#im SO emotional about it domt talk to me

[goldenageofwireless]

Omfg I'm thinking about 9 again. Past hyperfixation save me

[quackurucho]

ive decided im gonna watch the finale stream where the server gets nuked quite literally to hell and back and the time loop goes on on the last day of the year and im gonna try to position it so the moment where tjey respawn in the new world happens the second 2025 starts

[dingledraw]

Hey dingle random ask I know, but u have said before that u have autism, and I myself believe I have it as well, but im undiagnosed and no ine really believes me when I talk about the symptoms I share with people who are diagnosed but anyway

I think im having a shutdown? My body feels really weird like im not there. Some parts of my body is like , I domt know ut feels wlvery weird, when ppl speak to me I cant seem to open my mouth, and if I do ive been speaking really slow and soft? And im breathing really hard and ive been forcing myself to not stim, and stimming helped but it made me feel weird for neeeding to do so and im typing really fast for some reason and have been listening to the same song for like 80 times and covered myself with my blanket and locked myself in my room

I cant really get away from my trigger (its my parents fighting) so what shoyld I do? I feel so scared and on edge this never happens usually, ive been so off today ever since starting my account for the first time and im really panicking here do u have advice?

Thabk you. If you need to ignore this ask for whatever reason I understabd completely, take care ty for ur art

Oh gosh, that’s a hard question. Autism shutdowns can be triggered by many different things and the best way to deal with can differ from person to person. I’m sorry that you can away from your trigger that really sucks to hear.

In regards to feeling disconnected from your body I have a weighted blanket and a weighted plushie (I got the plushie form here) that helps me. You can use other heavy things (like a coffee table book) and try and put them your chest while you lying down and see if the weight helps you calm down. Soda can also help. That sounds odd, but the sensory input from the carbonation, the cold temperature and the flavor can also help focus on the body. Another thing that is also related to temperature, is taking something like a bag of frozen peas and again place it on your chest, which again forces your brain to connect to your body. I also find that moving my body helps, which ofc can be a big ask if you’re already exhausted, but maybe just walking around in your room while perhaps listening to something.

The most important thing to do is be kind to yourself. It sucks that you feel weird stimming, but it’s not weird that you need to do that. Autistic people don’t regulate their emotions by the same means that neurotypical people do, and there is nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to do it in front of others if you’re not comfortable, but don’t deny something that helps you and is completely harmless. You need to be kind to yourself, and give yourself what you need in order to function and be happy. If that includes stimming then you should use it. I wear headphones almost everywhere, I would rather not and wear cute earrings, but I have to do what is best for me and helps me function in a noisy environment.

Again, it’s hard to give advice since autism varies from person to person, but try different things and see what works for you without judgement in regards to whether or not it is “weird”

Take care of yourself and stay strong 💪

[the-s1lly-corner]

I love your work so much aaaaaAAAAA!!!

Ok so imma be straightforward, this is straight up me coping with irl stuff and reading your work makes me forget the cruel outside world so HERE WE GO!

Caine and Kinger x S/O who hides who they are out of fear of negative responses. Bottles it all up until they can't handle it anymore. Like, the reader is very much used to being the therapist/caretaker and is often very happy and doesn't hesitate to help others but silently they think rudely of others, holding their tounge constantly and even mutter under their breath about others being annoying. Ofc they don't want others to see who they truly are, in fear of rejection or their worst fear, isolation. They hate this part of themselves, like why do they have these horrible thoughts about others? It even borders on abstraction.

They can only feel comfortable around their partner and try their best not to vent too much but Caine/Kinger can sense something is wrong and even see their S/O glitching a bit and ask what's wrong and say its ok (in their own special ways!) and the reader just finally cracks, and in their glitching voice is sobbing on how much of a terrible person they are and how they deserve to be in this digital hell for being so horrible.

Im so normal about this. And just so it's not so hard to think of a title, I recommend "Caine and Kinger x reader who pretends!" you don't have to use it but it's there!

Unsavory thoughts (Caine and kinger x reader)!

UEAAA THIS GOT BURIED IM SO SO SO SORRY ANON!! I truly did not mean to take this long to get to your request :(

That said I'm so happy to hear that my silly writing has a positive impact on people.. please remember to drink water and get plenty of rest, remember that there are people that care about you

Hands you a glass of juice

I got silly with Caines piece

CAINE:

KINGER:

Between the two it takes him a little while longer to realize that something is wrong with you. I mean hes still trying to learn all these emotions that make people.. human

Absolutely panics when he sees you glitch out. I'm talking his eyes fly out of his jaws as they hang open panic. Rushes to you to see if you're okay... god forbid youre abstracting... maybe he can help ground you, or something?

Listens to you talk, for once the ringmaster is quiet. Rubs your back

You... have mean thoughts about people...?

Is it not okay to dislike people? Is it not reasonable to be irritable in a new environment? Is it not normal to have at least a few terrible thoughts about others? Are you any less worthy of support or love because you're not a ray of sunshine?

Is this not what being human is about?

Of course he wouldnt say it exactly like that, but he would carry the same message, I think. Is what you're experiencing not a natural part of the human experience?

Yes, you can argue that caine is an AI and he has no place to speak on matters like these, but as your partner he wont let you go without comfort and reassurance

He let's you talk and let it all out. I think going forward he makes it a point to make sure you get time alone, and time with him... makes IHAs more "non intrusive" so you can opt out if you dont want to interact with the others

Very accommodating, I think

Unlike caine he catches on really fast that theres something wrong, something even larger than you're letting on. But still, he let's you do your small but rare vents... until he returns to you after briefly taking some time away from you for one reason or another to find you having a melt down. He thinks you're abstracting, and you probably are. Honestly I can see kinger doing the grounding technique (the 5 sense thing) and he tries to guide you through it to help calm you down enough to pull yourself together just enough to stabilize. Listens to your word vomit as you spill your guts out to him. While I domt think he would be as.. profound as caine... he carries a comfort only sweet old people can possess. And it calms you down. It's not an immediate solution, but its comforting nonetheless. He let's you sleep in his arms. He goes on to stand between you and others to try to keep you from getting too irritated or overwhelmed by the others; however he will stand to the side if you ask him to

Very protective of you but even more so after this

[yyyww4]

YOU HID ME you never saw a futture with me you had no intent of staying with me youlied sabout not leaving me yousaid you woukd never let me go yousaid you werent planning our breakup dont lie dont lieto me domt fucking lie to me i fucking hate liars im sureyou were thinking about ut every single day you lie about eveyrhting to mei know you do im not a fucking idiot imnot stupid i knowit i know it you never tell me anything youkeep sugarcoating youre justlike everyone else everyoine lies to me im a fool for beleiving you im a foolfor thinking that good things could come to me that i deserve it thatits not a fabrication ishoukd have known snd idid everythi i coukdand its never enough and iholf mysekf accuntable i knowhat im responsible for but you cant even recognize what yiure responsibke for in a relaitonsjhip its like imsupposed to take care of everything and nothing is your responsibility and everything is my fault its alweaysmy fault it will forever be my fucking fauklt im always the problem you never put yourslef in anyone elses shoes but yours youre so fucking selifish its unbelievable yet i have and always will put muyself inyour shoes regardless iwill always try and see things dfromyour perspectuive i will always try to understand even ifyou dont tell me fuckinfg anything because you neber fucking did you never told me shit yet its like im supposed to read your fucking mind and i always tryand givre yoiu compassiaon andyet you never do the same for me you refuse to unserstand thinsg from my point of view its alwaysmmy fault im always doing everything wrong i cant do anything righht no matter how hard itry how much effort i oput in its never enoiugh you didnt even regcognize myefforts tdont try to pretentoyu did DONT FUCKING PRETEND dont try and lie and tell me you acknowledge my efforts thatyyou dont take them for granted YES YOU FUCKING DID you have neveer once thought about h9ow fucking hard ive tried to fix things and understand you and notmake the same wrongdoings and work on myself and changes did happen things changed yetyou refused to realize and in the end itsall for shit i ruin myself over snd over again trying to figure thinsg out trying to findout ehat i was doing wrong what coukd iahve done differently and pleas youshould have just fucking communicated with me you feed into your own ideations and want to bask in your discomfort and shame you willingly choose to assumethat id reject you nomatter how many times i reassure you and comofrt you and tryto talk to you and understand you and propose ideas or ask ifyou needed space or whatever you disregard it all whatmore did youwant fromm me what woukd you habve liked me to have done atp its not me thats a you problme IT ISNOT MY RESPONSIBULITY TO KNWO HOWYOU FUCKING FEEL AND I CANNOT CONTROL HOWYOU REACT AND RESPOND imsorry that i cant read your fuckign mind irecogngnize i couldve been more perceptive and proacitbve aboutthings andyour feeligns and emotions and experiences are valid please know ido not dismiss my actions and the negative impact ivehad i am beyond guilty imashamed im disgusted in mysekf i always have been but dont tell me bullshit like "you shoulkdhave asked how i felt" WHNEYOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME YOU CANNOT MAKE THAT MY FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY especually whenyou gave me zero signs of feeling negativly likehow the fuck was i supposed to know whenthe only thing you ever expressed was excitment and fullfiment and encouragement andyou showered me with sweet words LIKE DOYOU WANT ME TO PULL UP OUR MSGS DO YOUWANT ME TO RECITE WORD FOR WORD HOW EACH OF OUR INTERACTIONS IRL WENT HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IMSORRYU OKAY IM SORRY FOR BELEIVING YOU IMSORRY I SHOUJKLD HAVE KNOWN IM SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A FUCKING FOOL IOMSRORY IM SORRY FOR LOVINGYOU IMS ORRYR FOR EVEYRTHING IRREALLYT AM and pelase dont say that my love was conditional my love foryou was never conditonal i dint fucking understand how you felt that my love was conditional i will always loveyou regardless even if youdont love me evenif you hate me even if you ignore me eve

[alex-supremacy4]

ugh vent

"you'll thank me later" NO I FUCKINV WONT. i seriously WONT. I HAD TO DELETE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING APP BECAUSE OF YOU BEING SO OVERPROTECTIVE THAT YOU WOULDNT EVEN LET ME GO ON MY OWN GMAIL?? AND YOU THINK ILL THANK YOU AFTER HAVING TO GO THROUGH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE? YOU THINK I DON'T HEAR YOU IN YOUR ROOM, CRYING TO YOUR THERAPIST ABOUT HOW SHITTY I AM, WHILE COMPARING ME TO MY BROTHER?? YOU USE HIS DISORDER/MENTAL ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE TO SHOW HOW MUCH MORE BETTER HE IS THAN ME. i fucking hate this apartment and family and i hate to say it but even my own cousins family is so much more better than this. even my least favorite teachers combined are better than this. some of you will say "shes just trying to help." BUT DOMT YPU FUCKING SEE?? SHES BEEN NEGLECTING ME FOR YEARS AND MY OLDER SISTWR AND BROTHER HAD TO TAKE CARE OF ME THIS WHOLE TIME. AND YET SHE EXPEXTS ME TO DO EVERYTHING. IM SICK AND TIRED AND EXHAUSTED AND OH MY FUCKIJG GOH I AM SO ANGRY. I WAS CRYING EVERY TIME BECAUSE OF OYU "remember what you used to do.." THATS BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING THREATENED YOU DUMBASS. YOURE BLAMING IT ON ME LIKE I INTENDED TO DO THAT, I WASNT THREATENED AND I KNEW WHAY IT MEANT. MY OLDER SISTER HAD TO TALK YOU INTO BELIEVING ME. YOU CHOSE HIM OVER ME?? I WAS YOUR FUCKINH CHILD AND YOU BELIEVED SOME RANDOM GUY?? FUCK YOU. YOURE THE REAOSN I GO ONLINE EVERYDAY JUST TO SEE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME. YOURE THE REASON I SAY THINGS IM NOT SUPPOSED TO. YOURE THE REASON WHY IM BAWLING MY EEYS OUT EVERYDAY. YOURE IN SO MANY VRNT POSTD OF MINE IN MY DRAFTD. SPECIFICALLY 41. YOU DIDNT EVEN CARE ABOUT ME. fuck you im leaving this apartment when i can

[doofus-and-dragons]

Just finished TMA s3 so you know what time it is!

Spoiler time...it's spoiler time (this also bleeds into parts of s4

S3:

Elias can eat a dick. Kudos to Ben for giving him one of the top 10 sexyist voices in TMA, but DAMNIT, HE'S THE WORST 😭

The distortion is struggling to figure out who it is.

Like it or not, you're Helen now buddy (I love you dearly you murderous entity)

I don't like Julia or Trevor

Also, why does every character who gets hurt make strange noises that can be taken out of context (not a complaint, just an observation) (except for that American cop fucker. That guy made me vastly(HA) uncomfortable XD)

I've notice that Jon whimpers when he gets hurt. Poor pathetic wet cat

NO TIM

TIIIIM

I KNOW I WAS HARD ON YOU DURING THE LAST SEASON IM SORRY COME BACK

I'm going to riot

Martin deserved to go apeshit like that

He really did

The desolation in the background: Hey, guys, can I have him?

The Eye: NO FUCK OFF HE'S MINE

FUCK YEAH ELIAS IS GETTING ARRESTED

A good ending to a good season

Oh shit Jon's In a coma

S4:

Ok, first off: the trailer did not have to hit me in the emotions quite that hard

I almost cried at my machine

I think Oliver is a pretty sweet guy so far. He even left when he could see how uncomfortable he was making Georgie

THE FIRST MEETING BETWEEN MARTIN AND JOHN AFTER HIS COMA MADE ME TEAR UP

I think Jon is realizing that he's losing his Martin. You can always hear the pain in his voice when he talks about/to him

THE SECOND INTERACTION

I HAD TO PAUSE IT SO I DIDNT BUST OUT CRYING INFRONT OF MY ASSHOLE BOSS

Anyway

I don't like Melanie.

I haven't since she was introduced in s1.

Like, I've just never cared for her. I get why she's acting the way she is, I understand it. But she's just not a character I've ever enjoyed (kudos to you if you do tho)

Basira... I have no strong opinions of her

Like I domt dislike her

But I'm not a Basira Stan either.

I think she just misses her gf or smth

Breekin and Hope were married

You can't tell me that statement wasn't someone mourning the loss of their immortal life partner

I won't believe you.

JON USE MARTIN AS YOUR ANCHOR ITS THE BEST PLAN

Anyway that's as far as I've gotten.

[diazpatcher]

a little Vent, TW mentions of drugs, alcohol and Selfharm

I don't want to tell him that I thonk it was a mistake cause we've been.thinkinf.about this for 3 weeks now and talking about everything and it would jjst feel like i took my time breaking his heart which I didn't mean to I just really wanted to be sure but now I feel like a total ass and like I ruined any chance at being friends anymore and I just really wanna get shitfaced drunk or high couldn't give less shots as long as i dont actually have to feel these things anymore it's like, how hard can.it be to know if ur im love w someone

maybe it's cause I haven't been in love for a while but that's not it either i had feelings for someone and it ended the same way, we talked it through and didn't do shit and it changed us and i don't want that to happen again maybe i should've told him from the get go, no i don't but I thought I had feelings for him but I don't. and I feel so horrible now. because he cares so sos so much about me and for me and it just feels like I'm betraying him and our honesty we have built but if i tell him he'll be hearybrkone and I kept telling.him it's not gonna be easy and that i am Sick and that my illness will get in the way and maybe this is just my depression and the secual traumas but i don't I can't be in a relationship i need to heal the one w myself first and idk how to tell him thag and i also feel lime i can't talk to anyone about it w /o sounds ridiculous bc what kind of immature do you have to be to now know if u lime someone or love them and i jhst feel so horrible and i really wanna relapse bc last tome I didn't car Re what happened to me while i was actively hurting myself and I was w alex back then and I had no issues w anything but mow it just feels like being touched alone is a fucking violation of me but i love being touched i love hugs and holding hands and being close but ever since that happened (he confessed to me) everytiem he touches me it just feels like I'm betraying him and myself and i know i should just tell hom because we are that honest w each other but at the same time I don't ecen know if i have feelings for him and if i can't tell how tf am i usspoes to let him know what's going on and he said he'd be willing to wait but that's unfair so i told him that we xan give it a try but it feels wrong like I committed a mortal sin or smt just because I don't know and he shouldn't waste time on me not because I'm.not great but because I can't give him wgat he wants and I hate that so much i should be able to know but i don't and it makes me feel like shit and he can tell and is concerned and I think i already am dependent on him and I don't want my emotions to be attached or dependent on someone else and i hate myself for always doing it and I ruin every relationship or friendship w it because part of me wants people to take care of me and the other part is ashamed for wanting that and i also don't know who I am anymore and it just feels meaningless everything i do I started smoking and drinking more often but nit in a alcoholic way and It just makes me feel less and empty and the only reason i started smoking was because i wanted to be close to a boy and I can't even cry anymore because i feel I don't have a reason to cry and I just want to hurt myself and bleed but that's not me anymore im clean for like 530 days ors smt and it feels like if I relapse now, I won't be able yo stop again and I domt want to be burden on other people just because i have issues w myself and its unfair but I don't know how to fix it.

[blueslight]

👎

[pizzapizzadickz]

...

...

[imeverywoman420]

how to deal if im a woman that likes to pick men and like chase,and hates being chased? i have that masculine quality and everyone is weirded out i mean men

Girl. if i knew i wouldnt be in this mess. Im hannibal the cannibal with men on some level i love that chase i love when its like. The man im with is my will graham for the night. But like. I DO want to be chased sometimes. i dont have any advice but i do have examples of normje women being obtuse lol

me and my former pisces friend who is very mentally feminine has tried to explain why i shluldnt like to chase men because um something something self love somethingosmethign idk self respect shieoswoweijr make hijm wait for sex . You know pickme women are always talking about everything besides the fun stuff. They talk about boys like ur buying a used car 😭 its all business with them They dont understand what its like when the primal hunter instincts kick in and you realize youre going to have sex its SOOO fun like.

but anywsys she CANNOT understand why i “give it up” so early. miss girl i have raw sexual nymphomaniac lars von trier lilith energy immlike hannibal lecter but a girl i am NOT the kind of girl that guys ask on dates. not in a self seprecating way i mean it as like. A matter of fact.

i tried to explain to her that i dont know what the hell shes talking about she Wwss like “you have to have an emotional connection before sex!” Andnits like bitch OBVIOUSLY in a perfect world i would want that but we dont live in a perfect world do we.

omg she wass so annoying abt that shit she wojld just. Endlessly criticize me and be like “i domt understand how you can just share your body like that” or whatever , and id be like well mrs girl what would you do in this situation. And she CANNOT imagine a world where she isnt the one being putsued.

[miioouu]

Heya! I'd like a matchup please! My names Kanna, I'm a female and im bisexual. My star sign is virgo. My talents/hobbies are drawing, animating, watching anime and playing video games. I like to observe the world going on around me while listening to music a lot. I think i have a little add but its not confirmed. Im also short tempered but since i dont interact with people a lot its pretty hidden. Im pretty disorganized too. I dont like to study. I like baking a lot but i dont like cooking.(1/2)

As for my physical appearance im 165cm and i have medium length blonde hair. My eyes are brown and im pretty underweight. Forgot to add my favorite quote which is " Skedaddle skudoddle now your d*ck is a noodle" (please domt judge me) but idk where its from and i think this is it! Good luck and congratulations on 2k!! (2/2) (bnha matchup)

If you really thought I wasn't going to judge you based on that quote you're wrong. I love you. Thank you for requesting!! ❤️💜❤️

     You didn't like hanging out with people that much. But something about this particular group of friends has intrigued you. Though they're all so so loud, so bubbly and just the centre of attention all the time, it's hard to get to know them as more that the class's clowns. But someone has realized, payed attention to your lingering eyes, to you bright smile whenever you look at them. Your shy red cheeks whenever someone catches you staring, the wishful thinking. He knows you want to be a part of the team, but he also wants to be the only one hanging out with you. He wants to be the only one who experience your laughs, your smiles. The only one who knows what you're like deep down. He wants you to be his friend, actually much more than that. But Bakugo Katsuki knows, you need to be part of the group to finally be his.

Compatible:

- You're so sweet compared to him.

-So reserved and always away from attention, people wonder how you got together.

-The thing is, you have a lot in common. He enjoys your calmer company compared to the rest of his friends. He likes that you can also have fun and be loud.

-He knows you hate studying, you have a difficult time focusing but he's always trying his best to help you. He just has that thing that always makes him so interesting, so captivating, you can't help but pay attention to whatever he's talking about.

-He loves to bake with you. It's a way for the both of you to get closer and have some fun and stay away from the rest of the group.

Difficulties:

-You're both short tempered and it gets difficult sometimes.

-He's quick to lose control over his emotions, thus making you feel more enraged, especially when he's putting the blame on you.

-He's a very organized person and can't deal with chaos.

-He's always nagging you to get yourself together, to grow up. He doesn't know how much it actually hurts.

-He's also the jealous type and like to have control over every little detail. He knows he doesn't have the right to do so, but he's not gonna stop.

Others:

-Uraraka

-Todoroki

-Kaminari

-Hagukare

-Toga

[simplefreak23]

Me: I love you

Him: I love you too         1:57 AM Me: Im so sorry I went to bed and didnt say good night I miss you soo much and honestly hate not seeing you baby. I just want you ight now. To hold you and kiss you and love you.

Him: I love you too and want that too You can sleep if you want

Me: I know I have such a busy day tomorrow but I need five minutes more so I can talk with you. It seems like we hardly get to talk anymore baby and that hurts me. I know its not your fault or mine but it still hurts not seeing you for soo long

Him: I know

Me: Wyd

Him: Being tired

Me: Get some sleep babe

Him: You should too

Me: I have something important to tell you

Him: What is it

Me: Ive been feeling very depressed lately and its been very hard for me to handle on my own Soo sometimes when you aent avalible like when you come home beat or you have to do extra stuff once you get home, I talk to my friend Marcus about it. He really understands what Im going through. I feel like we arent as close as we usually are here lately and its becoming a little bit of a problem. I feel like we have more sex then conversation. We need to talk more baby. At first everthing was amazing and the sex was perfect but I feel like we need to not have sex evey time I come to visit We really need to talk about stuff and not just how much we want to have sex all the time. This is not me breaking up with you baby, I love you and dont want to do that I just want you to know the truth and how I feel.

Him: If you feel like he can do better i wont stop you We have grown apart more and i dont think i can really take care of you as well as i could before

Me: No baby thats not what I mean at all. I dont need you to take care of me like you usually do I just need us to talk more

Him: Look we've grown apart and i feel like im holding you back anyway

Me: You arent baby I promise you if you were I would have said so          

Him: Still i dont see how i can do it

Me: Do what baby

Him: Keep this relationship up The fire just isnt there anymore

Me: You cant mean that we just havent seen eachother in a while thats all. I just need to see you

Him: I domt think so

Me: Please dont do this to me

Him: It changes nothing Ill still be here Help and everything

Me: This cant be happening right now

Him: I hate it as much as you

Me: Have you found someone?

Him: No

Me: Okay

Him: Its just that the way i love tou shifted

Me: Why

Him: If i knew i would change it All i wanted to do is help you become a better person and by god you have

Me: That was your goal making me feel love and making me want to spend the rest of my life with you to change me for the better

Him: No I just wanted you to see that there isn't just bad in the world

Me: Well this isnt helping right now. I feel like puking

Him: I just dont see the point in leading you on Would you rather i went on pretending Im sorry but this is for the best for you

Me: Just say it so I can stop feeling the way I do I hurt so bad right now

Him: Fine I think we should break up Im still goimg to be here and help in any way after this Dont think im abandoning you

Me: Now I feel 10 times worse and that didnt make it any better. What am I going to tell me parents 😥 their daughter fucked a guy at 14 and then got broke up with after almost a year not to mention the fact that she might be pregnant come to find out that ger recent peiod wasnt actually a period and she hasnt been on one since the beginning of January and is now pobably going to get slut shamed at school

Him: You arent a slut and you know it

Me: They dont

Him: Who cares what they think

Me: I kinda do

Him: Then prove them wrong Youre a good person and i know youll be fine

Me: I hope

Him: I know you will Youve gone through worse and came out on top I believe in you

Me: Im sorry I really need to go

Him: I understand

Me: I have to find a way to tell my parents about this

Him: Good luck is all i can say

Me: Can I say it one last time. Please Just let me say it I promise I wont ever say it again

Him: You can

Me: I love you   And I mean it Bye  I guess we are ending just as we stated really super late, tired, and with so many emotions its unreal at least for me that is

Him: I know

[ebonysimagines]

how are you doing today? can i request a matchup pls with bnha and haikyuu? im can play the cello and the flute, however i love writing poetry and photography most of all. i like makeup and shopping and playing videogames too. i get really shy and anxious around other people so i dont talk much and im so very introverted. i do really appreciate and value my friends and i love to spoil them. im rather smart and hardworking but i often work myself to the bone and i become so unmotivated. pt 1

Here’s the second part of the ask:“pt 2 im also really friendly and dont have a mean bone in my body. im bad at showing any bad emotions though because i hate having people care for me because it makes me feel worse lol im vegan, i love animals more than anything in the entire world and have lots of pets. i domt go outside much but i can really appreciate nature. sometimes i like to sit outside with a cup of tea and blanket and just enjoy how beautiful the earth is. thats pretty much it. thank you so much for your time!”

I’m doing just peachy, hun. Thank you for asking. I just want to say that anything by Alec Benjamin is such a bop. I hope you find your matchups satisfying.

                                  - Admin Ebony

BNHA: Todoroki Shouto is your man. He’s just as quiet and hardworking as you are, both things he respects. He really likes how adept you are with music, like bust out that cello and lay down some Holst and you have him wrapped around your finger. He wants to be there to help you out of your shell, even if he is super awkward. Take him shopping and not only will he not only carry all your bags, he’ll pay for literally everything. He’s not the only one who likes to spoil those close to them. 

Haikyuu: Asahi Azumane really butters your biscuit. He’s just sweet soft and cuddly bear boy you’re looking for. Please, let him care for you. He gets nervous about it too, but you two just want to support each other so much. Let this boy make you kale salads and soybean patties, cause I bet you he can cook like a champ. He likes to sit outside on your porch and just bathe in the light. He likes small dogs so I mean if you’re cool with that then you two are set for life.

[antiheaven]

My SO told me they have a like fantasy of having a thr3esome someday and I'm reallly hurt by that.. but I domt know if I'm taking it personal or taking it the wrong way and I dont know how I should react to them saying that .. but I feel hurt

oh boo boo i understand how that can be taken personally & hurt in your chest like your heart beating too hard over & over... please PLEASE kno that there is absolutely n e v e r a right or wrong way to feel about ..anything, ever. your feelings are important!! & are valid & you dont need to think that you “should” experience any certain emotion over this. a lot of people feel this way when learning their partners have threesome kinks & you aren’t weird or wrong for feeling that way too. do you know why it hurts?? i know that sounds kind of weird but there can be many reasons behind that,, kind of locating the source of the pain can make it easier to talk to your partner about..which is what i suggest to do.. im sprry youre going through this, peach. trying to get a grasp on the fragility & gray areas that surround such subjects in relationships is no easy task. but your self awareness is a strength among many others, im sure. 

[buggrl]

Reality

This is probably going to be depressing, so if your not in the mood for that, scroll away. I just have some thoughts i need to get off my chest and idk how to talk to real life people well.

Honestly, idk exactly how to start this. Theres been so much going on lately that i cant handle it. Its to the point that i wish i could get in a bad wreck and be stuck in the hospital not able to do anything. No work, no customers, hopefully no drama or stress. I actually want to hurt myself. Not for the death or satisfaction but just so im forced to be away feom all this.

I am a store manager. I say this, but i dont believe it. I am a donkey. Here to break my back so that my store owners dont have to. I do the schedule. All the ordering. All the running around. All the bank work. All the customer interactions. All of it. I work doubles and doubles in rows. I dont actually have a day off. Im always doing something for the store or worrying about the next day at the store. Im the one who gets harassed when a customer is unhappy. And all i get is "Thank you."

Normally, when i get thanked, im ecstatic! I got praised! I did something good! But when i see that text message of a long request and then just "Thank you. Your the best!" I just shutter. The tears well up and i just have to try to calm down. But its fine to over work me, right? I dont have kids. My family is in good health. There is nothing of "real" importance to me. I have a boyfriend of 7 years. Seeing him apprentally doesnt matter, esp since hes deploying soon.i have a best friend who goes through shit, but cant help her out ever, im at fucking work. My dog, who has anxiety and destroys the house if im not home, only ever gets to sleep with me.

And what about me? Im bipolar with anxiety issues on a constant. Im mean and nasty to myself and just want others happy. I will take any request as long as it will make you smile or help unload your burden. I dont want to help some of the time. But i hate to see people struggle. I get off my meds constantly since im working too hard to remember to take them. I dont sleep and if i do, its lightly, in the off chance my store calls. I can only sleep deep with sleeping meds. I cannot show emotion besides happiness because no one knows how to handle any other emotion. I get shot down and told to stop if i get angry. Everyone freezes and just kinda backs away from me when i crying. So i just bottle it all. Everything is bottled. I cry, but never all of it. It always transfers to the next day.

My family isnt much better lately. My mother and my father are constantly fighting. She wants to leave, he doesnt want her to but he cant get over the fact she cheated on him. She doesnt want to leave because shes never been independent, but tells me continuously that shes going to. All i ever hear is my mom side of this. And her back tracking after telling me how awful of a fight they had and how bad my dad was to say that hes not a bad man and that she wronged him. I have no idea what my dad is going through and i know he won't tell me. He will just hide it from me, say i have my owm things to worry anout and drop the subject. But god i want to know. I want to comfort my dad. I want to be there for him. How can i tell him i wont go anywhere if they divorce? I won't just abandon him like my brother might, just because mom isnt there. God, im tearing up at just thinking this.

To top all of this off, my boyfriend is leaving. For a year. So for a year, i will be with just my best friend and my dog. I will not have the support i always lean on, and that terrifies me. Yea, i have my bestie, and by god, she is fucking heaven sent. I love this woman to death and would do anything for her but i hide alot from her, as she does me. Its a security thing we both have a tendacy of doing. I cant do that with my boyfriend. It always comes out. And i wont have him here to help me.

The other thing is, he wants me to decide whether i stay here when hes gone or move to our new base by myself. And honestly. I dont know. I want out of this place so bad. This place is such a hell hole. People come to party or die here. There is no in between. But i have people here that i love and care for me. I have shoulders to cry on and places to crash if ever needed. Where we can be going is somewhere new. Somewhere i have never been before. Somewhere to start over. But its only his family there. I dont know anyone. And i domt know his family well enough to be comfortable around them. So i just dont know.

With all of this, i just want to disappear. I domt want to be here anymore. I dont want to die but i dont want to be here, if that makes sense. Idk. It probably doesnt.