#im done reading it now im sad😔
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they were soooo fun and cute to read too, i love them
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🍰🥛
#i've been so good not complaining about this... so im gonna do it now :3#early this week during my walk... a point in my shoulder / collarbone / neck started hurting so bad#it was at that level where your saliva production increases and you start feelings slightly nauseous#idk if it was bc it was so painful OR if the pain is at a point that puts pressure on certain nerves#and during the week i've felt it on and off but at a much lowe intensity#but this morning i woke up at 6am and couldnt fall asleep bc it hurt too much 🥴#i've googled sm but i just cant figure out at all what it could be... this doesnt fit any description#it isnt focused in my shoulder joint bc i can move my arm in all directions and degrees and it doesnt make it worse#anyway i read and read but i cant figure out at all what it is and that annoys me bc now idk what to do T-T#it could maybeeeee be that im so fkn tense and always have muscle tension in my neck throat and shoulders#it is possible that it now hit a specific pressure point and now i have a pinched nerve type of situation where my muscles are tensed up#or it is bc i could have done certain exercises wrong at the gym#im always so anxious and cautious abt exercising wrong but i still cant ever be sure if i do it correctly :(((#i might have used one of the machines for shoulders/biceps/back incorrectly#like maybe the seat has been too high or low :/// and now i've strained smth???#it made me so sad tho bc when i was at the gym this week i skipped all upperbody exercises bc im too scared 😔#i want it to pass bc like it actually hurts in such a weird and uncomfortable way like it makes me wanna puke and it comes in waves#but nothing makes it better like not heat not painkillers not stretches ... so im just not doing too much#and hope it will go away :'))) but also now im scared of exercising bc what if im doing it wrong and damage my body?!? 😭#i hate my body bc i have so many random unexplainable pains and it is so annoying >.<#ok now i've complained so i feel better ^-^
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tags ended so im continuing here
"allow the pain to fade in the background" i loved this sentence because this is exactly how it feels for me when i swim, everything just faded and all i feel is the water, and HYUNJIN IS THIS WATER FOR HERRRR
THE POEM!!!!!! "your lungs are burning" because she's holding her breath in the water BUT SHE HAS TO LET GO AND BREATHE "the weight of the ocean isn't trying to harm you" YESSS!!!! i love your writing you're BRILLANT
THE ENTIRE PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE LEAP OF FAITH JUST HAD ME CLUTCHING MY HEART,,,,, i love how it came full circle, from her watching the waves lapping at her feet, to embracing the ocean that is hyunjin I'm so soft rn
and her wondering before if she puts her head on his chest would she hear the waves AND THEN HIS HEARTBEAT SPEAKS TO YOU IN CALL WAVES AJSJDBBDBDBFBFB just perfect
YOU OUTDID YOURSELF WITH THIS ONE I TRULY LOVED IT thank you for writing it <3333 (and the i love you paragraph broke me it really did, u put stars and oceans metaphors into this THIS WAS A PERSONAL ATTACK)
Cleaning supplies... Under the moonlight | Hwang Hyunjin
Pairing: Hyunjin x reader (no pronouns used but they are wearing a swim suit)
Characters: best friend!Hyunjin, reader, David (reader’s boyfriend), Jihyo and Luna (reader’s friends) and Sharon (identity is a spoiler). None of the original characters resemble real people.
Genre: Romance, best friends to lovers, ANGST, hurt/comfort, being saved from a messy break-up, slow burn, star-crossed lovers
Word Count: 8k
Warnings: CHEATING (reader gets cheated on by her boyfriend), toxic relationship, messy break-up, crying, reader becomes very insecure, Hyunjin is there to save the day, and he’s pining hard, reader is wearing a swim suit, I have no idea how heated pools work so don’t quote me on anything, Hyunjin is a poet so; I present to you confessing feelings through love poems, Hyunjin is shirtless, swearwords, reader gets called ‘angel’, kissing, cuddles, a bit of revenge, humor, the tense change is intentional (kinda), hopelessly romantic stuff, poetic prose, metaphors galore and lots of word plays (if you catch them all I���ll give you a gold star.)
A/n: I know the first part of the story focused on the reader’s relationship with her toxic boyfriend, but Hyunjin will become the main focus after the break-up so please don’t let the beginning intimidate you. Also I worked on this an entire week lord send help
Synopsis: Your vacation was supposed to go like this: scented candles, a warm pool and the light of the moon, in hopes of fixing your relationship with your boyfriend. But the universe had other plans. After you found out he has been cheating, you bathed under the moonlight, surrounded by broken roses, being confessed in poems by your best friend Hyunjin, and you’ve never felt so whole.
You've put everything into this vacation.
And that didn't only mean money, albeit it was quite costly. You, your boyfriend and some close friends decided to rent out a vacation house with a gigantic heated pool, to at least create a fun, leisure memory before summertime slipped between your fingers and the sun would grow sad and dim once again. With the price shared by so many people, it was still quite a lot - but you didn't care, because there was more emotion put behind this vacation than mere money.
Perhaps it wasn't the healthiest of solutions, just how when a couple decided to get married to fix their relationship (which to you always seemed like such a horrid idea), you were trying something similar. You wanted this vacation with your boyfriend, David. Things between you haven't been good, that would be the simplest way to put it. His behavior changed, he became more distant, less passionate about your relationship, and one thing led to another and you were fighting because of your growing suspicions. Truth be told, you were terrified. Afraid he didn't love you anymore, afraid he found someone else to spend his nights with.
He had been everything to you, the fiber woven from your cells, the beginning and end of every breath you took - because when you loved, you didn't hold back. And it came to you so naturally, too; to love him. You've never had something so simple, so stable until you met him. But they do say every good thing must come to an end, and there's this little cricket in the back of your mind, at low volume but at an unbearable high pitch, following you every moment, whether awake or asleep. It's telling you your gut is right. Vivi (so you've nicknamed him, many months ago, when his friends were making fun of how basic the name David is) has told you a million times you had nothing to worry about. That he's just busy, or stressed, or that your love is just settling into something more calm, rather than an intense teenage-like love, like it used to be in the beginning. He's made you feel insane so many times over. Like you're just imagining things, like your insecurities are getting out of hand and you're just projecting on him, lashing out at him. You thought you deserved the pain that came with the accusations of being untrusting, immature, unconfident, inconsiderate or selfish. But you didn't, of course you didn't. You didn't deserve any of that.
You were afraid Vivi wouldn't agree to the vacation, or even if he did, he wouldn't pull through on the money part and you'd have to pay his share. You were ready to annihilate your savings account just for this one chance at a happy memory. This one chance at making things right. But surprisingly, he agreed in a heartbeat and even suggested a specific vacation house he's heard of from his friends. Not even two days later, he had all the details down, made the math of the expenses and put together the whole group chat. You thought this was it, he was actually trying again. Showing you he still does have the passion to make you happy.
You couldn't have picked out a better date for the vacation, either. The first night, it would be a full moon, with a clear sky. You were imagining it already, how magical it was going to be, soaking in a heated pool under the moonlight with David, reciting your love vows once more, like you used to do in the start of your relationship. You couldn't help how hopelessly romantic you were, you needed to let it out, confess disgustingly sappy and cheesy words of admiration. But more than that, you needed him to tell you he loves you. You needed it.
When you arrived, you were met with a stranger who had been waiting for you and your friends at the vacation house. She introduced herself as Sharon, the daughter of the owner. Since her father was busy, she was left in charge of giving you the orientation.
"I'm not going to bother you much." She assured you, her voice was low in volume and yet high in pitch. "I'm just going to give you a quick tour of the rooms and then explain to you how the pool works, and what cleaning supplies you can use just in case you need them." She was a beautiful girl, so beautiful in fact, that the cricket in the back of your mind was telling you to be envious. You couldn't quite understand it, but you brushed it off.
There were three rooms in the house, each of them with their own bathroom. It was so much more luxurious than you imagined, and suddenly it seemed odd that you paid so little for something so grand. You remembered Vivi saying something about a discount, but the memory was vague. Nevertheless, the room count was perfect. One room would belong to you and Vivi, one to Jihyo and Luna, and one to Hyunjin.
You met Jihyo through Vivi, they were coworkers at some point. But the two of you instantly clicked and became girl friends, and the more, the merrier - Luna was her adopted sister, picked up from an orphanage in Spain. She was one of the most incredible and strongest women you've ever met, and you simply adored her. It was so magical to see how the two sisters came in a package, how they looked after each other with unconditional love. You thought something like that only existed in TV shows.
And lastly, there was Hyunjin. A man, a poet, a romantic with beauty deemed worthy of a Greek tragedy. But most importantly, your best friend; your lifeline. He understood you, in ways no one ever could. Your souls were made from the same material, the same thirst of emotions of celestial scales, he saw beauty in the small things just like you did. And he has been there, day in, day out, through your ugliest moments. When you were single at prom, he turned down at least 15 girls to take you instead. When you were too broke to afford Taylor Swift tickets, he pretended to 'roam the city' with you so that you'd listen to the concert from outside the stadium. When a boy broke your heart, he'd turn your pain into the most beautiful poems, and gift them to you in journals filled with drawings of your favorite flowers. He was more than anyone could ever ask for, and you were forever grateful to have such a human in your life. The perfect best friend.
With the tour out of the way, you volunteered to go with Sharon and receive the tutorial about the pool and supplies you must use for it. She explained to you the heating mechanism (although all you needed to do was turn it on, she reassured you.) and that water might need to be replenished if you use the pool a long time since the heat makes it evaporate faster. You jutted down all you could in your notes app, and then followed her to the supply closet. She explained to you about chlorine (although half of what she said went over your head) and showed you the cleaning supplies you can use in the instance that the water becomes extremely dirty (which she knew wouldn't be the case, but she was required to let you know). By the end of it, you were starting to think your senses maybe are going insane. Sharon seemed like a very nice and gentle person, and her attitude was very bright and easygoing. You told her you were gonna take some pictures of the bottles and note down in your phone what they are, so she gave you a warm smile and left you alone in the supply closet.
After writing your own one-thousand-words heated pool manual (pictures included), you were ready to have the vacation of a lifetime. You picked out a swimsuit in Vivi's favorite color, prepared his favorite scented candles to place around the pool, and alerted your friends beforehand that you wanted the pool just for you and Vivi on the first night. It was all coming together perfectly, so you grabbed the door handle with confidence.
"I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind if I leave a little bit later. We could grab some food and then hit up that bar you like? Don't I owe you a mojito?" That was Vivi's voice. Even with the door cracked just a little, you could hear it. It was so clear. It was his voice.
"I would love to." The cricket. Low in volume, high in pitch. It was speaking - it was agreeing to go out with your boyfriend.
"And maybe, afterwards I could take you home? Would you like that?" Your eyes are closed shut. But you couldn't close your ears, unfortunately. The conversation continued, and you could imagine him whispering in her ear, looking into her eyes and tipping her chin just how he used to do with you. Tears were about to escape, so you closed them even tighter. Your lungs were burning, because you were denying them air. Holding your breath, you bit your lip, hands shaking as they gripped the wall.
"Speaking of taking something home, I have something for you-"
You finally took a breath. And you stormed towards the voices.
Your vision was blurry, but after blinking away your tears, an image formed before your eyes: David, holding out a gigantic rose bouquet towards Sharon.
The ugliest flowers you've ever seen in your life, held by the ugliest man you've ever met. He was never beautiful to begin with, right? He couldn't have. A man with such an ugly soul, how could you have been attracted to him? How could you have loved him?
He calls out your name.
"This isn't what it looks like, okay? My dad is friends with Sharon's dad, okay? We became friends by association, okay?"
Okay? Is he asking you that, or is he asking himself if the lie is plausible?
"And these are for you, yeah?" He's walking towards you, putting the bouquet in your limp hand. "There's nothing going on between me and Sharon." The cricket, it suddenly stopped. Instead, you heard Sharon gasp and look at David in horror. She must have not known. She was also just a victim.
"Just stop it already! Enough with the lies!" You found yourself yelling, a never seen before anger bubbling underneath your skin. Your fingertips urged you towards violence, and so you slammed the roses into the floor. The petals scattered and the stems broke. Your yell must have startled the others, because soon you heard a lot of footsteps behind you - and then Sharon turned around and walked away, a hurt look in her eyes, head hanging low in shame. She was avoiding the eyes of all your friends, who were now staring at you and David.
"Okay, fine. You've gotten boring and I was no longer happy. I was going to leave you anyway." He was so nonchalant, there was no waver in his voice. That made you feel as if every time he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, and his voice wavered, he wasn't honest. Only now, has he finally been honest.
And the most honest, he was when he took off in a run to chase after Sharon. To make sure she's okay. To comfort her and tell her she's the one he loves.
You fell to the floor.
And to your side, rushed no other than Hyunjin. Like always, to make sure you're okay. To comfort you and tell you you are loved.
The sobs broke out of your body and shook you violently. You were a mess of tears in just a few seconds, and you weren't going to hold back. You wailed, grabbed the roses and slammed them into the floor repeatedly.
But it was useless. They couldn't feel pain. They couldn't feel your pain. They couldn't realize what they have done to you.
Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your frame and gently lifted you to your feet.
"C'mon, let's get you in bed, yeah?" Your knees were buckling and you had no strength to stand. You were shaking your head no, like a toddler who didn't want to go back home. "We can continue crying in bed, mmm? Don't worry, I'll let you cry. I'll cry with you, angel." Your arms circled his torso, clutching his shirt between your fingers. You called out his name, and he reassured you he knows, he knows it hurts.
He carefully took your hand and dragged you away. He exchanged glances and nodded at your friends, but you didn't notice. You whispered to him, groggy in voice, that you can't go to your own room, because David's things are there. So Hyunjin took you to his room, which was the best choice for many reasons, not only so you can avoid seeing his things, but also so that he could avoid the urge of throwing David's suitcase out the window.
Hyunjin was true to his words. He sat you down in bed, and let you cry. And before he knew it, he was crying with you. He was holding you so tight, and it was so warm, and yet the shards of ice in your heart weren't melting. At first, you were angry - how could a human do something like this? Something so despicable, so vile? How could you not have realized you were in love with a monster? But then, his voice began to ring in your head. You're boring. He was going to leave you anyways. Perhaps it's you who's the problem. Perhaps you really are boring, and old-fashioned, and demanding, and idealistic, and untrusting, and immature, and too much to handle, and perhaps you should just give up because you're just un-
"Hyune, am I unlovable?" Your voice was barely there, but he heard you. He always heard you.
"Nonsense." He looked so hurt to hear you say that. "That's such nonsense." He repeated with a laugh, wiping his tears on his sleeve. "That's the most stupid thing you've ever said in your life. And you've said many stupid things, I would know." You slapped his arm in protest, but he was happy to see you chuckle.
"I mean, even if I'm not completely unlovable, Sharon is still prettier than me..." The flick of Hyunjin's fingers resonated on your forehead. You held your head in pain.
"What the hell, dude!"
"It's revenge! Every single time you say something like that, it hurts me. So I must hurt you back." You sighed. You knew he was joking, but at the same time, there was some truth behind it.
"I'm sorry, Hyune. I should have listened to you. You didn't like him since the very beginning, and you were the only one telling me my gut was right. It must have been so painful to just watch."
"It's painful to watch you now, as well." He confessed, and you felt a pang of guilt wash over you. But he pulled you back in his arms, to pet you hair lovingly. "That bastard, how dare he hurt my angel. I swear I'm gonna turn into Rapunzel's mom and lock you up in a tower so no one can ever hurt you again."
"Hmm, but doesn't pain help us grow or whatever?"
You were pretty sure Hyunjin just rolled his eyes all the way back to China.
"First of all, we all know pain just gives you more trauma. But I mean, your trauma collection is getting quite... exquisite nowadays." You smacked him again, playfully. But this time, you actually laughed. "No but seriously... there is a lesson in there somewhere. And not just to listen to me more often... to learn that you deserve more, angel." He was so close to you while he was speaking, his eyes aimed directly into yours. Your gaze wondered over him, over Hyunjin, your best friend. His chocolate eyes, sweeter than any cake you could ever eat, his vibrant lips, plumper than any wild cherry growing in the trees, his skin - like a canvas painted over the years with the brush of years and aging. His hair was long and dark, rebellious yet elegant, and the light was cascading in the room in lines, through the blinds that were semi-shut over the windows. Suddenly, there was a new sound in your mind. There was no more cricket, there was the sound of the ocean. Waves, crashing upon the shore. You were barely at the seams, the water was gently lapping at your feet; because you knew, you cannot underestimate the ocean. If you go any further, one wave is enough to push you off balance and take you into the water, like an irresistible magnet pulling you towards demise. One step, one wave, is enough. One more inch between your lips and his.
He pushed your shoulder lightly and you fell face first into the pillows.
"And if you say more mean things about yourself, I swear I'm throwing you in the pool." You reached out for the napkins on the nightstand. It was finally time to stop crying and... think about the future?
"The pool... tonight was supposed to be all romantic and perfect, with candles and the full moon on clear skies..."
"I like full moons and clear skies!" Hyunjin announced, and for some reason it made you burst into laugher. "What! It's true! The idiot would have probably not enjoyed it anyways. He has no eye for beauty. He thinks having one green wall in his grey apartment is enough for him to live 'in vibrant color'. Okay Picasso, but like why the fuck must that wall be in the kitchen?!" You look happy when you laugh. He loves seeing you happy. "You dodged a bullet, trust me. First it's the green kitchen wall, next he ignores the perfect date that his perfect girl set up for him-" His perfect girl. You heart was racing. "-and next he-"
"Tries to double tap her with the daughter of a vacation house owner. He couldn't even find the daughter of a rich CEO."
"- I was gonna say next he's the only single grandpa in a retirement home, because he's too sad of an excuse of a man, but that too." Hyunjin always did this for you, as well. He made sure to roast all of your exes until all you could think of them is burnt chicken. Until the memory of them becomes something funny, that could never hurt you again. "Plus, I'm not letting your efforts go to waste - I'm not letting you miss this chance. Let's watch the moon, together."
You nodded. What else could you do?
You decided it would be best to try to take a nap until night hit. So much crying has left you dizzy and with a headache crawling at fast speeds through your forehead and sinuses.
"Do you have any painkillers? Should I try to find a pharmacy around here?" Hyunjin offered, but you reassured him you have some in your suitcase. "Okay, wait here, I'll go get it for you- but uh, which one is yours?"
"The one that has color on it, duh." He disappeared with a giggle, around the corner.
"I will never underestimate you ever again, ma'am." He joked, placing your colorful suitcase next to the bed. He made sure none of your items were left over in the room you used to shared with David, and insisted you stay put while he brings you a glass of water.
Pills in your system, blinds closed, blanket over your shoulders, Hyunjin curled on the other side of the bed, as small as he could make himself be, so that he doesn't make you feel suffocated. But he was holding two of your fingers in his hand, from across the bed. The skin of two fingers was enough pathway for you to feel a million bodies worth of love, though.
When you woke up, he wasn't there. Nor David who was haunting you in your dreams, nor Hyunjin who was whispering poems to you to chase the nightmares away. You thought you'd be alright after crying it out, but it wasn't that easy. You woke up feeling miserable, with a heavy weight on your chest, and yet feeling so empty and hollow.
You checked your phone, and he hasn't called. You didn't know if you should feel sad or relieved about it. At least he won't chase after you again, right? It won't be another hurtful on and off. It's over. He doesn't love you anymore.
"Oh hey, you're awake- Nah ah, no more crying! You've had your fill of tears, now it's time for a fill of pizza! Get your ass to the living room, missy!" You didn't have the time to cry when Hyunjin was chasing you out of the room with a pillow.
It was a little bit awkward at first, because Jihyo and Luna didn't know if they should bring it up or just try to distract you. Eventually you bit the bullet and began to tell them about your relationship yourself. All the behavior changes, the suspicions, the hurtful words (that you now realize were manipulation) and all the lies.
"Not even his guy friends knew." Jihyo told you. She apparently told the whole group chat she was in with David's friends about what he has been doing. "He didn't just lose his girlfriend, I think he lost most of his friends by doing this."
"Thank you, Ji. For having my back." Perhaps your relationships were monster trucks, but your friends were really golden. They really looked after you.
"So!" Hyunjin announced. "Change of plans. She's having a romantic moonlit date with me, instead. So the pool is still off limits." After Luna threw what looked like a piece of olive at Hyunjin's shirt, and he screamed in your ear, eventually the sisters said they were planning on working on their DnD character sheets anyway. They were your favorite nerds.
According to your phone, the moon would begin to rise at around nine in the evening. It was just enough time for the food in your bellies to settle, while you caught up with the new videos of your favorite comedy channel. Laughter filled the room, and Jihyo and Luna made sure to cuddle the heck out of you, to distract you from that emptiness that was threatening to form into a pit in your stomach.
"So, what scented candles do you have? Something sexy and seductive?" Hyunjin asked you, wriggling his eyebrows. It made the other girls giggle.
"Apple." You answered, and the whole room deadpanned.
"In what world is apple sexy?!"
"It's his favorite!" You tried to defend yourself, but Hyunjin just scoffed.
"Jesus fucking Christ, you really needed a new boyfriend." This roast didn't make you grin. It didn't make you laugh. Instead, you looked down at the floor, a sigh shaking your body. As the seconds passed, you began to feel more and more stupid for ending up in this situation. For being so dumb as to let yourself be led on by some pretty words, and pretty eyes, that you could ever be truly loved- "Sorry." Hyunjin apologized in a panic. It just slipped, he had so much resentment bottled up for that man. "It's a good thing I brought some of mine with me. They're not exactly sexy, but they should be more fitting."
"Oh, what scent is it?"
"Ocean." Ocean, the waves that are lapping at your feet. They're calling you over.
Hyunjin was calling you over, to see if you like the smell of the candles. You had gone through too many emotions today: the anger, the sadness, the insecurities, and now this anxiety. Or was it thrill? If you put your ear on Hyunjin's chest, would you be able to hear the waves?
"I'm going to go set these up." He announced, and you nodded.
"I'll get changed." With a skip to his step, Hyunjin walked out and closed the door to give you privacy. You're not even in the water yet, and you already feel like you're drowning.
You fished out your swim suit from your luggage and laid it out on the bed before you. You actually bought this - spent so much money on it - got it in his favorite color - for a man who was cheating on you. You were really regretting not having brought an alternative with you. You couldn't just walk out in underwear and a shirt, right? Better not. You grit your teeth and put it on, but made a mental note to 'accidentally' start a dumpster fire, and 'accidentally' drop the swim suit in it after tonight.
When you were done changing, you found Hyunjin out by the pool. Somehow, he managed to turn it on by himself since you could already see steam coming off of it. He arranged two candles around one corner of the pool (since he only had two) and was probably waiting for you to arrive.
"Oh, angel. That color does not suit you." Hyunjin had always been quite picky when it came to fashion. He had his 'disgusted fashion designer' face on.
"I know, it's-"
"Let me guess, his favorite color? I've seem vomit more vibrant than that." You snorted at the comment. The color was, in fact, quite horrible. "If I wouldn't know how much money you probably spent on that, I'd tell you to set it on fire." You laughed. Great minds think alike.
"I was thinking the same thing." After exchanging grins, Hyunjin seemed to fall into thought. He had that look in his eyes that told you there was a complicated process going on in his mind.
"I'll buy you a new one." Surprised, you cocked an eyebrow at him as you approached the side of the pool he was at. You scooted next to the scented candle he lit, and sat down on the edge. "Careful you don't burn you butt." He joked, and you rolled your eyes at him. The candle wasn't even close to touching you. The water was very warm and calming, you noticed, when you dipped your feet in. It made you want to move even closer to the edge so that your tired ankles would be soothed.
"You don't need to buy me a new one. What would I use it for? I don't think I'll be at any pool again any time soon." A rosy petal tickled your toes and you realized the bouquet had somehow ended up in the water. There were petals and tiny white flowers scattered all around the corner of the pool. It would have been a beautiful sight, if it wasn't so tragic.
"Well, maybe I have been secretly planning a weekend trip to Jeju island for you and I." That surely caught you off guard. You barely had any money left after this vacation, you wouldn't be able to afford a trip to Jeju. He wasn't planning on paying for it all by himself, right?
"I mean, that sounds lovely, Hyune." You replied, even if you had some financial disagreements to talk about later. "But it's september! I don't think I'll be walking around in a swimsuit at the beach in this weather. It's getting chilly." The air was quite cold, you've noticed it ever since the morning. The sun didn't have the same strength as a few days ago - but thankfully the heat coming off of the pool was making it bearable to be out just in a swim suit.
"First of all, summer is a feeling, not a season. And second, I'll just get you one for next summer." Next summer - you almost forgot. To Hyunjin, highschool with you was barely yesterday, and next summer should be in two days. A year was nothing to him when he promised you forever.
"Okay." You replied quietly, swooshing the water around with your feet. You were scared to look him in the eyes, because suddenly you felt so vulnerable. You could trust his idea of forever, right?
"Okay!" He replied with a much brighter note. "With that settled, I'll go get changed for our pool adventure." He walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts, and the subtle smell of the ocean. It was still calling you, but now you could hear it clearer. You could smell it clearer. One more step, one more inch of your skin under the water, and perhaps you could feel it clearer, too.
The wait would have been agonizing if you hadn't made a friend in the moon as soon as you found it in the sky. She - the moon has always been a she to you - was looking absolutely astonishing . For a second, a very silly second, you thought the moon had done a better job at dressing up for a romantic date than you did. You searched around for the evening star as well, the brightest, most beautiful star in the sky. You hoped if the moon was going on a date tonight, it would be with the evening star. For he was a strong man to always keep his light so bright, to always manage to guide the sailors lost in the night-
Hyunjin came back with a few tiny packages in his hand. He was shirtless; and from waist down he wore swim trunks, an ombre from blue, to light blue, to white. With the way the sky was reflected in the pool, you would think he was trying to blend in with the water.
"Choco?" He nudged you, offering you a golden foil. You took one from him happily, and watched him as he took off an elastic band from his wrist to put his hair up in a messy ponytail. The chocolate he offered you was very delicious, and you guessed also probably very fancy. Hyunjin never held back when it came to pleasing the senses. But you wondered, how come he's offering you something sweet? Wasn't the ocean supposed to be salty?
He also ate a chocolate quietly next to you. The silence was getting heavy, which was very odd. Silence was always comforting next to him, but now, the less he spoke the more you felt confused and lost at sea.
"The bouquet ended up in the water." You told him, trying to make any sort of small talk. He hummed, put away the foil of the sweet treat he consumed, and eased himself fully into the pool. As soon as he was in, he let out a soulful sigh. He adored warm water, and you could tell from his body language, from the way his shoulders slumped and his neck craned to stare at the night sky, jaw wide open in admiration - that Hyunjin was in a happy place. Was it just you who was nervous, then?
To your surprise, Hyunjin pushed through the water all the way to the corner where the bouquet was floating about. He picked it up, and began to crush the flowers in his hand so that the petals would fall. He left the stems empty, and then threw them out of the pool. With powerful motions, he made the water roll in waves, so that the petals would scatter throughout the entire pool.
"Now it's just part of the decorum." He said with a giggle. He approached you, and his hand was warm and welcoming when it gently touched your knee. "Forget who they're from." As he beckoned you to join him in the water, you wanted to let those words hypnotize you. Allow the pain to fade to the background.
You join him in the water, and it embraces you like you were meant to be held in someone's arms your entire life. Even though you are surrounded by those petals - those empty promises, those broken parts of your heart - something inside of you is healing. You are no longer putting meaning or significance onto them. They no longer hold you captive. For that tiny moment, everything is as it should be: there is no other place you should have been. No other person you should have been. And no other person - besides your best friend with a dizzying smile - should have accompanied you that night. It was the universe's plan, and no one could be blamed for that.
The universe is vast. As you look up, through the thousands of celestial bodies before you, you can't pin point any to curse in grief and woe. Furthermore, you can't even name this strange feeling of acceptance. It had just appeared in your heart.
"The sky is so beautiful." You mumble, and Hyunjin almost surprises you when he hums. He looks just as awestruck as you do, and you know for a fact he was the one meant to join you. You watch the rise and fall of his chest, the deep breaths he takes as he says absolutely nothing. He is in a trance, and you are entranced by him.
"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" You hear him say, but it was quiet, like he wasn't sure of his own words.
"For all that is up there, up above,
In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:
The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He takes a pause, as if to rest for a heartbeat and let himself smile.
"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -
And help you see yourself in mine."
"That's beautiful, Hyune." You complimented. You wondered just how many poems he had stored in his mind and heart. Would you need a library pass to find out? "Who's it from?"
"Oh, he's not a published author." He replied cheekily. "Although he wishes he could be." From the shy yet smug look on his face, it was easy to piece it together.
"Did you write it?"
"Mhm."
"Like, on the spot? Just now?"
"Mhm."
You're absolutely insane!" You tell him with a gentle slap to the arm. He giggles and your heart melts. "I swear there's no human being more talented than you." He looks down at the water and something peculiar sparkles in his eyes. Something naughty, like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and yet he's unaware, he's proud of the mistake he's done.
"Well, it wouldn't be possible without you." You stare at him in confusion. Is he trying to thank you for supporting him and his passion for poetry? For the validation and reassurance you offer him when he works? It goes without question that you would be supporting your best friend- "Do you want me to recite the poem to you again?" You're confused and caught off guard. Frankly you have no idea what is going on, so you just shrug your shoulders awkwardly.
"Sure, I guess."
While Hyunjin has been standing to your side this entire time, leaning back on the edge of the pool, the scented candle between you two, now he moved to stand before you. He was blocking the moon, invading your senses, a dim light hugging his silhouette.
"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" He's looking in your eyes, and his hands move to grip the edge of the pool on either side of you head. Your lungs are burning.
"For all that is up there, up above" He looks towards the sky for a split second, and then he looks back at you, his eyes clouding with mist.
"In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:" He searches for you hand in the water, and with the most gentle pull, he brings it to his lips to kiss your fingers. A rose petal slips off of you arm and back into the water.
"The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He's smiling. He's in his happy place, and yet, you don't know how to accept that the weight of the ocean isn't trying to harm you.
"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -" Was he seeing the moon in your eyes?
"And help you see yourself in mine." You were in his eyes. You were. It just took you so many years to see it.
"The moon and stars are shining for me?" You ask; you had to make sure. Your hands were shaking, and a chill ran down your spine.
"My love." He completed the lyric, and you were trying so so hard, to find oxygen in your lungs.
This was exactly were you were afraid of - that one step closer, the ocean waves would take you away, and you'd fall into the dark depths - and ultimately drown. "I'm in love with you." You hear him say. "I know you've been through so many emotions already, and this is just not the right time, because I don't wanna seem like I'm taking advantage of the situation and trying to be some sort of savior to you, but I really am in love with you and I can't stand watching you suffer-"
One of your favorite quotes you've ever read, by a person named Irtiqa Nabi, was 'The sea speaks more honestly to those willing to drown'.
You just had to be willing.
You just had to understand.
You don't need the oxygen.
You take one more, final breath and reach out to kiss Hyunjin before he rambled away all night. His hands fly to embrace you, to cradle your face, to shield you with his body.
It was the most terrifying leap of faith you've ever made, but you finally realized the ocean wasn't evil. It wasn't trying to take your life away or rob you of your heart. No, the ocean was this being full of life, full of warmth; he wanted you to dive beyond the surface. He wanted you to uncover his mysteries. And he loved you so much.
"Wait." Hyunjin pulls away, dazed and with unfocused eyes. He bites his lip. "Are you sure about this? Once you allow me to love you, I won't stop. I don't let go." You look up at him and smile. No matter how many times you tell him, it'll never be enough: he's so beautiful. But tonight, something is different. He's exactly how the universe wanted him to be. Exactly where the universe wanted him to be. So naturally, only poetry could describe the beauty of a man who had found his destiny.
"Make me you last love, Hyunjin." You plead, and his eyes fill with both admiration and tears.
"Oh, I will." He cradles you so gently, and yet so tightly. His long fingers are enveloping your face, his body is swallowing yours like the tide, and he kisses you, again and again. And with each one, you gain life, you gather courage, a new constellation is born inside of you. Astrologers could only dream of uncovering all those new-born stars.
He drags you into the middle of the pool, and guides your legs around his waist. He holds you with ease, and from this angle, when you look down at him all you see is joy. But he hides in your neck, and finds another happy place in there.
You rest your head on his shoulder and look up the sky. The moon rose to a higher position, and she looks so calm, so all-knowing as she beams on you. She knew what was going to happen already, and now she was grinning at you slyly.
"Can you see the moon from there?" Hyunjin asks you, and you hum.
"Mhm. But you can't, can you?" It's not like he's trying, his eyes are closed as he cradles you.
"No, just tell her I said hi." You laugh. You wonder just for how long, has the moon known Hyunjin's secret? "I've got my own night sky right here." He says, as he hugs you even tighter, squeezing you to his chest like you're his childhood teddy bear.
"Cheesy." You mutter, but you place a kiss just underneath his ear. That ear begins to burn, and then his whole face is red (that's why he's hiding it away) and Hyunjin thinks he'll never grow used to it. In fact, he promises himself he won't. He promises to always allow himself to be surprised by just how much you mean to him. Over and over again.
Minutes turn to hours, just like days always turned to years around Hyunjin. Eventually you climb out of the pool to not turn into raisins - but you still continue to be tangled with each other, making up for all the kisses you've missed for all those years you've kept each other at arm's length. It feels like a pipe dream to call him yours, to kiss his lips that felt like clouds, look into his eyes that filled with lightning, listen to the words filled with thunder. And yet, his heartbeat still spoke to you in calm waves-
You and Hyunjin jump from your seats at the sound of something loudly popping. You frantically look around for the sound, and you see Jihyo and Luna, holding a confetti tube towards you. The sparkly paper falls to the floor, while some are carried by the wind towards you.
"Congratulations!" The two cheer, and you can't help but snort. Where did they even get confetti from?
"Now that the cat's outta the bag, the asshole is out of the picture and you're finally dating the right guy-" Luna almost sounds like she's rapping while she rambles, and everyone carries amusement on their faces. "And this guy can stop whining in my ear about how much he wants you-" You turn towards Hyunjin in shock, and he tries to make himself small and hide. He fails. "We can finally have some nice, family fun!"
"I thought we agreed you'd let us have the pool tonight!" Hyunjin argues, but Luna tuts in response.
"So I can just watch you two make out from afar? Nah, I wanna see it in person." With the look of an almost psycho, Luna grabs your leg and pulls you into the pool with her. She splashes you wildly in the face, and soon Jihyo and Hyunjin join you in a water fight even a toddler would easily win.
After a while a whole lot of fun, you approach Jihyo for a light conversation while the other two are struggling to inflate a beach ball.
"Have you known for a long time?"
"About Hyunjin's feelings? No, it was Luna who knew. I didn't know until tonight, honestly."
Hyunjin has been confiding in Luna, it seems. She was the only one who knew his secret - or well, maybe she wasn't. You look up at the moon, and then back at Luna, and something seems to make you laugh.
It is very late into the night, and yet you are all still awake. It came to the point where you had to leave the water, but Luna stops in the middle of the hallway and blocks the path.
"Hey, didn't that girl teach you stuff about cleaning the pool and all?"
You didn't even remember her name by this point.
"Yeah, why?"
"So what cleaning supplies should one use, let's say, if the pool becomes dirty with... An entire luggage worth of clothes and stuff?"
"What?" Hyunjin asks, breaking into a wild laugh, but he feels as if he already knows what Luna is about to say.
"Let's throw David's stuff into the pool." You display a look of horror, but when you look at Hyunjin, you see him comically dash into the house.
You're too dazed to even register when the suitcase showed up in front of your face. All three of your peers attacked the zippers like wild hyenas, and soon your ex's clothes are sent flying into the pool.
"Even his underwear is ugly." Hyunjin says, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it as far as he could into the pool. "I'm gonna need hand sanitizer after this."
You start to enjoy it after a while. Sure, you still tell them to not throw anything electric or expensive in there, like his earphones or watch, but you are the one to chuck his toothbrush in the pool and watch it sink to the bottom.
"Revenge is best served wet, baby." Luna pretends to dust off her hands and leaves the scene of the crime with a deadly hair flip.
Giggling like a bunch of school girls, you part ways to go quickly shower the chlorine away from your bodies. Then you reunite, clad in your comfiest pj's, and cuddle to Hyunjin's chest to listen to the sound of the ocean waves.
"Angel?" He calls out to you, and you look at him with hazy eyes. "Would it be weird or overwhelming if I told you I love you?"
"No." You shake your head and giggle. It's not that it was new information to you, but it did hold a new meaning now. A meaning - you found - you were always craving to reciprocate. Why have you been searching for Hyunjin in all of those people, when he was right there with you, petting your hair and making you feel alive?
"And would it be weird or overwhelming if I said that to you every night?"
"No, I would like that actually." You reach up to kiss him. He welcomes it and chases after your lips, and it's such a new high, that you wish it to turn into a habit.
"Okay." He whispers. "I love you."
"I love you." You reply. You don't say 'me too', you don't say 'i love you too'. Because this is not an action that he does and you copy. No, you love him all on your own. It's so crazy, that you love him independently, and he loves you independently, and yet when you're put together, you form the same constellation.
It's a good thing Hyunjin locked the door, because somewhere around five in the morning you got woken up by loud banging on your door, your handle being shaken erratically and an array of swear words. Hyunjin woke up as well, and you both tried to stifle your giggles, because that night you heard swearwords and insults you didn't even know existed.
By afternoon, when you got out of your room, he was completely gone. Turns out he collected his clothes from the pool and left with them soaking in a garbage bag. Luna had snuck out in the morning to record a video of David, trying and failing repeatedly to fish out his clothes with the stick end of a broom. You laughed so hard it brought you to tears, and when you went outside to check, you saw the only thing left, was a chlorine infused toothbrush sitting sad and depressed at the bottom of the pool.
You blocked him and threw away the memory of him into the sea. You knew the sea would be mean to him, drown him out and silence him. Because the universe wanted someone else to love you.
The moon, the stars, and all the eight seas;
They whispered to you that you had found your destiny.
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#okay starting off with fuck david#let's get that out of the way#ANYWAYS SKJDJD#“the same thirst of emotion of celestial scales” I LOVE THIS SENTENCE SM#i need THIS hyunjin in my life right now#“he was so nonchalant there was no waver in his voice... only now was he honest” THIS PART BROKE ME because imagine the distrust#that would rise from it#to think that an entire relationship was built on lies#“they couldn't realize what they have done to you” i loved how the roses#at first were a symbolism of the pain david inflicted on yn#that's why she saw them as ugly and then took out her rage on them#but then towards the end when hyunjin throws the petals into the pool she regards them as beautiful#“I'll let you cry. I'll cry with you” SHUT UPPPPP#“like a canvas painted over the years with the brush of aging”#such a pretty sentence#NOW MY FAV PART IS THE OCEAN I'm a sucker for ocean metaphors and like this fic was like a drug to me in this matter#how it starts with the waves just lapping at her feet- thinking that if she ever takes one step forward then she'll find her demise#wait hold this thought because#“the skin of two fingers was enough pathway to feel#a million bodies worth of love“#THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN I WILL TEAR MY HAIR OUT#anyways let's get back to the ocean#THE FACT THAT HIS CANDLE IS OCEAN SCENTED#“they're calling you over” SHE'S FEELING THE PULL#“if you put your ear on hyunjin's chest would you be able to hear the waves” I--- AKSKJDJD!€;“;€+€#still affects me just as much when i first read it#he's the ocean!!!!!!! but he's a gentle one he won't hurt you I PROMISE DIVE IN#also “ a year was nothing to him when he promised you forever” time doesn't exist when you're in love im so sad#his shorts being ocean colored 😔😔😔#“wasn't the ocean supposed to be salty?” THE SCALE IS STARTING TO TIP SHE'S SEEING CLEARER I'M HEREEE FOR IT
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imagine having an argument with jude and giving him attitude all day but he’s just so patient and so during your night routine while doing skin care or smth he’s all “darling im so sorry…” blah blah blah but then lectures you in a loving way to not ignore him and instead talk your feelings out 💋
okay but why would this be me?? i will hold onto that grudge until i feel time is right 😔🤞🏻this is slightly longer, and not proofread!! but like always hope you enjoy😘
your hands are interlocked together. well… kinda. his is fully locked with yours, fingers wrapped on your knuckles as your hand is just in place and fingers spread out. he’d been begging for your attention. a small smile, tiny meep, or even a small nudge from you. but you refused to even look at him. saving whatever you had to say in you to further cause tension in the car.
“y/n?”
“don’t talk to me. you might even forget what i’ll say the second i’m done speaking…”
“i want to talk it out! i wanna communicate that with you!”
“yet you didn’t care when i did… i don’t care jude!”
you forgot what you were even arguing about. it was just now you being petty and paying back like all those times he had done to you. clearly it was affecting him as he started to send you text messages to get a reaction. once again he was met with nothing. jude frowning and looking away like you were.
he knew if he removed his hand from yours he maybe would’ve gotten something at of you, but he knew how close and attached you were so jude retreated the idea, not wanting to face an even more upset and angry y/n. if there was jude one thing hated was seeing you mad, sad, upset, anything, because of him. knowing he was the reason he hated it.
of course jude hadn’t forgot what you were arguing about. you had insisted and told him repeatedly about the brunch date you had in morning with some other friends, to take out the trash out before the next day so it wouldn’t pile up, and to simply put away the clothes he had laying around.
jude knew it was to forget about the planned brunch date, but the other stuff he found slightly immature, even though he wouldn’t ever admit that to you. it obviously wasn’t okay to you, and the tone of voice he also spoke didn’t sit right with him. he was under a lot of pressure but if he had done what he was asked at first he wouldn’t be in the position.
jude got out quickly, opening the door for you as you stepped out and walked into the house. jude was about to pay the driver when he told him you had done so already. jude thanked him, rolling his eyes once he saw the front door open and you taking your boots off and heading upstairs.
“y/n? can we talk now?” he asked sighing and covering his face with his hand. “i don’t know? are you going to remember what i’ll have to say? or is it gonna be forgotten like our plans from today? the chores i laid for you? hmm, i vote yes! so no. i don’t want to talk to you,” you say sarcastic, crossing your arms and walked off, ignoring the plead from jude.
jude huffed in his place, becoming frustrated with your attitude and side remarks. it was clear you weren’t going to let it go. so now he was faced with also ignoring you cause he was mad or let you have you’d raided space and talk it out later.
jude being the inpatient and clingy boyfriend he was, gave it an hour before going into the living room where you scrolled on your phone. he couldn’t but you did, so you got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a snack and sitting in the island. jude of course threw his hands in the air frustrated. you had to hold back the laugh paying attention to the get ready with me video on your phone.
later on when you went upstairs he followed up a few minutes after, seeing you snuggled up in your soft blanket reading a book with your glasses on. he approached you, but you then got up and walked off again on him, going downstairs and laid on the couch. jude clenched his jaw and laughed loudly. he had enough, all he wanted was to apologize and make it up to you.
he watched from afar, as your eyes kept shutting and opened again, many time before yawning and walking up the stairs again. jude had taken you silent treatment and showered, got ready for bed. not because he want to pay you back, but to finally talk with you. one thing you both agreed on was never going to sleep when either one was upset.
you had heard jude come up after setting the alarm system and ensuring everything was cleaned, locked, and lights turned off. you placed your book back on the shelf, your hair going into a messy updo as jude came to the door, bring to waters and your cup of tea. your heart warmed up, feeling bad for ignoring him the entire night when it was the only night together.
in all honesty you felt like he deserved it. it got to the point where he was clearly forgetting about you and what you said around him, feeling like a presence rather than his actual girlfriend. you didn’t want to seem like a bother but he was making you feel like one, and you hated it more than anything.
jude sat on the bathroom countertop, biting his nails as he watched you change out from your day clothes into your pjs. part of him felt like he won when you grabbed his shirt and put it on, the quickly remembered you were still mad at him. you looked down the entire time, a sad flint in your eyes as you started to take your makeup off.
he watched you rub and rub the cotton pad along your face, the water running as you used your nightly cleanser, the jiggle of the towel rack to pat your face dry. “i refuse to go to sleep knowing you’re still mad at me…” jude said making you stop brush your teeth and look up in the mirror. “okay then. all forgiven…” you shrugged, spitting out the excess hearing jude groan.
“please y/n! i’m trying to talk here. i’m being serious when i say i refuse to get on our bed, and you not even spanking a glance at me,” he said upset, getting up from the counter and over towering you. you said nothing and finished brushing your teeth.
you grabbed your last step of your skin care routine, looking up and breathing a bit deeper than before, controlling your emotions because you hated crying in front of people. “you really upset me today jude… for the first time ever i was starting to question if you ever paid attention to me or if i was being clingy…” you softly chucked.
jude immediately winced and got soft, going behind you and hugging your waist. the tight hold almost making you break down in tears before you could even speak. “i hate when you do that to me. it’s not the first time but it makes me feel like i’m not even there! i’m just a ghost or unwanted person in my own home!”
“i never ever, want to make you feel like that. especially in our home y/n! i can’t describe how incredibly sorry i am for making you feel that way. i had no idea and it’s absolutely horrible i know i know. i never wanted to make you feel uninvited or like you couldn’t say anything around me,” jude said behind your, his thumbs stroking the material of the shirt.
“i get you have a lot going on, believe me i do, but you have no right to embarrass me like that jude,” you say with eyes closed, jude nodding his head and then turning you around. “i know darling, i know. i can promise you right this second it won’t ever happen again! it was incredibly selfish and overall i hurt the person that means the world to me,” you felt his trembling hands and lips to your forehead.
“please don’t ever make me feel like that. like i have to overthink what i say, wear, think! nothing hurts more in the world then getting ignored by the person you love most,” you spoke softly, voice still laced with a tint of pain. “i understand baby. i promise i do pay attention and i do hear you,” jude spoke.
“did you really or is-”
“y/n please…”
“okay i’m sorry, i swear i’m done!” you giggle, jude bringing you impossibly closer to him. “i want you to talk to me rather than ignore me. i would rather you scream and yell angrily at how mad you are than have you say nothing to me for the whole evening,” jude said making you look up and nod, agreeing with him.
“i kid you not, i was ready to buy you the full bookstore and bring you a serenade to apologize,” he exaggerated making you laugh and look up at him once again. “not knowing how you’re feeling is the worst stress, especially cause of me… so please don’t make me go through that again…”
“don’t give me the reason too and i won’t,” you remind him, pointing your finger in his face to make things clear. jude saluted letting you know he understands and will play from the rules from now on. “okay now kiss me, because i really really really missed you today…”
“it would be my pleasure. i’m going to take you to bed first, show my beautiful girlfriend why she deserves every ounce of my attention…”
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For the blurb reader dealing with the hate of dating a driver and them comforting her.
MRS. ALL AMERICAN, but make it a blurb
well, it may be a few months later, but here it is!! i so hope you love it rena 😔🙏🏻 also im living up to that conversation we had about me dropping things without warning 😼 this also lowkey made me wanna start writing again so 👀
MRS. ALL AMERICAN | SMAU (i’d suggest reading this before you read the blurb!)
Initially, the comments didn’t bother you. In fact, you found yourself amused at many of them, being so unbelievably absurd and far from the truth. A part of you also know it was inevitable. The internet is cruel, and along with that, your relationship moved much faster than most in this day and age. So, for the time being, it wasn’t hard to just ignore them, especially since you were so certain that Alex would be your endgame. To which, he is.
Now, months later, with rings on your fingers, there’s not a shred of doubt in your mind, regarding your relationship with Alex. It’s only getting better by the day, and you couldn’t ask for a better partner. That being said, the comments didn’t stop. Frankly, you’ve started to think they’re getting worse, and unfortunately, it’s becoming harder for you to ignore them.
Alex is not oblivious to your shift in mood. He can see it clearly, especially now as he gazes at you from across the table. His eyes glance down to your hands, watching you pick apart the food on your plate, food that you usually would be ‘going to town on’ (as logan says). His brows furrow as he looks at your face, his heart sinking at the strange sadness that lingers within your expression.
“Are you okay?” He asks softly, eyes meeting yours when you look at him. You swallow a lump in your throat, one you didn’t even realize was there, before answering him. “Yeah,” you respond flatly, huffing briefly. Your chest is tight, leaving you to feel like you can’t suck in enough air. Your response isn’t exactly what Alex hoped to hear, the man being slightly stumped on what to do or say.
He waits a few moments, but the longer you both sit in silence, the more the whole situation weighs on the both of you. “You can talk to me,” Alex assures you, eyes hopeful that you’ll open up to him. You sigh, setting your fork down. You lean forward, resting your arms on the table to close the distance between you and him, and he mirrors your movements, making it feel as if you both are in a more private setting.
“It’s just,” you pause, trying to think of how to word things. “The comments — they’re getting worse, I think,” you say it quietly, the aforementioned lump returning to your throat. Alex’s expression softens, and he simply nods. “Yeah,” he responds. Before anything else can be said, the waitress is at your table, and after confirming that you’re done eating, Alex asks for the bill.
By the time you’re walking out of the restaurant and headed to the car, you’re almost in tears. You squeeze Alex’s hand in yours, unintentionally bumping into his side as you walk to the car. When you do finally reach it, he guides you to the passenger side, but rather than opening the door, he engulfs you in a hug. Just like that, the tears begin to fall from your eyes, and you hug him back, nuzzling your face into his jacket. He doesn’t say anything yet, and just rests his head on yours, his hand soothingly rubbing your back.
He waits until your crying slows, then kisses your head. “I’m sorry about the comments - I know it’s hard,” he says against your hair, and you just nod in response, hugging him impossibly tighter. “You smell good,” you say quietly, lifting the mood slightly. He chuckles, making the corners of your lips pull upwards. “Thank you,” he hums. You look up at him, a small smile on your lips. Even though there’s still weight on your shoulders, you can’t help the smile, or the way your heart speeds up when you look at him.
He tilts his head down and presses a kiss against your lips - a soft, short one. “I wish I could do more,” he says earnestly, resting his forehead on yours. “I know,” you respond, knowing that he probably needs some reassurance too.
A few moments pass, the both of you stood there in comfortable silence with your eyes closed, soft gusts of wind breezing past you. Alex inhales, then pulls away, but doesn’t go too far just yet. “I just hope you know that everything they say is complete bullshit, and that i’m genuinely so happy with you,” He says, his eyes glimmering with honesty in a way that makes your heart squeeze in your chest. “Me too,” you respond, pressing another kiss to his lips. Slowly, the lingering weight on your shoulders finally dissipates as Alex opens the passenger door, holding your hand until you’re in the seat. He bends down, a silly grin on his face. “I love you so much,” he says, making you smile. “I love you.” you respond, watching as he closes the door, then walks around the car, taking his place in the drivers seat.
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#✩ . aa²³ files 🏎️#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#formula one fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 smau#f1 x female reader#formula one social media au#formula one smau#formula one blurbs#alex albon x reader#alex albon x you#alex albon x y/n
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Liquid smooth ꒱ ࣪𓂂 ׅ
꒰ synthesis - With a new girlfriend, Ellie no longer has time for you ꒰ Warnings - Angst , Just r! being sad, ( after this im done with bsf angst bro trustt 😔 ) ꒰ Word count - 0.6k ꒰ Now playing - Liquid Smooth - Mitski ‼️ WAYS TO HELP PALESTINE ‼️
How I feel this river rushing through my veins With nowhere else to go, it circles 'round
You huffed as you sat in the couch. Picking up your phone , you checked to see if Ellie had texted you yet. Nothing. You felt yourself slump lower in your seat. This had been the 5th time this week that she had cancelled. At first you didnt mind as much , she had a girlfriend and she needed time for her. And you understood that. But when it happened multiple timed to the point you and Ellie hadnt talked for a week. You were heartbroken
Not to mention the heartbreak that came with loving Ellie , your best friend. But the heartbreak of knowing she couldn’t hang out with you for the exact reason — she had a girlfriend.
Your phone suddenly buzzed as you got a text from none other than Ellie. “ Hey sorry I cant come again I have to help cat with something , we can hang out tomorrow though!” You felt anger rush through your vains and you read the text. You texted her a quick , “okay” before getting the popcorn you had prepared from the microwave.
Meanwhile Ellie was having the best time and honestley , her life couldn’t be better. But at the same time , she felt the need to see you again. She missed holding you in her arms. But at the same time , she had her girlfriend. And it was that exact reason that she felt the need not to hang out with you anymore. But it was the fact that throughout this whole ordeal,Ellie didn’t know how you felt. And you knew you couldn’t tell her.
The next morning , you woke up to the sound of
Someone knocking on your door. Rubbing your eyes , you turned to the door and walked over. Unlocking it , you opened it seeing — Ellie. She looked up meeting your eyes. She tried to talk , but no words came out. You felt your heart stop for a second before you spoke.
“ Ellie what are you doing here?,” you sounded cold , almost nervous. But in reality, you were trying to hide the nervousness you felt. Ellie’s breath hitched as she opened her mouth to speak once again. And luckily words came out of her mouth. “ Can I come in, I wanted to talk to you,” her voice was shaking. Why was she nervous? Opening the door you stepped back giving her space to come in.
“So what did you need to talk about?” You asked leading her to the couch.
“ I um — wanted to apologize for ditching you yesterday,” Ellie spoke.“ It wasn’t right of me to ditch you.. I hope we can-“ but before she could finish her sentence, her phone buzzed from inside of her pocket. Upon opening her phone she realized it was a call from Cat. Her face morphed into a look of guilt. “ why did cat have to be calling at this time out of anytime “ Ellie thought to herself.
“It seems important you should answer-“ but before you could continue your sentence, Ellie was already mumbling another apology and leaving through the door. As soon as the door shut , you felt the quietness that was within the room.
Getting into your bed , you slipped your headphone’s over your head , and pressed play on your playlist. You were peacefully laying down The song “ I was all over her “ Started playing. Your phone had buzzed with a text from Ellie , but by the time you opened your phone to checked it , you were already asleep.
#ellie x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x abby anderson#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie the last of us
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Hii!! 🧚♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾
Really liked your last work, so here i am again
Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?
Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess
I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬
Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃♂️
HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊
anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨
no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁
for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:
i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.
i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better
#dontbottleupyouremotions
ANYWAY:
this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊
grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3
Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3
It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)
Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.
So then how do the brothers react?
LUCIFER
Great. Two Mammons.
At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.
Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)
This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.
He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,
He is a demon, after all. ;)
MAMMON
Finally. Someone who cries more than him!
It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.
Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.
You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'
Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.
LEVIATHAN
He blanks.
One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.
You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.
Leviathan PANICKS.
Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.
Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.
You might make him start crying as well :(
SATAN
Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.
He's just glad you cry over positive things :)
His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)
Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.
He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.
He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)
ASMODEUS
He thinks you're adorable.
Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3
If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3
If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.
BEELZEBUB
He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.
Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.
Only in serious serious situations will he cry.
So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)
Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?
He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.
He feels you with that.
Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.
Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.
BELPHEGOR
He laughs at you.
Point blank.
Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.
But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.
This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.
Which you do.
I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh
#obey me shall we date#obey me imagines#obey me x reader#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#omswd#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me mc#obey me fluff
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WIPING ZB1’s KISSES OFF
pairing zb1 (ot8) x gn!reader
genre fluff
masterlist<3
— zhang hao
he thought he wasn't giving enough affection ☹️
so he gave you a kiss !
and then you wiped it off and he was like ‘🤨’
didn't ask though cause he assumed you unconsciously did that
so he placed another on your forehead 😗
and you wiped it off.. again.
didn't say much to that either and just left you alone 😃😃
he thought he was annoying you 😭
“well.. i’ll be over here if you need my kisses”
— sung hanbin
he always kisses you 🤭
it's a part of his daily routine
so when you wiped off his morning kiss
he was devastated 😰
how was he gonna start his day off good now???
instantly grabs your hands and asks you what's wrong
kisses your knuckles 😳
you didn't say anything and he's already apologizing (even if he didn't do anything)
“whatever i did, i’m sorry.. forgive me?” ☹️
— seok matthew
whenever he arrives home, he kisses you
why? cause he knows you miss him 😙
so when he came home today already puckering his lips
he saw you on your sofa, on your phone so he placed a soft kiss on your cheek 💋
and you wiped it off
"did you miss m- what was that for?"
already pouty 🫢
sits right next to you with crossed arms and a pout
but then you reveal to him that it was a joke and kiss him
he instantly melts 🫠
“unnecessary but you’re cute so it’s okay!”
— shen ricky
ricky isn’t the type to usually give kisses randomly yk
so when it does happen, you take full advantage 👍
but this time, you just wiped it off
he’s slowly blinking, trying to process wtf just happened 😐
“um.. okay?”
he has no idea what to do cause usually he’s the one that makes you flustered
now he’s the one thats flustered 😃
he looked so cute that you just had to give in and pepper him w kisses 🥰
“oh thank god! i thought i lost my rizz!” 😨
— park gunwook
doesn’t have a specific time when he kisses you
he just does ykyk
he’s loves kissing you and absolutely adores your reactions to his kisses 😊
so when you wiped one of them off, his whole world shut down 😔
his life flashed before his eyes
he thinks you’re gonna break up w him ☹️
so he prepares a whole long ass speech on why you should stay in his mind
he just stands there, fiddling with his fingers 🧍
he looks so sad and you couldn’t do that to him
“wait.. how did i fall for that?!”
en garde flashbacks 😭😭
— kim taerae
he’s the type of guy that when he sees you, he gives a kiss 🤭
so he gives them quite often
you just came back from work and taerae instantly goes up to you
boops your nose and places a kiss on it 😚
when you wipe it off, he just gets confused
he’s like: no, you’re not leaving without my kisses!
cups your cheeks and proceeds to kiss your entire face 🫠
you had to force him to stop
“hey! where are you going?? i’m not done!” 😓
— kim gyuvin
while he might be one to touch your face and poke your cheeks alot
i don’t think he kisses them often 😦
so when he does and you wipe it off
he’s FLABBERGASTED 😧
like how dare you wipe off his precious kiss 😤
“two can play that game”
gives you the silent treatment
you sit next to him? he moves to another place
you text him? leaves you on read
it wasn’t until you hugged him and apologised profusely 🙏
instantly melts into your hug and kisses your forehead 🤗
“ill let you off just this once” 🫡
— kim jiwoong
will kiss you at any place and at any time 🫣
he knows you love them so he does it very very very often
when you wipe it off, he doesn’t say anything 😐
just kisses you again
and you wipe it off.. again
“did i do something?” 🙁
genuinely thinks he hurt you
won’t let you go until he knows you’re fine
you say that you are fine and that it was a joke
he doesn’t believe you 😭😭
then he asks for permission to kiss you, it’s cute
“im sorry if i did anything to hurt you, can i kiss you?” 🥰
© keiwook | 2023
#💫—keiwook workz#zb1#zerobaseone#zb1 reactions#zb1 scenarios#zb1 fluff#zb1 x reader#zb1 drabbles#zb1 imagines#zb1 zhanghao#zb1 sung hanbin#zb1 hanbin#zb1 seok matthew#zb1 matthew#zb1 ricky#zb1 shen ricky#zb1 gunwook#zb1 park gunwook#zb1 kim taerae#zb1 taerae#zb1 kim gyuvin#zb1 gyuvin#zb1 kim jiwoong#zb1 jiwoong#zb1 han yujin#zb1 yujin#boys planet imagines#boys planet reactions#boys planet#boys planet scenarios
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noelle holiday age progression chart
without height lines
explanations of designs:
hi yall
so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!
its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁
i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)
first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!
secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!
also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!
now onto my explainations for individual drawings!
theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^
this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.
7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P
11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part
okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.
this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too
for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again
finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^
i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪
#art#my art#digital art#deltarune#noelle holiday#deltarune noelle#age chart#age progression chart#progression chart#finally did this#(i mentioned doing it awhile ago)#im kinda mixed on my feelings about this#but if yalls wanna know about that i talk all out it!#this took forever lol#also#trans#transgender#trans noelle#gotta love transbian noelle ^^
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wanna write something about our favorite man but don't know what ? don't have any prompts ?
do not worry, im here.
im just a fellow reader, who enjoys a little too much angst and fluff with sad boys (simon im talking about you baby), so yeah i wanna read more, and the refresh button is now broken bcuz there isn't enough fics !!!! and pls free to tag me in your works, ill be glad to read it and everything <3 enough talking ;
AND it's not necessarily quality it's even cliché or seen and seen again, it's just what i would like to read cuz im a hopeless lover.
__________
PILLOWTALK !!! there is not enough of pillowalk scenarios here, not something long but like short and efficient pls pls pls pls
bonus if simon is slightly drunk, so he talks a little more, going so far as to voluntarily say stupid things to hear you laugh, or get a little kiss to make him shut up the nonsense cuz now he's being adorably silly, but hey, he loves it, so he'll do even more and maybe a make out session or idk maybe ... but drunk!simon needs to be studied fr
__________
MORE DOMESTIC THINGS TO DO TOGETHER! (and yes im screaming rn)
im thinking of when he calls reader from the bathroom to get help with his haircut. you know he can do it himself, he was doing fine before he met you. but something about having you so close to him, feeling your fairy fingers caressing his scalp, your bewitching smell. all these things make him absolutely need you. no need to explain more.
people, write domestic things, simon needs a little love and calm of a simple life. 😔
___________
something i saw with another character in another fandom a long time ago but it was so cute that i want, no
I NEED the same thing with simon.
when you need to go to the bathroom, or you're so sick that you have to spend hours and hours in it, simon always goes with you when you first move into your apartment together, to stay with you by the door. you always make small talk, and you're not even embarrassed anymore because it's become a normal thing in your relationship. but simon follows you everywhere, literally, because hey, you're the love of his life so why spend a minute away from you ?
___________
you and ghost had a fight when you came back from a mission that was dangerous for you. the team decides to go to a bar next to the base, to celebrate this mission that was still successful. and this, despite the obvious tensions between you two. the shots keep coming, the alcohol gets to your head, and the euphoria of the evening only enhances your beauty, which obviously attracts suitors to take you for the night. simon's reaction is up to you, jealous, angry, indifferent (but not too much)
so yeah, I need to see jealousy possessiveness hardness unconditional love (but not in a yandere way lol)
___________
your evening always ends in front of the TV together. to make an assessment of your day, to tell the last gossips, to take stock of the shopping at the supermarket to be done tomorrow whatever!
tonight it was the sound of the TV that won, you were both silent because very tired! but the caresses, your fingers intertwining, the glances in corner, and the shadow of a smile on the discovered face of simon were there more important than the broadcast program. it's innocent, loving, light, sweet, like a little game. it's like teenagers afraid to be discovered by adults. do you get the vibe ?
something cute, not necessarily nsfw, but AHHH im so in love with him why
____________
reader is annoyed with simon for x reasons (it's up to you), she starts to hit him on the chest, to insult him, the sobs mix with her anger and it becomes difficult to understand clearly what she reproaches to simon. this one, takes everything, says nothing, and makes everything to appear indifferent and impassive to his crisis of nerves, but in the bottom he is afraid and feels terribly guilty to have put his beloved in this state. accentuate on the difference of size and strength between the two, the blows inflicted to Simon are only vulgar small fags on the arm or the chest. how is he going to make it up to them ? is he going to try to calm reader down, or let them continue until they are exhausted?
______________
if reader's native language is not basic english, then I absolutely must see simon being in awe every time reader speaks their language. the admiration and love is in his eyes, whether he wears the balaclava or not, whether his eyes are painted black or not, everyone can see that he only has unconditional love which multiplies by ten (when it is already infinite) when he hears your beautiful voice saying words he doesn't understand.
bonus point if simon makes every effort to learn your language and communicate with you. if you listen carefully you will see simon whispering some words after you, while you are engaged in a conversation with someone.
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you know what ? i would love to see a monologue from simon where he talks about reader (because someone asked if he had a partner) little anecdotes, his description of u (personality not physical so we want something inclusive!!!), but most of all HIS LOVE for us. cuz he's so in love, like the only time he talks surprisingly much is when he has to do a briefing of the missions, or when he talks about you, because you're such an amazing person and simon is so in love, and our baby has never received as much love and peace and serenity as he does with you, and does he really deserve it? to be with someone like you? to feel so good in your arms, to kiss you every time he meets your gaze, to lure him to show his colleagues, his friends, shit to the whole world love,
NO, AH, I don't have the words but the word love is now too weak to describe it all. in short you understand me.
#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon x reader#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost headcanons#cod x reader
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Hello again. Sorry to hear school is stressing you out!! I know there are people who want a super dramatic love confession or realization (and I think it would be fitting and make a lot of sense particularly because of how neither buck nor Eddie seem to think about it a lot when they have their domestic moments) but I think it would be super cute if we have a scene in the kitchen (love is stored in the kitchen)(I love Buddie moments in the kitchen I apologize) where buck and Eddie are just talking while buck cooks or Eddie cleans or something and the other is sitting there just watching as they go about the kitchen maybe buck is talking about whatever he’s been reading about or listening to while Eddie listens occasionally throwing in a comment or joke and you can just feel the ease and love in the interaction and Eddie realizes that this is what he’s always wanted. This is how he’s always wanted to feel about his exs. That buck in his space feels more normal and easy then anything he’s ever done with even Shannon. He either sits on it freaking out a bit or just softly tells Buck he loves him because he needs buck to know that he is loved (that don’t really fit the scene I laid out it would definitely fit better in a situation where buck is full with self doubt and hurt and Eddie needs buck to hear him (because, Evan type thing) and understand that it doesn’t matter if everyone is against Buck because Eddie lives him no matter what but that is why I don’t normally talk about this or write fics. My brain goes everywhere and nowhere or makes things to sappy or sad😔 anyway). I go back and forth on who I want to confess/ kiss the other first but either way I would love a soft kitchen scene
Anyway I would love to hear some ways you think buddie could get together that you think don’t get enough attention or what one of you’re favorite ways it happened was and I hope school gets better!! I hope the state of the fandom isn’t adding any stress🩵🩵 have a good day/ night
I love this song and hope you will to!! I think it’s cute and j like to imagine a scene where buck and eddie get home and fall in bed next each other just completely wiped but can’t quite fall asleep so they just turn resting their forehead together with their eyes closed (or with one or both just tracing the others face with their eyes while they just talk(🤭) to each other letting the comfort of them just breathing the same air calm their nerves until they both just slowly let sleep take them under until they have to go pick Chris up from school
https://open.spotify.com/track/14Lmwi0Quf5tHfsINcYdzi?si=1b6reg8JT_2mGvXFic9sfQ
Enjoy and feel better!! Sorry I didn’t send one sooner I was busy and then I could find a song that for the energy?? Anyways hope you don’t mind me sending a long ask and song again (also sorry I’m kinda a whore for forehead touches and kisses)
bestie im so sorry im just now getting to this one ik it’s been sitting in my inbox since yesterday but i had to scroll back through my account to find a specific post and it toom forever but i found it
I talk here about my kind of “ideal” way for buddie to go canon in s8 in a similar way, but i think having their fist onscreen kiss be in eddie’s kitchen is an absolute must have
but i really do love the idea of them getting together in such a normal casual way bc it would be so refreshing for the show to not make it a THING and just have it be like “yeah, this is right, this makes sense.” and like don’t get me wrong i will take buddie canon however they give it to us, but i like thinking about the soft casual non-dramatic moments too.
I am also a slut for soft forhead touches and i will be suing abc and tim minear for emotional distress if they don’t give us some buddie forehead touches or couch cuddles soon bc it is a psychological need at this point
also i can’t wait to give the song a listen <3
#911 abc#911#911 on abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#buddie 911#buck and eddie#911 buddie#buddie headcanons#buddie canon#buddie speculation
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please give me your iwaoi fanfic recs 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Help I'm so dead. I just freaking deleted my iwaoi recs list and now I have to make it again 🥲🥲🥲 freaking Tumblr. You guys better eat this up cause im remaking this all over again. Okay anyways, ver 2: my iwaoi fanfic recs list:
(Not in any particular order, most have smut, all can be found on ao3)
1.) Coffee king- oiivkawa- the starting point for my love of cafe au's, best coffee au fanfic ever period, so so so fluffy, oikawa is the cutest cafe server and he falls HARD for the cafe's new kind-of-regular, Iwaizumi
https://archiveofourown.org/works/10721739/chapters/23756658
2.) Wedding ring- crazychipmunk- angst, heart-rending, surprisingly made me cry, happy ending tho, super good angsty iwaoi fanfic, I promise its not ALL angst tho😭, it's super fluffy too
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393174/chapters/61577038
3.) The courtship ritual of the Hercules beetle- kittebasu- bugs? Oikawa is still a nerd its just for bugs now, I'm just gonna copy and paste the summary cause I love it and it sums it up perfectly: "Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right." I love fics like this that preserve the characteristics of the characters even though it has nothing to do with volleyball
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6422014/chapters/14701168
4.) That's your husband?!- a_very_smolfrog- just😌🤌, iwaoi being simps, oikawa is a physics professor and iwa is a volleyball coach au, makki is iconic as always, iwaoi being the iconic: childhood friends to lovers and we adore eachother but we will definitely expose eachother if need be trope, I'm so sad this is so short (2000 words), it should've been longer😔, I adore them all
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412615
5.) Conquering the great king- suggestivescribe- this fic is actually so iconic, just perfection at its max tbh, just iwaoi being iwaoi but make it smutty and make it at the office, iwa is an editor and tbh I don't remember or know what kawa is, it's some office job, not kuroo being a slay as always, honestly has to be one of the best iwaoi fanfics of all time
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3301085?view_full_work=true
6.) Until the sky opens up- iwaoidk- the summary lowkey did them dirty, not really tho cause I still read it😋🙄 but this was way better than I thought it was going to be, like iwaoi accidentally gets kissed by every member in his team, I'm still convinced that they did all that to make oikawa GET A MOVE ON, oikawa confesses and he's a little dense but so is iwa so whatever, they're perfect for eachother like that😻
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008225
7.) Looks like it- ivyfics- iwaoi have been dating for a while now, they just didn't know it, iwa is very competitive in his knowledge on tooru, cute and short, recommend if you want something to speed read for some lighthearted fluff
https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729118
8.) Six month lover- afuzzyowl- I'm gonna be completely honest, I haven't finished this fic yet BUT I PROMISE ITS NOT CAUSE IT WAS BORING, IT WAS SO GOOD, I just never got to finishing it cause I was busy but thinking about this fic makes me actually want to finish it, oikawa makes iwaizumi a PowerPoint presentation on why they should date, oikawa is absolutely utterly in love with iwaizumi (same, like who isn't?), oikawa is trying to convince his best friend to fall for him, I adored this and now I need to go finish it, edit: HELP IM BASICALLY FINISHED AND ITS SO GOOD BEHESKJSA ITS SO SO SO GOOD I CANNOT EVEN FIND THR WORDS
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100501/chapters/32488506
9.) Kilometer zero- internetpistol (orphan_account)- a classic iwaoi fic, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn, it's just them in a class well done iwaoi fic, there's nothing else to say, it was really good, "just gay yearning"- the author's ao3 tag
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732224/chapters/70448769
10.) The Pda jar- orphan_account- iwaoi is obliviously in love, everyone knows it but them and they're all tired of their pda so they make a pda jar, it's really the only way to make them see their idiocy😌, this is why I love aoba johsai folks, live love laugh seijoh, highkey hilarious
https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230951
#here you guys go!#sorry for procrastinating while making this😭#iwaoi fanfics#haikyuu fanfics#iwaoi fanfic recommendations#haikyuu fanfic rec#haikyuu fanfic recommendation#haikyuu#iwaoi#iwaizumixoikawa
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bite the hand (chapter 8)
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
pairing: spider-woman!oc x miguel o’hara
summary: lorena's whole world was taken away from her in the blink of an eye, after she accidentally broke a canon event. lucky for her though, she was able to find a portal watch in her dimension and used it to get out before she glitched out of existence. unfortunately though, running from dimension to dimension, she's been named as an anomaly by the spider society. now, she's constantly on the run from them, their leader in particular. when she eventually gets caught though, she's recruited onto a mission to catch another anomaly who might be from her past. to her dismay though, her partner on this mission is her very captor. will she be able to stop arguing with him for long enough to get the job done?
info: enemies to lovers, maybe a slow burn depending on chapter count, oc is 24 and miguel is 27, both oc and miguel are super sad lmao, they're also both super violent so, they also hate each other what a slay, in regards to my oc you can read her character sheet right here
warnings: there might be spoilers for atsv in this so watch the movie before reading this, i made up some weird rules for miguel's suit and idk if theyre entirely accurate to canon so just go with it, tension lol, cursing, drinking
word count: 3.4k
notes: i gotta start repeating the banners at the top cause i ran out LMAO. also, expect less frequent uploads cause 1) i kinda have low motivation rn and 2) im pretty busy rn (going out, vacations, and doing job applications). writing also gets a little draining for me after a while and i gotta put me first😔✊ ill keep uploading though dw i just gotta do it at my own speed to make sure i dont drop the series cause if i try to push stuff out too fast, im gonna end up dropping it so just bear with me lol. also i didn't proofread this before posting cause its 3:30 when im dropping this, and im so tired lmao
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It was the sun that slithered into the room through the cracks in the blinds that woke her up. Lorena preferred that to the normal wakeup call from a nightmare, or the sounds of honking cars next to her on the street. The way the bed had molded itself to her shape made it impossible for her to move. Almost like it was trapping her in its comfort. Even if the mattress was old, the fact that this had been her first time sleeping in an actual bed, and not a bench, sidewalk, or cot, in months was enough to provide her ease.
She turned to face the other side of the bed, surprised when no one was in sight. Miguel was probably in the bathroom or something. She was more focused on a different fact: this had been the first sleep in weeks without a nightmare.
Huh. Weird.
She sat up in bed, noticing she was still in her robe from the bathroom. She rubbed the drowsiness off her face as the click of the door lock called her attention. Letting in a stream of early sunlight with him, Miguel walked through the door, pitch black sunglasses covering his eyes, a box in one hand, and a cup tray in the other. “Figured you’d be hungry when you woke up,” he said once he noticed she was awake. He softly kicked the door closed behind him, setting the tray on the desk near the door and the box on the bed.
Pulled by curiosity, she moved her hands towards the box and opened it to see what was inside. Her mouth immediately started watering when she opened it to see assorted treats such as conchas, bigotes, and mantecadas. “I was in the mood,” Miguel said, pulling the drinks out of the tray. “I didn’t know how much cream or sugar you liked so I just got you black cause that's what I get,” he said, handing the hot cup of coffee to her.
The smell of the pastries mixed with the coffee was enough to make her want to cry. It reminded of the smells of her aunt’s kitchen in the morning. The bitterness of the coffee stung at her throat, but it was overshadowed by the comfort it brought her. She picked up one of the bigotes, and had to hold back her tears of joy when she took a bite. “Gracias por todo,” she said, mouth full of food and covered in sugar. Miguel smiled at the sight of her. “De nada, cariño,” he said sweetly, taking one of the conchas for himself.
As he walked away with his food, towards the bathroom, Lorena noticed something about him. “Where’d you get the clothes?” she asked, mouth still filled with food. He was now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. “It’s part of my suit,” he responded, fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror. “¿Cómo?” He sighed. “Remember what I said about the whole nanotech thing last night?�� “Yeah, what about it?” Suddenly, the shirt and sweatpants shifted into his blue and red suit just before her eyes. “Woah…” she exclaimed in awe. “I can change its appearance as long as the outfit is downloaded to my suit’s database.” “Oh,” Lorena expressed, even if she still didn’t fully understand what he was talking about.
“Why’d you get to be born in the crazy, futuristic dimension with all the fancy tech,” she complained to herself, just loud enough for Miguel to hear. “Why, do you want one?” he asked, in between a small chuckle. “I mean it would be nice to wear something other than a tight spandex suit for once,” Lorena joked, getting an actual laugh out of Miguel for once. Lorena blushed and smiled at his reaction. “Well lucky for you, you’re gonna need one for tonight,” he responded. “What do you mean?” she asked, after taking a sip from her coffee.
He tossed her a small, golden chain. “The outfit should form around that chain. I had Lyla upload different outfits for the day, since she probably knows better than I do. When you’re ready, put it on.” Lorena admired the golden material. She was lucky she wasn’t a silver jewelry girl. “So what’s on the to-do list for today,” she said, still looking at the chain. “Stay undercover for the majority of the day, then head over to the Moonlit River club at night. Lyla should have that outfit uploaded by now,” he responded, brushing his teeth with the provided amenities in the motel.
“Why, are you finally deciding to take me out dancing to pay me for my troubles,” she joked, taking a sip of coffee after. Miguel spit out his toothpaste and sighed. “Brock meets up there on Thursday nights to trade weapons.”
Silence filled the space between them.
She knew this day had to come. She just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.
“I see,” was all she could manage to say, before taking another sip of her coffee.
Miguel could feel the turmoil radiating off of her from the bathroom. He washed out his mouth, and splashed a bit of water on his face before walking over to her. He pushed the box of pastries to the side, and took a seat in front of her on the sheets.
“Mirarme,” he softly spoke, using his pointer finger to guide her eyes to his. She looked up at him, trying her best not to get lost in the crimson shade of his eyes. “I-” He cut himself off before he could continue. He melded her hand into his before speaking again. “I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I want you to know that if this becomes too much for you…you can back out.” His inflection was weird. As if he didn’t want her to, but still wanted to keep her comfortable. A wrestling match between what he wanted and what was best for her.
“And I’ve said it before too. I’m not running away from this,” Lorena said back, voice strong. “Ok. Just know if things get bad for you in there, I’ve got your back,” he said, concern in his voice. He had also found his eyes roaming her face, not realizing they had both subconsciously moved closer to each other. “And I’ve got yours too,” she said back. Once he had realized Lorena’s robe was loose enough to see inside to her chest, Miguel cleared his throat and got up from the bed quickly.
“I’m gonna go into town, see if I can pick up any information on the street. You can do whatever you want until its time, but make sure to-” “Yeah, yeah, lay low. Relax big guy, I’ve got this,” she cut him off, reassuringly. He exited the room quickly, like he was in a rush to get away from her. He was gone for almost the rest of the day.
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About 8pm that night.
Miguel was outside in the main room of the motel while Lorena was getting herself ready in the bathroom. Miguel had gone out earlier and bought her some cheap makeup and perfume from a local drugstore, a sweet gesture.
Once she finished with her makeup and straightening up her hair, she tapped on the middle part of her gold chain, causing a menu to pop up. She scrolled through the options until she came across the last one, labeled by Lyla as “night time😉”. She clicked on the option, as she watched in awe as her casual t-shirt and sweatpants shifted into her outfit for the night. A tight black dress, cut asymmetrically to show one of her thighs, and a turtle neck part detached from the rest of the dress, with glove-like sleeves. This feature allowed for the perfect peephole towards her chest. Lorena had a feeling Lyla would try to do some matchmaking with her outfit.
With a quick spritz of perfume, a double check of her face in the mirror, and quickly putting on a black headband for her hair, Lorena quickly exited the bathroom. Miguel was standing there, waiting by the door and checking his portal watch. He was sporting a black, silk, button up shirt, tucked into black dress pants. The fact that the shirt was way too tight for him was accentuated by his muscles sculpted by the fabric and the fact that the first two buttons were open. His eye was caught by Lorena when she stepped out of the bathroom, his mouth slightly agape in awe and his eyes almost stuck to her.
“It’s flashy, I know. But it’s better that I fit in,” she said, trying to divide the tension in the room as she walked closer to him. “I-...um,” he stammered. “At a loss for words for once O’Hara?” she teased. Noticing a stray hair on the top of his head, she reached up to him to push it back. “Quédate quieto,” she commanded softly, while she stuck the piece back into the gel, trying to ignore how he was admiring her.
“There you go. Ahora te ves guapo,” she teased, patting his chest with her hand. Miguel still had that stupid smile on his face. “Y te ves hermosa,” he said softly, and with utter sincerity.
She couldn’t tell if she was caught more off guard with his words of affirmation, or the fact that the blush quickly forming on her cheeks was confirming her secret love of it.
Clearing her throat, she unlocked the door, opened it, and gestured her hand to outside. “Lead the way big guy.” He smirked at her as he walked outside. He even got the courage to offer her his hand. This confidence was quickly deflated when she smacked away his hand, giggling to herself as she took the lead down the stairs.
The night life of the city was bustling on the streets. Couples together, arm in arm, surely walking to a fancy restaurant for a night out. Lines forming outside of nightclubs, patrons with an urgency to get in. Everyone walking down the street with their own story to tell, just like Lorena.
After walking for a couple of miles, the bright, neon blue sign shone in front of the entrance. The door was a mahogany red, with three stairs leading down to the entrance. But opposite to Miguel’s eagerness to get inside by opening the door, Lorena slightly froze, eyes blank.
This was it. It was going to happen. Whether she was ready or not.
“Hey.” Miguel’s calm voice pulled her back to reality. “Stay with me. Okay?” He held out his large hand for her. This time, she decided to take it. “And remember to try and fit in,” he added. Her smile quickly turned sour and annoyed.
The atmosphere was loud, a mixture of people talking and the bass of the music filling the room. The fact that the lights were out didn’t seem to matter much with the amount of strobe and neon lights flashing within the bar. Lorena noticed Miguel quickly putting on a pair of sunglasses hidden in his jacket pocket. “I thought you said we needed to fit in,” Lorena stated as the two walked towards a high top near the bar. “I did. And?” “You really think you’re blending in with a pair of sunglasses on indoors? At night? In a club?” Lorena joked. “The lights hurt my eyes,” Miguel said, puppy dog hurt. Lorena had to fight to contain the laughter rising in her chest.
Once they sat down, and the reality of events settled down on Lorena, she began to look around the club. People sprayed out on couches, drunkenly conversing or making out. People out on the dance floor. Men walking into booths in the back, shielded by curtains. Eddie was probably in one of those. “I’m heading to the bar. You want anything?” Miguel asked, snapping her out of her daze. “Uhhhh, just get me something strong,” she brushed off, still not entirely paying attention. He shrugged and walked off to the bar.
Lorena continued to inspect the area, her thoughts bouncing all over the place. What did this Eddie look like? Did he have black hair instead? Was his voice higher? Her Eddie always had a particularly deep tone. Smooth like silk as well. She would spend days on end focusing on the way he would say a single sentence back when she was first crushing on him. Would he act like her Eddie? She realized quickly she probably wouldn’t get the opportunity to find out. She didn’t necessarily want to find out anyways.
…
Would she have to kill him again? Would Miguel make her?
The smack of the glass on the table brought her back to reality. “You weren’t really specific, so I just got you a negroni,” Miguel said, open bottle of beer in his hand. Without a second thought, Lorena downed half the glass just then, proven to be a mistake with how strong the drink actually was. Her mouth curled inwards as her eyes shut closed, letting out a few coughs quickly after.
Miguel laughed slightly, and slammed his hand against her back to help her cough. “What the fuck was that?” “Hey, you told me to get you something strong!” Miguel defended. “I thought you were gonna get me a margarita or something,” Lorena said, rubbing her chest with her hand. “Haven’t had alcohol in more than a year and you hit me with that straight away,” she said to herself. Subconsciously, he handed her his bottle. “Take a sip of that then.” She smiled to herself as she put her lips to the bottle and took a good sip of the beer. “Better?” he asked, like she was a child. “Yes, thank you for your charity sir, you’re so kind,” she responded sarcastically.
“Find anything interesting yet?” Miguel asked, taking back the bottle. Lorena’s eyes went back to the curtains. “Those booths back there look promising. Are we sure he’s here yet though?” Lorena asked. “I have a hunch.” Lorena looked up at Miguel, annoyance on her face. “We’re going…off of a hunch?” “Just trust me on this okay.” Lorena sighed and took another sip of her own drink, wincing again when she put it back down.
Her eyes were drawn away from the drapes and over to the lit up dance floor. She had always been the first one to bring her friends to dance with her when she was younger. Seeing it again brought feelings flooding back to her heart. Spontaneously, she jumped up from her chair and held out her hand to Miguel. “...What are you doing?” he asked, incredibly confused.
“You said we had to blend in, right? We’ll do that better if we’re out there dancing,” she said. “Oh, no way. I don’t dance, chiquita,” he said, almost embarrassed. “Oh come on, for someone with your build? You’ve definitely danced before. Don’t be a debby downer Miggy,” she encouraged, both of them caught slightly off guard by the nickname slip. He rolled his head back, wiped his hands over his face, and let out a deep, annoyed groan. Once he stood up though and took her hand, it was impossible for Lorena to lose the smile growing on her face. “You’re taking the lead though, Loré,” he said, having come up with a nickname for her as well. She hoped the sunglasses he had on would keep him from seeing the blush on her face.
…
They didn’t.
Hand in hand, Lorena led Miguel over to the brightly lit floor, music blasting in the speakers next to them. Miguel stook out like a sore thumb, his huge build making him extremely identifiable among the other strangers on the floor. Lorena fit right in though, immediately beginning to dance to the blasting music. Miguel tried his best to copy her moves, but ended up looking like a fool. “You were right, you really aren’t that good at this,” Lorena teased. “Ha ha, very funny,” Miguel said monotonically. As the music changed slowly to a slower pace, they noticed the people around them grouping to dance into a pairs. She looked up to Miguel. He raised his eyebrow at her, asking her without words. Her smile was confirmation, as they inched towards each other.
Almost as if they were pre-programmed to do so, Lorena wrapped her arms around Miguel’s neck, and his wrapped around her hips. They swayed together slowly to the music, melting into each others touch. He rested his head on her shoulder, his hot breath leaving goosebumps on her skin.
“This isn’t my wheelhouse,” he quietly whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Why, better when other music is playing?” she whispered back sarcastically. “Everyone here’s lucky they aren’t playing salsa right now, or I’d be stealing the show.” Lorena let out a laugh. “Is that so?” He nodded, a huge smirk on his face. “I’m more of mambo person myself,” she responded. He smiled at her remark. “You’ll have to teach me some day.”
She struggled to keep the smile on her face as those words entered her head. You’ll have to teach me some day. She hadn’t even begun to think about it. What she would do after this mission was over. The whole point of doing this was so she could be granted her freedom. She wanted it so badly a couple of days ago. But now. She hadn’t even thought of staying as a possibility. Because to her, it wasn’t. She couldn’t invade Miguel’s life like that. She wasn’t even 100% sure how she felt about him, much less on how he felt about her. Besides, no matter how much she just wanted to settle down with someone. To live an actual life. She didn’t deserve it.
Pulling away from him was like separating herself from her source of life, but she did it anyways. “You okay?” Miguel asked concerned. “Yeah, I just gotta freshen up for a second,” she said, wiping her nose. She turned around quickly to get away. Too quickly though, bumping into someone’s back on her way to the bathroom.
Knocked off her balance, and her headband knocked out of her hair, she fell to the floor on her ass. “Sorry about that,” she said, slightly dissociated, reaching out for her headband. The stranger also reached down to help with her headband. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it gorgeous.”
Her heart dropped to her stomach.
That voice.
“Don’t lose your heart.”
She desperately wanted to keep her eyes glued to the floor. She didn’t want to look at him. But she had to keep her cover up. So she did, as slowly as she could though. And it was the worst possibly outcome.
He looked just like him. Strawberry blonde hair. Deep blue eyes. Small scar just above right eyebrow. His bottom two teeth fighting for room on the bottom row of his mouth. There was only one difference though. One of her favorite parts about him. This Eddie was missing his freckles. His beautiful light brown freckles.
She gave the stranger with her dead boyfriend’s face a strained smile while she grabbed her headband and rushed behind to the door. Her own brain pounding in her head was too loud for her to hear Miguel as she nearly ran passed him. She slammed the door to the outside open as she took in the air like it was her first breath ever. Even if she was outside now, she kept running. She sprinted down the streets, not taking any of her surroundings into account. She saw him in everyone’s face. His ghost had always been haunting her, but she wasn’t ready for him to move from behind her back to in front of her face. She ran so far and so fast until her legs ached, and even after that. She didn’t even know where she was going. She didn’t care. She just needed to get away from him as quickly as possible. Even if that meant leaving Miguel behind too.
Her sprint was interrupted when her foot was caught in a change in the elevation on the sidewalk. Her face slammed into the concrete sidewalk, scraping her cheek and her knees. She used the rest of her strength, all drained out from her bolting, to crawl into a nearby alley. She made her way to the back and slunk down into the corner, hoping to meld into the brick behind her. Especially if it meant she never had to see him again.
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a/n: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG OH MY GOD. sorry if i messed some stuff up with the drinks, i dont drink so i really have no idea (im just a stoner instead lmao). UGH BUT I THINK THIS WAS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER TO WRITE I LOVED IT AND I HOPE YOU GUYS DID TOO
taglist: @the-ikran-man @jenniferdixon05207 @yuuuumii @elwyn7 @waniesss @lust-for-pan @natthernandez @pix-stuff @ang3lf4c3 @artfulthoughtswp @notwildlyfamous
#miguel o'hara x oc#bite the hand#spidersona#across the spiderverse#spiderman 2099#miguel o’hara#into the spider verse#fanfic#spiderman across the spiderverse#fanfiction#spiderverse#oc x miguel o'hara#spiderman oc#spiderverse oc#spiderman
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CARINA CARINA CARINA its like nearly midnight right now and i jsut finished reading uu4 and omg 😭 i love it so so much. i alr knew i would love it but i just loved it even more just reading it. i love how we are slowly piecing together dazai and what he does or something among the lines and dazais nervousness. i just fall more and more in love with beastzai and how much he just cares for us, his concern his anxiety about everything relating to us.
THE ANKLE KISS IM WEAK FOR THAT 😭
THE CLIFFHANGER TOO I CANT I CANT. GO SWAY FYDOOR YOURE RUINING THE HAPPINESS 💔💔 he’s making me scared for what’s going to come or what’s going to happen because HE is a big threat especially with the way you worded it. dazai come back pls 🙏🏻 chuuya come back 🙏🏻 tachihara hurry up your ass and get down there
im just waiting for you to break our hearts with angst for UU 😔 i’m trying to prepare myself but i don’t think i can prepare for carina writing dazai angst because you KILL me with angst <//33 i am looking forward to UU6 but also not because the dazai series will be over :(( and this has been one of my favourite series ever (ATU by mai is one of mine too 🤭🤭) IDJDJSJ im just going to be delusional and say that dazai and reader are happy married with kids and grow old and die like they did in the notebook NO SADNESS NO BROKEN HEARTS
the way you write has me so so entrapped and i love love your writing so so much. if you were to write your own story i would read it i love your writing that much. i know that you would make a great author if you ever were to become one. or if you ever make your own story and publish it here 👀👀
ALSO WJFJSJS IM SORRY IF I WROTE TOO MUCH
LARRRRR MY LOVE U COULD NEVER WRITE TOO MUCH IM SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME EONS TO ANSWER YOUR ASK I FEEL SO BAD (╥﹏╥)
AHFUSFHUDIUSHDDSHU no joke the scene in uu4 where he was helping us get dressed & telling him all the reasons why he wants us was my FAVVVV to write between uu AND badlands. like i literally could not write it in one sitting cuz i was yearning so hard for him LOLLLL i kept having to stop and sigh and pout because what have i done in life to not deserve dazai osamu </333 truly unfair
no because fyodor is truly a pain in the ass in the waterloo universe this man has it OUT for dazai and reader in EVERY universe like why r u so bitter my man do u truly hate love so much </3333 JKKKK LOLLLL but honestly no man haunts beastzai more than fyodor LOLL like yes fyodor is not the ONLY cause of our death but like 80% of the time it's him, the other 20% being christie
the angst is coming i promise ;) HAHHAHHH no but for real it is. HAHHA i'm rlly excited for uu6 but it's going to be a tough one to write, i'm hoping to have it done within two weeks now that finals are over but it depends on how easily the scenes come to me because there's gonna be at LEAST three really tough scenes to put into words and im already getting a bit antsy over them and im not even at them yet </3
NO STOP THIS IS THE BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER ACTUALLY IM WEEPING honestly i've always wanted to write something of my own but i never have the time for it </3 plus i always get in my head about it too LOLLL but lar i adore u thank you for making my day im sorry this took me forever to reply to
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BUNNYYYYYYY‼️‼️ NEW ADDAMS!MATZ POST!!! IM SCREAMING AND RUNNING LAPS!!! YOURE SPOILING US ILYY.
jongho made the appearance im SO happy, but i wanna give him a hug omg poor bear he sounds so sad 💔💔 i just wanna squeeze him and give him a few smooches. IM SO SO SO SO SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE IM KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING .
ALSO!! the ask about darling wearing darker clothes?? OH I WAS GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET AND BLUSHING WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE I CANNOT DO THIS 💔💔 THEY LOVE THEIR DARLING SO MUCH ITS SO CUTE I WANNA CRYYY 💔💔💔
oh and the cuddling butler san ask... i don't remember if i already sent you an anon commenting on this but i WILL DO IT AGAIN CUZ I AM STILL GIGGLING ABOUT PROTECTIVE YEOSANG. AND SANNIE IS TOO SWEET, i'm so soft for him in general i'm sorry i am nothing but weak for him 💔💔💔💔. butler!san i'm in love with you, you haven't appeared much, but i'm in love with you. he is my crush now, you cannot stop me.
AND THE JEALOUS MATZ! ASK!!! OMG IM SO WEAK FOR THEM LIKEEEE... GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET. I ALSO HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM!! (atp i have a crush in all the characters... who's going to stop me though. NOBODY!!)
I'M JUST OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING OMG, YOURE LITERALLY SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER AND YOU KEEP GIVING US SUCH AMAZING CONTENT WITH THIS AU IM SO ATTACHED TO IT, THANK YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL BRAIN FOR THIS!!! 🫂
ALSO I WISH ANONS WOULD LET YOU SEND PICTURES 🙁🙁🙁 CUZ I WANTED TO SEND YOU CUTE BUNNY PICS BUT I CANNTTTT 😔😔😔 SOBBING AS WE SPEAK!!
AND AND AND !! lastly (sorry i'm saying a LOT!!) i just read the yunho brother's best friend smut?? IT WAS SOOOOOO GOOD OMG?? I WAS GIGGLING, BLUSHING, BEING HORNY AND DROOLING. IT WAS AMAZING, I LOVED IT. I'M OBSESSED WITH IT TOO. YOURE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITERRRR.
anyways, i'm done now thehe. i hope you have an amazing day, take good care of yourself, rest well, drink lots of water and eat well. MWWAAAH SENDING HUGS!!!
— 🩰
I SWEAR BABY BEAR JONGHO WILL GET HAPPIER!!! HES JUST A LITTLE LONELY RIGHT NOW BUT DARLING WILL TREAT HIM SO KINDLY!!!!
the gothic fashion one was so fun!! i can’t remember if i said but i wear a mixture of cute stuff and alternative stuff (because i want to be cute but sometimes the urge to wear a band tshirt is just too big!!!!) so writing darling to be more alternative was fun for me!!
butler san will appear more! don’t worry 😭😭 i know he haven’t seen him much yet but he will!!! poor man just wants to do his job but unfortunately darling exists so his job will have to wait!!!!!
as for jealous matz, i’m fully of the belief that hongjoong just turns into the pettiest baby on the planet and i love him for that!!!! he has the right to be annoying as shit!!!!
i’m receiving the bunny pics mentally!!!!! don’t worry, they’re great!!!
AGDJGSJSGAHS THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS!!! I LOVE WRITING AND IM REALLY GLAD YOU GUYS LOVE READING MY WRITING!!! IT MAKES ME SUPER HAPPY 😭😭
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4.11.24 Monday 🍮
hiii everyone, this is my first time doing this so like don’t judge if it’s not very nice or neat 😓 anyways as im writing this im on the bus and now im like almost at school so ill update you after and tell you a couple things about myself!!
hey Yall 🥰 it’s actually 6:26 so I’m a little late but whatever. Today was an ok day. In Med Terms we are gonna dissect a sheep’s heart on Friday maybe, and in Computer Science we learned how to code and it was so boring, I don’t really like it but it’s too late to change and plus it’s with one of my friends, Lea, we have all our electives together. Then in science it was boring we only did notes and ugh I hate math so much 😔 ok so 2 weeks ago Friday I wasn’t here and so I missed like 3 days of school and so obviously if im gone for 3 days im not gonna remember anything and so Monday we have a quiz and I only got 2 questions done cause I was so confused and my math teacher yelled at me like bro, sorry I wasn’t here for 3 days?!? and it stressed me out so much but it’s whatever and so today I had an other test and I was on my last question and my math teacher got mad at me AGAIN, she stressed me out this time and I cried cause she was being mean. And in lunch i ate a lot of food and I probs shouldn’t have cause recently I’ve been quiet a lot and im scared to check my weight and if its over 100 im gonna cry but I bought a couple snacks for my friends. I bought jhazelle a bag of chips, lily a bag of chips and an orange juice, and then I don’t remember why but I owned my biggie friend Nolan a rice krisip and so I bought him that. 6$ wasted 😓 it’s ok tho. Besides from that I went shopping and I got my favorite child hood snack, it’s shrimp cakes and these candies from Japan, it’s like ramun and cola flavored. Really yummy. Anyways that’s pretty much all I did today!! I’ll be really happy if people read this and liked it’s ok if they didn’t but yea see you tomorrow!!!
PLAYLIST OF THE DAY
Touch- Katseye
Replay- SHINEE (sviat mentioned?!?)
Birthday- Red Velvet
Cherish (My Love) - ILL-IT
2 Baddies- NCT 127 ( bald jaehyun 😢)
Moonstruck - ENHYPEN ❤️👅
THE BOYS - GIRLS GENERATION ❤️
MOONLIGHT SUNRISE - TWICE ❤️
Bonfire - WAVE TO EARTH
P.S. I had a dream where I was at an enhypen concert and Jay switched seats with me so I can see them better and the seats were so good and then sunoo was on the big screen and he looks unreal, like AI, but then I woke up and I was sad 😓 I hope to see them irl or at concert soon 💔
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