#im doing this of my own free will btw

[asummersday]

clearly the only way im getting chapter 2 out is by being more stubborn than my procrastination. i've decided that i WILL post it tonight.

i am very good at being stubborn. it's also 11pm and i have uhhh ~3 (??) scenes to write. plus editing. current WC is 5k.

[larabar]

moodboard

[inkskinned]

one of the things about having an unstable parent is that it can so easily ruin your future. you want to get out, but getting out takes having agency. it takes the resume and the grades and the stellar community service history.

but you have to choose your battles. you know if you sign up for an after-school activity, it'll be okay for a while, so long as the activity is parent-approved and god-fearing. over time, like all things, it will become an argument (i can't keep carting your ass to these things) or a weapon (talk to me like that again, see if you get to go to practice). sometimes, if you love the thing, it's worth it. but you also know better than to love something: that's how they get you. if you ever actually want something, it will always be the center of their attention. they will never stop threatening you with it. telling you of course i'm a good parent, i came to all of those stupid events.

you learn to balance yourself perfectly. you can either have a social life or you can have hobbies. both of these things will be under constant scrutiny. you spend too much time with her, you should be at home with family is equally paired with you're acting like this because you're addicted to what's on that goddamn screen. you cannot ever actually win, so everything falls within a barter system that you calculate before entering: do you want to learn how to drive? if so, you'll need to give up asking for a new laptop, even though yours died. maybe you can work on a computer at the library. of course, that would mean you'd be allowed to go to the library, which would mean something else has to bleed. nothing ever actually comes free.

and that bitter, horrible irony: you could be literally following their orders and it still isn't pretty. they tell you to get a job; they hate that your job keeps you late and gives you access to actual money. they tell you to do better in school; they say no child of mine needs a tutor. they want you to stop being so morose, don't you know there are people who are really suffering - but they revile the idea you might actually need therapy.

you didn't survive that fall the way other people would. you've seen other people scramble and get their way out, however they could. maybe you were made too-soft: the answer didn't come to you easily. it wasn't quick. it was brutal and nasty. some people even asked you why didn't you just work hard and escape during school? and you felt your head spinning. why didn't you? (they control your financial aid. they control your loan status. they love having that kind of thing). maybe in another life you got diagnosed sooner and got the meds you needed to actually focus and got attention from the right teachers who helped you clear hurdles to get up out of here - but for now? here?

the effort of trying. the effort of not-dying. that kind of effort was absolutely agonizing.

[wickjump]

im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it

seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic don’t even give a kudos. even if the fic wasn’t top tier, if you didn’t dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says “great fic!” the author will be happy. your comment doesn’t have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.

so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors don’t care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!

i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a little….at least sum kudos….

[linkedin-offficial]

various gaolers + lore art (hi flight rising tumblr)

[ra-vio]

this blog is 11 years old now 🎉

I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual

[lucaanis]

what if i made a silly little dao-style gift guide/list for lleyth like they were an actual da companion haha. just kidding. unless... 😳

💛 LOVES gifts (Lleyth approves +10)

"Oh wow, this is... for me? Really? Oh! I... I don't even know what to say. It's lovely. I love it. Thank you."

9:44 Rialto Bay Reserve A luxury Antivan mulled wine, highly desired for it's silky texture and unusually high alcohol content. Finely aged with hints of orange peel & cloves.

Raven Feather Hairpin A handcrafted silverite hairpin fashioned in the shape of a feather.

Sea Dragon Emerald Tea A velvet pouch of dried assorted herbs and spices, this Rivaini loose-leaf tea blend is popular for it's unique aromatic taste and stress-relieving qualities. Often sold at market stalls in Llomerryn.

Artisan Journal Set An expertly crafted journal made from aged Antivan leather. Adorned with an intricate embroidered pattern and a gemstone latch. Comes with an engraved crow-feather fountain pen & purple satin bookmark.

💛 LIKES gifts (Lleyth approves +5)

"Interesting. This is for me? How thoughtful of you, thank you. I'll have to find a good place for this..."

It Was An Accident: The Auspicious Art of Botany, Bombs & Botulism An absurdly large book with resources on various alchemy recipes, ingredients, tinkering blueprints, and various "hypothetical" ways to "accidentally" kill people. Banned from the shelves of most respectable retailers.

Thing-On-A-String Well, it's certainly a thing— and on a string, no less. Some might say it resembles some kind of fuzzy worm, but any practical value it may hold is unclear.

Sketchy Charcoal Set A standard set of tools found in the repertoire of many artists. There's something a little shady about this one, though.

Preserved Snake Head The skeletal remains of a an adder snake bearing its fangs, cast in resin to prevent damage to the delicate structure. Kinda creepy.

🖤 PRANK gifts (Lleyth disapproves -5)

"Oh. That's... nice. Thanks, I suppose."

You're Not Alone: A Beginner's Guide to Sobriety A self-help book found on the shelf of a Chantry archive. For when an intervention requires a more subtle approach.

The Fifth Talon in Oil by Lalo Amicci, 9:46 An unsettlingly accurate oil painting of the Fifth Talon of the Antivan Crows. It's judgmental eyes and perpetually annoyed scowl seem to follow the viewer around the room...

💔 HATES gifts (Lleyth disapproves -10)

I... and you're giving me this because...? ...No, nevermind. Forget I said anything. I think it looks better with you, honestly. Keep it. I insist.

Halla Statue A small figurine of a Halla sculpted from Sylvanwood. There are intricate runic patterns carved into it.

Toy Aravel A simplistic miniature aravel made of wood and cloth. A children's toy commonly found among the Dalish.

[mrmosseater]

my brawlywood trio interpretations bc they're my fav trio and if brawl stars wont do anything with them then i will

[piningpercussionist]

Oh! Fucking. Duh. Obvious Roxie post I can make today: here's an emote I made for the sp:te server! (With variants of different degrees of completion...)

I was gonna go back and shade the comic colors Roxie but. Just ended up going w the colors picked off the screenshot. This screenshot, specifically!

[churchyaoi]

i love the amount of people in my inbox requesting rvb characters and adding the 🥺 emoji

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

p sleepy so take some fem itoshi siblings designs </3

+ a new fem isagi design 👀

[kittychicha]

[skeletalheartattack]

i just want you to know that i and a couple of my friends follow you and because of your skeleton tag every time we see a skull or a skeleton or even a bone we now yell SKELETON or possibly THE SKELETON APPEARS. life improved immeasurably by this 11/10 thank you for your influence

Thank you for taking the SKELETON challenge!! can you find the skeleton? now?

[unovan-gardener]

living with tik is fun because tik has a room and i sleep in a pile of blankets in the living area

[tchaikovskym]

this is the time of the year that it is so cold inside that i dont think i can think properly.

[toasttedbaguels]

actually so sick of people around my age saying they love living at home because they it’s free food, no rent, and all their housework is done for them. girl WHAT!!!!!!!!!!