#im completely mental
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I MUST SPEAK OF MY HAL AND AM GIJINKAS.
#pookies why do you think my asks are always open#i lov rambling#speaking of whihc#kib rambles#SOBS#hal 9000#allied mastercomputer#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#2001 a space odyssey#2001 aso#im completely mental#what being insane does to a mfer#if i was more insane i would post my rambles of them anywaye but i dont want to#unless someone asks.... ofc.......#this goes for that HAM post a while back aswell
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Hey man sorry I've not posted in a while, it's a funny story actually. I actually got arrested for stealing bread for my sister and her seven starving children. yeah, it was pretty bad. I tried to escape 3 times so yeah I got 19 years, yeah and then I broke my parole and now there's this slutty little man after me, yeah I think he has a crush on me or smt idk
#jean valjean#javert#bro im so sorry i fully ABANDONED that fanfiction#ive become the very thing i sought to destroy#I'll probably go back to it at some point....#les miserables#victor hugo#les mis#les misposting#valvert#in all seriousness I'm really sorry if you were committed to the fic i know a lot of people were but im going through the incredibly#horrible palaver of completely losing interest in a hyperfixation#who knows maybe one day ill go mental and write all of the rest of it
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i never model faces bc i get Scared easily but i need to get over it so . i did these.. and for panic reasons i will Claim them as Practice !!!
#wip#first attempt was screamy#second was megsie#i found a cool way to rig with megsie's face which probably would Improve on screamy's if i were to use it there but. eh#it's fun#im not sure if i want to model her completely#like.i do want to. but i also value my hands and mental health (sometimes). also i'm very intimidated by her details so
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don't get too lonely out there, 'kay?
#sorry it's messy#this was just a sketch i was mindlessly doing while listening to lectures#im so mentally ill for a fictional character whose lore we only get crumbs of in a game that you can complete in 3 days#i want them reunited with the whole village >:(#at least esker was there aw#thank you cobalt for introducing me to feldspar with a tooth gap#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#outer wilds fanart#outer wilds art#feldspar#my art#anyne art
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Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Lucifer’s still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.
I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#like i said hes definitely not the best dad but hes also not the worst. hes trying#thats both better than he was doing and better than a lot of people get#(i do think stolas is a better dad but his and lucifers circumstances are also completely different)#if lucifer hadnt bothered helping charlie then yeah id say hes a bad dad#but he put his instinct to avoid the thing that gave him trauma (heaven) at all costs aside for charlie#he was able to acknowledge that yes hes been a shit dad and could be doing better#he made an active effort TO DO BETTER#he actively made a change about himself for the sake of being there for charlie and that alone is better than most people can do#he wasnt a bad dad on purpose. he thought charlie didnt want to see him and acted accordingly which made his mental health problems worse#and his mental health problems being worse made it harder for him to function let alone be charlies dad#again im not saying he shouldnt take accountability just that people dont acknowledge why he was absent for so long#(me being me i blame lilith for making lucifer think charlie didnt want to see him and making charlie think lucifer didnt want to see her)#maybe this is littered with bad takes and my perspective is clouded by daddy issues. idk lol
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do y'all think Macaque is falling back into the role that Azure and the others put on him by remaining on the outskirts of the group because he thinks his input/presence is unwanted (and yeah his presence isn't really wanted by MK and the others BUT. something about the fact Macaque is placing himself at the edge of the group, the edge that Azure and the others pushed him to, doesn't really sit well)
#Monkie Kid#lego monkie kid#monkie kid spoilers#lmk spoilers#im gonna be completely honest: i think the only reason Mac HASN'T apologized is cause he thinks they wont listen to it#so he's trying to do things WAY more subtly and it's NOT working out#and when i say ''he thinks they won't listen'' i dont mean he thinks they won't forgive him#honestly the group would be split 50/50 between ''forgives him'' and ''suspicious but willing to let him try''#i FULL OUT mean he thinks they won't listen. that they won't even hear his apology and will just talk over/ignore him#or completely misinterpret what he's saying#THAT'S what he thinks#when he was being the villain he was putting on a show. it's HILARIOUS how obvious his actions are a front when you rewatch s1 and s2#but like?? being actually him?? he does NOT expect them to listen to him when he's just himself#sort of like a. ''if you want people to listen you have to anger/frighten them into paying attention'' kind of mentality#not a good mentality to have#it DOES explain why he reacts Like That whenever someone does something that indicates they DID pay attention though#like. listen hear me out. i do NOT think Macaque expected MK to remember the Warrior thing.#so when MK brought it up it hit him like a truck#also why he reacts like that when Wukong somewhat seriously answers his ''you know this is just the calm before the storm'' question#+ when Wukong says ''we''#cause he does not consider himself part of the group. hence staying on the outskirts#GOD this guy is such a delicious pack of trauma to dissect. thank you lego for giving me not one#not two#but THREE traumatized monkeys to analyze
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more dragon falin! i love her a lot
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#falin touden#chimera falin#dragon falin#fanart#digital art#doodles#joowee's art galore#in my mind this version of falin is like almost completely dragon physically and almost completely falin mentally#meaning she's very sweet and timid :3#im luv her <333
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dsmp is still SO insane to me. still not completely convinced it wasn't a social experiment. it is something that can never be replicated again due to the really specific circumstances that attributed to it's creation and popularity
#the combination of everyone being inside due to the pandemic#the community giving everyone a space to connect#in a time where loneliness and mental health was reaching an all time high especially among youth#like idk. even after everything and a handful of ccs being revealed to be horrible shitbags#the dsmp will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart.#a story told in a medium no one has really explored before#the unique fantasy setting......the three life system allowing for more high stakes moments since there a character#could die multiple times to raise stakes#the emphasis placed on familial and platonic dynamics and how THEY can be just as complex and entertaining to watch/read abt like /r ships#the fandom revolutionizing gen fics and making a familial relationship reach the TOP OF AO3 STATS ONE YEAR???? insanity.#also just the ppl.#the amount of talented musicians and artists and writers and editors and all the ppl who lovingly transcripted and compiled lore streams#LIKE UGH.#im so emo about it#unfiltered queer representation bcuz#the story wasnt washed down by a corporation as it was given directly from the storytellers to the audience#the multiple povs allowing ppl to experience the same story in completely different ways#excellent depictions of the effects of mental illness/ptsd and 'imperfect' abuse survivors#ctommy my beloved#LIKE SIGH. WE ARE NEVER GETTING THAT AGAIN IN A FANDOM SPACE I FEAR#ok lol. ignore my rantings#dsmp#dream smp#starry text
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fun fact: when i first went to the fort to kill caesar i completely forgot about the bunker. it was a stressful return trip
#fallout new vegas#fnv#new vegas#courier six#courier oc#yes man#this is old art but i wanted to post smth while im recovering from the Illness (Mental)#fr though i was like great! well thats done and then yes man was like hey you fucking idiot#this is completely canon for him. his ultimate ADHD moment#yes man: about that bunker at the fort…#sirius (still on edge from killing caesar): about the huh at the what 😀#at least he got to take arcade with him the second time around#also. yes man only calls him six while theyre first working together#since ‘courier six’ is all he really knows him by and sirius is kind of nervous around robots and isnt keen on giving him his actual name#i imagine their relationship is kind of strained in the beginning bc of that + yes man thinking he’s an airhead (this moment Did Not Help)#but then they become Super Special Besties eventually <3#ok im off to draw new stuff. probably.#and to work on wips dear god help m#my art#☄️: sirius the dog star (courier six)#📺: yes man
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hi for the love of god hello . can anybody hear me
#qktalks#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#started this bc i wanted to know which door mob opened during the house fire that made ???% show up#doing this made me realize (the . glaring floorplan issues aside) that i rly do not pay attention to the spaces around characters#until im actively looking around and studying it#my mental image of their house was like super vague in my head before this and also completely wrong
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I'm going to be honest I think what frustrates me the most about there being so much content about notorious child hater astarion being a parent in a nuclear family unit as opposed to literally any other character is because like. wyll literally becomes a canon father in one of the epilogues. besides laezel he's the only one to do so. how much dad content have you seen for wyll compared to astarion or even laezel. I had some people I've talked to not even KNOW wyll becomes a parent like. come on. come on
#ppl are so fixated on putting ooc traits onto their fav they completely forget the ones already w those traits#rev txt#sorrryyyy to be a hater. im not that sorry actually its just this thoughts been in my head again w. that one post floating around#edit turning off reblogs cause this wasnt ever meant to be smth that got this many notes and im mentally ill. soz
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*guy who had no control over his fate voice* it's all my fault
#i am a jonathan sims apologist im sorry#i dont think hes a completely good person but i think the way he turned out was not his fault-#-and that his nature as an avatar does not contradict his morals!!!!#idk if this is the best way to convey how i feel about jon being marked by all the fears but i hope it comes across how i want it to :3#tw eyestrain#potentially#my art#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#alice daisy tonner#if its not clear: daisy is the hunt + his neck scar#the fire is the corruption/jude perry + the burn scar on his hand#the bones in his hand are his ribs + the flesh#the pink explosions are the stranger/unknowing + his explosion scars#the orange cut near his collar bone is the slaughter/melanie#the worms are the corruption/jane prentiss + the pockmark scars on his face#the spider legs are the web + symbolic for the mental mark mr spider left on jon#and the door is obviously the spiral + could be interpreted as when michael's hand cut jon#and you could interpret the clouds around as lonely fog
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Ok SO
Canonically his dad is a cop and there are a couple jokes about his parents not loving him, dudes dad straight up said "actually, do we love you?" Like sir damn anyways im taking that and running with it SO
Giving him a fucked up situation of him and his dad always butting heads and both of them escalating things constantly, and as he got older the ends to the arguments went from getting grounded or punished to getting kicked out or Duncan just leaving, probably escalating to his dad kicking him out semi regularly and eventually his mom or dad telling him to come back home to make a kinda fucked up cycle
And like i know they gave the convict kid a cop dad for the laugh like its not that deep at ALL
but like that sets up sucha fucked power dynamic and i want to use that
and we never find out what got Duncan sent to juvie for the first time, its said off screen while some characters are spilling embarrassing or dark secrets and in my fucked up world either he accumulated a couple charges while he was kicked out, indirectly the fault of his dad
or worse but more tempting
he got kicked out and his dad arrested him for trespassing
so like idk i just love the idea of a pyromaniac, vandal convict who has no respect for authority or mutual trust having the tragic backstory that his first time getting arrested was at the hands of his father
#daddy issues deluxe edition#duncan angst post complete#Duncan doesn't know how to de-escalate and needs to get the last word#he gets that from his dad btw#so running away is almost like winning#idk how Canadian cops are so im using american cop mentality#which is typically the “shoot first ask questions later” mentality#i think despite his Dad caring about him hed do hurtful shit and only regret it later#and i sincerely doubt they'd talk about it#so it just drives a deeper wedge and makes whats “normal” that more intense#:D#i love taking things too seriously i love overthinking behavior#duncan total drama#jester jabbers#headcannon#angst#total drama#idk man
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Some have suggested I should spend my vacation "like a human", so I have prepared several options. People seem to like this one the most. You refused. I see. You must prefer the Thomas the Tank Engine face. - Lucy's lobby interaction
THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE FACE???????????!?!?!?!?!??
#lucy#reverse 1999#WHO TAUGHT HER HER SENSE OF HUMOR IM????#the mental image of lucy watching thomas the train is sending me into the floor. i can imagine her watching it on a laplace screen at a#considerably high volume as her coworkers bustle around her. she's standing around the same way dads watch tv. everyone there has#stopped at one point in complete and utter confusion wondering why the fuck is the laplace director watching a kid's show in the computers#certified storm moments
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wip wednesday
"I was at the pier when the tsunami hit. And there was this kid by himself so I tried to protect him. God, he's awesome. He was actually the one reassuring me, telling me about these cool space facts and trying to make me laugh. But I lost him, Christopher—that's his name—and I'll never forgive myself for that.
So it is him. It really is the guy who saved Christopher. It warms his heart that he didn't mention his son's cerebral palsy and instead focused on his personality.
"Wait are you Buck?"
"Yeah. What— how do you know?"
Eddie exhales. "That was my kid. Christopher.
"Fuck. I'm so sorry. God, I'm sorry."
"You saved him. That's how he remembers it.
"Eddie," Buck says in a broken voice and Eddie just wants to take all his pain way.
"And from what I heard, you didn't just save him. You saved others. You did good, Buck. You're so good. Thank you."
thanks for the tags 💖 @wikiangela @smilingbuckley @inell
@dangerpronebuddie @kitteneddiediaz @loserdiaz
npt 💕 @steadfastsaturnsrings @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @spotsandsocks
@bi-buckrights @disasterbuck @tizniz @theotherbuckley
@jesuisici33 @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon and anyone else who wants to share <3
let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!
#THIS IS STILL IFFY AND IM NOT COMPLETELY HAPPY ABOUT THIS BUT THE POTENTIAL IS THERE SDHJSDDJD#nolan writes#mental health helpline fic#buddie wip#911 abc#buddie
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Sanders Sides theory (rant). I know im mainly a mh acc here but I have thoughts i need to get out there
(just fyi this theory is Roman centric, I know most TSS people nowadays are talking ab Orange and Logan so if Roman's not interesting then continue on 🔥🔥)
(Also slight TW, talking ab the sides "ducking out" and depression themes, so yeah👍👍)
Okay so. I was scrolling through Sanders Sides theories and found that no one seems to have this theory, even though I thought the Roman angst enjoyers like me would be writing this all over the place but. Ig that means I need to talk about it.
I've had this theory for years now, since the day I first watched SVS Redux.
I think Roman is going to duck out.
I dont know if I have to explain why but. I mean, just looking at the explosive end SVS Redux had will tell you a lot.
He doesn't belive Patton when he tells him they love him. He thinks Thomas has lost all faith in him in favor of the person Roman views as the epitome of evil. He's been switching views left and right to stay on Patton's side (because Thomas prides himself on his morals), but he always ends up doing something wrong - he always ends up as an antagonist. He no longer believes that he is the one thing that being has kept him stable since "Am I Original?" - Thomas' hero. The only side he has a stable and positive relationship with is VIRGIL of all people. And tbh that could quickly be ruined too. Logan is second, though, but that's EXTREMELY fragile, as we've seen.
Roman always does something wrong and it will and has sent him over the edge. From Roman's perspective, with a very flawed view of everyone around him, he is inherently the thing that flaws Thomas.
+ Roman is really dramatic obviously, so ofc he would do this.
When you look at Virgil's reasonings for ducking out, it seems plausible after everything Roman has gone through recently, too. I mean like:
"I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore"
Why would Roman keep fighting a battle he knows he will never win?
"Well, It didn’t seemed like I was wanted. You all made that pretty clear any time I showed up."
Again, from Roman's perspective, he is constantly and consistently antagonized.
"If I wanted to stand around being insulted, I would've shown up I would've shown up in person like I usually do."
[same thing]
"I actually think you were right to not want me around."
Roman fears that he is becoming the villain (as we see in SVS, SVS Redux and DWIT).
(In fact, Roman has already said something quite similar to that last one in sentiment.
In SVS Redux, Roman says this, which is pretty funny because of the dramatics and the stupidity, and does get shot down quickly, but I am begging you to listen to him.
"The blame falls to me. If you're missing that do-gooder drive... I think It's because I'm in the driver seat... And I'm an awful driver... Perhaps... Perhaps I should let Patton take the wheel.")
(2nd sidenote to the Virgil quotes, can we talk ab Thomas' acting again I just love how tired Virgil is in AA. He's so. Troubled. I love him.)
WAIT ALSO I FORGOT TO ADD THIS UNTIL I WAS AB TO POST IT-
"I've always aimed to protect you,"
THIS!! First of all his face makes me so sad BUT SECOND OF ALL yeah. Roman core idk what else to say, you get it right.
"I thought I was your hero."
So yeah.
Anyway, I think the episode where Roman does this will be centered around depression. Without Roman, Thomas is depressed. Let me explain this further.
Roman is Thomas' creativity, imagination, ego, passion, love, wills and wants, hopes and dreams, aspirations and enthusiasm.
Without any of that, what is left? A guy who can't even will himself out of bed, but can still feel the nagging voice of reason and logic telling him how unreasonable he's being. A guy who cant will himself to talk to friends, family and loved ones, but can still feel sorrow for letting them down and worrying them. A guy who can't will himself to pursue creative content that he relies on for a living but can still feel anxious about letting millions of people down and never being able to create again. A guy who cant even make food for himself or brush his teeth, but still knows he NEEDS to take care of himself. A guy whose only creativity is activly trying to disturb and scare him.
So yeah thats really awesome idk.
Furthermore, I think the sides might be SEVERELY impacted.
It has been said many times over the series that the sides are purely figments of Thomas' IMAGINATION. so. Without Roman, I doubt anything would be left. Obviously, if Roman does duck out, I don’t think they'd all immediately just cease to exist because an episode still needs to occur, but I find it likely that they'd all start slowly fading or maybe even "malfunctioning", glitching, putting them on a timer to get back Roman and making it far more tense.
Is this theory weird?????? I feel like it's the natural progression TO ME but I've seen no one even getting near this and im just confused ghfhfhfh. Maybe it is kind of weird and im just too much of a Roman enthusiast. SORRY I LOVE ANNOYING WEIRDO FREAKS!!!! AND IF I WAS HIM ID DUCK OUT TOO BECAUSE NO ONE IS APPRECIATING HIM ☹️☹️☹️ EVEN THOUGH HE'S LITERALLY WHAT MAKES THOMAS DO THINGS. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Anyway.
I also think it fits really well because of Prinxiety's parallels, such as:
(using the ship name just as a duo name because that's what I usually do I am not trying to push the prinxiety agenda although I am a fan of it ghfyfgfh)
"Thanks everyone... Well, almost everyone."
And
"I mean, it's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well most if you, but-"
The only difference in these two is obviously that Virgil just silently ducks out, while Roman has the entire "You make us better" speech, probably effectivly saving Virgil and Thomas, because it seems like Virgil was going to insist.
(Also another sidenote that I think everyone will agree with: WE NEED A "YOU MAKE US BETTER" SPEECH BY VIRGIL FOR ROMAN that is all)
Also. Who can forget.
Virgil saying that he tried to "duck out" and then
"That's a thing you can do?"
😐
Do you understand what I'm saying. Do you. Huh.
Okay anyway.
Idk how to end this I feel like theres still more I wanna say but i forgot. In conclusion: prin up that xiety. Reminder that FWSA was real and not a fever dream. I lied this is actually prinxiety propaganda.
But Hey That's Just A Theory. A really quite depressing and sad theory. Thanks for tumbling down a hill with me 🫶
#Sanders Sides#TSS#roman sanders#roman sanders angst#sanders sides theory#TSS theory#Prinxiety#Because i feel like you guys might appreciate this and I love you#Erm yeah this one's been cooking in my brain since the year 2020#I feel as though it just makes sense????#But im also pretty sure that I sound completely incoherent to anyone else pfyfyfhfh#MAYBE I AM BLINDED BY ROMAN ANGST ENJOYMENT!!! SO WHAT!!!! HES MY ORIGINAL BLORBO#Also fun fact about me: when I was around 10-11 I wrote a list of ways to emotionally and pshychologically torture Roman#One of the point just said “he gets hit by a car”#So#Uh#That's something!!#I am so mentally stable#Always have been
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