#ill never let go nacho!

[plathski]

rock and hard place - better call saul / garden song - phoebe bridgers / the garden of death - hugo simberg / the roses of heliogabalus - sir lawrence alma tadema / sheep in fog - sylvia plath / martyr in the catacombs - jules cyrille cavé / ophelia - fredrich wilhelm theodor heyser / edvard munch

[hearts4golbach]

The 7Eleven. (Jake Webber x Fem!Reader.)

reccomendation from @dreamcastgirl99 (i cant find their account to tag.)

i traced the lines of jakes tattoos, waiting impatiently for him to get done editing his new video. these always took forever, and i was sick of sitting around and scrolling on tiktok. i traced over the edges of the 3 8-bit hearts on his inner forearm with my nail, gently digging into his skin.

he giggled, "that tickles."

i rolled my eyes," you need to hurry! im so bored and im ready to go on our date. its our 5 year anniversary." i reminded him.

"im just as excited as you are." he gently kissed my forehead, "im finishing up the lsdt bit, then we can go. go get your shoes and shit on."

i yawned and did as told without any response. as i walked away, jake suspisciously pulled out his phone and began texting. i decided to think nothing of it, shrugging it off and grabbing my favorite beat up converse. i pursed my lips together as i laced up my shoes, suddenly nervous. jake had been distant recently, but nothing had changed in our relationship prior, as far as i knew, my stomach tingled.

"you okay, babe? you got weirdly quiet." jake called. i heard footsteps coming my way.

"yeah, sorry, i was just thinking." i looked up at him, giving him an awkwrd smile before tying up my other shoe.

"ill be right back." he said, walking out of the bedroom. he came back quickly, jangling the keys in his hand. "ready, babe?"

I nodded and he grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers in line. no matter what Jake did or how long we were together, I still got butterflies like the first week we began dating. over the years, jake had never lost any enthusiasm in the relationship. yeah, he had his rough days with work but he was never difficult with me.

the sun was just starting to go down. I hopped in the passenger seat of Jake's car and quickly strapped on my seat belt. "are we stopping by 7-Eleven?" I asked.

"always." he smirked, reversing out of the driveway and turning down onto the street.

me and Jake met at 7-Eleven. I was having a sjitty day and yelled at him because he was taking too long to get his nachos. he felt bad and paid for my nachos, against my protests, and ended up getting my number. I'm sure you can guess how the rest of that went.

jake turned our mixed playlist on shuffle, turning it up loud before rolling the windows down. keeping one hand on the wheel, jake let his arm rest outside of the window. the warm, late summer breeze spilled in through the windows. I heard crickets singing their lullabies in the grass, the sound of other cars swooshing past, and the sound of jake humming along to whatever song was playing. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, enjoying the peaceful moment with jake. I pulled out my phone to take a picture of the scenery. tall city buildings were a dark contrast against the setting sun, making me feel warm inside. I posted the photo to my Instagram story and shut off my phone, putting it on do not disturb. jake gently nodded his head along with the song and placed his hand on my thigh, his thumb rubbing circles into my skin. I quickly took a photo of that too, planning to post it later. our soft breaths were in sync as our hair fluttered in the wind. I looked at him and smiled, enjoying every moment and small detail.

we pulled into the parking spot closest to the door and quickly got out. he came around and opened the door for me, placing a kiss on my forehead.

I walked inside, making a b-line for the energy drinks with jake by my side. I got a redbull, per usual, and he got his favorite flavor of monster.

"you should try something else." he teased, gently elbowing me.

I rolled my eyes. "you can't even talk, jakey."

he visibly cringed. he's always hated it when I called him 'jakey' which made it even funnier whenever I did it to shut him up.

he continued to grab our usual snacks, which were just takis and gummy worms before we made our way towards the nachos. he had my combo memorized, as I had his. he made our nachos as I stalked around the aisles, seeing if there were any other things we should try or get again. he found me about a minute later, gesturing for me to come on so we could leave.

as we were walking up to the register, he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "what do you think about going to the park?"

"won't we get butt fucked by mosquitoes?" I asked with a smile.

"I have bug spray, silly." he pursed his lips together and tapped my nose.

I laughed and swatted his hand away. "sounds fun."

as we got back into the car, we repeated the same ritual we always had. music, windows down, and some form of touch. it was a less than 5 minute drive to a small, local park that we have had a couple picnic dates in. picnic dates were my favorite, even though I wasn't an out-doorsy person.

"how are your nachos?" Jake smirked.

"uh, good?" I responded awkwardly, confused at the question.

"youre cute when youre shy, have i ever told you that?" his gaze softened.

i looked down at my food before looking back at him. "yeah," i giggled.

he stood up to throw away the bag and stood in front of me when he came back. "y/n/n, you're the love of my life. I wouldn't have made it as far as I have without you. you're my anchor and I have no idea what I'd do without you." he took my hands.

I laughed awkwardly. "if I didn't have you, I don't know where I'd be." I added. "but, where's this coming from?"

"you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and I know that's corny." he laughed. "but, I love you, y/n." he got down on one knee and reached into his pocket, making my heart skip a beat. the next events happened in slow motion as he pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it up, revealing a beautiful ring. "will you marry me?"

i felt tears begin to sting my eyes. my hands flew over my mouth as i began to cry. i nodded quickly, not able to form any words. i watched as jake took my hand and slid the ring on, making me cry even more.

he hugged me tightly. "this is a haply cry, right?" i nodded again, pulling back to wipe my tears. "i love you, y/n."

"i love you so much more, jake." i stuttered, continuosly wiping tears from my eyes.

"impossible," he rolled his eyes, "come here."

i followed him to a tree near where we weere sitting. he pulled a pocket knife out of his pocket. "are you about to murder me?" i laughed and sniffled.

he rolled his eyes and carved a heart into the tree, adding his initial in the middle before handing it to me. i felt tears threaten to spill once more as i carved a plus sign and my initial in the heart. he took the knife back as i was wiping tears from my eyes and carved the date into the tree.

[je5hko]

~ Beavis and Butthead headcanons!~

okay so i decided ill will post bnbh headcanons from time to time when im not posting art. The headcanons are random btw

TW: GAY PPL(/j), ANGST, GROSS STUFF, ABUSE, HOMOPHOBIA

Beavis eats his boogers, while Butthead has his own personal booger wall (behind the couch)

When they were kids, they would try to cheer each other up/ distract each other from their mothers yelling by making funny faces! Occasionally they would tickle each other as well!

Buttheads mother was absent most of the time, but when she was around she would ignore him. Refusing to believe he was her son. She would even tell him to stop calling her mom. (sobbing afterwards) But whenever Butthead cried, he received a slap on the face. "You are not allowed to cry” or "I’ll give you a reason to cry if you don’t shut up” is all she would say after hitting him. He quickly learned that expressing emotions is wrong, so he simply stopped.

Shirley on the other hand, would look after both of the kids. She was far from being a perfect mother, but there were times she would try to take care of them apart of being drunk all day. For example she occasionally would take them out to eat junk food, give them small presents like cheap action figures, making a vague attempt at showing affection. Basically trying her best at motherhood, but besides that she would often yell at them (mostly Beavis) slap them when they did something wrong etc.

Butthead was the one to learn basic hygiene even though he wasn’t a big fan of it, while Beavis struggled with it as fuck. The blonde would often use the sink/ bathtub instead of toilet, not bothering to clean after himself.

At 17 they tried to give each other stick and pokes. They ended up getting infections with the pen ink and rusty needle.

There are moments when their faces get too close, like when they're both trying to look at something on the TV or sharing a snack. Butt-Head gets flustered and pushes Beavis away, muttering something about personal space.

Sometimes Butt-Head finds himself wanting to do something nice for Beavis, like sharing his nachos or letting him choose what to watch on TV. When this happens, Butt-Head angrily tells himself to "stop being a wuss."

Beavis sometimes finds himself doing little things for Butt-Head, like saving the last chip for him or instinctively waiting for him before going anywhere. He doesn’t know why it feels important to do these things.

Butt-Head often convinces himself that whatever he’s feeling is just a phase or a result of being around Beavis too much, so he starts suggesting they hang out with others more often, though it never actually happens.

Beavis feels a strange sense of comfort when he’s sitting next to Butt-Head, often leaning in a little closer without realizing it. Butt-Head notices and tells him to back off, but deep down he doesn’t really mind.

Butt-Head is more aggressive in trying to pick up chicks than usual, using it as a way to distract himself from his growing feelings for Beavis. He convinces himself that if he gets a girlfriend, these feelings will go away.

Neither of them ever wears matching socks, not because they’re trying to be cool, but because they’ve lost so many pairs.

Butt-Head once wore the same pair of socks for two weeks straight just to see how bad they could smell. He proudly showed them to Beavis, who gagged but couldn’t stop sniffing out of morbid curiosity.

Butt-Head refuses to wash his hair more than once a month because he believes the grease gives him “natural style.” Beavis agrees.

There’s a cup in their room that has had mold growing in it for so long that it’s practically become a pet. They named the mold “Squishy” and take turns seeing who can get closest to it without gagging

They have a secret handshake that’s a combination of a high five, fist bump, and a quick flick of the middle finger, which they think is the coolest thing ever

Beavis and Butt-Head have an odd fascination with roadkill. They’ll sometimes poke at it with sticks or laugh about how “cool” it is.

Beavis sometimes wishes he was more confident like Butt-Head, not realizing that Butt-Head is just as insecure as he is but hides it better.

Beavis suffers from recurring nightmares about losing Butt-Head, being abandoned, or his mother. He tries to mask his fear with jokes, but these dreams deeply affect him.

They both have a subtle, unspoken agreement to look out for one another. When one is sick or down, the other steps in to offer support in their own way, whether it’s through humor or practical help

Beavis has a penchant for combining disgusting food items, like mixing pickles with peanut butter or dipping hot dogs in ketchup and ice cream. He genuinely enjoys these bizarre concoctions.

[buckrecs]

2022 Bucky Barnes Fic Rec 1

masterlist | req masterlist

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

✨ - fav fics

Status - Completed

✨sunrise from @wkemeup

Veteran!Bucky x Librarian!Reader

After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is discharged from active duty and sent back to civilian life. Left with a storm of unchecked guilt, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU)

parent-teacher conference by @coffeecatsandcandles

Single Dad!Bucky x Teacher!Reader

James Barnes, a widowed single dad, had forgotten what love felt like and let it crush him, taking his daughter, Rebecca, with him. He was cold, rude, and arrogant, being one of the few teachers at Westview High School the students seemed to absolutely despise. But when you show up, a hopeful math teacher who’d previously taught Rebecca’s kindergarten class, and are adored by your students and colleagues- James’s attitude starts to change.

whatever it takes by @wienerbarnes

Bucky x Doctor!Reader Doctor AU

The Avengers recruit you, a medical genius of sorts, to help solve the case of an agent who is dying from an unknown illness. You seem to catch Bucky Barnes’ attention.

seven thirty by @nacho-bucky

Single Dad!Bucky x Reader

You were planning on a productive — if lonely — weekend, but the little girl across the hall has different ideas about how you and Bucky Barnes should be spending your time.

call me when you want by @bonky-n-steeb

Bucky x Reader

When you call a sex hotline with a need to be dominated you don’t expect to meet (or hear) someone as wonderful as James. but your life becomes a complicated mess as you already love your coworker, Bucky Barnes. however, you are unaware that they are actually the same person.

steel blue by @youlightmeupfinn

Professor!Bucky Barnes x Reader

When you experience the most intense night of the summer alongside Bucky, who you nickname Steel Blue, you weren't expecting to fall pregnant. When a positive pregnancy test meets your eyes a few days before school starts, you know it belongs to the man who you'd never see again. Until you walk into your Romanian Linguistics class and he's your professor.

✨heart and soul by @all1e23

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Alphas only brought trouble. The only thing they are good for is bringing their Omega’s pain and forced submission. They were dangerous, reckless and cruel. There wasn’t an ounce of kindness in any of them.  She didn’t need an Alpha, and she certainly didn’t believe in that True Mates fairytale. That was just some fabricated fable Alphas made up to trick innocent doe-eyed Omegas. She wasn’t going to fall for that.  Not again.No Alpha would ever get her to believe that love truly exists. And then, James Buchanan Barnes walked into her life.

✨astrophile by @all1e23

Firefighter!Bucky x Reader Single Dad AU

Orion Rebecca Barnes's favorite thing in the whole world (besides her daddy of course) is spending hours after school in the bookstore by her house and the owner GIVES her any book she wants; she’s the coolest girl Orion has ever met.

✨swallow by @all1e23

Biker!Bucky x Reader

Since he was fifteen years old, Bucky Barnes has only been sure of two things; the club should be the most essential thing in his life, and he’d burn it all down for you.  

between the star by @all1e23

Bucky x Reader Past Steve x Reader Military AU

Struggling with the death of your husband, you find comfort in someone unexpected

the slip up by @justkending

Bucky x Single Mom!Reader

After a last hurrah to graduating college with a future to be a family practitioner, a little slip up happens… Seven years down the road, just when things just now seem to be going smoothly, Y/N approaches that slip up from all those years ago. She’s not looking for anything right now. She is just where she wants to be in life. It seems the universe has a different idea though. One called James Barnes.

✨the love club by @slyyywriting

Bucky x Mob!Reader

Bucky gets initiated into the mob life by accident. He wants out but only the owner can revoke his club membership.

the number one rule by @justkending

Bucky x Rogers!Reader

Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left. But don’t worry, the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized?

✨delicate edges by @wkemeup

Biker!Bucky x Florist!Reader

Your family’s beloved flower shop was not the only thing you inherited when your parents passed. Trapped under a mountain of debt to the Hydra club, you bear the cost of your father’s desperate bargain. It’s only in moments when the charming Bucky Barnes walks into your shop that you can forget the cruelty of the biker clubs of this town. But a war is brewing. The border is crumbling. You're trapped in the middle. And Bucky will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

not me by @simsadventures

CEO!Bucky x Wife!Reader

Billionaire/entrepreneur Bucky is married to seemingly timid and meek wife, the reader. While he hates her with all he has, she tried to act her part as the wife of the big CEO. And while their relationship falls apart more and more, they both realised there might be more to the story than they previously believed. Will they be able to repair the damage that’s been done, or will they find happiness in somebody else’s arms?

✨the perfect fit by @mypoisonedvine

Bucky x Tailor!Reader

bucky needs a new suit (or two) and gets a recommendation from his best frenemy, tony stark.  of course it would turn out that you were his tailor, and further, that bucky would be an awkward stumbling mess as soon as he’s anywhere near you.

seeing red by @mypoisonedvine

Bodyguard!Bucky x Celebrity!Reader

bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

the new recruit by @angstysebfan

Bucky x Reader

You and Bucky have a best friends with benefits relationship, since he is not the “relationship” type. Things go crazy when the new recruit shows up.

✨one last job by @sunriserose1023

Bodyguard!Bucky x Celebrity!Reader

Bucky Barnes is retired. He did a stint in the Army, did a stint as a Secret Service agent, even dabbled in the private sector, but that’s over. Now, he just wants to rest in the solitude he’s found in a cabin in the Adirondacks, with only his memories to get him through the sleepless nights.

✨pride and privacy by @adrinktostopyourthirst

Roommate!Bucky x Reader

Bucky works on himself as he gets used to a roommate. Turns out, she has a much better room than him and he crossed the line.

the right for you by @real-jane

Bucky x Reader Past Steve x Reader

steve leaves you to pursue a life with peggy. bucky is there to pick up the pieces, and build a life you never could've imagined in order to dream of it.

✨for the love of the game by @pellucid-constellations

College Athlete!Bucky x Reader

Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.

✨undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations

Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either.

fragments by @subwaysurf45

Bucky x Reader

You always had a soft spot for innocent people who were viewed as monsters, must have been something in your blood. Nothing changed when you were assigned as the new handler for the Winter Soldier, he had just killed his previous one and you happened to be there at the right time to fill in. But what happens when you meet him years later?

wrong choice right places by @mvtthewmurdvck

Mob!Bodyguard!Bucky x Reader

never wanting to work for him or protect his fiancé, falling for you was the last thing he should do—especially when his boss was zemo, who now ran most of the city.

✨mess is mine by @scrumptious-delusion

Boxer!Bucky x Reader

as a date night surprise, your boyfriend takes you to a boxing match. little does he know, one of the competitors is responsible for breaking your heart five years ago and an accidental encounter is about to send your whole world spinning.

no day but today by @buckysfaveplum

Bucky x Reader

He’s more than content to lock himself away from everyone in the cold emptiness of his apartment. However, the girl in the apartment above him seems to have other plans. The girl who paints on the fire escape and climbs down through his window. The girl who he can’t seem to get enough of.

✨southpaw by @gogolucky13

Boxer!Bucky x Reader

Tied up in the criminal world your godfather has built, you have no reason to leave, until you find one in the man they call Southpaw.

✨ghost of you by @gogolucky13

Bucky x Reader

Bucky has worked hard to come to terms with his past and enjoy the new life he’s been given. But his mind is still plagued by nightmares of what he’s done and by the face of an unknown woman. What happens when the team is tasked with recovering another Winter Solider, causing Bucky’s past and present to collide in the form of the woman from his dreams?

nostalgia for the new by @real-jane

Bucky x Agent!Reader

bucky meets you because of your exquisite taste in music, and he finds in you a solace he didn't realize was possible. you create for bucky something he's never found before: nostalgia for a time that hasn't happened yet, and hope for a future where he might be loved.

✨to have & to hold by @slyyywriting

Single Dad!Bucky x Mob!Reader

Bucky is trying his best to provide and care for his daughter who just entered first grade. Everything was alright until she asks why everyone else seems to have a mom except for her. You’re just a plain mob boss who wants to turn a new leaf. Challenges arise when the world refuses to let you take a softer, non-violent route. A little girl helps you navigate a compromise.(Single Dad!Bucky)

safe with me by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Bodyguard!Bucky x Reader

When an unknown threat enters your life, protection is offered at the highest level. As Bucky Barnes comes into your life, the game changes, and you realise falling for the man tasked with keeping you safe is the last thing you expected.  

teacher’s favorite by @suitk0via

Single Dad!Bucky x Teacher!Reader

You are first grade teacher and Bucky is a single dad who wants to be involved with everything his little girl - Elaine - does. He’s the dad all the parent’s and faculty drool over. You quickly become Elaine's favorite teacher and Bucky's just gotta meet you.

✨stuck wit u by @slyyywriting

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

You and Bucky don’t get along. Your fights have become too destructive so Tony and Steve decide that enough is enough.

touch of ink by @deamstellarus

Tattoo Artist!Bucky x Reader

After a breakup with your ex, you decided to move to the small town where your long-time friend Sam lives, hoping for a change of pace and starting a new chapter in your life. You were prepared for a slower paced lifestyle, quaint diners, and a change of scenery. However, you didn't expect to be swept off your feet by two stunning pairs of blue-grey eyes.  

✨paper walls by @writingcroissant

Neighbor!Bucky x Reader

Your apartment happens to be right next to Bucky's, heads only separated by a paper-thin wall, leading to you witnessing every second of his nightmares. Although, bonding over your late night conversations, you seem to forget that you never even saw him before.    

✨leave this town by @avengerofyourheart

Mechanic!Bucky x Reader

Your dreams of kissing your small town life goodbye are about to come true when an unexpected detour leaves you stranded. Meeting the handsome local mechanic has you rethinking your plans. Perhaps happiness is less about where you’re headed and more about the people you meet along the way.

✨the world of our own by @shreddedparchment

Bucky x Reader Castaway AU

You and a man named Bucky crash land on a deserted island. Can the two of you come together and make it until rescue comes? After you begin to fall for the mysterious Bucky Barnes, will you even want to be rescued?

yours, mine, ours by @coffeecatsandcandles

Single Dad!Bucky x Single Mom!Reader

Bucky Barnes has been raising his girls, Rebecca and Winnie, for the last two years. He'd lost all hope of falling in love again until he met you, a pediatrician with two children of your own- Elliot and Willow. He falls in love and he falls hard, but the challenges of being single parents still weigh on you both at times. Luckily, you'll always have each other.

we’ll meet again by @coffeecatsandcandles

Bucky x Reader

You fell in love with Bucky Barnes in 1940. He was your everything, until he was taken from you. You’ll meet him again, just not in the way either of you expected…

✨run to me by @sgtjbuccky

Mob!Bucky x Reader

In where you’ve always had a habit of ending up in situations you shouldn’t, and when you caught the eye of the man who ran New York, Bucky Barnes, your life changed. They warned you about him, but the one thing they never warned you about was how you’d always want to run to him.

trick question by @nacho-bucky

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

It’s a weekly battle of wills for Bucky and the Reader, as they navigate the stunning pressure that is pub trivia. Can these obdurate opponents find any middle-ground?

the diner by @bolontiku

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Working at a diner as a waitress, struggling to make bills and take care of the kid your sister left you, one night you meet James.

relax by @kinanabinks

Bucky x Reader

Things with Bucky are easy, and he's the sweetest guy you've been with. But when you throw in a bitter roommate and untold secrets, things get real hard, real fast.

old souls @thedevilwearsvibranium

Bucky x Reader

Your aunt runs an antique shop in the lower parts of Manhattan, and asks you to work in her shop once a week. You happily take the job, but then on your first day you have a strange encounter with an unusual customer - Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. Things ensue as the two of you end up becoming friends - and maybe even more - as you reminisce about the old things that you love as well as your mysterious pasts.

breaking the rules by @redgillan

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

You hate James Barnes with a burning passion and the feeling is entirely mutual. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, you are tricked into attending his sister’s wedding as his girlfriend. Stuck with a bunch of strangers, you come up with a set of rules that are not going to last long.

time after time by @justsomebucky

Neighbor!Bucky x Reader

AU. When the reader’s parents divorce, her mother moves her to a new  town, right next door to Bucky Barnes. This is their love story.

just a touch by @buckychrist

Bucky x Enhanced!Reader

Your powers? Controlling any feeling a human can have, from emotions to pain, with a simple brush of your fingertips. Your mission? The traumatized soldier with sad stricken eyes and scream filled nightmares.  

[galaxyedging]

Special Agent Ortega x f!reader

WC:2.7k

Warnings: P in V sex. F!receiving oral. Canon type violence. Death. Swearing.

Summary: Ortega makes the mistake of crossing the wrong woman.

Trust

Ortega should have known better. The bathhouse had been quiet when he entered. Not enough to raise his suspicions but given it was the most popular bathhouse in the surrounding area, he usually expected to hear the sounds of a good time coming from behind the doors lining the hallway. 

What should have aroused his suspicions is that not one girl had come near him. There wasn't one offer to scrub his back. His favourite girl didn't come by to offer to scrub more than his back. There wasn't any 'accidental' intrusions to see if the rumours were true that he was packing far more than a Smith and Wesson. 

The cigar in his hand was about half way done when he started to worry that turning down the love struck advances of his best girl may have put him in ill favour, Hell hath no fury and all that. That's when the thought struck him and the cold metal met his back. Shit. He'd be worried about the wrong woman.

"Drop the cigar in the water." You nudge the barrel of your gun further between his bare shoulder blades.

He holds the cigar up in his fingers to regard it. "That would be such a waste." 

"You can waste it or I can waste you when you try to burn me with it." You counter.

"Do you think I would do that to you?" He scoffs.

"Oh, I know you would." Ortega lets out a scream unbecoming of a Special Agent in Charge as you tip the ice bucket over him to extinguish his potential weapon.

"Puta!" He shakes the cold water from his hair as it drips down his spine.

"There's no need to be rude, Nacho." You tsks.

"I've told you not to call me that. Only my abuelita and my loving wife call me that. You are neither." He scowls over his muscular shoulder.

With a hand lay over your heart you gasp. "Oh, Ignacio. You wound me."

"Given half the chance I will." He smirks.

Moving back slightly you smile to yourself. "I know and that's why you won't get one. Up. Slowly." 

Ortega stands in the tub, as he gets to his full height he grabs a towel to cover himself.

"Nuh-uh. Drop the towel." There is no way you are giving him anything he can use against you.

"Are you that desperate to see what you are missing?" He makes a point of stretching his long legs as he steps out of the tub. His long cock dangles as he does. Even soft and cold, he's impressive.

Mentally shaking away any thoughts of just how impressive he can be, you tell him. "No. I just really don't trust you."

Ortega laughs. "You're one to talk."

He still blames you for what happened between you? That's rich. "Imagine my surprise to find that you'd gone straight."

"It made sense. They hand those out to anybody willing to sell their soul to Uncle Sam." He jutted his strong chin towards the badge on his vest a few feet away. If you're going to kill and con people you might as well do it with benefits." His broad shoulders shrug and the muscles ripple in his back. A back that used to be marked by trails from your fingernails.

"Sell your soul? I thought I owned that?" You tease.

"Only until death do us part. After that I'm free." He bites over his shoulder as you ogle his ass.

His perfect profile comes into view as he turns to you, highlighted by the afternoon sun.

Taking another breath after the one he stole you snipe. "Oh, you'll miss me."

Ortega turns to you, his tongue wets his lips. He'd like to say he'd forgotten how beautiful you were. As if you didn't haunt him. 

"Never." He challenged.

So many unspoken feelings and unmet desires hung between you. 

The first shot rang out, cutting through the thick air. It was far enough away that the direction that it came from wasn't clear. The direction became clearer when the bullets splintered the wood of the door. 

"Down!" Ortega pulls you down behind the tub with him, his hand cradles your head protectively.

"Do you think they're after you or me?" You asked while loading your gun.

Ortega noticed that you hadn't held a loaded gun on him. It softens him for a second but he doesn't let it show. "Debating if you can throw me to them to save yourself?"

"I mean, even if they aren't after you. You are a very distracting sight." You let your eyes rake up your husband's naked body.

Another two shots break through the door as Ortega reaches for his pants and discarded holster. 

"That was closer but it only sounds like there's one of them." Snatching up your second gun from your boot, you head towards the door.

"Wait." Ortega calls after you as you let bullets fly back through the holes in the door with impressive aim.

A pained shout comes from the other side. Ripping the door open, you find the source of the pained groaning propped up against the wall; his right hand was limp at his side and his pistol was just out of reach. With your gun trained on him you edge forward to check the hallway.

Finding it clear you moved back to take a good look at the man on the floor. He is a complete stranger to you.

"You son of a bitch!" The man growls at Ortega as he appears, now wearing pants.

An amused smirk tugs at your lips. "Well he seems to know you."

Ortega rolls his eyes at you before kicking the man's booted foot. "Who are you?"

"You're one of those damn city boys that killed my brother!" The man bares his teeth. As he clutches the hole in his arm.

Ortega looks bored as he answers. "Your brother tried to draw first. My partner was just quicker."

When the man makes a grab for his gun, Ortega's bullet split his skull. The last flicker of life is the twitch of his finger against the grip.

"Don't you just make friends wherever you go." You bat your eyelashes at Ortega.

"What can I say? I'm charming." He steps closer, a small part of him hopes you remember just how charming. 

His body is reacting to being close to you and he's thankful he grabbed some pants.

"Who told you that?" You try to keep some of your sassy while you also try to remember why you hadn't kissed your husband in over a year.

He steps closer still. "You…once upon a time."

"I was young and naive." Your words don't have to travel far. Your back is almost at the wall and he's still achingly close.

"It was two years ago." Another inch closer.

"I'm still young. Not so naive." You wave your gun to the side of him.

"You wouldn't shoot me." His plush lips are tantalisingly close. "Not to kill anyway."

His breath mingles with yours as you defiantly breathe. "Try me."

His lips finally touch yours. All the hate and bile is burnt away by the passion you still hold for each other. 

As his lips meet yours over and over his fingers grip your waist as he inches them under your shirt. Not for the first time, Ortega reflects on how much he loves that you wear masculine clothes. They are so much more form fitting around your ass and hips. His greedy hands make their way to them. He grasps handfuls, making you squeak into the kiss.

"Such pretty sounds for me. I bet I can make you make more." The words leave his mouth then he's on your neck, sucking and biting from your ear to your collar.

With his lips at your neck feeling so good your heart and mind get lost back in a simpler time. When it was just the two of you in love. Then the world got in the way. The last four years you'd lived separate lives, only seeking each other out when the need for each other became too great. All under the veil of hating each other. The hate there was real so it easy to stretch it over the two of you to cover up the love you still held for each other.

This big score that you were here for could set you both up for life. The reality was that you still couldn't trust the man that broke your heart. It was much better to keep him at arm's length. "I don't know. It's been a while. My tastes might have changed. Someone might have taught me something new." 

"Why do you have to do that? Always running your fucking mouth." His hands find your arms to drag you off the wall. 

For a second you think he's done with you until he grapples you towards an open door with a bed just in view. The bed soon hits your back as he throws you up on it. Your jeans are wrenched from your body then he drops to his knees and the end of the bed while pulling you to the edge of it. Before you can work out what his is doing, his tongue flattens against your folds.

"Oh, Ignacio!" The sensation is completely new to you. 

It feels beyond any pleasure you've ever felt, and Ortega has given you plenty, as his tongue parts your folds to slip inside you. It rolls inside your wanting hole for a moment before travelling upwards. It swipes at something that has you gripping his short hair tightly. Each repeated movement seems better than the last. It doesn't take long for you to feel something that you've only felt with your husband's cock or fingers inside of you. It builds almost to a peak. Then Ortega sucks on the spot he's been licking. A scream shakes the wooden building as you come. You'd heard many a tale from Europe about women climaxing without their partner entering them. This is your first experience with it. The utter delight of it is only dulled slightly by the thought of who taught your husband about it. Maybe it was the beautiful woman you saw him and his partner meet earlier. The thought varnishes even quicker than it appeared as Ignacio's lips find yours, still covered with the slick he drew from you, it's tangy and sweet on your lips. They stay glued to yours as he undoes his pants and removes his holster to slip inside you. He groans against them as he sets a hard rhythm. This is purely about him chasing his own release now but not for the reasons you think. Ortega is intent on marking you, claiming you with his release. He secretly hopes his seed will finally take root and bind the two of you back together. The thought of it pushes him over the edge. He presses his hips flush to yours to pump his thick, creamy cum as deep as he can. You can feel his warmth spread, you hope it spreads far enough.

Neither of you speak while you enjoy the excuse for closeness. When Ortega finally softens, he pulls out. He's too busy getting up and doing up his pants to notice how you tilt your hips on the bed to keep his seed inside you. 

With your jeans unceremoniously dumped at your feet, Ortega finally gets around to what he knows is coming. "What do you need from me?"

The fact that you have to need something from your husband to seek out his touch stabs at you briefly before you get to the matter at hand. "I hear you have a lead on the Sixth Gun."

As if you'd said the magic word, a gun shot rang out outside, quickly followed by another. Two more followed in quick succession until it was a pattern. Two quick gunshots followed by a pause. There must have been ten pairs in all. Each getting progressively closer. There was a long stretch of quiet until heavy footfalls sounded on the stairs, they came to a stop at the far end of the hall. Both you and Otega grip your weapons ready. A single shot rings out and the footsteps retreat. These a moment of confusion before a man, a thing, rushes through the door. It heads straight for Ortega. It moves so quickly he doesn't have a chance to aim properly. He gets a quick shot off to the thing's leg, which barely slows it before it starts to claw at him. It gives you time to get a good aim at the thing's head. One shot and it's down. 

Only with it sprawled on the floor do you recognise it. "He was dead. You shot him between the eyes."

Before either of you can process more feet approach, their steps hurried and stumbling. Thankfully that all come down the same narrow hallway so your position is well defensible. In the ensuing fight you try to ignore how good it feels to be fighting side by side with your husband again. This is how it should be. It's how it always was, the two of you, perfectly in sync. Until that damn job in Blackwater. The trust between you was cracked right down the middle. There was so much damage done the two of you were lost and you still hadn't found your way back to each other. Once the bodies are all dropped, Ortega grabs your hand to lead you. "Come on, we're getting out of here."

You don't question what he means by 'we' as you follow. Stepping over the bodies strewn on the hallway floor you make your way down the stairs and out into the dimly lit night. 

"My things are at the Inn. My horse too. I'm grabbing them and getting the hell out of here." Ortega informs you as the touch of his hand still warms yours. As if he feels it too he adds "I could do with back up getting through the valley. It's not a great ride on your own."

"My things are in a house at the edge of town." Your lips tell him. Your eyes tell him so much more.

"Not so fast there, Partner. I believe we have a deal." The man you'd seen Ortega with earlier, another badge wearing Pinkerton, steps out from the side of the building.

"I've just seen what that damned gun can do. I'm out of here." Ortega turns to leave and winces at the unmissable sound of a gun being cocked. 

"Now, Mercer. Let's not do anything stupid." Ortega finishes his sentence, whirling on his partner, drawn gun in hand.

Following Ortega's lead you point your own guns at Mecre.

"Oh! The little missus is going to back you up?! I thought she hated you?" Mercer Has a dig at his partner. While you look a little stunned. "You don't think he talks about you? He has your picture in his pocket watch. He always flaps his gums about you when he's drunk. All the pathetic regret.."

"Mercer!" Ortega warns.

"Well partner if you want to suddenly trust the woman you've been telling me you can't for the last couple of years, go ahead. How about you? You about to trust him after what he did? Do you know how much that gun is worth?" Mercer's words sew the seeds of doubt between you and Ortega. In another in sync move between you the two of you draw your second gun on each other. Mercer quickly draws one to aim at you. The three of you are caught in a standoff. All exchanging silent conversations with a glance.

"So what it really boils down to is trust." Mercer finally breaks the silence. The silence is further destroyed by gun shots. As one of the three of you falls.

A/N: According to Google (so it might be wrong), Ortega is from the Spanish for nettle, so I googled Spanish first names that came from 'stinging' as I thought it fit him. It gave me Ignacio meaning 'fiery one', then I looked for pet names of Ignacio, and Nacho was too cute to pass up.

[pricegouge]

my memory is so bad so if u’ve done this before just ignore but bear!price taking care of bunny on her period by snacks cuddles & orgasms :] & the sight & taste of her blood on him just makes him go a bit feral. sorry if it’s too weird😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Forgetful fighters unite 👊🏻

Sorry this took so long! Weirdly busy and then it turned out I actually needed this treatment too so uhh… hopefully it's not too late to bring you comfort, but at least it's a long one?

There actually is some of this in the actual fic (ch. 7? I think? Idk, I also forgot.) That being said, let's get you some fruit, bitch.

CW for period sex & oral. Tampon stays in for some of the foreplay, sorry. Pussy slapping, rough sex, breeding kink, light primal play, spit kink, mild dub con, and a spoiler for the main story if you haven't read it yet.

I think this'll have to be pretty early on in their relationship just because I like when Bunny's not used to being spoiled okay bye hope you enjoy :)

You're pretty sure he takes it personally, as if each cycle that passes is a mark against his abilities as both a man and a bear. John had yet to admit it but you knew he wanted to breed you, and every month marked by the arrival of your period meant he'd failed (you weren't even letting him try yet, really); worse, he'd let his mate suffer through another week of ill-designed resource waste.

He told you once he can smell it on you days before it actually started. It was weird, sure, but hard to complain when it always triggered some sort of pseudo-sympathetic response in him. He'd get grouchy because he was ridiculous, but never with you. Instead he spends the days leading up to your period doing some sort of nesting ritual comprised of overstuffing his cabinets with more pads, tampons, and snacks than you'd ever be able to use up in a single cycle. And towels. You're pretty certain no one has ever just happened to own this many towels.

"Maybe we should go back to pretending you don't know what my uterus is up to?" You'd teased him once while helping to unload his latest haul. You couldn't imagine him feeling obliged to buy you super plus overnight pads, an industrial sized bottle of midol, and what seemed to be an entire production run of your favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor was anyway to keep the romance alive after all. 

But John had looked so dejected at your suggestion. "Why? Did I forget something?" 

"Freezer space?" You'd laughed, shaking a bulk box of potato skins at him.

But it was no laughing matter the next day when you felt like you could've eaten him out of house and home if not for how thoroughly he'd prepared. You haven't teased him about it since, too scared to ruin a good thing. 

That doesn't mean you've gotten used to all the ways he likes to spoil you this time of month, though.

John's always so good at taking care of you, it's kind of unfair. You never plan on leaving him but it's times like this - when you've been airheaded and confused all day, snapping at coworkers for no good reason and apologizing minutes later when you realize you were the problem all along; when you let yourself back into his apartment and curl up to rot on the couch, too tired to even make yourself dinner while you wait on John to wrap up at the bar only for him to stumble through the door hours later with a hot to go container of garbage nachos and a paper bag tucked under his arm full of pads and tampons and more snacks than you'd ever be able to eat in your life -.

It's times like this when you realize if you ever do leave him, you'll be totally fucked.

"Is that what's wrong with me today?" you ask, pointing your toe at the haul he's currently unloading onto the counter.

He sniffs the air pointedly just because he knows it'll make you scrunch up your nose in distaste. "Tomorrow morning, I'd say."

You groan as you sit up, preparing yourself for the trek to the kitchen to get sustenance, but John brings you the nachos before you can get much further than the edge of the couch. "Thanks," you mumble as he places them in front of you, leaning over to press a kiss to your forehead. 

Or at least he pretends to. When he lingers, mouth moving against your skin, you know he's checking your temp. "You're welcome, honey. How you feeling?"

"Fine. Just tired and kinda airheaded."

"Poor bunny."

You hum in agreement but it turns to pleasure as you open the nachos up and get hit in the face with the smell of pulled pork and melty cheese. It's still hot which means it was the last thing the kitchen made before cleaning, probably kept in the oven even after it had been shut off to help keep it fresh while he ran to the store. Sometimes it makes you want to cry how thoughtful he is, but you ask him if he'd like to share instead. John shakes his head, eyeing the jalapenos warily. You snag one off the top and eat it plain just to show off. It's fresh and crunchy, none of that pickled shit. Delicious. "You still gonna kiss me later?"

Laughing quietly, John pulls you in for a quick, whiskery kiss. "Gonna take more than some greenery to stop me there."

***

Your cramps wake you up earlier than God the next morning. Despite it being only three in the morning, John's awake when you crawl back in bed, holding his arms wide for you to slide between. He could sleep through an earthquake, maybe even a robbery; but he always stirred awake if you left the bed for more than five minutes. 

"Need me, bunny?" 

You do, but you can't admit it yet. "Can you be big spoon?" You ask instead, knowing full well that wasn't quite what he meant.

He knew you knew it too, cocky bastard. Voice too thick to be properly chuffed, he still sounded quite pleased with himself when he rolled you over with a thick, "Of course, honey." 

John always runs at a temperature you're fairly certain should've gotten him admitted to a long term care unit by now, but in the dead of night, when he's all sleep soft and blanket warm, his skin is positively sweltering. He uses it to his advantage now, sealing himself against your achy back and reaching around you to cup what he can of your lower belly in his wide palm, letting you dictate how much pressure he uses. 

"Thanks," you grumble when he gets it just right, and you feel the bristle of his mustache when he smiles against the nape of your neck.

"Whatever you need, sweetheart." 

Whether you admit it or not, he means. 

He's patient enough to wait until you start wiggling in pain. He's not always. Sometimes the pressure of his hands turns groping, or his length grows against your back when he plants his nose to the hollow behind your ear, samples your scent with each breath. He'll tell you you smell good if you're lucky, some variation of 'delicious' if you're not. And now, while his actions are patient, his words aren't. "Smell good enough to eat, bunny."

Heat climbs up your throat, flames your cheeks. The problem is, he means it, and you're never sure what to do with that information.

"Wanna sleep, John," you breathe, lying. He drops it for the night anyway, letting you rest as peacefully as you are able with his body pressed up against your own.

***

He's lazy with you all morning, sitting you between his thick thighs and letting you lean against his chest as he sprawls across the couch. Officially, you're watching a movie together, but John does not seem at all engrossed in it; too busy running his hands up your thighs, middle finger following the seam of your bottoms far too high. It's embarrassing, your paranoia telling you you're leaking, growing damp under his palm. You know that's what he wants, though; wants you soaked, has never been too particular about the details of it.

Well, that's not entirely fair. John loves when you're soaked in blood. 

"Never been one to turn my nose up at a nice juicy rabbit," he'd told you once, and something about his tone made it clear he didn't mean turning you down over something as trivial as blood.

"Should I be worried you're gonna eat me some day?" You'd asked, laugh slightly nervous. 

"Oh, bunny," he'd leered, "I'm gonna eat you now."

It drove him crazy. Made him so hungry for you there were days you wouldn't even get cramps because he wouldn't leave you alone long enough for them to develop. Today wouldn't be one of those days - couldn't be, because he had to work later -, but the way he's actually bothering to take his time, building up your pleasure before he even technically gets his hands on you, you know he's planning on leaving you unwound for hours.

He doesn't bother slipping beneath the hem of your loose bottoms when he does finally give up pretenses, rubbing you through the thin material with the flat of his fingers. You know your concerns were valid when he groans. 

"So wet for me, sweetheart." His hand comes away streaked slightly red, and you only squawk a little when he licks it clean. 

This time he gets his fingers under your hem, eager as they explore your folds, seeking the font at the center of you. He grunts as if in disappointment when he feels the string of your tampon, but then laughs meanly, a low rumble in his chest which spills from him like springtime melt off over the gravel of a dry creek bed.

"Got you this wet even with this thing in, did I?" 

"That's not how it -." 

"No?" His free hand pulls your waist band down to your thighs. He shows you the mess he's made, sticky cum stringing between his fingers where it doesn't quite mix perfectly with the blood that stains his fingers. "What's this, then? Hm?" You feel like you might spontaneously combust when he licks his fingers again, groaning. "Tastes like cum to me." 

"John," you whine, tummy fluttering in a way you're not sure you're completely on board with. 

"You love it," he asserts anyway, and you're in no position to argue when his spit soaked fingers find your clit again.

He never fills you with anything more than you already have, makes you whine your dissatisfaction into the crook of his neck. You cum anyway, pussy throbbing the kind of womb-deep pain that comes easiest this time of month. He slaps you there, after, the sharp jolts making you clenching down hard enough to have your cervix aching deliciously.

When he deems you've had enough time to recover, John orders you bed.

"Gotta…" you point illustratively at the bathroom and he nods once in understanding. 

"Don't bother cleaning up though, only gonna make more of a mess." 

"You're a dog," you tell him, and then very much do clean yourself up, because it's a very heavy flow day and no one needs all that. 

He's still in his sweats when you return to him, lounging across a towel-covered bed. He pouts when he sees you've cleaned up, but is easily soothed with kisses when he pulls you into his lap. You don't bother commenting on his sweats after he leans back and slides you up his belly, encouraging you to grind against the thick thatch of hair there. It's soft, doesn't provide enough friction to do anything other than make you leak all over him. John does not seem sympathetic, too engrossed in the way his hair darkens under your ministrations, gleaming wetly in the sunlight streaming through the window. When his thumb finds your clit, he's rough about it. He holds you in place with his free hand wrapped around to the small of your back, only letting you move enough to keep you rocking against him. He doesn't build up to it, just instantly starts in with the kind of tight, firm circles that make you buck in overstimulation, moaning when you find you have nowhere to go.

"Christ, listen to her." Embarrassment floods you when you realize he's not talking about the pathetic noises falling from your mouth. It's like he's commenting on some particularly nice weather when he continues, "Nothing better than the sound of a bloody, wet cunt."

You cum with a sharp cry when he switches his thumb out for a mean press of two knuckles against you, and it's like he hardly even notices, eyes still latched on where you stain his skin. He doesn't let you ride it out either, drawing his hand away the second he feels your pussy flutter over his belly, clenching around nothing. You watch him lick his fingers clean as he tips you over onto the bed. He doesn't take his eyes from your core when he follows, kneeling between your feet before lowering himself to his belly. 

He looks starved. Looks more bear than man, honestly.

"If you lick your chops I swear I'm kicking you out of bed." 

A single huff of laughter blows across your mons, cool where it meets your soaked skin. John does in fact lick his chops, an aborted little joke he's too focused to fully sell. It makes you squirm, the way he looks at you - a butterfly pinned before it's fully died. Part of you hates how much you love this, still feels dirty whenever you see him bloody down to his chest. Despite his eagerness, there's always a nagging thought at the back of your mind which wonders if he's putting on a show for you, if he feels like he owes you this because it's the best way to make you feel better. The fucking was one thing - half driven insane the way he is each month by the fact you're still not full of his cubs, you suppose the fucking makes sense. Still, there's no way he wants this, surely.

But John never looks more bear-like than he does in these moments, half starved and rabid as he stares down at you like his latest kill, and you know there is simply no faking how much he wants you. 

"Pretty little cunt doesn't know what's good for her, bunny." John's voice is thick and dark as the blood that paints his lips. "Won't take my seed, keeps wasting all your energy on this bloody little cycle." He tuts, hands spreading your thighs so he can better fit between them. "Have to try harder, won't we?" 

He doesn't give you a chance to respond, licking along the crease of your thigh and groaning at the salty mix of sweat and spend. It's all so hot, slick. The rough texture of his tongue barely even noticeable through the juices that coat it when he licks fat stripes across the whole of you. He's sloppy, huffing and groaning into you each time he finds some new reserve of slick hidden within your folds. Usually, John likes to get you sighing in pleasure before he gets his fingers on you like this, but he isn't patient enough today, it seems. After licking you clean, he moves onto your clit and gives it some sweet little kisses that smack horribly, his fingers finding your entrance and drawing out more blood and slick which he doesn't hesitate to lick up as well. 

"Taste so fucking good, bunny," he growls; or at least, you think he does. Hard to be sure, the way he speaks directly to your pussy. When he does draw back to be sure you hear him, his beard is matted and soaked, his eyes wine dark. "Wanna split you open bunny."

You're not sure he means on his cock, but that's what you get anyway. 

John doesn't bother rubbing your slick over him, just pushes his waistband under his balls and lines himself up, sinking to his root with a heavy groan; his head bowed forward like he doesn't have the energy left to support it. It aches but you're powerless to do anything but take it, loving the way he notches against the very end of you, cervix so sore and sensitive he puts you on the knife edge of pain and pleasure without even trying. Your hands grapple up his thick forearms and he finally seems to notice your presence underneath him, lowering himself enough he can lick into your mouth. His mustache is soaked where it presses against you, smell strong enough to flip your tummy a bit. 

John notices. He chuckles, not giving you an inch to breathe. "Rabbits don't like blood, do they?" 

You shake your head, hypocrisy burning your throat at the way you enjoy him eating you out despite the blood when you can't stomach the same. 

"That's right, need your bear to take care of you like this, don't you?" His hips draw back in one smooth motion, accentuate his words when they snap back in.

"Yes, please," you stutter. Worked up and teased as you are, you know you won't last long. 

"Don't worry, bunny. I'll take care of you." He pushes himself back up so he looms over you, forearms flexing under your fingertips. He shakes one of your hands loose, bears his hips into you to support his weight as he brings one hand up to your jaw, fingers staining as he tilts your face just so, hinging your mouth open. "I'll fuck you just like you need, but you're gonna let me use that mouth however I want."

Even his spit is blood stained and pink as he dangles a string of it into your mouth. You whine at the taste when it coats your tongue, rust and salt. Somehow more metallic than even the smell of it. 

A predator sensing weakness, John snarls at your whine, shoves all four of his coated fingers into your mouth while his thumb strokes your jaw, too heavy to be soothing. "Suck," he orders, voice barely human. You wonder how close his other form is to the surface, if the fingers in your mouth will change shape if you can't appease him. Assure him you're his adamantly enough. The thought makes you clench on his cock, sucking the wide breadth of his fingers messily.

"Good rabbit," he growls. He adjusts your hips against his own, sinks impossibly deeper. He barely bothers to pull out when he fucks you, thatch of hair over his cock grinding against your clit as he rocks into you. When he speaks again, you're not certain you're supposed to hear.

"Drive me fucking crazy, bunny. Walking around smelling like my next fucking meal." His hips slap into you, pace increasing but depth never changing. 

You whine around the fingers in your mouth, hands scrambling over his chest, down his belly. You remember how full he'd been after Phil, the way his skin had been drawn so taut. His words should scare you, probably, but his teeth are none too sharp when he sinks them into the fat of your breast. 

"Shit, John," you hiss and he releases your flesh with a slobbery sound.

"Gonna fill you with my cub so I can drink from these too," he promises. You just nod dumbly, the thought of him feeding from you in any way he wanted doing things for you you never thought it would. "Get you full of my cub so you can stop. Fucking. Bleeding all the time," his hips accentuate his words and you groan, fingers finding your clit until he rips his hand from your mouth and slaps you away. Spit soaked, he rubs your clit deliciously, only getting more assertive when your hips fall open for him like a flower in bloom. 

"Dangerous thing, bunny. Blood in the water. He leans over, weight pinning you when he takes your earlobe into his mouth with bloody force. "Tasty little thing, too. Gonna eat you right up," he snarls.

Your orgasm pulls his from him, the two of you moaning into each other's mouths between wet, sloppy licks. It's hard to mind the taste when your whole body is pulsing deliciously, a flood of blood and cum flowing from you when John pulls out. It feels like he's taken a whole day off your period when you see how much of a mess he's made. 

He knows how your head can throb briefly, after coming with his cock lodged in your cervix. John lays you across the pillows while he starts cleaning up, bringing a wet washcloth out to wipe the worst of the mess from you. When you're ready, he joins you in the shower, lathering you both up until the water runs clear. 

"Feeling better, honey?" he asks, nose buried in the crook of your neck. Innocent and sweet, like he didn't just threaten to impregnate and eat you by turns. 

"For now." You're still rubbing soap into his hairy belly absently, so you grope the soft flesh there and laugh when he jolts. "You're not gonna eat me, are you?"

You feel his huff of laughter. He begins to shake his head and then thinks better of it, standing to his full height so he can tower over you when he says, "Depends on how soon you let me put a baby in you."

Next>>

[lazybutsmexy]

Infused

Alejandro Vargas x f!reader (Avispa)

Masterlist Prologue Ch.1

Chapter 2: Mate amargo: Indiference

Warnings: none

A/N: another update so soon?! Don't get used to that.

Sargento Mayor Rodolfo Parra watched pensively at Alejandro as he recounted his meeting with Avispa. The Colonel was incensed, gesturing wildly with his hands as he paced around the barrack they shared when they had no time to go home and rest.

Alejandro had very strong opinions about the woman, although he kept himself from calling her vile names. Even in his fury, he had his limits. Besides, his catholic mother would never forgive him for talking ill of a woman, no matter how frustrating she was.

Rodolfo noted that and kept it at the back of his head, while he listened to his childhood friend turned superior vent about Avispa. He kept quiet for most of the interaction, besides humming and assenting to show Alejandro he was paying attention as he unfastened his boots.

Alejandro had a lot to say, even after they were both laying down on their cots, looking at the ceiling. Whenever Rodolfo thought he was done, Alejandro would break the silence with another remark.

“As if I'd let a fucking killer for hire use the Fuerzas Especiales as a crutch to complete her assassination job,” Alejandro grumbled mostly to himself, but loud enough for Rodolfo to hear.

“So, you wouldn't even consider it?” Rodolfo sighed, the only sentence he uttered since they entered the barrack.

Alejandro sat up on his cot, glaring at his friend in disbelief, “would you, pendejo?!”

Rodolfo simply snorted a laugh, having expected that reaction from him. “It wouldn't be the first time we've worked with PMC’s or contractors from other countries. It's kind of part of the job, Ale.” He stretched over his cot, groaning softly as he relaxed. “You mentioned she had a Southern Latin American accent, didn’t you? She’s probably a part of that group…” He trailed off, remembering an old report on the Amazonas.

“It's not the same thing, those collaborations were approved by legal organizations, like the CIA,” Alejandro sighed, rolling his eyes, “she's not. What if she makes shit hit the fan, eh? Who could we report that to?”

“I hear you on that, hermano,” Rodolfo sighed, turning to his side to look at Alejandro sleepily, “on the fact that no legal responsibility will tie her or restrain her actions. However, since she’s trying to collaborate with us, it means she also won't have anyone come help her if shit hits the fan. If she fucks up, we could just drop her to the wolves, pretend we never worked together, and fix it.”

Alejandro stared at his friend, his frown softening just a fraction as his words echoed in his head. He watched Rudy yawn and fix a blanket over himself, and laid himself back down. He stared at the ceiling in silence, reflecting on his options.

Rodolfo was right. Los Vaqueros were the only insurance that Avispa would even survive squaring up to el Sin Nombre, and they could deny her support if he so wanted it. He spent another half an hour weighing on the pros and cons of allowing her in their circle, and the thought of having the choice of backing out made him think more about the positive outcome it could bring.

“... Maybe.” He spoke in the quietness, Rodolfo’s soft snores the only reply he got.

Bar Marcela was once again the chosen venue for the meeting, but this time Alejandro got there first. He had sent Ricardo a coded message to set up another meeting with Avispa, and now he only had to wait. He nibbled on his nachos without hurry, making sure he tasted them thoroughly to compensate for the last time. He could practically feel Marcela’s eyes on him, even though she was in the backroom at the moment.

Avispa met his eyes the moment she walked in, and her quiet steps led her straight to his table. She sat down wearing a knowing smile on her face, and it ticked Alejandro to see it.

“I knew you would reconsider it, Coronel,” was her greeting, helping herself to one of his nachos. She ate it and hummed at the taste, while Alejandro’s glare was fixed on her. “What are your conditions?”

“You turn in every information you gather to us, no matter how small it may be, before you act out on it,” he began, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ll facilitate a quarter at my base so you can lay down and lick your wounds if needed, but I won’t insure your safety out of it.”

Avispa watched him thoughtfully. Of course, she always knew she wouldn’t depend on him or the Special Forces to keep her safe from the cartel. There was no way in hell a legal, government-backed military would publicly endorse her.

However, she was a big girl, and this wasn’t su primer jineteada. She was confident she could take care of herself.

“Muy bien,” Avispa agreed with a small grin, offering him her hand to shake it off.

Alejandro didn’t take it. Instead, he stood from his seat, staring down at her as he handed her a scribbled piece of paper. “Go to this address tomorrow, be ready to move into my base.”

He wasn’t particularly happy to take her in, and his face showed it. Despite this, he had preemptively chosen a private room in a corner of the barracks. Long ago, it was used by drill sergeants to watch over the recruits. But after the transformation into the base of operations of the Special Forces, it had been modified to house soldiers with disciplinary issues, and hidden cameras had been installed. It would be perfect to keep an eye on her movements in and out of the barracks. Of course, that information wouldn't be passed down to her.

At 0900 hours sharp, Avispa walked into the Vaqueros’ base of operations. Her eyes darted around as a guard led her to the women's barracks, partially to create a mental map of the installations, but also to admire the sheer size of them.

She could spot a few soldiers looking at her through the windows and she wondered how many others were not in her line of sight. She knew it was a tactical decision, to make her know she would be constantly under surveillance. That thought followed her as she entered her private quarters.

Her eyes studied her provisional accommodation, moreso trying to locate hidden cameras than checking out the bland bedding and the too-small window that looked out into the internal patio. Resigned to not being able to pinpoint the surveillance, she put down her duffel bag on the bed and opened it, pulling out a change of clothes and a smaller backpack.

As she's about to take her t-shirt off, she looked over her back, raising an eyebrow at the guard whose eyes were still fixed on her. “...May a señorita have some privacy?” She questioned, her voice almost sickly sweet.

The guard stared at her for just a moment longer before stepping back, although Avispa predicted he would only be one or two feet away from the door. She rolled her eyes, changing into a pair of jeans and a breezy top.

It was only moments later that Alejandro walked in, knocking twice on the door frame to announce himself. “How's your suite, princesa?” He greeted her in a teasing tone.

“Like a dream, Coronel,” Avispa matched his tone, flipping down on the cot and taking her tablet, scrolling through it, “good job hiding the cameras, I couldn't find them.”

Alejandro snorted, a sneer stretching his lips. Of course she would be smarter than to assume he wouldn't have an eye on her at all times. “Breakfast is at 0630, lunch is at 1400, dinner at 2100.”

She nodded at the information, glancing at her watch before sitting up and tilting her head a little. “I suppose I can get hot water at the kitchen any time of the day, right?”

Alejandro blinked at her and nodded slowly, slightly intrigued at her reason to require it. “Fancy a coffee, then?”

Avispa grinned and shook her head, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed and sliding her chanclas on, before pulling out a thermos from her duffel bag. “No, mate.”

The bitter taste of the yerba was thoroughly enjoyed as she slipped on the metallic straw. It had been a few days since she had been able to lower her guard enough to give herself time to enjoy a good mate. The beverage woke her up more effectively than a cup of coffee, and she took her sweet time browsing through her tablet as she drank it.

She scribbled down some words on a notepad, and later laid down on the cot, staring at the ceiling. That's all they could see in the footage. They saw no signs of her trying to install boobytraps, or hiding weapons, or anything else. Just a woman by herself, watching the time pass.

It all changed about an hour before dinner, when she took her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. She followed her mental map of the base expertly, tracing her steps back to the entrance and walking out, not a word heard from her lips to the guards who questioned her where she was going, or when she would return.

A/N: the worst crime commited by the COD fandom was to forget how unhinged Rudy can be.

Taglist

@warenai @queen-of-hearts-lemon-tarts @embers-of-alluring @wolfyland07

[thepenguinclub]

dancing with our hands tied

jegulus, dancer!regulus, smitten!james, mutually beneficial agreements (ill do soemthign for you if i get to give you a little smooch on the forehead), open ending

Wordcount: 2,423

Summary:

When Marlene had first invited James along to pick up her new girlfriend from her dance studio, he had been slightly curious but mostly more interested in the nachos they were going to get afterwards. But one thing had led to another, and then he was watching Marlene’s girlfriend dance something called a jive with the most gorgeous man he had ever seen, moving so quickly and fluidly that James had, for the first time in his life, had to seriously consider needing to leave a room for fear of embarrassing himself.

So, James being James, he had immediately needed to speak to the man, who had introduced himself as Regulus. And, because James really had no self-control, he had then proceeded to call the man beautiful, asking him on a date, and then giving him his number despite his repeated refusals. Not his finest moment, and James had genuinely contented himself to never stepping foot back in Marlene’s girlfriend’s place of work ever again and possibly also moving to China, but then the unthinkable had happened. Regulus had texted him.

---

Regulus needs a favor, and James is more than happy to help.

hey. i think ive decided my presence on this website will just be me randomly uploading shit i speedwrote and did not reread whenever motivation strikes, and you know what? im okay with that.

this is my first jegulus work, i love them. this idea hit me in the shower and instead of imagining a whole book surrounding this one interaction i decided that i was just going to write this as a oneshot and if i decide to expand upon it later, good for me. if not, whatever. if you feel struck by motivation after reading this and want to continue it, go for it (if you do please credit it me because i would love to read it).

otherwise yeah i think that's it. enjoy.

WARNINGS: drinking (coffee), swearing, james has some dirty thoughts but none are explicit, just maybe imply explicit stuff, mentions of the control walburga and orion have over regulus, implied depressive feelings

if theres anything i missed let me know and i'll add it :)

-----------

The cafe around James was not at all what he had expected when he had agreed to meet with Regulus.

Granted, James had only spoken with Regulus once, so what did he really know? Quaint, pastel coffee shops could be right up the other man’s alley, though somehow James doubted that. With his pale skin, glossy black curls, sharp cheekbones and lithe figure, Regulus looked more likely to be found at a Victorian ball than a cafe in downtown London.

And yet, there he was, walking briskly through the door, just as striking as the first time James had seen him. He was in a soft-looking gray sweater, and black trousers that hugged his thighs. James lifted a hand from his table and smiled at him, only receiving a quick nod in return before Regulus was stepping up to the counter to order.

The conversation that had led to that point had been a short one, starting with a ping on James’ phone and a ‘James Potter? This is Dorcas’ friend, Regulus.’ and ended in a ‘see you there!!!! 😁’ Honestly, James had assumed it had been a waste of time to give Regulus his number at all, seeing as he had appeared very uninterested in James’ original advances when Dorcas had first introduced them. Which she had warned him about, of course, but James couldn’t help it; watching Regulus and Dorcas dance the way they had was nothing short of a transcendent experience.

When Marlene had first invited James along to pick up her new girlfriend from her dance studio, he had been slightly curious but mostly more interested in the nachos they were going to get afterwards. But one thing had led to another, and then he was watching Marlene’s girlfriend dance something called a jive with the most gorgeous man he had ever seen, moving so quickly and fluidly that James had, for the first time in his life, had to seriously consider needing to leave a room for fear of embarrassing himself.

So, James being James, he had immediately needed to speak to the man, who had introduced himself as Regulus. And, because James really had no self-control, he had then proceeded to call the man beautiful, asking him on a date, and then giving him his number despite his repeated refusals. Not his finest moment, and James had genuinely contented himself to never stepping foot back in Marlene’s girlfriend’s place of work ever again and possibly also moving to China, but then the unthinkable had happened. Regulus had texted him.

“Thank you for coming,” Regulus said in his posh, perfect accent. Every move he made was graceful and precise, from the way he sat in the chair to the way he lifted his coffee to his lips to sip it slowly. James was obsessed.

“Happy to,” he replied, smiling widely. He was going for ‘a friendly guy’ and not ‘in love with a stranger’, and hoped he succeeded. After a moment of silence, when Regulus continued to sip his coffee and James continued to stare at him, James cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses. “I was surprised you texted me. Not that I didn’t want you to, of course, but you had just seemed, well…”

“Uninterested,” Regulus filled in for him after the word had stretched on for a few seconds. James nodded. “I was.”

“What changed?” James asked curiously, his fingers tightening around his own cup of coffee. He had drained it a few minutes before Regulus had walked in, which was, in hindsight, a bad idea.

Regulus sighed.

“I appreciated your honesty at the studio, James,” he said seriously. “And I am sorry, but I cannot be for you what you want me to be.”

“I don’t want you to be anything,” James refuted immediately. “I am happy for this to be whatever you want it to be.”

“That’s nice of you.” Regulus’ lips twisted, and he took another sip of his coffee. James watched his Adam’s Apple move as he swallowed. “I was hoping to repay you with some honesty of my own, really. That’s why I asked you to meet.”

“I’m all ears.” James leaned forward. This man was very interesting, and trust that James was very interested. It also seemed to him that Regulus wasn’t particularly honest often, and that he should make sure he paid attention to whatever he was about to say.

“I don’t have time for friends,” Regulus told him, “much less a significant other. I spend twelve hours a day, six days a week in that dance studio. When I’m not there, I am preparing to take over my family’s investments when I inherit them. When I am not doing that, I am studying for the online classes I take at Oxford. The only friends I can truly afford to have are the ones that are at the studio with me. As you can imagine, their friendships are very dear to me.”

James nodded, and Regulus blew out a long breath.

“My family puts a lot of importance on my dance career, specifically my mother. Her expectation is that I am perfect.”

“That’s impossible,” James interrupted with furrowed brows. “Sorry, but- she must know that no one is perfect.”

“No one is perfect except for me,” Regulus corrected calmly. “She, nor I, will settle for less. For a very long time, my mother has been arguing to send me to a dance studio in Paris, one that is much more prestigious than the one I am at currently. I come from a different class than Dorcas, or Barty and Pandora, who I believe Dorcas introduced you to.”

“She did,” James confirmed, crossing his arms on the table. He didn’t like any of what Regulus was saying, and felt extremely protective of him, and angry on his behalf. He forced himself to remember that he had only met this man a week ago, and that they still did not know each other.

“The only one of our friends who matches me in social standing is Evan and he has recently made some… controversial decisions. That is what had resulted in my mother seriously pushing for my movement to France.” Regulus paused, pursing his lips. 

“Have you told Evan this?” James asked cautiously. “I don’t know you or him very well, but if he’s your friend I’m sure he would stop if he knew it was hurting you.”

“No,” Regulus answered fiercely. “Evan is taking a stand against his family for what he believes in, and I will always support him. To ask him to stop would be to trap him in his situation, and I would never do that to him. And he would certainly stop if I were to let him know of my situation.”

“Alright, well, there has to be something you can do,” James argued, feeling rising up in his chest. “Your parents can’t just ship you off to France, you’re a grown adult.”

“For complicated reasons I cannot explain to you, yes, they can,” Regulus sighed. “My age has no bearing in the matter. For all intents and purposes, they have complete control over me. But you’re right, there was something I could do. I got my mother to agree to a contract.”

“A contract?” James asked, eyes wide. Regulus simply hummed.

“Indeed. She would not force me to leave London if I could prove that I was not wasted at my current studio, and that my skills were improving. She agreed that I could do this by performing a specific way at the upcoming world ballroom dance competition.”

“Ignoring the horrifying fact that your mother made you sign a contract for your freedom,” James started slowly, “how are you supposed to perform? Please tell me she doesn’t expect you to win the whole thing.”

“No, not quite.” Regulus gave him a humorless smile, which briefly stopped James’ heart. “I must win every single category that I compete in except for one, as well as receive two perfect scores and break one record.”

“What the fuck?” James asked, appalled. “How is that possible? I mean, I’m sure you’re amazing, but that has to be impossible, or at least extremely difficult. How could she expect you to do that?”

“She doesn’t,” Regulus answered primly, swirling his coffee in his hand as if it were an exquisite red wine. “And you’re right, it is, while not impossible, extremely difficult. But I work very hard. And you were right again. I am amazing. I’ve planned out every category that I am competing in and every dance or event I will participate in and have it down to a perfect plan in which the terms are met.”

“I’m sensing a ‘but,’” James sighed, biting his lip.

“But, a majority of the categories that I have to win are paired dances. Which means that even if I perform perfectly, I cannot guarantee a win.”

“Because it relies on Dorcas to perform perfectly as well,” James finished, leaning back in his chair and running a hand through his hair. “That’s horrible.”

“It is what it is.” Regulus copied his movement, reclining in his chair much more graceful than James. “Dorcas is completely capable of performing the way she needs to, but not if she is worried. She needs to have a clear head.”

“She would be worried if she knew your future rested on her performance,” James couldn’t help but say. Dorcas was lovely, from the few times he had hung out with her and Marlene, but she did seem like somewhat of an anxious person, and he also knew that Regulus was her best friend. James could only imagine what it would be like to know that Sirius’ future happiness rested on his shoulders.

“Exactly,” Regulus agreed, “which is why I’m not telling her, or any of my friends. If it happens, it happens, and there’s nothing they can do about it. If it doesn’t, there’s nothing to worry about. But either way, she doesn’t need that kind of pressure.”

“Alright, that all makes some kind of twisted sense.” James pushed his glasses up his nose again. “Where do I fit into it?”

“Dorcas is already worried about me.” Regulus sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across his face. Despite the heaviness of the conversation, James couldn’t help but swoon a bit. “She believes that I am unhappy, and worries about my lifestyle.”

“Well… are you unhappy?” James asked slowly. Regulus waved his hand, as if physically batting the words out of the way.

“Whether I am or not is neither here nor there. What’s important is whether Dorcas thinks I am. Which is, as you said, where you come in.” Regulus pointed at James with a long, thin, perfectly manicured finger. James dug his nails into the meat of his thigh to stop himself from thinking about sucking on it. “Dorcas has, for some reason, decided that you are the key to my happiness, either as a friend or boyfriend. I don’t have time for either.”

“You want me to pretend to be your friend or boyfriend?” James squinted at him, his heart experiencing an interesting squeezing feeling. “Am I understanding that right?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Regulus clenched his teeth, the muscles in his jaw flexing with the movement. James reminded himself to focus. 

“Sorry, can we back up to the part where you never answered if you were unhappy or not? I feel like that’s a little important,” he said, concern buzzing under his skin. They had only been talking for a small while, but James had given up on pretending that he shouldn’t feel so strongly about Regulus and had decided to just dive right in. He was concerned and angry and protective and he wanted to wrap Regulus in a hug. He settled for waiting for a response.

“I don’t…” The man across from him seemed to struggle with his answer for a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you want to be?” James asked.

“I don’t know,” Regulus repeated, sounding more and more unsure of himself. He squirmed a bit in his seat, for the first time looking something other than calm and collected. Two spots of color rose on the height of his cheekbones, and he bit his lip. Fuck, James wanted to eat him.

He shook his head sharply. Not the time.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” James offered. “I’ll pretend to be your friend or boyfriend or whatever you want for as long as you want.”

“And in return?” Regulus asked, face suspicious but intrigued. He leaned forward in his seat and folded his hands on the table.

“You try and be happy, and don’t stop until you are,” James answered firmly. “And then you say to me, “James, I’m happy,” and really mean it. When that happens, you’ve done your part.”

Regulus stared at him for a long time. James stared back. He hadn’t felt this strongly about anything or anyone in… forever. He’d never felt this strongly about anyone, and James made a silent deal with himself then that he wouldn’t let Regulus go. That whatever his answer was, this would not be that last time they saw each other.

“Okay,” Regulus agreed finally, face blank and eyes inscrutable. “I agree to your terms.”

James reached a hand over the table, and Regulus took it without hesitation. They shook hands, and James really wished he wasn’t thinking about how mouthwatering their skin tones looked against each other in such an important moment.

“You’re a very strange man, James Potter,” Regulus told him as he let go. James smiled.

“Thank you, Regulus- er…”

“Black,” Regulus supplied, with a slight smile of his own. James’ breath stuttered at the sight. “Regulus Black.”

“Regulus Black,” James repeated, tasting the name on his tongue. “You have the same last name as my best friend.”

Regulus hummed in response and finished his coffee, standing. James stood as well.

“I have to get back,” Regulus said, “but I’ll text you.”

“I’ll be waiting,” James replied, cringing a second later. Definitely missed ‘a friendly guy’ and fully crossed into ‘in love with a stranger’ on that one. Although, Regulus wasn’t really a stranger anymore.

James was rewarded for his awkwardness by another smile, larger than any he had seen before.

“Goodbye.” Regulus nodded at him, turned, and left.

James fell back into his chair and buried his head in his hands. When he closed his eyes, he still saw that last smile.

-----------

hope you liked it. im thepenguinclub on ao3 if you wanna read more stuff. comments and kudos are my life force so please leave them, especially comments they always make my day. ive posted some other stuff for harry potter, as well as merlin and sanders sides so if any of that's your jam feel free to read that too, otherwise have a fantastic rest of your day and i'll see you next time.

[seraphtrevs]

i know that this is extremely random, but what do you think the brba/bcs character's love languages would be? imo lalo's love language would be acts of service maybe? idk. i would love to hear your thoughts! you always have such great insights

I actually remember doing this during the Long Hiatus!

Kim's is definitely acts of service. She is angry at Jimmy for switching Chuck's documents...but she's also clearly moved by his gesture. She would have broken up with him otherwise, but it just brings them closer. When they are on a break following the fallout from the commercial, Jimmy calls every day to sing to her answering machine. She's not ready to talk to him yet, but it's important to her that he makes a tangible effort at apologizing and demonstrates his willingness to be patient in a way that makes her laugh. He paints her toenails. He gets the Kettlemans backs for her. He is always doing stuff to show her how much he cares

Jimmy's is definitely words of affirmation. He desperately wants his brother to tell him he's proud of him. He wants people to express amazement at his cleverness. Unfortunately, this is something Kim has a hard time with. She will acts-of-service him all day long, but putting things into words is very difficult for her. This is part of the reason why Jimmy is so less secure in their relationship than Kim is - he's always asking for her to reassure him ("this guy? really?") but she struggles with giving that to him. That's why the office becomes such a huge deal to Jimmy because to him, sharing the office is like her saying "I'm proud to be seen with Jimmy McGill, whom I love"

Chuck values quality time. His whole EHS is an elaborate way to get Jimmy to spend time with him. After the death of his parents and his divorce (and probably the death of Hamlin Sr too), he feels very abandoned. However, he can't ask Jimmy to spend time with him because that would be too vulnerable and humiliating. So his brain made up a way for him to get what he needs from Jimmy without having to say that he loves him - it's just because of the dang EHS, not that he really wants Jimmy there every day

Howard's is acts of service. You can tell because he's constantly trying to do things for other people - he agrees to take the blame for shutting Jimmy out of HHM. He offers Jimmy a job to make up for it later. He pays off Kim's debt. He makes Cheryl a peace latte. It's so important to him for people to accept these acts because he's showing his love and care, but he sadly gets rejected a lot because he misreads which acts of service would be welcome and which are not helpful. No one does acts of service for him. Poor Howie. :(

Nacho wants gifts. In the end, he rejected the ill-gotten gains from the cartel...but I think he never stopped being a material girl at heart. He loves jewelry and nice clothes and expensive cars. Tragically he has to go out and take it for himself, but I think he would react really well to being showered with gifts. Maybe if Lalo put a ring on it, things would have turned out differently.

Lalo values acts of service. Nacho wins him over when he parkours to rescue the drugs from the trap house - the drugs themselves weren't worth a lot, but Nacho's willingness to put himself in danger to impress Lalo works really well on him. Nacho burning down Gus's restaurant really sealed the deal.

Mike definitely needs quality time. Yes, he's working to get money to support Kaylee...but actually, he's getting the money to support Kaylee to make sure that Stacey will still want him around. He doesn't feel worthy of spending quality time with either of them unless he's being a provider, which is very sad because Stacey and Kaylee enjoy time with him no matter what, but he can't see that

Gus also prizes quality time. He visits David for the pleasure of listening to him talk, enjoying basking in the presence of someone who can take the pressure off of him and let him be swept away by the dulcet sounds of neurodivergent infodumping.

[jovenshires]

1, 17, 18 & 24 for the fic writer asks 💞

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

hmmm... this year was actually the very first time i wrote song fic!! and i really enjoyed it. im picking songs that don't have Direct stories and more just have imagery and stuff that i can fuck around with and use as i want and so ill def do it again i think its a blast

17. What were your go-to writing snacks?

i dont usually snack while writing (my brain can TRULY only handle one thing at a time LKNDFNLKNFLK) BUT i am a huge animal cracker fiend. i think i went through a box over the course of iwks.

18. What was the hardest fic to title?

i almost ALWAYS let yall title my fics so luckily non-issue for me <3<3<3 BUT i will say that even coming up with Options for i could be the reason (you don't sleep at night) was tough. i was like 'what does one name a bed-sharing fic' and then never came up with an answer so. taylorswiftification it is!

27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

sunflower - did some clown makeup

dancing on my own - went to my birthday dinner

if we keep score - got smash drunk and ate chicken nuggets covered in nacho cheese (i am being so fr rn)

LNFLKFFNLNF this was mostly all because these were published on special occasions, though (halloween / my birthday / nye). normally when i finish a fic my celebration is either finally allowing myself to sleep OR watching a silly lil youtube video. im a simple guy !

send me fic writer asks!

[iguessitsjustme]

Be My Favorite - Episode 12 Thoughts

Oh look I’m watching it the day it airs for the finale. My predictions are: Max deserves better and Pear deserves better. I made myself some nachos and I bought chocolate earlier that’s not chillin in my freezer so let’s goooo:

-I was actually sick last week while watching the episode. Just a cold but I still have a cough and I think it’s so funny. Art imitates my life I guess lol

-Listening to the background vocals for the first time on this opening and holy shit way to go Krist hot damn I’m impressed. 

-I actually agree with Kawi about fame. It’s not everything and privacy concerns are so valid. 

-I’m still lost on this time travel thing. Do they inhabit their 17 year old bodies? Is it like a possession? What’s happening? I want answers I’ll never get. Wait are they even 17 at this point or are they older? Like early 20s?

-Dear BMF, I appreciate you giving the audience the roller coaster experience however I have severe motion sickness and now I feel ill so thanks for that. 

-I do like that they hold onto each others hands when they need support. I wish we had better build up to these moments though. 

-How long are these two gonna stare at each other? I get it but it’s boring to watch.

-Max my beloved. I missed you. 

-I’m glad Pear found someone who makes her happy. She deserves her happy ending more than any other character. 

-Did this show just give Not a happy ending of being a famous author cause I’m gonna go dive into some concrete. Dear lord we suffered him and yet there he remained. 

-WHY WAS THAT GUITAR SO CLOSE TO THE WATER?

-Also put that down before I scream. 

-There have been way too many montages in this show. 

-Seriously move that guitar before my blood pressure rises even more. 

-This was a perfectly passable show. Which is more than I can say about most Jittirain shows. 

-Max definitely deserved better. Where is his show? Where is his boyfriend?

[crimsun-n-clover]

today was so interesting

at one am i’m helping a friend who has never had to talk someone out of suicide before and then i’m out cold

i wake up like I WANNA DIE NOTHING MATTERS

and then i got gas station nachos and a monster energy so like i was fine

and then i got home just in time for therapy which was really just me going “i accidentally missed my meds for three days and it’s made me suicidal and VERY aggressive i hate everyone” “WTF STEVIE” “I KNOW I KNOW ILL TAKE MY FUCKING MEDS”

and then i was worn out to hell and back so i was like let me stop by the craft store and pick up some stuff i need to continue my project

and while i was there i also got some stuff to use as dnd miniatures because the players need something to represent themselves with. the pair of bards both got little geese, as they are silly geese. very funny, i know. i also got a star wars pattern for my next project.

i go to check out and the chick at the register is FINEEE.

she liked my battle jacket, laughed at my jokes, was perfectly fine with my nervous honesty (“this is for dnd. it’s so hard being the coolest dm in the world. my players don’t love me enough” “is it worth it” “oh definitely there’s nothing better”), we complimented each other and talked for a minute. she said she wanted to keep talking because it’s hard to find someone else who just clicks with her.

i gave her my insta @ bc like i have that now might as well warn her what my personality is like

she just followed me and her bio says 18+ and i’m 17 :/ so i have no chance with her romantically and wasted my rizz (autistic rambling) </3

and just now i was in the car blasting sabbath and went HOLY FUCK THE MOON IS BIG AND ORANGE and glanced at it a few more times on the way home

and at one point i saw something flaming coming down, and it looked too bright to be a shooting star. it looked like a rocket landing. i didn’t hear the sonic boom though and there are no launches scheduled for today. so maybe i just got the craziest shooting star ever. who fuckin knows man

[transmascmikey]

Tagged by my beloved @jerseymuppet and i am hardcore procrastinating so lets go!

Last song: grey veins by L.S. dunes i have had it on repeat since past lives came out. So far its my favorite on the record

Last movie: original evil dead for the first time, the practical effects are absolutely wild the just said "yeah lets add another unidentifiable substance" and they were so right for that

Currently watching: american horror stories, they're straight up okay but after finishing hannibal i have been missing my late night gore fix

Currently reading: a couple separate anthologies (mostly historical) and laura jane grace's autobiography

Currently working on: hardcore procrastinating design homework, just really not feeling these projects and now im two weeks behind oops

Favorite color: emerald green, unless its clothes then its that army olive green. All my outfits are stupid because i keep buying things that fucking color

Savory/sweet/spicy: savory all the way. Not much of a sweet tooth, candy especially sucks to me (but im great to have around on halloween since ill give you all my candy!)

Coffee/tea/cocoa: TEA. Especially ones that taste like dirt. Coffee tastes nasty to me and would make my heart explode

Craving: nachos. I make the best btw but i will never reveal my secrets

Not tagging anyone since we all have the same mutuals but if you want to play just say i sent you :D

[lonleygirl222]

Grab popcorn

Before I get started the names of people are changed to as follows

SKM (cousin)

Vet (skms wife)

Pman (roommate)

Adolf (roommates girlfriend)

Tsunami (SKMs friend)

This is LONG overdue. I’m so sick of people thinking they can get away with running their mouth on social media and it’s cool, like no. So I’m here to set the record straight with all the drama going on here. So sit back grab your popcorn, nachos what ever and enjoy this tea. With a capital T! There will be a part 2!

As some know my family and I started all over and moved to Texas April 2023. We moved in with SKM and her family. Me thinking everything was going to be fine and we didn’t plan on being here for a year at all. SKM told me that pman was on the fence about us moving in so that kind of made me feel some type of way. But we still ended up coming here. When we came we were aware of the “issues” between SKM and Pman. From day 3? My husband and I were put in a very weird situation. SKM was the aggressor in ALL the arguments. I’ll admit I smoke I do it because my anxiety has been out of control since moving here. But I have NEVER been an absent mom. How ever SKM would spend 90% of her time out side chugging down red bull & 5hr energy plus go through like 3 packs of cigarettes. (Idk how people wanna kiss her because she has a serious case of gum disease) so anyway. She had the audacity to tell to tell me that I’m an absent mom because I smoke weed.

Let’s go on to the first day we went to the beach with her “circle”. 3 other women who are blinded by her lies and fakery. Well one finally saw the light but yeah. I was supposed to hang and start dating one of her friends ( I’m glad it never went anywhere ) but her was engaged to her ex husbands little brother who barely peaked man hood under the age of 25. (NOT MY TYPE) anyway. I’m in the water as a lot of people were and tsunami’s “fiancé” was in the water and came up to me and asked me about my eyes no harm done there for me at least lol. But tsunami took it ALL the way up the butt and south. I wasn’t mad because at the end of the day it’s pure jealousy. I never told her about the nasty messages he sent me and he clearly couldn’t stop looking at me every time I was around. lol flattered but he’s a little boy. So SKM was the reason for the downfall with tsunami. (IN PART 2 ILL EXPOSE EVERYTHING SKM SAID ABOUT HER FRIENDS)

Anyway, so SKM “played” the good mom/ good wife role lol but I low key saw past her bull because I’m one of those people. I never told her I already knew what she would never say so I kept it pushing. When we moved in we didn’t know what to expect, she had two dogs two cats none of them were taken care of but by Pman and the kids (his kids). The dogs would use the bathroom in the house and the formal dining room was beyond disgusting. They were infested with fleas (we didn’t know about it) ~~THIS IS WHERE IT GET GOOD. ~~

My legs, my sons, and my daughters were eating by these fleas. So we’re Pmans kids. (They never spoke up to SKM because they were afraid of her.) my daughter had a doctors appointment and the doctor saw her legs and knew what the marks were. The doctor left the room and went to the hall where I went like 3 mins after. She asked me about the marks and I told her “we just moved here staying with family and we didn’t know she had fleas this bad” the doctor said she could call CPS about this. I told her please don’t do that there are other children there and we have no where else to go and to give us a chance to get it taken care of with treatments and exterminators. She gave me that chance. At this point we’re already home and things home were already weird because Pman and SKM got into because he caught SKM fist deep in vet. (Lesbian) so this mf s popped off she came up stairs to giggle and laugh about it like she was in middle school. Now her reason to be asking a fool is because she said “I HaVe 5 KiDs, i MiSsEd My WiLd YeArS” it’s like no one told you to lay on your back.🤷🏽‍♀️. It’s time to grow up and set a GOOD healthy example for your kids.. so she was already moved in another room at this time. So when we got home she decided to call my son a liar because he “used” her products when her son used it. But failed to realize I gave him stuff to use. (EXAMPLE OF A NARCISSIST: never admitting when you’re wrong) so I walked out side to tell her about the doctors appointment and tell her about the CPS thing because the flea issue was talked about a month prior to my daughters appointment. SKM knew Pman knew my husband knew. We were supposed to sit down anyway and go half on an exterminator. So before I could even tell her that the doctor WAS GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET IT TAKEN CARE OF she just jumped and said “OH SO YOURE GOING TO CALL CPS ON ME?” Like are you $tupid? If I call on you that would be calling on myself lol. I know SKM is mentally unstable (LITERALLY) but damn.

So anyway, Pman ended up kicking her out and she ALWAYS plays the victim (EXAMPLE OF A NARCISSIST: 2 always plays the victim when wrong) she made up a lie that he threw her out lol when there is not one but four other witnesses that differ lol okay. 😂. When she left she basically gutted the place. Took ALL the kids clothes. She blamed me for smoking her flower lol when I don’t smoke flower, pipes or anything. I’m ALL VAPE! I don’t wanna smell like w€€d. But she took everything. She broke some things and blamed me or my kid for it when once it left the house it’s no longer relevant. MONTHS go by and she makes several threats to expose my infidelity to my husband. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. So stop pushing a fake narrative to make YOU look good when it literally makes you lo0k like Quasimodo LITERALLY 😂. All you need is a church and a bell to ring. Lmfao!

I think I’ll end it here and come back soon for a part 2. lol because when I tell you guys this is good, sad, and crazy. 🤯

See ya

[no-not-without-you-blog]

Whumptember 11th: Tummy Ache

Warnings: Character overeating to the point of illness. Not associated with an eating disorder, but I wanted to put a content warning just in case. Please read responsibly and practice self love!

You shook your head as you poured the tea into two mugs. You should have known better than to let Steve go wild at Coney Island. You had never seen someone put away more food. You had been there about 6 hours total and in that time he ate three Nathan’s hotdogs, fried oreos, a full box of nachos, a large milkshake, full pizzas, funnel cakes, chili cheese fries, and then insisted that you get treats from Williams Candy. He had eaten two Jelly Marshmallows and a jelly apple. He made sure to get some Marshmallow balls to eat on the ride back home. To say you were both impressed and slightly concerned was an understatement. 

To be fair, he seemed to handle it all pretty well as you were walking around. The trouble came on the long drive back home. About thirty minutes into the drive, you noticed him starting to shift around in his seat. Ten minutes later, he was rubbing a few spots on his stomach and grimacing slightly. 

“You okay there, Jelly bean?” You smirked at him, knowing exactly what was the issue. 

“Ugh. Please don’t call me that right now.” He groaned, breathing out as if trying to calm down his roiling insides. “Do you think you could drive the rest of the way home? I need to close my eyes for a bit.”

You smiled but agreed. It wasn’t often that he would willingly give up driving. He loved driving, so if he was asking to switch, you knew he was in serious discomfort. He pulled over to the side of the road and you two swapped. He was buckled up but he had turned on to his side and brought his legs up as far as he could. It was almost comical to see this big, muscular man curled up into the smallest ball he could manage, but the look of pain on his face kept you from poking fun at him.

After what felt like forever to him, you pulled up to your apartment and he hobbled his way inside. He quickly made his way to change into more comfortable clothes and then miserably laid on the couch. You sat in front of him on the coffee table and gave him a small smile.

“What can I do, love? I have my heating pad that may help. And I can make you some peppermint tea. That always helps calm my stomach.”

He nodded and murmured a thank you. You set up your heating pad and let him get it into a comfortable position, hoping that it would help ease some of the stomach cramps he was having. You made him a hot cup of peppermint tea and as you brought it over to him, he thanked you and sat up slightly to drink it. After blowing on it to cool it down for a few minutes, he took a hesitant sip. You noticed his scrunched up face as he swallowed down the drink.

“Too hot?” You asked him, unsure of the cause of the face. He shook his head no and looked up at you sheepishly. “It could do with some sugar.”

A loud, boisterous laugh escaped your lips and you shook your head in disbelief.

“Sweetheart. The last thing you need right now is more sugar.” You laughed softly once more, smiling at him with love. “Drink your tea.” You commanded him.

 He grumbled at the thought of the unsweetened tea but dutifully drank it and then laid his head on your lap, his eyes closing as you lightly scratched his scalp with your nails. 

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess today. I just got there and couldn’t help myself. When I was young, the few times that we were able to go to Coney Island, we couldn’t really buy much fair food. I was always so desperate to try it all, especially the sweets. I guess going today and seeing it all and knowing that I could buy it made me want to. I may have gone a little overboard.” 

You laughed again but leaned down to give his forehead a kiss before you continued running your fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes in relaxation. He may be miserable from having eaten so much in such a short period of time, but if it led to him lying here with your hands in his hair, he would do it all over again.

[scoups4lyfe]

Hebi Anon

Yeah, that little scene of Taro tossing Haruka aside cemented him in my mind as an asshole

Haruka and Saruhara were nothing but nice and helpful this entire episode. They saw he was basically ill and, completely of their own accord, went to find answers and a solution.

Sure the first time it didn't work properly because Jin is an asshole who withholds critical information (about his SON) for no reason, but it did help. Taro would never have been able to save so many people during that chase if they didn't give him that first round of kibi dango. Then they again go out of their way to do it properly. Even when Kaito ends up bringing one too little, Taro even admits that (somehow, why is never explained and that's a writing pet peeve of mine), Haruka's actions made up for that deficit.

And then he just tosses her aside without even a thank you. For what? For laughs? Haruka has been nothing but helpful and he does that? There is no amount of neurodivergency that can excuse that, that's just the actions of an asshole.

Once you get up to the point where I gave up on Donbrothers I'll give a full write up of why I hate Taro (warning in advance, it actually involves some deep seated traumatic rage)

Time to put on my Momoi-Apologist glasses (LOL)

I should preface this first: Your thoughts are completely valid. I can see why you'd dislike Tarou after he throws Haruka halfway across the yard, rip. Seems like he's just taking her effort for granted and being a huge jerkwad. I just hope y'all Momoi antis can take a few deep breathes and come into my analysis with an open mind. Cause I love discussion.

I'm also prefacing that I'll be quoting from academic material and books as well, so prepare for that. This will probably be unnecessarily long so I'm putting a cut here too

:]

Me and Nacho actually discussed Momoi quite a bit, and one thing that had continued to stump me was how Momoi would completely change his personality the moment he transformed.

Dude just idk became iNSANE to me. And so I really was like ???

So here's a set of questions I'm going to try and answer and explain.

(1) Why does Momoi's personality change when he becomes Don Momotaro?

(2) Why does he answer everything he's asked?

(3)Why does he hit or disrespect his teammates or attack them in battle when he says he "doesn't hit people"

Let's get into it.

So first:

" And then he just tosses her aside without even a thank you. For what? For laughs? Haruka has been nothing but helpful and he does that? There is no amount of neurodivergency that can excuse that, that's just the actions of an asshole."

Quoting this down here because I disagree. "There is no amount of neurodivergency that can excuse that, that's just the actions of an asshole." I think its really easy to see Momoi's behaviors and label him an a$$hole.

But he acts like that for a reason.

He's on the spectrum.

I’m not equating being on the spectrum with ‘bad’ or ‘ rude behavior. I’m saying Momoi deals and processes and copes in a different way.

(Is this an excuse? No. But I want it to be noted here that his mind fundamentally works differently. ADHD is similar to Autism in a lot of ways, but there are still a lot of differences, and that doesn't account for differences among individuals as well.)

So let's get to it.

(1) Why does his personality change?

(Inserting a conversation I had with Nacho about this. For context, we where discussing episode 7, when Momoi calls them, Haruka and Haiku, his "companions". Nacho told me what word he was saying and why they reacted like that LOL. )

Nacho:

So tomodachi, to me that word insinuates an affection between two people, like high school classmates. Japanese school, you see the same people you're whole life so your bonds with your school friends are just a tiny step down from family

So it might not necessarily be a deep friendship, but it's the most obviously affectionate

Nakama is more about a bond like you're people on a journey. So like, less affection, but more devotion. Like you feel a strong loyalty to someone, but you might not define yourselves as close in any sense of the word

And then Tarou freaking says that they're his お供 (otomo) LOL!!!!

Which is very, Idk, it sounds archaic

It give me a mental image of a rogue vagabond and is 5 sidekicks. In medieval Japan.

Otomo is different than otmodachi. Like it's spelled different too :))

お供 (otomo) is spelled with the kanji for submit/offer/serve/accompany

Which is why it gives this image to me (rogue vagabond). And why it's HILARIOUS that he called them that.

Basically "you're my sidekick companions"

No wonder his friends were like "HUH????" Truly the appropriate reaction.

Ngl, now that the idea was planted, Tarou does remind me of my autistic family members

Idk, maybe fixated is the wrong word but Idk the correct ones. But having a preference for certain speech patterns and not differing from them to incorporate nuance in conversation.

Like Idk all the context, but like for whatever reason, Tarou is attached to talking or referencing or alluding to archaic language. Assuming that Tarou is on the spectrum, he might not be able to really incorporate the nuances of molding himself into the legendary hero he wants to be—hence he adapts old language and this goofy personality bc it comes with the package of being Momotarou.

It'd be like if I thought to myself that I want to mold myself into a Superman-esque persona, but I also put on the blue spandex and wore fake glasses randomly

Those things have nothing to do with what Superman's admirable qualities are, but I'd be unable to take some qualities and leave the other, have to do things in black and white.

Me: Woah. I was wondering why Momoi always acted insane specifically when he transforms. Like he doesn't normally go around WAHAHA'ing

Nacho: Right. I mean that part especially reminds me of my autistic family members LOL. Definitely should read up more about it, but adhering to some sort of predictable character/caricature that they admire, that brings comfort. It's jarring for people not on the spectrum bc we read social cues that tell us some behaviors are odd, but others can't tell that.

Like it's obvious not to randomly laugh like a maniac to us, but it's not obvious to people on the spectrum.

[I ask about why Momoi answers every question he's asked]

Nacho: Pasting this from the American Journal of Medicine,

"Autistic patients commonly demonstrate restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior. For example, as children or adults, autistic individuals may continue to repetitively handle and play with objects such as toy automobiles rather than interacting with other persons. These repetitive actions are referred to as “stimming”—self-stimulating behaviors, usually involving repetitive movements or sounds.""

Nacho: I'm sure we all know this to some extent but you know, using a real source this time LOL

So yeah with this, for people who aren't autistic, change is normal

J: but people with autism need the repetition?

Nacho: Yeah exactly, for autistic people, rigidity is normal, not change .So even people who are neurodivergent and can't pick up social cues, they will naturally try to find the answer.

J: I see, that's why when change is introduced to them, it can tend to cause a lot of stress....right?

Nacho: Right, and from my understanding, the idea that you can change your behavior, that's foreign.

I don't want to assume that there ISN'T any truth to the argument that Tarou is not trying to change. BUT I think it's important to consider how change is something that's only normal to some people.

Like in a more physical manifestation of autism, a kid might do repetitive things like scratching their ear right? Someone might say "why aren't they trying to change?"

Especially when they get older. But the idea that someone would think "man, I should change this thing I'm doing"--that doesn't even register as an option

It's like a tricky multiple choice question

Where you have answers A and B

And then the teacher tells you it should've been C: neither. And you're like "BUT THAT WASN'T AN OPTION"

Again,

I don't think Tarou realizes that avoiding to talk is even an option. It's only A or B

/end of our conversation/

(This was all Nacho's brilliant analysis lmao. I noted when I talked or when J talked. So if I didn't note it specifically, assume Nacho was talking.)

Anyways, this brought me the realization that Momoi's personality changes because he's putting on a character, a 'persona'. He doesn't know how to be the hero "Momotarou" without it.

It's easy to imagine too.

Like Jin named Momoi after the Momotarou fairytale. It would be a fair assumption to think that he would then read him the fairytale or tell him about it?

And so Momoi is essentially doing what the fairytale Momotarou did.

Heroes being pricks isn't a new concept either. A lot of them are portrayed as having a sort of natural "bravado." Like Tony Stark for instance. He's arrogant, a narcissist, AND he's rude. And you can see some of that bravado in Momoi.

NOW! Time to get on quotes from my research.

This topic had me looking into books, and so I read "Uniquely Human" by Barry M. Prizant.

And this gave me the language to analyze Momoi and somewhat hypothesize why he acts the way that he does.

"When a child with extreme sensory sensitivities enters a noisy room and cups his hands over his ears and rocks his body, this pattern of behavior is simultaneously a sign of dysregulation and a coping strategy. You could call it “autistic behavior.” Or you could ask “Why is he doing that?” The answer is twofold: the child is revealing that something is amiss and that he has developed a response to shut out what is causing him anxiety."

"Whether or not we realize it, all humans employ these rituals and habits to help us regulate ourselves—soothe ourselves, calm our minds and bodies, and help us cope. Perhaps, like many people, you find public speaking unnerving. To calm yourself, you might take a series of deep breaths or pace back and forth while you speak. That’s not exactly the way humans typically breathe or behave in public, but an observer would not judge this as deviant behavior. The person would understand that it’s your way to cope with the stress of the situation and to soothe your nerves so that you can do your best.

When I return home from a day of work, I immediately check the mailbox, then sort the mail, placing bills in one pile, magazines in another, and tossing what I don’t need in the recycling bin. It would take a significant distraction for me to skip that small but important ritual; then I would feel out of sorts on some level until I took care of it. It’s a calming routine; it’s how I come home.

For people with autism, comforting rituals and coping mechanisms come in all varieties: moving in particular ways, speaking in various patterns, carrying familiar items, lining up objects to create predictable and unchanging surroundings. Even proximity to certain people can serve as a regulating strategy. After coming home from a busy school day, Aaron, who was eight, had a habit of placing both palms on a table in front of him and then rhythmically jumping in place. His parents noted that the intensity and duration of his jumping were a good barometer of how stressful his day had been. Just as infants are comforted and soothed by being rocked, and toddlers run in circles to stay awake, we all use movement to modulate our emotional and physiological arousal.

If people with autism feel underaroused, they increase their alertness by spinning, bouncing, or swinging. If they’re overstimulated, they might calm themselves by pacing, snapping their fingers, or staring at a fan.

Ok. Let's take a break from quoting LOL!

I bolded this part because it really stood out to me; things were beginning to make a lot of sense with this knowledge in the back of my mind as I re-examine some of Momoi’s behaviors.

What does Momoi do every time he transforms, or right before he does something crazy? He laughs.

"WAHAHAHA." <-He does this because it helps increase his alertness.

Likewise, in episode 7, why do you think Momoi got out his fan right before he aggravated the MOTW? It's because he was upset at his comrades being attacked and he needed something comforting to focus on, to help him calm down. After he gets it out he starts laughing --> He's ready to be Don Momotarou.

Tarou needs to "flip on" his Don character when he goes into fighting because it makes having to fight a possibility for him. He's changing the script from "battle" to "play/game".

Un-transformed he says "I don't hit people" and this is true.

But transformed he does; like in this Haruka example listed by Hebi anon. He does (hit people) because he has to and this helps him cope with that.

Now, so why did he hit Haruka / attack his comrades? >:)

Quote: (Uniquely Human)

Seeking to eliminate behavior without fully understanding its purpose is not only unhelpful; it also shows a lack of respect for the individual. Worse, it can make life more difficult for the person with autism. That was the case for Lucy, an eleven-year-old. Her public school teachers had reported that Lucy, who did not speak, was an extremely aggressive child, prone to unpredictably lunging and clawing at the faces and necks of teachers and therapists. When I spent a morning observing her in my role advising the district, the problem became clear. Much of the work the educators and therapists were doing with Lucy consisted of matching exercises; they repeatedly asked her to match pictures and images on cards or to point to pictures on command.

I quickly deduced why Lucy appeared to be springing at her teachers. In the midst of the activity, the assistant abruptly changed course. She stopped showing pictures and instead wrote Lucy’s name on a card, placed it in a row with other cards, and asked the girl to identify it. Almost immediately Lucy dove toward the young woman, trying to pull on her blouse in protest.

Why?

The therapist had shifted the pattern, changing the rules without warning.

When a highly anxious child craves routine to understand the world, it’s no wonder a sudden change throws her off. To test my theory, later that day I watched Lucy stroll with a teacher along a familiar school hallway. Then I suggested that the teacher alter the route from the usual routine. When she did, Lucy, suddenly upset, again lunged and grabbed at the teacher’s neck and blouse just as she had before.

It was clear that the grabbing wasn’t aggressive behavior; it was a plea for support at a moment of extreme confusion. Lucy didn’t intend harm. She was confounded during a familiar activity; she had become more anxious and dysregulated, approaching a state of panic.

....

So Momoi didn't intend on harming Haruka here, but because he spent the entire episode ill and vulnerable, what was routine had been changed. He did this as "a plea of support at a moment of extreme confusion." Basically, the power dynamics in their "play" shifted. He had been relying on Haruka (when he usually doesn't rely on anyone, mostly always in control of the battle) and by throwing her he's doing it to show thanks.

"I am able to be myself again. You helped me go back to being a hero." (Play his role)

Haruka had shifted the pattern, changing the rules. Likewise, when they went to defeat the monster in episode 3 and FAILED -- she swears fealty and he responds by kicking her and then attacking his teammates (LOL). This is because Sononi disrupted the pattern (defeat monster, save person). She interrupted the routine and killed the monster/human and Momoi didn't know how to regulate himself. Therefore he chose to attack his teammates.

Esp because he only attacked Haruka AFTER she swore fealty, so basically, she was saying "yeah I'll be ur helpful sidekick" and at that moment Momoi needed help getting rid of his anxiety/aggression/confusion at the routine being disrupted and a person being killed.

In episode 7 they ask him "yo, if we're ur companions why did u attack us?" And Momoi said it was to train them so 'they wouldn't hold him back'

For me, I think what Tarou's really trying to communicate, is that he attacks them because HE sees it as a way to protect his friends from being harmed. The first time he ever attacked them was in the episode where his routine was interrupted and they failed to save someone. I don't doubt this made Momoi upset, and anxious. He doesn't want his friends to die like that monster did and he doesn't want more monsters to die (in general) therefore --> attacking his teammates = training = they can protect themselves and save monsters ergo his routine won't get interrupted and they won't be "holding him back"

"Holding him back" can also metaphorically mean emotionally. Like instead of holding him back cuz they're weak, it's more they're holding him back because if he's busy being worried/anxious about them he won't be able to focus on the battle.

...

Another book I read for research "The Reason I Jump: The inner-voice of a 13-yr-old Boy With Autism"

(Notably, the boy who wrote/answered the questions asked in the book was 13 at the time, and also he's Japanese as well, so I’d say it’s culturally relevant. I knew it would be nice to have varied voices/sources. So I included this.)

"Sometimes, people with autism speak with a strange intonation, or use language in a different way. Non-autistic people can sort out what they want to say in real- time, while they’re having their conversation. But in our case, the words we want to say and the words we can say don’t always match that well. Which is why our speech can sound a bit odd, I guess. When there’s a gap between what I’m thinking and what I’m saying, it’s because the words coming out of my mouth are the only ones I can access at that time. These words are either available because I’m always using them or because they left a lasting impression on me at some point in the past. ."

Now this next quote I'm putting down is because it directly reminded me of Haruka, Haiku, and Momoi's episode 4 Cafe conversation. The scene starts with Haruka and Haiku bombarding Momoi with questions.

"You normal people, you talk at an incredible speed. Between thinking something in your head and saying it takes you just a split second. To us, that’s like magic! So is there something wrong with the circuitry in our brains? Life’s been tough for people with autism, pretty much for ever, yet nobody’s really been able to identify the causes of autism. For sure, it takes us ages to respond to what the other person has just said. The reason we need so much time isn’t necessarily because we haven’t understood, but because by the time it’s our turn to speak, the reply we wanted to make has often upped and vanished from our heads.

“I don’t know if this is making a whole lot of sense to you. Once our reply has disappeared, we can never get it back again. What did he say again? How was I going to answer her question? ... Search me! And all the while, we’re being bombarded by yet more questions. I end up thinking, this is just hopeless. It’s as if I’m drowning in a flood of words."

Momoi's reaction and response here now make a lot more sense, right? You can actually visibly see how Momoi is taken aback by all their questions. He looks uncomfortable. Unsure.

Vulnerable.

He isn't condemning them or mocking them and saying "just do what you're supposed to do, why are you asking questions." He genuinely doesn't know and he's anxious from all the questions they spring upon him. He doesn't even know how to answer the first one and he's drowning in all their words.

Like, is it really a wonder he stood up, turned AWAY from them (not looking at them) and instead went and sat at a counter before asking his question?

And what he asked was if it was really necessary to know the reason for everything. Now, consider this, what if this is another echo of things he's heard? Perhaps how Jin has responded to his questions before?

He's anxious and stressed from their questions, it wouldn't be surprising if he fell back on a response he's heard before.

.....

This below quote reminded me of the end of episode 4 when Momoi's job is essentially finished and so he stops showing up to the Oni-giri shop/the consultant work place. AND the added cut to him being alone by the pier.

"‘Ah, don’t worry about him – he’d rather be on his own.’ How many times have we heard this? I can’t believe that anyone born as a human being really wants to be left all on their own, not really. No, for people with autism, what we’re anxious about is that we’re causing trouble for the rest of you, or even getting on your nerves. This is why it’s hard for us to stay around other people. This is why we often end up being left on our own.

The truth is, we’d love to be with other people. But because things never, ever go right, we end up getting used to being alone, without even noticing this is happening. Whenever I overhear someone remark how much I prefer being on my own, it makes me feel desperately lonely. It’s as if they’re deliberately giving me the cold-shoulder treatment."

(Honestly this BREAKS my fkin heart. Because this is so obvious in that lonely pier shot of his. Just the contrast of the people celebrating at the Onigiri shop, and Momoi all alone, staring off into the distance at the deep waters in front of him.)

To me -- at this point, it's painfully obvious that Momoi is on the spectrum. (IMO. He’s at least exhibiting a lot of traits / is coded that way) I know you (Hebi anon) said you had trouble with his behavior or the things he says, but when you look at it through this lens it all starts to connect.

First, I need to say, Momoi isn't doing ANY of this maliciously. Even his attacks on Haruka. If you're like "that doesn't make any sense" -- well, exactly. Because we aren't looking at it from Momoi’s context. When you ask "WHY" and examine his actions and the context it's in, it puts things into perspective.

(Uniquely human quote:)

That’s a common theme in the children with whom I have worked. Animated movies of all kinds hold a particular fascination for children on the autism spectrum, capturing their attention like almost nothing else. Why?

Many children find the predictability and consistency of animated characters (as well as the music) comforting, a welcome contrast to the unpredictable nature of real people in everyday situations. In Monsters, Inc. or Madagascar, the characters’ vocal, facial, and body language is exaggerated, making emotions easier to decipher for such children. People with autism also find the clear delineation of good and evil characters an appealing alternative to the more nuanced gray areas they encounter in real life. And repetitive viewings engender a reassuring sense of familiarity and mastery.

--> This is why Don Momotarou is so....animated and exaggerated.

And for why he laughs, or repeats phrases? Like the "It's a festival!" Phrase? It's delayed echolalia, or scripting.

Echolalia is something that can be seen as a one commonality for a good handful of people on the spectrum. Essentially they're echoing the words / phrases of things that they hear. And this can be for MULTIPLE reasons.

(1) Because they like saying the phrase and it gives them comfort.

(2) To ask a question

(3) As a self-soothing ritual or coping mechanism to help them with their situation.

etc. etc. etc.

To share an example….yes from Uniquely Human 🤪:

“One day we had the children create an art project with paints, but instead of paint brushes, they used pieces of sponge. Afterward David discovered bits of the cut-up sponge on the floor of the classroom. Just as he had with the fuzz balls, he began picking them up one at a time, closely examining each as he rubbed it between his fingers, savoring the texture. “That’s a piece of sponge,” I said. “That’s a piece of sponge,” he echoed. “That’s a piece of sponge, sponge, sponge!” Again I could see the joy he derived from the combination of the feeling of the material and the sound of the words coming out of his mouth. As he clutched the bits of sponge in his cupped hands and looked at the others on the floor, he began to dance around the room on tiptoes. “That’s a piece of sponge, sponge, sponge!” he kept saying. “That’s a piece of sponge!” The real revelation came the next day. By then the classroom had been cleaned. We had cleared away the art project and someone had straightened up and vacuumed away all the debris. When David arrived in the classroom, though, he returned to exactly the spot in the room where a day earlier he had come upon the sponge bits. I watched as he repeated his dance, shifting his gaze to me and saying, “That’s a piece of sponge, sponge, sponge! That’s a piece of sponge!”

Consider this:

What if a visitor had happened into the classroom that day to observe the children? Imagine such a person watching this little boy coming into the room, full of energy, and then performing a little dance and babbling on about a sponge. The visitor might easily have dismissed the behavior as absurd. Or silly. Or random. The visitor might have questioned David’s grip on reality—or at least his understanding of the word sponge.

But if you had been in the room the previous day, if you had shared the conversation with David that I did, if you knew about his enthusiasm for new textures, then you would have understood exactly what was going on. This little boy was recounting his experience of the previous day—not only the facts of the experience (the materials used in the art project) but, more important, his own feelings of excitement about it.

He was telling a story."

(end quote example.)

So what story is Momoi telling? Well, I'd like to examine that scene in episode 4 -- the flashback to Momoi's past.

When he sees those protestors he says to Jin:

"Its a fun festival!'

Now, I'm beginning to realize he didn't say that just because he thought that was what it was. He's echoing something he probably heard Jin or someone else say -- the time they went to a festival. More than that he's probably asking a question: It's a fun festival, Jin! -->Look at all the people gathered! Why are they gathered? Are they celebrating? What's going on?

He's asking a question, through delayed echolalia as well as making an observation.

Here's another example (from Uniquely Human, I really recommend reading it LOL) :

"Often children use echoes to tell us what they’re thinking, but rarely in ways that are immediately obvious. The father of Kyle, a young boy with autism, once invited me to join the two of them on a sailboat in Narragansett Bay, Rhode Island. In the middle of a lovely afternoon, we were anchoring in a little cove when the boy began running up and down the deck as he anxiously leaned over to peer into the water. “No dogs! Dogs bite!” he kept saying with increasing urgency, looking back at his dad. “No dogs! Dogs bite!” No dogs? We were out on the water, with no other boats nearby—no people, no animals. Just waves and wind. What could he have been talking about?

His father knew exactly what he meant. “He’s asking if he can go swimming.” I asked the father to explain.

He told me that Kyle had a fear of dogs. When he felt anxious about his safety, that was how he expressed it: “No dogs! Dogs bite!” Now he wanted to go swimming in the shallow cove, but he wasn’t sure whether this was a safe place, so he was asking. With that phrase he accomplished three things: he expressed his fear, requested permission from his dad, and made sure it was safe. And when his father responded “It’s okay, it’s safe! No dogs!,” Kyle jumped in with great glee."

This example.....is so good. Now some of what Tarou says or does makes a lot more sense.

When he goes into battle he scripts it as "a fun festival" because he's using an echo of a fun experience from his childhood, an experience that obv left a lasting impression. One that can comfort him, or that he can use to cope with being thrown randomly into battles and fighting.

It's not so scary if he's a hero, right? Like the ones in his fairytales. Because heroes ALWAYS beat the bad guys.

Even more than that -- he can deal with it if its a game or contest or festival. "This isn't a scary life-or-death experience. This is a fun game!" This is how Momoi copes.

Now, onto Momoi and his thing with mistakes/weaknesses:

(Taken from An Autistic Japanese 13 yr old's own account)

“When I see I’ve made a mistake, my mind shuts down. I cry, I scream, I make a huge fuss, and I just can’t think straight about anything any more. However tiny the mistake, for me it’s a massive deal, as if Heaven and Earth have been turned upside down. For example, when I pour water into a glass, I can’t stand it if I spill even a drop.

It must be hard for you to understand why this could make me so unhappy. And even to me, I know really that it’s not such a big deal. But it’s almost impossible for me to keep my emotions contained. Once I’ve made a mistake, the fact of it starts rushing towards me like a tsunami. And then, like trees or houses being destroyed by the tsunami, I get destroyed by the shock. I get swallowed up in the moment, and can’t tell the right response from the wrong response. All I know is that I have to get out of the situation as soon as I can, so I don’t drown. To get away, I’ll do anything. Crying, screaming and throwing things, hitting out even…

Finally, finally, I’ll calm down and come back to myself. Then I see no sign of the tsunami attack – only the wreckage I’ve made. And when I see that, I hate myself. I just hate myself."

Ok. I'll end my essay here.

I just want to say, Momoi's action make sense if you look at it from his context with a lens of what people who are autistic / on the spectrum are like. Sorry for such a long response man :x,