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#im back on my bullshit after one day
todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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Government mandated masato posting time
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sparklehoard · 2 months
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Being so brave
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screamingay · 2 months
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somehow these current roommates we have are the worst that ive known yet and last semester we literally had a girl who smoked cigs IN her bedroom. list of grievances below lol
#first of all they turn all the lights on all the time. the other day i was hanging out in the living room w one light on bc it was light#enough outside thru the windows and one of them walked in and flipped another light on automatically. then walked through#the living room right to her bedroom... girl youre not even using this room and i was clearly fine with the light level??#they always have all 3 kitchen lights on when they cook and dont turn them off plus none of them have lamps#they all use the Big LED Ceiling Light in their bedrooms which is baffling to us#they dont know how to organize the kitchen and they took up so many of the cabinets with bullshit. like 3 pans here a few plates there#we have like 4 cabinets worth of food and even more of pots and pans and shit bc this is everything we own#and we cant afford to use disposable everything like some of them do#theyre always leaving the fridge open while they cook too and i have to physically hold myself back from becoming my mom#and yelling at them to close the fridge when theyre not actively getting smth out of it!! like theyll stand there cooking and have it open#for 2 minutes straight#theres only room for one water filter pitcher in the fridge and one of them brought a big one which is nice but theyre always forgetting to#refill it which defeats the purpose of even having it#and they always somehow start cooking right when we decide we need to eat#one of them sent this long sort of condescending post abt ants and how it stresses him out when the kitchen is messy so we all need to clean#more and try harder to keep ants away as if 1) ants care at all abt dishes in the sink or stains on the stove and 2) as if the ants will#stop coming around if theres no food out in this building where there are notoriously always ants even on the 4th floor#(we are ground floor this time) and 3) as if he isn't one of the people leaving food around and not taking the trash out#nobody responded to it in the groupchat lmao bc he sounds like a fucking cop!! and is dating an rotc guy??? and also is a streamer or just#likes to play games on vc with friends bc hes always very loudly doing that#but obviously we have sex all the time so we're at a sort of loud noise stalemate where neither of us can complain abt the other#to be clear this is in no way the absolute worst situation theyre nice enough people and havent reported us for anything (they both work for#student housing -_-) and generally things go okay in the apartment#but like. ive never been this annoyed this often with any other roommates#ALSO someone spilled soy sauce all over our designated level of the fridge door where we had all our little bottles of stuff#but also a carton a Paper Carton of milk and a pack of butter standing upright which soaked up the soy sauce and for several days#even after id cleaned the bottom of the carton the best i could i swore it tasted like soy sauce from it soaking into the bottom or smth#but it's still all over everything in there bc it was so much it like. pooled in there and splattered on everything#like. u see that happen u clean it up wtf.??#anyway i just felt like i needed to complain and see if im being silly or if these things really are so annoying
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wabblebees · 8 months
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#have been attempting to make a self-tape for this audition for DAYS#after a whole helluva lotta bullshit having to do with hunting down a time+space+camera to film with i Finally managed to get some takes#then some weird bullshit with the camera's sd card happened where i wasnt able to pull the files off onto my laptop#FINALLY able to copy the files to my laptop. FINALLY able to access playback (the video camera i borrowed wouldnt let me access its gallery#FINALLY watching them... they all kinda suck so far but thats Fine at least i Have Them yk#get to take 7 and its actually not nearly as terrible as the previous 6!! feelin pretty good abt this one!! dont get hopes too high ofc but#i mean hey this ones acceptable if the last few arent any good either & just in case i cant go thru with my plans for tmrw to do a reshoot#so yk i start to rename the file so i can tell which clip it is!#Whole Laptop Crashes#WAHOO#typed this up to avoid freakin out while carefully rebooting her. bbg dont do this to me#luckily i already saved multiple contingency copies just in case (bc ive already had so many issues i was feelin Extra Cautious)#so i at least dont have to worry about dealing with the sd card bullshit Again. ugh#EDITING TO SAY: SHE LIVES!! laptop is fine after powering back up & files are unscathed!! was able to retitle & keep on truckin no problem#god i hate dealing with video as a medium#*this* is why im a stage performer not a screen actor lmao#fuck this shit. juust gimme a floor and an audience and ill make it worrk#cameras are fickle creatures on-par with printer machines#im rly excitednervous abt this audition tho; only submitted my resume+headshot on a whim & didnt rly think anything would come of it#but they contacted me and asked for a tape!! so im like !!!!! okayy sure id love to send that !!! i just have to face The Horrors first#if i dont get it then thats not the end of the world or anyth; but itd be SO FUCKING COOL if my v first submission landed me my first gig!!#so uhh. pls put out a good thought to the universe for my self-tape landing me the chance to perform in this queer play festival !!#bee speaks#🤞🤞🤞
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designernishiki · 1 year
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im at the haruka + akiyama duo section of 5 now and i love it <3 both for the uncle/niece sort of dynamic they have and because i fucking love me a murder mystery baby
#weirdly very good choice of character to help haruka solve the crime and all that considering he#went to fucking law school amazingly enough#like. he’d actually know what the fuck he’s talking about despite how incompetent he seems on the surface fjddcjendgj#he’s actually got CREDENTIALS#anyway yeah also their dynamic is just very sweet and I’m so fucking glad two major characters finally got to meet like god I’ve been#WAITING#rambling#y5#im reserving my thoughts about mirei and that whole… situation…….until I have all the context possible at this point#cause imma be real I didn’t see what happened to her comin#so. god knows what else I haven’t seen yet that I’ll need to consider#so far though. as much as they’re emphasizing a lot right now her work ethic and dedication and etc for haruka to elevate her career and#etc etc etc and that being a very sentimental and kindhearted thing and whatnot. imma be real I still find it mostly bullshit#I mean. even mirei herself could’ve maybe believed she was doing all that for haruka’s sake alone but that doesn’t erase the fact that mirei#had a plan for haruka since day fuckin one (before that probably) and it had nothing to do with caring for her and her personal freedoms or#enjoyment in life or anything- she elevated haruka because she projected onto her BIG TIME and needed to redeem herself after failing#in the industry by living vicariously though a mini-mirei conditioned to think she wants all the things mirei wants#and so on and so on. like#it seems really sweet and giving of her that she’d do so much to take out that loan and what have you. but once you step back for a moment#and go wait a second. this isn’t what haruka even wanted in the first place. she hasn’t had personal freedom at all the past six months and#mirei taking her shopping and letting her choose between some clothes on her own (ONLY allowing designer brand though. obviously)#is an effective way of making haruka believe she has free will and is doing what she honestly wants to do#because god forbid she realizes that- yeah mirei has sacrificed a lot for me- but I never asked her to and becuase of it now I have massive#responsibilities and expectations to uphold. after all- how could she live with herself if she rejected what mirei worked so hard for#especially after mirei. you know. suddenly dies. (not saying that was part of her manipulation or something just saying that it plays into#it conveniently well- haruka REALLY couldn’t live with herself now if she didn’t win this contest and debut)#annnnyway. it’s very interesting. mirei is… very interesting#I said I wasn’t gonna comment on her yet but. oops
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eldritchmochi · 1 year
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i keep seeing posts about how the term "boundaries" is constantly misused to inflict rules on other people when boundaries "only relate to rules for yourself" which..... isnt true according to things ive discussed with my therapist? like yeah the overuse of medical terms as get out of jail free buzzwords is bad but also strict black or white rulings of a concept in a tweet or two is also bad, especially since i have not seen a damn one of these come from a credible source, either a mental health professional or like, clinical terminology sources
CONCRETE EXAMPLE where i set a boundary with roommates that required behavior changes on their part that my therapist named specifically as a boundary when i described it:
dishes are the biggest point of contention in basically any living situation with multiple people. my previous roommates were really bad at doing them, in a way that resulted the kitchen being really gross if i hadnt just cleaned it. even after many requests to do basic things of "empty the sink trap of soggy food so it doesn't rot" and "dont hoard dishes long enough to grow an ecosystem" over m o n t h s, i got nowhere with dishes being done regularly in a way that didnt bother me
in the end it was so continuously upsetting that i told them to not do the dishes at all ever whatsoever, i would take care it. mind, i was the only one who worked out of the house while commuting via bus as a chronically ill person with severe fatigue and i was putting in an average of 50 hrs a week every week for werks on end at the time. me deciding to take this on was not done lightly, this was me recognizing that it was better and healthier for all of us for me to take on this one task. it would result in me being much happier in that living situation at no real cost to the other party other than maybe the dishes would stack up a bit if i was particularly exhausted one day, but things would get caught up within the week
this did not go down well despite my best efforts, and i would not be surprised if this black and white portrayal of what boundaries are influenced that. this nonsense went down over like six solid months and every single session i had with my therapist had him absolutely baffled because he couldn't think of a single thing i could have done better
i am not a mh professional i do not know the specific difference between "dont do this thing it upsets me" and "dont do this thing that 'upsets' me because i am controlling you", but the blanket statement of calling something like this a boundary is misusing the term is black and white thinking. i have bpd, ive done some dbt about it and the first thing they teach you is how to spot black and white thinking because it us incredibly mal adaptive and *really fucking dangerous* and this specific trend is going to be taken advantage of by abusers just as much as coopting the use of "boundaries" to justify their behavior
tldr "boundaries are never about other people's behavior" and "you can't do xyz thing because it violates my boundaries" are two sides of the same abusive coin. people who have put in the work in a tangible and meaningful way, who are able to examine their motives and give grace to other people within their boundaries, can recognize that boundaries are a spectrum, like everything with social relationships and mental health in general
#mochi rambles#listen work has been absolute bullshit#like ungodly amounts of bullshit#i am so deep in bullshit i do not know how to deal with i have spent most of the eight days ive been back#absolutely screaming in a very literal sense#please note i returned last week after spending a week in the hospital because i almost died#it has not been a good month and i am fucking tired of these fucks who read one article about a thing#wnd feel confident making bullshit blanket statements#that then go viral#because people dont know the meaning of nuance#surprise!!!! turns out healthy approaches to interpersonal relationships have a lot of nuance#almost like people are individuals with individual needs qnd individual thoughts and individual histories#that impact how they interact with others and how they perceive others intents in their interactions#this is why black and white thinking is dangerous#more or less#im not a professional this is just what ive gathered from seeing mh pros pretty consistently for a decade#anyway im so fucking salty in general rn#but also specifically salty that i lost two friends i really cared about because their hang ups#resulted in my very genuine attempts to maintain a good relationship#being veiwed as abuse tactics#leading to them spreading slander to the same effect among other friends#who have subsequently dropped me#while me and my therapist over here in my standing bi werkly appointments are like wtf#and there has been so much of everything else that i have not had the brain to decide#if its worth the effort to try and convince people im not the bad guy#....... man i do not have enough time for all the therapy appointments i woukd really like to have#because fuck this year has been Something
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god
#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn#makes drinks more tolerable#also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink#we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy#smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone#life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever#literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv#at all#life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family#dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad#uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way#that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done#a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one#else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell#you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou#have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking#about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss#you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey#Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and#your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. ​don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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fabulouslygaybean · 2 years
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apparently someone in my fucking gsa is a racist cunt who keeps creeping on my little sister. this is the final straw i think
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woulddieforloki · 2 years
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i wanna write a valentines day fic but idk who or what to write it about lol
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arrow-guy · 2 years
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bylertruther · 2 years
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with the way that some of you talk about will you'd expect every other scene of his to be a suicide attempt, for there to be scenes of him talking about lonnie negatively or at-fucking-all, for there to be scenes where we can see this supposed disgust or hatred for his sexuality, for him to have been the one that said "what did you think really? that we were never going to get girlfriends and stay in my basement playing games for the rest of our lives?" and "it's not my fault you don't like girls!" and "we're friends! we're. friends.", for him to have been the one to make fun of mike's campaign, for him to have been the one to ditch his interests to be Cool and Grown, for him to be the one with the family that doesn't give a rat's ass about him, for him to be the one in a relationship with someone he doesn't love because he doesn't want to face the truth, for him to be the one that can't ever talk about his feelings or let himself feel them, for him to be the one avoiding love, for him to be the one that went through a depression and grief arc, for him to be the one that is shown to not be okay even when there's no supernatural fuckshit going on, for him to be the one isolating himself from his loved ones, and so on and so forth cutting this post short now even tho i could 100% go on and keep rattling off the Actually depressing shit tht you guys keep stealing from other characters on this show and trying to pin on him. but anyway ....
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alphalesbian · 2 months
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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I mostly just scroll thru blog subs when im on mobile bc I follow too many ppl on here so I add mutuals etc there n then turn off notifs so it's like the creme de la creme of the dash anyway if u see me in ur notes more its bc I forgor to add some of u on there until recently sorry 😭😭
#i kept seeing some of u in my notes and i was like damn u guys have been rl quiet on the dash even tho ur active thats weird..#nope just wasnt seeing any of ur beautiful posting. my bad#ONL <- me on my hands and knees begging ur forgiveness#rly need to clean up my following list so my main dash is useable again..... 💀#maybe i should add it to my list of official chores for this weekend so i actually do it lol#.diaries#not done much this morning cuz i slept in n took my meds late.. but thats ok properly hitting my task list now#done 1 round of laundry got my med delivery n organised a bunch of stuff just tidying n cleaning now n then i have some laptop admin#n then i need to go out to town just debating maybe doing a closet sort first so i can take a bag of stuff to donate to charity w me hmm#and after im back ill food shop i have my meal plan for the next week done already. mm ill fit another round of laundry in too for sheets#and then tmr ill do a third for bathmats n teatowels etc. and polish boots/do my ironing while i watch a new movie or show..#awesome. i love being medicated i love being able to concentrate and get stuff done it feels so so good#i rly spent two wholeass decades unable to and thought that was that. god bless my adhd diagnosis for letting me access stimulants#even if i have to deal w this bullshit private shit atm its fine. ill be back on the nhs soon hopefully#and ill only need half of my script next month bc theyve sent me too much of one of them the last 2 months. so itll be way cheaper#i have like at least 3 months supply of my amfexa lmao and i dont even need it every day sometimes i skip it or take half instead#so it could probs stretch 5-6 months. but theyll only issue me 1 month of my elvanse at a time so i need to renew it more often 😔#considering taking a med break next weekend bc i just want to see how bad it would be. i can take my instant stuff if it rly sucks#and if its okay maybe ill take one day off meds every weekend when i dont Need to focus to get chores done etc#so that way i can gradually build up a buffer of med supply n also might be nice to have a day i can fully relax innit#not that i Can't relax on meds but it feels rly good to focus n get shit done n I don't get as much out of just lazin#anyway.... me and my 5 million tags as always
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xiaojaan · 5 months
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University experience so bad you start missing your abusive household 👍🏼
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futuremercifulnerd · 9 months
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New 2024 resolution just dropped - Stop playing overwatch because its fucking garbage now and 90% of the ppl that play it are braindead
#i could literally make an hour long video on why this game pisses me off now and how sad it is as someone whos played since day one#im not gonna shut up about it actually lmao cause someone had the audacity to message me thru playstation#i called out team diff cause my team sucked and the tank had the nerve to message me saying#“its qp the mercy gameplay i just witnessed was garbage dont be toxic unless you have the gameplay to match it up”#first of all i was mercy for like a minute and switched off after i used my ult and i couldnt stay alive cause no one was doing damage#secondly the TANK who refused to ever group up is talking shit to ME about ganeplay?#you walked away from the team when the payload was inches away from landing on point and us losing#the enemy team had a sombra and even if they didnt you shpuldnt be leaving when its that close#how many times do i need to spam group up?#how many times do the other teammates have to join in spamming group up for you to listen lmao#i get not acting like qp is comp but theres a certain point where qp isnt an excuse for YOUR behavior and the way ppl react to it#you cant actively throw or play like shit or refuse to try anything different and then get mad at ppl getting mad at you#me picking mercy WAS my chill trying to have fun option lol she is the furthest thing from my main#you lost the right to claim “its just qp” when you deliberately walked away from the team+died on your own then complained about heals lol#anyways i just sent back “not the tank you cant fathom grouping up lmao check yourself” and blocked them#cause im not gonna entertain your bullshit#im 100% quick to block online cause i dont need to deal with shit i dont want to lmao getting blocked =/= you won the arguement btw#ppl really cant fathom others just refusing to mess with crap they dont need to or want to#in a other match the enemy lucio was just diving and doing no heals (seriously he had less than 2k heals at the end)#and their teammates called them out and their respinse was just “quickplay” and their team went “so you cant heal in qp???”#and that interaction sums up my opinion on a lot of shit lol#also the fact that a majority of the ppl who play this game atp act like this is a huge reason why ppl call out bullshit so readily#like fuck dude we played an arcade game where the enemy had two snipers who were def soft hacking at the very least#whats the point?????
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