#im amazing at bullshiting stuff

[mr-ladystardust]

aqa english language, best exam format in the world <3

[neves-trouble]

"Taash? More like Traash" wow haha you're so funny and original 😐

[skrunksthatwunk]

haruka should be allowed to be mad at kiryu tbh

[noirsdoll]

-> pretty please? part one

all aboard! | the dinner party | room for three

pairing: curly x reader

words: 4.2k

tags: rape, drugging, implied/referenced abuse, mentions of baby trapping, mentions of jimmy being an asshole, reader is so much worse, no crash au, anya hate (im sorry), poor curly

notes: um… first post ever? so nervous but uhhh wanted to write a reader who is literally jimmy but hates everything jimmy is and wants to fuck curly. parallels!! i want curly so bad oh my godddd

writing style + some ideas inspired by @rimqueen !! go check out her stuff she is amazing!!

read it on ao3

Dumb, blond and pretty. Tears bead along his waterline, the prettiest sobs choking from his throat. Blond hair curls on his chest, frames that perfect cock. He looks like a picture, the type of fantasy you’d cook up with your hand between your legs.

Curly gazes up at you like he’s been stabbed, but he’s the one stabbing you. He stuffs you full of cock, it’s impossible not to prod at your cervix with the angle you’ve gotten him in, seated in his lap. He winces when he feels it. You moan.

The quiet hum of the Tulpar displaces your sound and that soft slide of skin on skin. Curly’s eyes are so far gone, so distant. The sharp points of your nails drag along the doughy parts of him. You salivate thinking about the muscle hidden underneath it all— muscle he could use to fight back, but he’s far too kind for that.

The perfect captain, reduced to a mess, reduced to nothing, reduced to fat tits and big hands and meaty thighs. You smile, thumbing his kiss-swollen lips. You go back in for seconds, he lets you because that’s his responsibility.

Delicate like tripwire, you’ve walked circles around him, poked and prodded at him. He keens like a dog when you scratch behind the ears. Poor thing, it’s not his fault. It’s you who kept thinking about it. Getting filled up by his fat cock till it bulges out of your belly, seeing his fingers wind in the sheets to stop himself from moving into you.

His pretty eyes are glazed over, you tap his cheek and he comes to. Curly looks at you, he’s really crying now, big globs cascading down his face. You wipe them away, shush him like a baby, stretched so impossibly on his dick that it’s hard to focus.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” you whisper, fingers tracing the line of his jaw.

He sniffles and says nothing, leaving you to stew in your guilt. You’re not guilty, you were just too eager. He’ll forgive you for this once you’re done.

Curly doesn’t meet your eyes at the morning meeting. He addresses everyone else with that worn smile of his. The one that had heat coiling in your stomach, the one you had to ruin. Split open on your fingers, the shine of spit on his pouty lips.

Swansea, Jimmy, Daisuke, that bitch Anya. She says something and he laughs, that perfect glimmer of pearly whites. Not that same pretty shade of white his cum is, you remember the way he went red as it dripped out of you. You hope it got you pregnant, then he’ll have no reason to talk to her.

You approach them both, unable to hide your grin when Curly locks up like a sore muscle. “Anya, good morning!”

She turns to look at you, a bashful smile on her face. “Oh, good morning!”

“I was doing inventory on our stock, there’s a bottle of sleeping pills missing. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” Absolute bullshit on your part, you just need her gone.

To your surprise, Anya’s face drains in colour. Seems there was some truth to your words. “There is? I’ll go check on that right away.” She turns and leaves immediately.

You glance at Curly. “Looks like she’ll be missing the meeting. I don’t mind filling her in afterwards.”

He glares at you. It’s a new expression, but it gets you soaked all the same. “What are you doing?”

“Did you have fun last night?” You’re giddy just thinking about it, replaying every moment of it in a pornographic loop— you don’t know why Curly chose to be a captain when he’d fare much better in front of a camera.

He crosses his arms, looking away. “It’s not happening again.” Curly’s eyes are more sunken than normal.

“You didn’t like it? Not even a little?” Despite everything, your heart sinks a little. Not enough to discourage you, of course, but you like to think you’re fairly pretty. He must be a narcissist, one with a type for airheads like Anya.

“I have work to do. Go help Anya.” He leaves to pilot the ship.

Jimmy takes that as an invitation to sidle up next to you. “What’s up with him?”

You glance at him in disgust. There’s something leering about Jimmy’s gaze, the way he oversees the rest of the crew with an air of superiority. Not to mention how he looks at Anya like he’s mentally undressing her. You might hate her, but you hate Jimmy more.

“Sleeping pills, really?” Curly already told him off when Anya originally came forward about Jimmy— you’re surprised he didn’t do something rash like crash the ship. Seems like now he’s employing new techniques on her.

“Keep your voice down,” he hisses, glancing over at Swansea and Daisuke, who are clearly much more engrossed in bolts and nuts and whatever engineers talk about.

“I’m telling Curly.” To help him feel less alone.

Jimmy scoffs. “He already knows.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing. He’s got the resilience of pillow fluff.” He shrugs, “so I’m using sleeping pills on her now, so what?”

“You’re a monster.” You grimace.

“I’m a man with needs. The Pony Express should give us fleshlights or something if they really cared.” Jimmy glances down at you. “Or dildos, I guess.”

What a prick. You’re surprised he hasn’t been put in a holding cell yet. You head down to the medbay to check on Anya. She’s sitting at the table, staring down at the inventory list.

You take the seat across from her. “Everything okay?”

She jumps at the sound. Anya quickly scrambles to put away the list. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

You’re unsure how to gently breach the subject, so you just flat out say it. “Jimmy told me.”

She stops what she’s doing, her eyes trembling as she looks at you. “Oh, he did?”

“That’s where the missing pills were from. Not sure how you want to record that on the log, but uh…,” you trail off. “Curly isn’t going to do anything about it, trust me.” You also just want her to back off from him.

Anya sinks back into her seat, forlorn. “I know… I just, I don’t know what else to do.”

“Hey, I’ll keep an eye out for you, yeah?” You say, softly. “It’s the two of us women on this ship. We should look out for each other.” You’re not sure where this is coming from. You think you’d rather foil whatever Jimmy plans to do to her than actually help her.

She nods, a hopeful smile on her face. “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do.”

“No, really,” she insists. “You’re a good person.”

Your smile falls. “See you around, Anya.”

You slip the sleeping pills out from Jimmy’s pocket when he isn’t looking. You drop a couple in Curly’s evening coffee. He drinks one at the same time every night. You don’t know why he bothers– the beans are all stale and it tastes more like cardboard than anything. He’s a man of habit, you guess.

When he starts nodding off at dinner, it’s your cue to help him to his quarters. You make a few teasing remarks about your tired captain to displace any suspicion. Jimmy gives you a knowing look.

Curly’s big and heavy, just like his cock. Curse of the sleeping pills— it’s soft. You settle for dragging your slit down the length of it, coating it in slick. This isn’t as fun as seeing him cry or seeing any of his reactions, but you’re not one to complain. You grab at his tits, sucking a pretty bruise into his pale skin. It blooms like a flower underneath his collarbone.

His cock twitches as you finish the hickey, nudging your clit and pushing you over the edge. You finish yourself off, getting up and off of him and doing up his clothes as best as you can. You dip out of his room like nothing happened, a pleased grin on your face.

It’ll be up to him to notice what you did.

It’s the weekend. Daisuke’s brought out his gaming console— a retro one that probably costs a shit-ton of money. You envy his ability to not have to care about finances. This freighter is like a summer camp to him.

He’s beaten you a handful of times now, but you’ve made peace with the fact he’ll always be better than you at video games. Gotta let the guy have one thing going for him in his life.

You hear the sound of the automatic doors opening. It’s Swansea. “Alright, kid. Playtime’s over. I got a motherboard with your name on it.”

“What?” Daisuke whines. “But it’s literally the weekend!”

He stops by the back of the couch, hands on his hips. “Learning ain’t pause for nobody. Meet me in the Utility Room after you’re done with that round.”

“Ugh, fine.” He sighs, turning back to the screen with much less enthusiasm.

“It can’t be all that bad,” you say, eyes on the screen as you button-mash to no avail.

“Swansea’s super smart but like, it’s impossible to see what he’s doing ‘cause his hands are so big. Then he gets upset when I mess up.”

“Have you tried telling him that?”

He nods earnestly. “I have, I swear! Swansea just doesn’t care.

Daisuke looks like he wants to say more, but he’s stopped by something on your right. You turn away from the game, ignoring your character dying, to see Curly standing there. He looks livid.

“Meet me in the cockpit. Now.”

On your way there, Jimmy bumps shoulders with you, you feel him take the sleeping pills from your uniform pocket, lacking any sort of sleight of hand. Joke’s on him— you swapped them out for Tic-Tacs. Anya’s going to have minty fresh breath.

As you step into the cockpit, Curly starts to unbutton the collar of his uniform, swivelling in his chair to face you.

You pause in the doorway. “Woah, not even gonna say hello first?”

He huffs, exposing the bruise you left on his chest. “What is this?”

You plop down in Jimmy’s chair, propping your feet up on the dash. “I dunno, what is it, Captain?”

He leans back in his seat, running a hand down his face. “I said we had to stop, you didn’t listen—”

“You didn’t listen when Anya came forward about Jimmy.” You shrug.

Curly turns to look at you. “That’s what this is all about? Anya?” He asks warily.

“No,” you lean toward him, over the little partition separating both your chairs, “I think you’re cute.”

He grimaces, doing his uniform back up. “And I think you’re a pain in my side.”

“You don’t like me back, Curly?”

“Captain,” he corrects you.

“Captain,” you bat your eyelashes, “I told you I didn’t want to hurt you. I meant it.” You reach over and put a hand on his thigh. He freezes up. “I just want you to feel good. That’s it.”

He looks away toward the display. His eyes are watering. “You’re just like him.”

That makes you pause. “What?”

“Jimmy. You and him, you’re the same,” he repeats, turning to look at you, his jaw set.

You frown, he can’t be serious. “Him? I’m nothing like him, I would never.” Curly’s just trying to distract you.

You get on your knees in front of him. “Are you trying to tell me that you have a thing for your best friend?” Resting your cheek on his thigh, you run your fingers along his stomach. He’s so warm, he could be your own personal space heater if he let you close enough to snuggle in his lap.

“God,” he sighs, spreading his legs wider. “You don’t give up, do you?”

You shake your head, grinning. You knew he was gonna give in eventually. You’ve always been praised for your resilience, and it’s really paying off. Curly’s cock is heavy in your mouth, weighing down your tongue.

You play with your food, circling the fat head with your tongue before you take it all down your throat. Curly’s hips shift, he knocks the back of your throat and you gag.

Glancing up at Curly, he looks almost conflicted, lips pulled in a thin line as he looks on. You sink deeper down then, his passiveness splits into a moan. That pretty face of ecstasy.

You watch every minute shift in his expression, drooling slick into your panties. Fuck, he’s hot, in the way men shouldn’t be. The top button of his uniform strains against the size of his tits, they’re bigger than yours.

Trailing your mouth down, you run your tongue along the seam of his balls. Curly’s dick rests on your brow bone as you try to fit them in your mouth. Your lips split and your eyes roll back at the taste. He smells like musk and something so Curly that has your thighs rubbing together.

Eventually, you get to your feet, fumbling with the myriad of buttons on your uniform before you seat yourself in his lap. Your cunt’s leaving a wet spot on the fabric, you can’t help it.

Leaning closer, you kiss Curly soft, slow. He lets you do it more than he reciprocates, but every soft movement of his lips has your heart going in your chest.

You pull away, his forehead against yours, and if you close your eyes, you can pretend like this is some form of romantic, because it should be— that’s what you deserve for your hard work.

“Do you like me now, Curly?” You smile shakily, one hand on his shoulder and the other on the base of his cock.

He looks like he’s two seconds away from crying, but at this point he always does. You kiss away his brewing tears. You can be gentle, you could be so good for him. He just needs to see it.

You throw your arms around him and kiss him harder, trying to show your sincerity. Your pussy’s pressed right up against his cock, your heartbeats match.

If he doesn’t understand, you’ll make him.

It’s nighttime when you finally finish up with your work and you’re able to head back to your quarters. On your way you hear noises of a struggle. You stop and peer out from around the corner.

It’s Jimmy. He’s got his hand around Anya’s throat. She’s got two hands on his forearm, trying to pull him off. Then he shoves her back against the wall, her head meets the metal with an ugly clang. Anya goes limp in his grip, sobbing.

As the automatic doors close behind them, the sound abruptly cuts off. Are the quarters sound-proof? You leave with your newfound information.

Daisuke would’ve been so much better for you, you think as you watch him. He’s soldering something, you don’t know what. You’re sitting far enough away to not need goggles. Daisuke’s so simple. Nothing to worry about in his life, bouncing around from this internship to his video games and back again. If you came onto him, he wouldn’t complain.

Curly’s making himself choose between you and authority when he could have both. You’ve never made him choose either. He’s got no one else on this ship that would care for him the way you would, the way you’ve been trying to show him.

He doesn’t get it, you lament, that’s why he said you were like Jimmy. You’re not like him. You’re good. That’s what Anya said. Anya, who got her brain knocked around while you just watched.

It wasn’t any of your business. You did help her. You didn’t let Jimmy get the sleeping pills. Though that might be the reason she was walking funny. Whatever, she probably deserved it. At least she’s staying away from Curly now.

The buzz of the soldering iron stops and Daisuke slides up his protective mask. “Wanna see what I’m working on?”

You nod and get up to look. It’s a tiny metal Polle. The shaping is a little crude, but it’s very impressive.

“How long did that take you?”

He shrugs. “I dunno, like, a couple hours? I make stuff like this when Swansea gives me free time.”

“Maybe you’re better suited for this than engineering.”

Daisuke looks at you. “You think so? My mom wants me to be an engineer.”

“Who cares what she says? Do what you want.”

He blinks for a moment before he nods, resolute. “Okay.”

Heading out of the Utility Room, you see Curly and Anya in the hallway. Curly’s got a hand on either side of her, the illusion of a comforting embrace.

“I’ll fix this, don’t worry.” He whispers, but you hear it all the same.

“Are you cheating on me?!” You exclaim, rushing towards them. You shove Curly away from her and get in between them, he staggers back in confusion.

“I’m not— We’re not—,”

You glance at Anya, pleading your case. “He made me do things. Things I didn’t want to do.” You glare at Curly. “And now what, you’re gonna try it with every girl on the Tulpar?”

“What are you talking about?” Curly asks.

“Don’t play dumb, Captain. Anya, I told you I’d look out for you. I told you that you should’ve stayed away from him, he’s a jerk, he’s—“

“I’m pregnant.” She says, eyes downcast.

You fall silent, blinking at her. “What?” You turn to Curly. “How could you—?”

“It’s Jimmy’s.” He says. “I’m going to talk to him. Again.” Curly leaves, glaring at you over his shoulder.

Something shatters inside you, and you don’t know why. You ignore it, because all you can see is Anya. Anya with a little rape baby growing inside her, Anya with a court case and Anya with money and all you can think about is how goddamn lucky she is.

She sniffles, wiping her nose on her sleeve. Her makeup never runs, despite everything, but her eyes are bloodshot. Tentatively, she hugs you. Your heart stops, confusion and what your body mistakes as guilt running through you.

Anya wraps her arms around herself, staring down at the rusted floors. “We’ve got each other’s backs, right?”

You nod, fighting everything in you that makes your face want to wrinkle with disgust. “Yeah.”

“I have… enough painkillers to…,” she winces, burying her face in her hands. “Please. I want you to tell me not to do it.”

You stare at her for a moment, so long that she meets your eyes again. “What else would I say?”

“I don’t know… you and I, we’re the same, aren’t we?” Anya smiles shakily. “You’ve got Curly and I’ve got Jimmy. You’re okay, right?”

You’re lying to her. You keep lying to her. She’s too airheaded to know the truth. You nod. “Yeah, it really shook me up though.”

“I’ll look out for you too.”

“Thank you.” But inside, you want to laugh. She can’t even protect herself and she wants to help you?

“After what you told me about Curly, it seems like you’re the only person I can trust,” she admits quietly. “I’m grateful you’re here, y’know.”

Your words are lodged in your throat. You can’t say it back.

You’re not sure what exactly to do now. You’ve been informally declared the midwife of Anya’s moneybag, and Curly’s doing everything in his power to put space between you and him. Like he can try. There’s no restraining orders in space.

And there’s no locks on the sleeping quarters.

You dip into his room, the automatic doors opening at your whim. You expect him to be sleeping at this hour, but he’s sitting at his tiny desk, the warm light of the incandescent lamp on his golden features. Curly’s pretty like a sculpture, he barely offers you the generosity of a glance as you walk in.

You sit on his bed, his back to you. “What do you want?” He says, scribbling something in his captain’s log.

You rest your hands on your lap. You’re wearing nothing but a sheer nightdress, no point in underwear when you’re gonna take it off anyways. “I just wanted to talk.”

“You never just want to talk.” It’s an accomplishment, really, that you’ve pushed the kind-hearted captain to this level of bitterness. You’ve been breaking him down—persuading him to see your side of things, and it seems to be working.

He turns to look at you now, and that ever-present filter of exhaustion looks so good on him. “They think I assaulted you.” Curly can’t say rape, it’s kinda cute.

“A girl can dream,” you sigh. “Jimmy’s the real rapist.”

“You don’t think I know that? I’m trying to hold this ship together and you and him just keep fucking things up.” He looks exasperated.

You scowl. You and him, it’s always you and him. “Don’t drag me into this. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

He shakes his head. “You and I, we…,” he cuts himself off, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Curly can’t say it.

Nodding, you say, “we did. I remember you dragging me down to the cockpit and telling me to ‘get on my knees if I want to keep my job.’ That’s not very workplace appropriate, is it, Curly?”

His face pales. “You wouldn’t. That would ruin my life.”

“Anya’s life is ruined now,” you shrug.

“You don’t give a shit about Anya.”

“I don’t.” You get up, walking over to him. Running your fingers through his hair, you cup his cheek. “She’s got a suicide plan ready to go. How about I tell her to go through with it? Put the blame on both your poor leadership and Jimmy’s wandering dick, would you prefer that?”

“What the fuck are you trying to do?” Curly looks up at you, bewildered.

“You. That’s all I want, Curly. You make it so difficult.”

—

You are the hurricane that has blazed through his life. You are what brings out the worst parts in him, what makes him sink into himself and hide. Not Jimmy, not Anya, not Pony Express’s termination. You. It all comes back to you.

Curly thought you were just another Jimmy, he attracts them like a magnet. That’s what he told you, hoping to spark an ounce of self-realization. But you’re something much worse. You don’t hide, you don’t need to. Every fault will end with the blame on his shoulders.

You have made him so many things he never imagined himself being. A rapist? He’s not– he would never hurt someone, especially not a woman. But here he is, his hands balling into fists, rage blurring his thoughts as much as his vision.

Curly gets up out of his chair, he towers over you because he is a man and you are nothing. He is the captain and you are a subordinate who gets off on biting the hand that feeds you. He hates punishment in every form, he much prefers talking, but words don’t work around you.

And this is the thing that finally scares you. Because he knows that you know that no one can hear you in these sound-proof quarters.

Curly tosses you onto his mattress, you yelp and your eyes go wide, you push at his chest but he is more muscle than he isn’t. Under your dress is your leaking chasm of a pussy. Of course, you’re turned on even now, because every wire in your brain is so dutifully crossed.

A hand around your throat is sufficient work for holding you down, your blunt nails drag along the corded muscle of his forearms. You look so small, so negligible.

Maybe Curly understands Jimmy just a little, just enough to not actually be like him. Fortunately for you, the look of fear in your eyes is enough to satiate him. He lets go of you, sitting back on his heels and staring at the mess between your legs. No blood, he wouldn’t do that to you. Jimmy would, and he is so far from Jimmy.

It’s sobering, this feeling, much better than any attempt at therapy. He feels sane, like he’s been given something tangible to latch onto and it’s you, what he can inflict on you.

You’re not crying, but you’re visibly shaken. You drag your knees up to your chest, crowded against the headboard in a sorry attempt to put distance between you and him. You swallow, your eyes never leaving him, as you come to the realization that he could be so much more than you give him credit for.

“Hey, come here.” He pulls you closer because that is the easiest thing to do. It’s Curly who apologizes, Curly who strokes your hair and makes love to you the way you have been begging him to.

Because that is his responsibility.

[hinakina]

The pornbots keep following me. This means that every bot is just a Hide fan. This is just a fact because I said so and everything that I say is just a fact.

You can expect a full research report from me on this subject

I like to think that the 10 pornbots that followed me last week are also big Hide supporters and want to share headcanons with me.

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I'm Sierra. Time for a pinned post refresh.

Otherwise known as CatboyBiologist, or @hi-sierra (my SFW blog [this one is SFW too, but less so]). This page is remaining active, but if you want to find me somewhere else, I use the same username on reddit, Instagram, co-host, and tech.lgbt. This is me:

Trans woman, PhD student in molecular biology, boymoder, shitposter, freediver, hot girl on your phone, hiker, rambler (this post included), tgirl tummy tuesday supplier and enjoyer, former femboy, bane of bioessentialist fuckwads who try to use biology to validate biogotry, flaming bisexual, 196 nanocelebrity… whatever was the first thing that brought you to my blog, I hope it’s enough to get you to stay! I post selfies, hornyposts (minors and people who are averse to that be warned), stuff about the ocean, posts about my growing sense of wanderlust, my adorable lil tortoise, tutorials for transfemmes and GNC people, rambles about science, documentation of my own transition, rambles about transness, rambles about the eroticism of programming a machine to feel arousal, rambles about nature, and random shitposts. Please send me pictures of cute animals in your life!

If you wanna support my science career and my transition, consider dropping a tip here! PhD salaries are notorious for being negotiated to be exactly the cost of living…. And then forgotten about for years as inflation drops that below minimum wage. So I’m always a little strapped for cash. Anything helps!

Links to some of my tutorials and relevant resources under the cut:

I'm tracking my transition, and some people have said they found this helpful! This spreadsheet is generally updated monthly:

Usually, I write a little journal to go with it when it updates- you can find that under the #trans journal on my blog.

If you're interested in checking out some of the things I'm trying to write, here's a post with links to individual stories I'm making:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/741010247774306304/writing-consolidation-post?source=share

My femboy guide, written well before I started HRT, but still has relevant info:

A "boyboob" tutorial, aka how to make it look like you have cleavage in an outfit that looks better with it:

A quick and dirty guide to taking better selfies, with a specific emphasis on people who may have stopped hating their body recently due to transition:

And here's a few of my personal favorite little rambles and posts about my transness, in no particular order:

CW for transphobia on this one:

A massive shoutout to @foldingfittedsheets for this amazing art of the lil borgir holding a trans flag:

I adore this so much <3 if you want to support their art, her commissions are open and really sweet!!!!

And of course, a massive shoutout to @whalesharkcat for this lovely pixel art of my tortoise:

I still love this so much, and will continue to into the future <3

For preHRT selfies, search the femboy tag. For post HRT selfies, use the "trans selfie" tag. I've been on HRT since August of 2023, so I'm still very early in the process! Day to day, I present male, but I plan to change that around the 1 year mark.

I guess that's about it! One final note is that I've been alluding to video/podcast style things for a while now. With my aderrall prescription, I've actually put in a lot of research work that might lead to 1-4 of those, so that might actually happen in the near future! No promises of course, life always catches up to you.

And if you liked my previous pinned post better, here it is:

Anyways, if you read this far, thanks for sticking around and bbyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[evermoredeluxe]

(rant ahead) on a serious note though, i genuinely don’t think any previous partner of taylor’s has been this empathetic towards her regarding the struggles and bullshit she has to deal with because she’s so famous. im not saying they didn’t have any care/empathy, but imo it always came with an air of “her career and fame is such an inconvenience to me!” and hence her feeling the need to quell their worries, but with travis, he’s literally said (paraphrasing over here) how whatever stuff he has had to deal with since being with her doesn’t even compare what she deals with. he so obviously wants her to shine and revel in her success. he knows he’s amazing, but that her light is brighter than anything else and is happy to just be beside her (and help her not be worried about all the bullshit and just be carefree and live life)

[sapphicmsmarvel]

cassian x reader: dating a high maintenance girlie

Hello, if this seems extra its cause it is but this is quite literally my high maintenance routine. This is just one of my favorite parts of life and I love the idea of these big burly men doing skincare with their girls. 

i’m a high maintenance girly bc i like to be. pls this isn’t a pick me bullshit type thing. Im a girls girl yall. 

-This man doesn’t know shit about self care. 

-He knows the basics but like, nothing that would genuinely make him feel comfy in his own skin even more than he already is. 

-He uses 3-in-1. Technically 4-in-1 because face wash is separate formula than body wash but you digress. 

-Y'all know that stereotype of a guy glowing up after getting a girlfriend? You guys were the blueprint for that. 

-You taught him his hair type (2A), his skin type (dry), his preferred scent profile for himself (spicy, woody, aromatic). What his favorite types of care products are, he loves leave-in conditioner, cream cleansers. He’s not a fan of super heavy moisturizers because he’ll get overstimulated.

-These are just things this man has never thought about. 

-When you two leave the house for a Court Duty, you end up doing Cassian's hair. He wants to look nice, for lots of reasons, but especially because he wants to be let back into Summer. He wants to be able to take you on Summer Court dates! 

-He lives for that sliver of time you’re able to squeeze in before going somewhere. You doing his hair, him staring at you in the mirror if you’re behind him. If you’re in front of him, his large hands on your plush hips as you bite your lip in concentration trying to make his wild hair look nice. The feeling of your fingers through his scalp and how even when there’s a knot, you never tug or pull hard enough that it hurts him. You’re gentle and sweet with him even when he thinks he doesn’t deserve it (spoiler: he always deserves it) 

-He loves how high maintenance you are, it helps him remember to take care of himself. 

-You do a little self care sunday reset type of thing. It helps you get ready for the week. 

-He finds these routines utterly fascinating. 

-He begs to watch you do them, not even in the dirty way but it's just so interesting to watch. You also banned him from getting frisky when you do the routines. This was your time, he was welcome to watch but he would step out if you asked because you needed to be alone. 

-Some days, your routines are a bit more intense, such as the monthly waxing for your legs and armpits. Coochie too. 

-He flinches every single time he watches you wax some part of you, especially the coochie. He kind of has an attachment to that part. 

-You do the whole shabang sometimes. Wax legs, armpits, etc. Exfoliating shampoo, regular shampoo, conditioning mask, conditioner. Then the body stuff, exfoliating, shaving any parts you didn’t want to wax, double cleansing your body with antibacterial then the fun scented stuff. Then when you’re out of the bath, face extractions, face wash, whatever else you want to add. And then body creams. Then you’re done. 

-He’s just amazed every single time. 

-He also loves that you make a little thing out of it. You make it fun for you. There's a whole closet filled with different scents, treatments, formulas, etc. 

-You always smell good. There are deodorants shoved in every single bag you own, every room for that matter. Massive perfume, bodycare, candle, anything that makes a room or you smell good, you have it. 

-Even going to bed, you put perfume on.

-He loves that you say “I only wear it for myself Cass, it’s just a bonus that you love it.” Because he knows it’s true. 

-Sometimes he goes in just to sniff around. The fool just stands there and sniffs stuff. You had no idea why he decided to sit in the closet and sniff things in the dark. However, you did know that when you opened the door to see a nearly 7 foot tall clown smelling your beloved collection, you screamed bloody murder. 

So loud Azriel came running with his knives. Cassian just looked at you like “what’s your deal bro?” 

You were trained by two of the most powerful warriors, yet your first reaction was to scream. 

“Why didn’t you try to fight me?” Cassian asked, “I’ve seen you kick someone down for less.” 

“I am in my bathrobe Cassian! You want me swinging my legs around with my flaps out?” 

Azriel chose to leave the room after that. 

-You also always have perfectly manicured nails. And somehow someway you taught your tricks to the Valkyries so now they are able to have beautiful nails while still disemboweling enemies. 

-Great, now he and Az have four she-devils with perfectly manicured nails and glossy hair that can slay their enemies with one swipe. The four of you were feral together. He wouldn’t be surprised if he walked into the camps one day to see some guys dead because they were sexist. 

-You also got him and Az roped into these skincare nights. 

-He loves sitting there with a face mask on and you using one of your crystal rollers rolling it onto his skin. Bougie bitch eats it up. 

-One of your favorite things to do is wear a sheet mask and hide in a closet.  Scares him every single time. 

-Your stuff is everywhere, you’d be damned if you were uncomfy in your own home. After talking to Cassian and Azriel to make sure you weren’t being a shitty roommate, you kind of went crazy. 

-Lip balms in every room, hand creams, candles. Hair ties and claw clips. Fuzzy blankets stashed in every trunk you could find. 

-Rhys made fun of it, but ate his words pretty quickly when Feyre saw the beauty of having lip balms and hair ties/claw clips stashed everywhere. (and he later found the joys of said products and gave you a gift basket as an apology….you didn’t even remember that he judged you because you simply didn’t care).

-Also, the guys live in fucking luxury. The home always smells good, they never have to worry about chapped lips or dry skin. Or pesky hair in the way. Anywhere they want is a blanket or cute pillow to prop their heads up. 

-they were living like animals until you showed up.

-Cassian having a mate is the best thing to ever happen to Az. 

-Feyre, Nesta, Elain, Emerie, Gwyn, Morrigan and even Amren shop your stash of body care if they wanna smell a certain way for a certain fun time (wink). 

-Even Nuala and Cerridwen will approach and ask you. Obviously you say yes. You own so much you’ll never get through everything in time. 

-Plus you’re a Girls Girl. You’re gonna be there for your girls in your life.

-Speaking of the ladies in your life. 

-When you and Cassian have twin baby girls, you were ecstatic. Either way you were going to be happy but you always wanted a girl and now you have two!

-Teaching them how to take care of their skin and hair has been the best for you and Cassian. He loves watching his girls play with their hair. He loves having his hair braided by them. 

-Family self care nights become a Thing (that sometimes an Uncle or Aunt will join).

-He loves you because you taught him how to actually care for himself and his mental health. You showed him how he needs to stop and appreciate the smaller things. That not everything has to be a chore. 

-He loves you more than anything, maintenance and all.

[ropes3amthoughts]

To my homies who encouraged me to get Twitter, thank you so much. There are so many gorgeous Kabrus there and the overall Kabru content is plentiful. Also I just saw this absolutely divine jawdropping enchanting gorgeous stunning beautiful Kabru art and I am in a state of shock. Like look at this holy shit?????? Like click on the link and click on the image and zoom in on the details and stuff this is so incredible. I mean you don’t have to but this is so good and I’m losing my mind and there are so many little details you won’t see unless you zoom in so I recommend it.

For anyone looking quickly this is not my art it belongs to the Twitter user in the link and it’s so good I would recommend looking at it

https://x.com/Neruchiru_08/status/1841319033632862418

I get insane under the cut

It’s been like 4 hours and I cannot stop thinking about it. Every time I stand up I start shaking. I feel nauseous and am coughing constantly. I feel like I am choking. That image will be burned into my brain for a very long time. Why doesn’t Twitter let you reblog with really long comments I need to say a million compliments. My voice is cracking. My heart is hammering. I’m warm and sweaty. Holy shit I am fagging it up bro. It’s beautiful as an art piece because the composition and colors and stuff are absolutely amazing and it’s beautiful if you’re queer (or straight and like Kabru too) because Kabru looks so good. His shoulders are showing and something about Kabru’s shoulders showing makes me insane. Like I thought the whole “you can’t show your shoulders” dress code thing in school was a bunch of dumb bullshit but oh boy I understand now. Every time I see Kabru’s shoulders I think “I want to bite that man” and then I’m all like “WOW who just thought that” but it’s me I’m thinking that I’m going insane over him I want to bite his shoulders he makes me crazy he’s so pretty oh goodness wow oh wow oh wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww IM GOING INSANE a lot more people have seen it now but I need to show this to everyone you guys don’t understand how this makes me feel I’m going to pass away and fall over and cry you guys look pretty Kabru art guys guys it’s Kabru being gorgeous oh my fucking god guys guys I am going to be sick guys oh god guys do you see him he’s so pretty guys guys guys holy shit dude guys. I am an enjoyer of the arts. I enjoy this art. For sure. Wow. Awesome. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. I am going to lose my mind. Ough. Guys. Guys guys guys. Do you????:!: seee????? The Kabru??????? Oh my god. Compliments to the artist. Beautiful. Beautiful lovely fantastic work. Awesome. This is great. I’m losing it. I showed my discord friends and I reblogged on Twitter and stuff but I wanted to show you guys too because I am a big fan of this beautiful Kabru art. I love this insanely much. Kabru fish…I love this creature the Kabru fish. Great 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 chat I am gonna die this is too beautiful Ough beautiful Kabru

I’m being so dramatic you guys but do you understand the power this art has do you understand my feelings I love this art so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Kabru 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Kabru fish 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 gorgeous 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[norizz-nation]

I’m better right? ❤️

Summary: So p1 in Monaco for Daniel was legit everything. But somehow reporters gotta ruin that by comparing him with the “new generation’s star max verstappen” so he brings u to ur shared hotel room to ask u if he’s better or not.

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, daddy kink, choking, light bdsm, blindfolds, handcuffs

You were there with Daniel in Monaco. Rooting for him to ur fullest. And the fact that he won was everything u ever wanted. U were so happy for him. Everything was going amazing. Until the bullshit interviews after race. Asking him stuff like “although u won, max is still improving and is probably better than u. how do u feel about that?”

Questions like that really pissed him off. And u could see that. After the whole evening being with this “max is better than daniel” interviews, he was just pissed. So u went to him and said “forget about them. u were amazing, u dont have to listen to them. i love you.” Daniel look a bit relaxed after u comforted him. “you’re better in every way” u whispered lightly with a smirk tht made Daniel raise his eyebrows. “Oh yeah baby?” “Of course daddy” u could see by the look on his face that those words drove him crazy.

Heading back to ur shared hotel room, daniel told u to sit on the edge of the bed while he went to his luggage and got some stuff out. Whn he came close to u, u noticed that he was holding a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs. Seeing them u looked up at him with doe eyes excited to know whats gonna happen next. “Be a good girl tonight, okay?” U just nodded. U were genuinely wet just by the thought about everything thats gonna happen. He then got u undressed and blindfolded u saying “im gonna show u that im better” u innocently asked “how?” “Oh baby just wait a bit. You’ll see.”

After he handcuffed u to the headboard, u just closed ur eyes and got comfortable. After a while u could feel daniels hands roam all over ur body. Caressing ur cheeks, then squeezing ur neck a little then going slowly down to ur stomach drawing circles. Making ur whole body get goosebumps. Ur started to squirm under him. “Daddy p-please” he then stopped “please what baby? tell me.” “Just touch me daddy, please. Dont tease me like that.” He started to rub ur thighs as he placed himself between ur legs. Licking you pussy lips saying “fuck you’re already that wet for me?” You could just nod. He began circling your pussy and flicking it every now & then. “Ah d-daddy im gonna cum. Please dont s-stop!” He then started pumping ur pussy with his two fingers while sucking ur pussy clean.

You were trying ur best to grab his curly hair and guide him well. After u’ve cum, he came closer to u and kissed ur neck, which was more of a wet kiss. “Stop fighting for it. You know u cant win baby.” He said as he saw u trying to touch him, ur hands were red at this point. You were basically crying for him. You wanted to touch him so bad. “What is it baby? Do u wanna say something?” “I want u to remove my blindfold and remove my handcuffs, i wanna touch u so bad daddy. Please” ur voice was low, and needy for more. He then kissed ur forehead and removed ur handcuffs.

You started to roam ur hands all over his body as if u haven’t touched him for a long while. U started to go more down to his hips. Palming his dick. “Please daddy, just fuck me!” U clearly whined as daniel smirked and kissed u.

He then positioned himself between ur legs as he rubbed his dick on ur clit, making u whine more. You thought that he was gonna be gentle first but he didn’t. He started with a fast pace that made u scream already. Practically making ur legs shake as he didnt stop his motion. Every single thrust was too much for u to handle. “O-oh daddy, you make me f-feel so good, nghh” he then grabbed ur hair and pulled u closer to him as u could feel his breathe in ur face. “Oh yeah? I make u feel good?” You barely managed to say “y-yes d-daddy u do”

He then placed one hand on ur neck choking u hard and the other one right where it was, on ur hair. Pulling it. It seemed like he just wanted to get his frustrations out at this point. All this bullshit reporters pissing him off so fucking much. You kept u eyes closed as ur whole body fell apart under him. “Baby, look at me, come on” you looked up at him with doe eyes. “Tell me im better. Tell me im better than max. Im better right?” You couldn’t say anything because the pleasure was just too much for u. But still u managed to say “of course you’re better daddy. you’re better than any other f1 grids here” “oh yeah?” “y-yes daddy”

His thrusts became sloppier as u felt a familiar euphoric feeling inside ur stomach. “Ahh daddy im sooo gonna cum” “me too baby, me too. cum for me baby, go on” your whole body started to shake uncontrollably as u came for the second time that night. Your body shivering and shaking. Then u immediately sucked his dick clean, leaving no cum there. “Oh look at u. Such a good girl for me” you looked up at him and kissed the tip of his dick while looking straight into his eyes making him groan by that sight.

He then held u close and cuddled with u. “Just dont think about them. You’re literally the most perfect man I’ve ever met daniel. I love you so much” your words made daniel so comforted as he kissed ur head and caressed ur arm. “I dont know how I managed to make u mine. I love you so much baby. I can’t afford to lose you, ever”

A/N: this idea was from one of the most amazing writer on tumblr @idkwhatimdoinghere163 , thank u so much for this idea. I hope I managed to reach ur expectations and you gotta give me some more ideas girl cuz those are amazing! ❤️

[charlott2n]

ok so stranger in a strange land starts off kinda cool its like oooo there’s this weird alien guy and we think he’s from mars! but he looks human but he doesn’t understand human language or customs at all he comes from an utterly different culture. so the parts where he’s talking about peaceful communal martian culture and free love etc are really interesting and cool! especially contrasted with (american) earth culture’s individualism and strict sexual morals and capitalism.

and then you get like halfway through and realise the book actually exists so heinlein can write diatribes spoken by his self-insert character who saves our martian man (mike) and jill and the others and gets to pontificate for pages on pages on pages about his big rich house and ideas on religion and society that are like. so obviously just heinlein’s own in the world’s most obnoxious way because the narrative just lavishes adoration and attention on this rando self-insert that doesn’t show up until a third(?) into the book and he just knows everrryyything and is so rich and intelligent and calm and able to handle everything he’s sooooo perfect.

and then the book becomes unbearably misogynistic and homophobic. like mike the martian starts what’s basically a cult around his martian ideals (which i don’t necessary disagree with — some/most of his ideals around community and sex are cool) but heinlein has to say like every other page that ohhh yeah sure we’re all having crazy polyamorous sex all the time and living together in harmony BUT NO GAY PPL. NO HOMOS BTW. ok maybe two women if a man is into it but no homosexuals that’s disgusting and unnatural. anyway lets have more straight sex and talk about how women are biologically inferior and it’s their fault they get sexually assaulted and also did you know heinlein’s self-insert character is so beloved and cool and amazing and has great opinions like how all religion is stupid bullshit and r/atheism is the most based sub ever.

there’s probably stuff im forgetting bc i hated it so much but i was just reminded abt it. thanks for listening

fuuuuuck that sucks ass. ill stay away. thank you for your review 😁

[parasiticacidic]

A NonBinary Visor I made at work for Pride!

I work at a leather shop and we get to make special projects for the store so I really wanted to make this enby one specifically because even though leatherworking is very lgbtqia+ friendly you also have the other end of the spectrum being conservatives who make their disgusting opinions very evident whenever they come into the store so to deter those interactions I've been trying to make more pride items for our really amazing lgbtqia+ community along for us staff members :3 idk why people look at me with red hair square pink glasses while I'm wearing capris and think lemme "debate" them on people using they/them pronouns >:[ BABE GET A GRIP!

(Also the amount of disrespect and hate I get for just being/presenting as a young women working at this store is insane)(so I know it's just as hard if not harder for the other lgbtqia+ workers in our chain putting up with bullshit customers will say to us)

(Example of an interaction i had: I was just tending the register when someone comes up with his wife and son and the first thing he said was "Do you work here" and I'm like obvi ? Then he said "No, do you work here work here like do you actually know anything about this stuff" and I was like "I do this is my name badge" (also I was trained?? Extensively bc we also do leather classes so I need to understand and know different things) and then he was like "well I'm just wondering bc I have a question, is there actually a difference between leather paint and acrylic paint" I said "yes they are formulated differently but if you wanna know specifics read the ingredients on the label" like tf I'm not gonna be nice all for that build up of your question like I'm not qualified to answer just for it to be about paint (I'm also a painting major?!) bc if it was my male co worker working the register you wouldn't have lead with "do you work here" you would've just asked, like NO IM JUST STANDING BEHIND THE REGISTER BC I WONDERED IN OFF THE STREET uuuguggjrhrhrhrhr, also his wife and son just watching this interaction??? There's so much that could be said about that but whatever my beef is with him, like it's not a big deal but it's the way men feel like they can come up to me and immediately question my credibility working here) *steps off my soapbox*

Anyways (ToT) happy pride! The amount of ridicule we face in the work place is beyond disrespectful they don't even need to know anything about you they just size you up and immediately come to their own conclusions about you and treat you a subhuman when they are the actual animals, in the end we have a better understanding of ourselves, humanity, honesty, and bravery when they will never be able to escape from the cage society has put their minds in (which ultimately is sad for them but if you're a conscious being there's moments in your life when you can reflect on your self and the environment around you and find your truth instead of continuing to "play your part" but the animals that benefit from the system will never seek change and will hate on the ones who defy their "normal" always out of fear)

[raisedbythetv89]

I don’t understand how people can actually hate season 1 of Buffy unless they just hate fun and like jw has claimed “loves seeing buffy suffer” and be blamed and punished for everything???? It’s so nostalgic and camp and queer coded what do you mean you don’t like it????

The puppet show is comedic genius and I’ll say that shit with my whole chest - they’re dealing with an unknown demon killing children and Giles who is always chastising Buffy for focusing too much on things outside of slaying is like “THE SHOW! ITS ABOUT TO START!” 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

Buffy has beef with a puppet for 3/4ths of the episode that is so Spike of her and EXTREMELY FUNNY to me to have the slayer who decapitates vampires with tiny X-Acto knives and knowingly walks to her death majorly creeped out by a dummy 😹😹😹😭😭

Buffy whining in tandem with the tuba playing on the stage as a background sound track to her sinking mood after Synder forces the scoobies to participate in the talent show

The curtain opening to Buffy cradling the dead dummy and a dead demon on stage and Synder in the audience goes “I don’t get it - is it avant-garde?”

THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME

And Buffy is just in top form for me. Realizing Amy is in her mom’s body even on the verge of death. Seeing the way Cordy treats Willow and immediately finding a reason to align herself with Willow instead despite it being a new school and she is still struggling with not fitting into her old, pre-slayer life. Helping Billy face his fears in his nightmare while overcoming her own of becoming a vampire and really owning her slayerness in a way we haven’t seen before there’s a lot of scary things in the world “AND IM ONE OF THEM”

LIKE YES GIRL YOU ARE TINY AND SCARY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OWN THAT SHIT. The whole bit where Angel is like BEWARE CLAW VAMP SO DANGEROUS WATCH OUT BE CAREFUL - and she’s like right…… I’m gonna use him as my own personal bloodhound to find the REAL monster. I EAT THAT SHIT RIGHT UP ITS AMAZING. It’s also when Buffy is blamed and suffering the least it’s such a nice break for the entire rest of the series that sometimes I just desperately need.

I LOVE that a show that gives us such deeply emotional moments and captures depression perfectly in season 6 can also be so silly and camp with genuine human emotion and connection underlying it because of the core of very talented and dedicated actors

AND THIS IS COMING FROM A DIEHARD SPUFFY. My man isn’t even there yet and Angel with his useless cryptic creepy bullshit is annoying me to no end AND I STILL LOVE IT

I know there’s tons of technical and quality stuff that gets better as the seasons go on but that’s part of the charm for me.

So anyway leave season 1 alone, she’s my girl and I love her.

[the-s1lly-corner]

OMG BRUH I saw that you wrote for Tdac and I COULD ABSOLUTELY NOT pass up the opportunity to add my lil request in especially after I saw that it was open so (btw absolutely love your writing skills😭)

AND BRO BRO HEAR ME OUT.. imagine a Jax and Zooble (separate) x Kitsune! Reader? Literally cannot get this idea outta my head…

AND BRO better yet if reader is more like a playful and mischievous kitsune.. BUT ITS ALL UP TO YA BOOKIE‼️

Anyway have a AMAZING DAYYY!!

Jax and Zooble x kitsune!reader !

finally the random post i saw the other night dropping basic lore on Japanese myths is finally paying off!!!! also side note i keep forgetting im allergic to honey this is bullshit!! theres so many baking things i wanna try with honey but i cant bc it makes my throat all swollen

ZOOBLE:

honestly these two are on the same side of a spectrum, just at differing intensities... youll see what i mean when i get to jax's part in a moment. zooble doesnt mind your mischievous nature all that much so long as its not directed towards them; they dont really have the patience for such stuff and that probably wont change with you... at least not to fully overlook some of your antics.. though they sometimes offer a dull chuckle when you mess with a certain rabbit.... it is simply karma, theyre allowed to laugh! i think they would like your tails, good for when you two snuggle up to one another.. oh hey look, your ears twitch when you're irritated, just like zoobles antennae!

JAX:

jax is the same as zooble in regard to the whole; thinking its funny when you mess with other people but the second hes the one being messed with he sees an issue with it... though with zooble its more so because they get to see jax finally get what he deserves, jax just likes 'seeing funny things happen to people' or whatever it was that he said. honestly you two just bounce off each other and keep pushing one another to be more of a menace to the other circus members; honestly you guys probably get really creative with it. so creative, i cannot comprehend any ideas to put here, but we can sure imagine!

everyone say it with me, its out favorite jax hc!!!!!! THAT BOY IS GONNA FIDGET AND PET YOUR TAILS AND PROBABLY YOUR FOX EARS TOO!!!!!! kitsune reader will not escape the jax fidget propaganda!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!📢📢📢📢📢📢

[omg-i-killed-kenny]

Recreating my intro post, here we go...

🌟!!Read before you interact!!🌟

Please DO NOT reblog this post I beg of you, unless you are a Mutual trying to spread this out to other ppl to find my blog. If you have this reblogged WITH PERMISSION and it has been UPDATED. Please delete the reblog and reblog the newer version! Thank you! :)

I loik misteareon, kemny, kayl, curtain, and uh... I like... I like oink he is kewl. But also I like shley. O Im dum I alsu loik bubbers.

(please read)

(last updated: January/7/2025)

Greetings mortals, I'm Kyle (or any other names you wanna call me as long as it's not offensive). I came onto Tumblr to post my art and random aus and stuff I do.

❗WARNING❗

I am a south parkie so there might be suggestive or adult content here, I CAN promise that there WILL NOT be anything truly explicit here.

First before you continue plz reed my niknams 4 da sowth park charactrs

~About me~

My favorite character of all time is Kyle from south park. (Also butters 🤗)

I'm trans aroace and pansexual +panromantic (I only really crush of fictional characters or people I'll never have a chance with)

Pronouns are he/him

-South park fan (so I might post suggestive or adult content but NEVER too explicit)

-I have WAYYYYYYYYYY too many mutuals (about 50 or something, srs not j!) /pos

-I'm always down for a chat, hit me up! 😉

-I'm a very kind person, so I don't mind you venting to me.

-I'm not very sensitive to anything really.

-too many fandoms I'm into! Lol

-i do make some dirty jokes but it won't be often, like I said though; this blog is SFW!!!

-MINOR so please be patient with me, I have school! (I'm under 15)

-I have diagnosed ADHD, autism and ✨schizophrenia��� :D 👍

-I joined Tumblr at may something 2024!

-i'm a young artist and writer taking art classes!

-dating someone already (taken)

-i beat up a teenager with an umbrella /srs

-i'm tone-deaf when reading so please use tonetags!

-if there's something wrong with me there is obviously something wrong with you because buddy, your wasting your time and breath saying things that aren't true.

-I do curse

-i don't want anybody talking shit about me or threatening me because that has happened before. I don't need any bullshit or drama from the place I come to post my art and relax.

-I like using acronyms and emoticons/emojis :P

-I like being decorative!

-I have pupaphobia which is the fear of puppets!

-i am ALMOST 14!!!!

-my favorite south park shitz are basically all of them except for Stan, nobody likes Stan 💀💀💀💀💀

- I like listening to (really loud) fnf songs! Mostly the new child's play from fnf: pibby: apocalypse or south park: destroyed past! (Both pibby mods, teehee)

- I actually really Fucking hate the ship style. I find them more like brothers than anything. Even though I haven't actually sat down and watched the show for once, but If you're a style shipper we're cool, but if you talk about it to me we're not cool. (WHY IS IT EVEN CANON?!? 😭😭😭)

-I AM NOT ALWAYS ONLINE DUE TO HAVING ABOUT AN HOUR OR MORE A DAY SO PLEASE DO NOT SPAM/SEND THE SAME ASK MORE THAN ONCE

-if you try to start shit with me your bad actions/words will be used against you and shared to the public. My mutuals will see.

Apparently I do not have DNI but just please be nice is all I'm asking.

⭐Fandoms⭐ (not entirely in order)

1. South Park ❄️(I've only seen 2 episodes and a few scenes though, that is my main fandom)

2. Gravity Falls❔

3. Sprunki 🎵

4. Learning with Pibby ◼️

5. Adventure Time 🗡️

6. TAWoG/the amazing world of gumball 🐱

7. Rusty Lake 🚣‍♂️ (horror game series)

8. Undertale 💀

9. Bendy and The Ink Machine 🔏

10. Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss/Zoophobia 😈 (do not support the creator)

11. Resident Evil 🧟

12. Spooky month 🎃

13. Sonic The Hedgehog 🦔 (very low on this one though)

14. The amazing digital circus 🎪

15. Regular show 🤷

16. Amanda the adventurer 📺

17. Sam and max 🐕🐇 (not much)

18. Friday night funkin (not in the lore etc)

19. FNaF/five nights at Freddy's 🐻

20. TSaMS/the sun and moon show ☀️🌓 (not much)

21. Minecraft (don't know the lore, I just play it)

22. Dandy's world 🌼 (not much)

23. Alan Becker = those stick figure animations and stuff

24. Happy tree friends/htf (never actually sat down and watched through the series, though it's funny. I like gory shit)

25. Hellpark 👿(never read it, but I know it's pretty good)

26. Bunny Maloney 🐇 (not entirely interested but I can talk about it)

I might possibly add more

Commission rules

They are no longer free! But I will do art trades for free!

If you want to buy a commission plz pay me on CashApp (WebstarEnt)

Sideblogs :3

@elyketaruccayllacilbib -- which is some random sideblog I have for literally no reason I guess... Used for posting doodles.

@alex-ventz -- vent blog, mutuals only (which means if I'm following you and you're following me)

@landon-almerandez -- south park oc blog

@kennymccormick-rp-blog -- Kenny blog

@boyofbutter -- butters blog

@adventuretimerulez -- re-blog for Adventure time

@arianaa-lion-blog -- sprunki oc blog

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✨STENNY✨

KYAL MA BOI 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

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Again, do not reblog this post unless I allow you too.

[onyourowndaisymae]

would i follow these obey me characters on social media? + social media headcanons

explanations + hcs below the cut:

content warnings: playful mentions of cyberbullying/death threats (reader's discretion advised)

post notifications on, loyal mutuals for life: thirteen, barbatos, mammon, satan

you cannot convince me thirteen does not have the funniest fucking twitter imaginable. she posts a lot of funny shit herself but also retweets a lot of good content too. she seems like the type to get in fights on social media and win by humiliating her opponent in the funniest way possible. probably makes a lot of jokes about fucking one or both of your parents

the barbatos one might be controversial but hear me out. i think that any account he'd run in association to his work would be dry as hell. but a personal, deeply private account? funny as FUCK. i think this man wouldn't post very often but when he does, it is quite literally some of the funniest shit you've ever seen. he's ancient, too, so i think he'd be persistent. just years of logging on to tell elon musk to k*ll himself (whiCH I AM NOT ENDORSING @ THE GOV IM JUST MAKING A JOKE OKAY WE'RE ALL LAUGHING HERE) in new and creative ways

mammon would probably post a lot about his shenanigans and that to me is worth tuning in to. i think his social media would consist of him posting about a new scheme/plan part of the way through (when things are most exciting) and then updating hours/days later with an "update: lucifer caught me and made me wear a dunce hat for a week straight" or something like that

satan would post the most normally in this category but i think he'd have some genuinely interesting stuff. he'd probably use a photo-based platform like instagram (technically devilgram but y'know what i mean) and his content would fall into two categories: cat pics and the most amazing, exclusive events you've ever seen. he'll post a photo dump of cats he feeds one week and then next is him at some gorgeous exclusive hot springs on a free trip one of his connections invited him on.

mutuals by choice <3: asmo, simeon, luke, levi

asmo posts a lot about himself, but like. c'mon. he's so pretty. and he also just posts a lot of pretty aesthetic influencer photos so it's nice to see him on your feed. he posts a lot, too, so your feed never quite runs dry when he's your mutual. he's also the type to hype your photos up in the comments like you're the only other person on the platform. lots of heart emojis and flirtatious comments on very mundane posts

simeon would be fun to follow in the way that old people are fun to follow on social media. long, sweet captions on his weekly post (that someone helped him post), cute but off-center selfies with the things he cares about, funny grandpa comments on your photos-- ex. "nice photo mc... 👍" without realizing how funny that comes off

luke is just cute and posts cute things. lots of stray animals, pretty sunsets, and cute baked goods. he's even got a few rare photos of barbatos on there looking slightly relaxed. levi made luke's accounts private when he first set them up bc he's been on too many weird corners of the internet to let that innocent angel be corrupted.

speaking of levi, he'd post a LOT about his dorky (affectionate) interests. he's one of the few that would post every day on multiple platforms. there's a pretty small chance you care about each and every thing he posts but regardless, it's nice to see him so enthused and happy.

mutuals bc i'd feel bad unfollowing: belphie, lucifer, diavolo, mephisto

belphie's accounts have all been inactive for YEARS, but if you unfollow him he does get offended. he found out asmo unfollowed him at some point and started an argument about it.

lucifer's social media is also rarely active, but anything he posts is usually at least a little important, so if you unfollow he'll know and get on you about missing it.

diavolo's account is quite literally all royal bullshit and official devildom information, but seeing as he doesn't have personal social media, he still values his friends following him. if you unfollow, his feelings will be hurt, but he'll stay quiet about it.

mephisto's account literally just posts the same lame shit that the RAD newspaper account does, word-for-word and post-for-post. unfollowing either of these accounts comes off as a slight from the feeble human that doesn't care about the devildom. his complaining is always so loud.

not following + no plans to follow: beel, raphael

beel posts exclusively about food. he doesn't run a food-themed account, that's literally all he finds interesting enough to post. he rates all of his meals after he finishes, too. fun, but not my type of content.

something in my heart of hearts tells me raphael's photos are all blurry. like he just thinks his D.D.D. camera is bad when really he won't focus the damn camera before taking a pic.

blocked, reported, cyberbullied for good measure: solomon

i KNOW this man is a menace on social media. he probably eggs on conspiracy theorists and purposely spreads misinformation. it's funny at first until following him starts filling your feed with the crazy bullshit he likes/retweets. he is playing devil's advocate on social media for the dumbest, most argumentative people online bc he thinks it's funny and it's quite literally going to drive you insane if you don't block him. when he's causing problems, he's posting stupid shit. he'd be the type to unironically post the "saw a snail today. effervescent" shit