#im also wish washy so who knows

[shyshitter]

time for cozy kisses!!!!

[steampunkedparm]

i really need to get better at setting boundariessss

[wc-confessions]

I have a few,, that are on my mind, so im just gonna put them here

I wish the Erins actually went in depth about why Frecklewish's status in StarClan was changed. that would have been SO COOL to see if maybe she was framed, or maybe Mapleshade trapped her there, or maybe she was just annoying in StarClan and knowing StarClan they just banished her without a second thought. none of this wishy-washy "oh well she didnt do anything when the river was flooded, its not like that would have just added another dead body into the mix ig idk", yeah she's a character that has done some things that are not morally right but she doesnt get excited when kits die ffs.

I like seeing Mapleshade, she's our only long-standing female villain and it makes me really happy to see her. except when she's with thistleclaw. I hope she mauled him to death in the dark forest when she found out about Spottedpaw.

I wish warriors had more non-conforming characters. characters that directly challenged leaders and didnt give a fuck about clan order. SkyClan is really cool to me for that because they have weird names, have an interesting new role that would be so helpful in the other clans, and they just... I love them. I also love Squirrelflight because she fights Brambleclaw about all his shitty decisions. fuck anyone who says that she was in the wrong for that, Brambleclaw needs to get his act together.

Erins stop getting young female characters together with older male ones i will eat your shoelaces.

it always confuses me when people say spottedleaf continued thistleclaws cycle of abuse because like... in the books where she was alive, she barely talked to Firestar. like... the rest of it was a retcon. a dumb retcon that made her look creepy but a retcon at that. she didnt at all show any affection towards firestar. they were like coworkers.

I wish we had more cats that were a) willingly healers and b) were EVIL healers. IMAGINE THE POTENTIAL...

I hate to admit this but for some really odd reason I do like LeafCrow. not in the "oh hes done nothing wrong!!" idea, but because I have this really specific fanon idea of Crow in my brain that's just... idk, i have no idea why i like it, idk why i like crow, mothpool is better, but its just in my brain and it wont go away.

i liked bluestars prophecy, squirrelflights hope, and yellowfangs secret. maybe its because i read them when i was a little younger and i have an attachment to the characters but minus sandstorms comment in SH that ruined my perception of her I liked reading them. Yay bluestar being a character thats mentally ill and has had a pattern of this thats really really relatable, yay squirrelflight fighting brambleclaw and choosing what's right, YAY yellowfang, just yay yellowfang.

and finally, transmasc Hollyleaf and transfem Lionblaze. i love them dearly.

.

[consumeronionbulletin]

One Spring Night (2019)

There are alot of things to like about this show, but it had some issues and may not be for everyone. Also, the first episode was very slow and hard to get through.

What Worked

The leads are great. There are some plot lines, especially with the older sister and her abusive husband that are difficult to watch, but also difficult to look away from. The show doesn't flinch about showing messy people and how they cause problems in the lives of those around them. And the cinematography is really good.

Something that kind of worked, but kind of didn't was the way the writer compared the two mail leads as potential love interests. One was a solid choice in terms of money and security, but had a weak personality. The other was a completely gamble as far as money, status, etc. but was also kind of nurturing. Throughout the show, the FL was forced to choose between someone who could make her father happy, or someone who could make herself happy. It's not really the kind of dramatic choices that I really care about, but it did make me think.

What Didn't Work

This show definitely suffered from main character syndrome. Everything was about the two leads and their story. Every conversation, even between two side characters who were unrelated, eventually lead back to the main loveline.

I would have found it more tedious, but in my mind I decided that it was an editing choice rather than poor storytelling. The secondary characters all have lives of their own, it's just that the audience isn't allowed to see it. Our camera only picks up on these characters when they're talking about the main leads. It's still not great, but it was an accommodation I made to keep watching.

The other issue was the stupid drawn out love triangle. At least it felt more realistic in that it wasn't an actual love triangle, it was just one guy who was obsessed with his ex, who was a bit wishy-washy.

The Performances

Han Ji-min as "the librarian" Lee Jeong-in. Really great chemistry with the male lead. Some good moments, but also so moments that felt a little flat. The character was written as very passive, especially at the start of the show, but it came across as someone who just didn't seem to know what she wanted, rather than someone who wants something they don't think they should be allowed to have. And maybe that passivity is the performance the director wanted, but it wasn't really fun to watch.

Jung Hae-in as "the pharmacist" Yoo Ji-ho. Really good chemistry with Han Ji-min. Alot of moments where he showed real depth and a range of emotions. I liked him better in Something in the Rain but still fun to watch.

Kim Jun-han as "the ex-boyfriend" Kwon Gi-seok. I think the actor did everything he needed to do, but he was just not able to make this character interesting. I know you can't cast someone too handsome / charismatic or it makes the second lead look too good of an option, but I can't think of a single scene where his character and Han Ji-min's character ever felt like a couple. Some of that was on the writer, but not all of it.

Joo Min-kyung as "baby sister" Lee Jae-in. Really funny actor that was good to watch. She was one of the few secondary characters that managed to break out of this main character syndrome, at least temporarily.

Song Seung-hawn as "the worst father" Lee Tae-hak. I despised this character, which means the actor did a good job. Was really believable as such an ordinary weak, mediocre and small minded person. I kind of wish he'd gotten more grief during the series, but I was glad they didn't "redeem" him either.

Im Sung-eon as "oldest sister" Lee Seo-in. This character was kind of in her own show, a terrible thriller / horror movie with an evil husband who will not go away. The actor did a great job with such a heavy topic and making it hit home. I would have liked more including some moments of levity, but this was not the kind of show that treated its secondary characters very well.

Lee Moo-saeng as "evil husband" Nam Si-hoon. A well written, well played, and completely despicable character. I didn't want more of this guy in the drama, but I was also glued to my screen for nearly every scene he was in.

Gil Hae-yeon as "the mother" Shin Hyung-seon. I really liked the performance even if there were times when I got really annoyed with the character. A definite improvement over the "bad mother" character in Something in the Rain. We had alot of characters in this show who were believably terrible, but it was good to have one that was a realistic mix of weak and strong traits rather than being all bad.

Lee Chang-hoon as "Student Bestie" Park Yeong-jae. I enjoyed this performance, and at times he seemed like the only sane one of the bunch. Still fell victim to main character syndrome at times, but fun to watch.

Oh Man-suk and Kim Jung-young as Ji-ho's father and mother. Fun to watch but not super memorable. Still enjoyed seeing them while they were there.

Ha Yi-an as "Best Boy" Yoo Eun-u. This little kid was adorable and I loved him.

Everyone else. The other actors did a good job, but the writer gave them very little to work with. Most of the time, their "job" was to spend time obsessing about the ML and FL and talking to each other about their relationship.

TL; DR:

Overall, a good melodrama with some thoughtful plot lines and alot of big feels. Not the best, but certainly worth giving a try. Maybe just skip parts of the first episode.

[zak-shit]

this is the turth, the whole turth, nothing but the turth

been home from le trip for like over a week now, it was the best time. I drove the majority of the way home and I loved it, i love a long drive. my music, roads that will always seem foriegn, theres a certain kind of appreciation for roads on a road trip, even if you make the trip a few times a year, theyre so temporary in the big picture, every bit of each mile can be appricated. at least when youre in a good mood and optimistic. which I am sometimes believe it or not!! got wicked sick soon after being home though and spent a good 4 days in bed. actually thinking that was the end. I've been thinking alot of my health as of late. nothing going on, just a new fear developing??

this morning i woke to take Cecilia to school and 2 secs after exiting my neighborhood i hit someones car!!! Its the smallest scratch on the sides of our cars. everyone was super chill praise the lord! but damn what a way to start the day.

I want to quit my vices pretty badly, but then what the hell am I to do?! thats the question... and honestly I dont want to quit, i kinda just want them to work better lmao. I cant feel a nic hit right now, also because my coil is going out and I need a new one. but im on a money saving journey! I dont wanna spend that money!! :/ choices!

It's is wild it being 10 years now, and I'm still in love with my first love. at least a large part of me still is. idk our relationship is nice right now, and has been for a long time now. I like talking to trey like I do, but truthfully, I wish I could be with him more. this isnt the only reason, but a big one and an important one, but i just feel so safe with him still. He's the only one who really knows allll parts of me. the good, the silly, the sexy, the angry, the crazy. he was always so nice to lay with. i want him, and i guess what gets to me about it now, is that I cant just be with him right now, hes pretty far away, and i just dont know how he feels anymore, he could just be protecting himself, but he hasnt expressed how we are end game or wanting to be with me in a while and i just :/ idk! we were both so young yes, but we went in so hard, and the love was always real. we're both so much better now, i was bad for a while, MIA, wishy washy. i could be a bitch too! idk maybe its a daydream but im picky asf and i still want to choose him, that says a bit.

[oakstar519]

i gotta say, the silence around a lot of *waves hands* everything is surprising. (it's not, actually, but that might be worse?)

i have some friends who post political stuff every time an event happens. (this is a handful of people, both here and on instagram, so i am not vagueblogging about one specific person.) whether it affects them or not, they'll constantly post about how horrible this event is and how much everyone can do to help.

and now? nothing.

it's day four of this. one of these friends has reblogged one incredibly wishy-washy post about how hamas is evil but also so are all israelis. one of them has posted something about how israeli women deserve to get raped (although in slightly nicer words-- i believe it was something like "you had to know this would happen") to their instagram story. the one person i follow who has posted anything supportive is a jewish friend. most of them have posted nothing.

im not saying anyone should have to put things on their blog they don't want. i mean i certainly don't post every time anything political happens; i really only do when it's something that affects me and that i'm knowledgeable about.

but at the same time, the people who are normally incredibly vocal about every political issue being silent when the victims are jews? when saturday was the deadliest day for jews since the shoah? i'm not going to lie, it stings. and i really, really wish i was surprised by it.

[emi1y]

FuCk how did all you wlw figure out of you liked men or not

[gayemeralds]

chaos champion question: isn’t classic sonic technically supposed to be on the other end of a timeline split or whatever they called it? so there’d be no real timeline to mess up but the same events will happen to classic anyway because he is still sonic the hedgehog(™)? or is that not a thing in your story?

asking for clarification because i’m constantly considering both options simultaneously and they’re both fucking me up but in like. completely different ways. knowing exactly how your story will end vs. knowing someone else’s story will end but not being privy to the exact details; you will be the ones to bury them as a body vs. someone else will be burying them and they will feel exactly as you felt; etc etc

im a little confused on the question here but im going to answer it with the best of my ability.

sonic generations established classic sonic as the younger version of modern sonic. they’re the same character, same timeline, just from different points.

sonic forces establishes that classic sonic is from another dimension. im assuming their thought here was that sonic generations caused the timeline to split, because modern sonic never encountered what classic sonic did, and now they have different memories. they’re also a bit incessant on keeping classic and modern SEPARATE, so i think they’re trying to make the classic sonic and modern sonic eras different dimensions. they might be backtracking on this, however. sega’s a little wish washy when it comes to timelines

personally, i think the “other dimension” thing is kinda dumb. because the classic games DID happen for sonic and the rest of the cast. the games are canon for the modern characters. for purposes of literally everything i write, classic sonic and modern sonic are the same character, who live in the same dimension, and are apart of the same timeline.

time travel and it’s effects aren’t linear. it’s why silver still remembers his forays into the past even if he saves the future. it’s not linear.

so how i imagine sonic generation still being apart of both sonic’s timelines, without creating a new timeline, is this:

modern sonic has memories of the event as classic sonic after they defeat the time eater and the classics go back home.

it’s the timeline trying to stop itself from creating paradoxes within the same timeline. modern sonic won’t be able to remember the event until AFTER it already happened.

anyway, i think the tldr is: classic and modern sonic are the same person, just plucked from different points in the timeline. classic sonic is just sonic at 11ish while modern sonic is just 15 year old sonic. so yes, everything that happens to modern sonic will happen to classic sonic. i

[extravalgant]

okay last night i was ALSO looking at the descriptions for the magic were on the website and i came across this 

and it got me thinking about how i think the schools would sort of... function . thinkin deeper about how wizzies do their thing and summon creatures

inspired mainly by lightningbat’s post here and that-wizard-oki’s post here

more below ^_^ 

EDIT: forgot about myth . im sorry to all the myth stans out there who ive disappointed

— death wizards belonging to a more advanced part of the school is an interesting part of the story - even the reveal that they have to take multiple steps before they can summon their creature means that if they do steps in the wrong order or dont do them right, the spell the spell might fizzle. im more curious about what kind of steps that could be (burial rites, possibly??), and that i think death wizards are more likely to fall back on muscle memory and routine if it involves something physical to be done. however, i think theyre more in tune with their mortalities as humans (spiral or otherwise) and would probably be more careful about the choices that they make as wizards... some like to cater into the emo aesthetic and some see it more as a school identity more than anything. death might get a bad rep in arc one so maybe necromancers are more defensive about the use of its magic...

— ice wizards specifically use chants to bargain and plead with their creatures to help them - this makes me think that ice creatures r finicky and wish-washy with who gets to summon them, and that theyre possibly easily offended. i think ice wizards therefore a little more charming and persuasive compared to their non-ice peers - because they have to be if they want to summon their creatures. i think you also need to have a lot of patience as an ice wizard because battles can drag out so long in the face of prioritizing tanking over damage

— storm wizards use verses to charm or enthrall their creatures - which kinda makes me think that a lot of the creatures that they deal with could end up doing serious damage to the caster if they arent convincing enough. in this case i think storm wizards would be considerably more manipulative than the rest, convincing their creatures to attack their enemy. i think if you dont follow the tune or the words dont flow well enough then the spell might fizzle 

— fire wizards use incantations to dominate or convince their creatures to fight for them, which honestly kinda fits LMFAO the term hot headed might be perfect for this kind of summoning practice. part of being a fire wizard is knowing that if you cant control your flames (as well as your emotions) it will escape you and consume everything. i think fire wizards are more prone to being bossy and haughty in this case

— life magic is very different compared to the ones already talked about - it relies on nothing but a small part of the song of creation, which wove the spiral. i think the ability to create something from nothing is often looked over as an aspect of life magic, and it can get away from you and consume you entirely if you dont have a handle on it. it can bring someone back from the brink of death, or you can use it to drain someone of their life energy (although, im not sure if the last part is aligned with life ideals). it feels good to be full of life energy, but it can also be overwhelming and hard to deal with being responsible with someone elses life force. i think in this case life wizards can switch between being kind + generous to the mean healer trope LOL

— balance is described as a trasmutation to “blend the forces of other schools”. this could mean that for both elemental and spiritual spells they have to use a mixture of chants, incantations, verses, and being able to harness the small power of the song of creation for life - all while having to balance out these forces. in this case, i think, balance is an advanced school (possibly along with death) because of all the conflicting forces that come with having to deal with all seven main schools. although, i think the way that balance is characterized, balance students are more in tune with themselves and the world around them.

— myth wizards mainly have to rely on their creativity and their mind to drive their specific magic. i think if ravenwood offered more classes then myth classes would probably intertwine with creative writing classes or classes that required you to think beyond your imagination. naming, specifically calling out creatures true names, is a core part of what helps myth wizards summon their creatures. however seeing as the myth teacher is cyrus drake, it might explain why some of his students are... Like that. I think myth would discourage those who are easily afraid, because using a true name and not being confident is a recipe to get your spell reversed on you. however, it does encourage creativity, as well as teamwork and bonding with others. the way that myth wizards cast their spells and rely on one another in an environment -- i think myth wizards are more likely to be caculated, logical. but theyre also likely to be compassionate and kind.

HAVING SAID THAT..... i think the player character (the wizard, the savior) being from earth and not a part of the spiral means that their body doesnt have a natural “magical blocker”, which is meant to protect the body from taking in too much magic at once, from completely different sources

(personal headcanon: this means that when the wizard uses too much magic they may hit a “wizard fever” or “spiral flu” and gets sick as a result of using too much)

this fits in game mechanic wise too -- you can learn a multitude of spells, but you use more of your magic for schools that arent your primary focus - the amulets you can get may help make certain magic flow and cast better

i dont know if i can say that we are the only ones able to learn a bunch of schools at once but i think it may be possible for us because we dont have that “magic blocker” that keeps the body from being filled with too many conflicting magics too much . i think

[d4rkpluto]

Hi A.M let's celebrate ur milestone with this exchange🖤 So here it goes.

Topic I chose: Your Attractive Characteristics

Exchange: For you, I intuitively picked up the fact that you can be blunt at times. It may be seen as a negative factor for some ppl but also at the same time really attractive because you know when and how to assert yourself in situations. Your suitors may be intimidated by you but also find that part abt you attractive. Also there is this air of mysteriousness about you that get ppl hooked or intrigued. You just have a strong presence I should say even if your personality is still soft. And ppl often find that attractive but honestly, that also intimidates them. I also feel like you play hard to get somehow or doesn't admit how u really feel at times. That also gets ppl thinking abt u and be like damn this person is not easy to get👀 so yea thts all I picked up abt ur attractive characteristics. Overall, its ur I-can't-care less-abt-u energy that is attractive to ppl lol. I hope that helps and resonated. If not, then don't take it seriously to heart.

Oh and congrats for hitting a new milestone👏 I wish you the best on ur journey here and have a nice day🖤

♇ thank you so much for your patience and for this exchange, i really appreciate it @bae127

♇ and for the exchange; the way everyone got "blunt" or "straight-forward" i cant help it imma aqua merc with a sag degree in the 2nd house imma be vocal. yeah i understand others find me intimidating because i have that "dont talk to me" look if ygm? even though my presence is strong i do come off as soft sometimes, you got it really right!!

♇ your question - your attractive characteristics

♇ my answer -

♇ at first, i got wishy-washy? but i was like huh? but it made more sense when i realised that people might think of you as someone who is dreamy; there is also a lost expression you might have on your face that makes others want to save you or be your hero. but you're very dreamy especially with your energy, do you have any pisces placements? 12h placements? 12h ruler being in the 1st or neptune aspects? because im getting that from you a lot. on the other hand, you have this presence of something out of reach? and there's just people who want to understand who you are; you might have really nice eyes? eyelashes or eyebrows or nice lips/smile. you might get along with others easily too.

♇ make sure to leave feedback in the comments!

[fucktheroyals]

I'm rewatching The Mandalorian and it just made me realize how quickly Din builds an incredibly strong attachment to Grogu. Like Grogu's still learning about Din and whether he likes him or not and it's clear Grogu's attachment to Din becomes strong with time and Din's actions. But you can tell that Din almost immediately (and seemingly unconsciously) adopts Grogu as his kid. It's so precious. I love Din. Aaaah and then just like like— ugh my heart.

The way the show portrays, the bounty hunters and the jobs they do, it seems it's normal for those kinda of jobs happen a lot (like dealing with kids). And the lengths Din goes to protect Grogu, even just at the start, are so great. Like it's so much further than even someone who just normally cares about kids would go in that very specific situation. I mean he puts his entire family at risk for Grogu (which seems selfish, and it is, but it also showed how much he trusted them). I mean he put everything he's ever known at risk.

But then I thought about the way the other Mandalorian talks to Din about how he should go about finding Grogu's people. It seems like a normal thing to bring Grogu back and be okay with not seeing him again. Like you know? Like most people who would care about a child because they're a child would just get that child to the people they're supposed to be with and protect them and be on their way. Especially in a universe like that one. And even the end of season 2 gives the never gonna see each other again, except by accident or extreme circumstance.

But no! Din just wants to see Grogu so he goes to where Luke and Grogu are training! Ah! my heart! He just goes to see the kid like it's no big deal! I MEAN JEDI USUALLY DONT SEE THEIR PARENTS AGAIN BECAUSE BLAH BLAH BLAH. ANYWAY ITS "NORMAL" FOR JEDI NOT TO SEE THEIR FAMILIES AGAIN BUT DIN JUST GOES AND SEES HIM LIKE A PARENT GOING TO VISIT THEIR KID AFTER THEYVE MOVED OUT. HE WAS SO CLUELESS ABOUT IT BEING BASICALLY A RELIGIOUS PRACTICE FOR JEDI NOT TO SEE THEIR PARENTS AGAIN. LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING??!?!??!?! ITS SO GOOD! I love Din so much! He loves Grogu so much! There's so much love in that man's heart despite being who he is and what he's been through.

Like who f*cking cares about ships, and I really wish those eps with him as the focus were in his own show and not Boba's but I personally loved how they wrote Din & Grogu there. And yes, maybe they're just being wishy washy in their writing but I think it was good for Din as a character and when you start thinking about how Grogu isn't gonna be killed (or turned I guess) when Kylo Ren turns, it was a good creative choice (even if you can tell they really didnt have the Grogu trains to be a Jedi with Luke part planned out into theyre overall story). I think it'll be interesting to see if they come back to Luke or we see Luke again or what's going to go on there. I have the suspicious feeling tho that Grogu's going to want to spend as much time as he can with Din tho, considering Grogu's long life span.

Hopefully this made sense, I really didn't feel like rehashing a bunch of stuff, I'm hoping you can think about the scenes I'm talking about and understand what I'm saying.

[pray4jensen]

... I mean im glad it was left up to interpretation too, because evidently i just dont think either of them nor the writers thought of it as requited love so its better for me that they left it open-ended because that finale is what happens when they try to bring us closure. heck, letting cas express his love as suicide is how we got canon destiel. i would have rather had the rest of their lives to be ambiguous if cas/dean/sam got to live, then i could imagine when they hooked up on my own lol.

(cont) as much as i would like to think misha/jensen are 'on our side's... i think everybody ignored the part of that 1 on 1 misha zoom chat with a fan twitter thread where she said misha doesn't think dean reciprocates cas' feelings (only to backtrack and say 'but i dont know!'), and jensen saying that dean still doesnt grasp the fact that cas *can* feel love the way humans do, but was 'glad dean's response was left to interpretation'...  

unfortunately, anon, i have to disagree. do i wish that they had left dean and cas’ romance in subtext, knowing what we got? totally! but do i think that their entire storyline was written with the intention that it remain unreciprocated forever? tbh, i don’t think so, because everything in that story was pushing reciprocation from dean’s side. 

for example, just a season ago, in 14.10 nihilism, pamela asked dean why he always wants something he can’t have when he complained about her always having a boyfriend (only for her to confirm to the audience that he didn’t want her because she’s psychic so she knows the truth). that instance, one of so many on the show, explicitly framed dean’s desire for a romantic partner as defined as something he couldn’t have, and in 15.18, cas essentially answered that question by saying that he also wanted something he couldn’t have before revealing that this something was dean.

when all the variables of the equation are essentially the same for dean and cas, the answer can only be reciprocation: what they think they can’t have is each other.

as for misha and jensen, they only recently started giving us such doubtful and wishy-washy answers, and i truly think that’s indicative of the fact that they can’t really contradict what ultimately went down on the show. but also remember that these were the same two giggling at jib after s14 ended about how they were sure dean and cas would be having sex onscreen if they had been on a different network. that jensen all but confirmed at the beginning of s15 that dean was into cas because ‘dean has no taste, clearly.’ 

just as evidence of dean and cas’ reciprocity can’t be abolished by a single episode when we have seasons’ worth of proof refuting the notion that it was unrequited love from cas’ side, similarly i don’t think we should look at misha who’s been talking about dean and cas for a decade, and jensen, who has now for years been teasing dean’s feelings for cas as indication that they don’t believe it was reciprocated. 

objectively, yes, we didn’t get reciprocation, and jensen and misha said as much, but subjectively? i suspect that when jensen said he made certain character choices in light of the confession, and when misha said he similarly adjusted himself, i think they made it pretty clear that they acted with the belief that dean and cas loved each other mutually, rather than it being a one-sided thing.

[socialbunny]

thinking about how infinitely more interesting as a part of the pv storyline thing if skip was just an absent father and just left brandi (who then proceeds to lie about his death) rather than died

personally feel like skip had a lot of reckless inebriation when he was younger, but he wasn't a bad bad boy, which attracted brandi to him because her parents mainly her mom were "overbearing" to her and she wanted freedom (i feel like bob and betty hated skip just because of his stupid ass smug face). and skip was very loving and caring to brandi, but he himself is a very loose and wish washy kind of guy that has very strong emotions about his current feelings.

when brandi got pregnant with dustin 6 months before her graduation, both her and skip (or just her idk im inbetween skip being a little older than brandi) dropped out and pulled a bella and mortimer and everything was flamingos and garden gnomes for a minute. but as time went out skip got antsy and bored of staying in the same spot and wanted to move to [another town idk] with his family, but financially they were both in a rut still. Brandi was clocking (50) hours a week at the diner she was working at, and while Skip had the most 'flexible schedule' (he was also a car mechanic and did that from home), they hardly had enough for the lifestyle they wanted. especially since skip branded himself as the "Cool Fun Dad" who always got dustin moderatly nice things and let him skip school and shit (i feel like dustin was also closer to skip moreso than brandi). moving to a whole different town was a huge decision, and they definitely didn't have the budget for it, aside from other things (moving being bad for dustin, her wanting to stay in pleasantview, yadda yadda), so brandi was adamantly against that and skip let go 'asking' her.

as brandi was getting more and more winded by work, skip was getting more and more antsy for an escape from pleasantview, and brandi got pregnant with beau. it was at this point that ultimatum: that they all either pack up and leave or skip just leaves himself. brandi ignored him thinking he was joking, but the next morning he was gone.

this post got super embarrassing real quick but the reason i think itd be more interesting if skip were alive is because of the nuance. i truly believe skip is a good person... or atleast alright, but not a good day or a good husband. hes increadibly selfish and disregards other peoples wants, and always pre-occupies himself with his current thoughts and emotions. but it also provides some nuance to brandi too, making her brash decision to lie so that she wouldnt be embarrassed about being a single mom high school dropout and putting out the belief to dustin that he died so that he wouldn't feel at fault, and compensating for this by pushing dustin to do his best but not exactly knowing how he could do his best, makes her complex too in my eyes.

[beetlemancy]

Not angry venting but more gosh i really dislike that i keep trying to get back into watching live then I see matt making a rules calling that isnt correct and IM annoyed and i hate *that* emotional response, (specifically in this case not letting jester drop conc - which by the rules she is very much allowed to do at anytime), so again not angry venting *at matt* and more gosh i wish i didnt have standards on matt that he has no responsibility to me to keep, but somehow i still care about :(

hey, I’m gonna put the rest of your (relevant) asks and my response to them under this read more for brevity, and encourage anyone who gets up in their feelings about this ask to read the followups because they are far more important for context on this subject - AND please know that these asks were sent before the stuff that went down later in the episode. Also, those reading should take their time because its a wishy washy subject that can get sensitive but this is absolutely done in good faith and I think its important for us to acknowledge these feelings in ourselves when they come up!(also the last time I posted a long ass post like this the format got all wonky after I looked at it on mobile, so if its all one big paragraph - it was not intended to be that way and i’ll fix it soon)

Ask 2-3: just sent that ask and i want to clarify, its not bad matt not being RAW, follow the rules or perish. its more, hes a great dm and making a rules call that disadvantages the players for a reason i can not understand at all makes me feel not happy despite the fact that i know im not a player and this isnt actually effecting me personally, yet i sit here with my negative emotions and idea how to force myself to not feel them :(((((i told myself that was going to be my last ask of the night but for the sake of being clear with you) i also wonder how much of my being upset about being upset is that i dont want to be in the same camp as twitter / reddit ppl who get on matt about rules calls and are cruel to him about it, and just agreeing with their base statement makes me feel like im saying its okay to do that

Mmk. There’s sort of two main subjects I wanna cover: the action and the feeling.The basic truth is that occasionally we get feelings that remind us of the rage of people we do not want to be. This is human, and it happens in life in so many ways, not just in fandom. However, I’ll stick with CR for now. We see the Twitter and Reddit threads that berate Matt and the players for rule issues and we think, we would never be that up in our feelings, right? But it is so much less about what we feel and more about what our actions are. 

The people who make those posts? Some of them are full of so much hate for something that they just use this as an opportunity to lash out. Others are genuinely trying to be helpful and just don’t understand the concept that they are not the only person on the internet and that often times one person saying something is benign but that hundreds of people saying it is malicious. Sometimes people might not even feel that much about the subject but want to join the fight because its something to do or because their peers/friends are.

What defines the result of ANY rules lawyering post online is not the reason they made the post, though, is it? Its simply that they did. Their intent doesn’t really matter that much - a post was still made, and posts were made on top of that post, and those posts, and now we’ve got a flame war - intent be damned.

By the same nature, if you don’t make that post? It doesn’t matter what your feelings are on the topic. You choose to not add to that noise. Take that win and feel good about it! (btw, sending someone an ask to parse through your feelings on the subject isn’t ‘making that post’ either)

Okay. Now - about the feelings.

I’m honestly with you there and have been the last few combat scenarios. I’ve noticed myself wondering if Matt is getting more and more ‘me vs them’ in his combat DM style because it feels that way to me. I’m guessing that a lot of my discomfort also has to do with my inherent sense of black-and-white Fairness - being Autistic comes with that privilege for a lot of us. ADHD Cousins can get theirs in maroon I think, but they have to order it special. ;)

I grapple a lot with my feelings on combat in CR when it does start to feel antagonistic or unfair to one or more players (or sometimes even Matt himself!). Here is what I do: well, for one, compartmentalize until the next day or two. CR brings up a lot of feelings. Its a lot of story and I get super immersed. The emotions are high for everyone during a good episode, sometimes especially during combat, and so I allow myself the cool down time before I really look at it again.

After that time, if I still feel the same way and it still bugs me, I watch stuff where they talk about how much they love each other. I play that clip of Liam saying ITS A GAME! over and over. I get super in deep with the Critmas vids or another Talks episode I really love. That’s what helps me kick it, in the end. The visual and auditory reminder that these are friends and sometimes friends have a little tension when they are all in a state of high adrenaline but that they clearly would not do this if it wasn’t fun for them anymore. 

I do have a buddy of mine that is really hardcore Justice. He is, straight up, like Justice from Dragon Age. The guy is Fairness with a capital F, and his method of dealing is different from mine: he doesn’t watch combat from any TTRPG show. He just avoids it, because he doesn’t wanna be That Guy on reddit, but the intensity with which he feels the call to correct wrongs is very strong. He takes himself out of the equation, reads a recap or asks friends, and then can engage healthily with the RP and the story outside of combat. Its a good system for him.

Maybe you can find a method similar to either of these options? Maybe you just need a healthy place to vent about it. For that, I’d suggest a discord or a friend (or me off anon and then I won’t publish if you ask me not to! or send me a pm!). Or perhaps you need to reevaluate how you watch CR and what you’re willing to give up in order to not feel this way. Or maybe binge watching some quality CR wholesomeness will help those feelings dampen. Either way, you are not Wrong for feeling. We just have to watch our actions.

[an-assortment-of-forks]

I was tagged by @extraordinary-arbiter-bluebird! thanks :D

when was the last time you left your home?

just a couple of minutes ago for a walk around my quiet neighborhood with my sister :D

what was the last thing you bought? 

.... Starbucks... i know its not smart but i work there and like.... i just needed an iced white mocha ;-; its been tooo long.

is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

both equally. i love it and also i need it to stop immediately so i can continue MOVING. everything feels stagnant. but also im just chillin so

who are you spending quarantine with?

my family!

do you have pets to keep you company?

yes my beautiful cat and our stinky old doggo xD i love them both tho, but only the cat is allowed in my room bc dog too stinky now oops.

what are your current responsibilities? 

responsibilities? i dont know her. (chores around the house actually, tho those have become more lax bc my mom gets bored and just CLEANS)

do you have a room to yourself?

yes! i would not survive otherwise

town, country, city? 

town

how’s your toilet paper supply?

NORMAL. lol we arent monsters. (tho we ran out of tissues and my mom did have to buy 40 boxes off amazon bc that was the only option for quantity lol)

what’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

at this point? work. i miss my job and my coworkers and HAVING ROUTINE so bad. and my favorite camp to be camp counselor at might also be cancelled which would be so very sad. (understandable tho but imma still be sad abt it.)

what’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel?

work x’D. i miss it but this break has lowkey been heavenly

who do you miss the most? 

my coworkers/friends?? most of my real close people are online so not much has changed there.

do you have any new hobbies? 

is animal crossing a hobbie?

what are you watching the most? 

literally anything and everything i can find lol. i just watched both princess diaries before my Disney+ ran out. i bought it solely for frozen 2 and just watched whatever i wanted for a month. also a whole lotta youtube. dang i really need some new anime to watch tho lol

are you still going to work? 

nope, wish i was. im very wishy washy on whether or not i wanna be at work rn lol. 

what are you out of? 

DEODORANT. but my mom just ordered some that came in so she’s giving me one thankfully. literally right on time i ran out yesterday.

have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine?

YEAH ITS GONNA BE A MULLET SOON BECAUSE I HAVENT CUT IT BECAUSE MY HAIRDRESSER IS MY AUNT AND HER MOTHER IS VISITING AND ITS TOO DANGEROUS FOR ME TO GO OVER THERE RN. which is totally reasonable asdlkfjalskdfjsd. might be getting someone to cut it on saturday tho! hopefully! (it doesnt actually look that bad BUT I SWEAR IM GONNA BUZZ IT SOON IF I CANT CUT IT LOL. all we have are dog clippers tho that my dad had from before my parents were even married so like maybe not... but.... i really need a haircut )

[magneticflower]

I think I took Moira's writing credentials for granted, but I have never felt so betrayed for a character's writing than lately. awae used to be my go-to feel good show w/ characters i'd known and loved despite their shortcomings, and now i feel like watching it less due to the increasing wish-washy character "development" and the increasingly mortifying "raw and real" story arcs. today im leaving the show, josie's arc hit too close to home and this was not bargained for, a tw was at the least.

I definitely understand and completely get why you would stop watching this season given the circumstances. It is a REALLY heavy season with a lot of intense plotlines and it's very draining and not offering much escape at all. I know that many believe that some of us our being too critical on the characterizations, however I can't help but agree that the characters seem like they're not themselves. I'm not asking for the to be accurate to the book entirely, they definitely never were in the first place, but I would at least like them to be consistent to who they have been in the previous seasons and I really feel that they just--- aren't. Each episode makes me feels that way even more. This entire season has been emotionally draining and overall frustrating.

I agree that those two stories are definitely important ones to be told, and I hope they are handled well.

I'm right here wishing that I would've waited til January to watch it all at once because at least binging it and seeing how it all tied together would perhaps make this all make sense instead of getting bit by bit and getting more frustrated. I hope these last four episodes will make all this worth it and deal with a lot of things better than I feel they're being dealt with.

Also, I wish you all the best with what you're dealing and struggling with. If AWAE can no longer be your escape and your feel good show, I hope that you can find some other show or something else that can be that for you now 💚