#ill never stop having feelings about this show
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botanicallyinclinednerd · 9 months ago
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Watching the end of Black Sails and thinking, "This was all avoidable."
Rewatching the beginning of Black Sails and knowing, "It was always inevitable."
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lucabyte · 5 months ago
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So does anybody else ever think about how Loop felt the need to demonstrate that the party's deaths wouldn't have any effect on the loops. I know I do but that's besides the point. Anyway I don't think Loop actually needs to bathe, they just like to feel included.
#'but lucabyte didnt you already do a comic with this exact same message? that loop has potentially killed their party intentionally before?'#yes i did absolutely do that thank you for noticing. that is what the cannibalism comic is about. no that was not a metaphor. lol#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#lucabyteart#ill ramble elsewhere some other time. maybe in a text post. but. long and short of it: even if you assume the answer to 'how do they know'#is that in sasasap isa got frozen once. theres still the fact that the loops are from sif being too distressed. how far gone does a siffrin#have to be before they can witness a party member die and notice it has no effect. how does loop feel to have planned to kill the party#during act 3. why did they NEED to show sif that. are they trying to preemtively stop them from getting the idea in their head#that maybe that might work? when they're out of all other options? when they just get so frustrated and at wits end?#loop helps in subtle ways through the whole game. and in less subtle ways like begging sif not to use the dagger. and while yes the#overarching reason you need to learn that the loops are tied to sif is because you need to figure out wish craft.... loop doesn't know the#actual mechanics of the loops themselves. just what didn't work. the power of friendship. getting the final hit in. being perfect. etc...#and besides all that.. how did loop feel during that hangout. being so deceitful. especially since before the other shoe drops#sif is enjoying themselves. but they know what's coming the whole time.#as for: why bathing? its the obvious imagery for blood on their hands/washing/never being clean. and is a bit of an inversion of the other#piece i just drew with the other casual closeness and nudity being kind. this one is cruel instead.#anyway tag ramble over ill do a masterpost of all my fanwork with some directors commentary sometime i promise. since i know im often vague
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ebonytails · 4 months ago
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sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.
The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.
You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.
I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN
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louve-garoue · 1 day ago
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Ok sorry everyone I was gonna put this in the tags but then tumblr then went end erased half of it, which I had to rewrite so now you get it to have here :D ! Here we go :DD !
You ! You get it !
Twilight Princess has such an interesting story around Power. You seek it out with the Fused Shadow despite seeing exactly what harm and unwanted changes it could cause. whetever it be to those fighting against it or to those that dares touch it (hi there Fyrus and Wolf Link). And to make it even clearer Lanaryu give you a very graphic yet metaphorical warning to be careful with it.
And yet you don't hesitate to seek it. Even though it the same kind of power that attacked your home. You see how powerful it is and fighting fire with fire is the only plan you have. You see how dangerous it can be for both the wielder and the people around them and yet it's your only option. The Light World was so clearly beaten what else is there but seeking Shadows or admitting defeat.
And you refuse to admit defeat. And once you get to the second part of the game to find the Mirror Shards, you're confronted to those thoughts all over again. You have to go find the Master Sword. You have to go seek power yet again.
But it’s the power of Light this time. The same power that nearly killed Midna a few days ago. But still you go for it, and you get the Curse Out. And then instead of destroying you decide to keep and use it for yourself. Because it was powerful and you got it with you now so why would you throw it away. And just like that you are reclaiming what was used to hurt you. You reclaim the curse but you also reclaim your wolf form and Midna now no longer have to be a shadow in the Light Realm. You saw that Power was dangerous but you refuse let your fear of it control you (or to fear it at all), refuse to let it stop you from using something that will help you saves those you love. And on the way of doing just that you discover the beauty of what your people would simply dismiss as harmful and evil.
But still Power is dangerous, even if it’s not Evil and nothing teach you that better that Matornia (Yeta in English) and Blizzarnia, the first boss you have to fight to get the Mirror Shards. Now the Twilight Mirror is meant to be a get. It’s not a weapon, it’s not meant to harm and it’s certainly not evil, but it is powerful. And Power corrupts, change people. And so in the hand of people who don’t know of their power they became dangerous. It makes Matornia ills, attracted monsters and yet Matornia herself is fond of it and is reluctant to give it away, up until Power overtake her. Still even if dangerous, it’s not evil. The Twilight Mirror just need extra care and caution when handling them. And now finding them is not just about you getting power, it’s also about stopping people who don’t know to be careful from getting hurt, from getting changed or corrupted. You have been warned, the rest of the world have not. And you and Midna know what you are doing, know how to make sure the Mirror won’t bring harm to anyone else. The Mirror isn’t evil, it’s just been Misplaced, just like the Twilight Realm has been in the first half of the game.
And when it’s finally time for you two to unleash the power you earned throughout your journey to defeat Xanto (Zant), Midna is horrified by how much she had, how easy it was to kill. Perhaps it’s why she never let power overtake her. Power by itself is neutral, not evil nor good, like you said it’s just a tool. A tool that can show all it’s possibilities used by capable hands.
Anyway all that to say that 1. This comic is awesome and 2. This may feel like it comes from nowhere, but this blog is a “Tp Link (or Midna) got the Triforce of Power after defeating Ganondorf” Supremacy household. First because he deserve it and also it’s literally how it works ! You defeat the dude with a piece of the Triforce and you get to take it for yourself ! Come on I don’t make the rules ! Join me !
Anyway thank you for coming to my long-ass rant and fuck you tumblr.
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power
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Boy King Seb :D
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#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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qqueenofhades · 3 days ago
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I think this is a very useful analysis that helpfully puts into words some of the scattered thoughts I've had, but have not been able to centralize, articulate, or otherwise had the spoons to offer post-election.
The one thing Bernie has not gotten and never gotten, even with all his Champion of the Working Class cosplay crusading (as a wealthy Vermont millionaire who has accomplished very little during his long tenure in office aside from repeatedly fracturing the Democratic party), is that a lot of the American working class see billionaires (as pointed out above) as aspirational role models, not evil parasites. Scholars can and indeed have written many long sociological, political, and analytical papers about the "What's the Matter with Kansas?" problem, wherein working class and poor people vote against their own economic interests in order to elevate grifting xenophobic populists whose policies only benefit the already-rich. For one thing, this presupposes the "rational individual" economic-maximization model of human behavior, which was popularized in the free-market 1970s and 80s, and has never been true in any meaningful sense, but as pointed out above: America is addicted to the "hard work makes you rich and billionaires have clearly worked to earn their wealth" mindset. They are equally addicted to the "temporarily dispossessed millionaire" fallacy, wherein if they too just Pull Themselves Up By The Bootstraps, that is the only thing stopping them from being equally wealthy. It's not, but we're still absolutely throttled by the "Republicans Are Better For The Economy" myth that just played a huge part in Trump's second election win. What's empirically "real" or not matters less and less.
Bernie's brand of faux-leftist populism is so toxic in America precisely because it pairs this apparent destruction of the American Dream (hey why do you want to destroy my chance of becoming a billionaire?!) with virulent anti-American tankie-lite rhetoric spouted by the online left, who see America as the source of all evil in the world despite benefiting enormously from their upbringing in America and access to American privilege. We can (and again, have!) written many, many papers about the founding and continuing social ills embedded in America: its establishment on the back of slavery, racism, genocide, and so on. But when it comes to day-to-day electoral politics, the average mid-to-low-information American voter does not give a shit about complicated historical debates and generational injustices. They just don't. They care about how much things cost at the grocery store and what the vibes "feel" like to them. After a brief upsurge of social acceptance in 2020 with BLM/George Floyd, they've also lost interest in dealing with systemic racism, and are inclined to accept Trump's easy-scapegoating rhetoric. This is not limited to white people either; witness the major gains he made with Hispanics in particular. The ones who are able to vote in presidential elections are US citizens and see themselves as safely insulated from Trump's mass-deportation policies because they're not undocumented (even if they have friends and relatives who are and who are very much NOT safe). They want to preserve their own piece of the pie and are not acting in grand pan-Latino racial solidarity. Nobody says they have to -- they can focus on their own personal interests just as much as white voters -- but they're definitely one of the communities who are in the soonest for a rude wakeup call.
Looking at the election results shows that America is, as ever, an extremely divided country. This election was not a landslide for Trump. The Republicans benefited from an extremely favorable map to pick up WV, OH, MT, PA in the Senate, but added no House seats and still have a tiny majority of about 3 (which may shrink further with special elections and/or unexpected departure). Trump got 49.9% of the vote; Harris got around 48.5%. The American electorate is not left-wing; it is also not immutably right-wing. It is primarily transactional, "what have you done for me lately," and cursed with low information literacy, sophisticated disinformation campaigns, and short-term memory that is worse than a goldfish. Abortion passed everywhere except in FL (where it needed 60% and got 57%). As ever, the public liked Democratic policies, but voted for Republicans to punish Democrats for not implementing them fast enough. That is one of the most maddening paradoxes in all of American politics and it fucked us good this time, but that's the twist of the screw. The Republicans also benefited from the post-COVID anti-incumbency that kicked Trump out in 2020. A lot of the scary things that happened in the last four years -- rising prices, ongoing threats to democracy, Dobbs, the wars in Ukraine and Gaza, etc -- were not necessarily Biden's fault, but they happened on his watch and contributed to the sense of visceral fear and threat that is always a better predictor of electoral behavior than the flawed idea of Rational Economic Maximization.
As such, despite the avalanche of "What Democrats Must Do Now" postmortems, we should definitely point out that Bernie instantly threw them under the bus for not being "pro-worker," when the Biden administration was the most pro-worker, pro-labor, and anti-corporate in recent history (and due to the electoral backlash it received as a result, quite possibly for a very long time). Bernie primarily conceives of the American working class as white people, often white men, engaged in customary trade-union pursuits, which is outdated and inadequate and reeks of the rancid "the left wasn't nice enough to fragile insecure white men" takes that are latently or openly misogynist. Biden did a hell of a lot to address their economic interests, and they punished him for it, because what is at stake, in their minds, isn't actually their economic interest (even if that's what is often used to describe it) but their position of unquestioned power as white men. They will happily give up the chance of better economic policies if it means continuing to assert their authority over other marginalized people; their lot might not be great, but at least they're still white. And indeed, still men. Bernie complaining that the Democrats didn't cater enough to White Men is, objectively, bullshit.
As such, I can tell you that one way that the Democrats can get back to electoral relevancy, which is definitely likely in 2026 and 2028 if we can get that far, is not by listening to Bernie. "Destroy the billionaires" paired with toxic tankie rhetoric driven by the online left competing with each other to be more extreme and unpleasant is electoral poison and that's why Bernie's chronic campaigning got him nowhere and fatally splintered the Democratic party in 2016, allowing Trump to win in the first place. It's a dud. The end. There is nothing positive or constructive in that vision, and while riding aggrieved populism can get you decently far, it also has to be a populism that's rooted in some idea of America, however shallow and lip-service. "Make America Great Again," despite how much Trump does to destroy America in every conceivable sense, works because MAGAts wave American flags and feel like a righteous and integral part of their country. The fact that in this election cycle, Democrats actually embraced love-of-country rhetoric, American flags, and appeals to fundamental "American" values, no matter how cringy and schmaltizily-nationalistic it feels to educated liberals, is an important part of getting that ground back. It promotes the idea that you can love America (however defined) and vote Democratic, and we can't give that up. Because then yeah, everyone waving the flag will be a jingoistic MAGA fascist, and people who like and respond to that imagery (which is a decent majority of ordinary Americans) will want to associate with them by default.
Likewise: a lot of online leftist/Bernie Bro rhetoric focuses on the magical revolution fantasy that America will just disappear and/or be Gloriously Overthrown and thus, somehow, all injustice from the tyrannical government will come to an end and we will live in a perfect utopia forevermore! (Uh, ask the Bolsheviks how that worked out for them.) America is an enormously flawed historical and geopolitical entity, but one thing it is not going to do is suddenly disappear overnight because of deranged Moral Purity Posting by so-called leftist keyboard warriors. It still matters how its massive power is used, and as anyone with a brain cell was well aware beforehand, Trump is only going to abuse it ever more egregiously. He will try to stay in office (if he doesn't die beforehand); he will pack SCOTUS with more corrupt toadies; he will do his best to wreck anything and everything that stymied him last time. He will undoubtedly succeed in at least some of that, and that is very scary. However, as I have said before, his total success is neither inevitable nor even very likely. If we are going to continue to hold the line and find victories where they come, we need to do a lot of things, but chief among them is not listen to Bernie F'n Sanders. He can, indeed, take several seats.
Bernie is wrong. He has always been wrong and is still wrong. The flaw in his theory is what he deems the “wealthy elite” versus what everyday Americans consider them to be. Voters don’t see all billionaires as the elites. They see college-educated liberals on the coasts, some of whom are billionaires, as elites.
Bernie-style populism didn’t land because billionaires figured out long ago they could undermine it by being socially right-wing, and the working class would forgive their wealth and privilege. That’s why this same demographic is willing to make it rain for grifters like Joel Osteen and Pat Robertson. That’s why they worship the wealthiest man on the planet like a God and consider him some real-life Tony Stark. People dismissed Donald Trump as a shameless attention-hungry New York oligarch until he called Mexicans rapists. Then he shot up to the top of the GOP primary polls. The working class didn’t think much of Elon Musk until he said “pronouns suck.” Then he became their hero. A scion of working-class Pennsylvania lost his US Senate seat last week to a hedge fund manager from Connecticut. West Virginia elected their richest man to the Senate after electing him governor – as a Democrat and later a Republican. Ohio tossed out their longtime Democratic senator, known for his strong support of labor rights, for – literally, no joke – a used-car salesman.
You can’t tell me the working class in America thinks being a billionaire alone is what makes one a “wealthy elite.” There are significant factors at play here Bernie is either oblivious to or purposely ignorant of.
In college, a professor once told me that Communism never succeeded in the United States because we are too religious and proud as a country. Religion, traditions, and culture were never widely discredited the way they were in Europe and Asia, where the clergy and nobility kept the bourgeoisie in figurative chains for centuries. The relative ease of social mobility made America unique compared to its Western counterparts. Historically, American progressivism has been focused on expanding social mobility – initially limited to only white men – to identity groups who had been denied it at the start: blacks, women, and immigrants. We have done it, with various amounts of success. While it may seem counterintuitive, Americans pride themselves in being the nation that pioneered the idea that wealth and status can be achieved through ingenuity and hard work and not just based on a lucky roll of the genetic dice, as it was in the Old World. It doesn’t mean we don’t have generational wealth in our country; we do, but since it isn’t the sole way to achieve wealth and power, we don’t care nearly as much about destroying all of it. Further, we will happily endorse it if the oligarchs and the aristocrats vow to promote and protect the social values we care about and the social hierarchy that benefits us.
It’s one of the reasons I believe Bernie could never beat Trump. If you ask working-class people what they want: an anti-immigrant, anti-intellectual billionaire or a Vermont socialist backed by kids from Harvard and UC Berkeley who hate our traditions and customs, the working class will always back the billionaire.
–Nick Rafter, "Bernie Sanders Can Take a Seat"
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shalom-iamcominghome · 8 months ago
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Honestly, my stance on antisemites is that I wish for them what they wish for jews. If you are willing to give up your sense of humanity as a trade-in for the hatred and destruction of your fellow human, it seems like a fair price to pay. I've gotten caught up in, generally, finding any way to treat antisemites better than they treat us/jews as a whole, but... they are the ones who traded in a piece of humanity for a selfish, ulterior motive.
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melloneah · 18 days ago
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ill answer ur asks soon my lovelies thank u sm for sending them in<3
another rant in tags im so sorry tw death again
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mcalhenwrites · 3 months ago
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I'm not going to pretend it doesn't make me angry that I spend months and years trying to peddle my work to make ends meet, that I spend so much time mentioning my books and comms and everything, and people ignore that consisently... But the moment I finally break under the hopelessness - when it's obvious that it's fucking futile, that almost no one deems my work good enough to share with anyone else - suddenly they're concerned and scolding me. I'm working several jobs, bathing, generally keeping things clean, and I do this with several health problems including chronic pain. I found out that one of my cysts is growing and I may need to have it surgically removed. Which means potentially missing work to recover. Which means more money I lose. I spend so much time crawling out of the hole and it goes ignored, but the moment I just give up bc I don't have any strength left, suddenly that's my fault and I'm mentally sick. And that kind of makes me wish my entire situation upon people, and when they whine that it's hard, well fuck you, you thought I could ace it so surely you can, babe! I hate being angry about this, but it's just so exhausting to tell people who accuse me of not trying that I HAVE I HAVE SO FUCKING HARD AND YOU DID NOT PAY ATTENTION THEN Or you know you're attempting to gaslight me by claiming I didn't try despite that I obviously have worked my ass off trying, and that's so much fucking worse
#mcalhen personal#and I'm not saying I'm not mentally ill but ffs stop using it as a weapon to discredit people when they have the solutions right there#feels like people hate my writing and me and that's why I didn't go “I got the job” bc friends who never support me would be like#“I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU CONGRATS” cool I'm not I spend an entire day usually recovering from very calm shifts at a job I like#but the moment I publish a book it's not congrats it's I don't know this guy I don't know Cal and I'm gonna pretend I never saw anything#I don't even hate my goddamn job even tho it can be stressful but it's the easiest thing for mostly just 2 days a week#but it is not sustainable and I cannot survive on this and disability would be invasive as hell and y'all don't know shit about how they#treat disabled people in this country but goddamn I have watched that shit unfold with my autistic brother who can't work#and I can never help him at this rate#bc I can't help myself#I can't help anyone#and saying that is a big fucking issue with people who think if they say 'it gets better keep going' I'll magically unfuck my life#as if I haven't spent the entirety of my life trying to unfuck things#as if I didn't give myself an education in spite of my family#y'all never been threatened with physical violence bc you weren't supposed to ask for school supplies and it fucking SHOWS#I have learned so many things on my own time out of sheer desire to better myself and my situation#but at a point where nothing works out and each day is just filled with more bad news#at what point am I actually allowed to give up?#or am I supposed to just keep this up until I die with 40 more years of collected bullshit pain#bc if you want me to live like this for 40 years then... you never cared at all#and what's so stupid is that I really want to earn my living by doing the work#I work on my art and writing but let's just admit that it's pathetic already#no mental health services or pills will erase that I'm a pathetic garbage can of uselessness#also I realize no one owes me anything like boosting my work or w/e#but also don't ask me to turn rotten ingredients into a feast and say I'm not trying when I can't fucking do it
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prestonmonterey · 9 months ago
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so i COULD review my blocking bc we have probably the first full run through tomorrow..... or i could review my music bc that needs a TON of fucking work and just like pray that future me is gonna actually remember to review my blocking during free block or collab instead of rambling about vat7k....
or i could do neither and make a cover of dead princesses go to heaven
guess what im gonna be doing
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months ago
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Dude ur cosplays are genuinely so good 😭. I don't think I could cosplay anyone from RGG because I look too fem for it, but you're killing it!
AW thanks fam that means a lot :']] tbh if you really want to cosplay a character, you should go for it! even if you dont plan to go anywhere or do anything crazy, even just putting on the outfits is pretty fun :]
#snap chats#tbh ive never been super happy about doing cosplays cause i always felt like my face and whatnot never fit the charas i wanted to cosplay#though for me i just accepted that My Face And My Body is My Face And My Body and i didnt want those to stop me from cosplayin#cause it is fun to just dress up as a chara- its esp fun goin to cons and gettin recognized. once in a blue moon VLKAEVCJAELK#im too dicked to put make up on too but its so worth it .. it really does help if you feel your face isnt facing yk what i mean#like fuck man ig they were onto somethign with making make up#tbh whenever i feel awkward bout cosplaying i remind myself its just for fun and im not trying to do anything professional#i also remember this one jp girl who cosplayed mr satan from db and like. it was astounding to say the least#yk just tellin myself You Can Do What You Want Dont Worry About This Or That. easier said than done i know JVLKJVKLA#BUT baby steps. all of this said and done i cant wait to actually properly show my daigo and mine cosplays aka include my face#i have to make a silly post around convention time cause i still dont know who to go as so ima need audience input ig💀💀#see now i wanna test wear my daigo stuff again ..#i dont think ill go to animenyc as aoki but idk if ill go as chairman either and if i do do i want to grow my hair out for that ?#my hair's already almost at that point but. //shrug// i have until the end of august LOL#anyways. enough cosplay prattle from me LAKJLVKAJ i enjoy it too much <- take note of the ninety rgg outfits in my closet
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 years ago
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2023 / oh to be such a lesbian that your crush turns into a god and changes the laws of the universe itself in order to change your fate. meduka meguka you truly are like no other.
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perenlop · 2 years ago
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journeys is one of the most disheartening pokeani arcs because you can tell they had a decent setup for it but also that they had no clue what they wanted to do and lost steam partway through
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girlthativealwaysbeen · 1 month ago
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did you know that my dad uses a lighter to light agarbatti like it's a mosquito thing and
#it has different settings right like to control thr level of flame#that tiny slider thingy#so like the guy who works here he showed my dad how to use that#and my dad was like WOAHHHH i didn't know this existed aaj pehli baar dekha maine amd he was all fascinated#and i was trying so hard to control my laugh because i already knew it because my cousin showed it to me when we were smoking#and i tried it on all settings and i remember i did it on the highest setting and the flame was SO HIGH that we both shouted and jumped#back and she took it from me like are u crazy you'll kill us both ye khelne ke liye nahi hai and then we couldn't stop giggling#about how we overreacted#and like#this happened RIGJT after the day i was feeling sad and isolatef about living with my dad alone#like it was all feeling hopeless and dreary and too long to bear#but idk that moment made me realise that he can do what he wants be as over controlling as he likes but at the end of the day#ill always have a happy life separate from him and he'll never know about it and he is literally incapable of stopping me#like if ive done all this INSIDE his house with my chachu's cousin aka the person he hates the most in the world#then imagine the things im going to do when im not living with him😋#also random thought but i think kids who have over strict parents are the ones that fall into bad habits like these drinking and smoking#like people my age in my old office id talked to them and they had absolutely no inclination to drink or smoke??? on their own??????????#cause like it's against their moral values/religion?? 😭😭 like wow wdym u guys have values and are loyal to them#anyway i could be totally wrong and now i REALLY should go
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tronlightcyclerun · 5 months ago
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aaaaughghghhg sometimes i remember that im 17 and theres at least one timeline of me being 17 and in the computer and i was doing the exact opposite of what im doing now . i really just *** **** ********* ** ***** didnt i . what the actual fuck am i doing
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fortunately-bi · 7 months ago
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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