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yoongsisbae · 1 year ago

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ahh I love this I love you 😭 and I love ghostie jin, he’s such a vibe with his noodle arms 😭😭

The Flower Bridge | KSJ

You couldn’t, you didn’t want to, not anymore, the pain was too much, you wanted it to end, so you visited the bridge. Standing at the highest point, the wind stung, but your problems were bigger, your pain was stronger than the whipping wind and your anguish deeper than the water below. Tethered in the center, connecting the place you came from and the place you were going, you found another type of bridge and he found you.

Ghost!Seokjin x reader

I promise you it’s a happy ending :')....

Warnings: 18+ dark themes, attempted suicide, unaliving talk, mention of SA & DV, trauma, PTSD, grief/loss, violence, blood, a few creepy ghosty moments, mention of abortion, ANGSTTTT, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 10.8k

---

“Don’t do it.”

“Mind your business,” you mutter, looking down at your feet as your toes balance upon the railing.

Where did he come from? At this hour?

You turn your head to yell at him to go away, except no one is there. Just darkness, the yellow shine of street lamps, and you, pitiful and alone, bloodshot eyes and saliva pooling in your mouth, your nose runny from all the crying.

You blink, are you imagining things now? Is your subconscious reaching out to you, your mind trying to save you from yourself?

No one is there like always.

You are totally alone.

You swallow down your sadness, now focusing on the water below, your face numb, body numb.

And so tired of it all.

You breathe out a sigh of...not relief, no…but a forlorn sough wretched from deep inside of you, a recognition that, well, this was it.

The end.

“Wait!” The man holds up his hands, suddenly by your side again.

You jump.

Not off the bridge. If only it had been so easy.

You jump up, spooked.

His reappearance startled you so much you almost lost your footing, clumsily grabbing onto the bridge’s stone to resteady yourself, your heart racing from fright.

“I can’t…leave you alone now. Please…” He looks worriedly around, “...reconsider?” You brace yourself against the bridge’s railing. “It can’t be that bad, trust me.”

Not so bad huh?

You were so tired. You were tired of the proding, the poking, the judgements, the way you were blamed for what was done to you. You tried to be strong, but there was no more strength left inside of you.

It is that bad.

Unyielding tears start resurfacing once more. “Walk away, please.” The words leave your lips in a shaky plea. You can’t even look at him, quickly focusing on the massive distance beneath you, something so large and foreboding the fright inside you shrinks to acceptance.

“Let me help you over.”

Who is this man? He looks too handsome, too put together to be out here at this hour. Someone like him should be warm in bed and sleeping happily in the arms of a lover, not here.

You shouldn’t have to be here either, teetering on the edge and willing to give it all up. Your life shouldn’t have ended up here! You let go of the breath you were holding in and begin to cry again.

“Come back and let’s talk, yes? What’s your name? My name is Seokjin. You can call me Jin.” He sounds so kind and friendly, like the nurses at the clinic you visited, words softly spoken, trying to calm you down.

He thinks he’s getting through to you now. It makes you want to laugh, but you're too busy crying instead, falling apart instead, accepting your fate as you tilt your body forward.

You shake your head, release one hand from the railing.

And the cold wind whips between your fingers, stinging your skin, reminding you that this is it.

This is the end.

A hand quickly grabs your free one, yanking you back, and the wind screams for you. Jin looks as surprised as you when you turn your head to look back at him.

Before you can question him, get angry and yell at him, he’s securing his other arm around yours, stepping closer to you.

“W-What are you doing?!” you yell incredulously.

“I’m not letting you do this!” he yells back, determined.

“Let me GO!”

“No!”

This man was on a mission now, arms snaking around your waist, pulling your body towards him, putting himself in danger to save you.

What the hell are you supposed to do now?! You can’t jump, not with this stranger clinging to your back like a squirrel. You’re not homicidal, just suicidal, okay?! You’re not a murderer.

Damn him, Jin. You reluctantly move your body into the handsome stranger’s arms to make it easier for him to pull you over, falling backwards in a tangle of limbs onto the safety of the bridge.

“Oof!”

Now that the severity of the situation was reduced to a jarring awkward encounter, you lay paralyzed by your failure. Looks like you couldn’t even kill yourself right, can anything in your life go right?

You looked towards the night sky, the stars hidden by the city lights leave only the black nothingness of the universe hanging over your head. And you hate it. And you hated the fact that this stranger’s arms were still secure around your waist with no intention of letting you finish what you started. You lie over him stunned…disappointed…upset, and yet he hasn’t let you go or objected to the dead weight of your body on top of him.

What must he think of you…and why hasn’t he pushed you off of him?!

You kick your legs out and roll to your side, attempting to yank off his arm lock.

Eventually he does let go, sitting up with you. And eventually you address him, words low and accusing.

“Tell me, if someone took everything from you by force, reached inside you and took every good memory you had with them and turned your life into a nightmare, and if all you had left was the hope that they would at least pay for what they did to you. And not even that, you have left, not even hope anymore…is that bad enough for you?”

Seokjin gulps. “It gets better,” he says rather unconvincingly.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Well it can’t get worse.”

You snort.

“You feel hopeless, yeah?” he says, “I know that feeling. I know what it feels like to want your life to end, to wish you could just disappear,” he says melancholy, as if recalling an old memory.

“But trust me, that feeling, it passes, and eventually, you’ll be happy you didn’t do it,” he smiles, and it makes you think, what does he know, what could he possibly know of the despair you feel?

“There will be a moment, something…someone, maybe soon, or maybe a long time from now, that will make you happy you didn’t jump off this bridge tonight.”

“Fuck off.” You turn to him annoyed and stare at emptiness. ‘Wait, where did he go?’ You think, standing up and spinning around.

What the fuck? Should you…jump now?

“Wait! How about this-”

You scream, clutching your chest. Then in anger, you shove him.

Well you try to, your body falling forward onto the concrete.

“What the fuck is happening to me,” you ask in disbelief, touching cold concrete beneath the palms of your hand, your knees stinging from the stumble. Your breathing escalates as you stare behind you at Jin, the man you passed right through.

“Take a deep breath,” he says calmly, bending down to your level.

You start shaking. “I’ve officially gone crazy. Y-You’re...you’re not real!”

“Ehh I see why you would think that. I am not offended.”

You hesitantly reach for his shoulder, poking his clothes. They feel real, and his shoulder moves as you put more pressure.

“See, that, I don’t know how that keeps happening.”

“W-What?!” you splutter.

He places a palm on your cheek, and you now realize how cold his hand feels as you stare wide eyed into his sad looking gaze. “There has to be a reason…I can…it’s not your time,” he says, enjoying the feel of your skin against his palm, the sensation of being able to touch you amazing him the most.

“Am I…a-am I already dead?” Your bloodshot eyes dart to the railing and fear rushes through you. You wanted to be dead, right? You didn’t really think about what would happen after death.

“No,” he laughs, running his cold thumb across your cheek. “Y/n, your situation is not hopeless, not like mine,” he says, before you can no longer feel his touch anymore, instead a weird sensation washes through you as his hand passes through your jaw. Jin looks down at his palm with a mixture of confusion and disappointment.

“You’re a-you’re a-”

“I, you know, boo,” he finishes for you, wiggling his arms in front of himself like pretend noodles.

“Hold on,” you stutter out, “Give me a second.” You pull your legs into your body. You feel like throwing up. This has to be a hallucination. Of course a handsome man like him would not be in just the right place and just the right time to save you. You didn’t jump and now you’ve given yourself a mental breakdown, oh great!

“Okay,” Jin makes himself comfortable on the ground beside you, “how about I haunt that fucker for you. Will you live then?”

“Huh? Haunt, what?”

He gives you a sheepish grin, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve never actually tried, but it should come natural right?”

"Ghost...I’m being haunted by a ghost."

“I’m not haunting you,” he says, offended. “We’re just talking!”

“I don’t want to talk to a ghost! Or a person, or anyone! Go away!” you groan.

”I c-can’t! I can’t leave...” he murmurs defeatedly ”...except for you know-” he nods towards the ledge.

“You mean, you?” You look over to the spot you had first climbed over.

With a sad smile he says, “Yeah.”

Then Jin says, “And I definitely don’t recommend it.”

---

You went home.

There was not much else you could do, so you just…

Went back…

Home.

…like nothing happened, like you just stopped off to run an errand instead of trying to throw yourself off a bridge.

You quietly stepped out of your shoes for the second time tonight, put your keys down next to your purse and your now-not-needed suicide note and took out a glass from the cabinet, reaching for the bottle of whisky on top of your refrigerator and down a full glass.

…and another.

You laughed after the third glass, you cried after the fourth, you could swear you saw that annoying man again after the fifth.

And then you slept like the dead.

---

The sun was too bright, your body felt too heavy, and you had the most painful hangover of your life.

You were convinced you imagined everything last night as you lay in bed recalling particular events the alcohol did not erase.

His face is what you couldn’t stop thinking about, Jin’s soft and sad smile, his kind eyes, sharp jawline and perfectly styled hair.

You must have seen him in a movie or drama, that has to be it. Someone that handsome you envisioned as some sort of knight in shining armor, a beautiful figment of your imagination, Jin.

You groan into your pillow.

The last thing you could remember was the promise you had made to him, a reluctant reassurance you would not make any more attempts to end your life for the night and he had disaperated before you could say anything else.

You try to lift your heavy head unsuccessfully, instead sinking deeper into the covers while attempting to will the sun to shine a little less bright this morning.

Stop thinking about him, y/n! Stop thinking about his laugh…

---

“So what?” You ask angrily, “You’re like a ghost that haunts this bridge, trying to convince others not to jump like you did? Sounds hypocritical to me.”

You’re not entirely sure trying to make conversation with this apparent apparition and probable hallucination is a good idea, but you’re on a bad idea streak tonight.

Jin balks, scoffing, pointing an accusing finger in your direction, “Hey! I was stopping you from making a terrible decision!”

“It was my decision to make” you sulk stubbornly, sitting next to him cross-legged, your shoulder bumping into his shoulder. You can’t figure out if you can feel his presence beside you or not.

“I thought jumping would end all my problems too,” Jin says, leaning his head back and resting it on the bridge’s pillar, “It doesn’t, okay? Look at me now.”

You guess it’s a fact of the universe that misery loves company.

You clear your throat, wipe away the remaining dried tears off your cheeks and turn your head to get a good look at Jin, really taking in his features, his presence, his aura. A ghost, huh? He couldn’t have been a genie? Even a demon sounds more interesting. You would definitely sell your soul if it meant you could finally punish the man who hurt you.

He breathes out tenser than usual from your attention and where a cloud of hot breath should be there is nothing. But he looks so solid, so real, how is any of this not real?

How broken is your mind?

You reach out slowly, the tips of your fingers barely grazing the ends of his hair and you can’t be quite sure if it was you or the wind that moved the strands away from his face, too scared to move closer to Jin and confirm.

Jin shyly looks away, it turns out interacting with the living was something he didn’t realize how much he yearned for, not until you acknowledged his voice calling out to you and– told him to mind his own business– Jin can’t help but smile.

Why does this ghost man have such a smug face? You frown, annoyed.

“If you’re really a ghost, where are the others?”

“What?”

“Where are the others who jumped? This bridge is famous for this kind of thing, you know.”

“It is?” he asks, wide-eyed. “I’ve never…I’ve never seen others. You’re the f-first- I come here every night to jump off, hoping one will stick,” he laughs bitterly. “You’re the first person I’ve met here too.”

You feel your stomach drop at his words, “How long have you been doing that?”

“I d-don’t know. I-” he scratches his head reflexively, the burden of the truth beginning to feel too much.

“Jin, what year is it for you?”

“Huh?” he thinks, ‘What year is it?’ Why is the question so difficult to answer? “1970?”

You feel your heart rate escalate, pounding inside your chest. Your stomach turns and bile threatens to escape. The thought of him going through what you had almost done…every night for decades, over and over again.

Did he cry like you had, so many tears you could barely see? Did his fingers and toes go numb from fright? Did he think about every horrible thing in his life like you did? Every night for decades? Over and over again?

No no no, this is not real.

Jin scrunches his eyebrows, closing his eyes while his fingers nervously pull at the sleeves of his coat. “Don’t look at me like that please.”

You swallow and quickly look away, coming to an understanding with him. That look, you hate it too. It’s the look your neighbor would give you when she noticed another bruise on your body, a mark peeking out from under makeup. It was the look your friends gave you when you finally decided to confide in them. The look your own mother gave you when you told her you were going to press charges. The look of horror.

You open your mouth, thinking of what to say. What would you want someone to say to you in this moment of vulnerability? “You’re right,” you concede, however reluctant, “Perhaps it would have been a mistake maybe. You saved me, so maybe you won’t have to go through all this anymore either.”

“Think so? Think it will be that easy?” His lips curl teasingly.

“Or maybe that will be your thing now, stopping others so they don’t turn into ghosts too? You’ve really never seen anyone else here except for me?” you ask skeptical.

“I don’t know, I’ve never seen any other ghost,” he shivers, “I’m so glad, that would be too scary.”

You laugh, really laugh for the first time in days, maybe even weeks, clutching your stomach as you try to stop. “You’re scared of ghosts?”

Jin lowers his head, ears flushed red, an embarrassed smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and then starts laughing with you. His laughter is the kind of laughter that makes you laugh harder, the kind you think about later and smile remembering.

The kind of laughter you can’t stop thinking about now.

---

“What are you smiling at?”

“Ahh!” You scream. And Jin screams. And you both scream, until your head is pounding. “Oh God, oh God.”

Why were you thinking about him?! Now look at what you’ve done!

“This is not real.” You groan, clutching your body.

Stop hallucinating and get it together, please!

“Really? Well, I would say I am more real than God.” He jumps on your bed and it squeaks, moving your body as the place he jumps dips lower.

You bury your head into your pillow, using the sides to cover your ears until the jostling stops.

Okay, you’re okay.

You brave a peek now and you see that annoying man, sitting cross legged at the foot of your bed. You scream again. He flinches and you clutch your pounding head, feeling sicker than ever.

“Stop screaming, it’s scary! And probably not the best to do the morning after drinking a whole bottle of whisky.”

Fuck.

---

“‘Mom I’m sorry for letting you down, but I guess I’ve let you down a lot-’ This is really sad.”

You yank the note out of Jin’s hands, crumpling it up. “Yeah, well, I was sad when I wrote it.”

“Are you still sad?” He asks, hopeful.

“No,” you frown, “And yes, well I’m clearly having a mental breakdown.” You whisk batter. “Talking to hallucinations in the middle of my kitchen.”

“Okay now I’m a little bit offended.”

“Why are you here?!” You spin around, crossing your arms. “Go away!”

You hoped that would have done it, it worked before. But Jin stands sheepishly next to you, no coat, sleeves rolled up, eyeing the clumpy batter like he wants to help.

“If I go away, how can I answer your question?”

“IT WAS RHETORICAL.”

“Well good, because I don’t know why!”

You attempt to forcibly remove your uninvited guest from your home, but no matter what you do, you continue to go right through Jin’s body. You yelp when your knees legs crash into wood after another unsuccessful attempt, and out of frustration, you do that only thing left to do, cry.

You sob.

You thought you could just pretend like nothing happened, fall back into the motions of everyday life, maybe find the will to live eventually since even dying seemed to be too difficult for you.

But no, you clearly have done irreparable damage to your psyche. What now? Find a therapist, check yourself into a psychiatric facility?

Jin starts calling your name, having read it from your signature on your note. “Hey, hey?!”

You feel your shoulders shake, not from sobs, but from Jin’s hands trying to get your attention.

“Why is this happening to me?” you cry.

Jin did not have an answer for you. He just knew he wanted to be there for you. He pulls you into a hug, hands tight around your shaking frame, grounding you to him.

You cry and cry, getting louder and eventually quieting, tired. Until only tears flow out of you, and then those stop too.

---

“Where’s the syrup?”

“In the fridge, on the door next to the coffee creamer.”

You force yourself to act normal. It feels alien when you lift the fork to your mouth. The sweet toast Jin made taste great, if only you could enjoy them.

You hear your fridge door open and you grip the edge of the table until your fingers hurt, a way to show yourself you are not in a dream. The door closes. You haven’t moved, have you? Can you trust your own senses? You resign yourself to the fantasy that a ghost just cooked you breakfast and is now handing you syrup, since the latter is too depressing to think about.

“I have a question,” you speak through chews.

“Err I might have the answer?” Jin takes a seat next to you.

“Why did you do it?”

“Make food?”

You roll your eyes. “Why did you kill yourself?” You ask bluntly. “Why would you want to kill yourself?” you raise your eyebrows at the ghost

“Why did you want to?”

You cut another slice, turning your palm to point the knife at him, “I asked first.”

Jin sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I had a really bad day,” he says, obtuse.

That’s it? “It’s okay,” you act unconcerned, “you don’t have to tell me. It’s not like you’re real anyways.”

“You know I really don’t like when you say that.”

You rest your head on your palm, eyeing the ghost. “Should I believe you then, should I call an exorcist?”

“But I just got here,” he whines.

You sigh, tapping the knife on your table. “You had a bad day, I had a bad life.”

Jin gently removes the blade out of your fist, replacing the tempting tool with his presence instead, slim fingers between your own.

You look down at your intertwined hands, turning your body into his comfort. “Why do you feel so real?” you whimper, leaning your head against his forehead.

“I am,” he whispers, head hanging low, thumbs rubbing circles into your palm. “You can talk to me.”

“I loved him. Part of me still does,” It’s painful to think about, to admit out loud. “Even after everything he did to me.”

Memories replay; smiles turning sour, laughter replaced with yelling. He loved you in the beginning, didn’t he? When he kissed you, took you to beautiful places, looked at you like you were the most exquisite person in the room, or had he always just loved himself?

Jin clenches your hands tighter. “What did he do to you?”

You let out a small bitter laugh. “The last time, what I remember? Broke my ribs, cheek, arm…” you run your tongue over the small chip in your front tooth and bring your conjoined hands to the side of your head, guiding Jin’s finger over a scar hidden by hair. “You know what’s funny? I probably would have ended up staying, I always stayed. But then,” you swallow, “I became pregnant, and I knew if I didn’t leave and he found out, and made me keep it...” you shake your head, dismissing such a horrible thought.

The trial was lengthy, his lawyers tore apart your character, proved to be better at gaslighting than even him, but he never did find out, that was your only victory.

Even though you lost your case, even though the only thing that kept him at bay was a small piece of paper and a prayer that police could get to you in time, it wasn’t really your ex that made you want to end it all. No, it was ultimately the loneliness, the guilt…

It was all you in the end.

---

“Jin?!” you jump startled, “Shit you scared me.”

You turn on your bedroom light, tossing and turning all night, you opened your eyes and noticed a figure sitting on a chair in the corner of your room.

“Sorry, I could go in the living room? Being around you, I just feel more…myself.”

You sit up, “What do you mean?”

“It’s like I’m just not existing in this world, but a part of it. I don’t need to think about how to interact with everything around me, I can just be…me.” He smiles and then yawns.

“Are you sleepy? Can ghosts get tired?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t talked to one,,” Jin says lightly, adjusting his legs.

You groan. “You can sleep there, if you’d like.” You look over to the empty space on your bed. Old habits tend to die hard as you still slept on only one side.

Jin cautiously crosses the room, settling himself on top of the covers. He sighs, sinking into the comfortable mattress. “This is nice,” he says, eyes closeing, and smiles.

You smile too, it was nice. It was nice to have someone next to you again after so many restless nights, his presence next to you meant you could finally fall asleep peacefully, your tired eyes closing almost immediately.

Your dreams always began nice, but eventually, memories would invade, turning your dreams into nightmares, reminders of the horrible things you chose to ignore when awake, now fighting through it in your subconscious, until you wake up crying.

“Y/n?”

It’s still night when you wake up. You rub away the tears cascading down your face. You’re not thinking whether the ghost beside you is a figment of your imagination or even a spiritual being, at that moment you were just happy not to be alone.

You reach for Jin, needing to feel the tightness of arms and solidness of a chest to calm your grief.

“It’s okay, it was just a nightmare,” he soothes.

It wasn’t just a nightmare. It was a nightmare and it was more.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper after calming down, still held in his embrace.

“Why are you apologizing?” he asks, a lightness in his voice that made the heaviness in your heart feel silly. His chin rests on top of your head, arms around you, leg over the bump of your covers, holding you tight and secure.

You stay still, too embarrassed to move away and catch his eyes, “For being broken,” you mumble.

Jin stays silent, then finally asks you, “Do you want to know why I jumped?” You murmur a yes. “My bad day? It was when my fiancé left me.” he says quietly, “She um left me for my best friend,” he mumbles the rest, so quiet, barely to a whisper, but you hear him loud and clear, “...the day we were supposed to marry.”

You find the courage to pull away and look at him, “On y-your wedding day?”

Jin nods, offering you a pained smile, “She said I was too difficult to love, after what happened with my mother. My mother was sick, really sick, she was dying. She…tried to hold on until the wedding. She didn’t make it, she died four months before the ceremony,” he says. “I’ve had time to see, she was right, I was difficult to love. I think maybe I rushed it, so my mother could see I was married and wouldn’t worry anymore” he rationalizes, “I should have been more present, more involved in the wedding. I just stopped caring about everything after it happened. I pushed her into an engagement and then I couldn’t even be happy about it.”

“That doesn’t excuse what she did. At all!”

Jin smiles sadly, “No, it doesn’t.”

“Being broken, being difficult, it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to be treated right, right?”

You stay silent, shifting in his arms to get more comfortable. He watches you nod off slowly. Your features soften in your sleep, your quiet snores start again, and he feels something stirring in his chest, a feeling other than sadness and discontent and numbing resentment. And it made him feel….alive.

---

When you wake up you are alone, yet well rested, blanket tucked to your body, sheets in a state you couldn’t very well accomplish yourself.

Where did Jin go? You’re going to have to talk to Jin about that, for the sake of your sanity he needs to stop disappearing like he never existed.

Or maybe, that’s the reason. You look around your empty room, sunlight cascading through the windows. “Jin? Hello?” You heard not a single reply back.

Jin disappears for hours, so eventually you begin to assure yourself it was all just in your head. Until you turn around and see him lounging on your couch like a long lost roommate.

“Ahh!” You fall backwards.

“Ahh!” Jin rushes forward, stumbling over his long limbs and falling onto the floor. You pull your knees up close to your body, covering your face. “What’s wrong?!” Jin begins to panic with you, ignoring the hurt he feels as you act terrified of him again, so different from the connection you made with him last night.

“Where did you go?!” you yell into your knees, “You just show up randomly out of nowhere and expect me to believe this is not all in my head. Oh god, I’m talking to myself, when is my therapist appointment? Fourteen more days.”

How could Jin tell you he went to look for his former fiancé after what he told you last night? She had passed, of course, after so many years. Buried next to a name Jin didn't recognize, she was still able to find love in the end.

“This is not real-”

“I am real! Well, I was, I was alive!”

“No. NO!”

Whatever you are doing to yourself is not healthy, so until your appointment you decide to ignore Jin. When he’s asking you questions, when he’s following you around. You convince yourself you are alone, that there is not a handsome stranger adamantly choosing to invade every part of your waking existence.

Though by the way you stiffen, dart your eyes away from his direction, suppress a laugh when he cracks a joke, Jin knows you can still see him, and that’s good enough for him.

You walk to the kitchen and see Jin concentrating on picking up a cup, getting frustrated when he can’t hold it, so you use that cup to make coffee. Jin sighs. “So today is my first in-person session,” you speak out loud, scrolling through your phone and pretending Jin wasn’t looking over your shoulder.. You talked to your therapist over video, not getting anywhere. She was concerned with digging up your past, but you were concerned with getting the hallucinations to stop. As days went on, you were not so sure anymore what was real, and that scared you.

Walking down the street you could easily ignore Jin the way everyone else ignored him. But then there would be moments where he would suggest something you did not know, bump into you, appear out of nowhere to hand you your toothbrush after you washed your face, and you would have no explanation for those moments.

“Can’t wait,” Jin says, resting his head on your shoulder. You move away flustered, and he picks up the empty coffee cup and puts it in the sink. He’s been practicing.

---

“Are you still hearing voices?”

“Not voices, really,” you fidget, Jin has taken up to lying across the couch you’re seated on, head in your lap. “It’s one voice, and instead of a voice, it’s more like a…uhh…ghost.”

The therapist nods and writes a series of notes, “Is this ‘ghost’ someone who used to be in your life?”

“Well no-” You wave a hand in front of your face, trying to stop Jin’s reaching hand, finger aimed too close to your left nostril. The therapist looks up at you in that moment, and you wonder if she reacted because of your awkwardness or Jin’s laughter. “Sorry! Mosquito,”you apologize to the therapist as Jin snickers, pulling away, knuckles stinging from your swat.

It was easier when Jin was close to you, when your consciousness had no choice to admit he was there and a physical presence in your life.

Jin moves a leg towards the therapist's coffee table and nudges it with his foot. “No, I’ve never-” The magazine on the table falls off and you both jump.

“You saw that?” You look at her, standing up straighter. “You heard that?”

The therapist reaches to pick up the fallen magazine. “Now, now, things sometimes fall,” she says, a slight edge to her voice even when she tries to calm you, but you’re too busy paying attention to the man behind her, he bends down and picks up the pen she dropped, “There’s always an explanation-”

He throws it across the room, and it smacks the window with a loud clatter. She yelps, startled.

You stand up, pointing a finger in her direction, “You saw that, right?!”

“I-”

“Do something,” but you’re not pleading to the therapist, you’re pleading to Jin.

He crosses his arms, grinning wickedly, then kicks the back of her chair.

She screams. You gasp. Jin smiles triumphantly.

You pick up your jacket, stumbling towards the exit. “Thank you, I think I’ve had a breakthrough, so I’m just going to go now.”

“Wait!” The therapist spins around.

“Told you, you aren’t going crazy.” Jin smirks, walking in step with you. You ignore him, running hurriedly away from the office, debating on whether being haunted was actually better or worse for you.

---

You sip on a fruity smoothie, taking a seat on the bottom steps of an empty staircase. “I still feel crazy,” you sigh, “talking to you, seeing you. What am I supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know. Want to go to the park?”

You scoff, “Fine.”

During springtime the park was full of color, every kind of flower blooming. Despite the heat, it was pleasant walking through the area, passing by families playing and couples enjoying picnics in the green landscape.

“Let’s go this way instead,” Jin says quietly. You look over to your ghost companion and notice his worried features, following his line of sight. In the distance, you see it.

The place you first met him.

In the daylight it looks transformed. There’s a large line to get there, a crowd of people taking pictures at the sight. This happens sometimes on the weekends, and more often in this season due to the nice weather and abundance of flowers.

For all the time Jin has been stuck, tethered to that bridge, he has never seen it in this way. “C’mon,” you walk closer with Jin cautiously in tow.

“What are they doing?”

“Putting flowers, for those who jumped. For you,” you smile. It would have been for you too, you realize, if Jin hadn’t intervened.

Every surface of the bridge is covered with colorful petals, bouquets left on its railing, between its beams, transforming the dull gray concrete and brown wooden parts of bridge into a bridge of flowers. The Flower Bridge.

In the beginning, mourning families would leave memorials to those they lost on the anniversary of their death or when they missed them. Then others joined in, strangers who understood the grief of losing a loved one so tragically, coming together to show their support. With more and more headlines of jumpers and more grieving families visiting, the flowers quickly became a permanent tribute. Which led to days like this, where the community would come together to remind others the beauty that life still has to offer.

A shuddering breath escapes your companion. You understand what he’s going through, the same guilt was growing in the pit of your chest. You watch families take smiling pictures together next to the wide array of flowers. The wind picks up and petals scatter and onlookers cheer in awe. That’s how life should be. Happy.

“Where would you like to go now?” You don’t turn to him, but you reach your pinky out, grazing Jin’s hand.

“I have a place in mind.”

---

You hold a small bouquet of lilies. “This is her?” You look around, the cemetery is empty, “Here, you should do it.” You offer the flowers to Jin.

“Wherever you are, one day, I’ll be there. I love you, mom.” Jin whispers quietly, placing the flowers over her headstone. You place a packet of ginger sesame candies next to his flowers, a bottle of rice wine, her favorites according to Jin.

“Your son is a good man.” You step away and let Jin have a moment alone. You should call your mother, visit her. You should tell her you love her while she can still hear it from you. You should do it before it becomes too late, becomes soft whispers to the wind and earth and flowers she won’t smell.

Not everyone becomes a ghost.

---

“Want some?” you ask, it was unsettling the way Jin just stared at you as you ate dinner.

“I can’t eat it,” he sulks, waving a hand through your glass.

“Hmm, can I try something?”

“Yeah– Hey!” Jin flinches back.

You smile wide, licking mashed potatoes off your finger. “Come here,” you grab his cheeks with your other hand, pulling his head closer. “If I can do that,” you remark on the smeared potatoes on Jin’s cheek, “then you should be able to…” you move your thumb over the mess, pushing the food closer to his lips until some of it falls into his mouth. “...well can you taste it?”

Jin reaches to wipe the remnants off his face, eyes growing wider and wider, “Yes! How-”

You laugh and try not to think of how soft his lips were against your skin, the way it felt when your thumb dipped into his mouth slightly. You cut a small piece of steak, piercing it with your fork and offer it to an excited Jin.

What ever connection you were creating was becoming stronger. Jin was becoming less of a memory, more than just a spirit, and the anomaly was bringing attention to the unassuming ghost from beings of another realm far reaching.

---

Jin coughs, following you around your apartment. “What’s that?”

You spin around, holding the burning stick bundle in front of Jin’s face, waving it around him, “Sage.”

“I’m not an evil spirit!”

“I’m trying to help you!” You blow the accumulating smoke in Jin’s face and he goes into a fit of coughs.

“Are you going to try to waterboard me next?”

“You’re so overdramatic, I swear.”

“Well, I mean, I did-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence.”

“You found it a little bit funny, though.”

You try to control the muscles in your face unsuccessfully, pushing the teasing spirit away instead.

You know you shouldn’t get used to this, but you were becoming comfortable with Jin. You showed him new music, practiced uncoordinated dances with him in your living room, spent mornings telling him about the years he missed. You spent nights talking about each other’s past, even the worst parts you were able to confide in Jin. He listened to you, really listened to you, and gave you his opinions on things, and sometimes you agreed and sometimes you didn’t, but he would never get mad, never belittle you. Sure, he would tease you, even annoy you. You started to wish for the moments where you would be teased by Jin.

Then there were moments when you laid across from Jin in the middle of the night, staring into his eyes, and wondered how a man who died so long ago could be so perfectly suited for you.

“What’s on your mind?” Jin lies on his side, watching you too. His hand lays by his head, open and inviting. Running your fingers across his palm was the smallest of gestures, holding his hand was not a grand declaration by any means, but the significance it held to both of you and the love you felt was all too consuming.

“You,” you whisper.

“You too.”

You scoot closer, into his arms, sleepy. It was easy to sleep around him, it was easy to nap in the living room with your head against his shoulder, easy to relax on a public bench or cafe table with him close. Smiling, laughing, became routine, became constant. It wasn’t hard at all, falling in love with Jin.

Your heads shared a pillow, you slept so close now your legs intertwined like roots, Jin’s arm found its place in the curve of your back, holding onto the dimples of your body by the handful. You were both too touch-starved and too enamored to let go.

Your noses touched, your lips were only a head tilt away, but the gap between you felt like the distance between two stars, and this time, staring into Jin’s hopefully and expecting warm brown eyes, you were too afraid to jump forward.

Three loud knocks make you both jump and sit up, listening at the harsh noise repeating itself over and over.

You put on your slippers to see who was knocking at your door at this hour of the night.

Checking the peep hole, you see the image of the man who used to plague your nightmares.

“Go away or I will call the police,” your usual meek threats were strong and direct now. You watched as your ex stumbles into your door again, crying out.

“What was that?” you heard Jin’s voice behind you. You knew what it was. He was drunk.

“Turn off the lights,” Jin directed, his presence moving past you, through the closed door.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look through the peephole again, waiting for Jin to return.

The door shook again as you listened to your drunk ex incoherent angry mumbles.

“Y/n?” Jin was behind you again, lowering his words, “I can make sure he never bothers you again. Do you want me to?”

You kept your back pressed against the cold door, small shivers running through you every time it shook from your ex’s hits. Swallowing, you meet Jin’s hardened eyes, and his overflowing bravery hits you like a wave and washes over you as well. So you nod yes.

Pulling the door open you stand face to face with your ex, “What do you want?”

He straightens himself. “I brought you flowers,” he says, holding out the wilted roses. “Y/n, I missed you. Do you know what today is?” You did not want to know, you did not want to remember. “Today would have been our four year anniversary,” he offers you the sad browning flowers. “Please just let me in so we can talk.” He runs a hand through his hair, “Please, fuck, just hear me out and then I’ll never bother you again, I swear.”

It was a lie, of course, like all his promises. You knew better than to believe him now. You sigh, tired, rubbing your temples, “Listen, it’s late,” You grip the door, ready to close it, “I have work tomorrow, we can talk in the-”

It was then when you tried to reason with him that your ex grabbed your wrists in both hands, pushing, forcing you to retreat back inside, invading your home. You stomach lurched in disgust at the familiar sting as his digits tightened into your bones.

You could have screamed, yelled at him to let go, or cursed his presence. You wanted to yell, you wanted to curse him. All the times you pleaded and cried against his assaults were coursing through your memory, making you anxious and tense.

You control your breathing instead, staring eyebrows raised, lips shut. A reaction men like him hated the most.

“I just want to talk, okay? You’ve blocked my number, had to go overboard with the fucking restraining order, now my friends won’t even hang out with me anymore, you know. All because of you. You got what you wanted, alright? Even though I was proved innocent, you had to get all your little friends to tell everyone we know.” His grip tightens as if he were trying to get a reaction from you, and when you do not speak, he yanks you forward. You ball your fists up, stiffening even more. “Y/n, you’ve ruined my life!”

You couldn’t help yourself, laughing at him.

He looks at you, furious. “Who was that?” You look over your shoulder, see Jin, standing in the darkness of your apartment. Shadows covering most of his figure so you could only see his eyes, the only part of him that caught the small amount of moonlight filtering into your apartment. Shining white, his livid gaze looked scarier than any glare from your ex.

Your ex blinked, convinced he saw a figure of a man. “Do you have a man in here?”

“And if I do? We’re not together anymore.”

His jaw clenches. “This was my apartment. Y/n…there better not be a man in my apartment,” he threatens.

“Just leave!”

“Yeah? Fucking whore-”

He snapped. A predictable, brazen, pathetic action. Hand pulling back to strike you. But it wasn’t you who was hit. Your ex was thrown off balance instead, falling to the floor, no, being dragged down to the floor.

His collar was pulled tight around his neck, the fabric twisting behind him, choking him.

“You’re going to leave her alone now.” A deep voice threatens in his ear, tightening the fabric even more.

And then the pressure was gone, leaving him to gasp for air on the floor, trying to focus his eyes in the dark unlit room.

“What the hell?!” he coughs out.

Your heart pounds wildly in your chest watching the sight of your ex bumbling around at your feet, “You heard him. Pretend I don’t exist anymore. Or you won’t. Do you understand now?”

“You-” he lunges forward, yet something is pulling his head back. For a second he had believed he tripped over a chair, how could something hurt so much? Whatever it was hits him in the mouth, with so much force his head flops to the side as his jaw cracks. Then a hard dig in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

He rolled on the ground in pain, there was no knocked over chair or table to explain the sharp hits he endured.

You watch jin quietly circle your ex’s body. He lifts him up by the hair, so you can see the damage, the blood gushing from his mouth and nose.

“Y/n,” he splutter, “h-help me.”

“Like you ‘helped’ me? Gladly.” You say, pulling off his belt.

You threw the belt behind you, watched it become looped around his neck. You stood and watched him kick and yell being pulled through the apartment like a leashed dog. You follow quietly behind his stumbling mass, into the hallway, up the staircase. Up and up, you step quietly amidst his wheezing grunting and clanking, watching instead the back of the man who for the first time showed the violence he was capable of, and yet you still only felt safe and protected in his presence.

“You deserve worse, you know.” you say quietly. If you inflicted every injury onto him that he had done to you, it would still not be enough to show him the pain he caused you. Your ex flails and kicks, standing on his tiptoes, being pulleyed by his own belt, a high beam and Jin’s full body weight holding him upright.

He tries to retort, but the words come out as gurgle and gasp. It doesn’t matter, you don’t really care what he has to say anymore.

You look past him, to Jin, the sweet kind spirit who is ready to kill for you. No, you won’t make him a killer. He’s better than that, you’re better than that. Better than this monster. “Let him go,” you look back over at his swollen ugly face. “He’s not worth it.”

You ex collapses onto the group, gasping, spitting out blood.

He looks up and watches stunned as you walk away with a man by your side, tall in stature, wide back on a lean frame, and an arm around your shoulders.

He’s alone then, left to wonder what the hell just happened.

And then, unbeknownst to him, he’s not alone. A tall shadowy figure stands behind him, gathering information.

He grimaces, disgusted by the wretchedness of humanity. The man’s wounds are not life threatening unfortunately. The figure turns away, and again your ex is alone.

Deservedly.

---

Jin scratches under whiskers, cooing at the stray tuxedo cat that noticed him.

“Come on! The train leaves soon. I want to actually get there before the sun sets.” It’s been a long time since you took a trip to the beach. After what happened, you just wanted to get away and have some fun.

The beach felt like paradise. You probably looked like a crazy woman, laughing ‘alone,’ but you did not feel crazy. You felt happy. It was those who passed you, who felt a little crazed, those who saw a strikingly handsome man out of the corner of their eye, who could hear two sets of laughter, and then when they looked under your umbrella, only saw you lounging in the sand instead.

“Was there a man just next to you?” A girl in a small tight dress asks you curiously, looking around you. You shake your head, go back to drinking at the beach bar. “I could have sworn…” you hear her, stumbling through the crowded club.

“I want to dance,” you say, with the unspoken understanding that you wanted Jin to follow you to the dance floor.

The deeper you entered the club, the darker it became. Lights flickered on and off to the beat. Jin stuck close to you, keeping other bodies from touching yours. It was the first time he was coming into contact with so many people all at once and it was overwhelming for him.

There were so many dancers, would anyone notice if you dance with Jin? You were tipsy, willing to act risky. You spin in a circle, hands exploring Jin’s chest and meeting behind his neck.

“I’m not a dancer,” Jin whispers in your ear. It was nonsense, you thought. You’ve already seen his moves when you danced together in your living room. You smiled at the memory, giggling in your inebriation.

You swung your hips, moving against Jin’s front, slow and sensual. Pressing your body close. You were able to close your eyes, feel him. Jin was there. His presence was observable, it was felt by you and anyone close enough to collide into him.

Flashing lights made everyone there feel a little out of their bodies, and you felt free. You were dancing with him! You rolled your hips purposefully, curled your fingers into his hair. Until you weren’t. Until a stranger more living than Jin pressed his crotch to your back and rolled his hips perfectly to the beat. You reached forward and Jin was gone, and you were drunk, not realizing he had left, assuming at least one of the bodies pressed tight to yours was his, forgetting he had no physical body anymore.

“Are you leaving already?” The man who danced with you finds you outside.

“Yeah, I just need some fresh air.” you pant, letting the salty breeze cool your sweaty skin, waves crash far off into the distance behind the muffled sounds of club music.

“You’re not from here, right? Going back to a hotel?”

The man has kind eyes, like Jin’s. Wait, where is he?

“Yeah, I better go. It’s not that far from here.”

“Let me walk with you, this area is pretty safe, but still, a woman shouldn't walk alone.”

You nod, walking with him, bumping into each other in your inebriated states. You weren’t expecting how different it felt walking beside him than Jin, it was awkward and a bit jarring. His body was warm, his damp clothes felt sticky against your bare arm. “I never got your name,” he says.

“Y/n, you?”

“Jimin,” he laughs. “Want to go swimming?”

“I better not,” you bite your lip, “isn’t it a bit dangerous going into the sea at night, what if you drown?”

“Ahh what’s life without a little danger?” he giggles, “And I so happen to be a fantastic swimmer.”

You contemplate his offer, “Hmm I better not,” you smile.

“Well nice meeting you, y/n.” Jimin lingered, perhaps wanting you to offer him to come inside.

“Thank you, again, for walking with me.” you swallow, “Well goodnight.”

Jimin smiles and nods, “See you.”

Jin wasn’t inside your hotel room, but there was a familiar figure illuminated by moonlight, walking the shoreline outside your room.

“There you are. What’s wrong?”

Jin watches the wave water cover his feet. When he steps to the side, his footprint stays in the sand. It was funny to him, how even dead, he could affect things so. He saw the path he took, recognized every choice he made in the past as clear and defined as a footprint in wet sand, but the path he had yet to take, he had no idea what it looked like. It wasn’t fair to keep you in the past with him.

“I wish I had lived life more,” he says. “When I was alive.”

“Well, you kind of gotten a second chance at that, if you think about it.” you soothe.

“It’s not, not really,” he sighs.

“What’s wrong?”

“You deserve a real dance partner.”

Jin looks at the moon, following its path down to the sea waves reflecting its light. No one would look at the water’s reflection and mistake it for the moon. Jin saw himself as a mere reflection and he had no place in the sky where stars lived.

“Since when did you start thinking that?” you laugh, confused. “Now you’re trying to convince me you’re not real? Should I start seeing a therapist again?”

It started when Jin started loving you, loving you more than anything or anyone else before. Real love, love that made him only want what’s best for you. Jin’s love, it was the only real thing about him.

“Jin, please, you’re scaring me.” you swallow, watching him stare far off into the distance, half expecting him to walk into the sea and never return. “I feel you, you’re here with me. You are.”

You press your palm to his cheek, moving his head to face you. “You feel this, yeah?” you urge, you did not want to relive the uncertainty again. Before you lose your courage, you lean forward, placing a soft kiss against his other cheek. “See, you felt that right?” you ask worriedly.

“The problem isn’t what I feel for you, it’s what you feel for me.”

“Problem?” you ask. “Why?! Why can’t I love you?”

It was the first time you said it out loud, on the verge of tears, throat tight and body shaking. Just like the first time he found you.

“Do you think because you didn’t find love before you died, you do not deserve love ever?” you ask accusingly. “Is that what you think, is that what you want?”

“I can’t give you anything, just like you said, I’m dead, y/n.”

“Then I’ll die too-”

“NO.”

It was his last word to you, bellowing loudly, turning into only a whisper in the wind.

Jin was gone, and he refused to come back.

---

“It’s you!” Jimin finds you at the beach, reading.

“Hey,” you wave.

“What’s up? Is everything okay?” Jimin asks.

“No, but it could be worse,” you laugh hollowly.

“Fair,” he nods. “How about we get some ice cream, because it could always get better,” he smiles.

Ice cream with a stranger, it wasn’t something you normally agreed to, at least not while sober. But you decided to try something new.

You tried with Jimin, you really did try to forget Jin.

Your nights were sleepless, watching Jimin sleep soundly next to you. You worked remotely, stayed on the beach, hoping Jin would show up again. It was becoming hard again to smile, to laugh. You had to force yourself to be happy. One night, you wake up drenched in sweat.

“Who’s Jin?”

“What?”

“You call out to him sometimes, while you’re asleep. Should I be worried?” he laughs nervously.

“No,” you kiss Jimin, “He’s just a ghost now.”

Days go by and it never gets any easier.

“Back to the city?” Jimin asks, hiding his sadness behind a warm smile.

“Yeah,” you say, “Wish I could stay in paradise forever, but you know, gotta go back eventually.”

“There’s nothing I can do to convince you to stay?”

“I’m sorry...you have my number, visit the city one day!” you call out to him, waving goodbye.

When you arrived back to the city, you did not go home. Instead, you went to the park.

You watched the bridge from a distance. You were too scared to go to the bridge, scared if you went there and did not find Jin then you really had nothing to live for.

“Jin?” you whisper and only the wind answers.

---

You liked to walk around the park at night. It wasn’t like you were actively trying to kill yourself, but if you just so happened to run into a murderer, it wouldn’t have bothered you all that much.

You couldn’t sleep, you were so used to sleeping next to someone, you rather be walking an empty park alone at night like a zombie than venture into your empty apartment, lie down in your cold bed and pretend you didn’t hate how you felt. Walking this way also tired you out. You walked until you could barely keep your eyes open, to go home and pass out on the couch.

You pass by a small tuxedo cat on your, was it sixth or seventh lap? ‘Maybe I should adopt a cat,’ you think, stopping to pet the handsome feline, to keep you company. “Kitty, do you want to go home with me?” you muse as he taps his head into your hand, looking for more pets. “Pss pss, c'mon,” you try to egg him along to follow you, as you walk down the sidewalk toward home.

You were preoccupied. However, in retrospect, even if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have been able to move out of the way of the speeding car in time.

“Y/n!”

You fall backwards from an otherwordly pull, a car horn blaring at the pair of you as a convertible veers and speeds passed you.

“Jin,” you breathe out, throwing your arms over the frightened ghost. “You’re back!” you cry out.

Jin held you close, smiling to himself. “I never left you,” he whispers into your hair. “How could I?” Jin watched over you, kept you safe at night, made sure all the reckless actions you took did not end up hurting you. He was always there, even when it hurt him, especially when it hurt him to see what you were doing, because he would do anything for you.

When you turn around, it was not only Jin who appeared before you.

“Ahh!”

“What the hell is that thing?” you scream, pointing and gawking at the hooded black figure behind Jin.

“I don’t know! Oh my god, a g-ghost!”

“You’re a ghost, Jin.”

“Ahh! Jesus-”

“Nope, not him,” the cloaked figure finally speaks. He removes the hood over his head, undoing the billowing material to reveal a sleek black suit underneath. He stands taller than even Jin, white silver hair styled back, showing off his sharp jawline and cunning eyes.

“Ahhh!”

“Shh!” you try to quiet Jin.

“Relax-”

“RELAX?!” he yells at the scary man, eyeing the large scythe he holds in his left hand.

“Oh!” He twirls the large weapon until it shrinks and distorts itself smaller and smaller, turning into a single black rose, and pockets it in his front breast pocket.

Your legs wobble, a ghost was one thing, but… “You’re-”

“I have many names,” he smirks. “Reaper, Soul Collector, Grim, The Gardener, Death.”

“What do you want?!” Jin yells, stepping between you and Death.

You admire the courage Jin’s showing, his voice does not waiver, even though his hands shake holding yours.

Death puffs out his chest, preparing himself. “Kim Seokjin, it’s your time to come with me. Now. You’ve done enough damage,” he folds his arms.

“D-Damage?” you ask, peeking behind Jin’s back.

“You’ve interfered with the course of this woman’s life three times.” Death says. “You must stop.” You listen, wide eyed.

Jin shivers, “No! And I will do it again if it means she’s safe, every time-”

“Your time is no longer,” he bellows. “Just c’mon, man.”

“No…I won’t leave her.” he turns to you, “I promise.”

“J-Jin?” you stand stunned.

“You will come with me, there is only one choice to make. The outcome will change depending on if you go willingly or not.”

“Don’t threaten him,” you yell, surprising yourself. “Please?”

Jin turns around, “Y/n…” he whispers, cupping your cheek, “Run!” and he runs away, pulling you along with him.

“You can’t outrun death, you know that right? Not in the metaphorical sense and definitely not on foot,” Death yells, annoyed at the both of you.

“Jin-” you wheeze, “-stop.” You, unlike your ghost friend, have bodily limits. And you are no trackstar.

“Get on my back-”

“Why did you go?” you ask, tugging on his arm, tears welling up at the sight of him. “Why did you leave me?”

Jin did not have time to answer you, he instead pulled you close, kissing you. It was your first kiss with Jin, deep and insistent, and it was in the face of certain death.

Shadows appeared, darker than the night, wing-shaped and growing. Reaching over you, the shadows enveloped you both in suffocating darkness.

“I will give you one last chance, come willingly, save yourself this one time, Seokjin.” Death tries to reason with the frantic ghost.

“I was saved, by her.”

“Jin, please, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

No, it felt wrong. He did not want to. He was perfectly content with watching over you for the rest of your life. “I can’t leave you. There has to be a reason we-”

“There was,” Death interjects, “Her destiny was to help you move on, Seokjin. You, involving yourself in her life instead was not part of the design.”

“I don’t believe you. Is the design so flawed or are you just wrong about the design?!”

Death has had enough. “If you don’t come with me, I will take her soul instead, you will not have a way to cross over and then your souls will never met again.”

“Jin you can’t stay here, you’re meant to move on,” you say softly.

“No, no. He’s wrong. I love you.”

“I know, I know.” You hug him close, eyeing the being over his shoulder. He stares back at you with an unreadable expression. “Reaper, I love him.”

He ticks his jaw. “My only concern are with souls, not love. It’s you or him.”

“This is not goodbye,” Jin reassures you. Seeing Jin again, hearing him profess his love. It was everything you wanted to hear, everything you wished Jin felt for you.

You could let him go now.

---

You sit on the bridge amongst its decaying flowers as the sun sets.

Everything dies eventually, everything goes away.

You walk over the bridge to the other side, holding a potted plant of white roses, new buds still forming. You place the pot in a small patch of grass for Jin. he deserves flowers that will last.

“I love you.”

Tonight you’ll catch a movie with friends, talk on the phone with Jimin, and try to cook a new recipe. Tonight you will wait for Jin in your dreams, the only place he existed now.

Some nights you still stayed up restless, worried about your ex, nightmares dimming yet never completely going away. You did not have Jin anymore, but you were more courageous than you first believed. And you faced Death, which was much scarier anyways.

You pull off your shoes and set the candy you did not finish on the counter, turning the lights on. It’s cold, it’s empty. Nothing has changed, yet everything has.

You could have sworn you heard a tiny trill of a cat echoing in your living room.

“Hello?” you whisper.

“Hey, y/n.”

“Jin, how?” Your tears flow freely.

Jin smiles wide. He wore a suit like Death, instead of black, it was brilliant white.

“Old habits die hard. Figuratively speaking, I couldn’t die twice.”

“Death let you go?”

“I made sort of a deal.”

“Jin no! Oh no, you made a deal with the Devil, didn’t you?”

“No no! Not the devil, though, it was tempting, definitely,” he laughs. “It turns out free will is a very powerful gift. Even in the afterlife, contrary to what Death wants to believe. Y/n” he smiles, moving closer. “Falling in love again was not part of the design, I found out your soul was destined to end that night. I should have never been able to save you. Like I said!” he clears his throat looking over his shoulder to nowhere in particular.

“Our souls should have never bonded, and yet somehow, I feel like I was always supposed to save you? I don’t have all the answers, just a feeling so sure even the heavens couldn't stop me from choosing you.” He looks at your eyes, your lips, every part of your face he loves so much, with adoration and tenderness in his eyes.

“There was a stipulation.”

“What do you mean?”

“Check this out,” he winks. Long feathers, whiter than white, appear from either side of Jin’s wide shoulders.

“I am your guardian angel. I think I was always supposed to be.”

“I...should book another appointment with my therapist.”

“As your guardian angel I highly recommend it.”

You laugh whole heartedly, unable to contain your happiness.

“Also, someone, that is not Death, must really be rooting for us, because I have another thing-” Jin steps closer with each word, until Jin is pressed up against you firmly. Seokjin’s solid and warm. His wings are no longer visible. He cocks an eyebrow towards your side, head nodding at your wall mirror, the reflection of you both in the mirror.

You run your palm up his chest, unable to form words of the happiness you feel.

“So do you think kissing you would be sacrilegious?”

“I think, in this case, we don’t have to worry about that.” he winks. “Trust me?”

“With my life.”

You fell in love with a man whose soul was lost. You loved a ghost, you loved a memory. And then with work, you learned to love yourself.

The beginning.

---

Author is going through it yall. With Yoongi’s and Jimin’s stories I was just angry at everything and everyone…now I’m just…deeply sad at how we all ended up here. Anyways, I honestly can’t believe I was able to finish a story tbh. Let me know what you think please! Who was Reaper? <3

Spring Fling Masterlist

#ilu jj #also this helped me catch spelling errors 🤣🤣#daydreamer-bae #justice for jin give this man more lovin

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