#im a piece of trash
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danmarch 🐉💎
#honkai star rail#dan heng#march 7th#danmarch#fanart#hsr#what else do i tag. i have no idea#anyway. im breaking my VERY LONG oc art streak to post my one(1) contribution to star rail#i care them very much#ive been playing this game so religiously and they have not left my team#tragic past(emo) vs tragic past(girly pop)#theres NO WAY with marchs very teenage girl mind that she does not have a crush on the hot cool mysterious yet caring dragon guy#who stays in the room right next to her#and the fact that he teases her so much........#the whole ass belabog quest he throws in little harmless march roasts every so often#he fucking CARE her#i bets shes like a filipino mom with that camera. every oppertunity (picture!!!!)#and dan heng gets dragged into it#he is honing his photography skills against his will#any nice place? shes like (lemme pose can you get a photo of me?)#dan heng just sighs#they bond over silently judging stelle rummaging through the garbage#cast each other that best friend glance as half her body is sticking out of a trash bin#i like to think you see them hanging out on the train together#with dan heng reading some obscure 8th century book on civilization pattern and development#and march is humming and putting stickers and aesthetic shit in her scrapbook#taping a piece of antimatter legion loot in the middle of a page#and with bubbly handwriting (we beat some bad guys today!!! <333 so fun!!)
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DONT REPOST THIS thanks
#home#mine#turning reblogs off and taking it out of tags for a while#i might just delete it#it feels fucking dehumanizing none of you were here nobody knows what happened in these walls#even the people who live there now who probably trashed the place#neither did the people who took that grand piano out in pieces#none of you will ever understand how much i lost when they took me from here#that little girl is dead shes fucking dead and im living in some cruel imitation of her#and every time ive tried to kill myself its been so i could go home again#but i cant ill nevet go home shell never go home home isnt real anymore#r
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Sanji x Reader drabble
Word count: 1.5k
I am so in love with this man. I have so many feelings about Sanji, about his past, about him hiding his anxiety. And yeah this is based on a scene from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries lol.
Sanji sees someone associated with his past, you calm him down. (Mild comfort, fluff, pre-timeskip, pre-relationship, no one is aware Sanji's a Vinsmoke by birth yet. Gender neutral reader)
It was a lazy day, the kind that makes Sanji's face stretch into a languid catlike grin. There were no pressing issues, no captain getting into the worst trouble imaginable, no swordsman annoying the shit out of him. Life was good. To top it all off, here he was, enjoying a drink in a small island pub with his favourite straw hat.
Life was so good.
You had chuckled when he'd offered to buy you a drink as a thank you for joining him today. The sound was like wedding bells to him; loud, low, and one that made his heart race. He'd beamed at you when you'd agreed, pulling you into the nearby bar.
The two of you had been chatting for hours, beyond comfortable with each other. It had been so good to be away from the others, just having your complete undivided attention. And soon enough, the sun was setting, the two of you too wrapped up in having fun to even notice.
You sighed. “I suppose it's time we got back, last thing we need is a search party looking for us.”
It was regrettable, but Sanji agreed. He'd s get the walk back with you, so win-win, really. With a flourish that made you smile, Sanji offered his hand, gently helping you out of the booth.
Life was good.
Or it would have been, had Sanji not seen it. A man. No, not just a man.
A Germa66 soldier
His blood ran cold. It couldn't be like this. No one knew his true lineage, and he was not about to ruin his whole life by telling you all! No. He couldn't let you know. Sanji could practically see how hurt you'd be, how he'd lied to you by omission.
He'd finally gotten another family, he was not going to let some random soldier ruin it!
And besides, what was someone from Germa even doing here!? The implications made anxiety try to claw its way out of Sanji's chest.
You, unbeknownst to Sanji, were studying him. One second the two of you were giggling like lovestruck teenagers, the next he was frozen, eyes trained across the bar.
“Ji? You okay?”
Nothing. Sanji was still.
“Sanji!” You clicked your fingers in front of him. “Eyes on me. Nothing to worry about, ‘kay?”
The cook didn't move, still staring at the man across the room with palpable fear. You could practically taste the anxiety rolling off him in waves.
“Just…someone from my past.” He managed to breathe out.
“And you're safe. Eyes on me. If you keep looking at him he's going to see you. Look at me.”
His shaking eyes regarded you for a second before wandering back to the soldier. You had no idea where they were from, or how they knew Sanji, but right now you didn't care. Based on how badly he was trying to cover up his fear, you were certain this was big.
He didn't budge when you tried to direct him to you.
“Sanji!” You bit as quietly as you could.
Sanji looked so scared, so helpless. It hurt your heart. Running out of ideas you cringed. You had one, but it wasn't exactly the best. But Sanji needed his crew right now. He needed someone to ground him.
With a speed you didn't often muster, you forced the tall man to look at you, hand cradling his chin. The fear was still apparent in his eyes, but ever the agreeable boy he stared in your eyes. You felt him startle when you wrapped your free arm around his neck.
A small apology left your lips.
Before he could turn his attention back to panicking you pulled him down to meet you, kissing him softly. Using Sanji's shock to your advantage you spun the two of you so you could keep an eye on the man that had your friend so desperately afraid.
Sanji gasped into the kiss, and for a moment you were worried he was going to push you back. His hands were thrust towards you, palms splayed. You braced yourself for the impact.
But it never came.
Instead you felt his strong arms encircle your waist, one travelling to clutch at your back, the other snaking to hold you closer against him. Sanji melted against your lips, a small noise of appreciation slipping out.
Shit, he was a really good kisser. You fought the urge to close your eyes, to just give in and kiss the man silly, but you had a job to do. It felt wrong to kiss Sanji with your eyes open, but you trained your eyes on the man he was scared of. The soldier was exiting the pub with a beautiful woman, him eagerly leading her by the hand while she giggled.
Once they had left and the coast was clear you began to relax. You'd love to say you did the right thing and gently pulled back, but you didn't. Your eyes slipped closed as you kissed him with a passion that scared you, after all, when would you get another opportunity to kiss the man? Sanji clearly wasn't expecting it, if the cute little noise he made was anything to go off. You relished the feeling of his lips against yours. They weren't chapped, which surprised you, both living on the sea. But, you supposed, if anyone was going to take care to make sure his lips were soft and kissable, it'd be Sanji.
You wish you could convey all your thoughts and feelings in the kiss; you're safe, you're loved, I'll follow you wherever.
I love you.
Regretfully you pulled back, both for air and out of guilt, you'd certainly taken advantage of the situation. Sanji chased your lips for a second before coming to and straightening. His beautiful eyes on yours in a moment, you watched him sigh, a more relaxed air about him. His eyes swept across the pub floor, anxiety rising when he couldn't find the soldier. You grabbed one of his hands, rubbing soothing circles into the top of his palm. Sanji's eyes snapped down to yours.
“He's gone.” You smiled warmly up at him. Sanji looked dazed, making you smile stretch to a grin. “He left about two minutes ago. It's okay Ji.”
Sanji wanted to say a thousand things, to thank you, to sing you praises, to cry and hold you close, thankful of your protection. Instead all he managed out was;
“You kissed me.”
You felt a light blush stain your cheeks, pointedly looking away from him. Sanji wanted to scoop you up and kiss you silly, you looked so cute when bashful.
“I needed to distract you, you were panicking.” You pouted dropping his hand, with narrowed eyes you snapped your gaze back to him. “Besides, you kissed me back.”
Staring up at Sanji took your breath away, he was regarding you with such genuine warmth. The intensity of his stare made you uncomfortable, and you made a move to excuse yourself. Sanji gently scooped your hand up, and held it against his chest between his hands. You blushed, looking up at him completely dazed.
“Love.” He paused. “(Name), I- thank you. You're so good to me.” Another pause, before he hammed it up. “And to experience a kiss from such a beauty? You're truly an angel fell from the heavens.”
He shot you such a cheeky smirk, his eyes sparkling, but you knew better. Sanji was a sweetheart, and yeah he could be a pervert, and a ladies’ man, and just a tad overdramatic, but he definitely played it up to protect himself. The feelings were hanging in the air unspoken; love, dedication, thankfulness. But it wasn't the time for that, neither of you wanted to have your hearts broken, brave on the battlefield does not always mean brave in love. But still, that stupid charming grin had you, hook, line, and sinker.
“Well my dear, if you ever need to distract me again...” He relished the laugh that escaped you. You pat his chest and moved your hand to delicately cradle his cheek.
“I'll make sure to keep that in mind. You might wanna watch yourself though, or you'll never pry me off you.”
Sanji chuckled, lovestruck. “Oh no, what a shame! You know I'm feeling kinda-”
You lightly swatted him on the cheek before he could finish, flustered but on cloud nine. “Alright loverboy, c'mon.”
“One more kiss?” He pouted, that boyish charm captivating you. He grinned when you pulled him down for a kiss.
You had aimed for a quick peck, but Sanji held you in place, peppering you in kisses as you giggled. He placed a last kiss on your lips, melting as you crushed him against you and kissed back with fervor. You pulled back with an audible smack.
“Wow.” He whispered, relishing in the love in your eyes.
“Now, c'mon, for real this time, handsome.”
You two didn't need to audibly say it right now, it was obvious you to regarded each other highly. The right day would come.
#one piece x reader#sanji x reader#black leg sanji x reader#vinsmoke sanji x reader#drabbles#i just love him so much man#i can imagine him inwardly freaking tf out at the idea of his crew finding out and hating him#ji doesnt wanna lose another family ;-;#n e way.... i love sanji#i have a lotta emotions about sanji#like girl....he wants everyone to be happy and he hides so mucb and i love him#once again im half asleep so this might be trash lololol i just wanna kiss him silly
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#girlblogging#coquette dollete#girl in pieces#girl interrupted#manic pixie dream girl#hell is a teenage girl#the virgin suicides#sofia coppola aesthetic#esoteric#sweetest girl in town#strawberry shortcake#cult of the lamb#ethel cain aesthetic#trailer park princess#pretty when you cry#he hit me and it felt like a kiss#lolita1997#alison dilaurentis#lizzy grant aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#this is what makes us girls#im just a girl#coquette#born to die#cowgrlcunt#girlrotting#girlhood#trash magic#girlrotter
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being haunted by the feeling that i’ll never fit in anywhere no matter how much i try and everyone is just tolerating my presence and secretly thinks i’m an annoying burden
#been specifically feeling this in a discord sever im in (the discorp)#especially in the patreon member channel because most of the people I have a problem with that have treated me weirdly are in there#i think i’ll just always feel like an outsider in general#a puzzle piece that will never find the puzzle it belongs to#in real life or online#trash rants
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eating? no thanks! i get my daily sodium intake from the blood on my hands
#locally hated#trailer park trash#ana loves you#religioncore#3d blog#slavic doll#girlhood#girl interrupted#girlblogging#ethel cain#this is what makes us girls#im just a girl#crazy girl#coquette angel#anor3c1a#my year of rest and relaxation#tw blood#god loves you#preachers daughter#fawn angel#angelcore#tw ed ana#2014 tumblr#hell is a teenage girl#catholic guilt#angel dust#waifspo#girl in pieces#religious imagery#manic pixie dream girl
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From the darkness, there is light.
#my art#art#digital art#sketch#concept art#bg3#bg3 shadowheart#baldur’s gate shadowheart#shadowheart bg3#shadowheart#bg3 fanart#bg3 art#baldur’s gate 3#baldur’s gate 3 fanart#baldur’s gate iii#baldurs gate fanart#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#artists on tumblr#GOD WHY DID IT END UP SO SUCKY#THE BORDER WAS GOOD AND THAT WAS IT#gonna make a trans parent png of the border for others to use bcs i think its cool#begging people to zoom in on this and at the same time NOT zoom in on this UNFILTERED PIECE OF GARBAGE#CRAP#ARGHOPJWRHIBLUGHFQRIU#why is it bad and why did i hold off on everything else for it#FUCKIGN SHIT#Ehe its fine nobody reads the tags i can put this here#TRASH TRASH TRASH QHWFIUHQIOW’#IM SORRY MY QUEEN
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Saw a comment describe killugon as 'born to be brothers, forced to be best friends'.
And I just have to say that, out of all the things that have never happened, that has never happened the most.
#if y'all look at your siblings that are within your age group with THIS level of heart eyes know that im actually concerned#i say within your age group because i totally get being 'smitten' with your baby sibling#im six and a half years older than the little fucker contaminating my room and i too look at him with pure adoration sometimes#but that's beside the point#because even then trust that i do not refer to him as my light nor do i wear a lovesick expression every time he crosses my mind#most of the time actually he's an annoying bug i want to squash. like when he greets me with 'hello you stupid piece of trash'.#like boy don't you doubt my willingness to beat you up if you don't behave yourself istg#okay enough my little brother has taken over my sacred tags#anyway what im saying is that these bitches are head over heals in love. they have the fattest crushes on each other.#you know how i know? because i WATCHED THE SHOW#their relationship is so far from brotherly it's insane how you even came to this conclusion#real talk though#obviously yall can interpret aspects of a story like characters themes relationships etc differently and ofc your opinion is valid#blah blah blah#all that crap#but don't expect me to take anyone who says this with their whole chest too seriously#because if you look at kg aka two adolescents that invented the term puppy love but also im-wholeheartedly-devoted-to-you and see brotherly#then i can't help you atp bro you're on your own with this one 😭#killugon#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#hxh#hunter x hunter#my little brother#gotta add him he played a key role in these tags
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sorry for lack of art
havent drawn in days and making this doodle caused me so much distress- have a thing i finished a while back going up later today but otherwise i dont know when im gonna get anything else out
couldn't even get a sad leo sketch complete without almost melting down </3
#sad•leonart#sona#sona art#felt bad for being so fucking quiet recently but also i feel like utter fucking trash#im so goddamn tired#so have this#honestly the only reason this blog is still here is cuz im too damn depressed to like anything else other than turtles atm#gonna stop rambling now before it turns into a full on vent#o7#also no anniverary art probably#because like hell im gonna contribute to my shitty feelings by putting spoons into a piece no one gives a shit about </3
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This is kind of rambling because I just really wish I saw more of this but whatever.
I wish I saw more stuff about Zoro's eye and the crew. I'm really interested in how that wound would have been handled by the crew.
The world already thinks the strawhats are fucking nuts, so I have the firm belief that they only let themselves be true, squishy humans with each other. Reindeer and skeleton included.
The rest of the world has seen them cry, bleed, near death, etc but the real stuff is for crew eyes only. The nightmares, the chronic pains, the panic attacks, the depression, the parts of healing that aren't pretty, etc.
Those belong to the crew. No one else gets to see that because being human in front of the world is different than be vulnerable in front of the world. And they love each other too much to let any of them be stripped bare for the world if they have anything to say about it.
I think of Zoro and Luffy as having the first real injuries of the crew. The point of no return injuries. The sealed their fate as pirates in blood and flesh injuries.
No one on the crew has lost anything quite like Zoro's eye. No one has lost any arms or legs, no lost fingers or toes, no lost of the senses like sight or hearing, and no truly horrific scars. Other than Zoro. And after the timeskip, Zoro and Luffy.
So Zoro missing an eye should have been a thing because this isn't something that heals. An eye doesn't grow back. The world changed for Zoro when he lost it (or whatever happened since we don't 100% know).
That's the injury of a human and Luffy and Zoro, and often Sanji, are seen as beyond human by so much of the world. Even the crew.
And that injury must have been fucking wild. Like so much there to unpack. The pain, the recovery, any infection, relearning how to live daily life with half your vision gone. That's a lot of time to be vulnerable.
It bothers the crew that they weren't there to cover his vulnerabilities like they should have been. They weren't there to do that for Luffy or Zoro. But this post is about Zoro, so that's what we're focusing on.
I have been brainstorming how I'd like to see the crew have to deal with this and I think a great way to make this into a hell of an idea for a fic would be way more simple than I was making it. I was originally thinking about shorting the timeskip, ignoring orders to stay separate, the wound happening closer to when they meet, etc.
But then I thought devil fruit. Duh.
What if the crew runs into a devil fruit user with the ability to recreate wounds? It'd have to be some type of time based power that would allow the user to touch the spot of a scar or other old injury and revert it back to the worst stage of it. Maybe it was when it was first received, a infection, etc.
It would work for other things too. The user notices someone doesn't have any glaringly obvious scars to focus on? Try the head, they probably had a concussion at some point. Try the arm, they've probably broken it at some point.
It also requires the user to revert the wound back to it's present state or it has to heal naturally all over again.
And someone who's fighting the strawhats with this power would go right for Luffy's chest scar. Take the captain down in one hit. He probably won't survive the wound again.
There's a couple ways I could see this playing out specifically with Zoro.
Either the user can't get Luffy and goes for the next best, Zoro's eye. (Or chest would be interesting. Maybe both)
Or they almost get Luffy but Zoro gets in the way. Thriller bark all over again.
I think that wound was nasty because I can't imagine Zoro losing an eye with a clean cut. Most importantly though is what stage it goes back to.
It's clearly not when he first got it. The wound is ragged and inflamed. Dried blood is holding the edges and the skin is stained a rusty color. Not that you can tell over all the bruising, big blooms of black and purple and yellow, that creep across his face and even down his neck.
It's a little terrifying.
But that's not even all of it. The wound fucks with a lot of stuff that they hadn't even thought of.
He's got constant, debilitating headaches and ringing in his ears. It makes basic things like focusing, walking, turning his head, etc all very hard and painful.
Loss of appetite due to pain and medication and chewing and even drinking all pull at the wound. So rapidly losing weight becomes a problem.
Sleep is almost impossible. His exhaustion slows the healing process.
Nausea and vomiting from the trauma, headaches and exhaustion. Even further loss of weight, energy, and necessary nutrients.
And once those settle enough, all the other issues become prominent.
Having to relearn balance and depth perception. Both in daily life and fighting.
Having to readjust for having his field of vision cut in half.
The general trauma. Honestly, I just need him flinching away sometimes when he just wakes up and someone comes in on his blind side. Only with them though, that's the only time he lets himself relax enough to be caught off gaurd or allow someone to surprise him.
The body remembers wounds like that. The mind remembers wounds like that. Zoro is a master at mind over matter stuff but even then, sometimes things are so deep and instinctive that it would be very hard to override those responses.
I want to see the crew reacting to it all.
The nights were Zoro stumbles up, pressing a hand to his eye, dripping sweat, and gasping for air because he managed to actually fall asleep, but in doing so forget to take pain medication before it was too late.
The days where getting him to eat something is the hardest battle the crew has had in days.
Chopper near tears with worry and fury. The rest of the crew in similar mindsets.
They find he sleeps best sitting against the wall with one of them, back supported and unable to roll into a painful position accidentally. His head resting on their shoulder and a careful, so so careful, hand to nudge him back if he starts to do something that will hurt.
He lets Chopper have full access to the wound, not even rejecting the pain medication and that alone speaks to the agony he's in.
They want to squirrel him away deep in the ship until he's better, he's too vulnerable anywhere else. It sets their teeth on edge and the idea of anyone seeing Zoro hurt and bleeding like this is unacceptable.
A healed wound to show the world is one thing, like the scar he had before the devil fruit user, and even a wound still healing, like Luffy's when he rang the bell after marineford, is different. Both of those are warnings. I'll come back stronger, you can't keep me down.
This is something else.
Someone hurt their swordsman. And they knew that of course, even when it was just a scar, but seeing it makes it real.
It makes something burn in their bellies with fury, wanting to snap their teeth at anything or anyone not crew.
It's a wild possessive and protective feeling. Vicious, a little blood thirsty, and demanding names. They want to know who did it.
Part of what makes Zoro Zoro is how he handles injuries and protects the crew. When he first got the wound he was by himself and probably hid away for a bit to lick his wounds before pushing himself back into everything too quick and with too little care.
So this time they want to care for it right, they want to care for him right.
The wound will heal with or without pain medication, but there's no reason to not make sure he's comfortable and supported.
He can sleep with or without someone, but if having someone there helps keep him in one spot all night and keeps the nightmares at bay, why would they let him sleep alone?
The bandages will be changed regardless, but if his hands shake less when someone else is helping him with the cleaning of the wound and the new bandages, why would they leave him to do it by himself?
It's not weakness, it's trust. It's love and vulnerability that belong to each other, not the world.
Being loved enough to be vulnerable is a privilege they'd never deny each other.
#lots of half ass ideas stuck in my head lately#one piece#zoro#luffy#sanji#nami#usopp#nico robin#franky one piece#brook one piece#tony tony chopper#jinbei#mugiwara pirates#straw hat crew#mugiwara crew#straw hats#more everyone loves zoro posts because im trash#setting sail with greyskyflowers
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Something I'll never understand is how apple elitists will find ANY excuse to bring up how they have [apple product] and you have [not apple product]
Like that annoying new guy that was in the breakroom and would not shut up (I get you're bored but it's 7am and we don't care), had walked past me and saw how small my phone is. It's not SMALL but it's not like the length and width of my hand, iPhones are like at least 1.5 the size now.
Anyway he was like "damn what kinda phone is that??" (Meaning what iphone is that) *sees the big SAMSUNG on the top "oh you got samsung. But I bet you USED to have an iphone before right?"
Why would you assume that?? That's such a fucking weird thing to say like unprompted to someone. And I was like no??? I've always had androids?? (And LG before smartphones lol) And it's like they always assume you didn't have a choice, and only got an android bc you couldnt get an iphone. Like no I think iPhones are pieces of garbage, I hate the way the app store works, and the only apple products I've ever had were ipod touches. I like being able to choose where my apps go and can download "non-approved" apps and shit. Bitch I CHOSE this phone bc I LIKE it. I only got my other phone (which IS iphone size) bc this one no longer gets service from the network I use. I use this one for everything but calls and texts, and my actual phone-phone for calls, texts, and sometimes youtube. I paid like $100 max for each phone, I ain't paying more than $150 for a phone that's gonna be slowed down by the company I bought it from in a planned obsolescence scheme to get me to drop another $500-$1000+ in a year or two.
But yeah apple superior you're right 🙄
#marquilla#i seriously do not understand the apple elitist mindset like iPhones are ugly lol like oh boy it has an engraved piece of fruit on the back!#gotta get a specific case that shows that off! i dont get the flex financially?? like you just seem like a dumbass to me if you spend that#much on a phone that youre gonna replace in a year or two like... i dont get it#thats not to say anyone with an iPhone is a loser bc i know you can get refurbished older models for a lot cheaper than they new ones and i#know some people do keep their iphones til they dont work anymore. i dont have a problem with that at all#my problem is with the people who go out of their way to snub people who dont have iphones or people who don't have the LATEST (within 2#generations) of iphones. like THOSE are the people im talking ab#my beef is with the people who buy apple as a flex#especially mac books lmao those things are absolutely trash products my god
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i wish i was able to enjoy robins new look for what it represents (her journey of healing from two decades of trauma and a call back to who she was a child before the buster call) instead of being tired of people acting as if she’s been “gone” just because they didn’t like her design (which was also part of her journey of healing her trauma) because it didn’t match what they thought she be
#i really do love what her going back to her bangs symbolizes but i have to stay out of the tags#bc i really don’t care for people who trash on the post ts design and it is basically just full of people celebrating a ‘win’ that#really shouldn’t be a ‘win’ because there was nothing wrong with robins post ts design in the first place#it just sucks i feel like a lot of ppl clung onto who she was when she wasn’t healing and was still traumatized and not letting ppl in#and don’t understand that that wasn’t HER you can’t go back to that because going back to that represents her character reverting#anyways. i think im gonna try to let it go and stop posting so much about it and i appreciate everyone being patient with me as i#our mr salt#one piece spoilers#op spoilers
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San Francisco, 1947—a city where sin run deep and secrets are whispered on every corner.
“Wow…” The word slipped out as I stared at the jewel, mesmerized by the way it seemed to absorb the light, reflecting only the deepest, most mysterious shades.
Wednesday leaned down, her face so close to mine that I could feel the warmth of her sweet breath against my cheek. Our reflections stared back at us, two women bound by a strange, magnetic connection that defied explanation.
“Wow, indeed. You look exquisite.”
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the mirror, from the image of us, so close yet so far from understanding what lay between us. My heart ached with a longing I couldn’t name, a feeling that twisted and coiled inside me, thrilling and terrifying.
Black Dahlia's Web - Chapter Five
#oh look im not a piece of trash because i updated#but also i am because there's no new graphic SORRY#fic: BDW#wenclair#wenclair fic#ao3 writer
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What is it with metalcest shippers and their
GODLY
art abilities?? Obviously I don't support any of those ships, but just, metalcest shippers artskills are so?? Like their art pieces will look so drop dead gorgeous, so ethereal, so magical and whimsical ass pictures, with the most stunning anatomy and proportions I've ever seen, with art skills the gods themselves would cry and yet
They do..
THAT
With it?? Like... Its so sad, the waste of potential, bro WHY, make ME have that artskills, I'll actually create good pieces with it, actual good art with good meaning, PLEASEEE
#im using their art as reference pieces now#not the ships obviously#brother ewwww#but the way they draw i mean#trust me I'll be gagging ugh#BUT LIKE?? SOMEONES GOTTA MAKE GOOD USE OUT OF THAT TRASH#metal family#anti proshitter#proshitters dni#fuck proshitters#im stealing their art/j
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one thing I dislike about the take that Dutch has ~always been that way~ and just kinda acted sane (as far as that works) for +20 years is that it paints Hosea as a complete fool.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think Hosea is completely untouchable, out of this world, a god amongst humans but he isn't stupid. As far as we are concerned he is a master at seeing through people, he reads them and tricks them like no other.
He's very smart and observant, often the one to take a step back and think things through thrice before investing into them and somehow you want to tell me he looked at loud, boisterous, energetic (supposedly manipulative) Dutch at the very beginning and thought "my god this guy is full of shit"?
Now, we don't really have any insight on how they really were before Blackwater or even years back when they took in Arthur but I truly and utterly believe that Dutch was making a real effort to do good, from the bottom of his heart, that he really tried to be better and ultimately failed. (and yeah, surely partly bc it stroked his ego but nonetheless)
Like, the first time we see, or rather hear that Dutch may be a little silly is in Colter, right after Blackwater when it was revelaed that he killed an innocent woman. This was also the very first severe stress situation we have "seen" Dutch in. He got lead on, maybe even set up after what sounded like a long period of luck and success and now him and everyone tagging along is in danger and everything has gone to shit.
The one that then seemed increasingly concerned and insisted on knowing what happened was Hosea. My thoughts are that Hosea knew that Dutch tended to act rash in stressful situations and that there was something nagging on his conscious, telling him that something went horribly wrong. Because he knew Dutch.
Dutch on the other hand started to grow desperate. He didn't just lose a ton of money and got the law after them all once again, but he also lost 3 members of the gang. 3 people to who he promised freedom and a good life gone just like that + he also started to feel the others losing hope and maybe he was confronted with the idea that maybe what he was doing wasn't as good and great as he has thought throughout all these years.
So he grows defensiv and even reckless because no, it can't be, him facing the fact that his time was not only over but he probably wasted all these years was a tad too painful, both for his ego but also for his being.
As time goes on he keeps slipping more and more since everything he does just seems to blow up right back into his face. The more he tries to fix the more to shit it goes and the desperation just seems to grow and grow.
So he clings to every little thing that keeps on making him believe that his cause is still good, that he's still doing right so he comes up with nonesense plans like Tahiti.
But most importantly, his probably biggest reminder still was Hosea. As long as Hosea was still there, still by his side it would be alright. Yeah, Hosea nags him all the time and they bicker and fight all the time, but he's still there, so that means he still believes in Dutch. With Hosea he could do it.
And then Hosea dies.
And the failure at the bank is so much worse than all the ones before because this time it wasn't Dutch that set things up, or Micah, or anyone else but it was Hosea. The very person that grounded him, that he clung to desperately to show him that his efforts are not in vain.
The disaster at the bank didn't only cost him Hosea, his life long partner, the person he trusted the most, but also the trust from the rest of the gang. John was already doubting him for some time now and now the others started to, too.
And maybe, maybe him doing all this what he thought of good these past years, saving and taking in people, wasn't the best for them at all. Maybe he doomed them more than anything.
But no, Micah is still at his side. And Bill. And Javier.
Well, if there's some people still believing in him then there has to be some truth to it, no?
Maybe Micah is right, maybe John is the rat. Or Abigail. Or Arthur.
Maybe all the others are just ungrateful. Maybe he gave them all and the moment he slips and fails they just leave?
Hosea woulnd't have. Hosea stayed with him.
Micah stayed with him.
And as he was on that mountain, looking at the boy he raised as his own, barely able to breath and all beaten up, telling him "I gave you all I had", that was the first time the realization of him not being as great, as good, as he hoped to be, as he tried to be, fully hit him and now he couldn't do anything but accept it. No denying it anymore, no deluding it. Just the cold truth.
#character study#kind of?#dutch van der linde#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#hosea matthews#tbh i dont think him hitting his head was the cause of him going silly#he was always just a little insane and just wanted to proof himself#this is not a dutch defend post btw any of u accuse me of that and im taking ur grandmas kneecaps#he was quite hot when he drowned bronte tho ill give him that#also tbh maybe him hitting his head was kind of part of his madness but absolutely not all of it#annies brainjuice#i wrote this in my free period looking like a piece of trash so if u see any mistakes in this or something go die idk
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Pls accept my humble offering to the fandom
#my racoon hands can only produce trash#im sorry and you're welcome#one piece#one piece fanart#buggy the clown#The two titles for Buggy are so inspiring to me. He can be a Flashy Fool... Or a Genius Jester. So versatile.
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