#im also way to exhausted to comprehend whats happening

[giiyus]

he's exhausted and sleep deprived but he still knows how to party 🥳🎉

[azumasoroshi]

suzume no tojimari spoilers ! hi guys im Insane

literature analysis brain is going haywire so here’s a bunch of incoherent ramblings some themes motifs and symbolism i love in this movie because AAAAAAA

Love and Sacrifice.

Obviously, but like the different kinds of love and devotion and how they’re never perfect and sometimes self-destructive but they’re so powerful and just waughhh. It was so important to me how after exploding at her Tamaki (suzume’s aunt, ik im not the only one who forgets names) was like “you know I don’t feel that way all the time, right?” like not denying that yes, she has felt exhausted of taking care of Suzume and sometimes wished she didn’t have to take care of her, trying to be the parental figure she needs while also trying to not encroach on her sister’s memory. It means so much to me that she didn’t deny those feelings but instead told Suzume that it’s not how she always feels, because loving someone means sacrifice and ewughghgghfgfh im not putting this into words well but htrggfhgf.

and ALSO the reciprocation of kindness with daijin - as thanks for the taste of freedom at last, and wanting to be with someone whom you love but not really comprehending that what they want (that “suzume doesn’t love me” killed me) and how by the end daijin helped her pull souta out and sacrificed himself for suzume because he really loved her ggrgfggfhfnfnch

And just. everyday love. This is kind of a mix of themes and motifs but every time we flashed back to the memories of whatever abandoned place they were in - the simple “good morning”s and “be back soon” and “it’s so hot”s made me choke up. the mundane love of Chika and Suzume in their newly found friendship, Rumi’s kindness in picking Suzume up off the street and her love for her children, Serizawa’s platonic love for Souta letting him drive these two crazy women with crazy beef for 7 hours across Japan, there’s just so much expression of love and the hardships people go through because of it and rhgrjgrjhgdhgjhb

Mourning and Closure.

Makoto Shinkai himseld said that he wanted to write a story about “mourning deserted places” (at least according to Wikipedia) so this one is all but textual but like yeah. the motif of opening/closing/locking doors and locking the bike and things like that? AaAAaAaa

To close the gates, you need to imagine the emotions of people who once lived there - i can only imagine what Souta was thinking in the abandoned bathhouse area, but hrhggejghw the school and the amusement park and the shots we got of normal life in tokyo before the worm revealed itself in the climax, it just. really speaks to the beauty of everyday life. im a sucker for that kind of stuff as both a psychology major and just a weird person who thinks “man i wonder what happened to this person for the past 22 years of their life that led them to be here with me in this moment” whenever i pass someone in the grocery store. Hodaka could let japan be flooded in weathering with you because of his love for hina, but suzume’s whole arc was learning about the common people and living their lives and embracing all the kindness they had to offer to herself and others and it really hits that like. of course she can’t just let tokyo get destroyed to save Souta, every person in all of tokyo is just like Rumi and Chika and Serizawa and they’re all people who love and are loved. She finds herself in Souta’s place as one who stretches himself thin between being a gate closer and studying to be a teacher because he loves life as well, and-

oops i forgot i was talking about mourning and closure

anyway the doors keep getting reopened because the grief never fully goes away and the worm of “calamity” is letting yourself be consumed by the grief and destroying the people around you and not being able to move on, and it comes from the Ever-after becomes ever-after is a place where time doesn’t exist and you wish you could be there forever because it’s where you can relive the events of your past, it’s where you can live in denial that time moves forward and you have to move with it, it’s where Suzume goes after her mother dies because she wants people to stop giving her condolences and just give her her mom back. “Ever-after” in itself is a “happily ever after” - a place where mortals aren’t meant to go, no matter how beautiful it looks. Souta goes there too because he is the catalyst Suzume needs to go back and face Ever-after - and it’s no longer beautiful, but it’s torn apart by grief and everything is in flames. The idea of a keystone as well, locking the memories and hurt away, is one that Suzume removes to relive her memories and puts back in place when she’s ready to move on. htrhgfhgfghfghf. she won’t let souta be the keystone because she refuses to move on without him.

Also both Souta and his grandfather tell Suzume to just forget everything she’s seen, but it’s too late for that because connections aren’t so easily forgotten. Even when Tamaki couldn’t remember telling Suzume she’d be her new mother, that doesn’t change that she cared for her for the next 12 years anyway. Suzume visits Chika and Rumi by the end, and obviously she’s never forgotten her mother, both because her chair was still in her room by the start of the movie and because she looks like her by the end. Even though relationships change, they’re never forgotten in the movie, and I think that’s beautiful, really.

(also cool detail: 12 years ago is when the tsunami that killed suzume’s mother struck. the movie came out in 2023, and the touhoku earthquake/tsunami that inspired this film was in 2011. nice)

Reality vs Fantasy

The scenes where Suzume goes out into public again following stopping the worm from destroying Tokyo were especially poignant to me. This girl’s been going on a fantastical adventure with her talking chair and talking cat, meeting nice people and making friends, excited at the idea that she’s doing something important, but after Souta’s gone she shuts down. Her feet are bloodied, her clothes are destroyed, and people keep giving her strange looks and calling her homeless because she may have stopped the worm but even without being consumed by grief, it still isn’t pretty or picturesque. Standing out in Japanese society is discouraged, as most of us are well aware, but she’s been doing nothing but that with all the running around and talking to chairs and flying through the sky she’s been doing. Without a concrete goal in mind, without Souta as company, she’s alone in the world of adulthood and has no one to tell her what she should do, no Souta to guide her through Tokyo. And without that confidence or charm, people don’t come to her aid like they did before. It’s only once she finds her resolve to save Souta, quite literally walking in his shoes/footsteps, that the next helpful stranger (Serizawa) comes in.

She could imagine those abandoned places as alive, but the truth is that they were abandoned and will stay that way - none of them miraculously revived by the end, unless something happened in the credits that I couldn’t see through all my tears. Reality will not bring those places back, but what really matters is how we carry the memories of those places with us? I think. man maybe it’d be easier to write this post if i had actually seen the end credits

this post is really fucking long so im calling it here 😭 makoto shinkai has done it again. goddammit

[sillyparker]

(mcu!)Peter's love for Spider-Man

I saw a few reddit comments that frankly really bothered me, so I just wanted to ramble about how Peter being somewhat bothered by having to be Spider-Man in ffh and nwh (ffh esp) is more than insanely justified. He will never hate being Spider-Man, infact i think his trauma likely will spur him on to do more and more, either as an escape or a chance to help people the way he hadn't been helped, either way I believe post nwh Peter definitely still finds his joy in being Spider-Man, it'd be literally impossible to just up and make him stop. This part is more of a personal hc before I get into the rest of the post, but I think if he desired to give Spider-Man up after everything, he would have chosen to make the world forget that instead, from what I understand it would have still relieved his troubles, as nobody knows who Spider-Man is, so why would they know Peter?

Far From Home. People take the way Peter acts during the film as him no longer liking being Spider-Man, and it frankly feels very.. ignorant of like literally everything Peter has gone through, honestly. ffh is post endgame, which good fucking god - that is the most trauma inducing experience any possible 15 (16?) year old teen could endure, now im talking both infinity war and endgame, because both are just as bad. In infinity war, he obviously fights alot, not as much as he does in the second film, but it's still very rough, and well he sorta dies, which I'm sure takes a rather extreme toll on him as he could likely feel absolutely everything happening, because of his healing factor, and spidey sense, it's just a very very scary experience, hell I wouldn't be shocked if Peter was drop dead terrified everytime he felt his spidey sense, (he isn't, but I wouldn't put it past being very possible).

And, in endgame he had to hold the gauntlet for an extended period of time from an insane amount of creatures, he literally was holding the future of the entire world in his hands, I would imagine that'd be actually very, very scary. He's consistently put in unfair positions and made to just 'deal' with it, I'm sure he expected some of this but I cant firmly believe he thought he'd end up in such a crazy situation. Now, most obviously the very big part of endgame - Tony Stark fucking died dude!?!?! Let the kid have some time to grieve... not that he ended up getting any, he's literally already lost his parents, (possible uncle), and now his pseudo father, and shit does he lose more right after in such a tiny timespan.

Point is, yeah the fact he want's a goddamn break is not the most insane thing that's happened, god forbid a thoroughly traumatized teenager wants a break without needing to have the burdens of the world (literally) on him again. It just gets to me each time there are such crazy expectations for him, as if any a bunch other characters or people wouldn't literally crumble into pieces if they experienced the amount of stress a kid like Peter is holding constantly. We also get an actual insight on an exact thing I mentioned, where he has a talk with Mysterio where he just wanted to be a normal kid for at least a few seconds, and god is he owed all of that and more. He never got a break, he never got a real chance to comprehend everything that went around him, he got pulled into a fucking other world crisis and yeah - sue him for being exhausted, and not motivated to attempt that all again.

No Way Home. Okay, to start this off - What the fuck? I don't know how obvious it has to be, but the fact Peter is not ecstatic to be Spider-Man after not only having his "identity revealed, but (all I'm about to say is from ffh, still going to get into nwh in a second) almost being killed multiple times, been manipulated by another adult in his life, had his trauma and losses smeared all across his face, faced with taking down an entire insanely large army of killer - explosive - drones, also faced with the fear of accidentally being the cause for a massive incident", is a VERY fair reason, I genuinely think if he stopped being Spider-Man right then and there, everybody he knew would probably support him, because god the things he went through is mind boggling, I don't know how to capture the amount of damage that must have done to Peter, not even just mentally but like quite literal brain damage, he's a kid - no world this severe amount of trauma is taken any forms of lightly. (Which is sorta shown, when Happy goes to pick up Peter on the flower field, and Peter being afraid of Happy maybe not being real)

I wish people gave Peter more credit than they think he deserves, also god Peter fights to be Spider-Man still all throughout nwh, he does his 'duty' by saving all the villains (whilst experiencing the most heinous levels of grief, post May's death), and does everything he can to save the people of their possible destruction, etc. One could fight for the fact Peter.. sorta did cause all of that, even if indirectly - but honestly, I genuinely cannot imagine a different outcome. "What if he went to the lady first, like Strange suggested" It definitely would have not worked, she literally only agreed because he saved her from a being that wouldn't exist had it not been for the earlier mess up, I literally cannot imagine how he would have been able to get any of fixed or back to a state of tolerable at the very least. Peter deserves (and wants) to not live his life as horrible as expected it'd be, he'd never get to any form of normal again, everything he loved was on the line, and half of the world hated him, (alot, wanted him dead or -behind bars).

Peter Parker is just a kid, that is the first and foremost the most important aspect to his character, because the way everything is affected is so so different its ridiculous, the way he will function as a whole when older is very starkly different had this happened to somebody around the age as most of the avengers, all because his brain is just simply not capable of handling such amount's of trauma, or stress. And the way he functions now is so important too, because he's a kid, n' hell will it be obvious how childish he can think or act.

Lastly, another thing I simply hate that people do is when they find the idea of Peter having trauma unrealistic. I'm very much thinking too hard about his character probably, but he is a character with such complex details, and his life is splayed out infront of us through the films, giving us every event that could likely be a cause of something to happen one day, or something that is a cause of an action he already did. I hate that people think just because he's a movie character he's unable to be an actual person in his world, like how everything is simply black and white when it comes to characterization.

Side Note, - this totally turned into just plain out angry rambling, as I've been just annoyed as a whole ever since I started writing this all. so mind anything I say that may be incorrect, I'm defensive about Spider-Man at 8am in the morning and I haven't slept yet, so typos will be made, and some sentences will probably seem confusing.

(next day now and I think i fixed everything(??), I had decided to post this tomorrow/now when I was more comprehensible)

[ovaruling]

negative self talk incoming for whoever needs that idek

regular daily update that i regret having my like 99999 cosmetic surgeries so much and i dont even want to put the exhaustive energy into accepting my face and body atp anymore bc they remain utter strangers who i hate

and despite all of the feminist theory i have read and comprehended and applied to the way i see the world i STILL cannot rid myself of this very specific form of self-hatred and im not even being defeatist when i say i truly know that i will never be at peace bc of the choices i have made. like how can i ever be ok with this. i’d have to be lobotomized to be cool with this

and even besides that the chronic physical pain and damage to my actual nervous system won’t allow me a moment of forgetfulness. like on an amazing day where i’m full of caffeine or xanax i can MAYBE forget what i look like for an hour but it’s impossible to forget that i literally cant physically feel my entire torso and abdomen and buttocks and my upper back and my inner thighs and upper arms and underarms and my jaw and cheeks

but also at the same time i can feel incredible levels of stabbing numb shocks of pain in all of them lmfao.

exercising helps for a bit and reminds me that i can at least move my body around but i always gotta come back to reality where i have to confront that i’m genuinely permanently ill and legitimately brain damaged. like neurologically

and bc of that i went from being a normal adult 10 years ago to now i cant hold a job, cant go back and attend school, cant drive a car anymore, need IV treatments weekly, no independence, no ability to even volunteer for longer than an hour at local animal shelters before i start having problems bc i cant explain to anyone why i need to lie down every 2 hours or else i legitimately go numb and pass out no matter how little exertion im doing, no future where i can help the world the way i want to. i cant even read 2 chapters of a fucking favorite book that i LOVE without getting dizzy for no fuckjng reason. i have to REST from reading a fucking BOOK

and doctors are just like “oh well that’s what happens when you fucking almost die two times from elective surgery lol kinda your fault tbh. you really should’ve just accepted how viciously hated by men your body was. but the human body is so mysterious huh!!! like this is crazy dude lmao. 🤪 so yeah here’s a pamphlet for a support group that doesn’t really fit your needs and some medication that won’t work bc we still don��t really know how to diagnose or treat plastic surgery victims like this bc technically you weren’t in a car crash or anything so we don’t really have enough research rn to fully apprehend what’s going on w your mysterious ass. also you had more surgeries than most ppl ever will be stupid enough to undertake so like we have no idea what to do w you lol!!!!!! there isn’t really data that fits your situation but maybe in 30 years 😌”

just in case anyone was wondering if i changed my mind on cosmetic surgery being true evil!!!!!! lol

ok sorry for the pity party i just really am feeling the weight of it all rn

[rin-and-jade]

So, uh.. what do we.. I mean I.. okay, well shit.

I'll start by explaining that I have slight(very big and annoying) memory issue. Like, "what month is it ? How old am I? Why is my hair so long ?" Type of issues. Meaning that I have no decent explanation to this and it could all be random stuff I'm making up w/ realizing it. So. Yeah.

..I'm not sure what I am- in the sense that a few years ago, our brain tried to stick us all together again to form a normal pre-teen. Well, more or less- I'm really not sure at this point. And, due to outside circumstances, it failed. But not completely, oh no no. Partially. Meaning that we're.. something. Never fully a person, never fully separate. Like a very unhappy puddle of oobleck. That changes color, gender and age every few hours on average. But not ever completely ! There's always that underlying current of murky brown, making it so that said oobleck always looks and feels pretty much the same. Whilst not. Also, memory loss ! Fun.

Though, Most of the time I(we ? It ? pronouns are hard) I(well, not me because it's actually not me but we have the same memory and speech patterns and skills so me ? But not. Kill me, please.) Feel like a wave- just a feeling, a vague observer drifting by, waiting for when they crash on the coast and the next wave comes in, always so similar yet different.

It's not fun. I don't know what to do. I don't.. I just don't. Honestly, trying to correctly explain our situation in words feels impossible.

But, yeah, I know you probably won't have any tips or know anybody who's been in a similar situation, but if you do, please, ignore our rudeness(we have weird, indistinct rules in place that quite literally stop us from saying the stuff I need to say directly. This is me doing my best to avoid them. It's probably incomprehensible, but I really don't have any other way to do so.) and answer with them ? I apologize- I'm sorry if this is the wrong place(..and way. Definitely the wrong way.) To ask, and for bothering you either way.

Anyways, I'm sorry for what you've just read and i hope you have a good day

Good timezone wherever you are. This ask sure took a lot of effort out of you didn't it? No worries, i still can comprehend what you are describing, i appreciate the attempt despite struggling. Let's start:

Thankfully you are in the right place, i can answer every system questions people throw at me so far,, i don't know anyone in a similar situation other than my own experience and a friend of mine--i will apply those to your answer here! What you're feeling now, is being blended.

Have things been happening badly these days? Maybe are you exhausted? Or sick? Your physical health contributes to how well you function as a system internally, if this seems to be the case then my advice is to tackle those issues as first priority.

I read that there was an attempt for your brain to merge other parts of yourselves together but got stuck mid way.. below this sentence, i will write the steps for you to incorporate into your daily lives in hopes of easing the disruptive and annoying state you're in:

Find out what's going on Is it your physical health affecting it? Or is your mental health? The experiences you've described also has clear signs on dissociating or disconnecting both of yourself and the world. If it's not a physical issue, then im writing this one at step 2

Ground back It's best you have lots of rest, affirm your anxiety or worries regarding this issue--trust yourself and have faith in the process, and do grounding techniques as well as vagus nerve practices.

Keep track of everything As you're prone to forgetting due to memory issues, it's best you write all, and recheck all your previous notes to tackle the amnesia. Creating a note that has all your important information written down will help reduce the stress and confusion in the future.

Slowly work on it Be it a physical, mental, or any other issues, it's best to go slow instead of rushing, and focus on the process rather than the results and expectations. I trust you to be flexible and adapt or improvise from this current plan. Always take notes and see how things are improving or not, the internet is filled with lots of resources out there!

This is what i have so far, as i cannot find the main reason for your current troubles other than presented signs of dissociation, blendedness and memory issues. Here is the link to my post about blend (along with it's other pals) and here is the link to my post on types of amnesia to give a head start, lastly an alter guide with questions and orientation (not intended for blurry or blended folks, but gives a foundation to understand which 'you' are you now). Feel free to continue this conversation at my DMs if you need further help, see you!

- j

[sickknotdoom]

this is probably gonna sound like i'm blindly hating, but i don't like the new cometkid designs. hear me out - it just looks like they weren't thought out a lot? i wish more care were put into them. compare, like... chem, frosty, tella, berry... with jolly and violet and alphie. they don't have any sort of obvious theme about them, which is what makes the other cometkids cool! i wish they were developed more instead of just being thrown in there. it's moving really really fast compared to before and i think slowing down would just... fix a lot of it. because you'd have time to develop things and have more fun characters!

OKAY FIRST OF ALL I NEARLY FUCKING SHAT MYSELF BECAUSE MY TUMBLR SAID 15 ASKS but when i opened it only showed this one

anyway yeah. the earlier(?) cometkids actually seem well thought out and distinct from their parents. see marco, chem, and eve.

i consider these my three favorite cometkids both design wise and character wise, of course they resemble their parents (thats how genetics work) but theyre still remarkable, unique, and stand out. they also have fleshed out personalities; eves a rebellious troublemaker but still genuinely cares for her siblings, chem is a scientist like barry but instead of denying things they dont agree with they embrace possibilities, and marcos an exhausted programmer with genuine aspiration to work for an indie game team. now lets look at the new ones.

okay so here we have Yeehaw Jay, Girlboss Rem, and Emo Lightskin Carrie. i admittedly havent caught up with cometcare (i prolly should, but its moving so fast that im sorta scared to) but from what ive seen, normas personality boils down to Loves Scaring Her Siblings, and judging from how other kids are (levi not shutting the fuck up about crypto, tella being the equivalent of 2019 billie eilish stans, etc) it wouldnt be far off to assume that in the future the others will have one singular trait that dictates the entirity of their writing and design.

cometcares been moving super fucking fast as of recent, constant new panels and arcs with the artstyle feeling more and more rushed with every new update, so i wouldnt be surprised if the designs are also being given this treatment. youre definitely onto something with wanting the newer kids to be more developed rather than having a sole feature about them dictate everything. i feel like taking a breather would help let the creative juices flow in a more productive, captivating way.

cometcare in its current state feels like a content farm to distract the fandom from whatever genuinely emotional moments are coming up in the actual comic. people get so caught up in it that when an actually impactful update drops they act like its the end of the world. and also fans are just... expected to understand every single ship and know every single cometkid? no offense, but as a newcomer to the au, the pacing makes it hard to keep track of anyone but sly and blair, and even thats starting to get difficult. new side characters get introduced all the time and i have to question the relevance of anything that happens, which has made me hesitant towards trying to thoroughly read and comprehend it.

[angelicalbones]

just rambling about current events in my life happening right now its a stupidly long whinefest

boyf has been hella depressed the past few days and ive been checking in like "hey do you wanna talk" and every time he says no and doesnt engage any further. he also has told me before about how I linger and suffocate him too much so ive been trying to just do my own thing until he wants to engage

this morning I get up and come sit out on the couch w him bc he once again did not come to bed and slept on the couch and he didnt say a fucking word to me didnt even look me in the eyes. which fine he does that, I curl up next to him and try to comment on the game hes playing and I dont even get the vaguest grunt in response.

Clearly he does not want to speak just like he didnt last night. AGain completely fine I will just go do my own thing so I dont just sit around awkwardly in silence and make him upset by being too close.

Cue him telling me out of no where he is going to his aunt's house bc he cant stand being in the house any longer. I have no issue w that but I can hear in his voice hes angry so I ask him whats wrong. Meaning 'what right now is making you angry' and he fucking snaps on me about how he hates being in the house and asks me if I think everything is fine which no I obviously do not think so but whatever I tell him its totally okay its fine he can go I wasnt gonna stop him I was just asking

he starts to say "im just upset that" and then stops himself and just says "well if you think its fine." and just books it out the door

if he comes home at all tonight I am fucking screwed. He is going to lose his fucking mind at me for giving him his space instead of sitting at his feet silently like a dog waiting for him to decide if he is going to give me any ounce of his attention. He will never fucking effectivly communicate when he would rather be sit w him v when I shouldnt I am literally just expected to know. I want to support him through fucking anything he is the love of my life but this depressive episode is coming at such severe cost to my already exceedingly fragile mental health.

hes just so god damn mean to me when hes like this I cant take it. Im exhausted of never having the right answer. Never doing the right thing. He will say I am the kindest most supportive partner to other people but the second I dont magically know which contradicting behavior he is expecting from me I am the cruelest most evil disgusting sociopathic abuser he knows. I dont know what to do about it. I have no family here. I'm completely alone. if this goes sideways my entire life is over

I have to quit my job, abandon all of my things and move back in w my parents across the country. He has roots here he has family who support him here. He likes to pretend hes this sad little island all alone when Im the one who has *nothing* to my name if he dumps me. He owns like 99% of the shit in this house not that I could move back w anything I own anyway I dont own the fucking car.

he holds my life in his hands but he is the persecuted victim here. hes the one who will lose everything bc of me.

Im realizing hes treating me the way his father treated him and he doesnt comprehend that. Hes being exactly like his father.

i dont know if I can fix that. i dont know what to do w this realization. i jsut wnat to sleep for a thousand years and wake up to a partner who doesnt hate me or lovebomb me.i just want a normal life for 5 seconds

[lollytea]

I doubt that show will touch on this topic, but i d like to see Hunter struggling with his old habits and mentality (kinda like Lilith does/did).

Maybe it could show as him not talking any breaks from the research on how to return to demon realm or human realm to keep everyone extra safe. (Or later post-canon) But in an unhealthy way afraid to dissapoint his friends.

And Amity would pick up on that and either have a talk with him or the rest of kids sharing their adventure in EE "cuz there is nothing worse than dissapointing someone who thinks you are special". (That could also lead to amity talking about her experiences etc)

Obviously that would be just a part of his reason non-existent most of the time only appearing in worst times. Idk im just a big fan of gradual improvment that also shows how big of an impact had past on the character.

I absolutely could see something similar like that happening, given that the show has already touched on characters struggling to break free of their unhealthy mindset even after they've escaped from the environment that enforced it. (Lilith and Amity.)

I could see that kind of mentality being linked to the grimwalker thing. The deep insecurity over his powerless status is imbedded deep in Hunter's core but now its mutated into a different kind of identity crisis. How can he be somebody worth caring about if he doesn't even know what he is? It makes it a lot harder to understand himself and calculate his own worth so he's putting in twice the effort just so prove to himself that he's good for something.

I really believe that this season is gonna heavily focus on the Luz and Hunter dynamic. And like we know Luz is kinda in mental ruins right now so I could honestly see both of them slipping into similar unhealthy behavior, maybe even enabling each other. (Unintentionally obviously. But hmm...)

But ultimately this could be the thing that snaps Hunter out of it is really seeing himself in Luz. He sees her working herself to exhaustion, desperate to make things right so she feels like she has the right to exist and its like. It's fine when he's ruining himself but seeing it from an outside perspective is really what makes him realize how Bad this is. So he's suckered into improving himself because if he's gonna support Luz, he needs to lead by example.

(Episodes like ASIAS and Labyrinth Runners really emphasise that seeing his own insecurity in someone else really helps Hunter to process his feelings and truly see that it's not healthy.)

That being said I'd love some more Hunter and Amity interaction. I don't know if the topic of their similarities in the form of inferiority complexes will ever be revisited after they really emphasised it in Eclipse Lake but it'd be nice if they did.

I think it'd be cool if their common ground in season 3 is their similar relationship with their dad/tentative father figure(?) Like both Amity and Hunter have had a very strained relationship with Alador and Darius respectively until very recently. So their feelings must be conflicted. It's a lot for a kid to really comprehend so maybe they'd have an easier time if they talked it over with each other.

[eveoflaw]

burn out + the bigger picture (& annoying things in this community)

i am tired and annoyed so if this doesnt make sense im sorry.

hello everyone! i don't know if anyone noticed that i've been m.i.a since i released my "7 days of christmas" challenge, but i just popped in to say a few things about being burnt out (both in this community and in general) and the "bigger picture."

im going to start with burn out. one thing i've noticed while being in this community is how seemingly controversial burn out is, and how people generally take it the wrong way when it comes to manifesting and their own journey.

what is burn out? i'm not going to give you a textbook definition but basically burn out is when you feel mentally and physically exhausted. it typically happens when someone overworks themselves, but it can happen when it comes to habits and in this case, manifesting.

why do i think it's controversial? what i see a lot in this community is that many people (no particular person) seem to think that if you hyper focus on methods and manifesting what you want 24/7, you'll get it faster. that may be true for some, but the truth is that this is all for you. this is your journey to work on yourself, and overworking your mind and subconscious isn't going to make that process any easier. i see many people in the manifesting community who do the absolute most and then disappear off of the face of the earth (aka me) for months on end, or eventually get burnt out and get shit on for taking time for themselves.

it seems almost taboo? like you aren't supposed to talk about it but it happene, and/or people seem fine with it UNTIL it actually happens.

in other words, it is okay to take breaks. this is definitely something a lot of people find difficult to comprehend. it is drilled into ours heads that "just believe and know that xyz is yours!" that so many forget what the bigger picture is.

this is your journey. this is meant to be for you. how you get there and how long it takes you is not defined by methods or any other bs that will get you want you want in a second.

it is your healing process.

it is your growth.

it is self concept in whatever form that may be.

it is patience.

im not saying that you can't get whatever you want in a second, i know that you can, but this is YOUR OWN JOURNEY and yes advice from all of these manifesting blogs is extremely helpful (and kudos to all of you lovely people) but it SHOULD NOT DETERMINE your journey!

overconsumption will eventually lead to burnout! ovethinking will eventually lead to burnout! doing methods that you are not confident in will eventually lead to burnout!

burnout is completely normal, and us bad bitches with mental illnesses know it all too well.

TAKE BREAKS! SLEEP ALL DAY! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

if you have depression, take a break.

if you have adhd, take a break.

if you have anxiety, take a break.

if you have a personality disorder, take a break.

if you have anything that i'm forgetting, take a goddamn break.

if you're healthy, take a fucking break. you deserve it too.

what person has ever benefited from overworking themselves?

no one. exactly. no one realizes that by taking time for yourself, you are WORKING on yourself! you are taking back your energy and your power!

i kind of sprinkled in the bigger picture of manifesting in there, but i want to get into it more.

the bigger picture is, as i said, your healing process, growth, patience, and self concept. but it is also:

finding your power.

taking baby steps.

trusting yourself.

IT IS NOT:

doing stupid fucking methods that you are not confident in.

( psa: if you are uncomfy doing a method, DON'T DO IT. IT IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU!

ppsa: do the methods that feel right and aren't a goddamn chore! )

wondering why you haven't gotten what you wanted after you overconsumed info and tried it all everyday for a week.

i hate to say it people, i really do,

growth does not happen in a week. healing does not happen in a week. finding yourself does not happen in a week.

idc what anyone else tells you. this shit takes time and commitment. you need to work on yourself and your self concept.

self concept for dummies: your opinion of yourself. self esteem.

you cannot become truly happy with yourself in a short period of time. if you disagree, good on you - but don't shit on others for something they have no control over.

rome wasn't built in a day.

if you wake up feeling bad about yourself, that's alright (another controversial thing, having a couple bad days does not put you in the victim mindset! wow!)! put on your favorite jeans and admire how fat and amazing your ass looks in them.

smile at yourself in the mirror, replace self deprecating jokes with overly cocky jokes.

if you are severely insecure and doubt everything you do (like i was. you arent alone bby) yes, it will take time. no, you cannot fix it on a deadline. baby steps boo, focus on yourself and only yourself - not that brand new shiny toy you think you'll get if you think one nice thing about yourself.

conclusion:

it's okay to take breaks

yes self concept (therefore manifesting) takes time

being burnt out is not a bad thing

feeling bad is not a bad thing.

one day at a time (nd take a break once in a while)

focus on yourself

i am very tired and i will not be proofreading this so take what you want out of it.

[hollowedwing]

Isekai-ed into Hawk's Life

Hawks x gn!winged!Reader

Warnings: ⚠️ Death!(at very beginning, it is an isekai), mentions of death throughout, some angst(??maybe not yet??), slight cursing

THIS WILL NOT FOLLOW A SPECIFIC TIMELINE IN THE MANGA

(so sorry i just, love, love, the idea of having wings)

(this is all my art, it is on IG, im just too embarrassed for people who know me irl to potentially find this xD Even though none of them have tumblr 👀 if you somehow recognize it...props to you?)

_________________________________

tbh, I can’t decide if I want this to have more than 1 part. 

Word count: ~1,800

_________________________________

You were on your way home from a long evening at your part time job. Before that you had already taken 2 finals that morning too.

You dragged your feet, exhausted, as you headed towards the crosswalk. Stopping at the edge as the traffic light turned green, you decided to pull out your phone and decided to watch a speed paint from your favorite artist who recently released a new video.

It just so happened it was a Hawks speed paint 👀

The light turned red and you slipped your phone into your pocket as your started to make your way across the street

little did you know this would be the last time you'd cross the street

A wild driver came barreling down the road, no regards for civilians or traffic lights, probably drunk or high or just someone out for blood.

You stood there like a deer caught in headlights as your life flashes before your eyes

You can barely comprehend what's happening as you felt pain engulf your body and suddenly you were unconscious

________________________________________

Keigo tiredly stumbled into his large apartment, kicking off his shoes and shrugging his jacket off by the door

He wants nothing more than to just flop down and pass out. The HPSC has been giving him hell lately about god knows what.

He let out a long sigh and headed towards the bathroom to do his nightly routine

As he finishes up, he drags his feet towards his bed and flops down face first into the comfort of his pillow and sheets

Keigo falls asleep almost instantly after getting into a comfortable position, worn out from a long day of work

What he wasn't expecting was a loud "thud!" coming from the main room. He jolts up from his bed, feathers ready to attack.

*******

Reader's pov(?)

*******

You groaned as you hit the floor. Your head was spinning and it feels like a truck just hit you

oh wait...

You suddenly became more alert, looking around in a panic, expecting to either be on the road and injured or in a hospital of sorts. What you didn't expect was a wooden floor inside of a random apartment.

You felt around your body for any signs of injury, but all you found were a set of wings on your back- wings?? Hold up. Why did you feel wings what kind of sick joke was this?

Your thoughts were racing as your breathing picked up. What was happening? Didn't you just get hit by a vehicle? Why are there wings in your back? Where are you even?

Feeling around in your pockets, you found your phone and whipped it out, trying for anything. You turned it on, the harsh light of it illuminating your face, you tried to send a text to your best friend, but alas, it wouldn't go through. Actually nothing on your phone seemed to work. You checked your location settings, for some reason it said Musutafu, Japan.

Wasn't....Wasn't that the location that most of Boku no Hero Academia took place?? This can't be right, this has to be a dream right? There's no way that you could have actually ended up here unless...

Then it hit you.

You read your fair share of isekai series back when you were alive in your realm. Mostly manhwas of characters getting reborn into another person's body, but, never actually reincarnating as yourself into another world.

That was the only thing you could think of. You must have been reincarnated into the Boku no Hero Academia world. Except as yourself.

In all honesty, this is not how you thought you'd go out. You didn't know what to expect after death, but this definitely wasn't it. After all, this was a fictional setting, wasn't it?

Well, not anymore because now you're living in it! Smh.

That would also probably explain the wings on your back. This was you now. You have a bird quirk.

Now, all you have to do, is figure out where the heck you are.

Just as you are about to stand up, feathers zip towards you, pinning you to the ground

You hear footsteps begin to come towards you. You don't know if you should be scared for your life considering you've already died once or ecstatic because, you knew for a fact, this could be none other than Hawks' apartment.

The winged hero finally emerges and stares down at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

He says in a low, gravely voice from sleep, "Who are you, and how did you get into my home?" You stare back up at him and nervously chuckle.

"I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you." You nervously sigh out.

"Try me." He demands, sounding a little more irritated now. You sigh in defeat and start to explain your situation.

"Do...do you know what an isekai is?" You said sheepishly while turning your gaze away from his. He kind of gave you a confused head tilt and just a vibe that said “No”. You sigh again and explain it to the best of your ability. Hawks becomes more and more interested and confused as you talk, but nods a long slowly. 

“So...you were reborn here, but as yourself? Wait- does that mean you died before!?” He asked, disbelief and fear ran through his eyes. You looked at him in bitter amusement.

“Apparently I did. The last thing I remember of my world was getting hit by some truck or car. The dude clearly did not know how to drive. I had the right of way I was pretty sure at least. I mean, the light was red, usually that means pedestrians can cross the street? And plus he was going wayyy over the speed limit,” you begin to ramble on, the reality of actually dying setting into you. Hawks noticed the panic beginning to set into you and released you from his feathers. He crouched down next to you and grabbed your shoulders gently.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, you're ok now, right? You're here, and not dying in the middle of the street still. You're here. In Musutafu," he said trying to calm you back to reality. Well, what was your new reality. Your mind was racing. Trying to put together a coherent thought. 

You look up to him, with a panicked look still in your eyes, thoughts started to come out of your mouth as your brain was trying to catch up with the situation. "I'm... I'm in Boku no Hero Academia and, and you’re Keigo... standing... right in front of me..I have wings. I have wings? Jeezus I have fucking wings. And I’m dead in my own world. I don’t know anyone, well, wait, technically, I do know people, just-Oh gods! I’m so sorry, that name slipped out! I- I, I’m really sorry Hawks." Even in your wild state, you noticed Hawks tense up at the sound of being called Keigo by a total stranger, and were able to get out an apology. That was progress? You were slowly coming back to reality.

Hawks froze up a bit at the sound of hearing his real name mentioned. At first he wasn't sure if he believed your tale of the isekai situation, but after this he might have to reconsider it. He opted to shake off that weird feeling for now and focus on different matters. 

" I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do now? I have nowhere to go or to stay. I'm in a whole different freaking universe! My phone doesn't even hardly work here. And I have a pair of wings on my back!" You puffed them out angrily. Hawks glanced behind you and his eyes widened a little. You in fact, did have a set of bird wings. Kind of owl like wings. Not near as big as Hawks', but definitely big enough to fly you around.

Before Hawks could process the words coming out of his mouth, he was already asking you, "Would you maybe like to stay with me? I can help with your quirk too." He glanced away awkwardly. You looked towards him in disbelief.

"Dude, are you sure? We literally just met like 10 minutes ago? I mean, I'm all for it, I have nowhere else to turn to, but if you really really don't want me here, I will politely step out of your life." You so badly wanted to accept his offer on the spot, but being the considerate, mostly sensible human you were, you gave him the option to back out. Hawks shook his head.

"No, no, it's alright. You can crash here. Uh- I mean- stay here! Sorry!" You giggled at his comment.

"Well thank you very much!"

"It's all good. I have a spare bedroom you can occupy for the time being. I'll give you some clothes to sleep in that'll hopefully fit. Accidentally bought a couple things in the wrong size without looking. " (a/n: just...just assume its your size, or oversized, whatever's comfy idk) He jumped up and headed towards his room to grab you the clothes. You still sat on the floor. Still amazed at everything that was occurring.

Hawks walked back into the room and tossed you the clothes. "Hey uh, you know, you can get up now, sorry for holding you down earlier.."

You blushed and scrambled to stand up, "Oh no! It's ok! I understand. This would definitely warrant that kind of action. Some random stranger crashes into your apartment at like 1am. I completely understand. Honest."

He let out a small laugh and wearily brushed his fingers through his hair. The adrenaline of everything finally wearing off. He could feel the tiredness setting into his aching muscles again. “Ah, well, I’m going to head to bed now. The room is down the hall at the very end that you can stay in. I’ll take you out training tomorrow evening if that’s alright?”

You gave a nod of understanding and followed him down the hallway. “Goodnight Hawks,” you sang as he walked into his bedroom. He gave a hum of acknowledgment and closed his door. 

Making it into what was now your room, you changed out of your clothes so fast, eager to rid yourself of the past hours events. 

Not gonna lie, you could not figure out how to properly get your new wings into the shirt, even with the holes and snaps in the back. Your mind was too exhausted to even process this new skill. So you ended up going to bed without the shirt on and just settled for putting the sweatpants on. 

You figured it’d be good to just pass out asap. You were sure if you tried to recount the recent events, you’d spiral into a panicked mess. 

You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to sleep, trying to only think of positive outcomes for the future. But to be honest, you didn’t know enough about anything in this realm to think rationally about anything good. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I prooobably didn’t proofread this as much as I should have

[bangtangalicious]

the glow up | pjm (3)

pairing: jimin x reader

summary: after going off to college, you & your best friend committed to working out. a year later, the results show, and you cant wait for your hot hometown friends to see you. now all you wanna do is wild out and have lots of sex, and enjoy it without feeling insecure

genre: smut, childhoodfriends!au weightloss!au (is that a thing) friends-to-lovers!au

word count: 1.7k

warnings: dry humping, sleep sex/wet dream, feverishly rough sex, choking, technically dubcon but she was genuinely fine with it, slut shaming, cheating (?), basically jimin fucks you hard but he thinks he’s dreaming, creampie, unprotected sex

part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7                                                  masterlist

You woke up, the events of the morning seemingly like a world away. You became conscious suddenly to a warm presence snuggled up behind you. Jimin and you had talked for a while before returning to the party. You stayed back late helping him clean up until you both passed out from exhaustion.

The tension had been uncomfortable. Jimin decided not to bring up Taehyung’s outburst, and you too avoided the topic entirely. It was too confusing.

Jimin’s arms were wrapped around your hips tightly, his fingers gently stroking your stomach. He was totally knocked out, you could tell by the way he whimpered slightly when you tried to move. You sighed, trapped by him completely. You tried to wiggle your way out but as you shook your hips you felt something graze against your ass.

He was hard. Really hard.

Your eyes widened, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t his fault, you knew morning wood was a thing, and seeing how pressed up the two of you were, it was bound to happen. You tried to move again, but it only caused him to press even more into your soft flesh. A shaky breath left his lips at the contact. His hands loosened and slowly began sliding down your bikini bottom. You gasped.

“Jimin what are you doing” You hissed. No response was heard, all you felt was Jimin’s cock desperately prying for freedom from his trunks, now against your bare ass. He slowly rolled his hips, humming in pleasure. “Jimin. JIMIN.” He was still asleep, you realized.

You could move, but you knew if you moved now he would wake up, and then he would ask what happened. And you really didn’t want to have to deal with that. Or maybe. You liked the feeling.

You wondered what Jimin must be thinking about. Was it you he was fucking in his dreams? He had denied you earlier. Your heart dropped as you recalled his cruel comment about Taehyung having came in you, and that grossing him out so much he refused to have sex with you.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize the way Jimin’s hands had found your breasts, pulling you back into him with all his strength. You moaned in surprise. The feeling of his hands, slightly dry from the day in the pool but so large, covering the entirety of your breast and clutching it as if he was holding on for dear life.

You could feel his heart pounding against you. You wiggled your ass against him, seeing if he would react. He let out a high pitched whine, which cause goosebumps to spread across you. He sounded hot. You felt yourself getting wetter.

Apparently so did Jimin, because his hips bucked into you, his bulge dancing past your entrance in a quick thrust. You squealed at the sensation. The fact that he was acting involuntarily, following nothing but instinct, turned you on beyond reason. You felt him exhale heavily, his hot breath tickling the nape of your neck. He bucked his hips again, harsher this time, whining incessantly.

You could feel how bad his cock wanted to tear through the fabric and feel you. He thrust again. Then again. Harder. And harder. His hands clutching your breasts more aggressively each time. You couldn’t help but scream. It felt so good. He was like a dog just humping you so aggressively in heat. You felt animalistic and you loved it. You pushed back into him more, spreading your legs so he could rut right where you craved him.

His pace quickened. If anyone had walked into the room at that moment, they would see Jimin, eyes shut and lips parted, humping into your ass like there was no tomorrow, and you, pretty much naked, a moaning mess with your eyes rolling back in bliss.

“Jimin” You exhaled, turning your head as much as you could to try to see him. “Fuck, Jimin baby you feel so good”

His face was blushed pink, sweat forming at his forehead. He groaned as you spread your legs even more, allowing your wetness to seep through the fabric of his shorts. He let out a low growl.

Suddenly his eyes flew open, but he didn't stop. He was completely gone, you could see it in his expression. He his were lustful, almost frightening. He met your eyes briefly, not even comprehending who you were or what was happening before he flipped you over and yanked down his trunks. He grabbed your neck with both of his hands as he shoved his cock inside of you without any warning. You screamed out, not expecting the large girth. You were luckily wet enough for him to get inside you without too much resistence, but the speed had you crying out.

“Jimin—“ You tried to choke out but Jimin’s grip on you tightened. He fucked himself into you harshly, groaning at the way your pussy clenched down on him. He lowered himself so his chest was flush against your back as he continued to roll his hips into you. He grazed his teeth across your jaw before sucking it harshly. “Holy fuck” You muttered under your breath.

His pace picked up relentlessly, as if it were even possible for him to fuck you faster. Each thrust was practically splitting you opn. You tried to spread wider but you physically couldn’t. You were ruined under him, and you loved it. You felt yourself teasing your own edge with his cock hitting you in all the right ways. You cried out, nodding your head like an idiot, knowing full well that Jimin did not know nor care what you were doing.

You came like an avalanche, your body twitched and writhed under Jimin. You felt like you were going to lose your voice with how loud you were screaming as his pistoling cock did not give you a second to breathe. You gushed against him, your slick cum making his thrusts even easier. Before you knew it you felt him shoot hot com through you as he let out a loud moan. He buried himself as far into you as he could, pushing your face up against the headboard as his hands practically stopped your breathing. You felt dizzy, but so so good. He recoiled, laying down on top of you then, the full weight of him crushing you.

“Jimin!” You shouted as your ribs felt weak under the pressure. He blinked a few times before he suddenly jumped off of you.

“Oh my god” He whispered, looking at you, with his cum messily dripping down your legs and on your ass. You turned slowly, the soreness beginning to catch up with you. “What the fuck happened”

You exhaled, laughing slightly, “You tell me”

He shook his head frantically, worry filling his eyes, “Oh my god y/n…fuck…no. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. I had no idea I…” His face reddened, “I thought I was dreaming”

You giggled, curling your finger and motioning him towards you. He obeyed, crawling into your embrace. He held you like you were a delicate piece of glass that he almost shattered.

“I know. You were wild”

“I didn’t fuck” His frustration was evident as you stroked his back calmly, “I didn’t want our first time to be like this”

“Yeah I mean, being conscious is definitely better” You joked. Jimin shook his head.

“I can’t believe my dick has just been where Taehyung’s has. EW” He shuddered, looking at you in horror. Your face dropped.

“W…what? That’s still your issue?”

Jimin sighed, stroking your hair, “Would you wanna suck my dick if I had it stuffed in someone else’s vagina the day before?”

You shrugged. You guessed you understood his perspective, but that didn’t make his words hurt less. Jimin kissed your cheek.

“Please don’t take it the wrong way baby. It was so good. You felt so good. And I want you so bad. But it’s…too soon. I still just can’t believe you’d just let someone so random touch you like that.”

You nodded, wanting to put the discussion to rest before you bit his head off in retaliation. You reached over for your phone, seeing a few missed messages.

tae: im so sorry princess

You chuckled, raising your eyebrows. Taehyung was the last person who needed to apologize here. You glanced at Jimin, who was also on his own phone, hand caressing your thigh absentmindedly.

y/n: don’t be sorry omg. wanna hang?

“Do you wanna grab lunch?” Jimin asked softly, without looking up, “There’s a new taco place that opened up near here. I know you love Mexican so”

Your heart clenched.

tae: yeah i can pick you up. u still at jimin’s?

“Jimin” Your voice wavered. You had never been so conflicted in your life. Jimin was amazing, you adored him. He knew you better than anyone else and was so so sweet. But somehow this whole sex thing was making you question your willingness to redefine your relationship into something more. You weren’t sure if it was because of how amazing it felt to fuck Taehyung, or because Jimin was being an unapologetic little bitch about your promiscuity. “I think I need some space”

y/n: yeah, sounds good. b out in a few

He turned quickly, his eyes sad. You hated that you even had to have this conversation at all, “I just need some time to myself to figure stuff out. I’m not leaving you, I’ll come back. I’m just not sure if I wanna jump into this right now”

His eyes darkened and he pursed his lips. “Oh, okay” He faked a smile and kissed your nose again, lingering. “Just text me okay. Whenever. Whenever you’re done…doing what you need to do” You nodded. You got dressed and Jimin gave you some clothes. As you walked out the door his grabbed your wrist lightly.

“Y/n” His eyes were watery, “I’m still here for you okay. Please…” He inhaled sharply, “Don’t leave me”

You gave him a small smile, “I won’t Jimin”

“Promise?”

You swallowed your guilt and nodded. You walked out to the street and looked at your phone.

tae: i’m down the curb. same car.

You grinned, turned and waved one last time to Jimin, before walking away, your fingers excitedly tapping your phone.

<-----previous                                                                               next----->

A/N: ~sips water~ 

taglist: (lmk if you wanna be added!!) @honeyspillings @hollowtree10

[hammeredalcoholic]

im so sorry

killer queen/reader ; NSFW/18+

i literally had a dream about this and my mind would not shut up until i wrote it im sorry, this is so self indulgent 

“Killer Queen,” The words drifted from your lips, barely above a whisper. The Stand in question was quite literally sprawled on top of you, its hands playfully toying with your hair. You placed a hand on its head, softly scratching the spots behind its ears. 

This isn’t the first time that Queen has done this to you. It was quite frequent, being that every time Kira let his guard down at home, his Stand would immediately latch onto you. 

It was cute. 

It made you feel so loved, knowing that Killer Queen was essentially your husband’s soul, only more cat-like and emotional. Yoshikage wasn’t the most clingy person in the world, but the fact that his stand decided to cuddle up with you said practically everything. 

Plus, Kira was a busy man. He liked to keep up his routine, and sometimes, spending quality time with you wasn’t quite possible. It’s not that it mattered much though, he was certainly doing his best, and that’s what counted in your eyes. 

Killer Queen let out a purr, its hands moving away from your hair and towards your chest. Sometimes, Queen would fall asleep against your chest, meaning that Yoshikage was most likely dozing off wherever he was in the house. It always managed to warm your heart. 

But tonight was different. 

It was a subtle difference in how Queen was acting-- its eyes blown out and wide, curious. Its hands were no different, moving slowly down to your chest, watching as they ran over your breasts, softly kneading the material of your shirt. 

Killer Queen hadn’t done this before, despite being very touchy-feely with you. The stray gasp that left your lips caused the Stand to stop, its eyes quickly going to your face. It watched you silently, their hands still sitting on your chest. 

Your cheeks felt incredibly hot. 

Why was Queen doing this? 

And why was it bringing out such a reaction from you?

It’s not like you were touch starved or anything. Kira was a good husband, he took care of the many-- uh, needs that you had. But, if you were thinking clearly, it had been a week or so since you last had the chance to get your husband alone. 

Yoshikage had been working more overtime lately, as well as bringing home some paperwork to do.

Would it be so bad to indulge in this? 

Killer Queen was technically your husband’s soul, after all. 

In the time you were thinking, Killer Queen was studying every slight movement of your body. When you finally came to the conclusion that you could enjoy this, you relaxed back into the couch. Another tranquil purr was heard, followed by gentle gropes of your chest. 

Being slightly curious yourself, you let your hands slide up the Stand’s thighs, feeling the almost velvet like skin. The shiver that racked Killer Queen’s body surprised you, their eyes sliding shut momentarily. 

That’s when you remembered. 

Kira can feel whatever happens to Queen. Kira can also feel anything that Queen touches.

Did that mean your husband had been feeling you up this whole time? 

The thought alone was enough to make your thighs clench together. Killer Queen’s hands trailed lower, moving to slip under your shirt. Its hands traced your exposed skin, sharp claws scraping against your flesh. 

God, you could get used to this. 

Their hands quickly found your bra, then stopped. Its bright pink eyes sparkled with curiosity, before practically ripping the material of your shirt in half. 

“Queen!” You gasped, your hands gripping their thighs with fever. As soon as your bra was exposed, the curiosity in its eyes was back. A single clawed digit ran across the underwire, playing with the small lace bow that was stitched between the cups.

Your face quickly heated up again, watching as the Stand played with it, before dipping a claw under the material. Within moments, the article was ripped in half, falling loose on your chest. You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, before looking up Queen. 

Its soft pink eyes dragged across your breasts, almost studying them. Soon enough, it’s gloved hands were groping your skin, with the gentlest touch. You quickly bit your lip to quiet a moan, the flesh of their fingertips felt delicious. 

Your fingers gracefully felt their way up the Stand’s thighs once more, touching softly along the ridges in its skin. You briefly wondered if a Stand could even have genitals. It seemed rather nonsensical, they were only a figment of a person’s soul-- but you still wondered. 

You let your eyes run over the being on top of you, their bright pink eyes still focused on your chest. Despite the obvious cat ears on it’s head, Killer Queen was built like a human. A wide chest and toned abs, chiseled arms and legs-- oh.

It seemed like you had gotten your answer. 

Between the Stand’s legs, almost obscured by the belt it wore around their hips was its cock. It definitely wasn’t human, ridges lining the shaft and small bumps lining the tip. It was also decently bigger than your husband’s, from what you could tell. 

Killer Queen must have noticed your attention on it, as their hips pushed down and rocked against your pelvis. You didn’t even realize how worked up you had gotten until a harsh moan was ripped from your throat, your pulse practically thumping in your ears. They continued their motions, hands moving from your breasts down to your hips, claws digging into the flesh just slightly. 

Holy fuck.

You couldn’t help but open your legs, letting Queen have more access. It felt so good, pressing up against your clothed core deliciously. Before it resumed grinding against you, one of their hands quickly unclasped the belt, letting it fall to the couch with a dull thud. 

You didn’t know how much longer you could last. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait.

Killer Queen’s claws gripped the waistband of your pants, almost tearing them right off your body. With minor adjustments, you managed to slip out of them, leaving yourself completely naked in front of them. 

“Killer Queen,” You barely breathed, your hands moving to grasp at their shoulders. 

You could feel your arousal practically dripping onto the couch, their eyes watching you like a hawk. Within moments your position was moved, Killer Queen flipping you onto your stomach. Their claws slowly traced your back, down to your ass, before pulling your legs apart. 

Arching your back just slightly, you tried hard not to let your excitement show, but when the tip of Queen’s cock teased your entrance, it was hard not to be impatient. You gasped at the feeling, the feel of its skin completely different and alien to you. 

Killer Queen’s hips leaned forward just slightly, pressing against your hole. One of their hands smoothed its way up your back, tangling in your hair and pressing your face into the cushion. Without even a second passing, Queen pressed into you, sliding it’s cock between your folds with extreme precision. 

It felt like heaven.

Gasps fell from your lips, only to be muffled by the couch. The small bumps and ridges felt amazing, rubbing up against your walls and pressing into all your sweet spots. They were stretching you, and a spike of pleasure ran up your spine from the burn.

You briefly wondered what Yoshikage was feeling. 

With a firm thrust from Killer Queen’s hips, that train of thought easily fell off the rails. 

The Stand didn’t wait more than a minute for you to adjust, pulling out their cock and slamming back in with rushed fever. You quickly planted your foot on the floor, desperately trying to meet their thrusts. 

Killer Queen’s hands moved to the couch cushion, its claws digging into the material. You couldn’t hold back your voice, letting out harsh whines with every snap of the Stand’s hips. 

You’ve used some odd toys before, but nothing has ever felt like this. 

“God, fuck, Queen…!” You almost screamed, their cock easily hitting your g-spot. With your loud whimpers and cries they continued to hit it mercilessly, digging its claws deeper into the cushion. You felt a familiar tingle in your abdomen, like a burning coil tightening, ready to burst at any moment. 

Yoshikage has never managed to make you cum like this. 

With another harsh thrust, your vision went white. Your orgasm hit hard, rushing over your body like a wave. Your legs shook under you, high pitched moans leaving your lips. 

You clenched hard around Killer Queen, and with a few more hurried thrusts, you felt something warm spread inside you. Did they actually cum inside you? How was that possible? 

Not having the energy to question any further, you let your body relax against the couch. Queen pulled out of you gently, its claws moving to softly run down your back. 

Hurried footsteps were heard from the hall, and you turned your head towards the door. 

Kira quickly came to the doorway, looking completely and utterly fucked. His pants were unbuckled, something staining the lavender fabric. Tie discarded and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone. 

His cheeks were painted pink, and blond hair tousled and sweaty. 

“I--” He started, this voice shaking and uneven. 

“I didn’t know that was possible.” You said, your body and mind too exhausted to really comprehend anything. Your husband’s eyes widened, before he ran a hand through his curls. 

“I didn’t either.”

[ajdrawshq]

Riku for the character thing! (And Junpei? Maybe? I think that'd be interesting °•°)

!!!!!!!!!!! putting this under a cut bc i Cannot shut up abt these two in particular bless u

Riku

favorite thing about them: gayass (affectionate) the way that hes so devoted to his best friends that it can easily turn self destructive (or otherwise generally destructive) with one wrong turn is just So. Yes. also im stealing his gender

least favorite thing about them: i wouldnt say i Dislike this bc thematically it fucks but its funny that kh1 is basically just a chain of the worlds' worst decisions bc this poor dumbass doesnt know how to deal w his feelings for his besties. he went from playful teasing on the island to getting straight up possessed how the fuck do u do things this badly

brOTP: Riku n Terra, or any of the wayfinders tbh, and the novel trio (Riku Axel Naminé) OH AND REPLIKU OFC. let Riku be the big brother figure he always wanted to be and give him more friends im begging

favorite line: "at least the waves sound the same..." always hurts me,, he spent all that time trying to escape the islands, then avoided going back there to face everyone. and now when they have no way to get back, no way of knowing if theyll ever even leave this place, hes exhausted and in pain and just.. happy to have that one last reminder of home. ok i need tp go cry now ,

OTP: Sorikai!!! and any 2 of those 3 together, Soriku is obvious but Rikai is SO sweet i love them dearly. Rikuroku is also up there because its funny

nOTP: him with any adults??? and im not a fan of Namiku tbh

random headcanon: hes nearsighted n needs glasses but is too stubborn to get his eyes checked. it only got worse when he wore that blindfold for a whole year and his friends lovingly make fun of him for it (especially Repliku, who didnt inherit his shitty eyesight lmao). also hes demi

unpopular opinion: i do think theres something big/special going on with him but im not convinced its as.. deep? as a lot of people are theorizing but it IS kh so what do i know and i really dont think disney or squenix have the balls to make him canonly/explicitely gay

songs i associate with them: unsaid by flor, Leo by Eve, A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers, and like. anything by Jaymes Young bc thats peak sad yearning music right there (ESPECIALLY MOONDUST. stripped version also. god.)

favorite picture of them: oh this one is easy. soft lil dude..

Junpei

favorite thing about them: he is literally just some guy. like the most just some guy character ever. he did NOT ask for any of this he just happened to be dragged into it for reasons he almost couldnt comprehend but were also completely unavoidable. he is ridiculously observant of his environment and other people. he absorbs information like a sponge, which is impressive considering hes a college student fighting for his life and id legit just shut down. he is rational, but tends to act based on emotion when it concerns someone else and at his core is a helpful n caring guy. his ability to joke in a life or death situation is also something between impressive, endearing and worrying. his ability to Very Easily manipulate people is even more worrying. if he werent generally a nice dude id be afraid of him. hes a walking bi disaster and i love that for him. i want to be his friend

least favorite thing about them: horny. also didnt he become an alcoholic or something in the next game is he ok

favorite line: lowkey tempted to list every quote from his wiki bc holy fuck this dude is funny but this one killed me

(although the "people liquid" bit that i do Not remember encountering is up there. and his bi awakening by the elevator)

brOTP: his interactions w like.. idk basically everyone in 999 is so so good but if i had to choose id go w him n Aoi, Snake, n Clover

OTP: i.. dont know what to put here other than Junepei?? i dont rly even ship him with people i just think he needs therapy right the fuck now. or that Carlos guy he flirts with in one of the other games (i think??)

nOTP: idek just the obvious stuff i guess??

random headcanon: that dude is Not neurotypical. i dont have any evidence or anything i just think hes neat and i relate too much to his whole "idk what im doing in life im just kinda here" thing. and the fact that he carries damn near every puzzle he encounters and the 999 puzzles make my brain go brrrrr. shooting him with my adhd beam

unpopular opinion: uhhh.. what counts as a popular opinion???? what is the general consensus on this guy. will say that im afraid to touch the other ze games bc of whatevers going on w him but thats the only thing i got here

song i associate with them: ive been thinking very hard abt this one for thr past few days and i actually cant find anything that clicks here which is. surprising. if u squint i guess some of the songs i put for Riku could fit tbh..

favorite picture of them: i wanted to put that one shot of him during the true end looking at the sudoku puzzle but then i found this concept art of him n .. it appeals to me

[strawberrysoup]

Pocketful of Posies || Chapter 2

You’d been hiding for years and years now; from your  family, from society, from alphas and packs. Suppressants were dangerous but effective and necessary for an omega who refused to be owned—but no suppressants were strong enough to fool the nose of a super soldier, who together with his pack would stop at nothing to bind you to them forever.

pairings: dark!Avengers x reader word length: 5k chapters: 2/? warnings: A/B/O dynamics, power imbalances, noncon and dubcon sexual situations, loss of autonomy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat — this is a dark!fic, read at your own risk. Open the read more and CTRL + F, search “content warnings” to skip to detailed trigger warnings at the bottom of the chapter.

hey read this: im desperately hoping this lives up to the standards the first chapter apparently set my dudes, fingers crossed i don’t lose any of you with this one 🤞🤞 also before we get started i just wanna let yall know i am very firmly set in my decisions for the designations and i do not apologize lmao 🤙 

You had been manhandled often enough in your life but fuck this time in particular. Even if you’d managed to pass as a beta for more than a decade, you weren’t strong and couldn’t stand your ground in the face of an alpha three times your size. Steve had sucked his fingers clean and easily hefted you up into his arms, following Bruce back into the cabin and down into the basement—you hadn’t been allowed to clean the basement, it was one of the off-limits areas that were noted in your many instructions. If a door is locked, leave it alone. No cleaning is necessary in the basement, garage, or third floor. Wash the linens with a scent free detergent. Make sure the refrigerator is properly scrubbed out.

He’d left you on a metal countertop with instructions to be good for Bruce. You weren’t sure what that entailed but as soon as the blond left the room, your mind started to race. There was no way you could get away from Steve, Sam you could potentially outrun, but Bruce? Being left alone with the beta was the best thing they could’ve done for you. You could get away from Bruce.

“Have you been to see a doctor recently?” His voice was gentle, intended to be soothing as he came to stand in front of you. "Any check-ups, clinic visits?”

You knew there was blood drying on your cracked lips, cutting a jarring path down your throat. The taste was still in your mouth, you’d gouged your tongue and it was still actively bleeding. With that in mind you made direct eye contact with the beta before letting the mouthful spill over your bottom lip and drip down your front, hoping the gore would help emphasize your opinions on the situation.

“Sweetheart, I know you’re upset—”

“Bruce, why is she bleeding?” It was like getting punched in the face by alpha pheromones the moment the door to the room opened again and a much younger alpha stepped through with a practically panicked expression.

Before you or Bruce could respond you’d been swept up in the alpha’s arms. He was a few years younger than you, early twenties probably and being manhandled by a fetus was particularly bothersome. His scent kept you still for a few seconds before you started squirming, making a beta-like snarl while he corralled your limbs.

“Here Pete, can you sit with her over here? We need a blood draw and full work up, her natural hormones have probably been devastated by the chemicals in the suppressants she was taking,” Bruce gestured for the alpha to carry you to a metal table, likely meant to be used for some sort of experiments if the rest of the room was anything to judge by. "All of her reproductive organs could’ve been affected, I’ll need to do a pelvic exam. We’ll run an STD panel and—”

“No! I don’t consent!” Your voice came out as a growl, the best one you could manage. "This is false imprisonment! Let go of me you fucking knothead! This is illegal!”

The alpha started to purr immediately and you found yourself rendered boneless under the onslaught. It was startling—you’d forgotten how it felt, how calm and safe it made you feel. Alpha purrs were meant to soothe and comfort, the tones perfectly adjusted to the omega ear. They also caused a completely involuntary reaction in omegas, the same as all other alpha sounds. You had no choice but to feel relaxed, the white noise of a purr jumbling your thoughts.

Bruce smiled down at you, hand running over the top of your head where it rested against the alpha’s chest. "It’s okay, you don’t have to be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you, I just want to make sure you’re healthy.”

“Isn’t that better baby?” The alpha sat back on the table and pulled you to sit between his legs, tucked close to his chest. “And unless you have a guardian alpha, it’s not illegal. We’re doing our civic duty, taking care of an omega in unsafe conditions.”

The worst part was that you couldn’t fight it; you couldn’t find your way out of the calm static the purr filled your brain with. Even when Bruce started taking multiple vials of blood from your left arm, when he opened your mouth to check the damage to your tongue, when they started undressing you, you couldn’t fight. It was a hazy sort of half thought, that you wanted them to stop. It must’ve been apparent in your eyes, that you were trying to work your way out of the purr’s effects.

“Shhhh, sweetheart, you’re alright,” Bruce murmured quietly as his hands pressed the glands in your neck, fingers brushing gently against the scent gland in particular. "No swelling in your thyroid or mating nodes, that’s good. Suppressants can really cause problems in your hormone glands; the blood tests will tell us for sure but it looks like you might’ve dodged the worst of it if nothing’s enflamed. How long have you been on suppressants?”

Answering was the last thing on your mind, your eyes slowly roving over the room instead. It was some sort of lab set up, tons of machines and parts of machines, technology you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Bruce had been taking things from one particular cabinet that seemed to hold medical supplies, the rest of the place resembling a robotics factory or some kind of high-tech research and development lab. The doors had swished open automatically when Steve brought you in and when the new alpha came through. Who had automatic doors in a vacation home?

“Should I stop?” The alpha questioned the doctor, chest continuing to rumble. “I might be making her too calm I guess.”

“No, just keep doing what you’re doing Peter,” Bruce sighed slightly. "There’s too much coherence in her eyes as it is, I don’t know if the purr affects her as much as it should. I’m worried that if you weren’t enhanced it wouldn’t work at all. Look at me sweetie, can you focus on face?”

His hands cupped your cheeks, tilting your head carefully while watching your eyes. You couldn’t find the energy to focus on his face; you couldn’t imagine the purr affecting you more than it already was and dreaded the idea that it could be worse. What did enhanced mean? Like the superheroes you’d been hearing about? You didn’t keep up on current events, unless they were Omega's Rights related.

“I’m sure it’s a result of the beta chemicals dampening her omega instincts,” Peter shifted you slightly as Bruce exchanged his gloves for a new pair. "Once her body starts producing hormones on its own again she should revert back to common responses to alpha stimuli.”

“You’re probably right, we’ll know for sure once I get the blood results,” Bruce gestured for Peter to sit up more, bringing your limp body with him. “I’m going to do a breast exam and a pelvic exam and we’re done. There are some other tests I want to run but I don’t have the equipment on hand so they’ll have to wait until Tony manages to get here. Peter, can you help move her arms?”

You felt like you almost managed to swim through the purr, rage fueling you as hands manipulated your breasts. The exam itself was clinical, professional even—or it would’ve been if he hadn’t been cooing at you the whole time, how good you were being, how sweet you were, how pretty your breasts were. Peter had hummed in agreement along with the doctor, his nose trailing up and down your neck. Your hands clenched into fists and you could feel Peter’s grip on your wrists shift with the movement.

“Calm down, baby,” the alpha’s voice cooed gently against the side of your head, lips pressing into your hair as Bruce shifted away and went for the medical cabinet again. "This is important. Suppressants could’ve caused tons of problems, cancerous growths in sexual organs or secondary sex characteristics is very common.”

Death would be a reprieve. The same thought that crossed your mind any time you considered the potential effects of suppressants. A reprieve from the hiding, the exhaustion, living out of your car or a tent, eating garbage because it was all you could afford—from the constant threat of having your autonomy ripped from your hands.

You relaxed your fists until you felt his grip loosen again, even if only slightly. Your only chance would be to rely on surprise and your speed, there was no other way you’d be able to get away. Forcing your body to relax was a trial though, adrenaline was starting to course through you the more you became used to the effects of the purr. Your scent was still massively dampened by the suppressants, Peter likely wouldn’t be able to smell the shift from fear to anticipation. You bit down on the sluggishly bleeding wound on your tongue, reigniting both the pain and blood flow.

“Alright, last part, we’re almost done and then we’ll get you comfortable, okay?” Bruce was wearing new gloves again, a bottle in hand as he walked back over. "Have you had a pelvic exam before?”

You waited until he was close enough and performed what seemed to be your go to act of defiance: spitting blood directly in his face. He reared back with a short curse, Peter immediately releasing your wrists—his goal was likely to readjust you in his lap, to gain a better hold, but you were fast, faster than an alpha (always faster than alphas, it was all you had). You’d slipped from his lap and darted for the automatic doors before either of them could respond. Running through the woods naked was the lesser evil.

Steel bands. You should’ve noticed, the doors opened too soon for them to be reacting to your presence, you were so focused on getting through. But the moment you did, it felt like steel bands wrapped around your torso, pinning your arms.

The alpha’s scent was like Steve’s—the moment your brain registered it the world went hazy. You were floating, body going limp for a precious few seconds that the alpha used to sweep you into his arms and stalk further into the room. Your senses came back just in time for you to be deposited back into Peter’s lap on the table, a massive blond alpha coming into view for the first time. Your gaze was immediately stuck on his, the heterochromatic eyes nearly hypnotizing. Fighting the daze he put you in was overwhelming, especially when a wide smile split his lips and his cheeks dimpled. One massive hand reached out, almost engulfing the entire lower half of your face.

“Hello little love.” Were alphas always as insanely massive as this one and Steve, or had you just stumbled across literally your worst nightmare? “They told me you’re a flighty thing, I suppose I arrived just in time, hm? Are you going to spit blood in my face as well? It seems to be your calling card.”

The look on your face must’ve betrayed the fact that you were really, really considering it. You had a mouthful of blood and nowhere to put it but his face, honestly. Instead you used the fact that Peter was mostly propping you up to lean over the edge of the table and proceeded to open your mouth, spilling blood down onto the alpha’s shoes nice white shoes.

“I wouldn’t challenge her,” Bruce’s voice drew your attention to where he was using a towel to wipe blood off his glasses, a wry smile and affection clear on his face. "She’s putting a lot of effort into being belligerent.”

The blond alpha rumbled with a grin, thumb brushing across your cheekbone. "It’s been a stressful day for her, there’s nothing she can do that will cause any persisting damage anyway. Let her have her little rebellions.”

You wanted to be furious—what kind of asshole looked a person dead in the eyes and called their attempts to escape false imprisonment little rebellions?—but Peter seemed to have realized where your train of thought had gone because he started purring immediately. Your spine went boneless, laying you flat against his chest.

“Can you lean up against the wall with her?” Bruce directed the younger alpha to shift until both of your legs were dangling over the edge, Peter’s back to the wall the table sat against. “You’re going to need to hold her in place, even while you purr. Alright sweetie, let’s get this out of the way. Thor, will you hold her leg please?”

The sound you made was an accident. Desperation and humiliation were crawling up your spine with astounding speed, even with Peter’s purr going like a motorboat and the sound  was making it too hard to think through your instincts. Omega cries were a deliberate counterpart to the noises alphas made; whines and cries and hisses, perfectly pitched to make an alpha’s hindbrain stand at attention. The sound you made was a sharp, chirping whine—distress, distress, distress, help me, help me help m—

“Oh little love,” Thor’s voice had dropped several registers and he gently shuffled Bruce to the side so he could stand in front of you, slipping as close to the table as possible and tugging your legs to rest on either side of his hips and gently running his hands over your skin. “Let’s get you taken care of, you need rest.”

The pheromones he was putting out were meant to calm but you immediately opened your mouth, using the overwhelming scent of your own blood to drown them out. The alpha sighed and stepped aside again, taking your leg with him and spreading your thigh to rest over Peter’s leg with your foot planted on the table. A whine rose in your throat again but you locked it down, instead biting down on your tongue yet again. It was as grounding as it was painful, the tang of it souring your stomach.

It was your last coherent thought, that you were starting to feel nauseous from all of the blood you'd swallowed. Thor began to purr just after that and the sound was entirely devastating, bone deep and you went completely limp, your head falling to the side against Peter’s chest and your shoulders dropping. This is what acid felt like, you were pretty sure.

Your eyes lazily followed Bruce’s path as the doctor took his place between your legs again, lifting the other into a matching position. Some part of you was fully aware of how gut wrenching this was; completely naked and spread wide in front of two alphas and a beta, a situation you’d rather kill yourself than be in, but your brain couldn’t follow any emotional tethers while Thor purred. The doctor was speaking, you could feel his hands manipulating your vulva, but you couldn’t understand anything coming out of his mouth.

Peter’s hand came to your chin and tilted your head back until you could see him, smiling down at you. His mouth moved, your eyes almost able to track the movement of his lips enough to read them but your brain gave up halfway through. The two alphas were chuckling over something but you were distracted by the discomfort of something being inserted into your vagina. A sharp yip escaped your lips, your body still completely boneless as your eyes rolled down.

“It’s a speculum, sweetie, I’m sorry it’s uncomfortable,” it sounded like Bruce was talking underwater and you could almost feel his breath on your thigh, your mind irritatingly unable to think beyond the question 'who just keeps a fucking speculum lying around?' "Just a few more seconds while I get a pap smear.”

More discomfort came before the instrument was removed, another yip leading Peter to purr along side Thor. The rest of the exam was a blur, slippery fingers and pressure and foreign sensations. You could barely think, let alone realize that Bruce was finishing up the manual exam, when your eyes noticed movement behind them. You couldn’t really make out anything, nothing would focus, but you assumed it was Steve and Sam.

There were more voices but you couldn’t hear anything for an indeterminate amount of time. It wasn’t until Thor stopped purring again that you were able to start regaining your senses, as much as the continuous rumbling in Peter’s chest would allow. The difference between the sounds the two alphas produced was marked by your sudden ability to focus your eyes, to concentrate on voices, in the way your muscular control was slowly returning.

You were almost glad the young alpha was still purring—it meant that the spike of terror that tried to shoot through you was somewhat dulled, enough that it wouldn’t show in your scent. Sam and Steve had indeed come in, accompanied by a young woman with long auburn hair and porcelain skin, a beta from the scent. As soon as she made eye contact with you she smiled vibrantly, slipping forward and sneaking between your still spread thighs.

“You’re so beautiful,” she murmured, long fingers stroking absently against your neck as she leaned in, forcing your back tighter against Peter’s chest. "Will you let me see your trauma my love?”

Some sort of red miasma filled your vision, a fog you quickly realized was coming from her hands—and realization slammed into you like a freight train. You seen that before, in passing. And then the recognition made you nauseous—Thor. You didn’t keep up with current events, but certain names you couldn’t miss. Thor, Tony Stark, Captain America. Your eyes flashed to the blond man standing towards the back of the room; Captain America, Steve Rogers.

Desperation shot through your body like you’d been tazed. Your foot shot out of Thor’s hold, the alpha hadn’t been putting any actual effort into holding you still since you’d been so dazed, and connected with the woman’s chest to send her reeling. Before anyone else could respond, your throat rasped for several seconds before a warbling shriek escaped. The four alphas in the vicinity reacted like they’d been shot; Thor and Steve both stumbled back, and Sam’s knees practically gave out, sending him careening into the wall. Behind you, Peter, far too close to the source, immediately went limp.

There were several distress calls an omega could make. Most of the time, they were whines or chirps, noises meant to draw attention from packmates. They were small, careful sounds—nothing loud enough to attract attention from a foreign alpha or delta. Omegas were quarry to be stolen, after all, which was precisely why they had one, singular method of defending themselves against their biggest biological threat and that was a shriek.

When in close proximity, the sound was loud enough and tuned just so to daze an alpha’s hindbrain. The evolutionary explanation was that a loud shriek meant that an omega being confronted by an aggressive alpha could both temporarily stun their attacker and summon assistance—alphas or deltas, far enough away that the negative effects were nullified but within proximity to hear that an omega was in danger. The assumption being, of course, that an omega who shrieked was in danger from a stranger, not a packmate.

It only worked for a very short time though, any alpha or delta in the area would immediately converge on the omega’s location and deal with the problem—it was the reason you hadn’t used it outside. There was no reason for the effects to last when it summoned immediate assistance, though, and that meant you needed to move. You slid off the table, bare feet slapping tile as you just barely managed to dodge Bruce’s grasp. The woman, the witch from the news, was on the floor clutching her sternum.

The stairs were a blur, so was the foyer and the driveway. You hesitated at your car for all of ten seconds before running for the forest; your keys were in the pocket of your jeans, back down in the basement. Abandoning all of your possessions hurt somewhere deep in your heart but there wasn’t any time for sentiment. You had to get away, quickly.

Luckily the woods had become your home a long time ago. You moved between the trees silently, feet so heavily calloused from constantly going barefoot that you didn’t even notice the twigs and sharp stones digging into your flesh. Your brain shot into overtime. You needed to steal clothes, then cash. You’d lived with nothing for years, you could do it again for however long you needed to. The only thing you really needed was suppressants; everything else was a luxury.

You assumed they were behind you, you’d been running for a good three minutes. The straight path meant they could follow you easier but the goal had to be the maximum distance possible rather than the most strategic pattern. Your only advantage was being fast and you had no choice but to rely on it, especially since your hindbrain was wailing with every step you took. The suppressants were the only reason you could do it at all, the trade off for quieting those damn instincts being a tolerable mildness of character that did not appreciate the constant, incessant shriek of your baser self while you were trying to focus. 

All you had to do was keep quiet until you could find one of the creeks running through the forest—so close to Lake Superior there was water everywhere. You would run through the creek in several different places, to mask your scent and make it difficult to follow. It wouldn’t be hard to find a hunting blind or shack, a hole in the ground was better than going back there. The moment your eyes caught on running water you dove into it, covering yourself with mud before jumping back up to continue running.  

Captain America was super fast and you’d bet the rest of them were similar if not the same and you needed more distance. Somewhere in the back of your mind, prey behavior was setting in. Natural selection had driven your existence, you were the result of thousands of years of evolution, and the life you’d lived meant you were far more adapted to being hunted than most omegas. You were vulnerable but not helpless and as you coated yourself in more mud from a different part of the creek, chemosensory instincts started rattling through you.  

They were coming. Your scent was inhibited by the suppressant’s and that made it harder for them to follow you but they were doing their best. Combined with the water and the mud, your scent was very difficult to pin down, even for a super soldier. You contemplated climbing a tree to hide, but the insane memory of how keen the noses of the pack following you were spurred you on. You kept running, covering yourself in mud two more times, before finding a tree with a massive tangle of roots at the bottom. Fighting whatever creature had made a home down there was worth it—it went deep, was heavily covered by underbrush and detritus from the trees, but most importantly it was surrounded by wild bergamot in full bloom.  

It smelled lovely, spicy and floral with a citrusy overtone. You crawled through the dirt, wiggling between the roots and carefully avoiding crushing any plants or branches that could give you away. Whatever lived in there was out, likely foraging, and you took the creature’s absence to your advantage and pressed as far back into the hole as possible.  

You weren’t tired, despite the long, exhausting day and the fucking trauma. Another small grace that adaption had provided was that once an omega began producing adrenaline, sleep became unnecessary—it was actually considered a very unenviable omega trait in the general population, but you’d found it’s uses worth the unpleasant side effects. Your heart would continue to race for the next several hours, your pupils wouldn’t return to normal for potentially days and your blood sugar had sky rocketed and that was going to be a nightmare for how ever long it lasted. 

The waiting was going to hurt—there was nothing to pass the time and you had to actively focus on not being terrified or your omega scent could seep through, oh, what was it now? Five coats of mud from the creek, a significant amount of bergamot, and fifteen years of whatever the fuck suppressants did to your scent over time.

It wasn’t ten minutes later that you heard them. Stealth wasn’t their objective, that was clear from the amount of noise they made. You could hear Steve and Peter calling your name, although you didn’t know how they knew it. Thor was speaking, his tone low but certainly not quiet. They weren’t even moving that fast, walking almost leisurely.

“She’ll need to bathe and eat. Clint and Natasha are finishing up in New York. Steve, have you heard from Tony or Bucky? Carol?”  

“Tony’s wrapping up, should be flying over pretty soon. Carol and Bucky were on their way up but I gave them a list of things to grab while they’re going through the bigger cities. Shouldn’t be too much longer for them either though.” 

Steve and Thor were different than Sam or Peter. You couldn’t pin down exactly what had set your teeth on edge, but the scent the two blond alphas gave off was different. Their pheromones were worse, more infectious. Eye contact with Steve had made your hindbrain beg to go to him, regardless of the rationality you could usually manage thanks to the suppressants. You could remember the feel of Thor’s hand on like it was seared into your skin instead, you wanted him to never not be touching you ever again—

If you could’ve slapped yourself without making noise you would’ve. The stupid omega in your brain, that dumb, easy cunt was going to get you killed. You sealed your lips, clenched your teeth and tucked your hands under your bent knees. Night was starting to fall to your benefit, the shadows were getting darker. You were so far back they would have to crouch down and crawl half way in to see you.

If you could keep your wits until they passed you could double back, trying to find your keys would be a wash but you could grab clothes from the back of your ancient Tahoe. You weren’t sure how long you’d been in the basement, but you didn’t think it was long enough for them to have gone through your things.

“Could she have gotten this far?” You held your breath as Sam stopped far too close to your hiding place for comfort.

“Omegas are fast and she seemed faster than most,” Bruce answered. “We’ll know for sure once her blood work comes back, but from her physiology I’d say she presents as a classical omega. She’s probably the first in her family in a long, long time. To have a scream that loud in this day and age? The omega gene must’ve been skipped so long that there was no chance for it to adapt to modern omega qualities.”

“There’ve been some studies suggesting that the classical omega attributes are making a come back in the general population,” Peter’s voice came from much farther away. "They haven’t been peer reviewed enough yet and they haven’t been replicated en masse because they don’t have enough subjects, alphas aren’t exactly thrilled to have their omegas studied, but—”

“The lack of data aside, I assume there’s a correlation between the alphas willing to allow their omegas to participate and the behavior of the omega in question. Do you think—”

“Focus, Bruce,” Steve’s voice was light with affection. "The point is that yes, she could’ve gotten this far or farther. The way she keeps running into the creek is messing up the footprints and—”

Their voices faded as they continued the same linear path you’d been running earlier. The fact that they didn’t even sound a little concerned that you could get away was both insulting and unnerving. You didn’t need alphas having that kind of confidence regarding your behavior—and why weren’t they moving any faster? The paranoia was immediate and overwhelming, what did they know about that you didn’t? Something they assumed would hinder you farther along in the woods? Something they were planning for when they found you? When.

You forced yourself to count slowly to six hundred, waiting what you hoped was a full ten minutes before silently crawling out of your hide. Their scents were everywhere, you could smell where Sam had been standing almost directly over the opening in the roots. They were still too close for comfort and you turned, running back through the forest. Your feet were starting to feel sore, usually you’d at least watch where you stepped but there just wasn’t time—you had to get away before they could enact their plans.

The clearing the cabin sat in was coming up and you forced yourself to slow as you approached the tree line, keeping a careful eye out for the beta woman. You couldn’t remember what her call sign was, something to do with witches, and you definitely didn’t want her using that red magic stuff on your head.

The extra seconds of waiting paid off, watching her pace the porch for a few moments before her phone rang. She answered, walking inside and closing the doors behind her. You didn’t wait an extra second, darting across the clearing to where you car was sitting in the driveway with the trunk popped. They must’ve started going through your things but stopped part of the way through.

You could see one of your go bags though, squished between your rolled up sleeping bag and tent. The straps of the bag squeaked with how hard you yanked it out, hesitating slightly—instinct told you to leave the sleeping bag, but you’d grown used to the luxury of it and leaving the stupid thing behind made you decidedly sad. You tossed the straps of the go bag over your shoulder and turned away, knowing it would slow you down and—

There was an Iron Man suit standing directly behind you, gauntlets rested on the hips and the head cocked to the side. You froze, as if staying still could prevent it from noticing you. Fuck, you hoped there wasn’t a man in there. A stupid thought, you considered as you stared silently, trying to decide if there was any way out. Hope was a joke at this point but you didn’t have anything else.

“Hi princess,” it was a distinctly human voice, if filtered. "Hope I didn’t miss too much of the fun.”

  content warning: nonconsensual medical procedures, general noncon touching/assault.

edited 7/9/21 - still on hiatus

[megalony]

Teacher’s pet- Part 19

Here is the latest part of my dad! Ben Hardy series, I hope you will all like this part I know it’s taken me a few days to get it done. Feedback is always lovely to have.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogermeddow​ @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​ @gwilymleeisbae​ @k-k0129​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @glittrixvibe @youngpastafanmug​ @ultraviolencezs​ @kdatthecastle​​ @darlindolan​​

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) teaches at the school Ben’s boys go to and they soon start a relationship. But they have their ups and downs with the problems Ben faces with his boys and how quickly the relationship progresses.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tired sigh passed through Ben's lips as he slouched further down in the light blue leather chair beside (Y/n)'s bed. After spending the night and most of the morning in the same chair, it had turned from comforting to a very painful chair to sit in for hours on end.

He knew that very soon he was going to have to go to his mum's house and see the boys and take them home for the night but he didn't want to leave (Y/n). He had called his parents early in the morning to let them know that (Y/n) and their girl were okay and being taken care of and to ask if the boys were okay. His mum had said it was fine for the boys to stay for a few nights because she knew Ben needed to be with (Y/n) and the baby right now but Ben said he wanted to have the boys tonight. He didn't want to be away from any of them for too long in case they got unsettled.

When he talked to his mum he said he would be there to get the boys at around four in the afternoon but he doubted he would be there in time anymore. He wanted to talk to (Y/n) before he left and make sure she was okay with being on her own for the night because her parents couldn't come and stay with her tonight. But she hadn't woken up yet.

She had slept through the night due to the painkillers and the exhaustion of everything she had been through and it was understandable. (Y/n) had woken up at around ten in the morning and talked to Ben as much as she felt able but she had fallen right back off to sleep without wanting anything to eat or drink and she hadn't woken since.

Ben was at least relieved that (Y/n) seemed better than she did last night.

The painkillers had been lowered this morning, she had had two blood transfusions late into the night which seemed to have worked and had now finished and she wasn't on any oxygen either since she had mellowed out and stabalised.

With (Y/n) calm and stable, Ben had gone to see their baby girl at around half past ten at night. It surprised him how small she looked yet she didn't look that premature in his eyes. Her hands and feet were formed and there was no sagging skin anywhere on her petite frame. She could open her eyes and her features looked normal instead of shrunken and unfinished.

Doctor Mills had even told Ben that tomorrow they could hold her if they wanted which was a good sign that she wasn't in any immediate danger.

Reaching his hand out, Ben slowly brushed a few loose strands of hair behind (Y/n)'s ear, knowing she didn't like when her hair fell near her eyes. He slowly smoothed the side of his hand against her cheek like a feather brushing against her skin. Smiling to himself at the feeling of her fuzzy peach skin against his hand. Ben liked how peaceful (Y/n) looked right now, it was a much better look than how distressed and sick she had looked last night.

It was tempting to just leave and let (Y/n) rest but Ben didn't want (Y/n) to wake up and wonder where he had gone and be on her own.

Ben slowly moved his hand, trailing his fingers against (Y/n)'s neck and down to her collar bone as he leaned his head to the side, his eyes following the intricate patterns his hand was making.

His fingers tickled against her skin and gently slipped under the pale cream hospital gown (Y/n) was wearing since she hadn't had the energy to change into any clothes Ben had brought with them. But when his hand carefully caressed her chest and danced across her skin, his head ticked to the side and his eyes narrowed a little when he looked at her skin.

His cramped frame sat up straighter in the uncomfortable chair and he hunched forward like he was going to rest his head on his knees but he pushed his upper body closer to (Y/n) instead. His fingers hooked around the edge of the gown she was wearing and he pulled it down so he could look at her chest properly. (Y/n) had pale blue patches of skin on her chest as well as dark red dots that looked like a rash.

A look of contemplation came across Ben's features before he silently reached across and pressed the emergency help button.

"Baby... baby, you gonna wake up for me?"

Ben started to run his fingers across (Y/n)'s cheek and neck to try and prompt her to wake up and look at him, relieved when she finally started to blink. Her tired, rather sore eyes slowly focusing until she was looking up at him and her lips curved into a small exhausted smile.

"Are you going home to the boys now?" (Y/n)'s voice was croaky and quiet since she was still mostly asleep and hadn't used her voice in hours but Ben heard her properly. She knew that he was planning on spending the night at home with the boys and she agreed it was a good idea so they wouldn't be worried or unsettled with Ben being away for so long. To be honest (Y/n) wouldn't mind Ben going now, she didn't want him staying with her if she was only going to be sleeping off the painkillers and the after effects.

It wouldn't be fair for Ben to stay with her if she was only going to be half awake every so many hours. Unless he was staying to be with their girl, (Y/n) would rather him go and stay with the boys and make sure they were okay.

"Um, not just yet baby, the doctors coming to see you." Ben smoothed his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair as his eyes darted from her to the door when doctor Mills walked through.

Doctor Mills looked concerned considering the emergency button had been pressed but he was also apprehensive, he didn't want to come in all guns blazing and worry either (Y/n) or Ben if there was no need. But after the events (Y/n) had gone through yesterday he had been walking on egg shells in case something else happened with her. She was in danger of another haemorrhage, a number of infections, a fever, even a hernea.

"Afternoon (Y/n), is everything okay?" He looked between Ben and (Y/n), unsure which one of them had asked for assistance until he saw the look in Ben's eyes. It was almost like he felt guilty for wanting help or a second opinion on something and he clearly hadn't told (Y/n) whatever was worrying him.

"She has a rash on her chest and it doesn't look normal."

(Y/n)'s tured eyes seemed to wake up a bit more when she comprehended Ben's words. She wanted to sit up and scan her chest to see what he was talking about but she had no energy to move around just yet, nor did she have any energy to take his hand or express her worry. She hadn't had any rash last night when the midwife came back to check her over and make sure she was okay and settled. After her blood tranfusions had finished everyone seemed rather sure that she was on the road to recovery and would be fine.

"Okay. (Y/n), could we move you onto your back so I can examine you please?"

Doctor Mills could see that (Y/n) had very little energy when he moved to stand beside her so he and Ben very carefully helped her turn until she was resting on her back.

It didn't take long for Doctor Mills to examine the red blotches of skin dabbed with distinct patches of blue before Ben watched his expression turn grave. He moved to grab the stethoscope from around his neck and listened to (Y/n)'s heartbeat for a moment before he pressed it under her back to listen to her breathing.

"(Y/n) it looks like you've developed sepsis from catching an infection after labour. I'm going to call a nurse, we'll take some blood and run some tests and you're going to be put straight onto antibiotics."

Ben ran his hand over his face before he reached out and took (Y/n)'s hand in his own. Sepsis was the body's way of reacting badly to an infection, the body started to attack healthy tissue and organs because it was confused and if it wasn't treated quickly it could be fatal. The fact that this was happening in her chest was what was scaring Ben the most because if it got to (Y/n)'s heart they wouldn't stand a good chance of helping her. It had to be treated and sorted out now.

Ben wasn't going home anytime soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben didn't know what woke him.

It took him a few moments to try and scan his eyes around the room that was submerged into darkness with only a few streaks of light coming from the few machines in the room and from the gap in the door.

He could feel his body tensing and cramping from the way he had been laid in the uncomfortable chair. Ben was used to sitting in chairs for hours on end when he had to transport prisoners long distances from court to prison or one prison to another. But he was always sat up or slouched for those few hours and sometimes he was even sat in the back of the van with the prisoners. But last night and tonight he had been laid out in the chair with his feet propped up on the end of the bed and it was tensing all his muscles.

His back was bent at odd angles for a few hours each time, his legs were propped up and the edge of the bed was digging into his lower calves. And there was no good position for him to rest his head when he was sleeping but he was glad he could at least manage to sleep right now.

It didn't take too long for Ben to realise what had woken him when he pushed himself to sit up in the chair and pull his feet down from the bed. His eyes set on (Y/n) in the darkness when her hand suddenly reached over but instead of taking his hand like he thought, she hit his arm instead. Her movement was quick and hap-hazard and it was clear she didn't know if she had Ben's attention or not because she kept hitting his arm just to make sure he was waking up.

Ben was quick to turn on the light above the bed so he could see what he was doing and what was wrong with (Y/n) for her to be waking him in the middle of the night. But his eyes widened in their sockets when he took in her state.

(Y/n) was laid on her side facing Ben with her right hand clamped around Ben's lower arm but her other hand was pressed forcefully against her chest. But it was her breathing that was worrying Ben, (Y/n) sounded like she was being strangled, her breaths were like static from a tv and sounded very hard to catch. Her chest wasn't moving properly, it seemed to be expanding and expanding but not exhaling and her body was trembling and jerking like she was being electrocuted.

Ben didn't think twice before pressing the emergency button at his side before he hunched over in his chair, trying to see why (Y/n) couldn't breathe but he couldn't figure it out. His first thought was that she was having some kind of allergic reaction to something but she would have had a reaction before now if it was the antibiotics that she was having a reaction to.

"Hey, baby just try and calm down for me. Shh, someone's gonna come and help you it's okay."

He slowly brushed his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair as he moved his other hand so he could hold her hand that was grabbing onto his arm. All that Ben could think of doing was trying to calm her down right now because he couldn't work out what was wrong or make it better.

When Doctor Mills and two nurses came barelling into the room and turning the main light on, Ben wondered if this man ever had a day or even an hour off. Whenever they needed something he always seemed to be here on hand at the ready to help. It was a relief to have the same doctor here to help them but he didn't seem to go home.

"She can't breathe!" Ben's words were frantic and he was already up and out of his seat, moving towards the back of the room to let the professionals take his place. He didn't want to be in the way when they needed to help (Y/n) but Ben did still want to be in the room, he couldn't wait outside not being able to see or hear what was going on because it would drive him insane. He backed himself up against the wall, pressing one hand over his mouth to try and slow down his own breathing but he hated this.

He hated having to watch and not being able to do anything, it made him feel so useless and powerless stood at the back of the room not able to do anything for the person he loved. Ben had to stand and watch everyone else do everything for (Y/n) and wait around until she was okay enough for him to be next to her again an offer the only thing he could; love and comfort.

Doctor Mills started listening to (Y/n)'s breathing before both nurses carefully but swiftly turned her so she was laying on her back rather than her side. They moved the monitors and drips out of the way so they could help her.

"The sepsis has reached her lungs, the right one has collapsed I'm going to have to intervene. Get a room in intensive care sorted with a ventilator."

The doctor looked between both nurses before one of them left the room to sort out a room for (Y/n) when they had gotten her a bit more stable than this. When his eyes cast down to (Y/n), he tried to smile comfortingly at her to try and show her that it was okay and she would be okay before he started to get to work.

With frightened eyes, Ben watched Doctor Mills oull down the front of the gown (Y/n) was wearing so he could see her chest before he tapped his fingers against her chest. When he made sure there were no blocked arteries or veins, he pressed his index and middle fingers over two ribs on the right side of (Y/n)'s chest. Pushing the skin between his fingers so he knew where the gap was between her ribs.

He didn't have to speak, all he had to do was hold his hand out expectingly to the nurse who placed a worrying sized needle in his hand.

"Okay (Y/n), try and hold your breath for me, you'll feel like something's popped in a moment."

Ben's frame jumped against the wall when  he watched the doctor stab the needle into (Y/n)'s chest between her ribs and his two steadied fingers. The moment he did that it looked like a balloon had suddenly burst in (Y/n)'s chest which deflated instantly.

(Y/n) seemed to gasp and cry out all at once as her body sank down rapidly before her chest slowly rose a little more now that the air in her chest was alleviated and her lung could expand properly. But even though she could breathe better, Ben could still hear the static sound as she started to breathe and it didn't look like she was actually breathing at all. It looked as if she was drowning instead.

Doctor Mills gently pressed the end of his stethescope under (Y/n)'s back to listen to her breathing again before he reached out and pressed the intercom button.

"I need an OR set up immediately, post-natal sepsis and fluid in the lungs. Mr Jones could you step outside-"

"No! I can't leave her!"

A deep sigh passed through the doctor's lips as he didn't have the time or the effort to argue with Ben this very second.

He reached out and increased the amount of antibiotics going into her veins through the drip before he and a nurse helped to turn (Y/n) onto her side in case she was sick and to decrease the chances of the fluid causing her to choke or drown.

"Intervene and start getting rid of the fluid and the team will come and take her to surgery."

Dr Mills gave his orders before he side-stepped around another nurse who came speeding into the room, allowing the doctor to advance oveer to Ben as (Y/n) was in capable hands. He genty rested his hand on Ben's shoulder before trying to urge him to leave the room with him. Ben watching this was only going to traumatise him and they needed to stabalise (Y/n) and get her taken to an operating room, Ben couldn't be in the way of that.

"What... what's happening to her?" The desperation and sadness in Ben's voice made the doctor frown. He could never get used to seeing people cry in front of him or be so cut off and desperate like this because he couldn't help them, he could only help the ill.

"The sepsis is affecting her lungs, her antibodies are attacking the healthy tissues in her chest and it's caused her lung to collapse but the other lung is starting to fill up with fluid. She needs an operation to drain the fluid and attach a tube into her lung so if this keeps happening we can keep draining it. Then she must be on a ventilator until she is well and stable enough to breathe on her own."

"Could she die?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dad!"

The moment Ben closed the front door behind him his body was overcome by his boys attaching themselves to him like monkeys clinging to a tree. A sigh passed through his lips and he wasted no time in lowering himself down to his knees so he could wrap his arms around all his boys. He buried his face in Carter's hair who was clinging to his right side as he had Finn buried in his chest and James attached to his left arm like he was never going to let go.

"Hey, you all okay?" He breathed through the words, his eyes tightly closed as he didn't dare let any of them go.

"Missed you." Finn mumbled quietly, not prepared to let Ben go just yet. They had all spent three nights here with their nan, away from Ben and it was the longest they had been away from him in over a year. They hadn't thought that (Y/n) having a baby would mean they were away from both parents for so long.

"Yeah, where's mum?" Carter pulled his head back just enough so that he could look between Ben and the door, trying to see if (Y/n) would be walking through the door at any moment or not.

"She's at the hospital buddy... come on let's go sit down."

Ben moved his arms so he could pick Finn up and rest him on his hip before he motioned for his other two boys to walk ahead of him and go into the living room. Ben's eyes briefly locked with his mother's who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen before he guided the boys to sit down. He watched Carter and James sit down on the sofa before he gently settled Finn down next to them. Leaving Ben the room to kneel down on the carpet in front of them.

"Is mum okay, and little sister?" The moment their nan had told them that (Y/n) had had the baby, James had been desperate to go to the hospital and see their sister. He couldn't remember what it had been like when Finn was born but he had been fascinated this time around with (Y/n)'s stomach and knowing how big the baby would be and when she would be here. Now he just wanted to go and see what she looked like.

"Yeah... um, boys listen up for a minute. (Y/n) had the baby the other night like nanny said, but they're not very well at the moment."

"Why?"

"Your sister's here a bit early so the doctor's are looking after her but she's fine, nothing's really wrong with her. But your mum... she's been ill, she had an operation last night so I had to stay at the hospital with her again to make sure she's being looked after."

Ben didn't know how to explain it without upsetting, scaring or angering any of them. With their sister it was easier to explain because she was just premature, the doctor had assured Ben that she was doing well and in two weeks or so she would be fine to be out the incubator. But with (Y/n) it was different because her problems couldn't be cured or helped so easily.

"Operation for what?" Carter's words were slow and calculated but his expression was for once, very easy to read.

"She got an infection and it made her really poorly, she had to have an operation to clear her lungs. But it worked and I've seen her this morning, she's okay at the moment but she's gonna be in hospital for another week or two."

The operation had worked, (Y/n)'s lungs were cleared of fluid and a tube was inserted into her chest to keep draining them but she was on a ventilator since she couldn't breathe on her own. They had to wait and see if the antibiotics were working and clearing the sepsis and it was a waiting game that Ben didn't want to play.

"Can we go see mummy?"

"I'm taking you all home with me tonight and tomorrow I'll take you to see your sister, but you can't see your mum just yet. In a couple of days when she's feeling better then you can visit her, but not right now boys. You can see her soon, I promise."

There was nothing Ben wanted more than to take them to see (Y/n) to lift her spirits and calm them all down. But he couldn't let them see her on the ventilator, it would scare the hell out of all of them to see her unable to breathe herself, being hooked up to so many wires and machines. And they wouldn't like her not being able to talk to them. (Y/n) looked ill and the boys seeing her like that would only worry them further and Ben couldn't do that to them.

Ben couldn't let them worry like he was.

[shoutaaizawas]

one month anniversary event? hUH can i join?? if it’s no hassle: could i request bakugou in hunger games au! with the prompt “Whatever you do, don’t open your eyes.”? i would love to see what you do, thank you in advance 🥺💞 i love your work, binge worthy 100%. please take care! :)

im so sorry this took FOREVER ilysm your comments give me life thank you for all your support

↳ bakugou katsuki x reader → no final goodbyes

event: au prompts summary: you and bakugou are childhood enemies. when you’re picked for the annual hunger games you’re shocked when he volunteers. word count: 6,599 tags/warnings: hunger games!au, angst, like really angsty 😳, violence, blood mention, character death a/n: uhhhh i’m sorry also there was so much i wanted to put but i had to stop myself or this would have been a whole novel alternate ending

You hated Bakugou Katsuki. You had since you were kids. You grew up in District Seven next door to the Bakugou household. Ever since you could remember you were arguing with Bakugou. Your parents would laugh and say it was normal if he got on your nerves so much maybe it was because you had a crush on him.

The thought had always disgusted you. Sure, as you both got older Bakugou certainly got quite attractive and filled out. He went from a scrawny kid to a man in what felt like overnight, it was hard not to notice his muscles.

You recalled one day you were trying to nap but the repeated sound of banging outside kept waking you. You stormed outside to yell at him but you were not expecting the sight of him shirtless and swinging an ax down onto firewood. Your throat felt like it was drying up and you turned around before he caught you.

When had he gotten attractive? It didn’t matter, he was still the same unbearable Bakugou you had known since you were born. Looks couldn't make up for that personality.

Despite your distaste for each other, Bakugou’s mother insisted he walk with you to school to watch over you. You would complain and say that it was unnecessary but your mother would scold you for being rude and tell you to just accept it.

Some days you’d walk to and from school in silence. Others you would trade insults the whole way earning looks from people you passed.

“They’re picking tributes soon.” You said. It was rare for you to start a normal conversation but the Hunger Games were fast approaching and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared. “We’re eighteen now, it’s our last one. It looks like we might make it out.” You said with a dry laugh.

“What are you scared or something?” He replied.

“What? No, I mean what are the chances of getting picked?” You said with a shrug. “You’re probably the one that's scared.” You bit back. So much for having a normal conversation with him.

Time flew by and it was finally the day of the Reaping.

If you thought it was silent before on your walks with Bakugou it was even worse today. Despite the fact you both pretended like you weren’t scared, you were terrified and you knew even Bakugou was nervous.

If he was chosen at least he would stand a chance. He was strong and she had seen how he fought others at school in the past. If it was between him and a trained district kid you’d bet on him every time.

You, on the other hand, you never had held a weapon in your life. You weren’t very strong and not very fast. Your chances were overall bad.

Bakugou stopped as you approached the place where you would go your separate ways.

“Our last one, after this we don’t have to worry.” You said forcing a smile.

“Whatever.” He scoffed before turning to walk to the boy's side.

“I was trying to be nice for once.” You complained. “Screw you, I hope you get picked.”

You might hate Bakugou but you didn’t mean it. In fact, the thought of him getting picked made you feel things you couldn’t explain. After this was over you’d walk home and complain about the boring life you’d have in District Seven and bask in the relief of knowing that you would be safe.

As the escort of District Seven stood on the stage you stood in the crowd tapping your foot. This would be over soon and you could go home and never worry about this again.

“Ladies first.” The woman said fluttering to the left side and drawing from the pool of names there. She opened the paper and announced the name.

Heads turned but one set of eyes burned into you more than others. You couldn’t breathe. You were suffocating, drowning, frozen to the ground. You turned to look at Bakugou from across the crowd. Staring at him, helpless with tears in your eyes. You didn’t know why he was the first person you sought out.

“Come on, dear. Don’t be shy!” The woman said waving you up to the stage.

Taking shaky steps you walked through everyone to the stairs. Standing up there was surreal. It felt like a nightmare. Your eyes stayed on Bakugou’s red ones, how odd you looked to him for comfort in the worst time of your life. You supposed this would be the last time you’d look into those familiar eyes. Why did that make you so sad?

The woman moved to the boy's side and pulled a name but you could hardly pay attention. You snapped out of your fog when you heard a familiar voice.

“I volunteer!” Your eyes snapped to the ash-blond you had known your whole life. What was he thinking?

Bakugou walked to the stage and you stared in disbelief. What was going on?

It was a blur, you were ushered into a room with your parents. They were sobbing, hugging you, holding you like it’d be the last time. Well, it would be the last time, you supposed.

You were led to a train, the inside was decorated far nicer than most things in your district. You sat there feeling numb. It was overwhelming enough being picked but you were trying to wrap your head around Bakugou. Why would he volunteer? None of you ever wanted to be picked. This wasn’t District One where people trained for it.

Bakugou entered and stared at you blankly. You don’t know what happened but something snapped in you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You screamed, lunging for him. The escort for your district was quick to make her way to the other side of the train car to avoid the commotion. “Why would you volunteer? Do you have some death wish!?”

You grabbed at his shirt, hitting his chest but he stood still and unmoving not saying a word.

“What about your parents? What about your future? You’re throwing it all away!! It’s bad enough I got picked I didn’t have a choice.” Tears ran down your face uncontrollably. “You had a choice! You had a choice!”

A man you hadn’t seen before pulled you off of Bakugou, leading you to one of the rooms on the train.

“Cool off here for a while.” The man with long black hair said. “It’s a lot to take in. Take your time processing it.”

With that, he closed the door. You laid on the bed, your throat raw from screaming. It didn’t take long for your tears to come. You sobbed and sobbed, curled up on the bed. Why did this happen?

By the time you woke up you hadn’t even realized that you fell asleep. You felt so exhausted. It was still hard to understand everything that had happened. How did you get picked, why could Bakugou volunteer?

You avoided him, not wanting to see him. Every time you thought about him it stirred a rage in you that you didn’t quite understand.

The man that had pulled you off of Bakugou introduced himself as Aizawa Shouta, he was a previous winner from your district. Even though he had won you could see the damage that it left on him. That scared you, even people who won looked miserable.

Aizawa explained that he was to mentor you both and help as much as he could to prepare you for the games. It still didn’t feel real as he explained it all.

Before you knew it you were in the capital, a place you never expected to see. It was big and fancy, far more developed than your district. You followed alongside Aizawa, Bakugou on his other side. You didn’t want to look at him but you still felt the urge to sneak glances at him. When you did his eyes were on you, once you realized that you would look away quickly as if you hadn't been looking in the first place.

The building you were to stay in until the games began were modern and high tech. You stayed in your room, even when you were told dinner was ready. You wanted to be alone, more than that you didn’t want to be around Bakugou.

A knock on the door caught your attention. You cautiously opened it to see Aizawa there with a plate of food. He handed you the plate and you let him in.

“Why won’t you come out for dinner?” He asked.

“I don’t want to see him.” You said, taking a bite of the food even though you didn’t have an appetite. The food was of better quality than anything your family could ever afford. Did they feel better if they spoiled the children before sending them to their deaths?

“He volunteered.” He said the way he said it implied that he knew something that you didn’t.

“Yeah, and that was stupid.” You said. “Why would he choose a death sentence.”

“Things aren’t always that simple.” He said.

You stared at him, trying to comprehend what that meant. What valid motivation could he have?

“I’ll let you get some rest but you have training tomorrow.” He said.

“Training?” You questioned.

“Yeah, you'll have time to train for the games. You should pick something to impress the judges so they’ll give you a good rating.” He said. “If you get a good rating people will support you, send you stuff to help during the game.”

“Oh.” You said. You had seen some of it on TV but you always tried to avoid watching most of it. It made you sick to see children sent off to their deaths. You had seen people you grew up with sent to the games. You supposed you’d have to do the interviews too. How were you supposed to pretend to be some charming person when you were just a lamb for the slaughter?

Days went on and you trained from morning to night, you weren’t strong but you tried to practice with some weapons. An ax felt familiar you used it to chop wood before. It felt pointless, even if you could use it well enough you knew you didn’t have it in you to kill someone. You had no chance.

You spent a lot of time studying the plants, it interested you even if it would only help you so much. There were a lot of plants that were good for healing and some were even dangerous.

Reading a book on herbology, you sat far away from the other tributes who were sparring and throwing weapons at targets. It was hard to focus knowing that you’d be their target in a few days.

“Why are you wasting your time with that?” A familiar voice said behind you.

“It’s none of your business.” You spat back at Bakugou.

“Plants aren’t going to keep you from getting a knife in your back.”

“Why are you even here? How stupid are you to volunteer?”

“I’m going to win. I win at everything I do.” He said.

You stared at him in disbelief. You knew that Bakugou strives to beat everyone in his way but he never expressed that in regards to the Hunger Games. He always acted the way you did and how most did. They were disgusting and you wanted to avoid them as much as possible.

You turned your attention away from him, you couldn’t deal with him. You didn’t have long before the games would begin. You had to focus on what you were doing for the judges, not that it mattered. You knew you couldn’t compare to the others. You didn’t have much of a chance.

For the judges you displayed your knowledge of plants, it wouldn’t get you a great score but it was better than doing nothing. They seemed barely interested so you didn’t expect much.

Sitting on the couch of the apartment you were staying at with Bakugou and Aizawa you weren’t shocked to see yourself get a four. You heard a scoff from Bakugou and you sent him a dirty look. You were shocked to see Bakugou get a twelve. You knew that he was strong and his willpower alone was enough to make him the best at everything he did but it still left you wondering just what he did to get that score.

Time passed quickly and before you knew it the interviews were up. It was the last big event before the games would begin. That made your stomach churn. It wouldn’t be long until you’d be in an arena and everyone there would want you dead. There hadn’t been a day since you arrived in the capital that you weren’t stuck in your head dreading what would come. It was almost impossible to sleep and even harder to stomach anything.

Your stylist had picked a deep forest green dress for you. It was elaborate and stunning. Staring at it on the mannequin, the dress reminded you of home. The forests that were damp and earthy that always felt right to be in. The hearth in your family’s home that kept you warm on the cold nights. The stews that your mother made that you loved so much. The rain against your window at night while you read your favorite book. The boy next door that no matter how much you fought with him there was a sense of comfort being at his side.

Everything that you would never see again. Tears streamed down your face and you pretended they weren’t there as you were helped into the dress.

Your interview was first. Your entrance was standard, the questions not very exciting. It was easy to feel that the crowd wasn’t very interested in you. How could you capture their interest? You knew you were just another face, just a background character in someone else's story.

Bakugou was after you, the noise of the host and him talking was in the background as you walked with Aizawa out of the backstage area.

“You volunteered and you from District Seven, that’s very rare. What could possibly make you do something like that.” The host questioned. You scoffed, you already knew his answer. ‘Because I’ll win.’ You could hear it perfectly in his voice.

“Because the girl I love was chosen.” He said. You must have misheard that. You turned to look at the screen and saw him sitting on the couch on stage looking far more dressed up than you had ever seen him in your life.

“The girl you love, and by that do you mean your district partner?” The host asked excitedly looking at the crowd as if they hadn’t heard.

“Yes, we grew up with each other. I lived next door to her, we spent everyday walking to and from school. No matter how much we teased each other or pretended we didn’t like each other I always cared about her. When I heard her name called I knew that I couldn’t watch her do this alone. I volunteered so I can protector her, and make sure she gets to make it home.” He said.

“Wow, what an amazing story. Doesn’t it tug on your heartstrings? We all wish you luck in the games.” The host said as Bakugou was ushered away.

Numbness was all you felt. His words rang in your head. Aizawa looked at you with a concerned expression.

How could he lie like that? Just so he would have the viewers on his side? Just so he would have more sponsors in the game feeling sympathy for his sob story.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You started as Bakugou walked down the hall towards you. He gave you a blank stare. “I know you couldn’t care less about me but did you really have to involve me in your story to manipulate the viewers?”

Bakugou stared at you before moving past without a word. You had expected him to yell at you or argue that it only made sense to use every advantage you could get but his silence was unsettling.

It was a blur. It was the day of the games. You stood in a cold room staring at the elevator that would lift you into the arena. This was it. It probably wouldn’t be long until you were dead. Taking a deep breath you took in the clothing you were provided. The heavy coat was large and made you feel too warm in this small room. From what you could gather it was going to be cold in the arena. At least you were used to snow. The best thing you had going for you was your survival skills if you could get away from the blood bath without dying.

Aizawa was there to give you your last bits of advice. The biggest being to avoid the cornucopia, it was always guaranteed to be a blood bath where only the strongest came out on top. Aizawa advised you to take what minor supplies you could get and hide away from others until necessary.

There was a far off look in his eyes. It was easy to tell that he was trying to distance himself emotionally. No doubt it was hard to get to know two kids every year only to watch them die horrifically.

“Thank you for everything.” You said softly.

“Goodbye.” He said giving you a sad smile.

A timer had begun counting down as you entered the elevator. Pressing your eyes closed you took a deep breath. A part of you considered if going for the cornucopia would be the best way to end things quickly. You shook your head. You owed it to your family, to yourself to at least try even if it was only delaying the inevitable.

The elevator started to move and an opening appeared at the ceiling. Cold air flooded the space and you were glad you were dressed the way you were. As you entered the arena you took in your surroundings. At least two feet of snow blanketed everything in sight. Most of the space around was open but in the distance, there was a forest. Mountains and cliff sides lingered in the distance.

The cornucopia sat not far away, surrounded by different items. It was tempting but it was a setup. You glanced towards the forest, it would be the best option. The cover of the trees would help you hide away from the others.

Looking around the others surrounding you, you recognized them all. You knew which ones you should be careful of. Your eyes met Bakugou’s and your stomach dropped. Once you ran away would you ever see him again? Your last words to him hadn’t been kind. Would he win? Or would he be killed by another tribute? What would he do if it was only the both of you remaining? Would he kill you? You knew you could never hurt him.

The clock ticked and with each sound, your heart beat faster and faster.

Run. Just run. Don’t look back.

The clock hit zero and chaos broke out. You fled for the trees not sparing a look back. The snow was deep and hard to move through, thankfully you were used to the snow. You weren’t expecting to find a backpack in the snow. You grabbed it without stopping as you ran to the trees.

Once you were in the tree line you felt some relief but you knew others would have the same idea so you continued not slowing your pace. You ran and ran until you couldn’t go anymore. You spotted a tree with strong looking branches and figured it was a decent place to hide for now.

Climbing the tree you were able to get comfortable as possible so you could look through the backpack. In it were some supplies, rations, water, rope, and a few other things.

The biggest concern for survival would be cold. It was cold now and it would only get worse. Your clothing would keep you warm but it might not be enough. You waited, carefully listening to the forest and its sounds. Eventually, nightfall came and the canons went off announcing the number of deaths that had occurred for the day. Fifteen in total. More than half gone already. She wondered if they thought they could survive the cornucopia or if they had gone to it in hopes of ending things quickly. When you didn’t see Bakugou’s face among them you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

As much as you knew you needed to you couldn’t sleep. You knew the danger you were in. As the temperature dropped you wished you could make a fire but you knew it was too risky to do so.

Morning came and you wanted to hunt today, you had the rations from the backpack but you wanted to keep them as a backup if you couldn’t get food. The skill wasn’t unfamiliar, you had done it before just not with these tools. There was a hatchet in the backpack, it wasn’t normally used to hunt but you could make it work.

You had been able to kill a rabbit, making a small fire to cook it before putting it out and moving on. As night fell you made your way into another tree for the night. You accidentally fell asleep a few times throughout the night before startling awake.

Days passed and you couldn’t remember the last time you felt any warmth. Tributes died day by day, none of them were Bakugou. That was a relief and it made you nervous at the same time. You didn’t want to face him.

The landscape before you was beautiful, you had scaled one of the smaller parts of the mountain. It was risky but if you got higher up you hoped it would deter other tributes from finding you. Green pine trees covered the ground as far as you could see. It reminded you of home. You pushed that thought out of your mind before it brought you any more sorrow.

As you moved through some of the dense trees on the mountain you weren’t expecting to come upon the edge of a cliff. You stumbled, pulling back so that you wouldn’t fall but it was too late. Your gravity was off and there was no way to stop yourself now. You reached out hopelessly to catch anything to stop yourself from falling. What you weren’t expecting was for someone’s hand to grasp yours. You were pulled back to safety as you came face to face with Bakugou.

“Idiot, watch where you’re going!” He said staring at you with an angry expression.

“Bakugou?” You said in confusion, why was he here? Had he been following you. “You know it’s not a great tactic to save your enemies from dying. Kind of losing out on a free loss.”

“I don’t want to win the loser’s way.” He grunted before letting go of you, you nearly fell to the ground.

“Really, why are you here?” You questioned.

“Because it’s a good place to be, if you’re the first one in these mountains you’ll have the high ground.” He answered. “We might as well as team up since we’re both here. The others have made alliances.”

“I’m not really helpful for an alliance, you should know that.” You said, sitting down on the ground to get your breath back. Your heart was still pounding from the adrenaline.

“Better than nothing.” He said before sitting down next to you.

The silence was odd. In a way it was so similar to all the times you walked to school in silence, forgoing the usual trade of insults. But it was different all at the same time. You weren’t going about your normal day, you were in the middle of an even that would leave one if not both of you dead.

“I still don’t get why you volunteered. Even if you win it’s not worth it.”  You said to him. Even if you received money and everything else they gave was it worth the risk? Was it worth the trauma you’d be left with?

“You don’t have to understand.” He said. That left you with more questions than answers but you didn’t push further.

Taking the day you made your way into the mountains more, as night fell you stopped to make camp. You were unsure about making a fire but Bakugou didn’t seem too concerned.

“Here.” He said throwing a sleeping bag at you. You had noticed the good-sized backpack he had on when you met earlier. You wondered if he had managed to get anything from the cornucopia but you didn’t ask. Were any of the people that were killed on the first day killed by him? It was hard to imagine him taking someone's life.

“Thank you.” You said. You were thankful for the sleeping bag, it would be a lot better than the trees you had stayed in all night.

“I’ll take first watch.” He said. You wanted to argue but you were so tired from the lack of sleep that you gave in.

It was odd the sense of safety you had with Bakugou. A part of you said that he could slit your throat while you slept but you knew deep down he wouldn’t. If he was going to kill you he would be straight forward about it. You fell asleep without hesitation.

You returned to consciousness quickly, the sensation of someone’s hand pressed against your mouth. Your eyes opened up and you realized that it wasn’t Bakugou but another tribute. You tried to scream but it was muffled. Moving for your hatchet you realized that they had you fully pinned down. Tears burned in your eyes as you stared up at them.

“Get off of her!” You heard Bakugou yell. You wondered where he had been.  

“Why would I do that?” The guy said, you felt the cold steel of a blade press against your neck and you let out a whimper.

“Whatever you do, don’t open your eyes,” Bakugou said and you knew he was talking to you. Without thinking you listened.

With a yelp of pain, the guy tumbled off of you, and a weight was lifted from your chest both literally and figuratively. There was a noise of a commotion, rustling, and grunts of pain before everything went silent. A moment passed and the sound of a canon rang out in the arena.

“Just wait here, don’t look.” He said. You knew what had happened but it was hard to believe. There was more sound, footsteps, the sound of something being dragged before more footsteps. “Okay.”

Opening your eyes you could see Bakugou in the moonlight, standing over you. What stood out was the blood that covered his hands and his jacket, barely reflecting in the glow.

“T-Thank you.” You stuttered out, still scared. You knew that you would die here but coming face to face with death was worse than you imagined. “I-I” You started but tears ran down your face.

The last thing you expected was for him to kneel and take you in his arms. Your first reaction was to stiffen, was he going to kill you? When you felt him gently place you head against his chest you realized he was hugging you. As much as you wanted to push him away or argue you felt so vulnerable after what happened. You slowly wrapped your arms around him before letting loose more tears.

“You’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” He said. You had only seen this side of him once before.

When you were young you had been in the forest behind your houses, playing like you did often. It had been an accident, you weren’t looking. You jumped off a rock into a pile of leaves, playing in them. What you didn’t expect was there to be a bear trap.

The pain was so bad you had nearly blacked out. You remembered how panicked he was, rushing to your side. He disarmed the trap faster than you expected and before you knew it he was carrying you home.

The memories of it were vague from the pain and time but what stuck in your head was the soft voice he used reassuring you everything was going to be alright and the tears that welled up in his eyes.

By the time you woke up in bed bandaged up Bakugou was back to his normal self, no hint of the teary-eyed boy you had seen. A part of you always wondered if that had been your imagination trying to soothe you through the traumatic moment.

The softness Bakugou showed you know made it clear that your memory had not been incorrect. Hands gripping into his jacket he held you until your tears stopped and the sun slowly rose in the sky.

He explained that he had heard a noise and went off to look for the source and when he returned the other tribute had been on you. He didn’t apologize but you could hear the guilt in his voice. These events had just furthered your confusion about everything.

Once there was enough light you ate some rations before packing up and heading further up the mountain. Your travel was silent for the most part but every once and a while you would talk.

The number of tributes was getting lower every day. Not counting you and Bakugou there were three others left. Honestly, you hadn’t expected to make it this long. You wouldn’t have made it this long if it wasn’t for Bakugou saving you last night.

“What are you going to do if it gets down to just the two of us?” You asked, your breath appearing in the cold air.

“Why are you asking such a stupid question?” He grunted back at you.

“I think it’s a fair question.” You said. Did his avoidance of it mean that it was obvious he would kill you?

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I think the quickly approaching reality is something I should worry about.” You returned. “Unless you think I’ll die before then.”

“You might with how clumsy you are, idiot.” He said, not even sparing you a glance as his eyes scanned the snowy trail.

“Even on death’s door, you’re going to give me that attitude?” You said annoyed. “Bakugou Katsuki, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met.”

The sound of a canon went off stopping your conversation. Just a second later another one went off. You took a shaky breath. There was only one other tribute left.

Looking over at Bakugou you caught his gaze, you didn’t miss the nervous look in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“One left.” You whispered to yourself.

That night you set up a small camp in the mouth of a cave. You couldn’t bring yourself to eat anything, the nerves were too much. It was almost over, how had you made it into the top three? Would the last tribute kill you both? Or would Bakugou kill the last tribute? Then what?

It came crashing down on you even harder than it had before. Someone had to die. You and Bakugou wouldn’t make it out together, there was only ever one winner. Tears streamed down your face before you recognized them.

Bakugou Katsuki had been a constant in your life, a constant you always thought that you hated but sitting here confronting the idea of him dying tore you apart. You cared about him more than you would ever like to admit. Even if you argued more than anything else Bakugou always looked after you. If someone was mean to you at school he would scare them off, if you got hurt he would patch you up even if he did make fun of you the whole time, he was always there for you no matter what.

Why had life decided to be so unfair to you?

A day passed and you hiked further into the mountains, there had been no sign of the other tribute. That made you nervous, you knew that the game maker wanted a show and if he didn’t get one the would do what they thought would make things interesting and it wouldn’t be good for you.

Passing through a dense forest you felt on edge. You knew something bad would happen but you didn’t know what exactly it would be. You felt like something was watching like you were being hunted. Glancing at Bakugou you knew he was on edge too.

A crack of thunder rang out. You knew with how suddenly it hit it wasn’t natural. Suddenly rain poured down, with how cold it was you knew it would be bad if you got soaked.

“We need to find cover,” Bakugou said looking to you.

The two of you picked up your pace into a run, searching for anything that would work. You spotted a cave opening, it was dangerous to be in a confined space but you would only be in more danger out here. The storm hit harder and harder with every passing moment. Lightning striking nearby and thunder rumbled the ground around you.

You tripped, landing on your knees. Bakugou pulled you up by the back of your jacket and back onto your feet. This time he took your hand into yours pulling you along.

Finally, you reached the cave, the shelter from the storm providing some relief. You looked at Bakugou and without saying anything you both knew this was a trap. Opening your backpack you pulled out the flashlight that was in there. Turning it on you were able to see your surroundings better.

“Let’s go in further,” Bakugou said looking around. “Be careful, we don’t know if they’re in here or if they’ll be behind us.”

The cave wasn’t spacious but the tunnel you followed went deeper in. It was eerily silent, the only sound was from the storm outside. You don’t know how long it took but eventually, it opened up to a large cavern. There was an opening in the ceiling of the cave letting in icy cold air and the rain that poured down but overall it was enough to cover from the storm.

“It’s a dead end.” You said looking around.

“So we wait.” He said.

Bakugou paced the cavern, walking around different parts of it surveying the space.

It happens quickly, you hear a noise and suddenly Bakugou is on the ground under the last tribute. A knife is at his throat as he struggles to hold it back. Fear grips you at the sudden occurrence.

For a moment you’re frozen, your body won’t move even if your head is screaming at you to help. You finally break free and rush forward, you tackle the tribute off of Bakugou and onto the ground of the cavern.

It’s messy, you struggle and fight but the tribute is far stronger than you and easily throws you off before regaining his balance and attacking.

Bakugou watches in horror as the tribute overtakes you. He moves forward, knife in hand this time. He blocks out the reality of what he has to do, driving the blade down into his back repeatedly. He pulls him off of you, throwing him to the side.

As the canon goes off he blocks out the fact that it’s just the two of you left. He knows what he has to do but he can’t bring himself to think about it yet. He wants to enjoy the last moments of peace.

“Katsuki.” You say but your voice is ragged. He’s taken aback at the use of his first name. “Don’t look.”

His stomach drops as he realizes the blood soaking through your coat isn’t the tribute's. He panics, dropping to his knees beside you tearing open your coat trying to find the wound.

“No, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” He said pressing against the wound trying to stop the bleeding.

“You’re going to win just like you wanted.” You replied.

“You idiot!” He yells. “I didn’t volunteer to win, I did it to protect you!”

He watches your face fall at the realization.

“You-”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of you going through this alone, if you died I would never forgive myself for not being there. I volunteered to make sure that you would make it out alive!”

“Why?” Your voice was breathless, eyes tearing up.

“Because I love you, idiot!” He yelled. “How stupid are you?”

“Katsuki, I-” You started, your breathes heavily as you tried to speak. “I-” You tried to speak but your eyelids fell closed, consciousness fading.

“No! I’m not gonna lose you. You can’t die, I did this to keep you safe!” He screamed. “I did this to protect you! Why did you try to help me! I was supposed to die for you!”

Tears ran down his face as he screamed out. A canon went off and it felt like he had been stabbed. He collapsed into you, sobbing into your stomach.

The games came to a close. They retrieved Bakugou but he fought tooth and nail to keep the peacekeepers away that tried to take him away from your body. The only option they were left with was to sedate him.

Once Bakugou woke up they tried to explain to him that he would have to do an interview at the capitol as well as make appearances in all of the districts. Their words fell on deaf ears as he refused to listen to anyone, trying to attack anyone who got close enough. They finally decided to send Aizawa in.

“Bakugou, you need to be reasonable.” He said. “If you don’t listen they will kill you and tell everyone that it was from your injuries in the games.”

“I have nothing to live for, the only reason I did any of this was to make sure she won and I failed and now I have to live with that.” He spits back.

“I know,” Aizawa said solemnly. “I’m sorry, I know you did everything to protect her.”

“If they want to kill me then let them.”

“Please, at least let me see if they will let you go home without any media. We can say that you got sick from something in the arena and had to be sent home.”

Bakugou didn’t reply but Aizawa took that as a yes.

Stepping into the empty house Bakugou felt numb. Aizawa had managed to get him home without any more disturbance. The capital was in an upset without the media the thrived off of after the Games. Many people were looking forward to the tearful remembrance of you. The capitol had been enthralled by the love story between you and Bakugou.

What was the point anymore? Looking out the window to the yard, it was rainy and foggy. He couldn’t bring himself to care about anything. He hadn’t even seen his parents since he got back to District Seven.

It haunted him, watching you die. Your stuttered last words cut off by your last breath. Did you love him back? It was something he would never have an answer to and he would have to live with that for the rest of his life.

alternate ending

taglist:  @sugarmaplewings-fics @lilkiwisfinest @ewwis @kandy1410 @moonlightaangel @winnies-headcannons @bakugousidehoe @paintedr0ses1 @toobsessedsstuff @spellboundxizi @ourladyofseijoh @x0doodlebug0x @katsuhoee