#im Very nervous this is a new job and i dont know the routines well so i will likely be exhausted at least this week. but ill try my best

[notomorrows]

💌 > mun post.

just a heads up ... school starts tomorrow and i work with very little kids so my activity might be a li'l more sporadic than it already is because things are gonna be So Busy. but i still need a break so pls feel free to message me for plotting or just vibing tbh!! my discord is also available upon request if that's easier.

[atzfiles]

getting to know jeong yunho

hi! i will be looking into yunhos natal chart and share some of the information i have gotten out of it! thanks to yunho, we know the exact time he was born! i am not entirely sure if the place of birth is that exact though. so as always, this is not 100% accurate and i am not saying i know everything about astrology. this is a hobby of mine which i taught myself.

Sun Aries 

aries is the first sign of the zodiac which shows in their characters

they’re always first to start and always first to finish

aries people are natural athletes which, in my opinion, fits to yunho quite nicely

they cannot sit still for longer periods of time

their natural instinct is to use their bodies to get things done

they live a “simple” live, dont like long/drawn out moments and they also dont like planning ahead

aries sun are known for being direct, straightforward and uncomplicated

they also tend to live in the moment

whatever happens right now is most important to an aries

this trait can make them very impatient but also highly innovative 

aries suns are also very brave 

they dont like the long way to a goal, they need to take the quickest route

they also have some childlike qualities which makes them real charmers

yunho has a strong personality, entrepreneurial spirit, ambitious, self-willed and stubborn

possible downsides of an aries sun: very nervous, impulsive, wasteful, provoking and restless

Sun in V

yunho wants to be recognized for what he is doing

he has a lot of unique and special qualities and he wants people to pay attention to those

he has a flair for drama and sports (now we all know what sorta high school student he was lmao)

yunho is proud of the fact that he has such a positive outlook on life

expressing himself brings him happiness

he needs to be careful because sometimes those things can make him look like an attention seeker to others

188 Conjunction Sun in Mercury

he owns a lot of mental energy because his ego and mind are on the same level

yunho is very intelligent and he takes pride in that

he also loves to communicate with other people

he talks and expects others to listen but he himself can have a hard time listening to others, that doesnt mean he dominates every conversation

and here you can see yet again that he has great joy in expressing himself

he studies best when reading over the material rather than listening (to a teacher for example)

this also comes from the strong need to communicate

yunho cant listen and absorb information well, he has to act on it

he has his own opinions and those are set

very independent thinker

if not listened to, he can get quite butthurt

he also cant handle criticism too well when it comes to his own opinions

he has a very witty, bashful and playful sense of humor

272 Conjunction Sun in Jupiter

extremely generous, helpful, good-hearted, well-informed, friendly and possesses strong morals

seems like luck is always on his side

he attracts good and positive things like a magnet

yunho is not very competitive which, as a result, is the reason why a lot of people like him

he also loves to travel because he is interested in foreign places and people

he has a lot of faith in life and people 

he does believe in orders and rules and generally dislikes people that tend to break the rules or even go against the law

very impatient with the wrong people around

he can be trusted very well, is sincere and is good at keeping promises

as mentioned before, very optimistic 

laughs very easily

240 Sextile Sun in Neptune

very sensitive and dreamy

strong appreciation for music

he is naturally very compassionate

very open minded; realizes that there is more to the world than whats in front of his eyes

yunho is attracted to spiritual subjects which works in favor for musicians and artists

he can be taken advantage of because he feels strongly for those who are suffering 

very humanitarian; adores animals

very imaginative, inspired and emotional 

Moon in Gemini

people who have their moon in gemini tend to be very witty and charming

but they can also become very moody and irritable, especially at home or with family

very curious 

a certain nervousness and worry are also known for lunar gemini

he needs way more stimulation than other people

there is a lot going on inside of him

here we can also see his urge to express himself again

lunar gemini think and talk a lot

they like their homes but tend to hate housework

yunho can get a bit messy

he does like improving his home though

re-organizing is something he seems to enjoy

very easily bored

is in touch with his own emotions but he can struggle with handling others complicated emotions

inside the family he is the one getting everyone together for a meeting

doesnt like repetitive routines

yunho likes having to do a lot of stuff

very sociable, friendly and talkactive

comfortable around a lot of people and can speak well in front of crowds

very open to new ideas

wants to talk about problems as soon as possible

sharp intellect

-57 Square Moon in Mercury 

his head and heart get in the way of each other

he can be too emotional or too logical

can be very jealous and possessive

can sometimes feel the need to change partners quickly because he gets bored

imaginative sense of humor

can be hypersensitive because of mood swings

because of the what he talks, yunho tends to misrepresent himself

very happy when he can escape in his own little world 

cant find his ideal world on the outside so he creates his own, imaginative world

loves drama but reacts negatively when he is the one getting criticism 

Mercury in Pisces

soaks up feelings and moods from the people around him

which can affect his own mood quite drastically 

very tactful, tries not to offend people

15 Trine Mercury in Lilith 

can get quite provocative in communications

sees flaws very quickly

Venus in Taurus 

likes sensual surroundings

looks like he would be a satisfying lover/partner

needs to be able to depend on his partner

can become very possessive of his partner

he needs “hands on” expressions of love

loyal

cant get pushed into a relationship

likes comfortable things

he needs a lot of time

his partner would need a lot of patience

“love arrives slowly, but with force”

Venus in VI

he wants to help sick and poor people all the time

wants a job in a medical or social setting

likes being of service to his partner

goes to extreme lengths so always be available for his partner

he isnt ‘showy’ with his love/bad at expressing it but much rather shows it by his availability, doing practical things for his partner or other thoughtful things

pays attention to small details

he is scared that, if the relationship he is currently in ends, he might not be able to find better

-224 Opposition Venus in Mars

from affairs over to full blown relationships; love is what gets this boy out of bed

this can get challenging in youth

he can have a hard time finding a relationship that meets his expectations

very creative

passion for romance is often channeled in his creative output

prone to have love-hate relationships (the fanfics have been right all along)

can get angry quickly but that anger disappears just as fast as it came

likes truth and justice

he never plays false, his sentiments are deep and sincere

might be into someone older because he appreciates peoples intelligence 

-95 Square Venus in Neptune

his ideals are not always easy to achieve 

easy going

yunho is in love with being in love

very romantic

can be a little too romantic; his romantic dreams might get shattered by the reality of relationships

sees what he wants to see rather than what really is

clings to romantic delusion which can be very dangerous and unhealthy

tends to devote his all to someone who is unreachable

he is also prone to loving someone who treats him badly all while he is clinging to an idealized image of his partner

he thinks that loving someone requires self-sacrifice 

:((

Mars in Scorpio

likes to challenge himself to do the impossible

keeps his cool on the surface very well

does not let people in easily 

scorpio in mars is known for having the strongest sexual stamina

even though he tends to dislike people who break the rules, he often fantasizes about breaking taboos

he like the scenario of their partner giving into them, wants his partner completely and will do absolutely anything for them

im sweating

his sexual appeal is strong enough to get what he wants

very jealous, doesnt want to share

doesnt find pleasure in compromises: needs to hear either yes or no

constantly tests himself and others

thinks that life isnt fair  

Mars in XII

puts all of his energy into his working life

likes to research

jobs like a doctor, teacher, police officer would fit him well

he should try to give things a real shot instead of feeling defeated instantly 

he can handle a lot of things by himself in his own unique ways

works more for others than himself

ignores his own needs and desires for others which secretly makes him very angry

takes time for him to warm up to a new sexual partner

likes to solve problems

likes to overcome obstacles

he sometimes can seem cold when he is in his work-mindset

-117 Square Mars in Uranus

tends to be eccentric and too headstrong, impatient

Jupiter in Aries

attracts good things in life

he is initiating, inspiring, enthusiastic and brave

likes doing things on his own

likes games

gets distracted easily

lucky in love and his profession

adores children

generous 

yunho likes helping people in difficulty

Saturn in Taurus 

dislikes greedy people

needs to learn that he is also deserving of good things in life

likes precision

a true worker

possesses all the necessary qualities to be successful in the medical field

Uranus in Aquarius

gets overly excited when starting a task but quickly loses interest

this can give others a banal impression of him

doesnt like routines

-10 Square Uranus Lilith

he can have difficulty finding a peaceful love life because he is the type to fall in love at first sight

seeks adventures which can be harmful to his relationship

Neptune in Aquarius

generosity 

solves other peoples problems just to see them happy

cold facts are hard for him to absorb#

he can get quite nostalgic

Pluto in Sagittarius

love and sexuality are idealized

Ascendent in Scorpio

he has a lot of presence

their manners command respect and he lets people know he shouldnt get pushed around

very powerful and determined 

he can look right through people which can make him very intimidating 

he often gets confused when he earns such strong reactions from people though

yunho likes to read between the lines

values his privacy a lot, so much that it can even cause paranoia

he feels the strong urge to always be in control of his environment 

he plans out every move very carefully and lets no one look into his plans

he is drawn to down to earth and natural partners on which he can rely on

he needs full commitment because flighty partners make his patience run thin

House II in Capricorn

he sees spending and making money as an adventure which can cause financial risks for him

nothing is left to a chance

likes to calculate his plans and dissects them slowly

House IV in Aquarius

he may leave the family home very early on

wants a life that is out of the ordinary 

doesnt like traditions 

House VIII in Gemini

this placement is known for making artistic people generally very successful

House X in Leo

great leadership qualities

the way he is seen by society grows more important to him as he gets older

wants surround himself with equally artistic/influentiual people

if you really read this far...god bless u lmao

i tried keeping this as short as possible, leaving out some constantly repetitive traits and placements and trying to combine his placements rather than to dive into each one individually. please dont forget that i am doing this purely out of fun and interest. My ask box/messages are always open if you want to talk or have questions! please also let me know which member you want me to analyze next :)

[taki118]

Young Justice has Always had a Character Problem

And that is it has too many. 

It wasn’t too noticeable in season 1. Sure the writers obviously had their favorites that they tended to focus on but for the most part everyone got their time in the spot light and all the characters had the same or similar goals so all was good. In the build up to season 2 fans had hoped the next season would focus on the characters that didnt get as large a spotlight in S1...

Then it was announced it was a time skip and we’d get a new team 

Well ok it’d be like an anthology thing focus on a different group doing a different thing each season and ep 1 of S2 certainly FEALT like that focusing on new characters Lagoon Boy, Tim Drake and BLue Beetle except thats not what followed. 

The old team from season 1 was still the main focus with only a few new members really getting anything to do. And yet the writers still wanted us to care about these new characters. 

Like here let me use TIm Drake as an example. 

So S2 he’s introduced as not the second Robin but the third with Jason having died before him. He’s given his first chance at leading a team and is obviously nervous but gets the job done and comes out the ep better than he started. Now you’d THINK the writers would follow this show how he’s different from Dick, how the person who last had his mantle dying effected him (Maybe that being joined with the main plot) BUT NOPE this is literally the last time Tim has any kind of focus on him. He’s scene in the background from time to time and other characters talking ABOUT him but nothing really happens with Tim. Until the final ep of S2 where in its revealed by Miss Martian that he’s been developing feelings for Wonder Girl and finally asked her out. OH and this fact is used purely to get SuperMartian back together like thats not annoying. And yet we are suppose to care in S3 when they have problems due to TIm walking out on the team with the rest of the Batfamily. Like the writers keep talking about Tim and Cassie having issues and trying to work things out but we don’t SEE it and once again the charaters themselves never talk about it. AND FOR SOME REASON WE ARE EXPECTED TO CARE. 

And here we are in S3 and its an even BIGGER problem. 

Not only do we have another time skip, but we have more characters. The team from S1 is still doing things and taking up a good part of the narrative, the team from S2 just kind of exists, and then we get more characters who get more focus but only certain ones and the problem only gets worse with each episode. 

We have the Justice League doing stuff in space Batman Inc doing stuff behind the scenes (which has at least 4 characters they marketed yet have not said so much  5 lines of dialgoue) The Offical team which I think is now the Outsiders (like im honestly not sure) among which only really Halo and Beast Boy do anything Then you got their personal dramas that arent connected to the main story plus we gotta follow the villains and what they’re up to

and no one really knows what anyone is doing. The focus is all over the place. Halo seems to be our main through line this season yet they dont seem to like her very much. And yet we are still expected to care about all the characters they barely bother writing. 

Look Justice League Unlimited had a large cast but it didn’t FEEL that way cause the writers had their core 7 to focus the main story on, all the other characters were used to flesh out the world and throw some more fun and powers in. You saw them in background routinely with the same characters so when they took center stage it felt natural, cause they really only had one or two over arching narratives per season, the rest being self contained stories for the most part. 

Young Justice however wants to have its cake and eat it too. It wants to have the kind of tight narrative a small cast can afford you but it also wants to have the fun of a revolving door of characters. And you cant do both. And like I said it’s been a problem since season 1.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok a more specific prompt, coffee shop au with Malec and claia 😌

this is nowhere near specific and you damn well know it, anon. i appreciate u trying to find an excuse to throw coffee shop aus everywhere, tho. keep doing the lord's work even if i will inevitably twist the prompt

Magnus works at a small, local coffee shop as a barista. It's not exactly his #1 job choice, but it pays better than big chain coffee shops and he needs that to pay rent now that he officially left his abusive father's home for good. Also, he is kind of a coffee enthusiast and the owner, Ragnor, lets him go wild with making up new drinks and ingredients, as long as he still does his job.

All in all it's a good job and he considers the old fart and the other barista, maia, to be like family. Ragnor frequently gives them coffee and Maia constantly teases him about being a "coffee scientist" whenever she catches him thoughtfully drinking from a cup and scribbling notes on his notepad, like some ancient being

His recipes are good, though, and he knows exactly where to get the best coffee beans for the best price. So their drinks are good, affordable, and can please everyone from the traditional "black coffee no sugar" exec to the teenager who wants more of a milkshake than actual coffee

As a result, the shop thrives, gets more popular, and gets more clients. So Ragnor decides to hire a new barista to help. Because he's secretly a sweetheart, he ends up hiring this broke college kid who just moved into town to get away from his kinda toxic family and has nowhere to go - and also doesnt have a single ounce of experience as a barista

It's not surprising; both Magnus and Maia share similar stories, with some abusive exes to spice up the mix, not to mention racism, biphobia, and, in Magnus case, male behavior standarts keeping most opportunities closed for them. So they're cool with that. Even if it means Magnus will have to be the one to teach him, because 1- Ragnor is a dick and assigned him to be Alec's special "tutor" as retribution for Magnus calling him "an old, heart of butter bastard"; 2- he's the one who's best qualified to teach him since he knows a lot about coffee and coffee making anyway; 3- Maia has no patience

Quick detour just to say that i love the maia/magnus brotp opportunities this gives. While Magnus is more of a coffee scientist as she puts it, Maia has an almost instictive understanding of drink making. Where Magnus is soft, she's fierce, and they make one hell of a team and are good at balancing one another. They bond over their experiences with abuse; while Magnus' has made him afraid to put his foot down and say what he wants and prioritize himself, Maia's has made her particularly wary of people and even less willing to take anyone's bullshit, and both of these coping mechanisms have their own effects on their psyche, and they're able to talk openly to each other about it. Maia is kind of protective of Magnus and vice-versa, though the way they protect each other is very different. They have an easy companionship and bantering dynamic that's easygoing and cute, theyre both passionate about their interests (Maia loves marine biology and even if Magnus doesnt know much about it he loves listening to her talk about it) and just generally have that kind of relationship where just smiling at each other makes a tough day seem lighter. Also Magnus loves making Maia laugh. Maia blatantly refuses to laugh at any of his self-deprecating jokes, tho, which has considerably diminished the amount of times he makes them

Anyway Alec comes in for his first day and Magnus is like [REDACTED] because shit this man is cute. Maia notices immediately and from then on the teasing doesn't stop

He's quick to recover, tho, and suddenly he's all smooth again (Maia says he's perfected his customer service persona to horror movie levels), quick to introduce himself and Maia to Alec and explain that he'll be training Alec for the next few weeks or so. He gives him a tour of the shop, explains the basics, and immediately launches into his slightly extra More Serious Than Strictly Necessary course on the makings and workings of coffee, from bean selection to ideal temperature and the chemistry behind the cooking.

This absolute dork even had a small table with some coffee made from different kinds of beans so Alec could taste them and learn the difference and Engage with the profession or some shit

Maia just rolls her eyes, thankful that she had prior experience before getting this job and didnt have to go through this

The first thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't like coffee. This is not a setback. Many people dont like coffee, but that's because they're used to regular powdered coffee instead of making it from the bean. Because the beans in powdered coffee arent previously selected, they are roasted harder than they should, so any beans that might have gone bad wont spoil the taste or make you sick. As a result, the coffee is way too bitter and doesn't have a discernible taste. He explains all of this enthusiastically to a slightly overwhelmed Alec, and gets on to making him try the samples so he can feel the difference.

Here's the second thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't feel the difference

Despair. Horror. Offense.

Alec even kind of chuckles and goes "sorry" at the face he makes, and a not-pouting Magnus goes on with the planned explanation on bean selection

Third thing he learns about Alec: he's a quick study. Everything he lacks in sensibility to the amazing world of bean juice, he makes up for in his careful attentiveness to the instructions. He is also a strict recipe-follower and makes sure he always uses the exact amounts required. He's an absolute perfectionist. He listens to Magnus' explanations on how to know if the taste is right, to look for color and texture of the mix. Magnus tries his simple coffees and only needs a few corrections to send him on the right path

The first time Alec makes him something more complicated to try (per his request) Magnus wants to die

It's so good

Scratch that, it's perfect

This soulless motherfucker doesn't even like coffee and this is the single best version of whatever crazy frapuccino shit they're making magnus has ever tried

He kind of bursts from the kitchen (?) all like MAIA YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS just in time to interrupt her chatting with this redhead new customer with shiny eyes. Maia is leaning all the way across the counter. What is this

Maia agrees that it's very good but again he's not as passionate about coffee and Magnus just interrupted what would have been a really smooth number-giving move so she's not feeling all that generous

Alec just laughs at that. His eyes are shining with amusement and he's very, very pleased that Magnus likes his stuff

It's not a big secret, really; mixing drinks is kind of like patisserie in the sense that the measures need to be exact to achieve the best taste and texture. He follows the recipe to a fault, it turns out good. That's why he's better at the more complicated, instagram-y drinks than the simple coffee types

Alec "graduates" his training pretty soon after that and Ragnor is very pleased

He gets along well with both Magnus and Maia, even if he's more quiet and sometimes catches himself just laughing at the two of them interact; their friendship is something else. But he also gets to hear a "shut up" from Maia after not saying absolutely anything when the redhead walks in again the very next day

The redhead always comes in a little late in the morning, so its always slow. As a result, they get to pretend to be minding their own business as they hear the two of them chat and oof is the romantic tension between them something. Maia glares at them once the girl - Clary - leaves every time, but it doesn't stop them

Soon Maia is calling them "no-good gossiping grandmas" because of the way Magnus and Alec will go to the back and pretend to be making something while they keep a whispered running commentary on what the girls are talking about. This quickly turns into some sort of race to see who can make the other break and laugh out loud. Neither of them ever do (they are trying to be discreet and Maia would kill them) but oftentimes they need to cover their mouths with their hands and playfully slap each other for the teasing

Clary doesn't even realize she's the reason; she kind of just thinks they are constantly flirting on the back and briefly wonders how they havent been fired when all they do is whisper and make eyes at each other

Not that she has any room to talk when she's late to work everyday because she keeps cracking jokes with the cute curly haired barista with the most beautiful lopsided smile who always makes her laugh and tells her about her day while she drinks her coffee. She's lucky her work starts at 10 so she can go in a little later and doesnt have to be there during rush hours, but still

She doesnt even like coffee, she walked in one day cuz she was really tired and then just kept coming in the hopes that the barista would make a move on her (shes not gonna do it herself, at least not in her workplace. She doesn't want to make her uncomfortable and it's still unclear whether the girl is flirting or if shes just really nice)

At some point she and Maia even start sharing knowing looks to Alec and Magnus and laughing at them. They don't even notice, because their designated Making Fun Of Maia time turned into just cracking jokes at each other way too quickly. They don't even remember there are other people there

Maia does finally ask clary out eventually. She wasn't exactly nervous about doing it, it's more that she enjoyed their little routine. But enough is enough, and when their routine starts involving Clary giving her a quick kiss before placing her order, well, it just makes it better

Magnus and Alec coo every time

Eventually Maia snaps all like "why are you guys the one poking fun at me when im the one who made a move instead of being a coward"

Magnus is all like "Whatever could she possibly mean??"

It dawns on him when hes closing up the next day and Alec has already left. He has a crush on Alec. Oh god. Oh fuck

Maia helpfully says "idiot" and leaves

Some Magnus being very nervous and overthinking his relationship with Alec who's all like ???????? about this

Alec goes to his sister about his new crush who suddenly started acting weird and izzy is all like "stop trying to guess what he's thinking because you're terrible at this. Just tell them how you feel" and Alec is like okay

He asks Magnus out

Everyone is happy and gay idk the end

✨ feel free to use this and any other one of my posts as a prompt ✨

[heads-in-the-clouds-spacecadet]

When asked to write a daily diary for anxiety management.

Here are a few days example....

Sunday 24th 

Mood/anxiety = numb. 

Additional meds =8mg of diazipam.

My whole body aches yet it shouldn't. My stomach is growling yet i feel physically sick. 

Things i ask myself....

Q.1 Will i leave my safe space, weighted blanket & mountain of pillows?

A.1 NO. 

Q.2 Will i manage my yoga routine

A.2 NO

Reasons....Why

I feel exhausted even though ive not been outside since Thursday. I just want the aching to subside the pain to leave. My jaw is clenched closed making eating an ordeal. I know this needs to be done. 

The dread of what passive aggressive message/s ill receive today either in person or written either way im struggling to motivate myself to move.

The Internet has been blocked for nearly a wk now. But i just let it slide as the saying goes choose your arguements "wifi is not the hill i want to die on" quote from TBBT. I hear Luke (my brother) is now in his bedroom and his door is closed. He has been banging around the house sending passive aggressive messages (sms) since 4am. My belongings that i left downstairs were thrown into my room. I'm nervous to leave my room till i know he is asleep. 

Flashback/negative thoughts....

1. How can my baby brother be an emotional manipulator. 

2. Last time i had to justify my everymove i was in Portugal in a very bad relationship. 

*****Ways im looking to excuse his behaviour. Find the cause to my sudden crash of low mood aka depression with a nice battle of anxiety.

---Logically i know its not the same. 

---Emotionally it hurts the same. 

The way he looks at me with disgust, resentment & impatience is the trigger. I realise this. How someone you love can make you feel this way. 

Solution: i decide to find a solution to the sudden conflict of money and i know there is a receipt in the car. I go to the normal place the keys are kept and theyre no where to be found. I look in all the obvious logical places they  could be and realise theyre hidden by my loving brother. His Reasons, 1-to stop me  buying shit (his words). 2. He has decided its his house, his car so therefore his rules. (Its all my mums btw)

As im downstairs i notice the kitchen is a mess. Pots all over from a feast Luke cooked up the night before. Or should i say 2am. 

So i feel defeated. Ive basically been cleaning non stop everytime i use a room as per gov guidelines and he just doesnt seem to comprehend the severity of the situation. 

I decide i need to eat. So i opt for Shreddies with Oat Milk (Luke has a serious milk allergy to the milk proteins in cows milk so im not fussed about milk and am happy to use alternatives) topped with vanilla soya yogurt, bannana, a few cranberries, 3 strawberries, sultanas and crushed Almonds. My logical brain is telling me eat well as we are not leaving the bedroom again unless desperate. 

I send a few messages to the family whats app (Luke refuses to be a part of this) and receive encouraging and support in return. Everyone is struggling in their own way so i appreciate having a small outlet between us all.

After food i sleep finally. 

Trying now to Ready myself for round 2 which i know is coming.

My mum calls i dont want to answer but i do. I explain the situation. She knows, she has dealt with his angry behaviour since he was 11yrs old. She stated she is coming to visit Tuesday as per new gov guidelines and we will meet in the park. She then asks me to pass the phone to Luke which i pointblank refuse. Im not ready for round 2 yet. Especially since he has his own phone he is just not answering making everyone worry about him but he just resents it. Its safe to say im proud i refused to do something. Gold star award ⭐

Monday 25th

Mood/Anxiety -  still no change from yesterday but i decide i have to force myself to move. Wash, clean and pack the additional things my mum has requested. 

Additional meds - i decided against taking anything today as i need to be clear headed for my appointment Tues and obvs my mums visit.

I check the weather see its a nice day decide washing is task 1. I set a bath running (multi tasking saving time from all the free time) and head downstairs to pop the washing machine on. Before i left my room i checked my phone for messages i have one from my mum telling me she has had words with Luke and that he needs to basically deal with the resentment in a more positive way. 

This explains all the banging and loud music yesterday early eve. He decided to actually clean. 

Anyhow I head downstairs. Kitchen is clean, messages all wiped from the black board. 

I decide i must try and communicate with Luke as we cant take the conflict with us to the park it isnt fair to our mum. 

I can hear him moving so send a sms message asking if he wants anything in the oven. No response. ***He did finally get out of bed at 3pm so a peaceful day so far. 

I decide food is required. I opt for protein soya burgers x2 with Spinach, tomatos, avacado, sultanas, almond pieces and some crumpets. I sit in the garden to eat.

All washing is out and drying but im to anxiety ridden and unmotivated to enjoy the sunshine. 

I head back to my room to sort bits for my mum and throw away my origami collection. It was over taking my room and again causing conflict. 

Lukes awake!!!. I decide to say hello. So far so good. He decides to make himself lunch and throws a fit because i ate a £0.45 avocado. I walk away as i know he is just venting and i need to not start the circle of negative thoughts or interactions. This is rewarded with resentment. Luke suddenly decides to do his own washing and cut the grass. Which means my washing is in his way. Before he even starts i am pulling in whats dry mainly because i want to go back to bed and need my bedsheets but also because he wont care if my washing turns green or is damaged. To my delight my sheets are dry but my pjs etc need another 30mins so i leave them whilst i go and make my bed. 

Im bellowed at about washing as Luke needs the line. So i head down stairs to reteive the rest of my belongings. 

Self soothing thoughts...

Im walking on eggshells trying not to provoke the beast and i need to keep going. Focus on my achievements. I left my room. I cleaned myself, my clothing and my pillow fort which has been my safe zone for the past 4days. 

Deep down thought i am disappointed as i know isolation and distancing is not a long turn solution as the yrs pass im becoming more and more isolated and lonely. 

Im downstairs again and i ask Luke if he wants anything popping in the oven as i was having toast. He requested 2 burgers and chips but on seperate trays as he was hungry. Easy to do popped into the oven. 40mins later chips are cooked he is plating up and all he says is "why have you cooked so many chips, clearly we now live in a household of wastefulness". 

This was the turning point for me id had enough for 1day and just told him to give it a rest and went to my room. 

Im dozing with Big Bang on in the backround and Luke is banging on my door. Mums on the phone. Confirming arrangements for tomorrow. I say a few oks with the occasional nod. 

I start packing the bits n bobs my mum has asked for and carry then downstairs so theyre ready for the car tomorrow am. 

Its PJs and bed time. Luke has other ideas. He is awake and up and about at 4.30am. Having a bath at 5am, doing weights after his bath at 6am then leaves in the car at 7am. He is back around 8am banging has a shower then decides to leave again in the car. He is meant to be house-bound until July 1st. This in itself causes me anxiety as i cant handle watching another member of my family die in front of my eyes. 

Thoughts...

Yes this is VERY dramatic. STOP IT BRAIN!

Take precautions all will be ok. 

Tuesday 26th

Mood/Anxiety = No change 

Additional meds = 4mg diazipam but late afternoon as i couldnt stop shaking and fidgeting.

My mum is coming to visit. Im trying not to think about the fact Luke is out of the house. 

We are having a picnic social distancing style. 

We head to the coop as Luke has decided even after knowing our mum all his life never be on time, we have to be early. I buy Costa coffee, fresh bread, hummus, bananas, diet coke and some biscuits the nature valley ones theyre really good. Luke doesnt go into the shop I think at least he is listening to some rules. He rolls his eyes as i spray the shopping with dettol spray and use the alcohol hand sanitizer for my hands and door handle etc. I just tell him its how it needs to be done.

We find a perfect parking spot under a bunch of trees. I notice that all the trees are trimmed in a very even shelf across the bottom. It looked like it was designed perfectly for people to walk straight onto the park from the car park without having to fight with tree branches or go around.  But in actual fact its the deer. They eat the lower leaves this made me smile and relax for a moment. WIN.

My mum is late so im nervous that she is 

1. Stuck somewhere (over reaction)

2. Lost (over reaction)

3. Just running late (normal reaction) 

Im a tad fidgety as im aware i have an appointment in 2hrs. Hurry up MOTHER...

I ponder about work and whether or not ill still have a job to return too. Had an email this am stating theyre cutting 200jobs from the team i work in. So not sure if thats a good thing or not. But its also increasing my anxiety as ive read the email and now have a burning desire to do the research to see what my probability of keeping my job will be. Before my brain can go on a major tangent my mum arrives. 

Shes brought Oscar (her poodle) he is so excited to see me. And the big hairy fluff ball  gave me the biggest snuggles. He has a major Covid hairdoo. My mum doesnt hug me which hurts but i know she cant. 

Picnic time. We sit in the middle.of a field away from everyone. Social distancing 10/10. My mum has made me my favourite cakes, rock buns. (Apparently these are a northern thing) but im feeling the love. Its fairly chilled only 1 disagreement with Luke over blinkin avocados.

Im clock checking and aware of impending appointment, im a little (understated) nervous because ive not had positive relationships with therapists or doctors in the past. 

[hitchell-mope]

Just put on the movie

And there we go. The dedication is there.

Oh god the rapping.

My palms will be bloody by the time this is over.

But I like the parallels to the first movie

To much auto tune

There goes my heart Disney.

Oh lord that’s high

Bbys. Smee twins

WHY WASNT DIZZY THERE FROM FILM TWO

There’s my child Celia

MY BOY!!!!

I mean Mal has a point.

He thinks it through

I love him so fucking much

Loving Doug’s hair

Rat bastard. Rat bitch. Rat fairy (Adam belle Verna)

Fuck off leah chad Audrey

😍😍😍😍. This version is better then d1

SUCK IT PASTEL COW

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Oh Evie love. Just tell him you love him

FUCK OFF YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

YES WE WOULD PREFER MAL TO YOU YA BITCH

I hate you Adam and belle

Ben and the other three are adorable family

Still hating Audrey. So. Fucking. Much

Love the purple limo

WHY IS TREMAINE NICE. IT MAKES NO SENSE

Bal parent vibes are strong

They shoulda painted the limo roof purple

Dying of cuteness

Proud fiancé Mal. Love it

Fuck off leah

Here’s papa hades. And the ham.

DRAGON MAL. WHOO HOO

Ah well. Nice while it lasted

NOT HER JOB PASTEL COW

So. Much. Ham.

Poor girl. Ouch.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. I still hate her and her geriatric bitch of a grandmother

Oh bitch please. First words out of your mouth were creel. And it ain’t abated

I’m supposed to be sorry for this sad act? I don’t think so

So. Much. Rapping

Oh. SPARE ME WOMAN

Still theft. Throw her on the isle with her grandmother

Lonely and friendless. Because Mal is so much better then you ya limp noodle

Gotta be bad on the back

YOU DESERVE A SLAP AROUND THE FACE YOU SPOILED BRAT

Seriously though. The actual singing is better then the rapping. So gotta give satah her dues

Fuck off grown ups.

YOU PUT THEN THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACD

Blue bitch. Just like always belle

Ok. People. You can see it’s hurting bal to do this. KILL THE BEAST

DONT CRY BABY BOY. PLEASE. LAST TIME ALMOST KILLED ME

Murder. The fucking. Parents

Evie. Evie’s sensible. Listen to your sister Mal.

And here comes the guilt. Like always. The narrative blames Mal

That darn cake

Ah. Pain. Hug them now

And jump scare

Oh god. Shut up Audrey. You’re a sore loser

Eh. The prosthesis look ok

Audrey. Nutter. Ben was more then ready to start the honeymoon when Mal was a dragon. Do you really think a hag would stop him?

😂😂😂😂

Oh boy

That’s a lie and you know it bluey.

At least the bikes have an explanation

Why the red for Evie though

And the mutt speaks

Fuck off Chad. I hate you so much

This bitch again

So shrieky.

Kiss ass

Real original

Jump Jane jump!

So many neck cricks

No one tells him anything

Cella’s right Mal

Overly long gag. But cute

Awww 🥰🥰🥰🥰. At least he’s a good dad

Nice reference

And the fear mongering begins.

And here’s the cryptid. He shoulda died in it’s going down

Psycho bitch pirate whore

Cella’s a troll and I love it

The vehicle needs an oil change

At least he’s sleeping. Though that position can not be comfortable

At long last the reveal.

He’s funny. And hot. (I can see where @mochacake2016 is coming from)

We know! We know

And here’s the music

😂😂😂😂.

He’s got a point

Ok.

THERES NO PHONES ON THE ISLAND QUEEN MAL

She actually sounds like jade west here

So far. Besides the proposal. This is my favourite song. Mostly for Hades great looks. Great voice

And the tambourine

Would be better with purple and blue fire effects. But no. We can’t have nice things. They spent the budget on pirate whores make up

She’s got a point. They both do

LISTEN TO HIM

Proud papa

C’mon girl. Cry

Of course she told her sister

He’s a good king.

T-shirt should be ripped.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. Hate her so much

And. Here. We. Go.

Benny. I love you. But did you not hear what she said to Evie when you first met the vks. Of course not. You were lost in Mal’s eyes.

Oh god. PLEASE SOMEBODY GO AND MELT HER

Whore man is probably skunk drunk. Gil’s cute as ever though

Throw hook in the water. And keep it there.

🎶she’s back🎶

And there screwed

He makes feel physically sick

Uma. I love ya. But honestly. Mal owes no one anything. It’s not her job.

No it ain’t

Jay’s got a point

Oh honey

Hook. In the words of the irreverent Captain Jack Sparrow “if the bikes be crashed properly. You be crashed along with it”. Not you Gil. I like you

Mother hen strikes again. Uma ain’t buying what she’s selling

Pure child Celia. (I don’t use this very much but) Gil’s babey (it feels wrong to type£

Chicken arms. No brains. No wit. No dance skills. No rapping skills. Ya basically a walking corpse hook

The dogs giving me a nervous twitch.

I hate the pair of them so no. No sympathy for prince douche bag

Gil makes me cry so simply

Stab the pirate jay. Please. For all of us

Psycho bitch

I want. It. Dead. Brutally. Dead

And more music. If this weren’t Disney they coulda melted them yo pukes of goo and pour it down Harry’s throat.

Oh god

So she can’t count either. Just like her brother

Definitely cha cha slide.

Deep sigh

So much ham.

Here’s a funny idea. How about instead of a bloody pantomime. ACTUALLY FUCKING FIGHT YOU FECKERS

Synchronised armour dancing. That’s new

Oh for fuck sake

Ha ha. Save it for the sob story bitch

What’s next a kick line

Thank god I was wrong.

Hook should be suffocated under the armour right now. Put us out of our misery

Care bear alert

I had to have a flu jab today. And it weren’t as painful as every single nanosecond hooks on screen

Love the platonic affection (I hate the very concept of malvie. What did you expect?)

Mother alert

Don’t eat wild fruit honey

So cute. But so dumb

Oh. Phineas and Ferb reference

Awww babies.

Don’t you dare tell me Mal doesn’t care.

THEY FOUND DOUG

Uma’s so done with care bear bs

More singing. Yay(!)

Please. Remind me again exactly why this is a DCOM. Cause it honestly does not feel like it what with the backstory pirate whores entire existence and the choreography

How has evie not broken a leg in this number.

Believe me Mal and Uma. I feel your frustration they go together like peanut butter and chocolate spread. (Perfectly if you didn’t know)

Where is she going?

She knows how R&J ended right? Double suicide. Why the romanticism huh?

HE IS NOT A RAG DOLL! Though props to Zachary for not corpsing

How can you hate Doug. He’s adorable. Best straight couple ever

There’s ma boy. Rip Harry’s throyatvout plwae.

Ben’s always been hot. But this is definitely working for me.

Awww. Carlos helping his papa

Wet Ben. Yum

Awww. Janelos cuteness.

Love the beard. So good. 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Someone murder the man whore before I do.

He makes me wanna throw up. And I’m not physically capable of doing that

@rpsocsandcanonohmy. I get where you’re coming from. But I also get where Ben is coming from. Sunbeam did get him abducted. And man slut tried to feed him to sharks. So I do understand both points. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though

JUST. EXPLAIN. HIS MIND IS BEAST ADDLED

Shoulda let Ben slash hooks throat jay. You’re slipping buddy

Mal’s eating crow

Hopefully he chad suffocates. Then she’s have done one thing that wasn’t completely worthlessly reprehensible

🎶feelings🎶

And it had to ruin it

Te-am work. As plankton says

Proud sister

Boys are back. (With dude and the mutt in tow)

YAAAAAAAAAY

I hate happy harry. But I do like happy Uma. Eh. Double edged sword

BAL THIRST. FINALLY

Shoulda gone with Janelos. Jarlos is from big time rush

Oh they’re so cute

Poor Doug.

DOUG AND GIL FRIENDSHIP.

So. Update. Might be like Mal. (Definitely loving Ben’s facial hair)

Yawning over chad. So pathetic

Her seat from him douchey mcuseless

Poor Janey

Cats outta the bag

Once again. I kinda understand all points. Yeah Mal shouldn’t have lied. But Uma didn’t really give her and choice. And Evie just kinda assumed. And no one really lets her explain anything.

Hooks still pathetic. Even hurt emotionally I still wanna punch his roger rabbit looking face (Sorry Roger)

Oh dear

Mal. Don’t apologise. You did what you felt you needed to do. And no gives you a chance to explain. Ever.

Yes. You needed to do what you could.

Excellent acting all around as usual

Evie. Look. I love you. Your favourite number seven. But WHY IS IT YOUR SISTERS JOB. WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT MALS PROBLEM

Ha! Evie said it. She said family.

Oh fuck. Taken for granite

More singing.

Monster/story/invincible

I do want to stab Harry in the mouth with the hook

More flashback. Yay(.). Couldn’t they fill out the runtime

Flashbacks. TO THE START OF THE SO G THE FLASHBACK IS FROM. OH FOR FUCK SAKES

More dragon.

Audrey’s performance might make me a vegetarian

How is it not crushed by the claws?

Fire should be green

Yay. Auds dead. Please say yes?

The twins say literally one thing

From magical incantation to vaguely irritating verbal tick. Well alright then

Evie. Why do you sound so sad. It’s a good thing Audrey’s dying. The ultimate price and all that. You should be glad. It’s a good thing

Mal: he’s my father. Ben: shocked face. Me: makes a sound like a boiling kettle

Bye bye facial hair

Die slut

More eating crow

The in laws meet

Exactly hades. Exactly. Knee beast in the dick

God Ben’s so hot.

Bite Adam’s throat out please hades

Should’ve let Audrey waste away. And sent granny to Tartarus to meet her

OH SPARE ME YOUR BLEEDING HEART ROUTINE! I still hate you in a fundamental level

OH FINALLY YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

Nice little family moment

What the fuck is Evie’s dress?

Queen Mal has a very nice ring to it.

Sure you can. You owe them noting. You owe nobody anything

Jay has a pull back braid in his hair. Yay!

“Audrey would be gone”. You say it as though that’s a bad thing

“Insert woody woodpecker laugh”. Fuck you Adam

Compromise. Bring the vks over. And plop Adam Audrey chad anleah on the isle. Sink it into the ocean

Why didn’t Verna bring the barrier down. Oh yeah. Cause then she’d be useful

More singing

At least this takes place in daylight

I still hate harry

Push Harry in the drink please. IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU

God I love Ben and Doug

Why the Charleston?

I still hate tremaine

Well. Jane. In ZM. You met Mal. She’s Carlos’s mother in this au

Giljay. It’s cute

So Harry makes me ill right upbto the end. Now he’s related to purple and blue

🎶a bitch is in the dog house🎶. And deservedly so

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Sweet little king

Oh boy

Whore has a turkey neck

This is the end. Good movie. With some unneeded bits. I’m gonna change a lot in ZM part three. And both dedications broke me.

[softevan]

We’re Not Who We Used To Be (SOFT Mini Series)

A/N: So I have decided to make a series of scenarios based on specific lyrics from Harry’s songs which I’m so excited about because i’ve been writing all day. Some of them will be smutty, some wont, but ill put the warnings before hand. I want to thank a lot of you who have been supporting of me and my writing. If you have any lyrics requests please don’t hesitate to let me know. But I really hope you like this one, enjoy! -K

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 4K

Pairing: Y/N and Harry

Y/N’S POV

This week is the ARIA awards in Australia and Harry has been scheduled to perform. Because he has been on tour and constantly traveling I just think that he needs a few days off instead of going to an awards show. His manager Tommy had insisted on him declining the invitation to the show and have a non hectic couple of days, especially to spend time with me. But of course Harry being Harry he didn’t want to let anyone down and he decided that he wanted to go.

Harry always wanted me to come with him on tour, which is something I would be so happy to do. But my job is always my main priority. Through out our relationship, we had seen that we had been focusing too much on our carers, and neglecting our relationship. With both of our singing carers it was hard. But now with my tour over I’ve decided to take some time off to be with Harry and actually try to be here for him. Its his very first tour with just him and his band and of course he needed me to be there with him. Its not easy being on the stage by yourself, its very intimidating to say the least. But with me travelling with Harry I get to see and experience new things with him, and write new songs along the way. Knowing that Harry feels more at home with me being here for him, and knowing that I give him comfort when he sees me standing at the side singing along to his songs means everything to me. It just makes my heart swell at the thought.

“Babe, its either going to be the Gucci or the Alexander McQueen outfit, just pick one?” Harry came out of the hotels wardrobe with both his hands filled with these unusual coloured suits, with a puzzled look on his face, scrunched eyebrows waiting for my reply. “H you always go for Gucci so wear something different” I looked up at Harry, dragging my concentration from my novel in my hands to him then back to my book. “Okay sold” His cheeky grin spread across his face and put down the suits of the side of the bed, then making his way over to me. “Babe?” His hands sprung up to my book and pulled it away so my attention was on him. “H” I looked up and his face which still had the cheekiest grin on it. “Do you wanna grab something to eat?” “Yeah sure, I actually am quite hungry” “Okay cool” He knelt over me to grab the hotel phone to order in. I yanked the phone out of his hand and put it back to the server. “Do you not want anything?” The confusion setting into his face, I grabbed his chin to pull the smile back and I pushed my fingers into his dimples which I know he loved. “How about we go downstairs to the restaurant and eat? We can look cute and go out for a romantic meal?” “Sweetie I am so washed I cant be bothered going anywhere tonight” He pulled himself onto the side of the bed beside me with a sigh leaving his lips. “Harry its just for an hour or so, we haven’t had dinner together in a while” I looked back around at his face, still with a awkward look to it. “We had dinner yesterday” “Yeah, a salad in the dressing room” I sighed and pushed my body to lay on his chest with my arms wrapped around his waist facing him. “Im sorry it was just a thought, I know your really tired” “Im sorry baby ill make It up to you, when I have a day off we can do whatever you want, I promise” He pulled my forearms up so he could kiss me ever so gently on the lips then across my cheeks to my temples. “So do you want Chinese takeout or Indian?”

The next morning was the rehearsal for the awards show which was tonight, and as usual the preparation is crazy. People running around grabbing the lights, seating arrangements, the routine of the awards, scheduled performances, and of course the celebrities that are there to rehearse. I sat in one of the seats in the audience waiting for to watch Harry’s sound check for tonight when I seen him walking out with six people running after him. He immediately was looking for me in the room and his eyes landed straight on me. I gave a wave and made my way to the front of the stage where the cameras sit. “Hey baby girl” He crouched down kissing me and sat back up. “Hey H, you excited for tonight?” “Yeah I am, ill be fine once the performance is over and I get to sit beside you” I could feel my cheeks burning as if the lights were glaring down heat onto my skin. “I love the way I can still make you blush” “Shut up Harry and get up there” I giggled as I swatted at his shoe giving a smile his way. “Your going to be here right?” “Where else would I be?” He kissed my hand and got up to the band to organise the performance for tonight. “Y/N” I heard a shout from the left of me. I turn around and see Ella, or as most people know her, Lorde, came running to me and greeted me with a hug. “Oh my gosh hey girl no time no see” I screamed when we hugged for more than too long, but not seeing her for ages it made up for lost time. Me and Ella were really good friends when we first got into the industry. We are both signed on the same label and we kind of grew together. But over time obviously with our different lives and fame we kind of grew apart, but of course we still are good friends. “Congrats on the big tour chick” “Aw thank you, I’m just glad that I now have time to see and spend time with Harry, he’s having so much fun and I’m so happy to see him happy” I giggled at her. Her face didn’t rocipacate. “Are you happy though?” “Of course I am why wouldn’t I be?” She pulled her arm out, initiating to take a seat beside her. “Look Y/N I know when your not happy about something, is it Harry?” “No no its not Harry at all” “Then what is it?” I took a deep breath, and just let it out to her. “I don’t know, I just feel like recently we haven’t been as close as what we were before he released his music. Dont get me wrong we are still close, but I mean, I hate to say this, but- I kinda feel like we are growing apart a little” She looked down at my hands that were clawing down my jeans, which might as well have holes in them at this point. “If that’s the way you feel then maybe you should talk to him about it” “Yeah” I look over to Harry that was talking to one of the guitar players in the band, showing him the certain chords on the guitar he wanted played. Looking at him I know I couldn’t do it to him, not here and not when the whole tour is happening. It was crush him. “No, I cant bring it up now, its just, theres too much going on right now” “Well, I do think you need to talk eventually” My gaze went straight back to Lorde, which she had a sympathetic smile to it. She does have a point, but right now, it needs to be shot to the back of my head. My main concern right now s supporting Harry tonight. The chords from Kiwi came on and my full attention went straight to him with the music going straight through my body.

A few hours later I was finally finished hair and makeup when I hear him coming into the room with a few other people talking about the show tonight. I looked at Lou that was telling me a story about Lux and how she has started to take an interest in makeup. “And I said to her no yeh cant use nail polish for eyeshadow, I nearly had a heart attack then” Her accent strong like Harry’s always made me feel more comforted, I’m not sure why. Was probably the accent, which is stupid, but its always the small things for me. “Baby you look beautiful” Harry came over with food in hand and pushed a kiss to my head while Lou was still trying to perfect it. “Harold get away, glam squad here, no boys aloud innit” My face srunched up with laughter seeing Harry’s reaction. “Fine Im leaving, in a huff” He flicked his imaginary hair and walked off to the door. “As long as your huffs over in an hour to come back so I can do your hair you can huff to your hearts content pet” The laughter coming out of me was nearly the worst laugh in history, but the way they get along just makes you want to piss your pants. “You guys are so funny together Lou” “I mean its a pure comical show so yeh cant really get it anywhere else can yeh?” We both giggled and I got up to make my way into get changed.

When we were close to the red carpet of the ARIA’s I start to see Harry tense up a litte beside me, which made my hand glide up his thigh. “Hey youll be fine” “I know love, just not a huge fan of the red carpet bit” “I know, that’s what I’m here for, remember?” My eyes looked up into his nervous ones, reading him is so easy, you just know what he is feeling just by looking at him. “Just keep your eyes on me, right?” “Right” I felt a small kiss to my cheek as I looked back to the window of the car. I sometimes think to myself how can I make him feel better, he should be used to this kind of stuff. He has been doing it longer than what I have been. But then again everyone doesn’t like any of their job do they?

The night went smoothly, no humps or hiccups with the whole night. His performance was outstanding as normal, and on top of that he won best international artist which is amazing. He never gives himself credit for what he has done and want he can do. But then again when I think of myself being an artist I never think that I’m perfect. “I’m so glad to be home, well, back to the hotel I guess” He chuckled as I went to set my bag down on the kitchen table and he look off his blazer. “Babe I have to say, if that skirt was any shorter, I could of easily slipped inside of you when you were sitting on my lap after the show, fuck you looked so hot tonight” His hands automatically went straight to the back of my thighs and rubbed there way up underneath my skirt, clutching my bum. I quickly turned around so his hands couldn’t get where they wanted to. I knew where this was going. “Oh so you want to do it now?” His breathes got deeper as his eyes trailed around my body, eyeing me up like a piece of candy. “Of course, love, I just wanna bend you over this table” His ring covered hands found their spot again straight to my bum, clutching it in his palms, giving me a good squeeze. “Baby you torture me” His eyes reverted back to mine, trying to read me. I wasn’t really feeling the whole atmosphere. Since I talked to Lorde it really got me thinking about us and this whole ‘problem’ if that’s what I even wanna call it. I need to bring this up now before its too late. “Harry, every time I wanna have sex you say your too tired, now you want to?” “Well, yeah, why wouldn’t I?” His eyes gave out confusion that set to my lips then back to my eyes. “Look Harry, I really need to talk to you” I pulled his hands away from my bum and pushed him away to I could look at him properly. “Y/N, are you okay love?” He leaned on the chair that was sitting in front of him, waiting for me to make a coherent sentence that didn’t seem too stupid. How can I even start this conversation. “Harry, I feel like recently, this between us, well, they aren’t the way they used to be before” His face grew puzzled at my statement, never taking his eyes off of me. “I feel like somethings not right here, with us, is there something wrong with us?” “Of course there isn’t baby girl, I mean all couples kinda go through this I guess, but there is nothing wrong with us” He started to make his way back to me and I pulled myself back to the same distance that we were in before. I didn’t want him thinking that this conversation was over when it was just getting started. I didn’t want to brush off this conversation for the sake of not getting into a fight. I hate confrontation but this just needs to be said to him. “Harry I’m not happy. Im not happy that the fact that when I bring up something to do or something that I want to do that you always brush it off to the side and not make it a big deal. Like the few times that ive asked you to come with me and have a romantic meal or go for a walk, or even just to get coffee and spend some alone time together before you have a show. Look I know that you have the tour and I know that it can be stressful. But I’m here too, I know that I’m here for you to support you but I’m here, I need some Harry time to myself, and not with other people around shouting at you one million things.” His face just sat there, emotionless. He had no vibes coming from him, which is never a good thing when it comes to Harry. Not being able to ready him makes me think did I do the right thing and even bring this up?

“We do have alone time, when I come home from a show and we cuddle in bed with a dvd” “Harry that’s not spending time with someone, that’s just laying down before bed. We aren’t talking, we are just laying there until we fall asleep. That’s not being with each other” “Well in my eyes that counts for something” “Well in my eyes it doesn’t” The air in the room gets thicker and the tension starts to rise. “I feel like your not trying anymore H. I gave up my whole life to be here with you when I could have been at home right now” “Oh please, don’t give me this guilt bullshit” “I could have been writing songs for another album, and gee I don’t know, spending time with my family?” “So to get your own way in this fight you want to make me feel bad about you coming out here with me and throwing that back in my face?” “Oh so now its an arugment?” “Did you really think that this was going to be a good and smooth conversation Y/N?” His voice raised to a scary tone as he started to walk across to the other side of the kitchen. “I don’t know what you want me to do Y/N, just say to everyone ‘hey I wanna spend time with my girlfriend so I’m going to cancel a few shows here and there. Its not like that you know, I cant just take time off when I want it. This is my job. I am exhausted” “Harry I’m not asking you to give up tour dates for me, I’m asking you to make an hour just for us. Im not asking for a whole day. Even just a dinner, or something. But your not even trying, I feel like I’m the one that’s only trying here” I walked to the side of the sofa and sat down on it, looking down at my hands as the tears streamed down my face. “I feel as if you don’t love me anymore Harry” “What the fuck kind of statement is that? If I didn’t love you anymore, I wouldn’t care where you would go, I wouldn’t care if you were here or not, I wouldn’t give two fucks about you” My blood started to boil again and I got up to face his red complextion. “If you even fucking cared about me and our relationship we shouldn’t be even having this conversation. Im only asking for one fucking hour of your time, to actually spend time with your 4 year long girlfriend. Thats not a lot I’m asking here since your the one that’s asking for my full 24 hour time. You asked me to come with you not me” “And you said yes, you didn’t have to say yes, you could have easily said that you wanted to spend time with your family because I would have understood” “No Harry I wanted to come with you because I thought that it would have been an experience that I wouldn’t ever want to forget, to be with my boyfriend and to travel the world and see things that I didn’t see when I was alone” A small silence stilled as we took in what was said in the space of ten minutes. “I was thinking of the things that we could have been doing, as a couple. Making our relationship stronger” His face never left the ground, with his hands clasped around the sides of the marble designed island made me see that this was getting to him. I never thought that this conversation would have gotten this far. But it goes to show that he really didn’t think about it. I walked up to him and stood right in front of him and forced him to look at me. “How many times did you come out to see me when I was touring and you were away making your album?” “Dont pull this bullsh-“ “How many times did you come out to see me when I was touring and you were away making your album?” I repeated with a more stern tone to it. I needed to get him to see what was really going on, but it still wasn’t clicking. “Once” He mumbled with his face hung to the ground; keeping his face away from mine. “How many times?” I asked him to repeated it. “Once” His voice raised as he looked up at me. “Yeah, once out of 32 shows. That just proves my point, I’m done with this conversation” I started to walk away from him and he grabbed my arm with great force to stop me in my tracks. “Dont just walk away from this when you think your done, its not done here” “Right okay, lets keep fighting the same fight. If that’s what will get you to see it then please ill be happy to” I pulled my arms away from his grasp and folded my arms looking directly at him. “Y/N, if you really think that I don’t care, and brought you out here to waste your time, or just use you for comfort from home, then maybe you should leave and go home. Because to the quite honest with you, this attitude, is really getting on my last nerve” The attitude that was streaming from his body language was something I never thought I would see coming from him. He started to walk away into the kitchen when of course I followed him, with a lot more coming into mind. I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget anything that I had planned to say in my head. “I try so much for you Harry and your the one that throws it in my face. You really think that I’m giving you attitude? Yeah actually, maybe I am, because its the only way to get it through your thick skull that is whole thing is ruining our relationship” “Eh no actually Y/N because this whole relationship was fine until tonight” “You thought that it was a fine relationship” Once again a silence broke through the room waiting for someone to say something. I knew if I needed to explain more to him about us then it wasn’t even worth trying anymore. “Harry I shouldn’t have to explain to you if I’m happy. You should know that. You cant be this great guy int he public eye and then be a complete dick behind closed doors. Your either one person or the other, which is it? I fell in love with the nice charming guy that would do anything to be with me, and treat me with respect and treat me like no other guy would treat me. But that guy isn’t there anymore. I cant wait for him” I couldn’t keep my tears back looking at him. I was standing there pouring my heart out to him and he just stood there, facing me, watching me, looking right through me. Maybe I’m starting to break him. “I love you Harry. Not the guy that’s standing in front of me right now, but the guy that I met 4 years ago” I started to walk into the bedroom across the hall and slammed the door shut behind me. Thats when I broke, so hard. I held it in for so long trying to be strong to get everything out, and now that its out in the open, I kinda feel glad that I said it, but also regret it. Im thinking back to an hour ago and just thinking I should have just had sex with him and it would have been a good night. But it would ave just been me prolonging the enevitable.

Once I calmed myself down I decided to get myself back to our house in London to give us some space because at this point I think that’s all we need. I made sure that all of my stuff from travelling around was in my suitcase and zipped it up. I looked around the room and to Harry’s suitcase. Just knowing that I cant look for one of his graphic t shirts to wear to bed just made my heart break, but I know that doing this will help make him see that I’m serious about this.

I made my way down the halls trailing my suitcases at hand with the phone to my ear talking to the driver, and I seen Harry sitting on the sofa looking straight my direction. “Okay thank you, ill see you in 5” I hung up the phone and tried to ignore the fact that Harry was sitting watching me as I made my way to the door. “Y/N” He jumped up off of the sofa and hit his hand off of the door so I couldn’t open it. “Why are you doing this, why are you leaving?” “If you cant see that this is our main problem, I cant help you. We both need time to think about this” I grab the door handle and harry pulled it away. “Need time to think about what? Y/N we can talk about this and we can figure this out” His eyes began to fill up with tears. “Harry I cant sit here and pretend that everything’s okay when its not. I cant do this relationship if its one sided, its either we work 50/50 or I’m done” I pulled his hand away from the door handle and walked out the door with my suitcases. As I walk down the hallway I hear the faint noises of a scream and a loud smash coming from our room; hearing what this is doing to him just is breaking me into two, making me think that is this the right thing I’m doing. But what is breaking my heart each time I took a step, he wasn’t chasing me.

[krissewrites]

Gynecologist!Jin - BTS Imagine

requested. this idea was so... unique??? i also love dr. jin sue me.

i have reached the bottom of the army totem poll

no one is below me right now

lets get started

graduated from john hopkins university as an international student

top of his class

originally planned on working for a pharmaceutical firm back in korea

but was offered a job at planned parenthood as a gyno.

a little hesitant at first because he didnt think he’d be comfortable with a job like that

but still took it because it paid more than packing pills into a bottle

its now his third year being referred to as “dr. kim”

he never gets used to it

is widely known among the nurses and staff to be “dr. handsome”

lets talk about his little room/office thing

looks very professional at first glance but the longer you look around the more you learn about his personality

you’d been sitting there for almost fifteen minutes now

and he had small books, scaled models of the reproductive system, and various other trinkets.

but he also had cute stuffed animals on his shelves, a pink medical folder, and cute pens with various decorations on them.

and just as you had reached out to pick up one of his pens, the door opened

you almost snap your neck to turn around and see what all the hype was about

and boy were the staff right

he was handsome as fuck

you tensed up a little as he closed the door behind him and looked at the pen in your hand

“im sorry they were just so cute--”

“right? i love them.”

hes actually not mad at all that you were messing with his stuff

but he did look a little stressed but you didnt look into it too much

by now hes sitting behind the desk in a big swivel chair

but his shoulders are still wider than the chair

help me

you put the pen back in the cup and anxiously bounce your legs bc this is your first ob-gyn appointment with a different doctor

and it didnt help that your doctor was also a fine piece of ass

you see jins eyes trail up from his folder

he thinks its cute that you’re nervous around him

so a small smirk finds its way across his features

“you’re just here for a breast examination?”

“yeah”

“any reason why?”

“just a regular checkup”

jin nods his head, closes his folder, and stands up

he has his hands in his pocket and honestly, his chest has never looked broader

“lets go to the examination room, okay?”

waits for you to exit before he closes his office door

so you finally get to the exam room and he pulls out a stethoscope and various other things for a routine checkup.

the first thing he does it check your heart

and let me tell you it was not you resting heartbeat

he is so fucking close okay

“take a deep breath and hold it for me, okay?”

god forbid you dont do what he says

if jin was my dr he could tell me to eat raw beef and id still do it knowing the consequences

anyway

he charts you weight, height, blood pressure, etc

as hes turned around putting all his equipment back in place he tells you to take your shirt and bra off

the first thing that comes across your mind are those stupid scenarios where the pizza guy comes and u have no money and u know what happens

and youre like.... this is it....

wrong he couldn’t care less about your exposed chest

because hes professional

the entire time hes doing the exam you cant look him the eye

he finishes up and tells you to go ahead and get dressed again

and you gladly do so

after your done he turns around with a big smile

“well the good news is, there’s nothing to be concerned about.”

and your like fuck yeah

but your also like fuck no what’s the bad news

so your quick to ask him whats up

“so... the bad news?”

and he sighs, humming a little as he thinks about what to say

“i had a dinner reservation for two, but i’ll be the only one coming.”

and youre like... THIS IS IT.

“have you ever had tteokbbeoki?”

that night he looked completely different than he had in his white coat

he wore a ill-fitting black hoodie and big glasses

and looked so comfy

you two spent the entire life cracking jokes

and he even mustered up the courage to tease you a little by feeding you

“shut up, it’s not that hot.”

“it is too!”

“you’d never make it in korea.”

and one last minute date turned into two, and then four, and then ten.

you two had been dating for six months now

and you get all your examinations free

hes just a very sweet man who cares a lot about you?? best couple 2k17 goes to jin x y/n

bonus! he has a stupid sense of humor.

after sex he always says some stupid gynecologist pun

“i’ve seen my fair share of boobs, but yours are the best”

“second looks never hurt. round two? i need to make sure you’re healthy”

“please stop hitting me y/n you love my jokes”

[goatpaste]

#4-14 for goat 1 !!!

oough here i goooo

4) Give us a summary of their backstory.

 (ooughhh im gonna actually go long on this because yeaaah)

they grew up just outside of Arizona in a large desert ranch with his parents and relatives. he loved to roam around the wild wasteland and catch baby geckos and help tend to the bighorners. 

when he got older he took up a job with a mail company who was lookin for couriers and he did the job fairly well. he got work done and blended into the business until the one job that changed his day to day life

during his delivery was chased down and shot by benny. the process of the chase he fell off a cliff into the town of goodsprings tearing the right side of his face on the way down. then he was dragged out to the grave sight where he was shot and buried.

he was brought back by the doctor of goodsprings, and with the memory of what had happened he fell into a depressive state and left town. he traveled for a month with no goal until he ended up into the powder gangers campsite. living there as a member of the gang. he died his hair and rehabilitated himself with weapons as his vision and hearing had been ruined on the right side of his face. he was a changed man, very quiet and stoic.

when the NCR attacked the campsite leaving Goat without a home he finally lifted himself out of his self deprecating hole long enough to deiced to hunt down benny and get revenge. 

he found benny and had him crucified with the legion (Goat had no connect with the legion let alone knew their deal beyond the fact that they offered a terrible fate for benny) 

after this he found himself wandering the waste without a goal once again. the vegas strip asked for his help, he spent time with the kings and tried talking to other factions but found the weight of the responsibilities he had been handed far too much for himself to handle and ran away.

he found himself on big mountain with the think tank and.. made a home there? he found himself to like the life there and wanted not to go back and have to take responsibility for potentially ruining people’s lives.

he constantly thinks about when he left behind and doesnt how their fairing without him and terribly fears that his decision to do nothing hurt more than it did to do anything.

5) What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em?

they had a normal name before getting a job in the courier business before changing it to Goat officially for both privacy and fitting to their job in the wasteland. also its a trans thing lol

he wont tell anyone his original name but if you dig into it you can find papers he signed when joining the mail corp with the name Gindel Hunther. but he claims its just a name he used to sign papers before changing his name

6) What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people?

Goat is bi.. ish. they prefer men but like women to sometimes. he is trans and identifies as a man. and their plenty comfortable with their identity and will get in your face if you make a fuss about it. 

he is interested in people but also like comes off as angry and intimidating a lot so most people dont either like him or are very nervous around him. so the closest to a relationship he has is flings with people and his stealth suit mk ii who hes close and like to talk to 

7) Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope?

oh absolutely, big time he has ptsd (along with other things) and usually ends up just tinkering with weapons and electronics to fix them. if that doesnt work then he’ll go outside and take a walk around big mt or just lay down in the dirt

8) Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them?

not really, beyond their mental illness they dont have any physical illness. the most they have is scars and bad hearing in the right side. oh also has spine troubles (at least until they arrive to big mountain and no longer had to worry about his spine lol)

9) How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe?

they used to be pretty into it, they would want to look good as a mailman as he was the face of the deliveries and was very friendly and looked sharp. they keep a very tidy appearance. 

then the incident with Benny half his face was left disfigured and he kinda just gave up? he wandered into the waste and joined the powder gangers for a few months before coming out of a depressive state. he made it his quest to get revenge on benny by any means possible. his got covered in scars and blemishes from both gang life and finding benny.

he showers and brushes his hair but as for how his body looks he just doesnt care

10) What do they fear the most?

being a failure. letting people down. he knew the people of the strip wanted his help but he ran away from it all and hides away in big mountain. but he doesnt want to go back, he scared of messing up and ruining new vegas and  doesnt know who should be in control. 

11) They’re biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw?

their biggest flaw is their kinda selfish. they do most things for themselfs. their not out to put others down just to get better in life. but if he is given big responsibilities he cant fix with a fight then he runs away.

12) What are they most insecure about?

their lazy eye and bad hearing, they dont care about the scars or the boobs or the lackof eyebrows. but their off putting eye and the fact that they have a hard time hearing people when they try to ask him stuff or talk to him tends to make people think he doesnt like them or doesn't care enough to listen and is generally just rude. but he’s just havin a hard time and feels self caution about how these things make people perseve things about him.

he still has the part of him who wants to get along with others.

13) What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders)

he really likes animals so as tough as deathclaws are he respects the creature and stays his distances and watches from afar. but he does have a fear for mantis. he gets the jitters around big the incests all together.

also heights, cliffs and mountains tend to freak him out

14) What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus)

goat’s birthday is January 21st so he’s an aquarius 

and i dont know a damn thing about the zodiacs beyond this lol

[magalamantle]

SO THIS IS... a really long post of a bigass ask meme, all the answers, about a fallout oc!!! ummm for warnings. #violence #alcohol #alcoholism #drug abuse ?

IM LIKE INFINITELY SORRY if this is just long, and the whole dash, on like, mobile or anything, i got carried away and had a lot of fun with it um,,,,

OK SO TO START OUT a quick summary of this character: marion tremblay, 26 years old, they/them pronouns, a courier six (but i might write them into a non-six role idk) with Sight Gone Wrong. imagine savestates, but the character only experiences the "canonical" ie last save. so they go from neutral to knowing exactly how to process a situation, but it causes a LOT of stress on them, including an incredibly distinctive negative feeling when a "save" occurs and nightmares depicting all the plays gone wrong. in addition, the successful path isnt always harmless, and often leads to heavy injury - just not death. not to mention the fact that the successful path doesnt always help people theyre trying to help, just them.

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles5/carpy-hairstyle7.htm

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles6/hairstyle-carpy12.htm

marion is incredibly stressed and doesnt get it, runs into danger and knows exactly what to do, doesnt know why, doesnt understand how it all adds together, and doesnt understand to maybe take it a little slower. then again, when they try to chill out and live normally the nightmares just get worse and worse. so basically they self medicate to dull the dreams a bit and it just makes everything even more stressful.

theyre a courier/jack of all trades/mercenary type that uses a recharger pistol, and has no self of self preservation. is struggling, indulges often, and is impossibly easy to charm. does things for the fuck of it, anxious, hesitantly affectionate, eventually very protective and supportive, childish and constantly tired lol.

anyway heres the questions!!!

Which Fallout game are they from? new vegas :Y

Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? they end up joining the ncr - they have plans and intentions to go for a free vegas, but realize eventually that the ncr is probably a lot closer to a safe vegas than they were before. kind of insists that the people get a say in things.

DOES have enough time to basically fuss with all the families on the strip and various societies - basically destroys the omertas, takes a long time and a lot of trauma to fix the situation of the white glove society, keeps house alive but out of power which basically really fucks marion up for a long long time, they then spend a million years slowly working their way into the brotherhood of steel to try to get them to kind of... not be involved anymore, same with the khans

they dooooo clear out vault 3 entirely though

What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? str 4; per 8; end 5; cha 4; int 7; agi 3; luk 9. peep that luck bro

Give us a summary of their backstory. OK SO... marion was part of a pretty biggish family closer up north, just kind of, they did business and were vaguely well off. they were always pretty pretentious and loved reading books n shit, tinkering with tech, so their parents were v happy with it. then around the age of thirteen their sight started kicking in, which manifested itself at first as just like a really heavy uneasy feeling whenever something was about to happen, and later kind of... worked itself into what it is now. anyway, they didnt cope very well with it and ended up fucking up a lot of relationships and things when they booked it at about seventeen.

at which point they kind of became a jack of all trades, constantly travelling, settling generally in the mojave. courier mostly at first, then eventually also a mercenary when the business started booming. they constantly had like, at least a couple dozen things going on, so occasionally they would forget a job or two. but considering their sight, they more or less had the ability to go into places that literally no one else could and come out bruised and bloodied but alive. so generally? business was good.

they did a lot of putzing around the strip, helped the followers a bit, etc. just generally has a little bit of history in most parts of the mojave.

after they got shot they forgot some... importantish things, but anyway they eventually fucked off, got ed-e, wandered around, rescued raul+visited him until they eventually just invited him along.

What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? marion tremblay - a quebecois name basically, uh pretty much their family line came from canada pre annex and were bitter about it.

What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? theyre nonbinary, just kind of, everythings a mess. nothing is definite. they have bigger stuff going on lol. just accepts whatever theyre labelled, but will explain if pressed

Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? uhhh technically they have... some sort of flashbacks, from their sight, that gives them really horrible nightmares. they definitely self medicate its pretty bad. of course they dont really associate their habit of running into danger with their anxiety and attacks and shit, so they basically end up dissociating and confused most of the time, and figure thats just the way it is. and drink. gestures

Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? nah marions got nothing. theyre surprisingly physically healthy considering the fact that theyre basically useless physically

How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? they care just as little about bathing as most people in the mojave, but appreciate the ability to wash their hair - comb it pretty regularily. it gets really bad and knotted if they dont

What do they fear the most? their shitty vision failing to manage to do anything for people they love. its done it before

They’re biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? their total lack of self-preservation and knowledge of self. like theyll do unhealthy stuff and get totally confused why they feel like shit, dont understand that running into things carelessly is what is making them constantly anxious and depressed, and they think that their inability to talk to people is what is fucking things up

What are they most insecure about? they pretty much lack any insecurity. they know theyre pretty bad at talking to people, but theyre not so much nervous about it as just dont really like doing it

What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) most bugs actually. since their sight kind of just keeps them from dying, it usually keeps them from dealing with deathclaws at all - but hanging around cazadores and getting poisoned just kind of means downing so many bottles of water and antivenoms, and it fucking Hurts. plus they just find the way they move really really disgusting lol

What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) mnmnnmn pisces sun. taurus moon. 

What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) infp lol

What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) gonna say hufflepuff because theyre a big softie when it comes to people they actually do like

Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) uh probably instinct? i think thats the yellow one right? 

Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? theyre really good with math and rhythm - not quite as good with interpersonal stuff, or intra for that matter. they dont know shit about themself lol. theyre really good at science stuff in general, though - comes from fiddling with that sort of shit

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)

im not too good at pinning down characters, but honestly somewhere between chaotic good and true neutral. will help people, sure, for a price - or if they seem really really desperate. dislikes copious rules but wont go out of way to topple rules so long as they seem more or less fair

Do they have any hobbies? What are they?

they play harmonica! they like to think up songs, make harmonies to the songs on the radio. when they were little they liked to fuss with math puzzles and science shit but lost a lot of the focus as their sight got stronger, stopped being able to sit still long enough to really work on stuff. they like to fuss with ed-e sometimes lol. upgrades n stuff. polishin him

Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? when marion was more into consistent courier-ing, they liked pretty much any holiday that people sent gifts to each other. good for business, it was nice to see people so happy, PLUS people always tipped really well and gave them free food n stuff out of thankfulness.

What’s their favorite season? autumn, mostly - most fair weather. loves the winter when theres no storms or anything - nice to wear lots of layers of clothing and have it be appropriate.

Do they have a temper or are they level headed? pretty level headed, but when they lose their temper they sound kind of ridiculous because their voice gets really high and they??? talk like???? this?????? and theres a lot of gesturing.

they dont really so much lose their temper when they go into combat situations simply because they tend to go from zero to everyones dead, pew pew pew. it does happen sometimes in really tough, long situations, but as it turns out being angry doesnt really make your laser pistol shoot any better or harder Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? theyre so un-in-tune with their own feelings that they tend to not understand why or what theyre feeling. so its not so much hiding as like ????!??!!?!?!?!?

Are they a leader or a follower?

a leader out of necessity.

How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? creepy. first impression is generally that theyre very businesslike, probably too frail to complete a job. “whys this person being so nice when they look like they want to eat me”

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? they basically never travelled with a companion until recently. started traveling with ed-e, basically just because he makes sounds when things are happening, eventually found raul and after a good couple times of going back to him to get their laser pistol fixed just kind of invited him to come along. didnt realize he wouldnt be able to fix their pistol on the way lol

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? they have the ability to be pretty selfless for the most part since theyre pretty well off from all the work they did before getting shot in the head. on the other hand, theyre not really used to hanging out with other people so theyre kind of selfish when it comes to food n stuff, at least until they got sassed enough for it

What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) they usually like people with silver tongues and wide shoulders

Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? they basically do not flirt. they dont register flirting, either. its pretty easy to charm them, but marion is not... a charming person

What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? listen i made the with the almost exclusive purpose of dating raul so. interested lol

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? diplomatically. they generally dislike having to actually, be in danger, but theyre really not charismatic so it usually ends up resorting to either violence, or very well-backed up threats

What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? they are TOTAL SHIT at sneaking, for like no reason. theyre just... really not athletically inclined. their strategy is usually run and gun, dont stop moving, ABS - always be shooting. turns out when you have a rechargeable gun and the luck of the devil, it doesnt matter how many bullets you take as long as you win lol

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? recharger pistol!!! they also carry a tiny bowie knife just in case. mostly used to cut plants off stems and cut meat off things. its a whole experience

Their most prized possession? pretty much everything they own is replaceable. the harmonica is nice, cause it pretty much still works entirely, but its definitely not super special or anything. theyd still sell it for a nice meal though

Their thoughts on power armor? a nice idea, but full heavy armor makes it kind of difficult to travel large distances, especially over mountains n shit

Favorite armor/ outfit? gecko-backed leather armor, plus a shitty hood they slapped on top of it. they think it looks so cool, plus its plain enough that its comfortable. they really want a tux lol

How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? a gun? yes. a laser pistol? no. the second things have like, physical bullets in it, they get super stressed. using lasers instead of pistols or bullets allows a certain level of, like, disconnection from the situation.

What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? they really hate it. but honestly they get worse nightmares if they dont keep doing things, like constantly. they prefer to not really have to kill people, so tend to like... threaten and bluster their way through things pretty often. they wont chase down a fleeing enemy unless theyre really super in the zone

Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) definitely fear. they pretty much cant die, so theyre pretty confident about it, but its mostly because they manage to disconnect so much from situations that it basically just gives them night terrors. like i said before, complete disconnection from their own emotions. basically a whole lot of marions problems could be fixed by accepting that maybe running into danger is a bad idea, even if they basically cant die.

tl;dr, they think they accept it, but 100% fear

Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? they move around SO much. marions pretty much been on the move since they turned 17, constantly doing just about anything they could get their hands on. a million jobs all at once

What’s their favorite location? the strip. they pretty much used to spend most of their spare time down there - loved the food at the ultra luxe, the booze n drugs at gomorrah, and the music company and games at the tops. a couple days of throwing caps down the drain, followed by doing a bunch of odd jobs in the area is a good way of spending a whole week. then, once they had enough messages and packages and people to kill/find, theyd take off again

Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? marion kind of sees themself in feral ghouls. impossible to kill, but at what cost, etc etc. very angsty. thinks ghoul voices are actually kind of pretty

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? combination. scavenges what they can, buys the rest. when youre as lucky as they are when finding bullets and bits, you definitely have enough caps for everything else. since theyre shit at repairing, they always get their equipment repaired while out

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? they definitely amble. long term plans are definite, but when you have maybe five jobs happening at once it doesnt hurt to step aside and grab a new one on the way

How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? they tend to get themself pretty blitzed to be able to sleep with few dreams. as a result they can pretty much sleep anywhere, but theyre pretty fitful about it

What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) they used to like butcher pete but got pretty tired of it after a good, long amount of time. now they think aint that a kick in the head is super funny. since they got shot in the head.

theyre okay with literally every radio station, but likes black mountain radio a lot even though its a lot weirder than it was before. theyre really not sure if the people on the radio are uh ok but uh. makes it a point to eventually check that out.

What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? they fucking LOVE fresh fruit - trail mix is a huge fave, nd theyll pay pretty much any amount of money for it, especially since it keeps pretty well. theyre also a fan of like, gourmet shit, since they have the money to spend on it. good steaks are nice. theyre pretty picky, but they usually have a pretty good supply of long-keeping foods to eat on the road. they cant really cook that well though

What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? vodka is a fave. gets them real drunk real fast. a long time ago they managed to trade for some nuka-cherry and its basically their favourite thing in the whole world??????? has a weird distaste for sunset sarsaparilla and gives it all to raul

Do they have any tag skills? energy weapons, science, medicine. really good with e.weapons, more than decent with science, pretty good with medicine. mostly out of patching self up.

Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) Caps Lol. nah but really they pick up anything that seems interesting to sell. they do have a big intention to buy the unique recharger pistol but its never in stock whenever they go to the kiosk

Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? theyre pretty shitty at getting traps, but their luck is amazing with it. they can pretty much walk through a minefield just fine. like running through is safer than trying to disarm, because when you run through a minefield you either die or you dont - when you try really delicately you might blow some important bits up, but you wont die lol

[swearronchanel]

and my commentary continues: series 6, episode 2 (if this is now a thing idk what to title it)

You asked for it, my first class isn’t until noon tomorrow so I can sleep in & so, I complied Also the SAG awards finished at like 10pm so even after doing my night routine it’s still early haha here it goes …

- Oh shit I forgot color - ah I really like the new intro - Penny’s outfit is so cute - “Walk don’t run” stfu Sister Ursula this isn’t elementary school - “Have you lost your marbles bubsy” haha that’s cute - UGH I WANNA FIGHT THIS NUN - LET JULIENNE ARRANGE THE DAMN FLOWERS - This is when sister Ursula presses sister Monica Joan about the bon bons lol - “Unlike your sisters” guessing u don’t think u count - You’re damn right - Sister MJ sly af 😏 wish she was my grandma - Aw penny it’s ok sweetie all will be well - AlRight so where is St Cuthberts, is it closer than the London? Idk just wondering - I don’t care that much tbh - Damn this man gonna go blind how sad - I like knowing what happens when I’m watching bc I can’t take so much I get anxious - But are we not going to mention Patsy’s wig anymore? It’s still ugly, lucky emerald is beautiful anyway - - Ugh my bbys are still so hurt about the thalidomide 💔💔 - IT WAS NOT EITHER OF YOUR FAULTS - YES IT IS A MIRACLE PATRICK, YOU SHOULD’VE MENTIONED IT LAST WEEK but it’s all good - HE’S TOUCHING HER STOMACH AH - AND THEY KISSED Lmaoo I bet this will break Tumblr - UgH SUCH A SWEET MOMENT TO MELT MY COLD HEART - Jk this show has made me such an emotional mess, like I rarely ever used to cry or anything - But it could also be because of university diminishing my sanity - “We should really start telling people” - YEA PLS GIVE US A CUTE SCENE TELLING EVERYONE @ NONNATUS - - Buttt, I’m gonna guess it’s either going to be implied that they told them off screen or they won’t find out till she starts bleeding mid inspection ?? idk I’m just guessing, don’t come at me lmaoo - Patrick’s smirk “he’ll certainly understand” 😂😂 - SHELAGH’S CRINGING FACE I LOVE IT - YOU KNOW IM HERE FOR ALL CRINGEY EXPRESSIONS - Plus that’s my bby - - PHYLLIS SAW PATS AND DELIA - SHE KNOWS & IM GLAD IT WAS HER TO FIRST FIND OUT - - alright so let me be annoying real quick - From that clip from the casebook Valerie is problematic/lowkey racist & no estoy aquí para eso PERO I like her in the moment? - One, her outfit is cute - & B, she gets along well with my shelagh and seems nice.. I’m not gonna forget her comment though lol, so I’m going to stay neutral for now - - Ok the Marsh baby is born next - Lol sorry I love when sister Winifred is being cringey or funny but this was just kinda boring but I know it’ll get better later in the episode - BUT SERIOUSLY I WANNA KNOW SISTER WINIFRED’S REAL NAME - Idk why that was capitalized I don’t feel that strongly but I’m very curious !¡! - - Shelagh being all cute and cheeky giving those vaccinations - Penny is so sweet - - Alright this is so irrelevant but still, Shelagh is outside.. so Why would she throw up in a napkin in her hand? lol, all that open space 😭😂 idk I really hate throwing up and will not let my self throw up. Not even vlad can make me😷 - SHIT THAT EXPLOSION THO - what were they doing exactly? - like a bitch over here a lil confused :/ - MY LIL SUPERHERO SPRINGING TO ACTION YES BBY - shit George’s blind for good now it’s sad - and arthur’s gonna die damn - - look at disheveled Shelagh so damn pretty but I wonder when she got that cut lol - Lmaoo @ Valerie, so she knows the Nonnatuns - - Damn I’m only 17 mins in why do I talk so much shit to myself - Sister MJ sneaking that bread during sister Ursula’s prayer is me 😂 - I swear though if Sister Ursula tries to get rid of Sister MJ I will fight - My eyes roll every time this woman is on my screen - Phyllis chewing angrily is also me - “Travel visas there have been canceled” shit pats it’s too relevant right now - “I’m trifle deaf these days” PHYLLIS U ARE A GEM - Penny wins best dressed patient - - Patrick worrying is precious - SHELAGH TRYING TO HINT WHILE SMILING IS SO FUNNY BUT WHY - Lmao why are they acting like Tim is not literally right there? - Also this boy is 15 why is he not ever with friends - Of course he knew, he’s always around and isn’t dumb at all. He basically grew up around pregnant ladies tbh - “.. Good I don’t want to know any other details” lmao 😂 - I knew he’d be pleased but I lowkey wanted him not to upset or annoyed so he could have a good little story line - It’s not realistic that this 15 year old is so pleasant with his parents all the time - Like I was an angsty fright @ 15 - lol I’m acting like I’m old, I’m going to be 19 & I’m still like that^ with my parents a lot of the time - - Why do British people call bandaids “plasters”? Hm. I just think of plaster of Paris for like walls or whatever it’s used for - “I’m a slow healer” lol Shelagh is so precious - “If the baby’s a girl I’m moving out” I think it’ll be a boy. Actually Idk forget I said that - Don’t be nervous bby, speak up you got this - “That’s my girl” yes Patrick that’s our girl protect her at all freaking cost 😭 - I’ve gotten so far without saying “fuck” I’m proud - - “This is the dark before the dawn, but there is always a dawn” thanks sister I needed that - “I’ve committed a crime"😭😭 - I love sister MJ - also not gonna lie I cried a little the first time watching this - - Some mothers of color in the community centre makes me happy - Who’s the model though? 😏 - Someone find him & tag me - Ugh here comes sister “I ruin everything” - Honestly when is sister Julienne just gonna come out and say “you gotta go”? - No that’s not the way you do things - fuck yea sister J - “We must simply sit it out and wait for Churchill” - I HOPE THATS TRIXIE - BUT also I really want Sister Julienne to be the one who saves the day - Lol yea Babs your wardrobe should step it up but it’s okay - - Shelagh don’t be nervous you’re gonna kill it - Does sister Ursula even do anything? She doesn’t see patients does she? Nah she just makes everyone angry - Get up outta here - Lol I’m so Brooklyn for that - “Mrs Turner you look nice” - UM YES, MY BBY, her new dresses & coats slay - She finally took a break from the damn cardigans & I love it. Not that there’s anything wrong with cardigans but you catch my drift - Nah for real I wanted a fabulous wardrobe for Shelagh bc times are changing & Laura Main is literally gorgeous so she needs pretty outfits & got it I did - so here for it, now we wait for another pair of trousers. lets get it 1962 - this first dress had such jackie kennedy vibes, love it - - “Consequences be DAMMED” YES PATS - Phyllis and Sister J are proud, I really want one of them to press Sister Ursula - Look @ Delia actually being a nurse! - ah penny 💔 - - Shelagh’s so nervous at first but then is like YOU KNOW WHAT ASSHAT JUDGE - “Where is nurse Mount?” , “where she is needed” YES SISTER JULIENNE - love the blue coat Shelagh - “I’m not ill, I’m just tired and angry” same - Don’t cry bby - “Our best is worthless bc it won’t change anything” ugh crush my heart, especially that little hug. I need to hug them all - lol who invited Tom to the hospital - he’s so handsome though so it’s ok - TELL THEM, STAND UP - “We need to fight” yes ! - I was worried penny’s baby wouldn’t live - C'mon Pats be pc - okay patsy opening up, crushes my heart she’s so closed off but I feel - Here comes the wicked bitch of the east [end] - Whoops can I call a fictitious nun a bitch - YES PATS YES DONT TAKE HER SHIT - Aw patsy, you two will okay, I mean look sister Bernadette came back as Shelagh because of letters so you never know - - Shelagh’s baby blue outfit >> - she needs to go out in public more with her hair down and slay everyone’s life - “Not today.” Yes Delia - “You did it Mrs Turner, you made em listen!” - Yes tf she did. I’m so proud - the set makeup artist did a crazy good job with the burns - “We never really out grow our parents, we just think we do” aw I should call my mum and dad - mm maybe later it’s midnight lmao - DELIA SAID I LOVE U - I FEEL LIKE NO IMPORTANT COUPLE on here HAS SAID “I LOVE YOU” to each other ?? - They almost kissed aw - Fred just break the door damn - Reminds me a little of when Jenny left - Aw the Marsh fam - Phyllis you are gold - Phyllis is still learning Spanish, please give her an opportunity to use it! - the only Spanish speaking mother was conchita, wasn’t that the first episode ever? lets get another one - Anyway, this was so sad. - “The pain it costs to love..” PHYLLIS I LOVE You. You deserve everything good - Aw all the other mothers with penny! - Alright Lets hear it Vanessa - Aw Delia Bonus: preview for next week - my other bby Trixie is back !! - hope she loses her shit when she realizes sister Ursula is ruining everything + patsy/sister mary cynthia are gone - My bby Shelagh looks so pretty!💕 - BUT I KNOW NO ONE IS SHUTTING DOWN ANYTHING - I will not have it - Phyllis spilling the ever so obvious and boiling tea, sister Ursula is UNFIT - Pls let Sister Julienne say something crazy to her before she goes - Why is babs crying?? - ugh of course that’s the most of a preview we get - Nothing bad will happen to my bbys I won’t have it. Protect them at all costs or I’ll spontaneously combust - Jk but I might flip my shit or throw my laptop - But for real for Shelagh to miscarry 3 episodes in would be a waste of a storyline - Plus it is a drama, we’ll be shook for a while, then we’ll cry, we’ll laugh & then Vanessa Redgrave says something profound and we go on with the week - The End 🙃🙃 - If you read this far, you’re a champ - I did this for u all

[pen-tagon-wvja-blog]

DON'T FALL(jungkook high school au)

Jungkook high school au Genre: high school au(fluff) Word count:…who knows? Paring:jungkook and reader(y/n) Summary: You are in a very popular kpop group called Krushed and jungkook is in BTS. You’re around 18(because your the maknae). You have to learn korean in order to move to korea and go to a korean school. Lets just say that going to the same school and entainment building as flirty jeon jungkook is, as you expected…..hard..

CHAPTER: 1 Part:½

Besides being half english and half korean, in the last two years a lot has happened. Such as living in LA (speaking english), to being forced to audition for bighit entertainment and being in your own kpop group, causing you to live in seoul (speaking korean). You have just done your comeback so you have more time at school; and you don’t know if that is a bad or good thing yet. You go to a school where most kpop artists go because its a overall art school which covers the subjects of art, dance, drama, photography, vocal and music. You didnt mind having to walk to school as was only a couple of streets away which is great because if you wear a mask not many people will recognise you. You knew some of the kpop artists and trainee’s in your classes and you werent in a class without your best friend, Momo. Apart from art, your favourite class was photography, but lunch time is the best.

In your kpop group there were 5 members: Yeonjoo- Leader, oldest, sensible, vocal Taeyoon- Lead dancer, tomboy, main rapper Yura- 4D and silly, vocal, friendly Happi- happy?!, dancer, vocal, cute, energetic Hyunji- vocal, dancer, sleepy and lazy Y/N- main vocal, main dancer, main face, flexible, shy, a bit of rap SIGH! You got along with all of the members but with taeyoon you could tell her anything anything and she would understand, she knew you inside out, you could trust her. You were worried about if people would like you, so you usually look your self up on the internet and people are usually nice but they all find it cute how you and taeyoon are so comfortable around each other, like when you casually just layed sprawled across her on the sofa.

Sadly you got woken up by water being thrown on your face by yeonjoo.“Wake up y/n…. sorry, i even tried tickling your tummy” were the first words you heard that morning. “Why are you like this?!” You replied with a groan while rubbing the water of your face and the sleep out of your eyes. “You should be excited becuase its your first day at your new school!“she said. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble but i’m not excited at all, if anything i’m sort of nervous.” It was true, it had to be said that you were nervous but when you said that you thouht to yourself that anyone would feel like that…its normal. “Don’t be, you’ll be fine. Here get ready. ” she declared while dumping my school uniform on my head. Yeonjoo was like a mum to the group, as none of us lived with our real mums, she took that place and made it her job to take care of us. UUUUURRRRGGGGGHHHHHH You had to wake up. As you opened your eyes, you realised that the school uniform was BRIGHT YELLOW!! just think positive. Anyway yellow could be the new fashion…….pppfftt……NO!! You decised to get it over with. At least you didnt look like a banana, it looked okay..ish. As you were the youngest you still had to go to school while all the other lazy members layed on theirs buts all day except when they have to open the door for the take-away man to give them their unhealthy lunch. You did your morning routine and headed to the living room which had hyunji laying face down on the carpet. You carried her to her room and layed her dow on her bed said bye and went to have breakfast. You had breakfast, brushed your teeth and grabbed your bag ready to go. Finally you shouted “BYE UNNIES!” And left. As you were halfway down the flat stairs you realised that you had forgotten your mask so you had to go back and get it. “ IM GONNA BE LATE!” So you ran to the dorm and back after grabbing your mask and putting it on.

《~Jungkooks POV~》

Jungkook practically had the same morning, with that he got water chucked on him, told to get ready, got ready, went, forgot his dancing clothes, went back, got them, and was late. “Well done jungkook!” He said to himself sarcasticlly.

《~ Y/N POV ~》

As you nervously tried to find the location of the school, your hands turned sweaty. Finally after a long search you found it and said “you can do this y/n” to yourself. Then you confidently strolled into the school looking like you were meant to be late. You tried to find the reception so they could take you to your class. YESSSS!! They have signs up!! You followed the signs untill you reached the counter of reception. They told you what class you were in, gave you your timetable and a vague direction of where to go. Squinting your eyes to try and figure out what the worn out signs said above each door, was a difficult task. Uuurrrgghhh they werent in any specific order, which wasnt helping. Aa-ha! You found one that looks like your class number so you knocked on the door politely and waited for an answer. You got an answer and went in. “Excuse me sir but is this class 18 because as im new i cant really read the worn out signs very well.“you said while gulping because all the eyes were on you. “Its okay, im sorry but this isnt class 18. Class 18 is just round the corner, i could get someone to take you if you like?” He said kindly and you replied with “Yes please sir”.

《~jungkooks POV~》

You werent running to school because you had a nice homeroom teacher who lets you off because your an idol. If you were really late, you would just say that there was lots of fans outside and if there wasnt then no one would disagree because people knew not to mess with you. As you casually strolled into school with no worries you saw something that stopped your movements completely. A girl. Not any girl but it just had to be a transfer student that was lost and looking really cute because she couldnt find her classroom. But this time she was REEEEEAAAAALLLYY pretty, like heart stopping pretty. And you being the flirty jeon jungkook you were, decided to go talk to her and help her find her class. Lets g–. Suddenly you felt that legs wouldnt move even if you willed them to move…they didnt. Uurrgghh why now?! You completely froze! Come on brain….ENGAGE! Then you realised that she was walking away from you…your eyes widened. She was going to YOUR classroom! She knocked, waited then turned the handle. It was like as if everything was in slow motion. You removed your headphones that were now playing sad music…typical. You knew you were a flirter and you admitted it, you did it for fun but this time was no fun, this was dead serious. You were in love… TRUE love. And not any part of you could deny it, you had fallen for this mystery girl who looks foriegn…. but what if you dont speak her language?! Aaaahh i bet namjoon hyung will speak her language… *sigh*urgh jungkook wake up you havent even spoken to her yet, GET A GRIP!! You kind of recognise her though…

《~Y/N POV~》

“Yes please sir” you replied politely. Suddenly it hit you, you were an idol thats why they were all staring at you! “Hhhhmmmmm, Ah! Taehyung! Would you like to go and take this student to class 18?” He asked one of his students. Because you were too busy talking to yourself you forgot to look around the class. You looked around the class and your eyes imediatly landed on the tall boy at the back who was asleep whith his head against the window, mouth wide open. You scoffed quietly and waited for a responce from the student that is so called taehyung. WAIT! like KIM taehyung, THE kim taehyung…from bts!? WAIT. You looked at the sleeping student and stared at his face intensly with wide eyes. IT WAS TAEHYUNG!!! “TAEHYUUUUNG!!“said the teacher obviously annoyed at the fact that he got no responce. You looked at the teacher and saw that he was looking at the same boy you were looking at! The cute kpop idol woke up with his back straight and eyes wide open and looking straight at you. You felt a bit centered so you broke the intense gaze that he created. "Yes sir?” He answered while finally breaking the gaze between you and him and looked at the teacher in question. “I wouldnt like you to sleep in my class but i would like you to take this new student to class 18 please.” He declared which you sneered at. STOOOPP! That means that taehyung will be taking me and me only around the school with no one watching us. WE WILL BE ALONE!!! eeeekkk! “Yes sir” he said with his big box smile on. To be honest you had huge crushes on taehyung and jungkook, you just didnt show it in order to seem respectful to your sunbaes. Taehyung took his precious time going down the middle of seats. But before he finished his admirable walk he banged his foot on the leg of a table. Wow, real smooth. “Ow.” He said like it didnt even hurt when he was making a face that said it hurt a lot. Reaching where you were standing he gave you a sly wink when he walked past and the teacher wasnt looking. OOOMMMMMGGGOOOSSSHHH!!!!! TAEHYUNG JUST WINKED AT ME……AAAAHHHH!!! You were silently fangirling on the inside but on the outside you were blushing sooooo hard. You told your cheecks to calm down but they didnt. You didnt have many friends at your old school, only close ones but when they heard you were a trainee they all wanted to be your friend. Typical. The reason you didnt have many friends is because you were naturally cold hearted towards new people. You probably didnt notice but you were being cold towards taehyung and you couldnt help it even though you practically knew him inside out. Back to reality. Taehyung walked past you and he purposely brushed his hand against yours while reaching for the door handle. You were totally fangirling inside yourself. You still couldnt believe that TAEHYUNG was beside you. It looked as though taehyung didnt recognise you which is good because if he did then he might treat you differently. When he was leaning past you, you took in his scent and it smelt manly but friendly at the same time. You loved it so much. After that he opened the door with ease and held it open, signalling for you to go through. ‘Such a gentleman’ you thought. You walked through without a smile and stopped outside, waiting for him to direct you where to go.

《~jungkook POV~》

It was true though, you did recognise her. You stood there thinking about how she would react if you flirt with her, but if you flirt with her she might not like it and therefore not like me, I’ll probably come across as too in her face, confident and needy so lets not do that. By now your legs could move and you could go in your classroom, sit next to her, know her name and dream about her. You started to walk in the direction of your classroom untill when you were about 5 metres away from the door you saw her walk out after someone opened the door for her. Maybe she got the wrong classroom, i mean the signs arent very clear. Then you were about to walk up to her and say hi untill you saw who walked out after her….taehyung. Dont get me wrong i like taehyung because we are best friends but this time you got a bit annoyed about him being with your girl. What are you thinking!? She is not your girl, stop dreaming jungkook. Although it would be nice if she was… YAH!! stop it!

《~y/n POV~》

After taehyung came out after you, he said “this way” and heads in the direct to your right. He leads the way and after 2 seconds he stops which makes you bump into his back. You rub your nose and look around taehyungs body to see a boy staring.WAIT!!!!! IS THAT JEON JUNGKOOK??!! OOO MMMMM GGGOOOSSSHHH!!! IT IS !! You blushed while standing behind taehyung but peaking around him with wide eyes to see 2 of your crushes. Jungkook just stood there staring but you couldnt tell who he was staring at yet untill taehyung spoke. “Oh!! Jungkookie!! What are you doing here?, are you late for the hundredth time?” Taehyung took steps towards jungkook and embraced him in a ‘man hug’. jungkook didnt say anything and stood there with his mouth slightly agape, still staring. But this time he was staring over taehyungs shoulder at you. Inside you were screaming so hard and trying not to scream outloud. [He was staring like he is in my profile picture]. AAAHH 2 BIASES IN ONE TOGETHER TAEKOOK.!!….AHHH. WAIT!! he might have recognised you as you were both kpop idols! Oh no! WAIT STAY CALM, JUST CALM DOWN CHEEKS GO ON YOU CAN DO IT. GO BACK TO NORMAL. You think your cheeks have gone back to normal so you instantly bow and say “hello jungkook sunbae, i am y/n” aaaaahhhh you let sunbae slip out of your mouth, that means he will know that you are a kpop artist. NOOO! So you covered it up with “i mean hello jungkook ssi, i am y/n”. At this piont jungkook looks really confused and so does taehyung because of your mistake. “How do you know me?"he asked piontlessly. "Um jungkook if you havent noticed, your a kpop idol…practically everybody knows you.” You answered casually. Suddenly taehyung burst out laughing at the fact that jungkook still had a shocked face on. You started to giggle too, i mean how could you not when taehyung is snorting. After all the laughter we all calmed down and stood staring at each other so you decided to break the silence. “Taehyung was just showing me to my classroom, what were you doing jungkook-ssi?” “Just going to my classroom” he said calmly. That was the first thing that you have heard his say in real life instead of through a tv screen. WoW. “Anyway…y/n… lets go” taehyung said as he put both his hands on each of my shoulders and lead me through many doors while chatting untill i said “didnt sir say it was just around the corner?” “Yes he did but we are going the long way.” He confirmed. “Why?” I asked confused. “Well truly because i wanted to spend more time with you” he said and after slightly blushing. “Really, why?” “Well because i thought you were like jungkook. 1: because you were really shy, 2: because your cold at first but cute on the inside.” “YAHH! You think i am cute on the inside?” “See? You werent like this earlier because you were cold on the outside.” “I see…. then your like a hyeena!.. 1:because your hair is brown, 2: because you have big ears and 3 because you laugh a lot!” “ummmm, thank you?…. anyway would you like to sit with me at lunch?"he asked curiously. "Of course!” Your walk came to an end and at the last step you took taehyung grabbed your hand and looked straight into your eyes. “Y/N when class finishes and its time for lunch, wait outside here and DO NOT move because i will come to show you where the canteen is…okay?” “Yes” was all you could say becuase you were still over whelmed that he was holding both you hands!!!! AAAHHHH!! *fangirling inside* “promise?” Taehyung asked with a serious face.“promise."you confirmed."okay, see ya later” he said while giving your hands a little squeeze and walking away. YOU COULD LITERALLY FAINT RN AAHH!!He was holding my hands!! You had to compose yourself before going in and introducing yourself. The rest of your classes went by like a blur and it was soon lunchtime. And as taehyung told you to do, you waited outside the class….

*TO BE CONTINUED*

Authors note: I dont expect many people to read this fanfic but oh well. I will be proud of myself for getting 1 like. Wow i used a lot of capitals in this chapter! I am too tired to finish this off so i split it into 2 parts and left it on a cliffhanger. Hehe lol😜😏thats it, im finished…😊 Ep 2 should be done by 20th February 2017 Dated: 11/1/17

[trendingnewsb]

Why I aborted 2 very wanted pregnancies

April held several anniversaries for me. The anniversary of an unrealized due date, the anniversary of an ended pregnancy, the anniversary of my birth40 years ago this year. All three of these dates gave me pause to reflect on the choices Ive made.

Choice. The word feels big and comes up often lately. When faced with my strong-willed 3-and-a-half-year-old son, Ive learned to give him only two choices or else Id lose my mind. On a larger scale, Im considering leaving a career Ive pursued for over two decades and whether or not to add to our family. Such choices are par for the course as we grow and enter new phases in our lives.

But more significantly, Ive been thinking about the right to choose in the debate over abortion, which is not only threatened under the Trump administration, but also often misunderstood. The nuances that can go into making a choice to end a pregnancy are often unseen, unspoken, and never casual.

Unfortunately, my husband and I were faced with this choice. Twice. We terminated two very wanted pregnancies. To put it bluntly, Ive had two abortions.

And as our government tries to strip us of our reproductive rights, I am reminded how lucky I am to have the financial means and to live in a state where laws didnt prevent me from the choices I made. My abortions left me heartbroken, changed, and grief-strickenthat is indisputable. But everyone should be granted those choices. Those are choices Id still make today.

. . .

Itd be easy to peg me as your typical pro-choice advocate. I grew up in a liberal household. Feminism was at the core of my progressive private Los Angeles high school education. I went to a super hippie-dippy college where grades were for eggs, not people. But while I was taught to think critically about various perspectives, I was primarily surrounded by politically and socially like-minded individuals. To be honest, I never questioned whether I was pro-choice. I just was.

Photo via World Cant Wait/Flickr (CC-BY)

And then I visited a Body Worlds exhibit. This particular show featured skeletal muscles, nervous systems, and healthy and diseased organs to demonstrate the complexity of the human body. It also included a wall of 42 embryo and fetuses preserved in a glass case.

These embryos and fetuses were humanized by Body Worlds. I saw their form and I saw their potential. I saw them as life. (Not so dissimilarly as I saw the meat that I no longer ate when I became a vegetarian 10 years prior.) I remember very clearly, standing over a nine-week embryo in a glass case thinking that I believed in choice, but couldnt imagine making such a choice.

Fast forward 10 years.

I became pregnant in the summer of 2011. In September, I went in for the routine 13-week NT scan, the ultrasound that assesses your babys risk of having chromosomal abnormalities. That day, we found out that our babys nuchal fold thickness was outside of the normal range.

We sat with the genetic counselor as we gave our histories (nothing outside of the ordinary) and was given a primer on statistics and chromosomes and karyotypes and various horrifying conditions. At that point, we still didnt know exactly what it all meant for our child.

As we drove home, my husband, through his stifled tears, said to me, We cant think of it as a baby. I remember feeling aggressively defensive at my husbands reality. I had stared at the doctors screen and saw a body. I had stared at my belly and saw it swollen. Of course, it was a baby. That was never a question for me.

Test results confirmed that our baby had a significant chance of having some kind of severe abnormality that could be fatal or would likely cause him to suffer. We consulted doctors, got second opinions, and endured more testing. We were candidly, though not casually, advised by doctors to terminate and try again. And at 14 weeks, thats what we did. We made our choice.

I grieved, I processed, I sat on the couch in therapy and tried to find meaning in my experience. I planted a letter in an olive tree that I had written to our son, explaining to him why we made our decision, and that it was ultimately a decision made out of love.

I became pregnant again, at the beginning of 2012. This babys due date was exactly one year after we terminated the previous pregnancy. I found solace in that kind of synchronicity.

But of course, when I went to my routine 13-week NT scan, I was still anxious.

As I lay on the exam bed, facing a flatscreen monitor with just my name and my estimated due date, the technician asked me, Would you like me to turn the monitor off after you confirm the information is correct?

She was asking if I wanted to see my baby. Without hesitation, I told her to leave it on. I did not take my eyes off him. Here was my baby alive and living inside of me.

Soon, though, my husband and I would be faced with the same godawful, painful decision that we had made just months before.

This time around, my babys NT scan showed that his nuchal fold thickness measured twice the normal size, putting his life at even more risk than our first. My husband and I searched for a medical explanation or any scientific data that could give us an understanding as to why this happened to us not once, but twice. I scoured medical journal articles and reached what felt like the end of the internet looking for affirmations that I could carry my baby to term and not feel like I was putting my child at a significantly abnormal great risk by bringing him into the world.

We sat with the facts, the data, the expert opinions as well as second and third and fourth opinions. I had a CVS, a microarray, a full counsel on recessive testing. We had ultrasounds with specialists at both Cedars-Sinai and UCLA. We reached out to various genetic and prenatal and neonatal specialists. We made it our job to find an answer.

Despite the extensive research on my pregnancies and all of the testing, every doctor we saw was at a loss to explain why this developed with our babies twice and couldnt come up with anything beyond compassionately telling us it was two strokes of bad luck.

We made our choice. Again.

. . .

I think about what our story would have looked like under different circumstances. In another state. With abortion restrictions. With fewer means. Fewer resources. What that trajectory could have looked like in a parallel universe. And it makes me realize that while others might not agree with our choiceand I certainly can understand why some do notit was our choice to make, not our governments. It was philosophical, it was personal, and it was ours.

The Oklahoma House of Representatives passed a billin March that would ban all abortions based on genetic abnormalities. In other words, Oklahoma legislators believe that the agonizing choice that my husband and I made as a couple, both times, should have been theirs to make. Theyd get to make this choice for us even though they would do nothing to support the aftermath of that decision: setting aside funding for his medical care, holding our hands while he underwent a lifetime of treatments, alleviating our pain if he died not long after birth.

In Kentucky, there is only one abortion clinic left in the state. One in 40,400 square miles, and the governor just tried to close it. In that scenario, I think about the big-picture trajectory again: If my husband and I lived in Kentucky and we didnt have a car or have the funds to get to the closest clinic and subsequently had a child with severe and costly life threatening medical issuesa child whom may or may not have been even able to survive after being bornwhere would we all be now?

But in what could be the most damaging legislation given my situation, the Texas Senate just passed two obscenely restrictive bills: One outlawing dilation and evacuation (D&E) procedures, the safest and most effective abortion procedure for women in their second trimester and what doctors used to terminate my second pregnancy; and another called the wrongful birth bill that would make it legally OK for doctors to lie to their patients about fetal abnormalities so they dont get an abortion. Yes, doctors could make the choice to withhold my babys health issues from my husband and me, while we went on in ignorance, unable to have a choice in the future of our family.

The list of laws and states and circumstances that hinder choice goes on and on.

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While it may seem like what the Republican Party wants to do first and foremost with such restrictive legislation is prevent women from getting abortions, that motive is only secondary. Many studies have shown that women arent going to stop choosing to have abortions under strict lawstheyll find other, unsafe means to terminate their pregnancies that could put their own lives in danger. At its core, these laws are about controlling women and perpetuating feelings of shame and guilt for making choices over their own bodies.

Women have long lived with the burdens of shame; nevertheless, we have persisted. We do not shut down after making the choice to have an abortion. We do not go through with the procedureand never feel again. I have never felt so much pain, anger, sadness, grief, and confusion as I did after choosing to end my pregnancies.

Worse than the pain I felt in their absence, though, would have been not getting to make that choice at all. And to clarify: I understand why others would not make the same choice. But being forced into a life based on a doctors whim or a legislators personal ideology, being robbed of making the best personal choice for my family, would have been a pain I could not endure.

. . .

After that 13-week appointment, I decided to make the most of each day with my son while he was still in my body. We went to the beach. I showed him the ocean and the sand. We ate Indian food, Italian food, Mexican food, Mediterranean food. I read to him. I talked to him. I sang to him. I wrote him letters daily. We listened to a lot of Florence and the Machine. I explained everything that was happening to us as best as I could, as we went into each ultrasound appointment.

After considering and reconsidering all of the information we had collected over five weeks, we made the decision to go in for a D&E the day before my 35th birthday. He was 18 weeks. I woke up on my birthday longing for him and missing him terribly.

While my husband and I grieved together, I felt oddly alone in my experience. Simply put, there was a literal voidinside of me. Unlike my husband, I had pregnancy weight gain and pain and cramping and bleeding and hormonal mood swings that were constant visceral reminders of my baby whose life we chose to end. And so I took the pain pills prescribed with wine every night as I watched countless episodes of TLCsWhat Not to Wear to escape all the pain that was too hard to feel.

Because he was a baby, my baby, we had him cremated. Until we came up with the right spot to place his ashes, I carried him around with me. Some might think it weird or dark or sick, but I couldnt fathom leaving him home alone, and so he came with me in my purse to my appointments, my errands, and my work. We eventually found his spot.

My husband and I eventually tried again seven months later. I quickly became pregnant and gave birth to our son in August 2013.

I would be lying if I said I did not often see his two brothers when I look at him. All three are part of my fabricour son is here because of them. And one day, I plan on telling him about his brothers and our journey. A journey and a family we wouldnt have without choice.

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