#ill try to find better dividers later

[theereina]

Bad News Pt. 2

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC "Bella"

Wordcount: +1.4K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, no smut, heavily dialogue-centered, mental health mentioned (anxiety), *emotional distress*, angst, heartbreak, chronic illnesses mentioned, health conditions mentioned (c*ncer, PCOS, endometriosis), infertility, slight verbal ab*se

A/N¹: Remember, I just got back into writing. I'm open to critiques, but I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by @firefly-graphics. Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

A/N²: I am not a medical doctor. Please, forgive me if my knowledge of any of the mentioned medical conditions is incorrect.

Bad News Pt. 1=> 😢

Walking into the room, my heart was crushed even further. All of the feelings I wish I could explain; I couldn't. Terry and his bags were gone. I hadn't even heard him leave. He didn't even care enough to at least say goodbye. After all these years, I wasn't worth a goodbye. Two seconds just solidified that this relationship wasn't worth any more of my energy.

I couldn't understand it. How did we get here? Had he always been like this? Was I that blind? I guess I was so busy trying to find love that I forgot the most important rule— love wasn't supposed to hurt. Then again, every version of love I've experienced was painful, manipulative, abusive, and damaging. So, maybe I found what I was familiar with. I mean, why else would I be so comfortable putting up with this?

But, what do I do now?

*2 hours later

The room was covered in crumpled and torn pieces of notebook paper. I have tried and tried to write this letter. My hands were stiff, and my head was throbbing. I just wanted him to know how I felt because my mind was already made up. I'm done, and this is over.

If he would've just listened, we wouldn't be in this predicament. If he hadn't said those words, there would still be hope in my eyes and love in my heart.

Better yet, fuck this and fuck him. He doesn't deserve a letter. This doesn't concern him anymore. I've already changed my flight for tomorrow morning. I leave on the first flight out. Since I no longer have anything to say to him, there is no need to wait. I can return to the West Coast and be at home with my Godmother and Godsister when I receive the news.

*The next day

“I will never like flying’. I don't care!” I said stepping out of the bathroom after showering. I was dressed in a pair of sweats and a plain black T-shirt. I had wrapped a scarf around my head to protect my hair during my shower.

My Godsister, Shante, was waiting for me. She was relaxed on the bed with her back against the headboard. Her satin black bonnet and black fluffy robe made her look so much like her grandmother. “What?” she asked turning her head towards me. “You look like Nana Elsie!” I laughed into my hand. “Shut up!” she said slinging one of the pillows at me.

I walked to the bed and sat on the edge closest to me. I was tired. I knew why she was in here. She wanted to make sure I was okay. Honestly, I wasn't. My life was shit right now. Leaving Terry was just another stab to the heart. All I could do was pray to God that I didn't lose anymore. I couldn't possibly see myself being any lower than this.

“You wanna talk?” Shante asked rolling on her side facing my back. “Not really, I just wanna wait until they call,” I said solemnly. My shoulders were beginning to feel heavy again. I didn't want to think about what the doctor would say. I already knew this day was coming.

After years of medical neglect and misdiagnoses, I was finally given a proper diagnosis of both endometriosis and PCOS. I had been ignored for years when I complained of a forever-growing mountain of signs that something was wrong. I was told to “lose weight” to alleviate my symptoms. When I lost the weight, nothing changed. Some symptoms even seemed to get worse.

I had grown tired of all the referrals and guesses. I had explained to my original primary care physician years ago that I suspected that I had PCOS. It was dismissed as anxiety and medical hysteria. I tried again with three other physicians to be met with the same fate— try to lose weight, take this metformin, exercise daily, change your diet, etc.

This could have been treated years ago if someone would have just listened.

*3 hours later

I was in the kitchen eating when my cell phone rang. I picked it up thinking it was the call I had been dreading. I was eager to get this over with. Just say it, and let's move on.

“Hello, this is Bella,” I mumbled into the phone. I was on the edge again. Trying my hardest to breathe and stay calm. “Bell, where are you?” asked Terry. “Terry?” I asked pulling the phone away from my ear and looking at it. Fuck! Why didn't I look before answering? Why didn't I block him?

“Bella, I'm s—,” he started to speak before I interrupted him. “Save it. I… I don't care anymore,” I said through tears. “Bells, I was—,” he started again. “No,” I said sobbing into the phone. “Could you just—!” he yelled into the phone. That was it. I didn't have to deal with this. I hung up the phone and laid it on the table in front of me.

Pushing the plate away, I laid across my arms crying with my head down. My Godmother and Godsister were both gone to work. That left me alone once again with my emotions— all of them.

ring ring ring

Not again. I picked up the phone in anger. “I don't want to talk to you!” I screamed into the phone. “Isabella? It's Dr. Moore. We need to speak about scheduling your surgery immediately,” he said in a startled tone. “I'm sorry, Dr. Moore. I'm having a…,” I said taking a deep breath. “I can call back if—,” he said. “No!” I blurted out. “Sorry. Please, tell me now,” I whimpered. I was flying between emotions faster than my body could manage.

“Well, honey. I'm sorry to bring you such bad news at this time, but we're going to need to remove your left ovary. The cysts were quite large, and… Unfortunately, the biopsy indicated they were cancerous. The safest option is to remove the affected ovary and all endometriosis deposits. Later on, we can discuss any further changes,” he said. “Changes?” I questioned while sniffling. “If it progresses any further, we may have to perform a hysterectomy.” Dr. Moore continued to talk, but I had dissociated from the conversation. This was it.

My mind was overflowing with questions. Will I be able to have kids? Would this even get rid of the cancer? If it did, would it come back? Would life ever be normal for me?

I don't know. I'll probably never know.

*Later in the day

ring ring ring

Hours had passed since the call ended. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to think. I had planned my whole life around me and Terry's relationship— kids, a house, a minivan, a dog, all of it. Now, everything was gone. Maybe my mother was right, I am cursed.

ring ring ring

“Who is it?” I sobbed into the phone. “It's me, Bella. Baby, can you please just listen to me?” Terry pleaded over the phone. “Why, huh? What’s there to listen to? You said everything you needed to say,” I yelled. All of my feelings were being overshadowed by my anger.

“I didn't mean it, Bella. That wasn't supposed to happen. I love you. You know that!” Terry yelled. “I don't know that, Terry. If you loved me, you wouldn't have said it. You meant it with all your fucking heart. You stood on it when you left without saying a word. No goodbye. No sorry. Nothing. That's not love,” I blurted out. I was beyond tired of holding my tongue. “Stop being so fuckin' childish right now and use your brain. You're always so damn emoti—,” he said cutting himself off. “Nah, say it! I'm too fucking emotional, huh? Ain't that right, Terry?” I screamed again. Tears were streaming down my face falling onto the kitchen table.

“I’m always sick, and… and I'm… I'm always emotional. That's what you… that's what you said, right? THEN, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WITH ME?!” I screamed as loud as I could. I threw the phone across the room. It hit the wall and shattered. Good. No more phone calls. No more doctors. No more — Terry.

Taglist: @avoidthings @brattyfics @slutsareteacherstoo @pocketsizedpanther

@nahimjustfeelingit-writes @blowmymbackout @5headsupremacist @creartivefairy

@insidefeelingofanadult @revealingco @keyaho @jimmybutlrr @gg-trini

@nayaxwrites @miyuhpapayuh @poektiou624 @gwenda-fav @nayaesworld

@ittsstephanieee @beenathembo @blyffe @thegreatlibraryofalex @persethegawd

[anyamaris]

How to Love Your Enemy- Part 3

Word Count-12k (yeah...I got a little carried away in this part)

Summary-An unexpected twist is thrown into your life as you begin your new career, in the form of the man you once knew.

Pairing- Kang Yeosang x f!reader

Trope-Enemies to lovers AU

Warnings-Vulgarity, angry conversations, allusions to past hurt, arguments, mentions of drinking, drunkenness, minor injury and mentions of blood (just a scrape wound), unprotected sex, fingering, dirty talk, sexual acts in public, just tons of smuttiness in this one cause...well....I like to write smut...Minors DNI 18+ .

Tags- @cultofdionysusnet @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @yoonguurt @shinestarhwaa @babesindestroyland @lemonhongjoong @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @flowerboykun @millennial-fangirl @ericssmile @kthpurplesyou @changbinslovelylegs @yeosxxx @ssaboala @millennial-fangirl @starillusion13 @duchesskaren

Always thank you to @cafekitsune for the use of the beautiful banners and dividers!

A/N-As I said, I got a little carried away in this one. During editing alone, I think I added around 4k.... I thought this would end the little mini series but I may end up adding a bit more if there's interest. (Ill likely finish it for myself at some point regardless). Thank you to everyone who has read so far and I'm sorry for the long chapter!

The rest of your afternoon is a bit of a haze, as you let the cupcakes cool to be frosted later.  You busy yourself with cleaning up, and then decide to take a small nap.  Upon waking, you make your way back to the kitchen still in a bit of a daze but stop as you picture his hands on your body, his mouth on yours.  His handsome face as he dropped to his knees and his lips….

“Oh goodness…” you sigh out, clutching the counter to steady yourself.  If I keep thinking about this, I’m not going to get anything done, you think and take a few deep breaths. You try to focus on anything but the…activities from earlier.

 Finally able to function a bit better, you busy yourself with frosting and adding cute little candy decor to the cupcakes.  You put them in the cute little box and happily make your way over to see Soobin.  

“Hey!” The tall man says cheerfully as he opens the door, his eyes lighting up when he sees the box in your hands.  You’d made it a point to get some adorable little bakery boxes for your baked goods last time you’d done a sweep through the store and his delighted expression had you doing an internal fist pump.  Totally worth it.

“It’s so professional!” he exclaims as you hand over the cupcakes.  “I hope you guys enjoy them!” you lean over and wave to the others and they all call out happily.  “Want to come in?” he asks and you smile, deciding that some fun time would definitely be better than going home and thinking too much.  Spending the evening with the five tall gorgeous men puts you in much better spirits and you are able to push all the confusion to the side for the time being.  

Happy to be making friends, especially when you live right across the hall, you can only thank fate that at least one thing is going well in your life.  Sunday is relaxing and quiet, and you find yourself taking a long, hot bath, as well as spending a bit more time on shaving and pampering.  You even end up adding in some extra facial care, then spend a bit of time going through your panties and bras, until you finally stop singing along with the music to realize what you’re doing.

“Just because a man has his face in between my legs in my kitchen doesn’t mean we’re….anything…right?” you say to the walls, but they have no answers for you.  “I still…hate him…don’t I?”  The only answer you get in the music playing as you frown down at your intimates.  “What am I even doing?” you huff, tossing them back in the drawer and going to check your phone for the 100th time that day.  Still nothing.  Not a call or a text.  You frown and feel your heart throb.

“Ha, like he’d just text me…” you toss the phone, going into the bathroom to scream into the smaller space as you start cleaning anxiously.  It’s fine, it’s not like you wanted him to change anything.  Not like you wanted to see that beautiful smile again.  To run your fingers through his hair….You can only screech like a maniac as you focus on making everything spotless.  

Yep, everything is fine.

Monday morning.  Another Monday morning.  Yet another routine, but on this morning you take special care with your makeup.  With putting up your hair carefully, wearing a more form fitting blouse, emphasizing your body.  Smiling, you pull out a knee length skirt that has a cute little flare to it, wanting to feel a bit more feminine.  The colors compliment you and you wink at yourself in the mirror, then laugh out loud at your cheesiness.  

“Hey!” you scold yourself, pointing a finger at your reflection.  “It’s perfectly fine to take pride in my appearance.  If no one else notices it, I can appreciate myself.” Nodding, feeling better, you grab your bag and toss on some heels, making your way to the bus stop, repeating that this was definitely for you.  Definitely.  

You’re not sure if it’s the outfit, or the extra time you had taken on yourself today, but you were getting more looks than usual.  More male gazes aimed your way, and you can’t help but blush and look away when you notice.  Maybe you got them before and hadn’t noticed? You think, but shrug it off as you make your way from the stop to the building.  

You pause briefly as you see a familiar figure walking into the building, his gait unmistakable.  “You’re fine.” you whisper, smoothing your skirt and taking a deep breath, continuing your way into work.  You manage to make it into the elevator before the doors close and you smile at your coworkers.  Making small chit chat, you can’t help the little extra bounce in your step, feeling like today will be a good day.  Especially if you get to see certain people.  

As you leave the elevator, you make your way to your desk and get right into your emails.  You smile at Minseok as he comes over to you, chatting about your weekend as you get ready for your Monday meeting with- You glance over as you hear Yeosang’s deep voice from across the room.  

Shaking your head, you try to give your full attention to Minseok.  “You look really nice today.” he is saying and you can’t help but beam at him.  “Oh, thank you!” you say, blushing a little at the unexpected compliment.  “Really, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a skirt. It’s really pretty..” he says, a little stain on his cheeks giving him an almost cherub like look and you giggle.  “Aww, you’re so sweet.” you say, fighting the urge to pinch his adorable face.  

“Did you forget about your work meeting?” you suddenly hear from behind you, startling you, then Minseok waves as he makes his way back to his desk.  You turn to see two dark eyes glaring at you and you frown as you tilt your head at the man you’d definitely not wanted to see the most.  Why is he glaring and frowning already? 

“We still have a few minutes before that starts, Yeosang. I was just talking to my coworker.  Is that not alright?” your tone is a bit more clipped than you mean it to be, but for some reason his comment and the look on his face has your good mood slipping through the cracks.  

“Just…let’s just get this over with.” he snaps and turns to head to his office, confusing you.  Besides the few times he’s pulled you in there, most meetings were in the conference room, but you just shrug and follow, rubbing your neck in frustration.  Why was he so angry? Did he regret things? Your brain races as you walk through his office door under his scrutinizing frown.  Closing the door behind him, he turns to you and crosses his arms.

“Where would you like to start?” you ask, sitting  on the loveseat you’ve become familiar with.  Crossing your legs, you watch his eyes scan you, dipping down, then back up to your face, his scowl deepening.  You just tap your pen against your notebook in confusion, not understanding why he looks so upset.  “Is something wrong?” you ask him, but he just sighs, rubbing a hand over his face as he makes his way to his desk.  

“No…yes…no…” he mutters and you can’t help but smirk a little at his odd answer.  “What’s going on? Is everything alright? It’s strange of you to be so-” “How would you know what is or isn’t strange for me?” he bites out, then turns his head from you as you sit in shock, busying himself with his computer. 

 “Um. Oh….” you say, folding in on yourself  a bit.  You feel a wave of irritation wash over you as tears prick at the back of your eyes.   “Right, so…” you clear your throat, then launch into work, going over edits and details he needs to know, then making sure he’s set up for the first part of the week.  You struggle to keep yourself focused and hope he will say something.  He only glances over occasionally, barely even looking at you as you verify your priorities for the day.  

Feeling suffocated and needing to get out of this office, you just stand and nod at him, concluding the meeting with just a, “Then.” He ignores you as you walk out, closing the door behind you.  Swallowing a few times as you press your hand to your chest, you put on your practiced smile and go back to your desk to get to work.  You’d deal with your confusion later, letting this affect your work was the last thing you should be doing.  

By the time lunch rolls around, you lean back and stretch, smiling at your coworkers as they make their way out, chatting and groaning about the busy afternoon to come.  “Hey, did you want to go get a coffee with me?” Minseok asks and you nod, “Oh god yes, that sounds like the perfect lunch!” Laughing, you both make your way out and you happen to catch a glimpse of Yeosang as he walks past you both, noticing that his mood doesn’t seem to have changed.  He doesn’t even seem to acknowledge your presence and you grit your teeth and just keep smiling.

The afternoon is just as crazy as you expect, managing to finish up just a little bit after everyone says goodbye for the night.  You happen to grab the elevator as it opens and make your way to the back, watching the last flood of people crowd in.  You glance down at your phone as you wait, then feel yourself get jostled to the back corner.  Someone bumps you pretty hard, causing you to stumble on your heels but then a strong hand is steadying you, an arm slipping around your waist. 

Immediately, you put your hands up to push against whoever is touching you, but when you glance up, you’re met with those dark, intense eyes.  Yeosang’s eyes.  The same glaring eyes from earlier, making you glare back at him. 

 Your hands are flat against his chest since there’s nowhere to go, and his body is extremely close to yours, but his face doesn’t change as he gazes at you.  He is pressed closer into you as more people get on, and you can’t help the hitch of breath that escapes your mouth as you feel his crotch press against your thigh. He adjusts as people around you move and you can feel his heart beating under your hand, then the bulge is hardening. 

 Your eyes flit up to his face again and the dark gaze is the same, but a small smile has crept across his lips. Your pulse racing, he watches you as he rubs himself against you, bringing heat into your cheeks.  He lets out a small little groan as he tips his head to brush his lips against your cheek and you shudder from the sensation.   Suddenly, his hand is slipping down and lifting the hem of your skirt, drawing out a gasp from you. 

 “Shhh…” he whispers next to your ear and you bite your lip as his warm hand skims across the bare flesh of your inner thigh. His strong fingers are brushing the sensitive skin, sliding up slowly to trace the seam of your panties.  Your once dry panties, but as he pushes them aside, you can feel yourself leaking your need for him all over his fingers as he touches you. 

 “Yeo-” you try to whisper, but he moves his body against yours as he breathes into your ear.  “Shhh…shhhh…” is all that leaves his lips as his fingers delve into you, two at once, and you’ve got his shirt in a death grip as you tremble in his arms.  He pushes your thighs open with his own, lifting your skirt more to grind against your naked thigh, his hips mimicking the same rhythm of his fingers.  “You like this?” he whispers softly and you quiver, biting your lip so hard to keep the sound from escaping.   

It takes everything in you not to make a noise, but the way your whole body shakes tells him everything.  He is panting softly in your ear, his fingers coated with your moisture as he finds the right pressure of his palm against your clit.  A small “Mmmm..” leaves his throat as he finally brushes against the spongy spot within you and you have to press your face against his chest, biting the side of your hand to keep the whimper in. “There…right there.. yeah?” his deep voice makes your legs feel like rubber as he fucks you with his agile fingers, his cock straining against his pants as he plunges into you faster.  Your head jerks back as you feel your body spasm, drawing in a sharp breath, but then his hand is covering your mouth to keep you quiet.  The sight of his lust filled dark eyes has you spiraling, grateful so many people are pressed in around you to hold you up.  

 “Cum..cum..cumm..” he’s whispering,  groaning as your walls clamp around his fingers, “Shhh ... .god yes ... .shhh…” he keeps murmuring.  Your head swims and you can feel your thighs dripping with the overpowering climax he’s just pulled out of you.  He continues to pump his fingers in and out of you as you quake against him, his erection throbbing, grinding into your thigh as he overstimulates you.  You look up at him, your lips parted, your face flushed and your eyes glazed and his own eyes flare crazily.  

He glances behind you both as people continue to get on and off, and noticing that no one is looking at either of you, he takes his hand off your mouth and replaces it with his own.  You can hear the whine from your throat as his tongue teases against yours.  “Garage, my car.” he whispers and you can only nod, completely shocked at the sudden turn of events and the insane thought that you just did this in a public place, your WORK. But the dampness between your thighs and the throbbing around the fingers he still has within you has you throwing caution to the wind.  

You have to reach down and grip his wrist as your legs shake, as he seems to have nested his fingers deep within you.  He seems content to just slowly move them, his thumb rubbing across your clit occasionally, seeming to enjoy the little spasm it gives your whole body.  “Stop.” you whisper and he chuckles, looking down at you.  “Should I?” he whispers back with a small smile and you can only shake your head no.  No, you didn’t want him to stop.  

Finally, the elevator makes it to the garage and he slips his fingers out of you as you watch everyone empty out, trying to fix your panties covertly.  He strides out ahead of you and you hesitate briefly, catching the door as it’s about to close as he turns to look back at you.  “Coming?” he asks, but the seductive smirk makes it sound so lewd and your breath catches.  

“Yeosang…what…where are you taking me?” you ask him, but he’s opening his passenger side for you, gesturing for you to get in.  “Really?” you raise an eyebrow at him and his eyes harden, and you get into the vehicle.  For some reason, his angry look has you wanting to obey him, but you also are more than curious to see what he’s going to do after that stunt in the elevator.  As he gets in the driver’s side, he closes and locks the doors, then glances around behind you through the windows.  

“Yeosang-” you manage but as he turns to look at you, the completely animalistic look on his face has you falling silent.  Swallowing hard, you can feel your heart pounding through your chest and you’re almost certain he can hear it too.  You try to look away from his ridiculously handsome face, but the throbbing pulse in his neck has you parched.  You manage to open your mouth briefly to ask again, but his tongue is there, seeking yours, his hand cupping the back of your head to hold you in place.  Not that you’d go anywhere, your tongue eagerly clashing with his, your hands in his hair.  

“Not here.” he murmurs, drawing back and leaving you almost in tears from need.  What was this? You think, frustrated even more so now than anywhere throughout the day.  “What? Where are we-” “Your place,” he says huskily, causing your whole body to shudder.  “Wait…I don’t understand…” you whisper, glancing at him, then looking out the window as he drives.  

“You don’t understand? What is it you don’t understand?” he asks, not looking away from the road.  “You.  I don’t understand anything about you.  Earlier you said-” “Do you not want me to take you home?” he asks, and you stifle the urge to scream.  Your head hurt from trying to figure him out.  Suddenly feeling extremely sensitive and emotional, you just lean back.  “Fine, Yeosang.  Take me home.”  you cross your arms, turning towards the window, feeling reality hit you.  

You kept letting him creep in and surprise you, and while that was wonderful while it lasted, nothing was ever clear.  Even your attempt to talk is met with resistance and you feel a small bit of shame from letting him just use you as he wished.  As you see your building, you turn to him and point, “Let me out here.” He turns to look at you, confused and you just glare at him.  “But-” “This is fine.” you bite out and he frowns as he slows down. “Okay..” he says, and before the car even stops, you are opening the door, not even saying a word before slamming it and walking off.  

You can hear him leaving behind you but you don’t bother looking as you open the doors and make your way into your building.  “Jerk.” you mutter and wipe at the stupid tears on your face.  Upon opening your apartment door, you kick your shoes off, yanking at your hair in frustration.  “What is so wrong about talking? Why is he angry one minute then he’s -” you blush as you remember his fingers deep inside of you, then you throw your head back and scream. 

 “DAMN YOU KANG YEOSANG!” 

The next day is no better, nor the day after that.  You have just given Yeosang the cold shoulder and you’d barely seen him given the busy state of the office. You’d opened your emails and had been reminded of a company party happening at the office this Saturday and you realized you’d have to go shopping for a dress.  You really didn’t want to go, but the whole office was buzzing about it and asking about who everyone was bringing and all the fun you’d all have.  You couldn’t help but get a little excited.  You just hated that you’d be going alone. 

 The little glimpses you’d seen of Yeosang had you running the other way.  Every time you could smell his scent, you were panicking and hiding.  The very few instances you had to interact, his eyes were unreadable and you did your best to avoid looking at him directly.  There hadn’t been any more elevator encounters.  Now you just had to concentrate on accepting that you’d be going to the party stag. 

That was, until Soobin happened to come by on Wednesday evening.  As he chatted with you, which was becoming a normal thing when you got home, you happened to mention the party.  “Oh that sounds like so much fun!” he exclaims and you shake your head.  “Ah, maybe I guess?  I got a really pretty dress and everything but everyone is bringing a date, so I feel awkward.”  “Really? How come no date?” he asks, eyeing the batch of cookies you’d made.  “Go ahead, eat them silly.  You don’t have to ask.” you say and his eyes light up, popping one into his mouth.  “As for the date, I guess I just…I don’t know.  I don’t have anyone to go with.” you shrug, and he perks up.  

“How about me?” he asks and you look at him in shock.  “You?” you cough out and he frowns as he chews another cookie.  “Why not?” His fallen expression makes you feel horrible and you put your hands up frantically.  “I didn’t mean anything bad! Soob, I’d love to take you, I suppose I’m just surprised you’d want to go with me.”  He shrugs and smiles, tilting his head.  “We’re friends and you always take care of me.” 

“You just want to meet your role model.” you poke his nose and he grins, “Well that helps too…I won’t lie.  I’d love to meet him.  BUT, I also don’t want you to go alone.  I have plenty of dress clothes, don’t worry!” he reassures you and you giggle.  “Soob, even if you went in a hoodie and jeans, I’d be honored.”  He just smiles happily and you both chat about the party and other random things.  

So when Friday rolls around and you’re making your way out of the station after a long day, you are shocked when you feel a hand on your arm to stop you.  Your heart stutters briefly, turning and expecting Yeosang but you’re faced with Minseok and your heart falls.  Irritated at thinking of the frustrating man, you smile at your co-worker. 

“Hey! I have a quick question, do you know any good places to take a girl on a date? Like coffee or anything?” The panic on his face has you biting back a smile and you pat his shoulder.  “Awww, are you going on a first date?”  He nods frantically, looking panicked and you can’t help but rub his arm to calm him.  “Here, there’s some really nice ones…”  you give him some random places as you watch his face relax, trying your best not to smile at how cute he is.  “Good luck,” you say to him once you send him the locations with a thumbs up  and he suddenly gives you a big hug, thanking you profusely as he runs off waving.

Giggling, you turn to see Yeosang parked at the curb, passenger window rolled down.  Your grin drops as you curl a lip at him.  His scowl was not inviting, so you turn to walk away before he calls out to you, “Get in.” Huffing, you turn back to look at him, giving him your own scowl.  “Excuse me?” you ask and he sighs, getting out of the car to come over to you.  “Please…let me give you a ride home.” he asks in a low tone and you close your eyes, but then decide that you’d rather this than the crowded bus.  

“Fine. But only because you asked instead of demanding it.” you say, eyeing him.  You catch him rolling his eyes but ignore it, getting in and fastening your seatbelt.  You immediately cross your arms and turn away like you had the last time.  Once he’s in, the silence seems to be oppressive as he stays in park, forcing you to turn towards him in irritation.  “Are we-” 

“Why are you being like this?” he asks and you can only gape at him.  “Being like what?” you choke out, completely taken aback at how he could ask that.  “You’ve been avoiding me and ignoring me.” he says and it’s your turn to roll your eyes.  “As opposed to the close friendship we have and how we talk ALL THE TIME??” you ask and he winces at the sarcasm.  

“You seem to be friendly enough with everyone else.” he says and you swear his words are laced with venom, confusing you.  “Am I not allowed to be nice to other people?” you can only stare at him incredulously. “You don’t seem to have an issue being nice to everyone else either.” you mutter.  You both just stare at each other, and the tense atmosphere has you wanting to shriek. He just shakes his head and shifts into gear, pulling away and heading towards your destination.  

Most of the ride is silent as you stare out the window, rubbing the back of your neck as you try to get rid of the foul mood you find yourself in.   “Are you going to the party tomorrow?” he asks suddenly, breaking through the quiet space.  “Yes.” is all you answer with and he nods, letting the silence settle in again.  After what seems like forever, you can see your building.  “Here is good.” you point and he nods, pulling up by the curb.  

“Hey-” he calls out as you open the door and you stop, turning to look at him.  The hesitant smile on his face has your heart melting and you curse yourself internally.  “See you tomorrow?” he asks softly and you can only nod as you try to calm your nerves.  “Yes…tomorrow.” you murmur and then you’re heading into your building, cursing your weak emotions, especially when it comes to that man. 

Soobin comes by later that night to solidify plans and you spend the evening trying to distract yourself from the thoughts racing through your brain.  What was with that guy, you think as you fold the same shirt for the fifth time.  You can only scowl at yourself for the distraction you’re causing yourself and decide to call it a night, sleeping fitfully.

Waking up in a mildly irritable mood from the broken sleep, you take your time getting out of bed.  Spending the first part of the day cleaning and checking your outfit and everything for later, you decide to finally shower and get ready in the early afternoon.  You’d purchased a really pretty mid thigh length black dress, long enough to be fairly modest but you thought it looked good on you and maybe even slightly sexy.  As you put the finishing touches on, earrings, makeup, you smile as you study your figure, wondering if he will notice…

“This dress is for me, not him.” you tell your reflection, then stick your tongue out, feeling silly.  “And my date.” You can’t help but wonder if Yeosang will bring a date as well, but then you’re brought to your senses as your doorbell rings and you grab your bag and shoes, opening it to Soobin.  He looks amazing, tall and sleek in a nice black suit.  His eyes widen as he takes you in, then he gives you a huge grin.  “Wow! You look amazing….wow…” he studies you and you can’t help but blush as you pose for him, making him laugh.  “My date is hot!” he winks.

“Thank you, kind sir.” you say, fluttering your eyelashes and you both giggle, then he’s taking your arm to escort you down.  “My lady,” he says in a ridiculous tone as he opens the door to the ride he’d ordered and you enjoy the little silliness as you both get in, telling him about your work on the way.  Once you arrive, his eyes light up as he takes in the building, helping you out of the taxi.  “Wow,” he whispers, “So cool.” You can only roll your eyes and you smack his arm.  “It’s just a building, Soobin.” you snicker at his overacting and he nods, smiling at you as he takes your hand in his.  

You look up at him as he pulls you forward to go inside.  “Holding hands now?” you ask, amused and he nods, squaring his shoulders.  “Of course, I’m your date and I’m going to be the best date, hand holding, attentiveness, the whole nine.” he proclaims, causing you to laugh loudly, covering your mouth.  “You’re doing so well, your efforts are commendable.” you nod and he laughs along with you as you make your way to your office.  

You know you’re a bit early but there seem to already be some people here, and you wave at Minseok as you spot him.  He beams at you happily, glancing around, then pointing at the woman next to him, giving you a thumbs up.  Ah, the coffee date, you think and grin at him, happy for his fortune.  You whisper about what happened to Soobin, explaining the first date and as you do, you happen to catch sight of Yeosang emerging from the elevator.  And he’s alone, you think in relief, then catch yourself in irritation.   

He looks amazing, you can’t help but think as you stop breathing for a moment.  His longish hair is swept back and styled nicely, his black pin striped suit fitted extremely well.  You have to struggle to swallow, mentioning to Soobin that you should both find a drink, so you can take your eyes off the ridiculously attractive man that keeps invading your mind.  

The company had catered the event and there were little tables everywhere with glasses of wine and champagne, as well as a small bar.  You go grab a glass of whatever is closest, what looks to be red wine and take a sip.  Soobin just shakes his head, smiling down at you.  “Nah, I don’t drink.  But please,” he gestures, “I’d love to see you have fun, so whatever you’d like.”  You nod and drag him over to meet your coworkers, introducing him to everyone and chatting, definitely not avoiding a certain someone.  Definitely not.    

Noticing that he’s deep into conversation with a few people, you place your hand on his arm and gesture to the restrooms, so he knows you didn’t abandon him.  He nods and you make your way to the girls room.  You stop, checking yourself in the mirror as you wash your hands and  finish up.  As you walk out, you find yourself glancing around, then catch yourself.  Idiot, you think, why are you looking for-

Thoughts are abruptly cut off as you feel a hand on your arm and you’re being spun around.  “What-” you start to yell, but then you’re looking up into familiar dark eyes, blazing at you.  Why does he always look angry at me?  Why just me? 

“Why must you always grab me like I’m some toy for you to play with?!” you hiss at him before you can stop yourself.  His eyes go wide and he lets you go in shock, stepping back.  You both just look at each other in silence as you gather your thoughts.  “Well?” you ask, crossing your arms at him.  “I-” he starts, glancing away, then back at you, then away again.  

“I just wanted to say hello.” he finally says and you sigh, taking a moment to breathe.  “Yeosang…you could try talking to me like a normal person.” He just frowns at you and you cock your eyebrow at him. “Hello, Yeosang.  Nice to see you.” you say, holding out your hand and he just stares at you, seeming to be upset for some reason.  

“If that’s all…” you say, walking away, waving to Soobin when he waves to you, making his way over.  “You-” Yeosang is saying as he walks up behind you, but then Soobin is there, placing a hand on your back as he smiles brightly at Yeosang.  Turning, you remember that Soobin had mostly come for Yeosang so you try to be cheery as you smile at the grouchy man.  Trying to smile, you gesture to your date.

“Oh- Yeosang, I wanted you to meet Soobin.  He said he actually went to the same University as you.” Soobin holds out his hand and Yeosang frowns as he clasps it with his own.  “Did we?” he asks, his eyes flicking to you, then back to Soobin.  “You were a year ahead, but you always made an impact on me and all of the other idol trainees.  I just wanted to let you know how much we look up to you and inspired us." He is gushing already and you can’t help but smile up at him, unable to not giggle a bit at how much of an eager puppy he is.  

Yeosang’s eyes draw yours, his eyes unreadable as he listens to Soobin and you can see he’s clearly unhappy with you, but when he looks back at the younger man, he’s smiling and chatting nicely.  Why does he dislike me so much, but then he… you just shake your head, trying to nod along with the conversation.  Noticing they are both caught up with their college talk, you look around.  

You wander off as you notice some other coworkers nearby, leaving the two to reminisce about their university days.  You grab another glass as you go, thinking it might help the anxiety youve got simmering below the surface.  Every single time you had an interaction with Yeosang, it left you feeling confused among a myriad of other emotions.  If it was just hatred, it might be easier but…..Downing the bubbly liquid, you replace it with another full glass and take a large sip.  Oh, should probably slow down…you think, hiccuping from drinking the carbonated drink too fast.  

You glance over at the two men, walking back over to make sure Soobin didn’t feel like you’d abandoned him at a party you brought him to.  Slipping your hand into his, he looks down at you and smiles, squeezing your palm.  Turning to Yeosang you can’t help but notice his scowl has returned with your appearance and you sigh inwardly.  It really was just you who bothered him.  

“Soob-'' you say, but then you hiccup again and pat your chest, giving him a big smile and a giggle.  “Drank champagne too fast, ouch.” you say, and his smile dips a bit, his hand dropping yours to rub your back.  “Are you alright?” he asks, concerned and you just nod, waving your hand.  “Yeah just…too fast, so bubbly!” Soobin smiles in apology at Yeosang, who is frowning at you, and looking back and forth between you both.  You resist the urge to sneer at him as his eyes seem to blaze at you, his jaw clenching.  

“Oh-” Soobin startles and you look up at him as he takes his phone out.  “Are you going to be alright if I take this?” he asks, showing you the phone.  “Of course, silly!” you say, shooing him off and he smiles, mouthing a thank you as he walks  away.  

“How do you two know each other?” Yeosang asks bluntly, and you glance over at him just to see his judging eyes.  “None of your business.” you answer and look around for another drink.  As you grab one, Yeosang plucks  it out of your hand and sets it back down.  “Excuse me?” you choke out, shocked.  

“You’ve already had three drinks in a short period of time.” he states and you sigh, rolling your eyes.  “What are you, stalking me?” you ask, poking him and he looks down at your finger then back at you.  “Perhaps.”  is all he responds with and you scrunch your face at him, sneering almost comically.  His lip twitches and you realize that he almost smiled.  

“Oh!” you point, pretending to gasp and he looks away.  “You..you …was that a smile???” “How do you know him?” he asks again, making you want to scream, but you just turn to walk away.  He follows and you wrinkle your nose at him, grabbing another drink as you wind your way through people, walking into the hallway that leads to another area.  The drink is pulled from your hands again as he catches up with you and you hiss at him, “Will you stop, am I not allowed to enjoy myself?”  he sets the drink to the side and pushes you around a corner where it’s quieter, backing you into a wall, his hand on the wall beside you.

“Really? Isn’t this a bit much?” you eye his arm, then him, crossing your arms to give him an exasperated look.  “Is he your boyfriend?” Yeosang spits out, and you stand a little taller as you uncross your arms, placing your hands on his chest to push him back, but he doesn’t budge.  “It’s none of your business if he is or isn’t.” you snap back and his eyes flare, causing a small shiver of fear to run through you at the pure rage in them.  

“The fuck it isn’t.” he growls, pushing closer to you despite your hands straining against him.  “You don’t own me, Yeosang.  Just because you play with me when it suits you doesn’t mean I’m your property!” you try your best not to yell, but his proximity and your emotions are starting to affect you more than you’d like.  “Who the fuck says I’m playing with you?” he asks, bringing his face closer to yours.  

“Who says you’re not? You don’t-” you're cut off as your phone starts to ring, and you almost sigh in relief, reaching to grab it.  Yeosang clutches your hand as you pull it out and you look back up at him.  “Finish what you were going to say.” he whispers but you hit answer and bring the phone to your ear.  “Hi Soobin…. Yes, sorry just wandered off, I’ll be right there.” you say without ever looking away from Yeosang’s dark, angry eyes.  Hanging up, you frown at the irritating man.

“If you want the answer, you can ask me when I’m not on my DATE.” You duck under his arm and make your way back to the party, grabbing the glass he’d taken from you and going to find Soobin.  At this point, you don’t even want to drink, putting it down as a headache creeps into your temples.

After finding him and mingling a bit more, you find yourself catching Yeosang’s gaze occasionally and you rub the back of your neck in frustration.  “Hey Soobin…I…would you be upset if I said I wanted to leave?” you ask and he immediately puts an arm around you and leans down to whisper in your ear, “No, not at all, I kinda was getting tired too…are you alright?” he asks in concern, eyeing you.  Feeling a bit wobbly, you curse yourself for drinking at all.  

“Yeah…just a bit of a headache.  You were right about drinking too fast, I think I’m a little tipsy and it’s not good tipsy.” you pout and he nods, leading you over to the elevators.  “You didn’t need to say goodbye to anyone?” he asks as the doors open and you shake your head.  “Nah, I don’t want to ruin anyone’s time.  Did you enjoy yourself?” you ask as the doors start to close but then they open back up and you frown as Yeosang joins you both in the lift.  

“Leaving too?” he asks, hitting the button for the garage and you can’t help but roll your eyes.  “Yes, she’s not feeling so good so we’re going to call it a night.” Soobin answers and Yeosang’s eyes soften a bit as he takes in your face.  “Did you drive?” Yeosang asks.  “No, taxi…oh yeah I should-” Soobin starts to pull out his phone, but Yeosang holds up his keys.  “I’ll drive you back. No need to bother with a taxi.” 

 There goes the thought of getting away from him, you think, ignoring the conversation.  “Are you sure? If it’s out of your way-” “It’s not, I’d feel better if I got my coworker and her date home safely.” he says, and you snap your head back to catch the flint in his eyes at the words.  “Such a nice guy.” you say, and Soobin agrees, not catching the underlying sarcasm or the look that passes between you and Yeosang.  

You do your best as you make your way to the car when the elevator doors open, immediately climbing into the back.  During the ride, you just rub your head and look out the window, not even registering the conversation in the front seat as you lose yourself in your thoughts.  Unfortunately, they just bounce from why Yeosang hates you to why he even touched you to begin with if he does, to why he’s so angry about you having a date.  The ideas are conflicting and it just makes your head throb even more. Nothing makes any sense to you and you just want to be in your apartment curled up alone.

As the car pulls up in front of the building, you toss open the door and immediately get out to head towards your building.  You can hear Soobin saying goodbyes behind you and you rub your aching chest, picking up your pace but you’d forgotten you’d worn heels.  You stumble and cry out as your ankle twists, causing you to fall and scrape the palms of your hands and your knees.  You don’t even bother trying to get back up as you feel tears well up in your eyes.  

“Fucking night…fucking weekend…” you curse and wipe your face before you notice your hand is bleeding, causing you to curse again.  “Damn it!” you yell and then Soobin is beside you, his hand on your arm. “Oh my god, are you ok?” he’s asking, tilting your face up and frowning as he watches you cry.  “You’ve got blood on your face, oh my god-” he says, but then he looks up behind you and you feel yourself being lifted into a pair of strong arms. 

“I’ve got her.” you hear Yeosang’s deep, rich voice and just close your eyes in complete embarrassment.  Of course this would happen in front of these two, Soobin being always so caring, and Yeosang ...well…. You really didn’t need to give him another reason to despise you.

 Now here you are, worrying your poor neighbor and Yeosang is probably pissed off, you think, opening your eyes to look up at him.  Instead of contempt though, his eyes are full of worry, and when he glances down as you get into the lobby then the elevator up, his eyes grow even more worried as he looks closely at your face.  

“Can this thing go any faster?” he grits his teeth, panic in his voice.  Soobin, who is bouncing around in concern, takes your hand to look at it under the light.  “You guys, its fine, I just scraped my-” “Shh, it’s alright,” Soobin whispers, smoothing your hair as he pets you.  “Can you get her keys?” Yeosang asks and Soobin nods, opening the bag he’d probably grabbed where you’d fallen.   “I’m fine.” you sniffle out but Yeosang gives you a look, just saying, “Hush.”  

You just bury your face in his chest and hope this humiliating night will end soon.  Finally off the elevator, you can hear Soobin opening your door.  You finally glance up at both of them when Yeosang stops.  “It’s fine, I can take care of her, don’t worry.” He says and Soobin hesitates, looking at you, then Yeosang, then back at you.  “I’m really alright…I’m so sorry Soob.” He just smiles sadly and sighs, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to catch you.” You laugh with a little sniffle, feeling bad. “Silly, it’s my fault…I’m not the best date…” you just smile weakly.  

“Here, take your keys.  Don’t leave them in the door like last time, where anyone can come in.  Ugh…you need to be more careful!” he scolds and you just nod as Yeosang carries you into your apartment, closing the door then setting you down gently.  He kneels to help you take your shoes off as the lights turn on.  You watch him as he slips his hand up your leg to look at the wounds on your knees, his eyes flicking up to you.  “You’re so troublesome.” he says softly, then he’s sweeping you back up in his arms.  “I can walk-” 

“Quiet.” he says, bringing you into the living room area to set you down on the couch.  “Where is your first aid kit?” he asks and you point, “Closet, third shelf.”  He nods and goes to retrieve it, giving you a moment to collect yourself.  You wipe your face again, and he’s tching at you as he comes back.  He pulls your hand away as he sits. “Stop doing that, you’re getting more blood on your face.  I thought you’d landed on it and cut your cheek.”

“I’m fine really, I just-” “Will you just let me?” he asks, exasperated and you bite your lip, holding your other hand out to let him clean up and treat your wounds.  You just watch him in silence, noticing the way his harsh words are completely opposite from the delicate way he’s dabbing at the cuts, the way his hand skims the skin on your leg as he administers care to your bleeding knees.  

“Finish what you were going to say earlier.” he says suddenly, not looking up as he bandages you.  “What…?” you ask, confused, then he’s staring up at you.  His eyes aren’t hard this time, and it catches you off guard.  He moves to sit beside you on the couch, taking a clean wet cloth to wipe at your cheek where you’d smeared the blood from your hand.  

“Why do you think I’m playing with you?”  he asks softly, setting the cloth to the side, then cupping your cheek in his hand.  “Your date is over, so now I can ask.” You can only look at him, trying to collect your thoughts as his thumb traces your cheek, skimming along the bottom of your eye as he collects the little tear threatening to spill out.  

“Because of this.” you whisper in a shaking voice, causing him to wrinkle his brow in confusion.  “This?” he asks and you nod, your lip trembling.  “You do this-you-you-you touch me and act so kind-” you say, trying to stay calm but your breath is hitching as your frustration threatens to strangle you.  “Shh…calm down, it’s ok…” he is pulling you to him and you close your eyes to try to gather yourself.  “Do you not want me to act kind?” he whispers, pulling back and tilting your head up to look at him.  

“I do…I want you to and that’s the problem.” you choke out and he shakes his head, not understanding.  Frustrated, you choke out, “You hate me-” “I don’t.” “Then why didn’t you ever text or call me after you left last weekend?  Why did you act so angry when I saw you again? Did you regret what happened in- with…that-” you gesture to the kitchen, a blush creeping into your cheeks.  

“No! No, of course I don’t regret that…” he whispers, his eyes growing concerned.  “You looked at me like you hated me, then you- the - in the elevator-” you manage and his eyes flash hungrily at the thought.  “You wouldn’t tell me what was going on, I was so confused.. .. You are angry at me, then you touch me and I - I…I hate that you do this to me and you don’t even like me!” you say, the tears flowing freely now.  

“You were upset because I didn’t text you or talk to you after?” he asks and you glare at him.  “No…yes……maybe…I don’t know!” you say, pulling away from him and standing up, wanting some distance.  “I can explain that.” he says, getting up to follow you as you make your way into your room.  “Can you explain why you did-that-here and then were all pissy with me at work Monday?” you say, turning on him and making him draw up short.  

“Yes.” he responds and you gesture to him, hands on your hips.  “Go ahead then, explain it.”  you cross your arms and he stares at you momentarily before saying simply, “My phone broke when I went into work that night.  It’s still in the shop, I haven’t had it all week.  That’s why I didn’t…couldn’t contact you.” 

“Oh…well that still doesn’t explain why-” 

“I was jealous.” he cuts you off, shocking you into silence.

 “What?” you ask, completely confused.  “Jealous? Of what?” He frowns at you, his eyes raking in your form from head to toe before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to him.  “That skirt you wore…how other men looked at you, other men calling you pretty…watching men hug you….touch even your hand….I hated it.” he whispers, his fingers cupping the back of your head as he looks at you.  “Why would you hate that?”  you ask him and he sighs softly.  “I don’t want anyone else to look at you, isn’t that obvious?” 

“No…it’s not even remotely obvious, at least to me.” you respond and he frowns.  “You honestly think I dislike you?” You can only nod at him and he presses his lips softly to yours.  “Do you dislike me?” he asks and when you hesitate, brows draw together in concern.  “It’s too dangerous.” you manage, trying to pull away, but he won’t let you.  “The last time I told you I liked you, you humiliated me and told me I was disgusting.  How-Why-” you stop, trembling at the memory.  Confusion, then realization crosses his features as he studies your face.  

“In high school?” he asks, his eyes wide.  You can only nod, swallowing to try to keep the tears at bay.  He just blinks at you, his face registering a variety of emotions.  “When you…when you told me..?” you finally succeed in pushing him away, turning to go find your pajamas, not wanting to relive it.  

“Forget it, just-” 

“When you told me you liked me then, was that true?” he asks, his face completely serious.  

Snorting out a laugh, you just throw him a snide look.  “What, are you going to rub it in again? Make me feel horrible? Thanks, I don’t need that again messing my head up.”

 “You really liked me?” he asks yet again and you slam the drawer shut as you pull out something comfy nightshirt.  “YES, YEOSANG! Fuck- who the hell confesses feelings if THEY DON’T LIKE THE PERSON? What is your-?” but his mouth is on yours, his hands pulling your pjs out of your arms, pushing you back to the wall before you can even blink. 

You push against him, causing him to draw back, noticing that his eyes are filled with…something you don’t understand.  Concern? He looks upset and you don’t know why.  “Why are you acting like this? Like you don’t know? Like you didn’t know and just wanted to make fun of me?” He only shakes his head, dropping his forehead down to yours.  “I didn’t know.” 

“Liar.” you say, but are unable to push him away.  “Your friend-she told me you were going to mess with me because of my feelings….” he says softly and you huff.  “Yeah…friend? You mean the friend I told all my feelings to, that friend that I told how I was going to confess to you? The friend who stopped speaking to me afterwards and you DATED? That friend?!” You shove him now, memories tearing at the scars.  He winces at your words but you just shake your head.  “I’m changing.” you bite out, gesturing for him to leave.  He crosses his arms, leaning back against the wall.  “Go ahead,” he says.  You turn to glare at him but he only shrugs.  

“You realize I’ve had my face in your-” “OK! FINE.” you yell, blushing at his words. You wiggle out of the dress and toss it at him, turning around. “Who cares, right? I don’t care, it doesn’t matter at all, nope-” Your voice is shrill but you just can’t seem to control it right at the moment.

 “I can explain,” he says calmly, slipping his arms around from behind you, his mouth on your ear.  “Then try to explain.” you say, unable to stop yourself from leaning back into him as he presses against you.  “You’re angry.” he whispers the statement, and you almost scream at the comment.  

“You’re goddamn right I’m angry! Fuck, Yeosang, you make me livid!” you say, spinning in his arms to glare up at him and he just watches you as he holds you.  “I’m standing here in my own fucking bedroom, in my fucking underwear, swearing and pissed off cause you just HAVE to bring up all these ancient fucking-” 

“You’re so fucking hot right now-” he says, then his lips are claiming yours, hoisting your half naked body up against him.  The moan that escapes your throat has you even more angry, but you give in for a moment, letting lust take over.  His kiss makes your head swim and you can’t help but bite his lower lip, but he only presses his body more firmly into yours, his growing arousal very apparent against your lower stomach.  

You grab his hair in your hand and yank it, and he groans as his hands slip down and cup your ass.  “Fucking masochist.” you bite out against his mouth and he laughs softly, nipping your lips.  He backs you up to your bed, but you fight him a bit, not willing to give up ground just yet.  “Can I explain?” he asks, smoothing your hair as he pets you.  “If you think you can.” you counter and he nods, serious now, but not letting you out of his embrace.  

“Your…so called “friend”...she came to me to tell me you were going to ‘confess’ to me but it was just to play with my feelings.” he says, watching your face.  You frown at him, confused.  “Play with your feelings? Why…?”

 “I liked you.” he whispers, his eyes staring off for a moment as if remembering.  “I had it bad for you…so bad.” he sighs, shaking his head.  “She told me…that you liked to play with guys, even showed me some conversations you’d had.  I ….  I guess looking back it was likely fake.” You can only nod as you listen, certain events tickling your memories.  There was a possibility he was telling the truth.  

“I was angry.  Angry, stupid, young, prideful, and…I was hurt.” he says, shaking his head.  “It’s not an excuse for what I said to you, I just…I just want to explain what I thought I knew.  I’m so sorry.” he says, cupping your face, wiping away a tear as you remember with him.

 “When you cried in front of me and ran off…I thought you were just embarrassed that your plan didn’t work.”  he frowns as he looks at you, shaking his head even more.  “I didn’t know… I was so angry at you-....I thought you knew I liked you and-” he stops, and you can feel him shake a little as he holds you.  “I hurt you. I didn’t know…like an idiot, I …” he just blinks at you and you study his face.

“You’re serious.”  you say, and he nods as he looks away, not wanting to meet your eyes now.  “Why did you date her?” you ask, curious.  “She…I thought she was the nice one and I was wrong about you the whole time….we didn’t last long.” he says softly, grimacing.  “She wasn’t very nice after all.” he just says and you nod.  “Yeah, I got that clear as day, ….it actually makes a lot more sense now.” you sigh. “She always was the one asking about little details, wanting to talk about you…”  

You just frown, realizing you’d both completely been misled. Feeling the need to explain as well, you admit,  “I went to college shortly after that, since we graduated, and I made sure I found out where you were going so I didn’t go there.” you tell him and he looks back at you in surprise.

“What?” His eyes look sad now and you feel a pang in your heart about what might have been.  Tamping down on that, you just nod, tucking his hair behind his ear.  “You were my first love and you’d crushed me.  Of course I wanted to avoid you. I never wanted to see you again.” you say and he blinks up at you.  “I was your first love?” he asks, and you pull away, feeling overwhelmed. 

“Stop running from me.” 

“I’m not running, Yeosang.”

“You are. Don’t pull away from me anymore.”

You grab his face with both hands, forcing him to look at you, making his eyes go wide.  “You want me to tell you how I feel? You were my first love and my first heartbreak and I couldn’t even like anyone else because of you, you asshole.” you say into his face as you hold it.  “I despised you, hated you, I never wanted to see your face again.  I never had a boyfriend in college, I never kissed anyone, I avoided men like the plague. I just was hoping to finally get past it.”

“Then I get a job here and who is right in my face when I start? You.  Kang Yeosang.  THE MAN WHO BROKE MY GODDAMN HEART.”  You finally let go, turning to walk away and this time he doesn’t stop you, just watches you go grab your pajamas.  Yanking the shirt over your head, you turn and take a step back as he approaches you.  “Please don’t play with me….I can’t-” you whimper as he pulls you to him.  “I’m not playing with you, I promise.” he whispers, his lips on your cheek.  

“You’re not?” you ask and he just presses his mouth to yours. He just hums against your lips, his tongue running along the seam so you open to him.  Finding yourself warming to the idea that he might actually be for real, you wrap your arms around his neck, letting your tongue seek his out.  

 “Are you dating that guy, Soobin?” he asks abruptly, breaking the kiss and you can’t help but snort out a laugh.  “No…what the fuck…do you think I’d be doing thiings with you if I was dating-” 

“Why were his hands on you?” he growls out and you tilt your head at him.  “Is that why I was getting death glares?” you ask and he nods, lip curling.  “He was holding your hand, touching your back, your face, your hair.  His hands…I wanted to break them…” he hisses and you can’t help but giggle.  

“It’s funny? This is funny to you?” his eyes flash and you bite your lips.  “Kinda…” you say and he lifts you in one swift motion, tossing you onto the bed as you yelp.  “Yeosang!”  he pulls off his jacket and shirt quickly, then he’s crawling on top of you, pinning you down.  “You want me to break some poor boy's hands?” he asks and your eyes go wide.  “Heavens no, ….poor Soob.” You pout up at him and he wrinkles his nose.  “Soob? Don’t say another man’s name in front of me, let alone a nickname you have for him.” he demands and you feel the sudden urge to poke the lion.  

“Oh…. then I shouldn’t bring up the other tall men that are always over-” his growl paired with his weight between your legs  as he shoves his tongue into your mouth silences you and you wrap your arms around his neck.  His frantic, needy kiss softens gradually, and you feel like you’re melting as you run your fingers through the strands of his hair.   “You were mine too…” you hear him whisper between kisses, then he’s nuzzling you as he pulls back to hover over you.  “Hm?”

“You were my first love.” he says more clearly, his eyes wandering over your face.  “I wish I’d believed you…that I-we could have…if only-” “Shut up.” you tell him and his eyes go wide.  “You deserve that.” you glare at him and he just nods at you, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.  He lets himself fall beside you, pulling you to him so you’re curled up facing each other, side by side.  

“I do.” he whispers, planting kisses along your jaw.  “First love. Sounds so stupid.” you murmur and he nods.  “It does.” He pulls your leg up over his thigh, hand sliding up your bare skin. “Idiot high school kids.” you whisper as his touch makes you shiver.  “Mmm idiots…” he mutters, nuzzling your neck and you can’t help but giggle at him.  “Are you just going to agree with everything I say now?” He pulls back to look at you with a completely serious face.  “Maybe.” is all he says and you throw your head back to laugh loudly.  

“And here I thought you liked me angry…” you tease and a thrill washes over you as his eyes darken.  “Do you want me to get angry with you?” you ask him, and his breathing deepens as he watches you with hooded eyes.  “I want to push you away when I’m angry.” you state attempting to do exactly that, but his hands are gripping you tightly.  “I won’t let you.” he tells you, tilting his head and letting his lips hover over yours.  The sensation of his breath on your lips has your throat dry and you whisper huskily, “Do you realize how wet you’re making me right now?” before you can stop yourself.  

The sound that escapes his throat has you already pulsing, drenching your panties even more.  His mouth tries to claim yours, but you draw back just enough to deter him.  His hand slips down your back, his strong fingers digging into your ass as he holds you against him, his erection against your panties as he grinds himself into you.  “I want to feel you…see you…how hard you are…” you whisper and he whimpers against your lips, his cock throbbing against you. 

 “Do you want to feel how soaking wet I am for you?” you ask boldly, even as your cheeks heat up from your impulsiveness.  “Yes, fuck…please…” he begs and you run your hands over his bare chest, your palms skimming over his nipples, causing him to shudder.  Dipping your hand between your bodies, you unbutton his pants as you run your tongue over his bottom lip.  One of his hands is pulling your nightshirt up, fingers unhooking your bra desperately.  

 “Do you want me?” you ask him and he hums against your mouth, both of you playing this game now.  Lips barely touching, teasing at each other as you grow bolder with every statement, each question.  “I want you so, so much…” he groans, and you let one of your hands slip down, unbuttoning his pants, tugging the zipper down as he draws back to look down at what you’re doing.  His panting increases as you slip your hand into the opening, your fingers slowly taking in his full length through the fabric of his underwear.  

“I want to touch you…” you breathe out, letting your hand delve down to cup him fully and he lets out a long moan.  “I want to feel everything…” you murmur, both of you watching as you pull down the material between you and him.  He takes his hands off you long enough to quickly shove his pants and underwear down, then he’s yanking your nightshirt over your head with your bra.  

Your hands immediately reach for him, one slipping down to cup his sack, the other wrapping around the base of his cock.  The noises coming from him encourage you as you stroke upwards, your eyes taking in his naked body, then flicking up to watch his face contort in pleasure.  Letting your thumb run over the tip, you can’t help but gasp as the wetness leaks from him.  His hand is gripping your ass tightly, as if he’s holding on for dear life, his hips jerking a little as you guide your hand back down.  “I want to make you feel like you make me feel….” you tell him and his head jerks up at your words.  He finally gives in and takes your mouth with his, tiny whines coming from his throat as you gently knead his sensitive balls.  

“Can you…cum like this?” you ask between kisses and the choked laugh he lets out has you pulling back from his mouth.  His words are clipped as  he says, “It’s taking- everything I have NOT to cum right now- FUCK-” The way his voice is shaking, the vein in his neck standing out has you trembling in excitement, feeling powerful.  “Yeosang…I want you so deep inside of me…” you whisper and he shudders, the hand on your ass grabbing ahold of your panties.  

You let out a shocked yelp as he just tears them with a yank, throwing the useless garment aside as he pulls your hand from him.  His mouth swallows your whine at the motion, but then he’s pressing against you, his hand cupping your naked breast.  “You’re fucking killing me-” he growls, his arm around your waist tightening, then he’s rolling on his back.  You straddle him as he lifts his hips, grinding  himself against your aching core. His eyes close at the sensation of your heat against him and he lets out a tiny little whine as you slide along him, your moisture coating the underside of his length.  

“Fuck…don’t stop doing that…” he murmurs, grabbing your hips to urge you on. “I need you so much…Yeosang….I…” you moan, gasping as he opens his eyes to look up at you.  It almost undoes you, the lust, the need swirling in his intense depths.  The emotion that washes over you threatens to suffocate, almost smothering you.  Mixed with the intensity of his physical touch, you find yourself shaking from how vulnerable you feel with him.

“I don’t want to be just someone you mess around with.” you whisper in his ear. You lift yourself, placing your hands on his chest so you can look down at him.  “I can get that anywhere…I can find someone else-” The way his eyes darken has you halting your words as he sits up, yanking you against him.  Grabbing the back of your neck, he pulls your face to his. “Noone else can touch you.” he growls against your mouth, his angry, jealous eyes searching yours.  “Promise me.” he demands and you frown even as you moan from his touch.  

“Yeosang…then what am I to you? Tell me-” “You’re mine.  MINE.” he nips your lip, his tongue following up the bite.  “Does that mean you're mine as well?” you ask him softly, and his eyes seem to intensify even more as you move against him.  His fingers dig into your asscheek as he lifts you, his breathing ragged as he positions you over his cock.  You grab onto his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself, feeling his body shake under you as you stretch around him.  You can’t keep the soft cries from escaping as he stretches you, letting you take your time to sink down onto him.  

“Are you? Are you mine, Yeosang?” your voice shakes as you repeat the question and he moans as you seat yourself completely on him.  “Yes, fuck yes, I’m yours.” his husky voice manages and you quiver at the ache of how deep he’s buried inside of you.  “Mine,” you whisper into his ear.  The rumble of desire from his chest as you rise then fall onto him, slowly rolling your hips to test what feels good, has you already pulsing around him.  “You feel-oh god…you feel so good- I can’t even think-” he stammers as you roll your hips to see how he responds. His hands clench on your hips as he bites his lip, and you just watch his gorgeous face as you try to control your emotions. 

“Yeosang…” you whisper shakily and he tips his head back to watch you, taking you in as you ride him slowly.  “Beautiful…...” he whispers back, hand splaying over your back as his mouth captures your nipple.  The cry you let out has him sucking a little harder, drawing out a yelp at the sting.  Your fingernails dig into his shoulders as he gives the same treatment to the other stiff bud and you increase the pace, trying to quench the burning need deep within your womb.  

“Oh god…oh god…feels…feels-so….” you cry out, quickening your pace, the wet sound of your bodies meeting intensifies your pleasure.  “Yeah?... You like it? ….You like- riding my cock?” he rasps out and you cry out in response, his dark eyes not leaving you as you hold onto him, riding him harder and faster with every word he says.  “Love it…oh god-you’re going- ..t-tt-to…make me….oh -oh.” you shudder, your walls fluttering around him and he bites his lip as he watches you.  “That’s it-fuck…oh fuck…come around my cock…that’s it…that’s it..come…come- come for me….” he is urging you, and you scream out his name as his voice tips you over the edge.  

You clench around him tightly, your whole body spasming as you arch back and he has to hold onto you to steady you as you quake from the impact of the orgasm.  Before you’re even through it, he flips you over quickly, not even slipping out of you as he continues to thrust into you.  “Oh god oh fuck!” you scream, holding onto him desperately as he starts to control the pace.  “Fuck, I..I want to be gentle…but …fuck-I don’t know- if-” his voice is shaking and you grasp his hair in your fingers, tugging it harshly as you look up at him.  

“You said I’m yours-” you manage around the intensity of the way he’s plunging into you, “make me …yours-fuck me, Yeosang!” The whimper this statement extracts from him encourages you, and you can’t help but urge him on.  “Y-your cock feels so good-oh-! F-f-fuck me…make me feel it- t-t-tomorrow-make it so I ACHE when you’re not-h-here–” his whines and moans are mixing with your words as he drops down on you, pinning one of your arms as he yanks your leg up to drive himself deeper.  

“So tight-” he moans out, droplets of sweat beading on his forehead as he looks down between you, to where your bodies meet, to watch himself pound into you. You push the strands of hair hanging down back on his forehead and lean up to bring your mouth to his, swallowing his moans with your own.  You’re both sweaty, messy, the noises coming from both of you are completely animalistic at this point.  

You can only hold onto him and shake as he controls the pace, and you know he’s getting close as his whole body starts to jerk and occasionally lose the steady rhythm he’s set. You can feel your own climax creeping up, the tight sensation in your abdomen threatening to snap at any moment.  “Cum- cum …inside-” you manage between your cries and he grits his teeth as you shake beneath him. His moans turn to cries as he watches you, your lips parted as you squeeze your eyes shut and your back arches.  “Oh god oh god oh god-” you start to scream out over and over, soaking him as you clamp like a vise around him.  “Cum with me-oh please-Yeosang! PLEASE -YEOSANG!” you beg and he lets out a deep groan as his body jerks, his hips thrusting him deep within you.  You can feel the flood of his seed filling you as he pulls out slightly just to slam back into you.

“Ah fuck-f-f-fffuck-” he whines as you wrap your legs around him and tip your hips, making sure to hold him inside of you.  You lift your hips and drop them, then lift again and his eyes fly open as he gasps.  “Oh -f-f-” he shudders, and before you can do it again his lips capture yours for a deep, slow kiss.  You let your hips fall and your legs relax, falling to either side of him.  

His breathing is heavy as he nuzzles into your neck, his body relaxing into yours and you wrap your arms around him, rubbing his back as you both catch your breath. You let out a small whine as he withdraws from you, but then he’s pulling you right back into his arms as he pulls up the covers over you both.  “Mm…” he just murmurs as he presses his lips to your head, and you look up at him sleepily.  

“Is it alright if I stay the night?” he asks you, and you frown at him.  “No.  Please leave.” he just blinks at you as you bite your lips, trying not to laugh.  “Okay.” he says, going to sit up, but you grab him and quickly pull him back, a smirk on his face.  “Jerk, you win this time.” you mumble, and he chuckles as he lets you curl back into him.  “Of course you can stay.” you tell him, looking up at him as he holds you.  

“Yes.” he says, and you give him an odd look, confused.  “Yes?” you ask and he nods, planting a kiss on the tip of your nose.  “Before you even ask, yes.  Yes, I meant everything I said.”  He brushes your hair back and presses a kiss to your lips.  “I don’t want you to worry for a moment about that.”  The relief that washes over you at him telling you that has you tearing up, and you duck your head into his neck to try to cover it.  

“Hey….” he whispers, pulling back, tipping your head up.  “Hey…shhh it’s alright.”  “Ugh…sorry, I don’t know what-” you sniffle, trying to laugh but he’s glaring down at you, quieting you.  “Don’t you dare apologize…tonight was…a lot.  For both of us.” he sighs, his leg slipping between yours as you both wrap around each other.  “Let’s sleep for now…in the morning we can talk, or we can do whatever you want.” 

Totally worn out from the events of the evening, you let your eyelids droop as his voice continues, but you just hear the steady beat of his heart against your ear as he holds you, drifting off to a deep sleep.  

[cascadianights]

"Mental illness and neurodivergence aren't a physical disability" for SOME minority of people that is true! For the rest MAJORITY of people you're spreading the same gaslighting the worst doctors do when they tell you to exercise your way out of crippling anxiety!

"The brain isn't an organ/isn't part of the body" Wrong! I don't know how else to explain this!!! Wrong!!!!!!

"Mental illness/neurodivergence doesn't affect the body or physical ability" Are you??? A real person who's lived on this planet??? Are you being fucking for real with this??? Neurotransmitters and hormones affect EVERY SYSTEM IN THE BODY - in a panic attack your digestion is shut OFF, your whole body is burning energy and going through extreme duress. Depression and fatigue come hand in hand, and not because it's "all in your head." Not being able to leave your apartment for a week due to agoraphobia or schizophrenia affects every single part of your mental and physical health. Not being able to eat for a week because of exteme nausea (physical) from anxiety leads to the same shitty symptoms as if you couldnt due to not being able to physically prep the food (also something that happens with severe mental illness). Not being able to be in the moment or focus because of OCD and intense intrusive thoughts, not being able to concentrate enough to even read or process what's happening, you think those things don't in turn effect hormones and neurotransmitters and how you FEEL and how much energy you have remaining after being on high alert using every square inch of focus just to understand a conversation and communicate? You don't think emotional pain compounds and adds to physical pain and vice versa??? You don't think there's a reason Autism and ADHD have a million physical comorbidities that can be directly connected to living in a state of constant stress, organs shut down, brain and other organs in your body literally not producing the right chemicals or functions - IBS, CFS, stroke, heart attack, diabetes. Why can some of you understand being black or trans in America leads to direct physical health issues and Disability from the constant stress and gatekeeping and lack of resources, but not YOUR LITERAL ORGANS MALFUNCTIONING AND ORDERING EVERY OTHER SYSTEM IN YOUR BODY TO DO SO AS WELL????

The brain is an organ. The brain is one of many many systems affected and interconnected in mental illness/neurodivergence. Severe mental illness and neurodivergence are a full body disability. Full stop. Period. Excluding us is to exclude parts of yourself, it's cutting off the parts of yourself the doctors gaslit about your disorders in order to feel better, it's lateral violence, it's a false barrier since if many of us didn't start w "real physical disabilities" we will have them as a direct result of our mental ones within years. It's nothing but a way to falsely separate yourself from mentally ill and neurodivergent people, and WHY ARE YOU SO ///DESPERATE/// TO DO THAT??? What of those reasons don't come down to self hate or hate at the way doctors and others treated you or just fucking petty intergroup violence you refuse to accept as such based on an author from 50 years ago and some salty Opinions on other people's lived fucking experiences?

Nevermind how many people with mental illness and neurodivergence have other major physical disabilities and try to find community, and are greeted with constant constant separation and DNIs and assumptions? Literal attacks on people with mental illness cast as activism. Do you think your petty divide is WORTH the thousands of people seeing and feeling that immediate rejection of a place that should welcome them w open arms? "They talk over us" HOW MUCH OF THE TIME ARE YOU BLAMING AUTISTICS FOR BEING ANNOYING AND NOT READING THE ROOM INSTEAD OF YOU OR A MODERATOR COMMUNICATING??? AND HOW CAN YOU TALK OVER PEOPLE AT THE SAME LEVEL AS YOU???? Its false fucking dichotomies and lateral aggression and turning the harm done to you on others. That's it. I'm tired of people pretending it's flat out anything else.

[astrid-sama]

Labyrinth of white roses (Effie trinket x fem oc)

Chapter 1)

The harvest

I wake up with the warmth of the sun's rays caressing my face, it's a rare event, usually if I want to sneak away without anyone seeing me I'm forced to get up when there's still the moon in the sky, at first light dawn in district twelve everyone is already at work; today, however, everyone is exempt from work and people sleep late trying not to think that tonight at least two families will mourn the loss of their children.

Today the annual harvest is held, on this day a boy and a girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen will be chosen from each district to participate in the Hunger Games, a deadly game from which only one tribute will emerge alive. At school we kids are taught that the Hunger Games are there to ensure that the Dark Days are not repeated, in reality they are just another way for the Capitol City to assert their dominion over us.

I get out of bed, put on my hunting clothes, kiss my brother on the forehead being careful not to wake him and leave the house as quietly as possible. I arrive on the main road and after making sure that there is no one around I head towards the fence; during the journey I feel my stomach growling, it is normal to be hungry here in district twelve and that is why every day I leave the fence to go hunting, putting my life at risk, between dying of hunger together with my brother and being hanged for betrayal by the peacekeepers I choose the second, it is the least painful option. At the fence I find my friends Gale and Katniss waiting for me, we have been hunting together for more than four years now; the fence should be electrified but here in the twelve there is almost never electricity, one at a time we crawl under the fence taking advantage of a point where it is damaged. According to the Capitol, the fences surrounding the districts are there to prevent wild animals from attacking us, but I think they're there to keep us locked up.

We enter the woods, retrieve our bows and hide among the vegetation waiting for prey to hunt. After almost an hour we have captured three rabbits and a squirrel, we go to hide our bows in an old hollow trunk and start looking for fruit and medicinal herbs; when we have finished the sun is higher in the sky and it is probably just before midday. Before leaving the woods, Gale, Katniss and I take a break sitting on a rocky ledge.

-Girls look what I have here- Gale takes a loaf of bread out of his bag, it seems warm and fragrant, few people can afford such bread.

-But this is real bread! Gale where did you find him?- Katniss said as she grabs the loaf of bread.

-The baker gave it to me in exchange for a squirrel-

-Just a squirrel?!-

I can't help but wonder, the baker is a good person but usually a squirrel isn't enough for a loaf like that.

-Today is harvest day, we are all better-

Gale divides the loaf between the three of us, we eat in silence until Katniss asks a question.

-How many nominations do you have?-

-Thirtyfive-

-Twentyone-

Under normal circumstances a seventeen year old like me should only have five nominations, I have so many because I was forced to trade them for food; my father became ill when I was twelve and died when I was fourteen, but my mother died soon after my brother was born so I found myself having to support both myself and my brother and was forced to apply several times in exchange for food, Gale and Katniss are in the same situation as me.

A few minutes later we set off to return to the enclosure; once we return to the district we go to the black market to barter: we exchange strawberries with the mayor in exchange for a bag of legumes, we exchange the squirrel for matches. After leaving the black market, Katniss, Gale, and I wish each other good luck and part ways.

When I arrive home I find my brother waiting for me, he is dressed in a pair of green jeans and a white shirt, his long black hair is tied in a braid and his green eyes shine with happiness when he sees me.

-Welcome back big sister, how do I look?-

-Elia you are handsome, I bet you will make everyone fall in love with you-

Elia blushes and looks away.

-Big sister it's almost time for the harvest, you should go and change-

I nod, I go to the bathroom and quickly wash both my body and my hair, after drying my hair with a towel I put on my best dress, a light green dress with small white flowers and finally I put on some old brown boots. Elia insists on tying my black hair in a braid like his, when he's finished we go to the square to take part in the grape harvest.

As soon as we arrived we immediately separated, I joined the seventeen year old girls while my brother joined the fourteen year old boys. After all boys and girls eligible to participate have been registered, the harvest ceremony begins; first of all (like every year) the mayor goes on stage and begins to read a long speech in which he explains how the Hunger Games are our just punishment for having rebelled against the Capitol seventy-three years ago; after what seems like hours the mayor finally concludes his speech and gives way on the stage to the Capitol emissary who has the task of escorting the tributes of district twelve to Capitol City Effie Trinket.

-Welcome to the seventy-third edition of the Hunger Games, may luck always be in your favor-

Effie walks very enthusiastically towards the glass bowl containing the pieces of paper with the girls' names written on them.

-As always ladies first-

Effie slowly dips her hand into the glass bowl, pulls out a piece of paper, and returns to the center of the stage; in the seconds preceding the reading of the name of the tribute there is absolute silence.

-The female tribute from district twelve is.... Selene Davidson-

All the girls turn to look at me, some look at me with pity, others with relief. My hands are shaking, my body seems to have turned to marble and even though I know I should go on stage I can't move.

-Darling come here-

Effie Trinket smiles at me and calls me to the stage. I force myself to move and slowly advance towards the stage; I'm trying to hold back the tears, I can't seem weak. Capitol City is watching me.

-And now the male tribute-

I watch Effie take the piece of paper with the name of the male tribute and hope that the name is neither Elia nor Gale.

-The male tribute from District Twelve is... Alexander Morgan-

Alexander is a fifteen year old boy with curly red hair and a weak physique, you can clearly see how terrified he is; once he gets on stage he starts sobbing.

-Now a big round of applause for our tributes-

Nobody claps their hands, silence is the only act of protest allowed. After the harvest we are taken into the courthouse and given some time to say goodbye to our friends and family. I'm sitting on a velvet sofa when the door opens and Elia comes in, hugs me and starts sobbing with his head resting on my shoulder. For a while we remain hugged without saying anything, then Elia dries his tears and begins to speak.

-Win big sister and come back to me, I know you can do it-

-Elia I-

-No Selene don't say you can't win, you are an expert hunter you know how to use a bow and knives perfectly and you also know both edible and medicinal plants-

-You're right, I promise I will do everything to come back-

I try to sound confident but in reality I don't think I have much chance of returning home, after all what can a weak little girl from district twelve with a bow (if there is a bow) do against a volunteer from district one who weighs twice as much as she. A short time later, peacekeepers arrive and take Elia away and let Gale and Katniss in in his place. We hug each other, resigned to the idea that this will be our last meeting.

-Guys remember the promise we made to each other, don't let Elia die of hunger! Take him with you into the woods, teach him to hunt, please don't abandon him-

Some time ago the three of us had made a pact, if ever one of us was chosen as a tribute the others would be taken care of by his family.

-Don't worry, we'll take care of Elia, you think about winning-

-Certain-

A short time later the peacekeepers took Katniss and Gale away, I was escorted out of the courthouse and taken to the train that would take me to the Capitol City.

This is the first chapter of my fanfiction "Labyrinth of white roses", I will publish all the chapters of the fanfiction on Ao3 with the name "Labyrinth of white roses".

These are my fanfiction characters created with artificial intelligence:

Selene

Elia

Alexander

[pynkhues]

How do you deal with feeling left out and wishing that ur relationship with your family was as close as it you used to be and accepting that things probably would never be the same and that’s OK 😞

I'm really sorry that you're experiencing that and feeling that way, anon. Families are complicated and can go through many states of flux, especially as you get older, and yes, things might never be the same as what they were, but that doesn't mean that things are going to be worse forever.

One of the things that I think life has taught me is that relationships are always evolving and changing in ways that you can impact, but rarely control. You can help to steer a ship but not dictate the waters you're sailing in, y'know? And as you get older, that tide can turn as a result of so many things, from a family member or friend's new relationship, to children, to a job interstate or overseas, to an injury or illness, to a divorce, to a dividing of political opinion, to the sheer fact of competing priorities in life, and you can't really predict where your relationships might end up. All you can do is keep showing up for those that matter most to you, and leave the door open for them in return.

Like, gosh, me and my sister had a huge, very ugly falling out back in 2020 to which there was a period of time where we both thought our relationship would never recover, and we stand here four years later closer than we've ever been in our entire lives. We talk so often now that not talking yesterday because we were both so hectic busy had my sister joking about having withdrawals from us not speaking when she rang me today, haha.

The flipside of course is that things won't always get better. I've had that experience too, with my father, with a friend, with partners, and how you cope with that - - I don't know. It'll depend on you, it'll depend on the relationship. You grieve, I think that's important, but you also need to decide what your boundaries are for the future, and what you're open to. With my father, I decided that I would always leave the door open for him, which is why I had dinner with him a couple of nights ago for the first time in two years. That's complicated, and involves messy feelings, and I know many others would not extend the same to him - my brother doesn't, my sister does, and plenty of my friends tell me to go no contact with him - but I know who I am and who he is, and I make that choice actively and - now, after many years - make it knowing it'll have an effect on me emotionally for days if not weeks after I see him, which I'm currently navigating.

We're getting into overshare territory here, haha, but all I can say is that relationships going backwards doesn't mean they won't go forwards again. Understanding that you can help steer a ship but not control the waters you're sailing is important too - pick your battles, find ways to try and connect if that's what you want, try to stay in touch even if someone's rejecting your calls (it's honestly part of what fixed my sister and my's relationship), but also just focus on your own life while, if you want it, keeping the door open for them too.

Let your family evolve, let it regress, let it exist as it is, and lean into friends, lean into comfort art, food, places, sport, explore community outside of your family, whether that be online or off (although I encourage off where you can), and know that if you're feeling a change now, other people in your family probably are too, so. Yeah. Talk to them about it if you can. 💖

[lordgrimwing]

On Glorfindel and surviving the Helcaraxë

Crossing the Helcaraxë is not easy. Hard does not even begin to describe the enormity of the undertaking or the torment of the Noldor upon the ice. When they reach Middle-earth, when they finally step off that barren waste dividing Arda from Aman, they are changed. Their families and friends back home might struggle to recognize them: they wear thick furs, crudely stitched together with sinew; their hair lays long and limp, dull in the sunlight and fragile in their hands; their bodies are thin, worn down to pallid skin stretched over the bones of their faces. Yet in their eyes, a pale light gleams, the light of the trees shining out of them, sustaining them just one step further.

The Sindar looked upon them with awe. These tall elves with features sharp as a blade, who did the unthinkable and crossed the endless ice desert, mighty and powerful.

Things get better in Middle-earth. They have food now and their waisted bodies fill in again with muscle. But the land is at war, and they are at war with a great darkness that crushes down on them at every turn. Conflict keeps them lean, keeps all but the barest layer of fat away. Gone are the soft curves and full faces they wore in Aman.

Years roll on. The other peoples look upon the Noldor—the fiercest fighters—the bravest warriors—the most skilled crafters—and cannot help but admire them, even if grudgingly at times. Among the Sindar, first to see them in their glory, a fashion slowly grows for slender bodies, prominent cheekbones, and sharp eyebrows.

For some, crossing the Helcaraxë changed more than their bodies. They looked after each other on the ice, called out dangerous patches, fended off strange predators, and always shared what they found. Either they all ate, or no one did. If there was not enough food for a mouthful each, they gave it to the weakest. Anyone caught taking more than their share or trying to hide a small animal they caught was swiftly punished. Even after centuries in Middle-earth, some of them cannot set aside what they learned in the bitter cold.

In Gondolin, and in truth long before then, Glorfindel makes a name for himself. Turgon sets him as a lord, and he bends himself to the duties as loyally as he had to any task given him. As a lord, he takes part in ceremonies and celebrations. He laughs with the festivities and always leaves the high table as soon as he can without giving offense after eating. He finds a guard of his house who for some reason or another must stand watch throughout the night. With nods and words of encouragement, he sends them away to be with their friends and takes their place. Standing guard is quiet and dull for nothing ill troubles the hidden city, but he cannot bear to sit longer near the tables ladened with food after he’s taken what he needs. The Gondolindrim know him as the golden-haired lord of the House of the Flower, noble and kind and always among the first to leave a feast.

He is in good company, though, as Ecthelion follows a few minutes later, waiting just long enough to not appear to flee.

In Valinor, Glorfindel does not recognize the body the Valar give him. It is foreign to him now with its curves and soft cheeks that rise into his eyes when he smiles and laughs. Only the faintest traces of his face look back at him when he gazes upon his reflection. But the body is warm and comfortable despite the foreignness, and deep down, something in him almost recognizes and remembers how it felt to wear this form in distant, tree-lit days. It is nice in a way he has not felt in a very long time.

There is some confusion after Manwë sends him back to Middle-earth. Those who did not know him in his first life, who heard only the stories, believed him to be the noble lord and balrog slayer returned. Those who’d seen him in life—and the pain in his heart is sharp when he realizes those he counted as his friends are no longer in that number and all fell while he lingered in Valinor—express doubt at first for he looks so very little like the elf they recall. It takes little time to show them he is who he claims to be: Glorfindel of the House of the Flower, Envoy of the Valar to High King Gil-Galad.

If any still hold some small doubt hidden in their hearts, it is erased by the end of the Second Age, for Glorfindel looks just as he did in Gondolin.

[definitelynotshouting]

hihi ok ok a lot of thinksies incoming

the fact that grian realized he was drawing on everyone while he was asleep and decided to not sleep and ended up having a panic attack and accidentally amplifying scar and xisuma's feelings to the same level its like.. living with a mental illness. you can't be passive and ignore it (which for grian would mean sleeping and hoping he can just *not* do it) but you also can't be aggressive and try to get rid of it (which for grian is not sleeping) you just have to learn to live with it and have it not harm you or other people (which he hasnt found yet)

+ i am loving that we are seeing more of his memories from being with the watchers but not as a flashback but in parallels from present to past (+the past repeats itself) + also your similies/metaphors are delicious "To skirt past the edge of death and fly, a blind and unwitting moth, toward the bright, unspoiled future", "a creeping, crawling notion that the world no longer makes sense, fits poorly around one's shoulders. Like a worn, childhood coat, stained with the devastating loss of innocence" and "he's pressed a knife to every promise he's ever made since the day he emerged, digging into sinew until each fitful thread snaps. His existence lies in the shadows of these distorted fractures, jagged hopes and dented dreams, forever fated to cut his hands on the fragments. Holding them together has never been a permanent solution; all it ever does is make him bleed." to name a few + HEHEHE IMAGINING MUMBOS IMMACULATE MOUSTACHE

also i might just be vibibg this but i think out of everyone tango feels a sort of parental obligation to grian. hes worried he'll stop breathing in the night, he gets him out of his room, he beams when grian smiles. pearl and mumbo have the sort of betrayed sibling feeling, scar is still trying to hold everything together and xisuma is harbouring the guilt of being the guy who kicked him for the good of the server because they were also good friends. tango has ideas of what is good for grian but being peers ig? also doesn't want to go over what grian wants too much. tango is a little more divided from the others, hes here for jimmy and grian getting better extends to everyone else in their immediate party and further back to hermitcraft and to jimmy and joel and lizzie and everyone

"this would all be so much simpler if nobody cared. But they do, because they're good people" this. this is so bhersnfkksd cause im no stranger to suicidal thoughts and its spot on but then ALSO grian attributing it to their being good people rather than his friends and his saying "they're good people" as if he isn't a good person is so telling in his self loathing

"He senses more than sees Tango level him with an appraising look. As if Grian is a redstone problem in need of solving, of only finding the right tinker to make him function again." i love this. the dynamic of one cahracter being techy/handy in some way and wishing they could fix someone because its so much harder making a person ok again

also also it is so important to me that scar can recognise grian's needs as having wings and can say that they haven't been taken care of and are probably uncomfy but grians so wallowed in his self hatred and refuses to allow himself fundamental upkeep

+ TANGO VOICE IS DELICIOUS

"Grian hesitates. It's somehow both sooner and later than he'd thought he'd have, but… he can make it work. He has to." gODSS he doesnt want to go quite yet because hes suddenly reconnected with these people he lost and it would've been so much easier if he had never reconnected with them in the first place but its so hard to want to die and then be faced with death because all of a sudden you're thinking about that cake you'll never get to bake and wishing death came before you thought of baking a cake

+ tango is our like relief character ig? he doesnt bring all the same weight and its so amazing because a) i love tango b) hes able to be lighthearted and joke and hope and its so necessary with everyone else drowning (even if no one can really tell scar is falling apart)

"Despite the distance and heartbreak between them, Grian knows how the hermits work." MAN. the way he can tell where people have walked and what theyve done, its such a cool mechanic + i giggled a bit knowing Scar made the doorknobs of copper he has a very healthy diet of it /silly

"Tango gives him another one of those long, appraising looks. Then, before Grian can unclench his jaw to ask, Tango pulls back altogether, bringing his other hand up to twist the cork. It frees from the bottle's mouth with a musical plop, and without the faintest twitch in expression, Tango smoothly offers it out again." THIS!! its sad because in a way you know tango hoped grian would be able to open the bottle himself at some point but its also sweet because hes willing to help and take care of grian until that comes

+ grian relishing in the loneliness. sometimes it is just such a privelige to let yourself be sad or lonely for a bit. dont know why

as always its been an absolute treat to read your writing!! boy this is a long one.. thanks for feeding us :P

-🍁

I cannot come up with a coherent response to this rn but !!!!! Please know i am so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ abt this omg!!! This is so sweet and i love love love seeing analysis of my writing it just makes me so excited to see what you guys pick up from it :] this made my night omg thank u

[vexia]

Thinking about the Rescue Bots AU in which Cody was raised by Morocco:

They live on an uninhabited island in the Atlantic Ocean.

Due to Morocco's dangerous experiments, the island is divided into two parts: home and laboratory.

Cody spends most of his day (and life in general) in the home section, being homeschooled by specially programmed artificial intelligence.

Cody almost never meet humans beside his father’s closest allies, so the only kid in his age he knew until Griffin Rock was Priscilla (and all things consider, they get along quite well).

This is Cody of course, so he couldn't be himself if he didn’t meet and adopted Cybertronian. So of course he has one! And once again it’s ours (or maybe only mine XD) favorite grumpy panther, Quickclaw. As in other incarnations, he can change his size,  become invisible and use holoform to disguise himself as a Alaskan Malamute to always stay close to Cody.

Cody suffers from the hyper-empathy syndrome, so whenever he is away from home or around other humans, he wears earphones that have been specially developed by Morocco to isolate sounds and modify them accordingly to limit their potentially negative impact on the boy.

Despite his illness, he is curious about people, their traditions and life. She enjoys visiting new places and observing the lives of ordinary people. He reads a ton of books on the traditions of individual cultures and their history.

He loves and cares for his father, he is the only human family member he knows of (he also treats Quickclaw as a family member). He had a great respect for him (even though someone can mistake it for fear), trying everything not to disappoint him (even if Morocco’s standards are quite high).

He is very good at languages. In addition to English, he knows 8 other languages: Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, German, French, Arabic, Russian, Portuguese, Hindi and is still trying to learn more (Quickclaw teaches him the Cybertronian language). Morocco often uses his talent to translate things for him, and Cody is happy to be useful to his father.

Cody enjoys drawing and singing (and he is pretty good at it). Whenever he sees flower/animal/thing he finds interesting, he draws it on his tablet (on which he also keeps a journal where he writes down his thoughts on every topic).

His hair is usually tied in a bun but regardless of his hairstyle, he always has a pin in his hair, which is his only memento of his mother.

He inherited almost all of his appearance from his mother and he treats every comparison to her as a compliment (because according to his mother's stories, she was a beautiful and wonderful woman).

Thanks to Quickclaw's presence, Morocco has a better knowledge of Cybertronian technology, so his robots are more advanced than in the show + they are powered by Energon, which is located in the basement of the island (Quickclaw helps to look for it, because he needs it to survive after all).

With basics like this, let’s cover some events at their first visit on Griffin Rock:

Morocco first arrives at Griffin Rock after the Rescue Team rescued Professor Anna Baranova, so not much later than in the series (and Frankie knows about Bots being an aliens). Morocco's plan remains essentially the same as in the series but he brings Cody along with him to show him where his mother lived before she died.

After their arrival, Morocco allows Cody to go to the Blossom Vale to look at some flowers or whatever (he doesn’t really care, he only tells Cody to come to the town hall around 13.00 and no to wonder around the main part of the town to this time).

He is accompanied by Quickclaw in the form of an Alaskan Malamute, reaching almost to Cody's shoulders (and it looks kind of funny).

While sketching the landscape he is noticed by Frankie who was collecting plants from Blossom Vale to her school project.

Frankie looked at the boy near the waterfall. She believed she didn’t see him before on the island. His long, golden hair tied up in a bun covered on of his eyes. But the other was clearly visible. Gray. The girl had never seen person with this color of iris. She had read that it was one of the rarest color human eyes can have. He was wearing an elegant, long, light gray suit jacket that accentuated his eyes. The red accessories matched the red stones that were visible against the sunlight in the jewelry pinned into her hair, though she couldn't get a good look at it from this distance. He was clearly sketching something, snuggled up in the fur of the dog lying right behind him. If it weren't for the dog's darker accents and that red jewelry, she probably wouldn't have noticed the boy in that fur in the first place. His mouth moved sometimes, probably talking to his dog.

She took few steps ahead. She wanted to talk. He looked like a really nice person and it was a rarity to see someone new on the Griffin Rock, especially in her own age. She came closer and closer. The dog raised its head and looked at her with narrowed eyes. Yet it didn’t do anything. Only observed as she approached them. Yet, the boy didn't seem to notice her.

“Hi!” Frankie finally said, getting close enough for the boy to hear him.

He looked at her, clearly surprised by her presence. He scanned her for a while, almost immediately  smiling afterwards. “Hi.” He answered, little awkwardly.

“Can I?” She asked, pointing her head at the dog. The boy needed few seconds to understand what she meant to say.

“Yes- Yes of course. He won’t do anything.” He confirmed and his dog lowered it’s head, reassuring his words. Frankie sat down near, in front of him.

“I’m Frankie.” She said. “And you are?”

“Cody. My name is Cody. It’s nice to meet you.” His smiled grew little wider. It felt so right to know each other’s names. He only introduced himself and she already had that feeling that he would be a very good friend. Like they were destined to be friends…

Cody tells her that he came here for a vacation with his father (even though his father came for the business reasons).

They talk a while about hobbies and Frankie tells him a lot about entire island, her family and the famous “Family of Heroes”.

When she ask Cody to tell him something about his father, their conversation gets cut by Boulder and Graham, who came to look for Frankie.

As the bot took one step closer, Quickclaw became to growl. It was clear to Boulder that this dog hated him, even though he didn’t knew why. Every other animal on the island liked him and he would never threaten Quickclaw’s owner. He didn’t get it. Boulder observed as Cody petted him on the base of the neck.

“Shhh, calm down. It’s alright.” He hummed and the dog's growling began to slowly subside. “He seems like a nice Bot.” He added, looking into Boulder’s optic. The last comment felt so strange, like the golden haired knew he was- “Are you Cybertronian?” He asked. Frankie and Graham exchanged nervous glances.

Frankie tries to come up with a quick lie saying that this is a robot created by her dad.

Cody pretends to buy it because he doesn't want to upset someone he's just met and gets along with very well.

When Cody says he's going to meet his father at the town hall, Frankie offers to walk him off and promises to show him around Griffin Rock. He happily accepts her offer.

When the five of them get under the office, rivalry between Rescue Bots and Morbot was already set.

“What are waiting for Doctor. You get your deal, now get lost!” Kade shouted, visible angry at this entire idea. Competition with a stupid machine. Laughable .

"Have some respect, young man." Morocco said looking at his pocket watch. It's 1:00 p.m. "I'm just meeting someone." He looks to the side, smiling after seeing approaching group. "Oh, there you are!" He said in his characteristic, theatrical manner.

While the others took the curious look at the boy Morocco was pointing to, Charlie looked like he had seen a ghost.  It was impossible. The blond and his dog got closer to the Morocco and Doctor delicately put the boy on his head, rubbing his hair and saying something to him. Charlie didn’t hear what they were talking about, froze in place.

“Be nice son, introduce yourself.” He encouraged Cody, putting his hand on his shoulder. The boy simply nodded and turned his face towards the gathering.

“I’m Cody Morocco, it’s pleasure to meet you all. Especially the famous Family of Heroes.” He smiled, bowing gently.

Chief was able to take a closer look on the jewelry holding his bun. Silver hair stick with the figure of the haw at the top end, with a crescent moon and a sun above its beak. A long chain protruded from under its wings on both sides, at the end of which were comets with two tails. Their center and hawk's eyes were filled with rubies. He could recognized it everywhere. It was a gift he gave to his dead wife almost 15 years ago. It was impossible. If Cody had it that would have meant-

“Is everything alright, sir?” Boys voice got him out of his thoughts. He looked into his eyes. Even though the irises color was different, Charlie could see the familiar softness and kindness in those eyes. He gingerly shook the boy's outstretched hand, skin equally delicate, exactly the same shade. It was her son. Their son.

“Yes Cody. Everything is alright. Thanks for your concern-“

"Forgive him for his meddling, Chief Burns," Morocco cut in, placing his hand on the boy's head again. "Cody has a natural ability to sense people's emotions. Unfortunately, he sometimes has a problem with tact." Even thought he tried to make his voice as gentle and playful as possible, the clear growl could be heard.

In that moment, Frankie didn’t envy him in the slightest.

(…)

“Goodbye! ” Cody said in Cybertronian language and waved to the Rescue Bots. Along with Quickclaw entered the elevator, which took them to the balloon. The bots just stared at each other in shock.How did this boy know their native language?

.

.

.

This is all I have for now. It's much longer than it was supposed to be. Maybe I will write something more in the future, I will see. If you have any ideas, don’t be shy and share them UwU

PS.: This is what the hair stick Cody wears looks like:

[katsudondom]

I need to vent, sorry

long post incoming :)

↓

Yeah, I feel that I was born in the wrong generation

And no, I don't think I'm special or anything for saying that.

Like, do people think I want to feel like an outcast whenever I'm around a group of people that are the same age as me? Because I'd trade my interests and niches any day if it meant I could finally feel what it's like to have a group of friends by my side, or a partner holding my hand.

And yes, I do have many criticisms about certain aspects of modern technology and social media, but I don't downright hate it or dismiss the good that came from modern technology/the Internet entirely. If anything, I'd love to be born when the Internet was just starting to walk, when it wasn't as popular yet and when you were considered a nerd for even owning a computer. That'd be an amazing time to be alive, until "normies" (cant find a better word sorry I know it's cringe) started making the Internet more mainstream and later on it being the #1 reason why Americans are more stupid and self-centered then ever (in my personal opinion).

I'm more so disconnected with my generation because of the culture, not modern technology.. A generation where we believe in anything without doing any research or seeing different perspectives first, a generation that's easily brainwashed into believing anything, a generation that's so sure that their opinion is right that they'll even ruin someone else's life or ridicule them into oblivion just because the other person thinks differently. That's the reason why I feel like I don't belong with my generation, not because "ew social media".

Actually, that's not the whole reason why-

I also really just love the grunge/rock culture of the 90's, and the scene/emo culture of the early 2000's. It all felt like a community back then, like wherever you were at there'd be people accepting you with open arms, no matter who you were or what you looked like, ready to have you join their clique people that just liked the same shit as you do.

Nowadays, there doesn't even feel like a community anymore, even within your own culture. Everyone's divided, everyone's prejudice, and everyone can't put their differences aside and at least co-exist with each other. This "you're with me or against me" mentality is getting old real fast. Instead, let's have thoughtful and provoking conversations with each other, instead of being quick to go on social media and wishing ill to the white kid in your History class just because he wore a red hat that you happened to disagree with.

Idk, it's all just really silly.

I was just scrolling down watching YouTube when I saw a video calling people like me who think they're in the wrong generation "annoying" and I had to vent since it actually triggered me a bit, ngl, because just by looking at the thumbnail where they put a bunch of modern technologies and had "modern" in bold letters with the word being crossed out, I knew what points they were going to make, and I just needed to vent about how not everyone who feels like an outcast is trying so hard to be different.... It's 99% the complete opposite and I just always hated that stereotype from people who obviously have it way better in life, from people who clearly don't understand what it's like to be almost invisible even when you try so hard to be liked/seen to the point where you fantasize about a time you weren't even born in because "what if?".

Shit, I'm done, needed to get that off my chest and the only way I'd feel good about it is by posting it online. Scared to put tags on this because half of the criticisms about Gen Z that I wrote about relate to about 99% of Tumblr users, so I might piss someone off but fuck it, I want my voice to be heard and no one will probably care to read this anyway.

And yes, I know there's other teens/young adults out there like me, who has the same mindset as I do. I don't think that I'm the only special snowflake that feels this way, but it's so fucking hard finding someone who sees the world the same way as I do, that it does make me feel a bit like I am the only one.

Anyway,

Goodnight 🖤

[twilightmalachite]

Cruise - Survival 1

Author: Akira

Characters: Natsume, Sora, Tsumugi

Translator: Mika Enstars

Proofers: rui

"…Now, how does Sora build a house?"

Season: Summer

Location: Tropical Island Sandy Beach

⚠️ This chapter is not yet JP Proofread!

Natsume: …SiGH.

I'm at a loSS, there's really nothing we can dO. At minimUM, I’llcontact ES and have them come collect us as soon as possibLE. FortunateLY, my smartphone seems to have signAL.

Tsumugi: Ah, yes, you're right. Let's contact our agency as soon as possible.

And also… Before the sun sets, it’d be in our best interest to put together a place where we can rest for the time being, right?

Sora: Hmm? Why? Aren't we going to get picked up?

Tsumugi: We are. But even if we contact ES now and their rescue team hurries on over, it'd take at least three days, or even a week, depending on the policies and procedures.

In situations like this, it's better to assume and prepare for the worst-case scenario.

Sora: Haha~! Understood! Sora will do his best, then! How can he help?

Tsumugi: Let's establish the bare necessities and divide it between ourselves. Fufu, Sora-kun's positive attitude sure does save us. Right, Natsume-kun?

Natsume: ……

Tsumugi: Natsume-kun?

Sora: ? Shisho~? Is Shisho~ okay?

Tsumugi: Are you tired? In that case, please go rest in the shade, Natsume-kun. We can take care of the rest.

Natsume: No, it's okAY. The heat's just making me a bit tirED… I'm alrigHT, and I'll help out tOO.

Tsumugi: Hmm… If you say so. But if you ever feel you're not, please take a break, okay?

Alright, let's split the work…

Sora: HiHi~! Alright, Sora's going to work hard to build a house!

……

…Now, how does Sora build a house?

Hmm~, Sora's stumped~. He isn't a carpenter, so he has no house-building experience. Ummm~…?

Ah, got it! First, he has to figure out the floor plan~. Sora can draw on the beach with this wooden stick! ☆

HuHu~, then if he stacks big stones up like bricks along the lines, he can make walls~!

So if Sora does that… From here~… to over here will be the living room we can all gather ‘round in~…

And here's the kitchen~… Where should Shisho~, Senpai, and Sora's room be? Hmm~, this is hard~…

Tsumugi: Let's see… Ah, this block of wood seems to be dry, just right. Now I just need a thin wooden stick… Oh, this one here should do.

Hmm~… I've seen them do it on TV, but is it really possible to start a fire like this…?

Well, might as well give it a try.

Thirty minutes later…

Tsumugi: Haah… Hah…!

I can't do it…! Not a single puff of smoke! How in the world did our ancestors go about starting fires!?

Hah~… I guess I really am too old for this, huh~? My arms are heavy from fatigue.

Ugh… And on top of that I'm sticky and uncomfortable…

Ah, ow! Sweat got in my eyes…!

How come it has to sting so badly? …This is no good, let's take a small break.

…Hm? Oh, it's a little crab.

Fufu, the little white pattern across its red body reminds me of Natsume-kun~. I feel a sense of kinship. Nice to meet you, Crabtsume-kun! ♪

Oh! It's holding both its pinchers up~!

Umm… Does it want something? A handshake, maybe? My hand is too big, so here, I'll use a finger…

Agh!? Why are you pinching me!? Ow ow ow ow!?

Please let go, it hurts~!!

Meanwhile…

Natsume: SiGH… I was told to look for something that we can use as foOD, bUT… Where on earth do I begIN…?

On the beach you'll find nothing but dried-up seaweed scattered aboUT. WeLL, in a pinch I suppose this can be edibLE…

(HmM… I'm sure there's lots of seafood in the sEA, bUT… I have no clue how to catch any without fishing geAR.)

(It's when things like this happen that you're able to truly realize how much we benefit from the convenience of modern civilizatiON.)

UgH… So hOT… And I feel it's just getting hotter and hotter into the afternoON.

Ahh, now that I recaLL, didn't Senpai mention that you can fall ill during the hottest hours of the dAY? No doubt about thAT, this heat really is unlike any othER…

But either wAY, food won't just come to me if I’m only waiting around on the beaCH, so I have to figure out some other way to secure soME.

← prev | story directory | next →

[thattallqueerbassistresources]

What to Take Notes On For Your Fanfiction (and how to do that)

Outline

A roadmap, a reminder, and a reference.

This is arguably the most important one. If you have a start and end goal, even if its vague or a "wherever the words take me", its good to know where your plot points are, any moments you want to build up to, or something you want to foreshadow.

It can also be used as a quick reference for what you've already written. A sentence per important detail, event, or realization for instance, can help you know what you've already introduced, at what point, and in what order.

2. Characters

We all know and love them, but how well are you portraying them?

This can range from making sure you're keeping them consistent to canon, consistent within the fic, accurate to their voice, or just being able to know their relationship with the other characters and the world that you're writing.

My favorite way to do this is to have a quick physical description with as few words as possible, a summary of their past, their close relationships to relevant characters, and then a list of their common sayings, vocal tics, and phrases. For example, a character I want to write more often says "Hello? Is someone there?" into the fog. Like, 'multiple times an episode' often. This helps me be more accurate to her, and her voice.

You can also make note of their motivations, their bonds, their flaws, their fears, whatever you think is most relevant to that character and that story.

3. Important Details/Themes/Patterns

When you want something to be a recurring theme, you want to make sure that you both remember to make it reappear, and that its in the same vein as you meant it originally.

If you have a theme of water, or fire, or light, make a list of descriptors and metaphors that will work with those that you can then use later. You can save one phrase for referring to a particular character, or use the same type of words to describe something the pov character doesn't know how to. Having this written down somewhere you can access it easily may be very helpful if you are including any recurring themes or patterns.

4. Alternate Universe Details

Again, this is for consistency. You want the world to feel stable and real, certain in the facts about it.

You can write all of it down first, or make notes of what you throw in as you go, but it will all be useful to reference when you get to that point of "oh, what did I say about this thing?" because you won't have to read through 10k, but instead find it in a specific place.

5. A list of better words and phrases

This will help you greatly in the editing process, by giving you a quick reference full of similar or better words, phrases, and sayings to switch your duller or ill-fitting ones out for.

This is not one I've used, however, a friend of mine has a physical binder that they use as reference, and it has many many different sections they have divided it up into. It works very well for them, and I think that its worth a try :)

Side Note: All of these can be used for just one fic, or a series. However, I would advise that you keep everything in separate docs, and keep track of your progress in google sheets or a similar application.

[harsh003]

Reimagining the Future of South Asia Amidst Historical Divisions.

One became the mother of democracy in India, where the rape of women is still not fully investigated, corruption is high, and law and order is bought with money to this day. Any woman even in modern India today probably scared to report her rape.

“This part of the world was considered as wealthy as Europe as back as 1500’s. We were a good host to Mugal invaders and then followed by the British East India company.

Millions of people died to obtain the birth of a divided India on the 15th of August 1947.

Millions more died trying to leave what was a home for a new home under a new sky.

MThis was India Sky, Pakistani Sky and later to become Bangladesh Sky. Yet we have forgotten that Sky is only one and it cannot be divided.

We left the horrible occupation for freedom for which we were ill-prepared.

The birth of India and Pakistan was built on the bodies of immigrants.

One became the mother of democracy in India, where the rape of women is still not fully investigated, corruption is high, and law and order is bought with money to this day. Any woman even in modern India today probably scared to report her rape. She knows too well that she will be interrogated by a Police 10, Police Senior, DCP, Press, and lawyers. She will be virtually ripped apart so she probably thinks no point in reporting.

Mother of democracy but really we are not as we are divided on caste, regional biases, language bias, religion, and yes we are independent. Many argue with me that at least we ar in control of our own destiny. I don’t agree with this destiny which takes us to an unknown path.

India is known for thousands of years as the land of learned people, peace-loving, law-abiding people.

How is corruption rampant in India? How will anyone get justice? Not possible unless you have money and connections.

We have achieved some economic progress due to some of our policies instigated in 1970 and 1980.

Pakistani where shall I start, it is quite close to being labeled as a failed state. It was formed yet again by two people Mohammed Allam Iqbal and Mohammed Ali Jinnah. It was supposed to be a Muslim household and a democratic one. Democracy in Pakistan never flourished and the institution of the army always had an upper hand in all things

In the beautiful fields of Punjab, the Deseret of Sind was never allowed to belong to the workers.

Landowners controlled the masses and hence wealth did not move much to the workers.

Pakistan means Pure Land but it’s politics is filthy. It was a dreamland for the immigrants but in 1960 it suffered the Bengal massacre which lead to the division of the country. An independent election won by Bengalis was not accepted and led to the birth of yet another country under another Sky!!!

The land of pure is often finding it hard to control its 4 provinces. Lovely people of Punjab are made to fight Sindhis and etc.

Economical it has also not prospered due to lack of education, misunderstanding of the Teachings of Islam, early marriages, etc.

So, in the end, we are worse off than what we were once and worse led by foreigners. We must continue the search for a United India and strengthen the hands of the ordinary people.

We can be the biggest economic market if we still believe in

Breakfast in Dhaka

Lunch in Delhi

Dinner in Lahore

we will have no choice but eventually to come and find a way forward.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

In the heart of bustling Mumbai, a vision for a just and equitable world is coming to life through the tireless efforts of Dr. Ahmed Haque, a renowned philanthropist, peace activist, and beacon of hope for many. Founding the Just World Order Federation (JWOF), Dr. Haque is not just dreaming of a better future; he is actively laying the groundwork for it. This initiative, deeply rooted in the principles of justice, equality, and peace, seeks to empower the voiceless, support the powerless, and challenge the injustices that mar our society. Contact Us for more details.

[readingforsanity]

Silent Came the Monster: A Novel of the 1916 Jersey Shore Shark Attacks | Amy Hill Hearth | Published 2023 | *SPOILERS*

Ju

“Sharks are as timid as rabbits.” So says a superintendent of the Coast Guard, dismissing the possibility that a shark could be the culprit in an unprecedented fatal attack on a swimmer at the Jersey Shore. 

It’s July 1916, a time when little is known about ocean creatures, and swimming in the sea is a relatively new pasttime. Americans up and down the East Coast are shocked and mystified by the swimmer’s death. Little do they know that this is only the beginning. 

A prominent surgeon at the shore, Dr. Halsey, after examining the wounds of the first victim, is the only person who believes that the creature is a shark and that it will strike again. But the public as well as the authorities - and even those who witnessed the attacks - don’t believe him. Dr. Halsey finds himself fighting widespread confusion, conspiracy theories, defiance, and outright denial of the shark. 

Seeking the input of commercial fishermen, Dr. Halsey learns that they have long been concerned about a creature they call the beast. The local Native Americans, the Lenape, have their own beliefs as well. 

The shark attacks occur in an already fraught time A brutal war rages in Europe, and Americans are divided about becoming involved. Meanwhile, an unprecedented outbreak of “infantile paralysis” creates widespread panic. Into this scenario, the sea monster arrives. But what is it? Theories range from a huge mackerel to a giant sea turtle, or even a German submarine. 

The story of the 1916 Jersey Shore shark, believed to be a great white, changed the way Americans think of the seashore, reminidng us once again that nature plays by its own rules. 

The book follows the tragic events of the shark attacks that plagued the Jersey Shore in July 1916. We’re introduced to characters, Dr. Edwin Halsey as well as Miss Margaret Atkins, whose perspectives we learn of the events. 

Edwin is attempting to deal with multiple tragedies occurring at one time, including an outbreak of infantile paralysis (polio) on top of the shark attacks. The first victim is a young man from Philadelphia named Charles Vansant. This incident took place on July 1st. Charles entered the water shortly after arriving at the Engleside Hotel on the shore with his family. He died of severe blood loss prior to anything being able to be done for him. Dr. Halsey examined the body, and having dealt with sharks before in his past during the Spanish-American War in Cuba, began alerting authorities of the attack hoping to shut down the beaches. 

Despite his best efforts, the beaches remained opened, and a few days later, on July 6, 1916, the second attack occurred on a man named Charles Bruder. He was a bellhop at the Essex and Sussex Hotel on the shore, and was well-liked by everyone. Despite efforts to save him, Mr. Bruder also succumbbed to his injuries. Edwin once again examined the body and this time, wanted to take more of an effort in order to alert the proper people. However, nobody was taking him seriously. 

It isn’t until a man is observing the water and comes across the shark himself that people begin to take the threat to human life seriously. Prior to this, people believed the attacks were being carried out by a giant sea turtle or giant mackerel. But Edwin knew better. He began trying to find out more information on sharks, though they were scarcely studied in 1916. 

In the meantime, Margaret is dealing with the heat in her small town of Matawan. As a school teacher, her job never ends and on top of her responsibilities to her students, she is dealing with her mother’s mental illness as well, though this isn’t truly described in the book other than her having melancholia after the deaths of her twin sons several years before due to the measles virus. 

Margaret is engaged to a young man named Stanley Fisher, who works as a tailor despite his father’s best efforts to get him to work on the sea. Stanley is adamant that if the US goes to the war efforts in Europe, he would join them to due his due diligence as an American citizen, which leaves Margaret with worry. 

On the day of the third attacks, that take place on July 12, the small town of Matawan is rocked. Not near the coast, but 11 miles away, the shark ends up in the small creek that surrounds the town of around 1,600 people. An old sea captain attempts to warn the townspeople, but nobody takes him seriously, believing that he was out in the sun too long. The day before, the shark had been present in the waters, as a young boy named Lenny was cut up by the skin of the shark, though nobody knew it at the time. 

On July 12, a young boy known for seizures, was believed to be drowning in the water when a group of young boys that were swimming in the creek, come running naked into the streets to let them know that Lester had been taken by the shark under the water. Several men, Stanley included, enter the water to attempt to help the drowning boy. Stanley is able to get a hold of him, but the others begin trying to get him out of the water when they see the shark. Unfortunately, Stanley becomes the fourth victim of the shark. Dr. Brewster, the town doctor, wants to bring him to Dr. Halsey. However, there is nothing to be done and Stanley’s last words are of his fiance, Margaret. 

Margaret doesn’t handle the news well, having been at the site of the attack when it happened. A fifth victim, a young boy named Joey Dunn, nearly got eaten by the shark but with efforts from his older brother and a friend, were able to save him. 

Shortly after the Matawan attacks, Edwin meets with a man who is known as a big game hunter as well as taxidermist who also keeps exotic animals in his home. Edwin meets him at the docks, and despite not wanting to, ends up joining him on the water while Schleisser. The two of them encounter the shark, and with both of their efforts, are able to kill the beast. They bring the shark back to the docks, where it is weighed and then Edwin accompanies Schleisser back to the Bronx to open it up and find out if there are any human remains inside. 

There are, as it is believed a piece of Lester Stillwell is in the stomach of the female shark. Schleisser later stuffs the shark, and it is mounted for display inside of a storefront. 

Edwin, along with his daughter, go to meet Margaret to pass forth the last words of Stanley, which brings her a sense of healing. And then the three of them, along with Mrs. Atkins, Margaret’s mother, go visit the only survivor of the attacks. Later, Joey moves in with Margaret and her family while he recooperates, as his family lives in a fifth-floor walk-up in the Bronx. 

Two years after the attacks, Edwin has retired from surgery, instead choosing to become a professor of surgery to teach the young minds of medicine. Julia, his daughter, has gone to work in the war effort as a nurse in Europe, and his housekeeper, a dear friend named Hannah, succumbed to the Spanish influenza, along with her sister, only three hours apart. Margaret has married the friend of Stanley, which everyone saw comin except for the two of them, and Joey continues to stay with the Atkins family. 

Edwin later goes to meet with a man called Old Timer, who tells him that though he believed he killed the Beast all those years ago, that he had saw it a week before, and it was still out there. Edwin goes out to the sea, and tells the shark that it has won. 

This is the first fictional story written on the events of 1916. Both of the characters of Edwin Halsey and Margaret Atkins are based on real people; Edwin on a doctor that worked at a hospital in Long Branch and Margaret on the real-life girlfriend of Stanley Fisher. The victims are all real victims of the attacks, including that of Joey Dunn, who was the only survivor. 

While several nonfiction stories were written, the author wanted to write the story from the perspectives of those who were actually there, using actual stories from the attacks using newspaper articles and books from the past. 

It was well-written, and my fascination with sharks continues, especially after the events of the Matawan Creek. My belief, despite there being no definite answers on what type of shark it was, it was a bullshark as they can go into fresh water as well as saltwater. Bullsharks have even been sighted in my state in the Midwest (Illinois) in the past. 

This was definitely a 5/5 read, and I would recommend this to anyone who has an interest in sharks, and the events of 1916 in general. 

[jenaeswriting]

Pachinko was my read✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ of 2023

Pachinko was my first read of 2023. I was recommended it in the lead up to my trip to Japan by Tom's mum. She said reading it would be a good lesson in history. I am used to novels being fun and silly and non-fiction being serious and educational. Pachinko was like learning through play, like soaking up the sense of place on a through pictures. Pachinko was a trip through 20th century Korea and Japan. A period defined by flashpoints, World War I and II, civil conflicts. A period when places, peoples homes became transformed and cermented in time as battlegrounds. The conflict of Manchuria, or Hiroshima, just that a conflcit, and not a place of culture or identity, or home. This is how I had come to interpret the Korean civil war. Korea a nation today split into the North and South. A side to be chosen. Pachinko begins with a whole Korea, and born into it is hardworking Korean woman Sunja. She flees Korea during its time of Japanese occupation. By the time she can make it back, it is spit and owned by Russian and the West. Sunja doesn't fretabout the wartime, lifeis measured through the food on the table. These flashpoints of named and dated conflicts in Pachinko are not the omnipresent happenings, but were natural like the quiet hums of cars in the distance. Not heard until you are told to pay attention. When Sunja finds financial stability, her working children successful, she realises in her poverty, her nation has been lost, re-occupied and divided. To go home is un-true, her she can never go back. ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Pachinko was written in 2017 and tells Korean-Japan hostilities from 1911 to 1989. It follows the family linage of Sunja, daughter of Hoonie, a deformed man with a limp and a cleft-lip trying to make a life for himself in 20th century Korea. A hard worker and respected around his hometown in Busan, Hoonie is arranged to marry Yangjin. In the background Korea is allied with Japan through the Second World War. In Korea, there is poverty on the streets and livelihoods of Koreas are largely ignored by the Japanese empire. Money in Busan comes from the Japanese visitors. Quickly into Hoonie and Yangjin's marriage they birth beaming eyed Sunja. A hard worker herslef, she is volunteers at her mother's bathhouse and tends to the clients, both Korean and Japanese. When she is sixteen, Sunja meets a well-dressed man in the marketplace, he speaks highly of his life back in Osaka. He says he is from Jeju. Sunja can hardly believe when he says he is Korean. It is hard to spot his physical differences in such stunning white and clean clothes. He impregnates Sunja but announces he cannot be with her. Sunja is devestated and feels she has let down her mother and father. A Protestant minister Baek Isak stays in Sunja's mother's boarding house. In his ill-health, Baek declares he will marry Sunja to give the child a name and a better life, one in Japan. Sunja, Baek move to Baek's brother's house in Ikaino, the Korean ghetto of Osaka. Sunja knows the name 'Osaka' from the well-dressed man's stories. He spoke of a land full of food and technology and automobiles. In Ikaino, Sunja does not live this life of decadence. Her and Baek squeeze in with brother in law, Yoseb. Baek's brother is is high in the church and his wife Kyunghee a beautiful woman with soft and thin hands. But despite income and proffession or beauty if you are Korean you are sentanced to the ghettos. Rentals are denied to Koreans by Japanese. In Ikaino Korean children roam the streets and farm animals live with residents. There is little choice to ethic Koreans and living with cattle and pigs is a point to be disgusted of. So, Sunja and Beak move in with Yoseb and Kyunnghee and preparations begin for the fifth member of the house, Baek Isak's illegitimate child, Noa, Followed four years later by Mozasu. Noah and Moses. Noa was the most intreging character. He internalised much of the Korean descrimination from his Japanese peers. In tough times, Sunja and Kyunghee make kimchi at home in massive batches to sell at the markets. The smell of cabbage and garlic seeps into Noa's clothes, at school he is called garlic turd. Noa works hard to distance himself from the Korean archetype. He is told Koreans are dirty so he makes sure his shirt never has creases. He is told Koreans are rude so he is unfalteringly polite to a fault. He is told Koreans will not ammount to much, so he studies hard in school, staying back late after class and working into the night. Noa hates being Korean. He will hate being Korean all his life until he kills himself. To be living in Korea, you are destined for a life of hardshp. To move to prosperous Japan you are not offered the food, shelter or oppertunites of natives. Sunja and Noa and Yoseb and Isak do as they Japanese tell Koreans. They do so without ever questioning or oppposing the walls of oppression which suffocate Ikaino. They are generous, never angry at their place in society. It is a stark difference that until this point, Koh Hansu is the only Korean character who has made a rich life for himself. Of course, he is apart of the Yakunza and cannot have what he wants truely, which is Noa and Sunja. It takes Mosazu, Noa's brother, who defies the anti-Korean sentimate and doesn't take interest in conforming to the rules of the Japanese empirical forces. Noa tells Mosazu to study hard, to not get into fights with those who make him angry. Unlike Noa, Mosazu sees the injustice and can understand it is not him who is wrong but Japanese soicety. He befriends another bullied Korean child and further defies pressure to be a good Korean by taking up work at the Pachinko parlour. Mosazu is able to build a prosperous life for his mother and grandmother in Japan. At the end of the novel when Sunja is in her 70s cleaning Isak's grave placing a designer purse on the graveyard floor it is entirely diffferent image from the poverty striken life Sunja endured during her years of early motherhood in Busan and Japan. The book is the first English language telling of the Korean discrimiation in Japan. A histroy lesson, a comment on entrenched poverty, systematic discrimination, internalised hatred. Working hard and hard and hard in a system built to make sure you fail. The ways in which colonialisation and imperialism do not better those captured nations, and how large empire nations wish not to conjoin for joint prosperity but to keep those conquored on the bottom. To be a winner means there must be losers. It was interesting that Sunja immigrated to Japan when Korea was a unified country. There are times when she, or those in her family wish to see back home. But by going home they are forced to choose a side. Prehaps individual like Noa would wish to appease the Japanese, being taught all his life they are the superior race, never speak ill. Noa may be innclined to show his allegance to North Korea. Despite the quest for Korea to be free, Japanese rule is how many Koreans understand Korea. An American or Western south is still not home. Of course, as the years go on this sense of 'home' becomes very vague. third of fourth generation Japanese born ethnic Koreans have never been to their "native" country. How can this be where they are from? And how can they be made to choose a side and feel at peace. So much change occurs yet people wish for you to choose one side of a coutnry and go back to a counntry that is not yours. The Pachinko game is posited as a game of chance but successful Pachinko businesses, as Mozazu's says is about making people hopeful and then rigging the system. Koreans had been promised better lives in Japan, better lives in the north and in the south. Today, this war rages on.

[itzabouthealth]

5 Simple Tips for Weight Loss Success

1. Move More

Exercise makes losing weight considerably simpler, but more significantly, active people are more likely to keep the weight off in the long run. You can start exercising now, no matter where you are right now. Contrasting lifestyle exercise with scheduled exercise is excellent for both. You can burn calories by participating in these two activities. While it’s crucial to fill both categories as much as you can, concentrate on setting aside time each day for scheduled activity. It will be simpler to form a habit in this manner.

How about weightlifting? These workouts require you to push or pull weight using your muscles. They assist you in accelerating your metabolism and swiftly achieving pleasing results. Additionally, you don’t have to be a bodybuilder to benefit.

2. Eat Only Carbohydrates That Are Connected To Fibre

This helps you choose carbs that better support your hunger and nutritional demands while reducing the amount of sugar and white flour (found in pastries, white bread, candy, and juice, among other things) in your diet. Your diet should have more fibre the better!

Fiber lowers cholesterol, helps control blood sugar levels, and lowers your risk of developing chronic illnesses including diabetes, colon cancer, and heart disease. Because you’ll require less insulin if you eat less carbs, such as those found in bread, pasta, rice, desserts, sugary drinks, and juice, if you have diabetes. And that may aid in avoiding hunger, the accumulation of fat, and weight gain.

Legumes (dry beans, lentils), vegetables (brussels sprouts, broccoli, spinach, squash, sweet potatoes), and fruit are among the foods high in fibre (apples, berries, oranges, pears).

3. Eat More Plants

A plant-based diet, according to research, not only helps people lose weight but is also simpler to follow than a low-calorie one. Additionally, it is nutrient-rich and offers a host of health advantages.

Produce aids in weight loss because it contains a lot of fibre and water, both of which have no calories and fill you up so you feel full. In actuality, a Brazilian study discovered a link between greater fruit and vegetable consumption and improved weight loss.

Starting with five daily portions of produce, one should work their way up to seven to nine daily servings. Green smoothies for breakfast, salads or shaved veggies for lunch, and fruit for snacks and sweets are all healthy choices.

4. Make Your Breakfast Better

If you are currently skipping breakfast and still finding it difficult to prioritise leading a healthy lifestyle, a balanced meal that is packed with fibre, protein, and healthy fats will alter your day. By making you feel “hungry” in the afternoon, skipping breakfast may affect your hunger hormones throughout the day, making it more difficult for you to resist overeating or seeking foods high in sugar and refined carbohydrates. Breakfasts that will fill you up, keep you full, and ward off cravings later in the day are the greatest, heartiest breakfast options. For your morning meal, aim for 350 to 500 calories and be sure to include a dose of lean protein and satisfying fat.

5. Eat Consciously

Healthy eating entails consuming a range of foods in moderation — not excluding any food, but also avoiding overindulging in the fatty, rich foods that were once reserved for special occasions. Eat consciously by being aware of your food intake and by being aware of the fundamentals of healthy eating.

Want to eat in a simple way? Divide your plate into three equal portions: half for veggies, one-fourth for whole grains, and one-fourth for lean protein. You’ll be eating healthier and leaner if you try to make the majority of your meals (lunch and dinner, at least).

[spooky-little-guy]

so uh hi, welcome to my blog :)

this is just a place for me to post cute stuff and talk about things

about me:

name: adam or kai either are fine with me :)

gender: nonbinary boy

pronouns: they/he

race: white

orientation: acearoflux

fandoms: danganronpa, ddlc, the walten files, undertale/deltarune, other misc analog horror series (will be tagged!!!), omori, and fnaf

about the blog:

i will post: photos, textposts, moodboards, stimboards, art and rants.

i wont post: n5fw content, bigoted content, stuff for bigoted people and v3nts.

tags:

# 🔦adam has hooves🔦 - satyrkin posts

# 🔦adam has wings🔦 - angelkin posts

# 🔦omg their literally me🔦 - fictionkin posts

# 🔦im gay and thats okay🔦 - pride stuff

# 🔦going feral lets goo🔦 - chaoscore

# 🔦its always halloween wdym🔦 - halloweencore

# 🔦leaves fall from the trees🔦 - autumncore

# 🔦adam screams into a wall🔦 - rants

# 🔦welcome to this living nightmare of a blog🔦 - pinned post

# 🔦adam actually being productive🔦 - art

DNI/BYF:

- basic dni criteria, pr0sh1p, ant1ant1, n5fw, r4d-fem, k/nk (even "sfw") or other misc bad people.

- byf, i believe in xenogenders, "weird" sexualities (ex: fictosexual), mspec lesbians/gays, neurogenders, and microlabels. i believe all bodies are beautiful. i use all caps sometimes, and I support blm/stop asian hate.

and with that, have a lovely day ♡

all userboxes by @sweetpeauserboxes ♡