#im DEAD OKAY
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
shortnailsforfuntimes · 5 days ago
Text
you wanted the tips
i gave you the tips
just the tip
29 notes · View notes
wojtekaneko · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
That's how it went
5K notes · View notes
catmask · 1 year ago
Text
does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.
27K notes · View notes
soyalexnajera · 2 years ago
Text
THE AUDACITY OF THEM TO SAY THIS, FUCK NETFLIX FR
Tumblr media Tumblr media
70K notes · View notes
isabellaofparma · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#the cat king would've liked niko because she was the only one to show him an ounce of respect
4K notes · View notes
ikiprian · 9 months ago
Text
Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)
Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.
He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)
Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.
(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)
So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!
Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.
With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.
Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!
It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.
6K notes · View notes
somnoir · 12 days ago
Text
Gotham's newest Crime Lord - Part 1
Prompt: Dan kills the joker and unintentionally becomes a crime lord
Dan didn't mean to become a Crime Lord. It wasn't his fault that the Joker was fragile and easily killable with one punch to the head. He didn't know that the seemingly immortal clown was easily killed once the impact practically snapped his neck. So yes, Dan didn't mean for this shit to happen. Not when all he wanted to do was go to college, make sure Danny and Elle weren't attracting trouble back in Gotham academy.
It wasn't his fault that the crazy bastard thought it was a good idea to nab his siblings and try to use them for ransom. It's not his fault that his first instinct was to introduce his first to that pennywise knock-off. It'd not his fault that this city was haunted by vengeful ghosts that wanted to tear that motherfucker to shreds.
They were supposed to lay low after the mess with their parents and their name changes.
But nooooo!
They had to have an absolute hatred for clowns and now he's somehow made himself a crime lord. Why the fuck were the Joker's goons so fucking stupid?! They either tried to kill Dan for killing their boss or they tried to fall under him and make him their new leader. It was like a fucking cult in his eyes. Seriously, what the absolute fuck was going on with this shitty city?
It's not like he could call Jazz and say "Hi sis! I killed a crazy clown and I'm now the boss of his weird goons. I also might end up on the local vigilante's hitlist."
Yeah, no. He's not doing that.
But this might not be so bad... Not really. Being their boss could be treated as a source of income if he utilized the Joker's shit properly. I mean, he couldn't always rely on the fruitloops money, not when Vlad could turn traitor and use the money against them. He needed to find a way to support his siblings, one way or another.
And Clockwork did say to get a hobby. If not mass genocide then he could resort to carefully planned crime. Yes. This could work. He'll make it fucking work for the sake of his siblings.
Besides, if he was a crime lord—in motherfucking Gotham—he doubts that the GIW will even try to fuck around in a city where a ghost controlled some part of the criminal underworld.
Oh... Oh, he was gonna fucking do this.
Tumblr media
(Clockwork watched as his most troublesome child shifts from world ender to crime lord. At least it was an upgrade from mass genocide.)
Nightwing didn't particularly know what to make of this mess. There were rumors of a new crime lord, of a new rogue.
One day, Joker's body was dropped into the harbor and found by the workers, all confused and scared as to why the Clown Prince of crime was dead in the water. It was humiliating in the Joker's standards, to be discarded like trash into the sea rather than have his body displayed for everyone to gawk at. The clown would have adored being glorified but whoever the hell killed him knew this and fucked the guy up bad.
His head snapped and his corpse tossed out like leftovers.
Jason had laughed, outright celebrated and Crime Alley was as festive as it ever was with the Red Hood blasting music through the streets and partying like there was no tomorrow. All of Gotham was celebrating, parading through the streets with pinatas that looked like the Joker. Harley would drop down from whatever roof she was on and swing her bat at the pinata, spilling red candy as everyone cheered and laughed. It was morbidly glorious.
But the festivities didn't erase the fact that someone had killed the Joker and knew what to do to disrespect him in the worst ways possible. It wasn't long until Joker's old lackeys were rallying to someone—a new boss. It wasn't odd for goons without bosses to move on to find different jobs, but for all of Joker's old minions to work for the same person? This was definitely the guy who killed the Joker.
No name, no appearance, nothing. Just quiet activity with organising his new goons to do strange errands. Stuff that didn't point them in the direction of criminal activity.
"You got anything?" Dick murmurs as Tim slouches over the batcomputer, watching as his younger brother sneered at the screen.
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." He snaps, "All footage of this new rogue is immediately corrupted."
Babs hums, "And it's not like it's altered after it's been taken. The distortion happens live. They either have some tech on them or they're a meta who can avoid cameras." She adds, taking a leisure sip of the tea Alfred kindly offered them. "Whoever this is doesn't leave a trace aside from this shitty footage."
Tim groans, "I officially hate this guy!" He almost tosses his mug out of anger, shaking his head.
"Does Jason have any info on this one?"
And like the fucking menace he was, Jason pops up without another word. "He goes by Wraith." No one was startled, just sparing him a glance before nodding.
"That's it?"
"The goonions adore him." Jason shrugs, "Guy's been quick. Dealing with shit like Black Mask and other trafficking operations. Some of the kids he's saved wear clothes that have this specific symbol on them. It's a good tactic mind you. Tells people to fuck off and don't come anywhere near the kid or else he'll sic whatever bullshit he has in someone."
Dick narrowed his eyes, "Is it effective?"
"Hell yeah! One of the kids got kidnapped just last week. I went to save the poor thing but he walked out of that warehouse while the kidnappers were bleeding and sobbing." Jason once again grins, "Little Tommy threatened me if I try to arrest Wraith."
"So more anti-heri than villain. Good enough, at least." Dick sighed, shaking his head as he narrowed his eyes on the screen. More distorted footage.
"Thanks for the info, little wing."
"Just updatin' you guys. Heard some rumors that Harley's on the hunt for Wraith to thank him."
Great...
Tumblr media
It's been a solid two months since the death of the Joker. Batman and the rest of his birds were increasingly wary of the Wraith and his two new associates that went by Phantom and Specter. No footage on the three could ever be recovered, making them all assume this was the work of a meta.
Most of them weren't sure if this guy was a threat or not. Red Hood, on the other hand, had a fairly positive opinion on the guy who's been hanging traffickers by their legs and immediately staking their claim on the kid to keep them safe.
The new crime lord was slowly dismantling the criminal underworld and building it back up to their design.
"FUCKING HELL!" Dick glared at the screen again, "That's Wraith's doing, isn't it? No way did the Riddler blow up that building."
"Wraith's only been dealing with traffickers so far. Why would he do this?" Steph murmurs, staring at the recording of a building that had suddenly went off. Numerous were dead, some barely survived.
"That's the motherfucker's symbol." Dick pointed to the glowing green symbol that looked liked a fire with some obscure letter they couldn't really make out. (Was it a D or a P?)
"Okay... Why would Wraith blow up a building and kill everyone?" Jason immediately asked, seeming to be defensive of the man. "He doesn't just kill people, Dick."
"Even so..." Bruce grunts, clearly displeased with the bloodshed. All that death...
"We're going after him." Bruce announced, "I'm not putting of the Wraith investigation anymore."
Tumblr media
Dan stared at the pictures of the bodies, pudding out smoke without a cigarette in sight. His new minions—they preferred the term goons—were clearly apprehensive and continued to observe their new boss's expressions. This explosion had been his first act of pure and utter violence, a massacre of sorts.
He glances at Danny who melted out of the shadows, startling his goons.
"Can't say I'm not upset but I get why you did that shit." He begrudgingly admits, sitting across Dan. Phantom was a reluctant associate to his new organization of crime—ish.
"They weren't just trafficking kids, squirt. Pimping them, killing them and selling their organs, hosting matches and making meta kids fight to the fucking death." Dan clicked his tongue, "No redemption in that, Phantom."
"I get it, alright!" Danny snapped, "But the you've gotten the direct attention of the Bats now. They're gonna come for us, Wraith."
"Boss?" One of the goons—Dan remembers him as Jeremy Nelson. One guy just trying to support himself and his kid, trying to keep his sweet little daughter in school with as much money as he could get. Dan remembers giving the man a raise and a jacket with their family's symbol stitched into it—one for little Marigold.
"I'll deal with it. For now, you guys spread the word on that shit. I don't want anyone thinking I killed a bunch of kids." Dan growled, "My reputation can burn for all care, but like hell am I letting people think I hurt kids."
With Jeremy leading the other goons, he nodded and hurried out of the office to spread a word. The former Joker goons had taken a liking to their new boss, preferring his ways rather than their dead one.
"Jazz won't like this, y'know." Danny sighs, "I'm not gonna tell her. Never. But she'll find out, one way or another."
Dan frowns, "You think I don't know? It's Jazz, Danny."
"Yeah, yeah. I just didn't expect you to be like this. Crime Lord and everything."
Dan snorts, "I was the world ender, brat. This is mild compared to what I've done."
"Yeah, sure."
He shook his head, "You've got your own problems, brat. The Observants are still fussin' about you being king, your majesty."
An identical scowl looks back at Dan, and he's reminded that this kid is him. An alternate version of himself and yet they were brothers now. "I know. You killing the Joker fucked some stuff up. Apparently, the motherfucker was cursed to hell."
"Meaning?"
"He's got a lifetime of people in his shadow. Vengefu souls that want him dead." Danny huffs, "Had to deal with the paperwork cause everyone's wantin' a taste of him. I'm workin' on letting Walker release him so his victims can execute his soul."
"Cruel, little king."
"I'll give you his file. Bastard deserves to have his soul destroyed." Danny viciously grins. And once again, best reminded that this twerp is him. They were one and the same, different as well.
"Alright, alright. Fuck off now. We've still got some bats and birds to deal with." Dan immediately showed him away, noting Danny's eye roll.
"Better prepare a birdcage then."
Part 2 | Masterlist
2K notes · View notes
ecstarry · 4 months ago
Text
reg who had his first kiss at fifteen with a boy while on a summer holiday and all he has left is a little seashell the other boy gave him. and james whose heart stops everytime he sees a someone even slightly reseembling that boy until ten years later they meet once again at the same beach they did all those years ago. reg tells him he still has the seashall and james reaches for reg's curl and tucks it behind his ear just as he did when they were teens
1K notes · View notes
sixbynine-da · 2 months ago
Text
What I love about the infamous puppy debacle of 94 is the implication that within five years of immediately partnering up, living together and starting the agency Charles (bc ofc it was Charles) was like 'we should start a family'
919 notes · View notes
andr0nap · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pirate au stuff i never did anything with but i still really like the designs
2K notes · View notes
stellaclaw · 8 months ago
Text
boiling hot take but i literally dont give a fuck that mapleshade let the clan believe her kits were birchfaces. her clanmates can be mad but exiling a queen and her kits is fucking deranged i dont care what lie she told. “she deserved what she got” her kids deserved to die because their mom fibbed??😭 her kids deserved to die because their mom did crimes LATER???😭😭 “um but she chose to cross the river” if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around.
3K notes · View notes
tramweye · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
experimented with my artstyle a bit to make my digital look closer to my traditional art, ft. my beloved sadie....
im still unsure how to truly capture her likeness but eh i'll get there
828 notes · View notes
densewentz · 7 months ago
Text
hey if you guys go back to the scene where the Cat King puts the truth compulsion on Edwin and, after removing it, asks him "now, doesn't the truth feel better?" if you watch carefully you can see Edwin give a tiny shocked and vulnerable little nod right before the Cat King nods back and you TOO can start screaming and crying inconsolably like I am
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
ghost-bxrd · 1 month ago
Text
I am SO normal about Jason Todd and all the little ways his ptsd is depicted in both canon and fanon. Totally. not
779 notes · View notes
methoughtsphantom · 6 months ago
Text
Danny fake guardian angel au
You know how sometimes it’s highlighted how you have to be very careful on what you say in the presence of a spirit because they can twist your words and end up bidding yourself to it?? well uno-reverse-card the spirit also has to be careful on what he says because when Danny had said he owed the dude one for coming to his rescue in a gala Vlad had dragged him to, he didn’t expect that to be taken literally.
danny: wait seriously?? i literally say that all the time!
cw: not after being crowned ghost king, you haven’t
danny: but—but I was also human when I said it. doesn’t that protect me or smth
cw: *shakes his head*
danny:
danny: omg this is a nightmare
cue timmy’s brucequest period (cuz he’s the guy) being so high strung and tired, he just wants some company, which is a so low stakes thing to want the deal Danny unintentionally goes sure we can do that and pulls him towards the guy, despite Timmy never outright saying he wants company. (tim always speaks in the sanctity of his own mind, not out loud)
So. random spirit manifesting. Tim going all who the fuck are u
and Danny panicking and saying your guardian angel
Tim not being impressed while Danny promptly blushes like a moron because that did not come off as he wanted it to.
Yes accidental dead tired where the dynamic goes from Tim trying to shake this probably demon that somehow latched to him being all like ??? dude leave me alone, and Danny being there like bitch i’m trying
to
huh. im actually being protected by a spirit like he said he would. he’s strangely an idiot but also he’s overpowered and just never leaves my side which he says it’s an angel obligation but I think it’s bullshit but also hoping it’s not because it appeals to my crippling fear of abandonment (anyways he really seems to take after those little cartoon angels that poof into your shoulder to keep from me doing wrong decisions) translate into my future boyfriend seems increasingly appalled to what i am up to
meanwhile danny
Bitch you better thank your god I’m dead because otherwise I would already been killed. I did not sign up for a assassins what the fuck I thought you were a normal civilian not a literal superhero and omg that is a fruitloop. no no back off you wrinkly raisin this is my emotional support idiot you can’t have him and what do you mean you’re messing with time whatever this way I can get back to clockwork—
1K notes · View notes
demoniccak-e · 3 months ago
Text
been thinking about the first time that charles would be an orb...
i feel like it's something that would happen so easily, like literally a week or two after edwin and charles meet. and when it does charles freaks out, because maybe he was alone but he literally became a ball of light and he was like "oh no oh no oh no something is wrong' but it felt right and he gets it in his head that he's being dragged to heaven by an angel or something or maybe that little annoying ghoul decided to hire a witch-hit-man and he was going to literally combust
anyways, it gets into his head that this is very very wrong™ but he best not worry edwin because this is also two weeks after they met, and charles is the kind of person who doesn't want to be a "burden" ("ridiculous thought," edwin says surely, "you are a mystery to behold, charles rowland." and charles knew, if edwin payne told you that you were a mystery? it wasn't long before you were unraveled. after years of hiding, charles wouldn't mind to be solved.) so he hides it.
then once they complete one of their first cases, charles gets really drowsy all of a sudden and then the light thing happens in front of edwin. and he's panicking but he awaits edwin's reaction. edwin looks at him and touches the ball of light carefully, and then he swoops him up and holds him. charles feels himself getting warmer, and edwin chuckles at the way that he gets brighter.
after a while of being calm in edwins arms, after relaxing over the idea that there is no reason to panic, he ends up doing little circles around his head and nuzzles against his hair and his arm and he rolls around his desk and he doe-
whatever you get it.
493 notes · View notes