#ill throw the fuck up

[softavasilva]

top 10 things that make me feel both excited and filled w fear:

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[disassociativesaddiebaddie]

Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring

[chrisrin]

HE'S GONNA STEAL--NOT JUST YOUR HEART--BUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN AS WELL!!!

[heartorbit]

HAPPY NEWONDERHOY YEAR 🍡

[spineless-lobster]

Do you ever just think about how, as gods, thanatos and zagreus were meant to be worshipped? How mortals fear thanatos too much to sacrifice to him, picturing him as an insatiable beast who takes and takes. How zagreus isn’t even known by the mortals, despite understanding the blood that runs through their veins, their most vulnerable parts.

And do you ever think about how they worship each other? How zagreus allows thanatos that vulnerability, allows him to take him in his arms, his lips, and take take take. How thanatos sees zagreus, always being there for him even when the entire underworld was against him. How he was the steady, grounding heartbeat to zagreus’ chaotic circumstances.

They worship each other when no one else will.

Do you ever just think about that?

[harbingersecho]

HEAD LIKE A HOLE, BLACK AS YOUR SOUL I'D RATHER DIE THAN GIVE YOU CONTROL

[mayxo-hxh]

Im about to get controversial.

Out of chrollo, illumi and hisoka, hisoka is canonically the least likely to flirt to get anything he wants, if at all.

A lot of people think he's a natural flirt but I fear I couldn't have disagreed more. He only "flirted" a single time and that was solely to piss off machi, knowing she'd never agree. Hot take? He would've never asked if he knew she'd agree.

Also, bro's the biggest humanphobe in the anime. He keeps his distance from everyone. The only human physical contact he ever made was through fighting people. (If you're a person thats interested in seeing more evidence, I have an entire long thread about it on twitter that I do plan on posting here soon)

so u cannot give me 1 reason for hisoka to flirt with someone at a random bar but chrollo and illumi? i can think of a few.

chrollo, he already canonically flirts to get what he wants. straight up goes on dates gets a suit and shit. he has no reputation among the general public that hes concerned of that isnt the spider. Illumi? He's a manipulator. I HIGHLY doubt he never flirted to get something in his life from people who are too easy to win over. He's someone that wouldn't care what people think of him. He's also anonymous. People have no idea who tf he is anyways. If it affected the zoldyck reputation? Thats a different story.

Hisoka? he would fucking NEVER. Him specifically? HE HAS A REPUTATION. And whats that reputation? That hes an absolute disgusting freak that no one should dare to approach. He kills people. He fights live and makes sure the audience is always disgusted and weirded out by his actions and performances. You look at him and you should immediately look away and pray he hasn't seen you.

So riddle me this. If his entire shtick is making sure everyones afraid of him and avoids him, then why the hell would he get himself a reputation that makes him approachable????

Why would he get himself a reputation that makes you, as a person who only ever heard of him picking people up, want to approach him.

On top of that, I just.. don't see him picking random people up..??? random weaklings that dont even know nen????? he literally treats them like trash that inconveniences his time. You're saying he'd EVER give them the privilege of sleeping with him???

And then you'd say, oh so he'd sleep with strong people! HERES THE THING. Why would he sleep with them..... when he can fight them. Him getting off from fighting comes NOWHERE to actual sex. What people don't understand is that he gets off to killing people and seeing them crumble in front of him when they realize theyre going to die. Torturing people to death. What's... that got to do with like. yknow. actual sex bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭

this turned into a huge rant probably but do you know how genuinely depressing it is seeing a unique character like hisoka that gains lust through FIGHTING and KILLING reduced to. sex addict in fics. Like. be so fucking serious right now. He called himself a FIGHT ADDICT in the manga. Can I see more of him actually spending his time killing and fighting people instead of whatever the hell bros doing with a random npc.

Anyways this is also why I hc him as asexual/demisexual NEXTTTT

[b0nelessdoodles]

buncha heket doodles cause i love the frog i love her so much beloved big frog

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.

[melandrops]

how are we feeling

[the-meme-monarch]

about to start season 2 of gravity falls and hey are we done with Mabel Has To So Much As Tolerate A Guy Who Wants To Date her That She’s Not Fucking Interested In plots

[buwheal]

a quick scribble of a scene from chapter 20 in this fic by @manofthepipis

(i really hope the colors are as bright to you guys as they are on my monitor lmao)

I NEED NEED NEED TO GUSH ABOUT THIS FIC RIHGT NOW HOLY SHIT

Never before have i actually sat down to read a REAL fanfic until yesterday (And today! I stopped at chapter 6 and read the rest today ^_^). I saw it in the tags of a spamton blog's art and decided to check it out since i had read a really short one without chapters on the site before but MAN was i not ready for this one!!! HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT FANFICS????? I had always heard not so great things about fanfiction (and ive seen that most are ship based and I'm not really into ships with my favorite characters*) so I never really bothered to look, especially since I was usually more into the whole media rather than a specific character. (WHO LET ME GET AWAY WITH THIS??) I used to tease my friend for having 700+ videos saved on tiktok for their favorite actor, (but I TOTALLY GET IT NOW, I WOULD SO DO THAT IF I HAD TIKTOK) Until almost exactly a month ago I developed a hyperfixation on Spamton after learning who he was and watching Jerma's playthrough, and MAN it is SO FUN reading all the theories, headcanons, and peoples analyses of Spamton and his character/story I am totally hooked and I am SO SO SO SO glad this was the first real fanfiction ive read beacause IT IS GREAT!!!! AND I MEAN IT!!! THE CHARACTERIZATION IS SO GOOD AND I LOVE THE VIVID DISCRIPTIONS, I WAS SO SO SO EXCITED WHILE READING THIS ONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVENT!!!!! I LOVE THE WAY THE CHARACTERS INTERACT AND OF COURSE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SEEING THE HEADCANONS SPEWN THROUGHOUT!!! AAARGH EXPLODES EVERWHERE!!!! thank you SO SO SO SO much for writing this fic and i am SO going to read [[Data Recovering]]!!!

Link to the fanfiction :-)

[h0oty]

doctors deciding whether to blame their patients symptoms on anxiety, weight, or menstruation this time around

[druid-for-hire]

ummmm yeah haha sorry we put him in a time loop. he likes it though hes having so much fun lol. hes really really enjoying it

(aka london 2023 made the opening chords of Hope an octave lower and transposed the whole thing down and it's driving me fucking NUTSSSSSSS)