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bubblyernie · 1 year ago

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I'm so very normal about Cam and I'd love to hear a bit more about him 🙈

grins in an evil devious way

YESSSS

Okay, im so excited, ill put it under the cut though EHEHEHE

Cam is one of those characters that in my opinion is there to be....like....deplorable. Like Erik from phantom of the opera (i actually have an AU of that in my queue for July OTL sorry its so far, pride got a big chunk of june), in the "yeah toxic absolutely mansplain manipulate manslaughter but if evil why sexy?" I think its great to love morally questionable characters and i love love lovvveee cam

Okay so backstory first, then other tidbits — long story short, imagine being so fucking cringe you get cucked by 3 generations of the same family and then end up being such a nice guy about it you turn evil. He's like "he's irredeemable. Oh wait he is redee- never mind he's actually still gross"

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Cam is a changeling and a hexblood. He's super duper in kahoots with Alphonse's whole family tree — you don't tend to age that fast in the feywild, that's important to keep in mind. He was born to like really humble family in the feywild, adopted and raised by an aunt (h-hag), unseelie court (not evil, i don't like how binary some people make the seelie and unseelie court, but theyre definitely opposing sides). And he worked really hard to get his career off the ground.

Cut to when he's a young lad, like 20 in whatever the equiv of fey ages are. Kinda falls for this Seelie gladiator who he saw performing (for the royal court) and loooooved the thought of performative battle. That was the monk-barbarian Maxmillion Zeus Chiore who's Alphonse's maternal grandpa. Max is like nah dude I'm a player, accidentally knocks up a woman and has to take care of the child who he was a really good dad to and ended up being kinda mellow.

Cam's like ugh he lost his flair. I wanna be a performer though. Grinds his ass learning to do ballet dancing, opera, and stage direction (Maestro bard). He's a really solid singer and since he's a changeling, he's usually deemed to be like a double or understudy — obvs wanes on him a little bc he wants the spot light. Years pass, he spots Max's daughter, Aesta, who leaves the royal court performing gig to be part of a travelling bard theatre troupe and he's like YOOO ill join you. So he does, they're really solid together, Aesta's an actress mainly, and Cam's like......bites lip. Aesta turns him down, and no matter how hard he works to try and convince her she's just not interested.

At this point. He kinda has this "I've busted my ass for everything in my career and my life i came from dirt. You noble seelie mfs are so dismissive of my feelings bc you have everything already, give me a chance" RED FLAGS ALL OVER. Worst of all, Aesta fucks off to the material plane for a while and Cam catches wind she married a MATERIAL PLANE ELADRIN, whos not a performer, he's a samurai. At this point he blows his fucking lid and storms off to his aunt like OOOH why i oughta!!!

At this point in a fit of rage he decides to swear an oath of vengeance (he's an ancients paladin) on behalf of the seelie court. Also becomes a hexblood — so the catch is that because of this, he has a crown of eldercross and a curl on the centre of his forehead (when he's good, he's very very good, but when bad, he's horrid). And every disguise he has now has a limit as his punishment.

Timelines diverge here — in one timeline, he actually DIES (slipped on a tomato, fell off the stage and broke his neck. So cringe) and now has a revenant bullshit thing going on. The other one, he unfortunately lives and ends up being the guard of Hallow King and the Unseelie side of the Harvester's Passage (its a two way door that connects the courts at the autumn court. Duke is on the other side).

Long time passes. This 7'6" fucking idiot falls through a fairy ring, he hears through duke who heard through pin that this guy is a chiore (goes by Alphonse Alpenski) and Cam is just livid bc alphonse is kind of a freak accident as material-fey offspring is pretty much impossible — its the genealogy of plants and crossbreeding, just doesn't happen. Swears like I'm going to end this fucking bloodline — tries to flirt with him for two seconds and Alphonse is like...damn dommy king okay bites lip. but at this point cam is just so enraged he cant even think about anything but hate LMAO

------

Modern AU is kinda funny bc theres none of that weird family shit going on he and alphonse are just in a kink dynamic. Uh happy pride ig. They both kinda hate each other but in a mutual respect kinda way

Tidbits though uhh

All my fey are based on a type of insect or animal. Cam's is a chameleon, his armour is based on golden tortoise beetle shells.

His eladrin version has chameleon plant leaves

His name is a poorly disguised pun. Cam(eron) O'Vladjcik - Camouflage

His main stage person is a tiefling named Martinus (discoverer of the chameleon plant) Dolos (greek god of deception) who has a kinda matador outfit, and Seamus, a satyr.

He's agender but always uses he him regardless of presentation.

Modern AU, has a horribly modern industrial style home that looks like it costs a million. Also keeps his granola and coffee pods in big glass jars. Almond mom energy. And he smokes. Yucky

Kinda hard to avoid in dnd setting but a bit of a hypochondriac.

Lot of the sock and buskin (theatre masks) motifs going on for him. Its why his face looks like that. SJFDKFD

His spells are flavoured to be theatre themed (summons a broom like Enter stage left!! Spotlight faerie fire, mannequin spirit guardians, trapdoor misty step, etc.) he is a theatre kid above all else

Hes like a homophobic homosexual

Spanish accent, baritone singing voice.

Changeling, bard expertise, actor feat -- my deception is +15.

Big art snob, i really love him, i talk shit but i actually really do enjoy writing his character, its fun playing insufferable npcs

im sure theres more but thats all i can remember rn. sorry its so long

#ANYWAYS #sorry im INSANE #about my Ocs #cam #oc #ocs #changeling #dnd #unseelie #fae #fey #feywild

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myearts-uwu · 1 year ago

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Hiii!!!! Im here again for best girl Myra!

Sooo, what happens to her when she's not in the au or with her husbands? Does she have her own universe or does she live in some kind of pocket dimension? Does she ever have existence crisis? Like 'Oh, when this over it's either going to be good or horrid and i don't know when it will happen' kind of way. I just imagine her as that one dude sitting in the chair despair way in evangelion.

Omg keep asking me more questions about my daughter I love it <3

So I do in fact have this small bubble universe where all of my OCs live in peace! And they don't really follow any specific story that I put them in. So this is like their little safe space.

And this universe is also the same universe where Myra has a perfectly normal life with her father (he a single pringle) and she has a nice job as a lawyer (since I aged her up to 27).

What kinda sucks is that Myra's vision is a bit... different compared to other OCs. and by that I mean any other characters that are just extras who play non-important roles in the world, she's unable to see their faces clearly. To her their faces are completely blurry. She sees other OCs' faces just fine. Just the NPCs.

Besides this pocket dimension, the world I think would be considered 'canon' I guess is my au!Jen universe since it's probably my most developed au at the moment?

When Myra is in her 'fully aware she's fictional mode', she's... mostly just desensitized by the idea of it. I mean she's been my OC for about a decade at this point at this point she's the only OC who's most closest to 'her creator'. She's more or less annoyed whenever I put her in more aus but when she's left alone with her thoughts she's really... really confused on what she's supposed to feel knowing her mind could actually explode if 'her puppetmaster' decides to overwhelm her with every single memory she has from every story I put her in.

#myra smith #oc #original character #ask box

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years ago

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honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

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resident-leevil-old · 3 years ago

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okay well anyways somebody asked me if i felt like talking about my raccoon city survivors au with mia and ethan again and the answer is YES.

> AU MINI FACTS <

- Ethan's mother died while giving birth.

- Ethan Winters and his father moved into Raccoon City when Ethan was a baby, around 3-4 years old.

- Ethan trans ftm because im trans and i said so.

- Mia trans mtf because im trans and i said so.

- Ethan & Mia are childhood friend to lovers in this au.

- Ethan's father worked for Umbrella, and Mia's father worked for the Connections while her mother also worked for Umbrella.

- Mia was born in Texas, but her family moved to Raccoon City after she was born. They still owned property in Texas, though.

- Mia & Carlos are related because I said so.

- so yknow the "dude its been three years" guy? that's their childhood friend and his name is Kyde because i said so.

- Albert Wesker Personally was ordered by Spencer to kill those scientists btw.

- a lot of this au is because i said so tbh

> AU SUMMARY <

Ethan Winters, Mia Oliviera, and Kyde Wells work together to survive six days of the Raccoon City Outbreak. In the process they uncover secrets and encounter many obstacles that just nearly cost them their lives.

> CHAR.BGROUND <

ETHAN W, SR - A scientist who worked for Umbrella. He lost his wife during the birth of his child E///// Winters. Struggling with the death of his wife and the harsh decline of his mental health, he began to experiment with viruses and vaccines in an attempt to bring his wife back, even using his child as a subject at certain points due to the child having strong genes from the mother. He acknowledged that he was a horrid father, but justified his actions by claiming he would bring back a better mother. He thought of Albert Wesker as a friend, and told him the truth of his research.

ETHAN W, JR - A quiet 14 year old that had a hard time making friends. Due to experiments from his father, Ethan is a culmination of infections and viruses that each impact him in different ways. As he grew up Ethan refrained from talking too much as to not interrupt his father's work, causing him to become selectively mute.

MIA OLIVIERA - Younger sister of Carlos Oliviera. Mia skipped a grade due to her intelligence and advanced knowledge on many things kids her age normally didn't. She very easily got sick as a child, though she seemed to outgrow it as she got older. She was schooled both at home and at school before the outbreak. She shared classes with Ethan Winters (Jr) and Kyde Wells.

KYDE WELLS - A friend of Ethan & Mia, known for his cowardice. Kyde has a heavy sense of self preservation, but a weighted sense of compassion as well. He only ever has risked himself for his two friends.

JAMES HARISON - Mia's father. He worked for the Connections as a scientist and a researcher. Harison and his wife often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

MARISA OLIVIERA - Mia's mother. He worked for Umbrella as a researcher. Oliviera and her husband often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

JAKE VERANO - An Umbrella worker who had been trapped in the underground facility for a week, listening to the sound of his coworkers being eaten alive. Unstable because of his experience, he tries to create a cure using the intel of Ethan W (SR).

> FULL AU <

[September, 25, 1998.]

Ethan Winters walked home from school when his father failed to pick him up. He walked through the streets, paying no mind to a big fight breaking out near him. On the way home, he meets up with his friend Kyde who had also been walking home. They talk and walk together for a bit, before splitting up.

When Ethan arrived home, he noticed the front door of his house had been opened slightly. Confused, but wary, he entered the house, knowing it was uncharacteristic for his father to forget the door was open.

He entered the living room, and found his father laying on the ground dead, shot twice in the head, having just been killed moments prior. Ethan moved over to his father, before Albert Wesker walked out of his father's office.

Ethan barely has much time to react to him, overwhelmed by his own panic and the death of the only adult in his life. Wesker - wanting no witnesses - shoots him three times in the chest, and leaves under the impression the child is dead for good.

Ethan Winters dies for the first time that evening.

[September, 27, 1998]

For the past two days, Mia and her parents have been barricaded in their home, unable to leave safely. Mia sat in her room for most of the time, unable to look out of the windows due to boards covering them. During those two days Mia tries to call Ethan and Kyde several times in hopes that they were safe. Neither of them answer.

Until this day, the 27th, at 2:00 am, when she calls Ethan. And he answers.

{TRANSCRIPT OF THEIR CALL:}

Ethan: h-hello?

Mia: [Ethan]! You're alive! Are you okay?

Ethan: I'm breathing. [Pause] I'm breathing. You okay?

Mia: I'm boarded up in my house, we can't leave safely. Everything is a mess. I'm so glad you're alive, [Ethan]. Are you safe? I'm guessing you're safe.

Ethan: Not sure. Not sure. Find you soon, here alone. Alone.

Mia: Alone? What happened? Where's your dad?

Ethan: [Pause.] [Loud sound in the distance.]

Mia: [Ethan]? Are you okay?

Ethan: [Dial tone.]

Mia speaks with her parents about the call, expressing worry about her friend. She spends a while trying to convince her parents that Ethan may be alive (purposefully omitting the dial tone) and need their help. Finally, they agree, and at 12 pm, they head out with all the resources they could gather.

Managing to stay out of sight, the family make it to the Winters' household. They find Ethan hiding in his bedroom, one infected laying in the hallway with a pole through its head and Ethan's father laying in the living room dead.

They rescue Ethan, and flee from the house. Mia's parents explain that they need to evacuate the city, but that they wouldn't be able to drive, so they'd have to move on foot. They returned to their house and rested for the night.

[September, 28, 1998]

The family and Ethan head out again, this time aiming to evacuate the city. After several close encounters with large groups of infected, the kids and Mia's parents are unfortunately separated. Given instructions by her parents, Mia leads Ethan through the city, having to take detours due to infected blocking pathways.

Eventually, during the night, they run into Kyde, who has lost his parents trying to escape the city. The three of them take refuge in an empty abandoned house, and rest for the walk in the morning.

Ethan sits up for a while, thinking about what happened to him, and trying to figure out how to explain it to his friends. Eventually he falls asleep, unable to figure it out. In the morning they head out again.

[September, 29-30, 1998]

During another detour taken due to large groups of infected, Ethan is kidnapped by a man in a white lab coat.

Mia & Kyde go after them, refusing to leave Ethan behind. They manage to find him after roughly half a day had passed.

Ethan had been in a hysterical state and through tears he explains to Mia and Kyde what had happened to him in his house a few days ago, confessing that he had died and revived two days later. He warns the two of them that whatever Jake, the white lab coat man, did to him, it made him dangerous and unstable.

Mia and Kyde refused again to leave him behind, and spend hours gathering information from files and research left scattered around. They manage to make Something that was able to calm him down and cleanse what they had learned had been called the "T-virus" from his body.

As soon as Ethan had woken up again, they fleed the facility, Mia & Kyde both making sure he didn't collapse on the way.

[October, 1, 1998]

They don't stop running when they're out. A broadcast goes out saying that the city will be blown up in four hours due to being unable to contain the outbreak. The three of them realize they won't be able to get out if they take anymore detours unless they find a vehicle with gas in it and a clear road to drive on.

Three hours later, out of options, nearly to the city boarder, and faced with another group of infected blocking the only straight shot out, they decide to risk a run through. However, just as they were pushing through, a helicopter flew overhead and spotted them. Calling to them, the pilot tells them to attempt making it up a building nearby if they could.

Through pure bullshittery and luck, they manage to make it up, and they board the helicopter. Just as it begins to take flight, the city starts to blow up bit by bit. In the distance, they see other helicopters flying.

> AFTER THE AU <

Mia and her parents reunite, her parents having managed to get out before the children did. Kyde goes to live with his relatives in Texas, and Ethan is offered to live with them as well.

Mia's parents move back to their texas home, and everyone who had been in the city were given therapy. Eventually the three grow up and graduate from highschool, and move on to other things, never once separating.

The three of them eventually move into a single house together in California, and some time after that Mia and Ethan get married. And for a while they live happily

And then, Mia witnesses Ethan having some sort of attack in the middle of the night one time, and realizes that he hadn't been completely cured of whatever had been infecting him in the city at all, and that it had only gone dormant for some years. While he wasn't vicious or attacking anyone, Ethan had just been really plagued and didn't even remember the fits that only seemed to happen every other night.

Out of worry and fear, Mia begins to work for the Connections, hoping there was something she could learn from them in order to help her husband finally be cured. And years after, RE7 began.

And THAT, my friends, is my Raccoon City Survivors au with the Winters, also known as Raccoon City Winters.

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ask-mortarion-the-death-lord · 4 years ago

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some continuation i guess

this time with the emperor

we get the basic rundown, born to human parents, massively gifted, immortal, hidden among humanity and all that. It’s here where his motivation to shepherd humanities psychic awakening is really first brought up [something thats given overall more prominence in the book as well]. a much more interesting note however

now, this probably seems inconspicuous enough at first glance. Indeed even in modern canon 40k’s imperium is first actually created over ten millennia ago. However, take into consideration this little bit earlier in the lore section that i didn’t think to much off at the time

now, taking this into consideration, the implication here is that the age of strife, something that is typically thought to end right before the unification wars in modern 40k lore, is only considered to have ended after the emperor’s internment upon the golden throne, and that further the imperium seems to only officially be a thing upon the that internment. Now this suggests some things to me, two large ones possibly being

a) the unification wars and the great crusade were more so part of the same wider war, ie that the wars ‘only the emperor remembers’ were a large conflict between various warlords to determine who got the rightful rulership of the crumbling pre age of strife human civilization. or

b) the emperor started the age of strife in order to dominate humanity to control and shepherd the psychic awakening he saw humanity stumbling into.

take your pick i guess. food for thought and all that. also

in my earlier post i jumped the gun, the 1st edition emperor is still a punk who needs human souls to survive. Though in this case its not some vague need to bind his soul to the chair or anything, no, its just that he apparently cant eat or drink anything else and hes really god damn hungry and thirsty all the time. Which is hilarious and i almost feel is just a better explanation in general.

to be fair he does look like this 10 millenia later

makes sense he would need to eat unconventionally.

as well, as opposed to specifying 1000 psyker souls a day it just mentions a vague ‘hundreds dying every day’ which is still a lot but also likely less then modern emps eats everyday.

some explanation/emperor wank on why the emperor needs to be fed everyday. not much to say, just that i feel like the implications here atleast lean a bit more towards the emperor being pitiable in his own right as someone so dedicated to this vague future ideal of humanity that hes forsaken most of his own physically and mentally.

apparently humanity underwent no genetic changes over 38,000 years that werent the direct result of mutation from environmental hazards.

@ lordsofmedrengard early dark angels lore, here we can see where they got stuck with the moniker of “first legion” from in 30k modern lore, and its cause here in the first 40k book they’re noted as being ‘honored as the first marine chapter’. Guess it was something they felt needed to carry over... I like the copious more amounts of wine in the old dark angels chapter, and they seem a lot more aristocratic here then in modern 40k. Which makes an interesting contrast compared to the barbarian stocks of soldiers mentioned earlier in the book as being preferred for “legiones astartes”

we get some rundowns on the branches of the adeptus terra next, not much particularly new to note outside of them all being part of this larger governmental priesthood. some highlights though

the old school custodes uniforms are in fact the traditional uniform of the custodes in 1st edition.

custodes wielded ‘lasers built to resemble the traditional and symbolic guardian spear’ whatever the fuck that means

tech priests and the adeptus mechanicus were monastic monks who primarily lived on earth and didn’t stick metal parts into and all over their bodies. they were consequently much more boring as the echlissiarchies IT department.

arbites basically doubled in the sisters of battle’s role as the militant branch of the state religion.

arbites fashion choices and the arbites acting in a similar manner of chaplains as well really.

the more voluntary nature of the astronomican in the first edition, the trainees learn how to safely let the battery drain them but it still seems to be a demanding job with a high fatality rate

they also share monastic tendencies and a uniform with the mechanicus, though theres is a fashionable blue.

included the entire bit on the administratum cause honestly, i find it incredibly fascinating. The parallels are certainly there between modern and 1st edition administratum, but i feel how its presented here just has more teeth and intrest to it. That is to say, its not just the ‘oh what fate, administration has become even more horrid, tedious and soul draining in this grim dark future, woe be us!’ that tends to get tossed around when mocking administration. Instead its a literal organization of religious monks dedicated to tax filings, school administration, rezoning and what have you. Blessed be the regulations and all that. Is there small cults dedicated to paper clip gods? what holy rites are involved when faxing documents compared to when faxing fourms? This is shit i want to know more about.

all adeptus terra adepts carry a knife and are likely legally allowed to shiv you here as well incidentally.

the inquisitors are mostly the same, though with no mention of chaos whatsoever. less sub divisions from the looks of it too. this bit did catch my attention though.

psychic powers seemed to be a hell of a lot more common among inquisitors back then as well.

quirky inquisitors, who’d have thunk it. [its not that surprising, i just like that they took the time to mention it is all]

don’t know wtf is going on here though, especially as to whats going on with dudes armour on the left. looks like a knight crossed with an oven.

we get the usual spiel of psyker background, but then we get some interesting differences in opinions here on psykers compared to modern 40k imperium. How justified or not it is, is up to you but its definitely a shift in tone i would say.

possibly the proto servitor narrative wise? As said, 1st edition 40k readily uses robots, so servitors would be unnecessary. technomats on the other hand fall between that as menials who likely operate these things but dont full on replace them like servitors eventually will.

astropaths are basically the same, though the 90% statistic im not sure if it holds over to modern 40k. im thinkin likely but i could be wrong.

navigators outside of not ubiquitously having the third eye mutation also seem to have much more personal freedom and respect in imperial society in 1st edition. probably pretty comfy to be a navigator back then really. Aside from that, navigator families are still a thing.

space marine time!

well we get the same ‘feral world recruits as warrior god soldiers’ sortta stuff, it is mentioned and stressed that hive world criminals apparently make better stock in terms of raw aggression. Entire gangs will even be rounded up for the purpose of making new space marines.

the early process to create a space marine. no special organs, but bio-chem and the black [plastic?] carapace were there from the start, and hypno indoctrination is alluded to. Apparently this is still barely controlled chaos though. [and on a personal note, nothing that indicates it was male exclusive either, outside of general attitudes of the 1980′s]

early organization graph of a space marine chapter.

chapter markings and armour

AND THE POSSIBLITY OF SPACE MARINE BAGPIPES, WHERE ARE THEY GW WHERES MY SPACE MARINE BAGPIPERS!

iron hands apparently only had the one iron hand?

list of chapter symbols with names and colours, these keep appearing in the book. seems i was wrong on only the imperial fist symbol, its actually the crimson fists chapter symbol so thats 3 of the modern big 9 that didn’t exist back then.

we get a break down on the typical structure of a fortress monastery for space marines next, using the space wolves funnily enough who were far more normal as it were in 1st edition [and also their home world was lucan isntead]. and its got a lot, and well its all fairly interesting ill just shotgun blast some highlights

that the space wolves had an entire fuckin ship hanging in their great hall i find endlessly amusing, so thats why its there. the rest are interesting in terms of the domestic situation of space marines.

#space marines #space wolves #the emperor #mechanicus

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sarayashikidays · 4 years ago

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some kuwabara and yuusuke headcanons and because im that guy there’s 1000% kuwameshi ones in there

yuusuke

38 year old Urameshi Yuusuke doing the most mediocre shit people pay him to do as a '"'"'"'"for hire PI'"'""""'"" aroumd Sarayashiki is a good one

"why you drawin' yuusuke with those tattoos...' I'm old and can't shake teen me's headcanon that the older Yuusuke gets, the more his ancestral markings show up permanently. he gets longer canines too,

Ages slooowly once he’s Mazoku, and makes him real depressed for a bit... then Kuwabara, Keiko and he hit 30: Yuusuke realizes he at least gets to see his pals get older... that’s really nice.

a bit bad at dating, bit bad at romance but a romantic! he tries! but his family situation was shit, the guy has no clue

my longest lasting HC: they’re BOTH trans dudes and kuwabara got on transitioning early because his daddy is supportive ( I SAY SO) and found the money to support his baby boy / yuusuke started on T late but then got uhh a little immortal so has to wear a binder forever lol sorry yuusuke

kuwabara

his mom was the extreme physic of his parents and died when he was young, but he saw her ghost for a while-- until he learned to sleep with his light off, and she moved on

a decent artist but only ballpoint on paper, because he's a people studier and no one can take that from me

gonna have to wear wrists braces from 18+ because of using his Reiken and Jigentou so much, not to mention the damage his skeleton took in all those missions? Man’s got a cane by 19 ( op projects a little )

horrid with dogs cannot do it, once accidentally lumped Kurama in with dogs and got a glare so bad he felt “he is a dog becuase that’s how they look at me.”

1000% Kurama’s best friend, they call each other every weekend, and after Kuwabara’s got a steady career Kurama definitely carpools with him to save his human pal the trouble. Buys Kuwabara ridiculously pricey ties and cufflink sets ( that kuwabara hardly wears because they go missing...)

after Yukina moved in, he slowly came to realize Hiei visits sometimes without saying anything just because how he can sense the guy coming and going, leaves cookies out for Hiei-- gets Hiei hooked on chocolate chips

kuwameshi

start dating later on ( ie 23+ because A. Yuusuke and Keiko tried to work it out and remain good friends/ good exes -B. Kuwabara goes into school and doesn’t have much free time until he’s finally got a regular teaching gig!)

Yuusuke gets distracted when he’s bored and can zone out and listen for Kuwabara’s heartbeat in the entire drone of the city’s sounds

Yuusuke comes to like baseball but they can’t play together, first time they tried, Yuusuke almost took Kuwabara’s hand off with a fastball

kuwabara has 1000% had a crush on him since middle school and Yuusuke is utterly oblivious forever. He literally never gets it but Kuwabara doesn’t care

Kuwabara is the one who steals sweaters and shirts even if Yuusuke’s two sizes smaller...

has more than once had to peel Yuusuke out of his binder because Yuusuke is too lazy

Kuwabara: helps Yuusuke apply his T gel that Yomi made for him every day, loves the little ritual of gloves then gell and Yuusuke always complaining it’s cold Yuusuke: Passed right out the first time he tried to help Kuwabara with his T injections

the cufflinks go missing because Yuusuke, in a fit of jealousy, will just. eat one. just eats it.

#headcanons #not art///#Urameshi Yuusuke #Kuwabara Kazuma #Kuwameshi

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rcl-stan · 4 years ago

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would i be friends with the pjo characters irl?

stolen from @best-ofpjo

(im writing essays for these istg)

percy - absolutely not. i hate that man. we’d know each other from middle school band where we both did percussion. i barely know him but every breath he takes shortens my fuse. i look forward to the class but every time i’m there and i remember he exists i just cannot wait to leave. he sucks at mallets but the teacher wont stop giving him mallet parts. his lack of talent is infuriating. in high school we have more classes together and i realize he’s not as bad, but this scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle gained so much raw fuckboy energy over the summer even though i at least know he’s not like that. we bond over our great taste in music after running into each other at a park, but we aren’t friends. if anything he’s only more of a minor significance to me. his existence still enrages me and no amount of halestorm can fix that

annabeth - we would have an unbelievable amount of mutual friends, but no matter how much we hang out i just can’t stand her. and the worst part is: i dont know why. shes so nice. she gives me homework answers and gives me her cheeze-itz when i dont have a snack in seventh hour. im never rude to her either. if anything, im the nicest i ever am around her. she thinks we’re friends but i just cant bring myself to be honest with her, especially because i dont know what about her bothers me. we make a tiktok together during a free period and from that point on i have a crush on her, but i only makes me hate her more. she has what my fans wish they had

grover - we’d be decent aquaintances. i find out he listens to coin a bit, but thats as close as we get. this dude smokes so much weed. i mean, not really that much, but he’s high off his ass pretty often. theres no way someone could possibly be so chill, with or without the 🍃. he offers me a hit but i decline. he’s respectful about it. the tech theater vibes are intense. its never his first choice, but hes always on lights. jokes on him, hes afraid of heights and hates going up on the catwalk. i call absolute pussy shit. thats the coolest place in the auditorium. he’s clowning

thalia - god i hate her. so much. just knowing she exists makes me want to cry. how can someone so horrid be related to someone so kind and respectful. sometimes im tempted to talk to her because she also likes halestorm and most of my friends get scared when im handed the aux, but i control myself

bianca - we’re best friends. shes so sweet. like, one of the sweetest people ever. shes very impulsive though and doesnt think things through often. this has torn apart lots of her friendships, but we always manage to sort things out. we’ve been friends since kindergarten. we make a pretty great team, but sometimes she forgets what kind of music i listen to. i get handed the aux. she’s startled, to say the least. she listens exclusively to girl in red, clairo, and tame impala. pros - she knows theyre not underground. we are often told that our music tastes match each other’s aesthetics. spoiler alert: we know

nico - surprisingly yes. when we meet we sort of just click. we’re absolute losers together and we like it that way. although ive known bianca for forever, we dont actually talk until middle school when im his band mentor buddy. hes absolute trash at music but we still become good friends. he has the energy of a baritone (iykyk, iydk: small feral animal) but he just doesnt have the talent </3 bianca jokes that i should bully him when she finds out we’re partners but is genuinely surprised when we become close. i’ll be hanging out with nico at their place and bianca comes home like “👁👄👁 girl- well do u wanna hang out after?” our favorite thing to do is watch bad netflix coming of age movies and judge them (and talk about how attractive some of the guys are)

will - yeah. hes nice, quiet, and chill. definitely the loud/chaotic one when hes with close friends. hes a people pleaser though and forgets to take care of himself sometimes. he has the absolute worst taste in music. arrest worthy. exclusively country, except for his favorite artist, which is ed sheeran. his personality makes up for it though. hes the only other one in our friend group whos seen glee and we mourn naya rivera together

luke - no. hes a predator and everyone knows it. he has intense sde. he has almost no friends and everyone likes it that way. hes a supersenior bc this man has no 🧠 and is also still trying to get freshman girls bc he knows no one else is dumb enough to let him techdeck on their tiddies. but he’s a fool. no one is dumb enough to let him techdeck on their tiddies

imma make a part two with more and also continue on with other series !! this was fun ☺️

#soel.txt #fr tho this was too much fun #pjo #riordanverse #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #thalia grace #bianca di angelo #nico di angelo #will solace #im not tagging l*ke 😐

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woodentranscripts · 4 years ago

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Season 1 Episode 1 The Bane of Rudyard

It's the worst day of Rudyard's life when new competitor Eric Chapman arrives on Piffling and becomes an immediate sensation.

Written by David K. Barnes

EPISODE ONE: THE BANE OF RUDYARD

[narration from Madeleine]

Now, Hidden in the English Channel is an island called Piffling. On the island is a village - Piffling Vale - and the village has a square, and the square has this lovely little antique shop but opposite the antique shop is a funeral home which is where much of this chronicle will be set, I’m afraid. You see, I want to tell you all about a man named Rudyard Funn. He owns the funeral parlour, he’s responsible for all the funerals in Piffling Vale and today, he experienced what was undoubtedly the worst day of his life. Which was probably long overdue.

[funky intro music]

REV: We gather here today to celebrate the life of Stanley Carmichael, who was taken from us only five days ago

He continues

[narration] It all began with a funeral, the antique dealer Stanley Carmichael, whose shop was immediately opposite Rudyard’s premises, had led a life of peace and ordered calm of eighty nine years… and had subsequently crushed to death by a granite sundial.

REV: I confess I never actually bought anything from him. His prices have been quite steep actually, though I did have my eye on that sundial. I might still be tempted if it came down in price, hint hint. (laughs)

[narration] Stanley’s relatives pricked up their ears at the prospect of getting something for that granite sundial. Whilst nearby, his eyes sunken, his skin pale and drawn: stood Rudyard, looking at his watch and wishing strongly that the reverend wasn't an agnostic.

REV: … and undoubtedly looking down at us from his place with God. Unless you don't believe in that sort of thing - which I won’t hold against you, mind you God probably will. Unless he doesn’t exist, in which case he won’t even have anything to complain about, really.

RUDYARD: (clears throat) Reverend.

REV: Sorry, did somebody say -

RUDYARD: Reverend. REV: Oh hello Rudyard- RUDYARD: You’re rambling. REV: Sorry? RUDYARD: You’re rambling again REV: Oh God, am I?

RUDYARD: Yes! REV: I’m so sorry, where was I? RUDYARD: His spirit looking down at us from his place- REV: OH! From his place with God, yes, yes, thank you, right, right, I’ve err Looking down at us from his place with umm… no. No, actually, I don't suppose we could have a quick show of hands? RUDYARD: No! No! Now come on! REV: If you believe in God, could you put your hands up, can we all do that? Put your hands up if you believe, ughh right, right err bout half. Um so! Ah yeah. What I might do is do the service twice- RUDYARD: We don't have time!

REV: Once with God in it and the other without. RUDYARD: No! We’re overrunning. REV: Oh! But I thought I might read out a few psalms RUDYARD: Which ones? REV: I don’t mind, I'll be happy to take requests if anyone’s got any favourites? RUDYARD: Nononono. We’re sixteen minutes behind schedule, nearly seventeen. Georgie? (snaps finders) Wake up! GEORGIE: (groans) I don’t want to RUDYARD: We need the coffin in the ground. Now. GEORGIE: Sir, it’s a very heavy coffin RUDYARD: What’s your point? GEORGIE: I’m the only pallbearer RUDYARD: Oh stop moaning, put your back into it! GEORGIE: Ughh Fine! REV: Do we have time for some funny anecdotes? RUDYARD: We’re late as it is and it’s pissing it down - so no. PERSON 1: He’s ruining everything! RUDYARD: There you are reverend, you’re losing them REV: Oh! I thought they were rather getting into it! PERSON 2: Not him, you! RUDYARD: Me? PERSON 3: You horrid little man, stop hurrying things along!

RUDYARD: Don’t you know what a schedule is? PERSON 3: So rude! RUDYARD: This isn’t my only gig today, you know. I’ve got Mr Ascii to measure up in half an hour! PERSON 1: He’s not dead! RUDYARD: Well he doesn’t look healthy, though, does he? PERSON 3: Stop talking we’re trying to honour Stanley! RUDYARD: Honour Stanley! You didn’t even like him. PERSON 3: How dare you! RUDYARD: I noticed in the shop you slipped that carriage clock down your blouse when you thought no one was looking! (gasps) RUDYARD: And the dressing table! (even more gasps) PERSON 2: I knew it! PERSON 3: Shut up! Bill swiped the portrait of Ova Broughn PERSON 2: Bill! I wanted that portrait! PERSON 1: Well you can’t have it! (gasps) PERSON 1: I’m sorry Jerry, I just lost control, OW REV: Now come, come everyone. Stay calm… Jerry put that shovel down! RUDYARD: Alright, Georgie, get the body in the ground GEORGIE: Sir, They’re not very happy RUDYARD: Of course they don’t look happy, it’s a funeral. Off you go! (she grunts) [narration] The service completed, Rudyard Funn and Georgie Crusoe fled the cemetery and hurried back to the funeral home. Established by local character and serial bigamist Gilbert Funn in the fifteenth century, Funn Funerals have always maintained a solid reputation for being the only funeral home on the island. RUDYARD: (grunts) What it could be a good thing back there, you saw Stanley’s widow GEORGIE: That sad old lady RUDYARD: Yes, when she took a swing at her son in law I think she fell into the grave instead. I don’t know if it was fatal but it looked promising to me GEORGIE: Do you think we’d be able to have a quiet funeral RUDYARD: Asking for the impossible never helped anyone GEORGIE: People smiling, swapping happy memories, I’m not sure every funeral should end with violent conflict RUDYARD: Georgie, once you’ve been here a few more months you’ll realise all funerals always end in bloodshed, there's very little you or I can do about it. Now go and get the measuring kit I want to go to Mr Ascii’s and see if he’s dead yet! GEORGIE: Are you sure it’s worth the bother? RUDYARD: I’ve gone round everyday for the last six weeks, I’m not giving up now, Hop to it! GEORGIE: yes sir~ RUDYARD: Get me a dry jacket, and another hat! Where’s Antigone? Antigone! Now look here, yes. Stanley’s widow! Ha I knew it! No, nothing sorry. We can fit her in a six o clock, I’ll leave her in the ground for the moment, it’ll save time in the long run. No, she shouldn’t be brawling at her age. Of course I could fancy my chances against her, Im thirty-five, she was eighty-two see you at six. Georgie! We’ve got a full day ahead of us! Where’s Antigone? GEORGIE: Try the mortuary! RUDYARD: Are you in the mortuary? Antigone? Antigone? Are you in the mortuary? Antigone? Antigone are you in the- ANTIGONE: What?! RUDYARD: I’m back. ANTIGONE: I’d rather look at the corpses. RUDYARD: Oh for- ANTIGONE: Does rest in peace mean nothing to you?! RUDYARD: Well I don’t hear the guests complaining. Room for another? ANTIGONE: Is it Mr Ascii RUDYARD: Not yet, this ones a bonus! [narration] That’s Antigone, Rudyard’s twin sister, despite actually being born one week afterwards. The poor dear had been diagnosed with depression within twenty minutes of being born - a world record which gave her no consolation at all. ANTIGONE: So how was it today? RUDYARD: Err the vicar’s getting worse and of course it was raining and inevitably it ended with a punchup over a portrait of Eva Broughn. But personally I found it all very moving ANTIGONE: Brilliant, so that's another grieving widow we’re going to have to apologise to RUDYARD: No we won't. ANTIGONE: Why not?! RUDYARD: She fell into the grave and died before I left! ANTIGONE: She what?! RUDYARD: It’s been a very productive morning ANTIGONE: You really have no concept of what good business is, do you? RUDYARD: I’d love to disagree with you and Oh! I’m doing it right now ANTIGONE: I’ve been in the mortuary all morning and do you know what I’ve been up to! RUDYARD: Oh sure I don’t want to know ANTIGONE: I’ve spent the past five hours mixing formaldehyde and methanol with clementine and a tiny, tiny dash of cinnamon. That’s what I’ve been doing for five hours! RUDYARD: Should I ask why? ANTIGONE: To try to make our embalming fluid smell nicer! So the bodies will smell nicer! Because have you really ever smelt a body, Rudyard? RUDYARD: Why do we still talk to each other? ANTIGONE: Now! Thanks to me, they’ll smell brighter, fresher, not like bodies at all. That’s the sort of service I’m striving for, Rudyard. I want them to forget that the body is a body. RUDYARD: Yes that’ll work, our Grandad’s dead but don’t worry because he smells like christmas! ANTIGONE: It’s attention to detail Rudyard! It’s how we run a business, you would know! RUDYARD: We get the body in the coffin in the ground on time GEORGIE: Sir, your other jackets been eaten by moths - I saw the whole thing. RUDYARD: Not now, Georgie, how long did it take for the coffin to get to the ground this morning? GEORGIE: A couple of seconds? RUDYARD: Now that’s a good service! GEORGIE: Because I dropped it RUDYARD: But it got where it needed to be and that’s what they pay us for. ANTIGONE: Rudyard, for the very last time! They don't want chaos! They don’t want stress and they don’t want a relative dead before the first is even been buried! RUDYARD: How do you know what they want?! ANTIGONE: In the name of sanity, Rudyard - RUDYARD: I’ve got a very busy day ahead of , so just get back into the mortuary CHAPMAN: Hello! RUDYARD: Yes? CHAPMAN: Eric, Eric Chapman. I’m new, to the place! Just arrived! GEORGIE: Good morning RUDYARD: Georgie, leave it to the professionals. Good morning. We’ve not met. CHAPMAN: No, because I’m new, to the place RUDYARD: You don't have to brag about it! I have met people before CHAPMAN: You’re Mr Rudyard Funn, of Funn Funerals? RUDYARD: Correct CHAPMAN: Terrific name, suppose you put the fun in funerals RUDYARD: No, of course we don’t, that’s obscene CHAPMAN: Sure, never mind

ANTIGONE: Hello Mr Chapman CHAPMAN: OH! Jesus ANTIGONE: Is this too close? CHAPMAN: A little bit! ANTIGONE: Sorry! CHAPMAN: No, don’t mention it! ANTIGONE: Sorry, I’m Antigone, sorry pleased to meet you. CHAPMAN: Err, likewise call me Eric. Are you in charge? ANTIGONE: I’m the mortician, where the action is, CHAPMAN: I bet there’s not much you don’t know about the body, Antigone? ANTIGONE: That sounded like a double meaning GEORGIE: It’s called flirting ANTIGONE: Oh gosh, is it? CHAPMAN: Well, now ANTIGONE: It’s smashing, do it again, have I made it awkward? DAMN RUDYARD: I haven’t got all day! CHAPMAN: Yes so, Rudyard, Antigone and GEORGIE: Georgie, Hi ANTIGONE: That’s enough! CHAPMAN: I saw you at the funeral, didn’t I GEORGIE: Yeah, helping out, it’s a job RUDYARD: Georgie, don’t give away company secrets GEORGIE: I was only - ANTIGONE: Hang on, you were at the funeral this morning? CHAPMAN: Yes I was RUDYARD: And I’m sure you’re impressed with what you saw there Mr Chapman but we really are frightfully CHAPMAN: Actually I wasn’t entirely sure it came off RUDYARD: I’m sorry? CHAPMAN: For a start it got a little violent didn’t it? RUDYARD: Did you think so? CHAPMAN: At the end yes RUDYARD: I’m not sure what funeral you were watching, Mr Chapman but all I saw was good clean mourning CHAPMAN: Didn’t someone die? RUDYARD: A very convenient place for it to happen, Georgie GEORGIE: I’m not RUDYARD: There you go, don’t let us keep you Mr Chapman CHAPMAN: And I thought there could have been a greater attention to detail. Stop me if I’m getting too critical. RUDYARD: Okay I’ll stop you there ANTIGONE: Shut up, carry on Mr Chapman CHAPMAN: Eric ANTIGONE: Gosh CHAPMAN: I have to say it was a little bit grim, I mean it’s a funeral it’s hardly party time but even so these occasions should be a celebration of life rather than going on about death, do you know what I mean? RUDYARD: Nope CHAPMAN: Ah, I don’t want to be made more miserable and I want to remember those happy magnificent memories, I want a cheerful atmosphere, bright flowers, music, funny recolations ANTIGONE: Sweeter smelling fluids CHAPMAN: Exactly, fluids? ANTIGONE: I think they’re very important. CHAPMAN: Sure thing. That's what I mean! Sorting out those little details, pushing the boat out, or the hearse out, well that's just my two cents for what it’s worth RUDYARD: Well, I don’t know what planet you live on, Mr Chapman, but - ANTIGONE: Thank you! We’ll bear those things in mind, won’t we Rudyard. RUDYARD: remind me- ANTIGONE: Smashing! CHAPMAN: Anyway, I thought I’d swing by ANTIGONE: Oh any time! CHAPMAN: Thank you, ANTIGONE: Any time at all CHAPMAN: Yes, I was just swinging by to see the competition. RUDYARD: Competition? CHAPMAN: Yes. ANTIGONE: You mean like a raffle? CHAPMAN: Not exactly RUDYARD: I hate raffles CHAPMAN: That’s a strange thing to hate. I meant you lot! Er, Funn Funerals the local competition… In funerals RUDYARD: You’re an undertaker. CHAPMAN: Well clients prefer funeral director ANTIGONE: You’re just visiting though?! CHAPMAN: No, I live here now, I’m setting myself up ANTIGONE: Your own funeral home? CHAPMAN: yeah, Chapmans, not quite as catchy as Funn Funerals but there we are ANTIGONE: Where are you going to be? CHAPMAN: You know the antique dealer you just buried, Stanley Carmichael? I’m just taking over his premises. ANTIGONE: Just across the square! CHAPMAN: That’s right! Opposite you actually, we’ll probably see a lot of each other, compare notes, swap stories, down the pub - mine’s a light ale by the way. Err did someone die in here? RUDYARD: Goodbye Chapman. CHAPMAN: Oh sure! Glad to meet you Rudyard, Antigone ANTIGONE: Chapman. CHAPMAN: Georgie GEORGIE: See you later ANTIGONE: That’s enough! CAPMAN: Okay. (exhales) Enjoy yourselves! Ah! The sun’s come out! RUDYARD: If he thinks I’m going to buy him a light ale, he’s very much mistaken. ANTIGONE: Oh shut up Rudyard! This is actually very serious. GEORGIE: He seemed fine ANTIGONE: No he didn’t, Georgie, coming over here waving his credentials in our faces, giving us feedback, my god! GEORGIE: I thought you liked him? ANTIGONE: Liked him?! Liked him?! GEORGIE: Yeah! You were talking about fluids and everything! ANTIGONE: That’s professional chit-chat for god’s sake, do you think I like gorgeous handsome men, do you? Exactly, it’s disgusting, it’s disgusting RUDYARD: I can’t think of a scenario where I would buy someone a light ale ANTIGONE: Rudyard, focus! He is serious competition RUDYARD: Him? Competition? Were you listening to the man? GEORGIE: No she wasn’t, She was gazing into his eyes ANTIGONE: Georgina! Go and make some tea. GEORGIE: We haven’t got a kettle ANTIGONE: Buy one. GEORGIE: Fine ANTIGONE: Rudyard, we’re finished, I think I’ll take a cyanide capsule RUDYARD: We are not finished, we’re an established firm, going back centuries! Nobody round here is going to book a funeral with a complete stranger. ANTIGONE: Rudyard! Look At His Shop! RUDYARD: What is it? ANTIGONE: He’s already changed the sign! ‘Chapman’s’ Just like he said. RUDYARD: I’ll admit he’s working quickly. ANTIGONE: That does it. You’ve got to see the mayor, tell him this village isn’t big enough for two funeral homes! RUDYARD: That’s not a bad idea actually, I’ll see him now. (leaves) One day I’ll find an umbrella. [narration] Rudyard scuttled across the village square and up the step leading to Piffling Hall. He was shown into the office of the Right Honourable Mayor Desmond Desmond. A man who thought the most wonderful words in the english language were “I’m sure it’s going to be fine!” SECRETARY: Mr Rudyard Funn to see you sir. MAYOR: Oh, Thank you Margery RUDYARD: Your worship, I really am most desperately sorry to- where are you? MAYOR: Down here, Rudyard, Under the desk. RUDYARD: Why? MAYOR: Ohh, just sitting here, you know. Doing a bit of thinking, big world out there RUDYARD: Yes, er I came to ask you- MAYOR: Rudyard, do you know what the difference is between a village and a town. RUDYARD: Well er, a town has a greater area, MAYOR: Yes? RUDYARD: Higher population, more amenities MAYOR: Ah, amenities, yes RUDYARD: A mayor! MAYOR: oh yes RUDYARD: I actually came to- MAYOR: We have to do something, Rudyard, with our lives haven’t we Rudyard? Don’t you think? RUDYARD: Yes! MAYOR: I look at my seal of office sometimes and all my envelopes, and I read my name, and have I done enough I ask myself, am I even Right Honourable because I don’t feel it. RUDYARD: Well, to call yourself Right Honourable you have to be a judge or a privy counsellor MAYOR: Really? I’m going to change all my stationary now! You see, this is the thing I’m talking about! What have I earned? What have I achieved? God knows we have to try and justify ourselves, somehow. RUDYARD: mhm, I don’t like the man across the road from me. MAYOR: Exactly, and then what with my sister passing the bucket last week, oh top drawer send off you chaps gave her by the way. RUDYARD: Oh, thank you! MAYOR: Oh, pity it rained RUDYARD: Yes well MAYOR: Can’t help that, or the grounds subsidence, still we all laughed seeing her flopping about like that did we- anyway, Do you know what I’ve decided to do, Rudyard? I am going to turn this village into a town. That’s what I’m going to do. I mean things must expand, mustn’t they? RUDYARD: Probably? MAYOR: Do you think so? Good! She used to say terrible things to me, my sister RUDYARD: I’ve got a problem actually MAYOR: Have you? Well can I help, cause I really like to be useful RUDYARD: I think you can be, you see, your worship, there’s this man. MAYOR: He’s not worth it Rudyard. RUDYARD: Yes. What? No I mean, this man is opening a new funeral home directly across the road from mine. MAYOR: Is that a problem? RUDYARD: We can’t have two funeral homes can’t we? MAYOR: Can’t we, why not RUDYARD: Well it’d be ridiculous! MAYOR: I don’t was to look ridiculous! RUDYARD: Exactly! If we have two funeral homes, why not two fire stations, two hospitals, two mayors! MAYOR: Two mayors!?! Could it really get that far? RUDYARD: I would hate to speculate MAYOR: Help me up, would you? Yes, I think we should stab this in the bud immediately. Thank you Rudyard. RUDYARD: Thank you your worship! MAYOR: Gets me out the office anyway RUDYARD: Well from under the desk. MAYOR: We won't talk about that. Margery, cancel my appointments for today SECRETARY: There aren’t any MAYOR: Thank you! Off we go, Rudyard [narration] Upon arriving at Chapman’s, Rudyard and the - until recently Right Honourable Mayor Desmond Desmond discovered that the place was about ready to be opened! And it wasn’t yet even midday! Rudyard braced himself for a sinister journey into the unknown MAYOR: Wasn’t this place an antique shop a few hours ago? RUDYARD: I don’t understand how he has managed to do all this?! MAYOR: Bit flash isn’t it, all these happy colours, not a patch on your set up, look not a speck of dust anywhere! RUDYARD: I mean, he arrived this morning! MAYOR: It must be said though, these sofas are really comfy! Is that a coffee machine? RUDYARD: Yes? MAYOR: Does your place have one of those? RUDYARD: We bought a kettle only half an hour ago CHAPMAN: Hi, sorry to keep you waiting as you can imagine, it’s all go here! RUDYARD: Is that a lift?! CHAPMAN: Mr Mayor, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Eric Chapman, there are some chocolate truffles in the bowl there, help yourself. Would you like the tour, I’d love to show you around, it’s still not quite finished MAYOR: Perhaps another time, Mr Chapman RUDYARD: You’ve got a lift?! MAYOR: Umm, I don’t know quite how to say this but CHAPMAN: How to say what, Mr Mayor? MAYOR: Well, it’s very naughty of you to have done this, is it? CHAPMAN: Is it? MAYOR: Oh without permission I mean CHAPMAN: But you gave me permission MAYOR: Did I? CHAPMAN: I mean before I came here, I was calling back and forth with your people and everything got sorted and err where are we, here we are, look, here’s your signature MAYOR: Yes, the smiley face in the ‘O’ well, it’s definitely mine! You must understand, I don't always read everything I’m given, I am usually kept very busy CHAPMAN: I’m sure, don’t worry about it MAYOR: What do you think? Rudyard? RUDYARD: That’s a really nice lift?!! CHAPMAN: Oh thanks Rudyard MAYOR: Yes, well, even with all this I mean, I am the mayor aren’t I and I have the perfect right to change my mind. CHAPMAN: Oh do you not want me here? MAYOR: No no no no! Not that but you see it’s just that well err, Rudyard? RUDYARD: Sorry? Yes er, Now Look Here CHAPMAN: Yes? RUDYARD: We’ve already got a funeral home MAYOR: Exactly! We’ve already got one and will the best will in the world we can’t have two funeral homes, can we? CHAPMAN: Why? MAYOR: Because, well, then you see, we’d need apparently have to have two hospitals you see? CHAPMAN: That’s a great idea MAYOR: Is it? Oh well good, I’d get onto that! BUT No, nevertheless the village just can’t sustain two funeral homes can it? CHAPMAN: You could be right there MAYOR: Could I? RUDYARD: Told you so CHAPMAN: But you know what could sustain two funeral homes? MAYOR: No? CHAPMAN: A town! MAYOR: A town? You say? RUDYARD: Hmm No! No- CHAPMAN: Now don’t get me wrong, this is a great village but I think it’s going to be an even greater town! And I want to help you do that in the only way I can: with a funeral home. MAYOR: Can I ask you a question? CHAPMAN: Go for it MAYOR: If we had two funeral homes would we need two mayors as well? CHAPMAN: No. That’s ridiculous MAYOR: Oh, excellent in that case I hereby pronounce this funeral home: open! RUDYARD: What? What are they doing there?! CHAPMAN: We’re taking advance orders, it’s just a service we provide. MAYOR: Well, I won’t take up any more of your time. Mr Chapman CHAPMAN: Oh please, Mr Mayor, It’s Eric MAYOR: Best of luck Eric, if you are ever at a loose end, do pop by the hall, sometimes we have movie nights! CHAPMAN: I’ll remember that and if you ever need our services it’s on the house. MAYOR: Tremendous, looking forward to it, now RUDYARD: Now, now hang on, we- MAYOR: Glad to have you here CHAPMAN: Mr Mayor MAYOR: No no no, call me Desmond! Ttfn CHAPMAN: Talk to you later, Desmond MAYOR: Should I leave the doors open? CHAPMAN: Oh, if you would, Rudyard I’m sorry I can’t stay and chat, can I get you anything. Oh I know what, make yourself a cup of coffee, I’ll better see to that queue eh? Enjoy yourself! Don’t forget the truffles! Good morning ladies and gentlemen, well afternoon now. Well, I’m delighted to say welcome to Chapman’s and remember: We put the fun in funerals RUDYARD: Chapman! [narration] After a coffee, and a couple of truffles, Rudyard stormed out, seething with resentment. He kicked a small dog and got bitten by its owner. Having gotten back to Funn Funerals, Rudyard sat down on a chair by the window and stared out across the road muttering out loud to his only real friend in the world RUDYARD: (muttering) It’s only a funeral home who the hell do they think they are eh? (squeaks) RUDYARD: Exactly, I give him a week, alright maybe two.. Ah he might have gold blend and lounge music but you can’t put a glass on the mechanics. We get the body in the coffin in the ground on time, That’s what it's about, I bet his corpses don't smell of cinnamon. Yeah, we’ll see who runs this village. ANTIGONE: Rudyard you’re talking to that mouse again aren’t you? RUDYARD: Her name is Madeleine ANTIGONE: It’s not normal! RUDYARD: Antigone, you spend twenty-three hours a day in the mortuary don’t try to tell me what’s normal. Off you go Madeleine, we’ll continue this later ANTIGONE: You haven’t moved all afternoon! RUDYARD: I don’t need to move, I’m plotting ANTIGONE: Where’s Georgie? RUDYARD: Day off, no work, plotting. ANTIGONE: Rudyard, for the first time in our lives we actually have competition which means we could really do with having some friends so could you get out there and make some? RUDYARD: I’ll do it tomorrow ANTIGONE: Have you at least gone round to check on Mr Ascii RUDYARD: Who? ANTIGONE: Mr Ascii, the man we’ve been waiting to die for six weeks, because so help me I need to embalm somebody and it could quite easily be you RUDYARD: Look Mr Ascii’s immortal, he’ll never die so what’s the point about it. Now Look Here, Georgie? What? Right, I’ll see you there. Mr Ascii’s dead. ANTIGONE: Is he? RUDYARD: Yes. OH MY GOD MR ASCII’S DEAD! ANTIGONE: How?! RUDYARD: Heart attack, half an hour ago it’s all around the village, Antigone, I’m so happy! ANTIGONE: Took him long enough RUDYARD: Ahh He’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead! ANTIGONE: Rudyard! Stop being happy and get over there now! RUDYARD: Sorry, yes, get over there, I’m gone. Rudyard is back in the game! … Rudyard is going to get wet! Have the mortuary ready! ANTIGONE: And Rudyard, don’t cock it up. [narration] Before you judge Rudyard too harshly at his delight at an old man’s demise, I should tell you that Mr Ascii was Rudyard’s old PE teacher at school so his delight is almost entirely justified. Rudyard met Georgie at Mr Ascii’s bijuu residence at five forty-five. GEORGIE: Okay, okay RUDYARD: Georgie GEORIGIE: Sir? RUDYARD: Say it again for me won’t you, say it again GEORGIE: Alright, Mr Ascii’s dead but listen I’ve got- RUDYARD: Yeessssss, Get in there my son… whatever that means GEORGIE: Yeah I ought to say- RUDYARD: I’ve been looking forward to putting him in the ground, can’t mock me for losing the 200 metre dash now can you, Mr Ascii! GEORGIE: Before you get excited RUDYARD: Right yes, got to straighten up, think grave. How do I look? GEORGIE: Miserable RUDYARD: Great, let’s go GEORGIE: But sir, NURSE: Could we please have some quiet out here, oh it’s you, Mister Funn RUDYARD: Good afternoon nurse, Could please take this opportunity to convey my most prevermed(???) condolences NURSE: Thank you Mister Funn RUDYARD: I’m sure my apprentice Ms Crusoe, has already carried out our preliminary duties so I think in the interest of efficiency we should let the dog see the rabbit, if you’ll take me through NURSE: Well, This is actually rather embarrassing RUDYARD: Oh please don’t say it’s a false alarm! NURSE: In a sense,,, yes RUDYARD: Oh for, Georgie you said he was dead GEORGIE: He is dead RUDYARD: But, ugh, Nurse, one of us in this corridor is deeply confused and I’m beginning to believe it might be you NURSE: No? RUDYARD: I knew it, she’s mad, grab her Georgie. NURSE: I’m not mad! RUDYARD: That’s what a mad person would say, Georgie GEORGIE: Let’s do this CHAPMAN: Rudyard! Great to see you RUDYARD: Chapman! CHAPMAN: Busy afternoon, eh, hello Georgie GEORGIE: Hey, Eric RUDYARD: Stop flirting. Nurse, I demand this man be told to vacate this bijuu residence immediately CHAPMAN: Look, this is my bad, and I’ve really got to apologise for this one NURSE: Mr Ascii requested it! RUDYARD: He what? NURSE: With his final words he said he couldn’t bare to get buried by such a feeble little weed as Rudyard Funn CHAPMAN: Interesting man, he wanted to see my gold medals from the 200 metre dash, gotta say I wasn’t expecting business to kick off so quickly NURSE: You’re doing a most proper job Mr Chapman CHAPMAN: Thank you nurse, I think we’ll collect him first thing tomorrow. Anyway must run, good to see you Rudyard, Georgie. Enjoy yourselves! Ahh NURSE: What a charming man, I hear he’s still a bachelor RUDYARD: So am I.. NURSE: Yes well, hardly surprising is it? GEORGIE: Ahh well, can’t win em all eh sir? Sir, are you alright? RUDYARD: I am so… SIX O CLOCK GEORGIE: Six o clock? RUDYARD: Six o clock! The cemetery, Stanley’s widow, Stanley Carmichael’s widow in the cemetery at six o clock! GEORGIE: Oh yeah! I forgot about that! RUDYARD: What time is it? GEORGIE: About five to six but you’ll never get there. Sir?! Oh for god’s sake, Rudyard! Come back here you stupid. [narration] Rudyard raced down the cliff, past the trees and through the streets with speed that would have finally impressed Mr Ascii, had he not already been dead. His lungs aching for breath, his limbs trembling with the effort, Rudyard tumbled into the cemetery at exactly one minute past six. To discover… RUDYARD: It’s…. It’s all REV: Ahh, there you are Rudyard! RUDYARD: Reverend? What’s going on? REV: Well, I arrived to oversee the preliminaries on Mrs Carmichael’s err, transferal to a better world - if such a place exists - which i'm not certain about one way or the other, and I found that her family and friends had been gathered together already for the funeral. RUDYARD: For the funeral? REV: Since the deceased was already here, and sensibly dressed, he just got it done out of the way, young fella named Eric, got his own funeral practise I understand. I’m hearing marvelous things about it. He’s got a coffee machine! Led them all a couple of sing songs actually, even had my speech prepared for me! Very succinct it was, breezed through it all in no time. RUDYARD: Chapman… REV: Oh he also found a lake! Over there! I think we’re all going boating in a minute. He owns a boat you know RUDYARD: Chapman! REV: Anyway, I better get to be going back to it, we’re having jelly and ice cream, bags of fun. Goodbye, Rudyard! Or should I say: Enjoy yourself! RUDYARD: I see. I see. Well CHAPMAN: Hello Rudyard. RUDYARD: Oh. It’s. you. Did a fair job I hear, congratulations, don’t think it will always be like this they won’t hand it to you on a plate you know, they won’t do that. This is very much the exception. Oh what? What? You can talk can’t you? Say something? CHAPMAN: Rudyard. Have a nice evening. RUDYARD: What do you- What do you mean: have a nice evening? What do you mean by that remark, Chapman? What if I don’t want to have a nice evening? Eh? What if I Don’t? Chapman! What did you mean! Chapman! Chapman?! [narration] Today had been the worst day of Rudyard’s life, until tomorrow came along and topped it. I was there to jot it all down from first hand observation (and a little bit of gossip I picked up later) and of course, being his only real friend in the world, Rudyard tells me everything. My name is Madeleine - I’m going to be the first mouse to be a Sunday Times Best Seller, and I know for a fact that Rudyard want to revenge himself on Eric by well, we’ll burn that bridge when be come to it

#season one #s1 ep1 #The bane of Rudyard #wooden overcoats #wooden overcoats transcripts #rudyard funn #antigone funn #georgie crusoe #eric chapman #podcast #podcast transcript

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delbeugre · 4 years ago

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Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen.....

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid...

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat:

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

#yatesintro #/tw implied violence #/tw death mention #/tw drug use #/tw jail mention

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themisadventuresofmomtiri · 4 years ago

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Children of the Cosmos, Chapter 3

Hey, lookie what it is! An update! Finally! You can also read it on Ao3. Enjoy!

There is no lamp to give them light. The only light in the wagon is the irregular pulsing of Varian’s hair, faint and patchy and a far, far cry from its normal vibrancy. Thin threads of gold have started to appear, glowing and fading in uneven flickers. The magic he’d accidentally taken from Rapunzel was shining through, slowly burning him from the inside out.

Her child, her only son, is fading before her very eyes.

Fae should never have children.

“Rowena?”

She looks up, pulled out of her thoughts and grounded back in reality. Quirin is on the other side of the wagon, mere feet from her with only their fading son between them. She can see clearly how the last few days have aged him. Perhaps she shows it just as clearly, despite her immortality. They have many more years to live in the next few minutes, and the only thing standing between Varian and death is how long they’re able to bear it.

She takes a deep breath, offers him a small smile, and straightens her back.

“Hand me a few pieces of quartz and we’ll get started.”

Rapunzel jolted awake, heart pounding and a soundless scream already dying in her throat. Pascal let out a small noise of surprise as her sudden movement caused him to tumble. She glanced around, the lingering terror inciting paranoia until her mind was finally able to process that she was right where she’d been last night: in her sleeping sack, set up around the dying embers of last night’s fire. Kiera and Catalina had cuddled up to her over the course of the night, and both were disturbed by Rapunzel’s sudden awakening.

Catalina slurred out something incomprehensible, and Rapunzel shushed her.

“It’s okay, go back to sleep.”

Neither girl was apparently willing to argue, and Catalina dropped right off without so much as another sound. Kiera snuggled into her sleeping sack, but thankfully fell back asleep. Rapunzel took a deep breath of morning air and carefully shifted into a slightly more comfortable seated position. The world had already started to take on the gray hue of pre-dawn. Everything was quiet and still. Not even the birds had started singing yet.

The nightmare that had woken her was already obscured in her memory, just faint impressions of dread and terror and a blank, all consuming darkness. She’s suffered regular nightmares for nearly a year when she was little, and they’d been so severe that Mom had taken to lacing every scrap of fabric Rapunzel owned with dried lavender and slipping bits of amethyst carved with protective runes into her pillows. Which had done the trick, and over the next year and a half Mom had slowly removed the amethyst pieces and de-laced the lavender until Rapunzel could sleep through the night free of nightmares without magical assistance. Varian had been too young then help her, but she suspected that the reason her nightmares had made themselves scarce was because he was old enough and his magic strong enough to reach out while they slept.

Thinking of Varian brought back the memory of what she’d heard last night. Rapunzel shivered, though the chill of the early morning had nothing to do with it. The wagon was suspiciously still---and suspiciously dark. Not even one of the small lamps was lit, and Rapunzel couldn’t see any sign of Varian’s glow. Something horrid and leaden formed in her stomach; what if something went wrong? Mom had said binding someone’s magic was dangerous, maybe even life-threatening. What if Varian didn’t---

No. No, she wasn’t going to think like that. Varian was going to be fine. Whatever Mom and Dad had done last night, it was going to work and Varian was going recover. Everything was going to go back to normal and in time this whole thing will just be a bad memory.

A creak of wood caught her attention, and Rapunzel looked up to see her father stepping out of the wagon. He looked completely wrecked, as if he hadn’t slept a wink at all last night. Who knows, he probably hadn’t. Rapunzel stood up, mindful of her still-sleeping sisters.

“Dad,” she whispered, hesitant as she wrung her hands.

“He’s okay,” Dad replied, and it was a strange mix of dread and relief that washed over her. “The fever just broke, and both he and your mother are resting.”

She navigated out of the sleeping pile, steps becoming quicker the second she was clear of her sisters. “Did you have to…is he?”

Dad’s shoulders dropped as he took a deep breath. “We had to bind his magic, yes. He pulled through, thank god.”

“It’s not…permanent, is it?”

Dad hesitated, as if the answer was something he had to decide Rapunzel had a right to know.

“No binding is permanent, Rapunzel. But…they can be difficult to undo. And sometimes even more dangerous then.”

“So it might as well be?”

Dad sighed. “That’s not what I’m saying. Your mother and I plan to undo the binding once Varian is strong enough to handle it. The only sticking point is that we need a certain couple of tools to make sure the resulting surge of power doesn’t end up hurting him. The Moon’s never done things by halves.”

“What do you need?”

“Let your mother and I worry about that,” he advised, resting a hand on her shoulder and offering her a small smile that was meant to reassure. “For now, let’s focus on getting ready for the day. I doubt either Varian or Rowena will be awake for breakfast, but they may be hungry come lunch.”

“Da’,” a sleepy voice broke through the morning air. They turned to see Catalina and Kiera in the process of waking up, blinking and rubbing the sleep from their eyes.

“’s’som’in’wron’,” Kiera asked before a yawn split her face.

“Varian’s fever broke over the night,” Dad announced, and after a second, both girls were suddenly wide awake.

“Does that mean he’s gonna be okay,” Catalina asked, already jumping up from her sleeping sack and running over to them, Kiera hot on her heels.

“With some rest, yes.”

“Can we see him,�� Kiera asked.

“When he wakes up, if your mother agrees,” he replied. “For now, let’s do her a favor and get the morning chores handled.”

Not even Kiera groaned at the idea of doing chores; ordinarily, she tended to do everything she possibly could to weasel her way out of them. Catalina didn’t seem to mind the work much, and Rapunzel honestly just loved any excuse to be active in some way. Varian was the only one who could convince Kiera to do her chores without complaining, and that was because he hated doing them, too. Any chores involving Philippa, the absolutely massive draft horse who had been pulling their wagon for as long as Rapunzel could remember, were his least favorite. Varian swore up and down the mare had it out for him, though Philippa had never done anything more than some teasing nips and a few well-timed swats to the face with her tail.

Rapunzel never thought she’d ever want to hear them complaining about scrubbing the wagon’s floorboards, or picking up the dungpiles left by Phillippa so Dad could sell them to farmers as fertilizer as badly as she did now. Anything resembling normal would be a blessing.

The fact that Varian’s fever had finally broken had drastically improved Catalina and Kiera’s attitude, even though they didn’t know about the binding. Throughout the morning, they chattered about pretty much anything and nothing at all, making stupid jokes and actually laughing again. And, true to his word,the sun was already high in the sky by the time the wagon’s door creaked open. Mom only looked marginally less wrecked than Dad had, though her usual bun was an absolute disaster the likes of which Rapunzel had never seen.

“Mom,” Kiera shouted, scrambling up to her feet from where she’d been sitting while helping Dad untangle a particularly knotted section of fishing line. “Is Varian awake? Can we see ‘im?”

Rowena chuckled as Kiera all but slammed into her, managing to mitigated the worst of the collision. “Good morning to you, too, darling.”

“Dad said he’s gonna be okay, so can we see him?”

“He’s still asleep, cygnet,” Rowena replied. “Your poor brother had a rough go of things last night; he needs to rest.”

Kiera stamped a foot and huffed in frustration, but didn’t utter any more complaints. After the momentary frustration faded, Kiera bit her lip.

“He…he really is gonna be okay, right?”

Rowena sighed, a knowing smile on her face. “Yes, sweetheart. His fever’s broken, and his breathing is almost entirely back to normal.”

“Did you have to do that binding thing?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she replied after a beat, guiding Kiera back to the campfire. “Took every ounce of quartz at my disposal, admittedly, but that was expected.

“So Varian can’t do magic anymore,” Catalina asked

“Not until we’re able to reverse the binding.”

“How long’s that gonna take?”

Rowena exhaled, sharing a look with Quirin. A look Rapunzel didn’t like one bit. Anytime that particular look came around, it always meant something bad. Or, at the very least, something they weren’t going to like much. The last time she’d seen that look, they spent three months in a magical museum/archive with a high-strung archivist who apparently owed Mom an awful lot while Mom and Dad had been busy negotiating a series of purchases and trades with people they apparently deemed too dangerous to risk bringing their kids along. Calliope had been an…interesting babysitter. And maybe Rapunzel could have made the whole ordeal a little easier on her, but she’d been fourteen and totally convinced that she didn’t need a babysitter.

“With some rest, Varian should be back to full health in a few weeks,” Rowena began, the ‘but’ heavy in her tone.

“But…?”

“But, in order to undo the binding without hurting him, your father and I are going to need a couple of items we don’t have right now.”

“So where do we find ‘em,” Kiera asked.

“We, as in your father and I, will be locating them,” Rowena replied. “You four will be staying with the innkeeper and his wife while we’re gone.”

“What?!”

“This is not a matter which is up for discussion,” she added, both her tone and her expression offering no room for debate. “These items are dangerous to get a hold of, and I refuse to place you four in harm’s way if there is another option.”

“But we wanna help,” Kiera retorted.

“You can help by staying together and keeping an eye on Varian,” Quirin cut in. “This will only take a few weeks, if all goes well.”

“And if it doesn’t,” Catalina asked. “You said it’ll be dangerous…”

“We’ll manage,” he assured her, gently ruffling Catalina’s hair. “Just as we always have.”

Kiera slumped back into her seat, arms folded across her chest and the absolute picture of petulance. She’d been part of the family long enough to know when she’d been beat.

“Where will you guys be going, then,” Rapunzel asked.

The pair shared a look before Quirin replied.

“Rowena will be traveling to the Unknown, and I’ll be making the trek back to the ruins of Lumeria.”

“Wait, you’re not sticking together?”

Quirin shrugged. “Rowena is the only one who can reach the Unknown. I don’t have any Fae blood; the gates would never open for me.”

“And I’m sure Hector has yet to abandon the ruins,” Rowena added. “He might let Quirin explain before attacking; me, he’d fight immediately on principle.”

“Hector,” Catalina asked, tilting her head in confusion.

“Another former member of the Brotherhood,” Quirin explained. “We trained together when we were young.”

“How come we’ve never met ‘im,” Kiera asked.

“Because his vows to Lumeria were poorly worded, and as a result he’s been unable to tear himself away from the old kingdom,” Rowena replied. “There’s a reason I’ve always warned you four to be mindful of your words. Fae can’t break their promises.”

“Why would a friend of Dad’s fight you on principle,” Rapunzel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Mom?”

The weak, but so very familiar, voice cut off any response Rowena might have otherwise given, and every head turned to see Varian, shaky but standing in the doorway of the wagon. Rapunzel inhaled sharply; while Varian certainly looked like he was on the mend from a serious illness, it was immediately obvious what exactly had to be done in order to get him there. His hair was no longer moon-white, the strands now a stark black save for the streak of teal that replaced the former moon-gray shade. He still looked pale and sickly, but he looked…more human? Like every trace of magic he’d had since birth had been systematically removed from every fibre of his body. He almost looked like a completely different person.

Catalina had reacted a bit louder, her gasp sharp and audible and followed by the sound of her hands covering her mouth in shock. Kiera’s reaction was even less subtle.

“Why is his hair black?”

“M’ hair’s wha’,” Varian asked, rubbing at his eyes.

Rowena helped him down from the wagon, and Varian leaned into her as she guided him over to the fire.

“A side-effect of the binding,” Quirin explained, grabbing a spare blanket from the laundry and draping it over Varian’s shoulders.

He took a seat next to his son, and Varian leaned into him, shivering under the blanket despite the growing heat of the day. Ruddiger perched himself next to Varian, offering sympathetic pats to the boy’s arm. Catalina got up from her seat and made her way across the circle, sitting down on the other side of her brother. She hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder.

“How are you feeling, Varian?”

“Better,” he admitted. “A lot weaker than normal, though.”

“Your fever broke last night, thankfully,” Quirin added, pressing the back of his hand to Varian’s forehead as if he wasn’t entirely certain the fever hadn’t re-asserted itself. “But between the illness and the absence of your magic, I’m not surprised you’ve noticed some weakness. You should still be in bed.”

“I’ve been in bed for over a week, Dad,” he protested. “And isn’t fresh air supposed to help people get better?”

Quirin glanced over at his wife, who merely shrugged. He sighed.

“I expect you to listen to Uriah and Hermione while your mother and I are away. No sneaking out of bed, no matter how well you feel.”

Varian blinked, looking up at his father. “You and Mom are leaving? Why?”

“We need a few things to undo the binding once you’re well enough,” Rowena explained. “It will only take a few weeks at the most, by which time you should be recovered enough to handle it.”

“Oh. When are you leaving?”

“Either tomorrow or the day after, depending on how well you are to make to the trip to the inn.”

“Do we really need a babysitter,” he whined. “Can’t we just stay here and promise to listen to Rapunzel?”

Quirin chuckled. “It wouldn’t be fair to put all of the responsibility on your sister’s shoulders. Besides, you four will be safer at the inn than on your own. Bandits and highwaymen are becoming more active the warmer the weather gets. It’s for our own peace of mind as much as it is for your safety.”

“Then won’t you and Mom be in danger, too,” Kiera asked.

“Your father and I can handle ourselves,” Rowena assured her, taking a seat next to Kiera and giving her a small side hug.

“So can we!”

“Ordinarily I’d agree, but your brother needs to rest. Better safe than sorry.”

Kiera huffed, but didn’t issue any more protests. At least at the inn, they’d be more or less left to their own devices so long as they didn’t bother any of the patrons. It would be a few weeks of being bored out of their minds while their parents went on their epic quests. How bad could it really be?

#tangled siblings au #children of the cosmos #rta rapunzel #rta varian #moon varian

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pinkykitten · 5 years ago

Text

The time in Summervale: 2

Warning: none

Specifics: y/n=your name, oc, oc fic, comedy, fluff, angst

People: athela (your mother), edward (your father), ruthy (maid), jakob (duke of linwyn), christopher (prince of linwyn)

Words: 3,560

Summary: In the fictional land of Summervale, 1700, you, the Duchess are made into an arranged marriage.This is the dream of your parents but certainty not the dream of a longing inventor like yourself. You are taught to be a lady but who wants to be a primp and proper lady when you can have fun and be yourself. You need to try to convince your parents this is not what you want or is it? How will it be seeing the Prince of Linwyn? Will you finally change your mind and side with your parents?

Authors Note: sorry if i havent posted in a while or posted this in a while ive just been very busy but im glad i found the time to write this cuz this is like my bby. i worked hard on this idea and the writing. i love how this is going the pace and everything lol this reminds me of the choice game. i hope u guys like this and im sorry if this sucks as always i got my inspiration from this story “the austrian suitor” by @headoverhiddles

“Come again I think I misheard you.” You gulped as you wish this was a nightmare and soon you would wake up.

“I think you heard me right. Today you are meeting your future husband. Prince Jakob, Duke of Linwyn. You met him before.”

“When? Wait that doesn’t even matter-”

“When you were about six years of age. I understand that was when you were a very young girl but you and him played for ages and you both looked so lovely together. This has been my dream ever since that day.”

“It may be your dream but not mine,” you muttered under your breath.

“Oh well please do speak up y/n you know I hate the mumbling.”

“I don’t even remember him! You never even asked me if this is what I wanted. Never got my input on the matter.”

“That is where you are wrong. I did too ask you. A few months ago during dinner I had asked you about him and you seemed to agree to the marriage.”

“Blast my stupid mind. Why must I always day dream?” You probably were thinking about inventions at the time of this conversation and did not remember it.

“Besides it is not your decision whether you marry or not and to whom you marry. It is your parents. That is how me and your father came together. It was an arranged marriage but as you can see me and your father are very happy and we love each other.”

“You two were the lucky ones. I know how this ends mother, and it is heart ache and despair. It is pain and sorrow. To put two people together that know nothing about each other is wrong. It will end in failure.”

“That is why your job as a woman and future wife is to make sure this marriage stays in place and lasts. You do what it takes.”

“So if this marriage fails it is my fault? And the whole world sees it that way?” You were flabbergasted to hear such horrid rules as a woman in royalty.

“Please sit my dear.” You did as your mother said and sat back in your vanity chair. “I know you are frightened as I was too but when you meet him you are going to never be apart. He is a good man and I know he is going to love you unconditionally.”

You felt like weeping right there. You didn’t want a husband. Maybe later but not in the prime of your life. You were still deciding on what purpose do you have in this life. It was too much. Your lips quivered, “mother I don’t want to get married. I do not know this person can’t you understand my side and let me choose who I want. Can’t you wait and let it be my decision. Please.”

Athela kissed your cheek, “I’m sorry but what’s done cannot be undone. He will be here any minute so please get ready. Ruthy make sure you cover those scars on her face, they are very ugly. Y/n, why have you not been using the creams I have given you?”

A tear fell down your cheek, you felt miserable. “I am not sure mother.” Your voice came out almost like a whisper.

“Well make sure you use it 3 times a day now that Prince Jakob is coming, we do not want him running away now.” She chuckled as she left your room.

You were used to this treatment and feeling unloved. You kept things bottled up inside never letting it spill. Your emotions were always hidden. You built a dam for your tears.

“My apologies your grace,” Ruthy said.

“I tried my hardest and did not succeed. That will forever be my greatest regret.” You stared at your reflection, hating what you saw. You were starting to feel disgust when you looked at your scars and bumps that littered your face. Not only that but you were hating what you were. You were being forced into something you did not want to do. You were letting yourself be dragged into this mess and you didn’t even put up a fight. This is your life, you were going to be stuck with a stranger for the rest of your life and there was nothing you could do. You - like many other times - hated your name and the royalty and wished it would all disappear.

“Why don’t I run you a bath? Maybe that will relax you a little,” Ruthy suggested.

As she was finished with that you got undressed and stepped inside. Goosebumps ghosted up your thighs, your stomach, breasts and arms. Even though you did enjoy a good bath it still didn’t make things any better. You sank yourself into the water, forgetting - just for a second - about all your worries. Ruthy washed out your hair and assisted you in getting dried. Again you sat on the vanity chair and Ruthy put powder all over your face adding extra to make sure everything was covered like your mother said. Your skin looked flawless and although you wished you looked like that it was not the truth.

“Now what to do with this hair?” Ruthy thought for a moment then snapped her fingers. “I have just the thing.” She brought back a diamond clip to scrunch up your hair. She put your hair up. Trying to cover the fact that a piece of your hair was shorter than the rest. “There we go. Good as new.”

“It looks beautiful Ruthy. Thank you.” You had wished Ruthy was doing your hair for maybe a cake ball or a convention about flowers but instead this was for meeting your future husband.

“Now, this is the dress her royal highness wanted you to wear.” Ruthy picked up a voluptuous dress that laid on your bed. It was silky and the color of baby pink. To your mother it was angelic, to you it was ghastly.

“Oh dear what an ugly looking dress.”

“Your Grace, maybe you should give it a try. Everything on you looks beautiful even if it is ugly.”

“Thank you Ruthy, you always know what to say about a terrible situation.” With the help of Ruthy you managed to slip the dress on. Everything was tight and in place. It looked as if you were to be married today.

You heard trotting of a horse and carriage nearby and you looked out your window. “Here they are.” You said in a monotone voice not even a little excited about your demise.

“Oh alright now remember your Grace to stand straight with your head held high! This is your moment to shine. You are going to remember this for the rest of your days!” Ruthy panicked but you can tell she was ecstatic for you. It seemed like this was for her rather than you. “Let us go!”

Ruthy walked out the room in a haste while you paused to take a look at your mixer on your desk. “You could of been my ticket out...”

“Y/n! Y/n! Where are you?” Edward, your father called out. His head looking every which way.

“I’m here father.” You walked behind Ruthy to finally greet your parents after the morning fiasco.

“Look at you my dear angel. How is your hair?”

“Well the mixer took one piece away but the rest is there.”

“Oh look at her Edward doesn’t she just look like a gem,” your mother gasped in awe. “I knew this dress would be perfect for this occasion.”

“I am very happy you all are having fun,” you said sarcastically.

“Aw cheer up dear,” Edward rubbed your cheek. “I hear this lad is very smart and a charmer. All the ladies fall for him.”

You rolled your eyes as the servants opened the door to your residence. It moved slowly because of its length. It was an enormous door that when closed sounded like thunder. It was a cream color with gold engraved in it. The large door opened and your parents walked with you in the middle.

“Smile or else,” Athela gritted through her teeth. She along with your father wore big smiles. You faked yours. Seeing the norm in this facade.

You all stood by the carriage awaiting.

“Are they ever going to come out?” You whispered in turn getting a slap on your arm from your mother.

The valet hopped out of the carriage and held onto the door but first he had to announce them. “Prince Jakob, Duke of Linwyn.” The valet opened the door and out came a tall, young man with brown hair. He came out of the carriage, buttoned his coat and looked up into your eyes. His eyes were light and looked so young and full of life. His lips were full as they formed into a smile. He had these boyish charms and a look of innocence yet sexuality. He was handsome! You were a bit taken back.

“See I told you he was cute,” Athela chuckled.

“Christopher Friss, Prince of Linwyn.”

“His father? I did not know his father was coming here too.”

“Of course. He needs to see if you are a good match for his son. Besides we have been friends with him forever.” Athela nodded her head forward.

Out came this taller man that was thicker in size. His hand that grasped onto the size of the carriage was big and had veins that were visible from working hard. His clothing style was impeccable. His hair was a light blonde but also with a hint of salt and pepper colors, slicked back and in a pony tail. His neck was thick like bark and his face was obviously older than his son. His strong, brown eyes looked at you and you were blown away. You could barely breathe and you didn’t know if this was from your corset or how he was looking at you. Your eyes widened and your lips were parted. You were bashful at seeing how handsome this man was. In that moment you wondered what his lips would feel like since you never kissed any one before. You were so innocent compared to him. He looked like he had been through war, he’s been through life, through the challenges. His tall body loomed over his son and the rest. You pushed back your hair as it became very hot in that moment. The Prince smiled as well. It was like floating on a cloud but then reality was setting in and you hated this moment. Your smile died and became a frown. In no way did you want this!

“Welcome, welcome old friends! You remember me and my wife?” Edward pointed to his wife. Jakob and Christopher greeted Athela. “And here is my daughter, Princess y/n, Duchess of Summervale.”

You took a step forward. “Hello your Grace, your Royal Highness. Please forgive me that I do not remember a lot of you two, but I hope we can make fond memories here.”

Jakob took a bow and kissed your hand, “pleasure to meet you after so long.”

“Welcome.”

Next came Christopher, the father. He was a tower compared to you. You had to look up to meet his eyes. Christopher took a bow and kissed your hand. It sent sparks coursing through your veins. He looked like a beast amongst you. You on the other hand looked like a little, fragile bird. You curtsied. “My, you have grown y/n.”

“Hopefully better but who knows,” you giggled at your own joke knowing you were much more prettier in the youth than now.

Christopher smiled, “you have grown into a beautiful young lady. Thank you for letting us into your home.”

You bit your lip as your eyes met the floor, too shy to greet his. He noticed this and his smile grew wider to something sincere.

“It is a great honor to have you here, Sir,” your voice sounded like a song to Christopher’s ears. A spark was sent off within him as well hearing you call him sir. It was your duty and his title but coming from you meant more to him. The time away from your mother and father was getting to become too long and the quiet seconds went away silent and very awkward.

“Y/n?” Your mother, Athela, called.

“Yes mother,” you twirled back to your place beside your two strict parents.

“Sweetheart,” Athela’s eyes kept going back and forth between Christopher’s, Jakob’s, and Edward’s. “Address our guests.”

Your father, Edward, grumbled, “yes, yes, yes. Please let us have lunch in the dining room.”

“We would gladly love that,” Jakob grinned whilst looking at you.

Athela made you stand by Jakob so you two lingered behind the group while the ‘adults’ talked.

“My, it really is a great pleasure to meet you after all these years.”

“Please Jakob my name is not my its y/n. Do remember who you are going to have lunch with,” you joked. Sending him into a fit of laughter.

“You have not changed one bit.”

“Sh*t! Do I still look like a 5 year old?”

Jakob’s eyes widened with you cursing. It was not in a duchess nature to curse.

“Please do not tell my mother, she would practically kill me.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

What you didn’t notice though was the way Christopher lit up with hearing you curse.

“I’m glad we have many days to be together. I want to know all about you.” Jakob played nervously with his fingers.

“I do not think so.”

“Of course I do. I want to know your hobbies. What makes you smile? What’s your favorite book? I want to know everything about you, I mean you are to be my wife. We should know our deepest, darkest secrets.”

“Oh dear you are not going to be amused with my answers. I am really normal and plain once you scrub off the whole duchess thing.” You passed the huge statue of your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, phew. Passed the many, wide stairs that led to all the different types of rooms. Passed by the ginormous chandelier that looked like you grasped onto stars from the sky and planted them in your house. And walked onto the soft, dark red carpet leading into the dining room.

Jakob sat beside you while Christopher sat in front of you and your mother sat beside you while your father sat beside Christopher. He gave you a half smile as you sat. You were too busy looking at his perfect, handsome complexion you knocked the cup of water that was left for you. The coldness dripped down your dress and soaked it. You tried your napkin but it was soaked as well. Athela rolled her eyes at your clumsiness. You were terribly embarrassed!

“Here let me help you with that,” Jakob picked up your drenched napkin and started dabbing away at your dress. No one has touched you there before. Your face was becoming hot. You looked to see Christopher walking to the situation, angrily snatching the wet napkin from his son and giving you his dry, napkin.

“What was that about? I was only trying to help.”

Christopher glared at his son and with a low voice said, “you don’t ever touch her like that without her permission. She is a lady, you show her respect.”

You kept quiet and pretended you didn’t hear a thing. “Thank you,” you whispered to both men. Christopher handed you sweetly his cup of water.

“I am very sorry, your Royal Highness.” Edward said. “My daughter is very clumsy. Why this morning she was trying to-”

“Bread!” You yelled.

Everyone looked at you oddly but you were trying to dodge the morning fiasco.

People were eating, talking, getting down to business but all you wanted to do was think of a new invention. There has to be something out there that you could invent that could change someone’s life.

“Sweetheart, sweetheart,” Athela snapped her fingers to disrupt your day dreaming. “Tell them that one time you matched your best friend and that handsome very tall prince together. You were a match maker.”

“That was only one time mother. They were all over each other even before I suggested the thought of them being together.”

“But you still purposed it. Our daughter loves that stuff. Loves love and romance and marriage.”

You felt like shouting and disagreeing with your mother but what was done was done. You didn’t understand love since you didn’t truly feel it and you for one did not want to get married.

“Don’t you dear?”

You nodded as you played with your food.

“Tell them what you like, my love,” Athela tapped your shoulder.

With excitement running through your veins you almost squealed at that question, “oh where do I start! I love inven-”

Athela stomped on your toes and frowned at you. She hated when you talked about your love for inventing. She thought it was a waste of time and very unattractive.

Christopher looked worried as he knitted his brows.

“I love...makeup and beauty. My hobbies are shopping and buying,” you said with a drag.

“Oh my dear y/n you are just a doll,” Athela tapped your chin to sit up straight so as not to have a double chin.

“Jakob why don’t you tell duchess y/n about your love for traveling?” Christopher said while dabbing his mouth.

Jakob sipped his tea, “yes, indeed. My hobbies are traveling. I love going to different places, its like going to new worlds. Its so unique and inspiring others cultures.”

Your eyes lit up hearing his adventurous life style, wishing it was you. “Really? I never knew this. Where have you been?”

“I’ve been to Africa, China and many more. Every place I’ve been to has been so beautiful.”

“Wow.” You leaned your head against your palm. “What a life. I wish I could go.”

“Oh don’t be silly dear those places are so far away from here why would you want to leave?” Your mother wiped her mouth like a lady.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take you one day,” Jakob whispered as he winked.

“And what about you, Sir. What do you like to do?” You raised your brow, asking Christopher.

“Me? I did not know you would be interested to know about an old man like me.”

“I want to know the most about both of you. You are our guest.”

“Well I enjoy books. I have a whole collection of books in my library.”

“Wait? You have a library? How big?” You were like a child in a candy shop.

“Bigger than a ship,” Christopher motioned closer to you.

“Oh my. Who is your favorite author?”

“Terry P. Whilliams, he wrote-”

“The Way of the World. I enjoyed the book so much and he is one of my favorite authors. He is just so-”

“Real.”

“And very truthful.” You clutched your dress.

“He wrote that passage that said how the sun and moon cannot live without each other. Without the sun there is no light, no morning. Without the moon there is no darkness, no night. He compared humans to that. Humans cannot live without each other. Humans love.”

You held your breath. Yes you read the passage but hearing it come out of his mouth made it so much more dramatic and moving. “Yes, I do remember that.”

Jakob scoffed, “boring! Sorry my father is such a bore.”

“Oh no he is very not that. I am a reader as well. I love reading about everything.”

“Remember what I told you,” Athela gritted through her teeth.

Christopher saw that and saw how sad your whole demeanor became. Your smile faded as well as your enthusiasm and you pardoned yourself quietly.

“I am excited for today’s masquerade ball. I haven’t been to one in a while and I feel as if I do need to let off some steam and enjoy the ambiance of,” Jakob inhaled, “my people.”

He was a party animal. Liked the setting, drinking, the ladies why of course, that was every young, single, mans dream and happy place. To you though it made you less attracted to him. You were an outsider, anti-social. Somebody who chose the comforts of her sad, pampered room rather than dance the night away with people who didn’t care about her.

“I’m glad, my dear.” Athela ate a piece of her salad. “You deserve it. Besides it is for you and y/n.”

“May I ask who will be attending?”

“A couple of y/n’s friends. Jamila-”

“Jamila will be going?” You asked.

Your mother nodded.

You wanted to shoot up from your seat. Jamila Hassan, Princess of Saad. She was your best friend. She was the only person you felt that understood you. She was like a sister to you.

“And also Lilo, Meera-”

You groaned hearing Meera. She was royal, snotty and spoiled. She loathed your guts. She was a hypocrite, and a liar. She was a terrible person. “Why mother-” You said no more when your mother glared at you again for what felt like the 50th time that evening. This ball was going to be way harder than you ever imagined.

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @reginalinettis

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acemeaskipper · 5 years ago

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okay this is so much longer than I thought it’d be, but okay. i started thinking of this au where instead of joining red dwarf to get back to earth, Lister joins to get away from earth and all the bad memories there. He works a little harder, understands Rimmer a bit more, and unfortunately, doesn’t have Frankenstein.

and this is a little fic about Lister’s first day on red dwarf and his meeting with Rimmer. It’s lowkey shippy, but only a little. Yeah, enjoy.

A star exploded the day Lister left earth. The supernova had reflected multicoloured on the inside walls of Red Dwarf, nearly blinding him.

He wasn’t sure if it was a sign of some sort, but regardless, it had been an interesting way to start his new job. More interesting than his room at least.

It was both bigger and smaller than he thought it’d be, and painfully plain. If only they were allowed to paint the walls, or get a nice rug or carpet, Lister mused, then it may look a little less like a sci-fi hell. Oh well, he was sure if he covered the walls in enough photos and posters it could look a little bit more like home. It wasn’t as if he was going to be here long anyway, he could handle a boring room.

He tightened his grip on his suitcase, shifted the strap of his backpack a little then walked in.

“Hello, Dave. You like the room?”

“Agh!”

Lister jumped and spun around to the source of the voice. The face of a tired-looking man on a screen. Ah, right. The AI, Holly. He briefly wondered why they had decided to make their AI look so exhausted, but shrugged the thought away. People were weird, what the hell.

“Uh, hi. Holly, righ’?”

“That’s right, my dude. So?”

“It’s alrigh’,” Lister shrugged, “I guess.”

“Bit boring, ain’t it?” Holly agreed.

“Yeah, it is. Is it at least warm?”

“Sometimes.”

“Great, great…”

“Oh, and heads up, your roommate is coming soon. Good luck.”

“Uh, thanks?”

“Don’t mention it,” Holly nodded, “Catch you later, dude.”

“Yeah…”

Holly disappeared, and Dave couldn’t help but snicker. Dude? They hadn’t mentioned that about Holly in the leaflet. Maybe it was intentional, a strange surprise for new workers. He supposed that was one way to prepare people for the weirdness of space, having the AI who looked like a middle-aged man going around say ‘dude’.

He shook his head and moved closer to the bunk beds, looking them over.

It was honestly hard to tell which one was already occupied, both beds were both neat, tidy and lacking in any personality whatsoever. There was one colourful timetable stuck on the wall next to the bottom bunk, however, and Lister concluded it was probably taken.

It seemed strange how bare the walls were, though. No pictures of family or friends, no posters, no nothing. Had this person only just moved in too? No, he knew for a fact this person had already been here a year or two at least. And gone through six roommates in the span of three months. A slightly daunting fact, but hopefully, the number would stay at six.

He slung his bags onto the top bunk, decided to unpack them later… maybe. The week was young after all, he’d have plenty of time to do that later.

Lister sat down on one of the chairs in the room and took a deep breath. Hardly nothing had happened, and already he was exhausted. His eyes ached, his limbs felt heavy, and he let out a yawn. A nap would be nice… but snoring probably wasn’t the best way to introduce yourself to your new roommate, so Lister held off.

He ran his fingers over his hair and tried to think of something to keep himself away. Maybe he should go back to dreadlocks, he thought, that’d been fun back when he was a teen. But. But he didn’t have anyone to help him with them anymore.

He’d left them all behind, just like they had left him.

Of course, he was alive when they had left, and they were all just bones now. So maybe it wasn’t a fair comparison… Lister hoped his friend Camille would remember to put flowers on all the graves every month, just like he’d asked. They probably wouldn’t, always too caught up in the drama that was their Casablanca-love affair to think of much else, but he could hope.

Lister sighed and slouched in his chair. Nah, his hair was fine as it was. Loose and tied back. He looked fine. Fine.

Then, the door opened.

The person on the other side didn’t walk in immediately, too busy snapping at someone Lister couldn’t see, to notice the door had opened.

A tall, skinny white guy with pale skin, and light brown curls that had been clearly forced into a flat and dull style. Every inch of his body screamed ‘tense’ as he barked insults, face going ever so slightly red.

Ah, what luck.

Lister stood up and waited until the yelling had stopped to speak.

“You’re Howie’s brother, aren’t you?”

The guy’s snapped in Lister’s direction, and Lister had the urge to apologise and slowly back away.

“’Howie’? The man repeated.

Yep, that was definitely him, Lister knew. He’d only met one other person before with such an obnoxiously posh voice, which he had been told was common on that planet.

“Sorry, Howard,” Lister apologised, “You’re Arnold Rimmer, right?”

Rimmer frowned even more.

“Yes, I am.”

Lister walked towards him, and with a big smile, held out his hand.

“I’m David Lister.”

“Oh.”

Rimmer’s frown dropped into something less ‘I will fucking kill you’ and more ‘ew, there’s a dead bug in my drink’. He did shake Lister’s hand at least.

“Howard’s told us about you,” Rimmer continued, “Poor little orphan boy from earth somehow manages to get into Io’s Space Corps training program on a scholarship, truly a success story for the ages.”

Lister twisted his lip but said nothing. Howard had warned him that his little brother could put a lemon to shame with how bitter he was, but Lister had been hoping Rimmer wouldn’t be this bad from the get-go.

“Doesn’t really mean anything though,” Lister shrugged, “Now tha’ I’m here, as a third blood technician.”

Was it too much to ask that he was at least made a second technician with all his qualifications? Maybe he was just being prideful, but he’d thought he enough skills to be more than a vending machine fixer.

But at that, Rimmer pulled himself to stand straighter and smiled. He looked a lot better now, Lister mused. Almost handsome.

“Third technician, aye? Well, don’t you worry, miladdo-”

“Mi-whatto?”

“-you’re in good hands with me.”

“Huh?”

“If you’re a third technician and my roommate, you’re likely to be working the Z Shift with me, as your immediate superior officer,” Rimmer explained.

Lister gave what he hoped looked like a real smile.

“Great.”

“Still though, I don’t see why on Io you would leave the Space Corps,” Rimmer mused.

“Because it’s filled with pompous, trust-fund pricks who like to spend their evenings bragging about how big their guns are.”

Also, it was a lot of work. A lot of hard work. A month in and Lister had already been ready to drop. He wasn’t too surprised when a drunk Howard had blabbed about the high suicide rate there.

Rimmer let out a sharp laugh at that, then quickly shut his mouth and blinked. He almost looked surprised. But he quickly shook his head and moved on.

“Yes, but it’s the Space Corps! It’s where you go if you want a career in space!”

“I don’t want a career; I just want to get away from Earth.”

Earth was a place were babies were abandoned under pub tables, were parents disappeared and left you a crying kid, and grans died just when you needed them most. Where people broke your heart and laughed, where people called you stupid and said you’d never amount to anything, so suck it up, buttercup.

Rimmer pursed his lips.

“I supposed I could understand wanting to get away from that horrid little planet, but really… giving up a job on the Space Corps for this?”

Lister shrugged.

“I just want to get some cash, find a nice planet with a nice beach, then settle down. Maybe open a farm, get a cat, sheep, horses, then spend the rest of my days doing whatever the hell I want.”

Rimmer didn’t seem to get it.

“But you could have been an officer! Howard said so, and he’s not one to give out praise like that.”

“Why’d you want to be an officer? They’re all smegheads, I mean, just look at your brothers.”

That earned another out of Rimmer, one that wasn’t as sharp and lasted a little longer. There, that was better, Lister grinned. Not the prettiest laugh ever, but he didn’t sound half bad.

“Fair point,” Rimmer said.

And before he could continue with ‘but still’, Lister began speaking again.

“The though’ of ending up like Howard could put anyone off wanting to be an officer, honestly.”

“Really? You didn’t like him? He seemed awfully fond of you…”

“Hid it,” Lister shrugged, “He was my tutor and said he’d help me get here, so couldn’t bitch about him too much. Wanted to though, I never had any free time thanks to ‘im. Almost every night I had to drag him out of the bar and to ‘is room.”

“What?!” Rimmer exclaimed.

“Yeah, don’t think he had any friends, so he’d bribe me into fetching ‘im. Used to buy cigarettes off me too. Dunno why he wouldn’ jus’ buy them himself, a lot of other officers smoked too…”

Slowly, a giant (slightly mad-looking) smile grew on Rimmer’s face.

“Really? He told mother he had a ton of friends.”

Lister wondered if he should mention it. On the one hand, it could lead to Rimmer freaking out (Howard had mentioned that Rimmer was a bit… neurotic), but on the other… it didn’t seem right not to mention it.

“Must be invisible then, ‘cause he was always alone when he went out… he told me a lot about you when he was drunk. The things him and the other two used to do to you.”

The smile dropped off Rimmer’s face.

“Oh.”

Lister risked it and gave Rimmer a pat on the arm. Rimmer looked at it like it was a radioactive butterfly; strange and possibly dangerous.

“Pretty shit childhood, huh?” Lister said. Rimmer stayed silent. “Mine was pretty fucked up too, so we match.”

Lister gave him a smile, then turned around to climb up onto his bunk bed.

Rimmer seemingly forgot to act like a human being for a few seconds, staring blankly into space while stood completely still. He shook it off a second later.

“No shoes on the bed,” he snapped.

“My feet aren’t on the bed though,” Lister pointed out.

Rimmer’s face went a little red.

“I- just take them off!”

“Okay, okay! They’re off!”

Lister kicked them off, leaving them to fall down loudly in a muddy pile next to the ladder. Rimmer frowned and glared at the shoes.

“And now you’ve made a mess, wonderful.”

“You better get used to tha’, I’m a bit of a slob,” Lister chuckled, “Oh, and I snore too. Sorry. I do have a sleep cpap machine, but it got broke on the way here. They said I’ll have to wait a day or two for a new one.”

“So, I’m not getting any sleep either, splendid.”

“I can’ help it.”

“Why don’t they put people like you in a room of your own? Or at least with other snoring smegheads,” Rimmer muttered.

“Because tha’d be smart,” Lister snorted.

Rimmer looked a little happier. Right, compliments were the way to go if he wanted to survive this job. Lister could handle that; he could be a good suck-up if the situation called for it.

“Sounds like they could do with someone like you as an officer,” Lister said, “Might come up with some actual smart ideas.”

Rimmer lit up like the supernova and Lister’s heart fluttered a little.

Oh.

Handsome. Rimmer could be very handsome, it seemed. That was nice. Lister sent him back a lazy grin, revelling in the soft pink that settled on Rimmer’s cheeks. It’d been a while since he’d dated a man, Lister noted, maybe it was time to try again.

“I-I-,” Rimmer began. But then he stopped and shook his head. “Are you sure you’re even old enough to be here?”

Lister rolled his eyes.

“Course I am, man. Not like I could really trick anyone into thinkin’ I’m older than I am with this face, can I?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Rimmer agreed.

Lister wondered why Rimmer would care about his age- oh.

Rimmer coughed and looked away.

“Well, um, have you been given a tour of the ship yet?”

He had.

“No.”

Rimmer turned back around and smirked a little.

“Come on then, get your boots back on and I’ll show you around.”

“Oh, thanks, man.”

Lister grinned and hoped down. As he put his boots on, he could feel Rimmer’s eyes on him. Yes, he decided, as he tied on his already tied laces for a few seconds later, this could be fun.

#i did this instead of working on my original story hope u enjoy #red dwarf #Dave Lister #arnold rimmer

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girlbattled · 5 years ago

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hola m’angels , i’m min ! twenty-two ( aka gettin old ) , from the gmt timezone ( aka will be awake when everyone’s sleeping ) , and i use she/her mainly but i don’t mind anythin else . if anyone happens to wanna go wild with me over anime, robert pattinson / zoe kravitz as batcat, or riot games dropping way too much shit on us on the 10th anniversary pls hop into my ims or give me a little ping over on discord at 𝖓𝖔𝖊𝖑 𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓#0252 .

* drum roll pls * i present to you sloane janeway !

underneath the cut is a little bit about my baby gorl. her bio, fun facts, some wanted stuff, etc etc. if you fancy plotting w her it’d be super cool if you liked this or if u came to me, either in my ims or discord ! i’m super down for anything & loan is a total mess so pls throw stuff at me . ♡ ♡ ♡

trigger warnings : abuse, physical abuse, neglect, destructive behaviours, alcohol, drugs, sex, overdose. if i’ve missed any, please forgive me and let me know.

the new york janeway’s, you’re sure you’ve heard of them before. cyrus janeway, a stockbroker with far too little time on his hands, flanked by estrella janeway, his personal assistant turned life partner. they gave birth not longer after the wedding of the century to their eldest son, their pride and joy, cole janeway. he was to be the golden child, the heir to the estate... that was, until sloane came along.

from birth, sloane was a vicious departure from her family. she was unplanned, unexpected, perhaps unwanted was a stretch but it certainly wouldn’t have been far off the mark. her birth nearly destroyed the reputation the janeway’s had so carefully cultivated for themselves, nobody could quite believe cyrus and estrella would be so stupid, but along she came regardless. a spanner in the cogs.

for the first few years, sloane didn’t feel the difference between herself and cole. whilst he kept his distance, which she had always assumed was because she was five years younger and a girl, she never believed there to be bad blood. she was dressed up in countless fancy dresses, her golden locks repeatedly brushed and subjected to numerous chemical treatments, and even her skin somewhat speckled with makeup even as a toddler. estrella always seemed like she was trying to make up for something. it didn’t take long for sloane to notice.

she began acting out at the age of six, when she realised acting the pretty and perfect princess did not get her what she wanted. when she was quiet, she was ignored, but when she was loud? at least the help scurried to her, at least her nanny cradled her in her arms, at least cole’s personal butler gave her a look full of love rather than scorn. it wasn’t long before she was hanging out in the kitchen rather than the dining hall, the quarters rather than her own room.

as she grew older, however, her acts grew. countless times her mother woke to find her dressing room trashed, her father’s hunting trophies ripped to shreds, her brother’s endless awards from school all in the garbage. they tried to discipline her, cyrus even hit sloane a few times, but all it did was make her angry. instilled a fire within her. when they locked her doors, she climbed out of the window. when they barred her windows, she broke the door into splinters. when they replaced the door, she ripped up the floorboards. sloane was a loose cannon. and things were only about to get worse.

for the most part, she’d kept her nuisances to the confines of her “home”, only wishing to get back at her parents for neglecting her for so long. only one night, when she was fourteen years old and had finished her latest act of malcontent, it was cole who chose to deal with her. he, as a nineteen year old male who’d grown a considerable amount of bulk as star of his college football team, proceeded to beat the shit out of her.

turns out, the brother she thought had simply never been on her wavelength had never been on the same planet as her at all. he despised sloane. despised everything she was and stood for, and made sure she knew as she was spitting up blood on their pristine carpets.

the next day, sloane strolled into school. no makeup. joint hanging from her lips. typical upper class attire replaced with torn jeans and a shirt far too inappropriate. when people asked her what had happened, she had simply replied, ‘ you should see the other guy. ’ and birthed a new persona.

sloane’s way of coping with what her brother had done to her, and what her family had allowed him to do, was to fall deep into the cesspits of teenagedom. drugs, sex, alcohol – she’d done it all by the age of eighteen. yet somehow, the part of sloane before, the part that was simply a bratty child with a short fuse, was gone. now she was a danger. she held a wicked grin and too many scrapes to count. she knew no bounds, understood no loyalties, screamed at the top of her lungs as if she were attending the world’s wildest rager. on top of it all, sloane was the maximum party girl. nobody cared what she was going home to, because all they cared about was where she’d be at 1am on a friday night. she became the family wild child. photos of her strewn over the papers. consistent beatings and beratings from the men in her family did nothing to drown out the buzz she received from the attention she’d craved her entire life. sloane was finally getting everything she ever wanted, why did it matter where it was coming from?

as a final resort, her family shipped her off to hollingsworth. here, away from the prying eyes and judgemental glares of the horrid new yorkers, sloane somewhat thrived. forced into economics by her shithead father, but enjoying every test she aced and spat in his face, she fell quickly into gamma rho alpha and, by the time she had finished her freshman year, she was well in line to be vice president. she was still a wreck, still doing anything she could for the attention and limelight she craved, still bouncing off the walls in an attempt to get her desired adrenaline rush, but what little responsibility she’d been given allowed her to finally form connections. friends, best friends, but anything more than that? things like love, compassion, altruism? she wasn’t even sure what those were.

♡ personality.

uncritical. if there’s anything sloane is, it’s uncritical. she’s never held judgement against anyone in her life, and would never hold judgement against anyone who came to her to admit a heinous or strange deed. she’s heard all sorts, from strange sexscapades to near deaths, and to each of them she often has the same reaction – a loud chortle, followed by disbelief and a desire to know way too many details.

venturesome. to try and stop the blonde from heading out on an adventure is a task mortals would find impossible. a true ‘yes girl’, sloane has never been one to say no to anything, and to never back out of something she said yes to, no matter how bizarre or dangerous the situation might become. she’s always first into the fray, first in line of all the girls to beat the burglar up with a hair straightener, first in line into the abandoned building, first to jump off the roof into the pool.

allegiant. whilst sloane’s loyalty is almost as rare as unicorn blood, it’s possible to receive it, and when you do it’s something you’ll never lose. she sticks by those who have managed to put up with her, unable to let them go even when they do her dirty.

graceless. a. clumsy. bitch. if you’re expecting sloane’s etiquette lessons to have stuck with her, you’re very wrong. the girl trips over her own feet more times than she can count in a day, always has at least something broken, fractured, or sprained, and has certainly won the award in gamma rho alpha for ‘most freak accidents in a single day’.

chaotic. everything about sloane is a nightmare come to life. she drags people down, deep into the depths of places they never thought they’d be, wishes for them to destroy their lives like she’s destroyed hers. to say she loves to see the world burn would be an understatement. she loves starting and watching drama, getting into fights, smashing up homes and belongings, getting into relationships she shouldn’t be in. trying to stop is nigh impossible, the chaos is almost an addiction, and she’s not ready to give it up.

needy. despite it all, she’s still the same girl who was never loved. not truly, not by anyone, and perhaps somewhere deep down she still craves that. she’ll leave you on read for days but god forbid you do the same to her. she’ll have a one night stand and dip right after but never lets her flings leave her life without something to remember her by. she drunk calls the exes she let get away, tells them she loves them and calls them a pussy in the same sentence. no matter how much she tries, she can’t hide the part of her she thinks is ugliest at all, her desire for others.

♡ fun facts.

an avid skateboarder, she picked it up in an attempt to ruin the family image even further when she was fifteen but it stuck in a surprising way. she now tends to ride it over campus, and has broken at least three in her time here.

massive stoner. whilst sloane openly dabbles in most drugs, weed’s the one that’s stuck with her, and it’s the only thing that slows her down. she’s a much nicer person when she smokes and she tends to have a preference for indica over sativa.

fucking bosses her major. economics, despite all its complexities, is something sloane is just naturally adept at. she takes a picture of every grade she gets with her middle finger in front of it, posts it on facebook and tags her father. he blocked her over a year ago.

besides that tho she’s stupid af. a lot of people think she puts it on bc of her grades and bc . . . she does everything for kicks, but no, she’s just kinda ditzy. a lot of people also think she’s just a straight up cheater and hasn’t gotten her grades herself.

nicknames are loan or jane, jane’s reserved for those she’s closest to tho!

♡ wanteds.

fellow sorority sisters 0/? ⟶ self-explanatory! positive, negative, etc etc etc. i wanna plot w all her gals so bad lmao. besties, literal sisters, clothes sharers, secret smokers, party gals, enemies, girls who’ve slept w each other’s exes, all of it bABY.

economics pal 0/1 ⟶ i’m thinking this person goes to sloane for help with everything and sloane pretty much does all their work for them. she doesn’t care bc it’s easy, and the other person blesses her and thanks her all the time. it’s a quiet agreement, so whilst it’s no secret bc sloane hates keeping them, it’s def hush hush. this person is one of the few who actually believes sloane’s as smart as they say. can also be a business student or smthn with similar classes!

super soft bestie 0/1 ⟶ ok so this is male only for a dumb reason i’m rly sorry. i had this plot before where my old muse sloane’s based off had a really sweet, selfless soft pal who was a dude, but they’d never slept together, she’d never even flirted somehow, and he was the one person in sloane’s life who always had her best interests at heart, and she defended him tooth and nail against anybody. the most unlikely duo ever and i want it back. she knew he never wanted anything else from her and that’s why it was so easy for her to attach, but bc this other person deals well with affection and is very reassuring, she never feels needy around them.

people she skates with 0/2 ⟶ people she met down the skatepark or at a typical hangout before meeting them at hollingsworth. when she’s with them she’s pretty chill, though they’ve def been responsible for saving her ass and driving her to the ER a few times.

people she smokes with 1/3 ⟶ oh shit whaddup stoner gang? lmao sorry anyway, yeah, again self-explanatory but! a lil more interesting because sloane’s very different when she’s stoned. she’s calmer, talks slower, and lets people get a word in and doesn’t try and get everyone involved w her hare brained schemes. these people probably actually enjoy her company! how wild?

new yorkers 0/? ⟶ sloane’s underwear has been plastered on the front page of most nyc tabloids and she’s the daughter of two massives in the industry, new york natives will know her somewhat. they can use that against her, they can empathize, or we can concoct some real dramatic shit. people who helped her fuck someone up, and now theyre keeping it quiet? someone she slept with who’s come to hollingsworth with their girlfriend/boyfriend? an addict she started on pills? yikes, lots of opportunity tho.

exes 0/2 ⟶ whew boy. we all know by now sloane’s a hot mess, right gang? so let’s see some people she’s messed up in the past. tOTALLY open to more exes and the more crazy the plot u bring me, the better. i lov angst just like anyone else does.

the one she didn’t ruin 1/1 ⟶ the one person in her life sloane walked away from without destroying, aka, the one she let get away because she realised she was going to harm someone she severely card about. she would’ve ended things with this person rather than pushing their buttons, would’ve been faithful and honest in their relationship, but dipped bc she’d let herself get involved too fast, too soon. definitely a name she’s forbidden her friends from bringing up.

lifeline 1/1 ⟶ let’s be real for a second about drug use, you can do it responsibly, but when you don’t, you can get in some serious fucking trouble. this person has always been there to stop sloane from od’ing. she only does hard drugs at ragers, so her risk is a bit lower than expected, but when she does them she does them. she’s a serious risk, and for some reason this gentle soul has taken it upon themselves to get her stomach pumped, take her home, clean her up, and give her a warm bed to stay in. they don’t speak much away from these nights where she has this vulnerability (she’s definitely mumbled things about her past to them), but that could very well change.

#𝙴𝚇𝙴. 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝟶𝟶𝟶 ⟶ david dobrik’s t-shirt supplier. ⎠ out of character.#hi ! so sorry this isn't in pages i didn't quite have the time but !!! baby gorl #there's a lot here i apologise #hworths:intro #might not show up bc i had to make a brand new blog booooo

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