#im actually cooked i cant think of anything
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i was finally home. to stay ── .✦
AUTHOR'S NOTE : i'm obsessed and that's okay. REASONING : i got bored nd had cooked up some ponyboy headcanons so jst decided to make all of them some. ^^ <3 WARNINGS : none of these are probably accurate i dunno man it's late?? like,, really late and i have school tomorrow i'm sorry. :( </3 ( no actual warnings that i could think of !! )
RANDOM OUTSIDERS HEADCANONS !!
゜✦゜₊⁺ ✦゜₊⁺ ✦゜₊⁺ ゜゜✦゜₊⁺ ✦゜₊⁺ ✦゜₊⁺ ゜゜✦゜₊⁺ ✦゜₊⁺ ✦゜₊⁺ ゜゜✦゜₊⁺
𝐏 𝐎 𝐍 𝐘 𝐁 𝐎 𝐘
|| 𝐂 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐈 𝐒
— Ponyboy wouldn't like puddles. I feel like he just doesn't like rain in general, so he can stay in and read, but I feel like if he had to go out, he would hate stepping in puddles or passing through them. ( iykyk and i'm crying lmao )
— PONYBOY CAN DRAW AND I FEEL LIKE WE ALL FORGET THAT SO, i feel like you could find him drawing what he imagines book characters to look like, or objects in the books??
— Ponyboy is a perfectionist but only on some things.
— OML Soda has totally walked into their room to find Ponyboy c r y i n g on his bed, and after Pony calms down, Soda asked what he was crying about only to find out it was about a book.
"are you kidding me pony" "i'm sORRY"
— has a weird addiction to horror movies despite hating them and they give him nightmares i cant. they're his guilty pleasure because darry always says the cause of his nightmares were the horror movies he watched.
𝐒 𝐎 𝐃 𝐀 𝐏 𝐎 𝐏
|| 𝐂 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐈 𝐒
— Sodapop actually isn't that bad at spelling, he just forgets a letter here and there. Like, he'll misspell 'missing' as 'mising', but the next time he writes 'missing' he'll spell it right. his mind is just too distracted and i feel that.
— SODA HAS TOTALLY TRIPPED IN FRONT OF A GIRL AND TRIED TO PLAY IT OFF SO CHILL.
"meant to do that" coughs
— Soda 100% tries his best to help Darry with the bills and such, hating to see his older brother weighed down with all the stress. Never thinks he could do what Darry does nd admires him lots.
— actually kinda enjoys being on the side of watching his friends mess around like?? Sodapop loves knowing that his friends all get along nd -- agjshshshjgshshs
— he supports it fully if/when the steve is the one attracting the girls one day, never the jealous one.
— LEGIT THE BEST WINGMAN.
"hey, what's up?"
(probably evie or smth) "oh, hey." her friends around her giggling at sodapop because he's cute. <3
"so, you see that guy over there?" gestures wildly over at steve. "yeah he kinda needs someone to dance with." casually leans against the wall like he's flirting with her as he winks subtly.
𝐃 𝐀 𝐑 𝐑 𝐘
|| 𝐂 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐈 𝐒
— Darry would totally be one of those people who seem like they instantly know how to do everything but I feel when he used to have free time he'd jst randomly learn random things.
"darry you know how to juggle??"
"yes."
"darry you know how to cartwheel?"
"yes."
"darry you know how to read??"
"pony --"
— hates supernatural things, ghosts actually scare the shit out of him im not kidding.
— but when he watches horror movies he's just sitting there blankly while pony is trying to not scream at his side. and when they walk out and ponyboy's jst all shaking nd stuff darry's just like: "broski you okay?"
— loves organization for no reason, it doesn't help him have a clear mind or anything he just . . . goes into pony and soda's room . . . . . and organizes,,,
𝐓 𝐖 𝐎 - 𝐁 𝐈 𝐓
|| 𝐌 𝐀 𝐓 𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐖 𝐒
— Two-Bit ( doesn't get enough love ) probably had a childhood crush on Minnie Mouse.
tries not to admit it or is boldly proud of it. depends on who he's talking to.
— Two-Bit doesn't cry over real life things, but he would totally sob over a Mickey Mouse episode or something.
— Legit the smartest ever but doesn't attempt at school and this is why he was held back.
— TOTALLY USED TO HAVE A STUTTER WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER.
— you could NOT understand this boy it was that bad.
until his mom made him start reading to her aloud and it got better. 👍
— actually has once almost passed out from wheezing laughing too hard.
— drama queen and we love him.
𝐉 𝐎 𝐇 𝐍 𝐍 𝐘
|| 𝐂 𝐀 𝐃 𝐄
— Rip Johnny Cade, you would've loved child protective services.
— Johnny probably has tried his hand at creative writing nd he totally enjoyed it. Hates writing essays nd shit though.
— PLS PONYBOY WHEN HE HEARD JOHNNY WRITES A BIT FORCED HIM TO SHARE SO NOW THE TWO HAVE TIMES WHERE THEY BOTH SHARE RECENT WRITINGS AJGHHSJ ponyboy fr johnny's hype man because he knows how hard writers are on themselves (most of the time) </3
"i wrote this one yesterday idk man i don't like it"
"what the fuck johnny this is amazing??"
— johnny has and forever will create characters based on people from the gang. just someone from the gang casually inspired a part of the character. he didn't use to be so subtle about it though.
scribbled down character sheet with jst the basics - 'james thomas: funny guy and the only thing that comes out of his mouth are jokes'
"johnny is this two-bit"
"no."
— leGIT, he once saw someone at school doing a sick secret handshake and convinced ponyboy to make one up with him.
— he probably once didn't like dallas because ponyboy admitted randomly how he didn't like dally and johnny just kinda went with that.
𝐃 𝐀 𝐋 𝐋 𝐀 𝐒
|| 𝐖 𝐈 𝐍 𝐒 𝐓 𝐎 𝐍
— Dallas Winston cries at seeing spiders and you cannot change my mind with this. When he's around someone though he tries to play it off so cool though.
— he gets cuddly when he's drunk and johnny is most normally the prime target for hugs.
— says he hates kids but also hates seeing kids cry and will probably try and do something to make them feel better so they'll just stop crying.
— used to have a lisp on the word 'world'.
— genuinely loves any affection but is not willing to give it himself.
𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐕 𝐄
|| 𝐑 𝐀 𝐍 𝐃 𝐋 𝐄
— Steve,,, i feel like he doesn't actually enjoy Mickey Mouse, he just watches it when it's on because it's something to watch and he knows if he admits it, Two-Bit would hit him and then cry.
— literally can sing the greatest ever but you never catch him doing it. not even soda knows so you know it's secret.
— cannot focus at work when it's just soda and him, all giggling and messing around until a customer walks in and bro just shuts up as quickly as he can without making himself laugh again.
— steve totally used to legit bully the fuck out of ponyboy when pony was like, five. he's toned it down. it's not that physical anymore.
— steve, and i cannot stress this enough, is such a fucking simp i cant.
— the best best friend. i feel like he'd try and act all 'tuff' and stuff, 'forget' what soda or one of the curtis gang mentioned wanting before getting that exact thing for them on a gift-giving holiday. he saved up so he could get them that. :(
#free for all and we love it#accurate or no?#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis#darrel curtis#s.e. hinton#dallas winston#dally winston#johnny cade#johnnycake#sodapop curtis#pepsi-cola#outsiders headcanons#the outsiders#steve randle#two-bit matthews#keith matthews#made up#if you look down here#for the first one#horses don't like puddles if i remember correctly#their eyes can't sense the depth or smth so they're hesitant to go through them#so#ponyboy#jst think about that for a sec. :D#i'm hilarious guys i promise#i used too many curse words in this my man !!#i say man to much now thank you dallas#headcanons#fanfics
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dook dook
#my art#traditional art#i have literally nothing established for the outfit except for the bell/bow/tie thing#im actually cooked i cant think of anything#i really like the idea of a sweater vest with an apron sometimes tho#but then comes the question#oc#meau#originals
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#★ arin rambles#‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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AXONS IN MY BIOLOGY TEXTBOOK?????
#i actually cant think of anything but dr who#i cant read anything without linking it to dr who#im cooked#doctor who#dr who#the doctor#dw#the master#delgado!master#the master doctor who#third doctor#3rd doctor#jon pertwee#Rodger delgado
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Why not combine them? You could post about MineDai eating pasta! Does Mine bulk with pasta? Does Daigo have a favorite pasta dish? Do they cook it together for a date night? Does Daigo even know how to boil water?? (Genuinely if you have any interest in posting about this please do, would read)
mine could, in fact, be the one who makes daigo pasta with a lil olive oil and salt and parmesan youre right ......
#snap chats#in MY world anyway ......#posts that inspired me to stop playing fps games to eat pasta instead <- im playing again later with my brother#bulking with pasta tho ..... im built like a cool stick you find in the forest but i love having pasta after a midday run ...#maybe not as a Meal meal but a quick meal just to have something afterwards yk#though would that not be lunch .... pasta lunch ... not a terrible meal for lunch actually...#idk i dont really eat lunch. unless that IS lunch.... idk dont ask me about the specific dietary habits of characters i dont eat#i dont imagine daigo has a favorite pasta dish- not that he doesnt like pasta its just not something he has strong opinions on#spaghetti's always a safe choice isnt it .... omg jollibees spaghetti ... i dont think he's had any but i just want JB spaghetti now ...#im full on pasta actually my stomach hurt <- just ate / contradicting 'i dont eat' statement#i cant imagine daigo and mine cooking together. maybe its because the thought of someone cooking with me makes me want to kill them#like im literally trying to cook here get out of the WAY. mine would be more nice of course he'd just have daigo wait if he was cooking#i should draw something with that .. i see it clearly. .. one day.#i just think itd be nice if daigo Wnated to help and insisted on it but mine's Deadass this time like. Go Away. Respectfully.#daigo'd prob joke about helping but then he gotta get hit with the Im Serious tone and now he's laughing while he walks away#like FIIIINNNEE WHATEVER guess he wont get the chairmans help <- the kitchen will not be burned down now#thats hyperbolic. moving on#youre right anon with the power of my mind i can make anything about my day related to minedai#i will be abusing this power indefinitely
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and i am free!! all my exams have finished and I'm so so glad that they're done!!
#shoutout to chemistry fucking a level last goddamn exam for ANYONE im pretty sure#thanks so much for keeping me doing exams for more than a month cant think of anything else i could be doing with my time#it was fun while it lasted and i think i did alright with most of my exams but. we'll see!!#anyway. the ACTUALLY fun stuff is that i get to work on the ranchers wip ive had cooking for a while now#so that'll probably be dropping at some point soon :))#juno.talks
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It's wild that I will just straight up forget I've had POTS since I was a young teenager.
And then it comes back and I'm like "oh my God am I dying?"
And my partner is like "sounds like the condition you've had almost your whole life."
#i actually thought id grown out of it#at one point#because i had fewer issues with it#in my early 20s#so naive#still think about#the doctor who told me#it wasnt that big of a deal#idk there bud i cant cook#or finish the laundry tonight#without feeling like im gonna#pass out#feels like at least a moderate deal#like yeah it probably wont kill me#but foods pretty important#glad my partner can cook#when i lived alone#i would army crawl to the kitchen#and grab anything shelf stable#ever eat salsa straight out of the jar#for breakfast no less#damn wtf was i doing with these tags
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Time for me to be completely changed as a person! *just watched falsettos*
#the klock keeps ticking#oh dude we’re so back oh its so back#how am i supposed to live my life after this how am i supposed to go on#its funny cuz ive seen this damn show actually a thousand times i know it forward and backwards#and i dont really cry ever in general and ive become so familiar with falsettos that i dont cry anymore#but it still has the ability to destroy some deep part of me every single time in a new way#I will stay firm in my belief that its the greatest piece of media ever made#if i ever get to see falsettos on broadway (pipe dream ik) like#thatd be it for me man like how the hell are you supposed to leave and drive home after that akdnsk#i cant remember the last time i watched either i think it mightve been like. when i first moved into my old apartment 😳#and ive gone through quite a bit of shit since then and im smarter. i think#so yeah it hit me very hard this time i always stick to something different#im very much wrecked about this fucking family lets just say that#lets just say ��shes cooked for some 200 guests i know we’re not that many actually we’re 7’#really hit different this time KID DO YOU KNOW HOW PROUD I AM#DONT KNOW WHY BUT HE LOOKS LIKE MARVIN#so so good so lovingly written and performed so real and beautiful and tragic FUCKKKK#yeah basically prepare for me to write like 50 essays for a few days about all the characters every song every lyric every sound yeah#falsettos is probably deadass the reason im like this it shaped me so much#just like. the ending of tragedy that was so unexpected and unfair#and it looks at the fucking homophobic shits who preached all about this being just desserts for the perverted behavior#and it says ‘this man could’ve kept that unhappy heterosexual life and avoided all of this but he chose the one that killed him because#it made him feel like himself it made him happy despite how brief it was and hed choose this route in every universe’#just a piece of art that is so true to queerness i dont think anything else has instilled a sense of pride in me like falsettos has#the tight knit family marvin tries so hard to keep together is falling apart worse and worse with each attempt#but once marvin is happy and loves himself and is loved by others the family ends up growing and sticking together naturally#aaughhh yeah ahahaha yeah man everyone please love your friends so genuinely love yourself and keep going 🥰
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next month is my sisters bday and then the month after is my gfs im gonna be in debt for gifts
#jaykay i cant buy anything for my l over 😢 YET#soon soonSooonn when i move out#ror now i will be poor#post#maes tag#and then one of my close friends in jan and then mine#!!!!!!#i wonder if my friends will remember#ik my silly thecar and romiet will and sidmie but i dont think the rest of them actually know my bday#guys is it valid to be a little upset at asking your friends to wait so u can walk w thrm but they always forget#chat i have to do my work...or im cooked..ending my Laife#cant i just think .. ... minoshiko togachako au when Plsase Please#i love u minoshiko toshinene akishiko??toshikito??whatever#kay work time bai
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how it feels to randomly get rly overwhelmed and frustrated and bitchy and feel like youre going insane
#like its so dumb i shouldnt be this upset its not just rhe stupid drawing everything is literally wrong . i need everythinf 2 stop 4ever#i want to eat something savory but i cant bc rly what i want is a spambowl but i cant fucking make spambowl bc everybody in the house will#lose their shit that i didnt offer to make any for them <- uncharitable. at most lamp would make a joke abt it. but i also just dont want to#cook. but nobody else can make spam bowls#well lamp can but they prefer when i make them. but we have 4 pieces of leftover spam i need to use up bc theyre jusr in a ziploc#and thats enough for A spambowl. but iii dont feel like it#it wouldnt even be that like. actually no incouldnt thered be too much rice#we only have boil in a bag rn. and 1 bag is for 2#so if i want spambowl id Have to share w lamp which i dont mind its easy 2 like. yk. 2 spambowl is what i usually make so i can do it pretty#easy. but im like om the verge of tears for no reason so i cant be in the kitchen#'for no reason' well my periods coming up inliterally got rhe notif for it. thats the reason#i need to get back on t i need to get a job i need to graduate. slamming my head into the wall#i feel like now its been too long since i worked and nobody will hire me . man#but i also like. idk i. id probably be better if i had a job bc id have to be but i feel like i cant keeo anything stable#i cant even keep my fucking sleep schedule steady i get it fixed for a week and then i fuck it up#im so tired i wish things were easy. whateber man . i think maybe i just need to sleep
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.
#i cannot Believe i am having to buy locking boxes to keep my food and belongings in at home#bc my mother (who is also my 'caretaker') (heavy use of air quotations) refuses to stop stealing and/or throwing out all my shit !!!#my food and my clothes and my literal everything#cannot respect boundaries cannot respect me honestly at this point dont think she understand what respect even is#and sure as fuck isnt capable of giving it#so like. fuck my entire existence i guess :-)))))#stole all my food last night yet again#now dont have anything i can have bc im too low on spoons to cook anything#and she ate all my ready-made and microwave options so :-)))) guess i get to starve#bc i cant afford to buy anything#gr8. cool#fuck my entire life truly i cant w this woman anymore#she truly has a mindset of 'everything in this apartment including u as a person belongs to me bc i pay the majority of the rent'#ok go fuck urself actually#u massive fucking bitch#jfc#guess im not a human person bc im disabled and my disability $ isn't enough to live off independently#i'm just like. a fucked up pet u can neglect and abuse however and whenever u want#that's fun.#how about i kill myself#not even exaggerating#shjsshdjdk#jfc i'm DONE#ask to tag#ableism#abuse#idk lmk if i need to tag other stuff#negative#suicide mention
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I am sorry. I have so much work, and I am very pregnant so I just don't have time to respond to stuff on here as much (or draw, really.) Hoping I can get into a schedule soon which allows me to paint and chat more :(
#i have so little free time#i worked 12 hours today#im just tired#technically i could have been painting the last 2 hours of relaxation#but tbh i am falling asleep#i think it will calm down soon tho#ill do work work in the morning do a class then hopefully have enough left in me for cooking chores and painting/chatting#whew#idk how im going to do this with a kid#trying.... not to think about that actually#wait. no.#frustrating thing: there's no preschool around here for us#preschool in our area is only available if your family is extremely impoverished#there are for-profit daycares and they cost about $2000-$4000 a month#girl i cannot swing that lmao#sigh#i hate being in the US#everybody wants you to have kids but no one wants to do anything with them#like be fr rn no one has the fucking money for $2500/month childcare#im glad people way under the poverty line have good school opportunities but also.. why#the school mentioned many times that they can barely afford to stay open#man#so many people call them and are willing to pay#i understand why they must prioritize people that cant or theyd get pushed out#but theres obviously 1) not enough funding for that school 2) a real threat to lower income families to be able to get in if higher income#families decide to elbow them out and 3) not enough schools here#they are building another preschool which will be available to families who work at certain local businesses#but lmao.... get this... there are only 20 spots available for their preschool. 20. girl what. and it costs $2k/month.#my mom called me the other day after i texted about all this and said she could watch our kid. for $25/hour#feeling a bit cornered here. it's going to be a long 5 or 6 years until kindergarten
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Me: well I don't have any counting compulsions
Also me: (anytime I have to count anything) *recounts it at least 3 times because I think I counted it right... probably. but now I'm not sure and I have to check*
#i dont think i considered this might not be normal until just now#this might actually be why physically sitting down to fill out a math sheet is torture to my soul#but i also know math just fine. its just the anxiety about counting things wrong#its worse when theres physical things involved though like when im cooking because im convinced#that im gonna majorly fuck up#idk if this is normal or not but i straight up count to 5. normally and correctly. and then suspevt i was wrong#and have to redo it again and again until i get so frustrated that i have to convince myself whatever it fucks up cant be that bad#i think it would be a big problem if i was counting something important or anything at a higher number though#but thankfully the most important thing i count is cups of rice that go into my rice cooker lol#also still doubting wether i have ocd or not but goddamn. the word 'probably' has single handedly impacted my brain chemistry forever#i think... probably :')#god forbid i be sure of anything ever#lmao oof i just remembered some things. time for a small tags trauma rant i guess#so I remember never being sure of anything ever as a kid. for some reason i was so anxious and unsure#that the only thing i thought i knew to be true for sure was my faith in my religion#lol needless to say... i deconverted at 16-17#now idk for real man. i was wrong about the only thing i was certain of#not sure how to recover from that#obviously im never going back to that religion. it was so incredibly harmful idk if i could even put it into words#but at the same time... im not sure why i doubt everything#or more accurately im not sure how everyone else DOESN'T#how can they be so self assured? how can they know anything? how are they#how is anyone so sure of something that theyre just at peace with never thinking about it or doubting it or questioning it#ive never had that i dont think
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i have to drive for like two hours tomorrow and all i can think of is old people
#snap chats#i always call them old but i never think of them when theyre ACTUALLY old....#im lying. kinda. LISTEN I TRY TO THINK OF OLD ARASAWA BUT I JUST THINK OF DIVORCE#if you know me from kh you know two old men being divorced has not stopped me. its fueled me ever. still crying over the novel brb--#BUT I JUST DONT HAVE TOO MUCH MATERIAL. I THINK. my brain puny.#i cant even think of anything to do WITH that tho. like sure i have an idea or two but nothing i think is worth executing#2019 the saddest year for the elderly i just think they should be happy#cant believe arakawa gave jo full custody this is so sad. jo is this what you wanted it should be but--#tbh tho i told myself id do some comm sketches to have them ready for tomorrow#and that as a reward i could draw The Guys but im chillin with my sister and now im distracted#shes doing work and like. every five minutes she keeps saying 'this is bad' she lit just said it as i typed this LMAO#point is bro i need my fix. i just looked through the pixiv tag for them for the like. ninth time#it never updates and most of it's n/s/f/w and/or ads for doujins but still#i take what i can get dawg theyre just so funny to me. im going insane like actually its so bad tonight apparently#ok bye lemme go ACTUALLY work so i can cook my food. so to speak
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looking back on this with new added context and also
this set of vivi looks
my god. he really looks dead here. the light literally disappears from his eyes every time he goes away from his little escape in the first. like more than ever i can feel that immense sense of burnout weighing on him. the way that his expression, looking back on the source, mirrors his expression during an honest-to-god near death experience really puts things into perspective. he really fits the description of "dead inside"
i was originally going to write about how he was like the exarch; in the sense that he was a dead man walking. but now that i think about it, they really mirror each other in a lot of ways. the exarch is a figure trapped in death, who violently, undescribably, wants to experience life. vivi is a figure who absolutely cannot die lest the world goes with him, who romanticises the idea of death so much that his big crush is the guy who showed up before he almost died. they both tow the line between life and death, yet theyre on opposite sides; so close, yet so far. they both yearn, by nature, yet for completely different things.
........man vivi kinda sounds like emet here. wonder why
✧✦✧ "Fragments" - episode 52 ✧✦✧
Mirage.
New reader? episode list on tumblr | webtoon Read 4 more episodes: patreon | kofi
#elaborating on the point with emet:#he seems to be a mix of the both of them#in the end his goal is to return back to his people by any means necessary#if that means creating a fucked up fake version of his city and maybe boyfriend then so be it.#it if means leveling the planet and rebuilding it anew. then so be it#if it means death? so be it.#hes a lot like graha in that hes a dead man walking who yearns to experience life. the one that he knows he cant get#hes a lot like vivi! in that hes someone who seemingly only lives for dutys sake#and i hope this doesnt come off too harsh on the poor guy. but in this case he really seems like a dark reflection of the both of them#all the worst outcomes of their individual quirks manifested into a tortured soul#but then again.... when has vivi. or hell. graha ever been anything but a tortured soul#how far apart are they from emet actually? would they become him if they were in the same circumstances#i assume not. but maybe thats what might run through vivis mind once he really gets a grip on him#much to think about#although.... my reading on emet definitely isnt as salient as my reading on graha. (as evidenced from my entire fucking account lmao)#so im really not sure if this part of the post was me cooking or not. i hope i didnt misinterpret him#which is why its in the tags#.....i think im hyperfixated on this comic. just a bit
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