#ill take them from my inbox hehe

[koolaidoverliving]

wanna start posting on tumblr again but i'm still out of headcanon/writing stamina... sooo

TAKING ART REQUESTS!!!

I'D LOVE TO DRAW OCs OR PASTA CHARACTERS!!! ^_^

they won't be fully rendered. i hope that's okay! >_> i'm in such an art block but i'm ITCHING to make any sort of content

[bleep-bloop-boo]

₊˚✧ ✰ ‧₊˚✧ ✰ ◡̈ ✧ INTRO ✧ ◡̈ ✰‎ ✧˚₊‧ ✰‎ ✧˚₊

hihihihihihhihihi WELCOME TO MY VERY AMAZING AND TOTALY NOT CHAOTIC MESS OF A BLOG :DD IM PRETTY FRIENDLY, COME SAY HI!!! OPEN TO ALL appropriate ASKS AND DMS!!! This is a big mess of all my interests hehe Reblog heavyyy i love making friends so plss flood my DMs, i love meeting ppl (i will act weird tho, this is a warning) esp to give me recs for books/shows/media in general I thrive on chaos. PLEASE GIVE ME RANDOM ASKS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE spam me MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN IF ANYONE WANTS TO VENT!!! (i may not be the best at comforting but I can listen <33)

𖦹‧☆⋆｡𖦹°‧�� ⋆｡𖦹°‧ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆ ‧°𖦹｡⋆ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆‧����

Matching banners with @gay--gh0st THEYRE SO TALENTEDD, THEY DREW ITT go follow em, right now, they're awesome :DD Also, I did not draw my own pfp unfortunately :(( It was my irl friend who's tumblr I do not know....... yet >:)

MY OTHER ACCOUNTS:

@that-dam-heartstopper-fan convinced me to make a pjo rp account! if i followed a rp account, its meant to be from @delilah-isnt-dead-yett

follow @evilforestcult for my chaotic ADHD with @fairyycoffin godly mysteries AND @i-eat-so-much-grass gremlin vibes

i also have a Mitchell blog (from pjo)!! its for a rp group with me, @that-dam-heartstopper-fan and @boba-pearl. GO FOLLOW @the-forgotten-son-of-aphrodite

𖦹‧☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ⋆｡𖦹°‧ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆ ‧°𖦹｡⋆ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆‧𖦹

☁︎ You can call me Honey! Or any other nicknames! I LOVE NAMES THAT MAKE NO SENSE <333 ☁︎ Pronouns: she/her ☁︎ Age: I'm a minor (no being weird okay?) and heading to 10th grade! ☁︎ Time Zone: PST (im a california gurl, yes, i am ✨magical✨)

🎧★ 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𖤣𓋼 MUSIC 𓋼𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 ★ 🎧

✰ CAVETOWN <33 ✰ PENELOPE SCOTT ✰ MADILYN MEI ✰ Taylor Swiftt hehe ✰ Olivia Rodrigo ✰ musical soundtracks 𖦹 SIX the musical 𖦹 hamilton 𖦹 HEATHERS <333 𖦹 the lightning thief 𖦹 EPIC the musical GIMME RECS FOR GOOD ROCK/INDIE MUSIC TO LISTEN TO PLEASEEEE, LIKE FLOOD MY INBOX WITH SONGS

★ 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𖤣𓋼 FANDOMS 𓋼𖡼𖤣��𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 ★

✰ Percy Jackson (Books) ✰ School Bus Graveyard (Webtoon) ✰ Owl House (Show) ✰ Your Turn to Die (Video Game) ✰ Gravity Falls (Show) ✰ Avatar the Last Airbender (Show) ✰ Hunger Games (Books) ✰ Miraculous Ladybug (Show) ✰ Homesick (Webtoon) ✰ Doki-Doki Literature Club (Video Game) ✰Jackson's Diary (Webtoon) IF YOU KNOW/LIKE ANY OF THEM SCREAM AT ME PLEASE, ILL SCREAM BACK PROLLY!!! WE CAN BE A BUNCH OF SQUAWKING CROWS TOGETHER!!!

★ 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𖥧 MORE ABOUT ME :DD 𖥧 𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 ★

I'm an ENFP (mbti nerd hehe)

Hufflepuff <33

Can't spell... Good luck figuring out what im saying!

very deranged when prompted

MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE (abelists, pls DNI)

GIANT ALLY (homophobes/transphobes, pls DNI)

Hyperactive and very random! (lemme know if you're overwhelmed by that sorta stuff, ill try to tone it down :) )

Chatterbox! Love talking, just can't start conversations! DM or send me asks though!

very very curious, love talking to ppl about studies and fun facts

Character my friends associate me with and I relate to the most: Luz Noceda from the Owl House

My vibes are all over the place- (im emo, cutesy, and chaotic)

I MISS TONS OF SOCIAL CUESS!!! I'm trying to work on it but if i ever overstep my boundaries or make you uncomfy, pleasee let me know <33 im just a bit oblivious sometimes

𖦹‧☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ⋆｡𖦹°‧ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆ ‧°𖦹｡⋆ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆‧𖦹

My amazing moots! You all make me so happy :DD (pleaseee remind me to add you or take you off <33 ) @ashthenerdtheythem @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @whyamionthisgodforsakensite @queen-of-weird-girl-nation @boredcoldandhungry @nosanehumanallowed @roselandsrl @apollocabinrep @mybedroomceilingsbored @gay--gh0st @catinasink @redmegarex @chaoticgremlin-1 @totalcharliespringsimp @cabin-7-bitch @lunarcat982 @chriscrosswallflower-blog @obsessingoverl @pretentious-media @small-giggle @rose-bug-bear @aheartstopperfan @dandelionsarenotweeds @rookhuntt @i-eat-so-much-grass @justafrogghost @fairyycoffin @th3-st4r-gur1 @brains-out-rn @arsenic-laced-tums @dracosleftarsecheek @boba-pearl @tarantulaluv @rainydaywithcats @touslin @gay-little-isopod @ali-da-demon @kairos-in-space

𖦹‧☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ⋆｡𖦹°‧ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆ ‧°𖦹｡⋆ ★‧°𖦹｡⋆☆‧𖦹

Okieeee I THINK THATS IT :OO i am done aesthicifyingfjhjjendndjfgh my into post!! I have no tagging system so uhhhhh my blog is pretty much the equivalent of screaming into the void :)) Have fun in my little corner of chaos and pleaseeeeeeee say hi, i love talking with ppl and making friends!!!

Thanks for reading! (its a lot, ik, i blabber, i tried to bold key parts) Boop! Bye <33

[ask-the-silly-critters]

Welcome to the Silly Critters Blog!

[A place where you can ask the side character in the cartoon show of the Smiling Critters! But please do reminded that this is just my silly oc's and not canon in the PPT!]

"What if the Smiling Critters have a side character? I mean, it is possible that there would be other critters in the small town or what we calls it, Crittersville. I'm sure the others are thrilled to chat with all of you!"

☆ What is the Silly Critters? The Silly Critters is just a title for the side character of the Smiling Critters that i happily created for my own entertainment and joy. It is not quite a creative title for them but i love it anyway!

☆ What would be in the blog? You can ask any kind of questions for them or use your own oc's to interact with them! Pretty much anything! You would also see that some of the reply going to be my art, hehe–

Welcome, Welcome! To the blog of Silly Critters or the side character of the Smiling Critters Show that i happily created for my joy and entertainment! In this blog, you can ask or roleplay any character that will be shown in this blog, you might even lucky to have an art reply from one of them haha!

But before we introduced our dear side characters, Let's go for the rules and lil info of the replies, should we?~

The Rules

Please do not send an overly NSFW (lusty) ask, a light joke about it is fine but please remember that i wanted this blog to be family friendly and not only that, pretty sure it would be uncomfortable of an NSFW in a cartoon show or cartoon version–

Do not spam my inbox, please! I want all of you to be patience with the reply as i have a life on my own outside internet, i am not a robot that always needed to 'satisfy' you.

If i suddenly got uninterested with the roleplay, please respect it and don't force me to roleplay it, if i say stop and don't want to continue then please respect it.

Anon Magic is allowed but don't be too crazy.

You cannot kill them but you can harm them a little, just don't kill them.

No OP character, please– this isn't anime or some crap like that.

Don't be a hater or rude people here, be friendly!

Info of tags

-> art reply (a reply with my art)

-> roleplay blog (you already know)

-> ask blog (not a roleplay but a question)

-> mod latte here (aka me replying!)

-> smiling critters (you already know)

-> smiling critters oc (my critters oc)

-> silly critters (the silly critters)

-> dr healthcare (Dr. HealthCare reply)

-> berry acrobear (Berry AcroBear reply)

-> daisybloom (DaisyBloom reply)

-> cottonfluff (CottonFluff reply)

-> spooky hauntsoul (Spooky HauntSoul reply)

-> my art (a post of my art)

Info of the replies

This is Dr. HealthCare speaking and his whisper

This is Berry AcroBear speaking and his whisper

This is DaisyBloom speaking and her whisper

This is CottonFluff Speaking and her whisper

This is Spooky HauntSoul speaking and her whisper

" " This is them talking

' ' This is their thought

This is the action

[ ] this is where me talking

This is Mod Latte speaking

Other Blogs

-> Main Blog @mod-latte-here-to-haunt-you

-> Lovesick!Bobby BearHug Blog @protective-mama-bear

-> Barista!KickinChicken Blog @ask-barista-kickin-chicken

-> S&C!Smiling Critters Blog (coming soon...)

Now that's all done, time for Character introduction!!

The Characters

• Dr. HealthCare

Introducing Dr. HealthCare, the one and only doctor in Crittersville! He may look a bit grouchy or grumpy but don't let his grumpiness fool you as he DOES care about your well-being and your mental health! He just a bit strict in taking care of the injured patients. He is 40 years old and the oldest in the Crittersville. He also lost his wife from a deadly illness but he doesn't let that negativity took a toll on him.

• Berry AcroBear

Next is Berry AcroBear! A very timid and terrified bear but even though he have many fears, he is a gentle soul and have a liking in doing acrobatic skills. He is a quite touch-starved bear but a bit afraid to ask for affection but do not worry since we know you guys going to give the affection that this bear deserved! He is 26 years old and probably the youngest.

• CottonFluff and DaisyBloom

Next is the pink cousins, CottonFluff and DaisyBloom! These two are the opposite of eachother but even though CottonFluff is a flying squirrel and DaisyBloom is a skunk, they both love and care eachother dearly. CottonFluff is very sassy, blunt and know how to gossips but DaisyBloom is a sweetheart and a hopeless romantic. DaisyBloom is also owned a flower shop! Know a lot of the meaning of each flowers~

CottonFluff is 29 years old while DaisyBloom is 27 years old

• Spooky HauntSoul

And lastly, our own mischief little ghost, Spooky HauntSoul! A ghost looking-bear that loves to causes mischief or chaos in her way and also owning and living in a creepy train that can be used for her to travels in other universes, so do not be surprised of Spooky visiting your blog, haha! Spooky would sometime appear at night time, fall season or in halloween day! Her age would be unknown but she would be the oldest if she was alive!

There's also another characters that we're adding, check it out!

And that is all!! We, The Silly Critters will be waiting for your ask in our mailbox!! We cannot wait to interact with all of you and we all hope you would feel the same way with us!

See you later~

[muppetears-stuff]

Warren hate has always been ableist in the very beginning. He gets too much shit for not understanding Max's body language. He gets a lot of hate 'for not taking a hint' or understanding social cues. Hell in the very beginning of the fandom like in 2015 i think i remember there were angry pricefielders calling Warren the literal r slur because he's 'so stupid'. Their words not mine. l I've seen people talk about how they're convinced he's a s*ciopath or a n*rcissist or a ps*chopath which I find ableist and uncomfortable. I think the biggest red flag from the fandom is how there's a lot of shit talk about Warren is an 'obsessive freak/stalker' in their eyes to talking in general about how 'obsessiveness' and 'obsessions' are red flags and are signs of 'evil' apparently and not symptoms of mental illness or neurodivergency apparently. I really relate to Warren and I also suffer from obsessive and actual intrusive thoughts, so i find this fandom to be extremely cruel and alienating toward people with stigmatizing illnesses which I find explains the Chloe demonization bc she is so BPD coded. I don't think Warren is autistic coded like Max but I do think he's ADHD / OCD coded in a way I can't explain. Sorry to drop this really long rant in your inbox, but you're not wrong about the Warren demonization and I just wanted to say something about it. Becauze the demonization of all these characters go back to ableism and the Life Is Strange fandom is the most ableist fandom I've ever been in at all and that really speaks volume about how atrocious it is.

THIS ^^^ YES. FUCKING YES, ABSOLUTELY.

I find the Warren hate unwarranted (hehe) and SUPER FUCKING ABLEIST. you make amazing points, thank you for putting my thoughts into words anon🙏🙏

He very much struggles with social interactions, very evident by the way he only talks teachers or people that are into the same stuff as him, he can become very chatty, sometimes too much, when it comes to things he likes which comes off as "annoying" and "obsessive" when he just wants friends.

Mr. Well's talks about it in his student file, btw.

I share. Alot of the same traits as Warren, with myself also having ADHD and liking science and talking excessively to the point where I find MYSELF annoying.

It's so upsetting too that the developers leaned INTO the stalker/obsessive Warren allegations that I can't even fucking talk about him or mentioning that I like him on certain platforms without the fear of people saying I "support stalking" which I don't. I can't defend him and say that he wasn't stalking without someone going, "but it's canon, the developers confirmed it!!" Yeah well, Mark and Nathan have done some more fucked up shit and I still see people defend them. (I love Nathan too for his complexity and ability to become better. He just needed help, but it doesn't excuse anything he did.)

Warren is the best character. He had so much potential to be an amazing recurring character, but he was their simply for plot convenience or to make the player not suspicious that Mark could be behind everything because Warren was "creepy"

I'm probably gonna have people saying I'm being a baby over this and that he's a fictional character and stuff, you can totally have your own opinion on Warren Graham, I'm not telling you you can't, just please stop calling people who like him "stalkers" or say they support stalking and creepy behavior, when that isn't true. The amount of hate towards anyone that isn't Max or Chloe, and then the immediate hate on YOU for not liking them or liking/defending another character makes me sick, as well as the flat out abelism. The reason why I left the fandom in the first place before picking it back up because of Warren<3

Thank you again, Anon. For sending me such a lovely ask(?) And letting me rant about him because he's my favorite, and I agree with you so much, you're so right<3

[fatuismooches]

SMOOCHES HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

Im so happy to have spent this year talking with you and sharing all my ideas with you! Honestly 2023 was such a year I’ll have many memories of, but I can’t wait for 2024. (My genetics appointment is tomorrow as of writing this so those results will kinda determine how my year goes I suppose!) you’re literally the sweetest, most wonderful creator I’ve ever met and I can’t help but be honored to be your dear boo boo bear🎐 anon! I hope we continue to interact this year and hopefully more Dottore crumbs please Mihoyo!! I desperately want Dottore crumbs so we can both talk about them together! I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you so much, your writings always lift up my mood and your add-ons to my stories make my days so much more special and brighter. Honestly, I never expected Zandy to become so popular on this page and yet he did! He was honestly just a little thought that ended up blossoming into more and I love seeing others expand on Zandy. I always feel so giddy seeing others talk about Zandy it makes my heart all happy!! With how happy your page and anons make me you all could cure my chronic illness if that was even possible! However, I have a little drabble to start the new year. I’m giving you so much many chu chus! Expect a lot of those this year hehe, it’s been SO COLD I need cuddles T_T but I love you so so much smooches please take care of yourself and make sure you get loads of rest! I’ll always be here to tuck you in and cuddle with you >.< Definitely expect more this week hopefully if m not too busy!! Moving on to drabble:

Seeing as a new year has finally arrived, I like to think that on New Year’s Eve, fragile!reader would be reminiscent of the past year and somewhat happy knowing they can hopefully live to see another year despite their fragility. However, Dottore sees it as a punch to his face. Another year has passed, and he still cannot cure his dear lover. Empty promises of curing them, but when? The year has already ended, and he fears they won’t make it to the next. Their time is limited if he can’t cure them, but he has to find a way, he promised them. So while they both stand next to each other waiting for the countdown, they both think of opposite views of the year. One filled with happiness for making through it, while the other filled with anger for failing once again.

-from your dear boo boo bear 🎐 anon!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎐 ANON!! 🥹🥹 I'm so happy you're my boo boo 🎐 anon too, whenever I see you in my inbox I always smile and I'm so glad you're here too! (I really hope your appointment goes well my dear! I'm wishing only the best for you! 💗💗) But me? I don't just want Dottore crumbs. I want a whole MEAL 😤 I'm tired of waiting!! And I can't wait to talk about them with you too 🎐 anon hehe it's gonna be so much fun! NWJDEWJD I think we all have to thank you for baby Zandy... 😭 he's literally the cutest munchkin ahh we love Zandy in this house... Giving you much mwahs and hugs more! *cuddles you* Please make sure to rest a lot too! AND AHHHH THE DRABBLE IM GOING INSANE-

ARGGGGH THE ANGST SO GOOD... I imagine Dottore does not care at all for New Year's and all of that, i mean, after all, he has been alive for centuries. The years passing just pass, they don't mean too much anymore. But you? You still love them! Your conception of time is a lot different from his, you have been asleep for centuries so you appreciate the New Year's for what it is! Another year of being with your dear Zandik! Yeah, there's been a lot of ups and downs this year but, you're just grateful to have another chance with your lover. (You probably let Zandy stay up late for the New Year!! 😭) BWJDBWED i can't. Poor Dottore, I imagine he despised the New Year even more when you were asleep because it was yet another year of being along. Of not having the one person he cared about with him. At the very least, although he's upset at himself for failing you, you're here with him now. At least, that's what you say to him when you see his expression. (He didn't need to say it out loud. You just knew.)

[crushingcasanova]

IM BACK , MY LOVE !!! last night was .. chaotic to say the least. i don’t wanna give away who i am by telling you much .. so ill just say that it was a lot hehe. trust me , if I could’ve answered you as SOON as you sent your response .. i would’ve <333 ive started to become really enamored with you .. （≧∇≦）your energy is just amazing and ive found myself getting excited when im sending these letters hehe .. so thank you !!

it’s crazy how similar our schedules are .. ill actually be going into tech week next week !! and that’s so sweet .. it figures that you’re good with kids , you seem like such a kind soul ^^ im sure that things are stressful for you. if you ever wanna rant , or listen to someone else talk and just relax .. ill do whatever i can for you!!

i forgot to send my other half , so ill just do it now :3 i love all of the things you said , but specifically gravity falls and steven universe ….. my goodness , i had steven universe as my special interest for years , id never stop thinking abt it (or flapping my gums about it … :,) ) and gravity falls was a hyperfixation for a while , and i still really like it !! just not as much as i did .. (i have autism and adhd by the way .. im sure you’re understanding but i wanted to tell and warn you ..) i guess i have a lot of interests so this one’s kinda hard …. i guess my basic list would be hsr , genshin , pjsk , alien stage , LAW AND ORDER SVU !! (shh it’s my special interest rn i kinda go crazy every time I talk about it so just ignore me) uhm and there’s a looot more but im not gonna name all that .. i wouldn’t wanna take up more space than I have i seriously talk so much my goodness .. i truly feel sorry that you gotta read all this ..

but anyways !! i hope your day is going so so so so amazingly .. idk what time it is for you (it’s 6:53 am for me) but what i DO know is that you are truly a blessing for me .. im sorry to maybe overwhelm you , but ive been feeling real lonely the past few weeks .. you’re the only person that I feel like has really paid attention to me (even if it’s only in these little asks) so .. thank you. all i really need is attention .. i wouldn’t dare ask more from you <333 i hope this letter finds you in good health!

your obedient servant , 🎭

I hope last night went well, even if it was a lot :0 don't even worry about the response times, by the way! I know I'm a bit slow with it too, and timing doesn't matter much to me as long as we get to chat :) thank you for the compliments by the way <33 I'm always excited to see you in my inbox, too! :D I've been looking forward to responding all morning actually!

I hope your tech goes well! My irl best friend has tech next week too :) she's doing puffs! Not sure if you know anything about the play, but it seems fun :) I appreciate the offer to rant to you, by the way, but it's okay! I've actually been very happy and excited with tech, even if I'm a bit tired :) so it's not an issue! I love tech and spending so much time with my cast members is such a joy <3 you're quite sweet for asking, though!

Steven universe was a big childhood show for me! I got to see susan egan (rose quartz) sing live once and I nearly exploded omg .... I had a lot of good memories with the show, and even wrote an essay about it last year for my english class! (It was about colonization in steven universe, which was actually very fun to do). I've been meaning to properly rewatch it sometime! Who were your favorite characters? And gravity falls too, I'm curious :D  (and also, I do understand, so no worries <3)

I used to play pjsk! Other than that, I'm nore unfamiliar with the other things. I've heard of genshin and hsr though and I have friends who play them :) and law and order svu I've heard of! You should totally tell me all about it, I'd love to learn about your interest :D and also, you can always tell me more of your interests and such if you wish! I'll always dutifully read it all, it'll never be too long for me >:D

I'm sorry you've felt lonely :( hopefully, you know I'll always be here to listen :D it doesn't overwhelm me to hear, I'm glad you can get it out! It's like 10:45 here as I write this, actually, so I think we have a bit of a gap timewise :) I hope your day goes super well! Let me know what you're up to if you wish :D

[geodetojoy]

hihihihi o/

rng selected questions for the “weird asks” post! and i proof read them this time lmao

92, 25, 88, 28, 78

idk what’s with all the eights but *shrugs*

have fun love you lux!!

yello!!! ty for the ask hehe <333

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight, or fairy lights?

Huge fan of fairy lights, but i love me some natural light too! other two are STRONG hates lmaooo

25. first song you remember hearing?

ok i have two kinds of answers here- ones like specifically a kids song and ones not

the kids song is the mah na mah na song that i guess after looking it up came from the muppets???? idk it was in a voice box for a stuffed monkey with velcro hands that i had as a baby lmaooo

and the first like. idk radio song? normal song? that i remember ever hearing (and memorizing!) is I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz :P my mom was/is a huge fan of his so i listened to his stuff a lot as a kid!

88. your greatest wish?

ooooooo boy theres a lot to unpack here lmaoooo

ive got a lot of stuff i wanna do ofc, like make games and art to show off to the world and to (hopefully) leave a positive impact, and id love to see/meet some of my idols and ofc meet my online friends, but my greatest wish?

man, idk, is it too cliche to say i just wanna be happy? to be safe and secure at the end of the day? (thats. thats a fucking starkid lyric dear lord LMAOOO) to not have to worry about if im gonna make it to the next day, if im gonna be able to take care of myself and those im responsible for? to not worry about anything and everything at any given moment? to love and be loved? isnt that what everyone wants?

28. five songs to describe you?

OOOO THIS ONES FUN

IT MIGHT ALSO END UP SAD IM SORRY IN ADVANCE IF IT DOES LMAOOOO

Top of my School by Katherine Lynn-Rose

ok i kept picking songs from NOAHFINNCE's GROWING UP ON THE INTERNET album but i didnt want it to clog up the answer so ill just put that whole album as one of the five :P

Body Terror Song by AJJ

several songs from The Normal Album by Will Wood (same as the other one- didnt wanna clog it up)

oh god why is it only fiveeee ive got so many more. michael in the bathroom from be more chill, sweet hibiscus tea by penelope scott, pretty little things by the crane wives, little miss perfect or ordinary, fuckin, my r by Lollia, and so many more but i think for my final answer i gotta say grocery store by Cavetown. sososo many of their songs would fit but that one specifically i think is the best

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

well. ok. heres the thing.

i like neither of those products.

BUT

the singular time ive ever enjoyed coffee was indeed from a gas station, so that one wins

THIS WAS SO FUN AS ALWAYS TYSM MADSSSS IMMA DO THE OTEHR ONE THEN HEAD TO YOUR INBOX o7

[chiyoso]

I HONESTLY DID NOT EXPECT TO HAVE SO MUCH GREETINGS THAT ITS OVERWHELMING ME TO THE POINT WHERE IM GUSHING WITH SO MUCH JOY ??????????????

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVELY AND UPLIFTING WORDS

i thought my birthday was going to be dull this year with all the whole pandemic, getting sick thing and burnout shinanigans — but creating a growing community... was one of the best decisions i have done in my whole nineteen years worth of choices to do. i love you all, so so much. strangers we might be, acquaintances from afar, friends from behind the screen — it doesn't matter, kindness goes far beyond through each word we speak.

and all of your words have reached me. (cough your lie in april reference without the dying)

this is my first time letting out media of my adventures and personal life, but yesterday was such a special day and i plan to do more today (birthdays over here typically last a few more days since only a day of celebration isnt really enough, depends on the person/environment though 🤭)

Chocolate Taiyaki Strawberry Pocky Pork Katsudon

Mochi Ice Cream Wendys Coffee

ME AND GOJO MERCH I BOUGHT HEHE

(will buy genshin impact birthday gifts for myself)

the name of the restaurant on the right reminded me of lyney, scara and me.

i will not elaborate further.

(also why am i so good at taking pics)

hehe. once again, thank you all so much for the support, i've been planning mentally so much that perhaps i just needed a little break from writing (the sickness and my bday proved a very nice break for me)

writing things

cynosure's ascendance

• i have no idea if people still remember this series of mine, but i do remember starting it out of desire to create a character of lust, battle and trauma and laying it bare for the xianzhou luofu to witness (cough jing yuan) so this series WILL be continued out of self interest

the mara's will

• the direction of this series will take a dark turn. it wont all be happy, but since its inspired by honkai impact... you're going to see more of powerful reader, and come to me in inbox, should i refer to old gods as herrschers? make this timeline where the universe of star rail will be tested by the imaginary tree's schemes and threaten to fall it towards the sea of quanta? i primarily have a good understanding of the whole imaginary tree thing, and i can see it applies to hyv games, thus leading me to the question of — are all connected somehow? (hsr welt's from hi3 after all)

• so yeah! i'm just conflicted as to what direction ill lead tmw with, so please, indulge me with your ideas and help me make sense of the timeline for it.

• (option 1) star rail, a universe that fought off the very, very ancient forces of what people of the infinitely old called honkai, and since the eradication of the ancient forces, they have been thriving ever since, hence the start of new technologies combined with long forgotten ones (previous era combined with stellar resources today) but all had forgotten about them in the process, them being the houkai, and the imaginary tree will soon test this 'bubble universe' (hsr) because simply; it is its law, it is its nature.

• (option 2) no bubble universes, no honkai impact timeline, just hsr itself with elements INSPIRED by the game

• (option 3) come to me! (told you im so conflicted hehe)

stellar chasm

• nngh im making a few ppl wait with this series, but trust me, i'm just studying and playing honkai impact to get a better grasp of hi3 abilities, how herrschers work, the lore and etc. and i honestly really want to involve durandal in mc's progress, we all know durandal is so fucking, so damn strong to the point where she can hold off kevin (im in that part or after so i have no clue if something happens to her, PLEASE DONT SPOIL ME THO) so yeah! i have already an idea as to how will mc will become a herrscher + getting the divine key abyss flower 😌 juuust... let me study more of hi3 🥹 also i have kind of scrapped the HoV personality? i'm going for an eden but more flirty, sensual (not purposely) type — that's all i'm spoiling!

i have 4 upcoming fics as well!

• It starts with a glance (Neuvillette, dark content)

• For you, Ma Moitie (Neuvillette oneshot)

• Neuvillette, your colleague (Headcannons)

• follower milestone with self aware!blade

that's all for now! once again, thank you all and LOVELY PROSPEROUS DAYS TO ALL OF YOU

love,

hiraeth

[fizzywashere87]

*read your response with a wry grin, and shakes my head with a slow chuckle*

Now I reckon it might be the fact that I’m somewhat of an old fart, but this was a trip to read little lady *affectionately* I fear I may be more outta the loop that I expected, but I appreciate the sentiments nonetheless.

*lowers hat over eyes with a small smirk*

I’m glad you like the hat, I kinda like it too. Helps with the whole anonymous factor and what not, so while I accept your invitation to be your friend, I will do so from a distance. I do enjoy a good mystery myself every once in a while.

As for the main character moment, well Hon who are you not to be your own MC? This is your story ain’t it? You adventure in the making, so don’t be afraid to write it. *shrugs casually and folds arms nonchalantly*

I’m nobody but a simple anon who lives by the phrase, “If you see something, say something.” I think it’s a down right shame that we often left fear get in the way of giving folks the love and validation so many of us often see. And I try to follow the wise words of Ghandi, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So here I am, doing what I can.

The world can hate for no reason, so why can’t I love for no reason? You don’t need to be something or someone special to be loved and appreciated, hon. You matter and are important simply by the mere fact you exist. Don’t forget that 🧡

*tips hat at you again before sauntering back out*

wry is a funny word 😚

i'm glad my wack ass grammar and way of responding to the last one gave you a stroke!! 🥰 /pos

love that for you preppy lil baddie 🎀

are you implying that you're crazy? because like kinda same or is it my language that makes you question your existence? 🤯

hehe ur like uber mysterious its so preppy!! either way new moot- your name is 🧡 because that's the only thing you gave me- plus i like orange so yippee 🥳

OMGIE?! WHY IS THAT LIKE- it's my story guys we can have the ex lover everyone hates the best friends and the dog

look et the lil guy he's a little baller ⛹️- give him respect he's better than uhm everyone he mogs everyone 👍

that's a good phrase but you're not just an anon i don't need to know which fucker on here you are to know you're so much more, genuinely though i rlly don't know how there was much to see here but im so happy there's people like you who can look into small things like this blog and make something out from it 🫶

ion know wtf "left gear" means but it threw me off when you said down right and then proceeded to say left- (rlly had to point that out 😔🤚)

bestie i bet you looked up who said that quote to be mysterious and like wise old person type shit i caught you!! 😁🫵

why are you being so nice tho? i'm rude asf some times- and how do you somehow like tell me every thing i probably should hear?

you're important too babes without people like you everyone would be defected fetuses 🤚

that was outta pocket i'm sorry.

how tf did you come in clutch when i was like failing at life tho- uhm thank you 🫶

can i have a cool hat too?- im kinda jealous of you /not actually bc you own and rock the hat

also keep coming into my inbox you said we're friends so we're friends now 🥰

they don't have to be super cute and sweet and wholesome messages that i go about slightly like nonchalant but they make me smile every time i get them (2 but i think abt it a lot)

love you tons new anon moot

also i heavily appreciate the validation from someone probably older than me- you seem like you're at least old enough to vote so ill take it either way🫶🥰🫶🥰🫶🥰🫶

i genuinely hope to see you in my inbox often, you can sign with 🧡 unless you want a diff emoji i'll probably know it's you

HAHA I DIDNT CRY THIS TIME 😛🖕

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

SEL…… T__T the way i would literally die for you. i really wanna take the time to thank u properly so this might get long shjdihisu i dont wanna clog up ur inbox so!!! ill just write it here. hopefully u can see it and tumblr doesnt eat up your notifs too :’3 im so sorry u had to write all of this TWICE thats awful, tysm for taking the time…… :’’3

FIRST OF ALL i love you…… im picking u up and spinning u around. youre so sweet!!!!! i cant wait to return the favor once i get the time to binge col hehe >:3 but honestlyyy thank you!! i was sobbing while reading all you wrote aaa ur too kind!! <333

it was so fun seeing all the lines you liked!!! im so happy u thought ”decisive slice of heaven” was pretty🥺🥺u said so many sweet things abt my writing…. tysm <3 😭😭 ur so attentive to how people write, its honestly so admirable!!! <33 i was reading all ur comments like this

im also so relieved you enjoyed my take on gojo’s death bc like…. it hurt me so bad to write but i dont think it felt very awful for gojo at all????? he just looks so at PEACE in that one panel that im like… okay. im fine. totally not falling to my knees thinking abt how he looks more at peace dying than we’ve ever seen him….……… 🥲🥲 i really wanted to show that feeling of resignation/peace/relief(?) that i think he prolly felt, along with the not-exactly-fear-but-similar that even he cant avoid feeling. so its such a relief that it came across well !!

im so honoured you think the character writing is accurate too…. u have no idea how happy that makes me!!!!!!!!! fr!! i love being delusional n self-indulgent in the way i write characters, but w/ this specific fic i really wanted to capture at least a lil bit of canon gojo and geto so!!!! im just so happy that you thought it felt real !! <33

and sel🥺🥺🥺🥺everything u wrote for the stsg dialogue….🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺u almost made me cry spdnhxhdjd thank u!! sm??!!!! im genuinely sooo ecstatic that it resonated with u <333 im a stsg enjoyer at heart so i really wanted to do them justice, their interactions in 236 absolutely RUINED me sel… its so insane to me how genuine gojo feels whenever he talks to suguru yknow?? like thats his BESTIE and i feel like he’s also the only person gojo feels comfy being weak around…. theyre so special to me sob!!! im so insanely happy that you enjoyed their interactions :’))

and i agree with u sm!!! i think the question of gojo’s wants & happiness is so INTERESTING to explore n ultimately i always end up with just. him wanting a slice of normalcy. just little things like buying ice cream with his friends in high school, taking his students to the movies, going to a bar with shoko and nanami... etc etc. i just feel like those tiny moments are what gojo treasures most in the world

my heart aches sososo much at the airport scene because it really feels like he’s envisioning a dreamlike scenario where he gets all that he wants, and thats…. just his youth back. just being able to laugh with his best friend again. and its such a small wish but that makes it so heartbreaking to me sel :’3 he wants so LITTLE and he cant have it bc his entire existence just encompasses so much…

aaa im so happy that you mentioned the whole god/human thing too!! gojo as a character is so fascinating to me bc he just boils down to this idea of like…. what if we took a random boy and made him into a god? what if we gave him so much strenght that he’ll never quite be seen as human by the world? will that boy be able to live and still love others, even though they’ll never reach him? and i think akutami’s way of writing that is SO good. it also ties into how similar he is to figures like the buddha, or generally just mythological heroes and stuff. he’s so tragic and good, and also undeniably human, and that’s like… his one great weakness. which is heartbreaking!!

aaa and it means sm coming from u too!!! ur gojo feels so so human and real to me, it was the first thing i thought when i read ur fics!! like you really capture his more vulnerable subconscious and that part of him thats soo human even though he might try to hide it and its just. heart wrenching to me 😭😭 he feels so genuine to me

AND SEL….. ur so so RIGHT about gojo. like you get him so well. it makes me wanna ramble so bad bc everything you said is just so TRUE. the way everyone needs him, the world needs him, and he CHOOSES to bear that weight even though he could just throw it away… he could easily run away and let everything go to hell but he doesnt, and thats so……… idk. it makes me insane. it just really shows his kindness n humanity, he isnt a saint or anything but he just… deals with sm and never complains T__T

AND HONESTLY THE WHOLE BINDING VOW THING….. ive been hoping for it to happen ever since the shinjuku fight started LMAO, i just think itd be the perfect end to gojo’s character arc!!! forcing him to live without that gift, and letting us see for ourselves if he still remains the same… and IF it really does happen (i still have hope lmaoo) i think we’re going to see that he will!! he may not be the strongest but nothing will change, he’ll still be our gojo :’3 

aaa overall i just wanna say tysm for writing this all out sel…. T__T twice at that!!! youre honestly so sweet im just. exploding rn LMAOO thank you for all ur kind words abt my writing n everything!!! it means sm!!! and thank u for taking the time to read it in the first place <33

oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru gojo chooses north.

word count; 5.2k

contents; satoru gojo, canon divergence, HEAVY jjk spoilers (for chapter 236!! but also kinda 237), fix-it fic, me coping w/ the manga for 5k words straight, canon-typical violence and death, implied stsg, probably non-canon compliant use of binding vows (but do i care? no), gojo satoru lives.

a/n; yeaaa this is literally just me coping <3 needed to write this for my mental health. he’s fine guys trust me

the experience is not altogether unfamiliar, on its own.

he’s felt it before. even now, he can still vividly recall it; a girl he failed to protect, a boy he failed to save. a man with a scar on his bottom lip.

that sickening numbness, as he lied in a pool of his own blood. sticking to his hair and tattered clothes, the colour red flooding his subconscious. that cold, cold sensation — a jarring shift, chilling and ruthless, going from everything to nothing. tiptoeing the line between life and death. 

emptiness. sinking deeper into the abyss, that all-enveloping darkness. that awful feeling of pure helplessness.

he could never forget it.

back then, though, gojo is certain he didn’t feel this way. all he could think about twelve years ago was survival — clinging to the weak flutter of his heart, a dying butterfly. clawing his way up to the skies. anything to escape that harrowing sensation, a kind of desperation all humans feel in the face of certain death, spurring him on. but now —

he almost welcomes it. nearly content in its approach. it should frighten him, but it doesn’t.

through half-lidded eyes, vision blurred by sweat and blood and dust, gojo watches the sky.

it's beautiful, he thinks. as beautiful as ever. peaceful, unchanging, soothing in an eerie kind of way. that clear blue, fading a little at the corners as his muddled mind grows just a little darker, a little more fatigued. he can barely gather the strength to keep his eyelids open. 

yet he keeps his gaze on that endless sky, as if it’s all he’s ever known.

with every passing second, the world grows just a little more blurry. pale dots spread around the corners of his vision, like grains of stardust in an ever-expanding cosmos, clouding his senses. there’s a buzzing in his head that won’t go away. everything looks as if it's spinning, and he can barely tell left from right, north from south. everything is growing darker, so fast that it’s alarming, and gojo can’t seem to even think clearly.

but he can still see that blue, blue sky. bluer than he ever remembers it being. even as snow begins to fall, descending upon shinjuku as if bidding him farewell. the sky takes on a gray hue, but that shade of blue is still all gojo can see, as he takes shallow breaths and half-heartedly attempts to remain conscious. willing himself not to give in just yet, choking on his own blood. 

and it's an odd feeling, really. one he never thought he'd meet again, but here it is, it's back — and it's all-consuming. beckoning him into a place he’s never been before. the unknown. 

it's not scary. gojo doesn’t think he has it in him to feel fear, anymore. but it's a strange sensation, as death kisses its way up his neck, sending shivers down his spine; as the numbness spreads, devouring him whole.

it’s unknown. thoroughly and wholly. and that unknown is overwhelming, all-encompassing, it’s all he can see before him, it's —

ah.

gojo takes a deep breath. the air burns his lungs.

everything's ending, isn't it?

it would be so easy. to simply close his eyes, let them flutter shut as that all-encompassing sensation takes him down to earth. to allow himself to simply rest, for a moment. wouldn’t that be nice?

it would be so easy.

gojo watches the sky. it's all he can do. 

the numbness keeps spreading throughout every cell of his body. he can barely feel the blood trickling down his chin, or the harsh bite of the winter cold, his skin buzzing with ache. he can't feel his arms or his legs, and he knows exactly why. everything in the world is closing in on him and god, he just feels so fucking tired.

ah. ah. more darkness. more numbness.

everything and nothing, all at once. slipping away into oblivion. the snow keeps falling but he can't see anything, can't hear anything, can't feel anything, anything at all.

nothing. nothing. less than nothing.

— and then, suddenly, an airport.

"yo."

gojo blinks.

a boy. a boy with black hair, tied into a small bun. a dead boy. his best friend.

suguru stands before him, and he looks exactly the same as gojo remembers. young, bright, with those awkward bangs still hanging over his face. grinning boyishly, and greeting him with youthful cheer. 

gojo feels young, too, he realizes — the weight on his shoulders a little less heavy, the familiar black of his sunglasses obscuring his vision. but he can still see the flicker of suguru’s cursed energy clear as day. as if he never left.

feigning a mild displeasure, gojo makes a face. he hears himself speak, but his mind and six eyes continue to spin in circles, trying to comprehend the sight in front of him. trying to make it understandable, figure out what’s going on. 

but he doesn’t succeed. because it’s impossible to understand. and, really, that’s answer enough. 

huh.

so this is what the afterlife is like?

he inhales through his nose, basking in the clear air, and it doesn’t burn his lungs. his chest feels lighter than it’s been in years.

that seems a little too good to be true. 

"you’re kidding me. this sucks.”

suguru makes a kind of face like he’s pouting, plopping down in the seat right next to gojo’s. the white haired boy stretches his limbs out and huffs, pretending the sight in front of him doesn't send a tremor running through his very soul.

suguru continues to speak and gojo continues to listen, all while observing the scenery in front of him.

the airport looks familiar. through the glass windows he can see a glimmer of the blue sky, and a plane waiting to take flight into the clouds. the air smells of summer and jet fuel and new beginnings. it’s pleasantly cool, a light breeze caressing his skin and coaxing a hum from the confines of his throat. 

(he remembers this airport. remembers having his arms full of vending machine snacks, trailing after suguru as he dealt with all the annoying technicalities. amanai was there, too, watching a plane soar up into the sky with childlike wonder. a little anxious, as she boarded the plane to okinawa, and then back to tokyo.

her first and last flight.)

suguru is there, right next to him, and he’s speaking. breathing. like something out of a dream, the kind that always haunts gojo in his sleep.

he breathes in, and then out. 

suguru is there. and not just him – nanami and haibara are, too. all young, all dead. all somehow breathing; he sees them inhale and he sees them exhale. he hears them speak and it’s like nothing ever changed. 

they speak of regrets, of south and of north. nanami doesn’t seem to regret a single thing, and gojo is glad. even yaga is there, he notices belatedly. even amanai, and her maid, and a certain man with a scar on his bottom lip. everyone all together again.

the airport buzzes with warmth. nostalgia, as suguru’s laughter rings in his ears. and gojo grins, in tandem, bright and childlike. wallowing in the tender atmosphere. 

the sight in front of his eyes is perfect, he thinks. absolutely perfect. a glimmer of spring, one he never quite managed to forget. a vibrant flicker of blue, one he thought he’d lost forever.

his one and only blue spring of youth, right in front of his all-seeing eyes.

a little too good to be true.

with a sigh, gojo stretches idly, smiling a little to himself. his joints don’t ache, his head isn’t buzzing with fatigue, and his heart feels lighter than it's been in recent memory. 

“now i’m hoping this isn’t a dream,” he hears himself mutter, allowing his eyes to flutter shut at last. he can still see suguru’s cursed energy, and everyone else’s. he isn’t alone. what a nice thought. 

and it’s strange, gojo thinks. it really is. he’s dead. sukuna killed him. he’s dead, his remains are lying somewhere in the streets of shinjuku, and that should bother him. he should be punching the floor and screaming, cursing sukuna’s name with every fiber of his being — it should frighten him, the realization that everything has ended.

but it doesn’t. 

gojo isn’t afraid. and he isn’t upset, either. he bears no grudge against anyone, just like that day twelve years ago.

he’s with suguru, now, and his juniors. his old teacher. the people he cares for are with him, and the airport smells so nice. everyone is young, and happy, and none of them will ever have to kill or be killed again. 

calling it anything less than heaven would be doing it a disservice. 

gojo smiles, exhaling a relieved breath. one he hadn’t realized he’d been holding til now, stuck in the back of his throat for the past decade. a tiny thought makes it to the forefront of his brain, like a spring breeze flitting in through an open window.

like this, he thinks, i could die with no regrets.

“— except that’s not true.” a voice proclaims. “is it?”

gojo opens his eyes.

suguru looks at him. everything goes silent. everyone else has already gone blurry, a little faded, as if they aren’t what’s really important. as if the entire world has narrowed down to just this; him, and suguru, in the corner of an airport too precious for words. that one decisive slice of heaven. 

suguru opens his mouth, and speaks, and his voice has a finality to it that fills gojo with a mellow kind of dread. 

they look into each other’s eyes, and both know what’s coming.

“the students are outclassed.” suguru rests his chin on the heel of his palm. ”you said it yourself — sukuna wasn’t giving it his all when he fought you. he still has more than a couple cards up his sleeve, doesn’t he? like his incarnation.”

gojo listens to suguru speak, not saying a word.

“they’re no match for him,” he continues, unperturbed. “all of them are going to die. every single one.”

suguru leans back in his chair, still looking straight into gojo’s eyes. seeing through him, gaze filled with a certain sharpness. a little cruel, but there’s a kindness there, too. as if he’s simply ripping the band-aid off, trying to make it as painless as possible. 

he clicks his tongue.

“and you still haven’t buried my body, either.”

a moment passes. then two.

gojo smiles to himself, rueful. a little saddened. 

“.. damn,” he grins, weakly. leaning back in his chair, slumping against the soft leather. “couldn’t you have kept indulging me for just a bit longer?”

suguru smiles. a soft thing, in the flicker of the light. a little too good to be true. “sorry,” he chimes. “but the plane is leaving soon.”

as if on cue, the pa system sounds.

flight to okinawa; departing in nineteen minutes.

“it hasn’t left, yet,” suguru hums, and it sounds like an inevitability. ringing in gojo’s ears. “you know what that means, don’t you?”

he does. he does, but it still hurts. gojo looks into suguru’s eyes, and sees himself reflected in them — young, transparent. blue. fading, but not quite faded. not quite dead.

and maybe it’s to be expected. maybe he was just trying to delude himself into believing the alternative, into believing that an afterlife as sweet as this could really be waiting for him. maybe it was naive, a childish fantasy. 

but still —

”haah.” a heavy exhale, fatigued. gojo slumps even further into his seat, squeezing his eyes shut. running a hand through the soft strands of his hair. ”oh, gimme a break. and here i thought i could finally relax for once.”

a chuckle flows from suguru’s lips, amused. ”you aren’t the type to go down like that,” he murmurs. ”c’mon, satoru. there are still things you need to do.”

”how?” gojo scoffs. ”i’m split in half. and i’m too exhausted to use my reverse cursed technique.”

”eh,” suguru shrugs. ”you’ll manage.”

gojo shoots him a dubious look. ”you’re acting like it’s a papercut,” he huffs, crossing his arms. ”my guts are on the fuckin’ pavement.”

”oh, quit your complaining already," suguru rolls his eyes, and shoots him an accusatory glance. "i died with a hole through my chest. at least your heart is still intact.”

the white haired boy gapes at him, offended. ”i wanted to make it painless for you!”

”well, it hurt like a bitch. so thanks for that.”

gojo pouts, fighting back a smile. he thinks suguru must be doing the same. and it’s juvenile, a little twisted — but then again, weren’t they always?

suguru cocks his head. beckoning gojo into taking action. ”you’ve still got some fight left in you,” he says, and there’s a fondness to it. ”you always do.”

”get up, satoru.”

silence. unbroken, unperturbed. if he focuses enough, he thinks he can hear the distant buzzing of cicadas, the crinkling of soda cans. the whistling of the wind. placebos; memories ghosting his subconscious. 

it’s quiet, for a while. gojo stares into space, blinking slowly. then he parts his lips.

”suguru.”

the boy in question turns towards him. but gojo looks up, instead — eyes set on the roof, like he’s trying to see beyond it. into the comfort of the blue sky. 

suguru hums, a cue for him to follow. and gojo closes his eyes.

”i think… i might be tired.”

silence. no one says a thing.

”i think i’d prefer to stay here,” he admits, a forlorn look in his eyes. tapping his fingers on his knee. ”in the past, like this.”

the scent of jet fuel and summer lies heavy in the air. gojo inhales it, greedy. as if savouring it. trying to make it a part of his being, filling his lungs with sweet nostalgia so it never goes away.

”we could just stay here. together,” he muses, barely above a whisper. there’s a kind of longing to the tilt of his voice, something soft. ”couldn’t we? never moving forward, or back.”

the words taste salty, on his tongue. an ocean breeze. a whisper. ”we could just stay like this.”

suguru’s gaze trails from satoru, down to his lap. his bangs follow the slow movement, silky strands falling over his eye. the chuckle that drifts from his lips doesn’t have much humour to it. 

”haha… you’ve never been the type to stay in one place for too long, satoru.”

gojo clenches his fist.

”you want me to go back,” he hears himself say, somewhat bitter. ”you want me to go back, and then what? there’s nothing i can do. i’m not the strongest, anymore.”

”you are.” suguru’s voice is firm, decisive. ”you can still win. you know exactly what you need to do. there’s only one way to get out of this.”

gojo sighs. one hand in his hair, tousling it. mildly frustrated. ”… it’s risky.”

”you’re bleeding out.”

”if i do this — i won’t ever be the same.” gojo turns to look at suguru. ”i sure as hell won’t be the strongest, anymore.”

”and would that be such a bad thing?”

silence. the two boys look at each other — one dead and one half-alive, both connected to the other. for eternity. suguru’s eyes are full of understanding, as they look into the blue of satoru’s. 

”there’s always been a gap between you and everyone else. that’s what you said, before. aren’t you tired of it?”

gojo closes his eyes.

that’s right. that aching gap. the solitude that comes with absolute strength — a weight he’s borne all his life. doomed never to connect with others, never to be understood. doomed to always live in the sky, far away from the earth and the ocean.

the title of the strongest. a cross he alone had to bear.

(did he ever really want it? or was he just resigned to it, conditioned from the very beginning?)

the feeling of isolation that’s been haunting him for decades seeps into his skin. the cruel knowledge that no one will ever truly know him; even worse, the knowledge that it’s all for the best. you can admire a flower, and help it bloom, but you can’t ask it to understand you.

such a cruel curse to be born with.

suguru’s voice fills his mind. the flicker of his cursed energy is gentle, like an ocean wave rolling in right before the sun sets. ”you said it yourself, satoru.” gojo can hear the smile in his voice. ”you love everyone.”

love. it always comes down to that, doesn't it? the greatest curse of them all.

(but he could never bring himself to fully throw it away.)

”there are still people waiting for you, out there,” suguru reminds him. and gojo knows that he’s right.

he still hasn’t buried suguru’s body. that thing is still inside his head, doing god knows what. and his students — they must be fighting sukuna, right now. if he’s lucky, no one’s dead yet. if he’s lucky. then there’s shoko, of course. and ijichi, everyone else from the school.

not just that — the world itself is waiting on him. waiting for him to pass on, so it can crumble away. waiting for him to make it, so he can stitch it back together. 

dying isn’t a luxury satoru gojo can afford. he knows that, he does, but —

dammit.

”suguru,” he starts, hesitant. voice more feeble than he ever remembers it sounding. ”what… should i do, from here on out?” a pause. uncertain. ”where should i go?”

suguru raises a single eyebrow, tilting his head. ”do you really need me to tell you that?” he asks, a little teasing. gojo’s reply is instantaneous.

”i do.”

the airport falls silent, again. 

”i’ll listen to you,” he elaborates, tapping the edge of his chair, absentmindedly. eyes shining with a glimmer of something tender. ”so… it has to be you.”

suguru inhales, softly. breathing out in a meek chuckle, with a soft shake of his head. ”well, in that case…”

a smile. he meets gojo’s gaze. ”then i think you should go north.”

gojo looks into his eyes. a moment passes, slow, detached from space and time. their eyes meet, and in suguru’s eyes, gojo sees a reflection of their youth.

what a shame.

”alrighty, then.”

placing his palms on his knees, gojo gets up from his seat. stretching his arms with a soft groan. a sigh flows from his lips, drifting out into the clear air. 

”so much for finally getting a vacation,” he huffs, frowning as he casts a jealous glance at his best friend. ”you dead people have it easy, you know that?”

suguru’s still smiling, but he’s not getting up from his seat. the pa system sounds, again. a little louder this time.

flight to okinawa; departing in six minutes.

a deep breath. air flows into his lungs, and then back out; soaking up the summer air he knows he’ll never quite get a taste of again.

suguru stays right where he is. young, dead. smiling. the same smile he wore when gojo killed him, framed by the setting sun. the same kind of sunset that’s beginning to form outside the translucent windows of the airport, nostalgic and sweet, dyeing the clouds in a soft pinkish hue.

it’s breathtaking. 

”will i see you?” gojo asks, before he can stop himself. eyes still stuck to the setting sun. ”when everything ends.”

…

suguru chuckles, again. rueful. gojo thinks it sounds just a bit meek, a little like he’s holding back tears. ”maybe,” he breathes, shrugging halfheartedly. not meeting his eyes. ”who knows?”

it’s not the answer gojo wants to hear. but he’ll take what he can get.

and finally, suguru gets up. slowly, methodically. elegant, in the way he moves, the way he brushes non-existent dust off his baggy pants. smiling, hair swaying softly with the breeze. gojo finds his gaze, and that smile shifts into a lazy grin. one so distinctly suguru that it can’t possibly be just a figment of his imagination. 

”don’t find out too soon,” he quips, teasingly. ”alright?”

a slap. gojo doesn’t see it coming, and it knocks him forward — he stumbles slightly, lanky legs moving clumsily, sunglasses falling off at the impact. his back stings, a little. 

over his shoulder, he looks back at suguru. the boy has a hand raised, and his grin is playful, brimming with warmth. except he’s no longer a boy — now he’s wearing traditional robes, hair much longer, face a little more hardened. but that grin is still the same as ever. gojo thinks he looks almost proud.

”go get ’em, satoru.”

gojo blinks.

the grin that breaks out across his lips, then, is wide. bright, brimming with youth, lighting up every corner of his face. almost overwhelmingly sweet. it envelops his very being, as he stands there, clad in his black compression shirt and baggy pants. hair a little less messy than it was in high school, face a little more hardened — but he hopes his grin, at least, looks the same as ever.

he turns his back on suguru, and puffs out his chest. trying to hide the sappy smile still lingering on his lips, the glassiness of his eyes. his voice comes out loud, cheery, echoing throughout the airport — but still somehow so tender.

”roger that!”

gojo looks ahead. the airport is blurred, a little hazy, but a bright light shines farther up ahead. a beacon for him to follow, one that blinds him if he looks at it for too long. blue, white, golden — the colours of the sky. beckoning him forward, to a familiar place.

he takes one step north.

”ah, satoru. one more thing.”

the sound of suguru’s voice stops him in his tracks. ”hm?” gojo turns on his heel, white hair tousled by the soft breeze. a little confused. ”what is it now?”

suguru grins. the whole airport smells like spring. 

”—, — —.”

…

one long, tender moment passes by. gojo doesn’t even breathe, mouth falling open slightly, in a way that must look comical to the man in front of him.

the airport glimmers like a marble in the sun. transparent, blurred, but still somehow so real. suguru’s words echo in his mind. 

then gojo laughs, the sound bubbling up from his throat like seafoam on a scorching summer day. hearty and deep, coaxed out from the very bottom of his gut — genuine. a little breathless. he can’t wipe away the grin on his face, wouldn’t do it even if he could. his blue eyes crinkle, as he looks at suguru, showing off his dimples and teeth.

”so corny,” he teases. suguru rolls his eyes.

”hey, don’t blame me. this is your imagination.”

a huff slips from his lips. ”yeah, yeah…” gojo waves him off. then he meets his eyes, again, still grinning boyishly. ”i’ll hold you to that, okay?”

”got it,” suguru chirps. ”good luck out there, satoru.”

”pssh. who do you think you’re talking to?”

the men exchange smiles, one final time. funny, how that’s always how their story ends; with a heartfelt smile. even if it’s coated in blood, or nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

then gojo turns around, again, and takes a step forward. not looking back this time. trusting suguru to still be there, watching over him. like always.

the bright light at the end of the airport glimmers, tantalizing, mesmerizing. suguru is right — there’s only one way to get out of this. only one way to make it back alive.

and it’s risky. very much so. it’s a gamble, the greatest one gojo’s ever made, even worse than that time twelve years ago with the reverse cursed technique. 

it’s a gamble, all or nothing.

binding vows are dangerous, fickle things. built on equivalent exchange. give something and get something, of equal value. sacrifice and gain. 

gojo’s thought about it, before. a morbid curiosity.

what could he possibly gain by offering the greatest treasure of the jujutsu world? 

he lifts one hand up, to caress his face. lingering over the skin of his eyelids, now closed. but he can still see the cursed energy around him. burned into his retinas. 

the six eyes. the blessing of sight.

a blessing. a blessing he never once asked for, one he was simply born with. born with all this power, doomed to live above the rest. all for a pair of eyes that never seem to see the things that really matter.

and, really, it’s a gamble.

gojo takes a deep breath, and then one large step forward.

(buddha left the royal life behind him at 29 years of age, he recalls. and then he sought out enlightenment.)

the light comes closer, and closer. lotus flowers bless his path. he takes seven steps forward, and his path blooms out before him; one flower blooming by his feet for every step he takes. seven steps north.

i’ll give you everything, he speaks to the someone watching the world. a god, a natural order, himself — it doesn’t really matter. i’ll give you all six. 

in exchange — 

the light is close, now. so close he can almost touch it. it burns his skin, but he doesn’t falter. he doesn’t look away, eyes seeing through the blindness and reaching out for something. something alive.

don’t let me die, he bargains. give me enough of it to kill him.

i still have things i need to do.

one more step, out of the airport —

(and satoru gojo makes a sacrifice.)

a binding vow is made.

the six eyes dissipate, like vapour drifting off into the darkness of a never-ending cosmos.

when gojo opens his eyes, he’s met with a cold, gray sky. 

the world shifts on its axis before him.

everything looks different. he can’t see, but he can, it’s just not the same as before. it’s naked, and raw, and surface-level. not enough to sink his teeth into.

he can still see cursed energy, feel the flicker of it all around him, but it’s hazy. it’s not clear enough, not enough for him to get a good grasp on — like the world lost its saturation. like everything got tilted slightly to the left. an eerie feeling that something isn’t as it should be.

and wow, okay. this is new.

but gojo parts his lips, weakly, and breathes in — and the air tastes the same as ever. cold, crispy. it fills his lungs and he exhales it through his nose. a human act. a breath of life.

i’m still alive.

it’s an odd feeling, like someone took a heavy weight off his shoulders. like someone stripped him of everything that makes him him. an strange sensation, heavy, entirely impossible to ignore. however —

the gain after the loss hits him almost immediately, embracing him with a burst of cursed energy so violently overwhelming that his sight becomes entirely irrelevant. it devours his very being.

everything becomes a blur. 

— i’ll give you everything. 

so, in exchange…

give me enough cursed energy to go on a good rampage.

the cursed energy within him spikes, so sudden and violent that gojo fears his skin might break open. buzzing like flies inside his veins, a vibrant burst of life, every colour in the universe. all the power one can expect from willingly casting away the greatest jewel of the jujutsu world.

gojo moves his fingers. he can feel them, finally — all limbs intact. positive cursed energy flows from his brain, no longer exhausted beyond comprehension. enough, more than enough to give him access to every possibility within his soul.

belatedly, he realizes that his sight isn’t the only thing that’s been weakened. the control he’s grown so used to having over his cursed energy is dwindling, and fast; that firm grip seems to have left with the six eyes, replaced by a set of shaky hands. gojo has experience, and for now, it’s enough. but he still has to concentrate to contain the nearly overwhelming flicker of his cursed energy, stinging his skin as if it can’t fully be contained by his body anymore. prickling his veins. it feels a little like trying to keep water from running through the gaps between your fingers. 

and he feels naked, in a way, suddenly living without something that defines his very being. a little hollowed out. a little wrong, like someone reached a hand through his ribs and pulled out his heart. 

but damn, does it feel good.

his cursed energy output is all-encompassing. his mind feels more clear than he ever remembers it being, and it’s like the world is at his fingertips. something similar to what he felt twelve years ago, but still so different. 

it isn’t ascension, not even close. quite the opposite. but that feeling of freedom is still so abundant. it’s all he can see before him; endless possibilities. 

twelve years ago, satoru gojo faced a certain man, and rose to the skies. he will never, ever forget it. that flicker of eternal solitude, the burst of overwhelming euphoria. that sense of everything being just right.

twelve years of living in the sky, and now his feet meet the ground, at last.

everything feels different. everything looks different. things won’t be the same, ever again — but maybe, suguru was right. maybe that’s not such an awful thing.

to be reborn. to be given a choice.

gojo opens his eyes, and finally takes in all the sights before him. everything happens in a blur, so fast he can barely catch up — his body acts before his mind, and suddenly he’s face to face with sukuna.

not megumi, but sukuna. fully incarnated.

and he looks displeased. almost frustrated.

”how?” 

the look of pure shock on his face is more satisfying than gojo could ever put into words; the satisfaction of seeing a king fall to his knees.

somewhere in the background, he thinks he hears a cacophony of voices, awfully familiar in a way that has warmth blooming in his chest. the students, he assumes — voices of shock, and something he tentatively recognizes as relief. but he doesn’t have the time to let his guard down, just yet.

(no matter how much he’d like to look back at them and give them a self-assured peace sign, bask in their smiling faces.)

instead, he answers sukuna. ”a binding vow,” he grins, and he thinks he must look a little manic, gesturing towards his eyes with his thumb. ”gave these puppies away. didn’t expect that, did’ya?”

sukuna looks at him, for a second.

then he laughs, loud and ugly, grotesque. taunting. he looks at gojo with something that almost resembles pity, something bordering on disappointment.

”pathetic,” he spits, all teeth. ”what good is living if it’s not at the top?”

gojo simply smiles.

he recalls that one question. eleven years ago, somewhere close to the ruins of the very street he’s standing in now. the question that flipped his entire world upside down.

(are you the strongest because you’re satoru gojo? or are you satoru gojo because you’re the strongest?)

a grin breaks out across his lips. his cursed energy pulsates inside his veins, eager to be let loose, and he takes on a fighting stance. parting his lips to speak, unsure of whose question he’s answering.

”well, we’re about to find out.”

the sky is gray. even so, all he can see is that familiar shade of blue, as clear as ever. even without the six eyes.

gojo smiles. 

just keep watching, suguru. 

this time, i definitely won’t lose.

[leviathans-watching]

hello, darling! How are you? I love your writing, and I'm obsessed with your blog aesthetic as well! <3 take good care of yourself because you obviously deserve it from how hard you're working

my request is quite simple! please don't feel forced to write anything you don't want to, and feel free to ignore this if desired! I was listening to "My Girlfriend is a Witch" (October Country) and I thought to myself: the obey me brothers with an s/o who's a witch/sorcerer! I wasn't thinking about ALL characters (because my favorite is Lucifer), but feel free to actually include anyone you want! Thank you for your time and I appreciate the effort!

> if you desire something more specific: the MC would be a human exchange student like Solomon, using magic to some things and making potions, having also very good cooking, and admiring storytelling. Any trouble envolving dark magic among the brothers? MC can resolve it! Or at least try to help. Another witches are bothering Mammon again? MC will talk to them, since the witches in question are on their class anyways.

(also, may I be 🍓 anon? hehe <3)

lucifer x witch!mc

includes: lucifer x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .5k | rated g | m.list

a/n: this was so cute!! i also have a longer series with sorcerer mc here! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come say hi!! and yes, you can absolutely be 🍓 anon hehe

please reblog <3

at first, lucifer hadn’t trusted you in the slightest. sure, he’d technically been the one to choose you as the new applicant, but he hadn’t actually looked at your application, something that was definitely coming back to bite him.

at least you weren’t part of the coven that mammon was entangled in, he had thought to himself, trying to look on the bright side, dim as it was.

slowly though, you grew on him. though some of your pursuits had ended poorly, like when you’d accidentally burned off your eyebrows making a potion, or had a spell go wrong and made everyone in rad only able to tell the truth, he began to feel more amused by them than irritated, a sure sign you were endearing yourself to him.

and some of your skills were quite helpful, he had to admit. when belphie had gotten sick with some form of rare illness, you’d saved the day by cooking up a remedy when even simeon and solomon were unable to. and some of your teas and herb mixtures were useful, not to mention delicious.

now, lucifer mused, he was completely head over heels for you. sure, there were still things that you did that gone on his nerves, or thins you said that he didn’t fully agree with, but you truly were one of a kind and now incredibly important to him. plus, your sense of humor was amusing, even if he’d never admit it.

(for halloween you’d decided to dress up as a classic witch, complete with a black hat and broomstick. somehow, he’d been convinced to join you as a vampire, and diavolo had been a werewolf. it was silly and lowbrow, but he had one of the pictures saved as his phone background.)

“what are you thinking so hard about?” you ask him, drawing him back to the present. a grimoire is open in front of you, and he can see your chicken-scratch handwriting in the margins.

“you,” he replies simply, and you make a face.

“what about me?”

“i didn’t really like you when we first met,” he confesses, “so it’s quite strange how much that has changed.”

“you know, i get that a lot,” you reply, unbothered. “a lot of people find me irritating.”

“i cannot fathom why.”

“oh, shut it,” you chide light-heartedly. “if you keep going i might have to curse you or something.”

the threat, which you used often, was empty, something you both knew. “right,” lucifer says, giving you a smile. “well, we don’t want that. i’ll be on my best behavior from now on, i swear.”

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[deepdarkdelights]

Purgatory (Yoongi x Reader)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 12.4k

Series: (2/7) Predator Universe

Warnings: 18+, (Soft-ish) Yandere, Vampire Yoongi, Stalking, Obsession, Blood (Lots of it), Gore, Fear, Panic/Anxiety, Depictions of dead bodies, Devious Intentions, Mourning, Self Harm, Murder, Isolation, Existentialism, Talks of Religion, Talks of Life and Death, Serious Illness

I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals. 

Preview: Yoongi wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot what had happened in that alleyway, the monster usually remembered it all for him and locked it away in the darkest corners of his mind. But he did know there would be one thing he would remember after this, and that was that he was willing to kill for you. It didn’t matter who it was, if they tried to harm you or get in his way he would tear them down without a thought or a shadow of remorse. 

A/N: Hehe, surprise everyone! That’s right, the next series takes place in the Predator Universe! I got so inspired (specifically by Yoongi) to turn this into a series. I already have ideas for Jimin and Tae as well. Now, I hope you enjoy and I can’t wait to see you in the comments and my inbox 💜💜💜

A life without meaning is as good as being dead. 

In the darkness of his room, Yoongi laid with his arm thrown over his eyes and his other hand resting limply on his chest.

Beneath the frigid skin of his palm, there was nothing. In his chest, he held a black heart that no longer beat a rhythm that had once been familiar to him. 

He felt like nothing. 

Life had not been kind to Min Yoongi when it still held him in its clutches. As a young man in the 1600’s of Salem, he was damned. 

He had done everything right, he had been the perfect church boy, god-fearing and worshipping all the same. He had attended services, prayed every day, and attempted to avoid the calls of sin. He had done everything perfectly, and still, it had not been enough.  

Especially when he unknowingly consorted with the Devil. 

He could attribute his damnation to two sources, one being the first girl that fell down in the fields in a fit of shakes and the arrival of Kim Namjoon. Both who had been thought to be the byproducts of darkness. 

The first girl was thought to have been possessed or tormented by witchcraft. And with the arrival of Namjoon, he brought the seeds of sin. He spoke about things that were rebuked by the villagers, science, philosophy, art, and literature. He did not attend service, he did not pray, and he kept far away from the church only leaving his abode when the sun disappeared. 

And Yoongi made the mistake of befriending him. 

He had taken an immediate liking to the traveler, as someone who had only known the life inside of his village, he had been eager to learn about the rest of the world. Namjoon had liked being a teacher. It was one thing to amass such a wide array of knowledge, but it was another to be able to impart that knowledge to someone else. 

And the two of them loved to debate, especially when it concerned the meaning of life. 

“There is no meaning, Yoongi. You can control your fate, your direction, there is no greater reason, no higher power.” He had explained with a pointed look. 

“How blasphemous,” Yoongi had chuckled, his church boy persona having steadily weakened under the time he had spent as Namjoon’s friend. “Of course there is a purpose, a higher meaning, otherwise we would not be here.” 

“Or maybe that is the cruel twist of fate, we are born weak, we live weakly, and we die feebly. You live to die, what kind of purpose is that?” He shot back. 

“Dying, my friend, is the side effect of living. Not its purpose. Life is a gift, death is a release.”

“And I suppose you are referring to your promised ‘paradise’.” He scoffed. 

“Careful now, you wouldn’t want him to hear you,” Yoongi replied with a click of his tongue, referring not only to the aforementioned higher power but also the most prolific member of the church that had been hunting for the supposed demons plaguing their village. 

“I fear no man and no god,” Namjoon said with a roll of his eyes. “And neither should you.”

“Well, not all of us can be as liberated as you deem yourself to be.” 

“But you could be.” He responded, a curious darkness swirling in his eyes. 

Yoongi, at that moment, could not help but feel unnerved, like something was wrong. Namjoon’s gaze had always been unsettling. At times Yoongi had thought his companion’s eyes to be almost black, seeing as he could never see his friend fully in anything but candlelight. But now, he could see they were a deep, dark red. So dark they appeared black in the nighttime lighting. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, slowly. 

Namjoon said nothing as he stood and retrieved a small glass vial that he slipped into a leather pouch. Said man set the bottle on the table and lightly pushed it across the wooden surface to his friend. 

“Do me a favor, drink this tonight. I have a feeling everything will start to unravel soon and you will need this in due time for your own protection.” 

“Protection? What is it, holy water?”

“Please, what do you take me for? Just trust me, Min Yoongi.” 

Yoongi wished he hadn’t trusted him. That night, in the safety of his home, he uncorked the vial and tossed back the contents of the bottle. The minute it hit his tongue he knew what it was. The taste and smell of blood were unmistakable and as the thick liquid trickled down his throat he gagged. His lips had been stained black and the vial lay shattered on the floor.

In a panic, he hastily washed out his mouth but it had been too late, he had drunk a considerable amount. 

From there everything went downhill. Namjoon had departed the village before Yoongi could question him about the blood and at the same time the persecutions and executions increased to a startling amount. 

And he made the mistake of opening his mouth. 

“How can we be judge, jury, and executioner? It is not in our hands to decide who lives and dies.”

He sealed his own fate alongside the few men who spoke out, and the countless number of women who lost their lives. 

Yoongi will never forget the feeling of drowning. That had been his trial, if he did not sink, then he was a witch. So, he was led into the river and bound and thrown in. He remembered how scared he was, how quickly everything had happened. He remembered simultaneously praying and begging not to die. The peace he once felt with the inevitable release of death was long gone as he struggled in the water.

His chest grew tighter and tighter as he struggled to continue submerged underwater, his lungs begging him to open his mouth and take a breath despite knowing they would be flooded with water. 

But ironically, that had been the most peaceful part. His lungs had burned painfully the longer he kept his mouth closed. And when he finally parted his lips and breathed in, he felt peace. It was easier to smother himself with the torrents of water than to burn without air. 

Death had been easier. 

The last things his human mind could remember were his vision blurring and fading out, his hair floating around his head as bubbles and ripples of water danced around him, and the feeling of the water filling his lungs.

And then, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

Until he was born again. 

That painful burn was back when he opened his eyes. His throat was on fire. He had rolled onto his side quickly, opening his mouth as he gagged out the water that had clogged his esophagus. But even after that, the fire remained stoked in the back of his throat. The feeling could only be described as if you had been wandering through a desert for days without a single drop of water which was as confusing as it was ironic.

Everything was far too much, the slightest sound or scent assaulting his senses. The sounds of the forest that were normally calming and quaint were cacophonous in his ears, he could smell the fish and river water intensely as well as the mud of the river bank he laid in. 

He was so confused, scared, and lost. 

He could clearly remember the light of the sun reflecting off of the surface of the river when he had been thrown in. But now the moonlight bathed everything silver in his sight. How long had he been passed out for? What had happened, how did he get there, how did he survive?

“Yoongi.” That was Namjoon’s voice. 

Yoongi scrambled backward, his head snapping up as he caught sight of his friend. He stood a few feet away, his eyes glowing a bright red in the dark. He noticed now that he could see Namjoon in more clarity than he ever could before, in fact, everything was clear, sharp, and perfect. 

“What - what did you do to me?” Yoongi croaked, his hand coming up to cup his throat that burned in pain. 

“I saved you, Yoongi,” Namjoon said, crossing the gap between them and settling into a crouch in front of him. “I did what your God couldn’t do, I gave you life and immortality.” 

“Immortality? What do you mean?” 

“I made you like me, we’re brothers now you and me. One and the same.” 

And that was when he noticed it. Catching sight of his reflection in a puddle, it all became clear. His skin was deathly pale, glowing under the light of the moon. His features were more defined and perfect than they had ever been. And, to his horror, the blood-red eyes of his friend were his own now. 

Namjoon had damned him. 

~~~~~~~

It had been 329 years since he had been changed. 

At first, he had refused to believe his friend, bringing himself to the brink of starvation, discovering his sensitivity to the sun, and all-around putting himself in danger. 

And then there was the feeding frenzy. Namjoon had brought him his first victim and from there he spent years in a crazed blood lust. His memories were foggy from that time, his existence was being fueled by the need to satiate his thirst. He had no idea how many innocent people he had slaughtered in the first few decades of his damnation, and a part of him was happy he could not remember because then it would just make everything far worse. 

Whereas Namjoon thrived in his immortality, Yoongi despised it. He had lost everything that had once held meaning in his life. He no longer believed there was a meaning in existence, he denounced god, the devil, hell, and heaven. If he were to die, he was certain he would be met with a pitch-black void of nothingness. 

He was depressed, withdrawn, spending centuries wallowing in self-hatred and misery. 

When he was human he was innocent, ignorant to the monsters that lurked in the night. He believed in so much more, he loved life.

 And now, his existence was purgatory.

Every day was the same, a constant bout of waiting. There was no splendid paradise or fiery pits of hell. Just the constant cycle of waiting and nothingness. 

His existence was purgatory. 

His relationship with Namjoon was tumultuous, as best. The two of them had rather different philosophies when it came to being the natural predators they were. Vampires. 

Namjoon had a god complex. He liked the power he had been imbued with. He decided who lived and died, who received punishment, and who deserved immortality. Yoongi saw it as nothing more than a curse. 

Because of this, they butted heads often. 

Yoongi had watched Namjoon bestow immortality on six more men who came to join their coven, nest, family whatever they wanted to call it. The first few times Yoongi had tried to stop him, but he quickly learned that no matter what he said Namjoon would ultimately make his decision. 

After Yoongi, next came Jin. It had just been Yoongi and Namjoon for the longest time. It was 1840 when they met at a gala. Jin was the heir to a wine company. He was rather vain, a bit of a narcissist, with a big ego like many of the aristocrats of his time. And the prospects of staying young forever and building his inheritance for hundreds of lifetimes over was appealing enough for him to throw his humanity away.  

And a few years later, The Great War began. That was when Namjoon found Hoseok. Serving under the license of a doctor, he changed Hoseok. He was a young soldier, far too young to have seen everything that he did. From the hell of the trenches to his life hanging in the balance in battle, it was a mustard gas attack that ended his life. It was Namjoon who decided he would be brought back. Hoseok was more bearable than Jin and Namjoon, but he was vicious in order to forget his pain. He didn’t care all that much for humanity anymore. 

Then there was Taehyung and Jimin. Those two in particular were a special case. Taehyung had been an artist when the stock market crashed, and just as quickly as it happened he became a starving artist. Jimin had been his friend and the two of them had been relying on one another for survival. Namjoon found them on the brink of death and offered them a way out. 

They were still rather young and insatiably hungry, something that carried over from their human lives. Jimin transitioned much easier, leaving his humanity completely on the other side, he liked the way he was. His...eating habits were much like that of a female praying mantis. Yoongi stayed away from him for the most part. 

Taehyung wasn’t as bad. 

It was Jungkook that really brought things to a tipping point. 

The six of them moved often, not really being able to stay in one area for too long when the few people that knew of them noticed their lack of aging. It was 1985 when they found Jungkook. Namjoon liked him immediately, having met him when he was posing as a professor at the local university. He became Jungkook’s mentor, not unlike what he had done with Yoongi. And slowly, he had planted the seeds of aggression and revenge in the young boy's mind. That was what he carried over with him into his new life. 

His hunger almost rivaled that of Taehyung and Jimin, but what separated him from them was his anger.

Yoongi had tried to stop Namjoon from interfering with the boy's life when he found out what was going on. But, like he normally did, Namjoon disregarded his worries. And he created what Yoongi was sure to be a real monster. 

Yoongi had liked him when he was human, the boy was shy, quiet, smart, and kept to himself. But his life had been so terrible, he took it out on everyone else when he was changed. Yoongi stayed as far away from Jungkook as he could, having no desire to hear about his games. 

Even Namjoon had come to realize just how bad it was, Jungkook was young but he was beyond sadistic. 

“You need to tighten the leash on that little monster of yours.” He had told him after Jungkook went on a particularly violent spree, returning from his hunt covered head to toe in thick layers of blood. 

“He’s still young, Yoongi. He’ll mature out of it, you remember what it was like.” The older vampire had said. 

“On the contrary, I don’t. I prefer to not think about that time.”

“You weren’t that different from him, believe it or not. I had a hard time keeping you in control of yourself. You were someone else for a while, insatiable, vengeful. How many members of the church did you slaughter again?”

“Watch it, Namjoon.” He hissed, his back and shoulders stiff with tension. 

The two of them remained still, unmoving. Neither blinking, breathing, or flinching. Namjoon was the first one to acquiesce with a tired sigh. 

“I’ll have a talk with him. I don’t particularly agree with how he plays with his food either, we’re a little more civilized than that.”

Satisfied with his promise, Yoongi turned and proceeded to try and leave the room. Although he was clearly finished with the conversation, Namjoon was not. 

“I know you resent me.”

Yoongi stopped at the doorway, his fingers gripping the frame so tightly the wood creaked beneath his hold. “I don’t resent you, Namjoon. I resent what you did to me.”

“You’re my brother, you expected me not to save you?”

“I expected you to give me a choice.”

“You wouldn’t have let me if I told you the truth.”

A laugh of disbelief parted his lips, the wood cracking as his hold tightened on the frame. 

“Careful, Namjoon. You sound like the God neither of us believes in anymore.”

~~~~~~~

Yoongi preferred to spend his time isolated in his wing of the house away from everyone else. Sometimes he would go days without leaving the safety of his room, settling into the darkness of his bedroom surrounded by books and sometimes just his own thoughts. 

That was where he was now, sprawled out over his mattress, covering his eyes, and listening for a heartbeat that wasn’t there. 

He was mustering up the courage to go out into town. It was fairly early for him, it was eight o’clock and the sun had finally disappeared below the horizon. It was easier for them to go out and grab the things they needed. Despite the convenience of delivery services, for their own livelihood, it was safer to have no one know where they lived. Yoongi just really did not like having to be around humans due to the fact that it reminded him of two things. 

The fact that he was no longer human, and that they were food. 

But what many people don’t realize is that immortality is incredibly boring. Especially if you don’t have a purpose, meaning, or anything to do in that expanse of time. It would be boring if you were Min Yoongi. 

His eyes flickered over the ever-growing stacks of books that littered his bedroom. He went through books quickly, being able to read and retain more information faster than the average human could. And he had already burned through his stockpile. 

He forced himself to stand, shrugging on a jacket that laid at the foot of his bed. He promised himself he would be in and out and keep to himself. It was easier that way. 

He paused for a moment, his dark eyes settling on the piano that was nestled in the corner of his room. A thick layer of dust coated the once black finish and the ivory keys. Even though he no longer played, something was stopping him from getting rid of it. At this point, it served as a reminder that he was miserable. When he sat at the bench there was nothing, no spark, no love, no urge to make it play. He used to love music, he wasn’t so sure he could bear to listen to it or make it anymore. 

All of it was just so meaningless. 

Yoongi was able to make it out of the house without having to interact with any of the other members of the nest, luckily for him. With how big their group had grown it was hard to avoid one another. But, as the outlier, it was rare he saw the others. In fact, it was rare he saw any other creatures of his kind. With their increased numbers, most nomadic vampires tended to avoid where they stayed. There was power in numbers when it came to vampires. 

Despite his distaste for himself, he knew there were many added advantages to the thing that he had become. Among them were strength and speed. It was relatively easy to make it from point A to B when you lived in a heavily wooded area and you could sprint across town to your heart's content without being caught. 

It took only a matter of minutes for him to make it to his destination. He had visited every single book store in the current town they had occupied. All of them except for this one. 

From the outside, the store looked rather small, sandwiched in between two larger stores on either side of it. But through the windows, he could see the store went back deep and even had a lofted space stuffed to the brim with leather-bound books. The storefront was made of faded brick and frosted glass with a bright yellow door. He wrinkled his nose at the sight, he had never been fond of that particular color. 

A small, rickety sign that was just barely holding on by its hinges swung with the wind above him. In gold, cursive font the sign read: “First Love: Novels & Stationery.”

He couldn’t help but quirk up a brow at the title, that was a strange name for a bookstore. 

After standing there for a few moments, mentally preparing himself to enter, he took a deep breath and pushed open the offensively yellow door and made his way into the shop. As the door creaked open a little bell chimed above his head. 

He was met with a variety of scents upon entering. He could smell the familiar scents of crisp, freshly printed pages and leather binding. But there was also a distinctly earthy scent, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what that was. The shop was littered with dozens of plants, some in little pots on the floor or window sills but the majority hung from the ceiling beams in macramé ropes with beads.  

Despite not seeing anyone in front of him, he knew someone else was in the shop with him. He could hear their heart thrumming steadily in their chest, the blood rushing through their veins, and the gentle scuff of their shoes along the aged floorboards. 

His nose wrinkled at their scent. Normally, the scent of human blood was seductive to his kind. In his early years, he had struggled greatly being within feet of humans. Now as he was older, he rarely struggled with temptation and wasn’t hungry often. But still, no vampire would ever say that the call of blood was not tempting. 

But this scent, it was bitter around the edges. In fact, it was not unlike his own scent and the scent of his “brothers.” It was unusual. 

For a moment, he lost himself. He allowed his eyes to flutter shut and to focus only on one thing. Their heartbeat. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend it was his own. He could almost remember the feeling of it in his chest, pumping strongly and surely. For a moment, he felt human again. 

In his daze he had lost focus, not realizing the human had begun to walk into the main room where he stood, the chime of the door’s bell had summoned them. 

“Oh, hello there! How can I help you?” You asked warmly, setting down a box full of books that had just been sliced open on the counter.

Snapping out of his momentary reprieve, Yoongi said nothing. He allowed himself to look at the shop owner for a moment before turning and disappearing into the towering shelves of novels. 

“Okay then.” He heard you whisper to yourself with an amused chuckle. 

He could still hear you moving around as he looked through the shelves filled to the brim with novels, old and new. He almost jumped when the speakers came to life, a familiar song filling the shop. He couldn’t stop himself from naturally tensing up, music had been something he had abandoned a long time ago.

But he could hear you swaying from side to side and the gentle vibrations of your vocal cords as you hummed the melody of the recorded cello that bounced off of the walls. He knew the piece, “The Swan,” by Saint Saens. 

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head before continuing his search. He was quick, the need to get out of the store was like what the crack of a whip was to a horse. He had grabbed a decent pile of books before returning to the counter where you sat behind the register. 

“Did you find everything you were looking for?” You asked with a gentle smile as he placed his stack on the countertop.

He nodded. 

“Ah, so that’s the type you are,” You mused, scanning the first book, “The strong, silent, brooding type.”

That took him off guard, from moments before he had assumed you were the quiet, awkward bookkeeper. He didn’t expect you to say something like that. He could hear the cello getting louder now and that was only agitating him. 

“Why are you listening to that?” He asked, surprising himself and you as the words left his mouth. 

“Well, it’s beautiful. I like it.” You explained, sliding the next novel across the scanner. 

“It’s old.” He scoffed. 

“And? I happen to like old things.”

That one made him choke on whatever words he had planned to fire back at you. 

“Are you having a crisis, handsome?” You smirked, picking up the next book in the stack. From the cover, you could tell it was a collection of existentialist poetry. Your customer service personality had evidently slipped away the longer he stood there. 

He pursed his lips in hesitation. Was he having a crisis? Yes absolutely, that was all his existence had been over the course of the last 300 years or so. 

“You could say that.” He reluctantly admitted with a bitter laugh of disbelief. 

“Well, aren’t we all?” You hummed, swiping another one of the books over the scanner. “What’s got you so caught up in the meaning of life?”

Oh if only you knew, you wouldn’t have asked such a loaded question. 

“Why do you want to know?”

You paused mid-swipe, your eyebrow raising in a questioning gesture. “Let’s just say it’s for research.”

His chest heaved with a deep breath, that bitter scent invading his senses once more. “If you must know, I think it’s rather cruel that we live long miserable lives only to have it all end and be for nothing.”

“Oh, so you’re a pessimist.” You snorted with a shake of your head. 

“I’m a realist.”

“It’s the same thing. You only see the negatives in everything, not the type to stop and smell the roses are you?”

“What point would there be? They’ll just wither and die like everyone else.”

“Pessimist.” You sang, drawing the words out. “I think you’re missing the point. The whole point is to enjoy things while they last. That’s the beauty in it, nothing lasts forever, there is brevity in life and finality and peace in death. Enjoy everything while you still can, that sort of thing.”

“Finality and peace.” He echoed, the words felt like a brand being pressed to his tongue. You couldn’t be more wrong. 

“What? Let me guess, you’re an atheist and a pessimist?” You smirked. 

Hammer, meet nail. 

“There’s nothing outside of this.��� He said, gesturing around him. “All of those things they tell you, they aren’t true.”

“So, you don’t believe in a higher power? A great reason for everything? No afterlife either?” You asked your tone not accusatory but merely inquisitive. 

“No. I don’t.” He agreed. 

“Interesting,” You mused, “Tell me, what proof do you have that it doesn’t exist?”

“What proof do you have that it does?” He shot back. 

You sat there for a moment, your lips pursed together in thought. He could practically see the gears turning in your head. But instead of you getting mad, like he expected, you let out a dumbfounded laugh before shaking your head and packaging his books. 

“You got me there,” You paused, looking at the name on his debit card, “Min Yoongi. I believe we have reached an impasse.” 

“An impasse?” He repeated as you slid the brown paper bag full of his books towards him.

“I’m afraid so, which means you’re going to have to come back and try to prove your point.” You laughed with a smile. 

For a moment, Yoongi was stunned. He couldn’t believe how unfazed you were, how you had taken him, attitude and all, in perfect stride. To say he was confused was an understatement. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had a normal conversation or even interacted with a human when they were not being used in order to ebb his hunger. 

That smile was like a cable jump to his heart, for a moment he even thought he felt it flinch inside the cradle of his ribs. 

He quickly turned on his heel and pulled the bag from the counter in an attempt to hide his bashful expression and retreat into the safety of the outside. 

“Come back soon!” You called as the door slammed shut behind him. 

He had a feeling he would be back far sooner than you anticipated. 

~~~~~~~

He had kept himself holed up in his room for days once more. He was caught in this limbo of reading as slowly as possible to not have to see you again, and also wanting to rip through pages at an ungodly speed to have an excuse to come and see you again. 

He told himself the true reason that he was so eager to return to you, was to prove you wrong. He had found himself meeting his desires in the middle. He read slower than he normally would, but faster than the average person, writing in the margins of pages he knew he would use later to convince you of his point. 

You had issued him a challenge and in a life of dreadful monotony that pressed a crippling emptiness upon his shoulders, you had offered him one small, insignificant purpose and reprieve. 

He would prove to you that he was correct, that life was meaningless. 

“Are you actually leaving the house twice in one week?” He heard Hoseok ask with a laugh as he headed out the front door. 

“Fuck off!” He called back, rushing outside. The sun had just set, so he was safe to leave and make his way back to the bookkeeper that frustrated him to no end. 

He roughly threw the disgustingly yellow door open and marched into the shop. The sudden slam of the front door and the tinkling of the bell startled you. You had been sitting behind the counter, your feet resting on top of it with a thick book in your hands. You flinched harshly, damn near falling off of your chair at his quick approach. 

“Oh, it’s you-”

“Unaccountably we are alone forever alone and it was meant to be that way, it was never mean to be any other way–and when the death struggle begins the last thing I wish to see is a ring of human faces hovering over me–better just my old friends, the walls of myself, let only them be there.”

“Charles Bukowski?” You asked with a slow blink before letting out a deep sigh and snapping your book shut. “I see you conveniently left out a key point of the poem: peace of mind and heart arrives when we accept what is: having been born into this strange life we must accept the wasted gamble of our days and take some satisfaction in the pleasure of leaving it all behind.”

“And you’re still electing to ignore the fact he clearly states that it’s all for nothing? We are alone, we have always been meant to be alone and we die alone?”

“Are you going to stand there and lecture me, or are you going to buy something?” You chuckled.

He grunted in annoyance, scanning the front desk before mindlessly snatching up a stack of blank music sheets and sliding them across the counter to your waiting hands.

“He doesn’t just say life is meaningless, he states that there is a lack of permanence. Our days are numbered and it is up to us to make it the way in which we choose. And, once all is said and done and we are on the cusp of death, there is a satisfaction in leaving those finished things in the physical world and learning to move on from it.”

“Is that not what I just said?”

“There is a difference between meaninglessness and permanence, Min Yoongi.” You smirked. “You seem to be tethered to the concept of the loneliness of humanity, so let me leave you with this thought: We, unaccustomed to courage exiles from delight live coiled in shells of loneliness until love leaves its high holy temple and comes into our sight to liberate us into life.”

“Love? That’s your proof of meaning?” 

“It’s not only about love, but the pleasures of life. If I were you, I would rediscover what makes you happy, the zest and love of life.” You hummed, slipping his sheet music into the store-branded paper bag.

“What? Like ‘First Love’?” He said, gesturing towards the bag. 

“Yep, books were my first love and I'm not good at naming things hence the name of the store.” 

“That’s an oddly specific thing to be bad at.” He remarked. 

“What? Do you think I’m kidding? I adopted a cat a few years ago and for weeks he didn’t have a name until I accidentally dropped icing on his back while baking.”

“So you named him Icing?”

“No, of course not. I named him Strudel.” 

A laugh he couldn’t hold back bubbled up from his chest and filled the room. He was nearly shocked by the sound that left him, he hadn’t laughed in a long time. Not to mention, there was also the smile that was lighting up his face.

You had a gentle smile of your own, mirroring his, as your eyes traced his softened features. Min Yoongi had an infectious smile and a joyful laugh, both were things which you had not anticipated receiving from him. 

“You have a beautiful smile, Yoongi. You should show it more often.”

You had a knack for embarrassing him and making him feel flustered. If it were possible, he was certain his cheeks would have been stained red. 

“So, I believe we are left at another impasse aren’t we? I guess I’ll be seeing you soon won’t I?” You said with a wink. 

Yoongi pursed his lips in embarrassment, his eyes wide as he turned abruptly and went to head out of the shop in a rush. 

“Hey! Aren’t you forgetting something, handsome?” You called, waving the paper bag holding his sheet music.

The amount of times he had embarrassed himself in one meeting with you was astounding. When he was with you he didn’t feel like a creature of the night, a being with immeasurable strength that demanded fear from those beneath him. You made him feel human, you reminded him of what it was like to be alive. You were addictive. And just like a drug, he knew he would come back time and time again never getting enough of you. 

If anyone was dangerous between the two of you, it was most certainly you. 

Yoongi silently retrieved the bag from your hands, his gaze low and refusing to meet yours in a bashful manner and then departed, the door slamming shut loudly with the light jingle of a bell. 

And then there was silence. 

~~~~~~~

At first, the vampire had been rather reluctant to return to your shop. His head was becoming a mess, he was caught in this limbo of wanting to see you and stay as far away from you as possible. He liked feeling human, he liked finding that part of himself that he thought had been gone forever. But he also knew what he was doing was incredibly stupid. Humans live short lives, he would know, 80 years was like hours to him, and his time with you would be limited. And when you most certainly died, those feelings would leave with you. 

So, he took up your advice and rediscovered his first love as well. You had unknowingly sparked the cooled embers of a passion that had long since died out. 

The paper bag containing a brand new package of sheet music waiting to be written upon laid atop a piano concealed by a drop cloth. It had not been touched in almost a century and that thought was enough to make his fingers tremble in anxiety. 

His hand grasped the fabric of the cloth and swiftly snapped it off of the piano, allowing it to flutter to the polished wood floor. Quick and painless, like removing a band-aide. 

He caught the sheet music before it could touch the ground and gently laid it back on the piano. He had no real need for it, his memory being almost impeccable, but he was a nostalgic man and the feeling of it beneath his fingertips felt like home. 

He lowered himself to the bench, back straight as he lightly skimmed his fingers over the ivory keys. The emptiness he had once felt before was filled and without hesitation, he struck the keys with a new melody. To some, it would have sounded sad maybe even mournful, but to him, each note resonated with a sense of melancholic hope. 

You had called him a pessimist, and for once he decided he could agree with you, what he was feeling now was far from optimism, but it was a start. A start to...something. 

From there on out, once he started he couldn’t stop. The contemporary home nestled deep in the woods that was once eerily silent was suddenly filled with the soft notes of music every day. That fire had returned and it was burning with an intensity unlike anything he had experienced before. 

You, the little bookkeeper hidden away behind a garish yellow door and surrounded by greenery had managed to remind him what it was like to be human. 

He used to wait weeks before he would visit you, but the habit had died fast and hard. His breaks away from you melted down by weeks, to one week, to every few nights, to almost every single night. His analogy relating you to a drug had been beyond accurate, he couldn’t get enough of the life you gave him. 

He loved to sit at the counter with you, watching you as you would slowly thumb the pages of your book, pausing every now and then to lean in and smell the freshly printed pages. He wondered if you knew just how much you smelled like them, fresh paper, earthy, and that familiar bitter edge. 

It was in those moments he would close his eyes, pretending to nap (which you now often teased him for, your favorite nickname you bestowed upon him being sleepyhead, you were right when you said you were bad at naming things) and listen to the steady thrum of your heartbeat filling the shop. It was like a steady meter, a soft thump that was barely noticeable beneath the music you played. 

When he entered the shop that night, a strange aura hung in the air. It felt like something wasn’t exactly right. The soft chime of the bell barely registered in his mind, his attention directed towards the endless seas of greenery in the room. The plants appeared wilted, nothing too bad, but they weren’t their normal lively selves. It was strange. 

Upon hearing his arrival you scuttled into the main room, a tired smile pulling at your lips as your fingers fiddled with the bandanna that held your hair back. “Hey there, handsome.”

Your usual energy was absent, your words not holding their normal bright and flirtatious manner he had grown accustomed to. 

You headed to the store counter, popping yourself up to sit cross-legged on top of it. Your posture was sagging forward, your hand lazily holding your chin as you softly smiled at him. 

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked, his tone blunt as he skipped the formalities. The two of you were far past that having had months to build your pseudo-friendship.

“Hm?” You hummed. “Not all of us get to sleep as much as you do, Yoongi. I had a long day, lots of errands, and customers to deal with. I’m just tired.”

If only you knew how little he actually slept you would realize how ridiculous you sounded. He made insomniacs look like coma patients. 

“Yoongi,” You whispered his name as your lashes fluttered, “Do you really think this is all for nothing? And that there is nothing more than this?”

He was stunned, in the months you had spent together, not once had you indicated a single waver in your opposing position. But now, you looked like a sleepy confused child. He pressed his lips together in thought for a moment, craning his head back a degree. 

“I...I don’t know.”

It seems the both of you were second-guessing your beliefs. 

“I see.” You nodded solemnly. 

“But,” He swallowed, “I don’t think it really matters anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter?” You echoed. 

“No. I think I am tired of regretting the past and worrying about the future. I don’t care much for what comes after this. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why I’m here, what purpose there is to living and eventually dying. And the conclusion I have come to is that I don’t care.”

“How can you not care? How do you stop worrying about something so scary?” You asked, fingers anxiously picking at your nails. 

Without thinking his hands covered yours, pulling your fingers away from their nervous picking. Your skin was hot beneath his icy touch causing you to involuntarily flinch. You were surprised by his cool skin but managed to still your hands in his own. 

“You start worrying about the present.”

“Right, the present.” You smiled, running your fingers over the backs of his hands. 

That was another thing you couldn’t help but notice about him, Min Yoongi had beautiful hands. 

Despite your calm exterior, he could hear the rapid thumps of your heart within your ribs, it was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings and all of that blood was rushing up to your face. Mindlessly, his hand raised to gently stroke the skin that was burning even hotter than the rest of you. 

A soft wheeze of shock and embarrassment parted your lips as you slid off of the counter. “You know what, I am feeling super tired, I think I’ll head home.”

Cute, he thought to himself. 

“Let me walk you.” 

“Ah...no, no, I can handle it!” You laughed awkwardly, shrugging your jacket on and slinging a bag over your shoulder. 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t get a certain satisfaction from seeing you just as flustered, if not more than, you had been making him for quite some time now. 

“It’s late.” He tried again. 

“Good job captain obvious, I had no idea.” You chuckled, flicking all of the lights off except for the front desk light. “I don’t live far, I’ve walked home alone countless times before and I don’t need an escort now.”

“I really wish you would just listen to me for once.” He huffed, stepping out onto the sidewalk while holding the door open for you. 

“Ah, but just wishing for things never got anyone anywhere.” You quipped back, locking the door and testing the handle to ensure it was secure. 

“Now then, I bid you goodnight.” You said, nodding your head in his direction before swiftly turning and departing, leaving him alone. 

That familiar feeling had returned, the one that was telling him something was wrong. He had felt it when he entered the shop and now that feeling was even stronger as he watched you melt away into the darkness of the streets. 

Yoongi had always had these feelings, a sixth sense of sorts, since he had become a vampire. They were these warnings that something was going to happen. It could be something small from a change in the weather to something big like an accident. But almost every time he had that feeling, some misfortune befell someone. 

That was why he decided to follow you. 

It was for your own good, he told himself. After tonight he would never do it again. But even he wasn’t so sure about the validity of that statement. You were a drug after all, and promises to change were rarely fulfilled. 

He looked like a predator stalking their prey, blending in perfectly with the night as he watched you walk ahead of him. Anyone looking on from the outside would think he was stalking you, that he had some devious intentions he was waiting to enact on. 

But ironically, the monsters that lurked in the shadows were almost always human. 

A man slunk out of an alleyway, a switchblade glinting in the moonlight as he withdrew it from his hoodie pocket. His other hand quickly wrapped around your bicep and slammed you up against the wall. A sharp cry of fear and pain left you as you realized what was happening. 

“Don’t move, little girl. I’d hate to have to mess up that pretty face of yours.” He huffed out, the tip of the blade digging into your cheekbone and drawing a single bead of blood. 

Yoongi moved before he could think. 

He ripped the man off of you and threw him up against the opposite wall so hard a loud crack and scream echoed into the once silent night air. 

“Y-Yoongi?” You stuttered, still leaning against the wall behind you in shock. Everything had happened so quickly you were incredibly confused. 

“Go home.” He said, his jaw clenched tightly in rage. 

“But, Yoongi-”

“Go. The fuck. Home.” He repeated the words deep in his chest with a snarl around the edges.

That frightened you. You gathered yourself up and began to run far away from your friend and your assailant. You had never seen your mellow companion that enraged before, and something told you that you would be safer the further away you were. It was like there was a deep ingrained instinct telling you to flee. 

The man was laying on the ground of the alley, barely moving but moaning in pain. Yoongi was sure he had broken his ribs and maybe even his back from throwing him like a ragdoll that violently.  

“It’s pigs like you that make me sick.” He said, coming to stand beside the hooded man’s body. “Who do you think you are? How many women have you hurt just because you could? What gives you the right to touch what’s mine?”

“I’m sorry-” He wheezed. 

“I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses. You know, I used to think my kind were the worst monsters there were. But at least for us, it’s our nature. Now you, you spineless fuck,” He said, stomping his boot down onto the man’s broken back drawing a blood-curdling scream from his throat, “You’re just a weak little man who gets off on hurting those that are weaker than you. How does it feel to be the weak one now?”

“Please! Please! Let me go, I swear I’ll never do it again!”

“Oh, I know you won’t,” Yoongi said, the man’s body relaxing in relief. “I won’t give you the chance to.”

His death was not quick and painless, it was long, brutal, bloody, and well deserved. Yoongi took his time with the man, breaking each and every bone in his body with a sense of satisfaction. And when his life was finally snuffed out that too was terribly painful. Yoongi sank his teeth into his throat and ripped out his jugular without an ounce of remorse. It had been a long time since he had fed last, and he took great joy in ripping that man’s life away from him while also filling up a hunger that never fully went away. 

His lips, chin, and fingers were coated in thick layers of dark blood by the time he was finished and his once dark eyes were glowing red in the shadows of the alley from the fresh feeding. His tongue lazily swiped over his lips before licking the remnants of his meal off of his fingers. 

There were two sides to Yoongi, the one with humanity and the one that was the monster. The two of them were two sides of one coin, one not existing without the other over the course of 300 years. 

Yoongi wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot what had happened in that alleyway, the monster usually remembered it all for him and locked it away in the darkest corners of his mind. But he did know there would be one thing he would remember after this, and that was that he was willing to kill for you. It didn’t matter who it was, if they tried to harm you or get in his way he would tear them down without a thought or a shadow of remorse. 

Yoongi left his mangled body in the alleyway alongside the trash, where he belonged. He didn’t bother to dispose of it in any manner, the authorities would simply thing of it as a grizzly murder nothing more and nothing less. He had left behind no hints that the man’s death was caused by supernatural forces.

Yoongi used to worry about his soul, if he had one and just how poisoned it had become. But just as he had told you when it came to those things, he did not care. 

But what he did care about was you. 

After he had finished his meal he set off to follow you. Your scent was easy to pick up in the dead of the night and just as you had told him, your home was not far from your shop. You lived on the third floor of an old apartment building, it was small, quaint, and quiet. 

He could easily pick out which window led to your apartment, the window sill was littered in plants and books with a blanket folded up beside them. A fond smile tugged at his bloodied lips as he thought of you wiggling yourself out onto the fire escape with your blanket and books in hand.

He scaled the fire escape and crouched down in front of your window. The lights were all off except for a string of fairy lights that hung around your bed. You were fast asleep, curled up in a pile of blankets, and more importantly you were safe. His fingers lightly dragged over the paned glass as he watched you, he couldn’t enter even if he wanted to, not without your explicit permission of course. Watching you doze would be enough. 

He stayed for a few moments, watching the blanket rise and fall with your breaths. A dreadful thought crossed his mind, as they usually do, and he thought that if you were to stop breathing in your sleep he would have no way of getting to you. What a strange thought to think. 

He was also starting to realize just how bad this whole scenario looked. What if a neighbor saw him or you woke up to see his shadowy figure crouching by your window stained in blood. That would be bad, and for that reason only he left. 

Trouble seemed to follow Yoongi, that much he realized upon entering his “home.”

He made it a few steps inside before the door closed behind him and he sensed another presence, one of his kind, approaching him. 

A shorter figure came up behind him, a gleeful smile etched into their face as they leaned in and pressed their nose against the fabric of his jacket, inhaling the scents that lingered there. 

“Yoongi-ah,” The voice sang playfully as they recognized the human scent and the coppery odor of blood, “Do you have a little plaything now? Would you care to share?”

“Fuck off, Jimin it’s none of your business.”

“None of my business? We’re brother’s aren’t we? We’re supposed to share with one another every now and then.”

“Just because we’re in the same nest doesn’t mean I won’t kill you, don’t forget that. Stay away from what’s mine.”

Jimin pouted, turning his head to the side in annoyance with a sigh before a mischievous grin took over his features. “You know, it isn’t me you should be worried about. Namjoon has taken note of your absence, brother.” 

Yoongi froze, his body going completely still in an unnatural way. He hadn’t thought of his creator and just how much attention he had paid to him. In all honesty though, Yoongi knew his behaviors were out of character to the man he had traveled with for 300 years. Namjoon was bound to catch on to his abnormal change in character. The last thing Yoongi wanted was for Namjoon to get involved and make a decision that could not be undone. 

“Like I said, Jimin. Mind your own fucking business.”

~~~~~~~

After that incident, Yoongi walked you home every night and you didn’t offer up any complaints. Not after what had happened. You didn’t bother to ask him what had happened to the man either, something told you you were better off not knowing. 

You liked spending more time with him anyways, he seemed comfortable in the dark, your polar opposite. You had always had a sense of paranoia when it came to the night. To this day you were still frightened by the black void that you could not fully see into. You honestly hated the night. As a full grown adult you still slept with those fairy lights above your bed, they gave you just enough light to see but kept the room dim enough to sleep. You much preferred the warm sun on your skin than the ominous dark veil of the night. 

“I think I’ve decided that I can’t not care.” You told him during your short walk.

“What do you mean?” He asked. 

“You said you don’t really care about the past, or the future, or what comes next. I don’t think I can do that. To be fully honest with you, I care too much about what happens next.”

“And why is that?”

“Well, everyone thinks about it eventually. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately and in part that’s because of you.” You said, your pensive look breaking as you stuck your tongue out at him defiantly. 

“Oh so it’s all my fault.” He said dryly while shaking his head.

“Of course, everything is your fault. It rained today? That’s because of Yoongi. I tripped over my shoelaces? Yoongi. I woke up late? Definitely Min Fucking Yoongi.” 

“Ha, ha, ha.” He fake laughed with a blank face. 

“Seriously though, I can’t stop caring about it. It’s this frightening void that I can’t comprehend. It’s so different from being alive that my brain can’t handle the thought of it. Life definitely has meaning and I’m certain death does too, but what comes next? That’s something I can’t fully wrap my brain around.” 

“Are you having a crisis?” He asked with a wisp of a smile, spitting back your very own words as yourself. 

“You could say that.” You echoed with a weak grin of your own. 

“You don’t have to stop caring about it,” He said, bridging the distance between you by reaching out to hold your hand, “But you can still think about the present.”

A calm silence fell between the two of you, your face heating up in embarrassment at the feeling of his cool fingers wrapped around your own. It was hard to think about anything but the present when he was touching you. You couldn’t stand how loud your thoughts were in the silence that surrounded you, so you broke it as you normally did. 

“Jesus, your hands are freezing, are you anemic or something?” You joked, cupping his hand in your own and proceeding to blow on them in an attempt to warm them. 

You were adorable, but he still couldn’t help but laugh at the action considering he really did not need it. His skin wouldn’t warm and he couldn’t feel intense heat or cold anymore. Your actions really were pointless but he couldn’t tell you, and even if he could he didn’t know if he had the heart to tell you. 

“I am, and it’s really hard for me so thanks for that.” He said watching your eyes grow comically wide and overrun with guilt. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t...are you laughing? Hey! You scared the shit out of me, Min Yoongi!” You hissed, slapping his shoulder and dropping his hands in annoyance before walking faster ahead of him. 

It was worth it. And it also wasn’t a complete lie if you really thought about it. 

He easily caught up with you, matching your pace as the two of you neared your apartment complex. He knew you weren’t really mad at him, in fact you were trying to suppress a smile the entire time you met him with silence. You were happy he could joke around with you, he had done somewhat of a 180 compared to your first encounter. There were still traces of the original Yoongi you had met, but this one was...happier. 

“You’re going to be the death of me, Yoongi.” You sighed with a fond expression. 

He tensed up despite knowing you truly didn’t mean it, sometimes he thought about hurting you, not purposefully of course, he had a lingering fear that he could hurt you beyond repair. He had years of experience to restrain himself but when he experienced intense emotions, it wasn’t always easy to hold himself back. You had been a witness to that a few nights ago. 

He knew you had seen his impressive display of strength and you were incredibly smart, but for some reason you had not asked him about it. You had kept your theories and your thoughts entirely to yourself. 

“Hey, you can come in if you want.” You said, jerking your head in the direction of the door. The two of you had been standing outside for quite some time now. 

The moment those words left your lips it felt like a strong force entirely dispersed from his body. The phantom barrier that had once sealed the entrance from him had dissolved. You had no idea just how much power you had given him. 

His brain, still muddled with those intrusive thoughts about you, elected to decline your offer. “Maybe some other time, I have to head home.”

“Oh, alright.” You nodded, pivoting on your heel and heading towards the door. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight.” He hummed, waiting for you to get in safely. 

You paused for a moment, the tips of your fingers brushing the door handle. You pursed your lips together in thought before quickly turning around and running up to him, planting a quick kiss to his cheek. 

“Thanks for walking me home.” You smiled before pulling away and disappearing inside to hide your bashful appearance. 

Yoongi stood there for a long moment, frozen in surprise by what you had just done, his fingers brushing over the stretch of skin that had burned from your warmth. And, despite his attempts, he couldn’t stop a gummy smile from taking over his face. 

You made him feel human and you made him happy. 

If only he had known that would be your last moment of happiness together. 

 ~~~~~~~

He returned to your shop the next night, and to his surprise it was closed. The desk light remained on but nothing had changed from the previous night. The new supply of books that had come in still remained in their box, the box cutter laying on top of the package. The plants that you had tended to so carefully looked even worse that night, the edges of their leaves tinged in brown. 

And then there was that feeling, that pull in the back of his mind, that dark sense lingering in the air. Something was wrong or something was about to happen.

In a rush and a bit of a panic, he found himself heading to your apartment complex. He entered the lobby without an issue and scanned the list of apartment numbers until he found your name. He chose to take the stairs instead of the elevator, he could move more quickly that way. But when he finally found your apartment, things didn’t get any better. 

He knocked twice before he realized he couldn’t hear you on the other side of the door, your heartbeat and your breaths were absent. 

His brows pinched together in confusion, he would have liked to think if you were going somewhere you would have told him. He had become a big part of your nightly routine now anyways. 

The neighboring apartment door squeaked open causing his attention to snap to the form that stepped out of it. Your neighbor stopped for a moment in surprise, in all the time they lived there you had barely ever received visitors. 

“Hey there,” They said awkwardly, “Looking for her?”

“Do you know where she is?” Yoongi asked quickly, not having the patience for formalities. 

“Yeah, she collapsed last night, paramedics picked her up pretty quickly. I think she’s at Briar Hills Memorial?”

And with that he was gone. That feeling was becoming stronger, the pressure descending upon him was making his chest tighten and his throat close up. It felt like he was drowning all over again. Whatever was going on, it was far from good. 

He made it to the hospital in record time, never having moved so fast before. It wasn’t a big hospital by any means, it was just as small as a small town needed. It wasn’t crowded on this particular night and for once the nurses station wasn’t overwhelmed. But that feeling was even worse here than it had been before. The entire hospital was doused in it and overflowing. 

He approached the nurses station in a rush, hands gripping the desk tightly as he asked after you. 

“Room seven, dear.” The older nurse responded, tucking a grey streak of hair behind her ear. “Visiting hours are ending soon though.”

He didn’t care, he would sneak back in if he needed to. 

He left the nurses station immediately, heading in the direction she had gestured to. His mind was swamped with cacophonous thoughts all bombarding one another. He was hoping it was something minor, maybe you hadn’t eaten enough and it made you dizzy, maybe you had tripped and hit your head, maybe it was nothing. 

He opened your door in a panicked rush so quickly it almost slammed into the wall. You jolted in surprise before settling down onto the gurney. You were hooked up to many machines. He wasn't sure you would be able to get up on your own. He could hear your heart thumping in your chest in time with the automated beeps of the monitor you were attached to. You were awake, you were breathing, but you were far from fine. 

He finally understood one thing about you, now that he was in a hospital that bitter scent that followed you was everywhere. The reason he thought you smelled like his kind was for a prominent reason. 

The scent of death hung heavy on you. 

“When,” He breathed, “When were you going to tell me?”

You bit your lip nervously, tilting your head back against the pillows behind you. “Would you be upset if I said I never planned to?” 

He crossed the room before stopping at your bedside, a look of disbelief plastered to his features. “How long have you known?” 

“About a year now. I started feeling sick and in a lot of pain, we caught it way too late. It’s terminal, there’s nothing they can do.” You answered, your words sounded practiced like you had thought of them often. 

How had he not noticed? This entire time you had never once shown him you were in a single bit of pain. His body felt heavy with despair, he had not been exactly helpful. The two of you had many talks about life and death and the meaning of it all, he had told you numerous times about how meaningless this all was and how there was nothing to even look forward to and the entire time you knew that you were dying.

It now made sense why you were the way you were. You were outgoing, loud, teasing, and flirtatious all the while being bashful and awkward at the same time because you were doing things you normally wouldn’t do. You were taking chances because you knew that you only had so much time left. 

“Don’t, don’t give me that look. I don’t want your pity, I have enough of it all on my own. You did nothing wrong, Yoongi. I didn’t want to be treated any differently. You have no idea just how happy you made me throughout all of this.” You said, grasping his hand in your own warm one. His eyes fell on the needle of the IV that pierced your hand. 

“How much time do you have left?” He asked, his throat tightening up and his eyes burning with tears that refused to shed. 

You remained quiet for a moment, a soft look on your face as you stroked his hands. “Not much I’m afraid.”

“Okay,” He whispered. Time worked differently for his kind, years felt like hours, months would feel like seconds. He didn’t know what else to say to you but he knew this was far from okay. 

And so he stayed with you. That night he walked you home was the last night you stepped outside that wasn’t on hospital grounds. Your condition was getting worse each day and was deteriorating rapidly. 

He had no idea losing you would hurt this fucking badly, especially when he thought there would be more time for the two of you. In a short amount of time you had reminded him of what it was like to feel human, what it was like to feel loss, and what it was like to fall in love. And just as quickly you were being pulled away from him. 

You slept a lot most days and that left him alone with his thoughts often. His head was a mess and on multiple occasions he fantasized about ripping his wrist open and pouring his pitch black blood down your throat so that when you died you would come back to him. 

That was what one side of his mind was telling him, the other was reminding him he couldn’t do that to you. He couldn’t take your humanity away from you like it had been done to him. 

He had the proverbial angel and devil on his shoulders fighting over what he should do. He liked it better when you were awake for those few short hours of the day, he didn’t have to think as much then. 

“I think...I’m like a butterfly.” You had told him on one of your better days, a jade green book in your hands. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, sitting on the edge of your hospital bed. 

“I think that’s what life is about. Living is like a cocoon, it’s just the first half you know? And when I finally begin metamorphosing, I move on to the next part. That sounds nice, I really like it actually, it’s not as scary that way. Besides, the second part is the most beautiful.” You explained, fingers reaching out for his own. 

His still heart was aching. He could understand what you meant, his life as well had come in two phases. He had lived a regular life like anyone else and he too underwent a metamorphosis. But, unlike your analogy, it was not beautiful. He wanted it to be beautiful for you.

So, he decided, he could let you go. 

It was going to hurt worse than anything he had ever experienced. He had told himself he would kill anyone that tried to hurt you and nothing would get in between the two of you. But he had not factored in your free will. And you had become content with death, he would not take your humanity away from you. 

But that didn’t mean he didn’t plan on joining you. 

“When I’m gone, take care of Strudel for me? He’s a little grumpy but he’s a sweetheart on the inside. You can give away my plants, just don’t throw them out, they deserve more than that. You can have anything you want too, I wouldn’t want anyone else to have my things.” 

He remained silent for a moment before deciding to say what he had been wanting to. “And what if I want you?”

You smiled gently, holding his hand tighter. “Then you can have that too.” 

That was the first and last time he kissed you. It was gentle and calm surrounded by the sound of the soft taps of rain against the windows.

After that, you fell asleep and you didn’t wake up again and the rain refused to stop. You had slipped into a coma and were not coming out of it. It was just him, alone, in your room. You had no family, no friends, only him at your side. 

Waiting for you to die was torture. 

He could do nothing but sit by your side and watch your illness ravage your body day by day. He still continued to fight with himself despite knowing very well that he was not going to turn you. There was nothing worse than sitting as a bystander unable to do a single thing. 

Yoongi had no idea just how true that statement would come to be. 

He left to shower and change and occasionally feed, and the few times he did he refused to leave you alone for too long. But this time, things were different. 

When he entered your room his body was paralyzed in fear and anger. 

Jin was sitting in the chair at your bedside watching the weak lines of your heart rate while Namjoon stood at your bedside donning a doctor's coat. 

Namjoon worked at Briar Hills. 

“So, this is where you’ve been sneaking off to?” Jin asked, his one leg crossing over the other as he looked at you. “Is she really that special?”

“Move.” He simply said, his voice low and full of warning. 

“Relax, Yoongi. We’re only here to help.” Namjoon said, flipping through your chart. “Hm, that’s a nasty illness she has there.” 

“I don’t want your help, I want you to leave.” Yoongi growled out, stepping in front of his maker. 

“I just don’t understand you,” Jin said with a roll of his eyes before rising to stand, “Why let her suffer for so long when you could have ended it a long time ago?”

“I would never do to her what he did to me.” Yoongi snapped, fixing Namjoon with a hard glare. 

“And why not? You obviously feel something for her or else you wouldn’t have wasted your time with a pathetic little human would you? You didn’t feed from her, didn’t fuck her, what use did you have for her.” Jin countered, stepping closer to your still form. 

“Enough, Jin.” Namjoon finally said, setting your chart aside. “It doesn’t matter.”

Yoongi was on edge, that bad feeling was seeping into his bones again, it was strongest now. Something was going to happen. 

With practiced precision, Namjoon dug his teeth into his own wrist and ripped it open, black blood running down his forearm and staining his mouth. 

“No!” Yoongi yelled, stepping forward to intercept him only to have Jin grab him and toss him aside. He was outnumbered. 

“Relax, Yoongi. I’m doing this for you. Think of it as my atoning for what I did to you, I made you miserable, an empty shell of a man. This will keep you happy, she changed something in you. I wonder what she’ll be like when she’s one of us.” The eldest vampire mused, pressing his wrist to your lips and coaxing his blood down your throat. 

“Stop, please! I don’t want this, Namjoon!” He cried, reverting to begging as his other brother held him off. It didn’t matter anymore, his blood was already coursing through you. No matter how you died, you would come back as one of them. 

“It’s alright. You’ll thank me for this.” He replied before grasping your head and your neck and sharply twisted it to the side. A loud, wet snap echoed throughout the room as the heart monitor flat lined. 

He had snapped your neck. 

“It shouldn’t be too long now. She’s a strong one.” Namjoon hummed, carefully setting your neck back in place. 

“How could you do this to me again?” Yoongi whispered weakly, his face riddled with despair. 

“Yoongi, I did what was best for you.” Namjoon smiled, clasping his shoulder. “You’ll see it my way, eventually.”

“Time of death, 11:06 PM.” Namjoon noted to himself. “Don’t worry I’ll take care of everything else. You should take her home, she’s going to wake up soon and she’s going to be hungry. Let’s not have three massacres in the family.” 

There was nothing else he could do, it was already far too late. So, he did what his maker instructed, and he brought you home. It was a strange feeling he had in his chest. It was of pain and muted happiness. He could keep you now, but at what cost? How much would you hate him for this? 

No one else was home and Yoongi had a feeling that that was Namjoon’s doing. He had been the last to know of his plan. 

All he could do now was wait for you. He set you down onto his bed, flicking on one light for you when you woke up. He supposed you hadn’t been wrong about your death, you would experience a metamorphosis just as you had predicted. 

The room was painfully quiet without the familiar beat of your heart or your soft exhales of breath. He had no way of telling when you would finally wake up.

He had watched five people turn before, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. You would make six. 

He watched as your body cooled and your neck sewed itself back together. He watched as your fingers and toes twitched and your central nervous system came back to life. He watched as your chest finally rose and fell as your lungs began to work, and he waited in anxiety until your eyes fluttered open and he was met with crimson red irises. 

You panicked immediately. Everything was too bright and loud and the pain in your throat that you were feeling was like none you had ever experienced before. 

It was like looking at the spitting image of himself all of those years ago. You scuttled backwards in fear the moment you saw him, your hands gripping the sheets so tightly you ripped them on accident with a newfound strength. You looked absolutely terrified and it was breaking him. 

Your hand shakily rose to cup the column of your neck as your swallowed harshly, those familiar red eyes of yours bore into his own in fright. 

He never should have entered that shop, he never should have talked to you, he never should have come back. He shouldn’t have followed you home or walked you home every night. He should have stayed away. But he didn’t. 

“What did you do to me?!” 

[horizonandstar]

HEY. I read your fic and I wanted to ramble about how much I enjoyed it if that's alright. Normally I'd do it in a reblog, but I couldn't find a suitable post to do it on, so inbox it is then

I just read your fic The Horizon and the Little Star all in one go and had an absolute BLAST. I adored it so much, it was an INCREDIBLE read 💓💕💖💗💝💞💟 you have no idea how obsessed I am with fics containing foreign planet worldbuilding or anything like that, just. Facts about different planets, you know? So it was in the middle of one chapter that I just grinned and kicked my legs in the utter delight of "yes!! This is a good fic, I am reading a good fic right now!" ALSO CRASH-LAND PLANET SURVIVAL. YES!!!

AND SUN AND MOON'S WHISTLING AND CHIRPING, I LOVE THAT. I adored the detail of you explaining the pitch of the whistles, I like that a lot. It's great knowing exactly what sounds I'm meant to imagine, very engaging. Also I'm a huge language nerd and me getting to learn words from a made-up language in the middle of a fic gets me so excited

Also it's so funny hearing the reader say a word Moon would absolutely say and going, "oh Moon is SO mimicking that later."

Your writing is so good, I had such an amazing time reading. You've done an incredible job and made a highly enjoyable fic, I see why I've been directly recommended it twice (but seen three recommendations total). BRAVO, CLAPCLAPCLAP. Take care of yourself, you have a wonderful fic. Have a great day

i was in the middle of eating when i saw this and then i reread it multiple times and had no idea what to say. and then i took a nap and i just woke up so hello! hi! im here now

thanks for reading and enjoying!!!! i will not lie i did not actually expect to see you here so this was a really pleasant surprise

BUT YEAH!!!!! i love worldbuilding. love making my own and love looking at what other people made like give me that ill eat the words. i think the people who go really indepth with their worldbuilding is really really cool even if that level of indepth would personally tire me out if i tried. like i am.LOOKING and its cool

yeaj!!!!!! glad you liked the detail where its a specific sort of whistle that carries a specific meaning. so far every word that the reader has learned has all been in whistles because those are the noises that i can easily recreate. so what i do is that i actually whistle out what it sounds like and then try my best to describe the sound i just made. AND GLAD u like learning the silly lil made up words and sounds because theres going to be more. this language learning is going BOTH WAYS

YEAH moon is like "hehe words :] gonna use them" and through the power of y/n's current word choices he has not said something absolutely stupid yet. if y/n stopped to think about it a little they couldve had him yelling toothpaste ads or smth and he would be none the wiser

THANK u thank u i am bowing and taking my leave. gonna go back to sleep now. taking this gold star and putting it on my head like fruit sticker

[starglitterz]

happy new year !

( this post is a little late, but it doesn't change the fact that i mean everything here HAHA <3 )

HI EVERYONE !! so, 2022 has just started, and i wanted to start off my year by thanking everyone on this account who made my 2021 amazing, and how i hope you will all stay with me throughout this year as well :>

so, 2021 was wild, to say the least. it's kinda surreal that i started this blog way back in april, and i never expected it to ever get this much attention. i'm so glad that my works make you guys happy, or that you enjoy them, or that you even feel the tiniest bit better after reading them. back when i first started, i never even dreamed that people would like my writing this much, to the point where i have over two thousand followers. i'm lucky to have so much support from all of you, and i want to say thank you for making my 2021 better :)

—

( individual letters will be on @quillwithlove ! )

to my mutuals ; i may not interact w all of you as much as i'd like to, but rest assured that i'll do my best to remedy that in 2022! all our conversations leave me smiling, and i swear all of you are so talented it's almost magic ?! i love talking to you all, you never fail to cheer me up :D let's talk more this year !

to my anons ; thank u all so much for having so much patience with me LOL! i love u guys, it makes me so !(&%(×*% /pos to think that you actually like talking to me enough to write such fun and cute asks in my inbox frequently even though i take like a million years to reply 😭 (looking at u especially 🌊 / 🍁 / meteor nonnies, ily guys MWAH) ill try to reply quicker this year too !!

to my followers ; i've said this before but i'll say it again! i am so endlessly grateful for all of you :] from when i wake up to see someone's left a message in my askbox, or spam-liked my fics, or reblogged with their thoughts on it – it makes me so, so happy. i'm so glad you guys enjoy my silly little writings that i post on the internet, and i hope you will continue to enjoy my work in 2022 :]

to everyone who read/reads cynosure ; i love this series w my whole heart, and the positive reception it receives literally makes me so glad i was brave enough to post it. thank you so much for all your adorable and hilarious comments/reblogs, they always make my day. i really hope you all continue reading it until i post the finale this year! :D

—

as for where this blog will be going in 2022, i plan to make it a lot more self-indulgent. recently i've been feeling quite pressured to post fics, and i feel quite guilty when i don't manage to write as often as other writing blogs i follow (no hate at all!! i think u guys are super cool hehe). i don't want to start associating this negative feeling w writing, especially since it's supposed to be something that i enjoy doing, and hence this year i'll be writing more of what i want, rather than what i think everyone will enjoy :) /nm

also, 2022 is going to be a big year for me; i've got my finals throughout may & june, then graduation, and another big event related to a traditional dance style i do towards the end of the year. i might not be able to post fics as often, so i'll try to focus a lot more on my series this year! i might also be publishing sugar baby a lot earlier than expected bc i have a lot of inspo for it LOL. as well as that, i'm going to try and be more active on my multifandom blog @icystqr as well :) so yeah, lots of plans for 2022 hehe >:D

it's going to be an exciting year for sure, so let's all take care and have an awesome time! ily guys so much, thank you for everything, and i hope you have a wonderful year ahead :) <3

♡, quill !

[junicai]

Surprise LIVE!

NCT : 안녕 여러본~~ [180316]

| warnings | none

-> aria spends some time in the practice room, with an unexpected guest.

A: hi hi everyone! how are you? 

aria is sitting with her back against a white wall, her legs out in front of her as she rests the camera against the mirrors. it looks like she is in a practice room, given the oversized hoodie she is wearing, along with the lack of makeup.

A: it’s not too late for anyone, right? i don’t want to keep anyone awake 😡 if it’s late for you go to bed! you can watch again in the morning

@/lenjoo10: unnie, did you sleep well? have you eaten? 

A: yes! i’m waiting for yuta to finish in the other room, because apparently i’m not allowed walk home after it gets dark

she gestures with her arm towards the door, making a playfully scowling face.

A: he’s taking forever, so i decided i’d come talk to you guys! you’ll keep me company while i wait, right? 

@/luylhaech: of course! make sure you eat when you get home 🤬

A: 😅 yes yes i will, geez. sometimes i think you all are worse than the boys 

the comments flood with objections, saying that they just want her to stay healthy and safe. 

A: oh god ok i’m sorry! i’m sorry i’m sorry, thank you for taking care of me everyone 🥰

she bowed her head slightly to the camera, holding up her hands in an attempt to stop the onslaught of comments.

A: aah ah no you’re all typing too fast! i can’t read them all, hold on a moment. 

@/jaemia183: riri do you have any movie recommendations?

A: for movies? i'm not sure. yesterday i made mark watch howl's moving castle with me again, if that's something.

A: he acted annoyed but i know he loves that movie as much as i do

A: that movie is one of those movies i watched when i was a kid ~ i remember downloading it onto my mother's laptop so i could watch it on planes and long trips

A: 😅 i'm pretty sure i wasn't meant to do that, but i've seen it so often i can probably quote it now

aria ran a hand through her hair, fiddling with the strands that fell over her shoulders

@/thetenthwish: where are the others? 

A: hm, the others? well i know yuta is in the opposite room right now, but he’s working so i can’t get him for you... and a lot of the other boys have already gone home because they have a- thing tomorrow.

aria’s eyes opened wide at her slip of the tongue before she frantically tried to cover it up. her arms waved about and the mic on the phone picked up her legs kicking slightly on the hardwood floor.

@/jaehuina: ARIAA WHAT DID YOU SPOIL WHATS HAPPENING TOMORROW 

@/peachbliss: everyone say goodbye to aria its been nice knowing u

@/doiejei: is that the sound of the sm dungeon door clanging shut?

A: shushhh you’re all going to get me in trouble 😳 can we keep this a secret? for me? 

the comments rush past with affirmatives, and aria relaxed slightly back against the wall.  

A: ah i might owe you my life. taeyongie oppa would kill me - if you're watching this, oppa! nczennie will keep my secret for me, they promised 🥺

aria’s phone buzzes against the wall where she had put it down after reading through some comments. a small ping sounded, indicating a message had been sent to her inbox

A: oh? that might be yuta, i should check that ~

aria leant down to pick up her phone, clicking into the home screen and swiping up the messaging app. her face morphed into surprise before she quickly schooled her expression into something less alarming.

A: ah, i’m sorry everyone, i think yuta is going to be later than he expected and he told me to apologize to you all 😕

@/yukki24: has left the livestream

@/nczeci: has left the livestream

A: but! someone new is going to come pick me up, so i can stay and chat for a bit longer hehe

@/buiconasi: WHO OMG HAVE WE MET THEM BEFORE

A: have you met him before? no i don’t think so, not on a vlive yet... only once or twice i’d say. are you excited? 

A: hm, shall we play a guessing game to figure out who it is?

@/junno2567: nooo just tell us :(

A: ahh but where’s the fun in that! ok ok, ill give you all a hint and see if that helps ~ he’s very tall 🥰

@/titibunsa: ARIA EVERYONE IS TALL TO U THAT DOESNT HELP

@/gothavan: johnny?? 

@/jaemintea2: is it winwin?

A: no, its not an 127 oppa... 

@/jeangimia: is it a new manager or someone? 

@/guraheza: omg please just tell usssss

aria opened her mouth as if to speak, but was silenced by a short knock on the door of the practice room. her head turned to the door off-screen, and she smiled at the person as they entered. 

A: here he is everyone!

lucas popped his head into the frame.

L: heyo~ 

@/haneimi: OMG HI

@/aquarisuh: LUCASSSS 

aria watched the messages on vlive fill up with greetings for lucas, smiling as she turned slightly to watch lucas’ eyes dart quickly over them all, as if he was trying to read each individual message before it got pushed up by more incoming.

A: ta-da ~ lucas was the one coming to get me! i don’t think anyone guessed him, so its still a surprise

L: no one guessed me? 😖

@/taeminniee: NO WE’RE SORRY 

@/realmch1: ARIA THOSE WERE TERRIBLE HINTS 

A: are you slandering my hint-giving skills 

L: i don’t think you’re very good at giving hints riri, if they couldn’t guess who i was at all 

@/onet2ne1: RIRI THATS SO CUTE IM CRYING 

L: is riri cute? ive always called you riri... is that cute? 

@/enthusnctisct: YES THATS ADORABLE HOW LONG HAVE U TWO KNOWN EACH OTHER 

A: hm,,, maybe. two years? 

L: yeah about that

A: i met him during training - he was sitting outside my practice room and not his own

L: no no i don’t think they need to hear this story, actually i think we need to go now the others are waiting

aria was laughing now, hands pushing away lucas’s arms that had come to wrap around her in an attempt to pull her off screen

A: and and he was waiting for a good, half hour before i arrived and told him that his practice was happening down the hall in the next room 

lucas groaned and put his head in his hands 

A: I could hear him getting scolded through the walls over my music 😂

L: stop it stop it that’s enoughhhhh 

aria poked playfully at lucas’ side, who curls up to protect himself. 

@/honijoo: aria stop being mean to him :( he looks upset

A: its okay nczennie, im not being mean ! he has so many stories to tell about me that i know he will 😡 so im trying to even the playing field before he embarrasses me enough that i cant show my face 😔

this time, lucas’ phone buzzed from his pocket. he pulled it out to check the new notification, before nodding slightly. 

L: riri, i think we have to go now 

A: already? how long has it been- oh GOD its been nearly an hour ok bye czennie! hopefully we don’t get in too much trouble byee byee!

[vlive ended]

[yanbub]

multiple announcements coming through !

okok first of all, im back 😋. as in ill be fully active again like usual xdxd.

i know i didn't seem like i was on a semi-hiatus but shhh i had to take care of things and i had to fix my mental stability too.

i'm really sorry that i didn't reply to my inbox while i was gone !! i was very unmotivated to reply during the whole break even tho i rbed some ask games LOL. ill reply to them later so your wait won't be that long anymore !

thank you all 4 ur patience and efforts 💞

pls read the other announcements utc! its all important and i just cut it so that it wont clog up other's dashboards.

second of all, the blog will go a heavy revamp session! please don't mind the spam posting, it'll just be me organizing my blog all over again.

the revamp will include the following:

a new tagging system

(finally) an official post for my blog rules, writing rules, etc. i know i have a carrd for that but im tired of editing it every now and then

a clean up! ill be deleting some old posts such as my shitposts and some other miscellaneous things i want out of this blog. and sadly, this includes the requests that was left in my inbox. sorry that you didn't get your request done ^^'

i think thats p much it? again dont mind the spam posting you'll see when this is in progress!

asks will be answered AFTER this revamp session is done.

third, a new character for the character list! thoma is added now. as for gorou, well, that's still dependable since i haven't grasped his personality yet with the little interaction we got from the archon quests. ill try writing for him but only on specific and self indulgent ideas.

not that important but new theme hehe. ive had this theme on pc for a while now but i wanted to change it on mobile once im back from the break. anyways stan remi ayasaki for clear skin yalls

to explain further about me deleting requests in my inbox, as you saw during my break i only posted self indulgent content.

i don't really wanna open requests for a while since i have so many self indulgent ideas that i wanna focus on. the ideas that you sent in were honestly great but im sorry that i won't be able to write it :((

though there might be times that i won't be writing because deadass i post content almost everyday, i need a break too 🧍‍♀️.

HOWEVER! if you're willing to send in some brainrot at my inbox, ill be more than glad to whip up a small blurb/ficlet for you! or maybe ill add more onto that brainrot, who knows really.

YEAH THAT'S ALL IT FEELS GREAT TO BE BACK HOLY SHIT HWK2HKDHDJDJDJCJC

anyways if you reached this part of the post, congrats! you're probs the only one who bothered to read all the important announcements.

ill be off to revamp the blog now and istg ill finally answer asks after that 😭 i missed interacting w yall but i swear my motivation said no <//3

bye bye now, ty for reading <33