#im also not good at hands :skull:

[piplupod]

my brain is so nonsensical, i will see omens in the most mundane shit but then when a dead blackbird appears a little ways away from outside the house i don't even blink

[cherry-shipping]

BTW during my nightly nap i had a dream abt horrortale sans...... it was sorta all over the place cause i fell asleep watching youtube so it affected the course of my dream a lot but i think it was something along the lines of him working someplace on the surface and saw me from afar semi-regularly and was like. really weirdly fixated on me. but he was totally nuts about it too like hed follow me around with the sole intention of trying to figure out WHY he was fixated on me and what id done to make it that way. like. obviously there was something mega suspicious about me since he couldnt get me out of his head and also he thought i was the one stalking HIM because i kept showing up in places he went to. like i remember he had some special quiet place near his work where hed go to watch a nearby lake and calm down (super cute) and it was way behind some bushes and shit so it was like a secret for him. but then he went there one day and i was there napping in the grass and he was like ok what the fuck. anyway all in all it was a good dream and i think thats sort of what hed be like, even just regular sans is like that too. also my appearance in this dream was that of my self insert which was neat and also there was a part where he was watching me in secret and i was stressed out and he saw me take my eyepatch off and stab myself in the fucking eye over and over again and he was like. woah Thats just like when i pick my broken eyesocket....... and it was like a whole thing. lmfao

[nomaishuttle]

omg also im soo mad i e been listening to rhis worldbuilding podcast at work and it was giving me lots of ideas but i had to turn it off bc i took like..an hour on a room bc i was so focused on jt and my beautiful world.. and i forgot all the ideas i had 😭😭 all i can remember is my fairy thing and that isnt even a from today thoufht

[anonymusbosch]

on the dresser next to me is a landline phone.

it's a mass-manufactured piece, fairly recent, impersonal and uncharismatic. its plastic receiver smacks of CAD.

if I pick up the receiver, it feels balanced in my hand. the surface is gently textured and easy to grip with little thought. holding it to my ear, the microphone aligns with my mouth with my hand in a very natural position. it is made for the shape of a hand and a head, and though it will not fit everyone perfectly, it will fit many well.

it is not meant to be grasped around the middle like an old landline but held with the fingers, weight pressed gently into the base of the thumb. the way it sits in the receiver invites it to be held this way. all of the buttons are reachable by the thumb as it sits in the hand, tilted upright by its center of mass. there's a little bar on the 5 key, like there is on my computer's number pad, locating the keypad even in the dark.

the material of the case is a black plastic. i'm not versed enough to guess its composition by feel, but this isn't an outdoor application or one subject to harsh chemical attack, so it probably lacks some of the stabilizers that would be present for those uses. however, the label under the base proclaims it is UL listed, so there are some flammability and electrical considerations which it must meet; the charging contacts of the handset pass directly through the plastic case, so the material is probably rated for electrical contact and resistant to burning. the outer shell bears the mark of two halves closed together by a snap fit; it's rechargeable and not meant to be disassembled. the two halves are drafted opposite directions; they are tapered slightly to ease their ejection from the mold. the surface which the buttons are on obscures the marks from the ejector pins by sizing them to match the buttons - someone made the choice to shape the pins as rounded rectangles, rather than circles, to harmonize their imprint on the material.

you can press the button slightly before its press registers - and you can tell, by feel, when that press occurs. the force to press the button has been chosen with intent, and the feedback to the user is part of the design.

putting the phone back into its base, it settles easily even if casually dropped. its tapered shape and weight guide it back onto its charger. setting it down from various heights, it's hard not to get it to settle into its charging position. how carefully tuned the guides are, and how subtle!

turning it around in my hand, I can't see the place where the material entered the mold. whoever designed the mold probably placed the gate where it wouldn't be visible to the consumer. its absence is observable.

to design an object whose assembly is invisible, tolerances must be controlled closely and account must be made for the shrinkage and warping of parts as they cool from the mold. to maintain the closure along the length of the receiver, the thin-walled plastic case is probably stiffened by ribs. a designer may have argued with a molder about whether those ribs' sides really needed to be angled at 3 degrees or whether 2 degrees would suffice. probably a tool was cut from soft steel to test the shape of the components and make adjustments before more money was spent on a hard steel tool that would last for perhaps 100,000 moldings before the slight wear on it might mean the pieces no longer fit. probably there were additional moving pieces in that mold to form features on the sides that the designer and molder negotiated around until the volume button on the side could be made without a side action. probably the first parts came back not fitting together well; probably the pressure was increased in the mold or something; probably the designer adjusted some ribs to make it easier to close the halves; probably the snap features were adjusted as well; possibly many test assemblies were performed and someone found that the snaps farthest from the gate had poor weld lines and needed to be redesigned so that one out of a thousand didn't break in assembly because that was too high a failure rate; possibly they redesigned a piece to nest better amongst its many copies for more efficient shipping; probably they went through another round of tool modifications to confirm that the changes did what they wanted; probably they sampled another couple dozen pieces off the hard mold; probably many someones put it though its paces to test the antenna and verify the battery life and drop-test it and make sure the battery doesn't explode and that the pieces don't come apart in high temperatures and the thing can't catch fire if there's an electrical short and and and

probably at least a hundred people touched this phone, one way or another, so that it can be formed and assembled and tested and shipped and maintained and land here on my nightstand where I will accidentally dial it while being insufferable on a tumblr post.

the bed I built has marks of its inexpert construction plainly visible, as do the curtains I sewed. my mugs have my fingerprints embedded in the ceramic; some sit heavily and inexpertly in the hand; others balance more gently. the human touch in them is obvious.

part of mass manufacturing's goal is often to conceal the marks of making. the choices are still there.

theres this idea ive been chewing on for a couple months about the effects of machine manufacturing on the aesthetics of our living spaces. i am of course a big fan of machine manufacturing! but i think like....if you have somehting that was made by a person, by hand, they had to make a choice about every inch of that thing. the object is suffused with human choice. and when an object is machine manufacutred, that's not really true! i mean, someone designed it of course. but they probably designed it in like, cad. they designed it as a conceptual object, it's not inch-by-inch suffused with choices. im not anti AI art but i think this is my strongest anti ai art impulse, it makes it easier to make art that is not suffused with human choice, which will probably make human-choice-coated art somewhat less common, which is a bit of a bummer. obviously human choices go into AI art but they go into ai art the same way human choices go into a CAD-designed object, its on a coarser level

[jolalibrary]

Hello 👋🏼 I’ve been a fan for such a long time and I absolutely love love love the way you write Joel so I thought maybe you’d like some thots I’ve been having recently about him? It’s been super hot where I love and I can’t stop imagining Joel taking me for a swim to cool off in the summer… except it’s the apocalypse and we don’t have swimsuits 🤭 the way that man would STARE because he’s not seen a naked lady in a long time and the way he wouldn’t think twice about lying me down in the wet grass near the river and fucking me too… so yeah… hope that’s not too much 👉🏻👈🏻

firstly, thank you for the lovely compliment because me? really. eeep. but also, god anon, this SPOKE to me, because I've been thinking about my outbreak joel a lot. i blame my conversations with @thetriumphantpanda (also an amazing joel writer btw), so this spoke to me. and maybe this was supposed to be a drabble and now this is... this.

it’s different in the sun, in the day

pairing: joel miller x f!reader wordcount: 1.2k (oops, i don't know what happened) warnings: outbreak. smut. lots of talk of him thinking smutty things too. you can paddle in water. and there’s no bathing suits in the outbreak so naked dipping only.

He’d been serious when he told you that under no circumstances would the two of you be stopping. 

Even as the heat battered both of you, as you grumbled and the temperature made sweat drip and linger in places that chafed. Even as he felt himself growing more uncomfortable, angry, an ignited fury. Beads of it continued to fall from the ends of his hair, landing on his neck before descending under stiff clothing, pooling where his belt sat. 

And then it came into view. 

Crystal-like, shimmering—an oasis in the centre of death and overgrown. A heaven in a sea of green and brown hell. 

Joel hears the question before you let it slither from your tongue.

Feels it. Even before your hand wraps around his elbow, pulling and tugging attention to him that you already have. 

He’s just not good at letting you know that. At telling you. 

At first, it had been a refusal on his part; now, it’s a normalcy he’s come to like, over welcoming softness that he thinks will disrupt the careful equilibrium the two of you have. 

Before he’s even finished nodding, you’re pushing past him. Feet sliding from boots, socks peeled from skin as you expertly hang them on a dangling branch. He can only adjust his hand on the bag strap, glancing around, observing, looking for shifts and listening for branches snapping. Trying to not be more visibly annoyed than he already feels. 

Because this wastes time, this fantasy. 

They haven’t gotten as far as they have by dipping into them, into allowing themselves reprieve in the middle of nowhere. 

So he looks out, observes the area. Because it’s what he does, survive. A thing that feels second nature to him now, but hadn’t always. 

When he comes to rest his eyes on you again, you’re bare. Not a piece of fabric covering any part of you as your back is to him, the curve off your ass lit with golden sun and shadows from the trees it peers through; your back, illuminated by honey-yellow, showing the healing silver that’s permanently etched into your skin.

He can remember when it was a wound.

When it was as stubborn as you about healing. All sore, weeping—causing him nothing but anguish he had to shove down inside of him until it roared out and cracked skulls or broke jaws. 

You don’t ever pull a face when he comes back with split knuckles, the same way you don’t look over your shoulder to see if he’s staring. He suspects you know he is, would be, forever will be as long as air can find his lungs and he has the sheer audacity to remain alive. 

It’s a view watching you dip into the water, finding you turn when your waist is submerged, your lower limbs swallowed by murky blueish green, leaning back as his throat dries at your bare skin, at the curves of your breasts, at the way—even from here—he can see how hard your nipples are. Can imagine them between his teeth, can even hear the sounds you make, how breathy they are. 

Just like he knows how they feel, how weighty they are.

He’d only reminded himself a handful of nights ago, under the moonlight, hearing you mewl and whine as he slotted himself between your thighs. Pace slow, but deep, sounds of skin slapping, heavy breaths and the sleeping bag rustling all he could hear as he took you apart, as you took him apart with each of your fucking moans.

He thinks it’s different in the sun, in the day.

There’s something more beautiful about you, ethereal, making it seem hard to wrap his head around that he’s seen you survive, seen you both brutish, violent and evil, as well as heavenly, lustful and willing. 

In the night, the two of you are hidden by shadows, by night. There’s no hiding in the day, finding beauty in all its naked form swirling around in water he wishes was translucent.

His fingers flex, jaw tightening. A part of him battling to trudge into the water fully clothed, pull you to the shore and remind himself of how messy he can make you. Have the water seep directly from your skin to his as he pulls you flush, as he places your thighs on either side of his hips and hear that hiss you do when he sheathes fully inside of you.

He never kisses you, but he does hold your hand. Likes pinning it to whatever surface he finds himself pressing you against—clutching the hand that takes inside his own, feeling you grip him tightly in all the places you can before you convulse, shiver and shaking as he fucks you through it.

Joel wishes he could push the back of your hand into the soil now, coat the earth in your conjoined hands as his hips thrust into you. Leave a mark in the thing still living from both your hands and his knees.

Fuck, he wants to make your breasts bounce from the force. Not used to you this naked, this free. He’d be able to see all of you as your mouth contorts, wondering whether you can say his name or not—  

“You joining me or what?” 

He considers it when you shout. Ticks his jaw from side to side as he sees more of you vanishing under the water until it’s only your neck and head safe from the watery clutches. 

Joel does his own calculations, chews his tongue as he drops his bag from his shoulder—placing it close to yours. Resting it. Staring at the mess of your stripping before flicking his gaze to you. 

He thinks if he waits long enough, you’ll emerge out, dripping, beads of water shimmering. That you’ll come to get him. Retrieve him. Fingers sliding around his hand as you tug and plead only with your eyes, because there’s only one situation where you beg him. Where you plead. One that is usually blanketed by darkness, sometimes in abandoned houses, against mattresses with springs that dig into his knees, or under stars. 

You don’t squander that word on anything else. In the same way, he has only said please to you once. You had been sobbing—all silent and broken, moving with each prod of the needle as he aimed to keep you living, keep you with him.  

A splash of water brings him back, droplets of it up the shore as he hardens his gaze at you, seeing you standing, much closer to him, your chest glistening with water as you slide a smirk over your lips, no evidence of regret. 

“Take off your damn clothes, Joel.” 

It’s sterner than normal, more forceful. There’s no teasing edge to it, that comes from you hingeing at your waist, threatening to splash more water his way. 

It’s then he decides, as he raises a hand to begin popping his buttons undone, that as much as he’s been picturing pressing your spine into the ground, your ass cheeks into the mud, how he'd wrap your legs around his waist, he suspects that you have been imagining something entirely different.

Like him on his back. Your hand pinning his to the ground, as you sink down on him, taking every single inch of him. 

And he thinks maybe this is a fair trade, all of it.

Lifting his chin pointedly as he begins to let his skin be free from his layers, exposing his chest, his stomach, and the rest of himself. Because the look in your eyes, as he does so, is something that makes blood rush to his cock. Makes him hard as he strides, makes him want, need, desire—all the while making him realise that he’s not just wanting someone to whine for him, to moan his name or ask him to go harder. He wants you. He likes having you around. 

Under the sun, under the moon and everywhere in between. 

But, as he reaches you, as he grasps your hip and forces you flush to him, Joel decides that’s another thing he won’t admit. 

[xob1tchs]

“You belong to me” “only me” “you’re mine” “flirt with someone else, watch what’s going tk happen to you” smut with rafe

call me fucking dumb

rafe cameron x fem!reader

warnings; crying, overstimulation, dirty talk, unprotected sex

a/n; honey im hoooome 😇 sorry for the impromptu hiatus! I was moving 😵‍💫 anyways…this is the title inspo ;p and also p short…and not really edited!

your fingers tighten around his firm bicep, swollen lips parting in a strained breath, toes lifting off the ground, free hand taking purchase against the dresser top – just in time to prevent you from toppling over the edge.

“s-slow down baby! m’gonna cum again” you plead, eyes screwing shut, tears welling at your lash line, thighs tensing.

rafe hums, cock thrusting into you harsher, making your pussy squeeze, juices seeping out around the base, squelching from your wetness.

you cum for the umpteenth time, voice raspy and strained as you cry out, tears finally cascading down your red cheeks.

you twitch beneath rafe, cunt so sensitive it hurts, knocking the breath from your lungs when he doesn’t let up.

“you didn’t care when you were all over jj did you? acting like a slut, right infront of me” he complains lowly, voice smooth in your ear, unwavering.

it’s frustrating, prompting you to whine out, begging for mercy, only to be met with a scoff “you think you deserve to be treated good? deserve anything at all?” he chuckles, making you sob harder.

“i-i-i promise rafe, promise’ll be good, i am go-good” you stutter, hiccuping around your words, nails drawing blood against the firm muscle of his back.

his pace slows only slightly, enough for him to lean back and look into your eyes, hand gripping your jaw, fingers pressing into the hollows of your cheeks, steadying you.

“you’re fucking mine, my perfect little slut” he barks, sending you over the edge yet again, earning a incoherent ramble from you, mindlessly agreeing, drooling down his knuckles, eyes rolling to the back of your skull.

“pull some shit like that again, see what happens” he smirks as you slump forward into his chest, barely conscious, but still you nod, agreeing to whatever he says. like you always do.

[murdrdocs]

ares fucks you in the most sloppy way ever. like the man is nasty. first of all, yall are probably coming back from some sports bar or a pub, possibly in an alley or something. best believe he's rawdogging it. that man— no, sorry, that GOD, will stick two fingers down your throat, have you gagging, and then with no warning will shove them up your pussy, spit string still attached. he wont just fuck you til your eyes are rolling back but until your drooling all over your own tits. your both covered in sweat (do gods sweat?). you nails r clawing down his back? good. mark him up. they'll be gone by morning anyway. not that the same can be said for you, with all the bruises and hickeys hes littering your skin with. and im not just talking soots, im talking full on handprints... on your hips, your inner thighs, your neck...

also, he will def slap u in the face and grab your cheeks for eye contact. and if yall r in doggy he will have a fistful of your hair pulling ur head back while he chokes you and slams into you.

-ares anon

thats it 4 tonight, i swear celeste <3

i was gonna go to sleep but …. i don’t even know how to add onto this ???

cw impact play/slapping; choking; major degradation; MDNI 18+

i feel like he makes you wait. ares smokes, just because he can, really. so he’s standing outside of the bar with you, back leaned against the brick while he takes his precious time inhaling the tobacco and letting the smoke out into the air. you stand a little bit away from him on his direction, wearing his jacket because he got tired of hearing you whine and complain about being cold. he’s this close to slipping a few dollars (don’t ask how he got them) into your hand and telling you to go play some arcade game like you’re nothing but a nuisance. but luckily it’s then that he reaches the filter and he has the cigarette stomped under the bottom of his shoe.

and then he’s fucking your mouth with his tongue. he won’t let you get close to the smoke (he doesn’t want his fuck toy to have the horrible smokers cough mortals get), but he’ll let you taste it from him. he’s holding you close by the back of your head, palming your skull which fits perfectly within it, nestled between the callouses.

he pulls away with just enough room to tell you to spread your legs, and as soon as you do as told he shoves his fingers into your mouth, stares you down with an eyebrow quirked in challenge as he flattens his fingers out along the very back of your tongue. when you’re starting to choke around them, useless hands wrapping around his wrist for security, he’ll remove his hand and shove it right up into your cunt, mocking you for not wearing any panties like a “desperate slut”.

then he’ll fuck you nasty. he’s trained you for this. he’s made sure you could handle at least half of his potential.

his hips painfully snapping up into yours. the palms of your hands scraping against the rough and dirty brick of the outside of the bar. the straps of your dress pulled down but you’re still wearing his jacket. and every time it slips off of your shoulders he threatens you, telling you that maybe he should let someone stumble upon you two. or maybe he’ll take you out in the street and deface you there. or maybe he’ll just ignore you. if you let his jacket fall he’ll just pretend you don’t exist and leave you to your weak fingers or even weaker mortal men.

and god does he love to bruise. handprints on your ass cheeks are his favorite. he’s taken to wearing a ring on his pinkie just so he can see where it’s cut into your skin.

at one point he’ll give you a little reprieve, blessing you by turning you around and wrapping your legs around his waist. your hands will find their place under his black tee. his hand will find its place around your neck. and you’ll both leave your mark. only his will be gone by the time you wake up next to him while you’ll be forced to wear a scarf or something for a while.

and in the morning, when you’re whining about hurting and needing a break, ares will snicker in your face. he’ll tell you “okay” and grab his shit and get ready to leave, but then you’re pouting and telling him you didn’t mean it. you’re spreading your legs and throwing the sheet off of your body and letting him use you again. and if you dare look away when he’s fucking you in missionary—something he does for you, mind you, he knows how sappy and sentimental you get and how you ‘need’ to see him—then he’s slapping your cheek and digging his fingers into your skin, pursuing your lips and making you look as dumb as he thinks you are while he forces you to stare up at him.

“eyes on me. right here,” he’ll tell you, maybe going as far as to snap his fingers right above his head to gather your attention. like you’re nothing but an inattentive animal.

[a66-1]

starving.

Simon x Fem!Insecure!Reader.

Part 1 | ???

TW: Talk of ed's, negative self talk, low self esteem, bad mouthing (from reader to herself, comes with the territory) cursing, self harm. i tried not to be too descriptive with the reader, so EVERY insecure girlie who reads this feels seen. (these tw are for the whole thing, im pretty sure this is gonna be a series)

a/n: hey. if you need help, dm me. ill talk to you if you need it :). (also i made my banners. if you want one dm me! i make them for free, just with credit :)) NOT PROOF READ

i hope your doing okay honey.

Stepping out of the shower, the towel around you just big enough to touch ends is slipped around yourself. Showering is getting harder. You can barely stand glancing at the mirror now.

You dry yourself off, and hand the towel back up. You can do it, just walk past the mirror to grab your clothes.

You take the steps past the mirror, and turn your back to the mirror to change. Slipping your bra on, and it squishes the skin on your back and you grimace.

Once your dressed, you turn back around. The nagging voices are just waiting to pounce. I mean, what? You used to be so skinny.

You used to be pretty.

You decided to let your hair air dry, and you walk into your bedroom. You had work today, but you really wish you didn't. It was a bad week, you'd skipped 3 meals in the last few days and you know what your therapist would say.

'The progress you've made, hun. You can't go back now.'

The bad days are getting too close to each other now. You used to have at least a week between them, but now it's barely 48 hours. Maybe being off medicine isn't working good anymore.

Maybe you're no good.

You throw in a big hoodie, one that covers you, and some sweat pants, glancing at the big mirror in your room.

You can't stop analyzing yourself.

There's not one good thing on you is it?

Fuck.

The rest of the day was spent at your stupid 9-5, with your stupid boss, in your stupid, lonely life. Christ, being off anti-depressants is really hitting you hard. Everyone at your job is stupid and today every customer who wants to blow you ear off about how you kids these days, by the end of the day, your so tense that your shoulders are aching.

You got about 30 minutes left at this off-brand kroger store, when a big, big ass man walks in, shoving a mask with a skull print on it on. You curse to yourself, you really don't want to have to call the police for a robbery, you just want to go home.

To be honest, if he had a gun, you'd be half tempted to let him shoot you-

"Ma'am?" A heavy British accent came from your right. You turn your head, and scan his few items. You don't bother with the how are you's and you sigh.

"It'll be 16.84." You drag your eyes to his, and he reaches to his pocket, pulling out..

A wallet. What else were you thinking?

He hands you a twenty, and you hand him his respective change. He bags his own items, because honestly, you seem like the only worker in the store. Your face is written with exhaustion, whether it be from this job or something else, and the guy notices.

"Have uh... A good day." He nods to you, and walks off.

You purse your lips, and sigh, closing your cashier, because fuck finishing today. You're too close to a breakdown, and you're not trying to let anyone see.

You drive home, your hands tight around the wheel. You know it's a bad idea to be driving this emotional, to the point you wonder what would happen if you swerve your car into a tree.

You won't do it though.

You need to get back out there. It's why you stopped taking your meds.

You promise yourself that tomorrow you'll go out, and at least get a one night stand, you want need, anything.

Once home and in bed, you scroll and scroll and scroll. Doom scrolling is too common on these longer nights. You have a pillow tucked into your arm, and your hand squeezes it every time that pang in your lower chest rings out. Loneliness, you think.

You always scroll through your old friends instagrams or snapchats, seeing their nice bodies and nice boyfriends. You've been so nice and kind and karma should be on your side, but it always failed.

Especially after your last boyfriend.

Your friends say to wait.

To wait.

To wait.

But waiting is getting harder. Days are getting longer, and your head seems to spin more when left to its own devices. Why do you have to wait?

Your looks.

Your personality.

Who'd wanna be seen with you?

You flip your phone over, and shove your face in the pillow, your breathing staggered.

You fell asleep late, that night. The tears brought you to exhaustion.

woah why did this take 2 tries to write.

be waiting for pt.2

TRUST FINALS ARE SOOM COMING TO AN END and summer i will be STEWING TRUST!!!

Taglist!

@i-am-hungry-24-7

thank you for all the support. drunk simon blew up and im crying bc i came back after a 2 year hiatus and i wasn't getting the same feedback as usual so to finally seeing people enjoy my work again makes me feel great. <3

sorry simon wasn't in this part much. you gotta know the reader first tho, right?

bye babes..

-a661

[sh1-n0bu]

Congrats!!! You're my new fav scara writer, anyways. I want to fuck scaramouche so hard he's mf SCREAMING, imagine he was being very naughty and needy in public acting like a lil bitch in heat, AND WE PUNISH HIM 😈😈😈

♡︎ 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙮𝙚𝙩 ♡︎

characters: sub!scaramouche x nb!dom!reader

warnings: overstimulation, dacryphillia, degrading, praise, marking, creampie, rough sex, of course cock can be interpreted as a strap on

notes: this one was less kinkier than my other smuts but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be soft👍

also woziehrjsbbzbxjsbbs IM UR NEW FAV SCARA WRITER😭😭 NOBODY TOUCH ME IM SOFT RN

poor little scaramouche, tasting the consequences of his own action yet still trying to run away from it. his small, pristine body trembling and twitching, dark love bites and teeth mark blemishing his perfect skin - but he didn’t mind.

he was so sensitive, even a small breath of air being blown into the crook of his neck would cause him to jolt and whimper like a useless whore. your precious whore.

trying to catch his breath and to get his bearings back, scaramouche laid there on the bed, all red and cum dripping from his hole and down his shaking thighs. that wasn’t good. your sweet boy can’t go wasting the cum you filled him up to the brim with!

“[NAM-]!!” suddenly feeling you start to move again, scaramouche tried to get away. whining and writhing under you, clawing at the sheets, choking on his own moans and screams of pleasure.

“we’re not done yet baby boy. it’s not over until i’m satisfied with filling you up and until you learn your lesson” scaramouche felt like his mind was gonna blank. he came way too times already to the point his cum is now nothing but a translucent color! you even fucked him raw, he can’t take it!

pinning his hands down to the bed and continuing to ram into his sloppy hole, creating more squishy, wet and filthy noises you leaned down to bite at the small juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“[name]! n-nO NO NOT THER-!! MFFGH GYAAAFH♡︎♡︎!!” silly little slut. cumming from just a single bite like that. but it’s okay. you’re a patient lover and you will be sure to teach scara his lesson.

rutting into the soft spot in him that makes him scream, your hand reached down between scaramouche’s shaking bite covered thighs, teasing the slit of his small cock.

“you sound so good precious. again. cum for me again” you demanded. jerking him off while fucking into his sweet spot causing scara to sob loudly with his pretty blue eyes rolled to the back of his skull. mouth hanging open with drool slipping down his chin, face so flushed to the point it even reached his shoulders and globs of fat tears rushing down his cheeks.

ah he was so pretty like this. so perfectly ruined and fucked stupid.

scaramouche sobbed out. whining about who knows what, words of “good — feelssh sho good♡︎♡︎“ slurring out of his mouth. soon his legs gave out from under him but you can't have him giving up now.

ruthlessly pulling his waist back up again, you held scaramouche’s waist, sure to leave a bruise with how hard you’re gripping the flesh, continuing to thrust into him.

scaramouche soon came over the sheets with a sudden loud wail, small hands clawing at the pillows, hips twitching, thighs shaking. he was just so cute like this♡︎. surely your darling whore can go a few more rounds?

[piplupod]

i am so restless and need to make something but idk what to make

[bluemantics]

here’s a list of all my fics! i won’t be able to post and reblog much since I’m traveling the next week and a half, so I’ll compile all my works here in the meantime :-)

will also update this list as i write more!

klance:

midnight snacks don't exist in space

G | 1.7K | RP/BP dynamics

There are no rules about eating at 3:00 AM if you're in the far reaches of the universe.

In a bright kitchen while the team is asleep, Lance and Keith find each other, as they always do.

Why We Fight

T | 5.7K | truth-telling au

With the Rebels in need of resources, the team ventures to a planet known for its raw materials in hope that they'll join the coalition. Here's the thing: they need to prove that they can be trusted by telling the truth about why they fight.

Lance finds this more difficult to voice than the others. Unfortunately (thankfully), Keith has returned from the Blade and is more than willing to listen.

"This is bigger than any of us alone."

A Keith By Any Other Name

T | 8.2K | coffee shop rom-com AU

Lance McClain was dared to hit on Keith. Keith thought that’d be the first and last time they’d meet. However, Lance keeps coming back, charming Keith with his jokes and charisma.

Here’s the catch: Keith refuses to tell Lance his real name.

“I’m not telling you my name unless you order and move on.” Keith pointed to the register screen.

“Alright, I’ll do a cappuccino.” Lance pulled out his wallet from his jacket pocket and slid his card over to Keith. “Now will you tell me your name?”

“My name is Yorak.” Keith passed the card back to Lance, who looked shocked at that answer, his eyebrows raised to his hairline. Keith was beginning to realize how dramatic Lance could be.

“Really?!” Lance demanded. He looked pityingly at Keith, and irritation welled up in his gut.

“No!” Keith rolled his eyes.

“You’re the worst,” Lance huffed.

a billion light years from here

T | 8.5K | post-canon fix-it

Keith and Lance reconnect over letters. Through their writing, Keith learns to open up, and Lance learns what a home is.

"For all the game I talked on the castleship about missing home, now that I’m back on my family farm, I kind of feel like there’s something missing. Like, even surrounded by all of the juniberry flowers Allura gave us, and even with my parents, I still feel lonely. Or restless."

Or: A post s-8 fix-it AU told entirely through letters between Lance and Keith, both sent and unsent.

out of my head

G | 1.2K | high school au

Keith didn’t even want to watch the spring musical auditions. Forced by Pidge to accompany them, he finds himself surprised at the talent of a particular actor. He also finds himself surprised by his own response. 

OR:

Lance is ridiculously good at singing and Keith is a lovable, impulsive jock.

baptism by fire

T | 1.5K | canon-compliant angst

Prompt: write a private scene between two characters with no dialogue, of just them two alone.

Lance just witnessed the unthinkable. Keith offers his company in wake of the tragedy.

kiribaku:

unstoppably, immovably, unbreakably you

G | 651 | canon-compliant

A character study.

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Katsuki Bakugou’s hand implodes against Eijirou Kirishima’s arm; a flurry of sparks surround them with a sound that rings between his skull.

This is something he knows how to do well. With every blow that Katsuki unleashes, he feels Kirishima retaliate with more, responding like a dance to his every movement. Katsuki is a fine-tuned instrument of destruction, every muscle on his body worked with the intention of winning.

as always please let me know what u think thru asks & comments on ao3!! ill answer asks between travel, but im going to frequently be in spotty service.

[ervotica]

cato comforting u while your crying and then cradling you his big ass arms (i am a SLUT for men with big biceps)

warnings; r is sad, cato is peak boyfriend, ARMS (they're a warning)

a/n; on my mf KNEES for this man, vikings is on my watch list next bc he's just too fine jfc. sorry this got buried in my inbox lovely! i hope you enjoy though <3 (also this gif??? im fucking sweating)

"Who've I gotta kill?"

You stifle a gasp with the back of your hand, glossy eyes snapping up to meet the furious stare of your boyfriend. The colour bleeds from his knuckles, flexing at his sides as he watches the way you hiccup and coil in on yourself to try and conceal the steady flow of tears making their way down your cheeks. Grass tickles at your bare legs where you shuffle on your bum to face him.

"'s nothing, Cato. I'm okay." You nod vehemently, as if trying to convince yourself; he crouches, sitting back on his heels to cradle the side of your neck with thick digits. Your pulse thrums under his touch.

"Baby," he murmurs; it's soft the way he speaks to you, a jarring juxtaposition to the sharp bite of his usual tone. "What's goin' on?"

"I don't wanna talk 'bout it right now," you sniff, and Cato catches the tears that spring to the surface again, tickling at the swollen rims of your eyes. Your head ducks and the palm of his hand applies a firm pressure to the crown of your skull as he manoeuvres, and thick thighs come to rest either side of your own, chest crowding against your back.

You tip back to lean against the warm expanse of his chest and his arms come up to cage you in; heavily muscled biceps brace around your protruding collarbones when he smears a kiss across the ridge of your temple.

Tucking your head in the crook of his elbow, your own arms come up to twine around his upper arm, head rolling until you're gazing up at him through sticky, wet lashes. The crease in his brow dissipates, and dimples crater at the centre of his cheeks under your affectionate observance.

"Whatcha lookin' at, short stuff?" he teases, thumb squishing the pudgy flesh of your bottom lip.

"Just you," you purr, voice waning through the thick lump in your throat. Cato traces the column, pressing into the dimple beneath your chin to rub a tight circle there. "Just love you. I don't deserve you."

"Who told you that? 's that what the tears are about, huh?" Lips drag downward over your jaw while he waits for an answer, wet half moons glistening in the wake of his fervent touch.

"Just what people say about me. When I was out earlier..." You falter, concealing your face in the groove of his armpit. "Some of the other girls were laughing. At me." You hiccup into the soft cotton of his t-shirt, neck bending awkwardly when he tucks you in tighter, arms a vice around your top half. "They say you're too good for me. That they don't know why you're wastin' your time."

"You think it's true?" he asks.

"I-I don't know. I think you could do better than me."

His chin digs into the juncture of your neck when you lift your head, heavy eyelashes kissing at the corners and trailing dampness across Cato's cheek.

"I love you. Don't want anyone else, my girl."

You surge forward, twisting the top half of your body to wrap around him like a vine; he stays steadfast, rigid as you clamber up and into his lap on tired limbs. Your fingers settle at the nape of his neck, tangled in short, blond hair.

His hands squeeze at the fat of your hips, drawing you closer still, lips pressed to the shell of your ear.

"You're mine, okay? My girl forever."

[neuvistar]

Ass, tits or thighs for loucha and welt

You can choose other hsr men

Fluff of nsfw you pick

ASS, TITS OR THIGHS?

— featuring ┊ luocha, welt, jing yuan, blade, gepard x fem!reader (all separate)

— warnings / content warnings ┊ a lil short i think?? uh not proofread, tiny bit of titplay, mentions of thigh fucking??, slight body worship me thinks, mentions of face sitting, use of nicknames, nothing extreme just suggestive of implied suggestive themes! || 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

— a/n ┊good question, let’s decide this once n for all ! hope u enjoyed this i had fun sm fun writing it tbh ++ i loved writing jing yuan’s part its so cute 2 me

LUOCHA lowkey seems like a thigh man, blud doesn’t care how big or how small he just wants you to crush him with your thighs. i mean come on i’m sure he probably likes the feeling of his hands trailing down your hips then to your thighs, giving them a nice squeeze while he’s at it. he seems like he’d enjoy times where you would thigh highs, thanking the aeons above for this lovely gift and beautiful sight. ++ when you do wear it jesus fuck his hands r always on your thighs, gently sliding two fingers in your black thigh highs you wore that day, pretty eyes gazing at yours to see your reaction.

maybe if he’s feeling a lil silly he’d slide his fingers inside you too, bonus points for that skull emoji idk man this goof just seems and LOOKS like a thigh man, i’m sure he’s a big fan of face sitting too since he’d love how your thighs cage around his head, holding them firmly as he eats you out like there’s no tomorrow. he just wants to get crushed by your thighs, i’m sure he’s someone that stays true to his word as well, “death by thighs is the way of a warrior” is what he believes. luocha just wants to savour the feeling of your thighs around his head, oh yeah his favourite place to kiss you is probably your thighs, surprise surprise!! that man has a huge thing for your thighs you don’t even know why, always complimenting you how beautiful they look too, you don’t mind though. but anyways, he loves kissing your thighs, such a sweetheart isn’t he?

WELT is expiring bruh one thrust n that fucker is already fading into thin air but itz ok cuz i like em expired (NAHH IM SO SORRY) but anyways he’s an ass man, i’m sure of it. that brunette loves ass more than you think, he’s a sucker for that fatty i know it, look me in the eyes n tell me he isn’t an ass man cuz he is n no one’s gonna convince me he’s not i don’t wanna hear it /j but back to business yeah he seems like an ass man, i think bro’s vv cool with it too like if you asked him “ass tits or thighs” he would give you a full description on why he prefers ass out of everyone of them, whenever you two make love i like to think that he prefers it if you take it from the back. why? well lemme tell you

he likes it whenever you take it from the back cuz he gets full view of your back and most importantly your ass, the way his hips snap against yours, hypnotized by the way your ass looks, giving it a lil squeeze too. oh yeah he’s probably the type to give ur ass little taps, like gentle ones but it isn’t perverted in anyway it’s just to get you moving, and maybe to also get a reaction out of you but yes no more explanation this manz is crazy for ass he would get hard at the sight of you in some tight clothing that makes your ass look nice wink wink. this goof probably snuck a lil glance at your ass when you were bending over one time, grabbing a pencil. let’s jus say, he got hard! cmon he just loves ass, he loves it sm bros probably fascinated over the jiggle physics of your ass or sumn cause gahhh dahum

JING YUAN i think he’d be vv sweet about these sort of things, he wouldn’t rlly separate things into things he liked or didn’t like, he loved everything about you. jing yuan would find you perfect in his eyes, he found you rather beautiful in every aspect, an alluring attraction he could not simply look away from, but he cared not for your body, for your beauty was the least of your features n it was everything else about you that he found the most attractive. beyond compare and without fault. but in all truthfulness, he loves titties stfu i’m not gonna argue with anyone else he’s a tit man and that’s final, it’s true it’s confirmed by me he’s apart of the tittie lover committee. but honestly, like i said he’d find every aspect of you beautiful (he’s a tit man trust he’s just in denial)

he would be so so sweet :( if u ever asked him what he liked abt u (ass tits n thighs yk) he would simply let out a deep sigh and kiss your forehead,

“why do you care so deeply about my opinion on your body?" jing yuan asked softly with a soft shake of his head. "does my opinion mean that much to you? i think you are a rather beautiful woman. that’s all, nothing more, nothing less. i do not look at you like a prize or a toy, my dove, for you mean more to me than your appearance. but since you are so concerned, i will say it. you are extremely beautiful in my eyes, i love everything about you. every part of your body, your facial features, your personality, everything. there’s nothing i can pin point, because i love everything about you, beautiful.” (he still loves ur tits though)

BLADE is indecisive with this sort of thing me thinks.. he’d choose all three but if you ask him why he did, honestly he’d pull up some shit like “because i desire them all and i get what i desire” or sum shit like that, he’s just a lil indecisive guys. but jokes aside, he would prefer your tits. he’s probably a tit man in my eyes! there’s just something about your titties that makes him stop and think about the decisions he made in life. the first time you guys got busy (if you know what i mean) blud would get all red for the first time asking if he could touch your breasts, and that special day.. he fell in love with the feeling of his hands engulfing your tits, the softness of your flesh was intoxicating to him almost.

he probably doesn’t care about size either, he just loves how his large hands engulf your tits as a whole, he loves the little whimpers you let out when he plays with your hardened nipples, twisting it gently as he feels your body jolt against his, pressing himself even closer against you. blade loves you and your body, he just can’t get enough of you because you’re so beautiful to him, he’s one lucky man to have someone like you. he’s probably into titfucking too, the thought of it makes me curl my toes tbh. he probably slides his dick in between the softness of your breasts, a moaning mess as he threw his head back, enjoying the feeling of your boobs around his cock. bonus points if he came on your tits afterwards, he fell more and more in love with you and your titties. he would probably cum on your tits like 99% of the time whenever you guys would have sex, you would scold him sometimes but cmon he can’t help it. he loves how pretty your tits look covered with his cum.

GEPARD last but not least the babygirl ever, most the babygirl of the babygirls, he would probably prefer ass ++ thighs over anything else. he tries to push these kind of thoughts away but he knows he can’t escape them when you’re right there all dolled up and pretty for him. gepard would blush seeing you in a short skirt, bonus points if you wore thigh highs or black tights along with it. i like to think tgat he would feel ashamed of himself for thinking such things about you, taking a quick glance of your thighs whenever you both use the stairs, seeing how your skirt would move a bit. jesus he didn’t even know you had allat back there, but you did. bless your parents. but honestly i don’t think he’d care about the size either, he just loves how soft they feel against his palm, huge fan of you taking it from the back too.

gepard is probably into thigh fucking too, grabbing your thighs and ripping your black tights, positioning himself in between them as he slides himself between the heat of your inner thighs, his dick also rubbing against your pussy too more bonus points for that. he would savour and take in the feeling of your thighs against his cock, loving how warm you felt around him. he’s such a huge sucker for that fattie n huge sucker for them neck crushers, if you sat on his face and broke his neck he would probably blame himself for being too weak to handle you like he should, speaking of that he loves it whenever you sat on his face, like i said no matter the side he’s diving into that pussy like it’s the pacific ocean, he doesn’t give two fucks if you’re too heavy your pussy is the ocean he’s gonna dive in 2nite (he’s practically asking u to break his neck atp skull emoji)

[dxckgrxsonx]

We all know jason loves eating pussy, and this mf knows he's good at too, he gets hard and off off it. but imagine him coming home from patrol and him being needy asf and being bratty and once he gets his mouth on you he's whimpering and grindning his hips into the bed and your pulling his hair and it makes him moan and grind into the bed even more, and when he's finally done getting you off he stands up and you see the wet spot on his boxers and he's still hard and he's shy and soft about it

Also bby I love your version of jason and dick, like holy fuck the shit you write is AMAZING like I love you so much..

its after 2am. i have to be up for work at 7. i give zero fucks rn. i need to write this. if i fall asleep at work later, im blaming you.

**

"Fucking hell, Jay. What's gotten into you?"

He paws at you, strong hands trying to tug at the elastic of your pyjama shorts. His mouth is pitched up in a smirk. He wants something, you know he does. The elastic snaps back against your skin when Jason fumbles his grip and you hiss through your teeth at the sting.

You're grabbing at his shoulders, trying to find some fleeting sense of stability amongst his chaos. In the back of your head, you note that he's back from patrol a little early.

"Slow night, huh?" You try, unable to do anything but shuffle back in half steps when Jason herds you to the bedroom. "Must be if you're this needy."

His focus shoots to you, a pout suddenly settling on his face, "Wanna eat you out. Missed the taste of you."

Your eyebrow cocks up, eyes searching for a clock, "You are aware it's the middle of the night, right? We should be sleeping."

"But baby." Jason whines, settling on his front when you tip backwards onto the bed. "I want to lick your pussy. Please let me taste you, I know you're wet."

Combing your fingers through his hair when he leans forwards to press a handful of kisses across your stomach, you tug lightly at the base of his skull and pull his head back so you can look at him.

"Always about you, huh? I want this. I want that. What about me?"

Jason whimpers, "C'mon, sweetheart--please. Y'know I'm good at it. I'll have you coming in no time. Then when I'm done, we can go to bed."

Dragging his fingers just under the waistband of your shorts you feel your body flush with goosebumps. His touch burns a path straight through to your gut, it feels like wildfire, feels like nuclear fission. He kickstarts the heat inside you and you feel yourself start to get damp.

"Pleaseee. Lemme lick your pretty pussy. Wanna make you feel good."

Cupping his cheek with one hand you sigh, "Okay, baby. If you want it so bad."

Pulling your shorts down your thighs Jason grins, impossibly pleased with himself, maybe a little smug. It's an infuriatingly good look on him and it's hard not to react in the way he wants you to. Stupid smug horny bastard.

Guiding your thighs over his broad shoulders, Jason swipes his soft, wet tongue through your slit. At soon as your taste blooms across his tongue he moans, eyelids fluttering closed in bliss. He licks you from your soaking entrance, all the way up to your puffy clit.

Grabbing at your waist, Jason sucks your clit between his lips and drags the flat of his tongue over it. Bucking your hips up you choke out a quiet gasp of his name and fist at his hair.

Almost immediately, Jason moans into your cunt, hips grinding into the bed. Yanking at the strands harder, you guide his head where you want it to be and the noise he makes has your clit twitching desperately in his mouth.

Suckling at the throbbing bundle of nerves your thighs quake over his shoulders. Even though he gets his mouth on your pussy as often as he can, Jason never fails to have you seeing space and time and everything in between.

He's good. Really fucking good.

"S'good, Jay." You gasp, head tipping back. "So good for me, baby."

You feel him whine against your clit and you kick your hips up, grind yourself into his greedy mouth. Jason takes it easily, reflectively adjusts to every single movement you make until you hold his head in place using his hair.

"Uh--fuck." He moans into your cunt when he realises what you're going to do. "Use me, baby. Grind that pretty pussy all over my face."

Rocking your hips, you hold Jason in place and grind against his talented mouth. For a brief second, you think he's going to come with the sound he makes and the way he grinds his cock into the sheets. Instead, he drags his tongue all over your clit and you make a high, keening noise in the back of your throat.

"M'close." You manage to get out, breathless and trembling.

Doubling his efforts, Jason licks and sucks at your clit like an expert, like he knows exactly what to do to get you coming undone. Sliding two fingers into your clenching hole he twists his wrist and drags them over your sweet spot.

Gushing all over his hand you jerk and yank at his hair. Jason cries out and shudders from head to toe. Pumping his fingers into you, you feel heat drag up your neck when you hear the way your pussy squelches around the digits.

Arching your back when he sucks at your clit and hits your sweet spot at the same time you come undone, crying out his name and thrusting against his face. You feel your clit pulse and twitch in his mouth as he keeps lavishing it with attention, pussy squeezing rhythmically around his fingers.

Pulling back once you're spent, you release the tight hold you have on his hair. Jason rocks back onto his knees and you notice straight away the damp spot staining the front of his underwear.

A flush spreads up his throat, redness touching at his cheeks. Your heartbeat kicks up a notch at the sight of him, soft and embarrassed. Ducking his head he tries to hide from the look on your face but you see the way his cock twitches and strains against the sticky fabric.

He wants to come again.

"Oh my sweet boy. Did you get a little too excited eating me out?" You coo, reaching out to him. "C'mere, s'my turn to take care of you."

**

[lovieku]

GOOD LUCK, BABE! #1 ⋆ 정국

what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?

☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc

☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

☾ word count: 10.4k +

☾ warnings: female oc named eunbi. explicit language. alcohol consumption. lots of flashbacks. mentions of menstrual cycle. misogyny (not jk). jk is one year older than eunbi. jk is a biker!! he doesn’t have tats and piercings though, that will come later. they’re currently in uni. jk is a film production student. eunbi is a literature student. awful abuse of italics. check masterlist for more!

☾ author’s note: hello!!! this is my first time doing this so please bear with me! english is not my first language so there might be some mistakes, if so please let me know. just in general, feedback is very appreciated :) as i mentioned, i never posted on tumblr before nor wrote an au in english so im kiiinda nervous about this… but i swear ill try to bring my idea to life in the best way possible and i wont make you regret reading this hehe… Also!!! each chapter is named after a song that reminds me of them <3 i hope you come to love eunbi and jeongguk as much as i do, maybe with time… thank you !

indexㅣnext

one ⋆ come back to me

Sitting across the table, he stares at her. The light of the twenty birthday candles reflecting in her eyes, the people surrounding her, his own friends. As she’s blowing out the candles, he wonders what she wished for. Does she ever wish to go back in time? Does she think of him, of what once was? Does she regret what happened? Jeongguk scoffs at his own thoughts, looking away from what’s in front of him. It makes his blood boil. How could she just forget?

“Did you even wish Eunbi a happy birthday?” It’s Dahye blocking his line of vision now. He looks up from where he’s sitting, pout on his face and eyebrows slightly furrowed, “Why would I? Would she ever do the same for me?” She would. Jeongguk knows he’s being petty, but he can’t help it.

His friend rolls her eyes, unspokenly conveying just how tired she is of this constant snubbing between Jeongguk and the birthday girl, “So you came to her party to do what? Sit here and burn holes into her skull? Fucking grow up Jeongguk, you’re being childish.” She forces him to get up, but as he does he’s not sure he can handle this whole situation for much longer.

Everyone is hugging her, but it all feels so fake. Her smiles and squeals directed to everyone else but him. He doesn’t even know why he’s still here, doesn’t wanna be part of this farce. He feels out of place with his own people. Why did she have to ruin this one thing he had created? Why did she have to be so likeable to everyone? He can keep lying to himself, arguing that there’s no actual reason, but he knows first hand that it doesn’t take much to become fond of her. She could be spotted in a million people. She’s effortlessly glowing, radiating the light of a thousand stars, and the light burns everything. It burns his eyes, his skin, his heart.

Jeongguk has to look down at his hands as he squeezes them into fists, trying to make sense of what’s happening. He’s letting anger take over, but he knows deep down what he truly feels is sadness. Helplessness, even. He looks up just to find her staring back at him, and is he reading hope in her eyes?

He needs to get out. Being in her presence isn’t healthy for him, especially on what’s supposed to be her day, her night. He can keep being resentful, but he knows he doesn’t want to ruin that for her. Walking away from the table, he reaches the backdoor of the pub and searches for a cigarette in his jacket. Stress is clouding his mind and he just needs to relax. Breathe.

In his pocket, he doesn’t only find the pack of cigarettes he’s now desperately trying to open, but also a reminder of how delusional he truly is. Jeongguk stupidly thought he could maybe muster the courage to go up to her and give her a little gift, just a sign of politeness, he thought to himself as he fished it out of a forgotten memory box. He knows ever since they saw each other again they’ve been acting petty. Purposefully ignoring each other as if nothing ever was. He thought he could at least put an end to this. Hand her a bracelet he still keeps from their childhood as a request for a truce.

Jeongguk shakes his head and scoffs. He feels crazy. Insane, even. Is he really the only one thinking so much about how weird this whole new dynamic between them is? He knows they haven’t seen each other in years, of course things have changed, but why is she acting as if he is at fault? As if he’s the one who should apologise? He fumbles with the cigarette and struggles to keep it still in his mouth. Just then, he realises he doesn’t have a lighter on him.

”Fucking hell,” he looks up, maybe searching for help, talking to something greater than him. “Why do you hate me, God?”

”Bad day?” Jeongguk startles. He knows that voice. Turning around, he guessed exactly who it belonged to. She takes out a lighter and puts it between them, waiting for him to take it. Such a small gesture seems to mean infinitely more.

”Uh, thanks.” Jeongguk is aware of how pathetic he sounds right now, voice small and low. “Um, happy birthday. I guess.” I guess? What the fuck?

Eunbi chuckles, amused by the way he’s acting. He swears that makes him even angrier, he feels like fucking screaming. “Thanks. We’re eating cake. Come back there when you’re done?” She stands there a few more seconds, just staring at him. She expects Jeongguk to say something, anything. Even give her a smile, a nod of his head. None of that happens.

With her hair styled in a half ponytail, perfectly tied at the back with a white bow, she nods to herself and walks away, leaving the lighter in Jeongguk’s hand. He’s left speechless. That’s their first proper interaction after years. That’s all they could say to each other. He feels the hole in his chest, that he had managed to almost fully close, reopen at such a rapid speed, and he feels the urge to get out of that place immediately. Like hell he’s going back there.

Cigarette long forgotten, Jeongguk throws it somewhere in his jacket’s big pockets along with the lighter, and tries to make himself unnoticed while he frantically searches for the exit. Why the fuck are there so many people out drinking on a Monday night?

He feels bad for leaving his friends without any warning but he’s afraid one more second here could cause permanent damage to his brain. There's no point in staying any longer whatsoever.

“What a fucking waste of time.” Muttering to himself, he pushes the door open and walks ahead, keeping his head low while fishing for his bike keys in his jeans.

“Jeongguk?” Of fucking course, he thinks as his eyes close for a second, searching for the little patience he had left. Eunbi’s voice fills the much quieter parking lot outside the pub, the sound echoing and making him stop in his tracks, helmet already in his hands as he turns around.

“You're leaving?” If he didn't know her (and he would argue he actually doesn't anymore) Jeongguk would think there's a cloud of sadness in her voice. He slightly shakes his head and looks behind his shoulders. Scratches his head. Anything to escape what is happening.

“Yeah, it's quite late. I have a 9 a.m. tomorrow. Don't wanna miss it.” He's lying. He doesn't have lectures on Tuesdays, and even if he did, he's no stranger to skipping classes. He doesn’t care if the girl knows all about his ways. Hell, being in the same uni friend group doesn’t actually allow to really avoid seeing each other every fucking day of the week.

“Right,” she nods, kicking the pebbles under her feet. He notices she chose to wear Converses even under the flowy white mini dress she has on, and they still look like she never cleans them. Then she hesitates, “Wait a second? I’ll bring you a piece of cake to take home. It's your favourite, double chocolate.”

Jeongguk doesn’t reply. Doesn’t even give her a nod of his head. The birthday girl looks like she’s waiting for it though, some sign of reassurance. She’s left with none of that again, and figures she should be as quick as possible to avoid Jeongguk leaving without knowing she truly appreciated him being here.

He scoffs at the sight he catches a glimpse of through the pub’s window, the girl frantically recovering a piece of the dessert she claims she knows it’s still his favourite — it is. At that, he almost thinks of waiting for her. Almost. He doesn't, his petty nature taking over. He hops on the bike, helmet on, revving the engine to finally get the fuck out of there. No waiting, no warning. After all, it's not like she'd ever warned him before disappearing.

Jeongguk feels absent for most of the ride back to his cramped rented flat. Dissociated. Mind full of thoughts (and maybe regret) but body so relaxed and at ease because of the gentle summer breeze brushing his skin. It’s nights like these that take him way back, places in his brain that he’s sick of visiting. Jeongguk actually doesn’t remember a lot, doesn’t keep on too many memories of his past. Instead, he thinks he’s probably cursed with having every moment with her carved in his head, from the first time he saw her to the last.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“Mom, I'm going outside!” A ten years old Jeongguk rushed down the stairs, hands full and voice shaking with excitement. Once again, he gathered as many toys as he could and his trusted camera to go play outside the porch.

Laying on the sofa, his mom was concerned Jeongguk would fall with how eager he was in his movements, “Alright baby, stay off the road though!” The apprehension was short lived, the woman letting a sigh out of her mouth, knowing taming little Jeongguk was mission impossible.

Nonetheless, Mrs. Jeon had always believed her son to be very intelligent for his age, both academically and emotionally. He had already developed a great sense of responsibility and empathy, especially towards his peers, so she never once doubted his actions.

On the other hand, Jeongguk felt a sense of loneliness. Being an only child during summer meant many things, one of them being the fact that he was bound to be alone most of the time since schools were closed. And so he would do what he liked the most. He would go out and film.

Usually, the subjects were his own mother, or father. But sometimes he enjoyed making scenarios on his own, pretending to be a great director and moving his actors — his toys — however he wanted, “One, two, three… action! We're rolling!”

His passion for photography and movies had grown increasingly over the past year, also due to him finding his new favourite thing ever in an old box of his dad, a Samsung SCD71.

As Barbie was about to finally kiss Ken under an imaginary stormy downpour, which Jeongguk was trying to make as believable as possible, a sudden noise had completely obscured the microphone of the camera, probably making the recording unusable. “What’s going on…” Jeongguk directed the camcorder towards the origin of the annoying sound, and through the lenses he caught sight of a moving truck that had just parked on the road. More specifically, it stopped in front of the house next to his, which he had learnt to be empty. Up to that day, apparently.

Curiosity had always been one of the most striking and dominant aspects of Jeongguk's personality, which he probably got from his dad. Camera hanging around his neck, he got up, hopped the fence and got closer to the truck, still careful not to get on the road, just as his mommy had advised him.

Jeongguk came closer, spotting a girl about his age carrying a box double her size. Her voice could be heard, even if suppressed by the weight of those items, “Mom, why do I need to carry these things, they're so heavy!” The girl whined fruitlessly, her mom going on about how she was just being dramatic, “Eunbi, just leave it on the porch and your dad will take care of it.”

To Jeongguk, it didn’t look like the kid was being dramatic. Those boxes seemed hard to even pick up. He bit his lip deep in thought, so much he didn’t even realise his feet moving on their own and getting even closer to the scene. Before he knew it, he asked, “Do you need help with that?” He felt the urge to lend a hand, just because that was in his nature.

The little girl was startled, almost losing balance at hearing a stranger’s voice directed at her. She couldn’t see who it was because of the box limiting her view, but she figured it didn’t belong to someone much older than her. When she put the carton down, she got confirmation that she guessed right. Still, her first instinct was defensive, “Huh? Who are you? And no, I don't need any help, thank you.”

It was Jeongguk’s turn to be startled. Initially left speechless, he tilted his head at being rejected when he was just trying to be nice. No problem, he’ll try again, “Oh, okay but… you were just saying the box is heavy?”

The snappy girl furrowed her brows, seemingly much mature for the age she was showing, “Yes, but that doesn't imply that I can't carry it.” Arms crossed, she looked proud of the reply she came up with, but really was just waiting for her dad to do something about the weighty box.

Tilting his head to the other side, Jeongguk reminded the girl of her little black poodle she had to leave back in her old town with her grandma. Big brown eyes and long hair, the boy pouted in thought, “Im- imply? What's that?” What can he say, he had always preferred scientific subjects.

“Whatever.” Eunbi — was that her name? — looked around in hopes to find her parents, who were inside, busy unboxing the most important items to get the long process of moving out started. When she stared back at the boy, she sighed, “I guess you can help me.”

Jeongguk chuckled contentedly, suddenly very pleased with carrying heavy things for a girl he didn’t even know. “What’s your name?” He tried to make conversation while they both went back and forth with the cartons, a silent competition between them on who was faster.

”I’m Song Eunbi… you?” Both too tired to keep carrying other stuff, they sat down on the stairs of the door to her new house, which she didn’t seem that excited about.

“Oh, I'm Jeon Jeongguk, I live next door. I came here because of the noise, heh.” He smiled a big one, showing his teeth and almost fully closing his eyes. That caused the younger one to smile too, starting to let her guard down. With the boxes out of the question, she noticed a big object hanging around his neck, “Woah… what’s that?”

She reached to touch the Samsung camcorder but he was quicker, grabbing it and tugging it to his chest in a protective manner. The pigtails girl retracted her hand, a slow pout coming on her face but not fully developing, because before that could happen Jeongguk had recovered with a jolt of his head, “Sorry, don’t like people touching it. It’s a camera. I use it to record and stuff. You wanna see?”

Eunbi didn’t reply, wary of the device in Jeongguk’s hand, and she just watched him maneuver it as if it was his job. When he gasped, she returned the attention to his face, “It was still recording. Forgot to turn it off…” He seemed more as if he was muttering to himself, but then he also shifted his gaze towards her.

Lifting the lenses up to his face, Jeongguk pointed the camera towards his — hopefully — new friend, “Do you wanna say hi?” He zoomed in and out, focusing on the background then on her. “Huh… hi.” She smiled sweetly and the boy remained on that view for more seconds than necessary, before ending the recording.

The initially grumpy girl seemed to share that same curiosity that characterised Jeongguk so well, because she eagerly started asking the older kid questions about the camera, and he easily complied.

They spent the next two hours watching Jeongguk’s self-directed short movies, in which Barbie was always somewhat saved by Ken; and then Eunbi was so inspired by that, she tore open her toy box and instructed Jeongguk just how to direct the sequel of one specific film he had showed her.

His mom was scared, to say the least. Opening the front door to call Jeongguk for dinner and not instantly seeing him. Panic, panic, panic. None of that was occurring in Jeongguk’s head, though. He was so excited to have new toys that he could use to fulfil his director dream, and Eunbi seemed happy too. Together, they created the most original stories that the only child could surely have never come up with on his own.

When Jeongguk thought he heard his mom’s voice, for the first time throughout those endless hours he lifted his head up from the camera. “Baby! Oh, thank God, I was so scared.” His mom came rushing towards him, holding his head to her chest.

Toys dropped to the ground, Jeongguk looked at his mother and the clear height difference made him also aware of how dark the sky had turned compared to when he first walked out his door.

“We were just about to come around!” At that exact moment, Eunbi’s parents walked down the stairs of their porch to greet Mrs. Jeon, “Our pleasure, you must be Jeongguk’s mom?”

The mentioned lady only nodded her head, anxiety still struggling to leave her body after thinking she just lost her only son. “I am… Um, I’m sorry about him,”

”No, don’t even!” Eunbi’s mom interrupted, “He’s been nothing but a sweetheart. We would love to have him, you and your husband over for dinner this week. We just moved in and it’d be nice to make friends.” She admitted, slightly embarrassed that her flow of thoughts made her say that out loud.

While the adults were sharing adults-stuff talk, Jeongguk managed to escape his mom’s embrace and go back to his new friend. He pointed the camera to himself, “I’m sorry, my dear public, but the movie has been interrupted.” Jeongguk announced with the saddest voice, looking over at Eunbi who nodded just as dramatically.

Now with the lenses on her, she sighed, “Yes, sadly. Will Barbie save Ken from the zombie apocalypse?” She sounded genuinely upset they didn’t get to find out, “I guess we’ll never know.”

They did find out. Made another four sequels that summer. Jeongguk will forever hold that to his heart as the best he’s ever had, the first time in his 10 years of life he spent the scorching season with a friend by his side, making the heat and the boredom bearable.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“Are you even listening to me?” Jimin looks at Jeongguk, annoyance clear on his features when he notices the younger one isn’t paying attention to his rant about cafeteria prices being ridiculously high. They had decided to try and get some assignments done in a coffee shop that had just recently opened, but actually ended up talking about anything but university. Jimin waves a hand in front of the brown haired boy’s face, “Earth to Jeongguk?”

The mentioned boy shakes his head, lifting it from the palm on which he was resting his cheek, “Huh? Sorry, what was that?” Jeongguk hadn't meant to space out, but lately it seems like it's been easier to get lost in his thoughts. Jimin's eyes soften visibly as he sighs.

“It was nothing important,” now that the blonde guy has his friend’s attention again, he thinks of shooting the question he’s been careful about asking. “I was actually wondering if you wanted to come out tomorrow evening. The whole group is going.” Hope fills Jimin's voice and he forces his biggest smile, knowing convincing Jeongguk to go out these past weeks had been close to impossible.

Jeongguk studies his best friend’s face, squinting his eyes suspiciously, “Is she gonna be there?” Such a simple question completely shutters the already minuscule hope Jimin had left.

Still, the blonde head tries to act unbothered, “I did just say that the whole group is going too.” He searches for the younger’s eyes but it looks like he’s already set on a firm answer.

“Then no.” Jeongguk replies, his eyes low on the table, picking up every uninteresting detail he can catch. He knows there’s no actual reason for him to reject Jimin’s invitation. He also knows it’s been a while since he started being this difficult over simple matters he wouldn’t have stressed about months ago. What he doesn’t know is since when he started feeling like he doesn't belong among his own friends. Or better, he does, yet he doesn't want to acknowledge it.

The older of the pair sighs, fixing his hair and trying to find a solution to his friend’s sudden change in demeanour, “You know, you really should talk to her. Sort this thing out between you two.” His voice is careful, almost too delicate. Jimin had always been a big advocate in the truce between the two, if there had even been a war to begin with, yet never managed to make Jeongguk reason with him.

No matter how gentle Jimin was trying to be, he still gets an unwanted reaction from the other man, who now crosses his arms on his chest and furrows his brows. “Oh, so I should be the one to talk first. Why can't it be her? No one ever thinks of the way I’m feeling.” Once again, Jeongguk is being unreasonably difficult. He hates the words he chooses as soon as they come out of his mouth.

Jeongguk knows his friends deeply care for him, especially the one in front of him. They had been glued together since the day they met, now even sharing an apartment. They weren’t totally compatible for multiple reasons, but that’s probably why they became so close. They both added elements that were missing to each other and created a smooth dynamic, a connection able to transcend many barriers.

That’s why Jeongguk knows he can be as childish as he wants, because Jimin will always find the right words to put him in his rational mind again, “Guk, what I’m trying to say is… This is genuinely not healthy for you. You’ve been stressing so much over this and detaching yourself from the others.”

The brown haired boy keeps eye contact with his friend now, no longer escaping confrontation. He’ll admit he’s tired of running. Jimin really hopes his eyes can help his words convey how he feels about this, “They’ve asked me if you’re okay, you know. They noticed. They miss you when you’re not there.”

Hearing this makes Jeongguk bite his lip and look away in thought. He’s never been like this. Jeongguk doesn’t want to be like this. Feels terrible knowing his friends have probably interpreted him being more absent in a completely wrong way. No one else knows about the real reason, except Jimin.

He feels stupid when he realises just seeing her again had taken such a toll on him, when really he loves being surrounded by his people. The people who have been by his side this past year, who made university bearable, with whom he finally felt like he belonged somewhere. Now, one of them is in front of him, trying anything to get him to say a simple yes, “C’mon? It’s gonna be fun, we can just be on our own if you w-“

“Jimin. It’s okay. I’m coming.” He doesn’t know if it’s an impulsive decision, but seeing the incredulous smile on the blonde guy’s face makes him not dwell too much on what he just agreed to.

Jimin scoots his seat closer, putting his hands on Jeongguk’s shoulders, “Really? You’ll come?” Seeing the other boy just nodding at his questions, he makes a sound close to a squeal and claps his hands, “It’s gonna be so fun. The best party we’ve ever been to. I promise!”

The younger one just laughs while Jimin goes on about how he has to update the group chat on Jeongguk’s presence and, “Should we plan our fits? I was thinking of wearing that shirt Hobi lent me that I never gave back.”

Jeongguk laughs, genuinely surprised that his presence could lift Jimin’s spirit up so much. He has been too harsh on himself ever since she made her appearance, thinking it wouldn’t make a difference if he was there or not for the others. Fuck her. Those are his friends too.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

As soon as he heard the house phone ring, he picked it up. There could be three possible people calling: his aunt, his grandmother, or Eunbi. Guessing by the time displayed on his computer, it had to be the third. With how much the two of them spent talking over the phone (even if they lived next to each other) Jeongguk had asked his mom to get him a desk phone of his own, so it could be easier to call.

Pausing the game he had been close to finishing, he moved the device to his ear, “Hello?”

“Jeongguk…” Noises close to sobs could be heard on the other line, making the boy worry. It was definitely his neighbour’s voice, but something about it was not right.

With his eyes unconsciously wide open, making them bigger than they already were, he got up from his seat on the desk, “Bee? Everything okay?”

Silence was what he was met with initially, until he could hear sniffing and shuffling, “Huh… I don’t know. I think I got the… thing.”

At that, Jeongguk slowed down. Panic slowly left his body, which automatically sat down again on the chair. The boy almost didn’t consider a very important feature characterising his best friend: her being totally over dramatic about anything slightly outside of her usual routine.

If one single hair was out of place; if someone didn’t agree with her; if Jeongguk picked Toad instead of his usual Luigi in Mario Kart. Little meaningless actions that could get Eunbi to either yell, cry, or both.

When anything of the sort would get that reaction out of the girl, Jeongguk would do the most to be an absolute menace and make it ten times worse, just because he enjoyed bickering with her.

However, he knew not to do that in situations like these, when he didn’t know if she was genuinely hurt and needed some sort of comfort, protection. That’s why he did his best to understand the situation, “What… thing are we talking about exactly?”

“I… This is disgusting. But my parents are out, I’m home alone, and,” she sobbed “I need diapers but like, for women.” Another hiccup escaped her.

The boy on the other side didn’t know how to react. Had a vague idea of what could have happened but wasn’t that confident to assume, “What the heck are you talking about.”

“Jeongguk! Just get me those things and come here!” The line got cut abruptly and for a second Jeongguk sat there, just listening to the endless beeping. It resembled what was happening within his brain cells. Think, think, think.

He was pretty sure he saw his mother buying diapers-like stuff, came across them a few times in the bathroom. Knew every time she complained about pain, his dad automatically went out to buy those for her; figured it’s what Eunbi needed and begged for.

Putting the phone down, he sprinted to the upstairs bathroom, glad his parents were still downstairs, probably watching those game shows they love, assuming from their laughter. Which is also how he thought they would react if they saw him digging through his mom’s drawer looking for pads.

He found two types, “Why do they make one for day and one for night…” As he inspected them, he figured he should bring both and let the pained girl try them on or something. Do they go by size? This is weird.

Jeongguk took everything he could find and put it in his backpack, hurriedly going down the stairs and just then realising he had to come up with an excuse to his parents’ questioning eyes.

“Huh… Eunbi wanted to show me a new game she got. I’ll be back in a few.” He nodded enthusiastically, more to himself for being so quick on the spot, and rapidly exited the door before anything his parents said could stop him.

When he rang the doorbell, the first time wasn’t successful. He unconsciously bit his lip and tried again, worried something might have happened. With his finger hovering over the buzzer for a third time, the door suddenly opened and a messy haired Eunbi pulled him in.

“This is insane. I’m only eleven. This can’t be happening, Gguk. I used Dad’s computer to look this up and it’s saying this comes every month. Every month!” His back to the door, the boy was held hostage by his babbling best friend on the verge of a serious crisis, “This is the end of m-“

“Jesus Christ, stop.” Jeongguk put his hands on her shoulders, trying to get the scared girl to stop panicking, “I got what you need. They’re called pads, by the way. Also, why do I know more about this than you?” The older boy knew he shouldn’t be pissing off his already very pissed off neighbour, but he can’t help it. Loved making fun of her.

Still, with Eunbi’s voice being surely audible even from outside the house, yelling at him for disrespecting her, he took out the women-diapers and handed them to her, “Listen, I’m not sure how these work. I can look it up online, if you w-“

“No, oh my god. You don’t wanna see what I saw. I’ll figure this out.” Tugging the five packs of pads to her chest, she nodded confidently. She rocked on her heels, lifting her shoulders up and then down releasing a long sigh, almost as if she was waiting for something else. Jeongguk exchanged her (not so) convinced nod, not sure what else to do, “Huh… Okay, go.”

“Yes! Right,” Nodding again, this time repeatedly, she turned around. Not even one step in, she spinned to face the older boy again, embarrassment dancing on her cheeks, “Um… actually, stand outside the door?” She smiled her sweetest one and, without waiting for an answer, dragged him to the bathroom door, closing it to his face but still talking through the whole thing, oh, I think it fits like this; no, maybe like that. This doesn’t feel so bad. Just sticky. Jeongguk wasn’t sure this was what he agreed to when becoming friends with a girl.

Twenty minutes later, the newly menstruating girl came out of the room, looking up at her best friend. He was glad something different was now showing on her face, something close to relief, “I feel better, Gguk. I feel like this is a new beginning,” which was followed by her endless ranting — review and all — on this new experience. She couldn’t believe she shared her first period with Jeongguk. Heck, Jeongguk couldn’t either.

“Why didn’t you just call your mom?” With a movie playing in the background, only after an hour of looking up “menstrual cycle” online, he genuinely wondered why he was the one there instead of her mom or one of her girl friends.

By the looks of it, Eunbi didn’t take the simple question that well, “I get it, you hate me, you think I’m annoying and-“

“God, you get what I mean when I say you’re over dramatic?”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

That version of Eunbi feels much closer to the one that’s in front of him right now, turned around and waiting in line to get inside the club all their friends decided to go to together. After agreeing impulsively, there was much rethinking on his side, but Jimin would keep begging him to just come, it’ll be a fun night.

Sure. There he is. Not even in, and already hating every second of it. It was not only because of her, Jeongguk just didn’t get the hype around dancing for hours and being suffocated by other sweating drunk bodies. To be completely honest, he dreaded these places. Now even more, having to witness Eunbi fighting with random men that take pissing people off as a hobby.

The worst thing that could happen to her already over dramatic personality is being joined by the origin of drama itself, Dahye. The latter is actually the reason why the now yelling girl became part of his friend group. In the middle of last semester, she had to look for a roommate and fate wanted her to be the last person on earth he wished to see again, especially in Seoul. However, they instantly kicked off and she got introduced to the others, which also included Jeongguk. Imagine his face when he saw her.

Everything led to this moment though, with Eunbi and Dahye entertaining the dumb, probably already drunk guys over an even dumber argument, “How are you judging me for drinking a Sex on the Beach when you literally reek of beer, the worst beverage on earth.”

Jeongguk doesn’t know if he’s glad or not that the girl didn’t lose her blabbering tendencies, the little kid inside him enjoying the bickering and seeing her worked up over dismissible issues. However, no matter if she’s discussing cocktails or science, he feels like keeping his guard up high this time, just because these men don’t look like they have the best intentions, and he doesn’t want anybody to get hurt. Anybody.

He’s proved right when they emit the ugliest laughs at Eunbi’s claims, with one of them getting almost all up in her face, which Jeongguk doesn’t like at all. He takes a step further, securing a safer spot behind the girls in case something happens and he has to intervene. You never know with the two roommates, it’s not the first time they’ll be causing a scene. It’s not because he cares about the shorter girl. He’s just worried about her potentially getting the group kicked out. Yeah.

Licking his lips, the bald guy (not even an inch taller than the girls in flat sandals) squares the Sex on the Beach girl up and down, doesn’t look like he’s close to letting the stupid fight go, “Let me guess, the cocktail, those shoes, the attitude… You probably study some dumb shit like Psychology, huh?”

Such a meaningless statement gets all his minions to laugh, patting his shoulders and making more comments amongst themselves. Dahye rolls her eyes, unamused by the whole act, “That’s not the outrage you think it is, babe.”

That only gets the drunk men to laugh more, Jeongguk squeezing his fists for a second and instantly reading the look on the other angered girl’s face, knowing she’s probably ready to turn this into the worst night of every present person’s life just for the sake of her degree’s reputation.

“Ha, ha. Very funny. It’s Literature, you dickwad. You know, you're single-handedly making engineers’ notoriety even worse than it actually is.” Jeongguk knows there’s no stopping Eunbi, but he wishes he could right now. He’s glad the girl is able to stand her own ground, but is also afraid this may end horribly.

The counterpart of the diss seems taken aback, his two brain cells struggling even more because of the alcohol in his body, “How do you know I’m an engineer?”

Having it served on a silver plate, the girl in her short dress smirks, “‘Cause you look like a fucking dick.”

The men feign their surprise, the guy that mainly entertained the conversation saying something along the lines of Wanna see?, pointing at his down area and snickering, while his friends act like he’s the absolute peak of comedy.

Jeongguk has to clench his jaw, not at all pleased with how the situation is escalating. He knows Eunbi can handle such stuff, but he swears he’s one more comment away from stepping in.

On the other hand, she doesn’t seem to mind, not even thinking of backing up and showing the guy her pointer finger and thumb almost touching, indicating the guy’s size. Jeongguk slightly smirks. Then immediately wipes that off his face. He doesn’t find her funny.

“You know, this is the third time you end up talking about my dick,” the bastard is getting closer to his friends, and Jeongguk hates that. “You’re funny, you just need to be disciplined.”

As soon as those words leave his mouth, Eunbi doesn’t hesitate to invade the guy’s personal space too, holding eye contact, ready to literally throw hands if not for Dahye quickly catching her arm to move her away.

The bald head scoffs, before adding the filthiest shit his misogynistic limited mind could come up with, “If you ever need this engineer’s dick when whatever you’re studying leaves your ass on the sidewalk, you can come suck it for a couple of wons.”

Jeongguk sees absolute red for a second. He’s had more than enough now, putting a hand on Eunbi’s shoulder before anything more than an incredulous gasp could leave her mouth. He makes himself noticed, not that it was hard with his taller figure, taking matters in his own hands, “What the hell is your problem, man?”

When the mentioned guy diverts his eyes from the girl he just degraded and moves them on Jeongguk, he takes a step back. Still, he doesn’t stop his dirty mouth from running, “Shit, is she already busy with you? Sorry, man.”

His group laughs at that too, and the taller boy unconsciously squeezes his hand on the girl’s shoulder, clenching his jaw. “You’re fucking disgusting. Get the fuck out of here before I make you.”

What his eyes convey is definitely stronger than the words he lets out, wishing he could destroy every bone in the guy’s body, who now knows to stop being so smart. He mutters a few more comments though, making it harder for Jeongguk to not act upon his violent thoughts, “I���ll give you three fucking seconds.”

That makes the guy lift his hands up in surrender and finally turn the other way, distancing himself even from his friends, who don’t find him amusing anymore.

Jeongguk thinks the whole thing is over, but of course he should have trusted his wide knowledge on the fussy girl’s behaviour more, and predicted that she wouldn’t have let it go so easily, “Oh, so now that a man broke in you shut up, huh? Come talk, you little pus-“

“Eunbi. C’mon. We have to get in,” It’s — strangely — Dahye who doesn’t go along with her roommate and instead directs her to the entry, assuring her how there’s going to be no more trouble and just a long night of fun. The other girl just scoffs, too busy looking back at those men to try and get them to react again, but when she’s inside and she loses sight of them she finds her eyes meeting Jeongguk’s, who is directly behind her.

The interaction is awkward, to say the least. She slightly bows at him in recognition, while he just nods and does his best to avoid finding her eyes again, resorting to turning around in search for Jimin, probably way behind with Hoseok.

He’s so thankful when he feels a pat on his shoulder, and looking to his side it’s Namjoon that pulls him into a side hug, “That was tuff, man.”

“Ah, nothing,” Jeongguk nods, adrenaline still struggling to leave his body and not allowing him to relax. He follows his friend’s steps even if they’re going in the same direction as the person he’s now even more than before trying to avoid. He didn’t plan to be this close to her for so long.

“I thought you hated,” the taller guy uses his chin to refer to the girl in front of them. “But here you are defending her.”

The other guy is glad for the loud music playing, the last thing he wanted was for the mentioned girl to hear. He also doesn’t want Namjoon or anyone else to think that was him coming in her defence. It was just common sense. Doesn’t know why he felt like breaking the guy’s nose though. Figures that’s common sense too.

Before he can justify himself, the remaining members of the group reach them, giving Jeongguk the chance to get away from the sight of the girl but still feeling a burning sensation on his tongue. The need to make himself clear.

The chaotic atmosphere is even more emphasised by his already tipsy friends telling him again and again how happy they are to see him here, shaking him by the shoulders with way too much enthusiasm. Now distracted by the earlier incident, he just jokes with them like usual, but he feels a nervous sensation creeping up his neck. With a drink in his hand, he tries to follow the music, but he can’t seem to focus.

When Jeongguk finds Namjoon again, who was already handed a drink by Jimin, he gets close to his ear, replying to his previous insinuation, “I wasn’t- defending her.”

The older guy furrows his brows at him, signalling the conversation being over and certainly not that important, “Sure, man.” Showing his thumbs up, Namjoon scream sings some lyrics at him, Jeongguk still feeling a bit uneasy. He just needed to specify that. He was not defending Eunbi. Well, technically. But Dahye was there too, and she’s his friend. Of course he would have done th-

“Ggukkie!” It’s Jimin’s voice pulling him away from his thoughts, but also pulling him closer to the floor, “I’m so happy you’re here! This is fun, no?”

Jeongguk nods and chuckles at his best friend’s horrific dance moves, just now realising how tipsy he already is but taking it as the opportunity to fully let what happened go.

The rest of the night is unexpectedly fun. He’s surrounded by great energy that his friends keep oozing, and he realises just how much he had missed laughing to the point of his stomach hurting. Shouting when the group's favourite songs came on. Chuckling at a way too drunk Hoseok trying to get him to move his hips a bit more. Of course, he should have predicted his friends’ main goal is to get absolutely shit faced tonight. He isn’t really in the mood for that, though enjoying the state of the others while too much alcohol is flowing in their bodies.

No drinking means Jeongguk’s social battery is running out much faster than the others’, not having enough energy to entertain the constant back and forth between his friends, and certainly to handle them not even needing one single break from the dance floor.

At some point during the endless dancing, he settles on just being by the bar counter, sitting on a stool and taking no more than a few sips from the drink Jimin had given him as soon as he had stepped foot in the club, which was hours ago by now. He doesn’t know why, but alcohol tastes awful on his tongue tonight and it’s a task on its own to even swallow it.

”Can I buy you a drink?” It comes from a silky voice on his right, close enough to startle him slightly before he recollects and takes in the girl looking at his face expectantly. She has soft features framed by smooth blonde hair, completely contrasted by her intense makeup and burgundy mini dress. So far from his type, but Jeongguk entertains it for some reason.

”Well, you stole my line there,” the smile he gives her is gentle but playful and it sets the girl into a fit of giggles, clearly amused by the mysterious dark guy sitting alone by the bar. And that’s exactly what she tells him, ”I had to give it a try, you get me? I love boys that look just like they need to be fixed.”

“That is absolutely ridiculous,” he genuinely laughs, and he’s joined by her. Jeongguk can’t lie, the conversation between them takes off right from the start. It’s a nice back and forth that takes his mind off things for a while, not enough to actually give into her flirty intentions, but enough to eventually move to the dance floor with her. She’s witty and he likes that about her. Abbey? Ashley? He clearly doesn’t like her enough to remember. Or maybe he just doesn’t care.

He can’t bring himself to, especially when his line of vision falls right on a tipsy Dahye-less Eunbi next to what seems to be more than one guy. She’s laughing a lot and he’s sure none of what the men are spluttering can be that funny. It’s probably just the alcohol, and that is enough for him to keep him observing. Only to make sure nothing bad happens.

Abbey-Ashley must have noticed his sudden disinterest, and with boldness she wraps her short arms around his neck, bringing him way too close to her face than he had planned to be to any woman this night. The eye contact is uncomfortable, and Jeongguk is itching to keep checking on whatever was happening not too far from him, but the blonde speaks her wittiness again, “You won’t let me offer you a drink and you’re not willing to dance with me, is this how men feel?”

The pearly smile on her face lets him know the setting between them is still playful, so he just shakes his head letting a small giggle out of his mouth. Now with the woman almost hanging from his neck, he resolves on just going along with her moves, and when he steals a glance at the girl he was previously keeping an eye on and sees her staring back he feels a sense of unwarranted satisfaction.

He keeps searching for that, wanting more of that groundless feeling but all he’s met with is more and more flashes of her digging a hole he’s afraid she’s gonna fall in, with the men acting way too friendly and her drunk mind not noticing. Or just not caring.

When the blonde in front of him starts being a little too inclined on taking the physical contact further, he regrets not even finishing his previous and only drink of the night, wishing he could give in but knowing he can’t with his mind thinking way too rationally and being too aware of his surroundings. He genuinely thinks Abbey-Ashley is a nice girl, and he feels sorry knowing he’s going to reject her. Thinks it was kind of fuckboy-ish for him to go along with her knowing they’re on two completely different lines, but still doing it because it seemed like the quickest escape from his running mind.

He gently puts his hands on her waist, intent on moving her away and trying to come up with a reasonable excuse, when he hears his name being called and for the second time tonight, he’s glad Namjoon’s parents fucked. ”Hey, JK- oh shoot, am I interrupting something?”

The smokey eyed girl breaks away from her moment and seems suddenly very interested in hearing Jeongguk’s answer, batting her eyelashes at him in hopes of getting a different reaction from what she knows the evident one is going to be. She did know the brown haired man was not interested; she still figured she could try and change that.

Jeongguk moves his gaze from his friend to the girl and hesitates, “Huh… not really.” He gives an awkward tight lipped smile, thinking this is fucking embarassing, then tries not to read too much in Namjoon’s weirded out expression, “What’s up?”

“Everybody is leaving, Jimin and Dahye already did with Hoseok after throwing up on three sofas.” Namjoon scoffs, rolling his eyes amusedly, “Anyway, see you in uni?”

Jeongguk has a few questions he’s afraid to know the answer to, but still he daps up his friend and then inevitably searches with his eyes for Eunbi, the reason for his worry. He knows Dahye, her usual ride home, will kill him if he lets her roommate wander off with some random men while drunk. Hell, he himself wouldn’t let that happen. He dislikes the girl, but he’s still human.

Jeongguk stresses even more when he sees her directed towards the exit with said guys. He completely disconnects from what the burgundy dressed girl is telling him, only picking up a “Can I get your number, though?”

Maybe it’s his guiltiness acting, or just him wanting to find a quick escape, but he does share his number in surely unanswered hope that she’s going to give up reaching out to him eventually. That does get her to part ways though, not before a sneaky kiss is left on his cheek. He really wants to kill Eunbi.

His next steps are directed towards her, ready to re-enact his previous success at getting rid of those beer stinking misogynists, but he’s left surprised, and in some sense relieved, when he sees her standing alone, arms wrapped around her small freezing figure with her phone to her ear. When he gets closer, he’s able to catch her muttering nasty remarks towards Dahye, so bad that he believes her roommate can feel them right now, in her probably passed out state and all.

”Fucking fuck, why is she not answering,” Before she can dial her number for the fifth time, she spots Jeongguk on her right, and for the first time since they saw each other again in years, she seems glad that he’s there, “Jeongguk!” Her voice is giddy, and he thinks he hasn’t heard his name being said like that in a long time.

Still, he keeps an unbothered act up while standing in front of her, hands in his jeans pockets, “Dahye went home already. I’m guessing she was your ride home.”

Now, he knows she’s overdramatic, but with alcohol flowing through her system that trait of her surely reaches its finite form. She lets out an incredulously loud gasp, mouth hanging and all, and whispers some more insults under her breath. When she still doesn’t reply, he listens more attentively to what she’s muttering and he latches on to her intention of going back home with a taxi, “I have 9,000 won on me, so that will probably do, Eunbi…”

He witnesses beyond belief the girl in front of him giving herself a whole encouraging speech before taking off onto the road, uncareful of eventual vehicles steering on it. That triggers his instinct, yelling her name. It unexpectedly but luckily stops her in her tracks, making her turn around with a not so pleased expression.

Jeongguk can’t believe what he’s offering to do while having to be met with that look on her face. Ugh, brat. “What the hell are you doing? C’mon, I’m taking you home.”

The laugh she lets out is so obnoxious and loud that a few people actually turn around startled, and Jeongguk has to literally sprint over to her, holding her wrist to bring her further away from the road and from the club’s entrance, “Shut up, God,” He whisper yells, while she seems to do the exact opposite.

It luckily stops at some point, but as if nothing ever happened she turns too serious too soon, ”You…” Her finger is pointed at Jeongguk’s chest in what seems to be a menacing manner, eyes narrowed and dipping into his, “You own that loud bike. I’m not getting on it. Not getting on it!” She yells that last sentence, making a scene as if she was trying to break free from Jeongguk’s hold, which he immediately drops, while still trying to get her to be quiet.

The genuinely desperate expression on the boy’s face is enough for her next move to be crouching in half, holding her stomach as unexpected laughter holds her body hostage once again, Jeongguk sighing unbelievably and regretting every single thought of his that led him to follow her outside.

”Can you please- be normal,” Jeongguk actually begs, bringing the girl up and noticing real tears around her eyes, smudging her glittery makeup. He doesn’t know what’s so funny, his expression clearly conveying that annoyment.

”You- You’re too funny,” She giggles, recovering from her sudden fit of laughter, which dies down slowly this time with her emitting a long sigh. The drunk girl shakes her head to herself, retrieving her phone once again and opening the Uber app. Jeongguk is having none of it.

”I’m being serious. I’m not letting you get a taxi at this hour. You’re getting on that loud bike, like it or not.” His firm statement is luckily not followed by chuckles, nor by a witty remark, just her snapping her head up with big eyes staring into his unsurely. He feels like having to deal with an eleven year old all over again, only this time his patience is running thin and he doesn’t feel like waiting.

The girl catches up to him, trying her best to keep up with his pace and following him closely to the vehicle that’s going to be her ride home tonight. She shivers, not only because she’s cold but also because she’s rethinking life choices. Eunbi scrambles to find anything to avoid what was bound to happen, her slow mind trying to come up with a quick escape and not even registering Jeongguk putting his jacket around her shoulders and securing the helmet under her chin, while she almost literally just stands there. “I’m sure-” she hiccups, “I’m sure that blonde girl would love to be in my position right now.”

That is not at all how it was supposed to come out nor sound, the confusion evident on the boy’s face being met with horror written in the girl’s expression. She stutters, “I meant, like- you should be taking her home.”

A part of his brain notes the fact that she was also observing him from a distance not too long ago inside the club, but he leaves that thought for his late night thinking. Right now, he chuckles amusedly, sitting on his bike while adjusting his hair, “Hop on. It won’t kill you.”

The possibility of the bike killing her almost does it for her, until she remembers the other option. Having to pay for an Uber at 4 a.m. while too drunk to even formulate a senseful sentence. In front of her instead, a free ride by no one other than the boy she’s been shamelessly avoiding for no reason, too scared to actually confront him. What a great second option.

Still, she balances herself using his shoulders and gets on the bike, not knowing where to put her hands next. That thought seems to be registering at the same time in Jeongguk’s head, who revs the engine, “I suggest you hold onto me.”

Eunbi scoffs, shoving her straightened hair back in a sassy manner, “There’s no way in hell-“ Her remark is abruptly interrupted by a loud squeal, followed by her arms wrapping around his torso in under one millisecond, with Jeongguk suddenly taking off at full speed.

He laughs a genuine one, and that gets the scared girl pissed beyond hell, yelling in his ear about how she hates his guts with her hands almost close to groping his pecs. Can you blame her? They’re the closest thing she can hold on to right now to survive.

He does slow down, as does his laughter and her screaming, but then as he rounds the club he spots the men who had been bothering Eunbi at the beginning of the night intent on crossing the street. He figures he can play a bit more before actually stopping sabotaging the girl in the back’s health. Just a little something to get back at them for their comments. So, he zooms right past them, cutting their way suddenly and almost probably going over one of their toes, their incredulous yelling and remarks being music for his ears, joined by the girl he’s taking home as she screams more insults at him, looking back at the angered men getting further as Jeongguk drives away.

”Are you trying to take my life?” She’s almost voiceless as she tries to make herself heard over the engine, squeezing Jeongguk’s waist in genuine fear. All she gets back from the biker is a giggle, and a tap on her knee, “Sorry. They deserved it. You can relax now.”

As suspicious as she may have been initially, he didn’t lie. The rest of the ride is pleasant, slow driving while a sweet summer breeze brushes her face and makes her hair flow with the wind. No one dares break the moment, not even at red lights when the only sound that can be heard over the silence is the growling motor. Eunbi is glad Jeongguk knows the way to her flat, having already been there with the others for a few house parties she and Dahye hosted. That means she can just zone out in the back, her head resting on Jeongguk’s shoulders, and right in this moment she doesn’t regret almost risking her life, the sight of the city flashing past her making her forget all about it.

When Jeongguk can feel the grip around his torso getting loose, he taps her knee twice, afraid she might be falling asleep. He’s proved right when that gesture gets her to suddenly shake her head, muttering some noises and tightening her hold around him again. He smiles, ”We’re almost home, don’t fall asleep on me.”

Indeed, the sight of her building comes to view shortly after, Jeongguk stopping in front of it and waiting for his backpack to get off the bike. When she does, she stumbles slightly, seemingly gaining consciousness of her surroundings again. Jeongguk notices she completely wrapped herself in his leather jacket, figures she was probably freezing to death in that short dress of hers. Thinks it’s a cute sight. Regrets having a brain right after.

Said cute sight struggles to take off the helmet, Jeongguk itching to help her, but she succeeds unexpectedly without any help. Still no word being uttered by any of the two, with her hair a tangled mess, she gets close to him and repeats the same actions Jeongguk did to her earlier, handing his jacket back and putting the helmet around his head. When she’s done she pats it, then takes a step back.

A simple ride home on Jeongguk’s bike seems to have opened a black hole of unsaid truths, being communicated by their eyes just staring at each other. None of them is ready to voice them out, though. Eunbi clears her throat, pulling the hem of her dress down as a habit, clearly out of embarrassment. Then, she fixes her locks, “That’s very dangerous, you know?”

Jeongguk hums questionly, moving some of his bangs out of his vision and clearly seeing goosebumps rising on the girl’s skin, unsure of why she prefers trying to converse after minutes of silence over warming up in her flat.

“You giving me your helmet and your jacket. What if you hurt yourself?” She keeps muttering some more remarks under her breath, probably slander reserved just for him this time. He can make out a dumbass. What a nerve.

She may be right, though. Without his jacket on, he was only covered by a tight black shirt, nothing on his head to save him from any eventuality he doesn’t want to consider. Still, he clearly doesn’t see why he wouldn’t have preferred to protect her instead of himself, but he doesn’t exactly say that, “If I didn’t do that, you would have been a popsicle by now.”

The girl giggles, proving him right when she wraps her arms around her figure, “So, you do this for every girl? What if one of them gets you killed?”

Jeongguk scoffs amusedly, shaking his head at her implication, but deciding to ignore it, “The only one who got me close to that was you.” He only says that to gain one of her too over the top reactions, and he’s glad when she furrows her brows, hanging her mouth and bringing a hand to her chest. He chuckles, “If anything you should be thanking me.”

The usually over dramatic girl now just nods, taking in the smile on his face and grasping the fact that it hasn’t been directed at her in a long time before this moment. She smiles too, “Yeah, huh… Thanks. For the ride. ‘T was nice.”

Jeongguk figures the wind must have dried up almost all the alcohol from Eunbi’s body, because she seems to be realising, just as he is, how close they have gotten to one another while ignoring the huge elephant in the room, her attitude being way less sassy and picky with this knowledge. Fazed by this sudden but obvious realisation, he only nods.

The girl quickly notices the change in his demeanour and she nervously bites her lower lip, aware their dynamic is going to return to cold stares and unacknowledgement, but still wanting to hold onto this moment even for one more second. “Oh,” her chest jumps in some sort of gasp, realising she still has something else to thank him for, “Thanks for earlier. You know, with those guys. I appreciated it.”

Differently from Eunbi, Jeongguk wants to be done with this pretence already. As soon as he found himself getting too lost in the fantasy of them still being friends, he quickly recovered and put the wall up high again, making the distance between them even farther than it was before. He doesn’t miss the sadness in her eyes when that shift happens, but he also doesn’t want to dwell too much on it, his tone unbothered all of the sudden while his eyes convey a different story, “No problem. Get inside.”

She nods, giving him a tight lipped smile, turning around slowly and making her way to the front door of the building. She expects to hear the roaring of the bike’s engine, but the only sound that can be heard is that of the birds waking up and singing their morning songs.

Jeongguk stays in his spot on the bike until he sees the girl enter the block, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding and then securing the helmet under his chin. Pats it, then immediately retreats his hand. “Dumbass,” That’s his signal he needs to get home as soon as possible and get some sleep, already imagining how difficult such a simple task will be with his mind running a hundred miles per hour. Fucking Bee.

[mintiicinnamonii]

Im a sucker for angst so uhhh

Can I request a Macaque x reader who was once possessed by the LBD

And he can't help but flinch whenever they get mad cuz it reminds him of that time

And last but not least, u doin okay?

notes: yeah im doing quite well! i love angst, and i also love s3/lbd readers, so this is PERFECT :3

i’ve been experimenting with the format of my posts, so sorry for the inconsistency!

Oh Who is She?

You and Macaque got into a fight. A BIG fight. About what? You didn’t even remember anymore. You gritted your teeth as Macaque tried to reason with you, fists shaking. You snapped your head over to him, glaring at him with daggers in your eyes, and Macaque swore he saw a shimmer of blue in them. “GOD, WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!” 

Macaque flinched, backing up in shock and fear. His golden eyes widenedas he stared at you, throat dry. He was unable to speak, with his ears pinned back against his head, as a familiar feeling of dread filled his mind. The same dread he’d feel when he was around HER. He looked like a trapped animal; a horrified, weak, trapped animal. 

You maintained your scowl, until you suddenly realized what you did. The glass of water you were holding fell onto the ground, as your breathing quickened. “Macaque- I- I’m sorry- I- I didn’t mean to..” You covered your mouth, hyperventilating. The feeling of someone behind you sent a chill up your spine, and you felt something scratching at your skull. You wanted- no- NEEDED to get it out. You fell onto the floor, desperately picking up the broken shards with your shaking hands, biting your tongue so the tears wouldn’t fall. You cut your hands on the glass as you picked the shards up- it was so hard to hold anything- why was it so hARD-

Macaque saw your panicked state, and was immediately filled with worry. He was still shaken up by your sudden anger, but this wasn’t the time to worry about himself right now. “Woah- plum- you’re gonna hurt yourself!” He crouched down to you, holding your hands. He frowned, seeing how much they were shaking, “Hey, hey.. its okay. Look at me. Hey, look at me.” You hesitatantly shifted your gaze to your boyfriend, as Macaque smiled at you softly. “Thats it.. I need you to breathe with me, m’kay? In and out...” He inhaled and exhaled exaggeratedly, squeezing your hand. “You can do it, gem..”

You were quivering, but did your best to breathe as Macaque uttered sweet nothings into your ear. “You’re doing so good for me, starlight.. just like that…”

Soon enough, you were able to calm down enough, looking up at Macaque. “Sorry..” Your voice was raspy from the yelling and crying. “I shouldnt have snapped at you- god, why did I do that- I’m a horrible partner-“ Macaque furrowed his brows. “No. No you’re not. You are an amazing partner. You didn’t mean to-“

“BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE IT OKAY!” You sobbed. “If I hadn’t been possessed by that damn DEMON- none of this would have happened! I ruined everything; I wasn’t strong enough to fight against her, its all my fault!” The tears came in full force now, your eyes like waterfalls carved into your skull by the Lady Bone Demon’s cold, clawed hands, water rushing it from a dam of your own self hatred. “You shouldn’t have to put all of your struggles aside just for me! I fucked up!” 

Macaque let out a slow sigh. “Yeah. You did… but.. I forgive you.” Your eyes widened. “What?”

“I forgive you. I understand that you were the one that yelled at me, and yes, it still hurt..” He held your hand, his calloused hands intertwining with yours. “But I understand you didn’t mean to hurt me, and that you want to be better. And I still love you.” He gave your hand a gentle kiss, tail curling around your leg. Your heart’s icy walls shattered, replaced by pure adoration and raw emotion. “I love you too.” You smiled shakily. Macaque helped you up, careful to not let either of you step on the glass. “Lets go patch ya up, yeah? I’ll clean that up later..” 

You smiled. “Yeah. Sounds good.”