drekkavacarc

[drekkavacarc]

like this post to be followed on the new blog.

[drekkavacarc]

I've   been   thinking   about   this   for   the   last   week   ,   &   I'm   thinking   this   will   be   the   best   option.   I'm   going   to   be   moving   to   a   fresh   blog   for   Anya   over   the   next   couple   days.   Things   are   just   cluttered   here   ,   &   I   think   a   fresh   start   might   be   best.   I   will   also   be   dropping   everything   &   starting   fresh   ,   unless   something   pops   out   that   I   wanna   keep.   I   wanna   get   the   drive   to   write   my   girl   again   ,   so   we   are   gonna   try   a   nice   fresh   new   blog   to   see   if   that   helps.

[drekkavacarc]

Gentle Care

Taking care of them...

"Hey, it's okay. Show me?"

"What did they do to you?"

"Don't cry - I've got you."

"That's okay - get it all out."

"Deep breath, I have you."

"Sh, sh, I'm going to patch you up."

"I've got a bandage for you."

"This is going to sting, but we have to clean this."

"Oh - okay - we're hugging about this, okay."

"It'll all feel better in the morning."

"I can't believe someone would do this to you..."

"I'm going to protect you."

"Get some rest. I'm not going anywhere."

"You're safe now."

"I'm just going to wipe your face."

"When's the last time you cried like this?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, I promise."

"One day, you'll be okay. For now? It's okay to hurt."

"You want a hug?"

"I've got a blanket for you."

"Nice and cosy..."

"It's okay if you fall asleep."

"Just get some rest. You need it."

"Hey, I made you food."

"I know it's easy to forget to eat when you feel like this."

"You don't need to feel guilty."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Do you want a hot chocolate?"

"There's nothing better than a toasted marshmallow."

"Just hold onto me. There we go."

[drekkavacarc]

@lawhurt   said:   ❝   ahh,   so   you   are   taking   pity   on   me,   then?   ❞

          ❝Trust   me   ,   I'm   the   last   one   who's   gonna   pity   anyone.❞   Anya   wasn't   built   to   pity   people.   That   wouldn't   make   her   an   obedient   weapon   when   they   needed   her   to   be.   For   so   long   that   even   now   it   was   hard   for   them   to   feel   it   even   now.   Not   only   that   ,   but   pity   didn't   do   anything   for   anyone   in   the   moment.   At   least   not   the   people   who   she   found   herself   being   around   most   of   the   time.   More   a   level   of   trying   to   understand   him.   She   didn't   know   a   lot   of   what   he   had   experienced   ,   but   she   did   know   what   it   was   like   to   feel   the   sting   of   disappointment   ,   all   for   being   exactly   what   you   were   made   to   be.   She   shrugged   her   shoulders   some.   ❝I   get   it   though.   Trying   &   failing   to   be   what   people   want   you   t'be.❞

[drekkavacarc]

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃   &   𝐖𝐈𝐑𝐄   𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐏!

I'm   going   to   be   kinda   selective   about   this   ,   but   I   wanna   give   people   a   way   to   write   with   Anya   if   they   want   while   Tumblr   is   BROKE.   Above   are   both   my   discord   &   my   wire   account   for   Anya.   These   are   open   for   mutuals   of   mine   (   you   must   have   a   way   for   me   to   know   it's   you   before   I   accept   the   friend   request   )   for   both   plotting   a   paragraph   style   rp   ,   &   just   general   chatting   …   &   wire   is   available   for   more   sms   style   rp.   I   will   be   doing   this   at   least   through   Tumblr   being   broke   ,   so   there's   still   a   way   to   write   with   one   of   my   muses.

[drekkavacarc]

I   run   out   of   lies   ,   I   run   out   of   new   moons.   Road   runner.   Pray   ,   pray   ,   I   said   a   prayer   twice.   For   both   my   faces   ,   it's   a   flip   of   the   coin.   Silver   dollar.   Lord   knows   I   tried   ,   Lord   knows   I   tried.

[drekkavacarc]

i'm just gonna say this now , if you have any issues with what i write , now is a perfect time to hit that unfollow button. anya is not an easy person to get a long with , & often times goes on the attack in many facets of her life. if that bothers you , please kindly do us both a favor & block me.

[drekkavacarc]

          Her   mind   was   running   trying   to   decide   what   to   pick   first.   Looking   just   like   a   child   on   Christmas   morning   ,   trying   to   decide   which   one   to   open   first.   They   weren't   fortunate   to   have   the   opportunity   to   be   in   one   place   long   enough   to   have   a   garden   where   they   set   up.   She   was   happy   to   take   the   opportunity   to   enjoy   them   while   they   could   though.   They   hardly   waited   for   their   dad   to   give   the   go   ahead   to   harvest   half   of   what   was   there   before   she   was   quickly   making   room   in   her   pack   for   the   fresh   produce.   If   you   looked   at   the   teenager   looking   over   the   veggies   like   they   were   in   a   candy   shop   ,   you'd   think   she'd   never   seen   any   of   this   in   her   life.   Not   too   far   from   the   truth.   But   it   had   been   so   sparse   &   few   between   that   they   were   more   than   eager   for   the   opportunity.   It   was   smart   to   leave   half.   If   nobody   seem   to   come   back   for   them   ,   they   likely   lucked   out.   If   they   did…It   could   mean   a   number   of   things.

          When   Anya   glanced   over   her   shoulder   ,   she   noted   the   look   on   her   dad's   face.   They   knew   that   look   fairly   well.   He   was   always   vigilant   ,   but   she'd   learned   by   now   to   make   sure   there   wasn't   something   to   be   worried   about.   Better   to   be   safe   than   sorry.   ❝Doesn't   look   like   the   house.❞   She   mused   ,   letting   the   logic   flow   through   her   mind   while   looking   around   the   garden   a   little   more.   Rolling   her   lips   somewhat   in   thought   before   turning   to   look   back   at   her   father.   ❝You   don't   think   this   is   some   sort   of   trap   do   you   think?❞   Hopefully   it   would   just   be   some   luck   they   had   stumbled   upon   ,   but   they   weren't   known   for   being   particularly   lucky   very   often.   The   thought   caused   her   to   take   another   look   around   the   garden   ,   &   then   down   to   the   peppers   she   was   putting   in   her   pack.

@drekkavac

Bucky was used to surviving on canned food, protein shakes, and MREs, and that was a good day in HYDRA. It made him, once again, uniquely suited for surviving an apocalypse. He didn't think about food the way most people did, as merely enough calories and nutrients to keep his body functioning and little else. But he did have memories, a lifetime ago, of times when it used to matter more, of helping his ma or Steve's in the kitchen, of happily licking the excess batter from an empty mixing bowl or sneaking Christmas cookies while they were still hot, of hot dogs at Coney Island and warm bowls of soup on chilly winter nights. He'd have loved to give those same happy memories to his kids, but that never seemed to be in the cards for the Barnes family.

"It's a beauty." It broke his heart a little, how excited she was to see fresh vegetables. In an ideal world, they would have had their own garden behind their house, and they would have had good food like that every day of their lives. He swiftly packed away the regret and the nostalgia for a life that had never happened, his eyes sweeping the surroundings again with renewed interest. "Someone's been taking care of it," he said quietly. "Leave half of everything, just in case. We can keep an eye on it from a distance to see if they come back." The lack of walkers in the house or the garden was proof enough the caretaker hadn't died there, but that didn't mean they wouldn't be back for it. It didn't look lived in though, which was strange. He didn't like what he didn't understand.

[drekkavacarc]

Since   it's   spicy!sunday   ,   we'll   take   the   opportunity   to   list   off   some   spicy   headcanons   for   anya   …

they're   a   biter.

they're   a   scratcher

isn't   concerned   about   the   location   if   you   know   what   i   mean.

prefers   a   bit   of   athletic   foreplay.

[drekkavacarc]

          Brows   arch   &   head   tilts   at   her   comment.   Anya's   never   been   one   for   cryptic   words   or   riddles   ,   &   she   certainly   isn't   in   the   mood   for   it   now.   There's   a   look   of   incredulousness   in   their   eyes   ,   as   they   turn   to   face   them   more   fully.   ❝&   what's   that   supposed   t'mean.   What   exactly   am   I   lying   about?❞

@drekkavac liked for a canon dialogue starter.

RIO STUDIES THE SHARP POINTS of black-lacquered nails turned back at herself. a brow lifts, interest scarcely skimming the curl of it. " well, you're only lying to yourself. "

[drekkavacarc]

Mobile for the night. Catch me on discord till I pass out. Much love everyone!

[drekkavacarc]

          Army   brat   was   hardly   what   she   was   ,   but   it   was   something   she   could   run   with.   Pausing   for   a   moment   ,   she   nodded   with   a   brief   but   polite   smile   when   she   glanced   at   him.   She   would   have   given   anything   to   even   SLIGHTLY   know   what   living   in   a   home   like   this   for   so   long   might   have   felt   like.

          A   form   of   culture   shock   sneaking   up   on   her   in   a   way   she   hadn't   expecting   ,   catching   her   off   guard   for   a   couple   seconds   before   they   shook   it   away   again   to   RETURN   to   the   conversation.

          When   she   did   return   to   the   conversation   ,   she   was   greeted   with   a   rather   COMICAL   mental   image   of   what   she   was   left   to   assume   any   cowboy   felt   about   Brooklyn.   The   problem   was   ,   in   some   places   he   wasn't   wrong.   Against   her   normal   state   of   being   ,   she   allowed   herself   to   chuckle   at   what   he   said   ,   before   nodding   a   couple   times   while   looking   at   her   feet   as   they   walked   along   the   gravel.

          ❝If   you   find   yourself   in   the   right   parts   of   town   you're   not   too   far   off.❞   She   affirmed   ,   though   she   had   a   feeling   it   would   only   be   affirming   his   desire   not   to   go   there.   ❝Part   of   the   reason   why   I   hit   the   road.❞   That   next   part   brought   back    another   mumbled   statement.   That   &   it   being   too   dangerous   to   stay   there   &   not   get   dragged   back   to   that   place.   One   thing   she   was   DEFINITELY   certain   about   was   that   she   was   never   going   back   to   that   place.

          Which   happened   to   line   up   with   the   next   question   he   had   for   her.   She   wasn't   going   back   to   Brooklyn   ,   but   she   ALSO   wasn't   about   to   go   blabbing   to   someone   she   didn't   know   as   to   why.   The   last   thing   she   needed   was   someone   out   in   bum   fuck   nowhere   starting   to   think   they   could   turn   her   in.   But   she   also   didn't   know   that   being   STRANDED   out   here   was   a   good   option   either.   His   assessment   of   her   truck   pulled   yet   another   sigh   from   her   ,   as   they   slowed   their   steps   to   a   stop   for   a   moment   ,   before   shrugging   their   shoulders.

          ❝I'm   definitely   not   goin   back   t'that   FUCKIN   place.❞   She   started   with.   Eyes   looking   around   the   property   some.   ❝As   far   as   passed   that   ,   won't   really   know   that   until   I   figure   out   what   my   options   are.❞

@drekkavac - [Anya Barnes]

"ARMY BRAT, huh? Can't say I know what that's like," he scoffed softly, "lived on this ranch 'til I was seventeen. Left t' join th' Navy fresh outta high school..."

The mention of that specific time in his life, and how deeply rooted his ESTRANGED WIFE AND SON were in that time in his life, left a sting in his heart that sort of stole the breath from him for a moment. He cleared his throat somewhat, his gaze falling briefly before he turned his head to look at her.

"Only idea I got of BROOKLYN is 'Goodfellas'," he admitted to them. "Honestly, I don't know if I could be there too long without wantin' t' PULL MY HAIR OUT." He shook his head a bit. "Hell, I can't even stand bein' in WHITEFISH for too long."

While Kayce had been a little bit of everywhere when it came to GLOBALLY, he'd tended to stick to a few centralized areas in the United States. Out of those few places, NEW YORK definitely wasn't one of them. Being in any city was harsh enough on his nerves, being in one of the most PROLIFIC CITIES IN THE COUNTRY...it was a recipe for disaster when taking his stress responses into account. The problem wasn't that the overwhelm caused him to go WILD, it was that it placed him right back in those mountains, or on those shores, or in those jungles...with chaos erupting all around him. It forced him to put blinders on, narrowing his perception down to his current task and ELIMINATING anything that stood in the way of him COMPLETING THAT TASK.

Or, to put it simply; outbursts of anger, with the laser focus and concentration to be a real DANGER when pushed too far.

So no...he'd never found an occasion to see BROOKLYN.

"You gonna be headin' back there, then? T' Brooklyn?" It was a fairly casual ask. "'Cause if THAT'S your plan, I sure hope you got another car in mind. Even after I get your clunker runnin', I can't promise ya how many miles she'll have left in 'er. I'm a cowboy, not a miracle worker."

[drekkavacarc]

i've    caught    up    on    asks    &    cleaned    out    my    threads    of    threads    that    had    no    plotting    behind    them.    the    ask    box    is    now    open    for    prompts    again.

[drekkavacarc]

          Anya   knew   more   ways   to   kill   a   man   than   she   did   appropriate   topics   of   conversation.   Getting   by   with   as   little   interaction   with   people   as   possible   had   been   the   way   they   functioned   most   of   the   time.   In   the   time   since   she   had   met   Kayce   ,   she   had   spoken   MORE   than   she   had   the   entire   time   they   drove   across   the   country.   Which   happened   to   be   the   leading   cause   to   the   reason   their   shoulders   were   tensed   ,   with   their   hands   shoved   into   their   jacket   pocket.

          All   this   to   say   ,   she   acted   no   different   than   any   young   woman   MIGHT   when   in   a   place   they   had   never   been   before.   So   far   ,   that   story   all   added   up.   A   story   Anya   was   confident   they   could   keep   up   ,   so   long   as   they   were   careful   about   how   they   answered   questions.

          ❝Well   ,   at   the   very   least   it'll   feel   like   home.   Tense   meals   were   what   I   was   brought   up   on   basically.❞   Her   tone   that   time   WAS   more   of   an   embarrassed   mumble.   Definitely   not   a   lie   ,   but   nobody   who   knew   the   truth   would   call   where   she   consumed   her   childhood   meals   a   family   dining   room.   She   caught   that   he   was   heading   for   the   house   ,   &   hopped   into   a   leisurely   pace   to   match   his   toward   the   house.

          She   looked   at   Kayce   when   he   brought   up   her   earlier   comment.   Causing   her   to   glance   QUICKLY   ,   before   a   shrug   following   while   she   thought   of   her   response.   ❝Brooklyn.❞   She   fed   the   answer   once   she   had   the   opportunity.   While   she   had   only   been   in   Brooklyn   for   a   brief   time   ,   it   was   a   place   she   heard   ENOUGH   about   to   get   by.   Uncultured   or   not   ,   she   HAD   been   taught   enough   to   deceive   where   they   needed   them   to.   Basic   acting   was   simply   part   of   how   they   survived   this   long.   ❝My   uh   ,   my   dad   was   in   the   army   ,   so   we   moved   around   a   lot.❞

@drekkavac - [Anya Barnes]

By this point, anything that Kayce came to know about Ana was more out of HIS OWN CURIOSITY, rather than under the duress of gathering information surrounding another potential ENEMY. When Kayce was trying to warn Ana about what may or may not happen during the upcoming meal, it was out of a desire to offer a GENUINE CURTESY to them. For all he knew, when it came to actually sitting down at the table all at once, he and Ana might only be joined by his father and sister.

"Don't worry," came his reassurance to Ana as a means of making them feel a little less uncomfortable in the environment that they weren't too familiar with, "table hasn't been full in twenty years, probably won't have t' be too social at all, if you don't want to."

Hell, it was almost ASSURED that Beth wouldn't get through the entire meal without either excusing herself or being MADE TO excuse herself after causing a ruckus and being given and being given an EXPECTANT GLANCE from the Dutton Patriarch himself.

So really...he mostly just had to worry about explaining to his dad. John wasn't an UNREASONABLE man, most of the time, and if there was one thing that the older man was likely to sympathize with, it was feeling the pull to HELP PEOPLE THAT NEEDED IT. And right now, that was who Ana was.

"Ya might have t' loiter in th' livin' room a minute, 'cause I WILL have t' grab Gator an' let 'im know t' go Kosher for ya," he turned somewhat on his heel but didn't start moving forward until he was sure that Ana was following him.

"So...ya said CROSS-COUNTRY," Kayce mused, mostly making conversation, "which explains th' NEW YORK LICENSE PLATE, an' ya said you've been a little bit 'a everywhere 'round th' world, too. Just like livin' like a nomad?" He hoped that he wasn't overstepping with anything, but it still felt like he was missing some CRUCIAL PIECES to who they were and how they had wound up there.

There was almost a FAMILIARITY to them.

[drekkavacarc]

INBOX   IS   FINALLY   EMPTY   &   QUEUED   FAM!!!   Took   a   few   days   ,   &   some   asks   got   deleted   for   my   sanity   ,   but   we   have   a   bit   of   a   queue   to   start   with.   I'm   going   to   hold   off   on   starting   the   queue   just   yet   till   I   get   some   drafts   in   there.   I'm   not   certain   yet   that   I   wanna   purge   my   threads   yet   ,   but   I   might   go   through   &   see   what   all   has   remained   active.   Odds   are   most   things   will   be   staying   in   the   tracker.   Thank   you   for   everyone's   patience   while   I   play   catch   up   comin   back   from   the   hiatus.   Much   love   to   all   my   mutuals!

[drekkavacarc]

 ive  never  understood  where  the  line  is  drawn  between  self-sacrifice  and  self-slaugter.

#WARUINS 

an  independent,  highly  selective  and  private  original  special  forces  combat  medic  SFC  GLORIA  DE  LIMA.  established  in  2019,  reworked  several  times,  and  now  returns  to  her  original  telling.  this  blog  features  trigger  themes  about  war  and  its  aftermath  as  well  as  other  mature  subject  matter.  please  DNI  under  21. 

ENLISTED  BY  BLAIR.  SHE/HER  25+

[drekkavacarc]

          She   was   already   feeling   like   enough   of   a   fool   before   she   heard   Kayce.   At   the   very   leas   it   DID   make   her   feel   better   that   she   hadn't   started   swearing   in   place   where   that   would   have   been   her   first   strike.   She   hadn't   filtered   herself   in   some   time   ,   but   she   also   noticed   the   longer   she   was   in   this   state   ,   the   more   she   didn't   fit   in   with   a   certain   demographic   of   people   that   lived   here.   While   she   was   sure   her   dad   would   have   likely   asked   what   THE   FUCK   they   had   done   to   the   poor   thing   ,   she   felt   better   than   her   verbage   wasn't   completely   out   of   the   ordinary.

          ❝Yeah   uh   ,   turns   out   trucks   from   the   90's   aren't   as   good   at   cross   country   trips   anymore.❞   A   horrible   attempt   at   a   joke   ,   which   was   evident   in   the   way   Anya   shook   their   head   and   stepped   closer   to   the   hood   of   the   car.   A   sigh   left   them   when   he   mentioned   that   it   might   be   a   while   before   it   was   in   working   order.   The   location   being   the   main   factor   in   the   annoyance.

          It   was   over   an   hour   in   town   from   the   ranch.   A   factor   they   took   into   consideration   before   looking   around   the   property   while   nodding.   Staying   in   one   place   for   too   long   made   her   PLENTY   nervous   ,   but   this   could   potentially   be   far   enough   away   from   the   city   that   they   could   even   start   locating   their   family.   Dinner   had   to   come   first.   A   whole   other   battlefield   causing   them   plenty   of   anxiety.

          Family   dinner   wasn't   quite   what   most   families   were   for   Anya.   Being   on   the   run   made   it   hard   to   have   much   of   a   dinner   table   ,   or   dinner   for   that   matter.   Her   head   turned   to   look   at   the   lodge   ,   taking   a   moment   to   really   let   the   place   sink   in.   She   couldn't   say   she'd   seen   ANYTHING   like   it.   If   log   cabins   could   be   considered   castles   ,   she   was   pretty   sure   she   was   looking   at   one   right   in   front   of   her.   ❝Pretty   sure   if   ya   live   in   a   house   like   this   you   can   march   t'as   many   beats   as   you   fuckin   want.❞   She   mused   as   she   MARVELED   at   the   house   a   moment   longer   before   attention   came   back   to   Kayce.   ❝Never   had   much   of   a   house   t'have   family   dinners   at.❞   She   commented   with   a   bit   of   a   shrug.

@drekkavac - [Anya Barnes]

When Ana had brought up the state of their truck, Kayce had actually thought that she had just been JOKING. It was difficult for him to tell at times with strangers, whether or not people were being serious. Just to be safe though, his eyes had frequently checked his REARVIEW MIRROR, keeping an eye both on how Ana's truck was driving, as well as the way in which Ana herself was driving.

It was INNOCUOUS enough to have someone following behind him so that they didn't get lost on the way to the ranch. Kayce continued to move down his mental check list though, noting that this was another chance for Ana to CAUSE HIM HARM if that was an actual danger. The closer he got to their destination, the more his mind was shifting once more. The very last nefarious motivation that rested on the docket of possibilities, was that she was waiting to get to the ranch, so that she could cause the maximum amount of damage.

He didn't ENJOY having to think this way...but something told him that Ana was having a similar dilemma in their own train of thought. At least, if they were actually on the up and up.

Actually arriving though, told Kayce that the story about the truck was almost CERTAINLY TRUE.

One glance over at the other vehicle had the former SEAL up and out of his own truck. He was already taking his jacket off and as soon as he was close enough to Ana's truck, he was using the article of clothing as an impromptu fan to disperse some of the smoke.

"Christ on a fuckin' CRUTCH," Kayce marveled with an expletive that was mostly under his breath. His eyes narrowed as he moved to pop the hood, using the jacket in earnest then. A small cough bubbled out of him before he spoke once more, this time directly to Ana.

"Shit, ya weren't lyin' 'bout this JALOPY," he huffed and shook his head. "I've got a few guys here that could take a look at it, but I dunno about gettin' it int' workin' shape so quick."

He put his jacket back on before removing his hat briefly, just so he could push the hair back and further away from his face. After slipping the hat back on, his attention moved to the Hands. His first instinct had been to see what RIP THOUGHT, in terms of people that could be spared for such a task. Upon a little bit further consideration though, he reminded himself that he was in charge.

"On second thought...I could probably take a look at it after dinner." This way, there was no need to reallocate on the spot.

"Speakin' 'a which...I dunno what kind 'a family dinners you might be used to, but uh-..." Kayce looked towards where the Lodge was. "my family marches to about five different drums at once, sometimes. Just thought I'd give ya fair warnin'."