#im actually doing homework. but still
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sitting here twiddling my thumbs trying to decide how adaline's story ends. it isnt happy either way but its a matter of how.
#.text#im actually doing homework. but still#adaline rozovy#u know its like either she dies or doesnt. and gets a fate worse than death. either way she does not get a happy ending#like on one hand. they bring her back to old sharlayan and try to heal her. they try so hard. but in the end it does not matter#and she is gone.#and she leaves everyone behind.#on the other. what if she just. didnt come back.#like if there was no way home from the end of the universe. and she was stuck there. wandering. waiting.#nobody would come find her. because they dont think there is anything left to find.#even then. how would they even get to her.#they couldnt. so she'd kinda just be. Gone. they would be holding out hope she would return & she would hope#They returned. but neither happens.#i dont think time like. moves. there. either. so he'd be laying there bleeding unable to do anything for so. so. long.#there is no hydaelyn there to save her either.#goodbye forever adaline u had a good run
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i really reallyyy like the scene where jack goes to pulitzers alone and finds out kath is his daughter and stuff because you fully watch him break. not in the way he was broken during crutchies arrest or santa fe where he was alone but we get to watch in real time his facade fade. he walks in only to immediately be insulted and without missing a beat returns the same energy to pulitzer and continues to do so until pulitzer reveals kath is his daughter. then he tells snyder to come out. then the delanceys hold jack still so he cant try running. and then ONLY thing jack can come up with in response is “you stink” . THEN pulitzer brings up crutchie. Then he brings up davey and les. and we dont hear a word from that kid for the rest of the scene. he didnt even have it in him to make a comment to or about the delanceys.
#newsies#jack kelly#is ‘you stink’ simply just the disney and pg way of saying ‘go fuck yourself’ ? yeah. do i care? no#it also really emphasizes the fact that hes just a kid#coming back 2 this#guys omg ik what the line actually means its ok#im just saying u stink is also a pg go fuck urself#trust ik what he means when he brings up every single person in the room omg#ANYWAY!!!#yeah hes witty and smart but theres still that childlike innocence in him#unfortunately this is still on my mind from yesterday#luckily for me though i finished my homework early today and have no class 🎉
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Y’all so done
Finally got the pencil!!! Did some terrible terrors just to get used to it
#i should actually really be doing homework rn#but im exCITED#it feels really nice aaaa#imma do some homework and try to do some sketches again#how to train your dragon#httyd#terrible terror#i still need some practice but I can draw while being on bed fuck yeah#my art
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if you want to be as famous as me / i'm gonna live forever!!
#Monkie Kid#lego monkie kid#AMV#i think something in me broke after listening to this song for the 19th time#while doing my art homework#anyways the song is Mount Rageous#but its ACTUALLY a mashup of Fame by Irene Cara#and Watch Me Work was an original song made for the movie#im still mad they cut sweet dreams out#me whenever theres a lull in a song: i gotta put the shadowplay scene in here
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It's always "Shou and Ritsu need to blow stuff up with their minds for mental health reasons" or Ritsu and Teru or even Shou and Teru!
But what about Mob? When does he get to blow stuff up with his mind for funsies? For shits and giggles? He didn't go through all of those meltdowns and character development for nothing, let him go ham on a junkyard car or something smh
I believe in Mob's narrative given right to fuck shit up sometimes
#im hungry i should do homework i should also finish all of my other drafted posts BUT I AM LAZY#ive been starting to write fic tho at least thats productive. fic thats kind of relevant to this actually hm#listen i just want more Mob content where he does smth reckless or stupid with his powers he deserves it#or just in general tbh i need more content of mob being kinda mean or having arguments with ppl like to a healthy degree ok#but i still want him to. yanno. lash out and stuff. experience emotion. have him get angry over petty stuff#the first mp100 fic ive ever started writing/drafting had mob and ritsu having a proper fight post canon#i just need it for my OWN mental health. let them have dumb sibling fights and have mob express his annoyances#itd be funny and cathartic. for me at least. ill finish that shit one day its been assembled and disassembled but ill figure it out#eventually#let mob feel and express all of the ugly emotions he didnt allow himself to acknowledge for years pls#its my favourite thing#anyway.#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#cine te a intrebat
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silly doodle for my fursona since i made her 11 years ago today :-)
#my art#YAAAAY KADEN BIRTHDAY#featuring her new design bc i keep forgetting to update her ref#ive been a furry for 11 years. isnt that something LMAO#im on fall break now!!! doing a lot of recharging bc the few days before break have been making me wanna eat my keyboard#< nothing crazy bad going on its just the work im doing being super annoying + dealing with a weird bout of imposter syndrome#BUT ANYWAY!!! happy birthday kaden. kissing his big head#i have a couple of things i wanna do for my next tattoo/its just a matter of committing but i Do want to get a cat#< I DO WANNA NOTE kaden and i have dif birthdays :-) mine was at the end of october hehe#but i do draw kaden on my birthday bc he is me but he is also Not Me . but he is. yk LOL#tattoo somewhere to honor kaden. just a standard shorthair/nothing that necessarily reads that im a furry#or the cat having her design bc it changes every now and then bahaha#AND LIKE IM VERY CERTAIN I WANT A CAT TATTOO FOR KADE LOL shes been a staple of my life for Eleven Whole Years#and shes helped me accept parts of myself. bc if i gave her the traits i had/have and i still loved her. then i could love me too#and that has drastically helped with So Much and my therapist says thats actually#a great therapy tool. forget the exact wording but the idea is there#everyone make a fursona now. ur homework is making a fursona and loving them. and then loving urself
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I’d just like to say I think ur very cool mushroom. you seem like you’re going through a lot of things a lot of the time, and I think you deserve to have things at least a little easier. your art is wonderful and it makes me very happy to see you on my dash. hope you’re doing alright. <3
Cries. Thank you <3<3<3<3
(also I’m laughing you’re kinda right why am I literally always going through something lmfao 😭 I need a nap man)
#My friend is being worse than usual and kinda genuinely scared me (so I went crying to one of my mutuals about it lol)#I got two hours of sleep last night#I have an insane amount of homework (there’s gotta be some sort of child labor law that makes this illegal /j)#My uncle just died#My mom was mad at me last night (ow)#my dad was mad at me this morning#And I’m somehow still sick (it’s been over a WEEK)#I need a vacation lmfao#😭😭😭#im fine tho dw lol#Just being dramatic#Never been better actually /j#I do have a really good life I just like whining about all the bad stuff lol#Ignore me
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Now that he's innocent and won't hear voices in his head, maybe he won't hear me making fun of him for it...
(Edited to be up to date hehe)
#milgram#milgram project#fuuta kajiyama#kajiyama fuuta#i needed an excuse to not do my homework and im genuinely so entertained by this#hes so silly i love him#es laughed real quick in his first voice drama and they have such a sweet laugh actually ;-;#i dont feel like going through every other voice drama at the moment but i may see if they have any more at some point#and wait yuno still heard voices huh - so i guess he will know rip#rose posts#audio
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ok. im going to make this post but i REALLY shouldn’t but i just am so devastated rn and need to not be alone in it and you guys are the only people i can talk to candidly about moving stuff rn for a lot of reasons. the reason im crying rn is because i just found out i made a massive error in my budget and it turns out that my net pay is barely over minimum wage and i cannot afford to live by myself. at all. unless i live off of savings in addition to income but even then that’s only going to help me for a couple months and anyway it’s extremely unwise bc i should save that money for getting a car etc etc. this is not entirely a bad thing because a) at least i can afford to… you know… live. and b) living with roommates will not be bad especially if i live with friends and/or strangers i come to be friends with. it’s just i really… i don’t know i just feel so sick to my stomach. it’s just that recent events have made it so clear to me that i need to teach myself how to live independently before i can live with other people (let alone function in the world, heal from trauma, etc.) healthily. i know it so deeply. and it can’t happen for me. this is confirmation. this is confirmation and there’s nothing that can change it. rent is too high (even for shitty apartments in the area which let’s be real most of them are… it’s too high!) and over half of my income is going to taxes and deductions and bills and student loans. i feel so hopeless
#an di still have homework to do LMAOOOOOOOOOOO as if im not having a crisis over this issue which is more important than any hw assignment#will ever be. fuck my stupid baka life but i mean it so sincerely.#purrs#delete later#again. i know even being able to consider living alone is a MASSIVE privilege and there will be joys in having a roommate especially if it’s#someone i love. but it’s going to create sooooo many more steps in this process for me and i will have to compromise my needs yet again (#even if i genuinely want to!) when what i need right now is to have as little compromise as possible. to FINALLY experience what it’s like#to live without having to share (most) things or silence myself. moving out at all is going to be huge and helpful no matter if im living#with roommates but. god god god. this feels like thinking a door is open but it’s just painted to look that way. im so sad#also btw i found out that i am not actually being overpaid im being UNDERpaid. which is a solvable problem that will be fixed this week but#even when that gets corrected i still am making a little over minimum wage so. 😃🔫
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my current project: jump forever!
this is the first of those scheduled posts i mentioned earlier!!! i figured i would start by talking about my current project - that way i can start posting updates about it without confusing you, Michael. The next post is gonna be about the beginning of this whole Godot thing i've been on, and then i'm thinking about maybe doing a Before Godot post as a bonus once i've talked about all my godot stuff (i love saying this as if anybody cares (besides you, Michael)). setting all that aside, though: this one's gonna need some backstory, so you should buckle in.
around this time last year, me and my little cousin (he's still in high school, but we've always been pretty close) got really competitive about a little game called Jump Forever. it's a side minigame from WarioWare Mega Microgames (the GBA one) where you just jump over a little rope until you fuck up. it's really fucking fun as an addictive little mobile game, and with a quick lil emulator it was one. thus, the addiction began.
truth be told, the phase last year didn't even last that long, but i had a long bus ride a couple of weeks ago and found myself opening the GBA emulator on my phone to pass the time. that led to a little bit of playing at home, which led to beating my cousin's score, which led to getting even more into the game than i was before. as our scores get higher, we've turned to better controllers than a phone touch screen for serious record attempts - i use a ds lite i had lying around (that i reshelled! it was very fun) and he emulates on pc with a controller (i think). this got me thinking about a potential "definitive edition" of the game - probably still on mobile, but with controller support, better touch controls (the game only needs <-, ->, and A!), faster resets, selectable skins, and maybe even unlockable skins? of course, when i finished my work on fnaf (ooh foreshadowing), my sights were immediately set on a Jump Forever remake.
with all that said, welcome to the game as it currently stands! at the moment, i've got wario, the rope swingers, and the score all just about set up, with one exception; the characters have collision, the rope swings (at varying speeds, even!), and wario's speed and physics feel very accurate - but i'm still working on the ai (if you can call it that) of the rope guys as they walk back and forth. i want it to work exactly the same way as it does in the original but i always overthink random mechanics like this. hopefully the next update i give will be about how i cracked it! even if the implementation ends up jank, though, it wouldn't be the first: the rope guys check if wario is too close to them to make it over the rope with an Area2D that just checks for wario when the rope hits the ground. it works! i could just like check wario's position in the code (and it'd probably be way more efficient), but this way just... works.
i still have a buncha crap i still gotta implement before the game's even really playable - the walking ai, the title screen, the little "Ready?" animation, etc. - but that's only the beginning of my work. firstly, i'm probably gonna enlist chloe (oooh foreshadowing) to help me out by drawing some new assets (if she's free, it is finals season), and then changing the game's native resolution from 240x160 (the GBA screen) to something not fucking insane. i've got "reworking all the sprites into easy to read spritesheets" on my to-do list, and after that, making the new assets (and then maybe the skins?) will be as easy as drag & drop. once it's got the new assets and all the polish that needs to come with a shiny new resolution, i'm gonna transition into the next phase - researching how to release a game!!!
[hi, not to ruin my own amazing transition but: it's 5am and i'm running back to edit this because i completely forgot to mention that i have currently implemented a 2 frame input delay on all inputs, because that's how the emulator appears to behave when i go frame by frame. every single day i rethink this decision more and more. surely there's no way that's how it's supposed to be, right? but i feel so weird changing it now!!! i definitely fucking have to though. next time i work on it. ok anyways]
now. i've posted games to itch.io before. but even then, i kind of fucked it up (i could never get the resolution of my web games to work right???) - so it's no surprise i've always been completely daunted by the idea of "releasing a game". when you post it on real stores, that's when it becomes... real. i'm excited about the new challenges it'll pose, though! now, a mobile release means a couple of things - bite sized fun, simple progression, and fun customization. i've already got the first part nailed down, and i figured i could nail the other 2 at once with a currency system based on how many points you get (or maybe even an xp system? that goes up 1 for each jump? maybe even both???) and skins (purchasable with said currency) that let you customize the player, rope swingers, background, and maybe even the rope itself.
pictured above is my stupid ass skins mockup (i literally just made this). the rope is rainbow, the background has a snow effect and a bunch of snow on the trees/ground (isn't it great?), wario is a lil version of the rope guys, and the rope guys have santa hats. i'm not sure how many different ropes you could really make with how i'm planning the rope to move, so i'll probably end up prototyping the graphics with chloe to figure out how to lay out the sprite sheets, and if they should actually have a seperate hand-grabbing-the-rope sprite for skin purposes. it'll definitely make things really confusing, but if i go for a mobile release i don't want to run ads, and so a currency you can buy with real money (and maybe one or two goofy supporter skins that cost real money, like a solid gold guy or something, as a form of donation) is a good way to make a lil bit of money from people who like the game.
all of this is fun to think about, but it's important to remember that the next thing i have to do is that walking ai. i've gotta Make The Fucking Game before i can do all this crazy other bullshit. i'm sure the ui design for all this is gonna be soooo fun, but i need a game to attach it to first :p
this went on reeeally long but i figure if this is a dev diary or w/e it's gonna end up running long no matter what, and the more info, the more i have to look back on fondly and say "oh shit, i know exactly when this was!", which is kind of the end goal of the project. of course, these incredibly long posts about shit that only matters to me are also incredible content for you, Michael, so i'm sure you're just eating this shit up. enjoy, you weird little man.
#game dev#jump forever#godot#yeah yeah i got some real tags too. just in case i actually need em.#also michael's still here. i think he's funny#it's only been like an hour for me soooo#remember when i said it was 1am in my first post? it's 4am now lol#i looove tags i love rambling under my post where people don't feel obligated to read it#nobody ask me why i have the stickmen swinging the rope instead of kat/ana like it is after you beat them#(he said as if anybody would've noticed)#i think the stickmen are so much more awesome and the fact that you can't get them back is SO FUCKED UP#and lowkey one of the things that got me thinking about Jump Forever Definitive Edition#kat and ana are awesome the stickmen just resonate with me deep in my soul#i'm not proofreading this i'm just hoping it sounds good. really putting the “diary” in “dev diary”#man. im so glad michael is the hypothetical ideal viewer. because that means he's reading all the tags too#hi michael! ur the best :)#scheduling this for saturday at noon (it is currently friday at 4:30 am)#i hope i get the chance to write the next one (about that 2D platformer tutorial!) before like. monday.#god knows i'm not doing my homework lmaooo#when's my next therapy appointment?#that's crazy deep lore we can't get into that on post 2 (honestly post 1)#but it's okay because nobody reads the tags#and that's not even considering that nobody is ever gonna read this post. ever.#besides michael.#but michael knows all about that ;)#or maybe he doesn't... and it's a sexy mystery?#my my i am such an enigma#okay fuck i can't keep adding tags i need to sleep#i really hope tags are collapsed by default or michael's timeline is gonna be in shambles
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I'm thinking about this idea a bit more, and I think instead of Shigeo enrolling into UA, even if the General Studies course, I'd like to see Teru take a crack at it actually. Shigeo's off in a non-heroics high school just working on bettering himself while Teru goes straight for UA's Hero course, after all he's worked with Seasoning City's totally legitimate hero and psychic Reigen Arataka.
Teru's already had his development in middle school, and now he gets to impart this wisdom upon the kids of UA, he's an amazing fighter with excellent control over his powers (are they still psychic powers or a Quirk here I haven't decided yet) but most importantly he's a great rescue hero. He always makes sure to get civilians to safety and does what he can to subdue threats, he's gotten plenty of practice in after all the stuff that's gone down in Seasoning after all.
#im imaginine teru's living with reigen actually tbh and he's stopping by s&s after school all the time#shige and ritsu are busy with school and dont have time to drop by as often#but shige still stops by sometimes to help out and or to do his homework there#seri still works at s&s so reigen isnt rlly alone 100% of the time dw#seri and teru usually trade off as seri needs tgo to school later#tbh s&s gets a lot of visitors who just pop by for a chator to help out with jobs and or totally legal heroics#dimple also hangs out there a lot#mp100#mha#mp100 x mha#hanazawa teruki#phantom bunnies
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No way that just happened
#procrastinated my homework for TWELVE HOURS TODAY#only the learn the one assignment i thought i had to do is actually due friday and the other i literally cant do bc he forgot to post the#reading and you cant write a reaction essay on the reading if you cant read it can you?#broooooo#technically i still have to do my portuguese but like. its easy and wont take long and ill have time tomorrow to do it if i dont have to#write the paper. and if i do write the paper theres a nonzero chance i skip portuguese to do it. so like....#probable outcome paper moved to wednesday for next reading#i just read the one for tmrw once he posts it during my 2hr break which is when i do my portuguese too#if this actually works out for me w/o making my morning hell tomorrow thats hysterical#does jackshit for 2 whole days w no consequences..... could you imagine....#also sorry for the morning prof is gonna have when he finds out he didnt post it. also sorry that i had to tell him at midnight with an#essay due on it (obvious procrastinator)#also sorry that NO ONE ELSE pointed it out yet (even more obvious procrastinators)#sucks bc i know its gonna make his day sucky and were friends#so like sorry im the bearer of bad news my friend#i say friends i mean hes still my professor but hes a 25yo grad student ive have 3 classes w including study abroad#like weve gone clubbing together and he bought me alcohol the one time i think its safe to say were cool#as much as anyone who has the power to kill my gpa can be
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pro tip: you can think about things as much as you want
#RRRRRHGHHHGGGGGG#ive been. so. unbelievablely. ultrakill lately.#and sometimes when i get too into something im lke i have to take a step back . and calm down#but actually i dont#I CAN THINK ABOUT THINGS AS MUCH AS I WANT!!! MY BRAIN MY RULES!!!!!!!!! ULTRAKILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but actually for right now . i have homework to do. but i can still ultrakill if i want. heart#i thinik i will listen to music . ultrakill music#owls nonsense
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they should give you a minimum 20 years after coming back from school to rest and process everything that happened
#seriously#im so overstimulated#this is the reason i've been inactive lately#even after coming home we've got so much homework from every subject#and i've got extra classes for math and physics everyday#aside from that I have to study on my own too or else I can't understand anything the next day#other problems include:#im in a new school but stuck with the same old feelings of loneliness and exclusion#felt like crying multiple times because teachers keep targeting me#I live like 20 minutes away from my school i've walked to and from there before+there's plenty of kids way younger than me who walk#but my mother's still convinced i'll get sunburnt and die so I have to listen to my father yelling at me about how he hates having to pick#me up. like dude I don't like this either!!#honestly I was doing fine until yesterday#I made like one friend who I stuck with for the first few days of school so I didn't really talk to anyone else#but now he's got a new friend and is ignoring me so.#umm on a positive note they have a big library here. that's cool.#and they've got a basketball team! kind of scared I won't make it though I haven't actually played in a while#trey's terrors
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God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.
#speculation nation#i say as if i didnt submit myself to this and am not willingly paying for this to continue#idfk man ive always hated therapy. just kinda kept it going bcus i was so messed up about the whole grief shit#and i guess it's been maybe helpful. i dont know.#SHOULD i mention this tomorrow? i already know it's ass and entirely undeserved#if i did it'd mostly be another source to complain about it. theres really nothing anyone can say to make it better#bc it's bullshit and it already happened. and i already have the objective proof of yet another person losing interest in me.#... i dont know. i feel like it's inevitably going to come up. it's already taken up so much of my thoughts.#my every dream last night stemmed from it all. it was such a fitful night of sleep.#i can only pray that i dont dream about it tonight too. i want a fucking break from it all.#i hope she loses sleep from guilt. i hope she hurts every time she remembers what she did to me.#i hope she comes around tomorrow so she can see the face she kissed and she lied about loving#so she can remember im a person with feelings too. a person who opened up to her. a person who trusted her.#............ okay maybe i should talk about my blatantly vicious retaliatory remarks with my therapist.#i tried to reign it in but Bitch Mode definitely came out earlier today. when it was fresh. and i just wanted to make her Hurt.#i still want that honestly. i want her to truly regret doing this. to be filled with so much guilt for how she chose to do it.#i cant change her feelings. no matter how much i might want to. but i sure as hell can make her regret it.#i feel like im allowed a bit of petty bitchiness after this bullshit. but i also dont like the person i become like this.#anger issues. perhaps i should talk about my anger issues with my therapist.#easier than just rehashing the whole breakup. though i'll probably have to do that some too.#but better to have a goal for it. a direction to focus on. so that it's not just me complaining.#... it still wont be fun. and my ex mentioned coming round an hour after my therapy ends for dropping the shit off.#so Assuming she actually shows up (still not convinced she will after she flaked on me twice)#it's gonna be therapy and then seeing her right after. god it's gonna suck.#i'll try to do some homework maybe. and then maybe see if anyone wants to hang out later tomorrow.#my friends r the real ones. hanging out with me for 7 hours... they traded off between them but still#for 7 hours i was not alone. and that was very nice of them to do.#good things. positives! focusing on the positives. i am a healthy person with a healthy outlook on life. smiles.
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click for better quality!
the hush of rain / scourge
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#scourge#warrior cats#wc#waca#wc art#scourge wc#blood#bloodclan#THIS. WAS SO TRICKY TO DO#tried a couple of new things out/drew things ive never rlly drawn before as like a test#and its like. i started late in the night its 1 am rn and i am tired#BUT I JUST FOUND OUT i didnt have homework this weekend and i convinced myself i did so hip hip hooray me#scourge is still one of my fave characters all he did was show up kill and die. good for him#ALL IN ALL i am happy and proud of this piece ^_^#if i forget anything. please show me mercy#for i am my own worst enemy (drawing after 11 pm)#ANYWAY goodnight and goodmorning but mostly good night#actually hold that thought a little im hungry so goodnight after i figure out what i want to eat#i dont know how to draw puddles i kinda gave up its more prominent in the sketch
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