#ill probably delete this in the morning but

[i-cant-cast-that-yet]

Y'know, I read a lot of Jiuyuan--or really just anything Shen Jiu in general, and Id like to pitch this idea to the class:

Disciple Shen Jiu who fuckin haaates men, right? Shen Jiu who goes to brothels to sleep bc he just can't around the other boys knowing full well how shit his reputation is bc of it but Fuck You he's gonna do what he has to to get some fucking rest on this shit ass peak of pretentious rich-kids who wouldn't know the tip of their sword from the hilt unless it was jammed in their throats--

Disciple Shen Jiu who's seen just about every flavor of man in the streets both from his nights with his jiejie's and from his time with the Qiu and the slavers, and loathes them with a passion and is, shamefully in his mind, afraid of them.

Standoffish, rude, holier than thou, venom spitting queen with a cruel streak a thinly veiled mile wide, Shen Jiu. A scum villain in the making.

Enter Disciple Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan, in all his millennial transmigrator glory. Hikkikomori ass lame ass chokes on a meatbun and fucking croaks after reading a porn harem web novel for the fucking plot (cough-lbh-cough) Shen Yuan.

This rando ass dude with Shen Jiu's family name--no they aren't related stop asking, Shen Yuan why do you look grossed out do you wanna fight??--

Shen Yuan who doesn't get close to any of his shijie's, bc "Oh they're all gonna be in Bingge's harem at some point, I don't wanna steal the protagonists wives!!"

Shen Yuan, a shut-in nerd in his early to mid 20s, who also shirks any of his shixiong's attention for other reasons. He's not big on sports in the first place, and as cool as swords are they're fucking heavy!!! Where's the training montage skip button, system!?!? All this (ugh) comraderie...he just wants to stay in the library and pretend the scrolls are as interesting as zhongdian was, okay?

Shen Jiu, who sees these avoidant traits in a boy with his name and a face that looks like his and assumes Shen Yuan has the same traumas as him.

He hates men, Shen Yuan included for both the happenstance of his birth and also because he's an idiot, but now he's seeing more of him reflected in this dude and it itches.

Maybe he bullies Shen Yuan like he does Binghe. Maybe Shen Yuan, who isn't actually a teenager in his own head like lbh was and fucking hates the scum villain (he called for castration in one life and he'll do it again!! This life gave him cultivation and a sword, he'll get creative if he has to) fights back.

Puts all that time in the forums to good use and verbally eviscerates the guy. Hits on several sore topics all at once and if it wasn't for the very public scene being caused Shen Jiu might have killed this upstart instead of just throwing a punch and jumping him like he currently is.

And listen. Fighting between peaks is typical. The Qing Jing peak lord of the time could care less if Shen Jiu fights the Liu kid from Bai Zhan--there's history between the peaks as it is. But the two Shens beefing so publically?? That's bad for Qing Jing's image.

Shen Jiu might be hated, but Shen Yuan is adored by several key figures across the sect and this Shizun can't tell if the brat did it on purpose or not but it's troublesome either way. Shen Jiu is here on Zhangmen-shixiong's head disciples request, so she can't get rid of either of them.

So she strategizes. It's like her whole thing.

Qing Jing peak lord-jie sticks the Shen's in the xianxia equivalent of the get along shirt. She makes them go on missions together, do chores together, etc. They'll either snap and kill one another or become friends. She wins either way.

It's bad at first. Blood is drawn, fans are thrown and broken over heads. They're too alike and too different and Shen Jiu sees himself in this kid but also every rich boy who wastes their own potential and privilege that they can't realize they were blessed with and he haaates it. Shen Yuan is pissed bc this ass is cruel and awful but so fucking sympathetic once he's spent enough time around the guy to put some pieces together. Bro loves a problematic blorbo and Binghe was a lot of things in pidw, but the product of Shen Jiu's projection is chief among them and Shen Yuan is getting a whole lot of it right now and it puts a lot into perspective.

...................

This is getting away from me now. It's late. Maybe I'll pick this up later.

[phonification]

something something about worth

[charleemoon]

having an episode so i stole my brother's roommates 46% alcohol downed a sip and it made my pressure headache worse. so i drank more to get rid of it. yes problem solver is on my resume

[blondepomeranian]

"hot", but in a Tired Milf kind of way.

[princekirijo]

World's most frustrating feeling: having multiple ideas and character designs but despite working on the thing for nearly 5 YEARS still being nowhere close to having a coherent plot 💀

[y-vna]

Ty for 400!

It may be 1:30am, but honestly, I just felt like I wanted to write this. Thank you for 400 followers!! That's crazy. I'm super thankful, and honestly, it means a lot to me! <3 super excited for more to come, I hope my moodboards rn are up to standards!

I'm not tagging anyone this time since I don't want to disturb everyone every time I write one of these. Just know all my mooties and idols r amazing, and I love them. You guys know who you are, ily 💕

Just a boring text post for this milestone post cuz I can't be bothered rn ahh

Teeny Itty bitty vent in tags since I can't get my life tghtr rn erm! Don't feel pressured to read it, idrc ig?? 😭😭

[hollowfacility]

Agh, I've been feeling kinda distant to people lately. It's probably my fault for not really reaching out, but I also kinda feel it online. Idk, im probably feeling like this because I havent slept lol. I feel really bad for needing validation and reminders that people like me, but it's easy to get just by doing simple things, which you would think means that people do like me, but it just feels fake and cheap, and I dont want to ask too much of people, so it feels like im caught between feeling like shit because I constantly need validation and feeling like im a fake friend because the things that get me validation are simple for me to do. Im not doing them just to get validation, but the fact that I get it makes it feel like im taking advantage of someone, when its just really that they like the things I do. Idk, ill probably delete this if I remember to

[boatemboys]

made of stardust

[lonestarss]

god. tighnari pressing kisses and sucking bruises into cyno's skin, firm and caring hands holding cyno close and tight and warm against him. cyno grabbing at him and trembling a little bit, desperately pleading for him to keep going and going until teeth sink into his skin and tighnari can taste copper. until he has the formidable general mahamatra whining like a dog under him

[littleporksausage]

Remember how tumblr was full of tips and advice for texas snowstorms and uk and canada heatwaves

And even uk flooding

I remember

[atlasglobe]

ok listen. im sorry in advance for this rant, but ive noticed a really frustrating trend in the QSMP community which i just wanted to talk about a little? short disclaimer ik it's mostly just a very loud minority doing this, most people in this community are lovely and have no ill will.

I feel like the women in QSMPs stories are often used in fanon to further aid the male ccs stories? if that makes sense? My perspective is definetly biased because im a baghera viewer and i feel like she gets this to an EGREGIOUS degree. rather than being seen as a whole character with motivations, it feels a lot like people just wanna use her to further others character arcs (mainly bbh and forever). Despite having an entire arc revolving around discovering she came from the federation (which challenged all of her characters core beliefs and morals), all people seem to want her to do is go fix bbhs problems and go be besties w forever <3, like bro give her room to BREATHE.

Honestly it even happened in the most recent ordem paranormal stream, it felt like Lucie's death was just reduced to further character development for benito? Which just makes me a bit sad since baghera mentioned having bigger plans for her character.

i dunno. i dont have a huge point to this rant, i just find it so frustrating. ccs like baghera and jaiden have shown that they are more than capable of creating such incredible and compelling characters, but it feels like they hardly get the chance to explore those characters.

[miscellaneoussmp]

My Morning Crew Soul Eater au won the poll, but I'm feeling a bit unmotivated at the moment, I apologize. I'm gonna actually turn on my asks for once, so y'all can talk to me about it (or anything else, really).

[ajaxxx-x]

“Kyle Rayner is so soft. He would never hurt anybody”

Shut up. Yes he would. He’s so angry and he represses that anger by putting on a friendly smile and by keeping it all inside untile it’s too much and in the end he just explodes.

These panels are very dear to me because what they show is Kyle having one the hardest time in his life. He has met his father after years of researching for him, with him he also found out a new aspect of himself and his origins that he doesn’t have the time to explore, but before that he asked his girlfriend to marry him, taking the big step that he could never do either with Alex or Donna and she turned him down, he becomes some sort of willpower god and try to fix everything he thinks is wrong in the universe, which also includes giving Jen her powers back and repairing john’s spine making him walk again and also tracking down his father. Eventually he decides to use his powers to rebuilt OA and the guardians therefore giving them up. Eventually Terry gets beaten up almost to death by some homophobes and Kyle, who’s no longer ion, realises he can’t do nothing to help his friend, he helped everyone in the whole universe who needed it and if only he had kept his powers a little longer he could’ve healed Terry too.

He feels helpless so he does the only thing green lantern can do at that moment, catch the bad guys.

[just-spacetrash]

.

[massiveladycat]

when you used to be the smartest one in the classroom but you're slowly starting to fade away but now you and everyone else have increasingly higher expectations for you

[halogalopaghost]

I've felt really good the last few days (relative to how I normally feel). I had a megameltdown on Tuesday, I think, and felt better since then. It's made me question myself and wonder if my symptoms aren't caused by an illness but instead are stress or...something else? How is it that I cry for like an hour straight and then feel better?

Well, for one, my parents caught me in the act of exploding. So they've been very attentive to me and especially in helping make sure I eat in the last few days. Here's the other thing though.

I have been...SO STRESSED at not being enough. I can't help, can't write, can't sleep, can't drive siblings places (at this point in typing, my forearm is cramping and painful) can't wash dishes etc etc etc. And I kind of just gave up on Tuesday. Since then I have pretty much not done anything but feed myself, care for my dog, play Minecraft with my brother, and write. That's just literally all I've been doing. So maybe the reason I'm feeling better is that I gave myself permission to rest? I don't really know. It may also be the increase on my ssri.

Im scared of my symptoms being middle-ground. If it gets better enough to be tolerable, but not better enough to work effectively. I guess that's because I spent all of 2023 in that place and it was awful. Working and then doing nothing except sleep at home. Every day, too exhausted to function. Right now, not working, I'm at least happy enough to do things I love (when the brainfog lifts enough). I don't want to go back to pressing myself fruitlessly.

I guess I'll get another symptoms/illness check next week, because I'm driving a long distance (known trigger for pain) to go to a concert (known trigger for fatigue) SOOOOO we'll see lmao