#im at the point where im like im too old to care abt this stuff but im also like

[reveliii]

all my friends experiencing some form of partner neglect by their rp partners/partners in general has been so eye opening. i like peep my friends who are living la vida loca because they love each other sauuur much and are having saur much fun w their stuff and i just kinda realize .

yeah.

thats it, isnt it.

and my friends come to me like “i shouldnt feel jealous but i feel so sidelined” and i have to sit them down and tell them hey look. its okay. youll get through this like im talking someone out of a bad relationship. its so jarring each time how heartbroken they get

[abnomi]

random assorted headcanons for Turbo because I like thinking and having fun !!!! 🎉

Read More to Find Out...or are you too scared?... i bet ur too scared ahaha youre too scared Lol! Hahaahaaa!!!

The steering wheel of his kart is covered in bite marks, similar to how one would bite their favorite pencil. he bites things to mark his territory because Nobody is gonna touch that unless they want all of his diseases (150+).

i just know he was fighting to restrain himself not to chew on any of the candy civilians

when it comes to music, he doesn't see the point of listening to it. he doesn't have enough patience to really take it in; to him, it's just a thing that exists and not much more than that ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ ∵⁠ )⁠_⁠/⁠¯

adding onto that point, this guy listens to metal clanking sounds and loud engine roaring for entertainment because he likes things that would overstimulate any normal person. turbo is incredibly sensory-seeking and will do anything for The Sensations

someone should take him to a heavy rock concert i think it would change him a little. keep that thang on a leash

related to being sensory-seeking, i think he would absolutely love running his hands over random textures. if anyone has run their hands along a wall while walking alongside it...He does that...If u know u know... he is SO stimmy its unbelievable. Unreal.

very pain-tolerant. he'll whine and complain about it for attention, but physical hurt really doesnt bother him much until it gets in the way of what he wants to do.

funnily enough, he is very picky when it comes to temperature. he can handle getting ran over but if its 1° too hot or cold he'll start nagging and nagging for it to go back to normal. turbo really needs his own enclosure i think it'd do him a lot of good

this is a more popular headcanon and its canon-leaning, but he's an artist :-] he usually sticks to graffiti art because its generally considered more "rebellious and cool" but he also sketches cars, design decals, and other stuff when hes alone!

i would love to see his process of character designing king candy because i dont think he really knew what he was doing

he was just like "ok what does a generic king look like. uhhhhh.... 1, old and jolly like santa claus.... 2.... uhh crown..... 3......... purple.... FUCK YEAH im so good at this!!!!🔥🔥🔥"

i just noticed how his design has like 0 actual candy motifs aside from his bow being a candy wrapper and his shoes having those little gumdrop end pieces. what was he THINKING

while King Candy has a lisp, i think it's a coverup for his actual voice because of how goofy and recognizable it is. Overall its the same as his regular voice, he just gets silly with it. i noticed that he still does retain some of his lisp when hes screaming his lungs out at Vanellope, however, so maybe he genuinely does have a lisp that makes itself known when furious :3

another thing i noticed is how he hisses his S's. very cool very cool the reptilian

@/tasticturbo made a post abt how he has tinnitus from the constant noise in his game and i couldnt agree more

AND THE PRESCRIPTION GLASSES. where did he get those...he needs to See

side note, the aforementioned account has made so many interesting analyses on turbo and theyre all so insightful. i recommend u check them out

i think he gets migraines from stress. constant buzzing or pain flood his head but hes like "IDGAF i need to DO something at ALL TIMES no matter what"

hes like a shark in that way. if hes not moving he'll die instantly. idk a lot about sharks or if thats how it works srry but im going off of what the Worms are saying to me and i dont have much to work with

i think a really big contributer as to why he lacks in the self care department is because he fails to notice that something in his body is wrong. hes far too distracted on something he thinks is more important than remembering to Eat Food or Drink Water or Wash Himself or

he's like "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT ALL OF THE TIME!!! I HATE MY LIFE" and he hasn't slept in 4 days

hes so me. Sorry.

i dont think turbo is necessarily suicidal, but the way he behaves shows a clear disregard for his own safety and wellbeing. he thinks that he knows what he needs but he really doesnt :-[ i think he has some kind of immortality complex, feeling untouchable and like nothing could get to him. as scared as he was when ralph was about to turn him into sloppy mush, he didnt take the threat very seriously. like it was some kind of joke

his kart regenerates every time his game starts up, so what if he smashed it into buildings for fun. He's the number one fan of car accidents. he is all about that shit

i think his living space would literally be a garage btw. its a place to sleep and a space for his car all in one!! he thinks its very convenient and awesome but i think he is coping. he has some old dingy stained sheetless mattress that he has never washed in his life and its covered in dirt and smoke particles. no wonder he has such heavy eye bags Dude Please

the turbo twins have a garage used in a similar way, and while its still pretty shitty, they still at least TRY to maintain it. they just fight a lot over who has to care of it. nobody taught them how to take turns ever

but this aint about them. maybe another day

i think that turbo would find comfort in garbage and keeping it around because its familiar to him. a big clean empty space would make him so mad and if anyone moves even an inch of scrap off to the side he will throw a fit. he generally doesnt pay attention to his surroundings but when its his personal space he is 1093 times more neurotic

i think the big empty castle he stole wouldve been a big transition for him. maybe it helped him clear his mind a little more to practice his tricky schemes...it helped him get more subtle

thats all i have for nowww ty for reading ^_^ if anyone else has any wacky ideas pleeeease tell me i would love to hear them!!

[nart-is-a-monster]

The following post contains people hating on a character on a skirt and a brief mention of sa and unaliving, please if any of those is something that triggers you skip the post and take care of yourself.

lets begin with the boundaries that i have

I do not feel comfortable with minors going to this or my nsfw acc simply because, is not a safe place for you to go (not even social media too but that's a different talk)

I do not like people going into any of my acc's to send my draws or content to minors bc... bitch do i even have to explain how fucked up that part is?

And last but not least; if you're going to talk shit about me at least talk shit with bases and evidence, how do you not have the first and most important rule about gossip? like??????

booooo tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes

I will not name anyone that was involved because first of all,they are minors and even tho they are old enough to know that what they're doing is wrong, naming them could do more harm than good and I think they are able to change if they just accept that their actions have consequences.... I'll be also using neutral pronouns for the ppl involved.

if you know the ppl that are in the screenshots please don't share their social media or acc's to avoid them getting harassed, also please don't harass the people mentioned here.

with that being said!

this situation has been happening for i think the last month when someone informed me about someone talking shit about my art on a private discord server.

I think that the concept of blocking blogs that have stuff that you're triggered or you don't vibe with is very simple to understand.

the persons that have been talking about how i don't draw normal stuff and how dare i to draw varian in a dress and being cute ohh no god forbid....

I don't know if you can't realize maybe I'm drawing Varian (A CHARACTER THAT DOESNT EVEN EXISTS) as trans masc and trans fem, and that anyone can have their hc and any hc are valid!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I DO OR DRAW JUST DON'T FOLLOW ME ¡is that simple!

the situation with the person who is the owner of the server where they talk shit about me has not moderate well the place and allowed ppl to hate talk about a creator who they don't even know, neither talk to, nor they should interact with.

I tried to confront the person by sending them a text message on tumblr, said text message has been ignored and the person simply uploaded a new post back then, so....

also im going to tag this with vat7k bc the problem happened inside the fandom.

screenshots and more details under the cut

how to respect other people's boundaries

aparently y'all need a tutorial

"A certain kind of guided, detailed writing can not only help us process what we’ve been through and assist us as we envision a path forward; it can lower our blood pressure, strengthen our immune systems, and increase our general well-being. Expressive writing can result in a reduction in stress, anxiety, and depression; improve our sleep and performance; and bring us greater focus and clarity."

this is from an article of harvard that explains how writting helps to heal trauma.

remember to inform yourself before talking or using terms you don't know the meaning

trauma bonding definition

what is destructive criticism

I can accept criticism when it comes from a place of pointing out a part of my artwork that can be upgraded or a different technique i could use, or even the pose or the technical aspect of a painting/drawing, what is literally just insulting an artwork because you don't like it and have no grounds for it and is just hate... that's what i don't accept.

criticism and arguments come from a ground of respect from the both sides, not from only straight up hate and disrespect.

that's all i have to say abt it all...

please remember to be safe online and even more if youre a minor

how to be safe online

[conanssummerchild]

some of the most common prickcest fics i feel like are precanon fics of like young rick from when he was still with diane (theres a lot of young ricks, what are we calling him? wife guy?) and he's cheating on her with prime before he even offers him a portal gun, and i believe ive also seen a few people analysing this scenario, like what if rick actually did know prime before that meeting we see in the show, so i want to add to that by saying that what if that actually happened and yknow how rick reveals to beth in bethic twinstinct that he's also been with other versions of himself, what if beth and space beth reminded him of him and prime and how he was cheating on diane and then he lost her forever at the hands of the man he was having an affair with (at his own hands) :3 and also lost his beth

which is why rick said "remember, its not just your ice cream you're forgetting, it's your family's" or smth. because he forgot his familys ice cream too much, and then he lost them (not that im saying he thinks space beth would do that but also, we dont know.)

space beth and prime are shown as kind of the edgier versions of beth and rick, prime and space beth even have similar sci-fi-ish outfits maroon-ish undershirt, diagonal hanging belt thing, streak in hair, dark leggings/trousers with some kind of leg cuff or something?

ok yeah, thats it really, im only saying this bcs i feel like it could have great angst potential for like rick remembering how he did the same and it went so much worse. maybe even showing another step that pushed him back into his rick prime relapse

(the first being of course solaricks, where he revisits his original dimension, stuck in the day he lost diane and beth, and then comes close to getting prime in that base thing place, then in bethic twinstinct he maybe sees everything i've just said in this post and he feels it pushing him deeper into going back to it, all the bad memories of when he and prime did the same as beth², wanting to avenge diane yk, that stuff, and then in analyse piss we already knew he sympathised with pissmaster because he related to him, he saw himself in him and stuff, well what if that also pushed him into isolation, bcs the worse he felt the more he was willing to destroy himself again, and then ofc in a rick in king morturs mort, when he thinks morty doesnt care abt him its like the final drop that overflows the cup (is that an expression in english? who cares, you get what i mean) like what if its a gradual build up)

anyway this post is getting away from me, but yeah um idk, rick has a lot of trauma is the point. he blames himself for dianes death we already know that but what if in part its bcs he was screwing prime. make that old man suffer :3

[ellieeatsnot]

vent abt $h:

About two days about i relapsed after two weeks clean. it was just after a rough start to my morning, snow ruined my attempt to get help with a therapist and it through me threw a loop.

the funny thing (that’s prob just funny to me) is that i accidentally dropped my last blade into the sink while using it to pop my cystic acne lmao. it was a wood burning kit tool blade. one of the sharper things i’ve used.

anyway my dumb ass self bought like a whole ass $h kit the next day. i bought shaving razors primarily because i needed to shave and had none, but then proceeded to buy new bandaids (because the old ones were giving me gross blistering rashes) and scar healing stuff. then broke open a razor when i got home. i didn’t do anything that day but the next i had my rough start and bla bla bla relapsed.

i wasn’t expecting this flimsy ass sheet metal of a razor to cvt as deep as it did. like instant gratification, straight to white. something that in the past i would have needed to go over multiple times to achieve. i kinda scared myself but the blood stopped relatively fast and i was able to put on a bandage and yeah.

today was definitely a wake up call though. it’s about 3pm and i get a call from my best friend. she has frequently struggled with $h, far more than me and has in the past used it to try and off herself. almost worked she had to get surgery and whatnot. i’m so glad it didn’t because i probably wouldn’t be around if she didn’t come into my life. a few months ago she expressed to me about a deeper cvt she did in her thigh at the start of 2024. which relates to this story because she went through the same emotions she did today as then except im so happy i could be there to calm her and reassure her things are going to be okay.

anyway, i get her call and of course i immediately answer. i’ll always answer her calls after all it’s probably one of my greatest fears something could happen to her. i answer and at first im not gonna lie i thought she was laughing but then i realized she was actually crying. i hate the way i responded. “woah! what’s wrong are you okay” i mean it could have been way less shocked and a whole lot more respectful and calm. i think i reacted the way i did because i thought she was laughing at first.

but she then goes on to explain to me, panicked, that she cvt too far. i’m shaking i don’t know if she’s hit a vein or something. i don’t know if it’s in need of stitches, she’s just expressing to me how she has no one to go to and how scared she is and how she doesn’t want it to get infected. i manage to calm her down a little bit, i tried to figure out where it was but she broke down a little so i missed that. once she’s semi calmed down again i tell her and ask her what she can do. and eventually she’s laughing at my jokes and we talk for a good 30min on the phone.

i know that this really scared her. i’ll never be upset with her for scaring or asking me for help. never. i love her so much i just hope that she can genuinely see that i am so happy to support her and love her when she doesn’t have that support at home.

the point of sharing this story is to show to myself that i need to be strong for her. i can’t let stupid things trigger me to cvt deeper. i need to work on my emotional intelligence with reassuring and understanding people. my best friend is so strong and so intelligent and im so grateful to have her in my life. but in a way, and i don’t know how to express this without sounding like a dick, but i am thankful she shows me how serious and intense $h can be if im not careful. she is also teaching me how to trust and form deep emotional relationships where i can learn how to comfort and communicate these difficult situations and feelings. now of course i dont like that she’s experiencing this. i’m not sadistic. i love her so much and she absolutely deserves to live out her dream life, marrying a kind and caring man, having kids, and enjoying the rest of her life in peace and i would do anything to provide that to her. but i can appreciate that i can be there for her and learn from these things.

[lokissweater]

POOKIE IF U SAY WE ARE SOULMATES THEN WE AREEE VERY MUCH MARRIED AND HAPPY AND SKIPPING THRU THE FIELDS INTO THE SUNSET TG 😞💞💞💞 honeymoon phase never ends ong w the loml that matches my freak 😻😻😻 BUT BUT DID UR MAN INSPIRE THAT SCENE CUZ GODDAMN LEMME GIVE HIM A THUMBS UP BC i became that old man falling down the stairs outside of his trailer meme (I hope yk what I’m talking abt bc I can’t put it in the ask 😞😞😞😞) damn like where can I get a man like gojo where he’s hella obsessed w me and can’t live without me bc im his like reasoning to live, like if u don’t tweak out when im not w u then no (my future man must be down horrendous for me) 😻😻😻

And omfg IM SO EXCITED TO SEE READER BESTIE AND YUJI 🥹🥹 I love readers bsf and she’s such a girl’s girl, genuinely 😭😭💞💞 I wish I could have someone as supportive as her and truly wants the best for her bestie… (not that my friends aren’t like that, I have the type of friends I don’t usually talk abt boy stuff w 😞) and yuji w her too omg match made in heaven my two babies i love them sm 🥹🫶 and gumi-bear… (ngl id have that as his contact name it’s like gummy bear LMAO) I wonder what his reaction would be to reader in the cheer uniform……. 😳😳😳 like imagine other teams eyeing his precious while she’s js having fun training w her bestie 🤭🤭

anyways ahem… lemme propose to u a freaky deak thought… let’s say like reader is yk taking in her mans saber right right and he has the possessive edge to him to like poke it in the inside of her cheek yk and have like…………… 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ I need to be exorcised sorry my demons came out 😞💦

ps. WHAT NENDOS DID U BUY MY LOVE OMFOOGMGOGMG… I collect nendos too and I have like 6 atm (I wanna get more so bad but the aftermarket is so ewie)

HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR DAY NICKIPOO MUAH MUAH 😻😻😻💞💞💞

- 🎀

FOOORRRR REEEAALLL WE ARE LITERALLY FROLICKING THROUGH THE FOREST IN SEARCH FOR MUSHROOMS AND SUCH TO BREW AND BOIL A NICE LITTLE STEW WHEN WE GET BACK TO OUR TINY CUTE COTTAGE HOMEEE MAANNNN !!!!!

AND NO HE DID NAWT ! the freak thought came to me as i was writing it 🫦🫦🫦 bc though he did do that to me once it was SOOOO FUCKING LONG AGO THAT I HAD FORGOTTEN UNTIL YOUR LAST ASK HAHAHAH

and i’m not one to ask for it man like it has to come from your body mind and soul that’s the only way i’ll get nasty over it 🫦🫦 so he can STAY being a loser until he does it again i’ll keep yall posted !!! 😻😻😻 AND I DO KNOW WHICH MEME UR TALKING ABOUT I STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD 😭😭

no because you’re absolutely right WHEEEREEE is my gojo in real life where he actually feels like he’s suffocating without me?? that he is so down bad and obsessed that he literally cries when i am not near ??? when he blows up my phone when i don’t answer in over two hours??? perhaps less ??? i need beetlejuice!gojo where he would literally bargain with eternal banishment with no fucks given if it meant the chance to be with me again 😐😐😐 THE REAL WORLD IS LAME !!!

OMG NO LITERALLY I LOOOVEEE READERS BEST FRIEND SHES BEEENN TAKING GOOD CARE OF HER SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL AND GUARDS READER LIKE A LITTLE SISTER 😭😭 !!!! and my baby blue bows i want you to know that you can talk to me about literally WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT IDGAAAFFF !! I WILL BE THIS FRIEND FOR YOU HONEY !!! talking about men especially 2d men is my favorite topic i fear 😻😻

GUMI BEAR IM DEAD THAT IS SO FUCKING CUTE 😭😭😭 THE WAY I WOULD TO it fits so mf good and i just know he’d huff and puff over it but the little shit LIIIKKEEESSSS ITTT so much and would never admit it 😝😝🫶 and i just KNOOOWWW mlb!megumi is squirming in his seat watching her train because 1) she looks so scrumptdiliumptious and wants to slip a hand up that skirt and 2) !!! the football players are being dickheads with no sense of respect and OGGLING at her and her best friends goods, to the point where him and yuji COLLECTIVELY are roasting in a pit of flamboyant anger and bother bc fuck you mean “she has nice tits” 🤣🤣🤣 ??? DEATH !!! TO ALL OF THEM !!!

and also … your freak thought made me go into cardiac arrest. BJ mlb!megumi WILL be coming in the next one no questions asked.

OH MY GOD WHICH ONES DO YOU HAAAVVEEE !!! bye this is embarrassing i got TWO and spent like 120 dollars ….. one was sora from kingdom hearts he was actually EIGHTY FUCKING DOLLARS UM ??? it’s ok because gumi already said he was gonna send the money over 😻💕💕🙏 AND THEN I GOT SIR MEGUMI HIMSEELLFFF AAAUURRR AUR AUR GONNA LAY IT NEXT TO ME WHEN I GO NIGHT NIGHT 🫦🫦🫦

I LOVE YOUUU SO SO SO MUCH MY BABY BLUE BOWS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIIISSSSS 🥹🥹💕💕💕💕 I CANT WAIT UNTIL YOU COME BACK !!!

[cheemken]

Im curious about your au👀

Just what happened that Vertin got possessed? Would the others know it's Arcana and not Vertin?

Hehehe finally I get to talk abt this

Anyways for context, it's this lil drawing I made hahah

But yeah, what I had in mind for this au is like,, a mission that went awry. I had this au prior to the reveal of chapter 7, but w chapter 7 in the works, well, ofc this now turned to some sort of canon divergent au

The main premise is that yeah a mission that went awry and Vertin and her team retreated back to the Suitcase somewhere safe. The thing is, Vertin became desperate, she knew they were outnumbered, it was a losing battle, especially how injured some of her friends are. So she decided on smth

Once she was sure everyone was inside the suitcase, she called in Sonetto, y'know, asked her to have a walk a her outside the suitcase. And stuff happened, Sonetto seeing Vertin seal the suitcase shut, and she's there wondering why, and suddenly Vertin gives her a teleport ritual, as she hands her the suitcase too. Vertin telling her that hey, the seal will be broken once Sonetto finds a safe place to stay, she doesn't care where, the Foundation, Green Lake, Laplace, as long as it's safe, as long as it's far away as to where they currently are

Sonetto ofc refused, she's not leaving the Timekeeper behind, but Vertin was desperate, she doesn't want anyone to get hurt anymore, and used her authority as Timekeeper and Sonetto's superior to order her to leave, to find a safe place, and aughgh ur honour it's so messy, that Vertin really has to shove Sonetto out the way bc she can hear the footsteps of the Manus followers. And so, Sonetto ran, and ran, as far away as she could, before using the ritual, teleporting back to the Foundation

And this is where things get fun ouo

But like, I don't think I can really type it out in its entirety bc hey I might get reported, but in a nutshell it involves Schneider's guns, Arcana's manipulation and illusions (like that scene in c2), Vertin's old friends, Schneider's guns shoved in Vertin's mouth, cannibalism, and oranges lmfao

So mind break, in a way, Arcana breaking Vertin so much so to the point that Vertin's mind doesn't know what's real and what's not anymore. Vertin being so vulnerable, that it was the perfect time for Arcana to just,, lodge her wand through Vertin's head too, taking full control of her

I had this idea that,, Arcana really played the role of Vertin well

Bc she came back to the Foundation, and ofc, in he eyes of everyone it's just Vertin, finally she's back, finally she's home, as her team rushes to her and was so damn happy she's back. Vertin even apologized to Sonetto, for using her authority to push her away, but Sonetto always tried to understand her, she knew it was for the best

But yeah I think a few would notice

Druvis would, I think she would, bc she was from Manus, she's familiar w the aura Arcana has, she feels it from Vertin. But in her mind, well, ofc, bc Vertin was kinda held hostage by Manus, by Arcana, perhaps Vertin was still getting used to not being there anymore, that the stench of death that usually follows Manus Vindictae would be temporary on Vertin

I think Regulus would notice too, solely for the fact Vertin now doesn't indulge her on listening to their favourite record. Vertin never refused that, not ever, that was the first alarm that went off her head. The second is when Vertin started using that baton of a wand she has more and more, and she uses it in a way that hey, it's not like a conductor leading an orchestra, no, it's more like a seasoned arcanist w a deep knowledge of magic

And Sonetto, ofc, ever perceptive, always w the Timekeeper. Back then, whenever Vertin looks at her, it makes her feel warm inside, knowing she still has her by her side. Now, whenever Vertin looks at her, well,, she feels uneasy, like she's a prey being stalked by a predator, that one wrong move and she'll get killed. But,, that can't be, the Timekeeper is the kindest person she knows, so,, what's wrong?

But also can you imagine, in Vertin's mindscape, Arcana just forces her to watch as she gains the trust of Vertin's friends. Oh, how exciting it'd be to watch them all fall one by one once they find out the truth. Or rather, once they fall by the hands of their precious Timekeeper, of their dearest friend Vertin.

[omophagic-beast]

for the tarot rpg ask game! The Fool, The Empress, The Hierophant, The Chariot, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Sun!

!!! wowow hi!! thank you for all the questions, im gonna put them under a read more as to not clog up peoples dashes

from this ask game

The Fool – What do the earliest stages of work on a game look like for you? OR How did you get into game design?

i have a notes discord server! and a channel in there specifically for game ideas. previously i had a big word document titled "game ideas", but its easier to access discord from my phone lol

usually i have an idea and i stick it in there first

heres the start of the pillars of creation :3

and then ill noodle around with it, just brainstorm and slap spaghetti around. this is another reason why i like discord for this at the moment, its informal and easy, much less daunting than a word doc

i didnt end up using most of the bits here lol

and then ill move it into a word doc once its clear that ive got an actual project / game starting to form!

the one problem with this is sometimes ill keep an idea in there for much longer than i should and it becomes a mess of me replying to myself, terrible to follow. this is the current problem with moonlight whaling, sigh

The Empress — Where do your ideas come from? OR Do you seek out or avoid inspiration while working on an idea?

a lot of places!! tumblr being one of them, sometimes ill see a post where im like "huh that could be a game in some way" and ill stick it in my notes discord for later. but really anything, books, movies, songs, other games. im not the first to say this but u gotta read / watch / experience new things to make new things

The Hierophant — Who is a fellow game designer you’ve learned a lot from? OR What is a piece of popular wisdom about games you think is nonsense?

i answered the second one here so ill answer the first!

ive learned a lot from any designer whos game ive played or read, to start. but i wanna shout out @thydungeongal on here, her posts abt game design and rollmaster / d&d are highly highly fascinating and helpful to me, as a guy who hasnt even played d&d let alone any old school stuff and just kinda jumped into the indie scene from the start.

kinda makes me wanna play rollmaster, ngl. whats it doin with all those mechanics and tables =w=

The Chariot — What is the next project you’re planning to start OR What is the next project you’re excited to finish?

this has been my big question to myself recently, what game to really focus in on next. i have games that just need to be finished, but i think my next one* is gonna be this time travel game ive been thinking of

working title is Hooked, and the reason i think im going to start (and finish) it next is cause ive already got the main mechanic figured out, where when you fail a roll you can choose to create a hook, and in doing so succeed the roll

but that hook is a place where a future you has traveled back to that point in time and given you what you needed to succeed, which means at some point youre going to have to come back and close the loop, or else risk creating a paradox

too many paradoxes and the universe explodes so like. be careful :3!

it is going to be a lot of work, i want the general aesthetic to be the journal of a time traveler, with notes from all their future and past selves scrawled in the margins in different colors. and theres the question of if its a solo game or multiplayer, or both. solo-friendly is my current thought, but encouraged for more than one person. but we'll see how it actually plays.

The Hanged Man — What other creative pursuits do you have? OR What current trends in game design are you most interested in?

someone should ask me this again cause i wanna answer the other one also :3c

but! i have a crochet project on the mind so i wanna talk abt other stuff im into also :3

im currently considering ADHD and how it could possibly relate to myself, so just keep that in mind when i say ive dipped my paws into a whoooole lot of different creative hobbies. sewing, knitting, pottery, bookbinding, needle felting, jewelry making, and yea, crochet, are all stuff ive been into at one point or another

but my favorites are crochet and cooking / baking. for most of my life i thought my career was gonna be in food service! ive been a baker, cake decorator, and diner cook before, and loved all three of those jobs.

and crochet is great mainly cause you can make stuffed animals / amigurimis >:33 i loooove little guys and being able to choose what soft yarn im gonna make em out of, though its been a minute since ive made one. but!! like i mentioned ive got a project on the mind, as im gonna try and make the "something strange and indescribable" from the Before the Flood backerkit campaign and im very excited abt it :3 stay tuned for posts abt my success or failure on this front

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

NIGHTHAWKS by @titanrpg is really really good. it has a heart in it, one that beats at an all too-familiar rhythm. when i played it we told a story that was perhaps a touch too close to home as well, disparate sad people sitting several stools apart at a dive bar in a small town.

i have a tendency towards comedy when i play ttrpgs, but my favorite moments are all when ive been deeply serious and sad, and thats what i got from NIGHTHAWKS

The Tower — Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned.

center of the known universe was an anthology of games i wanted to make a while back, all inspired by the part of the nevadan desert i live in. i dont think its crashed and burned necessarily but i certainly never finished it and im not sure i ever will, though i still like the ideas for some of the games and may release them individually

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

a game ive been working on for a looong time that i dont think ive really talked abt on here is The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused. its a descended from the queen game based on The Lady or The Tiger? short story, where (to put it very briefly) a king has created a new form of justice where the accused is put in an arena with two identical doors in front of them.

behind one door, a lady of an appropriate social standing for them to marry, behind the other a very hungry tiger. this leaves the verdict up to fate, for if the accused is innocent they will surely pick the door with the lady, and if they are guilty they will choose the door with the tiger.

but the accused in the story is also the lover of the lands princess, and when they look back at her for the last time she raises a hand and points towards one of the doors.

the question in the story is one of love. would the princess rather see her lover dead, or married to someone else?

what comes through the door, the lady or the tiger?

but! there are other characters in this story, with agency and lives of their own.

The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused instead asks a question of trust. when The Accused looks back towards their princess, and she raises her hand, do they trust her? do they open the door that she points towards?

its a game for three players, with each person playing one of the titular characters. it uses the descended from the queen format to create the character of the princess throughout play, along with the characters of The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused.

its a good game!! ive got a bit more work to do on it, mainly on the tiger role. not everyone is comfortable being an actual tiger and role playing scenes that involve communicating with humans or attending parties and such, it turns out.

but im really excited abt it overall :3 its good and fun and i think it uses the descended from the queen format really well and hopefully one day ill do a crowdfunding project for it and get enough money to hire a bunch of different artists to make princess illustrations for it >:333

The Sun — Talk about a game you’ve made that you’re proud of.

im proud of all of my games, in one way or another. but, with an obligatory Before the Flood mention (crowdfunding now!), im really and truly proud of my body is your body is our body is

it was my first kinda big game that i published, and there was a lot of stuff with the first edition i really wasnt super happy with. im really, really proud of myself for finally going back in this year and fixing it. its so much better now! in a lot of ways.

and i mean it was good to start with also, most of my problems were with the programming side of it. when i was making the second edition reading back through the game made me cry a bit lol. theres a lot of banger lines in there and a lot of feelings.

[possibilistfanfiction]

Genuine question, how did you figure out or realize the whole being butch thing? What does being butch mean to you?

idk if it was like… figure out? more so just putting a name to something i’ve always felt or known about myself. i came out as a lesbian, then i came out as nb, then i was like well i want gender affirming care so that must mean i am Trans™️, & it’s like… none of those words or kind of… vibes (lol sorry) quite fit? i don’t feel like a cis lesbian, & i actually kind of despise non-binary as a concept (don’t send asks abt this i won’t answer them lol, do ur own thing if u love it that’s cool); i think for me personally Transness is a little too serious & intense & limiting to how i feel. & im a white afab person in a smaller body, & honestly…….. we are often the wooooorst demographic of trans ppl lmao so i just didn’t even rly like some spaces i was in. i got the most important gender affirming care i wanted, i moved & i got married, i got to work remotely etc

& so just sitting with all of that it was like. ok well a lot of neoliberal queer spaces piss me the fuck off; i’m not cis, but i’m not TRANS in the way a lot of ppl (very validly) feel; i do Not like nb. i’d read stone butch blues before, i have a degree in critical theory where i worked a loooot w queer theory, obviously i’ve written abt queerness for ages lol. so then i was just like ah. butch. dyke. YAH! sweet. 100/10 feels amazing i love it

& i think for me i love those words most bc they’re rooted in really radical belief that i have. they carry an ethic with them that, at its best & most intersectional ofc, i want to act on, all the time. i want to show up for people & be protective & tough & strong but i also so deeply want to be nurturing & nourishing. i want to allow myself to be nourished & cared for. i think it feels rly wonderful to have a word for transgressive gender that sums it all up bc people lived it before me. they made that very specific & particular space to experience femininity in a way that doesn’t feel like a noose.

i think also butchness is so expansive! something that never sat right w me abt the way we talk abt transness in the west is that i don’t think there are ‘pre’ & ‘post’ transition selves. like… i’ve never been Not Me? like i came out of the womb a dyke. all i did my entire childhood is run around in the mountains, catalogue leaves, play w my dog, read nancy drew, & avidly watch + play any women’s soccer i could. i loved to fish & mountain bike, i grew up in the desert so gardening to me was a miracle. i never cared abt gender at all beyond like ‘well i guess i’m a girl & the women i admire just won a world cup, they’re badass’ & that was it. i liked boys clothes bc they were practical & felt better, but i just. didn’t think about it. ppl called me a tomboy which was fine, i liked scout in to kill a mockingbird so whatever. but i never felt “non-binary” & i certainly never felt like a boy.

& i am… still just like that lmao. i hated my boobs, point blank day 1 lol, but that doesn’t have to mean i’m trans, or that i’ve somehow changed in a way that requires separation from who i’ve been my whole life. i HATE the language of ‘dead/lived’ name; i hate the weird expectation that u should allow the state to have all of ur gender stuff on record (no fucking thank you, y’all can keep my legal name & i will be flying under the radar lol). so i think western transness rly just. irritates me. doesn’t fit. hasn’t ever fit.

so butchness is like. i am 8 year old jude, i’m just older now. if this makes sense ur butch lmao but. it’s this rly free space to play w masculinity in a way that doesn’t necessitate western transness, & also doesn’t necessitate a separation from maternalism, which i fundamentally believe in. i don’t even rly think of my own care as “gender affirming” & more just like… essence affirming. i didn’t want top surgery so my body could be read as male; i wanted it so i could look like me. i want my clothes to feel & fit in a Very particular way bc that’s how i like them. it’s abt practicality, efficiency, comfort.

& lastly to me butchness has a remarkable space for tenderness that masculinity on its own just cannot hold. like. it’s abt being protective & strong, sure, but it’s in service of others. always always always. so sometimes that looks like communicating calmly, sometimes that looks like infinite small acts of service for ur friends or ur partner. when i think of settling into myself it’s more about returning to who i knew i was when i was a kid, when i was the only person my dog liked & how it felt to sit on the swings when the sun was setting after the monsoon; it’s allowing myself to love like that — caring, & quiet, & full.

ultimately to me butchness is about devotion, more than anything in the world. devoted to safety, devoted to community. no one is devoted the way dykes are bc it’s how we survive. it’s how we have always survived — the steadfastness, the faith, the joy, even thru suffering, to not be boxed in. to help each other. to be funny & kind & thoughtful & not reject the absolute best parts of womanhood for the sake of a western box. to demand care. it’s so beautiful. devotion.

tldr it’s the best

[beatcroc]

Okay I finally generated an ask for you!!!!

What is your favourite genre of music? Or if you don't know how to categorize the music you listen to (like me), what is your favourite song? Or band? Or album? Something like that.

ohhhhh #1 question i am categorically incapable of being normal about <3

i typically just define my favorite music as "loud" or "aggressive" or "abrasive" bc most stuff that fits those descriptors will be in my faves regardless of the genre.

a more specific answer is that there are 3 main things i've noticed that will typically make me go apeshit without fail and they are: 1. hardstyle/gabber/industrial hardcore- sorta basskick 2. sickass metal guitar shredding 3. huge dramatic grandiose orchestral

if something has 1 of these i will probably like it, if it has 2 it will be a top fave, and all 3.... well i have yet to find it yet but im sure i will Ascend. here are examples of said top fave combos.

laur covers hardstyle+orchestral and i Cannot Get Enough of his shit man it goes so fucking crazy hard

metal+orchestral is unquestionably ruled by nightwish, but theyre not on bandcamp and i dont feel like finding other links so this one goes to the still-very-fucking-awesome runner-up, POWERWOLF

riikira and rabbitjunk hit metal+hardstyle, though it's less strictly hardstyle and more just general hardcore* electronica. if its got crazy amens its enough who cares. i put the ones that use actual kicks for the sake of illustrating the point here but these tracks are both pretty far from my faves from each lmao *hardcore referring to hardcore [edm] in this case, even though the genre these belong to is called "digital hardcore", which instead refers to hardcore [punk]. it's a mess out here. did you know theres two completely different things called doomcore where one is derived from metal and the other is derived from hardcore. and you never know which itsd going to be when you click on something in the doomcore tag. im dying squirtle

anyway on the other side of the hardstyle+metal combo is kobaryo [with his alias blaxervant], who's much more about the hardcore side of things and just has the metal as flair, but it is still: the best shit ever

laur also on occasion hits this side of hardstyle+metal becaue he just likes using whatever the fuck instruments

there are of course many other things i love a lot, primary examples being ambient/atmospheric, folk, and anything with a lot of Texture. im not gonna get into all that but i do have an extended list of faves/recs from the last time i was asked about this and went insane abt it. it took forever to make and my actual recs are not entirely the same as my Faves so im putting it on here too.

i keep these curated to the top of my bandcamp profile so they're the first things that display there. it's a bit old by now and some have since been shuffled out, but it's still like 80% accurate.

as for the actual recs: the angel's message is there because it's my fave brand of intense and chaotic stuff and want it to kill you full force. it already has some tracks up there so im not re-linking it

this one i recommend just because i think it's really interesting and out there and i'm curious what other people think of this sort of stuff. it's also the prime example of what i mean when i talk about Textures in music.

wolfgun is an actual rec for being genuinely just really good music. probably the most objectively cool/platonically enjoyable thing in my library

[kosmicdream]

Ode to Togashi

Stream of conscientious incoherent rant about manga/hxh below, read at your own discretion as i AM NOT EDITING IT: 

While I’m still in the mood to talk about art and what i love about manga, i feel like i wanted to share (some) of my thoughts on why HXH continues to be one of my favorite stories. Togashi’s writing method continues to be probably like, the closest one that i aspire to replicate in my own work, partly because i love to see how much it builds and learns from itself, reinvents itself, ect. But i DONT think Hxh is perfect, even if i wouldn’t change anything about it or togashi’s writing style. 

When I first got into HXH, it was actually through the old anime. I watched that all the way thru before reading the manga, and when i was watching the anime it was during a period of time when i hated all shonen. I still kinda hate “the shonen” model, despite loving many shonen series, but something abt HXH pulled me in to give it a try and i was quickly hooked. I of course, already had experience with YYH growing up as a teen but i somehow missed HXH completely until my early 20s. I had already started trying comics by then, but it was EGGSHELLS and i had not started FFAK at that point.

HXH almost lost me at greed island my first round, ngl. I appreciate it now, andi still think the set up for Greed island was amazing but the arc itself.. I was not into it, mostly cause i think the villain for it was kinda lackluster and i didn’t really think the world of greed island had a strong design sense. There was interesting aspects, i enjoyed Bisque as a new character and she helped carry a LOT of the weight of that arc for me, but it was kind of a drag. IDK if it was also partly the adaptation for that arc, but i didn’t enjoy it much more in manga form either. It just went a bit faster. However, the end of that arc and the final fight was surprisingly brutal and enjoyable, which made me optimistic and helped me to continue. And then the chimera ant arc was the first arc i read ONLY manga first and i truly fell in love with it, obsessed even. That arc, as many readers already know, is probably like the closest thing to FFAK’s “Parent” for inspiration. Obviously, FFAK draws from a lot of things (Trigun is probably the 2nd strongest influence on FFAK) but it isn’t quite the same as HXH. As MUCH as i adore hunter x hunter part of me does cringe and laugh that like, in the end, a battle shonen manga still excited me that much but like.. As MUCH as i clearly love battle manga.. I am so over them. You know? Who cares. IMO. No matter how great it looks, i probably am never going to be more impressed (visually) with an action scene than the ones Yukito Kishiro drew. He did it, He won the action manga game to me. I have no idea what’s actually happening in Gunnm most of the time but as far as the visual spectacle of it all, it literally doesn't even make sense how good his action scenes look. (I could talk a lot about Gunnm too, but i’ll save that for another time IG) Like how the fuck does someone draw that good and it just made everything else by comparison just like, not.. Matter too much to me anymore. Which is great, because I can then look at other aspects for a work rather than just being drawn in by the visuals. And stuff. 

Where i’m at now.. I dont want to read another, even if its drawn well and .. the powers are SO powering or whatever. And i love to draw action scenes, they’re really hard and i still have so much more to go to learn about them. At best, I think im okay at them. But even when i work, i just get tired now so i cut them down a lot. Thats partly because i jsut dont have the time to draw fighting scenes. So i kind of feel embarrassed by a lot of them that ive made, i know I was lazy. Lazy in a way I’m not proud of the result, but im proud of the compromises to get the shit done. Which is the most important think in the end, to juggle your own expectations and limitations with the timeframe you have to get somewhere you need to go. I will still read more action/battle manga in the future.. But im in no rush. And im certain, for the most part, they arent going to teach me anything I don’t already know. They might entertain me and i might be like “..huh!” at a few things, but my expectation for them to do more than that is pretty low. I’m delighted when im wrong, but i cannot deny the apathy towards them is super deep. Togashi to me, is one those authors, that makes me really wake up and realize there’s still a lot of unexpected territory out there. 

He writes like an enthusiastic newbie, not a seasoned old timer that he is, who basically helped popularize the “tournament arc” and “dark edgy shonen” stuff with YYH. All his characters in HXH are geniuses, which is kind of a valid critique and can be annoying as hell too… Id say most readers dont really get how the hell nen works, yet somehow the story still functions so well in its character motivations/conflicts that it kinda doesn’t matter too much that.. It doesnt really make sense? We have to relearn what nen is basically every arc. Its not gonna stick. And yet im just so excited every time it updates and i really want to know what he wants to do with his new arc, if he is going to be able to do it. Nen to me is like a fake fantasy science that is tangible and real yet also you’re in a dream and you try to read the letters on a page, and you can read it but if you stare hard at it. The words are just blurs, or it doesn’t really connect. I like that there’s this malleable illusion that it functions in a way, that is concrete, but it isn’t really. But its enough that i can believe that for the characters, who are also not real, it is real for them. 

The fact that i can talk about “”””NeN””” like this to me is essentially why it becomes the perfect shonen to me because it takes itself so seriously, so genuinely, yet it also is nonsense but not in the way where its like.. Irony poisoned, “gotcha” twists? Im sick of all these subverting shonens that arent subverting anything. Or even just the attitude that is what makes a good shonen these days is to subvert, diminish, laugh, ect at shonen while completely stepping inside the same footprints again and again. So much manga just wants to be dragon ball, but dragon ball was good cuz it was just a fun, well drawn action manga that wasn’t trying to BE dragonball. It was just dragon ball. (maybe now its trying to be dragon ball, which is why i dont care about whatever sequel attempt we’re at now, but that’s another story.) Its fun to me that i dont know if Gon is gonna come back in Hxh. like, maybe he will and his powers will be restored ect.. But at the time of writing this, and for YEARS we just.. Have the main pals of the manga separated. Their friendship has changed. There’s a great shift in it. Gon met his dad, who sucks, but that kind of was his main quest. Sure, we have kurapika’s arc, and many other routes to go - but in a weird way HXH is done and it isn’t done at the same time. I’m just like, what are we going to do now. TOGASHI said flat earth real and was like, the other half of it is UNEXPLORED AND SO DARN DANGEROUS and theres SOM BIGGGGG DINOSAURS THERE and it just feels so gleefully like.. You’re on the swingset and some kid just keeps having to up the stakes but in the most kid-like way possible. For serious. But Togashi’s 58. But he’s right too, the dark continent IS so cool.. I just imagine leorio going there and getting so sick and shitting mutant diahrea and dying the SECOND he sets foot there and its awesome. That’s NOT what’s going to happen but im delighted at the opportunity.

This is the point where I’m writing something when i take a pause and wonder how the hell i got here. I have skimmed the above written text. Whatever point i think i was going to make, wasn’t made, but i expressed.. good feelings here. This is how i write. I typed all of that in about 15 minutes with no idea where it was gonna go. Part of the process now would be to go back, organize, edit, ect. To *TRY* to make it a little more comprehensible, as with all writing. Believe it or not i have gotten better at editing my own work. But the true nature of it all is still the same. And its the same in the way that i dont want, no matter how much i improve at my craft, i dont want to lose that enthusiasm i feel when i reach 58. I think that would be such a triumph, id be so lucky to be able to muster that energy. When I think of togashi, i think he has that. He has that real artistic spark that no amount of time/experience has ever diminished and that’s why i think he’s truly my personal favorite mangaka.  (maybe tezuka too)

[starfayy]

Writeblr Intro (cuz i forgot about this)

AYUP everyone my name's Fleur, i'm a 19 years old woman, im cishet and painfully neurodivergent (AuDHD and MADD). Im also brazilian and christian so there's that! (Trilingual beast coming at ya!)

I've been a writer since who knows when, started to write fanfiction in the worst fandom i could've started (...the beatles), went to an amazing fandom -that turned out to not be that amazing but my writing and storytelling evolved exponentially so im grateful- to now being more focused in original works

I'm currently writing a book with my friend (@serenity-of-waffles)*, and i might probably work in scripts for comics, animations and maybe games????? Let's see-

yeah im an artist too hehehe

Genres i enjoy reading/writing: Fantasy, Scifi, Romance, Thriller/Suspense, Horror, Slice of Life, Supernatural

Here comes the lists of things i like to see in a book and that i tend to write it in my own stuff:

FOUND FAMILY!

A good well written romance sometimes doesn't kill ^.^ (im a cliché beast, careful)

Tragic Backstory? Sign me in

NEURODIVERSITY

Supernatural ocurrences and creatures. Analog Horror, Psychological Horror as well

Super heroes? Yes

Mythological metaphores

I write for both Youth and Adult (im a sucker for children's books they can get so dark suddenly and is amazing)

Mystery elements yesyesyes a good suspense

Deep relationships

Consequences. I love consequences.

Historical plots and period inspired fiction

Super powers, creatures, magic, a whole well made worldbuilding (Tolkien wannabe)

SOOOO what am i looking for??

FRIENDS! People to rant about my silly stories and worlds!

More writers to follow and engage and and- ykwim

Current WIPS? hmmmmm

• Eden Fables: The Inkweaver's Diary - (*NOT WRITING ALONE) So this one i won't give much detail, just know that me and my friends we're going absolutely insane over this book and the entire possible series and is our child, you're not fucking ready. The best fantasy book i ever written in my life TRUST ME. Blame Tolkien and C.S Lewis for inspiring us so much- (sorry for the vague synopsis muahahahah) A story of a boy displaced in time and space as he finds his heart and returns to his throne, finding a family along the way while dealing with the craziest adventures.

• Boreal City (future comic :O) - A retrofuturistic cyberpunk super-hero universe about many different points ot view and adventures that are actually connected (like the Marvel Comics universe or DC comics). Its being one of my favorites so far im having so much fun doing it hehe

Its very inspired by many superhero and retro-cyberpunk media, i cant count here how many hehe Synopsis (for at least one of the stories): From a family of superheroes, turned into a villain by his own demise, and disappearing for 5 years, GlitchWave makes his stupendous comeback in an unexpected redemption arc, and it all starts when he meets his brother again.....

• Gritia's Great Mystery - An amazing story about a corrupt kingdom trying to hide all evidence that god exists, aside from other...cruel crimes against certain groups of people. The aesthetic is a mix of enlightnment era, renassaice and victorian age, all together mixed with elements of thriller, romance, mystery and BIG drama. Maybe one of my most serious stories, since i wont hold back in the critics n shit

The Crown Family of Gritia, for centuries, tries to make the existence of the Mighty King, aka god, a tabboo, or even erase him from all existence, alongside his followers. Anything that goes astray the status quo is suscetible of punishment (or worse....)

That makes Spencer's life a bit complicated, even if he doesnt know abt the Mighty King's existence, he's part of a secret society...lets see where this goes right?

OOF DAMMT I SPOKE A LOT HUH SORRY IM A TALKER! Hope to find more writer friends along the way ^.^

[lexydakitten]

oh im thriving rn. also heres the sluppy her ref is shoddy idc its better than most of my characters get😤promoted from "every white slup i encounter is my assistant" to oc. with lore now even. i GOTTA infodump about that. also a general cw for the read more, mostly just mentions of death/illness. and its long i mean it im good at infodumping and not at proofreading my infodumps👍

will start with what she can do. she's teeny tiny even as an adult, barely larger than a slugpup, but significantly smarter than wild slugcats. because she is a purposed organism created by my oc aloft under stars / aus for my other oc infinite whispers / iw (atp im probably not renaming her tbh) to help her do research when vermin gets too old. there's more context on that, not the most relevant for right now though.

anyway. she can climb walls, can't stand still on them because her grip isn't good enough but otherwise she a climber. additionally she's very capable on her own, even as a slugpup she's as strong as an average slugcat. at least until she's incapacitated because she's still small enough that she gets injured way worse. her stomach, or whatever organ slugcats store items in, can hold a greater capacity for nonedible things - she was engineered with carrying capacity in mind, and the more she can bring back, the better! plus, she's crafty, and can make her own tools from materials she finds outside (like a spear or lantern). she was also engineered with the ability to hear broadcast signals like spearmaster can. her harness thing that does not look like a harness bc i did not know wtf i was trying to do allows her to receive signals targeted at her on the move, though it's up to her if she actually cares. it has a small badge of aus's head print on it so that if she strays off on a mission or something and ends up too far it's evident where she came from. the harness is also useful to her as an adult because she can jam spears under it and carry them on her back, something unintended as the harness was mostly for communication and to be able to transport stuff for her creators without her losing it.

that's what she can do though. she has a silly little story i think. my friends said that she gets the Cool approval so it's worth sharing imo

her creation was to replace vermin when they became older and weaker. vermin is effectively a wild slugcat that chose to stick around aus and iw and help them, that relates more to their stories than assistant's tho. she and verm are friends for the rest of their lifespan, the introduction to each other was unintentional but she is little baby and they are old and crusty i think they'd make great friends. as a younger pup she does small missions just to build up her capability and then as an older one she does more full scale things, heading even out of the shared facility grounds or to other iterator facility grounds to complete tasks for iw. she's got a very independent mind though, and sometimes a desire to wander gets the best of her, leading her to stray off course. so on one further out mission as a young adult slugcat she ends up on the grounds of my other iterator oc one step ahead / osa, same guy i was talking abt in the rot post. at that point it's in his structure and he's very sick and isolated, prone to outbursts from his constant fear and rage. it significantly impairs his senses and his awareness.

as a very small slugcat, assistant actually can make her way through his rot infested grounds, and investigates his dying structure. despite instruction to turn back and go home, she finds him in his chamber, and observes the state he's in, and how he's completely alone. having been raised by iterators, she can see clearly that he is unwell and in need of support (that she can't provide, being a slugcat.) she's seen a healthy iterator, and an iterator in debatable health, but never one that was actively ill and dying like osa. and so she defects from her assignment to stay with him. there isn't really anything she can do except provide comfort for him, and simply be there, though i think she'd still get it into her animal brain that she could possibly do something anyway and she's determined to try. it definitely benefits and soothes osa, because he'd been in his situation for a long time, and even though the rest of his group collectively failed to ever try to help him when they still could, this small creature wants to try to help him at his most hopeless point, and he recognizes it to belong to one of his groupmates (because of the badge). that's not very significant, i think it's a small note to acknowledge because of some background between osa and aus that is not relevant to the assistant.

on occasion he does still lash out at her, even though it is entirely unfair for him to be mad at a small animal it relates more to the effect his rot has on him. and she keeps coming back anyway, being incredibly persistent about being an assistant to him rather than her creators. even though he cannot be helped and she lacks the ability to help. just the cat distribution system tbh. maybe she stays out while he's inconsolable and wanders the structure. speaking of, there is an echoed version of her. it is in fact relevant. because of osa's decaying structure, he is gradually falling apart, and eventually suffers from a void fluid pipe rupture (i think thats pretty much just a dp thing but i Dont care. im acknowledging it and im saying i dont care :p) that leads to at least one room becoming flooded with void fluid. she gets caught in there, drowns, and because i dont remember what's been indicated about void fluid nor can i be bothered to check if this is a wrong statement to make, echoes. it's less that she echoes due to being too attached to karmic urges or ego, but because she was so determined to do something impossible and so severely unfulfilled she could not simply ascend or die. and as an echo, it's mostly just rerunning her entire life over and over, trying to do new things and go to new places but always meeting that same end if any at all because she is trying to attain something she cannot fulfill

thats all i have to say abt this particular goober rn. if its noticeable that her story doesnt have a lot of depth its because it was effectively a shower thought. that parts in the rough stages i'll think about her more and it may get more improved on than just this. ya. slugat !! i'll draw her some more eventually, once i finish the other things i'm working on

[3416]

what 1634 fics do you want to see. im not gonna write them im just curious

hello anon......... there are far too many i want to see in this world (literally any at all tbh) but conceptually i have rambled in private about a couple that i really want so buckle up... here are some cliche concepts but idc:

okay my ultimate dream fic is like a 50k fic canon compliant to this point like a decade into the future where auston's been forced to retire a few years earlier bc of a career ending knee injury and never wins the cup and basically. retreats back to az and has to cope with that and gets a Lot of distance from the team/hockey media yada yada. mitch keeps playing hockey but the leafs never win the cup and mitch never feels as fulfilled as he thinks he should be. he never has kids (could go into things here....)... separates w steph.... is on the verge of retiring himself...... the catalyst for him showing up in arizona could be a lot of random things (abt to sign divorce papers... announcing his own retirement soon... also had a whole concept of one of their dads passing away but.) but cue the reunion with someone who you built your whole younger self and younger dreams around and having to relearn the person they've become now. mitch escaping the only place he's ever really called home to really try to feel fully comfortable with himself for the first time vs auston seeing the merging of his old life and his new reality................. i mean. that's the dream. idk. post hockey life crisis with people you can't help but love forever tbh. i have rambled about variations of this one for hours before.

i'm also dying for an auston pornstar fic with a clueless like. business bro mitch or smth. everyone has done the cam boy mitch stuff thanks to his streaming but what about auston... what about these pictures... it's giving casting couch....... i don't really care about the plot necessarily... could go w mitch and auston sleeping together n then befriending each other but NOT sleeping together again for a while. could just straight up do pwp, idk, but auston's whole sleaze ball vibe sometimes.. and the mustache..... we deserve pornstar auston.

also desperate for some magical realism au where one of them makes a deal with the devil to get the team a stanley cup but it goes HORRIBLY awry bc things are never what they seem when you're making deals like that. don't have the details ironed out enough in my head to give a real plan here without sounding stupid but i want the angst and pain and realizing their priorities might not be The Ultimate Hockey Goal like they've always thought.

i've also thought about a lot about a more pwp fic where mitch and auston have this calculated shared ritual of like. getting the new guys on the team/new lineys off to ~help the chemistry~. the whole oh it's just bros thing, but mitch and auston tackling it as a team, one whispering in the ear.. one sinking to his knees... a biiit skeezy bc some of these guys would never in a million years wanna sleep with guys but they pose it like it's gonna help the team and it's just smth they do... don't you wanna feel powerful and see cocky number one goal scorer in the league am34 on his knees for you, random newcomer (haha) 4th liner???

also. thought about another magical realism fic where auston and mitch are at mitch's lakehouse high as fuck and accidentally have a wishbaby bc they're TRYING to manifest success for the team and wish on a star with the wrong wording.... also had a batshit au planned vaguely based on the hangover for mitch's bachelor party which COULD involve vgk crossover since i would set it in vegas for the vibes but.

also had an f1 fic idea where mitch was a driver and auston was one his mechanics. there was way more to this one, but realistically i'd take anything with that as a concept. mitch's life being in auston's hands to some degree and auston taking it Very seriously. also mitch treating his wins like its this shared thing and. auston is just one of tens of people who work on his car but thats his fucking GUY!! imagining mitch getting on the podium n trying to jump at the barriers to get to auston and his whole team.......... pls. also had bunts as one of the guys who changes the wheels and picturing the team letting bunts run the some of the socials. they would be fucking off in that garage BIG TIME filming themselves doing stupid silly shit in all the downtime. also. thinking abt the element of having a Secret relationship or situationship in a setting SO public like f1...... could prob turn that one into a multimedia au somehow, ANYWYA---

i've thought abt so many more too lol. this is what i let myself sit here and spew for the hour but. i'm always down to talk about more or if other ppl have ideas and need to flesh them out. i love to yap abt these men.

[quirkle2]

Tac's mom?!?!!!?

TAC'S MOM ....i don't have a name for her just yet but she is so nice and so cool

as a little kid, before he rly caught onto the fact that it was Weird, tac would occasionally mention his death date in vague ways. it was natural to him, and until he got older, he didn't rly realize that this wasn't common knowledge. when he mentioned the end of the world in such a serious manner, it would make people look at him oddly, or they would never take him seriously. over time, from context, he got the memo; death date talk = tension and weird looks

he stopped mentioning it altogether somewhere around middle school, but his mom never forgot about it. when he was Rly young, it wasn't much to be concerned about—kids say some weird stuff, even if his obsession with The End seemed a little dark. but then he kept saying it. and with the way he talked about it, he seemed fully and utterly convinced of the end of time.

he was still mentioning it in passing when he got into middle school, and that kinda talk is a little more alarming coming from a 10 year old than it is coming from a 4 four old, somehow. 4 year olds will say anything, and when he was 4, he didn't really grasp the Weight of the Knowledge yet

his mom thinks this is . concerning, to say the least. having ur kid mention something like this in such a convinced, serious tone, SO consistently for years,,, it's unsettling. things like, "i dont need good grades mom im not even gonna live long enough to finish college," and, "you're never gonna get to pay off this house... that's kinda depressing."

she remembers the date he's mentioned a few times. october 18th. she doesn't know where he got this info, that he'd die some day in october. where did that even come from? and she wouldn't put so much stock into it if it weren't for his behavior Never changing

he was already kind of uncaring about consequences even at a pretty young age—he didn't apply himself in school, even though she Knew he was a smart kid. he got into a lot of fights and made the wrong people mad at the wrong times, and the only time he ever seemed to care was when it made his mom upset. she's rly the only thing stopping him from doing more drastic things that would get him into more trouble, even when he's older and he knows better

even when he stops mentioning the death date, he never changes that behavior, and it scares her. he never Starts caring; if anything, he cares less and less about his future the older he gets. he seems so convinced...

his downward spirals start showing themselves around middle school as well, and at some point she starts seeking professional help for him.bc this is not normal. outwardly, it looks a Lot like depression (and it is<3) and it takes some convincing, but tac finally agrees to be put on pills, if only to make his mom feel better abt it. they help a little. key word here being A Little. she tries to get him therapy too, but he's stubborn about it

she's very supportive of him, and mostly just worried out of her mind. she doesn't Get It and every time she tries to ask, tac either shuts her down or shuts down himself. maybe she doesn't need to Get It to help him tho. maybe she just has to be there for him

tac loves his mother dearly tho dude he loves and respects her so much. his least favorite thing in the world is stressing or worrying her, so he tries his best to appear like everything's fine, for her sake. he doesn't want her limited time on this planet to be spent pacing the living room about it all. he wants her to just live her life without worrying abt him

[cleromancy]

one thing i love about ALPoD is like. the whole flashback Janet & jack are like talking about tim and not to him:

(under a cut ooga booga)

you can't always judge how old a character is supposed to be by how they're drawn (and this is dick and tim we're talking about, they don't age at the same rate), but considering that tim does remember this there's no way tims intended to be too young to communicate with... and his parents are not shown to do that. at all. even as janet actively is talking about how shed worried about tim, it doesn't occur to either her or jack to ask tim if hes enjoying the circus, or if he'd like to say hi to or take a picture with the performers.

which wouldn't be striking on its own, even when directly followed by dick as the first person to talk directly to tim in this flashback:

the contrast was i think what made me notice it, and especially since its followed by theeeee following:

and y'know to move the plot along dick has to urge him to keep going, tell the whole story. and i mean. its also *preceded* by tim doing something he used to do kind of a lot, which was if he had to talk to someone older about a concern or his feelings or stuff along those lines he'd say something about not wanting to bug them not wanting to cause trouble maybe its nothing... that sort of statement yk. anyway when tim picks up his story thread its with this:

and i think its interesting that we see jack and janet discussing whether tim is old enough to go to the circus without getting scared (and i do think its interesting the comment jack made up there abt boys vs girls like. this is absolutely a man who had some shit to say about how no son of his is gonna be a sissy... be careful what you wish for man, your sons gonna grow up to roam the streets brawling with people twice his size.) (And hes going to be a sissy while he does it.) (in a grand robin tradition.) (im_just_a_sissy_jasonrobin.jpg)

where was i going with....

OH RIGHT LOL i just think its neat that we had them talking about tims emotional wellbeing re whether hes old enough for the circus without ever actually talking to tim about it AND THEN WHEN TIM WITNESSES A LEGITIMATELY TRAUMATIZING EVENT... like. nothing, lmao. like the contrast there!!

(SIDE NOTE: timothy if your parents "made a copy" to send to dick why did you STEAL HIS COPY. OF A PICTURE YOU ALLEGEDLY OWN. I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU. WHY ARE YOU LYING. like there are a lot of possibilities but theyre all conjecture and FRANKLY im already teetering on ridiculous in how deeply im reading into a very short piece of this story lol)

and tim is like. bitter about his parents already as of his intro storyline. hes not like overtly complaining about them or anything but the disparaging comment about how they're always travelling and normally stick him in boarding schools... also like. to be honest i don't think his parents were like "yeah its totally fine for our 13 year old to spend the vacation week by himself," i think tim simply did not tell them when spring break was this year, whoops :) must have slipped his mind. its entirely possible its slipped his mind multiple years in a row

and you know what ELSE i like

the babys first instinct in that situation. was to try and *save dick from batman.* much to FUCKING think about

............ok thats kind of offtopic from my original point which was. I Think Tim Was Mostly Nonverbal Until He Was Like Six. Thanks For Listening :)