he came out here as he looked into her eyes, illuminated by the yellow street lights behind him.

“I’ll show you to your apartment” he smiled and took her in, she was just across the hall from him. Her apartment identical in most ways, however her kitchen was bigger and so was her bathroom.

I’m over getting old

“Thank you, you must be Agent Peña” she smiled as he got the key from the leafy palm in the corner, unlocking her door for her.

“That I am” he smiled and helped with her bags. If he was going to be stuck with her he wanted to be nice. He didn’t want another agent, him and Steve were doing just on their own, but the embasssy expected things to be done instantly, but they are putting to many cooks in the kitchen.

“Thank you for helping, you didn’t need to” she smiled and set her bags down on the bed and looked at him.

“Of course” he smiled and set her things down with the rest. “So, we’re you invited or did you request to be transferred”

Maybe it’s not my weekend

(Y/n) looked at him and pushed hair behind her ears and shook her head. “I requested it actually, I requested it months ago really but-“

“Why would you want to be here? You know what’s happening-“

“That’s exactly why I want to be here” she stood straighter and looked at him. “You need all the help you can get it seems- and I understand if you don’t want me here because I’m a women”

“No! No no- no that isn’t it I promise” he said feeling a bit of his earlier panic come back, but it was only a little. “I don’t care you’re a women I’ve seen your file you’ve done amazing things but we were doing just fine without you...” Javier said looking at her, his hand up in defense.

“Then why did the embassy want me here ASAP?” She asked crossing her arms.

“Because they think we are stupid or something... they expect things done instantly and it’s impossible.” He explained. She nodded and sighed

“I understand that feeling. But I’m here to help... I promise” she looked at him as the moon light filtered threw her window

But it’s gonna be my year

He nodded and sighed “I’ll just let you get some sleep, I’ll see you at the office” he walked out of her room, giving her one last look as he smiled “goodnight Agent Carter” he walked out to his apartment again.

(Y/n) sighed and unpacked all she could tonight and took a few melatonin and went to sleep, trying to get on the schedule.

It wasn’t hard for her to get up in the morning, making her own coffee and getting ready early. She wanted to be there before them so she could go over things and get caught up. So getting ready quickly she tied her hair up in a tight ponytail and made her way to the office. She was always on time or early, wanting to get ahead of things or finish work so she didn’t have to bring things home.

I’m so sick of watching all the minutes pass as I go nowhere

Javier however, couldnt manage to get himself out of sleep. Stuck in a long nightmare that has his body aching and sweating to wake up but he was stuck there, in that spot in the sticky cotton sheets. He tossed and turned but al he could see was the blood, every scene he’d been to, it took a toll on him. He couldn’t help it anymore, couldn’t hold them back, couldn’t stay up and drink a shit ton of coffee and just keep going.

He was hurting himself even more trying to ignore it. He was lost in a sea of sound, until finally he woke up, alone and covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

“Fuck....” he shook his head and got out of bed, throwing his things in the wash before he got in the shower. He felt so exhausted from sleeping, that’s not right. He hated this constant feeling, it was so much. He couldn’t even escape at home. Seemed the only time he felt fine was when he was baring himself inside a women of the night and telling her how perfect she was, only to wake up alone and try to relive that moment in the shower by himself.

This is my reaction to everything I fear

It was no secret, Javier Peña was a ladies man. To get in the head of the cartel he slept with the same women as the cartel, did it work? Yes occasionally. But it wasn’t that anymore, it wasn’t just work, it was a form of escape now. Was he a sex addict? Yes, most definitely. Did he care? No, because it was release in more ways then one and that’s all he wanted.

He did have a talent tho, remembering every name, every face. Every women. He was a talented man. But right now that didn’t matter, what mattered to him in this moment was making himself feel weightless as hot water ran down his body. He was alone last night, after showing (y/n) her apartment he went home and to bed. So he had nothing to relieve, no face to see when he closed his eyes. Oh... how he was wrong.

Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t wanna waste another minute here

There she was, the beauty he met last night. (Y/n) carter. Why was she what he thought about right now? He just met her. She was his partner and he’d only see her face and hands, that’s not even enough for a weirdo to get off. But it was enough for him to wrap his hand around his throbbing cock and leaning his head back as he stroked himself.

His chest heaving and his eyes rolling back as he pumped his fat cock in his hand. Soft grunts escaped his mouth before the words left it “(y/n)... fuck...” he groaned.

He didn’t even know the girl and he was getting off in his shower to her.

This could be all that I’ve waited for

He didn’t know why he felt like this, but in his mind he had her on her knees, her lips wrapped around his tip as she took him down her little throat, just that image made him let out a loud moan. Soon his balls tightened and he was coming all over her face, and down the drain.

He shook his head as he opened his eyes and looked at the mess he made. Causing him to sigh heavily and clean up before he got dressed and ready, trying to get the idea out of his head. It was his first day with her, and he wanted to fuck her. Wow.

This could be everything I don’t wanna dream anymore

When he got there she was already liking over things, remembering faces and writing in her notebook. She looked peaceful there, just staring at a cork-board of killers and drug lords. He could tell quickly this is her environment.

“Hey” he said setting down his coffee and taking off his brown leather jacket. She turned with an other bright smiled and looked at him, her smile lit of the room and made his chest feel tight, but not like his panic the night before, this was warm and different.

“Hey” she said in her silk tone as she set her note book down. “ I hope you don’t mind I’m taking my own notes.”

“Not at all, whatever makes you comfortable” he smiled at her softly. At that moment Steve walked in with his own coffee and pen. He was way to quick to notice the look in javiers eyes, the interest he had in her.

“Thanks” she smiled before looking at Steve “Steve Murphy, wow... hi” she smiled and shook his hand.

“Hey Carter, it’s been awhile” he chuckled and shook her hand

“It’s been more then awhile” she smiled and looked up at him

Maybe it’s not my weekend, but it’s gonna be my year.

“Well it’s good to know we have a good agent on our team” he smiled. “So what are you working on”

“Just taking my own notes so I can memorize things faster and get caught up” she smiled at them.

“Oh did you color coat them too?” He asked a little to condescending. She sighed and caught on quickly but went on.

“No I did not. I’m not a preppy teenager.” She stated simply before walking back to take notes.

“While you do that we are going to go do real things okay?” He grabbed his coffe and walked out with Javier. (Y/n) was pretty used to sexist comments or people thinking she couldn’t do things so she brushed it off, however Javier didn’t.

I’m going crazy, I’m stuck in here

“What the hell was that?!” Javjer looked at Steve and closed the door as they got into their little office.

“What was what?” Steve asked and set his things down.

“You being an asshole to her, what did she do to you?” Javier said taking up for her.

“I don’t know Javier what’s up with you? Staring at her like you’re guess engagement ring sizes!” Steve argued, they argued way to often. Like a married couple really.

“I was not!” Javier scoffed “I can’t be nice to my new coworker?”

“Just yesterday you were dreading her! And now you have heart eyes all over her” Steve said

Maybe it’s not my weekend but it’s gonna be my year

“I don’t have heart eyes, I’m just looking at her, damn” he sat down and opened his earliest files and started work.

“I’m sure” Steve shook his head before starting to work.

Soon (y/n) made her way to the office and walked in and almost fell over with a heart attack “my god, how do you work in such mess” she asked looking around.

“Mess? I think it’s pretty clean” Steve said looking around

“The only clean place here is my desk and it’s still covered in papers. “ she looked at him and set her things down.

“ okay I’ll admit, it’s a bit messy, but we know whether everything is” he leaned back. Just as he said that, Peña who wasn’t paying attention spoke up.

“I can’t find that file from yesterday” he sighed, giving (y/n) the perfect example.

“See!” She looked at Steve.

“Okay fine, we could organize...” he sighed.

I’m so sick of watching am three minutes pass as I go nowhere

After hours of cleaning the office was organized and they found things much easier, so much quicker and efficient. So much so that Javier could ask

“Okay now I need the First Medellin file” he said softly and it was quickly put on his desk.

“See that’s not bad...” (y/n) smiled softly and looked between them.

“But we just wasted so much time doing that” Steve said

“But we are going to save so much more now that it’s organized” she crossed her arms. She was right, organizing the office was the best decision they’d made all year, it helped get things done faster and cleared their minds.

And this is my reaction to everything I fear.

It was a small thing, to organize the office, but when Javier got home he decided to clean the apartment too, washing the bed sheets and making everything up after. Cooking a meal instead of ordering. Just have a day of cleaning up and doing normal people things, it made him sleep better already. The nightmares had calmed down and everything was fine. He was peaceful for a moment, a minute, a few seconds. And then there it was, the scream that made (y/n) drop everything and go to his apartment, he left the door unlocked so it was easy for her to get in and get to his bed side instantly.

“Javier!” She said grabbing his shoulders and shaking him awake. He was starting to sweat again, just as she grabbed him, her touch alone calmed down the terror of his mind, causing him to wake.

“(Y/n)...” he whispered tiredly as he looked at her, she was in a robe, her hair wrapped loosely in a towel.

“Hey buddy” she smiled softly, trying to comfort him in anyway. She didn’t know anything about him but she wanted to try her best to make him feel better, to make him feel weightless.

“What are you doing here...” he asked laying back. She pushed his hair out of his face and massaged his scalp softly as she spoke.

“You screamed and I came as soon as I could... I thought something happened” she answered and watched him, he was gorgeous here, with the moon light covering his glistening chest, highlighting his face and messy hair.

“I’m sorry- I- I didn’t mean too” he said as he sighed.

“It’s okay... I understand... I used to do the same thing after Mexico” she admitted. They barely knew a damn thing but they both felt comfortable with each other.

“How did you get it to stop...” he asked

“Well I did go to therapy but it never seemed to help, so I did what I did as a kid, I get something to read and read till I can’t keep my eyes open, it makes your mind think on the topics of the book rather then the other mess...” she whispered and pulled his covers back over him. He nodded and smiled “I could read to you tonight if you want...”

“You don’t have to do that”

“I don’t mind... get comfy I’ll find something...” she smiled and went to get a book. His eyes trailed her long legs as she walked out to get a book, why did he feel so open and comfortable with her, he just met her.

Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t wanna waste a minute here

Taglist: @thinemineours @morgannope @thisis-theway @onabouteverything @blxwjobsforclones @a-dorin @everythinggeeky

This will be a series I hope, so if you want to be tagged in this or more Javier peña stuff please let me know!

[desertofsnowflakes]

Incorrect Order Chapter 6 (Nessian AU)

A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't been updated in more than two weeks. I had exams :/ Also, do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: Language

1572 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smile Cassian plastered on his face didn’t reach his eyes. His brothers saw that. Feyre and Elain saw that. Mor and Amren knew that. He himself did. But they didn’t say anything. If it weren’t Feyre’s anniversary, he would’ve even gone home. He couldn’t though. He wouldn’t do anything that would hurt his family. So he stayed. Smiled. Joked. Laughed. Did everything he could to keep his mind from straying to a grey-eyed masterpiece.

Az and Rhys saw, he knew. They always seemed to realise everything about each other. Even if one of them had a minor headache, the other two would know. Tonight, however, none of them pushed him. They probably thought he wanted to be alone. But did he? Truly?

He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to be alone. That would make memories of their lunch rise. Of her shirt splattered with coffee on one day and blood on another. Of her pale form laying on his bed. Of her, enjoying his food. Of their shared jokes. He didn’t think he could take that.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to be around people either. He didn’t know if he could stay around people who laughed and teased. He didn’t know if he could laugh with them and actually mean it. He didn’t know if he could anytime soon.

Cass glanced at the clock. 3.00 a.m. He smiled. Whenever they gathered around in the living room, retiring early was totally off the table. The earliest they dispersed was four in the morning.

To his right, Rhys sighed. “It’s late,” he said, tucking Feyre close to his side. “Gotta go to bed.”

He smirked, but held back the joke on the tip of his tongue. After a chorus of goodnights, Rhys and Feyre told them they could stay here tonight if they wanted to and rose to go upstairs. Feyre laughed at something Rhys said and Cass felt a pang of sadness hit him.

Sadness… and something else. He knew he shouldn’t, but he envied the both of them. How easily they bantered and teased. How smooth their relationship was. He remembered how Feyre locked herself in the cabin after Rhys proposed. He remembered how she asked Mor not to let anyone in, especially Rhys. He sighed. He felt an amount of the jealousy dissipate. Probably Nesta would get together with him after their slight misunderstanding passed. If it did.

He got up to leave when Az stopped him. “You sure you’re going back?” Cass didn’t remember telling Az that he was going back. Then again he didn't need to. Az always saw everything. “You're not that… somber.”

Ah. Cass smiled. “I'll be fine, ” he reassured. Az still didn't let him go. “I'll send you a text once I'm home,” he tried. Az sighed.

“I'll be waiting for it.”

Cass looked at Mor, drunk and blabbering before stepping out of the house. He kept replaying that memory till he reached home, keeping his mind occupied. He was scared of what would happen if he kept his thoughts idle.

He informed Az that he reached home. He didn't know why going back home felt like preparing for a battle. It probably was a battle. Between her and his self-restraint. What was at stake here was his sanity. Cass sighed. He stepped in through the threshold and welcomed the darkness that enveloped him.

***

Stop crying like a baby, Nesta repeatedly reminded herself. Why should she cry? Nothing here was her fault. Nothing.

Not the fact that she let his charmed smiles bring her guards down. Not the fact that she felt alive when he said something stupidly funny. Certainly not the fact that she was slowly falling for him.

None of it was her fault. So why should she cry? Why should she stop herself from attending her own sister's anniversary? When it was all his fault.

She shouldn't be crying. She should be thinking about ways of exploiting his weaknesses. She should think about how she would portray him as the weak one. She should think about how she was going to make him regret everything.

But how could she make him regret it when she never regretted a second of it? She hated that this was where her thoughts went first. To scheming and plotting. She thought she changed. Did she regret her wish to be good? No. She reveled in it. No, she vowed herself, I would not scheme to make him beg. I'm not that Nesta anymore. I'll never be.

She was proud of herself. She never realised her self restraint was this good.

But apparently not good enough. Her thoughts drifted back to him. No, not him. Cassian. Cauldron, it'll take some time to get used to calling him Cassian. Or maybe Cass. Feyre and Rhysand called him that. Probably she would too. She thought about what he called her. Nes. She flushed. That stupid name did stupid things to her. She pretended she didn't like it. In fact, she loved it. Somehow, she wasn't ready to tell him that yet.

***

Nesta blinked open her eyes against the morning light. Her eyes were closed? It was morning already? Huh.

It took her some time for her eyes to adjust. She screamed at what she saw. Nesta scrambled back from the looming figure of Tomas, leering at her face.

“Nesta, Nesta, ” he said in his eerie voice. It became scarier with his sing-song tone. “My Nesta.” He paused. “Though I suppose you aren't mine anymore. You were still mine last time, you know. When you handed me over to the police. ”

She bared her teeth, opened her mouth to say something when his hand closed around her throat.

“But now, I suppose I can't call you mine anymore, can I? That reminds me. Where is your bodyguard? Or is that brute your boyfriend?” He spat the last word. His hand tightened around her neck.

“Do you know what he did to me? Your bastard. Did you know how he threatened me? Did you know that he smashed my bones, that it took me this long to heal?”

Some sort of savage satisfaction filled her. The fact that Cassian did all this… she smirked. It didn't go unnoticed by Tomas. He growled, the sound sending icy fingers ghosting down her spine. She hoped she didn't have to hear it again.

His hand around her throat pushed her farther back on the bed. He drew back, she let loose a relieved breath. A mistake.

His hand cracked on her cheek. He came infinitely closer to her, his hot, rancid breath glancing off her cheeks. His hand kept tightening around her throat and she wondered how she wasn’t dead yet. It was certainly bruised now.

“Look at you. So vulnerable. So killable. I’ve imagined how I would slit your throat. So many ideas. If only I could kill you in all the ways I imagined. But do you know what is the best way I could kill you?”

Nesta let him talk. He loved to hear himself talk. She subtly looked around her room, searching for anything she could use as a weapon. She looked back at Tomas. He wasn’t talking. Did he ask her a question?

“Tell me, Nesta. Do you know what is the best way to kill you?” Nesta shook her head, his hand pressed around her throat. Tomas smiled. She cringed mentally.

“I think the best way to kill you and make it hurt is to kill you slowly. You know what makes it better? Having that bastard watch you die. Let him watch the life seep out of you. And then I’ll kill him too.” he said and she felt the room closing in. Panic was slowly rising in her.

“Now, now,” he said. She supposed he meant to be cajoling but the effect his voice gave was the exact opposite. “There’s no need to panic. I told you I’ll kill you only when your bodyguard is there.”

He pulled out a knife. She gasped and pain erupted around her throat. Her lungs were burning.

“But darling,” he said. She whimpered. She hated this. She hated that she was vulnerable here. She hated that she couldn’t do anything when her death was slowly nearing. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Then his knife struck. Nothing hurt at first. Then, fiery pain whipped through her, beginning at her arm. She screamed. Pain. There was so much pain. She screamed so loud she pondered how the whole neighborhood didn’t hear anything.

***

Nesta gasped. Her eyes darted through her room. Nothing. No one. She looked at her arm. No pain. No scars. No blood. She touched her throat. It wasn’t sore. It wasn’t swollen. She got out of bed and looked at her mirror. No bruises. She let out a frustrated sound. It was a dream. A fucking dream. Or she supposed it was a nightmare. Still. It wasn’t real.

It was still five in the morning. Still quite early. She released a breath. She wouldn’t find a cab now but she could walk. It wasn’t that far. She fixed her hair and changed her clothes. She wasn’t going because she missed him. She just didn’t want to be vulnerable again. That’s all. She just wanted to know how to defend herself. Nothing else. So Nesta went to Cassian’s house, hoping that she’s making the right choice.

taglist: @shadowsinger07 @im-someone-i-guess @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @nehemikkele @angelic-voice-1997 @heartless--aromantic @sv0430 @irenethaleia @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @sjm-things @dontgetsalmonella @ganseys-jane

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 10

A/N- Another update??? What is going on??! hope you all enjoy this part 💕 Please like/share/reblog.

Within days of being back home from our weekend at Chris's the lockdown was announced and I spent a day packing up some of mine and Masons belongings that we might need while staying with Chris. While i was feeling very nervous about having to spend this time with Chris, Mason was over the moon! He was so excited that we had to go stay with Chris and Dodger.

Chris arrived early with Scott and they loaded our things into Chris's car.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" Scott said happily.

"Are you staying at Chris's too?"

"I am!"

"Oh god that means you're gonna be trying to get me drunk!"

"Well duh!" He laughed shrugging like it should have been a given.

"God help me you two are gonna be trouble" Chris said shaking his head as he helped Mason into his carseat.

"You knew what you were getting yourself into".

While Chris and Scott started bickering i turned and saw Brian coming out of his house, he stood and watched us and then started to walk towards us.

"Oh shit.... quick lets go, Brians coming over!"

"This guy!" Chris said through gritted teeth shaking his head and looking a little pissed off.

"Morning neighbour!" Brian called out, i turned and gave a quick wave.

"You and Mason leaving?"

"Yep, we're gonna ride this out with family" i nodded and felt Chris wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him.

"Come on sweetheart we should go"

"Yeah sure, take care Brian"

"Wait, you look so familiar...." Brian suddenly said looking more closely at Chris "where have i seen you before?"

"I just have one of those faces, i get that a lot" Chris shrugged casually opening my door for me.

"Yeah maybe..... hey Y/N, i was thinking after this lockdown is over maybe you and i can get dinner...."

Was he serious right now??

"Dude really??!....." Chris snapped looking at Brian shaking his head.

"What?"

Chris closed my door and stood towering over Brian as they exchanged words i could no longer hear. Chris was soon strutting round to the driver side of the car while Brian stood there looking pissed. I turned to look at Chris as he got into the car, he was fuming. He started the car and pulled away onto the road, his grip on the steering wheel so tight his knuckles went white.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked him quietly.

"I will be knowing you and Mason are away from that creep"

"What did you say to him?"

"We'll talk about it later, i don't want Mace to hear"

"Okay, but can you please try and calm down....."

"Im Fine"

"Tell your face that, plus you're kinda white knuckling the steering wheel there....."

"Sorry.... sorry. Im fine really...." he loosened his grip and gave me a tight lipped smile.

"Always so protective" Scott chuckled from the back seat earning him a glare in the rear view mirror.

"Scott i swear to god...."

"Come on boys behave, this lockdown hasn't even started yet and you're bickering"

"You sure you don't wanna go stay with Ma....." Chris muttered at Scott making us all laugh.

The first week of lockdown quickly passed, there was no news on when the lockdown would let up so we were all just enjoying our time together.....It was just like old times. I called my mom and Hannah everyday just to check in and have some female conversation but other than that it was just me and the Evan's boys in our little quarantine bubble.

I was in the kitchen making breakfast when Chris walked in sporting a new haircut..... the buzzcut was back!

"Wow...... you've shaved your hair...."

"Yeah" he run his hand over his head blushing a little "fancied a change, its been a long time since i can just cut my hair when i want"

"Right, Marvel owned it before"

"No...."

"You know i'm right" i shrugged "i always did like the buzzcut look though"

"Yeah i remember....." he smirked.

"Morning family!" Scott said loudly walking into the kitchen "What happened to your hair??"

"Fancied a change, plus now i haven't gotta worry about my hair everyday"

"You know that actually sounds kinda smart..... have you seen my bed head??"

"Kinda hard to miss Scotty" i snickered behind my hand looking at his hair that was sticking up left, right and centre.

"Maybe i should do it too"

"And me!" Mason said smiling big at us "i want hair like dads too!"

"Oh my god Chris what have you started..."

"Sorry...."

"No its fine, its only hair. It'll grow back right.... i guess now is as good a time as any for a haircut".

After breakfast Chris took Mason for his hair cut while i showered and dressed for the day. The next time i saw them all three were sporting buzzcuts and i had to admit it was very cute!

"Let me get a photo of you three, this is just too cute to pass up" i smiled grabbing my phone. I snapped a few photo's and forwarded them to Chris and Scott before setting one as my lock screen and slipping my phone back into my pocket.

"Oh my god i love this.... i'm gonna get this blown up and framed on my wall" Chris smiled looking at the photo.

"Let me get one of you three" Scott jumped up and pulled me towards the sofa where Chris and Mason still sat.

"Oh.... we dont have to do that....."

"Come on, it'll be nice to have at least one photo of the three of us" Chris said looking up at me with those damn ocean eyes of his that always made me week.

"Okay, sure" i nodded taking the seat next to Mason.

"Move in a bit closer....." Scott said trying to get us all in frame, we both leaned in closer to Mason and smiled while Scott took the photo.

"Oh i'm good..... this is great you guys" Scott said before both our phones were receiving photo's from Scott. I couldn't help the smile on my face when i saw how lovely the photo had come out.

"Okay you did good, i love this"

"This ones going up too by the way" Chris looked at me with a huge smile.

"You don't have to do that...."

"You kidding me? I want to"

"Fair enough, its your house. I just don't think your girlfriend will appreciate it much".

"Okay..... who wants lunch??" Scott asked loudly interrupting, it had suddenly got a bit awkward at the mention of Lindsey so i just got up quickly and followed Scott into the kitchen.

Once Mason was in bed for the night the alcohol came out. We watched some old movie (that Chris found hilarious) played some card games which somehow led to childish drinking games and before we knew it we were all pretty wasted!

"Right you guys i'm going to bed, i physically can not drink anymore" Scott said getting to his feet and stumbling making Chris and I laugh.

"Dude you're such a lightweight" Chris rolled his eyes at his brother.

"Shut up. Goodnight.... love you both"

"Night Scotty, love you" i smiled up at him from where i was laying on sofa.

"Night bro, love ya".

Chris and I sat in silence for a few minutes, just the sounds on the TV playing in the background.

"You want another beer?" He asked getting up from the armchair he had been occupying all night.

"Sure, i'll have one more before bed".

While Chris went to grab the beers i sat and reached for my phone to make sure i hadn't missed any messages from my mom or Hannah. There was a photo from Hannah that made me laugh just as Chris walked back in with the beers.

"Hannah just sent me this photo..." i said to him turning my phone to show him a photo of Lucas who now had a buzzcut.

"Haha! Oh god i really started something didn't i?" He laughed looking a bit guilty.

"I sent her a photo of Mason's new haircut earlier, she said Lucas wouldn't shut up about wanting the same.... looks like he got his way"

"You gotta admit it looks cute though?"

"Yeah okay i'll give you that. Mason is like your little mini me, even more so than usual"

"He’s just missing the beard"

"I think we've still got some time until that happens" i laughed "you definitely have strong genes Evans.....that boy literally inherited none of my looks"

"No but he's got your attitude and sass"

"Hey!"

"Im kidding.... mostly"

"Ass" i muttered shaking my head at him before taking a mouthful of my beer.

"He might look like me but his personality is all you sweetheart... he's an amazing kid"

"Yeah he is, id be lost without him"

"I kinda love having you both here" Chris added avoiding eye contact with me.

"Its been nice, just remember its not permanent...."

"I know, i know" he nodded quickly "you know when i came in and saw you laughing at your phone, my first thought was that it might've been Derek.... i hate that guy and i don't even know him" he scoffed "how sad is that?"

"Chris....."

"I know, its none of my business who you date or whatever"

"You're right it is none of your business. But just for the record, there's nothing going on with Derek, we were gonna go for dinner before this lockdown stuff but i haven't spoken to him since"

"Oh...."

"Can i ask you something?" I turned to face him, he looked up and nodded finally looking at me.

"Why isn't Lindsey here?"

"What?...."

"Why isn't Lindsey staying with you? I mean you guys are obviously serious if you came looking for that divorce but she isn't here....."

Chris looked away again coughing to clear his throat.... was he nervous??

"Lindsey isn't here because i ended it"

"What?... when?"

"When i found out i had a son. When i saw you again and realised anything i thought i felt for her was a lie"

"Are you fucking with me right now?"

"No. Im just being honest. Y/N, i know i fucked up when i ended things with us.... it was the biggest mistake of my life and i regret it everyday.... but i never stopped loving you. Not for one god damn second...."

I suddenly felt very sober, my heart pounding in my chest.

“You’re just saying this because you’ve had too much to drink...” i muttered shaking my head.

“You’re probably right, doesn’t mean its not true. Ive just been keeping it to myself” Chris suddenly got up and came to sit next me taking hold of my hand “i know my timings sucks but i just needed you to know..... and i just need to know if there is any chance at all that you’d give me another chance.....”

“Chris i really don’t think now is a good time to talk about this.... we’ve both had too much to drink..... if you’re serious about this i think we need to have this conversation sober”

“But you’re willing to have that conversation?”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow” i nodded pulling my hand free and standing up “i’m gonna go to bed.... goodnight”.

I had to put some distance between us before i did something id regret in the morning.

It was safe to say i wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

@jakiki94 @torntaltos @buchanansebba

[overheardatthecontinental]

Kinktober Day 1: Monster Fucking

I’m so sorry y’all

She had always been told not to be afraid. There was no moving shadow in her closet and there was no monster under her bed. Monsters weren’t real. She was safe. Nothing was going to get her.

But Helen knew they were wrong. 

She wasn’t afraid of him, not anymore. When she was very young, the sight of him or his shadow would make her heart race with anxiety and fear. But he never hurt her. On one occasion, she had tried to jump from her bed to run and had fallen and scraped her knee. The boogeyman had picked her back up and placed her in the bed and tucked her in.

When she was nine, she learned to stop talking about him. She had brought him up at dinner one time too many and her parents decided she was too old to still see monsters under the bed and in her closet. They sent her to a shrink who told her that the boogeyman was just a manifestation of her fears.

Helen didn’t like the psychiatrist. He was very sure of himself and very certain there were no such things as monsters.

But she knew better. 

She went home and went to bed, and sure enough, the boogeyman was there, standing in the doorway to her closet.

“Goodnight.” She told him softly.

The boogeyman was real. And, for whatever reason, he was stalking her.

And it didn’t matter where she went. She would spend the night with her grandparents and the boogeyman would follow, standing in the corner behind the door.

When she went away to summer camp, he would watch over her as she slept.

When she was thirteen and her parents divorced, he would follow her from house to house.

He became a more permanent fixture in her life than either of her parents.

Friends would come and go but the boogeyman was there to stay.

…

Things were fine, Helen thought. The boogeyman was real and he followed her but he was harmless. Like a benign tumor. Maybe he wasn’t the most pleasant thing in the world but she didn’t mind his presence.

Until she was sixteen.

Steven Richter had driven her home from school.

No one was home and she had invited him inside. One thing had led to another and studying had turned into Steven kissing her on her bed.

He was handsy and his tongue didn’t seem to know what it was doing but it was her first kiss and so she didn’t mind.

And then, in an instant, Steven was ripped off of her and thrown across the room.

He couldn’t see the dark shadow that stood in front of her, hands clenched in anger and fuming.

Steven had run.

She didn’t blame him.

“What are you doing?” She had screamed at the dark figure when they were alone, “We were just kissing!”

She hadn’t expected a reply and she was not met with one but, for the first time, she thought she could hear breathing coming from her boogeyman.

And Helen didn’t bring home a boy again.

…

She hadn’t known what to expect when she had gone away to college. She had asked him, late one night, just days before she was set to fly out to New York.

“Are you going to follow me all the way across the country?”

The boogeyman hadn’t answered. He hadn’t even moved from his spot, standing vigil over her room. 

The first day of orientation was a blur and she didn’t know what to expect. The entire day, it felt as if her heart was still in her chest, waiting and anticipating what would happen when she retired

And when she reached her room that night, she almost sighed in relief to see the boogeyman standing next to her new bed.

She smiled at him but said nothing. Her new roommate didn’t need to know that she saw things no one else did.

Helen climbed into bed and fell asleep knowing that she was safe.

…

His name was James and he was a junior. A pre-med student who read Dumas and Hugo. Yes, he was a bit pretentious, but he was nice enough. He asked her to come back to his apartment to listen to his vinyl collection and she had accepted.

She was an adult now and had only kissed one boy. Barely. It hadn’t taken long for the boogeyman to throw him from her.

But this wasn’t her apartment.

It wasn’t even James’ bedroom. It was a common room and his roommates were out as the vinyl played softly and they spoke of literature.

And Helen felt a hand on her shoulder. Strange, since she could see one of James’ hands in his lap, the other draped over the couch.

But sure enough, there was a weight trailing across her shoulder and gently caressing her neck.

He was there.

The boogeyman was in the room with them.

His hand curled around her throat, not hard enough to hurt her. He wouldn’t hurt her. But it was a warning.

If that boy touches you, I’ll kill him.

And Helen excused herself, feigning a headache and mourning the fact that her body ached to be touched. By someone. Anyone. Even a pretentious med student with atrocious taste in music.

She went home and locked the door, curling up on her bed.

Her roommate wasn’t home and so she spoke, “You can’t just hurt any boy who touches me.” 

And, of course, he doesn’t reply. It pisses her off. How dare he? How dare he interfere with her love life when he doesn’t even bother to speak to her. To communicate with her other than the odd comforting touch every few months or years.

A tear slips from her cheek and she feels a weight pressing against her back, wrapping itself around her. The tear is wiped away and Helen leans back into the boogeyman.

“You can’t just keep me forever.” She whispers and the arms around her tighten.

Helen swallows.

Of course, that’s what he intends.

…

Helen throws herself into her studies. She isn't sure what else to do because relationships are off the table so long as the boogeyman is watching her.

Even friends are kind of hard because the boogeyman is such a big part of her life and she can't even mention him.

In her senior year, her roommate had friends over and Helen found herself dragged into a game of never have I ever.

And, of course, it was came up. She thought about lying but after half a dozen rounds, Helen still had all her fingers up.

"What, are you a virgin?"

And what could she say?

Sorry, I'm in a long term relationship with thr monster under my bed? He's super possessive and has no problem hurting guys I'm interested in?

Its not like she can just explain to others why she doesn't even go on dates.

So she admits to it and puts up with the teasing and, when she goes to bed, tears in her eyes, he is there. She feels the bed dip and he strokes her hair until she falls asleep.

…

She gets a small apartment after college. It has one bedroom and it smells a bit like mildew but its cheap and its hers and she doesn't have to worry about anyone hearing her talk to the monster that follows her around 

He likes the space, she thinks. And she sets a chair up for him next to the bed and idly wonders if she's losing her mind. Is this encouraging him?

But she leaves it and when she wakes up at 2am, thr boogeyman is sitting and watching her.

In the morning, her coffee is prepared in a to go mug that she most certainly hadn't set out.

And just like that, something has changed. The boogeyman is her… friend.

…

Seasons change but the boogeyman doesn't. He still looks the same as he always has. Like a dark shadow that comes and goes corporeally. Sometimes there's a face and sometimes there's a shadowy blur. She decides that she likes his face.

It has high cheekbones and a dark beard. Its lips look soft and, sometimes, she its eyes look kind.

Deprived of touch and attention, she closes her eyes and imagines that face while she showers.

Its… nice but lacking.

At work, a nice man asks her to dinner and she declines, only to go home and have dinner on thr couch with the boogeyman next to her.

Helen tries not to think how much power she has given to her personal monster.

…

She turns twenty-six and something in her breaks. Twenty-six years old and she remains a virgin. Twenty-six and she has only had one sloppy kiss.

And it strikes her that it has been ten years since anyone has kissed her.

And it isn't fair.

She doesn't go home after work. She goes to a bar and drinks until the pain in her heart has dulled.

When a stranger propositions her, she doesn't have the mental capacity to remember what her monster is capable of and she takes him home.

The door to her apartment closes and he pushes her into it and presses his thin lips to hers.

She opens her mouth to deepen the kiss but he is ripped away. Helen opens her eyes in time to see red flash in her monsters eyes as the stranger slides across the floor and into the wall.

"Are you serious?" She screams at the monster. 

The stranger staggers to his feet, looking where she does but seeing nothing.

"You're fucking crazy bitch!"

And she shouldn't have said that because her monster flashes with anger yet again and charges at the stranger. He is lifted off the ground by the throat and held up to the wall.

The stranger grips at his throat but he cannot seem to breach thr touch of her monster.

"Put him down!" She shouts at him. "Fuck! Just let him go!"

The boogeyman looks back at her, making eye contact before releasing the stranger to crumple on her floor.

"Run." She tells him and he wastes no time, staggering to thr door and slamming it behind him. 

When the door has closed she looks back at the boogeyman. "Fuck you! I don't belong to you!"

And, of course, he says nothing. Which only adds to her anger.

"Im twenty-six years old and I am tired of never having been really kissed or fucked by anything other than my own hand! So if I go out to get fucked, that is my goddamned right!"

She doesn't seem him move so much as she sees a blur of darkness and she feels her back hit the wall.

A hand is around her throat but this is not like what she has just seen. He is not hurting her, just pinning her in place.

The darkness seems to fade and she sees the outline of his face. Sharp and dark and angry.

"No one touches what's mine." He growls and the voice is deep and gravelly and it makes every hair stand on end.

Her mouth opens in shock and a tongue forces its way in. It is strong  and thick and she nearly chokes as he claims her mouth 

Large hands grope at her flesh, grabbing at her hips, her waist. There is no mercy in his grip or in his touch.

She is lifted against the wall, opposite from where the stranger had hung minutes before. Helen gasps and the boogeyman steps into her space. Her arms wrap around him, as if she’s afraid he’ll drop her.

His dark lips form a smile and his head tilts to the side in curious wonder.

“You want to be fucked, Helen?”

Her breath stutters and a hand pushes her skirt up her thigh.

She looks between them and, sure enough, her monster looks more human than usual.  He is still half-shadow, but his anatomy resembles a human even if his skin feels… different. Thicker and a little leathery but soft.

Her skirt is around her hips and he rips the underwear off her body. Her arms tighten around him involuntarily at the shock.

There’s a sound from her monster, almost like a laugh, and his mouth descends on her neck. His teeth are sharp and they graze her skin so rough that she wonders if she’ll bleed.

But it doesn’t feel bad.

She looks at him and his eyes flash from black to red and back again. His hand moves and she looks down between them. A long, thick cock hangs between his thighs and… fuck, are they supposed to be that big?

But thoughts disappear from her head as his palm rests on her clit and his thick fingers tease her opening.

Helen gasps at the contact and John seizes the opportunity to push a finger fully inside her.

She cries out. It’s only a finger but it feels so good. It curls inside her and she leans into the wall, arching her back, as if she can get more of him into her.

“More!” She begs and tries to bounce on his finger.

The bogeyman growls and another finger breaches her core, stretching her. Helen keens at the contact. It’s a tight fit with both his thick fingers but she grinds down onto him while his thumb runs circles around her clit.

And fuck, she feels herself growing wetter, she feels herself getting hotter, and Jesus Christ. Has this been an option all this time? To have the boogeyman rocking up against her, inside her? 

Why the fuck hadn’t he?

Bastard.

Her arms rescind from around him and she grabs his face, bringing it to hers and she kisses him again. Fuck.

Why does a monster taste so damn good?

How is the boogeyman the best kisser she has ever had?

Probably because he wouldn’t let anyone else touch her.

But fuck…

Maybe she didn’t want anyone else to touch her if her monster kept rubbing her clit like that.

She licks his mouth, sucks on that thick tongue. She wonders what it would feel like between her thighs. Later.

If her monster had proven anything, it was that he wasn’t going anywhere.

She reaches down between them and wraps her hand around his cock, without looking away from his face. His eyes flash red again as she touches the appendage and she licks her lips. Her hand runs his length and back down.

He is hot in her hand and it almost seems to pulse.

The boogeyman bares his teeth at her and, fuck, that’s hot.

Helen feels her toes curl and, god, he speeds up his fingers. They thrust inside her quickly, making her moan. Her hand tightens around his length and her monster makes a sound like a purr.

She wants him.

Helen angles his cock up and the boogeyman moves his fingers, watching her carefully.

She slides the tip up her slit, coating him in the juices, before positioning him at her entrance.

Her monster leans forward and fuck. Fuck. 

His thick cock slowly slides into her, inch by inch. And it hurts and it’s glorious and she has never felt so full in all her life. A sound escapes her throat and she’s not even sure what it is but she knows that the boogeyman feels incredible.

Helen’s arms slip back around him as he gently thrusts into her. 

“Fuck!” She moans and the boogeyman quickens his pace, growling again as he pushes himself deep inside of his woman. His. She has been his for years, even if she hasn’t admitted it.

He chose her.

He stayed with her.

No one got to touch her.

No one but him.

The boogeyman keeps his hips moving, fucking his sweet girl. Listening to the moans and the keens that stem from those sweet, plump lips.

Helen squeezes around him and he pushes her harder into the wall. Her soft, little body is rocked between it and him. 

Helen swears again, pressing her head into the crook of his neck as he continues to abuse her little body. 

He thrusts so hard she wonders if she might break, still she begs him for more.

"Harder! Fuck!"

The sounds her monster makes are not human but she can't bring herself to care as he fucks her harder and faster and pleasure builds within her until she can barely breathe.

Helen screams as her orgasm rushes her, hitting her like a freight train. And still, the boogeyman keeps going. Still pumping inside her.

He grabs her hair, suddenly, and yanks her head to the side exposing her neck.

She whimpers in pleasure before it turns to a scream as he bites into her neck.

The world fades after that.

…

He doesn't sleep but, after that night, he spends every night in her bed. She sleeps curled up to him and he holds her through the night. 

Her life slips into an easy routine. She wakes up and her monster makes her coffee. Then she goes to work and counts down the hours until she can go home. 

She eats dinner and then spends her nights alternating between Snuggling with the boogeyman on the couch and letting him fuck her into the mattress until she passes out.

When strangers ask her out, she tells them she is sorry, but she's taken.

It slips out one day, when she's being pressured at work but a man who doesn't believe her when she says she had a boyfriend.

"Well what's his name?"

"John."

Its the first thing she thinks and, when she tells him about it, he doesn't seem to mind. He especially doesn't mind when she cries out his new name while writhing under him.

People come and go.

But her boogeyman is there to stay.

He is no longer the monster under her bed; but in it.

[vintagedolan]

forgetful (egd)

it’s not like Ethan to forget things, so there’s no way he forgot your birthday... right?

word count: 4.2k

requested by: anon (thank you beeb!) 

warnings/tags: sad!ethan, forgetting of a birthday, panic attack, mentions of sean, angst (but it’s resolved cause im a weak fluffy bitch oops)

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy :)

This was one elaborate plan, you’d give him that. And he was hiding everything so well that you were ridiculously impressed. You went along with it, not wanting him to think that you were suspicious of anything.

“You all packed?” You asked, pouting a bit as he zipped up his bag and stood it up on its wheels. 

“Yep. It’s just for a few days, I’ll be back on Thursday. Need some family time with Mom,” he reassured you. 

Thursday. Your birthday. 

You never really made a big deal out of birthdays but after you had gotten Ethan two new custom longboards for his, he had promised you an epic celebration for your big day. And he hadn’t let you in on the secret at all. It took all your self control not to pry and ask questions as you followed him out to the car where Grayson was waiting. Was he even going to Jersey? Or was this all some big ploy? You wouldn’t put it past him. Either way, you knew you weren’t going to see him for a few days, which pulled at your heart strings a bit.

“Okay, well fly safe, and let me know when you all get there,” you wrapped your arms around his torso, squeezing tight. He nuzzled into your hair for a moment, squeezing you even tighter than he usually did. Between the way he was talking and that, you could tell something was definitely going on. 

“I will. I love you,” he said, leaning down to kiss you goodbye. It was quicker than usual. It only convinced you more.

“Love you too,” you smiled at him, letting go and moving to hug Grayson goodbye. You waved until they were out of sight before going inside, with a million thoughts of what he could be up to running through your head. 

He text you a quick made it safe about 6 hours later, right on time for a landing in New Jersey. You sent back some hearts and a response. 

Have fun hanging with your mom, I know you’ve missed her. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you! It was a subtle way of trying to assure him that he didn’t need to be talking to you when he should be visiting with his family. 

He sent back a I will baby, I love you too and you left it at that. 

The next day went by fairly slow for a Monday. You piddled around the house, getting some work done and generally just relaxing. Ethan FaceTimed you around noon, and was acting even weirder than before. Something was definitely up, and you couldn’t help but get a little bit excited. He must be planning something big if he was this nervous about it. 

Tuesday was even weirder. He sent you a good morning text, but you didn’t hear from him again until that evening, and when he called you could tell that he was exhausted and wasn’t much in the mood for talking. It puzzled you some, but worried you more than anything. 

“Are you okay baby? You seem a bit off,” you asked.

“Yeah, I’m just tired. I need to go to bed. I love you.”

“I love you too, get some rest.” 

By Wednesday, you were actually starting to get concerned. You considered texting Grayson - if Ethan was actually upset about something, his brother would probably tell you. But you felt bad at the idea of going behind Ethan’s back so you waited. 

It was 9pm your time, which was midnight back in Jersey, when he finally facetimed you. He was in a bit higher spirits, which made you smile. His day was much more interesting than yours had been, so you listened to him talk about anything and everything, just content to hear his voice. When he finally got through all the events, he asked all about yours. There wasn’t much to tell, but you walked him through.

“I’m sure tomorrow will be more eventful,” you teased, rolling your eyes a bit.

“Yeah, about that. Cam is coming to surprise mom tomorrow, and Gray and I are gonna stay an extra day so we can see her. It’s been ages since we’ve all been home,” he explained. You balked. Was he kidding? You watched him closely, trying to see if he was joking or not. You noticed that he was fidgeting a little bit, one of his nervous habits. Something else was up. 

It clicked for you then - he was probably setting up the surprise, wanting you to think that he wasn’t even going to be in the state. Sneaky.

“Okay, that’s fine,” you responded, secretly looking around the screen to see if you could spot a camera. He would be filming this for sure if there was a video, and you didn’t want to ruin it.

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor tomorrow though. Louis Vuitton is getting a shipment of new stuff in for me and Gray, and we’re supposed to pick specific stuff by Saturday, do you think you could go get it and bring it home so we have more time to decide once we get back?” 

There it was. 

The weird get-you-to-a-certain-place excuse that was customary with any Ethan surprise. You breathed out a sigh - for a second there you really thought that he had forgotten. This was one of his less creative ideas, but you rolled with it anyways. 

“Yeah, I can get it. What time am I supposed to go?”

“Whenever is fine! Thank you baby,” he offered you a soft smile.

Weird. Usually he would be specific on a time. Oh well. He definitely just needed you out of the house so he could set up whatever it was. 

“You’re welcome. Isn’t it like 1am there now? You should be asleep,” you reminded him.

“Yeah, we’ve gotta get Cam pretty early in the morning so you’re probably right. Well, I love you, I’ll check on you tomorrow. Goodnight!”

“I love you too, goodnight baby.”

It was hard to sleep that night. Your mind was racing with a million different things, trying to think of what he would be planning. He was probably on a plane already. You woke up throughout the night, convinced you were hearing him sneaking in. But eventually you fell asleep with no dreams.

And when you woke up the next morning around 9am the house was empty and quiet. You didn’t feel any older, and to be honest it didn’t feel much different from your past few birthdays - you usually spent them alone. You walked around the house cautiously, peeking around corners to see if someone was there to jump out and surprise you. No one showed, so you simply went to the kitchen and made yourself a quick breakfast. 

Once that was done, you went back to Ethan’s bathroom and started getting ready. It had been awhile since you’d done a full face of makeup, and you put on one of your favorite outfits as well just to make you feel nice.

As you were putting your shoes on, you felt your phone buzz. 

Morning baby! what’re you up to? was the text from Ethan that came across your screen. 

morning! I’m headed to louis to get your alls clothes

You felt the butterflies starting to mount as you headed out to the car. Who knew what was gonna be there when you got back. Deciding to make the most of it, you stopped by your favorite coffee shop and got a drink on your way to the store. The workers were nice as always, even helping you to get all the garment bags into your car before waving as you drove off. 

The excitement mounted with each minute that passed on the way home. You were practically bouncing by the time you got to the driveway, opening the gate and pulling in. Nothing looked different - of course, he would have hidden the cars somewhere. 

You gathered all the garment bags, holding them high above you so they didn’t drag the ground, hoping you wouldn’t drop them if someone jumped out. 

Opening the door slowly, you braced yourself.

And nothing. 

Nothing happened. 

You kept walking, placing the bags down over the couch. 

“Hello?” You said, listening to the echo. There was no response. And then it hit you like a ton of bricks. 

No one was here. 

No one was coming.

You’d been forgotten. 

The tears came quickly, hot and angry down your cheeks. It took a moment for you to realize that you were actually embarrassed. You’d made up a whole scenario in your head that your boyfriend was planning some major surprise for you, when in reality he was actually across the country with no idea what day it even was. It stung much more than you thought it would. 

And so, you sat on the floor and cried, leaving tear stains on your outfit and throwing a full on pity party. You felt stupid, and childish, and unloved all at the same time. A tiny sliver of hope remained, but when you got a snapchat from Grayson of them in the car with Cam, it faded too. 

After about an hour you managed to get yourself up off the floor, going through the motions. You hung the boys clothes up in their closets, cleaned up your makeup; it was still your birthday. You were going to try to have a good day if you could. So you went back out to the grocery and bought yourself a cake. A whole ass cake in your favorite flavor, and you had the bakers write “happy birthday to me” on top of it in white icing. 

As you drove back to the house, your sadness started to turn into anger. You didn’t deserve this shit. You deserved to be celebrated on the one fucking day of the year that was about you. And you were happy that Ethan was getting to see his sister - you really were. If he had told you about it and been apologetic that he couldn’t be there for your birthday, you would have understood. But it was so very obvious that he’d completely forgotten, and that was what bothered you the most out of anything. 

When your phone rang with a facetime from him, you knew better than to answer it. You would say something that you really, really regretted. You let it ring through as you pulled in the driveway, carrying your cake inside and sitting it on the counter. Your phone rang again, and you ignored it. 

He seemed to give up, and sent you a text instead.

Hey baby, we ended up needing to get a flight tonight so I should be home around 11 or so your time. didn’t want you to get scared if you heard me. can’t wait to see you, I missed you!

You closed your phone. You didn’t trust yourself to not be an asshole. You knew that as soon as Ethan realized what was going on he was going to feel absolutely terrible. So you didn’t want to be a complete asshole. But... that didn’t mean you couldn’t be a little bit petty. 

So you decided to stay up until he got home. And by stay up, that meant waiting in the kitchen for him with your cake on the counter so he could realize exactly what had happened. Petty. But justified. 

The wait was long, but worth it when you finally heard them coming down the driveway. You started eating the cake, making sure to just get the corners because you wanted the words to stay visible.

The door clicked open and shut, and you heard the rustling of the boys coming in.

“Tell Y/N I said hey if she’s up, I’m going the fuck to sleep,” you heard Grayson explain, not even coming into the kitchen.

Good. You didn’t want him in the middle of all this anyways. 

Ethan almost passed you on his way to his room, but you caught his eye. His entire face lit up when he saw you, and you felt your resolve to be petty crack a little. He was so damn cute, it was hard to stay mad at him. 

“Baby you didn’t need to stay up! I figured you’d gone to sleep early since you didn’t answer earlier,” he grinned, coming over to you. 

“I’m awake.” Your tone stopped him in his tracks - he was on his way to kiss you, no doubt. You were even surprised at how mad you sounded. It wasn’t like you to pick a fight. 

“I can see that. Are you okay?” He was more cautious now, looking around to see if he could figure out what was happening. You gave him a minute before you took another bite of cake to give him a clue.

He looked down at the icing, and you watched him mouth the words as he read it. 

“Did you buy a clearance cake or something? What’s going on? I’m confused.”

“I can wait until you figure it out.” 

You watched the gears turn in his head. When he looked up from the pastry, his eyes were wide. 

“What’s today’s date?” He asked, his voice meek.

“I’ll give you one guess,” you murmured, taking another bite.

“Oh no. Oh no no no no,” he said, hands coming up to his hair. He held his head for a moment, and you noticed that his chest was rising and falling too fast. He stumbled a bit, reaching back to catch himself on the counter. His hand slipped slightly - was he sweating?

You pieced it together immediately. 

Panic attack.

Any anger, any pettiness you had flew out the window. You dropped your fork, running over to him and grabbing his hand. 

“C’mon, come with me Ethan it’s okay,” you said, guiding him as quickly as you could to the room you shared. They always resolved quicker if he was in his most comforting place, so when you got him in the room you immediately guided him to sit on the bed. 

You knelt in front of him, holding his hands in yours. 

“Breathe in while I squeeze, out when I let go, okay? Just like we always do, and it’ll stop. I’m right here,” you reassured him, squeezing his hands. To your relief he was able to take a deep breath in with you, but he exhaled immediately, panic still overriding. 

“You’re. You’re gonna - leave.” He was gasping through the words.

“Ethan I’m right here. I’m right here, I’m not leaving, no matter what. Just breathe baby, just breathe.” 

It took almost 15 minutes to get him fully calmed down, and you only knew it was over when he opened up his arms for you. You climbed onto his lap, no hesitation, wrapping your arms around him. 

It didn’t matter how angry you were - nothing was worse than seeing the man you loved in pain. You couldn’t stand it. 

“I am actually the biggest piece of shit to walk the face of the earth,” he mumbled into your shoulder a few moments later. You shook your head, pressing a kiss to his hair. 

“No you aren’t, I’m -”

“If you apologize, I swear to god,” he cut you off and you fell silent as he sat up and looked at you. “Please, please do not try to make me feel better right now.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” You asked honestly. You felt guilty that your pettiness had caused him to panic so quickly. 

“Yell at me, scream at me, be fucking pissed off that I literally forgot the most important day of the fucking year,” he said, exasperated. 

“I’m not gonna do that.” You couldn’t do that was the correct answer. “Besides, I already had my fun. With the cake.” 

Ethan looked like he was going to explode.

“So I forget that today is your birthday. Not only do I not have a whole party and surprise for you, but I don’t even say happy birthday. And you spend the entire day alone, while I’m just fucking around on the other side of the country.”

“You were with your family, that’s not fucking around.” 

“While I’m just fucking around on the other side of the United States-” he repeated. “And your revenge on me was to buy yourself a cake...”

“And be petty about it,” you shrugged. He looked at you in disbelief. And honestly, you were surprised at yourself too. You’d been so hurt and mad earlier, but all that anger had left you somehow. Something about being with Ethan put you at peace, even in the most unsettling of situations.

“That wasn’t even being petty! What do you even mean!? How are you not screaming at me right now!?” He practically yelled. 

“I mean yeah, I was sad, but I pretty much hurt my own feelings.”

His face was actually red with frustration.

“Please explain what ridiculous way you’ve convinced yourself of that.”

You hesitated.

“It’s gonna make you sad.” 

He didn’t say anything, and you sighed, knowing he was gonna make you tell him. You looked down, toying with the hem of his shirt as you explained.

“Well, I thought it was kinda weird that you were going home so close to my birthday, so I kinda convinced myself that maybe you were surprising me or something. Like pretending to be gone, but actually you were gonna be here. And you seemed off while you were home, so I thought maybe you were just planning stuff, or maybe you were nervous about pulling it off. And I thought you asked me to go to Louis to get the clothes so you had time to set stuff up. But then when I got back I realized you were still in Jersey. So really it was only bad because I thought something was happening.”

“I am a piece of shit,” he repeated after a moment. 

“What was going on in Jersey that had you acting so weird?” You poised, trying to change the subject. He was going to continue beating himself up over forgetting, and there wasn’t much you could do to stop him, but you were genuinely curious as to what had been going on. You knew him well enough that you were sure that it was something - you’d just assumed wrong when guessing it was about you. 

His arms tightened around you slightly, pulling you to his chest while his cheek rested on your shoulder. Sometimes, he found it easier to talk about things when he wasn’t looking right at you. 

“It was Mom and Dad’s anniversary last week. It’s always really hard for her, and Grayson and I wanted to go see her to make sure she was alright, but we couldn’t get out there on the actual day. But we went to his grave on Tuesday, and I realized I hadn’t been back out there since the funeral. It stirred up a lot of emotions for everybody, but it was really nice being home with my family, even just for a little while. We facetimed with Cam while we were there, and she got upset too and wanted to see everybody so we got her a flight to come up for the day.”

You took a minute to process everything, and then you leaned back so that you could look at Ethan.

“Baby why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known all that I would have told you to stay longer.”

“I just... I didn’t want it to be a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.” 

“Yes it should. Your family is the most important thing to you, it always has been and it always will be. That comes before anything,” you reassured him. “If your mom was having a hard time, you did the right thing by going to see her when you could.”

“My dad always handled everything so well. Always had a million things going on at once and never dropped anything. And I can’t even remember two fucking things.” His voice was getting rougher, and you could tell his throat was tight. You put a hand behind his neck, running your fingers through the hairs at the nape of it.

“I just wish I could be more like him. I always fuck everything up.” 

“You don’t Ethan. You’re more like your dad than you’ll ever know, he raised you to be an amazing man. I see parts of him in you everyday.” 

And for some reason those words broke him down, and he began to sob. You hadn’t seen him cry like that in a while, but when you had, no words could comfort him. So you just held him tightly and let him cry his way through it, running your fingers along his back gently and occasionally pressing a kiss to his temple. 

When he had finally cried himself out he just melted into your shoulder and let you hold him for a while. It was a few more minutes before he spoke.

“This must be a wonderful birthday for you. Your asshole boyfriend forgets about it, then comes home and spends the last hour of it in a panic attack and then bawling like a baby over his dead dad. I sure do know how to bring the party huh.” 

You leaned back to meet his eyes, and he had been so monotone through the whole thing that you couldn’t help but laugh. Your giggle caused him to start to crack, and before you knew it you were both cackling so hard you were crying.

“We’re quite the duo,” you teased, taking his face in your hands and wiping his tears away.

“I really am so sorry baby. I feel terrible.” 

“It’s alright Ethan. You had a reason, and to be honest it was kinda fun being petty for a minute. I don’t get to do it often,” you said. He was already forgiven. To your surprise, instead of arguing, he took your wrist in his hand, turning it to look at the time on your watch. 

11:58

“It’s still your birthday. Can I give you your present?”

“You got me a present?” You perked up.

“Of course I did, I’m not that shitty.”

“Gimme,” you smiled, holding out your hands. He smiled at that, putting his hands on your hips and lifting you off his lap. You watched him as he went to his closet, reaching behind one of his shoe boxes to pull out a small blue wrapped box, followed by an envelope. You made a grabby hand at it, making him chuckle as he handed them over.

“Which one should I open first?” 

“You’re the birthday girl, you decide,” he grinned.

You opted for the envelope, pulling it open and looking inside. There were a few pieces of paper, but you chose the one with Ethan’s handwriting on it first. In his messy scrawl you read:

plus a shopping spree for anything you want to take with us :) 

“Take with us? Where are we going?!” You exclaimed.

“Open the rest of it,” he urged. 

You reached in and found two plane tickets to Maui. 

“Holy shit! We’re going to Hawaii!?” 

“We leave in two weeks. I figured it was about time we went there by ourselves. I got us a nice little villa to stay at, and we’re gonna go clothes shopping for whatever you want. Though, I do request you pick out many, many bikinis.”

You smacked his chest before you kissed him.

“This is too much. Way too much.”

“Not possible. Here, open this one. It’s not as exciting, but I think you’ll still like it.” He passed you the box and ripped off the paper. What else could he have possibly gotten you?

When you pulled open the box, you gasped. It was a beautiful ring, with a raw black crystal on it that had a tiny blue stone nestled in it. It was obviously hand crafted, and it was just your style.

“Ethan this is beautiful,” you said, picking it up and admiring it. “What kind of crystal is this?”

“It’s black tourmaline, and the little stone is zircon, which is my birthstone. Black tourmaline is for protection, so it’s my promise to you that I’m always going to keep you safe.” He took the ring from your hand and slid it onto your finger. 

“I love you,” was the only response you could form as you crawled forward and settled yourself back in his lap. You kissed him hard, trying to say what you wanted without the words. No one had ever gotten you a gift so meaningful. He kissed you back, responding to each move you made, reciprocating as you lead, hands wandering. 

He took you by surprise when he stood up, hands moving to your ass as he lifted you and carried you towards the door.

“Where are we going?” In all honesty, you didn’t care. 

“I’m declaring it birthday week, and we’re celebrating every day. So we’re starting day two with cake.”

“I have sad news.”

His feet stopped and he looked at you, quirking an eyebrow.

“It’s not dairy free.”

He gasped a bit in mock hurt, but it turned into a smile that you kissed off his lips a moment later.

“Well then, I’ll just watch you eat cake and think of all the ways I’m going to spoil you until your next birthday to make up for this one.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” 

[dazed--xx]

Alone

REQUEST: *Hi see you mentioned about story requests. I'm having a hard time since I'm currently pregnant and my partner walked out on me, so could you do one when Jungkook where I meet Jungkook and he helps me raise the baby please*

Summary:  “I'm pregnant Jungkook.” the line goes dead silent “look before you say anything, no I wasn’t hiding this from you and I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me shit I wouldn’t want to talk to me and move on to someone who is not pregnant and going to be having this type of responsibilities-” “Y/N-”

GENRE: Mild-Angst, Fluff

Member: Jungkook x Pregnant!reader

Word count: 2,132 

A/N: so this is literally my first fanfic ever and i hope you guys like it. and to the person that requested this I wanted to tag you because i did post it but i didnt want to kind of call you out online especially since this was based on something you have personally happening to you, trust me pregnancy is scary let alone having to go it alone so if you need someone to talk to im here btw.. but hopefully you guys like this it was pretty good i wanna post a couple of requests a day since i banged this out as quickly as i did im taking more requests just inbox me or go to my ask let me know if you want your name attached to the request and i will send everyone that i know requested a specific story i will tag and send it to you so you know it is done but without further ado ALONE

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“Where are you going? Do you really expect me to do this alone?” I shouted to the already abandoned house. A swell in my throat rises and I can't breathe. My body shakes as the tears take over. I fall to my knees running my hand over my stomach. “Don’t you worry baby; Daddy will be back he loves you I promise” I say to the life growing within my womb. 

The warmth from the comforter consumes me as I awaken with dried tears in my eyes. My heart aches as I remember the events from the past 12 hours. The thick silence takes hold of my heart and it begins racing. My heart beat sounding as if it is being played on a speaker the size of a skyscraper. Feeling the bile rise in my throat, rushing to the bathroom, I empty out the contents of my stomach. Tears escape my eyes as I reach out to the void. I'm alone truly.  

My first OBGYN appointment rolls around and my heart is in my stomach. The nurse escorts me in, slowly my feet turn into lead as I drag myself onto the cot in the room and lay back facing the monitor. Once I feel that cool gel upon my stomach, my heart settles and the most beautiful BUMP BUMP BUMP is heard throughout the room. My eyes focus on the image in front of me. “well congrats sweetie you're about 10 weeks, Due September 27. Remember no stress and make sure to take your prenatal. We’ll see you next week” My ultrasound technician announces excitedly. I smile anxious as to what I should do next.  

I make my way to a small café after my appointment wanting a small tea to calm my nerves. Looking around the coffee shop I notice quite the crowd and my panic begins to set in. It feels like I can't breathe while the crowds begin to grow as the café reaches the brink of rush. More and More people pour through the door as my anxiety takes over and I feel the bile rising again, I abandon my spot in line trying to make it to the restroom before I release the contents of my stomach all over the café floor. The restroom door becomes the only thing in sight to me as I dash for it. I reach for the handle and the door opens and I slam into a hard chest and soon I am on the floor.

“HOLY CRAP!!! IM SO SORRY I WAS NOT PAYING ATTENTION” A angelic voice apologized above me. My eyes drift from the floor up to see the most amazing man I've ever seen in my life with his hand out and my voice gets caught in my throat. I stare at him for a while capturing every detail of his face and take his hand. I nod quickly and mutter a fast “Sorry” and dash around the beautiful man and lose myself behind the safety of the door. I was dreading walking back out into the craziness of the café, but excited to see if I could once again get a glimpse of the gorgeous man from before.  

Soon I am back in line and order my tea, when a familiar voice sounds from next to me “You know.... you should let me pay you back for your drink you know...since I hurt you” Shocked I turn my head to see the same beautiful man from before. “Oh, please don’t worry about it I really wasn’t paying attention either it's not a big deal” I smile shyly. “Besides I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than to buy a stranger a drink” He laughs “Honestly, Beautiful, I don’t really have anything to do with my time that doesn’t involve getting to know you” Heat creeps up to my face and I lower my gaze and smile. “I don’t need you to pay me back for my tea for you to be able to get to know me, but unfortunately I gotta go” I say slowly moving past him. “At least let me get your number...please” He asked “You don’t even know my name and you want my number?” “Hey I know what I want and I feel like me knowing your name won't matter much cause I probably won't be calling you anything other than mine” I let out a small giggle “ that was super corny but since you're trying so hard give me your phone” I put my number in his phone and hand it back to him and walk toward the door “By the way my name is Y/N” as I make my exit I hear him shout back “Jungkook!”  

As the weeks pass, I find myself talking more and more to Jungkook. He still hasn’t stopped flirted with me as much as he did that day in the café but we talk everyday about almost everything and I can't help but feel scared to tell him I am having a baby. What would he say? Will he not want to talk to me anymore? Would he not like me as much? A loud RING pulls me out of my thoughts as my phone lights up with Jungkook's name and photo comes up on my screen.  

“Hey, what's up cutie?” He says excitedly  

“Not much, just lying in bed not feeling too good today” I respond pouty  

“Aw, do you need anything? Medicine? I can bring you soup it'll make you feel better I know you said you went out with your friend last night are you hungover?” The worry evident in his voice.

“Um honestly no um I can't drink so I'm definitely not hungover just different I know what it is though I'll be fine” the nervousness in my voice is evident

“what's wrong then beautiful? Is everything okay?” Oh no... not that question. He’s worried and I know he is but I don’t know what to say. I can't stop it the words just rush out of my mouth like the bile I throw up every morning  

“I'm pregnant Jungkook....I'm 14 weeks pregnant” the line goes dead silent “look before you say anything, no I wasn’t hiding this from you and I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me shit I wouldn’t want to talk to me and move on to someone who is not pregnant and going to be having this type of responsibilities-” “Y/N-” No listen Kookie cause I really like you and I didn’t mean to keep this from you I was just scared that you would hate me” “Y/N-” “I mean I know you just met me a couple weeks ago and it wouldn’t mean much for you to just walk away from this because let's be honest who wants to deal with that-” “Y/N! JUST STOP AND LISTEN PLEASE!” The words stop flowing as quickly as they began.

“Do you think id stop liking you because of the simple fact that you're pregnant, I mean yeah it does suck that you're going to have someone else's baby but I don’t care about that... WAIT! Is that why your ex left?” I stay silent

“Baby....are you there?” He asks worried.

“Baby girl???”  

“Beautiful are you okay? Hello?”

I sniffle “Yeah I’m here sorry” my voice cracks at every word.

“Baby are you crying? Do you need me to get you anything?”  

“No, I'm fine I promise I'm going to go to bed okay? Goodnight handsome I'll talk to you in the morning” “wait what no I'm com-” I cut him off to end the already overwhelming call. My vision blurs as the tears cascade down my face and I let out a harsh sob. I was scared for nothing or he's just too optimistic. A loud knock on the door grabs my attention.  

“who is it?” fear leaking out in my tone. “Baby it's me open up” I hear Jungkook's melodic voice through the door. Quickly I swing the door open to be greeted with the man I've grown so accustomed to in the past few weeks. Taking in the sight of him my heart begins to race as the tears began to no longer form. He reaches his arms around me and pulls me against him. “Baby girl, why didn’t you tell me sooner? You really thought that would make me just leave. How could I do that when in the past few weeks, you’ve stolen my heart” He looks at me and there's a hunger in his eyes as they shift down to my lips. “aww fuck it” he exclaims as his lips capture mine. His arms wrap around my waits as my hands get lost in his soft midnight hair. After a while he pulls away and a small whimper is released from my mouth. “Do you know HOW long I've wanted to do that” he exclaims excitedly with a smile plastered across his face.

After that night Jungkook never left my side, everything I craved he got, Anytime I felt nauseous Jungkook was there.  It became routine with him his calls became more frequent on days he knew I had appointments and he went to every ultrasound. His excitement for my baby was shown one day when I came home from work and my whole apartment was filled top to bottom with diapers bottles and wipes. Jungkook was still too nervous to buy much because he felt he was taking part of the experience from me and the fact that we still don’t know what the baby is yet. As the date rolls around to the appointment it's all Jungkook can talk about. He wants a girl every five seconds he reminds me it's always “Baby do you think the princess will like me? I mean I want her to know I care and that I love you” which is why he was so heartbroken when he could not make it to the gender reveal appointment because of a last-minute practice session. “Please promise to call me right after you find out okay baby?” He begs sadly before he left for the morning.  

After the appointment my heart swelled with joy as I turned into my driveway to see Jungkook's car sitting there. As soon as I unlocked the door, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and feel kisses peppered up my neck “Hey, Baby how did your appointment go? How are you feeling?” he says in-between kisses. A blush creeps up onto my face “Yeah, it went great baby is a growing good and healthy, so I have to tell you something” I state biting my bottom lip and looking toward the ground.

“Oh god what's wrong? Is our princess okay?” his use of the word our makes my heart skip a beat “OUR? And the baby is fine....” I look at him pointedly and his hand runs through his hair as his face turns beet red as he slowly stutters out “I mean....um... I'm sorry I didn’t mean to just assume that you wanted me involved but it's so hard not to be when I'm so in love with you that I don’t care if I wasn’t the one that got you pregnant that’s my baby and you’re my girl so yeah our.... so, what is you have to tell me?” I kiss him softly at his words. I beam at him “You're literally so amazing I can't believe you would even consider any of this I know it's a lot to ask for someone to be involved with someone who is pregnant and all I appreciate it baby BUT unfortunately it's not a princess we got blessed with, handsome” as I put his hand on my stomach and his face twists into confusion “what do you-WAIT! IT’S A BOY? FORREAL? IT’S A BOY?” the smile cannot be contained on his face as he comes to the realization.

"Yes, it’s a boy” I state as Jungkook lifts and twirls me around I laugh.

Jungkook happily exclaims “Oh my god, I'm gonna have a son.” Jungkook drops to his knees and places his hand on my stomach and softly speaks “Hey handsome, its daddy, no I'm not your real daddy baby but I'm going to love you and your mommy like I am. I can't imagine a world without you I can't wait to meet you”

I stand there smiling knowing.......Jungkook won’t ever leave me alone  

[hobbitsnapes]

The Red Hoods Protègè chapter 4

Older Damian Wayne x ofc

(Photo made by my lovely friend @bakketsux)

Summary:Red hood has taken a young vigilante under his wing and subsequently changes Damians life forever. (I suck at summary’s)

A/N: I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the story, but with what is happening with our world/country I want to put this out for you all. Times are tough and our world is in need of more love. I want everyone to feel and give out as much love as they can to even those who don’t love you. Please if are able to text ‘FLOYD’ to 55156.

As Jason and angel get to their apartment and climb the many steps, they have a comfortable silence over the both of them. Jason goes and unlocks the front door with his key and they both walk in and take their masks off. Angel taking off the hood that is secure to her head along with her domino mask that Jason gave to her.

The smell of food from what they assume to be from Roy filling the small apartment. They both walk into the kitchen to see a pizza box on the counter with a note attached. ‘Since you guys will be in late.’ Both grab a piece and start eating in the empty room with nothing but the moon coming from the widows to light the room.

“Hey after I’m done I’m gonna hop in the shower okay.” “Okay little one.” “You know I’m not that much younger than you.” She says with a laugh. “But are you still younger than me?” “Yes..” “then you’re my little one, little one.”

He starts to chuckle as she goes to her room to change out of her suit. As she peels off her suit starting with the secret notches in her suit, then to the hidden zipper in the front, a sigh escapes her when she gets the material off of her skin and can feel the cold breeze on her hot skin. As the suit comes off her back, a shiver runs up her spine when the cold hits her scars. She doesn’t pay attention to it as she removes her bra and panties and puts on her robe. She takes her suit and puts it on the dresser to wash later.

She steps out of the room to see the kitchen and living room to be empty, a light coming from under Jason’s door.

She walks to the bathroom and switches the light on, engulfing the room with light. She takes a look at herself in the mirror first checking for anything on her face, she sees that when she looks at her hair, blonde is coming in the roots. “Hey jay!” She yells. “Yeah?” “Tomorrow can I go to the shop and get some hair dye?” Jason steps out of his room with his sleeping clothes on. “That’s if you get me some as well, I’ve needed to dye mine for weeks now.” “Okay I’ll just get the same one then.” “Okay, goodnight little one.” “Night jay jay.”

She shuts the door and turns the water on and sets it to a warm temperature. She strips from her robe and sets it on the counter.

She steps into the shower and lets the water engulf her and sighs at the comfort it brings. She grabs her sponge and lathers in in soap as she gingerly rubs her body down from the sweat that collected on her body. Taking extra care on any healing wounds from previous nights. As she reaches up to wash the top of her shoulder blades a sharp pain runs through her and a small cry leaves her as the pain sets in until she lowers her arms. She waits for the pain to subside to get back under the water. She puts her head under the water and lets the water wash the soap from her body and wet her hair. She grabs the shampoo and lathers her scalp and smiles at the minty cooling it brings.

She stands in the water for a few minutes even after she’s finished washing her hair. She’s so tired she could fall asleep in here.

She shuts the water off and steps into the steamy room and grabs a towel and drys off, putting the towel on her head to dry her hair as she puts her robe on. She goes back to her room to see her suit is no longer on the dresser. Jay must’ve come and gotten them. She smiles as she grabs a shirt that she took from Jason one of the first nights that she came to live here. Even after a year of training it’s still fitting like a dress on her. She gets into bed and lets the comfort of her bed put her to sleep.

She comes into the apartment with a bag containing 2 boxes of black hair dye and a snack for later. “Jay jay im home!” “Bathroom!” “You taking a shit?” “No!” “You naked?” “No” “okay then.”

She enters the bathroom and is met with Jason, bent down to see the top of his head, with a fine tooth comb trying to take the white tuft of hair away from the rest of his hair but failing miserably. “Want some help?” “Please.” She chuckles as Jason sits on the toilet and grabs the comb and starts Sectioning his white bit from his hair. “Why don’t you dye this bit, I never understood why you keep it.” “Makes me look badass.” A laugh rumbles from her and Jason joins in with her. “Yeah and the 6’4 height and the 200 plus pounds of Muscle along with guns isn’t enough.” “Hey plenty of guys have that, who else can say they got a white tuft of hair?” “Old guys, maybe you are getting old now!” “You little shithead.” Jason grabs her sides and starts tickling her, as she lets out a laugh and a cry and tries folding her body from him and he gets up and keeps tickling her sides. “ST-O-PP II-TT!” She laughs “STOP IT DAD!” The tickling stops as she gasps and looks away from Jason. She feels his large arms wrap around her and is squished to his chest. She wraps her arms around him as well. “Okay then I’ll stop, daughter.” A few tears threaten to leave her eyes but she wipes them away on his shirt.

As they untangle their arms from around each other Jason kisses the top of her forehead, a smile breaking on her face. Jason sits back down while she takes the white hair and ties them with a small rubber Elastic and pins them away as to not get any dye on it.

She prepares the dye and puts it in a paper bowl and dips the brush into the mix, and starts off by painting the hair around the white. Then once that is coated she spreads more dye on his hair, getting it in well on his strawberry blonde roots and coating all the hair until it’s fully saturated in the now dark dye. She wraps his hair in cling film. Leaving out the white bit.

She sits down as Jason takes the other box and mixes the dye. He puts the gloves on and takes a glob and puts it in her hair, some drips on her forehead and she laughs at the scared look on Jason’s face. “Maybe don’t pick up so much dye in one go eh.” “Yeeaahh I’ll remember that next time.” He takes a washcloth he has ready for this very purpose and wipes the dye from her forehead. She chuckles at the look of pure Concentration on Jason’s face, even his tongue sticks out a little bit. He carefully rubs the dye into her hair and a calm silence overcomes the two. When it’s all in she wraps her hair in cling film and waits another 20 minutes for Jason’s hair to Process.

Once the 20 minutes has passed they go into the kitchen and Jason bends down to get his head in the sink. She starts washing the dye from his hair and makes sure not to get any in the white. Once it’s washed out her hair is ready. “Now I’ll try not to get any water in your ear like last time.” “You better not.”

Jason starts rubbing the dye out of her hair, another silence overcomes them as the water turns from black to clear. She gets up and puts her hair in a towel. The two walk into the living room and sit down on the couch. “What do you wanna watch?” “Umm, I don’t know.” “Have you seen the Harry Potter movies?” “No?” Jason gasps. “Okay I know what we’re doing for the rest of the day.”

He gets up and goes over to his stack of movies and picks one to go into the tv slot. “While you do that I’m getting something to eat.” She goes to the fridge and sees what she’s been waiting for all day. She grabs the yogurt and a spoon and plops on the couch with Jason. “How can you eat that shit?” “It’s the most wonderful and Decadent food in all of existence.” She says as she puts the spoon in her mouth. They relax as the first scene comes on and prepare to watch what will probably take up the rest of their day.

As Damian walks down the hallway of the manor he’s greeted by Alfred. “Master Damian, master dick has requested you to go to the family room for ‘brother time.’ I brought sandwiches and lemonade for you both.” “Thank you Alfred.” Damian groans as he walks towards the living room. The sound of the large TV is heard down the hallway the further he gets to the room. Damian walks in and sees dick laying on one of the large couches facing the TV. “Hey dames, come on in.” Damian rolls his eyes as dick sits up and he joins him on the couch. “What do you want, you never just invite me to watch a movie.” “I know, I was here helping Bruce with a case and we got it figured out faster than we thought and I’ve got nothing to do today. So I thought we’d have some brotherly bonding time.” “Can’t you do that with drake?” “He’s out with steph today.” “And Todd?” “Damian...you know he doesn’t talk to us anymore..hasn’t for a while.” “Probably because he’s got his hands full with that annoying little brat hes taken in.” “Wait what? What do you mean?” “Last month father and I went out one night to a large drug trade and found the place filled with bodies. When we found the couplet it was Todd and said he wanted to show us their work. He’s taken in a young girl and calls her his Protègè. And god she’s Insufferable and won’t shut up and is a fucking Nuisance.” “Oh yeah, what makes her that way?” “She’s always saying something snarky, always with a smug look on her face and makes inappropriate comments towards me.” “What kind of comments does she make? And why does it bother you so much dames?” “I’m done talking about her, if I keep thinking about her I’ll get a headache.” “Okay then..” dick says with a smile. “What do you want to watch?” “I don’t care, just nothing annoying.” “You find everything annoying.” “Not everything, just most things. Besides father and I leave for patrol in a few hours.” “Ever seen Chicago P.D.?” “No.” “Then we’re watching that.”

When Damian walks down to the cave he sees his father is already in his suit. “I need you to hurry up tonight, Croc escaped the asylum and is in downtown Gotham.” “Got it.” He hurried to get dressed and grab his things faster than normal.

Catastrophe, all that was around them was destroyed apart from the tall buildings that stood high into the sky. Cars where abandoned with windows broken. Glass and Debris scattered all over the ground, crunching against their boots as the walked around trying to find where croc went.

A scream could be heard on the other street over, Batman and robin running towards it. They cane to a halt when they saw croc holding a woman in the air, about to rip her apart when a bullet was shot into crocs foot. The beast let out a roar and threw the woman, both men running towards them to not only save the wounded woman but to stop croc. As Batman runs to fight croc, Damian crouches down to pick the injured woman. That is until he hears another person running towards them. It’s her. “You go help Batman and I’ll take her to safety.” Angel picks up the woman and runs towards the other street, presumably to where the cops are.

As Damian goes to help his father he gets hit by the tail of croc, throwing him to the ground a few feet away. Croc sets his eyes on the fallen robin, and charges at him raising his claws to strike him. But before he could be ripped apart a shot fires and hits crocs hand. As croc clutches his hand in pain, Damian feels arms wrap around him, pulling him up. “Are you hurt??” “No im fine!” “Then do your fucking job and try not to get killed!” Angel takes a rock next to her and throws it at crocs head. Angering him and having him charge at the both of them. Damian takes his grappling gun and shoots croc in the head and pulls him to the ground and kicks his head into the ground. Angel gets on top of croc and beats his head into the ground until croc gets back up and she swings off from him before he can fling her off. Red hood appears and shoots croc in the knee. Croc falling to the ground in pain. Batman comes and kicks crocs head into the ground again, finally Knocking him unconscious.

“You know I didn’t need your help!” “Hmm yeah, totally looked that way when you just laid there when he was about to rip you apart!” “We had it under control!” “You had it under control as much as you control your angel issues.” “DO YOU EVER SHUT THE HELL UP!!” “Don’t be fucking MAD AT ME THAT I SPEAK THE TRUTH! EVERYONE JUST TIP TOES AROUND YOU BUT GUESS WHAT I WONT! You’re just fucking mad that I speak the truth!” “IF IT WASN’T FOR THIS CODE I WOULD’VE KILLED YOU BY NOW!!” “ROBIN! STOP IT NOW!”

Damian didn’t hear his father when he charged at her, no longer able to control his anger. He grips her arms and throws her, her landing on the ground. She reaches back and hits him as hard as she can in the mouth, stunning him for a second as she flips around, slamming her thighs around his neck and locking him in a choke hold. “You know, most people in this Position are in very different Circumstances. If you weren’t such a prick I’d offer to try it out sometime.” She gets off of him as he gasps for breath. He hits her and throws her again, against a car and walks away.

“You know, I looked up to you when I was on the streets. Thought you and him were a symbol of good, justice, and to help others. Now I see you’re just a broken man who can’t handle when someone challenges you and gets angry when someone defies you. Robin is supposed to help people, to help the greater good and to save this city. You’re no robin.” When he turns around she’s gone. When he heard her, a pain shot through his heart. He let his anger control him, he was becoming what his mother trained him to be. A soldier that ends anybody who defies his beliefs.

As him and his father speed away awards the manor, a silence fills the space. Damian looking down just thinking. He’s not thinking about one thing in particular, more a jumble of things that he can’t put into parts and Sort through.

When they reach the manor Damian gets out and starts walking away, not even bidding Alfred or his father a goodnight. Both men watching him walk away with tense and rushed footsteps.

The sound of his door opening brings Damian back to reality. He walks into the room with his head still down. He goes to the bathroom, striping from his suit and getting into the shower. He scrubs all the sweat and grime from his body and washes his hair.

As Damian gets out of the shower he looks in the mirror and sees a bruise starting to form on his neck, from the girl who may Infuriate him, but also he let down because of his anger, a lesser but still strong pain shoots him in the heart at the thought. Her usual arrogant and snarky voice sounding disappointed and, pained. How many others has he let down since becoming robin? How many no longer look at robin as a symbol of hope. How many no longer think of robin being good, all because of him. The thought hurts him to think as he climbs into bed. The pained sound of her voice ringing in his head until sleep overcomes him.

Tags: @comic-nerd-dc @bakketsux @psychovigilantewrites

[cluttermind]

Without A Parachute (7/15) - Silver, Gold, and Secrets

Summary:  Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M

Words: 31,139 total / 6,952 Ch 7

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

A/N: Sorry again for the inconsistent posting schedule! I'm trying so hard to stay on track. Here's a LONG chapter with a whole lot happening to make up for it :) Enjoy some fluff, plot, and smut! 

Also the formatting is better on ao3 so I’d recommend reading there :)

//

I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow

Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows

One for sorrow

Two for joy

Three for girls and four for boys

Five for silver

Six for gold and

Seven for a secret never to be told

- Counting Crows, Murder of One

Cold, Emma rolled over to snuggle closer to Killian. Instead she rolled flat onto her stomach. She blindly reached out, slapping the empty mattress next to her trying to find him. Groaning when she concluded he wasn’t next to her, Emma rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, checking the clock next to her. 9:30 am . Sighing, she dragged herself out of bed and made her way downstairs. Halfway down the stairs she spotted Killian in the kitchen. His phone was in his hand. His ear buds were in. And he was dancing . Like an idiot. In boxers and a t-shirt. His hair still messy from bed. God, he was awful. But fuck he was sexy.

He clearly didn’t notice her because he didn’t stop, only slowed a bit to fill the coffee maker with water. So Emma snuck up behind him and joined his ridiculous dancing. Eventually he turned around, saw her, and broke out into a fit of laughter.

“What’re we dancing to?” Emma yelled so he could hear her over his music. It was so loud she could hear it faintly from where she was in front of him. In response, Killian connected his phone to the bluetooth speaker on the counter and blasted Your Such A Mystery by Bleachers.

To anyone on the outside of their bubble they looked ridiculous. To Emma, it looked like what love should be. Or, at least, what she had always imagined it to be. Jumping around the kitchen at 9:30 in the morning in their pajamas, everything felt comfortable and wonderful. Maybe it was the endorphins talking but she felt like she was on cloud nine. And when Killian pulled her close to him to kiss her passionately, she believed that this must be the high people tried to chase with drugs. Who needs drugs when they have a Killian?

When the song ended, Killian pulled back. “Coffee, love?”

“That depends. It’s not the same crap you have at the pub, is it?” Emma teased. Killian lowered the music so they didn’t have to scream to have a conversation when they were standing in each other's personal space.

He chuckled. “I promise it’s not. It’s local and it’s sweet. You’ll like it.” Killian poured them each a mug of coffee. He was right, she did like it. There was a hit of chocolate that did, in fact, make the bitter drink a little sweeter. She hummed softly, enjoying the comfort of the warm mug in her hand as the coffee started to bring her back to reality.

“What is it?”

“Ithaca House Blend from Ithaca Coffee Company. It’s fair trade and organic.” He explained, taking a sip from his mug.

“Why don’t you serve this at the Jolly?”

“Because it’s not cheap and I spend money on alcohol. You and maybe 2 other people have ever ordered coffee there.”

“Maybe that’s because they know you serve shit coffee.”

Killian chuckled. “Maybe.” Emma hopped up to sit on the island while Killian leaned back against the counter across from her. They drank their coffee for a moment in comfortable silence, listening to the music coming softly through the speaker on the counter. “How are you this morning?” He asked, tentatively. Concern blanketed his words, silently asking whether he hurt her, whether she regretted it, whether she enjoyed it. He was familiar with the buzz that an orgasm left him in and the way it sometimes, or more recently the way it often, faded the following morning. That morning, however, he woke up happier than he had ever been. Killian, who was much more of a night owl than an early bird, nearly sprung out of bed dancing while he replayed every glorious moment of the previous night a little too graphically according to a certain part of him that was more awake than the rest of him. That’s how he ended up dancing alone in his kitchen. Partially because he was happy, partially because he needed to work off the stress that started to settle in his stomach when he remembered the countless nights he regretted the morning after and wondered if that was how Emma would feel.

Emma knew. She knew exactly what he was asking when he spoke. “Cold. I did wake up alone while someone was having a dance party without me.”

Killian chuckled, set his mug down and moved to wrap his arms around her. Emma’s legs wrapped around his waist and his arms around his neck. “Better?”

“Much,” she said, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck.

“I have to pick up a few things from my apartment today and I assume you need some things from yours. I thought we could get that out of the way this morning, binge some Netflix or break out the DVD collection,” Killian’s voice dropped, “maybe jump in the hottub later?”

Emma sighed, heat pooling in her belly. “That sounds wonderful.”

They finished their coffee and made their way upstairs to get dressed during which Killian spent more time staring at Emma than actually pulling his own clothing on and Emma spent more time staring at Killian than actually pulling on her clothes and if it wasn’t for that lingering, delicious, ache between her legs reminding her of the previous night’s activity there likely would’ve been a repeat.

“Later,” Emma purred as she walked past him and out of the bedroom carrying her bag with her. Like a puppy, he followed her, hanging on each syllable that fell from her mouth.

They hopped in Killian’s car and drove back to Collegetown. In the daylight, the view from their drive was wonderful. Half the way back Emma could see the lake. She let her mind drift as she stared off into the distance, Killian tuning the radio to the local college modern rock station - WICB 91.7 FM. Emma’s eyes drifted to sleep from the soft vibrations of the car. Unfortunately her nap, which was more like sleep part 2 considering she had only been up for about an hour, was quickly interrupted by Killian gently shaking her shoulder. He had parked right outside the Jolly Roger.

“Swan, wake up, love.” He placed a kiss to her temple as if he was bribing her to open her eyes.

“Five more minutes,” Emma grumbled.

“You can go right back to sleep when we get back to the house but right now I need you to pack.” Emma groaned, refusing to open her eyes. “Or else.” Killain smirked

“Or else what?”

“Or else I’ll withhold sex from you all week.” He toyed.

Emma opened her eyes for the sole purpose of glaring at him. If looks could kill, Killian surely would’ve been dead in that moment. Then she closed her eyes again. “Okay goodnight.”

Killian scoffed. “Fine. Then I won’t buy you breakfast.”

Emma’s ears perked up and she instantly opened her eyes. “CTB?”

“If I say yes will you please go pack?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

Emma jumped out of the car, slamming the door a little too hard in her excitement. Killian mentally noted that she was significantly more food motivated than sex motivated and went to his apartment to pack his own things.

In her bedroom Emma stared at the handful of clothes she owned. She grabbed a few pairs of jeans and leggings and a pair of sweatpants, her favorite Cornell sweatshirt and long sleeve (which together may as well have cost her an entire week's pay), a nicer sweater, and some long sleeves. Remembering that Killian mentioned a hot tub, she tossed in the simple black bikini that Elsa made her buy back in September when the weather was still nice enough to go gorge jumping. But when it came to lingerie, Emma was stuck.

Emma Swan: When you’re back we need to go shopping.

Elsa Agnarr: FINALLY!

Elsa Agnarr: where?

Emma Swan: That mall in Syracuse you always try to get me to take you to?

Elsa Agnarr: really?! i mean im not complaining ;) why the sudden desire to take a shopping trip?

Emma Swan: Oh nothing. I just need some new bras.

Elsa Agnarr: and you felt the need to text me a week in advance to plan a shopping trip for just some new bras…

Emma Swan: I slept with Killian.

Emma’s phone rang and Elsa started speaking the second she answered the FaceTime call. “You did what?”

“I told you.”

“Were you safe?!”

“Elsa!” They laughed. They were the cautious two of the group, nearly mothering over August and Robin whenever they could. Of course Emma was safe.

“Was it good?”

“Oh my god.” Emma blushed furiously.

“Oooooo I knew he’d be good in bed.”

“Elsa!”

“Oh come on! Even though we don’t play for the same team, anyone with eyes would bet that Killian Jones is good in bed.”

Emma sighed, an unfamiliar green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head in Emma’s mind. “Don’t remind me.”

“So are you guys together?”

“I don’t know.” Emma admitted. She wanted to be. To call Killian Jones hers? That’s a dream Emma hadn’t allowed herself to have. No matter what, Killian had been there for her. To lose that, to lose her friend if none of this worked out, might kill her. He deserved someone better, someone less damaged . And the familiar spiral began tightening in her mind.

“Don’t overthink this Em. You deserve to be happy and he clearly makes you happy. I see the way you smile every time his name pops up on your phone.”

“I just don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“I think you ruined what you had when you slept with him. There’s no going back from that. You need to talk to him.”

“I know.”

“Elsa! Elsa!” Emma heard a familiar voice shouting on the other end of the line. Elsa giggled.

“Sorry I have to go. Anna’s been forcing me to help her make some pro/con lists for the college’s she’s been accepted to.”

“Well she can’t go to Harvard. That’s a given.”

“Can’t go to Penn either.”

“Guess it just has to be Cornell.”

“ Far above Cayuga’s waters - ” Elsa started singing loudly so Anna could hear the alma mater every Cornell student knew by heart by the end of their first semester.

“ With it’s waves of blue-” Emma joined in. “ Stands our noble Alma Mater, glorious to view. LIFT the chorus, speed it onward, loud her praises tell, hail to thee our Alma Mater - ”

In the background Anna groaned. “Not again.”

“ HAIL, ALL HAIL, CORNELL! ” They screamed, bursting out laughing.

“I’m going to Harvard if you don’t stop.” Anna threatened.

“No you’re not.” Elsa turned her attention back to Emma. “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Talk to you later.” They hung up. Emma’s lingerie problem, however, will have to wait another week. She shoved the nicest things she owned into the duffle bag she packed, stuffed her laptop and her journal into her backpack, and finally left her apartment to meet Killian at the car.

He was sitting against the edge of his open trunk, reading something on his phone when she reached him.

“Reading anything interesting?” She asked to get his attention.

“Nope. Just doing some online shopping, love.” Killian kissed her cheek as he took her bag from her and placed it in the trunk. He had a black backpack and his guitar secured in its case. “Breakfast?”

“Please.” Emma was starving and entirely unprepared for the way he took her hand in his after he closed the trunk of his car, nonchalantly, as if this was their normal, their comfortable, their them .

They walked to CollegeTown Bagels, their joined hands swinging gently between them. When they arrived, they got on line as Killian told her a story about one Summer he spent with his grandparents as a kid. His thumb rubbed softly over the back of her hand, engrossed in his own story. Emma, however, wasn't paying any attention.

At the front of the cafe, there was a brunette, a ghost from Emma’s past. Or, at least, she looked like a ghost from Emma’s past. Emma couldn’t quite make out the girl’s face. She was looking down at her phone, her hair blocking Emma’s view. Suddenly her past was flashing before her eyes, unfolding like a horror story where the victim runs into the house and the audience screams stop. But there’s no stopping the spiral Emma’s mind falls into.

A security guard was at the end of the aisle, clearly noticing the PopTart box Emma was shoving under her sweatshirt. The guard cleared her throat when Emma noticed her.

“Are you going to pay for that miss?”

Emma was panicking. She couldn’t pay for it. She didn’t have money. All she had were a few hand-me-down clothes in a backpack and a bruise on her cheek from her last foster home she was trying to escape from.

Thankfully, a brunette around her age came to stand beside her and held up a credit card. “Yes, ma’am. Our Dad’s in the car just outside.” The guard nodded and left them to be. The girl turned to Emma. “The key is swiping one of these.”

Emma nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’m just like you, you know. Trying to get away. I’m Lilly.”

Emma’s grip on Killian’s hand tightened like a vice grip.

“Swan?” KIllian asked, concern blanketing his voice. “Are you alright, love?

But Emma didn’t hear a word he said.

Emma and Lilly shopped for a bit. They became fast friends. When they checked out and left, however, a car not too far away started honking and driving after them. Emma figured this was the man Lilly swiped the card from. So they ran.

They lost the car and Lilly led her to a beautiful lake house that was empty for the season. And they promised to be friends forever, no matter what. Emma told her everything about her life, about moving between foster homes, about the abusive man that ran the last group home she was in, about how alone she felt all the time.

And Lilly pretended to understand. Because, in fact, Lilly couldn’t truly understand what Emma was going through. Because when they were caught later that night, it was Lilly’s father who caught them. Because this was Lilly’s family’s summer home.

Killian’s hand was starting to hurt under Emma’s grasp. It was their turn to place their order and Killian stepped up to the register, taking Emma with him.

The brunette looked up when she stood to throw away her empty coffee cup. It had to be Lilly. But what was she doing in Ithaca? Emma nearly started hyperventilating, wanting to call out to her but being unable to find her voice.

“Swan, what do you want for breakfast?”

Emma watched the girl she assumed to be Lilly leave. “I’m actually not hungry anymore. I think I’ll just meet you outside,” She said, without turning to look at him. Emma let go of Killian’s hand and dashed out of the cafe.

There was already distance between them. Emma just stood there, shocked. She didn’t know what to say or whether to say anything or whether Lilly still hated her. And even though Emma was standing alone, now nowhere near Lilly, she was working herself up to a panic attack. Her entire body was shaking. Killian followed shortly after.

“Emma?” He quickly noticed her panicked state and pulled her into his arms, placing a comforting kiss to her forehead. “Come on, love. Let’s go.”

***

Back at the house, Killian made tea for Emma and opened a package of PopTarts to put on a plate. From the kitchen he felt the weight of Emma’s thoughts, but she hadn’t said a word to him since the cafe. Something happened there, but he couldn’t figure out what. Was it him? Was it another guy? Was she having second thoughts? Was she starting to regret what they did? Was she starting to regret what they were, what they had become, what was so strong between them?

She was curled up on the couch, staring at the TV which was turned to the local news channel. It was Ithaca. It was grey, cold, probably some form of precipitation was expected at some point in the day, some local business was probably doing something for charity, the university students were probably protesting or petitioning something, and there was probably news about music or theatrical performances. Every now and again something major happened at one of the colleges and that was actually newsworthy. All of this to say that if you need something mindless to watch, local news in central New York was the place to turn.

Killian brought the tea and plate over to Emma who graciously accepted the mug but ignored the plate. Killian sat next to her, keeping some distance between them in case he was the reason she was upset. “Talk to me, love,” he urged her, gently.

Emma took a sip of tea. “It’s nothing, Killian.”

“Swan, you’re clearly upset about something. You’re an open book to me.” He sighed. “Did I do something? Do you regret last night?”

Emma looked at him, wide-eyed like a deer in headlights. “What?! No! Killian, no.” She set the mug down and laid down, resting her head in his lap. He stroked her hair, playing with his softly. Instantly she felt relaxed, her heart fluttering slightly, her entire body tingling in bliss from the feeling of Killian’s fingers running through her hair.

“You know you can tell me anything, love.”

Emma sighed. “I thought I saw an old friend. I guess she’s more like a former friend. I’m not really sure anymore, to be honest.” Killian stopped his motions and looked at her. “Don’t stop,” Emma nearly whimpered.

Killian chuckled and resumed playing with Emma’s hair. “What happened?”

“Lilly and I met when she saved my ass while I was trying to steal PopTarts from a convenience store.”

“Ah the shoplifting PopTarts story.”

Emma looked up at him. “You remember that?”

Killian blushed. “Aye.”

Emma could’ve kissed him senseless in that moment. Finally, for what felt like the first time in her life, someone genuinely listened to her. And this wasn’t the first time Emma had this realization about Killian. She noticed every time he heard her answers to how her day was. She noticed every time she ranted about school or told him what she learned. But something about this time meant a little more to her.

“Yeah. The shoplifting PopTarts story. Anyway, she made me feel like she was like me. Like she was also a foster kid, bouncing around from home to home. It was a particularly bad time. I was running away from a home that didn’t treat any of the kids right. There was always a reason for the guy running it to hit us, always something we did wrong, something we did to aggravate him. So I ran and I was hungry and I was about to get caught and Lilly stepped in with a credit card and said that our dad was waiting for us outside. She told me she swiped the card from some stranger, that she was also running from the system and brought me to this empty lake house which, by the way, was her family’s lake house because she wasn’t running from the system because she was never in the system and she tricked me into thinking she understood but she couldn’t understand. No one could understand what it’s like to constantly be running as a child, to not have a home, to sometimes have a roof over your head but never be at peace and never feel safe. No one could understand what it’s like to want to get the fuck out so fucking bad that you spend two and a half years living in a car you worked overtime to be able to buy just to have consistency in your fucking transcript so ivy leagues don’t immediately reject you. No one could understand unless they fucking experienced it.”

Emma was screaming by the time she finished. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she bared part of her soul to a man she realized she didn’t want to live without, a man that made her feel loved and at peace and at home, a man who would stand so fiercely beside her through anything life threw at her.

And in that same moment of realization for Emma, Killian fell in love with her.

“Emma . . .” Killian whispered, silently making promises to himself that he dared not speak out loud for fear that she’d run from the sheer intensity of the way he felt for her. No longer would he ever allow her to be hit or hurt. No longer would he ever allow her to feel alone or hungry. No longer would he ever allow her to not have a home or someone she would call family or someone she could turn to when everything was crashing down around her or simply getting too much for one person to carry. No longer would he ever allow her to feel unloved.

He didn’t want her to ever have to run from something again. He wanted to be what she ran to.

“There’s more. I’ll tell you the rest another day.” Emma sat up so that she could curl up against Killian’s side as he engulfed her in his arms. He held her tightly against him and they sat silently for a while. Eventually, they both fell asleep.

***

They were sitting on the floor on either side of the coffee table in the living room, Emma’s back against the couch as she lost yet another game of chess to Killian who broke out his grandfather’s marble chess set. He had even tried to let her win on multiple occasions but Emma was too distracted by his deep blue eyes to pay any mind to the game in front of her. She missed easy takes and fell easily into his traps. Fitting, really, considering how easily she fell for, fell into, him .

“Alright, alright, I surrender.” Emma tapped her foot against Killian’s thigh. “I believe that you promised me a dip in a hot tub?” She asked, smirking at him.

If it were possible to undress someone with your eyes, Killian would’ve been naked in an instant with the look Emma was giving him. He waggled his eyebrows at her, entirely up to play this game she started. “Did you bring your swimsuit, love?"

“Do I need one, Captain?” Emma teased.

“You little minx.” Killian growled, his cock already starting to harden simply at the words falling off her tongue, and the image they created in his mind. “You go change, or strip, either works wonders for me, love, and grab some towels from upstairs.”

Emma giggled and bounded up the stairs to change into her black bikini. She pulled her hair up into a bun on the top of her head, grabbed some towels, and rummaged through the dresser drawers to find a pair of Killian’s swim trunks for him.

She found him in the kitchen, pouring two glasses of red wine. Killian was nothing if not a romantic.

“I hope one of those is for me,” she toyed, wanting to get his attention and catch him off guard while she wore nothing but her bathing suit.

The second he saw her, Killian’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow,” was about all he could manage.

Emma threw his swim trunks at him. “I brought you these.” He caught them, easily.

He handed her a glass and kissed her softly. “Outside on the left end of the deck. I’ll meet you there, my love.”

The cold air nipped at Emma’s skin as she quickly walked towards the hot water, careful not to spill her wine. It was a long day that tested all of her emotions. Quite frankly, she was exhausted and stressed. Killian tried all day to keep her mind busy, tried to help her relax. As graceful as we were for him, none of it worked. Her past with Lilly kept replaying over and over like a broken record or a film on loop. Sinking into the warm bubbly water, her back against a few of the jets, finally she felt herself relaxing. The jets felt so good against her back she was nearly moaning by the time Killian joined her. She actually didn’t even notice him slipping into the tub across from her until he chuckled.

“Enjoying yourself, love?”

“This might be better than sex.”

Killian threw his head back and laughed. He could have come up with a cheeky line, but he knew she needed this. He knew she needed to really relax, to turn her mind off for a second. He’d follow her lead on where this went.

“Come here, Swan.” He took a sip of his wine and set it down on the ledge behind him. Emma moved to sit between Killian’s legs. He placed a sensual kiss on her shoulder and his hands trailed up her arms to rub her shoulders, working at the knots that had formed there likely from stress.

Emma moaned softly. “That feels nice.”

“All I want is to make you feel good.” Killian whispered against her ear, nipping teasingly at her lobe.

“Mmm you’re succeeding.”

He trailed kisses slowly down her neck, stopping at her pulse point to suck gently at her skin. His fingertips ghosted down her sides, tracing the curves of her breasts and her waist. “I’ve wanted you since the day I met you, Swan.”

His words sent a shiver down her spine as he spoke in that timbre she learned was reserved for only the sultriest of remarks, the dirtiest of phrases, the sexiest of sayings.

“Well now you have me . . . And I’m all yours, Killian.” Emma’s hands rested on Killian’s thighs. As much as she wanted to turn to face him, to straddle his legs and grind into him, to tell him to take shed them of the few clothes creating a barrier between them, Emma was quite enjoying this teasing game.

“And I, yours, love.” Killian pulled her back against him so she could feel the effect her words had on him. “Just hearing you say that is enough to turn me on.”

Emma wiggled her ass back against him which elicited a hiss from Killian behind her. “I quite enjoy having this effect on you, Captain.”

“Oh do you now?”

“Aye,” Emma said, mocking his accent.

Killian chuckled. “You think you’re funny?”

“Aye,” she mocked again, a devilish grin plastered on her face.

In response, Killian nipped at her pulse point, dragging his teeth teasingly over her skin, sucking to leave his mark on her. Not expecting how incredible that would feel, Emma gasped. “Not so funny anymore, are you, my love?”

Taking a deep breath to attempt to calm her racing heart, Emma hummed softly. “It’s hard to think straight when you’re doing such salacious things to me.”

Killian trailed his fingertips underwater over her stomach, whispering in a sultry tone against her neck between wet kisses, “Close your eyes, Swan.”

“Why?”

“Do you trust me?”

Emma closed her eyes. “With all my heart.” She let her head fall back against Killian’s shoulder.

“Imagine I’m kissing down your body,” Killian whispered, trailing his hand between her breasts and down her stomach to the waistband of her bikini bottoms. Emma hummed in response. “Teasing just above where I know you want me.”

Dancing his fingers over her skin, he turned his attention to her breast. “You’re wearing far too much clothing, love.”

Emma reached behind her neck and untied the top while Killian untied the back, tossing the material to the ground beside the tub. “Better?” She teased.

“Much,” Killian smirked, cupping her breasts in his hands, massaging gently.

Emma moaned, heat pooling in the pit of her stomach. “Killian . . .”

“Does that feel good love?” He purred.

“Fuck, Killian. Yes,” Emma groaned, arching her back as if her body was begging for more of his touch, more of his voice, more of his everything.

He placed a kiss on her shoulder. “You’re so beautiful, Emma.”

Emma hummed softly. “Don’t stop.”

“Don’t stop what? Talking?” Killian teased.

“Don’t stop talking,” Emma affirmed, the simple way each word teasingly fell off his tongue sending chills down her spine.

“As you wish, my love.” One of his hands grazed over a sensitive spot on her side.

Emma broke out into a fit of giggles. “Killian! Stop!"

Killian chuckled, purposely tickling her. “Stop?”

“I’m ticklish!” Emma nearly bucked back against him, her laughter uncontrollable. Killian grins, the carefree nature of her genuine laugh warmed his heart. For once today, after a long, stressful day, it looked like Emma was relaxed. But he stopped, lifting both of his hands off of her body, complying with her request.

“Wait, no,” Emma whimpered.

“No?”

“Come back.” She reached back and grabbed one of his wrists, bringing his hand back to rest on her stomach.

“I’m here, Swan. Wherever you need me.” He lowered his lips back to her neck, over the mark he had left earlier. Once again, his hands were roaming her torso, dancing over her stomach, careful to avoid her ticklish sides, caressing her breasts beneath the water, teasing her nipples.

Emma groaned, his name slipping effortlessly from her lips as her eyes close and her head resettles against his shoulder. “More,” she whispers, as if saving that word only for him.

“How about,” Killians hands trailed down her body to her thighs, “here?”

Emma inhales sharply, his fingers dangerously close to where she so desperately needs him. “More,” she repeats. “Killian, please.”

She can feel him smile against her throat, grinning like a madman.

“Where?” He asked, as if he didn’t already know, as if he didn’t already know where she was aching for his touch, as if he wasn’t aching to give her everything she needed, everything she wanted.

Emma rested her hand over his, guiding him to rest above where she needed him over her bikini bottoms. He strummed his fingers over her clit. “Oh god.”

“Killian will do just fine, love,” he joked, chuckling as he continued his teasing.

If Emma could do anything other than moan she might’ve - would’ve - rolled her eyes at him. Instead, she played along, giving him exactly what he asked for. “Oh Killian.”

He hummed softly. “I love the way you moan my name, letting the world know who’s turning you on, who’s making you feel this good.”

Grinding her hips into his hand, Emma was reaching the point of begging. “Killian,” she pleaded, “more.”

Killian grinned, having found the perfect opportunity to mention one of the ridiculous pickup lines he had spent hours looking for on the internet after they had first met when she was studying for economics. “Are your legs available for some open market operations, Swan?”

Emma’s eyes shot open and she turned around to playfully hit his chest.

“What? Not up for a conversation about open markets, Swan? I thought you’d be an expert after all that studying you’ve been doing.” He smirked, clearly enjoying this game they’ve been playing.

Emma glared pointedly at him, a smile tugging at the edges of her lips. “You almost ruined the mood.”

“Almost?” Killian raised an eyebrow at her.

Emma shifts to straddle his legs, now facing him, finally able to see the storm in his eyes. Killian dragged his nails down her bare back, scratching gently. Her hands tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck and her lips captured his in a passionate kiss she had been longing for since this dance began. His tongue slipped between her lips, finding hers as he held her close to her. Instinctively, Killian groaned into her mouth as her hips rolled over his straining cock.

Emma grinned against his lips. “You like that, Captain?”

Killian hummed, his hands now resting on her hips, edging her down harder on him as she resisted. “More, Emma,” Killian pleaded.

“My, my, how the tables have turned.”  Emma listed her hips off him entirely, eliciting a groan from the man beneath her.

“You’re killing me, love.” His hands ran over her ass, squeezing.

“Hmmmm maybe I’m feeling a sense of sympathy,” Emma teased, her hands toying with his hair, “for those swim trunks.” While her eyes portrayed the utmost innocence, her words insinuated that her intentions were anything but.

Killian smirked, waggling his eyebrows at her. “A growing sense?”

Emma giggled. “Well something’s growing.” She ran her hands down his chest until her fingers were brushing along his waistband. Killian leaned back, giving her the room she needed, groaning and laughing softly at the utter bliss rippling through his body at every brush of her fingertips.

Her hands grazed over his cock, clearly hard and ready for her. “Why don’t we move this into the bedroom?” She whispered salaciously against his lips.

“Swan, you read my mind.” She left him with a quick kiss, hopping out of the tub and wrapping a towel around her as she raced towards the back door to escape the cold, Ithaca night, with Killian following closely behind.

***

The past few days had been more than Emma ever could have dreamed of. Falling asleep wrapped in Killians arms holding her closely against her, waking up to freshly made cups of coffee, spending days playing games and reading and telling nonsensical stories, spending evening curled up on the couch watching whatever seemed interesting on Netflix, and spending nights making out on the couch like hormonal teenagers was simply perfect.

It was Wednesday. Spring break was halfway over and Emma dreaded having to go back to the reality of classes and studying and being apart from Killian. Her eyes fluttered open, sighing as Killian trailed butterfly kisses down her body. He had pushed the covers away, needing to see her face for cues. They hadn’t bothered getting dressed from the night before and had fallen asleep shortly after cleaning up from a delightful rendezvous.

She gripped the pillowcase with one hand while her other ran through his messy hair. A sleepy moan escaped her lips when he kissed her inner thigh. “Well this is a nice way to wake up,” Emma purred.

Killian grinned against her thigh, his stubble scratching gently against her only turned her on more. Unfortunately any endeavour he had planned for that morning was interrupted by Emma’s phone. He groaned, resting his cheek against her thigh, looking up at her with pleading, piercing blue eyes. “Please don’t answer that,” Killian begged. He’d been wanting to taste her all week, but they always seemed to get a little caught up in the moment.

Emma checked her phone, thinking it might be Belle asking her to come in a day or two to help out this week. “It’s August,” she said, confused. August never called her. His preferred method of annoying her was sending a million and a half text messages in a row until she answered. She gently swatted Killians face away from her, a move that was met with an even louder groan as he flopped onto his back. Emma answered the phone. “August?”

“Ems, I don’t fucking know what I’m going to fucking do,” August said, his voice sounding absolutely wrecked on the other end of the line.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Emma asked, concern so clearly blanketing each word that Killian was no longer pouting like an incessant child and instead tossing her his t-shirt from the floor before grabbing a clean pair of boxers from the dresser for himself.

“I can’t fucking believe this is happening. Everything is falling apart.” It sounded like August, someone who had been her rock through the stress of their first semester, was crying. Emma quickly pulled Killian’s shirt on.

“August you have to talk to me. What happened?”

“I didn’t get the fucking internship.”

“The one with the publishing house in New York? I thought the final interview went well! The HR rep basically told you that you got the job.”

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?!” August screamed. Emma winced. “Fuck, Ems I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” Emma asked softly.

August sighed. “I have no idea. I got great feedback after every round and they basically handed me the job after the last round but I must’ve fucked up something because I got a rejection email this morning.” He choked on a sob. This was his dream internship. He had worked his entire life for the chance to be at this publishing house. He spent countless hours prepping and forcing Emma to ask him interview questions he had complied from random internet sources and previous interns he connected with on LinkedIn.

“August, I’m so sorry. You have that other interview right?”

“I turned it down. I turned it down after the empty promises HR made.”

Emma’s heart broke for her friend. “Fuck August. I’m so sorry.” Killian came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth and flopped back into bed, throwing his arm over his eyes. Emma reached over to play with his hair with her free hand.

“I don’t know what to do.” August whispered.

“We’ll figure this out. There are still applications open and great publishing houses to start at. Check Nashville. If you’re feeling adventurous check London.” Emma paused. “We’ll figure this out, August.”

“I just wish I knew what I did wrong.”

“So send an email. You had a good relationship with that guy in HR, send him an email and ask for some feedback so that you can come back next year and do better.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” August sighed heavily. “Thanks Ems. I better go. Sorry for bothering you.”

“I’m always here for you, Gus.”

August snorted. “I hate you.”

“Aw, I love you too!”

Killian smiled next to her, partially because it felt damn good when she ran her hand through his hair like she was doing and partially because it warmed his heart to hear how much she cared about her friends. And he would have been lying if he didn’t admit that he was imagining what it would be like to be on the receiving end of her “I love you.”

Emma hung up the phone after saying goodbye and sighed.

Killian uncovered his eyes to look up at her. “Everything alright, Swan?”

“Yeah. Something happened with August’s internship and he’s back at square one.”

Killian rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “Why do I sense there’s something else? You forget you’re an open book to me, love.”

“I just . . . I haven't even thought about what I was going to do this summer.”

Suddenly, Killian’s heart was in his throat, realizing that Emma might choose to spend the Summer in a glamorous city working for an incredible publishing house . . . away from him.

“What do you want to do?” He asked, tentatively but ready to fully support whatever dreams and goals she had. If only she knew how deeply he was in this thing that they started, how fiercely he’d stand beside her no matter what, how no matter where in the world she was he’d either wait for her or follow her. Killian, he was realizing this week, would follow her to the end of the world, or time, if that’s what it took to be with her.

Emma smiled down at him, shifting so she was no longer sitting up next to him but laying down facing him. “I want to write. I really want to write.”

Writing . Writing was something she could do anywhere. Writing was something she could do in Ithaca. Writing was something she didn’t have to leave him to accomplish. Killian grinned before showering her face in kisses.

Emma giggled, rolling onto her back so that Killian was taking his place atop her. “What's all this for?” She asked between fits of giggles, pretending like she didn’t know why Killian was happy - ecstatic really. Her whole life she wanted to be a writer, to tell stories like the ones that got her through the worst moments of her life, the ones that provided her an escape even when she was too tired to run, the ones that gave her hope and showed her love and captured her wildest imaginations. Writing suddenly had an added benefit. She could write wherever she wanted to write. She could write from Ithaca. She could stay near Killian. Emma didn’t need to give up her heart to follow her dreams.

“I just -” Killian paused, his heart racing as he smiled down at Emma beneath him.

“What, Killian?”

His heart skipped a beat when she said his name. Granted, there was nothing he adored more than the way Emma said his name. This time, however, she spoke his name as if she was claiming him as her own. “I just really didn’t want you to be away from me.”

“I think you’re stuck with me.” Emma pulled him close to her. “If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Emma, I am always yours.”

Neither of them could imagine, in that moment, a life without each other. And so they didn’t.