#im depresso today

[spookiecookies]

I just wanna be able to live comfortably until I decide to off myself or develop some kind of fatal health problem, whichever comes first.. is that so much to ask for

[frostedpuffs]

save me butter chicken basmati rice and buttered naan save me

[jitterbugbear]

lately i don't really have anything too important to say except my quilt is progressing nicely. it's very messy though (due to it being my first quilt ever!!!) but i only have like 4 rows to stuff and then i just have to stitch the rows together and do the backing

and i might just get an actual thin blanket or something for the backing instead of buying proper fabric, it's probably cheaper that way whee

[deadjournalist]

I'm clinically depressed and mentally sxcidal, ain't it a wonder that I'm still alive?

[jessiesjaded]

...

[aceyanaheim]

its uh..

its getting hard to feel like i have a future in florida

[mooninagust]

i feel physically sick just thinking about the fact that i have to work

[naes-dairy]

On my gosh what do I do what do I do

I've literally never been messaged by what seems to be a bit and in scarred what if it's gore??? I can't even check the account in the messages it's a photo what if their page has disturbing photos what will I do???hddhsjj I think I should hold a poll if nobody will talk to me..

[ha--eul]

.

[so-na-gi]

playing my 2021 top songs - BIG MISTAKE

every single song is either a wuxia ost or a song i STRONGLY associate with one of the ships T-T

[rinnysmuses]

i need to cap ashe's tomes

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ugh]

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I miss my friends!!

[dailynyarinder]

wakey wakey

Is someone home?

HI GUYS MOD HERE IM SO SORRY

Another quick Daily Nyarinder coming soon! Plus… a challenge? 👀

An explanation for my absence + details on an upcoming Daily Nyarinder event under the cut!!

So kinda personal bt my therapist left her practice unexpectedly so I got off my adhd and depresso meds at the same time as I was moving to another house and I just… really lost steam and haven’t had the energy to work on this project orz

i love cotl with all my heart! But my main fandom is svsss (shout out to kamkamquats on twt, this blog was inspired by their dailybingpup!! 💖) and trying to move all my shit over from twitter to bluesky so it doesn’t feed Elon Musk’s ai has also taken a lot of energy that would have been spent drawing for both cotl and svsss.

Additionally, last time I checked this blog I got some anon asks trying to pull me into fandom wank. The admin of this account is a grown adult with a spouse, a house, community protests to organize/attend, cosplays to make, a startup business to take care of; online fandoms are my comfort place and have been since I was 13, and as such I resolved years ago to stay away from fandom drama and just do what makes me happy. I’m really used to how chill and sweet svsss fandom is, so it was kinda startling to remember that younger fandoms are very drama-prone. I deleted those messages, but it still left a sour taste in my mouth whenever I came back to this blog.

As such, I’ve been on a break. And I probably will continue this hiatus until things settle on bluesky and I can spend more time on my friend’s cotl discord server to get my motivation back.

-

THAT SAID, I hope to do a little daily nyarinder art challenge for anyone who still follows this blog! Instructions and rules will be posted separately later today, but the idea is thus:

“YOU, dear reader, are just as wonderful, creative, and capable an artist as any cultist here. What do YOU want to see in Daily Nyarinder’s escapades? Pick up a craft and get creating! Use whatever you’ve got—whether it’s a fancy tablet, ibispaint on a touchscreen phone (that’s how dailynyarinder has been made so far 👀), a pen and the back of a receipt, needle and thread, hook and yarn, scrapbooking paper and scissors, a word doc and a keyboard, a camera, etc etc etc. Whatever medium brings you joy and renews your belief in our benevolent God of Death, this humble Narinder blog calls upon you to make and share a Daily Nyarinder post of your own!

Skill level doesn’t matter in the face of creativity. Whether you’re a renowned oil painter, a fanfic author, a newbie artist, or a kid who just really likes cats, all offerings are encouraged and welcome!

As for content rules, the Nyarinderverse is full of strange and unusual things; anything goes! HOWEVER, since this is a sfw blog and is followed by lots of minors, I’ll ask that if anyone participating decides to draw nsfw content, please make sure it is appropriately tagged and locked behind some sort of link—whether it’s a link to twitter, privatter, or elsewise. Any NSFW that isn’t hidden from immediate view will not be reblogged on this blog. If and when I reblog potential nsfw content, it will be tagged “NSFW” BY ME BY AS WELL so that my followers can filter it out if they need.

Any characters, ships, potential squicks or triggers, etc should be tagged appropriately.

Please know that this blog will never, EVER harass or condone/encourage harassment based on what you make, but as the mod I retain the right to not reblog works that squick me out personally. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make them; it just means they might not all appear here.

Works may be posted separately under the hashtag #DailyNyarinderChallenge or submitted to this blog!

Finally, and most importantly, HAVE FUN!”

^^^ the challenge text will be reposted with some promotional artwork later, but does this sound like it would be a fun event? Let me know what you think.

Look forward to the resolution of the current daily nyarinder arc this week! But then I’ll likely go back on break again until things settle. 💖🐈‍⬛

[lemonine]

unrelated but im also just kinda a mess rn. counselor actually told me today to start practicing breathing exercises again bc she could tell my emotions are up to here (motions to the top of my head)

tis the season for anxiety and depresso and overstimulation i guess

[jev-urisk]

A Musing Monday 🎐

Today i'm thinking about mold, like emotionally. The feeling of moldiness vs feeling nourished and refreshed.

If you've struggled with depression & have worked at allieving it (✋️), you might relate to how unfair it is that many of the things you DO NOT WANT to do while depressed alleviate the depression. 🔀

Depression wants me to isolate, but reaching out and connecting to someone helps. 🫂 Depression doesn't want me to leave bed much less the house, but standing barefoot in my front yard for five minutes eases something in me 🌾☀️. Depression wants me to forsake myself, but damn if everything isn't easier after a long shower and a meal.🧼🍜

It almost feels like depression is a parasitic mold man that doesn't want to be eliminated and has the ability to plant strong 'don't wanna' messages into your gourd 🚫. If you stay alone and miserable the mold can really settle into your body and grow- it even tries convincing you the depresso mold is a dangerous substance like real mold is and that if you go for help you'll just hurt people.

Its so hard to not listen to my scummy little mold man! SO HARD (😏). And he has gremlin powers where if you feed the mold after midnight (or whatever 'past bedtime' is) he gets incredibly worse.

So im celebrating myself (he hates that) and listing some fuck-off-mold-guy activities I've done the past few days 💪

☀️ I made myself a beautiful ratatouille and a plum cookie cobbler

☀️ I asked my partner for back rubs

☀️ I sat in a patch of grass by the road and found a swirly rock

☀️ Watched a goose 🪿

☀️ Opened some windows and curtains and vacuumed

☀️ Redyed my hair (still green lmao 💚)

☀️ Had two friends over to share a meal and bark at Paul Hollywood

☀️ Complimented and flirted with my partner until they blushed and squeaked

☀️ Listened to Carbon Leaf in a hammock with a drink in my hand

☀️ Did paperwork I didnt want to do and then loudly congradulated myself for completing it

Like, I still hate the trend of "Oh you're depressed? You should just __". The use of 'just' is so diminishing, its so dismissive of how hard it is and how individual the depression is. Sure, I have a list of things I did lately that helped me, but im not 'cured', and I know as winter comes itll get harder and Ill need my therapist even more. It can be true at the same time that I've found some things that help me through, make the mold recede, and are worth congradulating myself over. 😊

I hope you all find some nourishment and refreshment as well ✨️

Monday taglist: @gioiaalbanoart (hmu to be +/-)

[aceyanaheim]

Shit if I don't actually have shit to do tho