#im a cat boy now >:3
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avenging 2 ppl cuz why not:3
"I'm a cat boy :3"
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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!
#mine#cats#i was like losing it over th colouring yesterday like this SUCKS and then looked at it 2day n was like. anyway#ive been unstoppable since ive figured out how 2 do glowy things#me n my partner went ice skating this evening !! so so fun#i love how girls will just peacefully hang out in the centre ice doing spins n boys will fast and furious skate around at 100mph#like we dont need to be doing all that#as soon as i see a boy w hockey skates enter the ice i am now leaving the ice#anyway....i got a slightly dubious fantasy audiobook 2day we will....see...how it is#whenever i read a fantasy book written by a man my hackles are up i am scenting the air i am growling#have i finished assassins fate u ask.....no :3#its been sitting at 30% for like 4 months i cant bring myself 2 read more KJBDSSK#there is like so much book left. so much that can go wrong#i will finish it soon i prommy i prommy...n then listen 2 th tawny man audiobooks :3#ngl this fitz n fool trilogy isnt super doing it 4 me im not finding it as Invigorating for sm reason#still good !! but def my least fave of th three trilogies#anyway. i am going 2 bed
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*catboys ur shounen protag*
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#boss shes drawing shirtless catboys.............#listen i just bought the mewji plush ive been in a Mood ok#u all can forgive me im sure#i rly liked the original mewji sketch that i did last night but fr some reason when i went to clean it i could not get th expression??#it just looked so off and kind of uncanny and not like yuuji at all#so i scapped it :) hes less scrunchy faced now#also. gomenyasai i am still guilty of doubling up on human/cat ears....#espECIALLY with a haircut like yuujis it is beyond me how to omit them#if anyone can make it work u r a better artist than i#anyway im so happy the trend of like. putting ur ref pic next to the finished piece exists#adds a lil layer of visual interest i think !!!#plus i for one think its neat seeing what other ppl use fr ref#i realized while drawing this tht its been a minute since my last boy without a shirt on#every time i get to draw torso muscles i am like i shld do this more often !!! and then i never do#bc the only thing i like more than rendering muscles is a cute fit GHJFJHFGSHg#anyway itadori mewji ladies and gays enjoy <3#i have ! places 2 b !#'why were u late' . uh .
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konig is very good for ghost and soap in the soapbox saga finale <3
read the full comic (29 pages) on patreon!
#drawing this kiss was honestly one of my favourite parts#but yeah omg i spent the last 2-3 days just committing to getting this finale done#its by far the longest 'episode' in the series and im very proud of how it came out#also this comic series ended on such a sweet note despite the filth#love my boys#also the soapbox saga has technically ended but im definitely not abandoning these three#im far too attached to konig by now#wet cat and his two doms#konig#ghost#simon riley#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#john mactavish#soapbox#soapbox saga#giragi art
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heyy ladies...... i got the hypertana swag (smirks)
#phighting!#roblox phighting#hypertana#hyperlaser phighting#katana phighting#HYPERTANA NATION ARISE!!!!!!!!#im so sorry#im sick asf rn#also tired and just played like 20 something rounds of phighting with my best friend and boyfriend but whatever idc it was fun blehhhh :P#also i think im becoming a hyperlaser main now. oh boy (i already main rocket and vinestaff 💀)#im not one of those weird roblox furries (you know the specific ones im talking about) i just like cats... </3 /srs#layn says stuff
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I took this photo of my boy, Miguel, this morning at 6:45am. I knew this would be the last morning I would have waking up with him. He has always slept in my bed and I have always woken up to him nearby. Every single day for the past 15 years and 9 months. And now I have to go to sleep without him near my face or on my back. Not even under my blankets with me. And I will wake up without him. No weight on my legs or meowing for breakfast.
I mostly fear that moment tomorrow morning when I first wake up and I still believe he is here. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt so fucking much because in that moment I will be happy again. But it will come and go so fast. I almost want to believe that maybe if I do believe strongly enough, if I can trick myself enough into truly believing he is still here and just in the other room, then maybe the universe will realize its mistake. ‘That person believes their cat is still alive so it must be true! We must have made a mistake!’ And the universe will plop Miguel back into my arms, healthy and alive and purring. I wish it worked like that.
I miss him so much. And the thing is, I’ve been missing him. He’s been a little down for a while now. But it got worse around September 15th and by the 20th, he wasn’t eating and was stumbling around. Falling and getting cold. I was so fucking scared. I cried into his fur, telling him over and over “I’m not ready. Please don’t break my heart. I’m not ready.”
We got him to a vet and he was extremely anemic. They could barely draw blood. But all the tests came back negative. The only thing they couldn’t test for at the time was cancer. They gave him a bunch of medicine and we took him home. We bought him joint meds and iron supplements and senior cat food and treats. Some high calorie snacks to help him gain weight. And he was better for a while. He finally ate some kibble! Which he hadn’t eaten in years. He had completely switched to wet food.
So Miguel was eating kibble and drinking water and taking his meds and doing good. He got to see my daughter turn 9 years old. He got to see my sister’s kids one last time. Because they had recently moved away but unexpectedly dropped by just a few days ago. But this past week he got bad again. Doing the same stuff he was before. Not eating. Drinking lots of water. And, I failed to mention, but while he was eating and ‘getting better’ he was having trouble with leaking poop.
It was hard but this whole week, and really the whole extra month we had with him, I’ve been thinking real hard on his whole situation.
Love hurts. It fucking hurts. Because all love comes with suffering. I must suffer because I love him and I didn’t want to force him to stay alive just to avoid the pain of being without him. So I made the choice today, after having him by my side all last night, to euthanize him.
I had him stay in my bed one last time. I didn’t care if he made the bed messy. I have a washing machine. I just needed him to know that I love him and that I was going to take care of him. And I think he knew. He kept rubbing his head against me and I petted him all night. Talked to him. Told him everything that was on my mind and how I’m still not ready, not 100 percent ready, but no one ever is and I wasn’t going to have him go another day and night with an empty belly, falling down everywhere. I thanked him for the extra month. That it really helped me get ready. And that he can go play with Molly now. (My daughter’s kitten that died back in January of this year)
I made him a sweater. Hand knitted it. He always loved wearing clothes. It was a beautiful, warm day. A perfect last day. Miguel’s last meal was on Friday. It was a pork street taco for our local Mexican restaurant. I always get the pork ones on Friday because they are on sale. I always order an extra one for him. I’m glad he got to eat that. That he had the energy to eat that day. The extra month I had him, he got to eat all of his favorite foods. Spaghetti, pork tacos, turkey, pepperoni, bacon, ham. My boy loved ham. And anytime we ordered a bacon cheeseburger he would come over, begging for a bit of bacon. His favorite snack was pepperoni slices. Second favorite snack was strips of ham or turkey lunch meat.
I’m going to share some pictures of my boy now.
And I apologize for this long, sad post. Especially since I haven’t been around Tumblr for a long while. I’ve been with him. My boy. My Miguel.
#he kept looking at me with these eyes all last night#I think he knew because those eyes felt like he was begging me for something but not for food or a snack#I just kept telling myself all this month that ‘when you don’t know what to do you do what you can’#my boy is gone. and idk what to do now#I have 3 other cats to care for and of course they will feel Miguel’s absence#he was their father in a way. he raised them#im so broken#I knew he would die one day especially when he started getting older and older#I always referred to it as ‘the day he breaks my heart’#but I’m calling it ‘the day he went to play’ now because he didn’t break my heart#he would never#and he didn’t want to#he kept trying to walk and stand and be a cat but it wasn’t working and he wasn’t going to get better and I could let him hurt like that#it very likely was cancer which means he was hurting even if he didn’t let me know#my cat#my Miguel#my boi#personal#tw pet death#tw pet loss
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i wont be fostering da kittens anymore cuz my bf and my roommates are taking one each so. i win i can still see them and not be a foster fail yippee
#the boy is now named jasper so thats cute. im glad i get to see them grow up :3#the girl kitty is still named casca she had her first vet appointment today she did so good#cats
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I'm tired of dreaming about my dad. I know it's part of processing, but I am just so tired.
#speculation nation#negative/#sometimes theyre nice dreams where i have him back. except i still wake up sad.#sometimes theyre dreams where im trying to prevent what i know is going to come. but without fail i wake up. and he's already dead.#and then there are dreams like the one i just woke up from. where i know he's dead and im feeling the full force of grief once again#bawling and bawling in-dream. with enough force that it wakes me up.#and of course. i wake up sad from these too.#it makes me think about that passage i wrote for ITNL. well over a year ago. before the Year Of Death even began.#where i wrote about vash dreaming of wolfwood. with a similar sort of vibe to this.#i wrote that inspired by the death of my grandma. who i was close with and greatly troubled by her death.#even that had nothing on my dad though. no loss has ever felt this severe before.#it's been 5 months and sometimes i feel okay. but then i feel the ache deep in my chest again#and i know im never going to be fully free from this pain.#i want to go back to the person i was before i lost my dad. to before i lost my uncle.#i want to go back to early may of last year. where life seemed hopeful and i was minimally touched by death.#only 2 deaths from people close to me. 3 deaths if you count my childhood cat.#now im up to 5 deaths of people who were close to me. and 7 if you count my sweet baby boys.#can you believe that? 4 deaths ive grieved in the past year (and a bit). 2 more deaths of ppl i knew but wasnt close to.#and 2 of them were so genuinely life-altering that they changed me as a person. my uncle and then my dad.#i still dont know who i am now. i feel so lost. i look out at the piles of boxes of my dad's stuff and i feel so overwhelmed.#im supposed to go through them. i havent touched them in months. i dont know how to even begin.#and so i try my best to keep up with my cleaning and my schoolwork. it's about all that i can manage
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i know there's not rly a way to replicate it in game (sans mods ig) but i rly wanna make my durge look a bit like a hobgoblin
#pidge babbles#oc: threnody roth#idk i just like when tieflings look like something other than human/elf + demon#would love if you could like#treat it a bit like half-elves#choose 'tiefling' then choose base race#i know its a lot to ask for so i understand why its NOT that why but like!!!#give me different tief styles!!!#also i would like tieflings that are descended from/linked to different demons/devils#baphomet tieflings when!!!!#got hobgobs on the brain lately ngl#i will get to play my terrible terrible boy after the new year and im VERY excited#first time playing an evil character too!!!#im excited <3#i like the cat nose....#want my durge to look like an insane feral cat#wyll fed him once (was affectionate) and now he's getting carcasses dropped outside his tent#its a sign of devotion#he wants to protect you#epitome of of 'i would kill for you. *please* let me kill for you.'#maybe when im finally able to own and play the game the mod scene will be booming enough to give me what i desire
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drinking is annoying. not because of any intoxicated shenanigans, but I hate having to piss every 10 minutes. it really kills the vibe smh my head bro
#bestie im trying to party by myself at home on 3 glasses of wine with my cat. and i cannot do that when nature is callimg#apologies if you consider this tmi but also you know what u signed up for when you followed me#my kidneys are staging a coup rn fuck that shit just keep it in my blood system for a while itll be alright#i had my last glass a little too fast and as im typing this i can feel it kicking in oh boy baby that wasnt good#i am lighter than a featherweight. which is good bc its cheap but also i want to fucking vibe not submit to biological demands#i will shut the fuck up now i am so sorry im gonna close tunblr bc the rants are bubnling up#elkk.txt
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Was stimming so hard I genuinely worried I managed to break my own neck for a second
#my back hurts now >:'(#anyways ive been feeling a special kind of mentally ill the past few days#as if spending $200 on sims 4 expansion packs doesnt say enough#BUT GUYS I USED TO BE SUCH A HORSE GIRL WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND THEY HAVE HORSES NOW AND MY INNER CHILD GOES YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH#*deep breath* dont make this about sims *more deep breaths* no sims no horses#I OWN A FFUFUCKING RANCH YALL IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF WHEN I WAS LITTLE#the horses! they are SO pretty!#sim 3 is still my baby though 4 is just a side bitch ✋🙄#tried to move everything to steam so i deleted origin and then... had to download it again#I FUCKING HATE ORIGIN RAAAAAAHHHHH#im feeling so very hmmnnhggnrggg#shitpost#shitposting#stimming#stimblr#forgive my tags i dont really explore much of Tumblr#i come to the restaurant and the menu is all tags for my hot elven boys i either crush on or get severe gender envy from#my dash is seriously just cats and elves and im not about to go change that okay#augh i have no idea what to tag this#like stimming is a thing for a lot of disorders and while i probably have some of them and just haven't been diagnosed i dont wanna give off#the impression that im part of that “community”#but hey im a real hit with autistic ppl apparently since pretty much all of my old friends were autistic and we all vibed good#probably just means im somewhere on the spectrum too considering one of them initially approached me BECAUSE they thought i was autistic#them: hey i know this might sound offensive but i mean this nicely. are you autistic too?#me with two chew necklaces in my mouth rubbing my feet on the carpet trying to focus and failing miserably: fuck if i know#look ive grown up with autistic ppl my whole life so ive never really thought to research. its just been... a normal thing to me?#so i dont know a lot but i do know either i fit the critera or ive just subconsciously snatched traits from my childhood bestie#the amount of times I've been asked if i am autistic though is... well its certainly made me notice my behaviors more#and WOW have the rants in tags seriously derailed today#i love writing in tags its like a little secret message for little secret tag readers
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I think I'm starting to draw hands (and paws) a little differently.
Here have some practice doodles.
#like im starting to draw 4 fingers and a thumb now instead of just 3 fingers and a thumb#idk hopefully its not weird#thoughts#multifandom#sketch doodles#practice#art practice#hand practice#jack stauber's opal#opal claire#mirror man#warriors#warrior cats#wc jayfeather#clay puppington#but only his hands#maybe even Orel and Doughy's hands? 👀#maybe..#i was drawing the gay boys from moral orel when i came across the idea to change it
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uhh hi im back with more art :3 this time its some characters from a minecraft server im in. its called castsmp very cool. the purple guy is mine. his name is treeboy and i love him dearly. also ignore the fact my pfp is from bugs life im matching with the person that owns the fox boy (name of kurt). lyrics in the second image are from boys will be bugs by cavetown (it is funny because the two in that image are called bugduo.)
anyways sorry for disappearing for the entire summer im gonna do that again i just wanted to share the silly guys that live in my brain. bye!!
#castsmp#art#oc art#minecraft oc#minecraft art#minecraft#treeboy castsmp#kurt castsmp#silly minecraft server im in. very goofy#i swear the fox and cat boys dont hate eachother. i swear.#im not lying (lie)#im going to disappear for like 3 months again now#bugduo castsmp
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They're remaking og style beanie babies and they're named after the original but with a II after 😭 like the gorilla is Bongo II 🥺 family lineage
#i saw them at cracker barrel aggdgdgd i was gonna get one but i didnt see any i really wanted unfortunately#now if i saw Claude II or Dipper II id buy em in a heartbeat 👀 i need more claudes sgdggdgdgd#i have two claudes rn and they're in front of the crab tank watching the boys aggsgdgsgd sometimes i move them to fuck with em bc im mean#we have a shitload of beanies and we used to have them in a box in the basement and our late cat bella when she was little would sleep on#them 🥺 it was so cute sgdgdgdg now we use them to decorate the bathroom#we have like 3 scoops and a baby scoop out rn bc it's summer#ANYWAY fuck ty warner but i do love me some beans#marquilla
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photo dump from weekend
#ft. my brother's cats ���#my boys lost against my 2nd most hated team in the league yesterday </3#im now 2-1 when im there#last photo is cooked because of my brother's phone 😔#.txt
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also me and my sims have bonded deeply theyve got a whole backstory that i cant rly represent well in the sims but its rly cute TO ME
#its my friend andrea and my friend iza. and also my friend zoryal but thats a cat* so we arent talking abt it. (idr if its a boy or girl.#sorry zoryal....) anywaysss andrea just graduated collegeee and shes finally gonna move forward in her career#shes an astronaut you see. SHES LSO PREGNANT!! im playing with super insanely long impractical way too long lifespans LOL. so she will be#pregnant for a while (21 days in fact.)#but im so excited 4 the babyyy. yay :] um yeah and then my friend IZA known as isabella to humanity but her actual name is izaribe. shes my#special princess the backstory is that she was basically a vanlife tiny living girl but for aliens#so she had like a refurbished escape pod and she was just essentially sightseeing the solar system#but then she crashed into a satellite and crashed on EARTH/simworld specifically in andreas yard#now this is huge bc one thing abt miss andrea is shes obsessed with aliens and space and all of it hence astronaut. so yeah#and basically they became roommates and andrea taught her simlish and like how to blend in better and also iza has her little alien cat* an#then they become in lesbians with eachother.... and now theyre having a BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! huge day for beautiful girl (me)#* it isnt actually a cat . something far more sinister . by which i just mean alien. its smooth like frog texture it has 4 ears 3 eyes#2 tails and Possibly 6 legs but i havent decided yet. little thang#i cant do the 6 legs in sims but everything else he is. hes also green#i literlly have his breed in cas listed as Little alien thang.#oh and iza is a travel critic/blogger if you were curious. she rly loves learning new things abt earth/simworld and she loves travelling#shes also rly into languages you see...#they arent married yet im thinking theyll get married when the babies a bit older so the baby can attend the wedding :]
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