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#im an overthinker thats the only reason it took so long
raethethey · 8 months
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i feel like my friends are ghosting me..
#my partner and i stopped dating so theyre my ex now#but it was mutual and we talked and we're still good friends#it was literally so logical too like im asexual theyre very much not#im very romantic they think theyre aro or at least demiro#we we're on opposite sides of the spectrum#and they just couldn't develop long lasting romantic feelings for me and i was okay that#still am#just bc you dont love romantically doesnt mean you cant love#but they just liked me as a friend and i respect that#plus i myself was debating the continuation of the relationship due to this a month before they brought it up#im an overthinker thats the only reason it took so long#main point: they were kimda my link to this certain group#of really great ppl! i love them a lot#and they talk to me and think of me#but i never get invited to hang outs#i see texts in the group chat that say “cant make it have fun tonight”#and i have no idea what theyre talking abt#i feel ghosted#and i really hope its not bc me and this person stopped dating#bc ive made sure they all know it was mutual and we are still friends#its literally just the same but no kissing or holding hands anymore#like nothing really changed yk?#i get theyre closer that's not an issue#but im friends with them too#a larger friend group hangout and i dont even hear of it#im not trying to say i should be privy to all plans no#im just saying as a friend i feel left out#longevity of friendships shouldn't matter in that kind of situation#right?#am i just being a pissy boy?
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rockybloo · 9 months
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Hi, feel free to ignore this ask, or point me wearily to the FAQ if i missed it, but can I asked what inspired the world of Lore? Specifically the holistic nature of it, where different tales live side by side. I am a…hopeful, one-day fairy and folk tale scholar, and in my studies I’ve seen this concept pop up in a lot of more modern retellings/reimaginings, and one of my projects has been to see if i could find a source. When i say inspiration/source, I don’t mean singular piece(s) of media that gave you the idea (if you have one id love to know it though!) i more mean sorta your own internal source, the emotional trigger that led you to grouping separate fairy tales into one larger world. I know theres a lot to be said for the simple concept of “because it fucks, thats why” (some of my favorite interpretations of tales spawn from similar concepts) but if you have the time or energy, id love it if you’d be willing to ponder deeper motivations.
Sorry for the long ask, im absolutely obsessed with your characters and the worlds you create by taking archetypical settings and twisting them into something new and intriguing. Thank you for sharing your art (in all senses of the word) with us!
Thank you! And I very much love overthinking fairy tales and their existence SO I SHALL DO EXACTLY THAT!
For me, the reason I just plopped down every fairy tale into the same world, aside from a simple "Because everyone else does it and it's my favorite type of fantasy world" is because it makes so much sense to me.
There's a ton of repeated themes and characters in fairy tales to the point they have a classification system to make folklorist's lives easier when categorizing them. There are so many different Cinderellas, and I don't mean just the European one, as it's a fable that has been found all around the world. There are very much big differences in each story but the literal age old tale is still noticeable.
I took a mythology and fairy tale class in high school where we talked about "The Hero's Journey" which is like a template nearly every story falls into regardless of where a story is from. And for me, it was wild seeing just how many shared tropes humanity has as a whole in our storytelling.
A character that pops multiple times, aside from Prince Charming, is the Big Bad Wolf. OF COURSE it's because wolves were (and still are somewhat) dangerous animals and so that is how they are characterized in fables such as Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs. But it's still noticeable that these stories overlap with each other so fitting them into a single world just makes a lot of sense.
Another gigantic reason is that we all live in reality. There's a general understanding of what can and cannot occur on Earth. We know we can't fly without some machine to aid us or talk to animals and have them speak our language back to us. And many mythical beings can potentially be traced back to specific interactions early humans had with rare instances in nature and a need to have a reason "why?".
In fairy tales, reality is fantastical. Numerous tales have talking animals, super natural beings, shapeshifting, characters defying death and recovering from "should have been" fatal injuries, and being able to live happily ever after with never ending love.
We humans don't really get that. Especially that last part with happy endings and love. Sure, we can live a peaceful life or try to but there's this level of joy in some tales that only exists in fairy tales. And love so so much more complicated than the typical "love at first sight that lasts forever without problems".
With all these elements that land fairy tales in a different realm of reality than us, I thought it made sense to actually make a realm (or rather a planet) that explains why things in the world of fairy tales are so much more different than us and even somewhat explain why our reality doesn't have magic in it.
It basically traces back to that age old human urge to explain the unexplainable with some story.
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beauleifu · 2 years
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I love that were all talking about heartstrings cause it deserves deserves nothing less from love and support KAJAJA♡♡♡.
YOUR WRITING STYLE -
Is what makes your story so well and keeps me engaged and how you display certain scenes- IDK IT GUVES ME A RUSH OF SEROTONIN AND I AGREE WITH THE OWL ANON.
Everyday little things- invested in the story - makes me connect my everyday little things to remembering a certain detail I've read over and over again- it blows my mind how well your writing stained my brain, best writing pieces I've read.
HOW YOU WRITE CHARACTER.
Honestly props to Y/N they're SUCH A LEGEND - they're such a great character thats more than meets the eye. AND EVERYTIME THERES SUTILE LITTLE HINTS OR LORE DROP IM LIKE NAHH- don't tell me they did that- and I can't wait for the big reveal. Every other characters always in for funsies and them serving some purpose and not an empty introduction too I SEE WHAYS UP🤨✨(or maybe I'm just over overthinking everything- who knows)
Btw- I love Nuwa and Bolin- ur characters seem so realistic that you've brought them to life- (how long have you been writing??)
Syntax as a character- with only 5 minutes of screen time displayed about him. You took that shit and said- bet 🤨 AND PORTRAYED HIM WITH MORE EMOTION AND WITH REASONS TO BAVK IT UP HIS BEHAVIOR. I SOMETIMES QUESTION WITH Y/N THEORIES. THE LORE- ty ty for doing gods work 😤🙏🙏 basically Canon cause I say so 👀
ANITHER CHARACTER! THE MAYOR ಥvಥ - HES FUCKING SCARY BRO - even I was holding my breath while reading the tension suddenly pushed on us readers. AHH- THAT character given 5 mins of screen time but holds a stronger impression on LMK watchers with details seen in him. Executed his behavior and now leaving me anxious.
I honestly can't wait how the other Spider Demons will be portrayed too and seeing crumbs- y/n in for a treat 😭😭 I also wonder if they managed to find y/n place easier because the magic vase protects them but also welcomes them with this energy...
ANYWAYS
I think I wrote too much but I just wanted to to get these thoughts out cause I'm such a sucker for how well you've paced this story and attention to small details that I've connected LOLL- my reaction = Syntax realizing why so many candles. I'm scared that im over analyzing BUT YEAH HAHA
WHO ARE YOU
GRABIBNG
SHAKING
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OH MY GOD. OKAY. THANK TOU. HHHFHFF
LiStEn. I've been writing for a good 2-3 years and honestly what keeps me actually WRITING this shit are things like this, its the littel things and i love that you guys notice that in the fic BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOUD NOTICE SO MUCH???? I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO EXPRESS MY GRAITTUDE FOR THIS BUT I CANT PUT IT INTO WORDS SO
SO UH
HUGS N CHOCOLATE N THE NEXT CHAPTER COMING OUT TONIGHT <33333333
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stfulia · 1 month
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Hi chat
Hi, wtf tho?.
I met this friend (P) last year and i quickly started to trust him, which is weird cause of my trust issues. The reason i felt so confy was because he did NOT know the people i was talking about. (pd: i dont talk shit about them, just overthink about the way i feel about them). So basically the first thing i talked about when i started being friends with him was that friends becoming friends with my friends lowkey made me feel bad, cause many times before, had happened to me that they become BETTER friends between each other and i was left out. He said he agreed and that he feels the same. I dont really care about them just being friends, i just dont want them to "replace" me or make me feel left out by my OWN friends. (ig thats understandable)
So i have this other online friend (OF-online friend cause why not) who i know for like 4 years now. I appreciate a lot my online friends cause ive always trusted them in order to talk about feelings, i guess because i dont feel it THAT much real as it would feel if i vented irl. I like to gatekeep my onine friends because i have some bad trust issues thinking they could tell whatever im talking about to someone else. I know im a bit paranoid but i literally cant help it, i need that kind of TRUST in order to feel confortable around you.
Then, few months ago, i dont really know how, but OF sent a friend request on instagram AND bereal to P, cause when i really love my friends, i talk about them with others and they knew each other because of that. Firstly i asked P to not accept it, cause he KNEW that annoyed me a bit. Well, he did, and also said "yeah but i dont talk with her" and i was like "okay, youre right". Then they started to react to each others bereals and they NEVER react to mine, which made me feel a bit weird ngl. But then ONE DAY i just know they started talking by photos via instagram. And they talked about their personal stuff, THINGS THAT THEY DONT TALK WITH ME, LIKE???.
Okay, so when they started talking i acted like i didnt care, cause i decided to trust them and i liked them to get along very well. But one day, OF asked me if P was flirting with her, which was like 💀💀💀. Ofc i asked him (p) and he said he was just joking and that she wasnt even his type, which i actually do believe. But since OF saw that i was lowkey jealous of them being that """flirty""" she jokes about having a crush on him and dating him or sexual stuff that i dont even want to talk about. Ofc i took everything as a joke, cause it was JUST a joke, right?.
Time passed and when i met with P irl, cause we often do, he is constantly taking pictures about everything to reply to OF. And i admit that it makes me jealous, he is very friendly with me, he is VERY affectionate* and i lowkey just wanna fell special ig. I guess im just overreacting but i cant help but feeling this way. So, the thing is, lately, he has been acting distant with me. Yes ofc he has more things to do than me, but yk, i always start the conversation, and it feels like whenever i text him, he is just distracted, i doesnt feel like him anymore. YES, THERES THE CHANCE HES BEEN FEELING BAD FOR ANY REASON BUT IF HE DOESNT EVEN TELL ME, HOW CAN I KNOW???.
*P is just like a best friend to me. I am very very closed to people, i struggle receiving any type of affection, but with him, for some reason, i like to receive hugs, very long hugs. A long hug while watching a movie, if you get me.
So this afternoon, P texted me first (i was even excited) and asked me to play roblox this night. And i was genuinely HAPPY cause i just wanted to spend time with him. Then OF texts me saying that we were gonna play roblox but with her (OF) and another loved online friend of mine(OF2). So what i could only think about was that he has been dry to me while he was planning playing roblox with them💀. YES, I KNOW they ALL invited me, but the starting point was NOT TALKING TO MY ONLINE FRIENDS, and i have tolerated TOO MUCH with OF, i cant tolerate it nomore with OF2. SO, i told P that i dont really feel like it because i dont like them being friends with each other. AND THEN P TOLD OF THAT HE COULDNT PLAY CAUSE OF ME. AND THAT MADE ME SO MAD. CAUSE WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TELL HER THAT?? IT WASNT NECESSARY. I know its the truth, but sometimes, truth just needs to sit in silence between those who know it.
AND, what did you do? Call me inmature, call me jealous, call me toxic, call me avoidant, IDC. I just need to push away them, push away EVERYONE, so i lowkey ghosted them. I TOLD THEM THAT I NEEDED SPACE AND TIME TO PROCESS WHATEVER IM FEELING AND I MADE MYSELF CLEAR THAT THEY CAN BE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER IF THEY WANT TO, JUST KNOW I WONT LIKE IT. But i feel like they didnt get it cause their response is rude and mean. I mean, i dont expect them to talk to me like a princess, but who is annoyed here is I, me, myself, not you wtf?.
SO YEAH, THATS PRETTY MUCH WHAT HAPPENED AND WHAT I THINK OF. I just wanted to vent cause now i lowkey cant (my closest friends are them and now i cant tell anyone my feelings), and if you have something to say ill ofc be super happy to read it.
SORRY IF THERE WAS A MISTAKE OR SMTH, ENGLISH IS NOT MY FRIST LANGUAGE, and sorry for the HUGE text.
Thanks chat.
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octopoet · 2 months
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Scattered Thoughts and Unanswered Questions
(not a poem, sorry)
empty isn't really a good word for it. i don't really know how to word this so im just going to write it as the thoughts flow.
i read once that people call it a creative spark because when you sit still and don't use it, it smolders and burns, filling ones body with smoke until they choke and suffocate. honestly, i agree. This summer has been interesting.
i purposely planned to have an empty schedule so that i had time to really pick apart how i worked and how to live my life before plunging into this new and unforgiving chapter of living i have before me. the reason being that so far I've been so choked up with obligations that i haven't even had a chance to sit down and ask myself why im doing it all.
or at least really think about it. to the degree of overthinking that is my usual standard.
i guess thats what this is.
a running commentary of overthinking. Ive found that putting the words before me is a nessecary tactic. A defense against the fluid and frantic nature of unrestricted thought. now that i have this time to myself however, i’ve put it to doing what i never had time to. Reading, making, spending time with the family.
the things i told myself would make me feel better, back when i had no time to do them at all. well the joke’s on me. They didn't make me feel better. sure the stress levels are down, and i can afford to spend four hours reading instead of working myself to death. (Hyperbole) but somehow i feel even less fulfilled than when i was running around doing things someone else told me to do.
i guess what im trying to say is, doing things other people told me to do always felt like a chore, but now that i have the time to do whatever I want, it doesn't feel any better.
it feels like im floundering, wasting this precious resource called “free time” that i had so little of not so long ago.
I feel like i HAVE to be making something of it, and im not.
i feel like i HAVE to be making something. And here we go back to that creative spark again. the catch is that making things exhausts me. Using that creative energy i feel like i absolutely have to use leaves me too tired to fulfill my other needed obligations. i took time this summer intentionally to find other things to do that refreshed me rather than drained me like creating does. However, the low-effort things that refresh me like reading or listening to music leave me feeling unfulfilled, and guilty as if that time was poorly spent, and should have been used for better things, and that guilt kind of defeats the whole purpose of resting and refreshing in the first place. It’s not really working out. work exhausts me, creativity exhausts me, but taking time to regain my energy fills me with guilt. I suppose part of me believes that i can only rest when i’m dead.
but ill come back to the topic of tasks that others have assigned me, since that whole “relaxation” thing isn't working out. i cant shake the feeling that its a distraction. That tasks designed by others are merely an obstacle on the road to true fulfillment. A restriction preventing me from attaining freedom. Well freedom isn't working out for me either. At least i felt like I was getting stuff done when i had work to do.
I cant shake the feeling that these tasks are something “surface level”, that they’re not what this whole “life” gig is about. Having a job, driving a car, meeting these people, completing this assignment, it doesn't feel like this is what im playing the game for. Excuse my terminology but it feels like “side quests” on the road to some main and overarching purpose that i just haven't figured out yet.
so what really is my core? If these things are just my surface what lies beneath? What really is life about if all this stuff is just auxiliary.
It feels like everything i have been and done so far is a shell on the surface of the real me.
If I am the sum of my experiences then how many of those experiences define the real me?
how many of those experiences were “real”?
what parts of me are “real?”
Sometimes it feels as if i have been a different person in every moment of my life.
differing circumstances and differing expectations call for differing versions of me. I know the analogy of a mask is what is popular and in truth, has been my main analogy to describe my differing senses of self thus far.
which me is the real me? Which mask is my real face?
i fear that the answer is not so simple, and that the real me is comprised of a fragment of all my parts, of a handful of all my experiences. That my real face is made from one tiny piece of each of my hundreds of masks, and that what im trying to figure out is what piece of those masks is a part of my real face.
this is an extremely strange analogy, and i apologize.
but if i figure out what experiences have truly contributed to my sense of self thus far then surely i can determine my purpose from that? Surely the “real” experiences that contributed to my “real” personality are what i should be doing for the rest of my life.
but as im writing this i know that thats not the case. I know that this attempt at discerning my life is futile, and that no matter how much i analyze my past, i will not be able to predict the future.
One of the many points i think im trying to make in this haphazard mental minefield of a post is that this is a question that a single summer cannot answer, and i do not think even a decade worth of summers will answer. I’m asking myself: “Who am I?”, “What is my purpose?”, and so on… The very question, “what really is life?” Has been asked and remained unanswered, at least completely, since the dawn of rational thought. It seems as if these are questions to which the answers cannot be taught, or even logically discerned but must be individually and personally discovered through years of experience and living. and yet it feels like a catch 22, as if i cannot properly live until these questions are answered, but they cannot be answered until i have properly lived. i suppose i must wait and see. My mind is not the right place to look for the answers.
i will just have to wait and see.
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I want it all Calum Hood x Reader
Summary: reader gives him space while he is on tour and Calum starts to worry.
A/N: alright so I got this from the kissing booth 2, so yeah lol. I usually know what to type in here but I somehow lost how to do it. anyway hope you enjoy and remember feedback is always allowed! love you all! also sorry if this is too short.
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Calum had been leaving for a tour and you just knew every inch of you was going to miss him, you had no idea how the distance would affect your relationship, but you knew that you would have to give him some sort of freedom when he was doing something that he was so passionate about. You trusted him with all your heart and knew he would be as loyal as you were back home.
As he was packing he had asked for your help, you didn't really know how to act, so you just stood quite, cal noticed the small change in your attitude, you were more quiet and this worried cal that tour might be a dealbreaker for you and change your mind but you were actually the complete opposite. You were very proud of him and the band and the support you had was all there, you were just going to miss him which was normal since he was going away, but you didn't want to be that clingy girlfriend.
Cal stopped with what he was doing and was the first to break the silence, “hey, you alright love?” he said as you looked up with a frown, “yeah im okay, why?” you asked as you placed his clothing in the suitcase and he took your hands in his, “i just, uh you seem kinda distant since i told you i was going away for tour,” he said as you sighed, “sorry i didn't mean it to seem like that, i'm just gonna miss you is all cal, i’ve honestly never really experienced this ever, sorry-” you said as he cut you off softly, “no- it's okay, sorry i forget that sometimes, i'm gonna miss you too, so much, you are it for me you know that, i'll come back to you. I promise.” he said as he placed you on his lap as you smiled and pushed his hair out of his face, “i know you will bubs, and i will be here waiting for you, you're the only one for me.” you said as he smiled and took you in a hug wanting to be close to you, close to the point where he could feel your heartbeat.
Ever since he left, your days would go on much slower than usual, you had duke with you since cal wanted you to have some company and you were okay to watch him as well so he could work without worrying. Him leaving for tour wasn't the first time, but you still needed to get used to it. It was normal to have the need to want to see him but you didn't want to bother him while he was one tour. Of course you messaged him about duke and let him know how he was doing, you didn't really talk about yourself or about him. There was some constant communication within one another but it was small and cal wanted more. He didn't know how to ask, but he wanted more than the small texts you were answering. He had even talked to the guys about it wanting some advice. He was worried you were going to break up with him because of the distance.
“I don't know how to ask her i want more, i feel like i established what we are when i left,” he said as ashton nodded, “did you two talk before you left?” he asked as cal shook his head, “no we didn't, things were fine the way i left, we are fine now, but i'm just worried something is gonna happen..” he said as luke and michael were both in on this conversation, “like what?” michael asked as cal sighed, “what if she's breaking up with me, thats why shes not talking to me” he said as luke shook his head, “maybe she's giving you space like, having you worry less about what she may be going through,” ashton said as luke elaborated, “yeah she might think that traveling and going on tour is enough on your plate, she doesn't want to be a bothersome or clingy. Not saying she is, but this is probably what she feels or thinks.” he said as michael nodded, “yeah i agree with that, you two just need to talk and you need to reassure her and tell her what you want and what you are.” he said as calum nodded knowing that he would call you after the show.
“What if she doesn't want to, what if she doesn't answer” he said as ashton spoke, “well text her before hand, tell you her you want to talk before she goes to sleep.” he said as michael nodded, “ask her about her day and stuff,” he said as luke nodded, “yeah and then bring in the conversation,” luke said as cal nodded.
After their show he had called you but there was no answer, nothing from you not even a text back. You on the other hand had seen the phone ring but of course thought the absolute worst and didn't answer the call. The messages, yeah you saw them, again you didn't respond. It was around 12 at night and you were starting to feel guilty about not answering and you texted him first reading the text.
Hey dovey, just wanted to let you know I'm calling you after my show, so hopefully you will answer. @9:00
I forgot the time zones were different, so it's fine. I'll try to call you when you're either free or not sleeping. Love you. @10:34
Hey, it's fine no worries, talk to you soon love you and take care. @12:01
Honestly what could you say. You didn't know what to say at all. You didn't want him worrying about you. He had his tour and that's what you wanted him to focus on. His tour. That's it. He could worry about you when he got back. Your mind would keep telling you to leave him be and to not be clingy so you listened to the small voice, but you didn't know how much it was affecting Cal that you weren't talking to him.
It Sounds so weird to say, but I mean you didn't want to be that clingy girlfriend who just always talked to her boyfriend 24/7. You didn't want to ruin his tour experiences by you always being there. Which was one of the reason why you didn't go on tour when he had asked you if you could come. To be frank you had saved sick days, but you didn't want to bother him, you didn't want him and his friends to feel weird with you being there, even if all their girlfriends were going.
You were at work just finishing up some emails as normal as you saw your phone light up with calum’s name on your screen.
Hey dovey, whats up?
You looked at the screen and just went straight back to your computer not wanting to answer fast and making you seem like you had missed him a lot, again your overthinking brain was doing the analyzing and not you. A couple minutes later it had vibrated again and you got into the chat but didn't type you just looked at the message.
You there?
You sighed and you were contemplating on what you should do, you thought just call him and talk to him, but a part of you was telling you to not call him since he could be busy.
Seconds later your boss came towards you as you frowned, “hey you have a phone call from your dad called, he said it's some family emergency and urgent” she said as you were quick to your feet wondering why your dad called you at work knowing that he had your phone number.
“The phones over there,” she said as you nodded and walked over to the office and picked up the phone, “hello?” you said as you heard his voice, “whats going on with you?” you heard cal say as your eyes went wide as you coughed, “what- what do you mean dad?” you said pretending to be shocked as you looked over at your boss as she looked at you with worry, “why aren't you texting me back.” he said as you tried to find an excuse to leave you alone to talk to cal.“oh-what? That's terrible horrible news about...Aunt...Pepper.” you said as your boss looked over at you, “is everything okay?” she asked as you looked at her with a sad look, “no, uh could i have a moment in private?” you asked as she nodded leaving you in the office alone as you were brought back to the situation, “why are you pretending to be my dad?” you asked as he sighed, “it was the only way i could think to get you on the phone” he said worried as you sighed, “oh that is not true” you said as he shook his head, “no it is true, you barely call and when you text, you send these weird two-word text messages, like you kno, “take care” and “talk soon.” he said as you sighed and he thought the worst wondering why this was happening, “are-are you breaking up with me?” he asked as you were quick to respond, “what no no no no! The opposite.” you said as he spoke back, “then what? Why? Why are you ignoring me dovey?” he asked as you exhaled, “cal, i..i don't know, well i'm trying to be mature and not come off as some clingy girlfriend,”  you said as he frowned, “y/n, i told you i wanted to make this work,” he said as you sighed opening up to him, “yeah i know but people always say that when they leave. I guess I'm just giving you space. you know for tour and stuff, i don't want to bother you with texts and facetime calls.” you said as he frowned, “space for what love? I don't want space, I want you. I want you all around me all the time. I want you right now with me” he said as you smiled at his words.
“Im sorry cal, i miss you a lot, i want you here with me too, i'm sorry i made you worry.” you said as he took a breath in, “don't be sorry dovey, i love you okay? i want you to check up on me with text and facetime calls. I want it all even if you're clingy, I don't care, I want it. You're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend aren't I dovey.” he said as you nodded as if he was there, “yeah you are.” you said as he smirked, “i'm your what?” he asked as you rolled your eyes, “you're my boyfriend.” you said very peachy as he chuckled.
“Now just text me alright, i don't care what it is as long as it something from you, it can even be a meme, but i want you to text me okay?” he said as you giggled, “okay i will,” you said with a smile as he spoke again, “i'm gonna call you after my show, i want to talk to you before you fall asleep.” he said as you blushed a little, “alright i'll be waiting bubs.” you said as you said your goodbyes and ended the call.
Despite your overthinking brain you were left reassured that this man was going to be in your life forever no matter what and the unconditional love will always be there. Cal knew this as well, probably since the first time he met you. You two were perfect for one another and there was nothing that could tell you two otherwise.
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tastyykpop · 4 years
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𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final
Pairings: jaemin x reader
Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)
<previous>
Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up
Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct
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It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.
Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.
It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.
"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."
Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.
Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.
"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.
"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"
The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.
"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.
Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.
Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.
But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.
"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.
"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."
You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.
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"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.
"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.
It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.
"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.
"But-"
"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."
"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.
"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"
You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.
You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."
It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.
"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.
Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."
"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."
The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."
His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.
"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.
"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.
"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.
You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.
"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.
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You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.
But that was only you overthinking.
Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?
These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.
It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.
"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.
You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."
"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."
That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.
"Im gonna skip."
Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"
You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"
"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.
"What are you getting at?"
The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."
You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.
"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."
"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.
You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.
Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.
Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.
"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.
"Whats stupid?"
Speak of the devil.
"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.
Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.
"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.
"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.
"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.
"Youre doing it again."
"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.
"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."
Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.
You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."
Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"
"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.
Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"
"I told you its nothing."
"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.
"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"
Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.
"I never even went that far with jeno."
"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"
The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.
"No i didnt."
"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."
Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.
"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.
Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.
"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.
Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.
"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."
Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."
Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.
You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.
"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."
"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.
Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.
You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.
Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.
Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.
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Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.
You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.
"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.
"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.
Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.
Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.
"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.
"No."
"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."
You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.
"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.
"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."
You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."
It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.
"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.
Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"
"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."
"My dick or my attention?"
"Both."
Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.
You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.
"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."
Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.
"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."
You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.
The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.
It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.
"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.
"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.
"I-i was n-not."
Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.
Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.
Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.
"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.
"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.
This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.
"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.
"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"
"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.
Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."
"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.
"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.
You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?
"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."
The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.
"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.
"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."
Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.
Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.
"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."
Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."
Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.
"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."
Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.
The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.
His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.
"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.
Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.
"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.
Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.
Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.
Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.
"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.
The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.
The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.
Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.
" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.
"Cum, princess."
The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.
Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..
You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.
"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"
You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."
"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"
You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."
"So is that a yes or no?"
"Of course its a yes!"
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It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.
"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.
You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."
"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.
"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"
"...nothing."
"Jaemin."
His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."
Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"
"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.
"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"
Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."
"Loved? Na jaemin-"
"Dont say it." He groaned.
"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.
"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"
"When did you become so shy?"
"Fair point."
Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.
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askaborderline · 2 years
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hello this is my first ask!
i had an fp (im still trying to get over btw) i feel like shes not being understanding at all? she knows i have bpd and one time i got angry at her bc she was being salty with me for no reasons and i said a few things that were sort of unnecessary but the way she is treating me after that is a little too much compared to what i told her? this happened a few months ago btw and shes still acting like shit with me just bc of that
at this point she's literally punishing me oml😭
she is diagnosed with something i won't be mentioning and was always understanding of her case but whenever i overthink and talk to her ab it she gets upset she doesnt take my feelings in consideration at all knowing that she knows quite a lot ab bpd and i told her ab her being my fp
after that we took a break from talking to each other and went back to talking again but i'm starting to realize how much the friendship is becoming toxic??? yesterday i saw something she said and it made me overthink a lot to the point where i split so i ask her ab it and guess what? she was salty... again! like you know i cant control my overthinking
anyways, it feels like shes being forced to talk to me and not because she actually enjoys talking to me.
i was thinking ab cutting her off bc this "friendship" is causing more damage than good and i seriously dont need anymore things. do you have any tips on how i can cut her off?
thanks in advance<33 have a good day/night and sorry if thats messy i cant put everything in it would be super long
Hi anon,
It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation and I can empathize with friends being toxic. I think cutting it off with her is a great idea, and that was going to be my advice, but it looks like you already know that it’s toxic and you want to get out of it, which is great! I’m happy that you can see that it’s a toxic relationship and you want to look out for your own mental health and cut her off.
There are a few ways you can go about cutting off someone who’s toxic. One way is to approach her and straight-up tell her how you’re feeling, if you think it would help her understand where you’re coming from. But considering she hasn’t been very understanding so far, if it were me, I wouldn’t go this route.
What you could also do isn’t as nice, but if you feel like she’s talking to you only because you think she feels like she has to, then what if you stop reaching out to her, and let her come to you instead? Maybe she won’t text you first, and the relationship will fizzle out. However, if she does text you first, then at least you know that she’s trying to put in a little bit of effort, and she could be receptive if you were to talk to her about how it makes you feel when she gets salty at you all because you ask for clarification. And then at that point, you’d have an opportunity to explain that you don’t want to cause tension between the two of you, and ask if she thinks another break would be helpful.
That’s all I’ve really got (I’ve done both of these methods, and they do work, to a degree. It depends on you and it depends on the person you’re breaking it off with).
If anyone else wants to jump in, please do!
- Mod Hawk
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Hiii i saw your matchups/cakes and I LOVE THEM. English is not my first language so i am sorry for any wrong spelings and grammar use lol. Can a Get a boy from Hq?????? I am a capricorn, with a lot of fire sign in my chart. ISTP. Tall girl, 175cm. Dark blond hair to under my shoulders, blue eyes. Lean bulid, but mby a little broad shoulders and waist. Enything else is normal ig. I indeed have cheek bones and jawline, a caps face traits a think. Stretch marked on my ass and things. Im just gonna keep my personality short cuz i dont know how to talk about myself. Im Shy and intro and first, then i will open up and become a messy and late-coming person. Im never on time to anything. Once you know me and logical thinking, feisty, dark humor type of funny, sly, stubborn, determind, strong minded, oberetiv and a daredevil. I will do enything for somthing in return. Nobody can hold me back. I am also a Clumsy person, a will let a word og two slip and offend somone, will break or forget somthing. Im always there my friends, help them out with everthing and my door is always open for them. Street smart all the way, i Can talk about enything and give tips and trix on enything. Im not the Life of the party, in a party im either outside or taking care of Ppl or i am sipping for other ppls drinks. I listen to pop/rock but i Can vibe to anything. I also love pasta. And cats, but im allergic): I overthink a lot, tend to bottle up on my emotions and then just let it burst when im alone. I got bullied as a kid, thats why i keep to myself and have Some close friends and then friends i dont trust that much. I like long lasting realtionships and friendships. I wont settle for somthing that i dont belive will work. I just want to feel safe and loved and held, lol. Am i rly ugly cryer btw so i wont look into another persons eyes. I train a lot, do sport shooting, wresle a lot with my friends and dad in a safe way ofc. I love to have a friendly and funny wtesle. I lough a lot. I said i do sport shooting, and i hate it when ppl take it the wrong way and starts to compare it to illegal activity. That my biggest pet peeve, and loud chewers. I LOVE CHEES AND CARD GAMES. Also late night means and snacks. My favorite time is like late at night, after sundown. Late night walks. Laser tag or paint ball is a must, Water and pillow fights AGH my dreams. Also, just to chill in a bathtub👌🏻✨Pfffff Idk what more. I would like a boy form Haikyuu, whos taller than me. Would be up to my randome and mby dangerous ideas, but also calm and relaxing when it fits the mood. Dosent need to know how to comfort a crying person, just like do the basics and ill be fine. THANK YOU SO MUCH😘
@sussebassen
Romantic Matchup
Tendou Satori
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How Y’all Met
Ahhhh
Y’all had a class together
And EVERY SINGLE DAY you would show up late
Every. Single. Day
It doesn’t matter if you we’re 5 minutes late, or 15 minutes late
You never showed up on time
This peeked Tendous interest...
So, he asked you about it
You then explained how you never try to be late, it just always happened
Then one day
Satori was walking to class
The bell was going to ring soon so he was trying to hurry
Then he saw you
You were also just trying to get to class ON TIME for once
But you tripped...
And you fell...
And ALL of your papers went everywhere 🥲
You silently cursed to yourself before rushing to pick up your things
And you we’re startled when a certain redhead began to help you
You guys had gathered all of your things before RUNNING to get to class
And you guys were still able to make it on time 😃
The teacher made a remark that maybe you should hang around Tendou more often if it gets you to class on time
Little did he know that you would do just that
Apparently you both had similar interests
So you guys became really good friends
And feeling began to bloom over time
Poor bb was to scared to confess to you tho :(
He didn’t want to scare off one of the only friends he had
Of course he told all of this to Ushijima
And of course Ushijimas LOUD MOUTH
spilled the beans
Unintentionally of course
But still
He just didn’t get the gist that all of this was supposed to be a secret
So one day when he and Tendou were walking together
They saw you
And Ushijima was just like “ah your that person that Tendou likes correct?”
You:😳
Him:🙂
Tendou: 🥲
Tendou then took you aside and properly confessed his feelings
He was 100% sure you were gonna reject him
“I like you too Tendou”
I’m sorry what????
He was SHOCKED
Baffled
Beguiled
But SUPER DUPER HAPPY
he pulled you in for a bone crushing hug
And promised to be the best bf ever
Awww my boy luvs ya
What They Love About You
Ight I’m just gonna say it...
Mans ADORES your stretch marks
He thinks they’re so cool!!!
He often compares you to a tiger because of them
Oof
He LOVES your sense of humor
He also has a darker sense of humor
So you guys mesh very well when it comes to that
Loves that you have the combo of being sly and a daredevil
If there’s one thing satori loves...
It’s pranks
So those traits of yours make pranks so much easier to pull off 😩
He loves how he can talk to you about ANYTHING
He knows that if he’s ever distressed about something he can go to you
So he’s vv grateful for that 🙏
Favorite Things To Do Together
Oh he LOVES to play card games
His favorites is slap Jack
WARNING: he gets REALLY into that game
So he hits HARD
So be prepared...
He 100% swoops you away to stores in the middle of the night
Have you guys been caught sneaking out?
Yes
Was that the last time you did it?
Absolutely not
LASER TAGGGGGG
YOU WILL GET DESTROYED
MANS IS THE KING OF LASER TAG
So just take that L
Also paintball
He’s not that good at paintball
Mans aim is booty
But he still likes to play!
Random Hc
You’d actually be quite shocked on how chill he could be
Like sometimes he just reads his manga sin silence
If you want to talk then sure
But those are the moments he prefers to be quiet
The reason he’s so good at laser tag...
Is because kids used to target him 🥲
So he had to adapt...
And now he’s a pro!
If you ever want to talk to him about your bullyed past
ON GOD mans is always there for you
He knows what it feels like
So his goal is to comfort you when it comes to that
Honestly
Mf chews loud...
So that’s something you’d have to work on 😃
But he’ll try his best to stop if it bothers you THAT much
Astrology
Capricorn + Taurus
When Taurus and Capricorn come together in a love match, it’s a practical, sensible partnership.
These two Signs share a certain down-to-earth logic and interest in efficiency.
Taurus is not interested in risking more than is necessary in terms of emotional connection and involvement, and Capricorn is similarly disinterested in risk, but more in terms of money and career.
Capricorn’s career is one of the great focuses of their lives; they’re interested in scaling the heights and tend to set very high standards for themselves to adhere to.
Taurus has high standards as well, but regarding love, relationships and possessions.
These two signs admire ones dedication and strength, but, while they have this in common as well as a dependable, realistic, somewhat conservative approach to life (Capricorn more than Taurus), a love relationship between them can go stale fast.
The problem? They’re actually rather different at their cores.
Taurus may begin to find Capricorn too conservative and restrictive
Capricorn may start to think Taurus is too lazy and doesn’t care enough about career and status.
If Taurus can encourage Capricorn to relax a little and appreciate the fruits of labor, and if Capricorn can help motivate Taurus to achieve goals and make dreams a reality, their union can be smooth, happy and long-lasting.
Overall Aesthetic
Chaotic Teenage Romance
Songs
Electric Love- BØRNS
Line Without a Hook- Ricky Montgomery
Scrawny- Wallows
Hey Lover- Wabie
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elriell · 4 years
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Answer to my LONG ask friend, posting it like this because I imagine it would be way to long or else! 
hi i hope you dont mind me asking, but perhaps any elriel meta will be willing to cover the whole berons alliance with the queen? because i think thats our winning argument in favor of elriels endgame. and i wish im not reaching or overthinking this lol.
why it will be our winning argument? becaue the whole beron pledged alliance to the queen dont mean anything just yet, it hasnt been flushed out yet (sarah left it open ended), and it will definitely be the main conflict in the next book just to set up the final book and war where all the sides has been established whos with who.
because in my perspective, elriels story really will trigger that conflict and rhysands warning in az pov is literally the set up for that conflict.
when i read acosf, i was thinking there is literally no point of beron making alliance with the queen aside him wanting to be the high king, more power, why would he do that when the queen is in the continent and him in prythian, other high lords will surely oppose him being the high king. thus its two (if the queen indeed would help him) versus six since koschei is still trapped in the lake. plus, his alliance is still a secret, surely other courts will learn of it, wont they?
now however possible consequences from elriel, beron perhaps will use the rejecting mating bond—the blood duel—as a reason to declare a war and have other courts against the night court or eris will finally dethrone his father and be the high lord. and with eris being the high lord, isnt that going to be one of the key topic for morrigans book? sarah also confirms morrigan book and she admits that she doesnt know what the novella is going to be, so its same to assume that mor will get a full novel.
fyi, i cant see lucien will challenge azriel though, he is decent and will respect elains choice, but beron as cruel as he is will surely do something sinister.
and i stumbled across an account on twitter and they compare elriels story to helen of troy and the set up of the trojan war is literally the same as elriel. also, beron reminds me of agamemnon in troy movie (2004), both of them want more power. there are a lot of similarities, imo, between elriel and the set up of iliad. in iliad there is also a duel between hector and achilles (this is me reaching lol).
thus, aside from elains connection to the dread trove, elriels conflict also has the logical conflict that tied to the whole overarching plot for the plot of the series to move forward toward the end, because like i said the whole berons alliance need to be addressed and in acosf it hasnt been addressed yet, at least not enough.
im really sorry if i come off as rude by asking this. i would do it honestly, but i dont have the confidence to post anything online (hence, im anonymous) and im not as convincing as the others in terms of flushing the arguments.
also, you are literally keeping me sane when all of elain antis trying their hardest to discredit elriels.
thank you❤️❤️❤️
Hi! I’m that anon who said that Elriel’s conflict with Beron could be the winning argument for our ship since they are tied closely with each other based on Rhysand’s warning in Azriel POV. If you decide to answer that question, would you mind if you answer this one instead? As I’m pretty much still stand on that point however I’d like to add and correct some statements that I think I don’t express clearly in my previous question:)
If you don’t mind, I’d like to post my theory here, anonymously, since I’m not confident enough to post my thoughts online yet as I’m afraid I’ll be judged harshly lol. And perhaps other metas such as you would like to elaborate more on the matter since I think it is a vital plot for Elriel’s book. It’s quite long, I do apologize for that:)
Like I said, Beron allegiance with Briallyn didn’t make any sense to me and it also took me by surprise when I read ACOSF. Why?
A. Briallyn lived on the continent and Beron is in Prythian. Wouldn’t it be better for him to seek an ally that is closer to him instead? We know that Beron wants to be an ally with her because he heard about her ambition. And I suspect that Beron wants to be the High King or kill Feyre since he knows that she has his power. But one thing for sure is that he wants more power.
B. If he indeed wants to be High King or kill Feyre then I don’t believe that the other high lords would comply with him. Therefore, Beron wouldn’t stand a chance against the other high lords and lady in Prythian since it is two (before the queen was killed by Nesta) versus six. Plus, Briallyin lived in the continent thus her allegiance was not something that he could hold on to, imo.
So obviously we know that Briallyn is dead and her allegiance doesn’t mean anything anymore. However, from her allegiance with Beron we now know that Beron for sure set to be the other villain of this new overarching plot alongside Koschei. And I also think that Beron would be the main villain for the next book because a villain as big as Koschei would likely be dealt in the last book.
Now, why is it tied with Elriel? I think Rhysand’s warning in Az’s POV explains it plainly, and I can’t help but think that it is a set up, a foreshadowing, of what would happen in the next book, especially since Koschei’s plotline is not foreshadowed enough in ACOSF and we only know of his onyx box which we get from ACOWAR.
If we acknowledge that Elriel is endgame and their story is next, then Beron surely comes to play in the next book. Their relationship will push the overarching plot one step closer to its climax.
FYI, I can’t see Lucien invoke the Blood Duel himself, he is a decent person so he will respect and understand Elain’s choice to be with Azriel since it is definitely where we are going in the matter of endgame. But, Beron, as cruel as he is, will surely make use of the situation to profit himself, to reach his ambition that is momentarily squashed with Briallyn dead.
These are possible results of what could happen with Blood Duel plotline:
1. Beron would ally himself with Koschei as Briallyn did before because he knows he is outnumbered if he declared a war against the Night Court.
2. Beron could convince other high lords in Prythian to go against the Night Court if Lucien was killed in the Blood Duel, I pray that it will not happen though Lucien deserve some peace and happiness with the woman who wants and loves him voluntarily.
3. Eris would rebel against his father's order for Lucien to invoke the duel, and Beron would be dethroned by Eris and he would be the next high lord of Autumn Court.
I personally lean more on number three, because with Eris being the high lord wouldn’t it be one of the key topics for Mor’s book? It is already confirmed that Sarah pitched Mor’s story as one of the books and she admits that she doesn’t know what the novella is going to be. So, it’s safe to assume that Mor will get a full novel, not a novella one. Seeing her sparse appearance and development we’ve seen of her in ACOSF, then it is also logical to assume that Mor will not be the next book main character.
In conclusion, Elriel needs to happen to address Beron's situation and bring the overall plot of the series a bit higher before it reaches climax in the final book. Is it also possible that Beron’s scenario still can be addressed without it being tied to Elain and Azriel? Yes, but, I will say it again, Rhysand’s warning is a clue, a foreshadowing, of what conflict will be covered in the next book. For an author to drop something as big as that but not happening is a lazy writing in my opinion.
In the previous question I also mentioned that Elriel’s story is kinda similar to Iliad. Their set up is pretty much similar to me, however, I don’t think Elriel’s story will end in tragedy since Sarah doesn’t like to read, write, sad endings.
I’m sorry if I come off as ordering you around, but I really appreciate it if you and other metas also put your thought in the whole Beron/Elriel situation since I’m 95% sure Elain book is next and Azriel will be her LI seeing there is no progress with her and Lucien yet.
And I still stand by my point, you and other Elriel metas keep me sane when all of Elriel antis trying their hardest to discredit all of Elriel’s interaction and feeling in order to make their ship endgame. Thank you so much❤️❤️❤️
Wowza! This has got to be one of the longest asks I have ever received, hahah, congratulations and thank you for taking the time to write it to me! 
I would definitely consider doing such a meta, I am working on my Elriel debunking one currently, chipping away at it slowly! It’s a big boy.
I definitely agree that it is a very important and key point because like you said Elriel will be the trigger that pushes this story forward, giving Beron the push he needs, and also it will give or potential for Eris to step in and also Lucien by proxy. It would as you said accelerate the whole plot.
I have said before and I will say it again, Elriel brings so much plot to the story and ties in so many different characters, that say Gwynriel for arguments sake, doesn’t. I have no doubts at all who are the next POVs.
Agree with literally every ounce of your first ask, they have all the ties. There is no point mentioning The blood Duel if it is never going to come in to play, whether they actually do it or get close too it has to happen now. And if that is the case then Elriel clearly has to happen to get there! I don’t think Lucien would participate because I think he would respect Elains decision but who knows...
I feel like their is potential for his hand to be forced by say Beron or someone else, like you said though all ties roll back to Elain. And her ARC. 
I am so sorry you don’t feel like you can post it yourself, because you clearly have some great well thought out perspective, and you are well spoken. I am sure the fandom would love to hear your thoughts from you, when you are ready of course. Until then you are always welcome to come here and share with me!!
Going to answer your second one separately because I didn’t read the second one first and now I see you said to answer the other one ahhhahaha
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liketolaugh-writes · 3 years
Note
whats ur thoughts on ppl loving ur headcanons enough to write them into their own works? do u want credit for them? obsessed w links chronic pain & ur ptsd headcanons for him (but add in the fact ive had a rly similar sign name idea for botw link since botw came out and it makes me feel like im plucking directly from ur stuff. thievery of the highest order, even if the name came independently. stealing… preemptively. thats what it feels like) AND in love w the sheikah slate being a speaking aid and its like i want to write with all of that in mind but i overthink very hard n i dont wanna storm into a space not meant for me if ur protective over ur interpretation of botw link? listen i KNOW u dont own
CAT SENT THAT ASK BEFORE I WAS DONE (passes out) but listen. ik u dont Own LOZ or the Rights to Headcanons but i. dont like! running w other ppls ideas if theres potential that they wont like it. so i gotta check in. thank u have a good day
That’s wonderfully thoughtful of you, and I really appreciate your asking! <3 And I totally get it, you have no idea how many times I’ve sent asks a lot like this checking if it’s alright to write a derivative idea. (Hello, Circuit Breaker! Never did get an answer for that one.)
I’d say it depends on how direct the inspiration is, but I promise I won’t be annoyed either way! Honestly, I’d be delighted to see a lot of these hcs in other works - a lot of the reason I started writing for LOZ is because I was literally never, ever going to find a Link as specific as the one I wanted. I was having trouble finding h/c fic at all, frankly!
In general, though, trust your judgement! Something like using the sign name ‘Honey Nut’ or any of the Hallowell family I would want credit for, but Link with PTSD is pretty bog-standard even with the specific symptoms I give him. (A different but similar sign name is fine without credit, especially bc you specified it came independently!) Chronic pain falls somewhere in between - I’d appreciate a shout-out, but it is canon that he has scars, and it’s not that much of a stretch from scars to pain. Honest to God though I would be so thrilled just to see it written. And the Sheikah slate... I think it would be okay either way, and I wouldn’t actually ask for credit unless you used precisely the same system. (The system I write about is based on real-life AAC devices, by the way!)
So in conclusion, the only thing I think there’s absolutely no reason to credit me for is Link with PTSD, and the rest is really up to you. <3
(Just to throw it out there, I actually totally would be okay with anyone using the Hallowell family with credit, just because I fucking adore fics involving protagonists’ lost families, but I understand that creating a believable and lovable family for them is tricky. I have internal rules out my ass for how to create and present OCs in fanfic, lmao.)
I broke it down point-by-point because I know how reassuring it is to get specific, solid answers, but I do want to reiterate that you’re absolutely right - no one owns an idea, especially in the fanfic community. I usually just let people dictate whether or not I use the ‘inspired by’ AO3 function to link back to their fic. (Oh, goodness, and I reread your ask just now and I hope that this wasn’t too overboard - no, I’m not at all protective of my headcanons, and I live by the philosophy ‘write what you want to read.’ God, do I!)
Can you send me a link when it’s up? 👀 I haven’t read much LOZ fanfiction in a while, and I look for it even less - it’s just so rare for me to find one to my tastes. Sassy verbal (abled) Link is a gem of his own, but not really what I want out of a BOTW fanfic.
(Also, I apologize if I made you anxious with how long this took lmao - you might have noticed I never shut the fuck up, and everything got written all out of order too. Thanks, ADHD.)
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neo-shitty · 3 years
Note
toffee!
hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)
YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults
ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)
hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)
> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy
back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious
no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.
yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)
YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.
hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!
hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?
wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?
no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying
<3 w.a. 🐺
sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;
yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.
i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.
abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.
anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://
HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*
i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.
i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.
it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.
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lanchang · 3 years
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FX would probably confess at like, the weirdest moment, like they are probably a year after HC returned, they are all sitting around and he and MQ are pretending to eat XL's sludge that he tries to pass off as hotpot and then MQ tosses his ponytail over his shoulder and he just turns to him and breathes out "I love u" like an idiot
awww confessions over inedible sludge thats perfect for them tbh i mean when feng xin said his thing about "youre not so bad just stop being so sarcastic all the time" they were in a deadly lava lair and he had just saved mu qing from an untimely death like the big goddamn hero that he is (also poor guy he really was freaking out in that chapter everyone disappeared on him) so this is a step up tbh. that was also a weird moment for fx to say that btw like literally 800 years of mu qing not saying what he really felt and as soon as he finally does feng xin is like "can you just be normal?" so it really all does make sense and feng xin hasnt ever been much for keeping his mouth shut unless he felt like he had to (the only times i can think of were because it wasnt his place as a servant of the royal family and tbh even back in xianle he would still tell xie lian what was on his mind a lot of the time) like if he has something to say he will just say it like he would not overthink it or have a complex about it i really do feel like at most he would try to have a plan but then he would be with mu qing and think it and just say it right then and there... the real question is how everyone else would react. im always torn between xie lian waiting and watching and prodding them along and trying to give them advice OR he just has no fucking clue and it's hua cheng who is sitting there going "took them long enough. gege i love you but i dont even like them and i could see it happening for the past year" while mu qing is just sitting there like i have absolutely no idea what to do with such a straightforward declaration of affection also dianxia and his stupid boyfriend are here why are you like this also for some reason i cant stop smiling
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2021ssajka · 3 years
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I have been active on social media under @Jankathleenart for a very long time. this is where I post my paintings, sketches, photography and things I love and enjoy. its very casual and I keep it free. I try not to overthink it. i try not to treat it so professionally so I can keep it fun and enjoyable. 
lately I have it a plateau. It all started with these two friends I had who kept saying something about my work. they would ask my why do I keep posting things like these. why do i keep using the color yellow and pushing me to use other colors. they would ask me why I use those music for my art videos and etc. they would keep giving unsolicited advice and comments i did not ask for and i did not appreciate. 
I would always explain myself and my choices and and person would answer “you. know im only trying to help right?”. He is not helpin gme at all but only continuing to criticize me and my work when he knows nothing. It didnt feel right to me what he was doing so i needed some space apart. 
I told my other friend I was uncomfortable with people following me in social media. I couldnt tell her that it was her and her boyfriend specifically who was making me feel so uncomfortable with their comments.
I felt like i dont have control over my work. I have always been a private person, and now I dont even use my personal account and now I feel like even my art account is under attack because of those people. that art account is never meant to be for friends. its for me to express myself and share my work. I hate how i have no control over who i can share my work towards in social media. this has been an ongoing problem for me for a while. 
after that I was uncomfortable sharing my work. I knew they are always gonna say something. they kept pushing and pushing me. towards my work even tho they know nothing about art or my practice. I stopped posting because of that pressure I felt. its been 2 months since I have posted. 
last night I tried posting a landscape photo just to dip my feet into the pool again. I felt anxious again. I felt the pressure again and that did not feel good. I suddenly remembered the people who can see my work and I felt eyes on me. 
I feel like some people are in my life follow that account soley just to keep tabs on me. And I do not appreciate that at all. 
I would remove followers here and there, People i felt uncomfortable following me. My posts are very personal to me. they’re a glimpse inside my world and thoughts and i really do not appreciate people giving unsolicited advice. I know this will be something I will have to deal with if I want to be a practicing artist. I dont mind strangers that much, but if its people in my personal life. I would like to draw some BOUNDERIES between my personal life and my professional life. 
I just wish apps would give more control over their users. I wish there is a chance to be anonymous on social media. 
For me, social media is access. and all these people have access to me and my work. Its so weird to me how these people have updates to my thoughts with just a click of a button. once I post something, theres no room to breathe but it instantly goes to their feeds. Its just too much for me to handle lately so I took a break. I may be overthinking this again but I just dont feel good about it. 
This is basically the reason why I dont post my actual “fine art” paintings in my account. 
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That was the main reason why I created @jankathleenart that was supposed to be my “alter ego” or more like a stage name. Thats my first name but I just go by “kat”. @jankathleenart became more like a crafty feed. more like a behind the scenes and sketchbook photos that I would share. this doesnt speak to my fine art work though. 
Given this occurring issue. Im considering making a different account for my actual work. or I could rebrand my accounts. but i really enjoy my more casual way of posting and working. I do not want to treat my account like a job. 
Im thinking about going a different name or something for my fine art work. not sure if this is the best way to go. 
I do like Jan Kathleen. I did that as a way for me to reclaim my name that I did not resonate with (since people just called me Kat). That is also an intentional move to leave out my last name- to keep something for myself. but I also did not refer to my last name because this is my my Fathers (It was recently brought to my attention that every last name came from the father side, being passed down to their daughters as if they are their property even if they are absent). I want to shine light to my first name which is given to me by my mother (the woman who raised me) and claim my power to choosing my own name. 
Im thinking of making my current JanKathleenArt account into a subaccount and naming it JKAJournal and then making a new JanKathleenArt as a rebranding move. The only thing about that is that people will still know its me lol
Another option is to maybe to go anonymous behind my work because I do treasure my personal life. I do not wish to put so much of myself out there more than my art (since that is already personal enough). 
I heard about Layqa Nuna Yawar and how this is a name he chose for himself.  
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𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕌𝕡♡
hi admins! i hope you're doing well! may i request a haikyuu matchup please? and may i stay anonymous? Thank you!
I'm about 160cm tall and a little chubby, have thick long hair that reaches my lower back, brown eyes. My mbti is intj and my zodiac sign is scorpio! Im quiet and shy with new people, mostly because im not sure what to say/talk about and i worry if i'll say something wrong, so i find it hard to initiate conversation first and make new friends by myself. With friends or acquaintances i prefer to be listening rather than talking due to the same reason but also because i like listening to other peoples stories as well. I have a small circle of really close friends who im comfortable with tho and thats where i can really talk and joke around a LOT, like people who i dont know very well would most likely be surprised by my actual personality, it just takes some time for me to open up :') With close friends, I'm more witty, talkative and affectionate, both physically and with words. I always try to be supportive and caring to my friends, but i also won't sugarcoat advice if it's something they need. I have a "bad" sense of humor, which just means i will laugh at the unfunniest dumb jokes and puns bcs i genuinely find them funny.
I find that i overthink and worry a lot, and i get frustrated with my lack of social skills sometimes. Like i wish i can be more open to people and i want to try new things but i just get scared of stepping out of my comfort zone and also afraid that people would find me weird and judge me. I also get stressed out easily by responsibilities(?) Like i have a to do list in my brain of assignments, exams or other things i need to do so it'll always be in the back of my mind and i can't really take a break peacefully until everything's done, although thats quite rare as im in medical school right now and have exams at least twice a month :'). Im also insecure with my body most of the time but im slowly trying to love myself more :) my favourite physical feature is probably my hair. I just love having it touched or played with or getting it braided, etc.
My hobbies nowadays are mostly watching stuff. I'll watch movies, tv shows, musicals, plays, youtube videos or anything rlly. I don't have a favourite genre either, as long as i find it enjoyable i'd watch it. I also like playing games, with my recent obsession being animal crossing :) I read fiction novels too sometimes. I just really like relaxing and chilling in bed during my downtime to recharge my energy, especially after a long day or after going out, though i dont mind doing it with another person if im comfortable with them. I'm not a very sporty or artistic person either but i play several musical instruments sometimes and i love listening to music while doing other things. I'm somehow very good at playing with kids though? Like toddlers, especially. I don't know why but I'm good at entertaining them i guess hahah so i dont mind babysitting my young cousins usually.
ok thats all i have, sorry if its a little long! thank you so much!!
»»————- ♡ ————-««
Hello sweet pea~! Of course you may! I’m so sorry this took so long to get out~! Thank you so much for requesting with us~! I hope you enjoy who I’ve paired you with, and as always thank you so much for your love and support for our blog~!
» » Admin Ko
𝕀 𝕊𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙...
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ᴋᴇɴᴍᴀ ᴋᴏᴢᴜᴍᴇ
Practically the same as you, Kenma is one who isn’t necessarily shy, but finds it a hassle to interact with people. He’s not friends with many, and considers his closest group of friends to be Kuroo and Hinata (with exception of the volleyball team). You two meet really through a mutual acquaintance (Hinata) and it honestly hits off from there. He appreciates your quiet spoken personality and immensely enjoys how kind you are when listening to other’s problems and issues. 
Kenma will be surprised once you begin to open up out of your shell, but it’s not unwelcome. Rather it’s a breath of fresh air from him. In comparison to Hinata’s sunshine like attitude, yours is like that of a warm spring day that he can lounge in forever. It’s to your surprise that besides playing video games, Kenma actually enjoys to de-stress by braiding and playing with your hair. It’s a feat that you don’t exactly except from the quiet setter, but it’s not unwelcome. To him, it’s absolutely endearing when he sets down his controller or phone to see you with sparkling eyes and freshly brushed hair. 
Contrary to your overthinking and worrying, Kenma will be the one to help ground you and remind you of the factual evidence whilst making sure you’re not on the path to an anxiety filled panic. Not only that, but he understands your frustration in wanting to be able to communicate freely with others whilst being yourself. Besides that, Kenma is no stranger to disliking or getting out of his comfort zone. In that aspect, he can relate to the anxiety and nervous build up before a change. 
When it comes to self love, he’s adamant in showing you how wonderful you are. It’s not often that he will compliment someone, but he makes the effort for you just so you remember how gorgeous you truly are to him. As for your hobbies? The moment he sees you playing animal crossing he’s demanding multiple island dates, and will most definitely gift you everything he receives in game. Anything rare or hard to create, he has already sent you the finish product along with the DIY. It’s one of his favorite types of dates with you. Besides watching movies in bed, he absolutely loves to lay side by side with you whilst you both explore the world of Animal Crossing. 
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eiro-ae · 6 years
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Unsure
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Genre: Fluff, slight angst
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: None
It was late afternoon when you had managed to make it home, a cute valentines gift bag in your hands, full with gifts and a card for your one and only valentine. It had taken you so long to hand make half of these items, but it was definitely worth it. You placed the bag on display on your kitchen counter before making your way to your room and pulling out your phone.
[6:23pm] Whatcha doin?
You waited for a moment, a giddy smile upon your face.
[6:27pm] Practice.
The one word response was a little new, he had always made time to give you an appropriate response because he knew you hated one word responses. However, you let it slide, just thinking that he must be super busy.
[6:29pm] I have something for you. Can you text me when you’re available?
Another moment passed, the three dots seemingly permanent on the screen.
[6:32pm] Sure, it’ll be a little bit though.
As much as you had hoped it would be sooner, you understood that he was busy, so you gave a small pout before replying.
[6:34pm] Okay, that’s fine.
To pass time, you laid there, scrolling through youtube. A few funny videos popped up, and of course you had to watch those. One in particular had almost brought you to tears from laughing so hard, so you decided to send it to Yangyang. You didn’t expect any response, and as you expected, you got nothing.
You continued to wait, for much longer than you wanted. It was getting later and later and not a single word from Yangyang. Your heart began to drop, bringing your mind to a thinking state. A state you knew you didn’t need to be in. You always overthought things, and you knew that, but you just couldn’t help it. Yangyang was the first good thing that has ever happened to you and you were just so scared that he too would get tired of you and walk out on you.  
It was now 8pm, and you still hadn’t heard a single word from him. Does he even know what today is? Did he just forget? Those questions brought you to another question, one that you had put off for so long. What are we?
You and Yangyang had been friends for so long, and you obviously had a massive crush on him, but… when he asked you to be his girlfriend, he was so confident. He kind of laughed about it, as if it was a joke. Of course you said yes, you’d be a fool to say no. His face had fallen, he seemed so shocked that you had said yes. You couldn’t tell if it was because he wasn’t expecting you to feel the same way, or if he was shocked you took his joke seriously. He never said anything about it, instead he just said okay before running off with his friends.
Now that you two were… together? You hated that you couldn’t quite label it. Anyway, he doesn’t treat you like his girlfriend. He still treats you like a friend. He never holds your hand, he never kisses you, he never calls you any names other than your name or some stupid nickname he gave you in middle school. You were starting to wonder if maybe he was joking that day, that he didn’t actually want you to take it seriously.
You shot up from your lying position, eyes wide and mind racing. Was he joking that day and now has to deal with you because you said yes? Was he just trying not to hurt your feelings? Did he not want you? Is that why he’s so distant? It would make sense. You could feel the familiar sting in your eyes, trying your hardest to push back the tears, telling yourself it was a stupid reason to cry and that you were just overthinking things again, but it only made it worse.
You gripped onto the pillow you had been holding before shoving your face into it as you cried. You didn’t even notice your phone going off behind you.
[8:22pm] Okay, I’m done. What’s up?
[8:29pm] Hello? Did you fall asleep? It says you’re reading my messages
[8:34pm] I know you’re awake, you never sleep this early.
You still didn’t even notice that he was blowing up your phone, even when he called you.
[8:37pm] 1 missed call
[8:43pm] 2 missed calls
[8:48pm] 3 missed calls
He was determined to reach you, but you just wouldn’t answer your phone. He knew how you were so it was only beginning to worry him.
[8:51pm] Please answer me, you’re starting to make me worry.
[8:56pm] This isn’t like you… what's wrong?
At this point you had calmed down with the tears, instead you laid there in your bed, curled up like a child, completely forgetting that you even had a phone.
[9:16pm] Fuck this, I’m coming over.
The tears had picked back up, and you hated yourself for it. You kept telling yourself to stop being a baby, that it’s a dumb reason to cry. After another ten minutes you had expected it to die down again, but it only picked up even more and you were to the point where you were choking on your tears. You didn’t even hear the door to your apartment open, nor the footsteps that led to the opening of your bedroom door as well.
Yangyang stood there, watching your shaking figure and listening as you cried. His heart had dropped and he was more than confused. He slowly made his way to you, announcing his presence.
“No, no, no, come here.” He lifted you up as he sat on your bed before pulling you to him. You latched onto him, crying into his shoulder. You wanted to stop but it was only making it worse now that he was here.
After a good few minutes, you were able to calm down enough to pull away from him. He looked down at you with a concerned expression.
“Why were you crying?” He asked you softly as he moved a strand of hair from your face. You didn’t know how to tell him, you felt like maybe he’d just look at you like you were stupid for it. However he has a way of making you tell him what he wanted to know so you just learned to give up and tell him anyway.
“I.. um…” You sighed, looking away from him. “What are we?” You deadpanned, bringing a wave of silence into the room. Yangyangs brows furrowed as he thought about the question.
“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely confused at the question.
“I mean.. You asked me to be your girlfriend, but you looked so surprised when I said yes.” You started. He was still quite obviously confused.
“Well I mean, I was…?” How did you even properly explain to him how you felt?
“I know but… it seemed like maybe you were joking when you asked me out? And maybe you were shocked because I took your joke seriously? I mean, you haven’t treated me any different from that day. You never hold my hand, you never call me any cute names, you never kiss me, you never do anything and I was starting to wonder if you were just dealing with me because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” It was silent again, and you were starting to regret even telling him that.
“That’s not it at all.” He states plainly, going to grab your hand before sighing.
“It was never a joke, I wanted you, I still want you. I was surprised because you said yes so quickly and I was expecting a no. I was so nervous that day but I had to do it. I never do anything with you because I’ve been too nervous to. I didn’t want to move too fast because I didn’t want to scare you off. I guess that was the wrong choice. I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t want you.” The explanation was enough to make you cry again, but you forced them back. Yangyangs hand made its way to your cheek, rubbing away the tears that had already fallen.
“If you want me to hold your hand, just tell me. If you want me to call you baby, I will. If you want me to kiss you, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’d love to do all these things, I just didn’t want to rush you.” You looked up at him with glossy eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity in his own, but there was none.
“Kiss me.” You spoke softly. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he looked down to yours. He angled your face as he leaned down, his eyes closing as his soft lips met your own. The kiss you shared was gentle, but it meant so much to you. You kissed him back with such feeling, and you could almost understand how he felt just by the way he kissed you. When he pulled away, you were slightly disappointed, wanting nothing more then to attach your lips to his once more. He gazed down at you with a smile.
“So.. about that gift.” You let out a giggle before lightly smacking his arm.
“Kiss me again and I’ll go get it for you.” He smiled before leaning down to meet your lips once more.
“Gladly.”
This was based on a dream that I had. I honestly forgot I wrote it but I thought I’d go ahead and post it. 
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