#im already painting a bunch of other shit

[mephiles-the-jester]

i just spent the whole day building a 4 story apartment complex in the sims 4 decorated for specific sonic characters,,but i dont own the for rent pack so i cant really do much with it,and i have no idea why i did all that

[radiation]

Ok here are my brief thoughts on Mouthwashing. SPOILERS WARNING And mostly negative sorry. Lots of things i liked but i think most ppl have said that stuff already so i wont repeat it

Loved the art direction, really loved the dialogue, I enjoyed the game a lot in the first half. Unfortunately towards the halfway point where it began leaning further into the horror game shit it really started losing me. The gameplay segments where you get chased around by something or other were seriously just horrendously, horrendously badly designed and a lot of the puzzles felt repetitive or inscrutable (Altho keep in mind I'm terrible at solving puzzles/finding shit in video games. When people talk about "yellow paint" I'm 100% who that shit is for)

It wasnt just the gameplay though, I also just wasn't a huge fan of the metaphorical / scary visuals / out-of-body experience stuff. I felt it slowed down the pace of events and put a barrier between me and the reality of the story being told. It rarely communicated new plot points and ideas and mostly restated information I'd already received verbally in an abstract way. Yes they were visually stunning, very technically impressive, and a few felt genuinely novel and well-placed (the reveal of the mouthwash ad on the TV fucking ruled), but I feel like for the most part those moments were almost obligatorily following modern indie horror game trends. I understand the point of that kind of stuff and it definitely can be effective, but idk i see it so much Im just personally very tired of it unless it really justifies its own existence, and in this case i unfortunately felt it didnt

I also didnt find the sort of "twist" with the main character very compelling and the more extreme his actions became the more I became disappointed. Like once you start getting a guy feeding another dude his own leg at a table with a bunch of dead ppl set on chairs with party hats on (even if its intended to be metaphorical) you have killed my suspension of disbelief. Especially since the character work at the beginning of the game felt a lot more grounded it was just like really. I get its horror but thats trite as fuck sorry.

A lot of this comes down to personal preference but if it were me Id have pared down the gameplay so its more towards the visual novel direction and made the scenario and character behaviors toward the end more grounded/real world so the horror comes more from the Real Fucked Up And Horrible Shit That Is Actually Happening, not the abstraction of it. I really found the character dialogue so much more compelling, original, and better at communicating ideas than the metaphorical visuals, so just own that instead. Like i personally wouldnt have had much of this stuff or any at all but again, definitely personal preference, so if it we're going middle ground -- horror visuals can still exist in some form, but i think would be better as a backdrop that fades in and out rather than being something that, in order to experience, you have to totally disengage with the story at hand for long stretches

Another thing I felt and like, sorry this is pretty mean, but as much as people praise the story it really isn't doing much of anything new or different. It's largely well-executed, but as far as sci-fi and horror goes, it's really quite generic. A well-put together combination of a handful of movies and games and whatnot, but rarely much more than the sum of its parts. The moments where it went beyond that were in the very real-life themes and the character work, which again got lost little by little due to its increasing insistence on being an indie horror game. The point for me isn't that everything has to be totally original and not at all contrived, like familiar ideas being well executed can be really really powerful, its more that with all the issues there were i didnt feel the story was strong enough to completely redeem it

Also slowly dawned on me that Anya is pretty much just shelley duvall and it started bothering me like i couldnt stop seeing it

+ I found the writing kind of misogynist. Anya isnt a bad character but if you look at all the individual points of her character its like wow you had to have the singular woman in the cast have literally all of those traits and all of those things happen to her? Its very like 1980s male auteur movie director type shit. And if the shelley duvall thing wasnt a total coincidence that like, especially does not put a good taste in my mouth

Also Swansea fucking rules best character eva

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/allnewalldifferentwildspider/748862622231838720/the-reason-im-so-vulgar-in-regards-to-aangs

What a bunch of bullshit.

"He makes no effort to get to know or understand her" they're literally traveling the whole world together - and their original reason for doing that was because he wanted to help her go to the North Pole to learn waterbending, something which means a lot to her. Just because the writers didn't think the audience was stupid and needed a scene of them sitting down and telling each other a list of their flaws, qualities and motivations, doesn't mean their relationship was shallow.

"We get the MALE GAZE from him" Wow, he thinks a pretty girl is pretty. What a crime.

"He doesn't try to find out what happened to her mom" he didn't have to, she fucking told him basically right away. Complaining about that is like complaining he never asked if Sokka was her brother, even though one of the first things Sokka ever said to Aang was "And this is Katara, my flying sister"

"He always gets surprised when she's mad about something" Aang, the naturally cheery person, is pretty much ALWAYS surprised whenever ANYONE is angry, because that's not an emotionl he usually experiences much. Doesn't mean he doesn't get her - and I say this as a very grumpy person.

And ya know who else gets surprised at Katara's anger all the time? Zuko. The guy that sent an assassin after her group because Katara had to bring Aang back to life after Azula killed him - which only happened because Zuko helped her when Aang and Katara had her cornered.

Funny how things are only bad when Aang does it, but totally okay when Zuko does them in VERY different contexts that obviously paint him in a negative light for good reason.

"He hates the food and culture that she loves so much" Disliking a culture's food is not the same as hating said culture. We only see him talk shit about the Water Tribe's hunting culture once: in the Bato episode, in his friends are accidentally shutting him out of the conversation because they're too excited about being reunited with someone that is basically family. A 12-year-old throwing a tantrum is not the same as him being openly racist. Ya know what IS racist though? Zuko supporting his nation's attempt to genocide the water tribes.

"He doesn't respect her boundaries and kisses her twice without her consent" ONE poorly timed kiss is not the same as him forcefully holding her in place and kissing her, or even asking first then going for it anyway after she said an explicit no. And Katara visibly enjoyed the kiss during the eclipse episode, and was basically cuddlying with him on Appa afterwards.

"He keeps trying to talk for her when she's angry" You mean literally the same thing Zuko did in Southern Raiders?

"He expects her to do the work for their relationship... but he also makes wild assumptions about them being an item already... but he also wanted to talk things out with her to make sure he got it right..." I don't even need to tear these apart, the OP did it for me by making their arguments contradict each other. How kind of them.

"Aang wants the beautiful image of Katara. He wants that pretty face, those big blue eyes, that body, those long legs, those hips, the chest, and the hair that is just so manageable" While Aang is attracted to her, he NEVER mentioned a single one of those things, ever. The hair thing was literally MENG being insecure about her own hair. If you wanna simp for Katara, go ahead and do it, there's nothing wrong with it, but don't act like Aang only sees her a piece of meat.

"He has no interest in the complex, strong, hurt, angry, and caring person that Katara actually is" Ah yes, that's why he doesn't cheer her on when she's fighting Pakku, or helps her with the Painted Lady thing because he admires her compassion, or tells her she gives him hope, or calls her sifu, or accepts that she won't kill Yon Rah but also won't forgive... oh wait, he did do all those things.

"I'm calling it like I see it" Too bad you need glasses and refuse to wear them.

"Aang doesn't actually like Katara; he's just really horny for her" Considering your random description of why she's so hot in a post that has nothing to do it, all while ignoring her agency that used to choose Aang, I'd say that's more likely to be an accurate description of YOU than of our protagonist. Sorry, just calling it like I see it.

[timelord-69]

Finally, I was able to make hair I don't hate! This is Sam the Lamb in the security breach style! I used Glam!Chica as a reference for Proportion and help with how to make a more 'realistic' looking animatronic. (Also, for lore reasons, look below for that :p)

Lore under break!

She was designed by junior robotist who used a outdated (and public domain) glam!Chica model as her base. Fazbear Inc. Tried to sue, but once it went public they faced Heavy backlash. Eventually they decided to settle, giving the creator a large sum of money in return for Fazbear Inc. Getting full rights to Sam.

She is in the theater/daycare area, having very limited and monitored contact with guests. At this point, she's still not 'glamrock' yet, them needing to decide her colors and gimmick. She has a joint activity with Roxy where it's basically a HUGE game of tag across the theater, sheeps vs. wolfs style.

Since she's not originally Faz-tech, she doesn't have the internet filter the others have. the original creator not needing one and assuming fazbears inc will add it and the Faz-Technician in charge of her assuming it's already added, letting her know info the others don't (Also making her not connected to the network and essentially stuck in safe mode)

Faz Inc. Made it a contest where (with the purchase of a year pass) you can enter a glamrock design into a 'blind raffle' (not really, the techs will look through all submissions and choose the one they like) Roxy later takes advantage of this and uses a tech that is aware they're sentient to make her design (that her and Roxy came up with) win.

Her and Chica have a kinda 'sisters' relationship, considering they are the only farm themed animatronics left (rip Bonnie), and she uses Chica's base. Sam complains about how she can't eat, and Chica complains about wanting a cupcake companion like her past versions.

Her and Roxy have a 'ooohhh nooooooo, the big bad wolf is after meeee🥺' stick that they play up for the, but talk shit once the plez closes, Roxy happy to have another girl in the plex thats a blank canvas (Roxy is the one who ends up coming up with her color scheme and glam design)

Freddy asks her a BUNCH of questions bc of her not having the filter (I once read a fic where Gregory got injured, I think broken bone, and only Roxy was programed with the knowledge of how to set and Stabilize his arm). He's also the one who teaches her how things work in the pizza plex.

She openly stares at monty's ass-

I mean- because Cringe is dead, im shipping her with Monty. Gonna be the classic 'looks mean, actually a softy' x 'looks Innocent, secretly not', her lack of filters making her VERY Mischievous, telling dirty jokes whenever no one's looking.

Later on, once her glamrock design is finalized, she is able to roam the plex like the others during the day. It is during the wandering that she stumbles upon the arcade and discovers she glows in the black light! After that, she all but demands that her tag game get a black light version for the older kids, providing black light sensitive face paint for the children.

Here's every design I have of her, from her pre!glamrock to her black light version! Hope you enjoyed the lore!

[bokunosoul]

Hiiii ur head canons are literally so good could u make an actual story for the undertaker one from ur “Black Butler men as cliché love tropes pt. 2” post?? It’s too good😏

Once upon a Victorian love story

AN : Oh god this request was like 2 years ago, im so sorry i had a writers block and an unmotivated self ): So i hope this long one shot will be acceptable.

Warnings : This was before undertaker becomes a funeral director, typo errors, reader is sent bac kin the 1800s, angst, past lovers au, abuse, messed up shit in the era, death, im using "adrian crevan" as undertaker's name for this au but it's not official yet (only a theory)

I was sitting the the bus for what seems like eternity now. It was the day of the most awaited college fieldtrip for your history major, everyone is exempted in the finals. Except you need to join this trip and write a thousand words essay to pass.

“Hey y/n!” i turn my head to my friend Samantha who is my seatmate for this trip. "Just in time!" she was panting heavily and i sighed. She was always like this, a last minute go'er kinda girl.

A minute later the professor started doing a roll call for each students---everyone was present. After that the bus started hitting the road, i turn to the bus window and just grabbed my airpods on and listened to some music to pass time whilst watching the view.

Two hours later, we arrived at the outskirts of London. The road was getting narrow and narrow as it reaches the misty forest. Crows flock and squawked around the huge gate of the museum which gave off an mysterious aura at the place. Intriguing.

The huge rusty gate opens automatically and your classmates started filming the place as the bus enters the museum. It has amazing landscape and a castle-like exterior that was well maintained. It was amazing on how it was preserved for 150+ years.

"Ah, Mr. Brown! welcome! welcome!" an elderly man wearing a butler's outfit greets our professor. They seemed to be well acquainted with each other as they hugged each other.

Samantha drags me away in front of the students gathering which a tour guide was calling the attention of all the students. "Welcome to the Phantomhive museum students of the University of England! I am Oliver Smith your official tour guide for this trip." he says and continues making a speech on how about this museum is actually a manor back in the victorian era, where a earl used to live in.

The tour guide leads the steps to the museum and the huge oak doors were already opened, inside it was a floor filled with black and white marbled floor, Greek columns, ceiling decked with lighted chandeliers that made you look in awe, paintings hanged up on the wall on top of the dark oak grand staircase.

You followed the guide upstairs again, which led to a dimly lit hallway which the only light source is the windows. I took out my camera and took photos of several victorian artifacts to document and write about.

After that, the tour guide let us roam around the manor but gave off an warning on prohibited activities such as trespassing the locked rooms, touching the objects and a bunch of other stuff. I walked away and looked around which i ended up suddenly seperated from my friend.

Being bored, you decided to just wander around the museum. You suddenly felt a familiar presence, you stopped and look directly at the gigantic painting encased in gold on top of a fire place. There was a man whom dressed in black holding a scythe of death with a peculiar look of smile on his face and a woman on his side who seems to be in a casket laying beautiful in white.

You found yourself looking the the masterpiece intensely "She is beautiful as always even in her last breath." i turn to look at beside me, it was a man with ominous black hair, maybe a bit older than you and was wearing a butler outfit radiating an peculiar aura. Maybe he's another tour guide? i said to myself

I just stood there frozen feeling a wav of familiarity and longing whilst looking at the painting "Adrian Crevan, he used to be the lord Phantomhive's informant. Well, we prefer calling him 'Undertaker' because that was he's known for. Handling corpses and being a funeral director." the man chuckled, and he turns to look at you and smile.

I just stood there frozen, my mind started go hazy and a sharp pain came crashing in your head and unknown memories started coming back from the past.

It all turned black. That's what i remembered.

Somewhere in the 1800s. --------

"Lady y/n, it's time." my maid Laura says behind me. I sighed and turned around to see her holding a whale bone corset. I raised my arms and let her put on the garment which makes

It was my mother's funeral and i have no energy on whatsoever to dress up and even think right. You did not even need this corset anymore because you don't have the appetite to eat. After finishing on putting on the mourning dress and veil i went outside where my carriage was already waiting, with my father inside it.

He was stern looking as always, but behind that façade of his you knew that he was ecstatic. Afterall he lost all the dignity after taking your mother's last name which made him feel emasculated which resulted to him---having affairs, abusive and absent.

My mother was a weak woman, i must admit. She was bound to die before reaching the age of 40 due to her having pneumonia. Despite this, even when she was sick, she was the one guiding you throughout my childhood. When her body can't take it anymore i was getting guidance from my aunt who is my governess.

At just 37 years old before my 18th birthday, yesterday, she passed away peacefully at night. Right here you could not even cry and remain emotionless, all this was not easily to process in just one day. You were in denial.

I just stood there watching my father shed crocodile tears at his speech on how my mother was a loving wife to him and a bunch of other nonsense that happened to them that did not even happened.

Everyone else was crying pathetically. She was born to die, why would anyone be this surprised? An hour later after the mass, your mother's coffin was brought to the cemetery to lay rest beside her late parents grave.

You just watch it get dumped in with the soil and the mourners throwing a white rose as it gets buried. I walked off as i threw the flower on it. My body felt heavy as i feel my tears started swelling in my eyes and i took off running to hide in the cemetery's nearby garden.

I started hysterically crying eventually falling down on my knees whilst clutching a portrait of my late mother. You could only thank the rain and thunder for now as no one can hear your wailing.

"My, my why is a lady doing here crying alone?" a voice mixed with teasing says. I turn around to see a man with long ash hair wearing a long black suit with glasses.

I sniffled and just wailed again and again until no tears started to come out of my eyes and i just sat on the ground numb from all of the pain while the man just stared at you blankly.

You started getting pissed off as he stares at you "What is your problem, why are you staring!?" i growled at him, he laughs and mumbles an explanation that you could not understand and i stood up and stormed away.

He grabs your hand and gives you something out of his pocket which seemed like a chain. I turn to him and opened my palms. My eyes widened at the sight "T-this!...."

"Your mother asked me to give this to you as a keepsake." the man says, his face stoic. Meanwhile i looked at the locket with my late mother's hair on it emotionally and smiled. Your father did not allow you to keep a memory of your mother, hence burning down all of the photographs, paintings, letters and clothes---every memory of your mother's existence.

The man started walking away "S-sir! wait!" i stopped him. He stops and turn around "W-what's your name?" i asked him stuttering. The man smiled "Adrian Crevan, the grim reaper." he says nonchalantly in a silly way that made you chuckle.

"Thank you, Mr. Adrian the grim reaper...?" i jokingly said while wiping my tears and bow at him in respect. He nods before walking away. You secretly hoped that you see each other again.

Two months later you started healing from the passing of your mother and going out more to balls that your invited too.

I stepped out of the carriage and twinkled at the sight of the beautiful mansion in front of me which belonged to the Duke who is part of the royal family. I stood in line of the guests infront of the door who are waiting for their names to be announced.

"Lady y/n of house l/n!" i thanked the man and stepped forward inside the hall wearing my lavish green silk ballgown and curtsied. Every woman stared me with envy, meanwhile men stared at me with lustful eyes.

This was normal since i was not betrothed to anyone at the moment and married men are taking advances with me to take me as their bride or mistress.

I greeted them respectfully but declined them, it was tiring. Honestly.

I found myself surrounded by women flaunting their riches at me. I wish I'd be deaf right now, it's annoying. You slipped away from them and took an glass of champagne from the table and walked towards the empty halls of the mansion just admiring the moonlight outside of the window. I flinched when i suddenly heard an loud thud near the empty grand staircase in the 2nd floor.

I walked towards where i heard the noise. You held your breath as you saw a young woman's body down the stairs, her head has pool of blood forming, and eyes in shock. I held my mouth as i saw the scene. I could not even move, i was frozen from my spot.

A man then appeared from the scene all dressed in black suit, long ash grey hair and glasses holding a scythe. I recognize that man! he was that peculiar guy from your mother's funeral that gave the locket!

He glanced at you but doesn't seem to care and just slashed the dead woman's body. I closed my eyes firmly at the sight. I took a bit of a peek, but instead of seeing a more bloody scenes it was different.

It was like a cinematic record, but not a movie---but someone's memories in their point of view. It continued on forever and ever until it reaches the end of the tape which has the word 'END' on it.

The reaper looks at you curiously "Why aren't you running away my lady?" he asks and folds the cinematic record neatly and put it into his pocket.

I was left speechless, am i going crazy?

"W-what just happened?" I gulped and he rests his scythe on his shoulders "I just reap people souls my lady, im what you called---death." he stated and grabs your waist swiftly and once you opened your eyes you were floating in the sky gracefully.

"Oh god! this is unsafe!" i screeched and held on to him tight not looking down on the ground since you're afraid of heights. A few moments in floating in the air you both landed on the ground.

He chuckled "Humans like you are really interesting, it's been a while Lady y/n~" he commented and kissed my hands, which made me blush. The man smiles at you and you two sat in an empty bench.

"w-WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" i asked, still in shock and shook the man, he started laughing "You just saw me doing my 'job' and flew!" h e replied.

I hold my head to process on what just happened, maybe i'm just too drunk? I asked him all of my questions on who, what, where, when and why---all of the possible questions. Well that lead to you to getting more interested in each other that birthed to friendship of a human and grim reaper.

Then a relationship a few months later.

You and Adrian are both happy with each other. Every after he finished his job you two would secretly meet up. He would tease you all the time and brought you on top of the big ben at London on a full moon to have a date. The man was also a clingy person who likes to see humorous stuff all the time. Even if he's not a normal person that doesn't stop you both, but this is the day you will finally introduce him formally to your father.

He was ecstatic and positive as you two both enter your manor to greet your father the Lord of house l/n.

"Father, meet my significant other Adrian."

Your father looked at him sternly and was silent, he just sat there and eat his roasted duck.

"F-father did you not he----." he threw the cutlery directly at adrian's face, making him bleed. The grim reaper did not flinched, not feeling any pain as the knife gashed his face leaving a slash "W-What have you've done!" i screamed as i took out my handkerchief and held it on his bleeding face.

"Did i not tell you to not go whoring off with lowly men like your slutty mother! YOU ARE A SHAME TO THE HOUSE OF L/N!" my father raises his voice making you flinch and your eyes swell up with tears.

"Y/n, i'm okay." the man stood up and frowns unamused "I can' t believe a man like you became my future wife's father." he says disappointed and held you close as his face was still bleeding.

"Future wife? are you joking!? Y/n you will get married to Lord Wallace in 5 months! are you crazy!?" father yells "I DO NOT WANT TO MARRY SOMEONE I DONT KNOW AND LOVE FATHER!" i retaliated and walked towards him sobbing.

Adrian stares at you in shock and pulled you away from your father who is forcing you to go inside your room.

"A-adrian...i don't want to marry someone else..." i sobbed in his arms and he clenched his jaw hugging you tightly. It was painful. I don't want this to end.

The last thing you knew was you two hugging on what seems like an eternity, you two both crying. He let's go of your hand and tried to chase after him but failed as your servants stop you chasing after your love.

He just walked away just like that. He just walked away on our relationship. He promised that he will come back after me. Determined. One week. Two weeks. Three weeks. Four weeks. turned into a month. Then five.

I found myself wearing my wedding gown holding a bouquet of white roses whilst emotionlessly walking down the aisle.

He promised that he will love me. He promised that he will marry me when the time comes. He promised that we will run away together. He promised...

It was painful kissing another man. Just get through it, and i imagined that my love was the one i was marrying. But it was harder than i thought. Disgusting. It was disgusting on how this man look at you like a doll full of lust.

'Ten years have passed. I still haven't gotten over my greatest love. I sometimes wonder on what if he came back to me. I'm turning 29 now, i have 2 boys now and a little girl whom i gave birth to just two months ago. Well, life was not easy, my husband was a good for nothing like my father who is a scandalous and greedy man who brought multiple women in our home. I still have hope that we will meet each other again.'

I closed my diary and hid it on my drawer. I hear my daughter, Adie crying in her crib. I quickly took her out from the crib and carried her to stop her from crying.

"Shhh, don't cry.." i kissed her rosy cheeks and laid her to the crib again admiring my precious child.

I sighed and went to get dressed to go to another soiree that my husband was at to accompany him "Lady y/n, your carriage is ready." the maid said behind the door. I grabbed my mink coat and went to the carriage.

It seems that it was raining heavily outside. I hope it's just rain.

"Mama where are you going?" your eldest son Andrew asks "Could we go with you mama?" Allan chimes in, my second eldest. I kissed their cheeks "I will go accompany your father at the soiree, my darlings. Children are not allowed."

They groaned and whined at your reply. You bid them goodbye and entered the carriage. Your husband was already inside and has his eyes glued onto the window, this was normal and doesn't even surprise you anymore.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier as minutes have passed. The carriage has entered the steep road on the way to enter the Druitt estate where the soiree will be held. It suddenly came into a halt when you the carriage stopped and the coachmen screamed in horror. I stared at the window and it was a group of masked bandits.

Wallace, my husband opens the window "Oi! why the fuck did you stop were going to be late!" he scolded the coachmen. Bang! Bang! the bandits shot the coachmen and footman. I held my breath and ducked my head, scared. I look over to Wallace and he was in fear.

The leader of the group comes over at my side "Lord Wallace eh? your wife is a beautiful woman!" he pulled your chin to your chin. I looked over at the man, disgusted while crying.

"H-how dare you kill Mr. Clark and jameson!" i raised my voice looking over at the bloody corpses of our two servants. "TAKE HER! SPARE ME SIR!" my eyes widened as my husband pushes me over at the bandit and took off with one of the carriage horses. I stared at the man in horror "Your husband really is a coward you know?" he chuckled and drags you outside of the carriage in the pouring rain.

BANG! The leader shot your husband through the head with his pistol. His body dropped dead on the mud and the horse he was riding gallops away into the forest.

"W-why? why are you doing this--" you felt a sharp pain in your chest as the man looks at you smirking and twisting the dagger in you. All you can see is blood soaked in your pink dress, the bandit snatches your jewelry in your body as you stared at him emotionless. He took out the dagger out of your chest and pushes you off the wet ground.

This is how will i die huh? What about my children.....my ambitions....my Adrian....i want to see him one last time..

"Y-y/n..." a familiar voice says. My eyes widened at the sight, i struggled to speak up words, i wish i could tell him how much i have missed him dearly, how i long for him.

He still looked the same as ever. Handsome, even with the scar your father left him in your face. I weakly flashed a smile at him as he hold me close in his embrace, sobbing.

"I....i-i....love..you..so...much..."

She speaks up holding his face, i leaned to him close and our lips met. For one last time on what seems like an eternity that you wished that could continue forever. The woman closes her eyes smiling peacefully as the cinematic record started playing.

He hugs her close sobbing under the rain angrily. He hates this. You and him were lovers, you were both forbidden to each other. If only he was a human.

-----------------------------------------------

I opened my eyes slowly "W-what happened?" i asked and turn to my friend, Samantha. She looks concerned at you "Y/n you collapsed at the 2nd floor, Mr. Brown found you and took you to the museum's clinic." Samantha sobbed and held your hand.

"I think im okay now, i want to go rest in the bus." i said and stood up from the bed, your friend nods and guides you to go back to your bus seat outside.

As you were going down the stairs Mr. Brown approaches you "Ah, Miss Y/N are you doing fine now?" he asks, i nodded and thanked him profusely for his help. He smiles devilishly and grabs something out of his pocket and gave it to you.

I looked at my hand. It was a locket, with a picture of you beloved and me.

"Memento mori, remember you must die."

A/N : I might revise this if i had the time, this was so rushed since i was so excited in posting these.

[b0rtney]

ALL im saying is if u gave me fuck u money i'd write a fanfic where, for some reason i will come up w later, katniss doesn't/can't volunteer for prim during the reaping.

so we get prim and peeta in the hunger games, hamish and effie coaching them as best they can. and prim is, ofc tiny and scared and like. 11 or whatever (i forgor ages), and peeta is like ":) ok new plan: make sure katniss gets her little sister back!" meanwhile hamish is like "do i even know a kind of self defense that works for someone the size of perhaps a small potato or large hamster????" and effie is like "oh dear lord. oh jesus. she's just solidly gonna die huh??? oh god i need a career change???" and prim, after the shock has worn off, is like "oh shit i have a sister (and mom ig) to get back to. i gotta live thru this."

so prim is like solidly understanding she's not winning against careers in combat. she focuses on any other skill she can get-- medicine to patch herself up, camouflage from peeta, shmoozing for sympathy points (with incredible success, bc she knows who she is and what she looks like), and once she meets the other tributes she manages to worm some useful info on a few things out of a few other tributes who r like "oh poor thing won't survive the cornucopia" and, most notably, she becomes besties w rue.

and so peeta plays his angle of "i just wanna get back to the girl i love uwu," but doesn't bring prim into it as katniss's sister v much bc he knows that would put a target on her back, he instead paints himself as this big ol' sap that'll be easy pickings (if you can find him) so it looks like district 12 just spat out some softies this year (everyone back home is preemptively mourning). maybe he drops one line abt "i will do anything to get prim home safe" w kinda a looking-directly-into-the-camera-kubrick-stare moment.

meanwhile prim is like "rue. bestie. it might be great for us to play our friendship to the camera a bunch? for ratings?? ppl send us things for free??" and rue is like "aight sure yea lets do it" so they do it-- and if my lesbian ass has her way maybe they have little tiny baby crushes and like. hold hands or somn. idk ceasar would play it up and soon we've got the whole capitol like 'THE BABIES OH GAWD NO' and so the star-crossed lovers thing still happens, but with prim and rue. the capitol loses it's shit, bc they're on the way younger side, with baby faces, who have been playing up how tiny and defenseless they are to anyone who will listen for clout and donations.

with a push from peeta/haymitch/effie, ceasar's little-babies-who-will-never-even-get-to-be-fully-in-love-bc-there's-no-way-they're-surviving-the-next-24-hours shtick for prim/rue gets spun wildly out of control before the games even start and suddenly the capitol is demanding the games be called off since "so many of them are so young!" at most extreme, or wondering if the minimum age for the hunger games isn't too young at most moderate.

district 13 was not ready for such a prime revolution moment to happen so quick, but they make the best of it in a somewhat disorganized way. They sway public opinion into spinning this story up, up, and away from capitol control, which eventually (through difficult to succinctly summarize PR bullshit) has everyone calling for snow to step down, and he can't very well use the cattleprods on the supposed upper crust, can he? not when every other district is already twitching for an excuse to revolt and has been for a while. so he 'gracefully' steps down (repercussions to be written in fic). district 13 is like damn they r fr handing us this one wtf.

coin(? i forgor names lol) is just barely too slow to neatly slot herself into power, bc now the capitol+districts is like "WE should get a say *insert democracy/anarcho-communism/republicanism/alt-govt.png*" idk maybe panem fractures into smaller govts that stop being affiliated w one country idk. i havent written the fic yet bc i dont have fuck u money.

what i DO know is katniss is honestly too involved in watching the games and subsequent bullshit to notice gale breathing, and peeta comes home w prim who is like 'can we go visit rue in the spring?' and katniss is like '....... u just restructured the govt...... sure yea wtvr' and peeta goes back to pining bc i just dont think he knows how to make a move when not on a death-related timeclock. maybe prim throws him a bone and wingmans him in there.

[rzyraffek]

If slashers interact regulalary, like as if going about more or less like rgeular people(but still slahsers of course :P), I am curious. Jamie Llyod, how would slashers interact with there buddies niece?Suddenly finding herself with a bunch of honorary "uncles"

Specific curisiotes include, Brahms, Jason, Bubba, both Scream guys(Billy and Stu), Leslie Vernon, and anyone else you might wanna toss in there if your happy to answer :)

AWWWW (i had to google Jamie Llyod cuz i thought you meant a guy from lego ninjago cartoon series and i was a little confused) Request open!!

Voorhees Jason

HE WILL BE SO SCARED PLS HE, HE CANT, HE CANNOT COMPERHAND

Accually he seems to be great with kids, he is just overthinking. If they go to shop together he wont be able to resist buying her whatever snack she wants!

He would rather pick her up and carry her around than to hold her hand because he gets distracted easly and he would just loose her in middle of forest

Jason will melt if jamie will say something along the lines "you are the best unlce ever!!" he will litteraly pass out and die

Jason and Micheal are besties so i can see them just hanging around and Micheal just randomly bringing her with him. just to chill and vibe. It would be very quiet vibe due to them being mute but it doesnt stop them from hanging out!

Billy and Stu! (tw to yall homophobes, this biches gay)

"ew a child..." "sup uncle Billy and Stu" "uhh look you are here only because Micheal made us baby sit you" "lol okay"

"I hate childen so much Stu :( " "Cmon its not that bad! She painted my nails!" "of course she did" "Also she said Im way better baby sitter than you!" "I- aint no way you are better than me"

This evening just turned into Billy and Stu trying to beat each other in "who is better uncle" competition

"Hey Jamie wanna see a scary movie :]" "cmon shes like 4" "im almost sure shes like 7 dude"

"I'm hungry im calling Micheal" "NONONO I- i mean why- we ordered fastfood! right Stu?" "uhh yeaahh, wait i just need to go outside for a, eeehh for an *runs to nearest fastfood to buy sometihng to eat*

they forgor that children accualy have to eat

they are so chaotic, they will fall asleep together (all 3) while watching Sponge Bob (Stu and Billy are secretly boyfriends btw i do not care that it has nothing to do with this headcanons, i just wanna inform you all)

"I know you guys are gay" " :O WHAT! I mean- who told you that! pfff some prankster probably" "I saw you hold hands! and thats what people do when they love each other! :3"(top tier sin)

Billy and Stu live together probably and their house is such a mess! its probably huge too, because Stu perents kinda rich. So i can imagine them loosing Jamie in middle of hause and then looking for her (shes goofy ah she will pretend they are playing hide and seek jsut to scare the shit out of them)

Heelshire Brahms

HE he would be so akward!!! Like "ehhh uhh hello child why are you in my house child, uhhh bloody hell" (Quick reminder that hes British and i will make fun of him)

HE WOUDL PROBABLY CALL MICHEAL "Uhhh Mr Micheal ur eeh your niece is here uhh can you like pick her up-" Jamie just standing behind hir "AAH-You, you wanna play scrabbles?" "ew no, can we play hide and seek" "Oh.My.God nevermind you can stay"

Micheal just comes to pick her up or something and Brahms with Jamie are already besties and they prolly made frienship braslets (and shit talk some people too)

okay ladies im back and i will write some more soon! pls comment and dont remember to like and subscibe and hit that bell button

tbh i dint have a lot of ideas (thats why Bubba isnt included i just had no clue what to write) but its good ig, and if i will find any people bullying stu/billy for being homosex i will steal ur steam account B)

x reader tags are only for more people to reach this post nothing sus here

[lokiinmediasideblog]

If i was in the marvel fandom in 2012 i would've been a major loki hater ngl. I started to warm up in the dark world. I know its controversial but i liked him in Ragnarok but then they killed him in infinity war im sfill mad abt

I like Loki a lot, and I liked him least in Avengers (2012). I watched the movies out of order at first (A1> T:TDW> Thor 1). I enjoyed him a lot in the Avengers, I was drawn to him because he's fun, but he also gave me second-hand embarrassment because he was just so arrogant yet got his ass handed to him(And I didn't know the backstory). I didn't think about Loki for a long time, until I watched T:TDW, where I fell head-over-heels for him. Without Loki, that movie would have felt like watching paint dry, so I felt especially grateful to Loki for that. That eventually got me to finally watch Thor 1. LOL. I enjoyed him in Ragnarok a lot, as well, and shipped him with Valkyrie, but I was not in the MCU fandom at the time (I was in another fandom). I am also still mad about Loki being killed off like that in IW!!!! Let's mourn!

Bear in mind I am biased towards antagonists and villains while reading this. This is my history of how I ended up obsessed with Marvel's Loki. And I am not sure if I should tag this post as "anti Thor" because I mention my extreme dislike of Thor from the past (and reasons). But I mention at the very end he grew on me. It's up to you if you keep reading.

The first time I saw Marvel's Loki, it was on a Hulk v. Thor cartoon on Netflix. Loki looks like an evil DILF in there. And Hela is a hot giant goth lady. I remember I googled norse mythology for the first time because up until then, I had thought "Son of the Mask" made up Loki, and I wanted to learn more about Hela (Hel). And I learned about Sleipnir and how hilarious myth!Loki was.

I found cartoon Thor annoying because he felt too perfect, and that's the kind of character that grates my nerves. And he survived thanks to a kiss from Amora, ugh, that's so dumb. I didn't go to watch Thor (2011) for the longest time because Thor just annoyed me because he felt too perfect and Gary Stu-ish in that cartoon.

And the comics I read at the time, specifically for Loki, made me dislike Thor more because they were like "Thor is the FUCKING BEST! AND ALL THESE SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN WANT TO FUCK HIM. BLEH BLEH. "(I was reading some omnibus by Matt Fraction on readcomicsonline). But I was more of a lurker in fandom, with no tumblr account, so I didn't express it.

And it annoyed me that some Marvel re-tellings of the myths (think it was Ages of Thunder) substituted Loki's cleverness (that saved him in the myths) for Thor being merciful or coming to the rescue. And they'd make Loki not only much eviler, but also dumber than in the myths when scheming and wprd-play is supposed to be his thing. Like, let Loki have something! You don't even have to write it because the myth you're adapting is there already! And ugh. Like no offense to anyone, but I don't really feel bad over Loki being so popular because those comics that existed for 5-6 decades annoyed the fuck out of me.

Also, at the time, a bunch of comic book nerds and dudebros would lose their shit over Loki's popularity. And Loki would be the subject of really fucked up homophobic jokes in parodies (*cough* The Key of Awesome).

Thor started growing on me in Ragnarok, IW (coolest Thor), and EG (EG!Thor is my fave because he's just so sad and I love sad men). And he was actually not Gary Stu-ish in Thor 1, I just didn't appreciate it at the time (unlike in other Marvel media). So I definitely like MCU!Thor way more than in many of his comics runs.

I also feel like I have different Thor and Loki preferences than most of the fandom, because I was a lurker and didn't interact with the fandom until 2022 and then making this blog, thanks to the Loki series bringing back my Loki phase.

[gaysexunfortunately]

something confessional 01.rtf

It’s been. I don’t know. Like two months sinc e I stopped taking wellbtrin. At one point this spring I just noticed my pill minder had like a 4 day backlog and I still felt fine as opposed to every other time I forgot my meds two days in a row and immediately wanted to kill myself. So I said fuck it and stopped taking wellbutrin. I made a deal with myself that I wouldn’t tell anyone for two weeks because I have a tendency to tell a bunch of people when I first start a project and then enver fllow through and it makes me feel like total shit and a fucking retard for ever saying anything. 

So like 5 days in I told Shannon that I had gone off the pills after consulting my psychiatrist and I couched it in that lie so she woulndt worry about me like she always does and I fucking hate it more than anything else when people WORRY about me. sinc e she thought I did it like a normal person would she was supportive which was nice and after that I don’t think I really said anything about it to anyone else for a while.

eventually I told my therapist who I don’t really like but I still keep seeing because I think people would be concerned if i stopped seeing her that I had gone off the m unsupervised or maybe I told the same lie because I just repeat the fucking lies I tell otherwise I know I’ll slip up and reveal the truth that’s behind all these small facades and diversins I maintain i n my everyday life for some fuckng reason so now she knows and the last person who doesn’t whwo “should” know is my actual psychiatrist who is some kind of hog from fenway health who prescribes me adderall which is the only drug other than estrogen I’m still taking.

I fucking hated taking the wellbutrin. and the hydroxyzine. and the folic acid. and my multivitamin. so many fucking pills just to make me function normal instead of lying in my bed all day thinking of creative ways I could paint my brains on a wall as a copiing mechanism for never being able to live up to the expectations I set for myself which is a problem costar predicted I had when I signed up for it recently. but I’d miss two doses in a row, or even one day’s dose, and 48 horus later I’d be horizontal, eyes fixed upwards, thinking about how it is not worth it at all to live a life where i have to take like six pills a day and inject shit into my thigh muscles once a week just to remain barely fucntional in the long run (adderall doesn’t count because it makes me feel like a god) and how I was going to have to do this routine for the rest of my life and every time i missed one pill I was going to have a day of feeling like this for the resto f my life.

im so fucking sick of seeing my therapist. i feel like ive done most of the work myself to get anything out of therapy which is probably to be expected because other people cant fix you but I feel like she hasnt even offered any ideas she just kind of mm-hmms me and sometimes tells me i forgot to zelle a copay and once every three months or so she brings up the time she was late to an appointment in 2019 and I tweeted “my therapist is 15 minutes late which is already making me feel a lot bnetter about myself” and I really wish she shouldn’t but much like flat out not going to therapy any more I don’t know how to tell her I don’t want to hear about that any more.

and im on cypionate so therapy days are injection days which keep my internal clock pretty steady all things considered.

I don’t think you’re supposted to stop taking 300mg of wellbutrin cold turkey because your seasonal affective wore off but it’s worked out well for me so far. im alot more tired lately and find myself sleeping a lot but that’s sort of eased up in the last couple months but I find myself constantly fighting the urge to sort of slip back into the depressed sorry state I was in from before I started taking antidepressants. I had a really good day yesterday where I saw like four different friends over the course of the day and I felt really good and today I felt like shit and now I’m in bed drinking johnny walker and writing this. 

I think I maintain a facade of white lies to keep everyone around me from asking if I’m ok. I hate it when people ask if I’m ok. I feel guilty if I express how I really feel and they get concerned for me so I just tell them I’m fine and I”m plugging along doing what a normal human being should be doing like filing job applications and practicing bass guitar but ost of my free time I”m jsut fucking sitting in my room killing time because I”m scared of trying something and failing. And I was cool with that feeling on wellbutrin because I didn’t really get depressed about ityou know. But now I’m off it and I am fucking terrified. maube it’s because I stopped taking the anti anxiety pills too but I have been holding back the urge to cry and fantazise aboutall the cool ways I could kill myself like I used to from like 2010-2022.

I’ve never cried in therapy or in front of anyone really. I don’t like to show that weakness because when I did in childhood my parents would blame it on each other look what you did, you made him cry so I just tell my therapist “I want to get my money’s worth haha” like I’ll tear up or stay quiet for a while but I’ve never really broken down and sobbed infront of anyone. when my boyfriend would stay for the night in like 2019 and I had to cry I’d go to the bathroom and weep into a folded towel so I wouldnt make any or too much noise. 

I really don’t want to start taking antidepressants again. it’s like a compressor and it flattens out all the highs as well as the lows. I’ve had some good moments in the time since I stopped taking them and I think now that Im not smoking a ton of weed any more I actually have perspective on when things are good and bad and how much time has passed between those points. but I think I’m going to cointinue to make not a lot of noise. I don’t want anyone to ask me if I’m ok. 

[possessesnightshift]

just over a year into it and already ai bullshit is essentially normal now.

not even probing into all the published research papers with clear evidence of ai in them (looking at you rat dick paper) or the fact that google images are now a bunch of ai generated nonsense, just seeing the way people talk about something like ai art is really discouraging

i see all these debates about why ai art is bad that boil down to "the problem isn't the artwork this person created, the problem is..." with that sentence being finished with either mentioning the unethical data mining or the environmental toll or whatever. but the problem is the very premise of that sentence is wrong no matter what goes at the end of it. if you type shit into a prompt and it spits out something that resembles a finished painting, you did not 'create' anything.

i want to go out of my way to emphasize that while the other bigger picture issues with ai are much more important than whether an ai "artist" deserves credit for their work, i still think it's entirely valid to say "ai art is also bad for letting people act entitled to the same praise and compensation as someone would have for literally painting the goddamn thing by hand."

"but what about the disability aspect? don't artists without fine motor skills deserve to be able to express themselves too?" im barely even going to entertain this line of defense simply for the implication that disabled artists (which i am btw, but not visual art) could not make art until 2023 is offensive to disabled artists throughout history, but also because it doesn't address my main problem with ai art either

a perfectly able-bodied ai artist is equally scuzzy to anyone else who solely relies on some OpenAI product to have any ability to create art. the problem isn't the fact that a computer is generating the art instead of brush or whatever. the problem is that there is NO ARTISTIC PROCESS.

you had no contribution to what the coders and programmers had to do to make ai art happen. you just benefit from their technology. but as a result of that, you allow their coding decisions to shape YOUR art. even if you rephrase the prompt over and over, you won't get the level of control necessary to create anything that isn't just regurgitated fluff. art isn't just a finished product. art is a feeling of inspiration that drives you to create. art is a way for humans to express truths beyond talking or writing about it. art involves imagining, listening, experimenting, and most importantly TIME.

it takes effort and practice over a non-instantaneous period of time to grow as an artist. and not only that, but that growth is THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT.

i could preach more about this but i think i've touched on my main idea here. at the end of the day, we're so brainwashed by capitalism that we don't even see the way we regard the things we love as mere products. art is supposed to take time. art is supposed to be not obvious. while it might feel like i just wanna shit on top of anyone who considers themselves an ai artist, i honestly feel really bad for these people. if the idea of creating art could move these people as profoundly as it moves me, they wouldn't even think about using ai. i know these people won't get nearly the same joy or fulfillment from typing words into a prompt and spitting out images. even if they did, they still have remarkably little control over how they engage with making their art (what if fucking all of the ai models get sued and taken down forever? then what?)

art is not something that can be bought or sold. people don't seek out art to connect to the process of making money in the most efficient way possible. they want a connection to humanity. wherever that connection exists, people will find it (even in art is that's considered Bad by society's arbitrary standards).

and oh boy is there no faster way to guarantee a piece of art has no connection to humanity whatsoever than to ask the shitty, dysfunctional chatbot troubleshooting your wifi not starting up to make ALL OF THE ARTISTIC DECISIONS for you.

[certifiedgoofball]

Okay Okay Okay I am going to rant here bc Honestly i can

I saw something about plurality that was semi-obviously written by a neurotypical about some people saying it really did not cause them distress and I was thinking (or one of the fnuuy men was saying, I really cannot tell) "of course being some form of multiple people in one body affects us greatly." And That got me like big brain thinky thinky

As a artist I often make sonas for myself. I do this VERY frequently for some reason I cannot pin down, but an issue I have ALWAYS HAD is pinning down my personality so I can give it to the sona. I've always had trouble pinning my personality down even before I even knew jack shit about plurality...or DID...or OSDD...or any of that stuff.

Honestly It should have been obvious. I got an idea for a drawing and like two seconds later after there was femboy on my fucking screen. I Understood that I drew it, It was my artstyle clear as day but for some reason I just did not remember the sketching, linearting OR the coloring I, for some reason, did not see this as an issue and I was like "Well I be danmed I do not remember doing this but it looks unfinished I will finish doing it!" (could have been a sign of some form of amnesia) (I think I have already told you this but i forgor so ima say it again)

I remember sitting on the bus one day going home taking some test for DID and I remember It said I was at risk. When I was suspecting myself of potentially being disordered I was like "Well I do not remember any SEVERE childhood traumas sooo idk if I am actually like yk yk" And to this day I still do not know.

IDK if I'm even disordered. Maybe due to the autism the whole like separate ego thing stayed, maybe this shit indeed hit me out of nowhere, Maybe It was that one Easter when I was like 4 where they were doing some godforsaken ritualistic thing where they made the kids dip their thumb/hand in red paint and put it on some construction paper cross that I was too scared to do that set the path. Maybe It was the entirety of pre school in a religious establishment that I only clearly remember the ritualistic easter thing from. I do not know.

Thank you for reading my useless rant and if you know any shi then give shi :3

(im not an expert at all, just a very autistic individual that likes researching disorders and whatnot. so dont take my words as fact) i have a few things to say. first of all, the lack of memories of trauma from your childhood could be caused by dissociative amnesia, or if you are a system, a different alter could be a trauma holder. trauma also doesnt have to be things like being physically abused, which is easily seen as trauma. a child's mind is very different to a teen or adult mind, and trauma can be made by a bunch of "little" things piling up and stressing out someone's mind too much. with your preschool being a religious establishment, there could've been a lot of "small" things that added up, or things that you don't remember as trauma, but still traumatized you in some way. having any personality disorder (especially cluster b pds which deal greatly with the sense of self) could make you feel like you dont have a pinpoint-able personality. ive heard from some people that they pinned down their change in personality to being a system, so much so that they fully believed that they were one, but it was identity disturbance. there are also things like p-did, where one alter is the active one, and full switches dont happen, but co-consciousness does happen, which can make the host feel like they have a different personality or are perceiving things differently because they're being affected by the other person in front. theres also median systems (im not sure if this is widely-recognized as a real thing, ive just heard about it) where someone feels like they're inbetween being a singlet and a system, or cant place themselves in either category properly. the femboy art does seem to be a lot like amnesia, but i genuinely cant say if it is or isnt, because im just some guy. overall, plurality has a lot of grey areas and such. what i would recommend is to just take time, dont pressure yourself, and try to do what makes you most comfortable.

[fagmegumi]

ok this got a few likes so i guess there’s interest so here it is. This definitely reflects my interest and bias so do ur own research! get lost in anilist’s really thorough filters! Get weird with it!

in no particular order:

- Lensman (1984) is the second ever anime to use CGI in a bit at the end where the protagonist gets lost in some kind of demonic cyberspace. The entire movie is on youtube and the bit im talking about (which is all ive watched lol) starts at 1:25:45

- Pop Team Epic (2018) if you havent seen it already uses a variety of mediums including different types of stop motion (with paper, fabric dolls, clay etc) to animate its shitpost sketches and its truly a delight

- Heike Monogatari (2021) looks like a traditional Japanese painting come to life. No surprises that its amazing since it comes from science saru, the studio savant director yuasa masaki (who will appear again on this list) established to experiment with bleeding edge technology.

- FLCL (2001) Look, you knew this was coming, i knew this was coming, we all knew this was coming. But come ON. this shit was made with 2d digital animation in the YEAR TWO THOUSAND and it STILL looks better than most stuff from today. do you even remember what computers were like in the year two thousand??? this is an anime KNOWN for being insanely creative with animation, famously letting all its animators do whatever they wanted in their scenes. some of the scenes weren’t even story boarded by the director. They animated MANGA PANELS for chrissake. they did a SOUTH PARK bit. i will not rest until all of my followers have seen this anime idc. just pick any moment from this video and its guaranteed to blow your socks off.

- the tatami galaxy (2011) if you haven’t seen this show WHAT are you doing. im not even gonna say anything ill just drop the trailer here and let it speak for itself.

- Pingpong the animation (2014) i know, i KNOW. an anime about ping-pong? but seriously, just LOOK at it. after tatami galaxy this is our third and final yuasa joint of the night. The man is a genius.

- akira (1988) you know this had to be on the list. im not even gonna drop the trailer because if you follow me theres no way you havent seen at least a gif of this movie. You’re welcome.

- sonny boy (2021) hey so do you guys remember this little anime, it was sort of popular a while ago, kind of niche, it was called “one punch man”? yeah so the guy who directed that basically did such a banger job that studio madhouse handed him a bunch of money and resources to write and produce his own original anime (NOT adapted from anything) and he made one of the great philosphical treatises of our times, no lie

- Keep your hands off eizouken (2020) i was really trying to keep this list free of links to cr*nchyroll yt but there are no other uploads of this scene and I really need you all to see it. Not only is this anime GORGEOUS, its story is really good, the humor is funny and the characters are SO endearing. Very much an “anime for people who dont like anime”, the girls have realistic (and therefore unusual) designs, theres not a bit of fanservice in sight, just a feel good story about three friends making anime for passion and fun.

- angel’s egg (1985) okay so theres not a lot of cel animation in this list and you may be thinking, hey m.a., dont you always say cel animation is your favorite kind (you insufferable hipster)? but theres a reason for that. Because of how time consuming cel ani is, most cel anime that I would consider visually appealing (eva, rgu, kite, etc) do so by using their resources very smartly and creating evocative, striking, atmospheric imagery through a mixture if photography and direction. some of the most memorable images in evangelion are barely if at all animated (the holding cell shinji misato and ritsuko alternatively end up in, the escalators down into the bowels of NERV hq, the infamous elevator scene, and of course the still of shinji in unit 01 holding kaworu). Tldr cel animation is VERY pleasing to the eyes when its actually animated (see akira) and its unique limitations push directors to be especially creative and talented (the opposite of whats true for digital but that’s another rant) but most cel animated stuff is… well its pretty and its nostalgic but its not technically impressive from a pure animation perspective. but there are some exceptions. lo and behold: the entire angel’s egg movie by visionary director oshii mamoru, on youtube dot com.

- mononoke (2007) this is another one where i dont even need to say much. Just LOOK at it. the fact that this exists is a marvel.

- samurai champloo (2004) HA! you thought i was gonna put bebop on this list didnt you? well jokes on you. one day maybe i will write my “champloo is better than bebop, YES really, NO im not just being a hipster” rant but that day is not today. the trademark watanabe swagger and swashbuckling and the inventive and brilliantly animated fight choreography that characterizes his stuff are in their full glory here. this truly feels like looking at a real life fight between swordmasters - youre legit gonna have to watch at .5x or go back a bunch of times to catch everything they do. its glorious. also i want mugen and jin to sandwich me who said that.

ok im kind of tired of typing and i think I managed to cover at least my favorites so heres some honorable mentions: panty and stocking, kill la kill regrettably plus trigger needs at least a little shoutout, devilman crybaby yes its good yes i stand by it you can fight me on this but it wont go well for you, mars red, bocchi the rock but you’ve probably already seen it, mob psycho if you havent seen this yet what are you even doing, sayonara zetsubou sensei but im warning you its very anime, urotsukidoji if you’ve got the stomach for it lol.

Maybe I should make a list of anime with good and interesting animation so more ppl can get taste lol

[nctexto]

.

[kynrki]

FAST AND FURIOUS: LOVE EDITION — yang jungwon

PAIRING — nonildol!yang jungwon x fem!reader

SYPNOSIS — the king of drag racing suddenly falls for the girl who surprisingly beat him.

WARNINGS — fluff, talks about parents abandoning children, kisses, jus jungwon being cute and smooth

WC — 2.4k

AN — part two is long overdue😭😭

part one | part two

the past few weeks, you’ve been working on your pink 1994 Toyota Supra MK IV Supra. getting its paint job done, which you absolutely loved, and adding in its finishing touches. you rolled out from underneath the car as you heard your phone go off.

you check you phone and saw a message from jungwon came through. you smiled. you would be lying if you said the boy didn’t make you smile whenever you thought about him. he really knew how to wow a girl, if one could say, and it was ironic considering how you didn’t want anything to do with him in the beginning.

“hello?” you said as you put the phone by your ear. “hey baby” jungwon said as he smiled. he loved listening to you talk. “what you up to?” he continued. “nothing much, i jus put seobi to sleep, so im working on my car right now. what about you?” you said as you crossed your arms and leaned against your tool table. “car? you working on something baby?” he asked as he sat up. “yeah, i’ve been working on it for a while now.” you replied. there was silence. “can i come see?” he asked after a while. “sure, let me know when you’re outside” you said. “okay” he replied and switched off the phone.

to say you were nervous was and understatement. he’s never been to your home area and you haven’t been to his. and to top it all off, he was definitely far richer than you would ever be, so him coming over was alot. you heard a car pull in your driveway and already knew it was jungwon. you opened the garage as he climbed out the car. he walked in and took you in for a moment.

you were wearing your normal comfortable clothes, jus like he imagined. instead this time you were wearing a pair of dirty overalls with your grey hoodie. your hair was tied up in a bun and lastly, you were wiping the oil from your hands on a cloth. he loved whenever you looked comfortable and domestically. (or in other words, always). “hi” you smiled as you walked up to him. he smiled as he brought you in for a hug. the faint scent of your natural smell covered him in warmth.

you pulled away from the hug and laughed softly. “sorry, i don’t normally clean up when im at home” you said as you looked down at your attire. jungwon smiled. “i dont care how you look when you’re around me, i jus want you to be comfortable baby” jungwon smirked and wrapped his arms around your waist. you got flustered.

“u-uh, this way” you said trying to get away from him. jungwon chuckled as he knew already.

you lead him into your house as he took a look around. it felt like…..home? it wasn’t very big and definitely didnt have many rooms but it felt very homey and very you. you continued walking behind you through the back door and into your working area. there he saw the iconic blue nissan. next to it was the 2006 mitsubishi lancer eveloution XI, and lastly the 1994 Toyota Supra MK IV supera. which was bright pink.

“holy shit” jungwon said as he looked at the cars with his jaws dropped. now, as someone as rich as him, you might think that he’s into those super new nice luxurious cars, but no, he was into those old type of cars. exactly the ones you have. “have you been working on all of them?” he asked curiously. he had to know. he’s already so in love with you, that whether you say yes or no, he wont mind. “yes” you replied as you walked towards the toyota supra.

“so how’d you get all these cars?” he asked as he followed you. “well the 2006 mitubushi i got as my very first car. my uncle gave it to me so i started playing around with it and working on it. the nissan skyline i would say was my very first car that i had built. she’s definitely my favourite out of the bunch. and holds a special place in my heart. and at the moment im working on the toyota supera which is the newest to my collection. i picked it up at a car crash place and ive been working on it ever since. you said as you continued where you left off on working on it.

jungwon stood in awe as he watched you. he couldn’t believe you were real. “hm i see, now why do you race?” he asked as he walked to the hood of the car, where you were standing. you tensed at the question. “i dont wanna talk about it.” you said coldly as you carried on working in the hood. “okay its no worries baby” jungwon said concerned as he put his hand on your waist and rubbed the spot. he was standing behind you as he leaned down to see what the problem was. “your alternator is dead, thats why your car wont start.” he said as he looked at you. “come look here” he continued.

you leaned down to see. “your cables are damaged, you can either fix them or get a new alternator which would be cheaper.” he said as he looked at you. your breath hitched as you turned to look at him. your faces were a fee centimetres apart. you saw how his eyes went from yours to your lips and back up. he leaned him slightly as you straightened your back to stand straight again. “t-thank you” you said as you looked down. “anytime, i gotta go tho, call me if you need anything okay?” jungwon said as he check his phone. “yeah i will” you smiled as you continued to look down.

he brought his hand up to your chin and raised it. “my eyes are up here baby” he said as he made eye contact with you. you blushed and nodded. he left a quick kiss on your cheek and left. you stood there frozen for the next few minutes, not being able to comprehend what jus happened.

once jungwon reached home, he pulled his car in and softly went to his room. before he could reach his door, he was met with 6 other guys sitting in the living room, waiting for him. “where have you been jungwon?” jake asked. “i was at yns” he replied as his cheeks started to blush. “yn?” sunghoon asked for confirmation. jungwon nodded. “okay, you can go” sunghoon smirked as he knew jungwon knew that tomorrow morning they had to talk about it. “cmon man we-“ jake said before he was interrupted. “im tired” sunghoon said as he walked off, leaving an annoyed jake behind.

the next morning couldnt have come faster. jungwon woke up and rubbed his eyes. he yawned as he climbed out of bed and walked towards the kitchen where he knew heeseung would be. “morning” heeseung said as he smiled. “morning” jungwon said back as he took his tea and walked out back to the couches.

“morning jungwon” sunghoon said as he smirked as the younger boy. “morning sunghoon” he said as he laughed slightly. “tell me everything” sunghoon said.

after jungwon had explained what happened, sunghoon was staring into the distance. “jungwon, she likes you. and you like her too.” sunghoon said. “well i know i do, but i dint know what to do, should i ask her out? or-“ jungwon said as he got interrupted. “ask her out. but im warning you, if you do end up dating her, you need to keep her private and safe. you know everyone out here in this world is coming at you, and if they know yn’s your weakness, they’ll take it to their advantage. think this through okay.” sunghoon said as he smiled at jungwon before walking off.

he left jungwon to think. was it worth it in the end? i mean yes he was absolutely head over heals for you, but at the end of the day, danger would increase and that isn’t something he wanted. he sighed as he looked down at his cup.

he took his phone out from his pocket and made his decision. he went to your contact and dialled your number. it took a few rings before you picked up. “hello?” you said as you sounded as if you jus had woken up. “yn go on a date with me?” jungwon asked as his bit his lip in anticipation. “when?” you asked after a while of silence. “tomorrow night? i’ll come pick you up at 6pm” jungwon said as he tried to hide his smile. “sure” you replied. “okay bye” he said before hanging up. he definitely wouldn’t regret this.

getting ready for your date with jungwon was, complicated to say the least. yes you wanted to impress him but you also wanted to be comfortable. you oped for baggy jeans with a skin tight top, to create the baggy-pants-tight-top look.

you were nervous, even more when you heard a familiar car pull up to your garage. you opened the door and there stood jungwon, with flowers in his hands? “these are for you” jungwon said as he smiled at you. you smiled and thanked him before putting it away.

“ynnie!” jongseob called as he ran towards you with one of his legos. you looked at jungwon, but he was already focused on your younger brother. “hey bub? whats wrong” you asked as you bent down to his level and rubbed his head. “can you open this for me pls” he asked you as he handed you the lego packet that was inside the box. “i gotchu.” you said as you took it from him and opened it.

“ynnie, whos that man?” jongseob whispered to you as he pointed at jungwon. you smiled and answered “hes my friend”. “will i be seeing him more” he asked softly. “hm lets hope so” you said as you looked at jungwon and smiled. you gave jongseob a kiss on his cheek and told him to go inside. you stood back up and faced jungwon once again.

the little interaction made jungwons heart swell with awe. the way you were so careful and soft with him made him happy. he walked to the passenger side of his car and opened the door for you. “here you go my lady” he said teasingly. you laughed and thanked him before he climbed into the drivers side.

“where are we going?” you asked as you leaned on the centre console slightly. “well i was thinking, since you won me, and is always continuing to win me, i want you to teach me things” jungwon said as he pulled into a racing ground. you looked around the place as you two entered it in awe.

“wait me? for real?” you asked shocked. “yes baby who else?” he said as he parked the car. he climbed out and walked around to open your door for you to climb out. this was the first time you could properly look at jungwon. he was wearing his black converse, paired with loose green cargos and a black hoodie. a bit different from his normal attire he normally wore at racing events.

jungwon grabbed you hand and pulled you to the car garage, where all the cars stood. “choose anyone love” he said as he switched on the light. your jaw fell open. “me?” you said as you pointed at yourself. jungwon laughed and nodded his head.

looking around, all the cars were beautiful yes, but none had caught your eye. that was until you saw the bright green 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse. you dragged your hand over the car and opened the door. you looked at jungwon, and he nodded for you to climb in.

he watched as your eyes lit up upon seeing the green car. odd colour? maybe. but to see you like that? he would do anything. jungwon walked to get the car keys and gave them to you. you started the car and revved it several times and smiled widely. “cmon get in pretty boy” you yelled at jungwon and laughed. he shook his head and climbed into the car.

after driving around with jungwon for a while and showing him a few new tricks he could use when he drives, he took you to a mountain view. it was so beautiful, especially in the night with the moon shining above you two.

“thank you so much, for that and this” you said as you looked at the city in all its glory. “no thank you” jungwon said as he laughed slightly. “i really enjoyed today” you said as you looked at him smiling. he smiled back. you smile dropped as you looked back forward.

“hey whats wrong?” jungwon asked as he moved to sit closer to you. “i jus- i wish i could give jongseob the best out there you know” you said as you looked at the moon. jungwon was silent, waiting for you to continue. “our parents left us when we were younger. they were out of money, and couldn’t afford to look after us. it was nice of them to atleast leave the house we have at the moment but thats all. i dont know where they are right now, and i dont wanna know. i honestly couldn’t care less about them” you said.

jungwon grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. “im sorry baby” jungwon said softly. you looked at him. “i know its hard, but you’re doing so well for him. i can see how much he loves his big sister. your doing this without any help, but now im here for anything really. i’ll always be by your side” jungwon finished as he saw a tear drip down your cheek. he took his free hand and wiped your cheek. “dont cry baby” jungwon said as he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

“i think i love you” you said after a while of silence. “you do?” jungwon asked smiling at you. “mhm” you hummed and looked at him. “i love you too baby, so much” jungwon said as he leaned in to kiss your lips. the sweet kiss didnt last long but you wanted it to. “be mine baby?” jungwon asked as he leaned away. “i will if you kiss me again” you said as you smiled sweetly at him. “anytime” he said before leaning in again to kiss your lips, longer this time.

permanent taglist! @soobin-chois @enhacolor @anotherimaginesaccount @hiqhkey @lil-iva @hearteyes4khloe @sunoo-bby @seung-scrittore @strwberrydinosaur @deeznutsriki @lvepsh @ahnneyong @love-4-keum @kpoplover718 @nvertheless @02sjy @luvcyb3r @koufiles @w3bqrl @palajae @cowstiddymilk @bigtoewinwin @wtfhyuck @abdiitcryy @pshchives @kimmchijjajang @todorokiskitten @trsrina @shinsou-rii

an — pls i need me a jungwon fr

[hyuckssunchip]

Reputation

Pairings: Johnny x Reader, ft. nct 127

Words: 4.3K

Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), angst, some fluff

Request:  Angst 42 and 48 ➵ “You promised.” “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.” / @jungcherie​

(im so sorry i took so long.... i turned a drabble into a story... oops)​

Johnny Suh had a reputation that was unmatched.

There was no other way to put it.

And a reputation like his left trails of tears.

A pool of tears that you were currently drowning in.

It was obvious Johnny was dangerous, perhaps that’s why you were drawn to him. While every single one of your instincts had you fighting and rejecting him, you were desperate for him all the more.

It was March 13th that you lost your first will.

“Y/N, right?”

You turned around to find a familiar face towering over you.

“Yeah.” 

It was that stupid smile that had you. 

“Hey, we have have Communications together. I was wondering if you wanted to do that project together?” He scratched the back of his neck like he was embarrassed. “I just know that you’re insanely smart so... Sorry, wait, that sounds like I’m just talking to you for your grades.”

You giggled nervously, a habit that you did when you were uncomfortable.

“Look, I just... do you? You know, wanna do the project together? I mean, I’m a pretty smooth talker so I can do the presentation. I get good grades too...”

Stupid smile.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. There’s actually a little party at my frat tonight, you maybe wanna come? Get to know each other before we drown in work?” 

Fucking stupid smile.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” You blushed at the idea, cursing at yourself for being so obvious. 

Parties weren’t really your thing. 

But at the time Johnny Suh was.

Your ears were pounding because of the insanely loud level the music was at. You were actually shocked that no one had called the cops with a noise complaint, but the fact that they were on frat row made more sense.

“Y/N. You made it.” A arm was flung over your shoulder and, thankfully the lights were both dim and flashing enough that he couldn’t see the way that you blushed at the action.

“Yeah. Is it always this loud?” You asked, still not so comfortable with the atmosphere.

“What?” Johnny yelled, pointing at his ear, indicating that he couldn’t hear you. Of course he fucking couldn’t. Then he jerked his thumb to the right, nodding at the backyard, which was seemingly empty.

With his hand placed on your back, he guided you outside, your head already thanking him from the escape of noise pollution. It was far better outside of the house.

The two of you collapsed onto the swinging chair, sighing as you cleared your head.

“So parties aren’t really your thing?” Johnny leaned closer, noting the look of relief that you had donned the moment you exited.

“It’s not that I hate them... I’m just not a fan. I mean a bunch of sweaty, horny drunk people grinding on each other. I just like smaller things.” You explained, staring up at the dark sky, shivering slightly at the cool breeze.

“You didn’t have to come.” Johnny suddenly looked guilty, “I didn’t mean to force you into coming, I just... thought I’d invite you.”

You quickly backtracked, “No, you didn’t force me. If I didn’t want to come, I wouldn’t have.” You ignored the voice in the back of your head that begged to differ.

“Right.” He grinned, as if he could read your mind. “You’re not great at lying, but I’m gonna pretend that I believe you.”

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Were you playing beer pong?” You asked suddenly, causing him to look at you in confusion.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

You laughed, looking away from him, “You have quite the reputation Mr. Suh, even someone like me knows the extent of your skills.”

Johnny smirked, liking how easy you were making it for him. “Is that so? Is that the only skill of mine you’ve heard about?”

You raised your eyebrows, hating the turn that your mind took. “W-what kind of other skills did you have in mind?” You stuttered out.

Suddenly it felt like you were caged in, his arms tense around your frame, causing you to lean back against the back of the swing.

“Tell me what you’ve heard.” 

You averted your eyes, unable to take his heavy gaze. His eyes had turned dark, full of lust, and you tried desperately to forget the effect they were having on you.

As if sensing how uncomfortable you were getting, he backed off, dusting off some invisible dirt on his shoulder. He cocked his head to the side with a sly smile, happy with a new challenge. 

Things weren’t going to be as easy as he thought they were, but that’s what made it fun.

“No that’s so stupid. Are you kidding me? Robin could absolutely never beat Batman. Is that even a question?” Your hands were waving animately, far too much for an argument about fictional superheroes.

“Sure. I’m just saying that Robin could totally catch him off guard, like out of the blue, you know.” Johnny slurped on his drink shrugging his shoulders like he didn’t care. 

“No. Absolutely not. First of all Robin doesn’t have the guts to do something like that and second of all Robin doesn’t have any powers. How on Earth would he beat him?”

“Umm... Batman doesn’t have powers either.” He made a duh face at you, which you chose to ignore.

“Yeah, well he’s got money, and that’s basically a super power.”

“Let’s be real, Batman isn’t even really a real superhero. He’s just a hero. Period.” 

You huffed, rolling your eyes at the argument. “That’s a whole different story.”

“I’m just saying.” He sang back teasingly.

“And I’m just saying that this is stupid. How did we even get here?” You laughed, trying to remember how this conversation came about.

“Uh, you made the bold choice of saying that the Batman vs. Superman movie was shit. Very controversial by the way.” He frowned at the memory.

You let your bag fall heavily on the library table, earning you a few glares as studying students dug into their books.

You sent an apologetic look before sliding into your seat. “Let’s just get this presentation done. Our presentation date is the 23rd and I don’t even have a clue of what to write it on.”

“Well the topic is influencers that change your life. Do you have anyone in mind?”He asked, flipping through his notebook, which didn’t really have anything but drawings in them.

“Not really, is there anyone for you? I mean influencer is kind of vague isn’t it? We could pick like an athlete too, or a musician. Those are technically influencers right?”

He nodded, resting his chin on his hand. “Yeah. Influencers don’t even have to be famous do they? Like they can just be someone in your life that made a huge impact on you. Like your parents or something.”

“Yeah, I guess. But that’s kind of hard when you’re working in groups. Like you’re not gonna want to talk about my grandma, you know. Like you don’t even know her. It’s probably just easier to use a famous icon.”

“Okay, so who?” He leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling like it would give him inspiration. 

“Hmmm... maybe we could do someone like Michael Jackson. Like he may not have affected us personally, but he affected the way that the music and performance was seen afterwards. That’s influential and life changing right?”

“I guess.” He cocked his head, “We could at least start with brainstorming ideas for him and then if we feel like it’s not working we can change it.”

“Cool. I guess we can start with that then.”

And you did. You spent every afternoon for the next week and half with each other in the library, and a little more outside of it.

“That one’s the big dipper.” 

You grinned following his finger, but had more difficulty finding exactly what he saw. 

“How do you know it’s not the little dipper?” You teased, squinting in to the dark, the scattered stars really just looking like paint splatters to you.

“Because that’s the little dipper.” He laughed, moving his index finger slightly to the right.

“Oh.” 

Johnny leaned back into your space, smiling at you look of concentration quickly falling as you gave up.

“Where’s the North Star?” You asked turning to face him, but sucking in a harsh breath when you found your nose just centimeters from his. 

Johnny lowered his voice, whispering and pointing without even turning away, “Right there, it’s the tail of the little dipper.”

It took more effort than you thought to pull away, eyes searching for it.

He leaned back, resting his body weight on his hands. “See it? It’s the brightest one.”

“No,” You pouted scooting forward, as if that would help you see it. “Oh, wait! I see it!”

Johnny couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he saw your face light up.

“Wow.” Suddenly your tone turned more mellow, still in awe. “I’ve always wanted to find the North Star.”

Johnny’s chest rumbled with laughter. “Why?”

“Well you know. They say if you get lost, just follow the North Star home.” You turned to face him, eyes sparkling with excitement, but the sound of your voice had gone quiet, almost somber. The smile on your face faded into a sad smile as you all but whispered your next words. “Now I can go home.”

Johnny frowned next to you, not liking the sudden turn in mood. He sat up, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you against his chest.

“What makes you think that you’re not home right now?” He mumbled on the top of your head, staring straight out in the dark.

“I don’t know. I can just feel it, you know? Like I’m just constantly uneasy.” You sighed, digging your face into his jacket. “I think I’ll be able to tell when I get there.”

There was something in Johnny’s chest that suddenly ached, and he felt a sharp drop in his stomach at the thought.

“Maybe you’ll only ever know once you’ve left home.” He muttered, “Then you’ll know that this is actually what it feels like, and it’s so much worse when you leave.”

You stilled against him for a moment before relaxing, mulling over the thought. “That’s so sad though. Why do we only know we’re happy once we’re sad?”

Johnny shook his head slowly. “I don’t know. Why does God make us hurt to only to help us heal?”

The sound of the wind passing through trees was the only thing that comforted you at the thought.

“I don’t want to have to heal, I don’t want to hurt in the first place.” You whisper out, feeling the most vulnerable you had in a long time.

“I’ll never hurt you.” He rubbed at your arms soothingly, feeling a lump in the back of his throat, but he pushed it away not liking the unfamiliar feeling.

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

You let your eyes fall, enjoying just the silence and comfort of each other’s arms and minds.

You woke up wrapped in Johnny’s arms, although it was an unfamiliar feeling you welcomed it with open arms. 

Lost in your thoughts for the time being you were suddenly reminded of the conversation you had a couple nights ago. 

Was this home?

You had never felt so safe before and it scared you. But you weren’t one to run.

“Good morning.” Johnny mumbled out beside you, his morning voice raspy to the ear.

“Morning.” You whispered back, letting his arm flop over your waist.

“Do you like pancakes?” He asked, letting his eyes fall close again.

“Pancakes?” 

“Yeah. Taeyong makes some bomb ass pancakes.” 

You giggled, “Yeah, I like pancakes. Especially bomb ass pancakes.”

But he didn’t move and it was only after you tapped him questioningly did he speak up. “Do you think he’ll bring them up if I yell loud enough?”

You smacked his chest. “Stop it. We should go down.”

“In a bit.” He answered, nose buried deep in the crevice of your neck.

A few minutes later you heard the clinking of kitchen tools from downstairs and you stirred. “Johnny?”

“Hmmm...”

“Johnny. Let’s go.”

“Five more minutes.” He mumbled, but he let you out of his grasp anyways.  

“Fine. I’ll meet you downstairs.” You paused as you passed by the mirror, eyes tracing over the marks on your neck that Johnny had left the night before. You blushed, realizing that you didn’t have anything to cover it up with, but quickly moved on, attempting to find your shorts that were discarded in the frenzy of last night.

“Check under the desk.” Johnny said, sitting up and watching you.

Sure enough that’s where they were, although you weren’t really sure how they managed to get there. 

You shrugged on the last of your clothes, turning to find Johnny doing the same. It took him less than three steps to get to you, landing a soft kiss on the top of your head. 

“Let’s go.”

Taeyong was undoubtedly the closest of Johnny’s frat brothers to you. He had this really calming and sweet aura about him that just made you want to be friends. 

“Good morning Y/N. Blueberry or chocolate?” He asked grinning as he took his eyes off the pan for a second. 

“Blueberry please.” You slid onto the bar across from him. “Do you need any help?”

Johnny rubbed your lower back comfortingly, “No, you don’t want to get in his way. That’s when he loses his temper.” He whispered the last bit to you, but Taeyong obviously heard it, sending a sharp glare at him.

“Only when there are incompetent people in my kitchen.” Taeyong muttered back.

Johnny ignored the comment, shaking his head at you, “I’ll have chocolate.”

“You’ll get what you get.” Taeyong piped at him, still not over Johnny’s teasing, who grinned in response. 

Both of them knew that Johnny was getting chocolate, Taeyong was really bad at being mean.

“Where’s the others?” Johnny asked, sipping on a cup of coffee.

“At school, as they should be because they are college students.” Taeyong answered, sliding a plate towards you. “Enjoy.”

You thanked him and bit into a piece, almost moaning at the taste. “Damn, Johnny told me they were good but I didn’t think it would be this good.”

Johnny swiped a piece from your plate. “What are you talking about? I told you he made bomb ass pancakes.” 

Taeyong slid a plate towards Johnny.

His grin widened. “Thank you. You’re my favorite Taeyong ever.”

“I’m the only Taeyong you know.” He put his hands on his hips. “I should be the favorite.”

Johnny sent a wink in his direction before stabbing a piece. 

“So I was thinking, that little bakery next to the park, do you wanna go? They just opened and I’ve been dying to try it.” Johnny asked around a mouthful of pancake.

“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.” You felt your stomach flutter, you were sure whether it was the pancakes or Johnny, but you had a pretty good guess. 

“Sweet, we can swing by your place first if you want to get a change of clothes or something.” 

You nodded, “Yeah, sounds good.”

“I’m glad that sounds good.” He teased you with a smile.

“Sorry, but it just sounds good. What else do you want me to say?” You pushed back, opting to add another piece into your mouth.

“I don’t know, maybe-”

“Okay, sorry to interrupt your little flirt fest, but can you start that after I leave?” Taeyong asked, making a few pancakes for himself.

“Sorry.” You giggled, sending him a genuine apologetic look.

“I’m not sorry.” Johnny said, shrugging.

You smacked him lightly.

“I’ll take away pancake privileges for a month.” Taeyong quipped, focusing on flipping the pancake.

“Sorry.” Johnny mumbled out under his breath, not one to admit defeat easily.

You laughed at the sight of a pouty Johnny, enjoying the view for the time being.

Waiting for Johnny had become a routine, but honestly you didn’t really mind it. Hanging out on the couch, you had met and befriended quite a few of his frat brothers. 

Currently you were sprawled out on the couch with Jungwoo, who was retelling a very interesting story about his trip to the grocery store last week that involved a cereal box and a banana. Although it was a bit of a reach, you nodded and smiled at the right times, not really following the order of events, or really the importance of them.

“What does the fact that you were wearing- and I quote - ‘an incredibly sick pair of joggers’ have anything to do with your story?” You asked, tilting your head in teasing confusion.

“Oh, it doesn’t. I just thought you should know.” He replied matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Right. And I’m so better off now that I know.” You taunted him, voice dripping in sarcasm.

Jungwoo shot you an annoyed, and yet hurt look, before finishing his story. “And that’s how Johnny found out he was allergic to shellfish.”

“Okay. What the fuck? I’m literally so confused.” You cut him off before he could recount his story again. “I don’t really need to hear it again though. Thanks.”

He whined before laying his legs over yours, giving up.

For a few moments, things were quiet as you checked the time. It had already been thirty minutes, where was he?

You rolled your head to the side, finally focusing on the whiteboard that had what scribbles of writing over it. 

“What’s the tally for?” You asked, scrunching your nose at the whiteboard that was situated on the far wall of the room.

“Hmmm? The tally?” Jungwoo glanced around looking slightly nervous which had you even more curious. “It’s just a game.”

“Game? What game?” You laughed turning back to see the strikes adorning the board. “It looks like Johnny’s winning.”

“Uhh...” Again with the nervous glances.

You giggled, “You’re losing, aren’t you?” The spot under his name had the fewest tallies and you figured that’s why he was being so shy about it.

Jaehyun entered the room, seemingly in a very important conversation by the way that he was speaking animatedly.

“The game’s over on Friday and Johnny’s gonna win.” 

“That’s so stupid. He hasn’t bagged any since Y/N, how is he still gonna win?” Yuta complained all but scowling at the floor, neither of them had yet to notice your presence.

You frowned at the mention of your name, not liking the term ‘bagging’ to be in such close proximity with your name.

“Oh, Mark has a new strike, looks like he finally got Claire into bed.” Yuta continued snorting, “Took him long enough.”

“Wait, what the fuck? How the hell did Taeyong get two strikes?” Jaehyun, squinted at the board.

Yuta snorted, “He had a threesome last night. Can you believe it? This close to the end? It’s like he’s actually trying to compete now.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You muttered, effectively catching their attention.

“Y/N.” Jaehyun breathed out, eyes wide and darting between you and Jungwoo who was obviously trying to get them to stop talking. “Hey... what’s up? When did you get here?”

“Ummm.... no. What the fuck is going on?”

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun cocked his head, doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t panicking.

“No, I don’t want your bullshit. Just tell me what this game is.” You were using anger to hide your fear. You could feel the pounding of your heart in your head, a throbbing sensation that gave way to a sinking feeling of realization. 

At that moment, when his eyes finally met yours. Not Jaehyun’s, not Yuta’s, but Johnny’s as he walked in the room with that fucking stupid smile you felt your last will got out the window. It was at that moment that everything came crashing down. 

“Y/N, please can’t we just talk?” Johnny chased after you, begging you to turn around.

“You promised.”

Johnny’s heart dropped at your words, and his chest started closing in in fear. The burning feeling in his throat had him choking, panicking in belated realization.

It wasn’t just the words that you said, it was the way that you said it. So defeated, so broken. So betrayed.

“You promised that you wouldn’t hurt me. Do you remember that? Did you even mean that?” You felt the tears brimming, and you fought the best you could to keep them down. But your wobbling voice let him know.

“Of course I meant it.” He answered breathlessly. “You know me, I don’t say things that I don’t mean.”

“Do I? Do I know you?” You huffed out. “Because I really thought you were someone different.”

“No, I- I’m still me. I’m still Johnny. I just...”

“You just what? You just lied about our entire relationship? If it was even that, because I was just another tally to you wasn’t I? Just another tally on a stupid whiteboard for a stupid game.” 

You choked back the tears that were burning in your throat, not bothering to wipe at the ones that managed to escape.

“You know what hurts the most? I actually thought you liked me. I actually thought that you meant all those things that you said to me.”

“I did mean it. I meant every single word, and I still do. Nothing was a lie, my feelings were real. Please just listen to me, I can explain.” He stepped closer, but you took a step back, keeping the distance.

“Explain what? I already heard everything for myself. What are you gonna say, that Jaehyun and Yuta were lying? Hmmm? That it wasn’t a game? That that’s not the reason that you approached me?”

“I...” He couldn’t find any words, because you were right. Every single word that you said was right. He struggled to catch his breath, panicking. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

“I love you. I need you. I can’t- I can’t imagine life without you.”

“That’s not enough.” You clenched your jaw, face going slack. It was as if you were losing the will to even be heartbroken over this.

“Please, I-I’ll do anything, what do you want me to do?” He begged, eye brows nearly touching as they furrowed.

“I don’t want anything from you, just stay away from me.” You mumbled out, avoiding his eyes.

“Baby, please.”

“Don’t fucking call me that, I’m not yours, I never was.” You snapped at him, backing away.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled under his breath and he wasn’t sure if it was meant for you or himself.

“So I’m kinda going rogue here. I know you already hate me, but try not to hate me anymore than you already do.”

Johnny didn’t look anywhere except for you.

The professor seemed to humor him, allowing one of his favorite students to continue with an amused smile on his face.

You on the other hand did not. 

You stared at Johnny with a straight face, trying your best to not look flustered.

“The whole point of this assignment was to find someone that changed our lives. But my partner and I struggled to find someone. It’s not that we didn’t have great people around us, its not even that we don’t have people that we admired. It was because no one we came up with really seemed genuine to us. But I found someone. I finally found someone that I could trust, that I let in. But I did something really stupid and fucked it up- excuse my language.”

You watched him stand behind the podium, looking smaller than he ever did.

“You know, before I met you I didn’t think that my life needed changing. I thought I was doing just fine. But then I realized that I wasn’t. I was struggling to even feel normal, to feel like I was living for something. Y/N you helped me find home. Remember when I said that you only understand that you were already home until you lose it? Well I feel it now. And it feels like shit.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, a feeling in the back of your throat burning.

“Y/N. You’re the person who changed my life. And I don’t even deserve that. But I’m here, standing in front of you like a fool because I’m whining about losing the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

For a moment you thought he was done, because the silence was deafening.

“Even if you sill hate me after this, I want you to know that you mean more to me than anything else. You are the person that changed my life. You are my person, and I want so badly to be yours.”

There was a beat of silence as he ended abruptly, taking a seat on the other side of the room, eyes still locked on you.

Your professor stood up with a clap. “Well, thank you Johnny for that... interesting presentation.” A wide smile was still on his face despite his word choice. “I guess we should end on that then. Second batch of presentations is on Friday, please be prepared.”

The students of your class stood, shuffling out the exit, voices murmuring to each other. 

You sat on the bench outside your lecture hall, watching as Johnny made his way nervously to you.

“You’re an idiot.” You told him as he approached you, bottom lip wobbling against your will. Eventually you broke. “But you’re my idiot.”

Johnny felt a drop of relief in his stomach as he felt like his heart would burst.

“You’ve totally botched our presentation by the way. If we fail it it’s on you.” You shoved him away teasingly.

Johnny grinned, throwing his arm over your shoulder. 

“Yeah? Well, I think we did better than you think. I think that things are gonna turn out just fine.”

(sorry, i was supposed to write a full angst, but i couldn’t help myself.)

© Copyright 2021. hyuckssunchip. All rights reserved.