#ill quit shipping them when they quit fucking

[showaboutdeath]

maybe i shouldnt ship dad x kid... nvm that doesnt even sound right..

[cyranonic]

I feel like one of the exchanges in S2 that fucks me up the most is this one between Louis and Madeleine that is so pivotal and yet happens basically in the background. It just says so much about who Louis is at this point in his life and why his relationship with Armand is so essentially tragic for them both.

For Armand, the ship has already sailed on betraying Louis and Claudia. He is seconds away from letting the coven ritually murder them and so NATURALLY that is the moment when Madeleine finally confirms the thing that he could never be certain of, the love that he wanted and yet could not quite trust was real. We see that in his face; the misery of that realization.

For Louis, it just devastates me to think about how much of his life has been about hiding his true self, afraid to reveal his softer feelings. In the first episode of the show, he tells Daniel that before Lestat he had never allowed himself to emotionally connect to another man. A big part of this is probably the homophobia of the time period when he was raised. Lestat seems to recognize this when he turns Louis, offering him the chance to be true to himself.

But even after Lestat, we see that Louis still struggles with this. He can allow himself to feel connected to Claudia because she is his child and then his sister. In his mortal life, Louis took on the role of provider for his family, allowing himself to show affection to his mother and sister through his role as a caretaker. Even with Paul, he is both brother and father, caring for him due to his mental illness. Becoming a vampire separated him from familial love, leading him to beg Lestat to turn Claudia so that he can yet again have that love that he connects to being a caretaker.

With Armand, Louis expresses sexual interest, but never emotional closeness. Their dynamic falls into the pattern of dominant and submissive, but without the openly expressed care and security needed to make that relationship work. Just as with Lestat, Louis has a pattern of withholding affection as a form of self-protection. He doesn't want to be vulnerable. He can laugh and joke about the sexual appeal of his partner, but is immediately uncomfortable when Madeleine brings up his deeper feelings.

I think a part of this is derived not just from Louis' queerness and his response to a homophobic society, but also his blackness. In New Orleans, he is constantly emasculated and infantilized by white men. Being called "boy" or being praised for "doing a good job" is a tactic that white supremacists use to remind Louis that he is vulnerable. And after that, combined with the trauma he experienced during his relationship with Lestat, Louis is sick of being vulnerable. So even when he is falling in love, even when his partner is a POC, Louis can't share those feelings. Louis' final words, "he knows," indicate that his withholding isn't malicious or manipulative. It's a hopeful rather than true statement. Louis wants Armand to know, but he shies away from actually having the conversation.

Anyways it's such a gut-punch moment to me that foreshadows how Louis and Armand's relationship had some potential for genuine love within it, but it was also pretty doomed from the start.

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

humans are space orcs

imagine someone with chronic joint pain, whose dream their whole lives has been to go to space and meet the aliens and be a scientist and learn

so they look up the requirements as a kid and go "fuck."

they wouldn't make the cut.

their dreams are dashed. hopes ruined. lifelong dre destroyed.

except....

they've never really said a whole lot about their pain. they don't particularly like doctors, and they think that they've been managing just fine, so they never saw the point.

so maybe... maybe if they just don't say anything, they can make it to space.

they spend all of their time training. doing physical therapy exercises so that their joints aren't so loose, soaking up as much scientific and mathematical knowledge as they can, teaching themselves to push through the worst of it in pursuit of their dream.

and they make it.

they make it to space! it was gruelling, tortuous work, but they made it!

their first mission is an exploratory one, with a diverse crew which only has one other human.

they're thrilled.

they have dozens of alien friends and acquaintances. they spend hours learning and researching alien planets and cultures. it's everything they've ever wanted!

but

it's exhausting.

they're in more pain than they've ever been, more frequently than they ever have.

they keep up their exercises as best they can, but even those are often too much.

they smile when asked if they're alright, tell everyone that "i'm fine! just tired."

but they need a break. they can't imagine going or being sent back to earth, this is their home now, with these people, on this ship. but they don't know how much longer they can take this.

one day, on their day off, a fellow researcher comes and knocks on their door.

"are you here?"

"not today islith."

"but we've been called! there are some exciting new discoveries that need further cataloging and investigation, and carlmoth thought you would enjoy the task!"

"i can't today, islith."

"are you ill?"

"...kind of? but i'll be right as rain tomorrow. it's my day off anyhow."

"nonsense! you should go down to medbay!"

"i'm alright, i promise."

"you get out here right this minute or i'll report you to medbay myself!"

"no!" there's a series of crashes and thumps, and then they open the door.

"oh, you look awful. come on, you really must need medbay, what if you're contagious." islith tries to grab them but they shy away.

"i'm not contagious, i promise."

"how can you possibly know that? what if you picked it up from a sample, or, or, garfon has been sick recently! humans can't survive cerian sicknesses-"

"i didn't catch something from garfon, islith," they sigh and open the door wider. "come in and let me explain."

"alright, but if i think you should go to medbay afterwards then i'm taking you there."

"sure, islith."

islith enters, notices the piles of clothes, rumpled bedsheets, the lights are off and the port window shut.

"what's wrong?"

they sigh again, "my body doesn't work like it's meant to, islith."

islith is wildly alarmed, "and you said there was no need for medbay?!? come with me right now and-"

"no! i can't, islith, you don't understand."

"then explain it to me."

"i've... always been this way, although it's gotten worse as i've gotten older. my body, it just isn't built quite right, there's something wrong with it that makes it not work properly and hurt often."

"you're right, i don't understand. why can't you go to medbay?"

"i'd... be thrown off the ship."

"what?!?"

and so they tell islith a story about a young child whose dream was to touch the stars.

"and now, it's too late. i'd get in huge trouble for lying to the government, especially for so long."

"well- but- but humans are so resilient! you hear all the stories!"

"not every human is the same, islith. some of us are born disabled, and some of us get hurt in accidents, just like any other species."

"well, then, well there must be something we can do?"

they look up in shock, "we?"

"of course we, you ridiculous creature," islith said with a fond sigh. "you didn't think i'd leave you to suffer, would you?"

"but, you could get in so much trouble!"

"that's alright, i don't mind. what else are friends for? and, anyway, we don't have to tell your government, we can tell mine."

"but i'll-"

"we don't have any rules like that. any of us who are disabled can still manage in space just fine with the right support, and i bet you could too."

"i- islith- i don't-"

"don't worry, we'll all back you when it comes down to it. you're out teammate, our family. no one on this ship wants to watch you leave because of something you can't control. now come on, let's talk to glidlep in medical, she'll understand."

and for years, things continued on that way, until eventually it was an open secret that the human with the exosuit was disabled and not technically allowed onboard.

and down the line, when nasa found out and was furious, the entire ship and more stood by their side.

[a-certain-romance]

housewife anon without house wofe content for once shocking fr!!

so ill write multiple women cuz…multiple women and im horny and ugh i lvoe women

kay so…ahahahaem let us begin

fuck buddies to lovers senario with streamer!hu tao

hu tao was an amazing streamer to say the very least so you had to send her gifts and chats daily you were there from the very beginning so there was no surprise as to why hu tao contacted you and gave a breif smile and you guys started talking online only to then realise you guys live nearby eachother

so instead of being upfront with your feelings hu tao suggested one thing.

“hey so-“

“Dont worry lets do..ah thats right porn together! you and i wont have to show pur faces!”

well that was up front…you thought but you went for it after all anything for your favourite!! and so from then on you guys fucked yet you were still friends only till a drunken stream where she fucked you senseless with a giant strap letting your cum gush onto hu taos dick did you say the words “i love you.” hu tao wont forget..Sadly you will due to the hangover and nearly passing out moment.

public shaming w yae

i lovebeb her

yae would make you cockwarm her infront of all the attendees at the shrine in all honesty you couldnt belive it when she asked you to do so…but who are you to refuse your loving girlfriend afterall this you get praised and kissed as onlookers watch you stomach buldge and all taking yae getting getting praised for it. some would kill to be in your spot

After all she is the wise and beautiful miko who wouldnt want to be dick filled by her or praised or degraded by her just for a second.

“Seems like your stomach looks like it needs a break dear..”

“mh..im fine.”

“suit yourself.” she chuckles back leaving soft bite marks on your neck and now fondling your chest…is she gonna do it now? atleast you wont have your stomach churrning and yearning no longer

shenhe and finger sucking w cryo!!

shenhe covering her fingers with cryo while your getting pounded is so hard to divulge in after all the sweat is getting you yet shenhe is here to rescue you by shoving her cold cold fingers down your throat letting you suck and bite them as another hand grasps on what little clothing shenhe is wearing too

“hm. Your tempature is getting better maybe i can go-“

“no.”

well suit yourself now shes going slow and wont stop going slow afterall your body was weakening under her touch

and finally breeding with ei

when ei is finally annoyed at your antics and bratty behaviour her shogun side comes along to help her fuck you sensless and all slutty for her

“Your quite tight, You better stop being bratty or it will be worse next time.”

Honestly you liked those odds since she didnt care about taking it slow she wanted to pound you and dominate you till your body fell apart. You had to take all her cum or she would plow 10 times more you leaked out till her balls dropped

honestly it was fun she put you in diffrent posistions atleast!!

-housewife anon

These hearts adore

A/N: Omg loving streamer!hu Tao?? I wrote some little drabbles for each. Apologies for the lack of updates school recently started for me.

Characters/Ships: Hu Tao, Yae Miko, Shenhe, & Ei x reader (separate)

Warnings: Smut & Suggestive content written by a minor, exhibition (Hu Tao & Yae Miko, toys (Hu Tao), Strap ons (Hu Tao) Characters with cocks (Yae Miko & Ei), temperature play (Shenhe), finger sucking (Shenhe), brat taming (Ei), breeding (Ei)

It’s safe to say the first time you tuned in on Deceased_Walnut you fell in love. Maybe not head-over heels in love, but you were most definitely intrigued by the morbidly energetic brunette behind the screen. Gifting her chats and subs for the past few weeks was how she noticed and reached out to you. Hu Tao is a small streamer. But even so, the majority of your talks were through private messages. Until you realized the lack of distance, and nowadays you’re almost inseparable!

But there was also something off about her. Hu Tao tends to be flaky with her plans. Sometimes when you set up a meeting, she might text you an apology about not being able to make it. She uses different excuses each time

You sighed as your phone lit up with a paragraph of a message. Without much else to do, you took this as a night to scroll through nsfw livestreams on a separate site. It was there that you came across a familiar face.

Hu Tao’s regular channel pales in comparison to what she was streaming on this platform. Who knew someone like her uploads porn in her free time? When you found her other channel you remained a lurker at first. She wasn’t so different from how you already saw her, same teasing attitude and all. Despite wearing a special type of mask, you can tell who she without a second glance.

After a few days of watching in stunned silence did you make your appearance known. Hu Tao was doing a special where her subscribers ordered her around. She was fucking herself dumb with a wand while members in the chat were competing to choose the modes. Seeing those glossy eyes cross in pleasure finally convinced you to step out of the shadows: and so you gifted her a bit of money to demand she turn it up to the highest setting. And lucky for you, she zeroed in on your username. Hu Tao would laugh, wink at the screen, and say something along the lines of “this one’s for you!” before making a complete mess on the toy.

She was the first to contact you after stream. Surprisingly, there aren’t many who find her from her regular channel because of how she hides her face. When you met up in person for the first time after that, you guys still got along great. She became more flirty with you, giving you the cheesiest compliments and pick up lines her brain can conceive at any given moment.

The first time you two fucked was after one of her streams. It was a stressful day for her, and she needed a way to destress. She joked about you taking her to bed but then you made that a reality by eating her out. It became the start of your friends-with-benefits situation.

After some time, she proposed the idea of you joining her on stream. The chat only knows you by your username and how hot you look next to Hu Tao.

“Aiya, squirming away makes it less fun! Back me up, chat?” Messages flood through with all types of lewd responses.

“Tie her up so she can’t escape”

“50 bucks she squirts before you bottom out”

“What a whore she is for getting off from this”.

You’re too fucked out to notice the rest. But you’re close enough to Hu Tao to see her face light up at one of the responses. Your head falls to her shoulder. All it takes is that devilish look in her eye before you know what happens next.

Most would not associate the word “night life” following by a shrine. But to the residents of Inazuma, Yae Miko has rebirthed an old tradition with a new face. Aka yours. As dirty as it seems, you’re held in high regard for being showcased as Yae Miko’s newest plaything.

The guji is very particular with who she picks for this “special role”. So much so that most people considered the practice to have to have died out entirely. So for you to be hand plucked from a sea of admirers was an honor. And you happened to be the first in a very long time.

Miko cared for you as a true lover did. Your relationship outside of this role is as thriving as most couples are. She is always one to dote on you for for no particular reason (when she’s with you, does she even need one?). But being with her involves a catch: Showing off your body to the eyes of others.

In addition to the entrance fee, others pay good money to catch a glimpse at the finest Inazuma has to offer. Most times, they can tip off donations to the shrine if they’re watching something they like. It was its own business venture. And Yae Miko, ever the entrepreneur, wanted to reap its benefits now that she has such a willing participant.

“Dearest, it’s important that you put on a good show for our audience. There’s a lot of influential people who came to see you up close”

As is the majority of the crowd, Miko is entirely infatuated with you. At the start of the night, her hands delicately untied your silk robe and watched your breasts fall free with glazed eyes. Her back is almost always turned to the audience. Every time she thrusted her pale shaft into you, your eyes would lock with a stranger in the crowd. And if you tried to look away, Miko would force your chin over her shoulder to stay watch for a second longer.

“Look at her whine, isn’t she cute?” She coos, “Now, be a perfect doll for me and spread those legs of yours wider”

Temperature play is something that always gets a rise out of Shenhe.

After some time of dating, your amazement with her ability to weird both her polearm and Cryo vision led you to observing her adepti training. You’d sit to watch her practice all sorts of skillful maneuvers with the ease and precision of someone twice her age. For someone who isn’t very experienced in combat, her skills fascinated you.

Shenhe offers to teach you some of the things she’s learned. “For your protection” she argues. But maybe she wants another excuse to keep her hands on you more often. It’s hard not to focus on the coldness of her hands as she moves your hips into the correct form. No matter the reason, you’ve taken to sparing with Shenhe once you have the basics down.

It’s times like these under the hot Liyuan sun that would always have you working up a sweat. And your loving, thoughtful girlfriend wants to help you cool down in the best way she knows how. Your body is hot; she controls ice. It’s not rocket science. The solution lies in those cold hands of hers as she shoves 3 fingers down your throat while 3 more are seconds away from making you cum for the nth time. Between your legs is a wet mess dripping down your thighs.

So as Shenhe finger fucks into your core she shoves her Cryo-coated fingers down your throat, she kisses your stuffed cheek. You were thirsty after all. Maybe this should suffice? Shenhe knows that water is necessary when preforming under harsh conditions. But she doesn’t know why she prefers having your mouth on her instead.

Shenhe can second guess herself sometimes. She doesn’t know how long to do this for before you’ve had enough. How is she supposed to decipher those gagging noises you make when she’s knuckle deep in you? Perhaps she could summon her Cryo Spirit to help her out.

It’s rare for anyone to go against the Shogun and live to tell their tale. Every citizen in Inazuma fears the infliction of her wrath. And yet, you were still none the wiser, thinking that being her lover grants some kind of immunity. Ei would undoubtedly never hurt you unless you asked by any means unless for punishment but there are some actions that need to be punished. Actions, that need to tame a brat such as yourself.

Ei takes you to the plane of Euthimiya and it’s there when you know went too far. She could punish you in her personal quarters, her throne room even. But no. In the plane of Euthimiya, Ei holds all the cards. And this time, she won’t stop until you’ve milked her down to the very last drop.

Her godhood only adds to her stamina. The positions are the best part! Of all the ways she can fill you up, Ei likes having you on your side with your leg lifted up. That way, she can perfectly see both your expression and her cum leaking out of you. Seeing your eyes screw shut makes her wanna pump you full.

Though her goal was to reprimand your behavior, Ei couldn’t help but get addicted to the sight of your slick making a mess on the sheets. “So tight, see how your body stretches to accommodate my size~”

With every thrust you take her all the way to the hilt. Her balls slap against your thighs every time she pushed in. Ei bends over your body to kiss and suckle at your neck, “I could stay like this for an eternity…”

It does make her wonder, how many loads can you take until you’re carrying her child? Everything in this dimension is at her disposal, and she happens to have plenty of time to find out. The only limit is how much it takes before you beg her to stop.

[dtrghost]

closeness and proximity part.3

pairing: ghost x f!reader

synopsis: callsign is sunshine, because you're anything but. team 141 thought ghost was bad? at least they could crack a smile out of the guy from time to time, you? you were stone faced, all day, every day. until one day you're not, not with a certain someone anyway.

warnings: inaccurate military language and sequences, angst, allusions to mental illness (reader has sociopathic tendencies) you get the gist. Finally some fluff and emotional stuff between them so yaaayyy.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT:

word count: 2.6k

The drive back was quiet. Price drove back with Gaz and had Soap drive Ghost and Y/N. He sat in the backseat next to her, growing genuinely concerned for her mental wellbeing. The more she thought about it, about the sudden flood of emotions from a small moment in a dirty, humid bar, the more she remembered. The quicker she'd sent herself back into that room to relive those moments again, the ones she never told a soul about.

Simon had to pull her out once more in the duration of the car ride, talking with Soap and forcing her into the conversation to take her mind off of it by asking her weird, off topic questions that she answered. They got back to base and she attempted to split away from the group to her room, only to be yanked back with a serious look from her comrade.

They sat her down at the dinner table, and she suddenly felt small. She felt like she was being interrogated with the eyes of 4 staring at her intently, waiting for her to say something. Yet she didn't, she stayed quiet for 3 minutes, glancing around the room and sighing irritatedly.

"Well. Are you going to tell us or not." Ghost pressed, leaning forward in his chair next to her. She scoffed, chuckling out of anger, the sound running shivers up their spines.

"What the hell is this. You're not my fucking therapists, so quit trying to act like it." She spat, her eyes full of fire and rage.

"You listen here muppet. It's one thing for you to be angry and violent out on missions, but it's a whole other when you lash out at us." Her eyes narrowed at him, watching the flames of determination and vexation dancing, growing. She was lost in them for a moment, the others completely confused about the sudden moment they were sharing. Simon couldn't describe the urge to help her, to get her to open up to them.

Maybe he was just too curious, but what about the slip up in the bar?

love?

She had none, that he felt sure of. Sympathy maybe, a simple attempt to ground her, that's all it was.

He saw something as he read past her rage, it was small and fleeting, a light. A flicker of a candle, but this one wasn't out of anger, it was soft, gentle.

The phone rang, interrupting them as Price pulled out his phone.

"This is Price how copy?" He listened before his eyes landed on her, and just like that, the candlelight disappeared, blown out and left like it was a figment of his imagination. Now there was a void, a shell of human ready to serve and follow her orders. All of her anger dissipated as she rose from her seat. "Rog." He hung up and sighed, looking at her with a sorrowful look, one that she didn't register nor care for.

"You and Ghost have orders to be shipped out to a distribution hub in Amsterdam, you'll fly in a heli and drive the rest of the way. Your chopper will be here in 20 minutes."

"Affirm." She stormed out after that, pissed off by what had just occurred. She angrily threw her civilian mask off to the side and yanked on her work one, strapping on her vest and clipping her gear.

"This is Sunshine, Bravo 0-7 confirm channel." She spoke into her radio, adjusting her gear to her liking, making it tight and in hands reach.

"Bravo 0-7 confirmed." His voice echoed in her room, earning a sigh of irritation as she turned to look at him. He was geared up, making him look thicker than he already was with the extra padding. Instead of taking him she shoved past him, earning a 'tch' as he grabbed her arm, yanking her back to look at him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" She was angry at him. Not at the team, not at headquarters, at him. Why after all these years he suddenly cared. After all the missions they went on together, all the looks she didn't understand or the fleeting moments where she felt something more than anger or a void nothingness. He could see her confusion, making him sigh and put a hand on his hip as a hand lifted to try and sooth her down.

"I'm just trying to help-"

"I don't need your fucking help. So back off." He watched her stomp away.

"Bloody Americans." He muttered, falling into step with her. She remained silent the whole ride there, from when they landed, she was to carride. He watched her, watched as flickers of emotion passed through her gaze. 6 years of pent up feelings did something to people, he knew that better than anyone, and because of that he knew she was going to crack soon, and it was going to be his fault.

He would continue to push until one day she snapped, whether she'd cry or scream or throw a punch at him, he would be there, he had to be. He recalled the nights he'd spent with her in the last few years, where they barely talked but rather absorbed each other's presence as they cleaned their weapons or read through mission briefs. When they did talk it was meaningless, it served no benefit, no new information learned about each other, but it was comforting. He felt comfort in her coldness at the time, maybe because there was someone just as fucked up as he was.

She thought about it often too, the time they spent together on missions, how it ran smoother with him around. She didn't understand the sensations she'd get around him, the heat that burned in her chest, her face. How if she thought about him at night while he slept on the hard floor next to her, she'd press her legs together because of the heat that festered there too. She knew what desire was, she was aware of the need for pleasure, but she never indulged. What was the point if it were not with him? And in her mind she would never be with him, she wasn't good enough for that, she wasn't there, enough for something so intimate.

She knew that maybe she could live a more normal life if she had let him help her, but everything was so on and off. During the ride there she'd think, maybe she would let him help, that wouldn't be so bad. Then she'd snap out of it and be angry with herself for even allowing that thought to cross her mind. She watched a safe house appear from beyond the trees.

"We're stopping here for the night. Intel says the shipment doesn't come until tomorrow." Their driver informed them. They filed out of their cars and distributed themselves to their assigned rooms, and lo and behold, she was forced to share with Ghost. Simon watched her sigh deeply and nod, following her to their shared room.

"Go shower first." He commanded, and she obeyed without a word. She was too exhausted to fight with him. She'd spent the whole way there trying to figure out her shit before it began to affect her performance, and it killed her. She was far off the mark, easily irritated, snappy. She hoped it would wash off in the shower, and she took deep breaths while staring at herself in the mirror, hoping to turn it all off like she did before.

But she couldn't, she'd look and see anger, or a foreign feeling she didn't have a name for. Sadness? No, she had nothing to be sad about. So she huffed, exiting the bathroom to see Simon waiting patiently on his cot. She didn't spare him a glance and laid down on hers, staring up at the ceiling as he analyzed her for a moment, getting no reaction to his intense stare.

He left for his shower, and she listened to his clothes drop, letting her mind wander to what he looked like underneath them.

It was a better distraction than negativity, it made her feel something more enticing, until she was left sexually frustrated. She listened to him shower. The way the water would hit the floor in ripples, imagining how his skin shined and dripped, the coolness of the substance and how they hit his scars. Yeah, this was a better thought. She stayed there, in that moment, even after he walked out.

He snapped his fingers in front of her face, earning a glare from her.

"What're you thinkin' about now then?" He questioned, grunting as his big frame hit his bed. She didn't respond, and he didn't expect her to, likely because she was still mad at him.

"You in the shower." His head turned to her slowly, flabbergasted by what he was hearing. He listened to the melody of her voice as her shoulders shook. For the first time since they met, she laughed, truly. She found his reaction hilarious, how wide his eyes got in horror and... hope? She found that funny too, so funny she doubled over the side, cackling like a mad woman.

"Jesus fuckin' christ." Simon sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose for a moment before laughing himself. He couldn't help it, she just had one of those laughs that forced you to laugh too, the wheeze, the gasps for air as she hit her stomach and fell onto the floor.

"Sunshine, you're gonna die of a heart attack at this rate." He spoke to her, watching her wipe the tears forming in her eyes as she took a deep breath, sitting on her floor.

"I hate you, ya know." She confessed suddenly, surprising him as he looked at her curiously.

"You piss me off, you fucked me up. Don't understand anything anymore. Spent the whole day trying to put myself back together and it's just-" She mimicked an explosion, her hands dropping heavily onto her lap. He sat up, sitting down on the floor in front of her with his knee facing up to rest in his arm on.

"Well if you tell me about it, maybe I can put some things into perspective for you." He offered. He watched her mental battle, the conflict blazing through her skull. He could practically see them floating around her head like a thunderstorm.

"Oh fuckin' hell, just say it. You're thinking too much." She huffed, letting her head fall back as she stared at the ceiling for a moment.

"I can't. I can't explain it. After I got out, I didn't understand much of anything, they tried to wipe me, break me in a way others couldn't by making me forget myself and replace it with what they wanted. But I was rescued before that could happen. I was thrown back in before I could fully recover, because I had a skill set others didn't."

"Things came back in fragments, pieces of my past came back to me, and I realized that maybe it was better that I didn't remember. That if I stayed a shell I wouldn't have anymore emotion burdens than I already did. But it was too late, and it all came back to me one night in shambles. From birth to that moment, everything. I couldn't handle it, so I turned it off, I reverted back to this technique I learned while I was kidnapped, and from then I could never turn it back on." He knew what she was referring to.

Autopilot, where your mind went blank and your body operated on it's own. You couldn't feel anything, you just did what you had to.

"Then I met you. And at first that was fine. You were just another soldier that I had to work with, and then we talked that one night, and talked some more the next. And feelings began to surface on their own. I don't know what it is, excitement maybe? All I knew was that I wanted to talk to you, I looked forward to it, I got these weird feelings in my gut whenever I did."

Was she confessing to a crush... on him? She didn't care. What she did or did not confess to wasn't a concern. He asked and he was receiving.

"And then you started caring, out of nowhere. Years went by and suddenly a few days ago, after I skinned someone alive and you found out some rough shit happened to me, you changed. It made me angry, because I hate feeling, especially things I can't understand."

He noticed that too, that he cared more.

"New information can change your approach, and you have to adapt and improvise." He explained vaguely. He saw something reaching out in her, even through this dump of emotion and information, he noticed the cry for help deep inside her. The part she buried underneath years of mistreatment and being used.

"Stop talking to me like a soldier." She snapped, earning a soft gaze from him that she hadn't received before. It made her chest feel weird, and he could tell by how she grabbed at the shirt covering it.

"You're pissing me off."

"No, I'm breaking you." They made eye contact. All the breath left her lungs in that moment, from his gentle tone and low volume to the look in his eyes that made her eyes water, it was too much. She couldn't take it. Her stomach lurched, and before another word could be uttered between them she scurried to the bathroom, emptying the contents in her abdomen into the toilet.

He was by her side in an instant, shushing her quietly and rubbing her back. His heart sank at the feeling of her shiver and the sound of her retching.

"I gotcha Y/N. Always have right?" She could feel her mind cracking, tears welling in her eyes from the pressure of the vomit and being an emotional wreck.

"I can't." She muttered weakly, sitting against the shower door, grimacing as the air entering her lungs burned with the raw feeling in her throat.

"You can. In all my years being by your side, there's nothing you can't do love, you and I both know that more than anyone." Her eyes met his, seeing his seriousness and true belief in his words. His hand came up and brushed away her tears before her mask absorbed it, the rough pad of his thumbs leaving sparks in the areas he touched. She didn't say anything at first, taking his hand into hers and giving it a squeeze of reassurance, more for herself than for him.

"After our mission. Please." He couldn't say no to a plead like that, so with a curt nod he agreed and held out his other hand to her. He watched her hand envelope his, finding the size difference amusing as his basically swallowed them in his grasp.

"Let's get some sleep yeah. You've done enough for today." She let him bring her to bed, his arm secured around her shoulders, feeling her hand on his waist. He sat next to her until she fell asleep before laying on his own cot. He looked at her for most of the night, making sure she didn't wake up, pondering about what she could be dreaming about as her eyelids flickered ever so often.

He followed her steady breaths to lull him to sleep, praying that tomorrow would go by without too much of a struggle so he could have another moment as intimate as the previous with her, even if it was small.

And that's part 3!! Finally some fluff and opening up, but I wouldn't get too comfortable with it just yet. I have some plans, not sure how I'll execute it but we're getting somewhere. Thank you so much for reading!!

[letika]

"Timber is absolutely unreasonable ship. They never weren't supposed to be canon"

Yeah. I'm ship them. I'm well aware that they only became canon because the writers wanted it that way, not because the majority of fans wanted it.

But I think we all know what it forced ship. Who were never supposed to be a couple anyway, but the writers decided otherwise, so now they're canon. And usually looking at these ships, you can feel how uncomfortable they are with each other. You can see how closed off and awkward they are with each other. How ill-matched they are and how out of place they are in that relationship. Despite some supposed efforts by the writers, but they just look very artificial when they're trying to squeeze out their deepest love for each other and pretend that's the way it's meant to be. And just literally everyone realizes that couple these characters is just impossible as canon.

But Timber don't fall into that category. Surprisingly their dynamic is very genuine and real. I don't sense any unnaturalness or falseness in their love. They are insanely comfortable with each other. The fact that Tim feels safe in Bernard's arms, and basically with him. And Tim considers going to an amusement park or a movie as something exciting and fun, even though that these are quite ordinary places to go on dates, but Tim life in general is a living hell, so the relationship with Ber is like some kind of island of normalcy and safety for him. Like, with him he can just enjoy life and the ordinary pleasures of youth. And writers could easily have gone the way of irritating clichés, like, Bernard might not have known that Tim was Robin and end up resenting him for withholding that information. Or he could have been jealous of Tim's superhero life and demand attention. But in the end, Bernard the most understanding boyfriend ever. It's such a thrill to see such an adequate and accepting person for whom the only thing that matters is that Tim okay and happy. But it's also very noticeable that they are an important part of each other's lives. This is especially evident in Tim. Like, my boy a hero with a lot of problems that go way beyond the problems of normal people, but he'll always make time for his boyfriend. Yah, by and large all of their dates are planned, but that's also what it means that they're an important part of each other's lives that they make special time for. And looking at them you really see that they are fucking love and appreciative of each other.

I don't love Timber for HOW their relationship turned out, I love them for WHAT their relationship turned out to be.

[applepie-enthusiast]

Kimi no Na wa ft. SaneGiyuu

I can't believe there's no SaneGiyuu or any Giyuu ship with this amazing AU. Anyway, let's proceed to imagine.

Giyuu is a high school boy living in a remote town with his adoptive grandfather, Urokodaki and his grandkid Sabito. Giyuu's sister Tsutako has long passed away due to an illness, and their father is the Mayor. Suffice to say he's not a good person at all.

Giyuu hangs out often with his two best friends, Mitsuri and Rengoku (initially I thought of Mitsuri and Obanai, it works too except Obanai hates Giyuu's guts hahaha)

While Giyuu loves his grandfather and his two best friends, he sometimes wonders about the life outside the little town he grew up on.

Sanemi is another high schooler who lives in Tokyo. His parents had long separated and custody was decided that their mother got all his other siblings while he volunteered to be with his father, who refused that he gets no one. Sanemi hates his father so much but he thought he'd rather be the one who suffers than his siblings. He's very thoughtful to everyone in his family but has trouble communicating and expressing how he truly feels about them.

He works part time and has a harmless admiration towards Kanae, his superior at work.

He is best friends with Obanai and Tengen.

When they started switching, it's an understatement to say that things escalated fast in both an amusing and surprising way.

Giyuu walks into school and wonders why Mitsuri and Rengoku were saying he was acting oddly the day before.

"Well..." Mitsuri started, not knowing how to continue it without sounding rude. "You kind of forgot where your locker is and you were very—"

"Energetic!" Rengoku chipped in enthusiastically.

Mitsuri shyly tells Giyuu that he may or might not have picked a fight with Akaza, the kid in the other classroom, who was picking up fights while blurting out and asking who is the strongest.

"You may or may not have punched him..." Mitsuri continued, looking concerned.

Giyuu nurses his hand, "Ah, so that explains why it was aching and kind of numb..." He said nonchalantly.

"Mm!" Rengoku smiles at him, "But to be honest, it was heroic of you, I never would've expected you'd stand up to them like that! You'd always rather rattle them with words!"

Giyuu couldn't say anything. How could he? He doesn't remember a thing.

"You didn't forget your lunch today?" Tengen aims a teasing grin at Sanemi, who merely gave him a look.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Obanai sighed, "You were acting weird yesterday. You forgot your Ohagi, which never happens. You forgot where you work, and you were surprisingly chill when you got a call from your father demanding you do errands."

"What the fuck? I don't remember any of that shit. Quit messing with me." Sanemi shrugs and left, thinking that he did have an odd dream that he was living someone else's life, but, it was a dream, right?

"That was unusual, right?" Obanai glanced at Tengen, who was smiling, a faint misplaced blush on his cheeks. "Actually, he was kinda cute yesterday."

Obanai grimaced at his friend.

Giyuu was having a dream when he heard a loud, unfamiliar ringtone blasting bloody vocals at an ungoldy volume. Still with his eyes closed, he reached out to his phone, thinking Sabito played a prank again and changed his ringtone. But instead of grabbing a phone, he falls from a bed. Which is weird, he doesn't have a bed. Groaning, he slowly got up from bed and adjusted his vision around. He's in an unfamiliar room. Fuck. He hadn't been kidnapped, right? The thought was about to make him slightly worry but then he heard an angry voice call out to him. Except it's not his name. "Sanemi", the voice said.

Slowly standing up, he quietly peaked over and saw a huge, buff man with black hair and a scary expression, glaring at him. "The fuck are you staring at? Move! Go to school or pick fights in alleyways, I don't care. Gimme the money Shizu owes me tonight, or else!"

Giyuu merely stared at the man, who in his observation looked a bit shocked at his reaction. The man left, not earning anything from him.

Giyuu heard the god forsaken ringtone again and rushed to his phone, when he failed to answer in time, a message popped in, "You're late again! I won the bet with Iguro, he said you'd be in time today. Lmao."

The name suggests it came from "Tengen", Giyuu then gently placed the phone down and walked to the mirror.

He was undeniably not in his body. He had quite a much larger physique and more refined muscles that were visible even while wearing a shirt. He had spiky white hair, and a number of scars littered his face and arms.

Instead of panicking, he quietly looked around the room, saw what could be a uniform, grabbed it and went inside the bathroom to start the day.

Stepping outside, he is greeted by a beautiful scenery of the city he only ever sees in television and the internet. Giyuu then went to the guy's school, trying his best to blend in and live his life. He found out the name of the boy is "Sanemi".

Sanemi woke up, he wasn't in bed. Trying to think back, he had no memory that he didn't go home even if he never wanted to. Not that the apartment with his dad can even be called a home. But now, he's in a futon, in a room with a traditional touch to it. Suddenly, someone pushed the doors open, and he sees a teen with peach colored hair.

The kid snorted, "What, Giyuu? Gonna pick a fight with me again?"

Giyuu? Who's that? Sanemi thought to himself, his eyebrows creased in annoyance and confusion. Yet he feels tired.

"Get up, it was your time to make breakfast but since I know you cook shit, I took the liberty of doing it. No worries, just come down to breakfast. Urokodaki-jii is waiting for you." With that, the boy left.

Sanemi got up from his futon too fast and stomped his way to the full body mirror. And is flabbergasted to see he wasn't himself. It's some guy with an unruly black hair and striking blue eyes. He had no scars, and is a tiny bit shorter and smaller than his own body.

Sanemi wandered his eyes and saw the kid's ID with the same face plastered there. "Tomioka Giyuu" it says. He ran a hand through his hair and stayed confused, none of this answers his question. Fuck, he'd have to find out what's happening.

Soon enough, those two found out what they were experiencing wasn't a dream, and they were indeed switching bodies and lives.

Both agreed they'd keep a journal in their phones to keep track of what was happening.

"Hey ponytail, stop trying to freak out my friends with your gloomy demeanor. Act more like me, goddammit."

"I could say the same to you. Stop picking fights with Akaza and Sabito. You're bruising my body. You're also making Kanroji and Rengoku worried."

"Don't take this on me, stop being weird with Kocho for me! Now she thinks I'm soft with all those stuff you did for her."

"Kocho is a good person. Anyway, you are soft. You did all those Maths notes for me. That was very thoughtful."

"Well yeah, your maths notes are shit. Better thank me for my immaculate handwriting there."

"Thank you. But in all other subjects, you don't write at all. You wrote numbers only. Also, I think Tengen might also be into you. Iguro seems to hate it when I'm the one he hangs out with."

"No, Tengen does not! He's just weird! Like you! And Iguro probably sensed your dumb aura. Learn how to cook, too. Your cooking is shit."

"Genya said he loved the Ohagi I made. He's a good kid."

"Don't be friendly with my family too.. especially that shitty dad. That thread thing you do with your grandpa and that peach haired kid is so hard goddammit. When has the threads ever talked geez."

"The thread does talk. Also, I'm not friendly with your dad, I was civil. I'm in no position to say this, but you and your family can escape him, you don't have to deal with that."

"Wow, who gave you the right to be chummy enough to give me an advice?"

"Your mom said she'd hope you all could live in the same roof soon, just you, her and your siblings. Genya enjoyed the times we played Mario Kart and I lost.. Anyway, I suggested you and your family will go and watch a comet pass by. I don't know if it will be me or you in your body then, but if it's you, please go."

"Oh my god you're such a weirdo..."

"😶✌️"

"Stop using emojis too... Sucker weirdo..."

Giyuu wouldn't stop talking about a stupid comet. What comet? There was no news about it. But perhaps it's not a bad idea.

Suffice to say, Sanemi started looking forward to switching with Giyuu and meeting his friends. He liked the personality of that Rengoku kid, even if Mitsuri annoys him a bit. He did loved Urokodaki's cooking, and the times he brawled with Sabito and the satisfaction he felt when Sabito loses everytime. He also began looking forward to the notes they exchange.

The day came, however, no comet showed up. He and his family ended up just eating and watching a movie. He waited for a time to switch, and Giyuu's entry on his phone.

However, none of those came again. He went to investigate, and his friends Tengen and Kanae came with him, and lead them to a town called Itomori.

Sanemi is shocked when everything that reminded him of the things that transpired with Giyuu is slowly disappearing.

Finally he learns the truth, Itomori was devastated by the comet three years ago. He remembered Giyuu from three years ago meeting him in a train, but at the time, he didn't know him yet. Their times weren't synched.

He hoped that he would be given another chance to save Tomioka.

And he was given that chance.

Everything is up to your imagination at this time hahaha.

Sanemi and Giyuu meeting there, and Sanemi smiling at Giyuu ever so fondly, "I went to look for you, but you were so far away." Giyuu crying in tears of joy of finally seeing Sanemi again.

After they met, things would get serious. Sanemi told Giyuu the plan.

Just, imagine, Mitsuri being the one who broadcasts in the school, and Rengoku trying to get people to go to the school but his dad stopped him.

But he is equally shocked to see the comet really did split up.

Giyuu, running with all of him, stumbling and falling, and remembers Sanemi's words.

"So we won't forget, let's write each other's name on our hands."

Upon opening his palms, it reads,

"I love you."

Giyuu is shocked, happy and he mumbles fondly, tears on his eyes,

"I can't remember your name with this..." And brings his hand close to his lips. He gains the motivation to convince his father to evacuate people to the high school, and suceeded in doing so.

Years after, Sanemi and Giyuu meet again, having better lives (Sanemi away from his dad and now sanemi is living with his family; While Giyuu lives in the city)

They don't have the memories of those times with them, but are willing to get to know each other again. This time, death is a far away thing just yet.

[your-local-grubdog]

Wait actually can we talk about Leaflings real fast. Because. What the actual fuck.

Also sorry if I curse a lot more here than usual but like 90% of my genuine reactions to this topic is "what the FUCK" so uhh get used to it I guess.

Huge thanks to @saihahas for helping me with some image transcripts as well.

Major story spoilers below you have been warned. Ok let's go.

So you're able to just rise from the dead in pikmin 4. No, seriously. You can do that.

At the end of Olimar's side story we get this scene and associated line:

[Image transcript: White text on a black screen that says "But at that very moment, my life support system failed" END TRANSCRIPT]

Like. He died. His life support system failed. He DIED. And moments later, he was revived as a leafling. He died and came back from the dead. Like, what the fuck????

It even fixed up his injuries he got prior to becoming a leafling. Just a full on revival.

Image transcript (one leads into the other naturally)

Collin: By the by, Olimar, is there anything you remember from right before or after you became a leafling? Any additional details?

Olimar: Not particularly. It didn't feel bad or anything like that. In fact, it was quite revitalizing.

Olimar: My chronically stiff shoulders and all the injuries I'd sustained during my explorations healed immediately.

Yonny: Hmm... Perhaps leafification has highly restorative effects...

Yonny: This is definitely something worth looking into, eheheh. END OF TRANSCRIPT.

Now we don't know if everyone who was a leafling had to die before hand, though there is a common thread that they were at least unconscious... And had just escaped deadly situations... I think Olimar found them moments before they died and, not knowing any other way to save them, leafed them as well. Something they bear no ill will towards him for - in fact, they're thankful for him.

Image transcript:

Jin: When I was leafified, I could not stop thinking about the art of Dandori. It was like an endless meditation.

Jin: A leafling appeared in front of me after the ship crashed and I had used up all of my flagging energy.

Jin: My intuition told me they were not a bad person. I also felt as though they were determined to achieve something

Jin: I am afraid I do not recall much of what happened after that, as I lost consciousness. END TRANSCRIPT.

Image transcript:

Corgwin: I was attacked by a creature, and right before I lost consciousness, I saw something overhead. It was a leafling

Corgwin: They had such sad eyes, but there was more going on in there. Their eyes were full of determination.

Corgwin: I have to believe there is a reason why they do what they do. Turning castaways into leaflings, I mean.

Corgwin: Your time is limited, so think it through! END TRANSCRIPT.

Image transcript:

Bernard: You need anything else?

Bernard: Even when Olimar was leafed out, he was still trying to RESCUE folks!

Bernard: And there I was with my head focused on nothing but Dandori stuff. HOO, he's one tough cookie!

Bernard: You need anything else? END TRANSCRIPT.

Ok Bernard's conversation doesn't add to the "he found them in deadly situations" point but it DOES show that all of his "victims" think highly of him for the fact that he had saved them and others. (Also, side note, Olimar had sad eyes... Poor bastard thought he was never going home to his wife and kids, was visibly depressed over this, and STILL was trying to save people. Olimar is like, genuinely such a good fucking person God damn.)

Now being a leafling is undead and comes with its own slew of problems. Namely, the fact Dandori takes over your brain (probably the pikmin survival instinct) and the fact you can no longer leave PNF-404. It's not even an air thing, it's not being on the planet that causes sickness, so not even spacesuits can fix it.

But then you're able to cure yourself of being a leafling. And just. Go back? To your normal life?????? Like nothing ever happened. You died and came back. What the fuck.

And to make that point worse. One of the key ingredients is Glow Sap. Which is produced by the Luminknolls. The only other thing the Luminknolls make is uh. Glow pikmin. Which.

“Although they've been named Glow Pikmin, it's not entirely clear whether or not this species is actually a type of Pikmin. These creatures possess the same fundamental behaviors of Pikmin, like carrying things, propagating, and fighting. They also share special characteristics, such as the leaf atop their head. Yet they do not spawn from an Onion but a Lumiknoll, and they are only active at night or underground. During the day, they revert into seeds and enter a resting state. What's even more surprising is that they exhibit no signs of life. When a Glow Pikmin "dies," if that word can even be used, it does not expire in the typical sense. Instead, it just becomes a form of light-or perhaps a photon-and returns to the Lumiknoll. Putting aside my "scientist" hat for a moment...it seems to me that this creature or entity may not be a living organism at all but some manner of spiritual substance.”

[Image Transcript: a screenshot of the Piklopedia showing the very end of the above quote. END TRANSCRIPT]

And just as some icing on the cake:

[Image transcript: Louie's piklopedia notes on the glow pikmin. All it says is "Doesn't smell alive." END TRANSCRIPT]

Cool they're fucking ghosts. Sorry I can't be convinced otherwise, they're clearly some sort of supernatural entity at MINIMUM. I just think spirit is most likely. They don't have to be the spirits of dead pikmin... Although... You can convert a Glow Pikmin into normal pikmin via a candy pop bud. I've done it before, I have no video of it but you can go and try it yourself if you'd like. And if they are spirits of pikmin then that means that we can also bring pikmin back from the dead. What the FUCK.

Anyways. I got side tracked sorry. My point was the Luminkolls make two things: Glow Sap and Glow Pikmin, which have similar names and similar appearances and. Are we using ghost juice to cure leaflings???? Which is used to reverse all negatives of being leafed. Which can be used to bring the dead back to life.

I don't know how to end this. I really really don't know how to end this. I just need someone else to scream about this with because it's so. It's so fucking WEIRD like what the hell. It's not enough that they may be humans, noooo, there's also undead creatures (excluding the mushroom guys those freaks have an explanation at the very least). This game is weird as hell but tbh I love it.

[hannigramislife]

Question: What's your opinion on all Dazai ships? I personally think that literally everyone could do better <3

Omgg anon, I love this ask so goddamn much!! Okay, let's get into it-this is gonna be long.

Two things before I continue. One, I'm a Hannigram fan, make of that what you will. Secondly, shipping does not mean "oh, these two are definitely canon, they have feelings for each other," shipping has always meant "I love their dynamic and can see a world where it could be romantic." That's why we have more than one.

Soukoku (Dazai/Chuuya) - Obviously this was gonna be my first choice to start this conversation. I think that soukoku is textually supported. I'm sorry, but there's just some things you don't write if you don't want people to ship two characters. These two are written for each other, therefore a perfectly valid ship. I myself do not ship skk, don't care about them as a ship at all, but I can certainly see the appeal. They have a history, and they're now on opposite sides, but still every bit the lethal team-up. I don't get the emotional side of it though – they inspire no such feeling in me, and I do believe Chuuya could definitely do better XD

Kunizai (Kunikida/Dazai) - This one I actually like quite a lot. I don't necessarily ship them in canon, but I believe they're good for each other. Kunikida with his rigidness and morals and Dazai with his carelessness and disaster that seems to follow him. I also like how Kunikida has a book where he jots down the best way to live, and Dazai has a book he carries around on how to die. I believe they're very different, but the sincere trust and care they have for each other, as well as the easiness of their partnership is something they both rely on and need. 10/10 ship.

Dazatsu (Dazai/Atsushi) - The age gap here is the biggest problem for people from what I've seen, but I don't think this is a proship or a bad ship that should be discouraged. Again, I don't ship it, but I feel it's perfectly fine if you do? "Oh, there's a power imbalance-" bitch, what power imbalance?? Like, you do know they're coworkers, right? Yes, Dazai saved him and Atsushi is grateful, but Atsushi is not stupid or blindly devoted or whatever. What he is, is mentally ill, but then again, so is Dazai, and if you think Dazai would take advantage of him, then that says more about Dazai as a character than it does the ship itself. Atsushi could definitely do better, and to me, that better is Akutagawa XD

Morizai (Mori/Dazai) - Well, I don't think I have any thoughts on this, other than the obvious ones. Dazai was a child in the Mafia, and they do seem to have a more guardian/ward relationship, fucked up as it is. Mori was definitely at least mentally and emotionally abusive to Dazai, from what we've seen. I don't think anyone would actually ship this? Unless you're talking purely fanfic scenarios. In this case, Dazai could do better. So yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and "nope" this.

Odazai (Oda/Dazai) - Now listen. Again, I don't ship this (I don't know if I ship anything that has Dazai, I hate the man), but if you think Oda and Dazai had a father/son relationship, you're delusional. Dazai cared so much for Oda, and upon reading Beast, I refuse to believe there was no universe where Dazai developed feelings for him. I think of them every time I listen to any Adele songs. "Them" being their Beast version. I'm so serious. This is a valid ship far as I'm concerned.

Dazaku (Dazai/Akutagawa) - This one is a ship that I get so riled up about. Because of the fandom. I honestly never gave this ship a second thought until I saw how hated it was. Then, I realized it's hated for all the wrong goddamn reasons. I don't ship it, because I hate Dazai on principle, but sometimes, I feel like I'm shipping it out of spite. It's like people can't make up their minds about the dynamic of these two. When you want to say Dazai abused Akutagawa, they'll be like "Oh, Dazai was a child, too!" Then you say they both grew and are healing – and maybe Dazai cared after all? – and it's all "You can't ship him with his abuser!" Well, which is it now? Is Dazai a bad guy still? Is it so wrong to want Dazai to care? To imagine Dazai pulling Akutagawa into the light with him? When people vehemently hate on this ship, I take that to mean "Yeah, Dazai is the worst, how could you ship Akutagawa with him?" Which, great take, I'm all for that. This ship is overhated in my opinion. Both Dazai and Akutagawa are two important pillars of what makes Bsd what it is. Their relationship is complicated and messy and important – so yeah, I'm not surprised people would ship this. Sometimes, toxic yaoi is where it's at, and you just wanna fix them. Akutagawa can DEFINITELY do better.

Souheki (Dazai/Ranpo) - I think they're besties. Absolutely nothing romantic here for me. I cannot see it, but I love them both, so I'd read fics at least. They're both geniuses who hold deep respect for each other. They may be able to understand each other much quicker and on a deeper level than other people, but I think they'd be a disaster if they were to date. Absolutely not. Plus, I'm a huge Ranpoe fan, so I'm biased.

Fyozai (Fyodor/Dazai) - They have a lot of tension, I'll give them that. They're two pretty, genius bitches playing 3 dimensional chess while everyone else plays checkers. Plus, being on opposite sides?? I can appreciate some enemies to lovers when I see it. I think if I were Fyodor, I'd definitely be interested in this young man who can match my intellect even as I've been alive since Jesus Christ was born. Also, don't ask me why, but they feel so gay when they're together – just, not for each other? I think in a no powers au, they'd definitely experiment together lmao. So, valid ship in-universe? I'm going to allow it. They could both do better.

Sigzai (Sigma/Dazai) - I don't know how this ship got popular?? I mean, sure?? Great ship?? Genuinely don't know what to say. I mean, they're there and they're both pretty?? I guess? Honestly, Sigma reminded me of Akutagawa, it was kinda funny to see. But go off XD??

I think that was it, lemme know if I forgot any major ships!

[emilykaldwen]

The Maiden and the Drowning Boy | Aegon x OC | Chapter Seventeen

Rating: Explicit

Ships: Aegon II Targaryen x Abrogail Strong (Lyonel Strong's Daughter), Jacaerys Velaryon x Helaena Targaryen

Summary: As the kingdom teeters on the edge of chaos, Alicent Hightower swaps the pieces on the board: Aegon will marry Abrogail Strong, Larys’ younger sister and heir to Harrenhal. Caught in the web of intrigue and political machinations, the pair must figure out where their loyalties lie, and what they mean to one another.

Tropes: Childhood Sweethearts/Friends to Lovers, Generational Trauma and Cycles of Abuse, It's All About the Character Development, Unreliable Narrators, Multi-POV, Canon Divergent, Bisexual Aegon II Targaryen, Book/Show Mash Up, Fix-It Of Sorts, Stopping the Cycle of Abuse before it gets us all killed, Team Neutral, fairy tale vibes meets victorian medievalism meets grrm

No tag list. please follow @emkald-fic and turn on post notifications for updates or subscribe on AO3

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Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen

AO3 LINK

Author's Note: We've got Rhaenyra POV! We've got Aemond POV! We've got a surprise in the end! Thank you for all the support and patience. You're all getting this chapter early since I'm out of town for the weekend! Enjoy!

PLEASE PLEASE subscribe to the series page or my author page so you get updates when we start the next story! You're not going to want to miss it. (And follow @emkald-fic on tumblr if you read here!)

All my love to @vampire-exgirlfriend for her love and support and holding my hand through this chapter that just kept kicking my fucking ass. If you need more Aemond content, you must read, They Say I killed You (Haunt Me Then)! Now complete! (epilogue going up soon!)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - Parrying the Daggers Thrown At Us

Rhaenyra receives a letter. Aemond cannot find peace until he gets a taste of it.

Grandfather is still ill, much like we saw him last but he prefers his wheel chaired more oft than not…

Things have been tense, understandably so, but Queen Alicent has been cordial and has made sure we are comfortable and have what we need… 

Aegon and Aemond keep their distance, perhaps so they can glare all the better…

I do not know how to make amends for what happened… 

…and they say Aemond is taken by his pains at times, darkening his room as his head aches from his wound… 

I should make amends, it is right… 

What do you think I should do?...

Heleana has been the warmest… 

…we danced together at the feast and she was quite happy to do so. It is nice spending time with her…

Aegon is happy around Lady Abrogail and she laughs freely with him. He is not like how he used to be as much with her… 

I think Lord Lyonel and Ser Harwin would be pleased to see how well she is treated…

Many houses were represented at Aegon’s nameday… 

Most seemed to wonder if Aegon would have been named heir and displace you but none came to pass… 

…they will inherit Harrenhal. I can see the wisdom in it as Luke will have Driftmark one day, but I think of Joffrey and Aegitsos and my uncles who do not have lands and holds to occupy them…

I love you much, Muñus, I hope you are well and that I will see you soon…

Rhaenyra ran her fingers over her son’s careful script, her mouth twitching in fondness amidst her worry of her zēapos. His letter was long, too much for a raven’s wings and she started from the beginning once she had read it through once. Twice. Her ribs ached as if Jace had been carved out of her to go on this journey and she shook her head, trying to let the feeling flit away on the breeze. Her eldest had a temper, much as she did in her youth, much as his father had, in the ways that drew her in. Time stole away much, and her own bouts of temper had cooled with each broken toy, each yelling fight, each ‘he pulled my hair!’ and ‘He pushed me and won’t share!’

The sounds of swords clanged in the yard and her gaze flitted from her son’s letter - pages crinkled in her grasp - to the courtyard below where Daemon was testing the new recruits to the Dragonstone guard. His silver hair was twisted back from his face in braids as he preferred, something about war and mindset and always be prepared.

He called something towards Joff and Aegitsos as the knight before him panted, having been bested against her husband.

Baela had not written, that much she knew, though Jace had said that she had found a friend in Helaena after a tense standoff. Rhaenyra had found the mention of it surprising, for her little sister, in the times she’d been around her, had been a quiet thing, eyes large in her face, gaze flitting to everyone and no one.

Helaena has been the warmest…

Helaena was not yet married. The match with Aegon had never come to pass.

The invitation lay on the table before her next to the plate of lemon cake she liked for her morning meal on days such as this.

The wedding of Prince Aegon of House Targaryen and Lady Abrogail Strong of Harrenhal…

In five moons, the spectacle would be held in the Riverlands. In five moons, the realm would look upon her brother once more, peacocked and pulled out, as Daemon sneered, by Otto Hightower to show him off as a contender, to put pressure on her father to change his mind. Her father had nearly twenty years to change his mind and still, he had not. Not even in her absence, cowardly as it sometimes felt to retreat and lick her wounds, had her father’s support of the claim and her family seemed to waver. Try as the Hightowers might to scream and spread slanders that would call for bloodshed, her father still would not be swayed. It was the sense of satisfaction that she had felt when he came to her defense in that shadowed hall those years ago, the heated of curl in it that no matter what, there could be no question as to his choice.

He had chosen her.

Even as the feeling waned over time to give over to those moments where she doubted, all the times he had failed to reign his wife in with her abuses and vitriol, the words her son had sent her bolstered her.

I think Lord Lyonel and Ser Harwin would be pleased…

Harwin’s little sister, big blue eyes and red curls bound in braids, peeking curiously over the edge of Lucerys’ cradle next to Jace because ‘She asked if she could see the baby and give him this,’ Harwin had said, as the little girl presented her attempts at embroidering a little dragon on a pillow. Little Abrogail, half Harwin’s, half Alicent’s. She had tried to bring the girl to Dragonstone with them. Would she not be happier away from the court politics with her brother and the quiet? Lord Lyonel had given her a surprised, then hard look, and Rhaenyra had felt chastened in a way her own father had never been able to evoke within her.

“I will keep my daughter with me, and should I send her away, it will be back to her home, at Harrenhal, with her brother.”

Grief washed through her like the crashing of the waves on the rocky shore below and she felt her own jagged edges inside of her. Lyonel Strong had been the best of them, putting the realm first, always by her side at every council meeting she attended, encouraging her, even as his face grew graver with each brunette curled boy she bore.

Violet eyes swept across the parchment again. A servant in the camp had tried to attack the girl, Jace said. Crept into her tent, assuming she would have been alone. Inquiries were being made, but as far as anyone could see, the man had just been a baseborn servant - blending in like no other. Rhaenyra pursed her lips and looked down at the training yard once more, fingers drumming along the stone ledge of the terrace.

She wondered how wrapped around Lady Abrogail’s finger her half-brother might be… and how opportune this moment was.

Alicent’s eldest was marrying and taking a seat in the Riverlands. It was not the bold choice that Rhaenyra had thought would happen. Surely one of the many Lannister girls, or one of the Baratheons - a great house who would be invested in their own daughter becoming queen would have made more sense.

Harrenhal, for the wealth and lands that it had, did not command armies the way the Stormlands did. It did not have endless coffers the way Casterly Rock boasted of. It was a moody fortress on the edge of the God’s Eye, surrounded by lush farmland and woods that were dark and deep and felt that you were somewhere fanciful, somewhere that didn’t hold dragons nor thrones, nothing except for a warm hand wrapped around her own.

The clashing and screaming of steel in the yard below pulled Rhaenyra from her thoughts, and away from the path of her sorrows and regrets. Turning her back to the sight below, she reached for her own parchment and quill, pushing aside the letter from Lord Celtigar.

Lady Abrogail… Good tidings on news of your approaching nuptials…

Aemond pursed his lips, his gaze rising from the book before him, a study on the Conqueror’s approach to the first Dornish war,to squint across the barrel room near the top of the tower that held the library in the Holdfast. He drummed his fingers upon the scarred wooden table, a fingertip running along the crescent burn from the time Abby had accidentally knocked over a candle while they were reading about Harren the Black.

He exhaled slowly, the way the Braavosi manuals advised and looked back at his book.

It had been weeks since his brother’s festivities, and the chill of the end of the growing season had crept in. It was not cold by northern standards, but the air cooled, the rains rolled in for the next several months, and angry storms fell over them  from the Narrow Sea, their winds piercing and frightening, as if they were dragons themselves in the winds that the Storm God rode, threatening to tear apart the Red Keep brick by brick.

Helaena’s nameday had passed with quiet fanfare, the lingering lords of the realm who had not left parading their sons in front of his maiden sister. As if any of them were worthy of a dragonrider, someone as clever and kind as Helaena.

It had been complicated over the past weeks since the talk in the garden, and Aemond still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt. What had been most surprising had been the strange sense of release when his sister let him go, leaving him to sit in the rain before Visenya’s statue, her words ringing in his ears. 

‘I would burn Dorne for you… but I do not want to leave behind a world of ash and bone.’

How desperate Helaena had looked, angry and frightened and full of hope as she begged not to have a husband, but a brother back. ‘How else am I supposed to protect her?' he had wondered. How else could he offer his sister protection and security if it wasn’t to marry her, to tie her to him so that she would never have to fear, never have to doubt her acceptance and those who loved her?

Aegon had not wanted to marry her. She was weird, he’d sneered. How miserable Helaena would be, how miserable they both would have been. Aemond had done the right thing. He’d stepped up, he had gotten Mother and The Tower to break the betrothal. Even if they had not promised him and Helaena to one another, that was alright, it would simply be a matter of time.

He had Vhagar. There could be no further doubt that he was truly a Valyrian. There could be no more doubt as to his place in the world. All that was left was his sister.

Guilt gnawed deep in his stomach, shame twisting around his throat when the thought filtered through. Helaena was not a bauble he needed to collect to prove something. Collecting her was not protecting her. Collecting her was not about her, but for him, and it was this knowledge that he had thought about constantly.

His sister deserved more than being a broodmare, to be a pawn in the games. The forced distance the last few weeks had given him, after Helaena pushed him from the proverbial nest, had left him unsettled and snappish.

The loud thud of a book hitting the stone floor reverberated through the room. A heavy tome, judging from the heft of the sound, followed by a soft giggling, a deeper snickering sound chasing after it before they muffled and fell quiet.

He knew, with the utmost certainty, why it had fallen quiet.

Ever since the betrothal, the grip on his best friend had been slipping. Oh, him and Abrogail were an unlikely pair, but few appreciated books and history as his cousin did. While digging in the dirt and helping Helaena catalog her collection had been fulfilling, there was something joyous in being able to have someone who understood the quiet and sanctity of the library, and who loved books and reading and learning as he did. Lyonel Strong had always indulged his questions when was young - far more enthralling than Mellos and Orwyle were, and he had fostered that curiosity in his daughter.

‘All she’s going to care about is making babies with Aegon!’ Helaena had cried, frustrated and angry when they’d been alone after the fight in the brothel. 

There was a soft cry, and Aemond scowled at his book before his chair scraped across the stone floor and he strode purposefully towards the source of the sound. The histories of the Riverlands were there - not just observational books, but the census, the trade information, things used by the small council’s not-quite-so-small army of clerks and counters and lawmakers. The section of the library that Abby had frequented since the announcement and that he had helped her with.

“Not here,” came the whispered whine, laced with laughter. Aemond rolled his eye as he turned the corner of the aisle. It was shadowed somewhat this far down, The strategically polished silver angled to bounce the light around so as not to pose a fire risk among the precious books, although the day was gray and cloudy and the light reflected was that of a lamp. Abby was pressed against the bookshelves, the blue and silver brocade of her skirts rucked up with her stockings on display, her legs at present, wrapped around his stupid brother’s waist. One arm was stretched out to grab onto the bookshelf behind her, and the fallen book that had been in its place was still on the ground. Aegon’s face was buried into her chest, or maybe her throat? 

He was half-blind, after all, sometimes details could be mercifully missed. Or ignored.

“This,” Aemond said, his voice even and dripping with every ounce of annoyance and betrayal he felt, “is the library, not a brothel.”

Aemond’s fists clenched at the disrespect both of them displayed to a place they knew  was important to him. At the announcement of his presence, Abby squeaked, Aegon’s arms tightening around her as she scrambled to lower herself without sending them both toppling. He held his arms folded behind his back, his hand scraping along his elbow as the pair of them got themselves in order and he shook his head when Aegon looked at him, dragging the back of his hand across his mouth. Abby had turned to straighten her gown.

“Are you really going to act like this?” Aegon said, for it was barely a question. “We weren’t in front of you and your book. You were the one seeking us out.”

“Because you both weren’t as quiet as you thought you were,” Aemond snapped. “It was distracting.”

A lazy smirk crossed across his brother’s flushed face and he wanted to punch him square in his stupid nose. Let him kiss his future wife with his face bashed in. “Well, my lady is distracting-.” There was a soft sound as Abby smacked Aegon’s shoulder, cutting him off with an exaggerated ow, the flinch was nowhere near the violent response that inhabited his brother when it was their mother doing the hitting. She peered around Aegon’s shoulder, her mouth just as swollen, her cheeks just as flushed and her features apologetic.

“We’re sorry, Aemond. Things just got out of hand. I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t you apologize,” Aegon interrupted her this time, a fierce look on his face. 

“No, actually,” Aemond cut in, taking a step forward, using the few inches he now had on his brother to straighten his shoulders. “She’s right. Thank you, Abby, for apologizing. Are you upset that she has to apologize for you, since your self-awareness is worse than a billy goat ramming his head into things?”

Aegon’s mouth gaped in offense, his flush deepening. There was a bruise along his neck that was going to be difficult to hide. The glib nature of his eldest brother was a trial at the best of times, but this? “You know this isn’t your place to run about as you please. Shall I just unlock my doors, let you roll around in my sheets and over my personal things while you’re at it?”

“It’s the fucking library, Aemond. It doesn’t belong to you-”

Abby let out a startled cry as Aemond’s fist shot out, but as much as he would love to punch his brother, he shoved him instead, feeling the crackling of frustration, the rumble of Vhagar in his chest.  “Because it’s all yours, is that it? You mewling fucking kitten. This isn’t just my library, it’s hers too, but you don’t fucking care about anything that means something to anyone else if it gets in the way of what your limp cock wants.”

“Aemond, truly, we’re sorry - Aegon, no!” Abby’s voice was lost in Aegon’s growl as his brother came back with another shove, sending him back a few steps. Aemond laughed, a hint of a sound like the thin scrape of wind whistling through a crack. Yes, yes let the idiot push him around. Let him continue to pull his friend away from him, from him and Helaena both. His gaze darted briefly to the redhead, blue eyes wide as she pressed herself back against the shelves, before meeting his brother’s lighter gaze.

“You are a glib fucking fool, Aegon,” Aemond said lowly, his mouth curling as he readied for a fight, needing to expend the burn of flame inside of him. “I don’t care what the pair of you do, I’ll say nothing should Mother hear of it, but-” he stepped forward and shoved Aegon hard into the bookstack. The ancient wood creaked and groaned, but the stacks were bolted to the floor to prevent them from topping. A few books fell from the force of Aegon’s frame smacking into it. “Stay the hell out of my library.”

He did not look over his shoulder, even as Abby called his name, apology rife in her tone. He strode through the halls, calling for his horse to be saddled while he went to angrily pull on his riding leathers. The left side of his temple ached as it was wont to do when his face was full of tension. Helaena would make him tea, protect him in the quiet, but that was not meant to be today. The last he saw, his sister was in the gardens with Jacaerys. 

How he ached to wring the stupid bastard’s neck.

How bright he seemed to make Helaena laugh.

How betrayed Aemond felt by it all.

Why hadn’t Helaena said anything? Why hadn’t she told him that she didn’t want to be married? Why had she just let him wander around like a puppy and now left the fool?

‘But hadn’t she told you?’ a little voice drifted through Aemond’s mind and he paused in the lacing of his leathers. Had she not told him by pursuing that fool Warren Fossoway, and the time that he had spied her kissing him - for he had seen Helaena push the squire behind the carved dragon pillar by the gardens. 

‘But she would let me kiss her, she would kiss me, and she’d touch me and I her and-’ The flurry of thoughts ached as he pulled on his boots.

It would not hurt as much if it was anyone but Jacaerys.

The ride to the beach beneath the shadow of the Red Keep was a blur. The rock outcropping of Aegon’s High Hill was a craggy, sheer thing, but the beach below was one that Vhagar enjoyed sunning herself, a guard dog laying at the foot of the bed in a way. Her head lifted as Aemond approached, lowing in greeting and shaking sand from her scales. The tension in Aemond’s chest began to ease at the sight of her, and he approached, patting a gloved hand along her scarred neck, scratching along a vicious scar she must have received in Dorne. There were no words exchanged, not the way Aegon chattered with Sunfyre. Aemond’s bond with Vhagar was one of feeling, of such deep understanding that no words needed to spill from him. In no time, he scaled her great bulk and yelled out the command to fly, which his dragon responded with her own, what he assumed was excited, call in return.

Vhagar landed on the cliffs on the western side of Massey’s Hook, the bay below dotted with smaller fishing boats this far out from King’s Landing and away from the bustle of the capital. Rage and grief, anger and fear were a tempest in his gut and he rankled at the call of Moondancer as his cousin circled above them.

If Baela wanted this fight, then he would meet her, unflinching. Let her see what dragons were made of. They did not all reside on Dragonstone.

“Laodijes peldios!” Baela howled at him, her voice a sharp shout on the breeze, her face twisted and ugly with fury, fists at her side as she readied herself to hit him should he get within reach.

Aemond glared at her, the distance between them shrunk now to an arm length. Vhagar was a great shadow behind him and he could feel the sulfuric heat of her breath as she exhaled buffeting at his back. Moondancer was a little ways away, shrieking fearfully and Aemond could not tell if the dragon reflected her rider’s mood, or her fear of Vhagar.

“You’re a fucking fool. Daemon Targaryen is your father, your mother a Velaryon, and you still don’t realize that a dragon cannot be stolen.”

“You had no fucking right!” Baela snarled. “Vhagar was for Rhaena to claim-”

“If Vhagar had not wanted me, she would have eaten me and you damn well know it.” Aemond cut her off, watching her jaw click shut with a curl of satisfaction. “Vhagar chose me, not your sister. What? You want to kill me to give her another chance at claiming her? Is that what you’re here? To finish the job that you all started?”

“Why would my mother’s dragon choose you?” Balea cried, and this time, there was a choked quality to her rage. Aemond’s eye widened slightly and he leaned back from her, a curl of uncertainty that he despised. His words had been harsh, full of the anger that he had felt simmering these past years. Aemond shrugged it off. He had earned his harshness in this. He’d been the one attacked, the band of them setting upon him simply because he chose to claim his right as a Valyrian prince.

‘Why would my mother’s dragon choose you?’

Aemond ran his tongue over his teeth and leaned back on his foot, watching Baela gasp for air amidst her choking sobs, and turn from him to look out to the bay, towards Driftmark and High Tide.

He remembered his mother’s cries, her rage, her such careful and elegant control snapping as her voice cracked in the silence of the Hall of Nine.

“He’s your son, Viserys.”

“Why did Moondancer choose you?” Aemond asked. “Why did Moondancer choose you, and my egg never hatched?” Baela did not look at him but he could see the way her shoulders tensed. “Why didn’t you go find the guards? Why did you come, thinking a thief had stolen a dragon and Jacaerys brought his blade? Why did they give me a pig, pretending they had found me a dragon as they both had their own? Why did they do nothing but terrorize me with that fact for our childhoods?” 

Aegon had done it too, gone in on the fun, drunk on being the eldest. It had lessened considerably in the wake of Rhaenyra leaving the capital, even if his brother sought other ways to tease him - he’d never again mentioned his lack of dragon.

Aegon had come to him in his sick bed, his curls shorn, red eyed and puffy faced, tears on his cheeks, had knelt at his bedside and vowed to him. 

“We protect our own and I did not protect you. I do not care if you’ve claimed Vhagar, for I was not there for you when you needed me. It will never happen again. I will protect you. I will be by your side.”

Aemond had sometimes wondered how much of the words were his brother’s own, but he had known, with certainty, that the feelings were genuine. His brother was an idiot, and they butted heads, but his brother loved him in his own way, and for as angry as Aegon could make him, he loved him too. In his own way. 

He might admit that on his deathbed, unlike Aegon, who would only need to be in the depths of his cups and into the sad and tearful mourning edge.

“What do you know, Baela?” Aemond said, his voice even, coldness creeping along the edges. “Of fighting and scraping for everything that is owed to you?” He forcefully bit his tongue, copper exploding in his mouth as he broke skin, to keep from pressing further at the loss of her birth right to Driftmark for Rhaenyra’s folly.

“A prince has to scrape for all that is owed to him.” It was rhetorical, biting, and Aemond snorted, taking a step forward, his own gaze looking out at the water.

“You may have been an idiot child, but don’t play me for a fool.” It was impossible not to see how little Viserys thought of his second family, and he had seen it plainly on Jacaerys’ face, the surprise in witnessing it. “I’m sure your father relishes every word you send to him. His little spy.”

Baela’s lip curled in a snarl and she stalked closer. Aemond stayed where he was, watching her with a narrowed eye as Vhagar let out a low growl behind him. She did not move, did not lift her head, but her nostrils flared and Aemond felt the heat of her breath swirl around him. Baela’s eyes widened, and she paused, the indigo of them shining with tears. 

He turned his head slightly to look at Vhagar. “Ȳgha iksi,” he reassured her, feeling Vhagar’s displeasure seeping through him, her warning and the remembered rage from those years ago when she could not protect him or take away his pain. He reached for her snout, pressing his hand to the scar above her left nostril, rubbing against it. He turned his back to his cousin and brought his other hand up, feeling the anger hot as coals, hot as dragonfire in his chest. Vhagar was full of tension. He could feel it. Would she feel that way if it wasn’t him? If she was not so worried for him, would she recognize the girl behind him as the child that Laena Velaryon surely brought to her, as Aemond would have brought his own child? Had his grandfather, Baelon, brought his sons to this dragon before them?

The silence filled the air around them, the wind thick with tension. Aemond pressed his forehead to Vhagar, took strength from her, squeezed his eye shut and ignored the pain that lanced through his head and pulsed behind his scar.

The sob behind him was soft, and Moondancer’s cry was mournful.

“He’s your son, Viserys.”

“I did not mean to tarnish your mother’s memory,” Aemond finally spoke, his voice carrying as he looked, blind side towards Baela. “It was not done to hurt you, or to take something from you. It was… It was my only chance. And it’s something I don’t think you’ll ever be able to understand. I am… I am sorry about the loss of your mother. I did not have the opportunity to give you my condolences then, but I can give them to you now.”

The sound Baela made was strangled. Aemond turned to look at her. Baela was stiff beneath her red and black riding leathers, the metal rings in her hair tinkling as the wind tugged at her braids. He recalled the mourning child she had been sitting by her twin and Jace, the vicious yell she’d let out when she punched him in the nose that night, the howls and scream of pain. He felt Vhagar twitch and groan beneath his touch, another warning and he hushed her again, stroking her snout. He watched her gaze go towards Moondancer, who was crying fitfully, grounded still, her aquamarine wings more green against the lush grass of the clifftop.

“Do you want to pet her?”

Baela stared at him, the hostile lines to her face instantly slacking in surprise. “Skoro syt?” Her voice was small and wary, even as her eyes were wide with grief.

“My condolences,” Aemond repeated, and he found the words genuine. It was not Baela, nor her sister, or even his bastard nephews that rankled him. Oh, he wanted his revenge, He wanted what was due, but more of the blame lay with his eldest sister and their father. Of that, Aemond was secure in. He would gladly feed them both to Vhagar, to take an eye as payment for his mother.

His cousin shifted on her booted feet before whatever compelled her brought her forward. Aemond shifted, beckoning her to take her place by his side as he murmured words to Vhagar. Baela had taken her glove off, her slim, tanned hand reaching tentatively up before resting along the scar on Vhagar’s nostril.

They stood there for how long, Aemond was not sure, quietly beside one another as Baela grieved for the mother at the bottom of the Narrow Sea, and his own grief at what was taken from him.

“Do not mourn me, mother…”

‘But mourn the boy dead on Driftmark.’

It was not lightness or peace that settled over Aemond when he and his cousin parted later. He was not certain how much time had passed, only that after she had sobbed, they sat there in a strange, companionable silence eating hunks of bread and cheese and apple that Baela cut with a wicked blade. She did not give him thanks, she did not say anything, but Aemond took the offering of shared food as her own gesture of whatever truce was settled between them. The exchanged curt nods before parting, Baela northeast and away from the city to what Aemond assumed was High Tide and her grandmother and twin, while he circled back towards the city.

Aemond was not certain of the feeling he held except that it felt like he had scratched something out on a list, or deposited a burden that he was trying to carry with all his other, more cumbersome burdens. It was a closed door. That was enough for Aemond, and there was a part of him that wanted to march to his sisters and tell them that he had made nice, to have Abby’s warm smile proud with him, and Helaena’s little clap and promptly being the receiver of her latest mountain spider that Uncle Rodrik had brought her.

Instead, after entering the inner courtyard of the Red Keep and handing off his horse to one of the stablehands, he made his way to the gardens and to his own preferred solitude when the library - so recently desecrated - was not an option. No, Aemond needed air, he needed the statue of Visenya to look down upon him. There, where Helaena had snipped the strings and released him from the vow he had made, the goal that held him that was more about him than it truly was about her. 

Where his sister had set him free, and he loved her all the more for it.

The problem, he found, upon striding down the paved path and through the dripping ivy, was that his garden was not, in fact, as empty as he hoped. Wylla Karstark was kneeled in front of a bush of hyacinths, carefully cutting the purple blooms and placing them in a basket beside her. She was clad in a dove gray dress, the black fabric of her kirtle beneath poking out through slashes along her shoulders and puffed at her elbows. Her fox features were pinched in concentration and Aemond watched her for a moment, silent as she had clearly not heard his approach.

Wylla Karstark was an unknown. She was pretty enough, with a long nose and sharp jaw, gray eyes that flashed when she was annoyed, which was the majority of the time. She had a rather frustrating talent of being able to look down at him even as she had to arch her neck, for she was as petite as Abby was. Their joint misfortune, just like Aegon’s. She was also well read, their conversation at the feast turning from a mutual annoyance to discussing the book of poetry that he had seen her reading, which itself had turned into a rather long and in depth conversation on the Valyrian poet, Praxilla, whose work had survived by the grace of her living the life of leisure in Lys when the Doom happened. Wylla and his elder brother unknowingly shared a fondness for drinking songs penned by the scribe, although Aemond was smart enough to know he shouldn’t bring that up.

Not until he needed to.

“It is polite to speak when coming upon someone, Your Grace,” Wylla’s northern burr was arch as she focused on her task. “I would curtsy, but you can see I’m already on my knees.”

Aemond’s cheeks flushed at the turn of her words, and he was not certain if she understood how they could be taken. He decided that she didn’t, for she did not turn to look at him, seemingly unbothered. All for the best, he supposed, for Aemond did not think he could meet her gaze should she be facing him.

“Why are you cutting my flowers?”

“Your flowers, Your Grace?” Wylla laughed, a sharp, lilting sort of sound and he wondered if that’s what she sounded like when she sang. Did she sing? He had not asked her. “These flowers belong to Queen Visenya, for it is her garden, is it not?”

“It is my garden,” he pushed back, frowning at the back of her head, the mass of thick, twisted black braids kept in place with a woven, pearl hair net with wicked looking, pearl tipped hair pins to keep the heaviness of it in place. He flexed his hands, wiping them on his riding leathers as he approached. There were other flowers in her basket, like wisteria and some of the roses from the main garden. He sat, bending his one leg to rest an arm on while the other reached in.

Up close, he could see the red flush to her pale cheeks. He did not recall them looking so red when he saw her the day before, outside of the bit of sun all the girls had gotten during the sun.

Her smack was quick, the sound of flesh stinging flesh loud and he immediately pulled back with a hiss and a glare. “How dare-”

“Those aren’t for you,” Wylla said forcefully, the gray eyes of her bright in her face as she finally looked at him. “They’re for Lady Abrogail.”

Aemond had killed a man for the fox-faced woman before him without hesitation, and the knowledge of it settled in him still, generally buried over the past few weeks because he had no idea what to do about it. They’d been attacked in the night, and Wylla Karstark had shoved a knife between the man’s ribs without hesitation. So tall, Wylla Karstark seemed, so loud, filling up the spaces she was in without holding herself back, that he had so often forgotten how small she was.

Until she was there, in front of him, those gray eyes like the storm ridden ocean.

Aemond held her gaze, reaching back into the basket to pluck one of the deep purple, nearly blue anemones that she had gathered, twirling it idly between his long fingers before reaching up to tuck it behind her ear. Wylla was still beside him, her red painted mouth parted slightly, so he could see the flash of her white teeth behind it. Her cheeks deepend in their red to match the paint on her lips and Aemon hummed. 

Abby had been understandably shaken. Knowing her as long as he did, even with the smiles affixed to her face, he knew the signs as intimately as he understood Helaena’s or Aegon’s, or his own mother’s. Wylla Karstark was a mystery. She had been quiet, from what he had seen, but the wedding preparations had taken up much time with the girls, as well as her brother finally leaving the capital earlier that week.

He clenched his jaw, a muscle ticking, before he met her gaze. “Are you alright?”

Her inhale was loud. It trembled and she pressed her red lips together, her throat bobbing with a swallow and looked back at the flowers but did not move to cut anymore. Aemond did not push her, but only waited.

“Yes? No? Strangely yes,” she finally whispered. “I think that’s what bothers me more.”

“That bastard came in with intent to harm,” Aemond said. “If you didn’t kill him, someone else would have. You were incredibly brave.” None knew  where he’d come from. The assailant had been clad in the same red garb as the rest of the servants. A baseborn man. Waters or Storm, Aemond couldn’t remember, much like he had no memory of the man’s face before he stared down at it, red and wheezing before he killed him.

“At least it wasn’t Aegon,” Wylla whispered, her eyes wide, drawing his attention back to her. “What would have that turned into - him sneaking in for them to slobber all over each other. Me thinking he was an attacker and-”

The snort of laughter that escaped Aemond at the idea of it all could not be held back. He bent his head, gasping for air as his shoulders shook and it was only a moment before Wylla’s own peel of laughter joined his. It had been some weeks since he’d laughed, in the wake of what happened at the hunt drying up what little humor he’d indulged in. There was an infectious quality to Wylla Karstark’s amusement that he found comforting. Aemond looked at her, her face flushed from her laughter, and he leaned in, kissing her.

The laughter abruptly stopped, her mouth soft against his, still from her clear surprise. She tasted like oranges. Abby must have indulged in the sweet and sour orange cakes they had at the feast. Wylla did not respond, but she didn’t move away either and Aemond took that as acceptance, and he lifted his hand to cup her cheek, thumb swiping softly against the apple of it. Kisses with Helaena had been different - always expected, always ready, with her initiating many of them. The one time he’d kissed Abby, when they were little and Jace had dared him to, did not count. The both of them had made faces, vowing to never do it again. 

Kissing Wylla, though? He never wanted to stop, especially not when she reached up, the clippers making a soft thump along the grass to wrap around the end of the braid slung over his shoulder. She tugged it gently and Aemond broke away, blinking and gasping. “What?” he asked. “Should I have not done that?”

“Oh, you should have,” she reassured him, breathless and red faced. She licked her lips and looked at her fingers still wound around his braid, toying with the leather tie. “I was just reminded of something someone told me once.”

He cocked his head, mouth pursed. “What was it?”

The smile that cut across Wylla’s face was amused, the scar along the top of her lip giving a mischievous bend to her small, red mouth. “It was about how dragons purr when you pull their hair.”

Whatever thought started to coalesce about her late night conversation with his sisters was pushed right out when her lips found his.

I would love to hear your thoughts! Even if it's just a keyboard smash! Reblog to spread a story around so others may find it! I would love to hear your theories! What did you love? What are you looking forward to? Happy to have you here as always <3

[Next Chapter]

[equallyshaw]

little lion | Luke hughes au! ↠ when luke and liona meet. - fic. ↠ au Masterlist!

warning: underage drinking. word count: 1.4k+

if her father knew whose highrise she was at, and what she was doing- he'd kill her. no, scratch that. he'd ship her to russia, have her grandmother lock her in the basement and never see the light of day ever again. to be frank, liona didn't even know how she ended up here to be quite honest. her and her group of friends since highschool had been invited to a party in newark at an off campus house and then the next thing she knew they were here, after getting a 'better invite'. her and her best friend rain, stood in the corner waiting for gavin and chris to come back with drinks for them. they saw them emerging from the kitchen, and liona sighed. "i cant believe chris scored an invite to a new jersey devils place!" rain whispered yelled and liona smirked. chris handed her a red solo cup, and gavin gave rain one. chris wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulder, and sipped some of his liquid.

gavin and rain began to talk about whatever was happening at law school, while chris and liona just listened. they had no knowledge or the logistics of their degrees, so they just took in all of it as well as the drama. the two ended up rambling on their own while chris and liona looked at one another, before laughing. "you going to see andrei soon?" chris questioned, and kailey shrugged. "i don't know, my dad wants me to come home to visit and offered the Carolina game but i don't know." she said finishing her cup. "im getting another one." she said raising it a bit, and chris nodded. "if you're not back in 5 minutes, im coming and finding you!" he announced and she nodded with a small smile. she weaved in and out of some people, finding her way to the kitchen. she set her sights on a seltzer that was in the open bowl of ice, and snatched it quickly. "is that the last cherry?" she heard to her right, and she looked through the other ones before turning to the person.

she turned to the right seeing a tall boy, brunette curly hair and hazel eyes. she swallowed before speaking, "uh there's no-no more." she stuttered pulling some hair behind her ear. he nodded, "can you hand me a random one then?" he questioned and she nodded enthusiastically and grabbed him a random one. "thanks-" he waited for her to fill in, "uh liona." she responded holding her hand out, he took it softly "luke." he responded, and they let go of eachother's hand. "do you know dawson?" he questioned and her eyebrows crinkling gave him her answer. "who?" she questioned and he chuckled softly. "my teammate, who are you here with?" he questioned. "you play hockey?" she asked softly and he nodded. oh fuck, she thought. "um im best friends with chris." she said and luke made a face of recognition. "i know who that is, he's pretty cool." he said and she smiled widely. "oh yeah definitely wouldn't have kept him around all these years if he wasn't." she tried to joke but it fell flat. she looked at the ground before both of them tried to speak at the same time, "do you wanna-?" and "im gonna go." the two of them blushed and chuckled softly. "would you wanna go somewhere and talk?" he questioned, and she looked back towards her friend group. "ummm.." she trailed off turning back to look at luke. "we don't have to, was just curious!" he said and she shook her head. "id like that, i just need to go tell my friends." she said pointing behind her. he nodded and followed her back into the living room. "hey guys im gonna go -" chris cut her off by greeting luke, and doing a bro hug with each other. gavin also bro hugged him, with rain and luke getting introduced to one another. "were gonna go talk for a bit, ill let you know when im ready to go?" kailey confirmed, and gavin pushed her playfully while chris just nodded. the two walked off towards the small movie room that dawson had.

_

next thing they knew, it was 2 in the morning and the two of them had been talking for a few hours at this point. then she dropped a bomb on him, "you're dad is the alex ovechkin?" he asked eyes wide and wonder lighting up his face. she nodded softly, "ye-yeah." she said shrugging while looking down at her converse. "oh well, that's really neat! you said your parents are not together right? was the schedule too much and stuff?" he asked and she shook her head, "no uh, once she found out she was pregnant with me..they had already broken up and he ended up fleeing back to europe before getting some sense knocked into him. but they used to fight like cats and dogs, some of my earliest memories typically ended up in a fight. so yeah, they couldn't get along longer than a few hours." she hummed, biting her lip nervously. he nodded, "im sorry kai- i mean liona." he stuttered and the way he said her middle name, was heaven. "y'know nobody has ever called me just kai before...but i liked it." she hummed while her cheeks became even rosier. "kai, huh?" he questioned with a glint in his eye, as he grinned. she nodded, "liona kai ovechkin...a mouthful." she hummed shrugging. "its perfect." he responded. "my dad though just says lion or little lion, because apparently im the forthcoming of him or i guess the second coming..." she trailed off with her eyebrows creasing in deep thought. luke found it all quite adorable.

"lion..lioness... definitely suits you." he mused and she snickered. "well if you'd like i can give you permission to call me kai." she teased and his head cocked to the side a tad bit. the two were sitting next to each other on the couch, knees only a mere inch apart. both of them looked over at one another, and luke was debating if he should do what he wanted to do. and that was kissing her. while liona was telling herself he did not like her, he was just being nice.

luke began to lean in and a his left hand quickly found her chin, pulling her softly closer as he stopped a few inches from it. his gaze had been focused on her pink lips, and now they were gazing in to her brown eyes. almost as if to ask if it was ok. she nodded softly once, and his lips were on hers. his right hand came up to her cheek, as she pulled him in a bit by the neck. but luke being the gentleman that he was (because queen ellen raised him right) he did not go any further. they pulled apart, chests heaving a bit as their foreheads rested against each other's. liona was about to lean in again but he pulled his face away by a few inches, and he could see how much that hurt the girl. she stood up, pulled down her shirt a bit by smoothing it and cleared her throat.

"kai-" he said but she put her hand up, not meeting his gaze yet. she shook her head, "its fine. i totally get it, i don't know what i was thinking there for a second." she paused ruffling up her hair a bit, and looked up at him. "its fine, im not sure any guys would want to be with me anyways. so its fine, luke." she rambled before spinning on her heel, and heading out to find her friends. the group had dissipated just a bit. chris was the first one to recognize her from the small group he was in, and quickly made his way over. once he reached her, he saw tear in her eyes. his face and tone in full protection mode, "what happened?" he asked checking her body for any brusies or cuts. she shook her head, "id just like to leave." she said as her voice cracked. he nodded profusely, wrapping an arm around her back and leading her out of the highrise.

not without luke seeing the whole scene play out, and his heart breaking just a bit as they left with his arm around her.

oh lukey... will be doing a follow up to this (:

please like and reblog if you liked!

tags: @cuttergauthier

[komohine]

How are sheith shippers fetishizing gay men. Are you delusional? Misinformed? Lacking IQ?

Keith is not Asian btw, While we're at it, please prove to me all the damage sheith has done to the gay Asian male community.

Ok considering i have sheith shippers/defenders dni in my intro post and I really dont feel like wasting my time today ill try to keep it short and wont be responding to shit like this down the line. Next time save your breath though. Because idk if you knew this but dni stands for Do Not Interact. You are interacting. Stop that.

1) they’re brothers. Sure it’s revealed much later in the seasons, but the point is they have an incredibly strong familial relationship. If you started off shipping sheith when they weren’t explicitly defined as brothers, fine. But after their familial relationship is revealed the choice to continue shipping those two specifically comes off as strange as hell. Even stranger when you consider the multiple other available male characters that are not only more age appropriate but also dont have a familial relationship with them lmao. Also Shiro canonically gets married to a man. So the choice to continue shipping sheith has to go beyond just wanting to guys to kiss. The next common denominator? They’re both asian, so I must conclude that the need to ship them comes from that. The next next common denominator is that they’re related and some of you just have a thing for incest. But i still have faith in humanity so i wont accuse you of that even though i occasionally feel the urge to. I refuse to take “but but they have the most in show relationship development” as a reason because that just means you’re too fucking lazy to think of your own scenarios. Which is not true, because the amount of devious ass sheith shit I unfortunately stumble across means your collective neurons are actively firing away. Just for the wrong thing. You guys really saw the only real developed relationship (i use this word generally and not strictly romantically) between two guys in the show and decided that it must have romantic undertones. Beyond how its harmful to irl men and deters them from emotional maturity out of fear that any non toxic relationship between two men is automatically seen as romantic by some people, it’s just fundamentally mid yaoi because you guys cant fathom that 1) romance isn’t a core part of the show beyond allurance 2) that two guys can talk to eachother while smiling without wanting to fuck. Yall are in the same league as those guys who are addicted to step sister p0rn.

1.5) bcs i know someones gonna ask “why do you think sheith is incest”, its because shiro fulfills the kinship role of “sibling” for keith, or even “parent”. From here-on out simplified as “guardian”. Within anthropology there are numerous kinship systems which determine which family member is called what. Ex. In the hawaiian system, every male family member is called “father” and every female “mother”. No matter if they birthed you or not. In the linear (also known as esk/mo but that’s a word with heavy history) system, your parents are “mom/dad”, siblings are defined as “brother/sister”, and everyone else is “aunt/uncle” or “cousin”. This is the system commonly used in the west. Kinship systems define a lot of things, from inheritance to respect hierarchies. Another key thing they determine is incest taboo. The range of which this taboo applies differs depending on culture, which is why you’ll hear of two people, for example, cousins getting married. In the west that’s considered taboo, but it may not be in another culture. Kinship and its taboos also apply to non blood related relationships. Hence adoptive siblings, etc. And keith quite explicitly refers to shiro as his brother. Given the context of those scenes, it can be deduced that it’s not said in a way that is 1) casual, as the lingo would more likely be “sup bro” or the tone of voice would be significantly more casual, 2) indicative of anything other than a familial relationship, for if keith considered him a brother in arms he would’ve said something more along the lines up “on your feet, brother”. Keith saying “you’re like my brother” AND THEN DOUBLING DOWN TO “You’re my brother,” said in such a sincere tone of voice leaves little to be debated.

Tldr: Shiro fulfills a guardian kinship role for Keith and thus the incest taboo applies to him.

1.6) also like? It’d be weird either way. Going by their canon age diff (season 1, 25-18 = SEVEN YEARS), and considering shiro met keith in middle school, and going by the oldest middle school age (15) bcs im feeling generous, shiro wouldve still been 22. If they just met once and never again till seasom 1, fine. Ship sheith however you want. But the fact is they met and then they formed a bond when shiro was significantly older and in a position of power over keith. Shiro was a mentor and guardian to keith whether you like it or not, and he stayed that way from when keith was young and impressionable until he was an adult. Yk what thats called? Raising a child. Imagine shipping that. Crazy. Imagine a 9 year old being raised by a 17 year old babysitter bcs of his absent parents. Suddenly when the 9 year old turns 18 he starts dating his babysitter. Thats freaky as hell, and i only increased the age gap by 2 years. Literally nothing else changed.

2) now why would they include a non aapi character in the mash up? Also, his source character from the og voltron is named “Keith Akira Kogane”. What non asian person is named that?

3) also the fact you need me to show you damage.. same vibe as “wdym he’s stalking you he’s just being friendly!! Show me how his so called stalking has put your life in danger”. Like imagine needing actual damage before even considering something bad.

[vibratingskull]

Hello hello! happy new year 🎊🎊🎊!!! I was just wondering if you could do a part two to the stranded fic you wrote for Thrawn (totally optional ofc ignore this if you want‼️‼️‼️) I think it would be interesting to see the aftermath of their relationship like are they rescued or not? If they're not do they just say fuck it let's start a family? If so do they eventually get discovered by the rebels/empire (sort of like the plot for Ahsoka ig???) And they're like yo look at me and my family haha fuck y'all I'm not going back to civil society I love my partner and our children! (If you can't tell I have been thinking about this situation for ages it's making me go crazy with the possibilities) Your fics feed my soul tbh I'd actually die for your writing I go feral when you update the JC series or just post something in general 💞💞💞 (idk how to end this lmao I barely request stuff LMAOOOO idk if I'm even doing it right 😭) (also feel free to make it as horny as you want you can literally make it the sexiest of smut or just make it completely cute and tooth rottingly sweet!!!!!) (Again ignore this if it's something you're not interested in or if it breaks a rule or something!!!!!!)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw thank you love ❤️Happy new year to you too❤️Thank you for your support, my dear. I hope you will love this one too❤️

Part 1

ThrawnxF!reader

Tag : Non descriptive birth, cunni, P in V, creampie

You open your eyes, your face bathing in a ray of sun. It is already quite hot outside, but the hut retains the freshness of the night quite well. You rise in a seating position, on your mattress of hay and palm tree leaves in a sheet of linen. Next to you Thrawn’s spot is cold already, he must be awake for some time now. You wince as your baby hits your tummy.

“I’m sorry darling, you must be hungry.” You gently caress your swollen stomach. “I will find something for us to eat.”

You stand up on your feet, a little bit unbalanced by your pregnant stomach and head for the main place. You wave at your neighbors that go around their business, greeting you in return.

A month after escaping the cannibal village you crossed paths with another alien species, beings you can at best described as frog people with their globulous eyes and slimy greenish skin, but full of kindness and a strong community sense. They welcomed you in their village, feeded you and soothed your wounds, and contrary to the cannibal village Thrawn did not detect any ill intent or habits in their art. He analyzed that they were former peaceful wanderers of the universe that crashed on the planet like you did millennia ago. In fact, the village is right next to the destroyed carcass of the ship that brought them here, the survivor took everything useful from the ship and built a new community.

They now speak a bastardization of Basic, permitting you to communicate with them quite well, even if there are still some mishaps here and there. You came to discover the cannibals took them regularly for preys and they had the greatest difficulties at repelling them, their former peaceful ways led to a more armed culture but they are still not efficient soldiers. That’s when Thrawn intervened. He trained with their warriors to get used to their different weapons and tactics and convinced the chiefs to let him lead their warriors on the next attack. 

And he did.

Successfully. 

For the first time in the millenia of conflict between the two species the frog people didn’t lose any lives or children to the cannibals. The party that followed that night was grandiose and flashy, the frog people warmly thanked Thrawn and offered you both to stay at the village.  

You accepted, given they weren’t murderous cannibals. Thrawn pondered the question longer, still focused on the possibility of finding a way to come back to the Empire.

There wasn’t.

The frog people spreaded all around the globe of that planet and established colonies on all the continents and kept a tight diplomatic bond between each colony. The chiefs proposed you remain in the village to relax for while they sent messages to the other colonies to ask them. You have been in the village for some weeks now but Thrawn decided he would go to meet the other colony and have the chance to ask for himself. And you would not let his politically incompetent ass go anywhere alone unless you wanted him to create chaos, so you decided to go with him. But the morning of your departure you started puking and couldn’t walk without feeling weak so Thrawn carried you bridal style to the healer of the tribe, deciding to postpone his travel until you knew what was going on.

And you didn’t have to wait long.

After examining your body and checking your hormonal balance with some reactives plants the healer determined that you were pregnant! You had a moment of silence, brain frozen, taking in the news and asked for other tests to be conducted immediately, she obliged, and ended up with the same results. Thrawn wasn’t in the hut, politely waiting outside while she examined your body.

You were at a loss of words. A multitude of contradicting emotions raging in your brain and heart.

You were pregnant? Chiss and humans are compatible?

How would Thrawn react? How should YOU react? It was one thing to share a night of passion with your enemy turned ally while you were stranded, carrying his child and heir was a complete other matter!The healer noticed your clear lack of enthusiasm and asked if you wanted to terminate the pregnancy now.

You had no words. Should you do it? Should you not? How would your comrades react at the sight of you bearing the child of the Grand Admiral Thrawn?

Should you even tell him? If you took the preparation she was handing you and terminated the pregnancy in its early stage, was it even worth informing Thrawn?

You decided that yes.

It was.

You called for him and he entered the hut, kneeling down next to you he gently put a strand of hair out of your face with his fingers in a reassuring gesture. You smiled at him gently and warned him to stay seated for the news. He turned to the healer, squinting his eyes in concentration and maybe some worry.

“Is it a dangerous illness?” He asked, “Is her life at risk?”

“Her life is at risk, but not by an illness. This is simply the circle of life.”

He tilted his head, clearly not understanding the healer's words. You took his hand and squeezed it, looking at him in the eyes.

“Thrawn…” You started, deadly serious, “I am pregnant.”

He fully turned to you in complete silence, his eyes barely rounding up in surprise, his control remaining total. Will you one day be able to surprise this man?

He remained mute for a full minute, eyes fixed in yours, before opening his mouth.

“Do you want this child?” Was his only question, his only worry.

“I… Do not know.” You confessed. “What if we find a way to go home?”

“I would not impose you to follow me in the Empire’s ranks.”

“Then could I deprive this child of their father? Could I tell them their parents are mortal enemies?”

“Maybe you could send them to me.” He proposed.

“And have them in the Imperial system? Out of the question! My child will not be an imperial pawn!” You exclaimed resolutely.

“I could send them to the Ascendancy.” He proposed again.

You pondered that possibility. You live a dangerous life made of battles and combats, constantly on the run. Thrawn has more stability, but you will not make your child and Imperial citizen, they will be free and nothing else. Sending them to the Ascendancy, to Thrawn original worlds however… might be their best chances. He talked to you about it for long hours, revealing to you his memories, maybe… Maybe this is the best you could offer that child.

Of course it would mean being separated from your own flesh and blood, but the life you would give them isn’t a life for a child.

“That’s a good idea.” You finally nod. “It would be a more stable environment for them.”

Thrawn squeezed your hand approvingly in response

“But do you even want this child?” You raise your head to him, “We never talked about it. We don’t even know what we are.”

Since that night you shared, you didn’t leave each other's side, living, sleeping, bathing together, just spending the days hand in hand. But you are not in a regular situation, is a relationship started in such extreme conditions as of a crash a stable basis for a healthy couple? Do the standard relationships apply to you? So far away from all laws and civilization do putting a label on your situation even make sense?

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You are the one carrying the embryo, you have the final word. But if you ask me : yes. I want that child.”

But you are still unsure. Are you ready to be a mom? Delivery in those conditions could be incredibly dangerous for you and the baby, what about infections, complications? The frog people kept some techniques and technology from when they still traveled the universe but a lot of machinery simply died for lack of energy source or repair pieces. Could you give birth away from the comfort and security offered by a hospital?

The healer took the powder and poured it in an envelope that she handed to Thrawn.

“Take the time to think about it.” She simply said, giving you a bay to eat to help with nausea.

You exited the little hut in silence, the envelope pressed against your chest. Thrawn circled your shoulders with his arm.

“We need to talk.” He said very seriously, “Let’s put you to bed, first.”

He guided you to your hut and helped you lay down, putting the traveling gear in one corner of the room.

“I am sorry.” You breathed, “I’m slowing you down.”

“No need for excuses. You are forgiven.” He responded by coming back to you, kneeling at your side.

He put his hand on your forehead to take your temperature very delicately.

“Are you comfortable?” 

You nod, the nausea slowly subsiding. He remains silent for a long moment, only caressing your forehead, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. But he is never lost, merely reorganizing his brain like a computer.

“What?” you asked with a little voice.

“Nothing.” He said.

“You are fixing me so intently.”

“I am simply thinking, I thought about what you said: “We don’t even know what we are”.”

You purse your lips. It’s true you said that.

You were content about what you had all this time but the prospect of a child put everything into perspective and demanded clarifications.

“I am not wrong. We never really discussed about us, just lived in the present moment.” you argue.

“You are right, it was not a criticism.” He tampers with his deep melodious voice, “Were you happy during those times?”

“Yes.” you confess.

“Me too.” he admits too, “Do you envision yourself pursuing this relationship seriously?”

“I… Is this what you want? We talked about keeping seeing each other and all that, but… Does being a couple make any sense here? Does going official have any weight in our situation?”

“To me it does.” He tilted his head, “I want to be with you. Live with you, build a family with you.”

“And when we get rescued?” You ask, “You didn’t renounce that possibility. What then? We go our merry way, tearing the family apart?”

“I am afraid we will be blocked here for some time.” He responded, “If we ever get rescued.”

You frowned.

“You think there is a risk we stay stranded here?”

“This is a possibility to keep in mind.” He ominously said

You sighed, suddenly exhausted. You closed your eyes, trying to clear your mind.

“Do not take the medicine, please.” You suddenly heard him murmuring so low you almost doubted you heard him.

You reopen your eyes to look at him interrogatively.

“I want this baby. I want to be a father. I want to live with you and see our children grow. Leave me a chance to prove to you I am worth it.” He said, looking into your gaze with sparkly eyes.

His tone was assured and affirmative but you saw so much hope in those red eyes, all the dreams he had to leave behind when he became a Grand Admiral, he could live them here. He could restart anew, fresh,  become the man he dreamed to be deep inside himself.

You raised in a seating position with a grumble.

“I do not doubt your worth, nor your capacities to be a father, but… There is so much uncertainty, so much fog… I cannot take that decision carelessly.”

“I understand your doubts and difficult position. And whatever you do, I will respect your choice. But, if I may tell you my opinion, again, please do not take the medicine. I will be here for you and the child, I want us to live all together. As a family”

“I will think about it…” You clench your fist around the envelope.

“Of course, Cha’cah.” He leaned forward to capture your lips in an infinitely soft kiss that you would have never believed him capable of, “The final choice is yours only.”

He caressed your cheek, kissed your forehead and left you alone to nap and gather energy.

You didn’t sleep, a headache threatened you all day long. And as usual, when night came you felt his arms wrapping around your form, tighter this night. You were pressed against his broad chest, his warm body, shielding you from the rest of the world.

You never took the medicine.

You pondered it during long weeks before one day standing still in front of Thrawn and handing him the envelope.

“Get rid of it.” you simply said.

He looked at the envelope, squinting, before grasping your arm and pulling you in a tight hug.

“Thank you.” He murmured, nose buried in your hair.

And that is how you ended up giving birth to your daughter. A healthy little girl in a rush to come into the world.

You woke up in the middle of the night like someone stabbed your womb before realizing your waters broke. Thrawn, awakened in a flash, helped you to the healer and she woke up all the women of the village, all came in the middle of the night to help. A birth is a matter of the entire community here.

They helped you to get rid of your tight clothes and enter a bath, trying to help you relax and relieve any tension. Thrawn was pushed outside the hut unceremoniously at first, “it is a women’s affair only.” They said to him, you don’t know what he responded but he was finally authorized to stay after a back and forth. He came to your side and took your hand, circling your shaking shoulders with his long arm.

“You got this, Cha’cah. I know you can do it.” He praised and supported you.

He talked to you during the whole process, taking your mind off the pain, kissing your temple, squeezing your hand.

Until finally, you heard her first scream.

She was as blue as him, with the same red eyes, but she inherited your hair. You immediately took her in your arms, still shaking and full of sweat but so relieved and happy.

Your little baby.

Your daughter.

Thrawn cut the umbilical cord with the fang dagger he gave you and came to your side to admire his daughter, delicately caressing her head still full of blood.

“She looks like you.” You say out of breath and the heart spilling love.

“Indeed. But she has your features. She will be as beautiful as you.”

He hugged you both like you could vanish at any second.

“Welcome to the world, little one. I love you so much.” He murmured, taking her in his large hands.

“What should we call her?” You ask. “We should pick a Chiss name.”

He looked at you with a hint of surprise and gratitude.

“What do you think of… Thaishi?” He proposed with a thin smile, eyes fixated on the baby.

“Taishi… Little Thaishi.” You make the name roll on your tongue, “I like it a lot.”

“Welcome Thaishi. My daughter.” He let out still incredulous, but the love and warmth was unmistakable in his voice. He immediately initiated skin-to-skin contact, trying to appease your daughter’s cries before the healer took her to examine her.

It was four years ago.

Thaishi speaks and sprints everywhere now, she is unstoppable, making you run after her all day long under Thrawn’s amused loving gaze. 

She is already at the buffet this morning when you arrive at the center of the village. The frog people cook for the community and not for individuals, hunt together, fish together, gather together and they eat all together. But today is not your day to cook so you slept late.

You caress Thaishi’s head who doesn’t even take the time to sit with others to eat, she just picks what she wants and eats it immediately. She looks up to you with her mouth full, making her look like a hamster.

“Go sit with the kids, little terror.” You kiss her forehead.

She picks up three other fruits and runs to the kiddos and sits with them.

“(Y/n), we could have brought the food to your hut!” The lady in charge of the cooks today chastises you.

“No, it’s better if I come to eat with everyone.” You respond with an appeasing smile, “Did you see Thrawn this morning?”

“He was out hunting with the youngs early, they should… Ah! Talk about the wolf!”

You spin on yourself, your plate in hand, to see the hunters entering the village with their games. Thrawn stands out with his deep blue skin against their green ones, you notice him immediately. Everyone comes to them to inspect the meat and congratulate the hunters.

“How is my wife this morning?” Thrawn asks, pulling you in his arms immediately.

You giggle as he presses you against his large body, your pregnant belly in the way. He leans forward to kiss you tenderly and then kneels to caresses your belly with enamored red eyes.

You feel your baby giving a kick against his palm.

“They are full of energy.” He notes satisfied.

“Thaishi is too! I have trouble containing her sometimes.”

“Thaishi, listen to your mother.” Thrawn takes his daughter's shoulder in his hand, “It is important to obey adults, young one. We do it for your protection.”

“But I can’t help it, I want to run and jump everywhere!” She responds with her mouth full.

“Young lady, your table manners are lacking. We need to correct them.” He boops her nose.

She gulps her bite down and smiles at him with all her teeth.

“Go play, we will study Cheuhn later.” He smoothes her hair and pushes her gently towards the kids.

You both look at her running again to her comrades, the only blue skin and red eyes in the green and globulous eyes. 

You sigh, the heart so full of love it could explode any minute now, when you feel Thrawn arms circling your shoulders.

“She’s four already.” You let out.

“Yes. She is growing quickly.”

“I feel like I gave birth to her yesterday and now look at her… Running all over without losing her balance. Maker… Tomorrow she will be a fully grown adult.”

“She will not, do not worry. She will remain our little lady whatever happens.”

You glance at him with a little grin.

“Are you becoming sentimental, Thrawn? What’s happening to my tough warrior?”

He chuckles lowly in response, amused.

“I have always been sentimental since she was a baby. Do not tell me you never noticed?”

“Oh I did notice! It was quite endearing to see you melt before her by the way! Seeing your facade cracking before your own baby…” You lay your head on his shoulder, caressing his cheek. “You have a good heart, Thrawn.”

“When it comes to you three, I always do.” He puts a hand on your tummy “What did the healer say yesterday?”

“They are growing quickly and well. I gained plenty of weight, my hormones are balanced and she didn’t notice anything wrong.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t have the correct equipment, so much could escape her.” He argues, suddenly frowning.

“Thrawn… Women have been giving birth here in those conditions for a millenia! So much they spread all over the continents, their death rate is really low. She knows her stuff.” You comfort him, holding his cheeks in your hands.

He slowly nod.

“You are right, as always.”

“I already gave birth, I can do it. I know I can.” You insist.

He kisses your palms delicately.

“I trust you, Cha’cah.”

“Good.” You raise on tiptoes to brush your nose with his. “Did you eat this morning?”

“I did, right before the hunt.” He squeezes your hand, “I will be on the ship if you need me.” 

He kisses your forehead and grabs and carries Thaishi on his shoulders making her scream laughing among the children. 

You go back with the others, sitting on your ankles, observing your husband and daughter as you eat your fruits. Your minds start wandering back to the night you wed Thrawn, you remember being in his arms, heavily pregnant with Thaishi, laying on your mattress. He was caressing your hair as your cheek was pressed against his chest, listening to his beating heart.

“We should get married.” He suddenly said in the dark of the night.

“Why?” you asked, yawning.

“We have a baby on the way. We should do it for them.”

“For them? Not because you’re so in love with me you could feel your heart explode?” You tease him with a light laugh.

“Do you doubt my love?”

“No Thrawn, I was simply joking. I do not doubt you.” You brush your cheek on the skin of his pec to reassure him.

Something you picked up on is Thrawn's low self esteem, or rather poor view of his own person. You realized it listening to him talk about his time in the Ascendancy, he measures his self worth though his capacity to serve and obey his people, completely ignoring his innate value as an individual being. He thinks of himself as a tool, a cog, in the great scheme of things. Just a usable asset to throw away once he has served his purpose. And maybe the most terrifying thing in this situation is that he was contented by this. To him he isn’t deserving of respect and love if he fails his duties. It is a completely normal situation to him, something he has internalized and never questioned.

So he didn’t understood you throwing yourself at him to hug him tight and reassuring him that you loved him. He stayed still, like frozen, listening to you declaring your love to him so suddenly he had nothing to say, maybe a bit shocked.

From this day on you took care to tell him everyday that you loved him, hugging and kissing him, showering him with your love, proving to him that whatever flaws he had or whatever failures he may have committed, he was worthy of unconditional love.

“I love you, (y/n). It is a fact that I cannot deny. When I realize you are in my presence, my heart tightens. When you speak, my heart seems to jump. When you are in my arms, it races. I daresay those symptoms point to love.”

“I know, my love.” You grazed your finger on his chest, “I love you all the same. I am truly at ease and relieved when you are at my side. I worry when I do not feel your presence.”

He took your hand to kiss your knuckles.

“I will not leave you. I am whole and appeased only with you.” 

You raised your head to kiss his jaw tenderly.

“I want to tie my legacy to yours, be a family.” He continues. 

You looked intently at his laying form silently.

“Because you miss yours?”

He remained silent and his gaze fixed on the ceiling seemed to harden.

“There is no need to hide it, love. It is natural to long for the presence of your family, whoever you are. It means you have a heart and a home to go back to.”

“I have a duty towards them. I will not go back to them until it is done.” He finally said with a hard tone.

It wasn’t directed against you, you knew it, it was simply a testimony of his resolution.

“So you truly want it?” You questioned gently.

“It would fill my heart with bliss if you bestowed yourself to me.” He confessed with a tone of  confidence, caressing your cheek.

“If you promise to love me for all eternity, I accept to be yours.” You said.

He kissed your knuckles again before putting your hand on his beating heart.

“For all eternity, Cha’cah. You have my word.”

You lowered yourself and kissed his lips gently, he responded lasciviously, deepening the kiss.

He stood up, helped you rise on your feet and you sneaked away in the night to the Chiefs hut like children who would have stolen a cookie jar. The chiefs performed the ceremony according to their traditions and you were married to Thrawn.

To your Grand Admiral.

And him to his Rebel.

You shared the decisive kiss with the chiefs benedictions and felt your heart tightening with love. He kissed your forehead tenderly while caressing your cheek and you hugged him tight.

Now, with you pregnant, your destinies were intertwined forever.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

You never told the rest of the community, they didn’t need to know. You were together and that is all that mattered.

But there was one dark stain on the canvas.

You made peace with the fact that you wouldn’t get rescued by now. That is also why you carried the pregnancy to term and accepted his hand in marriage. Because deep down you felt you would never get out of this isolated planet.

But Thrawn didn’t.

Thrawn keeps fighting everyday to go home. 

And you’re not sure how to feel about that.

Was it his loyalty to the Empire or his relentless devotion to the Ascendancy that pushed him so much? He refused to answer.

But coming back signifies saying goodbye. And that’s tearing your heart apart. When you realized he was tempering with the ship communication device to send messages to the Empire you badly reacted, you had your first real fight. He refused to stay arms dangling when his duties called for him and you refused to help go back to his murderous Empire.

In the end you remained a rebel and a Grand Admiral.

And it created the first cracks in your marriage.

A chance Thaishi was still a baby and couldn’t understand why her parents were arguing, but she did pick up on the bad vibes and your cracked voice and started crying. Before Thrawn could pick her up to console her, you took her, shouting he better get used to not seeing his family if he wanted to go back to the Empire so badly and ran off to the hut of friends and remained here for a full week.

You regretted those words. So badly. He never once raised his voice against you, remaining calm, but also so cold, so calculating, his determined gaze terrified you so you preferred to flee with your daughter.

He came to your friends’ hut everyday to see his child and everyday you refused, hugging her against your heart. You were so mad, so terrified, so… So betrayed! How could he dare do that to your family?

When you accepted to receive him, he sat down in front of you in silence, just observing his baby in your arms with a loving gaze.

But he was actively trying to tear his family apart and you couldn’t forgive him just yet.

“How is she?” he asked

“Good.”

“Can I hold her?”

“No.” you placidly answered

He simply took a deep breath in response before opening his mouth again.

“We should talk.”

“Indeed we should. You have a lot of explaining to do.” You frowned.

“I had good reasons to try to go back to the Empire.”

“Yes, evidently you are still very much attached to this tyranny.”

“You do not understand. I didn’t tell you everything.”

You raise an eyebrow, what could he say to save his image now?

“If I am so attached to this tyranny, as you call it, it is to save my worlds.”

And he explained everything to you, all the secrets he kept hidden all this time, secrets nobody’s outside of him and a certain Ba’kif knew about. The true reasons of his mission and allegiance to the Empire, anything he didn’t tell you before.

You just listen silently, eyes round and mouth agape.

“... You may hate me now, but I will demand to keep seeing my daughter. This is all I ask for.”

“I…” You just manage to say, lost “I am sorry, Thrawn.”

He remained silent, sounding you with his inquisitive red gaze, awaiting your reaction once you gathered your thoughts.

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” You concede, “But I couldn’t turn a blind eye either…” You try to show him where you come from.

But he is determined.

“I know. But my success depends on the success of the Empire.”

“The success of the Empire implies the subjugation of all races and slavery.”

“Not when I will have taken control of it. This is a necessary evil for now.”

“This is horrible… How can you say that?” You said, pained.

“This is war, casualties are inevitable. ” He insisted, “But when I will lead it, everything will end. You need to trust me.”

You lower your gaze to observe your daughter’s face. She is peacefully sleeping in your arms, soothed by both of your voices. She is as blue as him, with the same red eyes…

You already tied yourself to him, for better and for worse…

You sigh, closing your eyes. You hear him getting closer and circling your shoulders with his arm.

“I need you to trust me, cheo Cha’cah. I do it for the greater good.” He murmurs soothingly.

You purse your lips.

“I will not hinder you, but do not expect me to help you in any way!” You annonce with tenacity.

“Alright.” He gently kisses your shoulder, “Are you still mad?”

“Yes! A lot! But… I understand better now.” You say giving him a side glance.

He looks deep into your eyes, squeezing your shoulders against his body.

“I love you…” He confesses like a secret.

“Me too…” You reassure him. “But I will need time.”

“Will you let me hold our daughter?”

You gently give him your baby and she opens her eyes to meet his. He presses her delicately against his chest, a skin-to-skin hug so important for babies. She grabs one of his fingers in her little fist and starts babbling, smiling at her father.

“Hello you.” He gently says, “I missed you.”

You purse your lips, feeling like a heartless monster for depriving him of his child, and her, her father.

He slept with Thaishi in his arms that night and you pressed yourself against him, looking at your baby, cheek pressed on the chest of her father, sleeping soundly, at peace.

And you cried, knowing that this could come to an end one day.

You’re being brutally called back to reality when Thaishi sprinted into your laps to smash into you.

“Leys proposed to me to spend the day with her!” She exclaims joyfully as you try to catch your breath after that hit.

You turn towards Ley’s mother, slowly nodding.

“You need some peace and quiet at that point in your pregnancy, (Y/n). Relax for the day, we will take care of the kids.”

You turn back to Thaishi, eyes full of hope.

“Alright, but you must promise to behave well when you are with them! And don’t forget your Cheuhn lesson with your father.”

“Yes, mom!” She already sprints back to her friends group, barely listening to you.

She only listens to her father. You sigh, shaking your head.

Kids…

You yawn and decide to use this newfound liberty to take a nap, even if you just woken up. You were soundly sleeping for some hours now, back at your hut, when you felt a warm body pressing itself against your back and strong, large hands caressing your pregnant belly.

“Welcome back, sir…” You yawn.

Thrawn kisses your shoulders, pressing you tighter against his large body.

“How are you feeling?” He whispers.

“Heavy!” You burst out laughing “And fat! This belly gets in the way of everything, it’s impressive.”

“You are beautiful like that.” He insists, “I found you more and more hypnotizing as your pregnancy advances” He keeps caressing your tummy tenderly.

“Are you sure you are the most objective person in this situation?” You argue back with a side grin.

“I need not to be objective, I only need my eyes to witness your bewitching beauty. And I can confidently say you are the most beautiful of all.”

“Even when my body is limp and bloated like that?”

“Especially like that. You being pregnant is a real… Temptation.” He breathes lowly in your ear, “I have all the pain in the world to maintain my control.”

“You? Struggling to keep your control in check? I do not believe you sir.” You laugh.

“And yet, such is the effect you have on me.” He starts kissing your neck, slowly going up. “You mesmerize me in every possible way.” He licks your ear with the tip of his tongue.

“You are really touchy today.” You squirm in his embrace, brushing your soft body against his muscles.

“I have been struck by a real vision.” 

“Well thank you sir, I take care of myself!” You joke. “You are quite handsome yourself!”

Your hair has grown too by the time and he buries his nose in it to inhale your scent.

“I want to eat you up.” He says with a growl.

“Aren’t I delectable?” You keep joking.

“You are. Exactly to my taste, but you misunderstood me.” He leans again, blowing on the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine, “I want to eat you out until you are a shaking mess in my hands, until you can not remember your own name.” He gives another quick lick to your ear.

His deep voice has such an effect on you, you can’t help but shudder in response, much to his satisfaction. Thrawn proved himself physically affectionate, not shy to express his love physically in public or in private… Especially in private! And even though Thaishi’s birth didn’t stop your sex life, it is true it slowed it down a bit. Your last sexual relationship was some months ago and the new pregnancy didn’t help, even though… Thrawn looks at you differently when you’re pregnant.

You're convinced it teases something deeply buried in his psyche and entrails, it excites him, always looking at you wherever you are, always holding you in his arms in some ways, keeping you to himself…

You remember your first pregnancy, he had his hands all over you all day long, drinking between your legs for long hours, getting more and more unhinged as your tummy started to get bigger and bigger. 

Maybe it is one of his kinks… You have the occasion to verify it today…

You turn to face him with a cheeky grin.

“So you like me pregnant.” You state. 

“It is a wonder of nature.”

“Is that it?” You innocently pull on your shirt to reveal your belly to his eyes.

The light growl emanating from him was unmistakable. His gleaming eyes seem to shine brighter and you think you see him gulp.

“Just a wonder of nature?” You insist, blinking your eyes naively.

“I wonder what kind of reaction you expect of me, flashing your pregnant belly to me.”

“I don’t know… Maybe I am simply curious?”

He raises an eyebrow in response, not buying your innocent act.

“Curious?” He repeats cautiously.

“Curious about the fantasy of my man… What titillates him, what excites him, what drives him absolutely…” You keep your act, drawing sweet circles with your nail on your heavy tummy. “... Crazy.”

He takes a deep breath, eyes locked on your round belly, clearly interested in what you have to offer. His growl takes a dive in the deeper tone, squinting his eyes, trying to maintain his cool in front of your insolent temptation allurement.

He remains very set back in his fantasies, never truly revealing his true taste, preferring to oblige yours instead so you have only an unfinished portrait of his kinks.

But this…

This caught his attention well and you intend to play a bit with it.

“I feel like I have your full attention.” you smile cheekily.

“You do.” he says, cautious of your little game, but so tempted.

“My belly is so soft and warm, if only you could feel it like I do.” You tease mercilessly. “Do you like me pregnant with your child?”

“Yes. A lot.” His voice is no more than a growl now.

He extends his hand to caress your tummy and you slap it immediately. He groans, displeases, and frowns in response.

“No touch. You can only admire.”

“You have no mercy.” He mediates, “Will you really deny me?”

“Maybe. After all, physical exhaustion is really bad for me, I don’t know if letting you do what you want is good for the baby.” You clap back without pity for him.

“I do believe what I have in mind is really good for both of you.” He insinuates lowly.

“You have no proof of what you say.”

“Really? We can go ask the healer right now and we will know where we stand.” He responds without missing a bit, absolutely serious.

You observe him haughtily, like you’re not believing him and don’t intend to give up. He presses himself tighter to you. You wonder how it would get if you pushed him to his limits… 

He has always been soft and tender to you, but you’re curious. How is he when he is mad? When you push his dominant tendencies? 

You refrain from smiling like a deviant.

“Let me show you what I mean, and you will judge for yourself.” He proposes.

“I do not know if I will let you, mister. I am not convinced.” You put your hand on his mouth to push him back with a grin.

He licks your palm to get rid of your hand with a dark gaze.

“Do not play with me.” He warns.

“Or what? What will you do to your heavily pregnant wife?” You tease.

He flinches imperceptibly at the mention of your pregnancy, growling deeply like an annoyed animal.

“You couldn’t hurt a fly. I am not afraid in the slightest, mister.”

He looks at you intently and suddenly his Intense gaze melts into sparkling eyes and he lets out a sneer.

“You will not gain what you want by playing with my ego, Cha’cah.”

Oh Makers damn it!

“Come on!” You insist, pressing yourself more against him, “Humor me!”

“No.” He chuckles, amused like he would with a child, “You will not win that fight.”

“Pffffff… You’re no fun.” You purse your lips, sulking.

“On the contrary, I can be a lot of fun.” He embraces you tightly, “You just need to find the right levers.”

“I had one! You clearly were hanging onto every word when I showed you my belly!” You contest.

“Indeed. And you would have won if you kept playing with this strategy, but you made the tactical error of changing the point of pressure.”

You grumble, frustrated. You were really curious, how is sex with him when he’s mean and overly dominant?

“Do not frown, cheo cha’cah. You need not to play the temptress to seduce me, your innate charms work wonders.” He tries to soothe you.

“I wanted to see how it would go if you were mean and harsh.” You pout.

“Being mean and harsh to you is not appealing to me. I would rather honor you than demeaning you in any way.” He kisses your forehead.

You’re still deadly curious.

“I will find a way, one day.” You promise, seething.

“Do not sulk, my love.” He smiles, entertained, “Let me take care of you, it will ease the tension between your eyebrows, my darling.” He continues, lowering himself to kiss your clavicle and going more south.

He kisses your tummy reverently, leaving sweet kisses all over it while caressing it. You feel the baby giving him a kick and he responds with a final, loving peck.

“They too are quite energetic.” He notes, satisfied, “You keep giving me healthy and strong children. Thank you.”

He then reports his attention to your skirt that he slides down your hips and legs with ease. Still pouting, you close your legs shut to deny him, he chuckles again, sliding his hands between the flesh of your thighs and successfully opening them for him.

“Come on now, there is no need to be difficult, sweet thing. I know you love it when I go down on you.” 

It’s true.

With him being so good at it, you can only love it in return. But he doesn’t want to entertain your fancy so you won’t entertain his. You cross your arms over your chest with a grumble.

“You are unbelievable, cheo Cha’cah. You act like a spoiled child.” You hear his smug smile in his voice, hidden behind your stomach. “But I know how to make you react, I know everything about you.”

You feel the cold air on your pussy as he slides your panties on the side, he blows on your clit playfully, sending a shiver down your spine again but you refrain from the whine that threatens to pass your lips.

“I will have you sing soon enough, my love.” He says with his usual confidence.

He takes a sloppy lick at your pussy and you greet your teeth together. 

Do not make a sound! Do not make a sound! Do not make a sound!

Unimpressed by your headstrong attitude, he keeps licking your pussy lips lazily, like a tired, lascivious king, moaning his own pleasure for you.

He also knows that you absolutely love hearing him moan and groan, vocalizing his pleasure out loud, it goes straight to your empty pussy that starts to signify to you that it is scandalously empty.

He laps at your cunny slowly with the flat of his tongue, trailing your slit with his tip and sucking your nervous clit. You bite your lips and dig your nails into the flesh of your arms to maintain control over yourself.

“Your pussy is more honest than you are.” He notes, “It gets wetter to my touch while you childishly refuse to indulge.”

Oh, he’s one to talk about indulgence, mister frugal lifestyle!

“You do not! I am a dry ice cube! In fact I’m starting to get bored!” You manage to let out in a hurry before any tremors come to shake your voice.

Again he simply chuckles at you.

“You will break, my love.” He simply announces, kissing your sweet pussy between each word. “That is an absolute certainty.”

You’ll show him you can maintain control over your own person. You will not break!

But he is right on one point, your pussy does get wetter by the seconds, at you great damn.

You keep your jaws closed shut, froward. He resumes laving at your soft pussy that gets softer and softer as your blood travels south. You feel him spread your pussylips with his fingers to lick your hidden, tender flesh.

You feel your abdominals contracting at his sweet touch, and it didn’t escape him.

“Oh? Are those the first shivers of your undeniable pleasure?” He teases.

“I’m just cold.” You bite back

“Not for long, sweet thing. I will make sure of it.”

As he keeps licking your now dripping pussy you start hearing his purr resonating in the hut. He enjoys himself very much. He loves eating you out as much as you do, if not more. You suddenly feel his tongue entering your wet cavern and start tonguefucking you.

A single moan escapes you before you press your hand on your mouth. His purr drops down to deeper tones, sending shivers through your puffy, wet, walls, raising your hardly refutable pleasure…

“My little bird does not wish to sing for me? It is alright, I will have you crying, Cha’cah.”

And he starts fucking you harshly in retaliation, his tongue waving and grazing your G spot with such ease it is almost comical. His hand comes to flicker and press your clit, puffy with blood. He makes it roll between his fingers, titillates it consciously as he drinks your slick as he would drink water.

Maker those debauched sounds…

How the wet sounds of your little pussy and his grunts sound to your ears… This is highly depraved and debaucherous.

So exciting… Argh! Get a grip of yourself! Do not let him win!

He is… motivated, to say the least. He must have taken your vow of silence as a personnel challenge because he seems determined to have you cum hard and rapidly. He is eating you out with energy and a will you only encountered when you fought him in battle.

Despite your closed mouth, your uncontrollable whimpers can be heard well in this little room and it is the sweetest melody to his ears, only encouraging him to double his efforts. He eats you out enthusiastically, nastily, roughly, abusing your tender flesh with his swollen lips. He continues moaning without any shame, letting you know that he has no qualms enjoying himself to the fullest while you hold on to a childish pride.

Your dripping pussy convulses around his wet, flexible limb as he brushes your gummy spot with his tip expertly, making your pleasure rise more and more until it comes crashing down upon you. Your little cunny clenches painfully around his tongue and you come against his mouth and against your will.

“What a remarkably honest body you have, cheo Cha’cah. Letting me know everything I need to know without a fuss. Guiding me through your true desires so eagerly.”

“You’re full of yourself!” you spit out.

He gently kisses your thighs, licking you soft, plump flesh with a deep moan.

 “Abandon your immature act and just enjoy yourself. Why deny yourself like that, little rebel?” He asks curiously

You do not respond like a mutineer.

“Sometimes I do not understand you.” He sighs.

He kisses your pussy reverently, like he gallantly kisses your hand before rising up to free his erection of his constrictive pants. You look away, stubborn, refusing to look at the member that used to give you so many orgasms before.

“You looking away will not impede the inevitable.”

You feel him coat his shaft with your essence, brushing his cock between your slit back and forth, soaking it with your slick. It brushes against your erected, nervous clit and you have to fight another mewl rising in your throat.

“Your body gives me so much pleasure, I am thankful to you, my love.” He lets you know with a tone of secrets, “We should indulge more, sharing such intimate moments is so important to build a healthy relationship. I know our sex life slowed down since we became parents, but I still look at you as a woman first, not only a mother, with all the desires and craving it implies.” He continues.

He’s trying to win you over! To make you lower your defenses! You’ll not surrender for some sugary words, you have more will than that! He sighs lasciviously and unfastens his long hair, letting them frame his handsome face and draping his large shoulders. You gasp at this gorgeous sight.

“I know you think I am trying to sweeten you. I am simply telling my truth.” He brushes his noses in the crook of your neck, caressing your full tummy so tenderly. “Even if you obstinate yourself to deny yourself pleasure for an infantile vagaries, it will not prevent me from doing my best to satisfy you as it is my duty, cheo Cha’cah.” He informs you as a sentence.

You close your eyes shut as he pushes himself inside you, his size making it difficult for your little pussy. You press your lips in a thin line as he splits you in two with his massive member.

“I missed how your little pussy strangles me.” He gasps, deeply satisfied.

He keeps pushing further, pushing your inner flesh apart until you feel his tip brushing your cervix deep, deep inside your most secret place. 

You gulp, bracing yourself for what is to come.

“You are so tense, my love. You should relax.” He says tenderly, “There is no need to make the experience uncomfortable for you.”

“I am 8 months pregnant, I do not simply "relax "." You mock.

“A deep and warm orgasm should help you get more comfortable, my sweet. You can count on me.” He keeps offering you sweet words.

He starts moving, with shallow thrusts, taking it easy on your sore body. You breathe deeply through your nose, trying not to focus on the delicious sensations his ridges give you, how wonderfully full you feel with him inside, how right it feels to have your husband like that. A strangled yelp escapes you as he resumes teasing your clit with his hand as he thrusts into you.

“Give me your hand.” He orders softly.

You feel him trail your arm until he reaches your hand and intertwines your fingers together.

He deepens his thrusts, going deeper, slipping out almost entirely leaving just the tip inside and pushes it back in languorously, undulating his hips against yours.

You try so hard to fight back the waves of pleasure, tensing up your muscles under his inquisitive gaze, but he gives you so much, it is so hard to shield yourself completely when he puts so much energy and love in each of his thrusts, forcing you to endure the delight he offers. You feel tears building up behind your eyes.

You hiss as he rocks his hips with a quicker pace, sliding in and out easily thanks to your first orgasm, the waves of pleasure poisoning your veins and nerves ending.

“You are so reactive for someone who refuses pleasure.” He placidly notes, “You can try and hide as much as you want, you cannot lie to me, my love. I know you too well. Your body is an open book to me. Denying it is… useless.” He says, modulating his deep, melodious voice as he knows you prefer.

You shake your head vehemently.

“I experienced your body for years, sweet thing. I know it as well as mine. I studied it carefully, each and every single one of your reactions. I know how to please it, I know how to bring it to the verge of an earth shattering orgasm.”

He is so confident in his capacities to please you, you’ll give him that. He keeps rubbing your clit and you try to escape his sweet touch but he grasps your hips and impales you back on his cock, burying it to the hilt. You whine.

“You will not escape it.” It is as much a promise as it is a threat.

He accelerates his pace again, bullying himself into you without any mercy. Your cunny desperately tries to accommodate his size, clenching pathetically around his girthy shaft.

“Those are the reactions I like.” He says smugly. “Kiss me, cheo Cha’cah.”

He lowers himself to reach your lips but you turn your head away.

“Are you so cold hearted to deny me your lips?”

You grumble and swiftly kiss his cheek.

“Satisfied?” you bare your teeth.

“Thank you. But I hoped for more.”

You purse your lips but let him kiss you, you feel him purring against your mouth. You open your mouth and he enters it with his tongue to dance with yours. He squeezes your hand with his as he deepens the kiss, looming over your body. You growl in the kiss but feel his lips draw in a smile.

So you bite his lips in retaliation.

He licks the little bead of blood away, looking at you with a pleased expression.

“I love when you defy me.” He says lowly, keeping his hard pace, “I love it even more when it is clear you will lose.”

“I am losing nothing!”

“I have the clear memory of making you cum two minutes ago. And you will suffer another defeat in less than three. How does it feel, little rebel? Knowing your greatest efforts go to waste against a superior will.”

“Imperial dog!” You spit.

“Keep that energy up, my love.” He kisses your cheek.

He accentuates his hips action, making you squeal uncontrollably.

“Ca-Careful the baby!” You warn indignant.

“The baby is fine.” He replies with a mocking tone, “In fact, they can sense how good their mother feels. I reckon they must enjoy themself thoroughly with you squirming so desperately under my touch.”

“I… Fuck you!”

He snickers and raises on his knees, forcing your hips up in the air. He digs his fingers in the flesh of your plump hips to keep you in place, doing so he removed all control you had over the action. Now you are truly a victim of his will.

“Such foul language. I better understand Thaishi’s manners.”

He slows down the pace to give a circling motion of his hips to vary the sensations, making sure his girth rubs every sensitive spot in your vagina. You tremble terribly in his hands, like struck by lightning. You bite down your lips terribly to not moan.

To no avail…

“Ah yes, the sweet moans of my muse. It only motivates me to work harder for you.”

He plundges his cock deep, scratching every itch, making you sing against your will. You feel tears rolling on your flushed lips as you try to catch up your breath under such physical exercises.

He leans forward to lick your tears away, the salt tingling on his darted tongue deliciously.

“You are beautiful, my sweet. Crying your pleasure out loud like that.”

Embarrassed, you hide your eyes with one arm, only for him to grip it immediately to take it off.

“No, Cha’cah. You do not get to hide from me.”

“Pl-please finish soon…” You beg.

You have enough of this trial and humiliation, you’re too tired to get this beating. Something snapped in your stomach, begging for him to reach his climax and yours with it.

“Finishing this early? But I feel plenty full of ardor today, I had in mind to keep going for one or two hours more. Just to be sure you orgasmed correctly, I would hate to have you unsatisfied, my love, your enjoyment is my priority.”

You tremble, shaken by spasms, convulsing in pleasure, stiffness reaching all of your limbs as the waves of pleasure incapacitate you as they spread in your veins. You feel your little pussy gaping around his shaft desperately trying to keep him in.

“Okay… You won, I surrender. Please, finish soon..” You say panting, gasping for air at each of his powerful thrust.

“My, my, you are giving up so easily, my dear. But your wish is my command.”

He adjusts his position, and installs a break-necking pace. You’re being pushed against the mattress without mercy and you bite your tongue in the confusion. You cannot help the squeals escaping your pretty mouth while he moans in tandem with your plaints.

Your pussy clenches hard as you come, trying to retain him inside, strangling him just like he loves sending him over the edge. He slows down his pace and comes undone inside.

You’re shaking, crying, getting back from your high as he puts his forehead against yours, caressing your cheek.

“Cha’cah?” He calls in a whisper, “Are you alright?”

You nod, your visage hidden in your hands, catching your breath. He kisses your hands before taking them off your face and pecks your cheek and nose.

“Breath deep, cheo Cha’cah. Easy.”

He holds you tight, cradling your body tenderly.

“There… Breath. Everything is alright.”

You gasp, wiping your tears away.

“Oh Maker…” You whimper.

He brushes his nose with yours, his long hair framing his gorgeous face. 

“Everything is fine, you are with me, my love.” He keeps soothing you. 

A sigh mixed with a gasp escapes you as you feel your heart calming down in your chest. Thrawn keeps kissing your face tenderly, holding your cheek in his warm palm. He slips out of you, leaving you intolerably empty and slides to the side where he takes you in his arms to hold you close. You bury your face in his neck and breathe in his musk to calm down, his hand comes caressing your hair gently, appeasingly. 

“I love you.” He murmurs. 

“I love you too… “ You respond, exhausted. 

“We should bathe.”

“I'm too tired… “ You complain, nudging against him 

“Come on, ch'eo vir. Let me help.”

He rises with 8 months pregnant you in his arms and heads towards the river where he bathes you both conscientiously, laying you against his naked chest, surrounded by fresh water. You doze off, too relaxed to keep your eyes open. 

---------------

You were playing with Thaishi when you heard a familiar sound resonate through the air like a loud bang. Immediately, the sky darkens, the sun disappears and a weird silence takes place in the village, everyone looking up.

You raise your head, gulping, and Thaishi points to the large object in the sky. 

“Mum, what's that?” she asks, as fascinated as she appears terrified.

Massive and large,  the ISD floats over the village like a dark presage, brining death and fire with it.

“This is…” You start, feeling panic rising, “This is…”

The two headed serpent leave no doubt who’s ISD it is.

They’re here for Thrawn!

You pick up Thaishi in your arms precipitaly, making her yelp in surprise and run to your hut, hugging her tight. When you arrive you see Thrawn passing the doorframe in his white uniform, hair cut and black boot unsoiled. 

You almost hit him with your speed, but you stop just in time.

“Thrawn!”

“I know, Cha’cah. Do not worry.”

“But… Where does this uniform come from? Why are they here? Why-”

“I managed to contact them.” He drops the bomb.

You look at him completely dumbfounded, at loss for words.

“What? But… How could you…”

He put his hands on your shoulders to ground you.

“Cha’cah, we are going home.”

You feel like the ground just opened under your feet and would swallow you whole. Your legs give up under you, in shock, but Thrawn catches you and Thaishi expertly.

“(Y/n)! Are you alright?”

“Mom?” Your daughter calls for you in the hands of her father, afraid.

You close your eyes.

You cannot believe it.

The day you feared the most came. You will be separated, torn apart, never to see each other again.

Some villagers came to you when you fell, Thrawn let you in their care, kissing your forehead and heading towards the Chief huts.

When you reopen your eyes, you are in the healer’s hut. You discard the wet fabric she placed on your forehead and go outside.

The ISD is here.

Ominous and threatening.

You reel for some steps before straightening yourself. Here you find Thrawn holding Thaishi, the Chiefs and a woman in an imperial uniform.

Where did he hide this perfectly neat uniform? During all those years he hid it from you, well tidied in a box, awaiting its hour. You suddenly feel a spick of ire in your vein at the sight of that clean white.

Thrawn turns towards you, and a light smile comes lightening his face.

“There she is. Commodore Faro I want you to meet Lady (F/n). My wife.”

Faro slowly bows to you, but something in her eyes displeases you.

She knows who you are.

She doesn’t recognize you as a crew member of Thrawn ships and the only other people present that day were Rebels.

She knows.

She gives a side glance at her Grand Admiral but abstains from any comments.

“Lady (F/n).” She politely but coldly greets.

“Everything is taking care of, Cha’cah.” Thrawn continues, “We will embark everyone on board and exit that planet.”

You turn your head to the chiefs, interrogating them with your eyes.

“We agreed to let your husband temper with the ship if he promised us to take us with you.”

“But.. You’ve been here for a millennia… This is your home… Your planet.”

“We are wanderers at heart, our place is flying through space, not remaining on a single rock.”

You turn back to Thrawn, mouth agape and tears behind the eyes.

“Thrawn… You cannot be serious…”

“Cha’cah.” He cuts you softly, “Our place is not here, our home and duties are away from this planet. It is time for us to go.”

You want to slap him across the face, scream at him, telling him that he will never know the child you bare, that he is killing this family.

“Leave me here with Thaishi.” You just say weakly.

You cannot resume your combat, you cannot fight your husband even if you know you’re in the right, you cannot say goodbye to your children and leave them alone.

“I am not leaving you on this backwater planet, love.” He warns, “We discussed this subject matter and agreed. Thaishi and the baby will be sent to the Ascendancy and live a safe life while we will go back to our responsibilities.”

“How can you say that?” You feel ire rising in your veins.

“We are both warriors. We both know our duties would supplant everything in our life.”

“Thrawn…” You beg.

He caresses your cheek and his thumb swipe one silent tear that rolls on your skin, you sob.

“Those four years have been a blessing. The miracle I stopped hoping for.” He presses his forehead against yours, looking you in the eyes with a sigh, “But the dream must end. It is time now to wake up and advance.”

“Thrawn…” Your voice is no more than a pathetic plea.

“I know, Cha’cah. I will never stop loving you and will cherish those memories I have with you both. But it is time…”

He extends his hand to you with a comforting smile while your image of him gets blurry with tears.

“Come home with me, my love?”

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo @germie2037

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[firefirefruit]

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: Thirty-Five

Read On: AO3 | Table of Contents | Next Chapter

Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

writer's notes: hi guys! i know, super late post. i've been super busy with things so it's been hard to juggle everything right now! but i'm still here - very much alive and still writing. i hope you enjoy this next chapter :p as always, would love to read your comments on this one!

Chapter Thirty-Five: A Surly Monster

A pair of long, large obsidian nails curve around the ship with an ear-shattering creak. Impatiently, the dragon snarls out, its dark wings tensely billowing outwards like a sparkling parachute, increasingly building its strong momentum to lift off.

Law stumbles out of the boys' quarters—if you can even call it that anymore, what with the Hearts pirates having to bunk beds with the Strawhats in an incredibly undersized room—his bare feet slapping against the wooden deck in alarm.

"What," he seethes, whilst the little nightcap on the top of his head trembles against the dragon's slapping wind, "the fuck have you gotten into now!?"

Zoro turns, eyebrow raised, and when his eyes land on the Surgeon of Death donning a dress robe that billows out dramatically in front of him—and not to mention that ridiculous little hat—he instantly shouts out in laughter.

Law's piercing eyes slink onto the swordsman. "You got something to say, asshole?"

Zoro keeps barking out like an animal out of control, which makes Raya snap her head around and gape at him as if she's never met this man before. Zoro shakes his head, a tear glistening in his eye. "Nice outfit, princess."

Law's face burns, his jaw tensing into a boulder of stone. "I'm going to kill you, you piece of—"

In a startling and teetering tilt to the ship, the dragon bellows out thunderously, its snout producing smoke that threatens to spill into fire. It retracts its claws—only one remaining hooked on the side of the Sunny—as its wet eyes tilt downwards to the two men who begin flailing off the ship. 

Silence them, or I shall do it myself, the dragon grumbles hotly. 

Raya shivers as she hears the voice in her skull again – deep, shattering and quite…. unsurprisingly, ill-tempered. She tilts her head back up at the heavy-shouldered force, and without even thinking of her own hot temper, she narrows her eyes back at him. 

Quit talking through me, Raya bites out, ignoring the distant cries of the two men hanging onto the ship by a rotten, stray rope. You have no right to invade my mind like this.

The dragon bristles, blasting air from its snout. I am not your enemy, Human.

"Room!" Law forcefully cries out, his inked fingers stretching out, his feet flapping against nothing but air. "Sha—"

But before Law utters that one life-saving word, his hand, with no doing of his own, slams right into his face.

Control their tempers, the dragon repeats, his large eyeballs gleaming at Law, or I'll do more than place his hand in his mouth. 

"Ugh, fuck!" Raya hisses, her knuckles turning white over the wooden railing. "Fine! Just hold the ship up properly!"

The dragon huffs out a cloud of smoke in response to Raya's demand, but it complies, adjusting its grip on the ship to stabilise it. Law and Zoro, now dangling precariously from the rope, exchange glares before scrambling back onto the deck.

Raya clenches her fists, still seething with frustration at the intrusion into her mind. "You better keep your end of the bargain," she warns the dragon, her voice laced with venom.

Deal with your companions, and I shall refrain from further interference.

With a heavy sigh, Raya turns her attention to Law and Zoro; standing sheepishly on the deck, they try to regain their composure through manly coughs and throat clearing. 

Raya raises a finger at them. "You two," she begins, her voice tight with irritation, "need to get your shit together. I'm in the middle of figuring out what these bloody beasts want with me, and you're both itching for a stupid fight."

Law bristles and takes an accusatory step forward. "But he's the one who started—"

"Boohoo, now go kiss and make up," Raya snaps. She sighs and takes a moment to compose herself, softly leaning her hips against the wooden rail. "Look, these dragons have some sort of business with me. The only reason you guys are here right now with me - and not stranded in Gods knows where - is because— Oh, for fuck's sake, Roronoa, put your swords away."

"We're heading to their den, aren't we?" Zoro mutters. "We gotta be prepared."

"If you don't slide those swords back into their pretty little sheathes, I will eviscerate them again," Raya calmly says, narrowing her eyes. "And this time, Roronoa, I won't fix them."

Silence. 

Law silently gives Zoro a curious side-eye, waiting with Raya for his next move.

The shink! of steel brushing against leather slides in slow, reluctant, movements, following with a tight snap, as the swords burrow themselves securely into their respective homes. 

Raya smirks, sarcastically pouting back at Zoro's grumpy frown. "Good talk."

She looks over to the portholes behind Zoro and Law, realising that Nami, Usopp and Bepo's bewildered faces are staring out from the safety of their sleeping quarters. Raya sighs, stretching her fingers out by her sides. "Alright, let's go and fill the others in."

☆

 

"THIS IS SOOOOOO COOOOL!" Luffy yells, his voice echoing off into the depths of the cavern. 

"Shut up, Luffy! Don't wake them up," Usopp quickly hisses as his legs shakingly clamber down the ship's ladder. 

"But they're already awake?" Bepo mentions, staring wide-eyed at a colossal dragon that flies past their eyes.

"Shut up," Usopp panickily repeats, slamming his eyes shut as he feels the heavy breath of the dragon hit his face. "You're lying. You're lying. I can't see anything."

"I mean, I guess I won't be needing a lighter anymore." Sanji grins, reaching his cigarette out to a random sprout of fire that dances across the surface of a rock. "It's not too bad, Usopp. You could be the Strawhat's dessert, if you wanted to," he taunts with an evil grin plastered on his face.

Usopp pales. “Des… Dessert?” 

"Hold on..." Brook looks around, his jaw dropping. "Where did Luffy go?"

"Don't worry," Robin smiles, waving her hand. "Franky's babysitting."

"This…This is incredible," Raya dazedly mutters to herself, entranced by the vast expanse of rock and fire.

The cavern is enormous – fit to house five hundred dragons, to be exact. It's so big that Raya can see a few dragons soar through as little specks of shimmering colour. 

As Raya steps into the stomach-dropping view, her senses are immediately overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of its grandeur. The cavern stretches before her like the yawning mouth of some ancient titan, its walls jagged and imposing, veined with veins of glimmering minerals that catch the flickering light from the fiery pits below.

Above, the ceiling disappears into darkness, lost to the depths of the earth, while below, the floor is a chaotic mosaic of molten rock and glowing embers, casting an eerie orange glow that dances across the cavern walls. The air is thick with the acrid scent of sulphur, punctuated by the occasional roar of a passing dragon and the crackling of flames.

Clusters of stalactites hang like icicles from the ceiling, their tips glistening with droplets of molten rock that drip into the fiery chasms below. Columns of stone rise up from the depths, their surfaces scarred and pitted from centuries of exposure to the elements.

But what truly captures Raya's attention are the dragons themselves. Massive beasts of every size and colour, their scales gleaming like jewels in the dim light, their wings spanning the length of several ships as they soar effortlessly through the cavern. Some lounge lazily on rocky outcrops, their eyes gleaming with a predatory intelligence, while others dart through the air with lightning speed, their forms blurred by the heat haze rising from the molten rock below.

Human, the familiar voice rumbles out, spinning Raya's head back into reality. Look at me, Human.

Suddenly, the colossal obsidian dragon reappears again, making Chopper and Brook screech out in surprise. It hovers in front of Raya with a slightly tilted head, almost as if he's offering some sort of respect. His wet eyes lock onto hers, his wings flapping in rhythmic movements, and silence fills Raya's ears as if a melody is playing that she is forbidden to listen to. 

Raya holds her breath, feeling the warmth of his snout blow her hair backwards. She doesn't respond to his telepathic intrusion; she only stares.

The black dragon breathes out again, an odd similarity to a tired, human sigh.

Get on my back, he says. We have much to discuss.

[neithoftheveil]

Masterlist of my AO3 fics:

no light, no light

Word Count: 11,655

Rating: T

Ship: Wuming/Xie Lian

Summary: Wuming turns into a Wrath sooner into the temple scene, helps Xie Lian recover from his injuries, and teaches him it’s never a mistake to care.

-

spectrum

Word Count: 597

Rating: G

Ship: Wuming/Xie Lian

Summary: An extra for no light, no light. Xie Lian’s mother finds out about her son and San Lang’s relationship.

-

forever is a start

Word Count: 4,104

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: After his emotional outpouring in Qi Rong’s lair, Xie Lian gives into his feelings for Hua Cheng and stops fighting the magnetism between them.

-

borrowed finery

Word Count: 3,668

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: Xie Lian decides to dress up as the God-Pleasing Crown Prince for his husband’s birthday. He does not anticipate how worthless imitating his former glory makes him feel.

-

your most obedient servant

Word Count: 2,697

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian; hints of Wuming/Xie Lian

Summary: A shameless, stand-alone addition to borrowed finery. Hua Cheng gets wrecked by his husband for his birthday. That’s the whole fic.

-

my dream is only you

Word Count: 4,995

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian; Wuming/Xie Lian

Summary: Hua Cheng has one request for his birthday: that his god fuck him in his Wuming form. Xie Lian is more than happy to spoil the sweet boy he took for granted. And spoil him a little more after that, if he’s good.

-

to yearn for affection

Word Count: 3,356

Rating: G

Ship: Feng Xin/Mu Qing

Summary: Mu Qing is cursed to cry unless he’s being touched. Feng Xin offers to hold his hand but makes one joke too many and hits a sore spot.

Or, Feng Xin jokes he’s in love with Mu Qing at the Worst Possible Moment and they each have feelings about it.

-

i talk to god but the sky is empty

Word Count: 69,959

Rating: E

Ship: Feng Xin/Mu Qing; Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: When a tongueless spirit appears in the south and curses ghosts, gods, and mortals alike with catatonia, Hua Cheng, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin must work together to solve the mystery behind the curse and save Xie Lian from the horrors ravaging his mind.

They may never find a cure, however, if the villagers plagued by the spirit don’t stop lying to them at every turn.

-

i hope we shall meet again

Word Count: 2,190

Rating: T

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian; hints of Wuming/Xie Lian

Summary: On Mount Yujun, Hua Cheng appears before Xie Lian in a variation of an old form, not expecting that Xie Lian carried Wuming in his heart for eight centuries and would know his ghost anywhere, mask or no mask.

-

i’ve got my mind on you

Word Count: 1,384

Rating: G

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: Walking across campus with Shi Qingxuan, Xie Lian quite literally runs into the hottest man he’s ever seen in his life and has no idea what to do when attraction slams into him like a semi truck.

-

strap the wing to me

Word Count: 37,996

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: When a second Shangyuan Heavenly Ceremonial Procession is ruined by Xie Lian’s personal bodyguard and childhood friend Hua Cheng, the King and Queen of Xianle decide to pull their son out of the Royal Holy Temple to arrange his mating and rearrange his guard. Their goal is to keep Xie Lian far away from red-eyed, ill-fated, alpha Hua Cheng, who is hopelessly in love with Xie Lian and would doom the country given half a chance to mate the crown prince.

But Hua Cheng can’t stand to see Xie Lian’s dreams dashed. He offers a solution to his best friend in secret: he can break the law and bite Xie Lian to take him permanently off the market so he can cultivate, but he’ll have to go on the run after he does it to avoid execution.

-

your love is sunlight

Word Count: 28,697

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: Sequel to "strap the wing to me." As Xie Lian takes the next steps in his relationship with Hua Cheng, trouble brews in Xianle.

Meanwhile, Hua Cheng has suspicions someone is behind the sudden chaos—or maybe he’s only looking for a culprit to prove this situation isn’t owed to his cursed fortune.

**Series ongoing**

-

just do what feels right

Word Count: 2,010

Rating: G

Ship: Feng Xin/Mu Qing

Summary: Mu Qing contemplates what it means to be in love on a cool spring day. Feng Xin has some advice.

-

Mu Qing’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Word Count: 4,583

Rating: M

Ship: Feng Xin/Mu Qing; Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: When Mu Qing wakes up in Xie Lian’s body following a routine mission, he doesn’t have enough time to explain he isn’t Xie Lian before Hua Cheng rolls over and kisses him good morning.

Or, a body swap spell gives Mu Qing a panic attack and forces him to have a conversation about his sex repulsion with Feng Xin that he’s been avoiding for fear of being dumped.

-

i’ve got you

Word Count: 5,479

Rating: E

Ship: Feng Xin/Mu Qing

Summary: After a rival martial god drugs Mu Qing with the intention of destroying his cultivation, Mu Qing decides his cultivation is a weakness others can exploit and approaches Feng Xin to ask for help. Feng Xin might think Mu Qing is the most annoying person in all Three Realms, but he’d never let anything happen to him.

-

Ache of Separation

Word Count: 2,200

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: Convinced his husband writes extra poorly during their calligraphy practice because he finds it amusing, Xie Lian agrees to let Hua Cheng direct his efforts to a canvas he’d hesitate to ruin: Xie Lian’s naked skin.

-

hopelessly devoted

Word Count: 1,383

Rating: G

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: In the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, Xie Lian finds a mural Feng Xin and Mu Qing missed: a familiar ghost wearing a white smiling mask.

-

i will never leave you

Word Count: 23,338

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: Hua Cheng doesn’t appear all at once a year after his dissipation on the Heaven-Crossing Bridge; rather, he corporealizes at Xie Lian’s side on Mount Taicang over the course of four seasons. As he regains his ability to be seen, heard, and touched, he and Xie Lian navigate loss, longing, and love.

-

nobody

Word Count: 1,827

Rating: G

Ships: One-sided Mu Qing/Xie Lian; one-sided Feng Xin/Xie Lian, Feng Xin/Mu Qing

Summary: When Mu Qing brings up idle gossip floating around the mountain that disciples may never have their first kiss, Xie Lian solves the problem for both of them, to unforeseen consequences.

-

made manifest

Word Count: 725

Rating: E

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: Hua Cheng’s mouth gets away from him during sex, and he and his husband stumble upon a new kink.

-

plum blossom

Word Count: 2,546

Rating: G

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary: When a curse array blanches Xie Lian’s hair white, he attempts to dye it back before his husband gets home.

In his defense, the dye didn’t look pink in the bottle.

-

Ongoing:

all that defines me (is falling away)

Last update: September 16, 2024

Rating: T

Ship: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian; Feng Xin/Mu Qing; Yushi Huang/Ling Wen

Summary: Three years after his life falls apart, Xie Lian attempts to start over by reconnecting with old friends and taking over a small flower shop to keep his mind busy, but pretending he can’t see the dark spirit that haunts him doesn’t make it go away. It’s been there forever—along with the nightmares, the deja vu, and the bone-deep longing for someone just outside his memory’s reach.

When a stranger named San Lang wanders into his shop one rainy evening, Xie Lian can’t help but feel like he’s grasped a piece of the puzzle, but his friends are convinced “San Lang” is dangerous, and what’s worse? They might be right. As they investigate his intentions and Xie Lian unravels the mysteries of his life, they find themselves targeted by someone or something hell-bent on taking them out one by one.

-

pieces of you

Last update: August 11, 2024

Rating: T

Ships: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian, Wuming/Xie Lian

Summary: After Xie Lian and Hua Cheng encounter a strange bear spirit in the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, Hua Cheng is split into three past versions of himself: a ten-year-old Hong-er whose last memory is being tossed in a gunny sack, a thirteen-year-old Xiao-Hua who just snuck into the Xianle Army, and a Wuming who still smells of smoke from the burning of the Yong’an Royal Palace.

Trapped on Mount Tonglu with no spiritual energy, no way to call for help, and no basic necessities, Xie Lian and his three companions must keep each other alive while scouring the greater Tonglu area in search of the escaped spirit, all to bring back Xie Lian’s “husband,” a man Xie Lian won’t identify for fear of complicating an already complicated situation.

Jealous of a man they’ve never met, grappling with feelings of inadequacy, and frustrated with each other’s failings, Hong-er, Xiao-Hua, and Wuming are determined to help Xie Lian—even if a successful mission means they disappear.

-

Codename Catastrophe

Last update: August 14, 2024

Rating: E

Ship: Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan

Summary: When Detective Xiao Xingchen and Lieutenant Song Lan cross paths with an elusive necromancing serial killer nicknamed Jiangzai who is responsible for their five-year estrangement, they’re pulled into the young man’s seductive web and offered a deal: if they spare his life, he’ll lead them to the men who contract his kills and provide all the proof they need to prosecute. He claims he works for the Jin Corporation, which owns their province and has recently legislated against omega rights in the workplace, the very reason Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan have been brought back into each other’s lives.

Leaping at the prospect to expose corruption at the heart of their province and to put a stop to further contract kills like Jiangzai’s, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan accept the deal, but working as a team proves difficult: not only do the three have a complicated past and hidden agendas, they can’t fight the attraction building between them, especially when they’re forced to save each other’s lives after the Jin Corporation puts out hits on all three of them.

[angstflavoured]

You have any fic recommendations? Any fandom really lol. You have good takes and interpretation so I feel like you’d have some fire recs

AWH WELL THANK YOU !! I dont actually know how great the ones I read are gonna be since usually the fandoms Im in are scarce on content 💀 but ill go ahead and list a bunch of the ones I really like. I definitely spend way too much of my time reading one shots. REALLY wanna get back into longer fics, but its hard to find ones I care enough to sit down and dedicate time to these days 💔

Smiling Friends

bittersuite, charlie/pim: AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED !!!!! THIS FIC CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER !!!!! It is hurt/no comfort, but its soooo good it hurts so good and also there is supposed to be more eventually so i'd get on this one first bc when the second one drops its gonna be a day in history

Dimples, charlie/pim: I just read this last night and was so pleasantly surprised ☹️ Its so damn cute and I love how it delves more into both of their characters.

Portal 2

interface, chell/wheatley: HANDS down, best portal 2 one shot out there. the way the characterize chell is fucking insane, altered my brain chemistry forever. also wheatley is so hehehheheheh

You Do It, adventure/fact: I have a very love/hate relationship with this author..... Im not the BIGGEST fan of how they characterize them, esp Fact, but its definitely the most decent factventure content out there. I so like this one quite a bit, though their ideas are definitely better in theory than completely in practice. That's how I feel abt a lot of their works, but this person unironically holds the title for like 90% of the factventure content. If you just want some quick cute smut of them, i'd say you should check out their acc, cus I get the factventure fandom is starving LMAOO

I've got the fuse if you've got the light, adventure core/reader: ....erm, very self indulgent for me hehe!!! i was so fucking excited when this dropped

Half-Life/HLVRAI

Autonomous Sweet Mesa Response, benrey/gordon: THIS FIC IS SOOO FUCKING FIREEEEE !!! OH MY GOD, I can't even count the times I've read this one. their dialogue is as good as it comes next to canon. If you like this one, this is the first in a huge series and litearlly all of them are just as good as the first. such a good sit down and binge author. They also have a shit ton of other good hlvrai stuff on their page and they make fire art

If You Asked Me To, benrey/gordon: the way they wrote the sex scene in this changed my brain forever, it was so fucking awesome.... frenrey dynamic makes me WILD

Whispers and Moans, barney/gordon: this whole author has a lot of super cute freehoun :'[ this one deals with them before the resonance cascade AND after and shows how things changed between them and its so precious grrraah

Promise, barney/gordon: again, deals with the timeskip stuff which just always makes my heart hurt... also shower sex smiles

It’s Only Natural, barney/gordon: I DIDNT REALIZE THIS FIC JUST GOT FINISHED THIS YEAR OH MY GODDDD I WAS OBSESSED WITH THIS need to reread this immediately

Team Fortress 2

He's a Rebel, sniper/spy: SUPER fucking cheesy and corny but oh my god its like one of my fav fics ever..... it's just so much fun, like stereotypical fanfic and that's always a good time to me. biker gang member/school teacher au are you fucking kidding me i'll vomit

It IS the Size That Matters, sniper/spy: erm.... BLOWJOBS!! always find myself coming back to this one sorry i really like it hehe

Secure, demo/solider: Not a lot of fics of these guys, which really sucks!! super underrated ship. I liked this one a lot tho, its pretty cute and a little emotional

Something to Rely On, sniper/spy: casual sex but really sniper is in love will forever be my favourite thing ever, it never gets old istg

The Silent Game, sniper/spy: can you tell I really like sniperspy, MORE BLOWJOBS!!!

Disco Elysium

The Collision in Cardiozone HQ, harry/kim: holy. fucking. shit. actually life changing i am not joking. so fucking heartbreaking, it left me hollowed out for like a WEEK after the ending. A longer one for sure, but SO worth it like oh my god

The Catacomb Killer, harry/kim: I don't think I ever fully finished this one, but I remember REALLY liking the whole case the fic was set around. there was so much thought put into it, it was genuinely interesting like a murder mystery show

Retour à nouveau, harry/kim: I did really like the whole plot and buildup in this one, but from what I remember, them getting together was super anticlimatic :P i recall being disappointed, but the whole actual case and their interactions during the fic are super cute

Mortal Kombat 1

the game of idiocy, johnny/kenshi: BY THE SAME AUTHOR AS BITTERSUITE!! this one is sooo fucking cute, the way they write them interacting is so much fun. a little troupey and on the cheesier side, but cmon who doesn't love that

Undertale

Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach: no ships but delves a lot into flowey and papyrus relationship and there's so much good sans development too. SUPER GENERIC, it IS one of the most liked fics, but I remember reading it back when I was a teenager and it blew my fucking mind. ghhghggh i love the way they write the brothers interacting so much

The Party Incident and Other Embarrassing Anecdotes, sans/reader: uhmm.... soo sorry, this fic will forever hold a special little place in my heart. I'm sure if I read it now it would be SO corny cus oh my god it was fucking 2016 like are you kidding, but I'm just a fucking sucker for fake dating. there like 5000000 troupes in this one and theyre all so cute and its just a fun and silly time. it subconsciously inspires so much of my writing in fics. will probably forever be unfinished before they get together though HAHAH so definitely do not read if you're looking for a solid ending. its just about the journey i swear