#im always saying it but i really should reread my own fics more often this is so fun
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i spent like half of today rereading my enstars bigbang fic from the start and honestly im having the time of my life
#mostly doing it as a last revision to make some minor edits if necessary and make sure everythings good#but omg im enjoying this reread a lot now that the fic is completely finished#like the first chapters i wrote them months ago so aldjsksk#really proud of how it came out tbh#im always saying it but i really should reread my own fics more often this is so fun
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rereading snape's worst memory:
severus is writing A LOT more than the other students around him, so like. he probably does try super hard in all his exams, but defence is clearly one of his favourites i think from this. like he's writing super small and still filling out a lot of the parchment, so he's got a lot to say about the subject, plus he's writing like really fast without stopping
if james is only a short distance away from severus and sirius is in the same row as james, does this mean exam tables aren't set up in alphabetical order? people just sit where they want or something? weird
james' hair is described as messy like 5 times by harry. i don't think we focus on that enough.
girl, pay attention to your exam. we get he's hot, but damn
remus, you're good at dada, stop worrying sm about it. u got this mate
peter having exam anxiety is soooo canon i swear. also i'm giggling at him trying to cheat
doodler!james >>>> also harry not clocking his own mum's initals is kinda sad
ooh guys, should i make stebbins (he's a guy who doesn't put down his quill and continues writing after the exam finishes so flitwick calls him out) florence's boyfriend?? should i actually give 'boyfriend' a name???
honestly, other than the weird seating plan, this is so accurate to gsce exams. like turning around just to do a face or hand gesture to your friend a few seats away when the teacher's not looking? someone always writing after they tell you to stop? laughing at the teacher? waiting for your friends to discuss the paper straight away? its so real
these guys are incapable of being serious. they are all so fucking sarcastic. i love it.
why's severus still enthralled in his exam for???? it's over mate, go fucking relax
unrequited prongstail is real (also james' nicking a snitch?? he's such a weirdo)
severus!! harry literally was describing you as super pale and like you never go in the sunlight.. and then you go and sit in the shade?? it's early summer in scotland, it's not gonna be that fucking hot.
poly marauders are canon? (they were just described as being a foursome)
handsome just keeps getting added to any description of sirius. might start doing this in my fics /j
this is making me realise how canonly accurate the personalities of the marauders are in my fic (i'm only cryptic and machiavellian), and i love that for me
yeah unrequited prongstail is def canon omfg.
"sirius was the only person for whom james would stop showing off". james doesn't need to show off for sirius, because he knows sirius will always be there for him and give him attention anyway aww
remus and james both trying to think up solutions as soon as sirius says he's bored?? i'm giggling.
peter must have been sooo dissapointed that sirius and james stopped hexing people as often... his fav entertainment. gone.
okay i swear i've read this like loads of times before but i never actually realised sirius 'barking with laughter' was how he canonly laughs, i always just write that to be funny, i didn't know it was canon
james constantly looking over at the girls by the lake. like mate, she didn't notice or care about you throwing a snitch in the air but i don't think bullying her friend is any better. like yeah it gets her attention but is that really the kind of attention you want?? oh, you'll take any attention you can get from her? okay, right, fine
peter edging... IM SORRY
"i was watching him" OKAY,, snirius enjoyers are eating today
*smugly grinning* i KNEW james' hair fidgeting thing was an anxious/nervous habit I TOLD YOU ALL
lily's hair is dark red!!! just in case anyone forgot!!
i love remus. disagree with your friend's actions? don't worry! u can always just pretend you're so enthralled in your book you don't even notice what they're doing! just look the other way and you're totally absolving yourself and your friends from any guilt!
i feel like james asked lily out only once before this. like in fourth year of maybe just a couple months before this, and like in a proper fairly private, giving her flowers, asking timidly (well as timid as he can be), and she responded in a fairly similar way to here. so james asking here, is like trying to resolve his own feelings of embarassment about the rejection ig?
lily smiling!!!! oh she's such a cunt i love her (ofc james and sirius are bigger cunts ofc!!!) like girl that's your damn friend getting 'pantsed'. although ig like. it was kinda a norm thing to like do it TO your own friends soo hmm. (btw i put 'pantsed' in brackets since it's not pantsing, like. the point is that severus isn't wearing pants, he's wearing robes. it's robesing...)
sirius and james are too wuss to duel lily <333 cause she'd thrash them <333 (they totally duelled her before and got their arses kicked)
oh severus... u suck so bad... just cause she found you getting robesed funny doesn't mean u should go call her slurs wtf man
go off lily okayyy. her insults/jokes hit harder than all of sirius' ngl (ily sirius you're still funny and got good insults i swear!!)
okay personally lily, i don't think someone who shows off and hexes people who annoy him (which is. maybe just in my opinion) majoritively people who are bigoted/do dark magic, and then someone who calls their supposed best friend a slur in front of like half their peers are as bad as each other...
^also james!! omg mate she noticed you showing off with your snitch and messing your hair up!!! (also furthering my proof that he does it as a nervous act cause he's all nervous around her so does it more often and she just thinks he's showing off)
sirius, now is not the time for your brutal honestly. like that's so real of you and i suffer from the same infliction but still..
#marauders era#marauders#not sure what to tag hmm#snape's worst memory#james potter#sirius black#peter pettigrew#remus lupin#lily evans#won't tag snape in case i get hate for this (even tho i kinda ish stuck up for him a bit sometimes. maybe?
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hii!!!
i just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your writing!!
the past month has been really really rough for me and the only thing thats gotten me through is reading your work.... i ummm might actually have read through every single work you have on ao3 😅 the way you write is just incredible, i love the personal touch added to everything you write.
its funny because i think you truly excel at writing novels with detailed lore and backstories but my favourites are the cute domestic ones where theyre just neighbours or roommates or whatever. the way you write apartment living is so obviously drawn for your own real perspective in the best way possible and feels so real that i couldnt help but constantly agree with everything you were saying.
your dialog is so natural and fluid i often forget im reading tbh and you never write perfect people, theyre always realistic and fucked up and flawed and amazing. i always believe the world you write around them, and i constantly found myself at the edge of my seat at 5am desperate to know how the fuck they would fix everything.
i appreciate that you take the time to add the trigger warnings in the notes of each chapter, i always felt like i was prepared for what was ahead, or if something was too heavy before going in so i could walk away or go to sleep until i was slightly more ready.
i have maybe accidentally left a few essays in the comments of some of your fics already but i just wanted to let you know at the end of my journey (for now until you write more because frankly im obsessed and will probs go reread something after this just to fill the void) how much your writing has meant to me <3 thank you so much i cant imagine the amount of time, effort and love goes into writing so many full-length novels for free in such a short time span <3
Hello Anon!
I’m really sorry to hear you’ve been going through a hard time lately, I hope that things have improved since you sent in this message ❤ And if you were able to find an escape even for a few minutes in any of my fics, I’m really glad I was able to help you, even if just a little bit 💕💕
Thank you so much for your kind words ;~; I’m so glad that you enjoyed both the lore-based fics as well as the slice-of-life fics XD And that’s good that it’s realistic enough to obviously stem from real life haha. I’ll be honest some things are fading from memory though (I legit cannot remember how periods in school work, but like, I don’t feel like I should have forgotten that??? I think I just purged school from memory because it was awful HAHA)
And thank youuuuuu!! I have so much fun with dialogue orz I try sometimes not to write too much of it because I know I write it a lot but it’s just really fun to me XD And everyone’s got flaws, no matter how perfect we all think we are pfft ;)
I find sometimes something needs to be warned about without being a legit tag, so the end note warnings are the easiest way I found to do that, especially in situations where it’s a spoiler. That way people can read safely without worrying about being triggered because I’m defo not about that |D
You are seriously so sweet, thank you so much ;~; I’m seriously so glad you enjoyed my stuff and I hope that you keep finding things to enjoy in the fandom as a whole because it’s a fun one :3 Thank you so much for the lovely message, and for any essays you left me on Ao3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
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moon! a writing genius, a modern phenomenon, a light of my life!
it was so cold yesterday and im the monster who needs fresh air and who keeps her window open. ur fic single-handedly kept me warm (and was my cure for hungover during today’s rereading. but it’s kinda. unrelated.).
i looove oblivious will! i’ve always wondered what excuse for mike’s behavior he would found be this time. is he holding my hand? probably because im freezing. is he hugging me too long and too tight we’re best friends, and he misses me for the two hours we haven’t seen each other. is he kissing me on the mouth? he’s just a european.
““Do you come here often?”” such a bad flirting line 😭😭😭 mike should be happy that will likes him.
“There are two bags of cat food sitting underneath their shelf of garden tools. They have never owned a cat.” this is so my grandma coded. i love her but does she really need these 3 rugs that no one’s roll out in years?
“all Will can think about is the brush of Mike’s leather jacket against his bare arm.” good thing will can resist shivers.
“Her eyes remain on Will for a second longer, before she looks away.” max is giving him ikwya look but will is too busy to find excuses for mike’s behavior to notices 😔
““Is that mine?” “Goodnight,” El evasively replies instead, and promptly makes her exit.” she is so 🫶🏻 i love el so much she’s so squishble ♥️♥️♥️
4 “hello” and 3 “okay” guys 😭😭😭
“And, for a brief moment, Will imagines that Mike had been thinking of him, too.” this reminded me of “I hope you'll forgive me for the nights that I'll be fantasizing, hoping that you're thinking 'bout me too” from demi lovato song. it doesn’t fit the vibe of the work. just this particular line.
“he doesn’t hate dances, he only prefers staying at home and doing practically anything else” he’s so real for this 🙏🏻
okay mike. if el wants slushie it’s december, but if will wants ice-cream u’ll pay for it. seems a little two-faced.
““my mom raised a gentleman.”” he’s so cute when he’s trying to woo someone
“he feels the ridges of Mike’s fingertip brush against his lips” it’ll never stops giving me butterflies ♥️
sorry dustin, but lucas is right. “shrek 2” Is better.
“He’s momentarily forgotten everything ever in his life.” LMFAOOO
““It’s a good side to be on.”” i can’t vouch for the rest, but in this dispute, definitely yes
“And that – that makes sense. It makes much more sense than Mike asking him out.” will Wake up 😭😭😭
“That is to say, with Will being friendly enough and expressing no interest in any women whatsoever, it seems to have the opposite effect on attracting them” will who attracts girls is so real and canon.
“He looks – almost mean, scowling like that with his arms crossed, standing a little taller and looking like a shadow beside Will.” poor maria was anxious before but now she’s probably scared af
““She just asked you out to the dance, and you guess she likes you?” “I didn’t want to assume!”” he doesn’t even know that he’s popular among girls 😭😭
“he refuses to think about my date on the drive home.
It’s haunting him.” bc u need to stop find excuses!!!
“Mike is hard not to think of, a notion only emphasized when he seems to haunt every corner of Will’s mind.” this is sososo beautiful. im not gonna say im the biggest fan of ur writing but i think i might be close!!
“Maybe he’s finally going delusional” ohhhh c’mon!! u mentioned electricity urself. a couple of times!!
““Wait, hold on. Why are you looking?”” yeah dustin. explain urself.
“using his left hand to poke at the school’s lasagna, and his right hand curled around Will’s” that might be so uncomfortable. the boy down bad 😭😭😭
“Will wants to lean over and smother him in kisses, wants to press a kiss onto Mike’s hand in his, wants to grab Mike by the shoulders and shake him and beg, What does this mean?, wants to pick the orange up and shove the entire thing in his mouth in one go, wants to bite Mike all over, wants to hug him and never let go, wants to do everything, anything.” me 2 u when u post new fic. or in general. who knows? 😚
“something else lingering underneath his skin, and it makes him feel nervous, antsy, makes his stomach feel twisted over and under” [whisper] ✨electricity✨
““It was his idea,” Max plainly states, but Lucas wraps an arm around her waist, and she doesn’t move away” i love them 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
“Dustin chatting with some guy that looks an awful lot like Jake Fischer, and Will files it away to make fun of him later.” seems like dustin has a type
“Will knows he isn’t imagining it” FINALLY 🥳🥳🥳
““You – you didn’t know?”” maybe u both should learn to use ur mouth to talk
““you said – as friends.”” fun fact will actually gaslighted himself to think so. mike never mentioned going as friends
“had given him half his orange and half his heart” i love that line 🥺♥️
“wrapping a hand around Mike’s sapphire-striped tie, and pulls him in for a kiss.” HE PULLED HIM IN A KISS BY A TIE 😭😭😭
“Will feels so warm, so summery in the dead of December, and he supposes that’s how it always is when he’s with Mike.” my boys in love 😭😭😭
““Joining our friends,” Mike lists, but his eyes betray him when they glance at Will’s mouth” i hope they made out the whole dances
“This time, when they kiss, Will’s mind is entirely blank” that what he deserves!!!
u r sorry again even though u have nothing to apologize for. u r great, this fic is great, everything u do is great!! please don’t Ever second-guess yourself!!!
love u. have a nice day 🤍🤍🤍
alya my sweet danish treat . the amount of time i spent staring at this ask This is the size of my philosophy essays probably !!! oh my god
i hope u had fun with ur friends (altho im answering this a long while after) and that ur hangover wasn't too bad ! also oh my god ur windows open in the midst of winter ?? i can't even blame u sometimes my fan is just not enough !!!!
will is just like me fr i am doing mental gymnastics to find a reason for everything, altho im probably the touchiest and overly friendly person alive 🥴 im a big fan of oblivious will personally, he is so smart but Willfully stupid when it comes to mike <3
HELELEP 😭😭 mike sucks at flirting it's a truth what can i say !!!
iam also a little bit of a hoarder i love keeping everything 😭 ur grandma is so real
ENOGUGUH WITH THE SHIVERS 😭 WHEN WILL U LET ME LIVEEEE
ikwya look 😭 HEEELPE
el my squishmallow 🫶
byler are loser4loser ok its not my fault they're loserish 😕
omg u and ur demi lovato liking .. maybe i will have to check out her songs .....
SHREK 2 IS BETTER UR RIGHT !!!!!! U GET MEEEE
"will Wake up" 😭 LMAMAOOOOAO
will byers hawkins heartthrob REAL
im letting u and haven bookinit figure out who's the biggest fan of my writing . i am Not getting involved in that dispute
mike wheeler would start using his nondominant hand to hold will's hand its so true and real i see it so clear
gna post Every day until u give in ! 😚
will my little gaslighter 🌟🌟 he is a little crazy and delusional but u know what they say . Crazy Together 🙂
YAYEY I LOVEEE KISSES where they pull them in by the tie !!!! one of my favorite kiss tropes omg
☹️ ur always so nice to me !!!!!! ihope none of my fics ever disappoint u, love u alya !!! 🤍🤍🤍
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hi hi !!!! i see u rbings fics a lot and i just wanted to ask.. what are some of ur all time faves ?? im so curious :o
hi darling!! thank you for being interested and asking :) i have so many faves, gosh this is gonna be so hard.
I don’t think any of these have smut except for the first one but you can skip it.
(not ranked in any specific order, i'm just picking from my lists)
Lights, Camera, F*ck You by @neocitybynight : haechan
I think they deactivated or changed urls so you can't find this one anymore :( My favourite thing about this one is the way the story unraveled. It never felt rushed and the writer had a gift for showing rather than telling.
die for you by @fullsunalicia : chenle
oh my, i reread this fic so often. i love greek mythology aus and this one was just so beautifully written. i remember being awestruck when i finished it.
one summer's day by @bumblebeenct : chenle
spirited away au. it was an adventure i wish i could experience for the first time again.
sun & moon by @lysyuta : chenle
social media, vampire au. there was a point in time where the only excitement in my life was waiting for a new update.
into the forest of fireflies' light by @sundaysundaes : taeyong
based off the eanime hotarubi no mori e. so yeah. absolutely heartbreaking but i love breaking my own heart.
black parade by @nctream : jisung
all her fics are to die for. and i really do feel like a piece of me died with this one </3
il ritratto di prometeo by @nctream : jeno
GOSH. This is one of my absolute all time faves. I would cut off all my fingers to be able to read this absolute masterpiece again for the first time.
blue by @byutafy : jaemin
i could tell from the description it was going to break me but I read it anyway. it hurt so much but yk, the writing was so exquisite i didn’t care.
what do you desire? by @jaeminzie : jaemin
I’m a sucker for hogwarts aus and slytherin jaemin. i also love the bits of humour in between, it definitely made me laugh more than i should have.
runaway by @astroboy-lele : jaemin
what I would do to live this fic out irl.
sweeter than honey by @luvdsc : jisung
this is THE jisung fic. it is a staple, a classic. everything about it is immaculate and if you haven’t read it, i believe you’re missing out.
8 letters by @xiaodejunletsact : jisung
Another jisung staple!
always return by @shamrocklore : jeno
I feel like this author needs a designated list of their own bc I have so much of their work in my faves list. this one is my most favourite though.
in the moonlight by @lucaswithnoshirt : jeno
this fic.. idk how to describe it? I just love how soft and tender everything about it is :( it makes my heart yearn and ache.
SIMply Mine by @whereisten : sungchan
LISTEN!! their Halloween series is SO. GOOD. I can’t tell you how often I go back and reread them. This one is the cutest in my opinion. I also like I think we’re alone now
Everlong by @raibebe : jeno
I have a sick obsession with this one. I even made a playlist inspired by it. There’s just something about how casual it is that reeled me in, and again it’s so soft. highly recommend! The blurbs are so cute too :(
Celestial by @dreamiesdotcom : renjun
Another writer who scares me bc the way they write evokes something in me. Somehow they pull every repressed emotion out of me through their words and it’s really something.
the things I know by @byunbaekby : jisung
it will rip your heart out. I cried very real tears during this one. I won’t say anything else in case anyone decides to read it :)
sunset by @markswoman : haechan
Please. I also cried very real tears. Definitely not a fairy tale so tread carefully.
midnight moon by @jaeminhours : jeno
Another one I reread so often. I can’t tell you what it is I love so much but it is a fic that left a deep impression on me the first time I read it.
hypersonic missiles by @rrxnjun : jaemin
I loved this one so much that as soon as I finished it, I reread it right after. I love end of the world aus and this one was written so well.
battlecry by @jungnoir : jeno, jaemin
more angst :) usually I think love triangles are stupid but I’ll make an exception for this one.
foe-ney by @yoondoze : haechan
something adorable and lighthearted after all that angst.
@vyutas ‘ werewolf aus are to die for.
each one of them is so good and the way they’re writing them simultaneously blows my mind.
love song by @navyhyuck : jaemin
without a doubt, one of my fave smaus. hopefully you’re not as dumb as me and you’ll figure it out sooner😭
neighbourly love by @yeoldotcom : chenle
another one of my fave smaus. I think it was the first one I ever read and zee is one of the first authors I followed so this fic is really special to me.
I know I left out a lot bc I only started recently bookmarking my fave fics :( sorry. And sorry for how long this is 😳
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found again // jhs
summary - forever was a very long time to be alone, but it was the safeest way to save yourself the heartache of losing loved ones. despite that, you still find yourself falling in love with hoseok
pairing - hunter!hoseok x immortal female!reader
genre - fluff, angst; reincarnation au
word count - 5.0k
warnings - strangers to lovers, hisorical inaccuracies, reader is centuries old, takes place in late 1700s, “i can fix that”, falling in love, kissing, proposal, mentioning of harming self, major character death, dogs die, im sorry everything i write of hoseok is sad but happy ending!!
author’s note - another fic inspired by ABC Forever, because i love the concept and i miss it
After nearing three centuries of life, one would think they’d get used to being alone. To the quiet still air of an empty home, void of a family. But it never did, you could never get used to it. It wasn’t that you purposefully chose to live a life of solitude, but rather found it the best way to live. If you were alone, you couldn’t get hurt. With no roots, it made moving from place to place easier. The only thing that got you through it all was thinking back on your family.
They were long gone by now, but that didn’t change the fact you still thought of them often. More than once, you would dream of what they would have thought with each place. How your mother would move every bit of furniture until it looked just right, how your father would go on about how far it was from the village, or how your little sisters would run about the cabin entirely, claiming it was perfect.
Several times you would get so caught up in your daydreams, you would even call out to them, only for your voice to die out before their names could even fully fall past your lips. Each time you’d wince at your own foolishness, before sighing, returning to the task you were doing.
That was simply how you lived until the day that Hoseok arrived.
You were deep into the woods, picking wild berries when a rustling was heard from across the clearing you were in. Cautiously, you made your way over to the rustling bushes. Right as you were about to peek behind them, a young man popped out from behind them. You let out a scream as you stumbled back, tripping over your skirt and sending you tumbling into the dirt.
“Oh my- I’m so sorry!” The young man spoke as he rushed over to you, helping you back to your feet.
“What were you doing? Were you watching me?!” You exclaimed, pushing him away from you as soon as you stood up.
“No! I promise. I was hunting when my dogs stopped.” It was then you were suddenly aware of the two dog heads that poked out from the branches. “I thought they caught a scent of maybe a deer but uh, seems like they found you,” he chuckled nervously, before his eyebrows shot up. “Where are my manners, I’m Hoseok,” he said, holding his hand out for you.
You stared at it for a moment, before you gave him your name, placing your hand in his. Your hand in his grip, he raised your knuckles to his lips for a kiss.
“Pleasure to meet you.” You swore your face grew hot at those words. It had been years since any man had shown you any sort of affection, even if it was the smallest bit. “What are you doing out here?”
“I- uh, berries.” You gestured to your basket that you left across the clearing. “Collecting some for a pie.” You’re unsure why you felt nervous all of a sudden, but with Hoseok’s gaze on your, it made it difficult to not feel shy.
“Berry pie? Oh that sounds delicious.”
Before you could even comprehend what you were thinking, you found yourself asking, “Would you like some?”
“Pardon?” He furrowed his brows at you.
“I mean,” you cringed at yourself before you started over, “would you like to come over? It should only take a few hours?”
A smile lit up his face, and you swear you don’t think you’ve ever seen a more beautiful smile. “I would love that.” The both of you walked across the field, picking up your basket as you reentered the forest, heading into the direction of your cottage. Glancing behind you, you saw the two bloodhounds following close on his heels. No doubt noticing how you kept glancing behind him, he introduced them. “Their names are Mickey and Ann.”
“They’re beautiful,” you complimented.
The rest of the journey back to your cottage was in silence, but it was not uncomfortable. Reaching your small little property, you felt uneasiness wash over you as you motioned to your small cottage. It was already several years old by the time you moved into it, windows didn’t shut right and it took a couple nudges to fully close the door; but it was home. If Hoseok thought any less of it, he didn’t say anything, besides ordering the two dogs to stay put at the front door.
Once inside, you began to prepare the pie crust. On occasion, you’d glance up at Hoseok who was staring at the small things you had collected over your life, mainly assorted coins from each country you visited and a few books. Picking one of them up, he began to flip through it.
“Do you actually understand this?” He asked, gesturing to the words on the page.
“Italian? Yes.” No doubt it was probably one of the first languages you learned when you discovered your affliction. Over the past few centuries, you found out you had quite the knack for picking up languages.
“You must’ve had some fancy schooling,” he whistled as he set the book down.
“Not really,” you flushed as you kneaded the dough. “Just knew someone who taught it to me.”
“Family?” He asked.
You shook your head no. A small Italian artist took you under her wing for a handful of years, deeming you her muse. In return for being the source of her inspiration, she taught you her language.
“Where is your family?”
The question had you cease your kneading. You should have known the question would’ve been asked at some point or another. Not to mention, you were somewhat of an enigma to the nearby village. A young well read woman from far away living in a small abandoned cottage, what could you possibly be doing all the way out here? No one ever said anything to you about it, but you knew they certainly thought something of it, judging by the stares you received when you’d walk into town. If he’d ever been, there was a strong possibility he knew of you already.
“Gone,” you answered, resuming your kneading. “Just me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry about that.” His voice was soft as he apologized, like he regretted asking.
“Not your fault, they’ve been gone for a while.” A long while.
The comfortable silence was gone, replaced with an air of tension. Like a string held so taught that the smallest movement would cause it to snap. The topic of your family always stung, no matter how much time had passed.
Quite possibly wanting to ease the awkward atmosphere he created, Hoseok quietly made his way over to you in your small kitchen. Standing beside you, he smiled.
“What can I do to help?”
Pushing down the butterflies that had erupted in your stomach, you stepped to the side and handed him the basket of wildberries you collected. “Make the filling?”
The rest of the afternoon consisted of both of you struggling to make the pie. Hoseok apparently wasn’t all that good with following directions as whenever you turned your back to do something, he would try and sneak a nibble at the filling. On occasion, he’d inquire about your knowledge of languages; curious to learn different phrases. It was only when you put the pie in the oven did Hoseok finally cease his linguistic questions. Sitting on a stool, you allowed yourself to catch your breath as you watched the young hunter, who’s gaze was fixated on your roof.
You were well aware of the shape your cottage was in, due to its old age it was in constant need of repairs. The most important one being the leaks in the roof, thankfully it was the dry season so you didn’t have to go about fixing them just yet, but you knew you’d have to get to it eventually.
“I can fix that.” He gestured up to the roof.
“Can you really?” You raised a brow at him.
“Consider it my way of repaying you for the pie.”
And that was the beginning of your friendship with Hoseok. He’d stop by every other day, tools in hand and work on sealing up your roof. A few times, he’d even bring in a few of his kills, offering it to you to make some dinner. Each time you refused, but he always insisted.
“A lady needs her food.”
A little over a week had passed and Hoseok finished the roof. It was then you realized how badly you hated being alone. You’d missed having someone to talk to, to cook for. Having grown so used to his presence in that week, you pointed to the old busted chicken coop that resided on your property. It had been empty since you’d moved in and you thought having fresh eggs from a nice chicken coop would be nice. Without hesitating, he agreed to fix the coop. And your front door, and your windows, and your fence. Each time he completed something, you found something new for him to fix.
While he worked on repairs, you’d either read or cook up dinner, not only for you and him, but for his dogs as well. Mickey and Ann were complete sweethearts, waiting patiently by the front door for their owner to come in and join you all for food. When he was working on your windows, more than once you saw him peeking through as you sat at your kitchen table reading as Mickey laid his head on your lap.
Eventually, the cottage was practically brand new. There was nothing else to be fixed and you had to prepare yourself to say goodbye to Hoseok. Your heart ached as he walked away from your home for the last time, his dogs trailing behind him. The following morning, you resumed your usual chores and activities; tending to your (new) chickens, work in your garden, and reread your books.
You’d been fighting off tears all day, and it was as you were preparing supper that the tears began to fall. Perhaps it was foolish of you to get attached to him anyways. No matter what would have happened, it would’ve turned out the way it usually did: with you disappearing.
A knock on your door, pulled you from your thoughts. For a moment you were confused, no one ever from the village ever came up to visit, you wondered what could’ve happened. Quickly, you wiped the tears from your eyes and made your way over to the door, where the unknown visitor knocked away.
“Coming, I’m coming!” You called as you swung the door open, revealing- “Hoseok?”
The young man was at your door, a handful of freshly killed quails in hand, and both hounds standing behind him, panting happily. “What, I’m not late am I?”
“No, no,” you shook your head, “that’s not it at all. I just- I wasn’t expecting you?”
“Why wouldn’t you be expecting me? I thought we had a nice little arrangement going on?” He questioned.
“We did, but I have nothing else for you to fix so I assumed-”
“Y/N,” he cut you off. Cupping your cheek, you had no choice but to look up into his sweet, adoring face. “I thought it was pretty obvious you wanted me around for some other reason besides being your handyman.”
Feeling your face grow hot, you slowly nodded.
He chuckled at you softly, his eyes never leaving yours. “So is it alright, I come over for supper?”
“Of course,” you breathed out. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy in so long.
So the two of you fell into a routine of sorts, he would stop by some meat for you to cook for your supper. Over the meal, you’d catch up on your day to day activities. By the time the food was gone, and you were with full bellies, Hoseok would excuse himself.
“Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning,” was what he would say as he left your cottage for his own home, somewhere in town. A few times you’d stayed up so late that it was well past midnight, so you offered him your place for the night. Purely because you didn’t want him out so late, but each time he refused; saying it wouldn’t be right.
Slowly, your dinner meetings would begin happening in the day time. The last few days of summer were upon you and you wanted to spend it with Hoseok, having a picnic with him.
You dragged him up a tall grassy hill, basket full of bread, cheese, and jam. He laughed as he allowed you to pull him up towards the top, Mickey and Ann trailing behind at his heels, barking happily. Hoseok allowed the dogs to wander around the area, occasionally calling them back if they went too far.
All set up, you both sat down and enjoyed your lunch. It wasn’t long after you finished that you scooted closer to him, and closer until your hands were almost touching. You were about to slip your hand underneath his when Hoseok’s hand moved, taking your’s and placing it in his. His hands were rough to the touch, small calluses riddled his palms. A smile playing on your lips, you rested your head on his shoulder.
Neither of you moved for hours as you watched the day go by from that little spot on the hill, relishing in the late summer sun. Out of all the years you lived, you had to think that that moment there was the most peaceful. There was no need to run, no overwhelming sense of loss, just you and Hoseok.
“What was your family like?” He questioned.
Taking a deep breath, you began talking about your late family. “My father was a miller, he’d often take me on his runs to deliver flour, giving me a little sack to carry as well,” you smiled fondly at the memory, the villagers chuckling at you as you teetered behind him. “When I was even younger, I used to lay down by the fire and watch my mother sew. . . scolding me for growing up so fast.”
“Did you have any siblings?”
“I had two younger sisters, parents weren’t able to have anymore after the youngest,” you sighed, remembering how hard your parents tried. “They adored flowers, wanting to cover the cottage we lived in with honeysuckle and wild flowers.” Your vision started to get blurry as tears welled up in your eyes.
“They sound wonderful,” Hoseok murmured.
“Yeah, they were. . .” You sighed, blinking back the tears.
“Hey,” he pulled his shoulder away to look at you. “You’re okay, it’s okay.” Hoseok’s hand moved to cup your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face. “Your parents are looking down on you, so proud of the woman you are today.”
Meeting Hoseok’s eyes, you’re overwhelmed with the love and adoration pouring from his gaze. Never in your three hundred years had a person ever looked at you that way. As much as you wanted to give into his love, you were scared of the inevitable. One day Hoseok would begin to age and he would notice you still look the same as the day you met. He would grow old before your eyes, leaving you no choice but to leave him broken hearted. To love him would be selfish of you.
The sound of his voice calling your name pulled you from your spiral. You watched as his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment, before he slowly leaned in. For the first time ever time felt like it stood still. There was no inevitable ticking clock, no fear or thoughts of the future. Just you and Hoseok, on that grassy hill on a late August day.
You should’ve known better than to have let him kiss you, as you knew as soon as you felt his lips on yours, there was no way you’d be able to let him go. Being alone for so many years, perhaps this time you could allow yourself to be selfish. One day you’d tell him about your curse, but until that day came, you were going to let yourself be with him.
As the seasons changed, your relationship with Hoseok only grew stronger. He’d visit you daily, bringing gifts of flowers, baked goods, and other assorted courting gifts. The two of you would spend all day together, reading or he’d help you take care of your chickens. Each night, he would leave, despite your insistence on him spending the night.
“I’m courting you, let me do this right,” he whispered once as he kissed you goodnight.
While you appreciated the sweet sentiment, he should’ve known your relationship was anything but orthodox. If your mother was still around, she surely would’ve been scandalized to hear you kissed him before you even married him. In fact the more you thought about it, the more horrified your mother would be at what you’ve done before marriage. But despite everything you may have done in the past, everything with Hoseok felt like a first.
Whenever Hoseok was with you, never did it feel like time was passing. Like it was only the two of you in your own little bubble of the world, frozen in time. Thoughts of your curse were far from your mind, but each time he left for the night, you knew you had to tell him eventually.
As the days grew colder, that ache you felt in your heart only became more apparent. Soon, you’d think to yourself, I’ll tell him soon. But it couldn’t come soon enough.
Snow soon covered the land, leaving you and Hoseok nothing much but to huddle yourselves inside your cottage. Both of you were huddled in front of your fireplace, desperate to keep warm. Hoseok’s dogs were curled up beside you as well, Mickey’s head resting on your lap as you lazily stroked his fur with one hand. You were rereading one of your novels, simply enjoying the warmth of the fire when you could feel Hoseok’s eyes on you. It wasn’t uncommon that he would stare at you as you did any sort of task, but there was something different about him. Behind his eyes, there was a particularly soft warm glow, making your body feel a thousand times more warmed than the heat of the fire in front of you.
“What are you staring at me like that for?” You finally asked, setting your book down.
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
Within an instant you felt your cheeks warmed by his words. “Yes,” you responded shyly, avoiding meeting his eyes.
Scooting closer to you, he took the book out of your hand, placing it off to the side. Both hands now free, he took them in his as he said your name. “I don’t know how else to say this but, I love you. I don’t know exactly when I fell for you, but I don’t think I ever want to stop.” Removing one hand from yours, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a delicate copper band.
A gasp escaped your lips as he held out the ring for you.
“It would give me the greatest pleasure, if you were to be my wife.”
“Yes,” you whispered. “Yes, yes!” You repeated as he slipped the ring onto your finger. Not even looking at it, you threw your arms over his shoulders. Unprepared for your sudden movement, you both went tumbling to the floor, the dogs whined as they rushed to move away from your colliding bodies. You pressed your mouth to his, smiling into it as he returned your kiss.
Until that moment, all your kisses had been brief. Fleeting kisses of hellos and goodbyes, never lasting more than a second. This kiss was different. His hands held your gently at your hips, keeping you in place on top of him. A fire ignited deep in you as you kissed him, you didn’t want to let him go now, not tonight. Keenly, you began peppering Hoseok’s entire face with kisses. His grip on you tightened as your lips traveled lower along the side of his jaw, nibbling at his neck.
“Wait,” his words came out in a groan. Calling your name, you only responded by moving back up to his lips, wanting to kiss him again. “No, not yet.”
“Hoseok, please,” you whined, breathless from the kiss.
“I know, I know, my love,” he panted as his hand came up to cup your face. “It’s getting late,” he sighed, noticing how dark the sky was outside once you were both sitting up again.
“You could stay the night,” you offered once again. Before he could protest, you continued. “Besides, we’re engaged now. What difference would it make?”
Hoseok rolled your eyes at the logic. “The difference is I would like my first time with you, to be with you as my wife.”
“You’re such a romantic,” you huffed as he stood up, gathering his things for him to leave.
Once all his things were together, he lowered his head down, kissing you one last time. “Goodnight, my love. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Hoseok and his dogs left just like they would any other night.
You stared at the door, waiting for the faint crunches of his footsteps in the snow to disappear. Now alone, you knew you had to tell him. Hopefully his love for you would trump any doubts he would have. While you could try to hurt yourself as proof, you doubt he’d want to see you harmed. Death was a jarring thing, no matter if you were to come back or not. Regardless of the outcome, you knew you’d tell him tomorrow.
The following day, you got up like you would any other. You got yourself dressed, and began your daily activities. Everything was the way it normally was, but something felt off. You couldn’t place what was, but you knew deep down that something wasn’t right.
Covering yourself with a thick shawl, you made your way over towards your chicken coop. Picking out the eggs from your hens, ready to make something for breakfast. Once you had enough, you made your way back over to your house. It was then you heard barking.
Turning your head, you saw the familiar faces of Mickey and Ann, but there was no Hoseok. Setting the basket down, you lowered yourself to the ground, ready to greet the hounds.
“Hey, hey,” you cooed as you pet the dogs, both of them clearly very distressed. “What’s going on? Where’s Hoseok?” As the mention of his name, Mickey barked at you while Ann whined, pulling at your skirts.
“Excuse me, miss.” A new voice called from across the way. Looking up, recognizing the face as the innkeeper. You’d seen him a few times in town and Hoseok spoke of him often, as he had been renting one of his rooms the past few months. “You knew Hoseok, correct?”
“He’s my fianceé,” you responded cautiously as you straightened up. You hugged your shawl tighter around you as the innkeeper���s eyes saddened at your words. “Why? What happened?”
“I’m very sorry for your loss, miss.”
“What?” That moment, you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. Deep down, you wish it did. No, Hoseok couldn’t be gone. It couldn’t be. You wanted to accuse the innkeeper of lying, or perhaps he mistook someone for Hoseok. But the look in his eyes was clear: Hoseok was dead.
A ringing started in your ears as you stumbled back into your cabin, the dogs following after you. Barely able to hear any other word the innkeeper might’ve said, but it didn’t matter anyways. Hoseok was gone. There couldn’t be anything else to be said.
Alone once again in your home, you collapsed onto the ground. Opening your mouth, a deafening wail passed your lips. You had died a number of times by now; you’d been poisoned, stabbed, hung, shot, drowned. You’ve felt almost every measure of pain there was, but nothing compared to the pain you felt when you’d lost your beloved Hoseok.
You became a ghost of yourself after that day. Simply going through the motions of each day. Your only company was Mickey and Ann, who too missed their late owner. They were your only comfort, knowing that taking care of them was something Hoseok would’ve wanted you to do. Every night, they slept on your bed, curled up beside you as you lazily pet their aging bodies.
Ann was the first to die. 10 years have passed since you lost Hoseok. You’d moved out of that cottage a few years prior, knowing it was only a matter of time before the village had caught on to your affliction. The move was particularly hard on the two hounds, not wanting to move far from the only town they’d ever known. But you had no choice. It became very apparent that Ann wished to return, always sleeping by the door, hoping you’d change your mind. That’s how you found her one spring morning, lying quietly by the door, having passed in her sleep.
You buried her in your garden, under a bed of roses.
Having lost both his sister and Hoseok, Mickey followed soon after. He rarely left your bed, only getting up to eat or to go outside. It was only three months later did you bury him beside Ann.
The only reminder you had left of Hoseok was the ring on your finger. You rarely took it off your finger, fearing that one day you might forget it or Hoseok. Often you’d find yourself staring at the copper band. It was simple, bearing no special engravings or jewels, but it became your most prized possession.
Unfortunately, time didn’t stay still for you to wallow in your misery. You had to keep moving forward. But as time moved on, so did the world around you. It was strange how fast technology advanced, but as helpful as it was to the people around you, it became your worst nightmare. It became harder and harder to disappear, small towns and far away cabins no longer felt like the safe haven they once were. Which was how you found yourself deep in the city.
It was strange how easy it was to disappear, to simply become another face in the crowd. No one spared you a second glance, no matter how many times you may have seen them over the years, no one recognized you and your lack of aging. As long as you kept to yourself, you managed to stay hidden in plain sight.
Off the corner of 3rd street, you had your own little hole in the wall bookstore. You purchased the store from a sweet old couple a few years back, it was a quaint little bookshop, already having its own group of loyal customers. On occasion, you would get a few new faces, but it was usually the same ones everyday.
Until today when you saw a face you hadn’t seen in almost 300 years.
Per your usual morning routine, you were taking inventory of the store when you heard the bell over the front door ring. “I’ll be with you in just a moment!” You called out, trying to finish the last few rows of books. Finished, you made your way back towards the front of the store, dusting your hands off. “Well, is there anything I can help you with-” You stopped dead in your tracks as you saw the man you had entered your store. His eyes were cast downwards and he looked over the titles of the front shelves. Hearing your arrival, familiar dark eyes faced you.
“I’m just browsing,” he said, lips curling into a smile you swore you almost forgot.
In front of you, was Hoseok. It was, had to be. He looked every bit the same as that cold winter night when you last saw him. Your mouth opened and closed several times, before you finally gained your senses.
“Well, just, let me know if there’s anything specific you had in mind,” you responded, smiling as you spun around on your heel, wanting to make a break for your back office.
“Actually, there might be something.”
Swallowing thickly, you turned back to face him. “Oh?”
“I’m thinking of getting into cooking, do you have any cookbook recommendations?” He asked.
“Y-yeah, follow me.” Quickly, you walked over towards your cookbook section, feeling his eyes on you as you walked him over to the shelves. Dragging your fingers over the spines, you pulled out the one you were looking for. It was an older copy, you recognized from the late 80s. Inside were recipes of different types of baked goods and other dishes. “This one, I think I’ve made just about everything in it twice,” you said, pulling it off the shelf and handing it to him.
As the man flipped through the pages, you found yourself fiddling with the ring that now hung around your neck. Long ago, you strung a chain through it, nearly losing it down the drain. You stared at him in front of you, still not able to wrap your head around it. After nearly six hundred years, you don’t think you’ve ever seen the same face twice. Maybe this was your second chance with him, to start over again. But at the same time, you knew it would be foolish. The man in front of you was a complete stranger, not Hoseok. For all you know, he could be completely different than your long lost fianceé.
Shutting the book, he nodded. “This is perfect.”
Shaking you from your thoughts, you nodded. “Great. I’ll ring you up over here.” Walking back towards the cash register, you both fell into a silence as you rang him up. “Alright, here you go,” you smiled, handing him the book.
“Thank you so much.” Cookbook and receipt in hand, he made his way towards the front door. He couldn’t go just yet, there was something you needed to know.
“Wait!” You called out right as he placed his hand on the door. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?”
That brilliant smile played on his lips again as he responded. “Jung Hoseok.”
#btsghostie#jung hoseok x reader#hoseok x reader#hoseok fluff#bts x reader#bts fluff#hoseok fanfic#hoseok angst#bts angst
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20 Questions: Writer’s Edition
tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad
this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb
way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter
as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)
do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)
standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)
a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)
where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?
i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that
9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it!
10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo
14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?
oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them
15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing
16. What are your writing strengths?
once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child
20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope
tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this
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author + fic recs
below are a list of writers and my my fav fics of theirs, pls give them some love!! don’t forget to REBLOG, SEND A MESSAGE, OR LEAVE FEEDBACK. sometimes leaving a like isn’t quite enough, so leave a small comment telling them how much you loved it! it really makes their day.
@sketchguk TERESA, uGH my lovie, my world, my moon, my stars, the cause of my euphoria, my queen, the angel from the heavens. she is an incredible writer, and i’ve read all of her works probably thirty million times. they’re sweet, amazing, and definite must-reads! READ HER ENTIRE MASTERLIST, it’s worth it i promise 🥺
-> kiss the girl; worth the wait; lover to lean on; 10 muses
@sleepyjhs violet??? omg, her reactions, drabbles, and writings are so soft and lovely!! pls give her a read, send her some love, reblog her amazing works, and leave come comments! she’s such a sweet angel, and her blog is beautiful (so aesthetically pleasing)
@gukyi GUYI!! guys, this is a no-brainer. i’m sure you’ve read her fics, if not, go give her a read. her fics are absolutely amazing, incredible, and every positive word in the world. the amount of talent she pours into each piece of writing is incredible and phenomenal, she is literally one of the most talented writers on here. go send her some love if you haven’t already!
-> the millionaire & his lover; raspberry truffles; the courtship chronicles; if i told you; the underwear thief; the coffee shop contract
@jamaisjoons hi i love solaris, she owns my heart. anyways, she is a pretty-well known blog in my opinion, and totally deserves it! her writings are amazing, incredible, and i love them so much. her banners are super cute like her too 🥺 she’s the sweetest person, her fics are some of my go-to rereads and my all-time favorites. pls go flood her inbox with love, she’s an incredible angel.
-> faded love; the sea & the storm; love alive
@honeymoonjin guys sora is the most beautiful soul on here 🥺 i love her fics so much, they bring out the ugly tears, the soft feelings, the uwu hours, and emotions i didn’t know i had. i’ve read her entire masterlist probably a billion times because of how talented she is, like skskksksksk?? i don’t understand. go bombard her with love, adoration, and feedback for her lovely fics. she writes them so well, and they’re also hilarious to read!!
-> florezco; anpanman
@jungshookz CEE!! omg i love all of her fics. each and every single one of them is absolutely incredible. i love the style of her writing, i love the hilarious interactions, the tropes, and everything about her fics. she is one of my all-time favorite blogs that i’ve come across, please send her lots of love if you haven’t already!! she is so so talented and incredible, make sure to check out her drabbles and tags!! it’s always hilarious and so much fun to read her fics -- i cackle like a witCH--
-> cowabunga baby; caramel macchiato; gymrat jungkook; beneath the water; suit & tie; soccer coach jungkook; yoga instructor jungkook; ta! jimin; ballet teacher jimin (OMG MY FAV)
@junqkook hi yara is bomb guys. yara’s fics are oh-so-incredible and she’s one of the first blogs i came across in this fandom!! there’s something about the way she writes, the way her words seem to flow together so perfectly that’s incredible. really and truly, she is one of the sweetest people on here and is very very very talented. go give her some love. btw her banners for her fics and her navigation is super cute uwu.
-> rottenfolk; the young wolf; into the woods (series); la douleur exquise
@httpjeon DAISYYY, she’s amazing and i love her. anyways, daisy is the QUEEN of cute banners and headers. she’s so talented and everything on her masterlist is a masterpiece. the way she writes is so beautiful and her stories are amazing!! the detail, the *cough* smut *cough*, the descriptive scenes, and the characters are incredible! gold! amazing! wonderful! i’ve run out of words to describe how lovely they are, but please give her some (re)reads and reblogs!
-> bunny blues (series); lovebug; sehebon; club ardor (series)
@kinktae rosyyyyy is one of the sweetest people on here and im totally here for her friendship with daisy + nora + yara uw. they’re best friend goals. anyways, her fics are like watching movies. they are so detailed and well-written that it plays in your head. you can imagine each scene playing out as you read and they’re really amazing. pls go check them out and give them some love!
-> soliloquy; camellia (two-shot); bitchin’ (series); flesh & blood (series)
@taesthetes uwu, cat’s works are some of the most amazing ones i’ve ever read. they never fail to amaze me and are always guaranteed to bring out emotions. thy’re truly beautiful works of art, and are some definite must-reads! her blog is so lovely and pretty too!
-> let’s unfall in love; amour; hiraeth; her masterlist (just read everything guys it’s incredible)
@ughkive mo! mO! MO! mo is my lovie and an angel. she’s such a beautiful soul and has the heart of an angel. her writings are amazing and some you should definitely check out! the way she writes is beautiful and i love her style of writing, please go flood her mailbox with love and support! much love to you, bb!
-> broken cathedrals; heart strings; bucket list; habits
@gukgalore hi rayan is my intelligent, gorgeous, radiant, and stunning queen. she is the absolute sweetest and must be flooded with love and hugs. go check out the queen, i love her, the aesthetic & layout of her blog, and her writings very very much!! they are very amazing and worth the read! many of them make me emotional and i dont know how she’s so taleneted. pls give her love.
-> young; jungkook breaks your trust (drabble); jungkook lies (drabble); something new
@guksheart she is one of my fav blogs everrr. i truly adore all of her fics and have reread them millions of times. they’re absolutely incredible, and always leave me in awe or speechless because of the talent that’s poured into each writing. each fic is a work of art, a masterpiece, and a treasure. pls go check her out, give her some compliments on her pretty blog, her cute banners, and her amazing self! lots of must-reads all waiting on her masterlist. also,,, on a side note lol her titles are so cute and i love them with all of my heart!! uwu
-> close the distance; in twenty years time; cover me in blue; plans for wedding bands; sugar coated; victor’s game (series m.list)
@gukills POPPY! or tati, i love her so very much with all of my heart and my entire being. she’s gorgeous, radiant, bright, and an angel blessed to us from the heavens!! not only is she the sweetest, she’s so talented in both writing and art! her writings are amazing and something you should definitely check out! uwu her navigation is so cute as well, go give her some love.
-> every moment is valuable; broken glass; just out the window (two-shot)
@cupofteaguk omg omg hiiiii. LOL im sorry but traci’s blog is one of my favs!! she’s one of the first blogs i came across when first joining this fandom and is so incredibly talented. i’ve reread all of her fics millions of times and i love them so so much. they’re so cute, sweet, and hilarious. the way she writes is incredible and i love the tropes and cliche plots that she twists or tweaks to turn into masterpieces. each fic she’s written is gold and i’m always excited to see her pop up on my dash. her banners are all so adorable just like her blog. go give her some love!!
-> like flowers we bloom; the endless winter; breath of spring; hopeless hearts; take my hand (i love this one v much!)
@onherwings hi jo, i adore you with all of my heart and being. jo is such a sweet and talented soul that i’m incredibly lucky and forever grateful to be friends with!! all of her fics are amazing and totally worth the read. her writing style, the descriptive scenes, the plots, the cute banners, the funny interactions, and the way she constructs the relationships as they blossom is beautiful. it feels like a breath of fresh air, walking through a meadow of clouds and stars, and the fuzzy, warm feeling you get from being with people you love. her fics are beautiful and so fun to read. flood her mailbox with love, asks, and support!!
-> mask; the better one; reasons to say i love you
@angelguk she’s one of my favorite blogs ever (mwah!) her writings, her blog, her aesthetic, and her layout are absolutely gorgeous!! uwu they make me soft just looking at the pretty colors, matching themes, and accents. her writings are from another planet, omg, there aren’t enough words and emotions in the world to describe how utterly incredible they are. her writing style is just phenomenal and i love the way her words weave together like strands of silk into works of art. literally, hands down, one of the best writers i’ve come across on this site. i love everything about her blog and i’m sure she’s an even more amazing and beautiful person.
-> breakfast in bed; heartfelt; i wish i missed my ex; amour; phases
@cutaepatootie hi sara seems like such a lovely and sweet person so pls give her some love. ask about her day, tell her a joke, make her laugh, make her smile today. :D her writings are incredible. “A Fallen Bookmark on a Thursday Afternoon” hit so hard. i was tearing up, nearly balling my eyes out because of how realistic and genuine her fics feel. it sounds silly, but they feel like their own little worlds, waiting for you to get lost in. they bring out so many feelings and thoughts that i didn’t know i had, or haven’t really thought about. i think about it so often, and she’s one of the first blogs i came across. pls check out her fics and give her some reblogs!
a fallen bookmark on a thursday afternoon; the blue princess and her red rose; animal (series); a brief story of time; touched by a fallen star
@minflix elle is so very lovely and sweet. she reminds me of flowers because of how sweet and beautiful she is, i hope she continues to blossom. she reminds me of the ocean because of how strong, majestic, and powerful her energy and soul are. her url is so clever, we stan an intellectual in this household!! her banners are amazing??? like??? what??? when i saw them i gasped and proceeded to stare at them in wonder. her fics are even better guys!! what a surprise, pls go read them. they’re masterpieces and i’ve reread them too many times to admit. but in all seriousness, she’s absolutely wonderful and i’m super lucky to know her. go give her some love, lots of love to the sweetest bean!!
break the ice; much better; spellbound; a lack of color; the city comes alive
@yourdelights dee! deE! dEE! DEE! dee is such a talented and sweet soul. like??? she’s so sweet? you could get diabetes just from talking to her. nO seriously, she’s one of the friendliest, kindest, and nicest people on here. her fics are adorable and very funny as well as entertaining. her banners, her theme, and her navigation are so cute and stunning just like she is. go give her some love, send her some asks, start a conversation, make her smile, and be her friend!!
-> the best part of me is you; i’m sorry (drabble)
@diortae hi guys, isabel is amazing, stunning, radiant, and a literal ball of sunshine. go send her some love, reblog her fics, and make her smile!! uwu she’s such a sweet person with an even sweeter personality. her fics are so cute, funny, and fascinating. pls pls pls, check out her most recent fic if you haven’t already “An Abundance of Mondays”. each fic is its own world and tale, with its own special traits and unique twists. i love her banners and her writing style very very much. i would give her flowers if i could.
-> an abundance of mondays; the spaces between; until the spring comes again
#fic recs#blog recs#bts writing#bts scenario#bts reaction#bts fluff#bts masterlist#bts angst#bts smut
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Hello! Welcome to the Reddie Fic Rec!
Please make sure you read all tags on fics before reading!
Have fun and enjoy :)))
Created by Evan (@iwannadie4000 on tiktok)
And special thanks to Charlie (@hippityhoppe on tiktok) for helping!
*CLICK HERE FOR THE GOOGLE DOC REC LINK!*
1. ON POINTE
by tossertozier (rednoseredhair); Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12519724
“Eddie was a freshman at Boston University of the arts, majoring in dance with a concentration in ballet. He went to sleep early, woke up earlier & took nothing for granted. He fucking hated his dorm neighbors, loud, obnoxious idiots who got drunk all the time. They didn't even know where the library on campus was. He didn't have any idea how the three of them, especially the one with curly hair, even GOT into that school.
2. BRIGHT AS YELLOW
by speakslow; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12786678
Highschool AU, Richie’s loud Eddie’s annoyed what do you expect
3. WONDER VIOLET
by belby; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13179045
Eddie’s friends with Richie’s sister ,,, you know what happens
4. GO WEST
by ssstrychnine; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12327069
“1996: Richie and Eddie finish school, drive to San Francisco, change their lives ft. hair braiding, a fake las vegas wedding, waterfalls, bumper cars, and approx. 3300 miles.”
5. I LEFT MY UMBRELLA AT HOME
by hippityhoppy; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775233
“By 1996, the Losers are well into college. As they often do, life and time have distanced them in more ways than one. Richie, in an attempt to cling to the normalcy of the past in what feels like a steep slope into a downward spiral, ends up on an unfamiliar doorstep of an all too familiar friend. As if Eddie didn't have to deal with enough on his own plate. The both of them, they quickly come to find out, are unprepared for the storms to come.”
6. LOVESONG (A SERIES)*
by WaxAgent; Mature-Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/852234
“They're all connected, sure, but nothing comes close to the iron bonds between Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak; they have their ups and their downs, but they always have each other. A look at their lives from leaving Derry to being dragged back by a promise than both of them had long forgotten.”
*(OKAY EVAN HERE!!! I LOVE THIS FIC/SERIES SO MUCH BUT IN PART 2 IT HAS A STRANGER THINGS CROSSOVER WITH MIKE AND EL BUT I SAY SKIP THAT AND GO ON YOU DON'T MISS MUCH AND WE ALL KNOW IM SO ANTI-CROSSOVER OKAY BYE)
7. WHENEVER I’M ALONE WITH YOU
by stellarbisexual; Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182691
“Losers in college. Richie's in an alternative rock band, and Eddie has flung himself into the queer scene.”
8. SAY THAT YOU’LL STAY
by speakslow; Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12474044
“Richie works at a shitty amusement park for the summer and meets some new friends. Set in 1997”
9. STAY FOR THE STORM
by inoubliable; Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15442848
“Richie and Eddie had become friends almost on sight. Since they met, most of Eddie's time in Los Angeles has involved Richie in some way.
It's a little different, now that they're both famous.
It's a little different, now that they're sleeping together.
Well, to be fair, they've been sleeping together for a long time, but. No one knows, not even their friends. Eddie has been very careful about that. It's just not the sort of publicity he needs.
So when Beverly calls him that sunny Thursday morning, the last thing he expects her to say is, ‘You're fucking Richie?’”
10. COFFEE AND CARNIVAL BEARS
by StarshipDancer; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12325209
“‘Eddie Kaspbrak knew how many germs were in a person’s mouth, and he would only swap spit with his fucking soulmate.’
Finding your soulmate should be pretty straightforward, but not for Eddie. Not when there were two possible candidates, and he had no idea which one it fucking was.”
11. LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY(S)
by Kandakickas; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12372279
“In which Richie and Eddie go to different colleges, and all of their friends are curious about their unnamed significant others - right up until those significant others come to visit and everyone is both shocked and confused.”
12. MEET ME HALFWAY
by ShowMeAHero; Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667038
“‘Richie,’ Mike says sharply. “Who are you with? Why are you in Derry?”
‘Tell him,’ Eddie whispers again.
‘Is that Eddie?’ Mike asks.
‘Tell him, Richie,’ Eddie says again, louder.
‘Jesus Christ,’ Mike says, and Richie snaps, throwing his phone hard at the kitchen wall opposite them. The back smashes and the battery falls into a bowl soaking in the sink. There’s a beat of silence where Eddie and Richie stare at the battery floating in the soapy water.
‘Good work, Kobe,’ Eddie says.”
13. DREAMBOAT
by weepies; Not Rated
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073438
“‘What are you? A third grader? What the fuck is this?’ Eddie asks. He looks at Richie, confused.
‘A list of fun stuff to do, duh. Can’t you read? I thought you were studying creative writing.’ Eddie glares at Richie, who raises his hands in surrender as he chuckles. ‘Okay, okay. Hear me out. Your professor tells you to write what you know, and you said you don’t know anything. Well, sugar, here’s your opportunity to learn something about yourself.’
Dumbfounded, Eddie cannot tear his eyes away from Richie, his mouth agape. ‘You’re insane,’ Eddie says.
‘And proud,’ Richie replies.
...
In which Eddie Kaspbrak is a writer with no ideas, and Richie Tozier is a coffee shop employee bursting with creativity.”
14. TO THE GUY AT THE BUS STOP:
by Ragno; Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12809109
“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, especially if the other side of the fence is Ireland and the grass is Eddie living his own life for the first time ever away from his mom. An International Students Exchange Program is what he needs to finally stand up for himself and doing what he really wants. Who cares if he won't know anybody there? Who cares if he'll be alone in a foreign country? Who cares if he won't have his car and will need to take the bus to go anywhere?? Okay, maybe Eddie does care about that last one…But, hey, at least the real grass is really greener there. Right?”
15. CLOSER THAN MOST
by tozierbraks; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934062/chapters/34598660
“Richie was panting slightly when he reached out an arm and grasped the man’s shoulder a little too hard. He spun rapidly, stumbling backwards away from Richie, his deep brown eyes wide in shock.
‘Eds.’ Richie breathed, his stomach twisting.
Eddie’s wide eyes narrowed in confusion while his brows knitted downwards. He pulled his shoulder out of Richie’s grip
‘Sorry, do I know you?’
college au + forgetting!eddie fic”
16. SIGNED, SOMEONE
by roughentumble; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21096380/chapters/50195051
“A secret admirer/love letter AU. Richie starts leaving anonymous love letters in Eddie's locker.”
17. CLUE(LESS)
by endversed; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12468440
“Every person on this sorry planet wakes up on their seventeenth birthday with a soulmate mark somewhere on their body – but it’s not always easy to figure out. It’s not their name, or their first words to you, or even some kind of matching shape. It’s not anything clearly indicative; nothing concrete (at first).
No, all this mark gives you is a clue.”
18. FOR BLUE SKIES
by sunsetozier; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13978821
“Just as he’s beginning to shake himself out of his daze, his phone buzzes in his hand, a notification popping up at the top of his screen that makes his entire body freeze, reading and rereading it to make sure his eyes aren’t playing a trick on him. When the words don’t change, his jaw drops, an anxious excitement tingling just beneath his skin.
@trashmouthmusic followed you back!
[In which Richie posts anonymous covers on Twitter and Eddie is instantly infatuated with his voice.]”
19. OUR HOUSE, IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR HOUSE
by orphan_account; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12458046
“Whatever song your soulmate has stuck in their head is resultantly stuck in yours. Eddie, long suffering through mattress commercial jingles and old rock hits, imagines he would kill his soulmate if he had the chance. Or, he would, if he didn't think revenge was a better answer.”
20. MAYBE, MAYBE
by lisscor; Not Rated
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12841593
“The light was on again. The one in room 307. Richie wondered, not for the first time, who was up there.
Maybe one day, he would find out.
*
In which two insomniacs who have never met find comfort in the last place they would think to look - each other.”
21. MOST BELOVED
by idaemilia; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12160854/chapters/27598224
“‘But he had eyes like rain
and hair like waves
and a soul as vast and deep as the ocean
and I guess I didn't mind drowning in him’
-xvaniex on tumblr
Eddie keeps pining for Richie who is too blind to see it. But maybe he already knows.
*previously named Philtatos*”
22. TO WHAT WE MIGHT DO
by MacksDramaticShenanigans; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21709897
“He looks scared. More scared than Eddie’s ever seen him before. He looks nervous, too, and Eddie didn’t think it was even possible for Richie Tozier to get nervous.
But there he is. Looking like he's going to shit his pants or throw up all over himself. Eddie would be more worried about that if he still thought Richie was drunk.”
23. CROOKED HEARTS
by killerqueer; General Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093371
The Monday before Christmas break, Eddie comes to school to find a yellow rose and a letter from a secret admirer taped to his locker. He's convinced it's a prank until the same thing happens the next day and then continues the rest of the week. He's determined to find out who is doing this, even though he's convinced himself that there's no way it could possibly be the one person he really wants it to be.
24. THE THIRD DATE RULE
by tinyarmedtrex; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13059960
“Bev drags Eddie along for her tattoo session, telling him that her artist is sex on a stick. She's right, Eddie likes him immediately- if only he wouldn't talk so much.
AU where Richie is a tattoo artist and Eddie pretty much just wants to work in HR and be left alone.”
25. PARENT TEACHER ASSOCIATION (PTA)
by reddiebitch; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13773060
“In which Eddie is Richie's kid's first grade teacher.”
26. FAKING IT
by domino1234; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023273
“The obnoxiously pretty boy with the filthy mouth across the hall manages to convince Eddie to spend spring break pretending to be his boyfriend at his family’s lake house. Can Eddie put his unrequited crush aside to play up the charade for a week or will his feelings inevitably get in the way?”
27. Nightmares
by MargotCelvin; Teen and Up Audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15515028
“Richie Tozier is trying to start over in New York. He left California behind and wants to leave his old life there as well. The only thing holding him to his old life are the nightmares that have plagued him for so long. But is there something in New York that can cure him of this disease?”
28. FREAKING OUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD
by bearkwans; Explicit (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19342543
“Richie thinks that this is what being a father is like. He sure fucking feels like a father, dropping all of his plans to take care of his pet, making very specific google searches and running around his apartment like a madman, grabbing toys and a blanket and a few mice in a tupperware bowl. He knows logistically that everything he’s grabbing is useless and what he really needs is a chill pill and maybe some whiskey to soothe his shaking hands, but Richie can’t help the way his paternal side wakes up and takes control of his mind.
“[or: richie's pet snake is sick and he goes to see vet eddie ;) ;)]”
29. SUGAR, HONEY, HONEY
by thefutureisbright; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376344
“Eddie works in a bakery. His life was finally simple. He loved his job, he loved his friends, he loved his shitty little apartment with its shitty little balcony. He loved the plants he kept on his balcony. He loved that he could see the New York skyline when it was an especially clear day. He loved that he lived nowhere near his mother. Eddie loved his quiet, simple life.
Until he met Richie fucking Tozier, and his life was never simple again.”
30. THE BLIND BOX
by tinyarmedtrex; Mature (18+)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13728915
“Eddie works at Gamestop and a dark haired stranger comes in and starts flirting with him. Eddie doesn't think much of it until they keep meeting.
Another College AU! Because why the hell not”
#reddie#fanfiction#reddie fanfiction#fanfic rec#richie tozier#eddie kasbrak#richie and eddie#it#it chapter two#it chapter 1#it 2017#it 2019#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#richie x eddie
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hi chel! i hope this is ok to ask but if it isnt, you dont have to answer. lately, ive been struggling with my writing. i do still enjoy writing, but i find myself doubting myself more often. i sometimes wonder if what im writing is realistic to how the characters would act, or if my writing is embarrassing. i started posting my works on ao 3 more recently and... while my writing gets a somewhat decent? amount of attention, ill see other works with a lot of engagement and wonder if im doing
heyy nonny! ofc this was okay to ask!! firstly, i totally feel you. it’s completely natural to have moments when you’re unsure and dissatisfied with your writing. if you still enjoy the process of writing, then that’s great! i want to make it clear that your feelings may linger but they will pass!!
i talked about this in an ask on my writing blog once but my three biggest writing tips are: “a first draft is a first draft”, “if you’re writing is indulging you then it’s met your target audience” and “as long as your characterisation is consistent to how you feel about the character everything is fine”.
i think, especially, when you’re writing fanfiction that these are things that you keep in mind! when characterising characters, i can’t personally tell you whether how you feel and thus write about them is ‘correct’ or not! no one can, because the lens of which you read and write them is dependent on your whole life worth of experiences!! and this is fine!! you don’t have to write characters exactly as they are in canon, and in all honestly no one truly expects you too. people read fanfiction because they want other interpretations of a story/characters that they love!! as long your characterisation is consistent to you, rather than realistic to someone else’s standards i think you’ll be okay!
now, posting on ao3 is always a double edged sword, and once again, i totally get where you’re coming from. i think everyone who posts semi frequently has a work that they love, which gets barely any attention, and other works that maybe are more of a joke or a quick thing that do surprisingly well. sadly, you can’t force readers or engagement, you can only put your stuff out and hope. if your numbers seem small and the engagement does seem low in comparison to other people, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong and as hard as that is to internalise or believe, please trust me on this!! i’ve read many a fic with barely any interaction and they’ve been brilliant, likewise i’ve read a lot of fic with a whole bunch of engagement that i personally didn’t enjoy.
a quick initial solution that helped me when seeing numbers really started to bog me down was using the site skin that removed all statistics from every work, my own included. this meant that i could still read fics, but i wouldn’t see anyones numbers, and it also meant when i went on my own page i was forced to look at my works for what they’re about rather than how “well or not” they did by numbers.
another thing that really helped me was advice from a tiktok i can’t currently find which basically said: “30, 60, 100 views might not seem like a lot on the internet, but imagine if that many people walked into your room and saw what you’ve created. they chose to come and see what you’ve created. 15, 40, 60 likes may not feel like a lot but imagine if that many people who had walked into your room to see what you’ve created and told you they liked your work. it would be pretty overwhelming.” i think there’s a really important message in that tiktok. every view, every kudo, comment and bookmark — even if it’s few — is an individual who chose to take a look at your work! they wanted to read it! some of them felt brave enough to kudo and tell you they enjoyed it! some of them were even braver and left a comment saying what they enjoyed! sure, it can feel underwhelming in comparison, but people are engaging, people do care and like your work!
the only person your writing has to be ‘good enough’ for is yourself! and if you enjoyed writing it then external numbers are just a bonus, no matter how big or small!! dissatisfaction is natural and expected from time to time, like i said earlier it will pass. sometimes it’s even a good thing, because if you finish something but feel dissatisfied, that might motivate you to write another draft, or redo a section or take a section out or add a section in! as long as this process is because you want to and it’ll make you happier with your work that’s good. if it’s draining it might be a hint that you should take a break from that project and try something else that you enjoy. you can always comeback. and on that note your ao3 and the fics you post there are not set in stone. if one day you decide you want to revamp a fic, do it! that’s allowed! it’s not a printed published fic! just hit that edit button and change at your hearts content. no one will mind! if anything those few people who might love you fic may be super happy that when they reread it, there’s something new or things have changed a bit!!
i’m really lucky that i have a friend that is not only is doing an english degree but writes fanfic herself, and other friends who frequently read fics and hc stuff over shared fandoms, so there’s always someone there to read my stuff — if you’ve got irl friends that are in your fandom spaces that you trust, i say subject yourself to the mortifying ordeal of being known and talk to them about it!! writing fics in isolation can be pretty hard!! online, i think if you’ve got the nerves to handle it (i do not OTL), twitter is a great place to interact with other writers!! my tips are maybe follow some of your fave writers and try and strike up a conversation?? be wary of the numbers again on twitter!!! similarly, if you do have a tumblr, talk to some of your favourite writers on here, and follow some writing/ao3 based blogs to see whose in the community! apparently there’s even discords for writers these days, so if you’re up to it that’s a great shout. if we’re in overlapping fandoms i love hearing people’s hcs so you can always throw them at me here or on my writing blog!!
i’m sorry that my reply got so long!! i hope that in some way it helps you even a little!! i’m sure you’re writing is pretty amazing and that it’s only going to get better the more you read and write!! have a great day nonny, and good luck, you can push through this!! 💗
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intimacy prompts - 37 with mashton? feels like it would work for them
i got this idea and then i just felt like a compelling need to write it im sorry im not taking these prompts literally enough however this plot is absolutely crucial frankly i don’t know why it’s not employed in fic more often
-
“This stuff doesn’t work,” Ashton says.
Michael frowns. “You’re saying you don’t want to fall in love with me?”
“I’m saying there are better ways to fall in love than to just a bunch of questions,” Ashton says. “If I were going to be in love with you, don’t you think I’d have done it by now? I’ve known you for, like, seven years.”
“I’m pretty sure you are in love with me and you’re just in denial,” Michael says dismissively. “But that’s not the point. I’m just curious. Look, worst case scenario it doesn’t work and we just become closer friends.”
“And best case scenario?” Ashton asks, raising his eyebrows. He can’t really think of a best case scenario here, because falling in love with Michael through a series of carefully curated questions just feels fraudulent, and Ashton wouldn’t believe himself if it “worked.”
“We fall in love,” Michael says. “Duh.”
Ashton rolls his eyes. “Fine. But I want it on the record that I don’t think there’s any merit to this experiment, and I’m mostly doing it so I can have material to blackmail you with.”
Michael smirks. “Sure you are.”
(And maybe a little bit because he’s curious to see what will happen. If maybe it is possible to fall in love in thirty-six questions. If Ashton were going to fall for anyone this easily, he reckons it would be Michael.)
-
Some of the questions are kind of funny. When Ashton asks Michael, “Would you like to be famous? In what way?” Michael snorts before going off about how badly he wants to be a rock star, and how he’s worried he’ll never make it, because everyone in his band sucks and he doesn’t know if this song he wrote is good enough for any record labels. Then Ashton hits him and tells him that if they’re really going to do this, they have to be honest, and from there it gets, well.
“If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?” Michael reads, and then props his chin in his hand and looks expectantly at Ashton.
If Ashton had known just how probing these questions would be, he’s not sure he’d have agreed to this game. (If it can be called a game.) It’s not that he’s uncomfortable, but it’s hard to be open and honest like this, with no buffer, just him, Michael, and the truth.
“Nothing,” Ashton says, which is the only truthful answer he can come up with. Michael looks unimpressed. “I mean it. I wouldn’t want to know anything. What’s the point of life if you can just look up the answers? Why, what would you say?”
“I —” Michael purses his lips. “I’m not sure. But not nothing. I guess, I don’t know, I’d want to know if the band will last.”
“But if you knew the band would last, you’d stop working as hard to keep it together,” Ashton says. “And if you knew it wouldn’t, you’d just give up, wouldn’t you?”
“Would not,” Michael says, defensive, almost offended. “I’d do my best to make sure that future never came true.”
“It’s the future, Mike. It’s — it’s going to come true, that’s the point.”
“If the future tells me something I don’t like, I have every right to try and fight it,” Michael says stubbornly. “The band doesn’t tank unless I say it does.”
Ashton’s gut twists, although not in an unpleasant way. Actually, the dogged determination to protect what he loves is one of Ashton’s favorite things about Michael, and hearing him talk about the band like he’d rather die than lose it is making Ashton feel, well, something. He’s not sure what, and not sure he wants to know, although he has a feeling it’ll identify itself before the thirty-six questions are through.
They work through a few more questions in the second set. Then Michael, slightly strangled, says, “Uh. How close and warm is your family?” He clears his throat. “Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?”
“That’s two questions,” Ashton says.
“It’s written as one,” Michael tells him, turning his phone around like Ashton won’t take him at his word. “Well, uh. Go ahead. It’s your turn.”
Ashton bites his lip. “You already know all of this about me,” he says, which is an evasion tactic, and Michael sees right through it.
“You — it’s part of the thing,” he says. “If you don’t want to answer it, I guess…”
“No, I just — I don’t think I’m going to say anything surprising.” Ashton sighs. “How close and warm is my family? Enough. My mum’s gotten better at keeping us close. I think it helps that I have money now. My childhood was unhappy until I joined the band. So, no. I don’t think it was happier than most people’s.”
“Until you joined the band?” Michael echoes, tilting his head.
“Yeah,” Ashton says. “Like, I didn’t really have anything pushing me forward until that. It gave me direction. And three new friends, which didn’t hurt.”
“You’ve never said that,” Michael says, studying Ashton. Ashton feels like he’ll wilt under Michael’s gaze, too vulnerable, too easy to pull apart.
“Yeah, well.” Ashton clears his throat. “It’s your turn.” He wants to avert his gaze but also really, really doesn’t, and is saved by Michael looking away to reread the question from his phone, and they move forward.
The deeper they get into the questions, especially in the third set, the more Ashton wants to crack a joke, and the worse it feels to do so. They’re in the thick of it now, and even if it’s just a test, to see if it works, it’s not exactly the kind of thing Ashton wants to laugh at — just in case it does. (It can’t. There’s no way it could, because Ashton’s known Michael all this time, and hasn’t been in love with him.
And yet.)
“Tell your partner what you like about them,” Michael reads. “Be very honest — say things you might not say to someone you’ve just met.” He gives Ashton a lopsided smile. “Good thing we didn’t just meet. Lay it on me, Irwin.”
Ashton licks his lips, which suddenly feel dry. “Okay,” he says. This shouldn’t be hard. There’s a lot he likes about Michael. But all of the things immediately flying to Ashton’s tongue are things he would say to a complete stranger; surface compliments, or basic acknowledgements of skill. You’re a good guitarist is ridiculously shallow, and even you’re very dedicated sounds too vague to be true.
“I like that you’re the kind of person who knows how to heal,” Ashton says quietly. Michael furrows his brow. “I mean, I like that you’re someone who doesn’t ever fully break. You’re — you’re so strong, and you put up with so much shit, and every single time, I think, this is it, this is going to be the one that breaks him, but I’m always wrong. I’m glad I’m always wrong. I don’t know what I’d do if you really did break, but I’m always amazed. I’ve never — I think I’m the type to shatter, but you’re not. You can pick yourself up. I admire that about you. I always have.”
Michael swallows. “Oh. That’s — that’s really, like. Thank you, I think.”
Ashton rubs the back of his neck. For some reason, he feels more like an open book from this question — which is really, for him, about Michael — than any of the other ones. “Yeah,” he says. “Uh, you go.”
“I don’t really know how to follow that,” Michael says lightly. Ashton cracks a smile. “Okay, well, um. Alright. I like that you have this, I don’t know, endless optimism. It doesn’t make any sense to me, because I feel like with all the shit you’ve gone through, you should be full of, like, hate, and anger, but instead you always smile, and you believe in people, and,” Michael gestures aimlessly, unaware of the way Ashton’s palms feel clammier every second, “I don’t know. You’re relentless in your optimism, even though you’ve been burned. More than once. I don’t think I could be like that if I — but you are. So…I admire that. It’s very — noble.”
“Noble,” Ashton murmurs, cheeks pink. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”
“Not really,” Michael says. “It’s just true.” But that makes Ashton feel even warmer, a fizzing sensation building in his chest that he can’t really diagnose. He’s used to pressure like this, but usually it’s anxiety or something, not — whatever’s happening right now, doing this. This kind of pressure feels like it needs to be relieved by someone else.
They make their way through the last of the questions, and by the time they’re through, Ashton feels like he’s just been on the emotional rollercoaster of a lifetime. “I need water,” he says.
“Get me some?” Michael requests, with a halfway smile. Ashton chuckles and takes his leave, returning with two glasses of water.
“Well,” he says delicately, “how do you feel? In love with me?”
“It’s not finished,” Michael says. Ashton frowns; he’s pretty sure there are only thirty-six questions. “Now we have to look into each others’ eyes for four minutes.”
“What?” That’s just...strange. And the more Ashton thinks about it, the more nervous he gets. “Why?”
Michael shrugs. “That’s what the article says. Answer the questions, then look into each others’ eyes for four minutes.”
“Four minutes,” Ashton says hoarsely. “That’s kind of long.”
“I think that’s the point,” Michael says. “Shall we?”
Ashton’s panic response is kicking in, but he’s in too deep now to back out. “Sure,” he manages. Michael smiles, soft and small the way he only ever does for Ashton, and some of Ashton’s tension dissipates.
They sit across from each other, cross-legged on the rug, hands in their laps, and Michael sets a four-minute timer on his phone. “Ready?” he asks. Ashton’s not sure he’s ever going to be ready for this particular task, but it doesn’t really matter; Michael hits the start button and then he’s confronted with Michael’s eyes, gazing into his own, and the realization that it’s going to be this for the next four minutes.
For what feels like an eternity, Ashton twists his fingers around themselves, nervous energy manifesting in fidgeting hands, and he keeps wanting to look away, desperate to close whatever window is being opened right now, because he’s absolutely certain that Michael is seeing into his soul. Then Michael reaches across and gently wraps Ashton’s hands up in his own.
“Stop fidgeting,” he whispers. Ashton can feel the calluses on Michael’s fingertips skimming across the back of Ashton’s hands. He stops fidgeting, but Michael doesn’t take his hands back, and Ashton finds himself hoping he doesn’t decide to.
Michael’s eyes are very pretty. Ashton zeroes in on that fact. They’re the kind of green that looks like sea glass, maybe, and they’re ridiculously easy to get lost in. Again and again, Ashton has to force himself not to look away. He’s never stared at anyone this intently, for this long, in this kind of silence that feels loaded with tension.
(Since when is it loaded with tension?)
Michael’s palm is warm against the back of Ashton’s hand, and Ashton thinks about that, about how Michael always feels warm when Ashton needs him to be, and thinks about the thirty-six questions, and wonders why they were supposed to make him fall in love with Michael. Most of those questions hadn’t been the kind of thing you’d fall in love with for anyone. Knowing that the last time Michael cried by himself was last night, watching Bambi, shouldn’t really make Ashton fall in love. It wouldn’t.
Although the knowledge that Michael has been crying alone at all is pretty painful. So is the fact that Michael had clearly been relieved to share that information, as if, slightly less recently, he’d cried on his own for something a little heavier than Bambi. Ashton wants to know what it was. He wants to be the person who holds Michael together while he stitches himself up. Michael’s always had an instrumental role in his life — it had been Michael, in the first place, who’d recruited Ashton for the band — and Ashton could spend all his days trying to return that favor and still come up short.
The pressure in his chest, or the butterflies, or the sparkling soda, whatever it is is back with a vengeance, bubbling over until Ashton feels hot and cold all over. He tightens his grip on Michael’s hands.
The realization that they could kiss right now doesn’t so much hit as settle easily into Ashton’s already volatile mind. In fact, Ashton thinks, he kind of wants to kiss Michael like this. It feels like a natural extension of the questions and the staring, the next bridge to cross, the easiest way to communicate to Michael that — well.
It’s not that Ashton’s fallen in love with Michael, it’s just that maybe being in love with Michael has been Ashton’s reality for a little longer than he’d known.
As soon as that thought lands, the timer on Michael’s phone goes off, a breezy alarm song that startles them both. Michael tugs a hand out of Ashton’s grasp to turn the alarm off, and the eye contact breaks for a second, but Ashton stills feels like he’s in a trance, especially when Michael immediately turns back to him, eyes wide and questioning, head at a halfway tilt.
“What are you thinking?” he asks, which is not what Ashton had expected him to ask, and catches him by surprise, enough that he actually says what he’s thinking, though he shouldn’t, though it’s a dangerous train of thought, though it’s probably a mistake because Ashton still doesn’t really believe in the magical thirty-six (and a half) questions.
“I want to kiss you,” he tells Michael, holding unconsciously tighter to Michael’s hand.
Michael exhales, a sigh of…maybe relief. “Oh, thank God.” And he leans in, freeing his hand from Ashton’s grasp to put both palms against Ashton’s cheeks, fingers curling around the back of his head, and kisses him.
The bubbling pressure in Ashton’s chest feels light and airy all of a sudden. Ashton reaches for Michael, anything to get his hands on him, and settles an unsteady hold on Michael’s shoulders just to anchor them in place. The angle’s awful — they’re both still sitting on the floor — but the kiss feels like coming home, and it makes more sense to Ashton than most of the other things in his life. Michael is uncharacteristically gentle with him (Ashton’s seen him kiss other people, knows how rough and tumble he can be), and after a moment, not long enough, he breaks away, resting his forehead against Ashton’s. Ashton’s whole face feels too warm.
“Believe me now?” Michael teases. It takes Ashton a second to understand what he’s talking about.
“I’m not in love with you,” he says, but the way his heart sinks at that, and the way Michael flinches backwards, immediately disprove that statement. “Okay, I might be, but not because of the questions.”
Michael smiles, which turns into something of a smirk, but without losing any of its initial gentleness. “Well, it worked for me.”
Ashton finds that difficult to believe. “You can’t be in love with me now just because you know more about me.”
“Well, I already liked you a whole fucking lot,” Michael says easily.
Ashton does a double-take. “You did?”
Michael sighs. “Oh, Ashton. You’d be the worst if you weren’t the best.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Ashton says, although he fails to bite back a smile. “So now you’re in love with me?”
“I’d be an idiot not to be.” Michael pushes himself to his feet and then holds out a hand for Ashton to do the same. He doesn’t step backwards when Ashton rises, leaving virtually no space between them. “I want to kiss you again.”
“You can kiss me as many times as you want,” Ashton says breathlessly, and Michael does.
#i cant believe this but i genuinely didnt reread this before posting it so you get completely unedited bella writing!! enjoy :) or dont :)#ashton irwin#michael clifford#mashton fic#mashton#5sos fic#fic#my fic#i stayed up late to write this for you <3 it's nearly 4am now and i have to be up at nine <3 i hate myself#cravinsomethinsweeter#ask#answered#5sos
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In addition to our own personal top fics (which you can view here), we asked you all to send us your choices for your fics of the decade and why you loved them. We received so many wonderful submissions, and now want to share them with everybody! In an effort to not make this post too long we’ve edited down the comments that people left us, but everyone had some really lovely things to say, so if anything catches your eye here we really encourage you to take a look at the complete list of comments here.
Without further ado, please enjoy the top fics of the decade as chosen by you, our listeners:
Submitted by: Cricket
Fic 1: pilgrimage by wolfsupremacist
Info: EXO RPF, Baekhyun/Sehun
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411497/chapters/43607615
Cricket’s comment: I can't get over all the building in this fic -- the world building, the character building, the relationship building. The main character’s development was like watching a child grow: it's hard to see it happening, but once you reflect on who he became versus who he was, it's so obvious how he changed.
Fic 2: the eye of providence by minhyukwithagun
Info: NCT RPF, Jaehyun/Taeyong
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981330
Cricket’s comment: I have genuinely never laughed so hard while reading a fic.There were so many little details that the author added that were unnecessary to the overall plot but just made the characters so much more real. You get to learn so much about everyone in such a (relatively) short amount of time.
Fic 3: so collect your scars and wear them well by addandsubtract
Info: Hockey RPF, Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5075128
Cricket’s comment: I feel like this fic changed me as a writer. It touches on such a relatable subject: that feeling of being completely unsure of what you should do with your life when Plan A doesn't work out, and discovering who you are without the thing that you previously thought defined you.
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Submitted by: Claire
Fic 1: The Baffled King and The Idiot Hero by Ellarose C
Info: Hetalia, ?
Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5819880/1/
Claire’s comment: This fic launched 3 of my high school friendships that continue to this day. It's cute and Hallmark levels of unrealistic, and I LOVE it. The overwhelming nostalgia and gratefulness I feel towards this fic (and all of Carrie's work, honestly) still blows me away.
Fic 2: Embers by Vathara
Info: Avatar: The Last Airbender, gen
Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/1/
Claire’s comment: The best, wildest, most comprehensively worldbuilt ATLA fic I have ever read. Tea, dragons, realistic motivations, that ending... perfect. *chef kiss*
Fic 3: Of A Linear Circle (series) by flamethrower
Info: HP, various
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028
Claire’s comment: I linked the whole series because I simply cannot pick a favorite installment. OaLC focuses on fixing the glaring plot holes in the Wizarding education system, accurately depicting the Founders' Era thanks to copious research, and showing that no one is truly irredeemable (except Voldemort himself, who more than earns it).
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Submitted by: Threepwillow
Fic 1: All the Other Ghosts by rainjoys
Info: Glee, Kurt/Blaine
Link: https://rainjoyswriting.livejournal.com/146587.html
Threepwillow’s comment: All The Other Ghosts and its direct sequel, Grey, are some of the most incredibly original and simultaneously incredibly transformative works of fanfiction I have ever read. The way they masterfully twist elements of canon to fit into the lore of their AU is second only to the profound, revelatory character studies that they've executed. This shit is extraordinary.
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Submitted by: Segs
Fic 1: Hemostuck (series) by roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite
Info: Homestuck, various
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/8470
Seg’s comment: THE WORLDBUILDING. THE ARTWORK. THE NARRATIVE VOICE(S). THE INCREDIBLE GRASP ON CHARACTERIZATION. DID I MENTION THE WORLDBUILDING.
Fic 2: transistor by fishcola
Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760093/chapters/44503969
Seg’s comment: Rips my heart to shreds piece-by-piece and then gently puts it back together in the end. It's another put-these-characters-in-a-darker-setting sort of thing. It is brilliant and beautiful and I love it dearly.
Fic 3: any sign of spring by bluecarrot
Info: Hamilton, Hamilton/Burr
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523227/chapters/17100376
Seg’s comment: This fic is so dang atmospheric. It feels very physical -- the temperature, the environment, the drawing. It's bittersweet, but ends on the sweet, and I think the sweetness is all the more emphasized for it. Rereading it feels like coming back to a familiar place.
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Submitted by: Ang
Fic 1: Anarchy In The U.K. by Yahtzee
Info: X-Men First Class, Erik/Charles
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673552/chapters/1232410
Ang’s comment: the writing of this one made it so easy to get completely lost in the au while still knowing the characters so well from the source material! super engaging, totally consumed my life for a week
Fic 2: blackjacks running down by back by dangerbears
Info: 1D, Harry/Louis
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499474
Ang’s comment: this is like my comfort blanket fic! every time i reread it (even though i'm not in that fandom anymore), it's still just as funny and cute as it was the very first time i read it - again the au is so easily believable because the characterizations are so familiar.
Fic 3: this city bleeds its aching heart by renne
Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829
Ang’s comment: unsurprisingly, it's another au that is so easy to fall into! this is another one that i've been consistently rereading since i first read it (in 2015, for this one) because it's my absolute favorite trope with a ship that i'm still very much into!
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Submitted by: Scout
Fic 1: she called it a void by vans88
Info: Star Wars, Finn/Poe/Rey
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493500
Scout’s comment: Short and powerful and essential to anyone's viewing of the new Star Wars trilogy. Seriously one of the most careful, tender, and graceful queer addendums to a piece of pop culture this decade.
Fic 2: The Love Song of The North American Douchebag by gyzym
Info: Star Trek RPF, Chris/Zach
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852395
Scout’s comment: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!
Fic 3: all this learning here is by you by decinq, nighimpossible
Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105441
Scout’s comment: Revolutionized – and I would argue – drove the GROWTH AND SURVIVAL of hockey fandom. One of the best known works in the fandom, and a masterclass in how to build a set of characters that you're genuinely envious you don't get to see or know. Two incredible authors and a plethora of personality. Fun and sexy and lighthearted but poignant. Chef kiss.
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Submitted by: Em
Fic 1: the subtle science and exact art of chess-boxing, by fishcola
Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931885/chapters/44945971
Em’s comment: fishcola is definitely one of the top reasons i actually started reading/writing polygon rpf. this fic!!!!! i sWEAR its so /so/ good oh my GOSH. yes, full disclosure im fish's beta for chessboxing but also i am enthusiastic simply because it is a very beautiful and powerful narrative on trauma, healing, and how the people we choose to interact with affect our emotions.
Fic 2: the old men call me by my mother’s name by theviolonist
Info: HP, Hermione/Ron
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044467
Em’s comment: as a certified Trans(TM) im always pursuing and consuming trans content. the old men call me by my mother's name is an hp fic that i still cherish years after first reading it. trans!ron is a concept not often explored in hp fic, much less trans /girl/ ron. massive gender feels, folks.
Fic 3: national hot dad alliance is now calling… by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor
Info: Haikyuu! , various
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683/chapters/13045579
Em’s comment: national hot dad alliance really is the perfect evolution of a groupchat fic. i laughed, i cried, i fell in love with the characters all over again as these captains from different teams bond over graduating. and also being Dads(TM). in some cases-- pining over their fellow volleyball players-- plus star wars, the x-files, and memes. overall its is very good and i will stan it eternally
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Submitted by: Staci
Fic 1: No Homo, by orphan account
Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2326073
Staci’s comment: Literally my favorite AU ever written. The characterization is SO on point and it truly is a super fun read. It’s also a super long which helps with painting such a detailed picture of these two dummies who are-totally-just-bros-with-added-benefits. I’d recommend this to anyone, even if they’re unaware of Teen Wolf, but if you’re a Teen Wolf fan then it’s even better.
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Submitted by: Nadine
Fic 1: Too Long, Too Close (series) by callmejude
Info: MCU RPF, Chris/Sebastian
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/253528
Nadine’s comment: kink exploration and bdsm done well.... and so thoroughly. but there's more! theres FEELINGSSSSSS uhhhhhhh it made me CRY it's so good.
Fic 2: On a Clear Day by Saras_Girl
Info: HP, Harry/Draco
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879841
Nadine’s comment: I could've put a few other fics by this author because they write the best drarry but uhhhhh. I had to choose and it was either gonna be TURN or this one. Idk why but this one makes me so unbelievably emotional bc it was Harry who's Going Through Stuff and I just loved it a lot.
Fic 3: around the world in eighty thousand days, by fallfreely
Info: 1D, Liam/Harry
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856935
Nadine’s comment: It was hard to pick a 1D fave but I think that this fic always had a v special place in my heart & I can't even explain why. I love the dynamic of this pairing (even though it's not even my OTP, wtf. I'm a Gryles and Narry truther... *eye emoji*) and the whole FEEL of this fic and it's slow burn tour fic, soo.
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Submitted by: Frecklebomb
Fic 1: Shalbatana
Info: Mars Trilogy, Gen
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629
Frecklebomb’s comment: A beautifully-written gen fic (with an incredibly gorgeous podfic by Luzula) in the near-future-scifi Mars Trilogy fandom but very easy to enjoy without canon knowledge. I revisit this story over and over and always marvel at the presence of the landscape and alien planet in it, the way it feels like a character. Bonus Mars rover feelings (I cry every time about the robot).
Fic 2: Through a Glass Darkly, by susiecarter
Info: DCU, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395793/chapters/46155535
Frecklebomb’s comment: Sprawling post-apocalyptic epic, so rich and cinematic that it feels like a movie I somehow read. The worldbuilding and tension of the focal ship are what sucked me into this fic, but what stayed with me was the richness of the ensemble characters. I find myself just thinking about their character arcs, and imagining what they'd be doing post-story. I want fic of this fic.
Fic 3: Too Far Down The Road, by SoniaVice
Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208136/chapters/30212907
Frecklebomb’s comment: An amnesia trope origfic set in handwavey hockey fandom (author said they 'set it free' to be OMC/OMC when the dynamic needed to be different from the RPF ship it started out as). It gives me so many good feelings about family (of choice and otherwise) and ageing and self-acceptance and sexuality, and the way you can choose to be changed by the people you spend your life with.
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Submitted by: Em (Springsteen)
Fic 1: Pull Me Under, by zarah5
Info: 1D, Harry/Louis
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766
Em’s comment: first of all zarah5 is a fandom legend. second, this is like the pinnacle of fake relationship fics to me it's 140k and so much of it is pining and like truly, who among us doesn't love harry styles with their whole heart. I can't think about the '10s without thinking about one direction and when this fic came out I remember a lot of people fully losing their minds.
Fic 2: Door to Door, by Ferritin4
Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478298
Em’s comment: this is one of the first hockey fics I ever read and I still come back to it so often. The relationship builds so well, Tyler's dogs are in it, it's just so sweet, and plus it's a very readable 10k.
Fic 3: Darling It Is No Joke, by thehoyden
Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399194
Em’s comment: look I can't be retrospective about this decade and /not/ include a sterek fic. the first half of this decade for me was all 1d and teen wolf and full disclosure, it's been a while since I've reread this fic, but I remember the banter being really stellar and thehoyden is another one of those authors who I just. Adore.
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Submitted by: Dan
Fic 1: The Heart Rate of a Mouse (series) by Anna (arctic_grey)
Info: Bandom, Ryan Ross/Brendan Urie
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/712953
Dan’s comment: This fic is incredibly iconic. It’s definitely one of my favorites of all time—the way the story is told is just heart wrenching, and it manages to always keep you on edge about what’s going to happen. The portrayal of self discovery, love, jealousy, down to the settings and all the social issues of the time period (the 70s), is amazingly done.
Fic 2: The Cat’s Miaow by Pennyplainknits
Info: Bandom, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930529
Dan’s comment: This fic is unlike anything else I’ve read. First off, I LOVE historical AUs, and the noir setting is everything I could have wanted and more. The author has managed to create such a delicate and profound romance along with an interesting plot that borders on thriller without ever going too far with either side of the story.
Fic 3: Get Real Get Right (Fuckin Right) by sophiahelix
Info: Riveyonce Cuoknowles, Sufjan Stevens/Drake
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9029020
Dan’s comment: Honestly? This is just art.
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Submitted by: Carina
Fic 1: Bite Marks by provocative_envy
Info: HP, Hermione/Draco
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580953/chapters/7894464
Carina’s comment: i've shied away from aus in harry potter fic for years, especially american college aus but this fic in my opinion kept the best of the characters and modernized them in a way that felt true to who they are.
Fic 2: old jokes from a wild youth, by knightspur
Info: SEVENTEEN RPF, Mingyu/Minghao
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127073
Carina’s comment: mingyu and minghao are in love, but they're not soulmates. i love the dynamics and the quiet intimacy between them, and also how they work through wanting to be together despite them not having a bond in the way soulmates have.
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Submitted by: Katy
Fic 1: The River and The Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure
Info: 1D, Harry/Niall
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005275
Katy’s comment: this fic honestly surpasses the genre of fic. it is a genre all its own. it is the pinnacle in catharsis and heartbreak and having a satisfying end that is completely unsatisfying as well. I will never recover from this fic.
Fic 2: Out of the Dead Land by Orphan Account
Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955
Katy’s comment: there is a specific phrase in this fic that has and will continue to stay with me. I will never hear the phrase "up or down" without feeling immense heartbreak. an amazing blend of source material to create something altogether its own - but could still take place in either canon
Fic 3: Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae
Info: BTS, Taehyung/Jimin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297168
Katy’s comment: this fic is one that I found more recently, but I can already tell that it is one that is going to stick with me for a long long time. it is another fic that I feel transcends the genre of fic entirely
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Submitted by: Corie
Fic 1: Build A Temple In Me by Authoress
Info: Haikyuu!, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716002
Corie’s comment: A wonderful and moving fanfic with fantasy akin to studio ghibli. If I have to recommend Haikyuu fanfiction this is it.
Fic 2: Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl
Info: Haikyuu!, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898771/chapters/8721568
Corie’s comment: Another haikyuu!! Fic! I remember reccing this to my friend and she said it was more akin to a novel then any fanfiction she has read. High praise IMO
Fic 3: Fake Sugar by minverse
Info: BTS, Jungkook/Seokjin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707098/chapters/33987549
Corie’s comment: Oh sweet god I love minverse’s writing and this fic has it all. Romance, smut, and a nice dollop of humor.
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Submitted by: Abby
Fic 1: an awful curse by blinkiesays
Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604092
Abby’s comment: Non-linear timeline, au within the story, "every me loves every you," domesticity but also heavy angst, and it's so beautifully written it makes me want to cry reading it. also it harkens back to the time of when the show was still good.
Fic 2: dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye
Info: Les Miserables, Enjorlas/Grantaire
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994140/chapters/1966093
Abby’s comment: It's such a great, understandable ensemble fic for a dense canon, with such a great modern day au setting, but the whole time it really deals with the main character's depression and alcoholism and the complete overwhelming love that he has for the guy he's shipped with. it's so gritty and real but the ending brings so much hope I love it.
Fic 3: comment fic by anon
Info: iCarly, Sam/Spencer
Link: https://author-abz.livejournal.com/35003.html
Abby’s comment: this is an ANONYMOUS comment fic someone wrote me when I was feeling down on LJ and it's so short but so complete, and it says everything it needs to about it being okay to mess up and just be messed up together. also: "glitter emergency" (technically a cheat, it's from 2008; I forgot it was so old)
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Submitted by: Kassie
Fic 1: An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky
Info: Supernatural, Dean/Castiel
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535676
Kassie’s comment: an exercise in worthless introduced me (indirectly) to my favorite musician and (directly) to the subject i almost minored in during undergrad, so honestly i would put it as a fic of the decade even if it wasn’t one of the best fics i read in the supernatural fandom.
Fic 2: Superstition (series) by Superstition_hockey
Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/413233
Kassie’s comment: superstition started out as a tropey, fun, lighthearted short fic, and grew into a big thing that deals with a lot of serious topics incredibly well while also being still very funny and emotional and having honestly some of my favorite fictional characters i’ve read in years
Fic 3: United States v. Barnes
Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2304905/chapters/5071058
Kassie’s comment: united states v barnes is the multimedia fic of my DREAMS. this is what i want to show people to explain why i love fanfic so much. it does so much with the medium its working in and the presentation of the fic, and fits that perfect fanfic niche of exploring the kind of background that will never appear in canon but that everyone wonders about.
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Submitted by: Kat
Fic 1: I’ve felt and I’ve Been by autotunedd
Info: Big Bang RPF, Seunghyun/Jiyong
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349758/chapters/35616516
Kat’s comment: Possibly the fic that marked my entire decade. The characters are so human and real, the plot is heavy and winding and the twists sometimes seem life ending. It is heavy, it is painful, it is sad, it is angsty, it is maybe even a smidge too real and dangerous at times, but it makes a solid read, a long, relatable novel about real people with real fears and problems.
Fic 2: Eversion by thespectaclesofthor
Info: Detroit: Become Human, Hank Anderson/Connor
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754140/chapters/36638253
Kat’s comment: Beautiful, long, detailed, well written, hard hitting, serious, sweet, painful, kinky, all in one! The characters have so much depth, their issues and inner workings seem so real and the plot is so carefully crafted and detailed, every chapter keeps you at the edge of your seat. All in all, beautifully crafted, passionate, hard hitting piece that I couldn't help falling in love with.
Fic 3: Eggshell Landscapes and the Burden of Love by NoContractTermination
Info: NCT RPF, Taeil/Johnny
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446438
Kat’s comment: Short, sweet, angsty and charming! I loved the intimate look into their relationship this fic brings, the trials and tribulations and the struggle to communicate. It all seemed so raw and real and coupled with the author's beautiful writing, it all came together in a perfect read, with bounds of re-read potential.
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Submitted by: Wen
Fic 1: the bellwether by highoctane
Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634426
Wen’s comment: Feelings!!! It's really refreshing to read a character who, as an established adult, is reconfiguring an understanding of himself without it being either a whole crisis or a sudden seamless lightbulb moment. It's very fair to both characters' emotions, letting them both react in a way that feels wonderfully human and real rather than idealistic.
Fic 2: Five Times the Potion Seller Refused to Sell a Potion (and One Time He Didn’t) by misura
Info: Potion Seller (Justin Kuritzkes Short Film), Knight/Potion Seller
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5441447
Wen’s comment: It's based on a 3 minute meme video and if it was just a tweet or post with the title alone it would be a great joke but... someone went and wrote the dang thing! And it could have been ridiculous crackfic, and while it certainly toes that line it's also got a really fun flow of dialogue that leaves a lot to the imagination without it getting confusing.
Fic 3: I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town by Daniel Lavery
Info: The Untitled Goose Game, gen
Link: https://www.shatnerchatner.com/p/i-am-the-horrible-goose-that-lives
Wen’s comment: the writing is tremendous and sits beautifully in that razor's edge space where english is used just strangely enough to create a fantastic character voice without going too far and falling into some kind of awkward english language uncanny valley. it's so hard to pick out the best line because every line is the best line. "Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose."
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Submitted by: Mage
Fic 1: Fog, Sheets and Thunder by theopteryx
Info: My Chemical Romance RPF, Frank/Gerard
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351396
Mage’s comment: i have literally thought about this fic at least once a week since i read it in 2012. do not ask me why. i have no answers.
Fic 2: Flowers in Bones by fringecity (indiachick)
Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256390
Mage’s comment: sometimes i just wanna be a careful selection of small animal bones that yoongi gently unearths and meticulously crafts into an altar of pressed flowers and ink
Fic 3: It Happened Quiet by hobimo
Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070646/chapters/34939646
Mage’s comment: haunted woods :) cryptids :) that deeply unsettling feeling that there are greater, mysterious forces at work and there's nothing you can do about it :)
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Submitted by: BirdieLeonie
Fic 1: Reprise (series) by Elfpen
Info: Star Wars, various (Obi-Wan centric)
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408
BirdieLeonie’s comment: I spent about seven months of my life reading nothing but Star Wars time-travel fix-it fics. (I am not exaggerating; there are enough of them to last that long or longer.) This is my favorite.
Fic 2: Friday Night Arrives Without a Suitcase by marycontraire
Info: Hockey RPF, Danny Briere/Claude Giroux
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534247
BirdieLeonie’s comment: This is a fic I have kept coming back to again and again in the years since I first read it. It's domestic and sweet and still adult. It's like curtainfic, inverted; the leads live together and parent their kids and go grocery shopping before they have a romantic or sexual relationship.
Fic 3: The Hero’s Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer (podfic), by artzbots, blackglass, daroos, girlwithabubblegun, kalakirya, Opalsong, reena_jenkins, RsCreighton, sabinelagrande
Info: MCU & Welcome to Night Vale, Jemma Simmons/Jasper Sitwell
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462223
BirdieLeonie’s comment: I love podfic, I love crossovers, and I love this fic. Again, I picked this because of all the thousands of MCU fics I've read, this is the one I find myself coming back to repeatedly. This crossover is creative, fun, and plays with one of my favorite tropes: what was happening to a minor character in the background of the story we saw?
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I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?
(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?
(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤
Hi Nonny!
First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.
In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations.
I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)
So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”.
If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.
ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.
You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL.
Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And – this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:
Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!
Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future.
As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!
Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about.
Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!
Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!
P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD
#steph replies#my advice#fan fiction#authorial intent vs reader interpretation#my thoughts#Anonymous
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what are your favorite writers and your top favorite works from them?? like a top ten
I saw this ask in the middle of work and I wanted to scream aksldfjalks I’m gonna tell you rn that I got really overwhelmed with the amount of authors that have earned a spot in my top favs that I actually cut this to just the authors that I have most recently visited (this counts as returning multiple times to reread a certain fic… which happens… a lot)
@arckook Ria is one of the first authors I ever read from for k-pop fanfiction. Until Ria, I was just highkey on that Haikyuu volleyball gays/imagines and I’d like to believe that she was one of the main reasons why I began to invest myself heavily into the kpop fandom. I’m always amazed with each piece she releases. Her style is so unique and hypnotizing. There’s a big section in my heart reserved just for Ria that I don’t have enough words to convey. plz support. plz love. she’s the best
- To The Stars (Jungkook, BTS): Zombie Apocalypse AU, Enemies to Lovers AU, series, violence, angst, drama
This read is not for the light hearted. You have been warned. You will sob hysterically. You will feel rage seep into your bones. You will punch a hole in your screen. MC is an entire badass, but so broken and vulnerable; somehow she manages to keep herself together and carry on. Even when she hates Jungkook with every cell in her body, she makes sure to keep him alive, watch his six, just as he does for her. There’s only a handful of works that have kept me as heavily invested and on my toes every step of the way. And that list begins with To The Stars
@brokeandjetlagged I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made a fool out of myself in public while reading Bailey’s work…. like lord help me I can’t stay in my chair…
- We Take A Shot (Baekhyun, EXO): Office AU, boss!Baekhyun, one-shot, fluff
Even after re-reading it 2-3 times, I cannot help the obnoxious laughter escaping my mouth….sounding something along the lines of a screeching seagull. Dorky Baekhyun trying to be Mr. Businessman really killed me. LIKE PLZ THE HOVER BOARD asdfjsj I’m laughing just thinking about it
- Hurt Me, Heal Me (Yixing, EXO): Hospital AU, nurse!Yixing, one-shot, fluff
Honestly, I would pay to be Baekhyun in that moment. Someone kick me in the face if that meant I could spend some time with nurse Yixing. He’s so adorable and I highly relate to MC being a mess when he thinks that she’s Baek’s girlfriend. Overall, this fic makes my heart go kyuu~
- Bromance .2 (Minseok, EXO) : College AU, frat!Minseok, enemies to lovers AU, series (ish), fluff, smut, drama
enemies to lovers…. honestly I’m not entirely sure of what to say other than that you should read it
@sehun-smut ngl. one of the reasons, besides me passing out, that this rec list took so long to make is bc I stopped to re-read both of these fics…. no ragrats… I don’t think you’ll understand until you read all of their work… so like… you know what to do…
- Business in the Front (Baekhyun,EXO): Restaurant AU (ish), one-shot, smut
Older Baekhyun is a kink okay. I’ve never wanted to call someone daddy more in my life than while reading this fic… and like to begin with it’s hard for me to imagine Baek being zaddy, so that should say A LOT.
- Deceitful (Chanyeol, EXO) - Mafia AU, series, smut, violence
I think this is the first honeytrapper fic I’ve ever read in my life. I mean I was aware of the job description but not the actual title. I must say I’m thoroughly aroused and equally terrified.
@exhoe-imagines I really adore Ruby and Jewels. Like, they’re so funny and interactive with their followers; and their content is always breath taking. highkey power couple energy
- Can’t Hold Back (Jongdae, EXO): Enemies to Lovers AU, one-shot, smut, drama, slight angst
You already know Jongdae is fucked the minute he sees MC’s bathing suit on the ground while she’s in the pool. You already know that when he went home that evening, his meat was begging for mercy by the end of the night. jfladskjf okay I’m gross, I know, but carrying on– the growth between Jongdae’s and MCs relationship is really heartwarming. Could not have asked for more from this fic
- Lucky (Baekhyun + Chanyeol, EXO): College AU, one-shot, smut
So…. let’s talk about the elephant in the room… or should we say two? bc there is definitely more than one trunk for MC to handle… so…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GET WREKT MC
@yehet-me-up I will never not be in love with Sarah. Her Exodus Mall series really takes me back home. Often times when I’m feeling down and sick, I return to Sarah’s page and re-read that series. To say the least, I find home in Sarah’s writing.
- The Problem With Wanting (Kyungsoo, EXO): Mall AU, series, fluff, slight angst, smut
listen to this song and just take it in…. I think this was the first fic I read from the Exodus series and it will always hold a special place in my heart. This fic in particular is what I find myself coming back to again and again, time after time, and I always feel renewed. I feel youthful. More like… you know that feeling you get when you realize you’re falling in love with someone? That’s this. Please read. Please.
- Disqualified (Kyungsoo, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, one-shot, angst, fluff
Imagine twisting a knife in your gut and slowly removing it through the opposite side of your body. That’s this fic. But like. With love. askdjflksjd I really love the way Sarah portrays Kyungsoo. Her descriptions of his thoughts, mannerisms and quirks make me feel like I’m watching a movie. Everything is so distinct and the atmosphere feels tangible. idk words. I just love Sarah.
@snakescript I don’t know too much about this author but I’m totally and completely enamored with their writings.
- Make The Devil Cry (Taeyong, NCT) : College AU, one-shot, light angst, smut
I’m weak for the “playboy” tamer… and tbh I feel like this would be Taeyong irl. Hard and complex to the eyes of an observer, but a major softy and sweet pea to the eyes of a listener. I’m upset of how little attention this fic has bc the world is really missing out on a diamond.
- Face Like Thunder (Chanyeol, EXO): Mythology/Greek God AU, one-shot, light angst, fluff
I would like to file a complaint. My heart is crying and my love for Chanyeol is soaring and I’m ACHE FOR THE MAN. Lmao I’m not even a Chanyeol stan but this fic got me thinkin’
@johobi you can always count on Jo to make you cream your pants in the middle of Target (stay away from the baby section kids)
- Bloom / Snared (Yoonji/Yoongi, BTS): Mafia AU, smut
honestly, Yoonji can wipe the floor with my body, in pool of my own blood, and I would thank her. I really really love the way Jo depicts Yoonji here. I can just feel that fem fetal power and that in itself got me ruining my underwear.
- Tooth and Claw (Jungkook, BTS) : Werewolf AU, smut
I’ve never related to furry more in my life than while I read this fic. high key wanna be rawed and torn in half by his king kong schlong … idk how MC survived, but she’s my idol.
- Dig Deep + Interval (Yoongi, BTS): Space AU, smut
I’m ngl. I really went to Pornhub and looked up tentacle porn after reading this. Y’all can @ me, roast me if you like,,,, but you’re a got-damn liar if you say this doesn’t get your blood pumping. p sure I wrote this on my tags but i didn’t even know I liked tentacle porn until then…. I hate myself
@bread-jinie idk where to start…. there are so many things I can say about Kat…… im tongue-tied….
- Wings (Chanyeol, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, angst, fluff
I think this fic is my favorite work Kat has written so far. It’s like she knows the right words to tug the strings of my heart and play me like a puppet. A heartbroken but hopeful puppet. MC and Chanyeol always looking at each other but never at the same time breaks me; thankfully, the ending patches me back together.
Honorable mentions bc I’ve grown v tired and cannot continue with full details for info regarding everything, in addition to the fact that I’m inpatient and I want to post this ASAP:
@kollectionn GOD SENT. DO NOT PLAY AROUND. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. THE WORLD WILL END AS YOU KNOW IT. THEN BE REBORN FROM THE ASHES AS C WILLS IT SO. (sorry for the all caps but I feel INTENSELY about C and her works of art; If I can recall correctly, I believe she said that she would begin to write her own non-fanfic when she finds the time. I think she has the power and ability to write best selling novels that would leave J.K. Rowling quaking in her boots. Plz go and love C. Don’t ask for updates. Just show her all the love she deserves and more; I haven’t been lately and I feel terrible for it; I hope she knows I love her!!!)
@dropsofletters lemme tell you somm’… this author is so talented and diverse in her work that I find myself scattered with the amounts of fandom’s she holds in her clutch. I’m so thankful to have found her page on this godforsaken website bc she caters so much to this world. Talented. Spectacular. Amazing. Blessing to Society. I don’t think I’ve found any multi-fandom writers that has spread out as far as she has. She’s one of those authors that has exactly what you’re looking for, even if you don’t know what it is. An Angel.
@layhyunnie beautiful. ethereal. whimsical. Inspiring. I mean literally inspiring. I wrote a few drabbles after reading Guardian bc I wanted to try and bring to life a world outside of our own, to step outside reality, just like I felt while reading their work.
- Guardian (Yixing, EXO): Supernatural AU, series, fluff
Again… I’m v tired… so here’s a short list of authors I meant to add here, along with their fics/full details of why I love them:
@knockknocksoosthere / @underthejoon @marshmallow-phd @kpopfanfictrash @yeolology @yeolology @whimsical-ness @remembeo @lofiexo @nochugguk @noona-clock @noonachronicles @oilblotter @soobadnoonecanstopher
((If you would like to know more about my interests in the unfinished authors, or any authors above for that matter, then please leave me an ask!! I will answer them when I am no longer tired akjsjdf I cannot reply via chat as this is only a side blog))
#i hate u anon#did u really wanna kill me#jk sjfdsdjf#i cant hate u#i hope you like it ;;#also at all the authors i've reblogged from... you are my favorite.... im just v tired and only have 2 brain cells left#paep speaks#asks#anon#exo#bts#exo fic recs#bts fic recs
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hey do u have any ways u force urself to write. i need to write this fucking faulkner paper and like ik i can and itll be good once i do it i just need to Do It its already like 900 years late. im loving yahfhskjd law so so so so much btw i rlly love ur characterization for den and the whole fic is just so endearing and enjoyable like theres heaviness to it but its not like overbearingly angsty and its just rlly fun to read
i have some advice but it might not be universal or healthy (lol) and it differs heavily based on what i’m writing
fic writing is for fun, and that’s why i try to remember when i’m doing it. sometimes it becomes obsessive (because i have ocd, and because i love validation, and that’s quite the line to tread lmao) but ultimately i do it because i love it/i have shit to say/stories drum in my fingers until i get them out, even if it takes time. i’m glad you love it!!!! if people didn’t i’d get demoralized way more often! with fic writing, usually i can’t force myself to do anything until i know the basics of what i want down - right now i’m stuck on a scene b/t charlie and mac because i know what i want them to get out of it, but i have no idea what the outside context of the overall conversation will be. usually in that case, i just have to wait it out.
inspo will come to me when it comes, maybe from binge watching the show, maybe from watching smth else, maybe from a convo i have irl or a dream or what have you. in the meantime i write as much around it as i possibly can. i’ve currently written every single scene for the next chapter that either came easily or at least didn’t come extremely difficultly, and once i have part of a scene down i usually let the characters’ voices follow me through the rest of it…sometimes you just have to let them run free. writing fic for me is often a solid push and pull of me nudging the characters down the path i want them to take, but mostly i just sit there and imagine them talking, and see what they say. i have to parse apart exactly how i think they’d say it, but i can get a fair amount of their tone and message just from listening to them have the convo in my head. not to be extremely embarrassing on main but when i was obsessed with twilight, stephenie meyer basically said this in her faq and it really resonated with me lmao. this applies to original fiction btw too. that’s why its often easy to finish a scene once i’ve begun it, if i can get a piece of the convo than usually i can build outward - give me a snippet of a convo and i can begin to see their location, what started this convo, and their motivations. i’ll have to trim it down to fit their tone/how often they lie/how difficult they find it to express themselves later, but after i get it all out, it’s easier to cut away the ooc parts until you’re left with glances to convey what used to be a paragraph and what have you
can’t write a sex scene? have a drink or two and write it all spelling errors and all, it’s usually way dirtier than i intended too but you can clean ALL that up and make it in-character in editing
academic writing was never nearly as difficult for me, especially once i got to college. pretty much everyone i know used adderall to write essays, and i sat down a few times expecting to do that myself, but i ultimately never ended up needing it. in high school i was smart enough to more or less make shit up to get through it (i always say the only thing i learned in high school is how to bullshit effectively) but in college you get to pick your research topics, or they’ll hand you a book and tell you to pick whatever part of it you want to write about, so i usually latched on to one snippet of interest and expanded from there (many of my essays were about how the characters were secretly gay or more or less feminist than they should be, as you can imagine)
i was never much for formal outlines, and i DON’T subscribe to the 5 paragraph essay format, but i usually made a basic outline in my notebook so i’d remember to hit all the points i wanted to make/be able to steer myself back on course when i started rambling abt something. usually i have an overarching point, and like 2 supporting arguments that i go into HEAVY detail about and probably have some supporting arguments about them within themselves. make an outline that lists your thesis and your 2 or 3 main points. if you CAN easily, write down some supporting arguments for those main points, but don’t get caught up on it.
how do i start? just sit down and fuckin start. deadass. tell yourself that if you finish before 8pm you can smoke a bowl or something, then smoke a bowl after you’re done regardless of the time. then sit down and just start typing, WHEREVER your mind wants to begin. let it, it’s way easier to follow your motivation than try to corral it, you’ll just end up giving yourself writer’s block
intros are easy. don’t worry too much about starting them; you can come up with a catchy first sentence way later (same with a catchy ending sentence; i still CANNOT write last lines for the life of me). for your intro literally just say: These 2 or 3 things are connected, actually, and I think they connect in a specific way to prove [thesis]. you can bulk out the intro later, but MOVE ON. that’s not the important part of the essay, at all. if your thesis can’t be turned into a question THAT YOU THEN ANSWER, then it needs to be bulked out. you should be able to make it a question, for example: Why is Emily Dickinson a lesbian? becomes “Dickinson’s lesbianism is the driving force behind her decisions to do x, y, and z” in which x y & z are the main points of your essay.
don’t worry too much about sources or quotes. i can’t tell you how many times i just made arguments in essays and then put in brackets [find a throwaway quote about x to support this later], then highlighted the text so it’d stand out and i’d remember to get back to it later. then MOVE ON.
don’t get caught up in anything, not grammar, not specifics, not finding the perfect segue between paragraphs. just try to get down everything you have to say FIRST, or you’ll bog yourself down and lose steam. sit there until you’re done making your points, then take a break
conclusions are easy. scroll back up to your intro. what does it say? put that back down, exactly, and bulk it out a little by referencing some points in the main paragraphs of your essay. if your intro just said “x y and z is true” then your conclusion should say “her woodcarving shows x is true, the fact that the moon was full that day is why y is true. these two things make z true”
go back and find sources/quotes to plug into all the times you wrote [find a throwaday quote]
TAKE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE OFF. if you try to edit and expand immediately, you WILL fail to catch things. if you’re a little unfamiliar with your own writing, you’ll be able to catch things like spelling errors, things that make so little sense you have no idea what you were trying to say, times you forgot to plug in a quote, or when a transition sounds a little like a record scratching instead of playing smoothly
if you’re really pressed for time: just fucking send it in without doing a second reread, because FUCK IT. getting it done is more important than perfectionism; fixing those last straggling spelling errors gets you +2 points whereas being a day late loses a letter grade
most importantly: WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT. if you’re only getting specific prompts, try to twist it as best you can until you give a fuck about it, it’s WAY easier to write about shit that matters to you. i LOVED twisting prompts until suddenly this boring ass white boy book is secretly about this minor female character that appeared on 2 pages, and after awhile i got really fucking good at it.
just sit down and start writing. you’ve got to start somewhere, even if you end up erasing and rewriting the starting point later. at least you’ve got the ball rolling.
#not to geek out and go full english major but i miss writing argumentative essays#like medium key#holy SHIT!! why is this an essay in and of itself like you didn't even ask lmao#fic stuff#yl#college#book tag#anon#ask
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Hey! So sorry if you already answered this but what application and tablet do you use??
I use Easy Paint Tool SAI and a pretty old wacom intuos tablet! Both questions are answred in my faq, actually~
Anon said:You. You awesome person. You are my new fav artist. 💘💘💘
AW thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:I love your art and the style, it’s all so cute and it might give me a heart attack
He c k let’s hope not! Thank you so so much!!! ;^;
Anon said:hey, can ya do more tokage, pls
Sure, I mean to draw more 1B in the future anyway~
Anon said:nori is soo adorable!! I love your art and seromina so much and seeing them combined makes me mega happy!!! I gotta ask though, how are sero and mina as parents and how do they handle nori’s quirk?
They’re disasters as parents but they try their best and are always having fun - Nori adores them! In their house not a minutes goes by without someone laughing, they’re all super loud and cheerful always~ neither of them has any problem dealing with Nori’s quirk, Sero has spent a whole lifetime learning how to deal with sticky stuff and tape and glue so he knows all the tricks to save clothes and furniture from accidental quirk usage and so on, while Mina’s own quirk makes it easy to counter any glue that might end on her - the main thing actually is that the quirk itself was a surprise! Since Nori looks a lot like Mina, both she and Sero had expected her to have acid like Mina so when she started gluing herself around in places and walking along walls and stuff it was a surprise (they had expected to have to deal with the house being constantly half destroyed by acid though, so glue is nothing compared to that haha)
Anon said:Heyy I saw your twitter account and was wondering if you could link some of those “fics about them boys sharing a bed..“ I’ve been following you for a while now and absolutely love your work (: I hope you don’t mind lol. I need more kiribaku in my life gahaha ❤️ thanks !!
I didn’t really bookmark any and most were old things I had read in the past and spent time rereading lately, but the newest one I read is this one - honestly though at this point 99% of the fics set in the dorms have them sharing a bed, you just need to open ao3 and scroll down less than a page to find stuff lol
Anon said:If you’re not an Adventure Time fan this ask will make no sense to you (so skip it), but when I saw your drawing of Katsuki with a guitar, I immediately thought he was singing some edgy Marceline song, like the teasing-aggressive “I wanna bury you in the ground / I wanna bury you with my sound” (which he actually says at some point I think XD) or the romantic and melancholic “Slow Dance with You” and Eijirou M-E-L-T-S.
Not an AT fan, but the concept is adorable so I’m keeping the ask anyway
Anon said:Do you think you might draw more of your fantasy AU children while you’re playing with you’re new pencil tool? It would be neat if you did! Regardless, I’m grateful for anything you draw!
Yup! Can’t promise when it’ll happen but I love the fantasy AU and I love childhood friends AU, so the chances of me going back on it are pretty high!
Anon said:Are you going to draw Mako and Taiyou again? They are so wonderful.
YAH that’s definitely in the near future plans! Thank you for liking them!!
Anon said:I just…I love all your art. It’s so amazing you’re awesome
THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! ;^;
Anon said:Stavo scorrendo il tuo blog e ho notato che hai risposto ad una domanda in italiano? Ho seriamente pensato fossi inglese tutto questo tempo! Amo seriamente i tuoi disegni, i tuoi oc sono meravigliosi e non vedo l'ora di scoprire più di loro.
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH grazie infinite omfg ;^; specialmente per i miei oc, è sempre incredibile per me sapere che alla gente piacciono abbastanza da volerli vedere di più ;^;
Anon said:Hewwo! I’m a huge fan of your artwork!! I was wondering if you have any time could you draw some more of those dorm room scenarios?
Anon I’m sorry but I need you to be more specific, which dorm room scenarios are you talking about? Most of my comics at this point are set in the dorms hahaha
Anon said:I just noticed that on every artwork you sign “do not repost” and I hate it.I don’t hate that you do it, but the fact you NEED to do it. Artists all over the Internet say to not repost their art but people still do it…I hope this will stop someday Sorry for my english btw
Yeah well, I guess as long as people keep on following and giving notes to reposters that’s not really gonna change is it orz
Anon said:You should draw Present Mic x Aizawa *awkward finger guns*
Hell I really should, shouldn’t I
Anon said:my god im gay for your kiribaku like they’re so good aibdjsbsknwnx and i love the interactions between the bakusquad ahh keep being awesome :)
HECK THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
Anon said:Honestly, this might be an odd question I don’t know, but would you ever consider putting your art together in a art book to sell? Cause to be honest, there’s not a piece by you that I don’t adore and I’ve seen some artist do things like that before so I didn’t know if that was something you’d consider. Maybe like all your BNHA pieces or something?
It’s not like I never considered it? It’s more like I dunno how worth all the work to figure out how to make it/where to print it and then to actually make it would be compared to the interest people would have in buying something they can have for free on my blog? It’s just doodles after all haha
Anon said:Would you be willing to draw a little lavi (dgm) doodle for me? Anything tiny, I just love him and your art!!!
I’m not doing requests right now, sorry, but soon enough the new chapter is coming out so I might draw him around then!!! I always fall in a serious dgm mood around the time of the chapter release haha
Anon said:More abuse of the ask function: 1- I love your art and have been for months. On top of that, it often feels cathartic, which is amazing to me. 2- I love how balanced you can make KiriBaku. You even manage to make me appreciate that overrated attention hogger that is Bakugou, you can handle him so much better than the author, because your character dynamics make so much more sense!! 3- I always, ALWAYS find myself reading through all your tags. They’re awesome. Thank you for everything.//Avevo finito lo spazio nell'ask precedente, so I’d only like to add that aside from cutie-smoochy (“It’s not about whether you break” and “I don’t need you” might be my favorite, and for what’s worth, I remember writing something exactly like the latter in the past), you also make mu burst into laughter. Like, the comic where Katsuki is about to out Eijirou on his red hair, I am still rolling. Kiri’s giant mouth is seriously hysterical XD
Thank you for the compliments!! I’m glad I can make you like a character and a relationship you’re not much of a fan of in the actual manga? ? ? Bakugou’s actually one of my favorite characters ever though so………. maybe……….don’t offend him and the way Horikoshi writes him while talking to me………….orz
Anon said:I am starved for Bakukamikiri stuff in this fandom……..But you got some good shit.
I’m!!! happy to be able to help there!!!! haha
Anon said:They mama Mitsuki art you drew 👏💯💖☺️💕👌 I love your art so much
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Yessssss you have Twitter! It is boring at the beginning but then you’ll love it! I can’t wait to see you here and there! Now all my Bakushima favorite artist have one I can die of happiness!!
I’m!!!!!!!!!! Still trying to figure it out but!!!!!!!! For now it’s not that bad? Just!!! Very different from tumblr so I’ll need to get used to it first!!!!
Anon said:Omg do u shade jirous hair like its a heartbeat line? Dhdisbdisb thats so fuckibg good
THANK she actually has it in canon too, tho, so I can’t take credit for this!!!
Anon said:Im crying on how you draw kirishima’s soft hair
S O B I’m glad you like it!! ;^;
Anon said:Can I ask what your stance is on bakugo’s mom being abusive and sorry if you’ve answered this before
I love Mitsuki with my whole heart and while I don’t think she’s perfect I do think she’s loving and caring and trying her best and always looking out for what’s best for Bakugou 👍 no abuse anywhere, for me
Anon said:OMG I LOVE SEROMINA LOVE CHILD NORI
Thank you for liking her???? heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:I wish I could use your art for my phone’s background ;^; You’re amazing! I love youuuuuuuuuu
No one’s stopping you from doing that, anon!!! Unless you don’t have a phone that allows you backgrounds, in which case ;-; thank you for liking my stuff that much tho!!
Anon said:Hey! I followed you way back when your main output was haikyuu!! comics and once you started putting out more bnha, i had to unf because i had no idea who everyone was rip. but now that ive finally had the chance to watch it i’m glad to come back and see how much you’ve improved!
HECK THANK YOU???? I’m glad you decided to come back????? oh man that’s super flattering !!!
Anon said:Yolo bakusquad bakubowl ?
I don’t really like the whole concept of [character]bowl, sorry!
Anon said:I absolutely adore your art style😍 every time I see your art it makes me happy:)
THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Can you draw Hawks and Tokoyami together? You are rlly creative and amazing! So I believe you will produce sth. awesome!!!! (If you don’t want to draw Hawks, could you draw a Tokoyami fusion?)
I can draw that! I’m just waiting to know how tall Hawks is compared to him before doing that 👍 be patient pls relative heights are something I’m stupidly fussy about
Anon said:Burn the whole world to ashes for you? R U serius?! You always killing me dude. I ascended to the heaven of soft things. I N C R E D I B L E. Im sorry for the break down, i was without tumblr 2 months and the firts thing i do is go to your profile. Keep doing this plis im trully love it 😭💖
mAN I’m so glad you liked that one this much, drawing the boys being unreasonably soft with each other is my fav thing to do tbh !!!
Anon said:Omg I can totally imagine Nori and bakushima’s daughter being friends!!!
THEY ARE !!!!!!!
Anon said:Your seromina is amazing!!! I love that ship I feel like it is so underrated! Thank you for this blessed image!! 😭
No prob!! thank you for liking it!!!!!!! I’ve been in such a seromina mood lately, I might actually draw more soon enough!!
Anon said:Omg imagine a Tetsuwase love child. Something tells me they’d be adorable and one rather angry child, considering who their fathers are
I can see them as being quiet and grumpy………. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Anon said:Hey just wanted to tell you I love your art. It’s so soft and beautiful. My dad doesn’t ship any characters from the series, but he does like the series and he thinks your art and style are really pleasing. We were talking about how nicely you shade and that the style is well developed and lovely to look at. Thanks for making such great art that makes me smile and giving me and my dad yet another thing to bond over.
YO THAT’S SUCH A COOL THING TO HEAR!!!! Thank you to both you and your dad for liking my stuff????? h e c k !!!!!
Anon said:Thanks to you I started reading haikyuu.
I hope you’re enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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