#ill lose my fucking mind but whatever makes you happy queen

[widevibratobitch]

frustrated as all fuck but cant do shit about it because mom is grieving and i dont wanna add to it by being a bitch

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials S2 Ep 6 - Rambling/Thoughts

I really cannot believe that we’re at the penultimate episode already, oh my gosh. It’s gone by so fast??

Again, because I’ve reread TSK in the last couple of weeks, the book is fresh in my mind but I’ve probably still missed stuff

Also last week was so intense and seeing the “previously on” section made me remember just how intense that was, so it’s a hard job to top that!

ANGELS AHH RIGHT AWAY IM GEEKING OUT

“The last time they were seen was to make war” - IT’S HAPPENING ASDFGHJKL

Ruta going off to see Asriel and me just remembering what exactly went down between them while she was there with him... heh

So Will’s hand looks AWFUL oh my god poor Will 😭

Pan is REALLY into his Red PAN-da form oh my goodness

So the other kids out for revenge terrified the living SHIT out of me, dear god I don’t think it could be any creepier than dozens of them appearing out of the shadows like that, like it’s genuinely terrifying

Serafina just dropped right in to rescue them and I was both relieved and a little disappointed? Because in the book the whole chase sequence is so much longer and more important, like it takes up most of an entire chapter I think, and here it’s like two minutes?

Serafina: What does this edge cut? // Lyra: Everything (Will at the same time: Nothing.) - 😂

I missed Lee and Jopari tbh so yay to seeing them once more! And they’ve crossed into the next world!

Oh hi again Mary!

^ I wasn’t expecting to see Mary again this series because in TSK book, her last appearance is going through the window (which was last episode), so I’m a little curious as to whether we’re going to get a TINY little peek into The Amber Spyglass here (it’s been years since I reread it, I apologize). Because last series they did a bit of TSK (namely introducing Will + him crossing into Cittagazze), so it would be interesting!

“Good, something I can understand for a change” - LOL Same

Serafina wants to take Lyra back to her world?? Really??

Not gonna lie, the two girls spying on Mary was kind of low-key creepy

Lyra mentioning that she crossed worlds to find out about Dust and mentioning Roger 😭

Also I’m so emotional over just how much she wants Will to be safe, like she would really do anything to keep him safe and I love it

Lyra asking the Alethiometer where Will’s dad is and “he’s in this world” - ahhh it’s going to happen!

Also I really hope that the BBC/whoever decides to sell replica Alethiometers because the design is so beautiful?! I would fork out serious dough for one, and it would go nicely with the one I have from the film

No but seriously, words don’t describe just how badly I want a replica

“I wanted to fly so I summoned you here, now I’m flying” - LOL OKAY THEN JOHN

Ooh damn, that outfit Marisa is wearing is FINE. I’m slightly gayer than I was before, ngl

I was like “nooo Mary don’t be nice to these kids, they’re awful”

But it’s very sweet that she offers them food?? Like she pulls a chocolate bar out and is like “it’s no good for you, it’s full of sugar”... I love her

The way that Mary was so happy and excited when they mentioned Lyra, only to tell the girls off for trying to kill her - more of a mum than Mrs Coulter tbh

“Miss, can I have a hug?” - AWWW OMG WHY AM I SAD

They asked Mary to stay and look after them omg 😭😭😭

“Come with me, I’ll bring you to your adults” - ooh okay this could go any number of ways... Either she actually reunites them with their families and all’s well, or she takes them up there and their parents/adults are all dead (for lack of a better word)? Or the Spectres attack after Mary leaves them with the adults??

Jopari talking about meeting his dæmon and also a little bit about trying to get back to his family :(

“Can you magic us up a fire?” “One moment” *presents a box of matches” - LMFAO

Wait did Serafina seriously just imply that she thought Will might hurt Lyra?!?

Serafina saying that if protecting Lyra means protecting Will as well... Yes, protect Will please! Protect BOTH of these children, I literally BEG you, they’ve gone through far too much

Ooh okay so the witch ritual/spell was kind of cool to see!

Lyra saying “please tell me he’ll be alright” 😭♥️

The fact that Lyra curled up close to Will and then Pan (in ermine form) curled up CLOSER to Will is so cute, they both love Will so much

Pan: “We feel safe her... don’t we?” / OOF OKAY THIS IS F I N E

I already know what Lyra’s “other name” is because I read the book but the hints are anything BUT subtle tbh. “Mother of us all, cause of all sin, tempted by the serpent”... I’m not even that religious but I think it’s pretty obvious.

Also, if Mary is playing the part of the “serpent” within Lyra’s destiny, does that mean that Mary has tempted Lyra? Or that she will?

Boreal being nervous about being in the city and Marisa is just so unimpressed by him... Mood

That smirk she had when going up to that Spectre victim was so chilling, we have to stan Ruth Wilson and her incredible acting

Also, fun fact, Ruth Wilson went to my sixth form college and is from Surrey (like me), and she grew up in Shepperton, which is where my Nan used to live when she was alive (my uncle and aunt live there still), so that’s super exciting!

“We could learn from this” - PLEASE DO NOT MA’AM

God I hate the Magisterium so fucking much, the patriarchy is so strong with them

Oh great, now they’re gunning to kill Lyra :/

Also, off topic, I’ve only just connected that Will Keen, who plays Father MacPhail, is Dafne Keen’s dad?!?

“She’s lost a lot for one so young” - AND SHE’S STILL GOING TO LOSE PEOPLE, WHY IS THIS FAIR PHILIP PULLMAN 😭

“She must be protected” - AGAIN, they BOTH need protecting PLEASE

The Spectre noises reminded me of the noises of the Smoke Monster from LOST, so that’s definitely trippy for me

Thanks, I hate it

I nearly shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING” out loud in front of both my parents, I seriously thought she had a damn death wish

I have never been so damn tense in my entire life as I am watching this show - and I KNOW what happens

HOW DID SHE DO THAT WITH THE SPECTRES SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Lee’s so worried about Lyra - 11/10, Father of the Year

The Magisterium airships... NO. FUCK. WE’RE AT THAT POINT ALREADY AND IM NOT OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW AND WHERE THIS ENDS AND I HATE IT

I deadass thought Marisa and Carlo were about to kiss when he ran up to her and I actually said out loud “NO please don’t”

Look I must just be so dirty minded but when she said “let’s celebrate”, my immediate reaction was “NO NO NO NO EW EW EW NO” and “I hope she just means having a drink and not doing the frickety-frack”

I was so close to tearing up as Will was talking about his mum, her illness, and the boys who were mean to her because of it. His love for his mum is so beautifully written and the way Amir Wilson is playing Will is so wonderful

I was also close to tears when he was talking about his dad and how he used to imagine about his dad, so maybe I’m just emotional anyway

“Could go to school... have friends” - okay yeah no I’m definitely crying 😭

“I couldn’t trust anyone.” “Until you met me.” “Yeah.” - EXCUSE ME ♥️😭 my HEART

I love one (1) soft boy, and one (1) feral girl and her dæmon

The relief I felt when I saw Marisa and Carlo were literally just having drinks 😅

“They consume what makes us human, so I just suppressed that and hid it” + *cut to the monkey looking kinda sad/uncomfortable* - Umm fUCK OKAY THEN

Why am I feeling sorry for the monkey?!?

“You think we’re equal?” - LMFAO RIGHT

EWW THEY KISSED. No, just... nO

When I saw his snake dæmon moving towards her monkey, I thought one of two things was about to happen: 1) the monkey was going to pet and paw and the snake as Marisa seduced Boreal, or 3) the monkey was going to strange the snake and kill Boreal

OKAY THIS TOOK A SHARP BUT NOT UNWELCOMED TURN

“You’ve NEVER been my equal.” “You’d only hold me back.” - OH MY GOD YES THE SHADE

She’s not wrong though let’s be honest here

So she poisoned him I’m assuming? She poisoned his drink because the monkey didn’t actually touch the snake... damn.

Her just sitting there and continuing to drink with his dead body there is... damn.

“Into that valley” NO NO, please no

Jopari really just summoned a whole damn storm huh

Also the fact he fully trusts in Lee’s abilities to land them safely :3

Lee: “Can we trust him?” // Hester: “Do we have another choice?!!” - LMFAO I love them so much

THE WAY I NEARLY SCREAMED WHEN THAT WITCH GOT ATTACKED BY A SPECTRE OMFG AT LEAST WILL WAS THERE TO SAVE HER

Okay but did Marisa REALLY sit there for HOURS with Boreal’s corpse sitting opposite her?!?

Her burning her hand on the flame in front of the monkey, and the monkey clearly whimpering and in pain was so agonizing to watch, I can’t take this show

Also, you have to wonder just how many times she’s harmed herself (and him) for her to keep doing it with next to no problems (like separating from each other all the time)

I was so excited to see the birds attacking the zeppelins, like it was one of my favourite details in the book, and I worried that they wouldn’t have the budget for it but yay!

I do kind of wish that we’d had Sayan Kötor as the “eagle Queen” leading them though - she probably was but I wish we’d actually seen it or heard Jopari say it or whatever

THEY SHOT THE GAS CANNISTER OH SHIT THEY’RE GOING DOWN HARD AND FAST IN THAT BALLOON

HOLD ON BBC YOU CANNOT END THIS THERE?!? EXCUSE ME?!

The last episode is next week and on an hour earlier, so that’s exciting! I have no idea what I’ll do once this series ends, or when we’ll even get the third and final series because of COVID and filming delays, but I’m excited for it nonetheless and hoping it’s next November/December or something!

[elenamiria]

Better Have My Money

Pairing: Maul x Reader Darth Maul comes to you, a syndicate leader, to join the Crimson Dawn. You offer him a deal that he can’t refuse and one that benefits both of you greatly.

Word Count: 3.8k Warnings: Smuttt, fingering, exhibitionism, fem reader, Switch reader, and Maul is a switch (i don’t make the rules), cannon typical violence, reader is not nice (but neither is maul but they aren’t mean to each other)

Thank you so much to @hxldmxdxwn who not only beta read this for me but also so many of her fics inspired my interpretation of Maul! If you haven’t read her stuff go do it, everything she writes is amazing! 

I’m starting a collection of song inspired fics and this is the first one. The song it’s based off of is Bitch Better Have My Money (obviously) by queen Rihanna! If you like this and have any requests for songs and/or SW characters just let me know! (also if you wanna read my other fic it’s here - it’s Obi-Wan x Reader)  

You didn’t get to your position by being kind. Running a crime syndicate was a difficult task, running one as a woman - near impossible. Others consistently underestimated you but that was to your advantage, the amount of people you conned into horrible deals simply because they didn’t think you would deliver must be in the hundreds. When they couldn’t flow through on their end you let them know that you would give them time, but you would collect one way or another. You relied not on brute strength like some groups but instead you had a vast network of spies. You consistently gave yourself the upper hand with the most up to date information, using it to leverage the best deals and stay one step ahead of the competition. That’s how you learned about Crimson Dawn and their leader, Darth Maul.

When Maul himself had come to your base to ‘recruit’ your group for Crimson Dawn he was unprepared to be welcomed in. He was so used to fighting his way to the leaders and killing them to assume power not whatever was happening here. So, when he was brought straight to you he was honestly speechless. You were lounging at the end of a large room on an elegant black and gold chaise. You had smiled when you saw him and put down the data pad you had been reading from. Greeting him like an esteemed guest, you told him you would be more than happy to share all of your resources with him. There was only one condition. You explained you had very few employees that were skilled warriors and you could use someone of his skill set for difficult situations. Confused he had inquired how you had made it as high up as you did without fighting and you laughed, a sound he found himself enjoying greatly, before telling him there are ways of persuasion other than violence; but also that it didn’t take a warrior to poison someone. 

He was shocked to find himself agreeing to your terms and when you beckoned him towards you with a smirk and he was even more shocked to find himself complying. Perhaps he listened to you because he could see no ill will in your eyes, which you kept trained on him in a way that heated his body. Maybe it was because when he used the force to sense your intentions the only thoughts present in your mind were of bringing him and yourself pleasure. And maybe it was because everyone in the past who had wanted to dominate him had only done so for themselves, never even thinking about what he wanted. So as he found his mouth buried in between your legs and praises streaming from your mouth he expected to be shocked, angry even, but instead only found satisfaction. 

When you had learned about his past, how ruthlessly he was used then tossed aside, you tried to end your half of the deal telling him you wouldn’t use him like that and you also tried to end your extracurricular activities feeling guilty in your domination of him. He was eager to reassure you that you were nothing like his former master, that you made him feel loved and that some small part of him deeply enjoyed handing the reins to someone who he could place his trust in but that he would appreciate you submitting to him too, something you were more than happy to do. He didn’t tell you at the time but he had grown fond of you and he actually preferred going with you to these collection calls in order to protect you from any harm. 

You were currently heading to collect on a debt that a smaller syndicate boss owed you. He was a stupid man and had continually put off his repayment, you had warned him that the next time you came you would either be collecting or you would be assuming leadership of his measly organization. When you let him know of your impending arrival the slimeball, Willem Brasi, actually tried to charm his way out of his dire situation. All that his flirting had done was anger the Zabrak at your side. When you turned to him and saw how tense he was you ran a gentle hand over his arm quietly reassuring him that the sleepover would get what was coming to him.

Your heels rang out every step you took followed by the metal clink of Darth Maul following behind you. The two of you were quite a sight. He was completely shrouded in darkness, his black robe encasing his whole body and his hood pulled fully over his head casting dark shadows over his red and black face. Barely noticeable was a long delicate silver chain that led from a clasp on his large black collar and led to a ring situated on your finger over a sheer black glove. While he was fully covered your skin was on display with a black satin dress that clung to your hips and split in two on the top leaving your back and sternum bare, covering your chest loosely. Your legs appeared every step you took thanks to the large slits on either side, dark red shoes covered your feet. You wore a delicate necklace of precious crystals that held a clasp for you to attach the chain to if you chose and your lips were painted black. You wore a gold mask that covered majority of your upper face including your eyes, there were small slits permitting vision, this created a sense of regality as well as helping disguise your identity, you did love putting on a show for your lover.

When you reached Willem’s throne room you walked to the center. He hastily rose, clearly realizing the severity of the situation, before sputtering out what he thought would be a charming greeting. You said nothing, letting the room sit in silence until he and his men were shifting uncomfortably. When you spoke your voice rang clear “Do you have the credits you owe me Willem?”

He had the audacity to laugh before strutting towards you “ah love, how much was it again? I didn’t realize you would be gracing me with your beautiful presence so soon”. As he approached you could feel Darth Maul’s entire being tensing next to you. You tilted your head towards him a little, in a calming gesture, before turning your face back towards your current problem. 

A false smile quickly painted your lips “Don’t tell me you forgot Willem. You will pay me what you owe me.”

The man faltered in his pace, clearing his throat nervously. “Perhaps I can pay you in another way? I’m sure I can bring you great pleasure”. His pale hands approached your waist and Maul audibly growled. Willem falter again but the idiotic man continued, his hands nudged your gloved arms away from your body before laying his hands on your waist. He was more confident now and started to say something filthy to you before freezing as he felt cold blades press against his wrists. You had knives strapped to your thighs that you unsheathed now to press lightly against the veins of the man touching you. 

“I think you’re forgetting who is calling the shots here. I told you your options, there are only two, either you pay me or I take control of your operations. Now, remove your disgusting hands from me before I remove them for you.” As you spoke you pressed the knives in more firmly, a thin trail of blood appearing. Willem immediately backed down with a nasty sneer covering his face. 

He laughed again before backing away. “you’re a little bitch you know that. You’re outnumbered here, I think you should leave before I have my men kill you” He snarled at you and this time a genuine smile came over your lips, this was going exactly as you planned. You strolled forward, a small hand motion telling Maul to stay where he was. Shaking your head you spoke “I’ll ask you one last time to pay me, otherwise I will seize control whether you like it or not”.

He had been busy pouring himself a drink and took a heavy swig before laughing for the last time “You? Seize control? It’s just you and your-” he paused trying to think of an insult “your fucking dog against my whole organization, I think you’re the one who’s going to lose control”

Your head tilted and your right hand rose, the chain dangling from your finger gleaming in the light, “C’mere puppy”. 

Darth Maul obediently approached you and you turned to face him. Your hands slipped under his robe and met his defined stomach, slowly you trailed your hands up to the clasp that held the robe on. Undoing it deftly you then continued your path up his body cupping his face affectionately. You rubbed your thumbs against his cheekbones gently, small smiles forming on both of your faces, before you gently removed the hood letting the robe fall away from him completely. At his grand reveal quiet noise rang around the room from Willem’s men worriedly whispering as they recognized the Sith. Though Maul couldn’t see your eyes he knew they were looking up at him with pride. Your hands slid down the back of his head and to his large collar, running delicate fingers over the metal you came to the front. You gently rubbed the chain connecting the two of you before unclasping it. You backed away from him and faced Willem, who had gone paler if possible. You tilted your head before sweetly muttering “Puppy, why don’t you show them what you’re capable of?”

The telltale noise of a lightsaber igniting filled the room and you were bathed in a red glow. Pleas started spilling from your preys mouth, and his men drew their weapons in a futile attempt to protect themselves. You turned your head back to the beautiful red and black man, slowly you trailed your hand up your body, just how he would if the two of you were in private, before clipping the chain to the collar at your own neck. At this Maul sprang into action, he moved beautifully saber slicing in an intricate dance of death. Through the whole affair you simply stood there, Maul had taught you how to take care of yourself with dual knifes strapped to your thighs, you were confident with the odds that nothing would happen to you. In his defense, Willem had made a valiant effort - he realized it was no use to go after Maul and so he had turned to you blaster raised with two shaking hands. A cruel smile crossed your face as he tried to rush you. However, he was stopped by a red lightsaber cleanly swiping up severing his hands at the wrists. He screamed out in pain and fell to the floor writhing in pain. Maul kicked him towards you and the sobbing man slid violently to you. You stopped his body’s movement with a well placed heel to his chest. Tutting at him you dug your heel in harder, “You should’ve given me my fucking money. Now, I’m going to take everything you’ve built, too bad you won’t be here to see it.”

You pulled one your knives out but noticed Maul shifting next to you, glancing at him you recalled his anger at Willem earlier and gave him a small nod before backing away. Maul let out a feral snarl that sent pleasant shivers through your body before ending the Willem’s life.

You both sat in silence for a minute before Maul moved to sprawl on the large chair at the head of the room. A smirk covered his mouth and he beckoned you to him, your visits to opposing syndicates usually ended with Maul’s thorough domination of the opposition and then you. Sauntering over to him you added an extra sway to your hips causing a low growl to build in his chest. You slid in between his parted legs and his large hands grasped the back of your thighs. He slowly worked his way up your body, squeezing your waist and slipping his hands under the fabric of your dress to run his thumbs over your nipples, which elicited a gasp from you, before sliding up to your face and tearing your mask off. When your eyes finally met uninhibited after what felt like hours a moan left his mouth, he loved nothing more than being able to stare into your eyes. Your hands rose and you gently pulled off the ring that held the end of the chain placing it in Maul’s outstretched hand. He wrapped the long chain tight around his hand, giving it a test pull to ensure he could control your movement and using it to yank you hard into a passionate kiss. You moaned softly into his mouth responding passionately, your hands ran up his body to gently grab onto two of his horns. A small whimper left his mouth as you tugged on him. You broke apart and he nipped at the parts of your neck not covered by your necklace in between kisses he murmured out “what would you like, my Starlight?”

A breathy sigh fluttered out of you lips and you pulled back just enough to look into his eyes again “My lord, I want anything and everything you will give me”

Maul’s yellow eyes darkened to a rich gold at your words and he spun you around just before he pulled you down onto his lap, gently he took the time to turn your necklace around so the chain attached now ran down your back. His hands slid down your body grasping behind each knee and he roughly tore your legs open and over his mechanical legs, the slits on either side of your dress allowed for this -the silky material rippled then settled in between your thighs the only barrier preventing your exposure to anyone who may wander into the room. You let out a whimper as his hot breath hit your neck, fingers trailing up the inside of your thighs and then dancing over where you craved him most. Slowly he began to run two of his fingers over your pussy, an involuntary cry flew out of your mouth and Maul paused. His head tilted curiously as his other hand slipped under the fabric of the dress feeling around your hips for a moment before a deep chuckle reverberated through his chest, causing a pleasant vibration against your back which was firmly pressed to him. 

“Such a naught little princess, not wearing anything underneath this dress. You wanted this didn’t you?”

You nodded desperately but Maul growled lightly, the hand that was under your dress reappearing and he pulled on the chain harshly pulling you impossibly closer to him and your head tilted back. 

“Words princess” he whispered into your ear.

A small whine left your throat as you stuttered out an answer “Yes, yes I wanted you to take me here, I-I wanted to....” you trailed off as his fingers resumed stroking you over your dress, Maul loosened his grip on the chain as he prompted you to continue with a nip to your jaw and a seductive “Tell me what you wanted and I’ll give you what you need, my sweet girl”

Taking a moment to try to catch your breath as his fingers switched to swirling around your clit you moaned before continuing “I wanted everyone to know. I wanted them to know that I’m yours, only yours and that you’re mine”

At your words a deep purr vibrated against your back and his hand finally slipped under your dress, two fingers easily slipping inside with how thoroughly soaked you were and your walls fluttered around them. A feral grin covered Maul’s face and he began a slow teasing pace, his thumb ghosting over your most sensitive spot. You let out an impatient whine and attempted to buck your hips against his hand but found you couldn’t move them, you tilted your head back so you could glare at the man who had you spread open so deliciously. A coo left Maul’s mouth, though he didn’t look the least bit remorseful, and he adopted an innocent look . 

“What is it my love? Hmm, is there something you need?” His teasing words had you clenching around his fingers as you whimpered and nodded. His other hand trailed up your body to grasp at your throat tightly and you gasped softly, his thumb and pointer raising to tightly grasp your jaw. He was holding you tight enough that it caused a satisfying ache and he shook you a little before speaking again, his words sharp with faux anger “what did I say about using your words, Princess?” Before you had a chance to say anything his pace rapidly increased. A startled noise tore from your throat as his fingers moved at an inhuman pace, pausing only to add a third finger, his thumb pressed hard onto your clit. It was all so much, it verged on overstimulation and small tears filled your eyes as desperate moans and cries poured from your lips. Maul let go of your jaw to let you speak but kept a firm hold on your throat. 

“Is this what you wanted? You should thank me princess, I didn’t even make you beg for it. Though maybe I should” He growled out. Desperately praises started falling from your lips telling him how good he made you feel, how desperately you needed this, that only he could make you feel this way. As you continued Maul moved his hand from your neck to your chest, groping harshly. He rolled your nipple in between his fingers and played with you just how he knew you liked it before switching to the other side. 

As you approached your peak you continued babbling on “Please my king, I’m so close, so close. Please don’t stop, oh yes,” you cried out as his picked up his pace “thank you, thank you my lord!”

Maul’s hand came up to curl in your hair and his pace slowed slightly as he began to speak slowly “My love, Starlight, will you let me in? Please, I-I want to be one with you, I need to feel you, all of you.” 

You turned your glossy gaze to him, you knew he was hesitant about asking this of you - he had brought up using the force to meld your minds before but had never followed through before - though you were prepared to give him everything. Your own hand cupped the back of his head pulling him forward so your foreheads rested together. A blissful smile covered your mouth “Of course puppy, my mind is always open to you. Please love, I want you to feel the pleasure I’m feeling, I want you to feel when I fall apart at your touch”

Maul let out a pleased sigh and inhaled deeply, “Just relax, Princess, just let me in”

His fingers began a sensual pace, enough to keep you on the edge just on the brink of falling over into your climax. It started as a slight pressure against your head that kept growing, your mind automatically rebelling against the intrusion but with Maul’s gentle encouragement to open yourself to him you found yourself relaxing and, again with encouragement, focusing on how you were feeling. The pace of his fingers pumping into you increased until you were blinded by the pleasure and then you felt him - present in your mind, the two of you becoming one. Your foreheads stayed pressed together intimately, your hand on the back of his head rising to rub at his horns. The Zabrak behind you let out a long, slow moan now able to feel all the pleasure you were feeling, every little spark was amplified bouncing between your minds and increasing in intensity. Maul picked up the pace his fingers sinking as deep into you as possible, thumb rapidly circling your clit. You started to whine and whimper begging for release, Maul was just as desperate as you letting out deep moans and there was a content purr insistently tickling your back. His free hand came up to wrap in the hair at the back of your head, pulling hard and pulling away to nuzzle at your neck. 

“Yes, that’s it princess, you feel incredible. Why don’t you cum for me little one, let go. Let me have all of you my love” he spoke pressing kisses to your neck in between his words. His tone grew into a commanding rasp of  “Submit to me, cum for me” before biting hard at the junction of your neck and shoulder. The pain pushed you over the edge and you cried out as your climax blinded you. Maul let out a loud snarl as your pleasure washed over him white hot, his hips bucking in time with yours. 

You weren’t sure how long the two of you sat there not moving, just basking in pleasure, but you slowly came down. Gently your lover pulled his fingers from inside you, raising his hand to his mouth he sensually licked any remains of you off making sure to hold eye contact with your blissed out eyes. Maul then untangled his hand from your hair to wrap around your waist,  his other hand following shortly, holding you to him. As you pulled your head off his shoulder you tensed realizing you had an audience. A man stood at the entrance to the room, mouth gaping and eyes darting all over taken in both you and the carnage around the room. Maul looked up from where he had been nibbling at the bite mark he left and a growl harshly left his throat. The man started to back up, clearing intending on running, and with a quick nod of your head Maul’s hand rose to freeze the man in his tracks. 

You let out a content sigh pressing back into Maul’s warm chest as a smirk covered your face. 

“Is that any way to greet your new queen?” You cooed a small laugh leaving your lips at his terrified expression, “why don’t you go tell anyone you can find that there’s been a change in leadership and if anyone has a problem with that they can come take it up with us” with that you waved him off and Maul released the force hold he had on him. 

You weren’t worried, at this point your enforcers should be arriving to ensure compliance. For now you were content to sit with Maul, you adjusted to a more comfortable position (your legs were aching from being spread for so long) and pressed a soft kiss to his jawline.  A warm smile rose on your face and you couldn’t help cupping the side of Maul’s face, gently tracing his tattoos. 

“I love you puppy”

A deep chuckle reached your ears, red and black lips pressed softly to yours before he replied.

“I love you too my starlight, more than you know.”

[littlekatleaf]

The shape that I'm in now

(It's 1 am, I must be posting Roadrat snz fic. This takes place in the same 'verse as 'Buried in a burning flame' and 'My heart as spent as ashes, but takes place before them. Not that it's necessary for the story, just to orient.)

Whatever here that’s left of me Is yours just as it was ~ Hozier, As It Was

Junkrat rolled over, trying to ease the ache in his hip, but it didn’t help. Sheets scratchy on oversensitive skin. Eyes hot, dryer than the fuckin’ desert, nose running like to make up for it. Flipped the pillow, but both sides were already too warm. Everything hurt, from toenails to eyelids. Even his fucking missing limbs hurt, however the hell that worked. What sucked the most, though was the silence. It pulsed against his eardrums, buzzed in his head.

Had told Roadhog to go. No choice about it. Bones’d been aching with impending fever, head felt packed with sand. Knew what was coming and didn’t want Roadhog to see. Didn’t want to be seen. Not when felt like his skin was peeled back, leaving all of his quivering insides bare. Being sick was being vulnerable. In Junkertown being vulnerable meant you was good as dead.

Felt Roadhog watching him from the first handful of sneezes. “Nobody fuckin’ cleans this shithole,” Junkrat had grumbled, trying to play it off. Roadhog said nothing.

Didn’t say a word when Junkrat blamed the spices in the stir fry for the second fit.

Unfortunately the third handful of sneezes seemed to have blown all thoughts from his brain and he was still trying to recover when Roadhog asked, “All right, Rat?”

“‘M fine. If you want to get in my pants just say so.” Might have intended it to sound flirty but it came off pissy.

Roadhog crossed his arms over his chest. “Ain’t like that. You just look…” “Ain’t neither of us winning a beauty pageant, Hog. Mind your business.” Least that time sounded like maybe he could be joking, even with the edge in his voice.

Tried to bite the sneezes back after that. Pinch them off. Smother them in his sleeve. But every single time he felt Roadhog’s eyes on him, watching. Made the hairs raise at his nape and finally he snapped, shouting at Roadhog to get the fuck out and leave him alone.

Roadie had, and he was fine with it. Just perfectly fuckin’ apples, mate. Went to bed, tried to sleep it off. But couldn’t. Now he tossed back the sheets, pushed himself up, buckled on his prosthetics. Make himself tea. Caffeine might dull the headache. Heat’d feel good on his throat.

You wanted to be by yourself... teasing whisper of her voice through the buzzing. You told him to go. You should be happy - here all alone with your disease. Could practically feel her breath at his ear and he swayed for a minute, dizzy. He doesn’t want to be anywhere near you.

“Shows what you know. Roadhog likes it when I sneeze.” Hated how defensive it sounded. Proof that he was only good for one thing.

Perhaps, but this is beyond even his depravity. Look at yourself, Jamison.

Without really meaning to, his gaze flicked over to the mirror that hung above the washbasin, then away again. Not before he’d seen himself though - scarecrow hair, singed in more places than he’d realized, skin and bones, dark circles around his eyes, nose red, lips cracked from breathing through his mouth. Expression going blank as the need to sneeze came over him. “Huh-R’iiishh! Isshew! R’iishew!” Managed to catch them in a tissue at the last minute, but it was a close thing.

Disgusting. And weak. I absolutely cannot fathom why he has not left you behind yet. Ill so often. Missing half your limbs. In need of protection. What kind of man are you?

“Shut it,” he said. Much as hated to admit it, she was right. Knew full well all the ways he was lacking. Rubbed his dripping nose on a handful of tissues.

Perhaps he just enjoys toying with you. Drawing things out before he takes your treasure and returns to the Queen. Her tone is a purr. A predator does love to tease its prey.

“Roadhog ain’t the Queen’s. Not anymore.”

No? He told you that, did he?

“Yes.” Sort of. What had Roadhog said when they met? Freelance? What did that mean? He wouldn’t… would he? If he got pissed off enough? If Junkrat was enough of a pain in the ass? A sudden chill whipped through him and he shivered. Grabbed a windcheater off the hook on the back of the door and yanked it over his head. Roadie’s, he realized as the soft cotton engulfed him. At least he was warm. Tugged the hood up over his head. Maybe that would block out her voice.

Pathetic… The whisper echoed in his ears, then faded - taking his energy with it. Giving up on the tea plan he curled up in a corner of the couch. Pulled in his knees, tugged the windcheater down over him and tried to disappear. Just needed to get smaller. Smaller.

A sneeze jag shook him awake. Took him a second to catch his breath and open his eyes. There was Roadie, holding out a tissue. Didn’t want to take it, but the alternative was worse. And messier. “Thanks,” he said, stuffiness blurring the consonants. Blowing his nose helped, but only a little.

Roadhog didn’t say anything, just turned on his heel and disappeared into the kitchen. Kettle rattled, water hit the basin. Click snap of the flame catching on the stove. Clink of spoon against mug.

Apologize, Jamison. Unless you want to test his patience even further.

Don’t need your input, he said, but only in his head. Always weirded Roadhog out when he answered aloud. Cleared his throat, attempted to pitch his voice loud enough to carry, even though felt like he’d been swallowing sandpaper in his sleep. “Oi, Roadie?”

Nothing. Sighing to himself, Junkrat untangled his limbs, ignoring the shivering. Maybe Roadhog wouldn’t notice. Managed to reach the kitchen this time. Roadhog’s back was turned, head slightly bent over whatever he was doing.

Rat hesitated in the doorway. While his mouth usually moved faster than his brain, at the moment neither seemed to be online. He leaned against the jamb, waiting for inspiration to strike. Instead he sneezed, catching them in his sleeve, then coughing after. “Ugh, fuck. I’ll wash this I swear.”

“...” The skepticism was clear even without words.

“Ain’t gonna forget this time.”

“...”

Junkrat coughed a laugh. “Yeah, you’re right I probably will.” Rubbed the back of his neck where it ached. “Roadie, I’m…” sorry he was going to say but Roadhog turned, offering a steaming mug.

“I know. Drink.”

Couldn’t smell anything through his clogged nose so he sipped warily. Then sighed, relief and gratitude. “Where the hell’d you find Lemsip?”

“Bobby had some.”

“An’ he just gave it to you?” Meds were hard to come by, even stupid shit like cold medicine.

Roadhog shrugged. “He owed me somewhat.”

The steam made his nose run and tickle and he sniffled a little. Which only served to trigger another round of sneezes and he slopped hot liquid over his hand. “Ow, god fucking dammit.”

“Here, let me…” Roadhog reached for his hand, but he stepped back.

“No, it’s fine.”

“Rat. I said let me.”

The darkness of his tone sent a shiver down Rat’s spine. The command in it was as unmistakable as the warmth. Junkrat stopped, pinned, barely breathing. Roadhog wiped his hand, carefully, like the burn could have been serious. Then he laid a palm over Rat’s forehead, fingers pleasantly cool. Junkrat leaned into the touch.

“Really got a fever, don’t you.”

It wasn’t a question, exactly but Junkrat nodded anyway. “Feelin’ shit, to be honest.” A hot flush chased the chills. Had to tell Roadie the truth, but didn’t make it any easier.

“You hurting?”

Rat shrugged, nodded again.

“Come on,” Roadhog put an arm around him, led him back into the bedroom. “Lie down.”

“Ain’t tired,” he tried. Not quite enough energy to be a proper brat.

“Not planning on sleep. Lie down.”

Junkrat did as he was told, but closed his eyes as the bed dipped and Roadhog sat down beside him. With gentle fingers he disconnected Junkrat’s prosthetics and set them aside. Even though he’d only been wearing them a short time, they’d already rubbed sore spots on his skin. Roadhog knew to avoid those places as he began to massage the muscles in Rat’s forearm, kneading until the knots loosened, then moved on to Rat’s thigh.

As the tension drained away, Rat sighed so deep was almost a groan. “God, that’s good.” Roadhog let go of him, but didn’t move away. There was the soft sound of a jar being opened and a teasing scent of menthol that Rat could smell even through the congestion. Vicks, of course. “For the cough,” he asked, smirking.

“It’ll help,” Roadhog said, but this time Rat knew it was a question. Making sure he was okay with it.

“It will,” Rat agreed. Put him back on easier footing. Hog gave him a little care, he’d get Hog off. Fair and square.

Roadie slid his hands up under the windcheater and goosebumps rose in the wake of his touch. Junkrat’s back arched, “Oh,” he breathed. “It’s so… Itchew! Huh-Itchh! Itchhuh!” Luckily he’d pulled the sleeves over his hand because he covered just with his hand before realizing.

“Bless you,” Roadhog said, without pausing from the massage.

“Th...thank y-Ihchuuh! Ah’tchh! Chh!” The sensations together were almost overwhelming. Felt like he was tingling along every nerve, shivering with both chills and desire, surprised to find himself going hard, even as he kept sneezing.

“You blushing, or is that the fever?” Roadhog’s voice a rumble in his ear and even that made a shudder run through him.

“Both,” he sighed. Nothing he could do about it, body betraying him with every sneeze.

Roadie chuckles. “You do that so well.”

“Wh… Huhitch!... Itch! Ishhew! … what?"

“Lose control.” An answer but also a command as he tugged Rat’s boxers down and slid inside, surprisingly gently.

“Oh…” Words gone. Thoughts gone. Only feeling left. Heat, fever, want, like fire in his blood. Waves of trembling over him. Hog deep inside, moving with a gentle but implacable rhythm, driving him higher, stoking the flames. He clenched his mech hand in the sheets, clung to Hog with his flesh hand, fingers tightening convulsively. And as the flames built so, too, did the need to sneeze. Little panting breath, interrupted by sniffles and teasing hitches.

“Lose it, Rat,” Roadhog said.

“Ah’Rrrishhah! Ushhew! Isshah!” The flames engulfed him, he shook with release. For a long, long moment he could only blink blearily at the ceiling, utterly spent. “Holy shit,” he managed, finally.

At some point Roadie’d gotten a cool washcloth and he wiped it carefully over Rat, washing away sweat and the vaporub. Just when the cold was about to set him shivering, Roadhog pulled a blanket over him, then leaned down and kissed his forehead. “You did good, Rat.”

A burst of warmth flowered in his chest and tears sprang up. Rat blinked them back, scrubbed his face with his hand. “‘M a fucking mess,” he said.

“...”

“I mean, sure we have fun. But look at me.” Waved a hand over himself. “Missing a piece or two. Fuckin’ sick all the time. Maybe we should just… go our own ways.”

“...”

“Got enough of a haul to make up for the fight in the bar. Enough to make this bodyguard gig thing worthwhile. We should maybe quit while we’re ahead.” Before you get tired of me, he didn’t say, but it was there on his tongue.

“Rat.” Clink of buckles as Roadhog took off his mask.

Junkrat resisted the urge to look at him. Didn’t want to read the truth of his feelings in his eyes.

“Look at me.”

He does, for a second, then away again.

“You see the scars. All of them. You think they make me ugly?”

“No!” Surprise had him actually meeting Roadhog’s gaze. Caught, he couldn't look away. “Just part of who ya are.” He reached up and traced one from the corner of Roadie’s eye, curving down and along his jaw. No, the scars had surprised him at first, but never bothered him.

“Need the hogdrogen. The mask. So I’m weak?”

“Course not.” First person to mistake Hog for weak wouldn’t live to regret it.

“This place tried to kill us. In so many ways. But it fucking hasn’t. Don’t let it win, Jamie. Don’t let it.”

Junkrat swallowed hard. Nobody called him that, not for years and years. “I won’t,” he said.

Roadhog lay next to him and Junkrat curled into him. Roadhog pulled him closer, carded his fingers through Rat’s hair. “Sleep, Jamie.”

I’m yours, he thought as he drifted away. Whatever’s left of me.

[border-spam]

Leech Lord AU

Tyreen Calypso / Tyreen DeLeon / God Queen Calypso / Holy Mother Tyreen (differences from canon)

List of character traits and  world-building facets for this character within my AU that differ from / are of more importance than in canon. 

One of these coming for Seifa shortly. Same AU as all other twins content I’ve written. TW: drug use.

Troy’s is HERE

Traits: ✓ Positive x Negative:

✓x Confidence is not a façade.

Unlike her twin, Tyreen's self confidence is rock solid to an unquestionable level. Her God Queen persona is not an act, it's her natural disposition ramped into overdrive.

✓ Highly Empathic.

Ty is very emotionally charged as a person, and is notably in-tune in general to the energies of people she is in proximity with. She has always used this to her advantage, capable of reading a room very cleanly and modifying her behavior and approach to play on the emotional state of others.

✓ Excellent Actor.

Her enjoyment of positive attention since childhood nurtured her into a very convincing natural performer. She can switch her emotion worryingly easily from sorrow to mirth, and it can be difficult to tell at times which is the actual genuine state she is feeling.

✓ Extremely Adaptable.

Tyreen is almost impossible to deter as she automatically approaches any situation with complete belief she will overcome it. She is not easily stopped by plans going awry or not panning out, and rarely breaks momentum. Ty is so naturally assured of achieving whatever goal she is aiming for, that she see's barriers others would see as impassable, as mere setbacks.

✓ Highly Charismatic.

Her ability to draw the billions of worshippers that now compose the COV is no fluke. Between her natural charisma and intuition, and the excellently researched scripts and persona Troy writes for her, Tyreen is extremely magnetic to others.

✓ Natural  Leader.

Her rock solid self confidence and personal strength makes Tyreen highly attractive to those looking for guidance and a personality they can lean on. Her royalty is unquestionable, she was born to be a God Queen, and is very, very aware of it.

x Incapable of admitting fault.

Ty's extreme self confidence and regard for her own opinion means she cannot face failure. She will aggressively, to at times a physically violent level, defend her actions and beliefs regardless of whatever evidence is presented to her that shows she is incorrect or made a mistake.

x Easily loses control of herself in high pressure situations.

Her highly emotionally charged and empathic personality can leave her unable to control her reactions when under stress or pressure. While Troy's response to conflict or risk is to become exceptionally calm and dangerously in control, his twin's is the opposite. Tyreen can easily descend into screeching, violent tantrums, or lash out physically and verbally at people she sees as the source of the emotion she is currently experiencing, regardless of if they are at fault. She is often a danger to herself and others, and cannot be trusted to stay in control when stressed.

x Self centered.

Tyreen's galaxy revolves around Tyreen. Tyreen is Tyreen's universe. She's aware that there are people she should value, she should value Troy, she should value Seifa, she should value the other Saints like Mouthpiece, but she does not feel that value. This can lead to her questioning herself at times, there is concern eating her internally that maybe she actually doesn't feel anything for anyone else, but she knows that's wrong. She knows that's weird, and Tyreen isn't a freak, so she avoids dwelling on it.

x Manipulative.

Tyreen learned at an early age that getting what she wanted was easier if she played on what the other person wanted too. She's woven this so tightly into who she is over time, that she is no longer really aware of when she's actually manipulating someone, Troy being the most common victim. If you asked her, she'd convince you she was being completely genuine and had the other person's needs at heart. It's a lie.

x Illogical.

Her firm belief that she is automatically correct and infallible is a huge threat to her, and despite having endured injury and hardships over the years due to not listening to advice or ignoring facts in favor of her own opinion, she is not open to changing.

x Greedy.

While The Leech has amplified this negative trait 100 fold, it's still one of Tyreen's natural characteristics. Her greed by mid COV is insatiable, her hunger impossible to extinguish. Nothing will ever be enough. Any satisfaction she finally feels at achieving or gaining something she has lusted for is short lived, The Leech consuming the sensation and leaving her chasing it desperately again. She is endlessly spiraling downwards, she can never be content. She is cursed.

x Values her life over anyone else.

Tyreen has built her throne on the bones of family. She has opened her arms to billions, given lost souls the belonging they craved, become a mother to the heaving masses of damaged minds across the Galaxy, but it does not contain a single person she would die for. There is no one she wouldn't kill to survive. Leda knew. Typhon knows. Troy... Troy would snap your neck before you managed to finish asking if he does.

Backstory:

Bl3 canonical backstory till landing on Pandora where the AU begins, with additional points of:

Completely incapable of physical contact with any living organism bar Troy. Her power is wildly uncontrollable, and absorbs through any barrier within seconds. Its been this ravenous since the day it first revealed itself when the twins were 8 years old, and has never given her a moment of relief from its constant hunger since.

Did not receive as much attention as she deserved as a young child due to her parents needing to provide constant care to her deathly ill twin. Tyreen suffered in silence for a long time during this period, too immature to be able to explain to her mother and father how she felt.

The Leech negatively warps her over time as it feeds within. Tyreen would have blossomed into an extroverted, empathic, loudly spoken center of attention without its influence as she grew. A positive, if slightly needy woman, with an irresistible charisma and penchant for theatrics. Her feelings for Troy would not have decayed into something so grotesque, and she could have been happy. Her insatiable, yearning, demanding half of The Leech has doomed her to inescapable misery.

Personal:

Likes:

Positive attention and recognition.

Care or concern towards her emotional state, or mental/physical wellbeing.

Very few foods, but has a great love for citrus fruits and cured meats.

Textured fabrics, her inability to touch others has over time left her quite sensitive to tactile sensations, and she is a huge fan of expensive, high end fabrics and clothing created from them

Smoking. While she has little appetite for food or drink, joints and clove cigarettes are her go to relaxants. She enjoys the physical sensation of holding and smoking one, as well as the mental relief provided by the herbs Troy grows and dries for her.

Horrendously bad romance movies. The more cringe, the better. She's seen everything, and forced her brother to watch at least half. She knows in a way she's living vicariously through them, but it feels like an innocent pleasure.

Interacting with her fans and worshippers. Tyreen is very loving and open towards the COV cultists, and genuinely sees them as the family she was able to choose to have. This doesn't change that she values them less than insects however, and she's as likely to pause for a selfie with one as she is to husk them seconds later.

Dislikes:

x Her natural hair colour.

The dark brown was Leda's. Her eye shape is Leda's. Her mouth is Leda's. She doesn't want to see her mother in the mirror, so she's focused on those parts of her that remind her the most for changes in her aesthetic. Bleach, heavy eye makeup, liner to try and alter her lip shape. Tyreen is happy with her appearance, but it's her appearance she wants to see. Not the memory of her greatest fault.

x Being challenged.

While Ty is aware there are people who's opinion's she needs to heed, like Troy and Seifa in the earlier years of the COV, she doesn't like following their instructions. It's a personal insult to her deepest core when she has to choose to not follow her own volition. Over time, it breeds contempt inside her that she doesn't care enough to quell. A trusted advisor will become someone to eventually mock, a valued sibling or mentor will become the enemy, a burden, someone she knows better than. Tyreen hates so easily, it's like breathing.

x Being looked down on.

Tyreen is a God. There is no question, no space for disbelief. She is a deity, she is not human, she transcends that term. Ten billion people across the galaxy praise her hallowed name nightly, so the idea of some corporate scum fucking bastard acting like he's above her in a meeting room, sitting in a suit he thinks is showing off his wealth when she could literally buy the company that made it, is an insult she cannot bare. Troy has to accompany Tyreen in any face to face interaction with a sponsor. He has to do the talking, he has to control the situation. Without her twin to maintain her calm, Tyreen would tear these people to chunks of viscera. She cannot abide mockery.

x Her Father.

While Typhon genuinely believes he did his best for the twins and was trying to protect them from the horrors of the Galaxy, he has ended up becoming the focal point of every single thing Tyreen loathes. The indignity of being controlled by this tiny, weak little man. The insult of being caged on a planet he decided to enslave her on. The shame towards the overbearing control and fear he showed her as she grew up on Nekrotafeyo. She hates him. She hates him. She hates him.

x Her Brother.

Troy took everything she could have been away from her. It's that simple. He did. There is no way to defend what happened. Regardless of her consuming him in the womb, regardless of what he wanted or not, he crippled her for life. He destroyed her Siren power, he stole her future, he tore any happiness she could ever have felt away from her, and left her with nothing but hunger, and hatred, and need. He's also the only person in the universe who knows her. He's the only person who cares for her. She despise him so much, she despises him so much that it almost feels like love.

x. Herself.

Not human. Not divine. Just a Leech. Just a fucking monster.

Physical differences to canon:

- Scarring is more noticeable:

Ty was glassed in the face in their first week on Pandora. Their first week. One of their earliest attempts to approach a bandit camp, and she'd had a broken bottle swung at her before she could even open her mouth to start Troy's rehearsed speech. It was also the first time she'd husked after landing, and was in self defense while the blood blinded her. The scars across her nose are jagged, and a little more set into her cheeks in depth.

- Left hand has long term damage:

Her hand sustained severe damage in a childhood incident. The white glove she wears is more to hide what she perceives as a weakness than to protect others from her powers. Cloth does practically nothing to prevent The Leech  consuming what she touches, a lesson she learned the hard way in the trauma that lead to her fingers being crushed.

- Troy was attached to her stomach:

Tyreen began to absorb Troy early in the pregnancy before her Siren power flowed into him when they had merged enough for it to consider them the same being. He was attached shoulder to her sternum, and was born with her wrapped around his smaller body. Separating them did no long term damage to Tyreen, unlike her twin, but she has a massive puckered scar running from below her sternum to her navel. This is very cool if you ask her, and the sole reason she doesn't display it is to keep their origins secretive, not due to any form of shame.

Asks are open! Any regarding AU will prob get priority for now as I work to flesh it as we go

[annqbthchse]

🍓 👉👈🥺

Hello Cecília! when I got this notif I was surprised that YOU wanted a compliment from ME???? wHY??? have you met you???? but sure ok, I am very happy to oblige so you better get READY for what I have to say

OK so, the first post I saw from you this year was your SGE x HSM au, as someone who went through a HSM phase and had Zac Efron their first-ever celebrity crush,,, it. was very close to my heart. THEN you go and start to post a fac fic for it???? THEN YOU HVAE THE AUDACITY TO MAKE IT A FUCKING SHOWSTOPPER???? it's very rude and I will never forgive you for making my 14yrld dreams come true. that chapter when Agatha meets tedros at the party and he immediately simps. that was me reading it. automatic simp. idk how I’ll ever repay you for that. I probably never will but you know what?? ill spend my entire life trying to if I have to. IYNTB was the first-ever actual fic I ever read from you and that was years ago and yea it's a fandom CLASSIC I TELL YA and when YOU REWROTE IT earlier this year? I was so woefully unprepared to be able to see it. to be able to be blessed AGAIN. pls no that even when I first read it so many years ago, it never left my mind which is why I was so stunned when you rewrote it and it was BETTER? no that's not allowed here ma’am

your Nicola and hunter post??? YEA THAT'S SOME TOP NOTCH, A+ LEVEL THINKING I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW DETAILED IT WAS AND YEA HUNTER RIGHTS MF. if anyone ever dares says another bad word about nicola i’ll just point them in that posts direction because it says EVERYTHING. you basically wrote a rewrite of TCY and as expected it was everything. and the PJO, again, the amount of effort, time and thought you put into it is something I can genuinely only dream about doing. and that tagatha dating simulator au, it was basically like a mini fic and I genuinely don't know how you thought of it. I've said this before but your dreams HAVE to premonitions from god. that's the only answer. basically, your brain is spectacular and every time you say anything you are correct and we stan. the amount of small intricate details you put into your works is SHJDRGH every time I'm about to lose my mind because of how genius it is. The way you can write something such as first and always and then CMG. the smut to fluff switch, WOW only very talented people can do that.  yea, when I die, don't even put my name or birthdate on my gravestone, I just want that fic there, every single chapter, every single word just perfectly engraved right there. please. the way you interpreted the prompts and how they’re all linked and there's a timeline. SHDBHDJSG  does your brain ever hurt from how big it is???. every time you post a chapter, I go through all the chapters again but in order of the dates because it just makes it all that much better and AHSDG I just love it ok. First and always was written SO WELL!!! it was smut but yea it was cute and sweet and ty for being the only one brave enough to finally do it. we’re all just cowards livin' in your pioneering shadow. 

AND YOUR DRAWINGS. every time you post one I'm in AWE, they look so professional and it's very unfair that you can write as well as you do AND draw. we call that fucking talent in these neck of the woods sir. and you design buildings for college while doing all this??? How?  in my first week last semester my only assignment that week was make a meme and I struggled to get anything else done that week (I DIDNT EVEN fucking make the meme - my brother just sent me one) 

now I'm done simping over your content, let me simp over you :D you have this very sophisticated, witty type of humour and let me tell you,,, it's fucking great. every time I see a comment of yours on whatever post it may be, the compliment is always so creative and just f u n n y ok. you’re just so cool. when I'm 19 I hope I can be as cool as you (probably won’t happen tho it'll take too much time). but you also seem so sweet, supportive and kind. you just seem so confident and you’re also so pretty!!  and I have to apologise for being so awkward and you having to deal with it. but you're a queen. Honestly. every time you come up in my notifs its like getting the seal of approval from God and it just feels so good so ty for that! I also get very surprised because,,, WHY???? 

basically, I want your mind and your talent pls and stop being such a nice person, its too much Cecília

Have a great day and I'm sorry this took so long! <3.

[rosierocks30]

Hidden: Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Always and Forever 

(Eve)

Eve or Natasha was staring at the amber liquid drink in her mug. She had been into deep sorrow of heartbreak. Ever since he left, she hasn’t left the room. Today, it was my first time being out of the room since that day. Natasha couldn’t tell what day it was. To her, it felt like years had passed by. Maybe this was for the best. They both are generations apart. She’s from the future and Eren is from here. What business does she have here anyways? The grey eyed woman should focus on trying to get back her timeline before encountering her grandmother or grandfather. Shit, if grandpa Levi finds out, she’ll get a beating in their spars. 

Eve took a sipped from her mug. She sighed then pulled out some change to pay the ale. The Ackerman from the future couldn’t enjoy her beer. Once she paid, the woman started to walk away to who knows where. 

Her life before ending up in the past was basically what the life of an New Yorker heiress was. There were parties, going to the best prestigious private schools, and of course any high class social events. It was every debutante’s dream. She never liked it but it was her medicine in dealing with her ill grandmother and her PTSD. 

Natasha remembered that tragic day when she lost her mother and baby brother. Her father had died a year before their death. He was an assassin like their ancestors were before. When she was a little girl, Eve had wanted to follow her father’s footsteps including her grandfather’s, but they never allowed. It had frustrated her. Both her grandparents had told her to just be a normal girl with careless dreams and living life to the fullest. Whenever she had visited Paradis during her vacations, there were many arguments between her and grandpa Levi and grandma Historia. They see things way differently than her. At first, she doesn’t get why they are preventing her from choosing the path she wanted to take. 

The last time she saw them, a huge fight had led their relationship delicately. 

(Flashback) 

It was a normal evening in the palace. She was spending time with her grandparents and her aunts and uncle along with her younger cousins. Everyone was enjoying their meal. Usually the kitchen staff cooked their meals, but tonight her grandmother Queen Historia decided to cook. At one time, the staff gave up in preventing her grandmother from doing anything, especially cooking. 

“Natasha, I’m so happy that you decided to make time to visit us from your studies at the University.” Her grandmother, Historia began to speak. 

The young woman glanced up at her grandmother. Queen Historia was in her late 50’s about to reach her 60’s soon. Her grandma still has her angelic beauty that she was known for as her age hasn’t ruined her beauty. Her blonde hair shined with some silver strands but she was still a goddess, well in the eye’s of the public. 

“Well, I need to be away from the city life in NYC for a while.” The American sipped her wine. She heard a familiar scoff from the head of the table on the right. Her grandfather, the once famous Captain Levi Ackerman of the Survey Corps and Assassin Master of the Brotherhood Paradis stared at her. Natasha frowned then set her glass of wine with a bit of force. 

“Ok, what now, grandpa?” Her tone sounded annoyed from her own grandfather’s attitude. 

“I’m not stupid for the real reason you decide to come to visit all of the sudden.” Levi glared at her oldest granddaughter. Oh great, here we go again. The college student rolled her eyes at him since she knows where this is going. 

“Praise tell oh dear grandfather.” Her sarcastic tone was showing. Now, the rest of the family groaned as they knew there would be a fight between Levi and Natasha. 

Historia sighed but continued sipping her wine. Levi was now in his 70s. His face had aged well even though he had scars on his face during the war.His once raven hair was now grey. No matter how he looked, Historia had and always will love her husband. They both had gone through so much that their bond was too solid to be broken. There were times in their marriage, both older couples did unthinkable things that would have caused their relationship to end. But their love story will be known for centuries.

“You came here not because of your studies. Instead, you’re here from another scandal you decided to get away from. You can lie to us, but your grandmother and I know what happened in New York.” Levi said in a stern tone which the atmosphere became heavy. 

Before Natasha could say anything, her uncle interrupted the conversation. 

“Dad, I don’t think it’s the best time right now. The children are here.” her uncle reminded Levi that the younger kids are here listening to this argument. Natasha adores her uncle since he was the most understanding out of his siblings. Her aunts are a bit too modesty. They always reminded her to be ladylike with modest manners. Do her wrong she loved all her family, but they always find something that’s not up to their standards. It just drives her so insane. The only reason she is still visiting them because they are the only thing close to her father, Atticus Ackerman the eldest child of her grandparents.

It’s not her fault that she was raised in a society that you can express freely to be who you are. But in her case, she can be a bit too wild even her grandma Virginia Stark nee Potts aka Pepper, the CEO of Stark Industries. In a way, her nana had once told her she was just like her grandfather, the late Tony Stark who she had never got to meet. What she learned about him. He was wild, eccentric, very intelligent that he had the tendencies of hacking into governments top projects to benefit his cases when he gets into trouble or just cause. After all, her being a smart mouth had always ended up into an argument with Levi as he’s the type not taking anyone’s bullshit even hers. 

“Tch. We’ll have to cut this family dinner short. Natasha, you will meet me and your grandmother in my office in 10 minutes.” He said as his chair was pushed back to get up. He glanced at his wife who nodded at him and got up too. They walked out of the dining room. Now only her uncle, aunts, cousins were still here. 

“Tsk tsk niece. If you would have acted a lady not a hussy-” Aunt Frieda Ackerman said. Uncle Erwin hissed at his older sister. “Frieda that’s enough! What’s got into?” 

Frieda scoffed then got up and called her son who’s 10 years old to follow her. The little blonde child obediently goes after his mother. Meanwhile Natasha was looking at her meal from trying not to lose control and snapped at her auntie. Her other aunt had been too quiet. The good thing, she’s not too bad compared to her Aunt Frieda. Aunt Krista finally broke her silence. 

“Sweetheart, she doesn’t mean that. She’s just worried about you.” Her blonde aunt was always the peacekeeper in the family. Her hand was on her huge belly as she’s not that long to be due. Her husband, Aaron Arlert, one of brightest soldiers in his generation and the son of the late Commander Armin Arlert of the Survey Corps and Master Assassin; his wife former Marley’s Warrior and Assassin Master who died long ago too. Both of them had passed on due to the Titan’s curse. Her auntie is excited for her first child. 

“Are you sure? She seems so convinced I’m ruining our family’s reputation again. She needs to stop being so bitter around everyone just because of her marriage problems.” Natasha mumbled. Both her uncle and aunt gave a disappointing look as it was uncalled for her to bring up Frieda’s marriage issue with some high class dickhead who happens to be a Marleyan. Natasha believes her estranged uncle is only using her aunt because she’s a princess, the next heir to the throne. By law, it was supposed to be Natasha as she’s the only surviving child of the late crowned Prince Atticus. Since the government officials had passed a law to prevent her from taking the throne after her grandmother either abdicated  the throne or passed away. 

To be honest, she doesn’t want the throne. If she chooses between the throne or being the next CEO of Stark Industries then she’ll prefer being the next CEO. If there was a third choice it’s neither. The Eldian-American wanted to find her own path. She doesn’t like her future being planned for her. She’s a free-spirited woman, but to certain relatives apparently she’s a rebel brat. 

“Natasha.” He scolded at his niece. Natasha sighed and got up from her chair. “Goodnight by the way if I don’t get to see you for the rest of the night.” Before leaving she goes to hug her twin cousins from her uncle who are around 7 years old. Both boys hugged her back and said goodnight as she finally walked out of the family dinning room. 

The brunette walked through silent hallways which in her opinion it gave her the creeps sometimes. Some halls have guards on duty. The heiress just ignores them since her grandparents are probably waiting for her to scold. Ugh! She’s passed 18 and yet; they treat her like some misbehaving kid. Whatever had happened on the video was not what it seems. The media loves to fuck her over since she’s a royal and a Stark. They enjoyed milking out every ‘scandal’ she has been in.

The grey eyed heiress made it to the doors of grandpa’s office. The old man had been retired for a long time after the war. Seriously, why can he find some hobby instead of getting up on her case. She grabbed the handles to open the doors. Her grandparents are already sitting down while sipping their cup of tea. 

“Tch. Finally, you were taking your time to get here.” Levi said as he set his cup of tea on the coffee table. 

She rolled her eyes at his comment then went to sit on the couch to glance at both older couples. Her eyes landed on the already cold cup of tea for her to drink. The heiress doesn’t mind since it’s basically drinking iced tea without sweetening or added flavor. She waited for them to speak while sipping the cup. 

Historia took a glimpse at Levi then back to her granddaughter. “Sweetheart, we’re worried for you. This is not just any light scandal you have been in. This scandal involved you and some man being taped while having sex. Of all the things, this I can’t tolerate anymore of your wild party life. You forget you’re a royal and a member of the Ackerman clan.” 

The younger Ackerman wanted to scream from the frustration she felt. That tape was not how they think it happened. She didn’t know the guy was filming her. It's a crime for what that asshole did, but of course they don’t understand. Her grandparents are from different generations with different perspectives than hers. 

Don’t they understand how this made her feel? On that morning, she was watching tv at her apartment eating cereal when the headlines started to show. She felt sick and betrayed. How could he do this to her? The guy, Darren, is nice and charming. She thought he was different. Nope, her taste in men is like a pattern of bad karma. Natasha had texted him but didn’t respond. When she decided to go to his place, he was busy entertaining some friends. Oh the rage in her came out. She made everyone leave and once it was just her and him; there were arguments and some plates thrown at him. Low key she could have given an old Ackerman ass kicking, but that would lead to getting arrested.

After the drama, she didn’t come out of her apartment due to paparazzi and noisy people. Her poor grandmother was expecting her to visit. It was too much to the point her PTSD returned. Her psychiatrist suggested she go to the safest place for her. So she packed up to spend some time with her paternal grandparents and prayed they would listen and understand her what she was going through. Sadly, none of those didn’t happen. Her other grandmother doesn’t know yet. She made sure it keeps it that way. The heiress doesn’t want her nana to get distress since her cancer has returned and is becoming worse. Now, all she hears was their rants as she zoned out from all these events had happened. 

“Natasha? Natasha? Are you even listening?” Historia tried to get her granddaughter’s attention. 

“Oi, brat. Answer your grandmother.” He used his infamous authoritative tone. The college girl snapped and glanced at both of them. 

“You know, only Uncle Erwin had asked me how I was feeling. He listened to what really happened and didn’t judge me. Both of you, had not once asked me how I am feeling since the scandal was broken. I was hoping my family would be a bit understanding and listen to me because I would never sink myself to that. All I got here was I should be ashamed of myself or take responsibility. And guess what, I had been feeling ashamed and disgusted because the whole world saw me exposed and it was without my consent. If this conservation will lead to more scolding and family’s reputation then I’m done here.” She gets up to roughly palace the cup on the saucer then walks to the doors to open. The heiress slammed the doors. 

Fuck everything here. If she can go somewhere to be safe and herself, then it will help her not to lose insanity. Natasha didn’t feel her tears were falling. The heiress kept going until she was outside in the royal private garden. The distressed girl sat on the bench to let the tears become sobs. 

“Mom...Dad..if you were still alive, would you believe me? Would you understand me when I need it the most? I’m just tired of everything. I missed you both…” The brown haired woman whispered as her eyes stared up at the stars. 

Natasha loved to be in the garden whenever she’s alone. It’s helped her clear her thoughts and calm her emotions. Right, in front of her a mini section of lavenders. It was her 16th birthday present. Its scent was soothing and relaxing. They’re one of her favorite flowers along marigold and winter roses. While enjoying the stars and the flowers, her phone rang. She pulled out from her pocket jeans and answered. 

“Hey Stella, what’s wrong?” her tone instantly changed to concerning. 

On the phone a woman who’s one of her friends and coworkers for S.H.I.E.L.D. “Hey Natasha, I know you’re on vacation but you need to come back. The Time machine had not been working.” Stella said on the phone. 

“Have you tried rebooting or shutting down the machine?” Natasha said, trying to figure out the solution. 

“Yes, I did it a few times. Also, I add fuel before doing anything. I need it to have it running by tomorrow.” Stella said with anxiousness. 

“Just send me the data on my phone and I’ll check it out what’s the problem. If it’s something too serious, I’ll fly back to the Headquarters to fix it.” Already, browsing her phone to check the data that was being sent to her. 

On her mother’s side, she got the brains, but on her father’s side the physique of a fighter. Growing up without alive parents had made her determined to learn to be prepared to protect herself and any loved ones that matter to her. The heiress had joined S.H.I.E.L.D around after high school. At first, she was stubborn to be part of the next generation of the Avengers until Director Maria Hill gave her old videos of her late grandfather, Tony Stark aka Ironman. 

Beside being named after one of the original members, Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow, also gave her another reason to join. Both of them had made sacrifices to save the planet and the population. The least she could do was to honor them and not to let their death be in vain. 

After searching up to find any problem that was causing the machine not working, Natasha sighed and called back Stella. 

“Hey Stella, it’s a bigger problem than we thought. I’ll catch a flight asap. I’ll see you later then.” Once the call was over, the woman got up to go back to the palace to pack up to leave 

By the time she got to her room packing up, a knock was heard. “Come in.” She said. 

Historia opened the door to enter then closed it. “Natasha...we owed you an apology.” The queen noticed her granddaughter packing up her things. 

“Are you planning to go back home already?” She was concerned. 

“Yeah, there’s an emergency that needs me.” the heiress sounded vague.

“Oh dear, is Pepper getting worse?” Historia frowned from being worried for the older woman.  

“No and thank god it’s not that emergency. I just need to go.” The truth was only nana knew about Natasha being part of the Avengers. If her Eldian grandparents were aware, they would become overprotective and prevent her from joining. It’s best this remains a secret plus she’s a grown woman who can make decisions. 

“Honey, if your leaving became the argument earlier, we are sorry. Please don’t leave. We’ll hear your side of the story in the morning.” The blonde queen pleaded with her only granddaughter to stay. Historia had missed her. They may have differences, but her love for her is big as the rest of the family. Her fear was seeing her granddaughter going into a dark path. 

Natasha sighed as she finished packing. “It’s not a fight, grandma.” 

“Then what is it?” She said as trying to understand Natasha. She has become very mysterious and distant towards everyone except her only remaining son and her youngest daughter, Kuchel who is taking an internship in Hizuru for political foreign affairs as her major. To the rest, Natasha shuts them out. 

“It’s just work. A colleague of mine called me and said that they found some documents but it’s in some ancient language they haven't seen.” The heiress said. 

“Can they send it to you through your phone or laptop?” Historia said. 

“No, they are old and ancient so they’re fragile. I will have to look at them closer and decode into English.” The young woman hated lying to her grandmother. If she told her the truth, more drama would erupt and right now; the young Ackerman wasn’t in the mood for another drama. 

Of course, Historia felt her granddaughter was not being honest to her, but she will let it slide. Maybe after she comes back, they will talk about it. 

“Alright then. Do you need the driver to take you to the airport?” Historia offered her help. 

“Yeah that would be appreciative. Thank you, grandma.” The dark haired woman said. 

After she left the palace, Natasha arrived at the International airport. The heiress got through security measurements until she finally entered her terminal where the plane awaits for passengers. She goes find her seat number. As Natasha Ackerman took her seat, a man who was already seated by the window had taken a glance at her. The heiress was minding her own business until she saw the man staring at her. 

“May I help you?” She said annoyingly. If this is some under covered paparazzi, she’ll throw him out of the window. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare at you.” He went back to reading his book.

The brunette also went back to reading but she took another quick glance at the man which by the way, he was hot. He probably has long hair since it was tied into a bun only a few strands of hair sticks out from the forehead. The one thing that caught her attention was his emerald green eyes. 

For hours the flight was boring. Not once has that hot guy haven’t started a conversation. She probably made a bad impression. She made a yawning sound since dawn is about to rise soon. The heiress can take a couple hours nap before the plane arrives at her destination. Her eyes slowly closed as she fell asleep. While in a deep sleep, her head slowly leans to lay on the hot stranger’s shoulder. A light deep chuckle was heard along a few words. 

“Always and forever, Eve.” Natasha doesn’t know whether it was a dream or not. The way it sounds had made her feel safe and sound. It was the best two hour nap she ever had. When she woke up, almost everyone was gone including the hot guy. She was about to get up, but the woman saw a winter rose on her lap. The heiress picked it up and smelled the rose. This strange man was mysterious and smooth. Whoever was this guy, he made her day. 

(End flashback)

Eve had looked back from the events that lead to now. The time machine that she helped to make it work had glitched which sent her to this era. Luckily, it was in Paradis, but it was the time where this side of the world was going through a huge change that caused a huge war. She remembered World History about Eldian history along with those affected. What’s worse is that she encountered and fell in love with one of the notorious historical figures, Eren Jaeger. The brunette let out a frustrating scream then kicked the poor little rock on the ground. 

“Damn you, Eren. Why did you have to walk into my life?” She sighed. How long had she been here? Weeks? Months? It felt like years and Eve just missed home where she can cuddle up in her bed while eating coffee flavor ice cream with oreos while watching some cheesy romantic movies on Netflix. 

She saw a group of people with green caped hoods. The Ackerman from the future quickly hides within the trees. The heir decided to climb up to hide better. As she was about to grab the branch close to her reach, it snapped which she fell from the tree. Eve closed her eyes to wait for the hard fall. Instead, she opened her eyes to see a very familiar green eyes. 

“Eve, you should be careful. These woods are dangerous. What are you doing here by the way?” Eren said while carrying her in bridal style. 

The heiress realized Eren had caught her from falling. This feels awkward and painful. His hurtful words were still fresh on her mind. She glared at him then scoffed. 

“I don’t need to explain myself to you so I would appreciate it if you would put me down.” She said with a cold tone. 

Eren wasn’t amused with her coldness towards him. After all, he did leave things on bad terms. “Did you follow me? Damn you woman. You just can’t take a hint of rejection.” 

Oh no. He did not just say that. Natasha’s pride begins to boil with rage. That asshole has some nerves.

“Excuse me? Like hell, I would follow you! Seriously, are you this much of a dick? You know what. I’m just gonna leave.” She humped, then turned around to leave. Eren stopped her by grabbing her arm. 

“Hey, wait. It’s best to come with us since you’ll get yourself lost here.” She glanced at him annoyingly. 

“I can handle myself, thanks.” She said stubbornly. 

“Eve, I’m serious. I don’t want you to be alone in the woods especially when we’re at war.” His tone had become a bit aggressive due to her stubbornness. 

“Why do you care? You left me at the inn. You made it clear that all I was someone to warm up your bed.” Tears were threatening to come out, but she was holding in. 

“I care enough for an innocent being in the crossfire when shit goes down.” Eren said. 

“How fucking noble you are?” She said sarcastically. 

Eren grunt from her attitude. Without saying much, he gripped her arm to drag her to where the Garrison and MPs soldiers were making campgrounds for the night. 

“Hey, let go! Eren, where are you taking me?” She was trying to free herself from his strong grip. 

“You ask too much.” He grumbled. They reached the campsite. 

“Jaeger! Who do you have here?” One of the garrison soldiers shouted as they were spotted. 

The heiress gave up the struggle as Eren took her. “Just a bratty acquaintance that I know back at Trost.”  This made her scoffed at him. 

“Oh hello there, dollface. I’m Rick. What’s your name?” Great. This random soldier is hitting on her. She was about to say something, but Eren beats to it. 

“She doesn’t like being called a dollface.” Eren was getting irritated. 

“But I don’t mind introducing myself. Hello there, I’m Eve. it’s nice to meet you.” Her tone became too flirty for Eren already glaring at her. She finally jerks her arm off from his grip. 

Rick blushed from Eve’s bold gesture. “That’s a pretty name.” 

Eve gave one of her man-eating smirk. “You don’t mind showing me around the campsite, soldier.” She wrapped her arms around the garrison soldier’s arm which he gladly led her to the campsite leaving a very moody Eren behind.  

(Eren)

Oh the inner conflict he’s struggling with not grabbing Eve and claiming those addictive lips. This isn’t just a cute jealousy that he usually gets. This is the angry jealousy. Damn her, she definitely can get him under his skin. Eren closed his eyes as he took a deep breath to calm down. 

“Don’t lose it. Fight.” He mumbled to himself. 

Eren started walking. Connor stopped him. “What’s wrong? You look like a bobcat ready to attack.” 

“It’s nothing. I just have a headache.” The titan shifter walked away. Connor glanced to see the strange girl talking to the fiery red hair soldier. 

While Eren was walking to start making his tent, a cough sound was heard behind him. He turned around to see it was Commander Dok. 

“Oh hello Commander Dok. Is there something you need to talk about?” Eren gave his attention to the Commander of the Military Police. 

“Yes. Matter in fact, why did you bring a stranger to our secret campsite? We don’t know if the girl is a spy for the invaders. Her accent is not from here or even Marley. I know you want to redeem yourself for the betrayal and the atrocities you have caused in Marley. You’re making it difficult to have my complete trust in you and it’s not just me feeling this way. Commander Rico Brzenska of the Garrison branch also had her mistrust with you.” Niles said. 

“Commander, I understand you and Brzenska are on edge, especially the templars that took over the island. Eve is not a spy I assure you. She probably followed me since we left on bad terms. She’s harmless. Both of you have nothing to worry about.” Eren took a glimpse at his ex who was still being too friendly with the other soldier. 

Niles sighed and nodded. “She’s your responsibility if she does anything suspicious, Jaeger.” 

Eren nodded in response. “Of course, sir.”  

Niles walked away to let the titan shifter finish setting his tent. Again, the Eldian man took a sneak peak at the spunky woman. She was finally alone which it ease his agonizing heart. He knew this was his fault for leaving her after the promises he told her in their pillow talks. Eren felt the guilt for breaking her heart as the scene of her reaction when he told her off. 

It’s like the Path pulled them together. He can try to distance himself from her, but in the end she will always be in his thoughts. When he met her, Eren was frustrated and distracted. His distraction became curiosity to finally get to know her. Eren quickly focused back on his tent as Eve glanced back at him. Both are stubborn when it comes to their relationship dynamics. He always was the strong, protective alpha hero while as for her; she was playful, fun, and loving. There was another side of Eve that he noticed in their weeks of being together. 

The sky started to get a bit dark as the sun slowly set on the horizon. Rico Brzenska glanced at the new girl. 

“You. Go be useful and bring firewood.” She ordered Eve which the heiress became annoyed but got up to go into the deeper woods. 

“Jaeger, go make sure she does it.” Rico said to Eren who already started walking to follow Eve into the deep woods. 

Eren kept walking on the thin path of the woods as it gets dense the further he’s away from the campsite. The woods looked lush green with trees and old huge trunks that laid on the ground for centuries covered in green plants and wildflowers. The moist made the temperature drop a bit cooler, but to the titan shifter it doesn’t bother him. He was getting irritated from not finding his girl- no, she’s not his...anymore. 

“Where is she?” He whispered then a familiar purple skirt caught his attention. He turned to spotted Eve picking up a couple of sticks. Slowly, Eren walked towards her. 

Eve was aware Eren was tailing after her. She gets up and pretends he doesn’t exist. It only took a few steps for the atmosphere to change between them. Eren felt his predator desiring his prey. All she was a manipulative, promiscuous, vixen. Eren may be the type to get mad easily, but with her it was another level. He remembered earlier the way she flirted with Richie or was it Ricky? He doesn’t care to know about the soldier’s name. Eren watched her pace speed up  until she sprint into running. She had dropped the sticks to speed further. Eren ran after her. The adrenaline of chasing her made his bloodstream pump more. 

Eren smirked when Eve trip but recovered from placing her hand on the tree. Her breathing was shallow from the running. He was already behind her pressing his chest on her back which she became stiff. 

“I know what you were trying to do earlier with that soldier.” His voice became raspy. He can hear her heart beating faster. His warm breath tickling her ear and neck. 

The heiress bit her lips from not letting out a single moan or sound. Oh god, he’s making it harder to hate him. Of course, she can’t hate him. He’s always known how to drive her crazy for him. How his sexy voice made her panties ruin. She let her eyes closed to continue listening to his godly husky tone.  

“You have been pissing me off, baby. Trying to make me jealous huh?” A growl had escaped from his lips. 

“Trying? I had no intention of making you jealous.” Eve finally speaks. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Eve. I know you. I gotta give it to you. You’re persistent. There’s one question that’s bothering me the most.” He said

“What would that be?” She said. 

“Why didn’t the power of the Founding Titan work on you to erase your memories of me?” Eren had that question from the back of his mind since he caught her from falling from the tree. 

Eve had stayed quiet again. She is trying so hard to not want to answer that question. It should affect her since she has Eldian blood in her. Unless, she is a descendant of the Ackerman clan like Mikasa and Captain Levi. 

“I want you to be honest with you, Eve.” He tried to change his tone to softer for her. All she did was laugh like it was the funniest joke. 

“Honest? You are a funny guy to be demanding me to be honest with you, Eren Jaeger.” Her grey eyes glared dangerously in a way that’s familiar to him again. 

“Ever since I met you, you haven’t been honest with me either. You didn’t want to tell me of your plans whenever you claimed you had meetings to go. Recently, you have been pinning me on the tree because you got possessive of me. For a man who claims to have no feelings for me; this shouldn’t bother you whether who I flirt with.” Both lock their eyes in a staring contest. 

“So if you want me to be honest then you fucking better stop with your bullshit of pushing and pulling my heart. I know you still love me and feel that desire just as much I feel for you. Eren, whatever this secret it is, I will share your burden. I love you so much that I don’t want you to feel alone in this secret plan you needed to do. Maybe, I can offer you another alternative if you need it.” Now, her tone became compassionate. 

“There’s no alternative way if there were I would choose the best and safest one.” He said. 

“How would you know that? Have you considered it?” She said. 

“No, but trust me I know. I have the knowledge of truth. I saw how the future will become if I don’t do it.” He was getting frustrated. A part of him wants to tell her, but it’s too risky for anyone to know even for her. Eren doesn’t want anything terrible to happen to her. Just as she said, he loves her. 

“Then tell me what did you see in the future? I want to understand you. Let me in, please.” Her hands are placed on his cheeks to gently caress them.

“I can’t. Please, understand that. I want to protect you and our people. It’s better than my brother’s method on saving Eldians.” He scoffed at the idea that Zeke had to save the Eldians. 

“What was your brother’s plan? Can you at least tell me that?” She was curious what his brother had in mind to save the Eldian race?

“He wanted to sterilize all Eldians in order to stop the curse by dying out slowly and peacefully.” He explained. 

“That’s an indirect genocide.” She was a bit distrubed. 

“We don’t deserve to die out so in a way I betray my brother by doing this. That’s the future I want to see where Eldians are free from the curse and are at peace to live and enjoy this world that’s our birthright.” He said. 

“No, we don’t. Nobody deserves to be annihilated as well…” She whispered. This caught his attention. Does she….had she figured it out what’s his plan?” His green eyes glared at her. 

“You knew it. How did you figure out my plan? Eve, you have been mysterious since we met. So tell me, who are you for real? Is Eve even your real name?” His tone was skeptical. 

“I...Eren, if I told you, you might think I’m crazy or making shit up.” Her eyes looked afraid  but not because of him. 

“I don’t think whatever you’ll say will top for the crazy shit I have seen through the Path, but you can try to humor me.” Eren still giving a pinning stare. 

“First of all, Eve is my name. Well, my middle name. I’m Natasha Eve Ackerman-Stark. I’m the granddaughter of Queen Historia Ackerman nee Reiss and King Consort Levi Ackerman. Basically, I’m from the future.” Natasha waits nervously for his reaction. 

Eren blinked at first taking in this information. He doesn’t know what to say. It kind of made all sense how she had strengthened, sharp aiming skills. Now that he observed better, she got Levi’s colored eyes but her eye shape could be more on her mother's side. He would have not believed her if he hadn’t seen her Ackerman traits that gave away. That also makes sense in why she was immune to the Founding Titan power. He can’t believe she’s from the future. What actually happened? Did his plan work? Are we free? These questions were taking over his thoughts. 

“Eren...please say something.” Natasha whispered in worry. 

“I’m just taking all in from what you just said. So their baby survived? Wow, if Levi finds out I slept with his granddaughter; I don’t think he’ll let me live.” He chuckled at that thought. The heiress grumbled at that thought. 

“Yeah well, he got no saying about my love life.” her tone sounded resentment. 

“Do you have a good relationship with Levi?” He was curious. 

“Not really. I don’t have a good relationship with them. Our mindsets are a bit different.” She doesn’t want to talk about her issues with her grandparents yet. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He said. “So what happened or is that against  the rules when you traveled to the past?”

“We are still cursed but with good foreign relations with the rest of the world, the United Nations are now involved in managing to make sure who gets to inherit the nine titans so any babies with the blood of Subject Of Ymir won’t inherit when they are born. There’s still discrimination but segregation like in Marley had become illegal including every nation since a special law was passed to protect ever Eldians.” She explained. 

“Ah I see. So what happened to me?” If he somehow tried to wipe out the rest of the world except Eldians then there’s a chance he would not live. 

“What the history books say, you were executed for treason to the military and to my grandmother as she represents the nation of Paradis, but I heard rumors that they fake it to please the other nations as their agreement for the treaty Paradis have with the rest of the world. You were known as a war criminal and anti- humanity to everyone who studied history. Some say you are still alive and locked away in the deep deep grounds in a secret lab being studied like a labrat until the curse kills you.” Eren grunted. In the end no one was free. They were still cursed and he probably was a slave to be a test subject for titan science. 

“That doesn’t sound right. I should be dead either way since I have a few years left.” Eren said. 

“I wish it was true the rumor so when I do go back my time, I can free you.” her tone sounded sad. She thought what the future Eren will be like? Is he cold? How do they treat him? But like he said, he’ll be gone way before her existence. 

 It’s best to just appreciate he is here and ok. She grabs his hand to press her palm to his. Eren looked down curiously at her. He let her do whatever she tended to do with his hand. 

“I’ll be dead so you don’t have to worry about freeing me.” He whispered. Eren pulled her gently to have their bodies pressed against each other. 

“When are you going back to your time?” He continues. 

“Um, I don’t know...the thing is I came here accidentally. I was helping a colleague with a time machine, the facility I worked at. So, I’m stuck until I figure out how to get back home.” She doesn’t want to leave even without him. 

“You know, I never planned to fall for you, Eren Jaeger. You are nothing like what history has taught us. You’re much more humane than most people my nana used to deal with as a CEO.” Her arms wrap around his neck which his hands place on her hips. 

“Same, you have been a distraction to my plan. In a way, history has changed because of you. The world better be thanking you for that.” He said jokingly. Eren kissed her forehead affectionately. “Eve or I should call you Natasha?” 

“To be safe, let’s stick to Eve.” She said. 

“Alright, but I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I don’t mean to say these words at the inn. I thought it was best for you to hate me so you don’t get closer to me when I did plan on going through eradicating the population except Eldians. WHen I realized that I have fallen for you, I got scared thinking of losing you. I did the same with Armin and Mikasa. Armin forgave me but Mikasa; I don’t think she will ever.” Eren confessed. 

“Eren, I forgive you. I felt relieved you still feel the same way about me as I do to you. Don’t give up on Mikasa, a person who has cared about you for a long time will not easily hold a grudge against you. Just give her time, but don’t be scared to tell how sorry you are and as for her forgiveness.” She punched his arm which he rubbed his arm. 

“Hey what was that.” He pouted. 

“That’s for you being an idiot in believing all the people who cared about you will hate you easily for planning an apocalyptic disaster. I know you said there’s no other way, but can you try to consider it? I don’t want to lose my other family. I know they didn’t do anything wrong. Some didn't deserve it.” Eren sighed. If the outcome hasn’t happened as he hoped for then maybe he’ll consider it.  

“The only thing I want to know is how will the curse be broken?” Eren wants to be cursed to be destroyed to free their people from being hated and feared by the rest of the world. That's one of his big concerns. 

“We’ll figure it out together. Plus, I have a talent for finding very hidden documents. So we’ll make sure our people will not have to worry about it.” She assured him and gave one of her warmth smiles. 

“Jaeger! Eve! Where are you?” A familiar voice was heard by those two. Eren pulled Eve to hide behind a very wide tree as they saw Ricky or whatever his name was. Now Eren’s mood had shifted to annoyance. 

“Seriously, why does he have to come? He’s probably volunteering to be close to you.” He grumbled. Eve blushed embarrassingly. Yeah, she does have flaws to pissed off people or make them jealous. She felt guilty for making him feel that way, She was so hurt that she wanted to see him be hurt too. 

Eren noticed her face blushed which made his annoyance become irritated. He possessively wraps his arm around her waist to hold her closer to him. Once the garrison soldier gives up and goes back to the campsite, both are alone again. This time Eren turned her to face him. She was about to speak when his lips crashed against hers. The fiery feeling spread all over her body. She moaned how passionate and deep his kiss had become. Her fingers move up to his long hair to run through it. Low key, seeing Eren this jealous made her belly flutter. The way his green eyes become intense and darken; it’s just too irresistible for her. Eren pushed her against the tree to pin her again. The pleasure consuming both as the lusting feeling drunkenly blinded them. 

Eve was her own person that Eren knows, but he’s possessive. He wanted to leave his markings on her so others would back off. Their dynamic is like those impulsiveness couples that are addictive and passionate with each other. He loved how her body responded to his touches. It’s like only he has the power to make her tremble and beg for more. The same vice versa as how Eve acts towards him. In a way they are both similar. They made be in the woods but that won’t stop to go further. Their bodies already yearn for each other. His hands had unbuttoned her blouse to run his tongue all over her exposing breasts. 

Soft moans were coming from her own lips. She was panting loud and heavy. It made Eren’s prides swell from seeing her looking like a hot mess. His hand goes under her purple skirt to feel how soaking wet her panties are. His lips hovered to her ear. 

“My dollface is so wet for me. Isn’t that right, baby? Come on, speak.” He said huskily. 

“Mmmm I-I...Eren.” She struggled to form a sentence. He chuckled how lost she is from his touch. His finger slides her panties down as one of her legs is removed so only her panties dangle on the other leg.  

“Come on, babe, answer my question.” He teased her. Eren resumed attending her nipples with his mouth which Eve let out a squeal. 

“Fuck...Eren I-I a-am w-wet for y-you.” Finally she completed her phrase. 

“Good girl. Remember I’m the only one who can make you wet.” He continued whispering to her. All she could feel was his fingers inside her deep. She started to rock her hips grinding in and out of his fingers. Eren is amused at how eager she is for him. His finger was covered in her warm slick when he pulled out to see. 

“Eren, I need you.” She began to make way to his pants from undoing it. He stopped her then pinned her hands over her head on the tree. “Why should I allow you to get what you want? You've been a bad girl earlier.” 

“I’m sorry, I’ll be a good girl.” Eve biting her lips. She’s definitely a seductress. Eren’s manhood throbbing to be free in his pants. He grunts at being allured to her desire. He planned to just tease her to learn her lesson. 

He subconsciously begins to unbutton his pants to pull down a bit low enough for his cock to be free.  Eren hiked up her long skirt to have her leg lift to be placed on his hip while inserting his cock into her hole. The heiress tilted her head up to moan how good it feels to have him stretching her walls. He stared into her eyes as his hips began to thrust hard and deep. They feel the blissful sensation from being so intimated with each other. He kisses her neck as the woods are now dark but the moonlight shines on where they stand. To Eren, Eve looked like a goddess of the night seducing a man like him. He loved how the moonlight soaks into her skin that gives off a glow. He continues thrusting into her with a bit more roughness. He doesn’t want to speed up to make this mystical sight before him last longer. Her chocolate brown hair spread on the tree trunk. He listens to the echoes of her moanings  and whimpers. 

Yes, she is his. No matter the outcome; they always belong together. He’ll fight for that. 

“You’re always mine. Even when we get separated, you’re mine. I love you always and forever.” He proclaimed. 

“You’re always mine too. Just don’t ever pull that shit on me again. I love you always forever.” The titan shifter saw her tears fall and he kissed it from the guilt he felt how he treated her even if it was for her sake. 

Eren sped up a bit more to increase the high of pleasure for both of them. “Ohh god ohh fuck Eren.” Her moaning became loud while he growls and groans. Finally, he let out a moan when he made a release inside her soon after Eve came as well. Both stopped to rest for a second then slowly Eren pulled out to clean his tip before tucking his cock back into his pants and button again. 

Eve started to slide her panties back up then button up her blouse. She fixes her long skirt appropriately and her hair to look presentable. 

“Oh shit, it’s dark and I’m gonna get yelled for not bringing sticks for the fire.” She forgot what was her main purpose being in the woods. “You can be such a distraction.” 

Eren winked then grabbed her hand to lead her back to the campsite. “I’m not sorry. We’ll get some on our way back to the camp.” 

Along their way back, both of them gather many sticks of wood to burn for the fire. By the time they got to their destination, Rico glared at the both of them. 

“Well well, are you both done fucking like two animals during heat season? Next time, bring the woods when I order too. Seriously, you both have some weird kinks in being loud enough for anyone very close to hear.” Luckily, her voice wasn’t loud for anyone to hear her calling both couples out. Eren and Eve blushed embarrassingly from being scolded like misbehaving teenagers. After Rico finished scolding, she left them alone for them to place the wood close to the pit. Eren let Eve for her to put some wood into the fire to make it big to warm around the campsite. He walked to where Connor was resting against the log. “You look happy for once.” Connor glanced at him. Eren had a smile from the event that happened in the woods. “Yeah.” 

“Good, don’t let her get away. I had a woman like her, but I was stupid enough to push her away. Don’t make the same  mistake I did, kid.” The Assassin closed his eyes to resume his nap. 

A/N: My fingers are hurting from typing so much lol. I’ll just leave it like this and let you think about how you guys like this chapter. I know guys wanted to see more of Levi’s ancestor journey. I will do that in the next chapter and add more of Historia too. Enjoy this chapter everyone and happy valentine’s day!!!! Thank you for the reviews and kudos! Also, I have been planning to add Avengers into the crossover. I am just waiting for the right time in the story.

[msjr0119]

We Belong

Part 8

Evangeline Bruley returns to Cordonia to take over her families Duchy. She was betrothed to the now King, however he is engaged to Duchess Riley but still has lingering feelings towards his first love. What will happen during her time back in Cordonia?

Just using combined tag list- if you want to be removed just let me know 😊

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desiree---1986 @gardeningourmet @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog @princessleac1 @scarletreesex

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol abuse, mention of murder, potential murder. Long chapter- sorry! There’s lots of skipping time...

*****

“Oh really Bast. Care to explain why I was the reasoning behind my husbands death?” Denial had set in, as it had done all these years- providing a confident smirk she couldn’t wait for the guard to elaborate on his assumption.

“Your problem with alcohol, Bi. He was too worried about you and your children’s welfare that he wasn’t concentrating that day... he failed the royal family...” Letting out a sinister laugh, Bastien looked at her frustratedly- he knew the real Bianca and this wasn’t her. When he had first met her, she welcomed everyone into her family home- she mothered everyone, she put her family as number one priority.

“Fuck the royal family. They wouldn’t give him time off, that’s why he died...he was tired... I don’t see how it was my fault. Then the Bruleys stole my kids off me...” Knowing whatever he said, she was going to respond with denial- but he needed to defend the people that were there when she wasn’t even if it took him the rest of his life for it to sink in.

“They did no such thing! They were good people who looked after your children along with the King and Queen. All because you cared more about the booze. Now I will escort you to a spare room. Then you will go home to Texas.”

“I’m here for the wedding, and to see my children and my grandson.”

“You have never cared about them. So what is the real reason as to why you are here?” To bring down the crown, and Evangeline. I’m not the only one- let’s hope your tired and not concentrating during this important event, head guard.

*****

Evie began to stir, dreaming about her passionate night with Drake- she didn’t want to wake up. Feeling content with her life at the moment, in her dreams and thoughts she regretted wasting all these years without Drake as they are now. Wondering what their future held, could they be happy like all their friends are? Was Toby cheating on her fate? Was him and Kiara not working through their relationship fate? Was all of Olivia’s meddling fate? The answer to all those questions were, yes- and now she couldn’t wait to finally settle down. The strong scent of whiskey surrounded her waking her up from her slumber, blinking as she checked her phone she realised that it was only 7am. Too early for drinking, seriously Drake?Turning around there was no sign of Drake- suddenly she was alert and awake, wondering where he was and where the sudden smell of whiskey had vanished to. Putting the satin babydoll dress on, she took some painkillers before searching for Drake.

“Hey, what are you doing out of bed?” Facing away from her, he could sense her presence as soon as she entered the kitchen- pouring her a coffee, he eventually turned around giving her the newly brewed drink and a kiss on the cheek.

“I wondered where you was. I smelt whiskey...” But it’s not you. Am I dreaming about whiskey now?

“Must be your imagination. I know Olivia thinks that I’m an alcoholic but I know it’s too early to have a drink. Although I feel drunk around you when you are wearing that...” Damn these painkillers must be strong, imagining whiskey. She was snapped out of her thoughts as Drake lifted her up on to the table.

“Can your imagination predict what I’m about to do to you Duchess?”

*****

Liam woke up debating what to do about Bianca, internal thoughts battled against each other- not knowing which was the right path to follow. There was a slight bit of jealously that his friend was with his childhood sweetheart, but he cared for Drake- and didn’t want to ruin his happiness or friendship. Besides he had a beautiful fiancée and child on its way.

“Li?”

“Sorry, did I disturb you?”

“No... okay - yes you did. You’ve been fidgety all night. Is it because of Tariq’s and Neville’s funerals next week or because of Drakes mom?”

“Both. Especially Bianca. I can’t tell Drake and Savannah that she’s here. But I can’t send her away whilst she’s like this.” Liam wrapped his arm around Riley, hoping that she could help him decide on what to do. Drake had briefly informed her about his relationship with his family- how she ran away when life got tough, then how Savannah did the same. But he failed to mention to her that his mother was an alcoholic- Riley now realised that it was probably to do with embarrassment, or to protect himself and Savannah.

“How long has she been like this? Did it start when Jackson died?”

“No. I think we was about ten when she became dependent on the alcohol. Her sister was on the verge of losing their ranch, she couldn’t cope with Jackson working long hours. Two days before he passed away, she showed herself up in front of Evie’s parents- they took Drake and Savannah in for the night. I don’t know what to do Ri. Do I tell them or not?” In the back of her mind she believed that he should inform them of their mothers impromptu visit- especially to warn them. But on the other hand would that warning cause trouble, she didn’t want her to become a burden on everyone especially Drake. She was thinking about why people had left her to continue struggling with the addiction and why no one had convinced her to attempt counselling and rehab.

“When’s Savannah and Bertrand back?”

“They are coming back for the wedding. I’m not sure the exact date, as far as I’m aware they are returning the night before. She seems to only show up back here when it’s a special occasion.” Hearing a knock on the door, Liam immediately shot out of bed. Ready to berate whoever it was.

“Sir? Sorry to disturb you so early. I have some bad news.”

“Is it Bianca? What has she done now?”

“No, she’s sleeping. It’s your father. He passed away in the night. I’m so sorry, Liam.”

*****

The King father’s funeral took place a few days after his death- the whole country were in silence, mourning their “beloved” ex monarch. Shock was also a common expression throughout the country- the only people that was aware of his illness was his family, but they believed he had a longer lifespan- so were all also shocked at the news. Liam and Leo supported their step mother throughout the ceremony, she explained how Constantine wasn’t thrilled about Riley being his choice- but he would have loved to be at the wedding and support them.

Tariq’s and Neville’s funerals were quick and short. Many people providing crocodile tears- the two men were despised within court, but the majority of people just attended out of curiosity. Hoping that the truth regarding their deaths would come alight. Liam provided a speech, not wanting to criticise the deceased instead turning negative factors about their lives into positive ones. Many ‘mourners’ now expressed the same expression- grimace but deep down were relieved.

*****

Liam and Riley had decided to postpone their wedding due to all the deaths that had unexpectedly occurred- it was now taking place two months later than its original date. It was a hard decision to make, especially as Riley was beginning to grow a slight baby bump. They were due to go for her first scan today, if everything was adequate with the baby’s health- they had decided to announce it at their wedding rehearsal dinner that was taking place later that night.

“Your majesty, Duchess Riley. Are you both ready to see your baby?” They both nodded, both excited but also nervous at the same time. Liam had believed that when he was younger that this would have been him and Evie. Now it was reality with Riley, his fiancée- he understood that fate had a way of changing destiny, in a positive way. He was finally getting the family that he had always dreamt of- with everything that had happened the last few weeks, this was now something positive to look forward to, not only for himself and Riley but also for Cordonia. Holding her hand, he slowly began to lose his usual stoic expression- worrying about this, as most new parents would do.

“Are you okay?” Riley asked cupping his cheek, knowing that he wasn’t as his whole body was tense.

“Yes love. I love you both. I’m just nervous.”

“We love you too daddy.” Hearing her say this made it finally sink in- he was going to be a father.

Placing the gel onto her stomach, Riley flinched at the sudden coldness even though she had a pre warning. After a while, they heard noises escape the machine- both their eyes formed tears as they looked at their child for the first time.

“The baby is fine, all measuring correctly. Is there anything you’d like to ask?”

“No.” They said in unison, both jaws nearly hitting the ground- disbelief still surrounding their minds that they had created this little miracle.

“I love you my Queen, are you ready to go back. We can then announce to everyone our news.” Looking at the photo, she traced her fingers along it.

“Yes, lets hope our closest friends can act surprised.”

*****

Everyone arrived at the rehearsal dinner, they had decided to add an American tradition for the Queen to be. The guests all congratulated the happy couple, all looking forward for the nuptials that were taking place the next day.

“Drakey!” Bianca ran up to her son, he wasn’t sure how to react. The anger towards her that lingered every day since his childhood. The confusion as to why she was here. The frustration that she was drunk as always. Placing his arm around Evie he whispered in her ear, I’ll see you in a bit- I need to sort her out. Evie was hesitant about leaving him, knowing how she ruined his childhood as well as Savannah’s- but eventually agreed. Kissing her on the cheek, he had hoped that his mother’s visit was just a flying visit and that she would become non existent again.

“What are you doing here?” For the first time in a couple months- his infamous scowl had returned.

“No kiss for me, but a kiss for the little bitch who’s parents tried ruin your life- her parents who tried to take you and your sister away from me.”

“They did no such thing.”

“Oh please tell me you and Evangeline aren’t....”

“What if we were? It’s none of your business. I love her, Mom. Now answer my question. Why are you here?”

“I’m here for Liam’s wedding obviously. You can’t love her. Would you love her if your father didn’t stop the arrangement?”

“Im actually surprised you’ve turned up, oh silly me- you only come back for special occasions that provide a free bar. I loved her when she was in that arrangement. I am going to spend time with the woman that I love, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t follow me.”

“Oh Drake, let me in to a little secret.... I killed Michaela and Alexander. Alcohol and driving doesn’t mix. I paid someone to cover my tracks. Why do you think I insisted that you came to Texas when the was funeral taking place? Who do you think started those rumours off about the Bruleys- the rumours that turned everyone against them. I’m not leaving Cordonia- it would be a shame for anything to happen to poor little Evie. Goodnight son, I’ll see you at the wedding.”

Evie had been watching the interaction between Drake and Bianca from a distance- noticing how his expressions were originally anger but confident, then how it turned into shock.

“Hey handsome.” Fuck, I need to protect her.

“Evie I can’t be with you... I’m so sorry.” Evie’s eyes widened, immediately searching for Maxwell- assuming that he would be stood in the corner laughing at this practical joke. Trying to convince herself that this was something Maxwell would do for entertainment. There was no other explanation as to why their relationship should abruptly end.

“Excuse me?” Were the only words she managed to express, as Drake looked at her with sorrow in his eyes.

“My mom has some vendetta against you. I can’t ....”

“Yeah I heard you Drake. You can’t be with me...” Not realising how loud she was, everyone turned their heads towards the two of them. “How could you humiliate me like this? What was I Drake? Just a fuck? To get back at Liam for stealing the girl you love?”

“No. I love you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Too late.” Fighting the tears back was proving a difficult task, hoping that this conversation wasn’t ruining the night for her friends. Remaining in silence, she couldn’t comprehend what was happening- Drake tried to comfort her, but she pushed him away.

“Is everything okay?” Bianca asked as she smirked at Evie, before standing next to Drake placing her hand on his shoulder. Grimacing at his Mom, he brushed her away from him- not wanting to be anywhere near her.

“The best mother and actress award goes to Bianca Walker. See ya around Drake.” Regretting what he had done, he was undecided whether to follow her or not. Deciding how to grovel for forgiveness. Bianca watched Evie storm out of the room, with Olivia following her- she knew Nevrakis wouldn’t be an issue. Her focus was to brainwash her son against them all. Maybe get him on her side to accomplish her vengeance.

“Don’t worry about her. All these nobles care about are themselves. Come back to Texas with me darling. Where you belong.”

“You got what you wanted Mom. Why couldn’t you die instead of dad? I hate you. You are not my mom anymore, goodbye Bianca- enjoy the flight back to Texas on your own.”

*****

The day after the disastrous rehearsal dinner was the wedding of the century, all of Cordonia was relieved that this day had finally arrived.

Leo and Drake went up to Liam’s study, both already suited and booted.

“Don’t you both look dashing. Are you both trying to upstage me?”

“Well I did that a long time ago little brother, but I’ll let you have the spotlight today. Just this once though- I’m the more handsome brother.” Leo knew Liam was nervous, so decided to keep the upbeat attitude rather than provide a heart to heart conversation.

“Drake? Are you okay?” Liam hadn’t heard from neither Drake nor Evie after the commotion that Bianca had caused- he even had doubts that the two of them would even turn up.

“Yeah Li. It’s your wedding day, it should be me asking you that.”

“You need to fix things with Evie, I don’t know what you was thinking. All I wanted my whole life was for her to love me back, you had that and you let her go.” Drake felt guilty, knowing that he had a diamond - a diamond who the king, his friend had pined for all those years- and he let her go in an instant.

“Li, my mom hates her.. I don’t want my mom’s vendetta to cause trouble between us. You don’t know what she’s capable of. Could you imagine if we got married or had children... my mom would destroy us. So I’m saving her and myself from the heartache now.”

“No offence Walker but is your mother in this relationship too? No she isn’t.”

“Leo’s right. She will going back to Texas, and who knows when you’ll see her again. I still don’t understand why she’s here- we didn’t invite her to the wedding.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. Listen, I’m sure Evie will have calmed down- at the reception, try and talk to her. Ask her for a dance. Myself and Riley won’t be offended if you both sneak off.....” Straightening his tie, he closed his eyes. It’s time. “I think I’m ready. Leo are you ready to marry me?” Leo nodded, the three men had a scotch before making their way to the cathedral.

****

Arriving at the cathedral with Olivia, Evie was in a trance- not really wanting to attend, not wanting to see Bianca again.

“Are you okay? Fuck Bianca, Drake is a jerk- but he does love you and you love him. Just talk to him now you’ve calmed down.” I’m not wasting anymore time watching you cry, I sacrificed my love life last night to comfort you.

“I feel really sick. I don’t want to be here. I’ll listen to their vows and then I’ll leave. I’m sure they won’t mind.... Liv pass me your bag quick!” Olivia passed her best friend the bag, not really understanding why- until she heard Evie use it as a sick bag.

“For fuck sake Evie, it’s Prada!”

“I’m sorry, I’m just really nervous. I don’t want to see him.”

“Are you sure it’s nerves? It could be a stomach bug, or alcohol poisoning after the amount you consumed yesterday. I better give the bag to Riley in case she wants to use it too...”

“It’s nerves. Trust me.”

Walking down the aisle the two duchesses took a seat, Olivia smiled at Liam and Drake whilst Evie stared off into space.

“Look at you two, don’t you both look lovely.”

“Fuck off!”

“That’s no way to talk to people Duchess Evangeline.”

“I can talk to you however I want Mrs Walker. Excuse me I’m going to be sick.”

“What is her issue?” Bianca asked Olivia, in an innocent tone of voice.

“You are. You are everyone’s issue. I’m surprised you’re not stumbling around yet. Or is it because you don’t want to make a scene in front of the press?”

“Duchess Olivia, I can behave when I need to. Besides my daughter and grandson are on their way- I don’t want Bartie to inhale my alcohol breathe.”

“Oh but it was okay for Drake and Savannah when they were kids to inhale it. Go away Bianca no one wants you here.”

****

Leo made the ceremony entertaining, with laughter echoing throughout the cathedral- the emotions soon changed the moment Liam and Riley said their vows to each other. There was tears throughout the cathedral, it truly was a fairytale love story.

“What’s up Evie? You’re pretty emotional- that could have been you.” Bianca asked as she lent forward, intentionally ready to cause trouble yet again.

“That would have never been me.”

“No you just prefer Dukes who cheat on you. Shame really, the Bruley name would have disappeared in a flash if you stayed in London and married him. Like your parents disappeared, they thought they could steal my children off me.”

“Don’t talk about my parents. They did a lot when you was absent along with Constantine, Regina and Bastien.”

“Bianca shut the fuck up because I’m going to do it for you if not. Leave my best friend alone.” Before Bianca could respond, Savannah squeezed in next to her mom after overhearing the conversation.

“Mom, you’re embarrassing me. Everyone helped myself and Drake- you need to make it up to these people. And please get some help.” Evie turned around, shocked that savannah had defended her, providing a half hearted smile- she turned back towards the happy couple.

“You ready to go?” Olivia whispered, with a smirk- as she pulled out the hip flask.

“I’m a Duchess, get me out of here- get me to the champagne that’s at the end of the bridge.”

****

Throughout the reception, everyone mingled with each other- The congratulations continued for the happy couple. Drake stood in a corner, his eyes focused on Evie- admiring her beauty, his heart just wanted to take her away from all of this. Liam had noticed what Drake had been doing ever since they arrived- giving his friend a nudge, he knew what to do. Feeling like he had to drag his feet forward, it was as if a magnet was pulling him away from her.

“Duchess Evangeline, may I have this dance?” Drake wasn’t aware about how many whiskeys he had consumed to pluck up the courage to speak to her.

“Sir Walker, thank you. But I have to decline. I promised a dance to Lord Maxwell.”

“He’s dancing with Hana.”

“I meant Leo.”

“He’s with Penelope.” Fuck.

“Rashad. This champagne has gone straight to my head. Rashad... I meant him.” Drake looked over towards Rashad, who was whispering into Kiara’s ear before leading her on to the balcony- Evie noticed too, knowing there were no other options apart from Toby and the mysterious man stood with him. But she wasn’t going to go down that route.

“Evie, please. I know my mom has caused trouble, I want to rectify it. I wasn’t thinking straight. I love you. I can see a future with you. Hate me all you want, I deserve it. I just want you to know that I love you, and I’ll carry on fighting for you. Even if it takes me another ten years....”

“Evie! Dance off?” Maxwell shouted as he bounced towards the two.

“Sure Maxi. See ya Drake.” Max jumped up and down like an excited puppy, Drakes heart sunk watching the Lord place a smile across her face. He was extremely disappointed that she couldn’t provide a bit of an inkling that she still cared for him.

“Give her time Drake, she’s not feeling well. She’s been sick three times today- once in my Prada bag, she’s lucky she’s still walking.” Drake wondered why she would be sick, why she was in fact still walking if anyone else had done that they’d be planning their funeral. Leaving Olivia, he went back over towards Liam- knowing full well he had failed Evie and was potentially going to get a lecture off of his best friend for not trying hard enough.

Evie had finished her dance with Maxwell, and noticed Bianca pestering the Queen. Making her way over, she grabbed another glass of champagne- hoping it would blank Bianca out of her mind- luckily for her Bianca created a distance.

“Congratulations Riley. Your vows were beautiful.”

“Thank you Evie. I’m glad you came.”

The two women spoke comfortably in other’s company, with Bianca lurking in the shadows. Evie informed Riley about Liam’s childhood- the times they shared together with the rest of their friends, all the embarrassing memories of Liam. Then the conversation turned into the future heir, Riley showed Evie the photo of the scan that they had. “Aw. Riley, I’m so happy for the two of you. I’m going to spoil him or her.”

“Myself and Liam were talking last night... I’m sure he won’t mind me telling you. But we wanted to ask you to be godmother. You’ve had my back, protected the baby before it’s even born.” Evie remained silent, not knowing how to respond at first. Wondering what people would think about her being her ex’s child’s godmother.

“Id love to be its godmother. Thank you so much, Auntie Evie can’t wait to meet you little one.” Uncontrollably crying, she didn’t know what had come over her- maybe it was just the reason as to why they chose her out of everyone.

“I’m glad. I didn’t think you’d get this emotional though.. I’m the pregnant one.”

Before Evie could respond, Bianca knocked into Riley sending her straight to the floor- her head narrowly missing the vase that stood next to them.

“Oops! Did I hurt you, your Majesty.”

****

“Riley! Are you okay?” Evie helped the Queen to stand before providing Bianca with dagger eyes.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Do you want me to get Liam for you?”

“Do you want me to get Liam for you... because I’m little miss perfect... why do you care about her?”

“Bianca shut the fuck up! I’m caring about my godchild too!”

“I’m glad my son humiliated you... he deserves better than you. You would put everyone first before him- are you jealous that she achieved the crown and not you. You’re abnormal Evangeline.”

“Drake deserves a better mother. I think you should leave. You wasn’t even invited.” Riley defended Evie, knowing that the woman had got under her skin.

“Trust me Evie, my little stumble with the Queen was nothing... I’m not going anywhere...”

Evie snatched the drink out of Biancas hand, if it was anyone else she would potentially have empathy towards them- try and help them battle their demons. But not Bianca Walker, the woman who for over a decade had caused trouble due to her alcoholism.

“What the hell do you think your doing?”

“You’ve had enough, and you are going to kill yourself.” Beginning to shake, Bianca watched Evie pour the liquid in the nearest plant pot. Anger began to build up, how dare she- she thought in her head on repeat. Seeing the man walk towards her- she knew his intentions, she was involved as well. Taking her opportunity, the original plan had changed- Bianca was after vengeance, not only on the crown but on the last remaining Bruley.

“How dare you humiliate me?” Pulling Evie’s hair, she dropped the glass- before being forcefully pushed into the man. Evie, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen. I was just needed to threaten the Queen with the knife not cause harm.

“EVIE!” The ballroom suddenly went silent, hearing the Queens voice. Liam and Drake immediately witnessed Evie fall to the ground.

“Bastien get the medics now!”

“Mom- Bianca what happened? Who the fuck are you?”

“Duke Tobias... he... he... I couldn’t stop him Drake... he came over to Evie and just stabbed her... for no reason.” Bianca smirked discreetly as Toby removed his balaclava- horror written all over his face.

“Evie, I didn’t mean to... she fell into me... your mother.... id never hurt her... I love her...”

“What happened?” Liam asked Riley as she stood shaking, whilst watching the guards remove Toby from the situation.

“She fell into me before- Evie defended me.... again...she was horrible to Evie....so she took the wine off her. Next minute he’s there with a knife, and Evie was pushed into him by Bianca. I thought you had security scrutinising the palace Liam! What if that was for me? Or you?”

“Bastien, take Mrs Walker to cells too! And get my Queen to safety. That’s your kings orders.” Bastien nodded, feeling like he had failed everyone- looking at Evie laying in a puddle of blood, he then focused his gaze onto Drake who was applying pressure to wound whilst cradling her.

“You better hope she survives Walker!”

“I know Liv, this is all my fault... and you’re gonna stab me for hurting her... I already know.”

“Well yes... but if she dies... the Bruleys wrote in their will that you will become heir to their Duchy.” What the fuck? “Savannah can’t do it because she’s soon going to be Duchess of Ramsford. I know you’re not into all this court shit- but you better get praying now.”

“Liv shut the fuck up! If you’re not going to help go away!” Looking at her friend, she tried to hold the tears back. Ready to kill Bianca and Toby herself. Leaving the crime scene, she assisted the majority of the guests outside to give Evie some privacy.

“Evie you can’t leave me, one reason- I don’t really want to be a Duke... unless I marry you. Two, I’m sorry for trying to protect you and finishing us. I love you so much... I’m a dickhead for letting you go. Please don’t leave me... I love you.”

Evie it’s time.

Mother?

My darling daughter, it’s time to come home to us. We’ve missed you. We love you.

Father? Both smiling softly at her, they held their hands out in the distance.

I’ve missed you both so much. I love you both.

“Evie get that stubborn ass up. You’re a fighter! I can’t cope with Walker crying. I’m beginning to cry- and I don’t cry. Please...you’re my best friend.”

It’s time. Come with us. We will be together again- as a family.

I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you.

You haven’t, you’re a fantastic caring friend to everyone. But it’s time to let go.

“Evie, come on. Wake up. Who’s going to cry over titanic with me? Come back jack. Come back Evie.”

I can’t leave my friends.

You will be reunited with them when their time comes. You saved Cordonias Queen and the heir.

I don’t know how much more I can fight. I’m going to be a godmother. I can’t fail it already.

“Evie, thank you for saving my wife and child- but you are going to survive this. We all love you. We need you to fight.”

Liam’s right, you need to fight.

“Walker?”

“She’s just said Walker... Drake talk to her again.” Olivia said as she dragged him down towards Evie’s body.

I’m surprised you didn’t call me Sir. You’re a fighter Evie Bruley. I love your parents, but they are incorrect. It’s not time.

I’ve got nothing left, I may as well give up.

You’ve got your friends. You have my son, Drake.

“Where are the fucking paramedics? Evie, I’ve known that I’ve loved you since I was probably about thirteen. I waited years to have you in my arms. You and I have a great future. Just us. I fucked up, please forgive me. Maybe in time we can have a little Gracie and a little Tommy. You can’t give up, I’m not leaving you...”

Drake doesn’t think, he was protecting you from my wife. She hates your family because you all looked after him and Sav when I passed. He gave you up out of love. I saw you both at my cabin, the whiskey you smelt was me, the door suddenly opening was me, the cold breeze after you two- you know what- that was me. Myself and your parents are always watching over you all.

He should have fought for me, not given up - even if Bianca is forever causing trouble.

“Your majesty, the paramedics are here. I’ll escort everyone into the back room. Who’s going with her?”

“Drake.” They all said in unison.

It’s time Evie. If you decide its time, we will wait for your spirit to leave. If not, we are so proud of you- keep making us proud. We love you.

Evangeline, don’t give up. I’ll keep an eye over you, my son, my daughter and my grandchildren.

Grandchildren?

Yes. My grandchildren. Bartie and.......

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 2x15 “The Queen is Dead” Review

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19 1x20 1x21 1x22 2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06 2x07 2x08 2x09 2x10 2x11 2x12 2x13 2x14

Well, Cora has certainly had her hands in the pot for a very long time. We find out that she not only killed Snow’s mother, but also orchestrated young Regina saving young Snow (which young Regina had totally called her out on in The Stable Boy and Cora had denied). And Mary Margaret has terrible birthdays. Too many people die on them. And we get confirmation that Neal has been alive for a couple hundred years, and the fact that he knows Hook and how to steer his ship, I think Neal has definitely been in Neverland for awhile. And Neal has a fiance, so thank goodness we’re not going to go down the Neal/Emma train that Gold was so into. Ew!

Summary: Mary Margaret and David rush to find Gold’s dagger before Cora and Regina find it. Hook makes his way to New York and manages to find Gold and stab him with poison. In the Enchanted Forest, Snow’s birthday celebration is marred by her mother’s sudden illness and Snow goes to great lengths to try and save her.

Opening: Library and Clock Tower

New Characters:

The Queen: She’s never given a name in this episode, maybe we’ll find out in the future. She’s a benevolent queen. She doesn’t believe they are any better than anyone else in the kingdom just because they’re royalty. Something she has to teach young Snow, when she becomes a little brat. It’s nice to see where Snow gets her heart from. She has a mother that not only teaches her what is right and wrong behavior, but also doesn’t let Snow get away with acting like most royalty would. The queen tells Snow that when they crown her with the tiara on her birthday, it will represent that she always holds goodness in her heart. They all look in the mirror and the the queen has some sort of attack, but tries to convince Snow that she is fine. She continues to tell Snow she’ll be fine, but then she starts coughing up blood, and Snow knows she won’t be fine. After Snow goes to see the Blue Fairy, she tells her mother she couldn’t save her because she wouldn’t take another life. The queen is visibly relieved to hear that Snow didn’t do something dark. She tells Snow that it wasn’t fear about killing someone else, it was strength. She’s very proud of her. Snow begs her to not to leave, but the queen says she’ll always be with her if there is goodness in her heart. And then she dies. That escalated very quickly, whatever she was poisoned with worked really fast, Leopold couldn’t even get home to see her before she died.

Character Observations:

Snow/Mary Margaret: Basically, we get to see that Snow was a brat at one point, and her mother taught her about goodness and treating people with respect, whether they were royals or servants. Snow is tested when her mother is dying by Cora pretending to be the Blue Fairy. She gives her a candle that would save her mother, but it would require killing someone else in the process. Had Snow not been taught goodness from her mother, she may have just killed a random peasant, but instead, she comes to terms with the fact that her mother’s life is no more important than anyone else's. Snow thinks she couldn’t do it out of fear, but her mother tells her it took strength. And then her mother dies and Snow mourns. The funeral is being held on the day that was supposed to be Snow’s birthday celebration (that sucks, my grandfather was buried on my mom’s birthday (her father) as it was the only day we could get the rabbi, so I get Snow’s feelings on this). Johanna gives her a pep talk about how the kingdom will get their strength from her, and Snow questions where she’ll find her strength now that her mother has died. Johanna lets her know she’ll still get it from her mother. Snow puts on a brave face for the funeral and leads her kingdom for the first time.

Mary Margaret is not having a good day. It’s her birthday and she does not like to celebrate her birthday. David tries to play it off like he had no idea it was her birthday but she’s not buying it. She finds a present that someone left for her. It’s her tiara and it’s from her old servant Johanna. Mary Margaret goes off to find her. She finds her gardening behind her house and they reunite. They bond over their shared grief of missing Mary Margaret’s mother. It’s almost like Snow is at least getting her surrogate mother back. They hear something in the woods, and wouldn’t you know, Cora and Regina just happen to be digging, looking for the dagger and talking about it, right behind Johanna’s house. Mary Margaret overhears them and specifically that Cora will make the Dark One kill anyone Regina likes. Mary Margaret goes to tell David (who she finds knocked because of Hook), and tells him what she overheard. Mary Margaret thinks she can talk to Regina and put some doubt about Cora in her mind. Regina meets Mary Margaret at Granny’s and she thinks Mary Margaret asked her to come to tell her about Henry. Mary Margaret comes straight out and tells her she knows all about Cora and the dagger. Regina tries to say what she does is her business, but Mary Margaret basically tells her that a war is about to happen and she needs to choose the side of good. Regina says she’s always been good; Mary Margaret added the evil part. Mary Margaret tells her what she’s doing isn’t good and questions why she’d go back to being like this after working to change. Regina says it got her nowhere and accused of murder. Regina tells her to stay out of her way. Mary Margaret reminds her that Cora doesn’t care about Henry, just about power, and she doesn’t care about Regina. Regina asks what Mary Margaret would know about mothers. Ugh! Poor Mary Margaret. Her mother died when she was young and then she never got to be a mother to Emma. Mary Margaret, David, and Mother Superior try to use fairy magic to break into Gold’s store, presumably to see if they can find the dagger, but he’s protected it and Mother Superior can’t get in with her magic. Mary Margaret makes reference to using dark magic like before, but Mother Superior has no idea what she’s talking about. Luckily, Emma calls David with the location of the dagger right at that moment. Mary Margaret and David find it attached to one of the hands on the clock tower and they are happy that they can now control the Dark One, but Cora and Regina show up to fight for the dagger. Mary Margaret practically rubs it in Regina’s face that good has won like usual, which, of course, means evil is about to triumph. Because Cora poufs Johanna in and Regina takes her heart. Johanna begs Mary Margaret not to give them what they want, but Mary Margaret can’t bear to have another mother figure die when she can help her. But then Cora says something that makes Mary Margaret realize that Cora was pretending to be the Blue Fairy when she was a girl. Mary Margaret wonders if her mother was actually sick, and Cora says she actually was, but Mary Margaret realizes Cora is the cause for everything. Cora then mocks Mary Margaret about not using the candle, and Mary Margaret wants to know why Cora did all this to her. Simply put, Cora wanted to make Regina queen. It’s nothing against Mary Margaret personally. The look Mary Margaret gives Regina at this point is really interesting. Like, Mary Margaret knows how awful Cora is by reputation, but she’s never realized the extent Cora went to put her daughter on the throne. She actually looks like she feels sorry for Regina at this moment. Cora puts more salt in the wound by saying if she doesn’t give up the dagger she’ll lose another connection to her mother. David tries to convince her that they’ll still win even if Cora has the dagger. Johanna tells Mary Margaret to let her go, but watching Johanna’s reaction when Regina squeezes her heart is too much to bear. Cora is still using her mother against her and it’s getting to be too much for Mary Margaret. She throws the dagger down for Cora and is hysterically crying at this point. Regina puts Johanna’s heart back and as they go to hug Cora throws her out the clock tower. Regina makes a comment about what good gets you before she and Cora pouf away. If I was Mary Margaret I’d probably be catatonic by this point. Too many bad things have befallen her. She is hysterically crying with David trying to figure out how to care for his grief-stricken wife. Mary Margaret and David bury Johanna and Mary Margaret is blaming herself and taking stock of the situation. Following goodness has cost too many lives. She runs through all the times she did the ‘right’ thing and what it cost them in the end. David reminds her that they still have time to get the dagger before Gold gets back to town and carry out justice, but Mary Margaret doesn’t want justice. Mary Margaret says they’re always trying to get others to change, but maybe she needs to change instead. She’s going to kill Cora!

Past Cora/Cora: And speaking of Cora, we all thought she was a real piece of work in previous episodes but she’s really pulling no punches in this one. Like What The Fuck! She purposely poisoned Snow’s mother, posed as the Blue Fairy to get Snow to doubt herself, and caused Snow’s horse to spook, all in hopes of making Regina queen. I’m surprised she didn’t kill off Henry, Sr, to try and marry the king herself. She’s closer to his age than Regina was. Either way, Cora seems to have a personal vendetta against Snow’s mother. This does not seem like a random royal that Cora decided to target to make Regina the eventual queen. Especially with her comment about Snow finding out what it's like to be the miller’s daughter and then saying she’s going to turn Snow’s heart black as coal and ruin the queen’s legacy. That is some pure rage right there.

Cora will do anything to get the Dark One dagger. She may have been playing the doting mother to Regina in the past few episodes, but she’s showing her true colors in this one. She and Regina discover that the location of the dagger is not where the map says it is. Cora says she can find it, it’ll just take a little longer. Cora and Regina manage to find it right when Mary Margaret and David find it in the clock tower. Cora conjures up Johanna as incentive for Mary Margaret to give her the dagger. Cora lets Mary Margaret know that it’s not good or evil that wins, but who has the power. David attempts to shoot Cora, but she magics his gun away (never bring a gun to a witch fight). Cora tells Mary Margaret to surrender the dagger because she’ll follow her mother’s advice at all cost since all she ever wanted was for her to be good. Mary Margaret realizes that’s what she said to the Blue Fairy and that the Blue Fairy was actually Cora. Cora does not deny it. In fact, she revels in this secret finally coming to light. All she wanted was for her daughter to be queen, and she’d do anything to make sure that happened. Cora uses manipulation to eventually get Mary Margaret to give up the dagger (using her mother and Johanna’s connection to her), and then Cora kills Johanna anyway, because she simply doesn’t care about anyone but herself. She and Regina pouf away. At Regina’s office, Regina is upset that Cora never told her what she did to make her queen. I mean, to be fair, young Regina would’ve been horrified to find out what her mother did, and since Regina banished her to Wonderland before the wedding, there was never really a chance for her to find out. Cora just brushes it off. She knows now. Regina also realizes that Cora set up Snow so that Regina would rescue her. Cora wonders what this means to Regina, now that she knows. Regina says it means Cora won, so what does she need the dagger for? Cora says she’s still all about helping Regina get Henry, and that by the time Gold returns, Mary Margaret, David, Emma will be a distant memory (what does that mean?). Cora strokes the dagger lovingly, which does not go unnoticed by Regina.

Regina: She is blindly following her mother which is really bad. I know part of it is that she’s finally feeling like her mother is taking an interest in her and not just using her for her own agenda, but by the end she���s starting to wonder if she’s wrong about that. We start with Regina digging where Hook told them the dagger would be. Regina doesn’t seem to be able to find it and Cora immediately wonders if Regina read the map right. They determine that Hook gave them the wrong location. Regina is frustrated but Cora says she can figure it out given time. Regina goes to meet Mary Margaret and assumes it’s about Henry. It’s not. Mary Margaret comes right out and tells her she knows she’s working with Cora and that they’re looking for the dagger. Regina immediately gets defensive and tells Mary Margaret what she does is her business. Mary Margaret tells her she’s willing to give her another chance to fight for the side of good. Regina is not having this conversation again. She thinks maybe she is good and it’s because of Mary Margaret that she’s known as evil, since she apparently added that to her name. Mary Margaret says the things Regina does are not good. Regina’s pissed because she tried to change, but all it got her was a bunch of people who were certain she couldn’t. She tells Mary Margaret to stay out of her way. Mary Margaret tries once more by telling Regina that listening to Cora is a mistake. Cora doesn’t care about Henry, just power and Regina says that power is how you get things. Mary Margaret says that Cora doesn’t care about Regina and Regina asks her what she knows about mothers. Way harsh, Regina. Cora and Regina show up at the clock tower at the same time Mary Margaret and David find the dagger. Regina follows her mother’s orders, taking Johanna’s heart so Mary Margaret will give up the dagger. When she finds out that Cora poisoned Mary Margaret’s mother and did it all to make her queen, the expression on her face is heartbreaking. You can see that she is struggling to come to terms with what her mother did while still maintaining the facade of being united with her mother. But she is shocked by this new information. The lengths her mother went through to make her queen. She later confronts her about this in her office. Notice how Cora takes the position of power by sitting at the desk. Regina figures out that Cora was also responsible for Snow’s horse spooking, setting her whole future trajectory (remember, she had asked her if she had anything to do with it in The Stable Boy and Cora had denied it). Regina says she won by making her queen, since that was what Cora always wanted for her. So what will having the dagger accomplish, especially since David and Mary Margaret now know they have it and they can’t make Gold kill everyone without blame? Cora basically says to trust her as she strokes the dagger, and Regina’s face definitely conveys that maybe Mary Margaret was right and Cora doesn’t care for her or Henry.

Emma/Neal/Gold: She and Gold are keeping their distance from Henry and Neal, as they are both mad at each of them. Emma is beating herself up over lying to Henry about Neal. Gold is confident that Henry will forgive her. Gold wants Emma to convince Neal to come back to Storybrooke with them. She says she already gave him his favor, but he says she’ll do it for Henry because he’ll want to get to know his father (and so he doesn’t run away to NYC like he did to Boston to find her). Emma says Henry will be happy with Neal until he lets Henry down, and she knows he will. Then he’ll understand that she lied to protect him. Gold compares her to Regina. Um, no. Regina lied to protect herself. She made Henry think he was crazy and insane. That is not what Emma is doing. Emma doesn’t feel like this is what she is doing either. Gold says she lied to protect herself. He says she wants a second chance with Neal, and no, ew, no. Emma cannot have carefully constructed these walls to want to get back with the guy who framed her and put her in jail. I don’t care what his reasoning was. Emma wants to know why Gold would think she’d want to get back together with Neal, and he says it’s the look on her face. Are we seeing the same look? I’m seeing a ‘I wouldn’t let that guy touch me again with a 10 foot pole look’, but apparently Gold is seeing, ‘How did you guess I secretly still desire my ex.’ Henry and Neal come back out with pizza and Emma asks Henry if he likes it, and he says he does, because it doesn’t lie. And poor Emma’s face just falls. Emma subtly talks to Neal about coming back to Storybrooke. Like how was Neal expecting this to work out? Henry has school and a family in Storybrooke. He can’t just stay in New York. Emma thinks from Neal’s apartment that he doesn’t have much going on, but Neal says looks can be deceiving. He tries to tell her something, but gets interrupted by Henry wanting to go on the subway. Neal and Henry go back up to the apartment to get Henry’s camera while Emma and Gold wait down by the buzzers, and Hook decides to attack right at that moment, stabbing Gold with his hook. While Hook villain monologues to Gold, Emma hits him on the head with the trash can. Neal comes down concerned and Emma tells him an old enemy found them. Neal recognizes Hook which surprises Emma. Neal gets Gold up to his apartment while Emma locks Hook up in a storage closet (should I be keeping a tally of how many times Hook has been bested since meeting Emma?). Emma says he had a map on him which means he sailed his ship into NY. She tells Neal it was cloaked when he wonders how he was able to do that. Henry is worried about Gold and goes to ask him if he’s alright (um, no, he just got a hook in the chest), but Gold goes all feral on him and blames him for the whole thing. Is Gold blaming him for coming back for his camera right then, or for bringing them to NYC in the first place? Because Hook would have waited until they got back and attacked him regardless. Neal wants to take Gold to the ER but Gold has figured out there was poison from another realm on Hook’s hook and he needs to get back to Storybrooke because there’s magic there. Neal suggests driving there, but Gold needs to get there fast, so he says they need to take the Jolly Roger. Emma doesn’t know how they’ll do that without a captain, but Neal says he can sail it. Gold realizes what that means, but Emma is still questioning how he knows how to sail a pirate ship. Emma wants to know how Neal knows Hook. Long story short, our world wasn’t his first and he’d be a couple hundred years old if he’d come straight here. Emma is trying to process the information that not only is Henry’s father from the Enchanted Forest, but is also a couple hundred years old. Emma’s phone finally charges back up and she sees texts from Mary Margaret and David. Emma tells Gold that Cora is after his dagger, and he doesn’t want to give up the location, but she emphasizes that they’re family now, so he needs to trust them. Neal and Emma go to get the car that will take them to the ship. Emma is surprised that Neal is doing so much for Gold, but Neal says there’s a difference between running from someone and watching them die.  He still doesn’t think reconciliation is possible. They get to a car and Emma hopes he isn’t going to hotwire it like back in the day, but he says it belongs to a friend. Neal wants to quickly get back to the conversation they were having before (and Emma seems a little nervous about it, like maybe he’s going to talk about getting back together), but now they’re interrupted by the person who owns the car and who is also Neal’s fiance, Tamara. Emma tries to keep a neutral face, but you can see there’s something else going on behind the mask she puts up. I’m hoping it’s relief that Neal won’t try to get back with her. I’ll even be happy with shock that Neal cleaned his life up enough that he found a woman willing to look over his conniving ways. I might be vomiting if it’s sadness that she can’t get back together with Neal.

Questions:

What seems more plausible: Hook lied about the location of the dagger before he knew Cora was going to betray him, or Gold hid it again before he left town because Belle could no longer protect it in her amnesiac state?

Why is Regina digging to find the dagger? Can’t she or Cora just use magic to get it out of the ground (if it had been there)?

Why hasn’t Emma filled in the pieces to Henry about Neal? He already knows she was in jail and that he was born there. Has Henry not figured out that Emma and Neal were separated right before she went to jail? Shouldn’t Emma tell him why she went to jail in the first place? Or is she doing the ‘noble’ thing and letting Henry make his own judgements about Neal?

Why is the queen’s bedroom at the end of a large hallway with no doors? 

How is the cloaking magic on the Jolly Roger still working outside of Storybrooke?

We know that the Blue Fairy was Cora in disguise, but was Cora disguised as Johanna as well? How else would Cora know to pretend to be the Blue Fairy if she hadn’t put the idea in Snow’s head?

What would happen to the Gold’s power if he died of natural causes?

Where did Johanna come from in the scene where the queen dies? There is no one next to Snow and then Johanna is right there in the next scene.

Why did they hold the queen’s funeral before the king came home? Who made the arrangements?

Observations:

The flowers Johanna is planting and that Snow leaves on her mother’s body are snowdrops.

When Johanna calls Mary Margaret, Snow, she tells her she goes by Mary Margaret in Storybrooke.

Snow was born during the harshest winter, hence why she was named Snow.

I know that the fashions in the Enchanted Forest aren’t equivalent to the ones on Earth, but the queen is wearing a dress that is more Dark Ages, and Snow’s big fluffy skirt is more Restoration, which is a good 300-400 years apart.

The queen never makes Snow apologize to Johanna.

Snow was so named because she was born in the harshest winter.

Regina is doing all the digging in the forest, Cora is apparently just supervising.

Henry has gone back to calling Emma by her name instead of mom.

Well, Neal has finally confirmed that he went to another realm first (most likely Neverland), and that he’d be a few hundred years old if he had (you’re still a few hundred years old technically). Which also means that Rumplestiltskin and Hook are a few hundred years old as well.

Regina’s horse is named Rociante which is the name of the horse in the novel Don Quixote.

Timeline Issues:

How did it become winter already? We established in Child of the Moon that it was most likely May (based on when sunset was). Into the Deep and Queen of Hearts both took place a few days after that. The Cricket Game was maybe a week later, so we’re into June now. The Outsider was also maybe a week later with In the Name of the Brother, Tiny, and Manhattan all taking place within a day or two. At the most, we could possibly be in July. But Johanna makes reference to Snow being born in the harshest winter and it’s currently Mary Margaret’s birthday, so unless they’re celebrating Mary Margaret’s cursed birthday, the timing doesn’t make sense (and I don’t think Johanna would know Mary Margaret’s cursed birthday, especially since she didn’t know her cursed name). Also, there is absolutely no snow on the ground and there would definitely be snow in Maine during winter time. According to Google, Maine gets snow regularly between November and February.

So, that was that. Cora has always been a manipulative bitch, she’s just more crafty and cunning than we gave her credit for. Regina is beginning to have doubts because of all the secrets Cora is keeping and because she can see her mother admiring the dagger and it’s power. Mary Margaret is keeping with the tradition of having mother figures die on or around her birthday. And Emma, Neal, Henry, and Gold will soon be on their way back to Storybrooke on the Jolly Roger.

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[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333

[alias-b]

Without The Lights~ Billy Hargrove x OC Camille Harper

Chapter 7: Every Breath You Take

A/N: The Snow Ball was so much fun to write. :) Camille hands Billy his ass this chapter after he fucked up at the Byers’ House. I stan a queen. Also rereading Hopper’s first impression of Billy is basically “who the f* is this ugly dumbass?” and it still kills me

  The party came back together again in the shambles of Joyce’s yard. Thankful words and hugs were shared between them. They took soft beats to relax again. To appreciate the gifts of life and friendship.

  “Uh, who the hell is this drooling kid in the Camaro?” Hopper broke the moment when he peered into the car to see Billy with his mouth open, still passed out in back. "Was he even here before? Am I losing track of you guys already?"

  “That’s the new Keg King, Chief.” Steve began, touching his cut lip. “All hail.”

  “My stupid brother.” Max shrugged, gesturing to Camille. “Her stupid boyfriend.”

  “Not even close.” Camille decided, draping Billy’s jacket over his torso as if to tuck him in there. “He attacked us looking for Max. We kind of had to…maybe drug him. Just a little. He’ll be fine. Don't even worry.”

  “You, what?” Jim spun on his heel so Camille touched his arm.

  “Just a little bit. He is... He was a friend and he...lost it. Also, he knows…some stuff. About me.” She clasped her hands to shrug with innocence. "He won't say anything, I'll make sure."

  “Another squirrely kid I get to keep quiet.” Jim grumbled, shutting the door to leave Billy there snoring. “Hawkins lab is finished. In this town, at least.”

  “Jonathan and I made sure of that.” Nancy came forward. Joyce and Jonathan were holding Will between them, wrapped up in blankets on the steps. His friends crowded.

  “And my mother?” Camille lifted her eyes.

  “We can get you out of there.” Jim nodded but, instead she frowned. He realized it then. Camille noted he seemed truly disappointed. “You’re going back.”

  “I have to go back. I have to finish this part. My father is dead. Hawkins lab will be gone. Mostly. Gate’s closed. I’m not leaving that house until I have everything I need. I don’t think it’s safe still. Just as you said, I can’t make waves. I have to pretend. Have to go along with whatever half-baked story we have now.” She was stern. “It’s going to crush her. My mom. Fake mom. There are people out there who could come after us still. I have to play house. If I'm unaware, they might think they're safe. Experiment can continue. Just a bit longer.” Camille held herself and Hopper dropped his hand when she went around him. “I’d like to know you better, El.” The little girl reached to take her wrist, nodding. They went up the steps into the house together to begin sharing.

** ** **

  “Still asleep back there?” Camille drove Billy’s car up to a cliff overlooking Hawkins. The sun would rise soon. A brand new day. A brave new world. Max turned and nodded. Steve drove his own car behind them.

  “He’s out but…moving.” Max looked up, buckled in next to her. “Sorry.”

  “Not your fault.” Camille stopped the car and turned to get into the back. "Billy." She shook him, rousing him further. Billy hitched a moan, eyes glazed when they opened. His head and neck both ached something awful. Camille was in his blurry line of sight. Soft again. Face cleaned. She took the time to wipe drool and blood from his chin with an old t-shirt on the seat.

  "C-Cam...ille." His tongue slurred, trying to function.

  “Hey, you.” She'd eased. Steve’s car came up along side them to park. Billy saw her clearly and gave a jerk, lifting his now bound hands.

  "The fuck?" He'd mouthed.

  "Don't worry about those, sit still for a sec so we can talk. You attacked us. Do you remember everything? Don't lie.” His bright eyes darted across her face. “Nod.”

  “Yes.” The tone scratched. Eyes huge. He tried to take in the surroundings all at once, licking his lips to wet them. “Untie me.”

  “I have something to say to you first. Few things I just need you to hear.” Camille brought her legs up to the seat, arm propped by his head. Delicate fingers tucked a loose curl from his temple. “You look nice. Devil's pride nice. The cologne is to die for. You know, I had a whole outfit planned. I think you would have liked it too." She sounded wistful. "First, you’re not going to talk about anything you saw. There are people out there who will kill us. They'll come for you too if you make a mess. Nod.”

  “Camille.” Billy squirmed in the seat belt.

  “Nod.” She ordered again so he did. Max watched from the front seat.

  “Second. You’re…You are not a good person, Billy.” She saw him glance away, groaning before he tried to sit up. Her finger tipped his chin so he was looking at her eyes again. “Maybe I’m not either some days. What you’ve done is…disgusting. You disgust me. What you did tonight. Attacking Steve and…Lucas. A child. Don’t think I also didn’t notice how you targeted a young boy with dark skin. You probably didn’t realize that at all too but we did. Interesting how parents rub off on us without us realizing it until we're spitting their venom.”

  “It’s not like that. They-”

  “Not like that? I'm sure. Do you think it matters? Intentions? We notice shit. And now you know because your greedy Jew whore told you. As if I haven’t gotten that ever. Do you really want to look back and remember how your father’s words sounded coming out of you’re mouth? How they tasted? I know you, Billy. Well enough. He is awful to you and I know you’re in so much pain. But, to use that to cause pain to others. That ugly shit doesn't fly. Life is a god damn pain and there are people out there hellbent on making it worse. I'm not sure why you're fine being one of them.”

  “Please-” His eyes crushed shut, teeth clenched.

  “But, I know there is a little girl in that house that needs protection too and you could give her what your father never gave you. Do you realize that? That’s a chance you wasted.” Camille gestured to Max. “You both could spit Neil’s terrible words back in his face by being better. You think Max would let you do that alone if you tried just once to love her? Tried to be a brother. Didn't bother to try. You’re gorgeous but now…I see you. I see you for what you are.” Billy let tears fall. Just a few. Exhausted. Teetering. Torn to shreds. Utterly wounded. Camille was gentle when she wiped them. Harsh and truthful. Unworried. Explicitly tender to break through Neil's rough conditioning.

  “I-”

  “You know, I watched my father die tonight and…what’s terrifying is that I’m most upset about all the things I never got to say. The answers he took with him. The fact that there had to be something flickering in him that loved me back and it wasn’t enough. This father who chased my monsters away turned out to be one himself. He hoarded me from them to keep me all for him. I was a beloved family hamster in a wheel and I'm fucking done with it all. But, the loss of my father. I know that I’ll live. The fact that I let him die…I think I’ll forgive myself for that too. Little by little.” Camille's eyes welled and he just watched her expression. Impossibly still.

  “Billy…” Max sighed then. “I know you miss your mom. And California. And everything. You think I don’t miss it too? You think I want to see my mom cower from him? She can’t replace your mom but she can care about you. I just… I miss it all. I hate it. I hate it but, I don’t hate you. You're an asshole but, I don't hate you. I’m angry too, you know. I can’t…fix any of it.” Billy’s eyes slid to her carefully then panned to focus on Camille.

  “I know what I said. You are not a good person, Billy Hargrove. You are a bully. You’re lost. You’re abusive and too damn young and above all that shit, you are better than that. You're a fucking asshole but, I'm telling you right now that you can be better. Maybe Neil neglected that fact. But, is being him and completing the cycle the future you want? I think you just needed to hear it. From a friend. You want to waste that, it's no one's fault but your own. But, right now, the only thing I can give you is pity. Nothing else. It’s on you. Awful or not, you can still do good things. Maybe they won’t forgive you in a million years but you can still do good things despite it. Scariest thing about humans, I think. A choice like that in a world so fucking messed up. I just want to be brave and be happy again. With some help from my friends, I think I can do that. But, you know, we’re just kids still…we have a lot of time to grow and I don’t want to waste it anymore. I truly wish that you don’t either one day. People are liars and bullies…and some grow out of it. Maybe you’ll try. It’s on your shoulders and…I hated myself once and I was a damn bitch and a coward but…I think I’m going to keep trying to be more that that. I hope it works out for both of us. Goodbye, Billy. See you around school.”

  “Let’s go.” Max opened the door when Camille cut Billy’s ropes and dropped his keys in his hand.

  "That's all I had to say." Camille shrugged and slid to leave.

  “I can’t…” Billy lowered his head, near silent. “I can’t go home without Max.”

  “Steve and I will take her home. She already called to check in. Covered for you too. Because she’s a good sister. You can follow us. I just don’t think she’s safe to be with you right now. Change our mind.” Camille watched his face, those trembling lips, before she got out to get into Steve’s car. They drove back in silence. Camille opened the door to hug Max tight when Billy emerged to park. She turned to go but he stopped her quietly.

  “Camille.” He tried not to beg. Voice grounded and low. “Let me show you something before you leave.” She debated it and nodded to Steve, turning. Max raced up the steps to go in first, hurrying to see her parents in their room. Camille clasped her hands and Billy walked her down the hall in silence. Didn't try to touch her or invade her space.

  “This was for you. Had to ask the guy which one it was. Stupid thing is dying already.” A pink peony. Beginning to wilt. Two fingers offered it so she took it from him, nodding.

  "They do that when they're cut from their home." She began, eyes trained on his when she touched the soft petals to her nose and lips to inhale. "Little attention and care though, they can make it farther. You stop dragging your feet and put in the work."

  “One more thing. I lied to you.”

  “About?” She watched him lift his mattress and pull an old, tattered photo out. Tentative, he entered her space to show her. A woman in a long sundress grinning with a young boy next to her. He had a toothy smile and surfboard in hand. The beach behind them was full and gorgeous. His mother. “She’s very beautiful. You have her eyes.” Camille lifted her gaze and he nodded, voice hushed and honest. “You look happy.”

  “I was.” He took it back when she extended it out, thumb tracing the corner. Something to show them both it was obtainable. She hesitated and offered the truth with a great belief that resonated.

  “It’s possible, I think, to get there again.” Camille touched his face and Billy let his eyes close. That too soft grain of compassion heated his skin.

  “I won’t say anything.” He whispered, sighing as she slipped away from him. Too far away.

  “Take care of Max. Take care of each other. Own your shit... And tell my friend that I miss him.” Camille paused again when he pulled his saint pendant off to offer it. “I can’t. It’s your mother’s necklace.”

  “Just watch it for your friend... Until he gets back,” Billy slipped it over her head, shifting hair aside. There it was reciprocated in one tiny flicker. Hope. She stared at him so he spoke. “Goodbye, Camille.”

  “Good luck, Billy.” Camille left the house and got into Steve’s car.

  “You okay?” He touched her shoulder while she looked outside at the brightening sky.

  “Yes.” Camille exhaled. Not red. Not at all. “Let’s go.”

** ** **

  “I can’t let you do this.” Jim Hopper shook his head.

  “She was my mother once.” Camille replied. His Blazer pulled up to her house, flocked by police cars. “We can’t do anything else. I have to be oblivious. Until it’s safe again. We went over the story several times, I got this. She won't know.”

  “I’ll watch over you, all right? You need anything, you call me first.” Camille welled up and took off her seat belt to hug him. A man who also lost too much and who was trying to make things better for a girl he barely knew in truth.

  “I’d like to see El more when I can.”

  “I’ll try to make that happen.” He followed her out and up the steps.

  “Camille! Camille!” Her sobbing mother raced outside, pushing officers aside to hold her. Camille didn’t want to crumble. Yet, it happened. She needed a mother right now. “Oh, god. Oh, my god. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t there. I will be.”

  “I know… I know.” Camille cried it out, fingers scrunching up her mom’s dress. "And Daddy..."

  "Hush, I have you. I'm so sorry, baby."

  "Milly, thank god." Edna approached and Rosemary hissed.

  “You’re fired. Leave us.”

  “You cannot do that.” Edna, for the first time, looked deadly. Cold. Camille peered to meet her eyes. Sink. “Mrs. Harper, this is not over. We both know that.”

  “It is,” Rosemary led Camille into their house, rubbing her back and cooing to calm her. “You’re all mine now, my sweet. It’s over, baby. It’s all over now.”

  Camille knew better.

** ** **

  “They boarded the whole place up today,” Nancy poked at her lunch a week later. Life continued. Mostly. Camille was met with students sorry for her loss. Hawkins Lab grasped some of the blame it was owed. School picked up again. Her mother was home almost every night for dinner. Almost. Mourning her husband even still. Her own work and grief pulled. Unknowing that Camille found out the truth. She played the part. Good daughter. “And Barb’s parents…they’re holding a funeral.”

  “I’ll be there,” Camille nodded. “How’s Mike?”

  “Frustrated. Wanting to see El again. Hopper said to give it time.” Nancy smiled when Jonathan sat down and Steve joined the table with him. “Heard that you and Dustin are best buds.”

  “I keep good company.” Steve was wistful. Accepting. A good person. “Taking him to the damn Snow Ball in style.”

  “Nancy, Jonathan, and I are all volunteering for that.” Camille smiled, she ate a meal with her friends. Queen Bee again. Freak. Camille. Lunch ended and they scattered, Camille caught up with Nancy at the door. “Want to go to the movies tomorrow?” She took her hand.

  “I’d like that.” Nancy grinned this time. Friends again. Camille missed this part most. Billy barely said two words to her when school life resumed. Leaving a space between them. Not like a gaping, endless pit. More like a cool moving river. She watched him give Max rides and scurry to class.

  They minced few syllables in chemistry, he stuck his nose elsewhere and she didn’t pry. One occasion, Billy dug into his empty bag for a pencil and Camille slid one over as if it were a peace offering. His hand slipped to take it. No words followed. She only ever spoke during labs they had to do. Aloof and even. No energy to be spent and wasted. Billy took to following her lead. A new position for him. Quiet as he did. Careful not to shatter the cracked and mending glass. He avoided Max’s space at home too. Leaving the room when she entered on occasion. Distance was better for him. So he told himself. Susan found him curled up in his room on a Saturday and he didn’t bark at her for once.

  “Max left for her friends.” She began and he sniffled. Footsteps crept closer to his bed. "It's Saturday...you're not going out?"

  “Leave me alone.” He begged instead, face muffled into a pillow. Tone changed. “Don’t tell him.”

  “I won’t.” Susan reached to touch Billy’s hair. The first time she’d ever reached out for him. He whimpered so she pulled away. “I’m making breakfast now. Omelets. Green peppers. You should come eat something, Billy. I could bring you a plate.” His head lifted at that. His favorite. She went out of her way for him.

  “Okay.” He was barely audible. She was trying. He decided to try too. When it didn't bleed, Billy let himself relax.

  “Haven’t seen that pretty girl in a while.” Susan turned. “Camille was sweet.” Billy turned his eyes, sighing out before he wiped his face. “Neil…he…he can’t say much if she comes over as a tutor instead of a friend. Just a thought.”

  “I’m not like him.” Billy paused and the realization brought him to a complete halt. “I don’t want to be.”

  “Then don’t be.” She was careful.

  “What he thinks about certain people. I don’t think that. I don’t. I didn’t…know. Fuck.” Billy clenched with tears, pressing the pillow closer while he faced the wall still so she wouldn’t see him. “Do I? Dad wants me to be... But, I'm so fucking...tired. I hurt people. I hurt Camille. She... What if I’m already like him and I can’t…I can’t fix it.”

  “Do you think he ever stayed in on a Saturday and stopped to ask himself these questions?” Susan was honest at last and Billy felt his heart give a great shudder. There was a beat.

  “I’m sorry, Susan.” His simple, raw words stilled her entire world. “Bout…my dad...and me.”

  “You can give Max a ride to the Snow Ball.” She replied, earning a nod. “Thank you, Billy.”

** ** **

  “Hey, Harper!” Chief Hopper pulled up to the school before Camille could get into her car. One month later. Time didn’t heal all wounds but it was a start.

  “Am I in trouble, Chief?” She approached with a grin.

  “Maybe,” he chuckled. “Need a favor. I have an address and I need you to bring some items to it in the next two hours. I’d appreciate it.”

  “Oh, you have a mission for me?” Camille clasped her hands.

  “Your biggest one yet.” Jim beckoned her to the window. Camille raced down the road an hour later. Dressed to help at the dance. Excited, she tapped the steering wheel. Snow trickled down in little flurries, barely sticking. She thought of her mother. Holidays to be spent alone this year. Her father was buried. Rosemary still played the game of house and Camille with her. She never broke down. Not once. When would the right time emerge? Still, she was contented to be with her friends. Pulling up to a cabin, she got out and craned her next. Eleven ran down the steps in flannel with Jim behind her. They hugged and she pulled back.

  “I missed you.” Camille came to her level. “I may have brought too much.”

  “What the hell…” Jim watched her heave a whole trunk from the backseat. “Seriously?”

  “Girls like options, Jim.”

  “Yeah, we like options,” El agreed and he rubbed his face. Camille lifted her hand, teetering before the trunk came up. Eleven helped, arm out and they beamed.

  “Okay, cool it with that.” Hopper followed them back in. El opened the trunk to see clothing. Nothing she’d ever worn.

  “Old stuff. Should fit her, I was about her size at that age.” Camille smiled. “Hair first then makeup. Ready?” Eleven grinned now. Sister. A long lost sister.

  “Yes.”

** ** **

  Sparkling lights played off the winter decorations. Music echoed into the auditorium while awkward children roamed. Camille poured punch with Nancy, setting cups upon the table. Across from them, Jonathan took photos, waving at the two girls.

  “Want to come over for our Christmas dinner? The boys and Max are going to bring toys that night, play some D&D. Mom has like twenty desserts planned.”

  “We could dust off some old costumes.” Camille giggled. “I’ll convince Hopper to bring El over.”

  “How’s Rosemary?”

  “Sad. Still working by force. It’s just us now. We care for the house and…it feels normal. No one came for me. Not yet. I can’t…read her all the time.” She sighed. “Hopper offered me a place when…if things go sour. I know it’ll come out one day. I think I’m looking for something first. Something inside her. Just to see if it’s there. Can't find it in dad anymore after what I did. She knew where I came from. She knew and had a huge part in it. She tried to make amends. Even if it was sick. And if I make noise…”

  “I hope you find it. Whatever you need.” Nancy offered. Across from them, Dustin entered with a style dressed similar to Steve’s. Hair and all. “Oh, my god.”

  “Aw, can we keep him?” Camille touched her heart. “Precious thing.”

  “Ladies,” Dustin passed.

  “Hey,” Nancy spoke as he went to greet Mike and them.

  “Max,” Camille stopped to hug her. “Pants? How edgy of you.”

  “Mom did this to my hair,” she grumbled.

  “You look great. Promise. How are things?”

  “Quieter.” Max nodded, eyes brightening. “Nice.”

  “Good,” Camille gestured. “I won’t keep you, go have fun.” Max hurried away and they poured more punch. Fixed up the table. Enjoyed the night. Another song started and couples came together. Max and Lucas joined them. “Remember when it was that easy, Nance?”

  “Was it ever?”

  “I try to think it was,” she joked. “Uh, oh, check my three o’clock. Boy down. Mayday.” They watched Dustin try to ask girls to dance and get brushed off. He looked crestfallen. “I’m going in, cover me.” Camille followed Dustin to the bleachers while he sniffled. “Hey, Dusty.”

  “Cam…Camille,” he hurried to wipe his face and she sat down. The most popular girl in her school smiled at him. Other kids took note.

  “Not giving up already, are you?”

  “Ngh…no.”

  “Good, because the Dustin I know faces all frights head on. Especially when one of the party needs assistance.” She crossed her arms over her knees and nudged him with her shoulder, he brightened just a little at that. “A very wise kid taught me that after he roped me into monster hunting. I used to help babysit him.” She kissed his cheek, earning a smile and Nancy paced over.

  “Wanna dance?” She put her hand out.

  “Uh, Nance, I’m talking with Dusty here.”

  “Snooze, you lose, Cam.” Nancy took Dustin away and Camille laughed after them, shaking her head before she stood up and watched the couples move. Heels clicked while she made her way back only for Max to stop her, hand in Lucas’s.

  “By the way,” she began, “he’s outside.” Camille turned, arms crossing. “Just in case you needed that information.” Max pressed a sort of half smile and went back to the floor. Another song bloomed when she decided and headed out. Eleven appeared at the same time, nervous and looking around.

  “You look amazing,” Camille touched her shoulder. “Own it, it’s your night.” Eleven spotted Mike standing and crossed over to see him. Heading outside, the air chilled when Camille saw Joyce and Hopper waiting together.

  “Ms. Harper. Up to no good?” The Chief regarded her.

  “Me? Never.” She batted her lashes and smiled at Joyce. “They’re having fun in there.”

  “They needed it.” She agreed.

  “I hope you’re well too.”

  “Thank you, Camille. You take care.”

  “Just where are you headed?” Hopper added, lighting up a cigarette.

  “Oh, I…” The teen regarded them. “I was just…uh, going for a walk. There are way too many hairspray fumes in there. Not good for the brain. Why are you two here, huh?"

  "Just friends." Hopper was too quick.

  "Right…so…bye now and mind your business, Chief.” Camille smirked and Jim scoffed with amusement. She hurried off before they could question it further, rubbing her arms for warmth. Camille spotted that familiar blue Camaro up the hill, parked off to the side under the stars. Billy took some time to look at them, half seated on the hood with a cigarette between two fingers.

  “Look nice, do they? Finally taking the time to see them.” She watched him snap to focus on her. Blue eyes awed and looking her up and down once. Lips parted to mouth her name, too scared to offer it to the cool night air. A beat lingered.

  “Harpy. You clean up nice. Devil's pride nice.” He didn’t move an inch more so she paced around the car toward him, standing a few feet away. Pretenses lowered.

  “You feel like sharing that?” She shrugged and he flicked ashes aside, lifting his hand to offer it. No interest in going home as usual. The company was well received. Camille joined him against the hood, smoke slipped from her lips. Billy stared for a quiet moment when she instead looked up at the sky. A slight hum of contemplation sounded. She exhaled and gave a soft shudder against the cold weather. "Not a bad view from manure land. Not one bit." Billy agreed with that, eyes direct on her. Shifting, he shrugged off his jacket. That brown leather bomber she loved. Camille offered him the smoke back so he put it between his teeth and helped her into the coat. Music was still echoing soft in the distance. “You know, I got a strange call from a concerned stepmother a few days ago.”

  “What?” Smoke billowed out soft lips.

  “Had a few things to say. Good things. Hopeful things.” Camille took the cigarette again to inhale. Her nerves subsided. Billy studied her face and panned to see the stars again. “Nothing red in sight today, huh?” Silent, he agreed again, finishing the last drag before crushing it under his boot.

  “What did she tell you?” He puffed slower.

  “That you’re still angry a lot. Naturally. And sad. And quiet. Extremely quiet. That you take Max to the arcade almost every day when needed and you pick her up. That a mysterious new skateboard appeared in Max’s room…"

  "This fucking asshole ran over the old one with a Camaro."

  "I'm sure... She also mentioned that green peppers solve just about everything.” She chuckled and Billy turned his head when his lip quirked. “That you avoid Max but you don’t lash out like you used to. That Neil hasn't stopped despite it all. And when your Camaro had a recent engine problem, your sister was out there silently passing you tools to fix it. You let her do that. Progress. Always happens in small bouts if we stop to notice them. She also invited me to dinner Wednesday. Said your dad would be working late.”

  “Haven’t heard that one.” He lifted his eyes.

  “You’re having pot roast.” Susan was not his mother. But, she cared.

  “She always burns the damn edges,” he joked, softening. Camille shifted to brace her hand back and covered his.

  “I want to try something.” These syllables always brought stillness to his world. She tugged once without fear and he stood up with her. Camille guided his hands to her waist, shifting to touch his shoulders.

  “Never been to a school dance. Just hit the parties after.”

  “Smart. And it’s easy,” she watched his eyes flicker to the pendant hanging from her neck. Gentle hands clasped behind his shoulders and she swayed to the music in the distance, bringing him with her. “You haven’t lived until Hawkins High prom season starts.”

  “Think this year will hurt your chances as prom queen when we’re seniors?” He cocked his head as they turned and she shrugged. Glowing. Beautiful.

  “Ah, I guess we’ll see.” Camille watched his eyes, something connected again. Small but still there. Billy swayed closer until her head came to his collar. Two hands laced. Her arm went around his shoulders and he slipped one hand along the small of her back. The dance continued. Perfume invaded his senses so he closed his eyes. “I really did miss my friend, you know? Tell him that again for me.” Friend. Billy felt himself smile. Only slight. This amazing chance she'd offered without fear or anguish would not be wasted.

  “I’ll let him know,” he nudged his head into her own. There it was again. The pull that things might turn out fine. Or something close to it. The belief that they both deserved better here. The song ended for another and they stayed there in place. Camille inhaled and came up to see his blue eyes in the moonlight.

  “I have to get back.” She whispered against him, slipping away yet again. Cool and light. Hope filled the river that ran between them.

  “Keep the jacket.” He winked and she sucked in her cheeks, hugging it closer. “See you around, Harpy.” Camille shifted down the hill, spinning on her heel to see him as she went. Her luminous smile resonated.

  “Be kind to yourself, Billy.”

** ** **

  “How was the dance?” Rosemary busied with a new drawing when Camille came into her studio.

  “They had fun.” She stayed at the door until the older woman looked up.

  “Lawyer and I got your father’s affairs in order finally.” She went on. “We’ll be fine. I’ll try to be home as much as I can but with him gone…”

  “I get it,” Camille held Billy’s jacket around herself. "I'm sorry." The words just came, eyes welling.

  "About what, sweetie?"

  "Just..."

  "He loved you so much, you know. I love you, I always will. You and I will make it. We will be just fine. We have each other." Her mother pressed her lips. Camille felt guilt and shame pool. But, not all over Noah. He made his bed. She tried to tell herself that. The shame that this was not enough. That it never would be. That the reality of it all was too ugly and that ugliness could rub off on her. That the cycle was not broken.

  "Just...sorry." Camille would find what she needed another day. Her heart stilled. Tried to be brave. Rosemary looked at her eyes. There had to be something. Anything. She hadn’t kicked Camille out or given her to enemies in the distance who would love to study her.

  “We have a long supply of your medication as well.”

  “Oh?” Camille flushed them each day. “Good.”

  “Our party this year will likely not be happening. But, we can still do gifts and candles. Chinese for Christmas morning before my flight?”

  “Definitely… Nancy invited me over after. Almost everyone’s getting together. Heather went on some ski trip for winter break.”

  “I’ll be out around New Years time. Will you be alright here alone, Camille?”

  “I’m not alone.” Camille admitted, lips lifting because saying it with such conviction felt amazing. “I never was.” She turned without explaining to go up to her room for the night. Billy’s jacket hung over the vanity mirror. Her hand gripped a little crochet doll before she was lulled off to sleep.

  Hope made the world less red.

[megalony]

Genetic disorder- Part 3

This is the third part of my latest dad! Ben series which I hope you are all enjoying so far.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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"Ben, what's wrong?" There was caution in (Y/n)'s voice as she walked into the shared room. Unsure whether to approach him or to stay where she was near to the door.

When she realised he was crying she quickly advanced towards him, slowly going down on her knees in front of him. He was sitting on the end of the bed, his elbows propped on his knees as his head was buried in his hands. One of his knees was jittering up and down uncontrollably and his fingers were digging into his scalp and pulling at his hair.

(Y/n) lightly pressed her hands to his legs, rubbing over his jeans as she tried to calm Ben down and get him to look at her but he froze. She noticed his arm jolt like he wanted to push her away but he tensed the limb so it didn't move, trying to control the anger riling through him.  He didn't want to lash out at her but at the same time, he didn't want her going near his hip or his thigh that was now playing up. He knew she realised what was wrong when her hands left his legs and moved to his hands instead.

"Ben... talk to me, what's wrong?" (Y/n) spoke quietly as she gently lowered his hands so he was looking at her.

Noticing his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot and his face was beginning to blotch red from the tears and the blood rushing to the surface. She had a good idea of what was angering him but he had to tell her what specifically was wrong. It could be that he was just in pain and couldn't cope, it could be a rush of emotions or a new symptom or a new source of pain. (Y/n) couldn't try and help or understand if she didn't know what the problem was.

"My hips getting worse." He spoke slowly and quietly but there was something in his voice that (Y/n) hadn't heard before. It was dark, something beyond anger, verging on hatred.

"You mean the pain-"

"No." He tried hard not to snap but he couldn't seem to help it. The pain wasn't what was getting to him, it was what was physically happening to him that made him want to scream but he couldn't because of the kids. He couldn't lash out and hit the wall or smash a plate or kick something or shout until he ran out of air. Ben couldn't let out the frustrated emotions he was holding inside and it made him feel worse.

He motioned for (Y/n) to move so he could stand up and even then she noticed the way he gritted his teeth. If getting up caused pain, how on Earth was he going to get through his movie he was filming?

Ben felt his breaths hitching in his throat as he tried to stay calm but couldn't seem to help it. He tipped his head down, trying to ignore the feeling of (Y/n)'s gaze burning into him as she watched him in silence, unsure what he was doing. Ben had to take a moment to control the sudden shaking in his hands as he undid the buckle of the belt that was keeping his jeans in place on his hips. He knew he wasn't making sense but he couldn't verbalise what the problem was.

The anger in his eyes seemed to seep into his features that were turning to stone as (Y/n) could see him biting down hard on his lower lip. Her brows rose as she watched him take off the plain white shirt he had been wearing before he motioned to his jeans. Waiting silently to see if his wife could see what he was so angry about. He moved his hands to the back of his neck, scratching at the skin to try and drag his mind away from the dull pain and to allow (Y/n) to see the problem that he could tell she wasn't sure about.

"Sweetheart..." (Y/n) trailed off, a pleading look in her eyes telling Ben she had to have a clue. She didn't know what she was meant to be looking at.

She saw that his jeans were hanging low on his hips but those were the jeans he always had hanging low, he simply pulled the belt a bit higher so it didn't crush his hips. She could see the waistband of his boxers too but she didn't know what the problem was.

"Do you think they fit?" There was a cynical tone to Ben's voice as he seemed to be daring her. Begging for her to get the wrong answer so he could correct her.

Her eyes darted back down to his jeans, scrutinising the fabric that she knew was a newer pair of jeans as opposed to the old ones he almost put holes in with how many times he had worn them. Something told (Y/n) if she gave the right answer he still wouldn't be happy, the problem clearly was his disorder and his hips so she didn't see what that had to do with his jeans.

"Um, they're a bit loose-" (Y/n) cut herself off when Ben laughed. It was a short, sarcastic sound that made her hold her breath because she knew she gave the answer he wasn't looking for.

"They're loose on one fucking side." Ben grabbed the hem of the jeans on his right side and pulled it up before letting the fabric drop down just a bit lower to reveal his hip and boxers. They fit Ben on the left side but on the right, they were ever so slightly too baggy. These weren't jeans he had bought without trying on either, he had gotten them a while ago but they were the newest pair he owned and he had worn them before so he knew they had fitted him perfectly fine.

Now (Y/n) could partially see his problem.

Ben had been going to the gym more when he got the role for a film that meant he got an action role where he could show off his athletic skills. (Y/n) was married to Ben and she saw him almost every day so she could see any physical changes in him. She noticed the slight changes in his shape but he was shaping up not getting thinner. He had broad shoulders anyway, a toned chest and stomach and he had thick thighs. That meant his hips were slightly thicker as well it was just his shape.

Jeans that were Ben's length and width never fit loosely on him. Jeans were often tight around his thighs and he only wore a belt to make sure they sat on his hips because the waistband was usually a bit looser than the legs.

"I'm losing muscle mass like the doctor said I would. My hip is getting weaker and I'm in a film where I have to run and do stunts."

When (Y/n) slowly moved so she was standing in front of him, Ben pushed his jeans down so she could inspect his hips, clearly not believing this was happening to him. He watched her eyes dart between his hips to try and tell him he was wrong but she found she couldn't. It was nothing that would be noticed from afar or if you didn't know what you were looking for. But as (Y/n) looked at his right hip she did see that the bone was just that bit more visible through his boxers than it normally was and the side of his hip was thinner.

Her hands started to shake as she very lightly placed her hands on his hips. (Y/n) felt Ben tense as his breathing stuttered, his eyes burning into her own as he looked broken.

(Y/n) slowly moved her hands up and down his hips to tell the difference but she froze when Ben grabbed her hands. For a split second, she thought he was going to pull her away but he took her by surprise and pressed her palms tightly against his hips. He didn't care if it hurt, he wanted her to see the difference he had noticed. To see why he was crying and why his mental state was breaking down.

Ben put a lot of effort into trying to stay fit and build his body and frame into a way that made him happy. He didn't expect to build his frame and have his body suddenly decide it didn't want that body mass anymore. He wasn't prepared for his body to suddenly cut down on the muscles that were weakening.

He stupidly thought that he could make his muscles a little better or work for longer if he tried to continue with his workout routine and continue to build and maintain his muscles. But it seemed whatever Ben did, the disorder was going to run ramped through his body and do whatever it pleased no matter how he tried to stop it or slow down the progress.

"Your body has a disease, Ben. As bad as it is, your body is trying to help because you're ill. If you have a muscle that is weakened or the tissue is dead then your body getting rid of that is better than having that pain getting worse or getting an infection." (Y/n)'s voice was gentle as she didn't want him to think she didn't care because she did, she cared so much and she could feel her heat physically hurting for what he was going through. She couldn't imagine how it felt to try so hard to build her body up and then find it failing in small but significant ways.

(Y/n) slowly pulled her hands away from his hips because she knew the pressure he was applying was going to hurt and make the throbbing in his muscles worse instead of better. She moved her hands to cup his face, brushing away the tears as he clamped his hands over the back of hers, holding tightly as if he was desperate for her not to let go or to leave him.

As bad as it seemed, Ben's body was trying to help itself because if the muscle mass was bad or deteriorating then it was going to get rid of it. That was surely better than Ben being in agony from a worsening muscle that was getting weaker and being more of a burden than a help. It also stopped the bad tissue from getting infected.

"But it's happening too quick." Ben whispered the words in such a defeated tone that it made tears fall from (Y/n)'s eyes too.

Neither of them had the power to slow it down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slowly opening her eyes, (Y/n) blinked through the darkness to try and get her pupils to adjust to the seeping darkness that was swarming through the bedroom. Forcing her groggy eyes to stay open, (Y/n) looked around to try and see why she was now awake.

Lola was laying next to her in the middle of the bed as she seemed to be a lot lately. The two-year-old was laid on her stomach on top of the covers with her own blanket draped over her. She seemed to have her knees bent and laid in such a way that it pushed her bum up a bit but she was fast asleep which was a good sign.

Moving her gaze past Lola, (Y/n) locked her eyes on Ben before narrowing her eyes to try and work out the problem. He had his face buried into the pillow as he was laid on his side facing her but his hand was tightly holding onto her arm as he had shaken her to try and wake her up. His hand let go of her arm when (Y/n) slowly pushed herself so she was leaning up on her arm, carefully leaning over Lola to get closer to Ben so he would tell her what was wrong.

"My hip's gone numb." Ben whispered the words but there was a certain tone to his voice that showed he was in pain.

Ben tried not to lay on his right side but when he fell asleep he couldn't help if he moved about during his sleep. He'd applied a bit too much pressure to his hip and now he couldn't turn over because his hip was blistering but with numbness instead of a throbbing pain. It hurt to move and he couldn't lay like this for the rest of the night.

He wasn't exactly sure what he was asking of (Y/n) but he knew he needed help to either turn over or get out of bed.

Turning over, (Y/n) turned on the bedside lamp before slowly pushing herself so she was sitting up. Letting her brain begin to wake up as she looked through one of the drawers in the side table, grabbing a rube of cream and leaving it on the bed before she leaned back over so she was looking at Ben. Planting a gentle kiss to his forehead before she pulled the cover off of him.

"Okay, lean your weight onto your arm." (Y/n) spoke softly as she tried to be careful when she reached for his legs. Slowly pressing on his good hip to puh it back as she pulled on his right leg to try and help him turn over so he was lying on his back and not his side.

A low groan of agony left his lips but (Y/n) could see the relief on his face as he could finally begin to feel his hip again rather than the tingling numbness that felt like it was burning through his skin.

Reaching out for the cream, (Y/n) pulled down the waistband of Ben's boxers causing his head to snap down to look at her. Wondering what she was doing before he jumped, batting her hand away but she swatted him back so she could continue putting the cream on his skin. Ice packs were all well and good but they didn't help his muscles, they simply reduced or increased swelling and numbed the pain. The cream she was trying to put on his hip was one that was specifically for muscles and it was meant to reduce pain, granted it wasn't meant for the kind of condition Ben had but (Y/n) thought it would help.

"That stuff burns." Ben whispered defeatedly, turning his head to look at (Y/n), his heart swelling at the soft smile that appeared on her lips when she locked eyes with him. He had no idea what time in the morning it was and neither did she, (Y/n) simply got up and didn't fuss that he had woken her up when they both had to get up early. She simply helped him without fuss or annoyance and it both made him feel relieved yet upset because he didn't want to have to wake her up or seem or feel like a burden to her in any way.

(Y/n) put the cream back in the drawer before turning the lamp off. Laying down so she was facing him, surprised Lola hadn't woken up yet.

Ben hated that cream because it both burned when it was applied and it burned his eyes because it was strong and had a very horrible scent that overwhelmed his nose. But if it helped then he wouldn't care anymore.

"Thank you." He whispered quietly, smiling when she reached out and took his hand in her own. Kissing the back of his hand as she closed her eyes, already feeling sleep pulling her back.

"You don't have to thank me, sweetheart."

[serbrienneoftarth]

GoT 8x4 Jaime/Brienne Thoughts

Please have my still incredibly disjointed order incomplete ramblings post 8x4. My apologies for how I’m not even bothering to edit this, I’m sick of looking at it now lmao.

I am of course missing so many things, there is so much to cover and I’ll never manage to get it all in one go. I’m only going to cover Brienne and Jaime related things here, but I’m glad to chat about the rest of it outside of this post.

There are things I did not necessarily enjoy within the episode. I would have written it quite differently, but as a whole, I’m not as mad at it as I know much of the fandom is.

What I am irritated with is mostly due to the way things were written and presented rather than the actual series of events.

This is honestly part of the scenario that I have always said would be my want for a canon ending. While I would love a happily ever after, I have never thought that I was going to get it in any way. Realistically the narrative supporting anything of the sort isn’t going to happen. If they offer it, I’m gonna take it happily lol. But let’s be real, one of the two of them is likely to die by the end. They have always been heading in the direction to be together. But I have long since assumed that it would also be ill-fated.

My want for an end to their story has always been something along the lines of Jaime and Brienne briefly realising they wanted one another and being together for whatever amount of time during the war. I have always expected that Jaime would then go back to Cersei, not necessarily to either be with her or to murder her perhaps to try to convince her to give up or to aid in her removal from the throne. And then he’d possibly die with her, though not necessarily intentionally. Brienne would mourn him heavily, but she would understand that he couldn’t have stayed no matter what she said. And in mourning him she would come to find that she was carrying his child. She would lose Jaime, but she would have a physical reminder that he loved her once too. Brienne would then have the heir she hadn’t ever married for. The child would perhaps be legitimized a Tarth, though she would never deny who was her child’s father. And if she had Tarth to go back to she might, and if not she would spend the rest of her days at Winterfell.

I know. I’m used to that being an unpopular want for a ship.

*cracks knuckles* Let’s get into the events of the episode.

I’m incredibly pleased that Jaime and Brienne became canon in a sexual sense. I wouldn’t have written it the way it happened. But I have some thoughts on it as it is. The problem with television is that often times everything is cheapened for a laugh. And the way they presented it as Jaime stumbling in drunk does that. Though Brienne is far soberer than I think people assumed. And while some of the chemistry is missing between the actors in the scene, the fact that Brienne is confused and a little scared makes that a little easier to take. She is very bold in her actions in the scene, undressing Jaime and herself with really no hesitation. They’ve seen each other unclothed before, take care of each other, in the past and recently, that isn’t where hesitation would be anyway. She trusts his sincerity but is unsure of his intentions because for her it’s all very new. Until he lifts onto his toes to kiss her (which was also played for the laughs *sigh*), it wasn’t quite yet real.

Asleep in her bed, Brienne is quite content, and Jaime then looks restless. I’d expect him to be. Not necessarily because he regrets it. (Please note for all I know he is and canonically Brienne is terrible in bed lmao.) This is the first time that he’s been with a woman other than Cersei. For 40 years he has loved the same woman and never strayed. His relationship status is a recent change even if it’s been a long time coming. And Jaime still thinks that Cersei is pregnant with his child. (Is she? Who knows at this point. I’ve stopped guessing.) Perhaps it’s long enough later that he’s fully sober, woke up for a glass of water, and has a headache and feels guilty for how he initiated the whole thing. But regardless, I’d expect him to have a lot on his mind.

At this point, I’d almost skip commentary on Tyrion and Jaime’s conversation, but really Tyrion? A couple of days earlier he was respectful and then this episode he’s back to his drunken little beast persona. What’s she like down there Jaime? What sort of answer is he even looking for here? (Jaime: Like Highgarden. Tyrion: Super gay? Full of thorned bushes? Jaime: No, now that I’ve plundered it I’m back off to see Cersei.)

So here is where I complain about the shit was this show portrays the passage of time, it’s all over the place. But I’m going to say at this point now Brienne and Jaime have been lovers for weeks, a month, maybe more. At least by the time he leaves.

On Jaime leaving…

I fully expect to find out something has happened off camera, more than just Jaime finding out what he did from the raven that Sansa received. But until we know, it doesn’t yet apply.

Cersei has done something to anger Daenerys more than she had been, Jaime knows that Tyrion will not be able to temper his dragon queen and that Cersei’s life is likely now forfeit pregnant or not. And how can Jaime allow that to happen without doing something? Even if he doesn’t love her the same way now, even if he left, Cersei is still a woman he has loved his whole life and she is carrying his baby. He still loves her in some ways and nobody should expect him to be able to just turn that off with a switch.

And beyond that, he knows what she is capable of. I’m not going to call her mad, because I think she is smart and strategic and that people let their dislike of her colour their views of her as a whole. But she has limited things left to lose, and if she has to, she is capable of great destruction. And Jaime has always made himself invested in the city, he ruined his reputation for it.

We don’t know what didn’t get shown between Jaime and Brienne. But I don’t think he has ever told her about the baby. I don’t think Brienne would have even tried to stop him if he had. She tells him that he cannot save her and that he’s better than Cersei. But canonically she doesn't know Cersei or her life and what drives her to her decisions. And I personally would say Brienne would understand parts of her if she did. And anyway, I think that if she knew why Jaime needed to leave, beyond him pushing her away with ugly words, she might have said give me a half an hour, we’ll both go. It’s not that he’s leaving at all, but she knows that he’s throwing away his life to go. Brienne knows that if he leaves he’s going to die. But he doesn’t tell her anything and instead he pushes her away and breaks her heart and leaves alone.

Fuck, I half want Brienne to just tear out of Winterfell after Jaime and be like no, you're going back and that's fine, but you aren't going alone. I’d do it.

He was an idiot. But Brienne will always love Jaime even if he goes back to Cersei, if he dies or doesn't. And she will NEVER hold love against him. You don't get rid of love for anyone so easily. Neither one of them.

Jaime Lannister and his lack of honest communication jfc.

Maybe he did the best thing he thought he could for her, which was to make her hate him a little bit. Or maybe he just hates himself a little for it. For all he cannot be yet, if ever. He is still tied to Cersei and her fate, he’s not free yet.

I'd have preferred if he had said I love you in a clear conversation on screen, but I think he still doesn't trust that it can last either. That he can have happiness. Jaime was awake and watching her. Not with what I think are regrets for loving her, but just a lot of things he hasn't said. And things he has to do still. He's not free yet at all. He’s with her, but his head and his sense of duty are still somewhere else too. He had a taste of a normal life with Brienne, loving someone openly. Because I have no doubt that he loves Brienne and loves her still. But it couldn't last for him at that moment. So much remains unfinished. And now it might always be.

[sailorshadzter]

alright so here’s going to be my thoughts / breakdown of the new trailer. im actually really excited to do this because ive not done a game of thrones trailer before!! 

so i hope you guys enjoy.

also, shoutout to everyone who has taken the time to gif this trailer, i hope no one minds me using their gifs (with the proper credit of course!) 

anyways, under the cut for SPOILERS and length :)

we immediately cut to arya running off, her breathing heavy, she even makes a frightened sound as she takes off. we watch her run, looking over her shoulder, true fear in her eyes and on her face. but i dont think this is fear for herself. i can only assume that these opening seconds are post battle with the ww/nk because she’s covered in blood (also WHO’S blood?) and sweat. something or someone (jon  👀) has sent arya back to winterfell and we all know what the reason is: sansa fucking stark. 

something has struck fear into jon or arya for their beloved sister/cousin and arya is 100% going after sansa. because she looks over her shoulder, i imagine she’s running away from whatever has come for sansa- she’s leading it away, perhaps in hopes that it will give chase to her and give sansa a chance to escape. maybe not, maybe the look over her shoulder is at someone else chasing after her to rescue sansa (jon? the hound? brienne?). either way... this is true fear we see on arya’s face. she’s terrified that something has happened to sansa. 

worse yet... what if she’s running from someone who she loves that’s been turned into a white walker? i hate the thought of that but wow that could be something else, huh. 

what i find really interesting throughout this scene (besides arya’s voice over) is the three bell tolls. they say death comes in threes. the three bell tolls could signify the deaths of the characters we see as they chime (davos, varys, and arya herself / whoever she’s speaking to). i will literally lose my mind if davos dies, i cant even THINK about that. but, its definitely a very real possibility as we move into this final battle. 

arya’s voice over is chilling... i know death... it’s got many faces... i look forward to seeing this one. What i LOVE about this is its all voice over until that final line. she’s saying that to someone on her list. she’s clean in that moment, meaning its before or after the opening moments. my guess is its after and she’s speaking to cersei. cersei has been on her list from the beginning and it’s absolutely without a doubt that arya will rush off to king’s landing to rescue sansa. if cersei doesnt die in childbirth like i think (we’ll talk about that later) it would be arya to get the kill. and i know, the old witch told cersei it would be her brother that killed her... but let’s talk about that for a second

it’s going to be tyrion. he’s going to get them into king’s landing without cersei knowing and he’s going to be the reason they’re able to take cersei out. so really, he’s her undoing. he causes her death. this also feeds into my thought that tyrion won’t stay loyal to dany. if dany lives past the fight with the night king, something tells me she wont want to rush into king’s landing just to rescue sansa. she wont view her as important any longer and wont want to risk harm to herself or her dragons by immediately leaving one fight for the other. not for sansa stark. that will be tyrions breaking point. 

these are a few of the shots we get while bran’s voice over plays. everything that you did brought you to where you are now... where you belong. home.  we also see king’s landing & sam looking over his shoulder with bran in the background. the moment bran says home we’re hit with a shot of dany’s army marching towards winter fell, of course with jon and dany on horseback coming up at the rear? the middle? im not sure but i also dont think it matters much.

i think its obvious this is bran speaking to jon. he’s reminding him that despite this reveal of who his parents really were... he’s still a stark. he’s still home there at winterfell, in the north. he’s still got a family. everything jon has done up until this point has been for the north or for sansa. he went to war with the boltons to take winterfell back, to avenge what happened to sansa, to protect what family he had left. 

next is cersei, she’s clearly overlooking a ship coming into the harbor or someone riding up on horseback / in a wagon. i wont lie, im not versed enough in the ins and outs of king’s landing to know, or if you can even travel from winterfell to king’s landing... but i would assume there’s a way considering the golden company is most likely sailing there from king’s landing???

anyways

i think cersei is watching sansa being brought to her. she’s smirking because she think she’s won. she thinks she’s going to be the queen on the throne in the end of this fight. she’s untouchable. she’s pregnant with the future heir to the iron throne and she has who she believes to be her son’s murderer almost in her grasp. not just that- this is sansa stark, the key to the north. her “brother” is king in the north (well kind of) and now she has leverage against him. her life for something. i cant imagine word of jon’s parentage would have traveled to cersei yet (although... who knows) so she cant use sansa as leverage for jon to give up his claim to the throne. maybe sansa for dany? give up the dragon queen and ill give you back your sister, type thing. im not sure. i truly believe at this point, cersei still hasnt let go her belief that sansa helped poison joffrey & i think that’s the biggest motive for her here. everything else is just gravy. especially if she DOES learn the truth about jon while she’s in her keep. 

yeah so here we have dany and jon riding into winterfell, looking very much like a king / queen riding into battle. i dont have much to say about this moment other than they both look very stoic, not that is surprising for jon. dany seems to be just ahead of him, as if to remind everyone she’s the queen. i do like the contrast of her white outfit compared to the darkness of the dothraki and jon. but those blood red gloves? girl. talk about having blood on your hands.

now this is the part im LIVING FOR

MY GIRL HOLY SHIT.

the shot continues with sansa taking a few steps towards the other side of the walkway, her eyes never leaving the dragons. first of all, can we talk about how all the men in got have reacted to the dragons? THEY COWERED. THEY RAN. THEY FLUNG THEMSELVES ONTO THE GROUND. jon literally threw himself on the ground out of fear and shock. but not this girl. not my stark sisters. they literally show no fear as the dragons fly overhead. 

sansa is wearing the same gown here as she is when she meets with jon and dany. i definitely think this is her watching the arrival of the army and dany. the dragons arent hard to miss and im sure someone alerted her of them being sighted. she’s up there watching their arrival, knowing any moment jon would be back in winterfell where he belonged.

im sure she’s thinking about hundreds of things. how am i to feed all these people without the north starving? how are the dragons to feed without starving us all? why has jon brought her back with him? why do they ride side by side like husband and wife?  part of me wants to believe that this is all planned out ahead of time, but i know it isnt. if jon wants this political agenda to go through the right way he has to make every last detail seem believable. he knows sansa cant lie for shit (bless her heart) and if he doesnt make even her believe he’s with dany, then this whole thing will fall apart. 

he’s doing this for her, after all.

next we see jon already in the crypts and daenerys coming to join him. we have jon’s voice over as she walks they’re coming, our enemy doesn’t tire.   what’s interesting to me is the placement of jon’s words over this particular scene. it pans in to dany looking upset as she approaches jon (who looks downright miserable) as if she means to console him. it’s here that jon says the enemy never tires. are we to take this literally as dany is the enemy? its a trailer so its hard to say. we can only infer things at this point. i definitely believe dark!dany is coming whether this trailer did this or not, so i cant really use it as proof of anything. 

i just find it odd that jon is NEVER smiling or happy (it seems) when he’s with dany. now this post isnt about a ship war (but if you follow me, you already know where i stand) but i find it odd that for the couple we’re supposed to think is end game... they never seem happy. if jon’s in love with dany, why doesnt he show it? in his past relationships we see him smile and laugh. yes, i know, jon is definitely the brooding type but we KNOW he can smile, we’ve seen it before with sansa & ygritte. so why not with dany? that alone is proof enough for me that jon and dany are NEVER going to end up together. 

anyways moving on before the stans come for me  👀

doesnt stop, doesnt feel... Jon’s voice over continues as we flash to Gendy (looking like a whole ass snack, hello) Jorah riding into battle, and Grey Worm with Missandei sharing a kiss. also i think its important that we’re shown them kissing as jon says dont feel, implying that only the living can of course feel, while the night king feels absolutely nothing at all. their kiss is a reminder that happiness can be found even in the darkest of moments (thanks for the quote, albus) and its bittersweet too because this very well could be the last time they see each other. 

(credit to @vavaharrison for this gif as well) 

we cut then to a battle scene with brienne and jaime. i love the background of this scene- all fire and ash, brienne slicing through a white walker (i hope lol) as intense as ever. it cuts to jaime shouting for bronn which has me SHOOK because does that mean something has happened to bronn? is jaime trying to get his attention BEFORE something happens? just needs his attention so he can send him elsewhere on the battlefield? its hard to say. 

looking very closely, jaime is wearing northern armor here, the same set he was wearing in the one set of hbo stills. there’s been a lot of speculation that it’s robb’s armor he’s wearing and i love that idea. 

the scene switches immediately after this and we get something INSANE and AMAZING all at the same time.

without a doubt, that’s sansa there in king’s landing, standing before cersei. i think its safe to assume the person next to her is the commander of the golden company, the uniform he’s wearing is pretty spot on, at least from the distance of the shot. 

obviously they did this for a reason. they dont want us to be 100% but we know. but you cant miss sansa’s frame or the way she styles her hair. even in such a small, far off shot you can tell it’s sansa standing there. you can even just barely make our her fur wrap around her shoulders, the black cloak she wears a dark contrast to the room. 

now, i touched on this earlier... the kidnapping plot. 

i’ve been a big believer in this since i first heard of it. it makes sense, it falls perfectly into the plot.. it works. i wont repeat myself (much) from what i said earlier, but sansa has been brought here because she’s the key to the north & the whole joffrey getting poisoned at his own wedding. cersei blamed tyrion and by default sansa too... because besides sansa, who else could want him dead THAT MUCH? i mean to us, the answer is a LOT of people, but to cersei... sansa is the only answer. she was mistreated by joffrey from the start and he had cut of her father’s head right before her very eyes. of course sansa would want him dead. 

and its so easy to blame her. poor little sansa stark. she’s jealous of sansa, i’ve always thought so. a beautiful girl, well loved by her family and everyone around her. even at king’s landing people were drawn to her. she was a shining example of what a lady was supposed to be, untainted by the darkness like cersei. she was pure, like myrcella was. she would grow to have a nice life eventually, even if it meant she remained married to tyrion. and her own son, evil as he was, he was still hers, he would grow cold in the dirt. cersei needed someone to lash out at, someone to blame. and there was no one better than sansa stark. 

the shot of the hall is followed by that one of cersei, looking teary-eyed and drinking wine.  we already knew she was pregnant (or was she? now im not sure what to think!!) and avoided the wine when talking with tyrion. but here she’s drinking again. we know how much cersei loves her wine. i suppose its safe to assume there’s no more pregnancy, there’s to be no heir to follow after her for the iron throne. and now that jaime is gone from her... there’s no one left in this world that she loves or loves her. that child was her one last chance to start over, to be a good mother, and rule the seven kingdoms. now its all gone. its like she’s asking herself here what’s the point now? why continue? she’s wearing what looks to be a dressing robe, so i can only assume this is after she’s been cleaned up from her miscarriage. maybe she’s even brought sansa in and is talking with her, a call back to the conversations they used to have in the earlier seasons. 

i think we’ll get a lot of drama from this- everyone is going to witness jon losing his mind over sansa’s kidnapping. blaming himself, arya blaming herself, and probably brienne too. let me tell you... i live for that. i think this will be the moment where people realize just how deeply jon feels for her. this will be where the political plot unravels. 

*cue the dramatic music*

we get a shot of the dragons, a repeat of arya seeing the dragons, grey worm putting his helmet on, and an amazing shot of jon in the godswood (which ill talk about below) all while jaime has a voice over i promised to fight for the living... i intend to keep that promise! just like with arya, it starts out as a voice over, but the last line is him actually saying the line to whomever he’s speaking to. i believe this is part of his speech as he pledges himself to sansa / house stark. 

ive read a few posts about this moment- some speculating that there’s someone sitting there that we can’t see, others saying we’re seeing this in the POV of someone walking towards jon. im more inclined to believe the latter. its almost like jon’s waiting there for someone. i think we’d still get a glimpse of skirts if it was sansa or silver hair over his shoulder if it was dany. i guess you could argue it could be arya who’s so small he would obscure her or bran even, but again, i think its most likely this is the pov of someone walking towards jon.

but who?

i think its sansa. my little shipper heart would LOVE to believe this is a secret wedding or the moment they’ll confess their feelings, but its a long shot i know. anyways. if its not sansa... then i dont know. at this point, im assuming this is after jon’s parentage reveal. he’s struggling with who he is. all along he’s wanted to be a stark, not just the stark bastard. now he’s a targaryen? who’s the one person who told him he was a stark when no one else would? Sansa. im not a stark, you are to me. jon doesnt have the stark name, but i do. together, they are house stark. if he married her, he could claim the name he always wanted. it would be an amazing call back to ned & cat under the godswood back in season 1 if we had jon and sansa here as well.

all i can think about when i see these scenes are something i mentioned above: how are the dragons going to feed without putting the whole north into starvation? originally id been worried about the army dany was bringing with her but this... this is the real problem. look at all the bones jon and dany have to cross to get to her dragons. how much livestock and wild animals have died to feed these things? how many more innocent children / people have been killed already in wintertown? that livestock / animals could be feeding the people, but they arent. 

this leads me to this next moment

wow my girl looks so sad here :(

im having a LOT of mixed feelings about what’s got sansa so down. she’s in a new dress entirely (note the neckline) so im not sure where to place this in the timeline of everything. i could refer this moment to SO MANY THINGS. is she watching jon and dany? a new thought that has come to me is... have the dragons burned someone? is this her reacting to someone crying over a dead child / loved one? im having a lot of flash backs to how dany looked when the father brought her his daughter’s charred corpse. 

her lips are parting like she means to say something but cant find her voice. she’s standing in winterfell’s courtyard, so who else is around her? we’re not privy to anyone in the background or before her, so again, we can only infer from what the trailer is giving us. 

is she watching jon and dany as they walk away to visit the dragons? have she and jon just argued? is she watching HIM walk away to brood in the godswood, feeling down himself after learning who his parents were? it could literally be anything that’s making her look this sad. im leaning towards it being jon related, but wow if it were something to do with the dragons burning someone... wow. 

i feel like this is where im going to end.

the rest of the trailer are quick glimpses of scenes and faces. arya fighting with the same background as brienne, tyrion looking hella depressed, drogon hitting us with a fire blast, the dothraki & brienne/jaime/ ect in line to fight, and of course the epic moment where we see the first glimpse of a white walker.

overall, this trailer was great. 

it gave us just enough without being TOO much. i thought id be let down once we did get a trailer only because we’ve been waiting so long!! but it’s amped me up and got me even more excited for the season to come!!

if you’ve made it this far... thanks for reading! lets chat about all things game of thrones! my ask box is always open~! :)

[itsediadmlove]

Reconciliating Westerosi fandom

Alright folk, first of all I am writing this post for 2 reasons: first of all because I’ve come to like this kind of shit (I thought it to be a nuisance 1 year ago), secondly because I’ve had enough of Reading 3 kind of posts this week; post saying the episode was shitty, posts saying Daenerys is a bitch, posts saying Sansa is a slut. I’ve had enough of people being biased or judging the episode from a ship perspective. Dame of Thrones and D&D don’t give a fucking damn about wich ship we stand or our expectations, we are going to watch the whole season anyway. And them giving us the chance to come here every day every week since the beginnig of the season, being unsure about the outcome, speaking to each other, arguing with each other because we expect different things how everything should end is amazing enough. And being wrong about where the story is leading doesn’t make the deliverance any less majestic.

 Episode 4 was amazing, shit is hitting the fan and the fans and we are back to what game of thrones should be: ‘bout the game of thrones. This season is being far superior to season 7, which in comparison felt plain and predictable (even Starkbowl being a fake was predictable). I have previously wrote a post about this episode in particular and I am going to take my time explaining why both Sansa and Daenerys were awsome this episode. Maybe I’ll repeat myself at some points, but I want the people to stop shitting about what other people believe to be right and take some serious insight on what those characters are doing.

 The last thing I want you to keep in mind before I get started is that I’m pretty aware that I am not a native speaker, and my english can be messy. So if anyone feels like wanting some kind of deeper explanation about what I mean at some point, I invite them to talk with me whenever they want, no matter the ship they stand or whatever; this is not about ships this is about characters understanding so we can enjoy the show without biased or shitty mindsets. I am also aware that I am not a great writter and I believe there is people around far better at exposing themselves.

 -        Daenerys: Amazing episode, the Dragon Queen is finally playing the game herself. Personally I reconciled with her this very episode. I doubted she was able to play the game, this very episode prove me wrong. First we got the Gendry legitimation; clever, as Tyrion pointed out it provided her a loyal (at least theorically) lord of Storm’s End, but it also allowed her to send a message to Sansa Stark about her claim to Winterfell which she could at least jeopardize just by doing something as simple as that. The chamber’s stuff was another amazing display. It allows us to see her concern about Jon’s claim to the Iron Throne. Being fair to her she was right about almost everything. Jon not wanting the throne doesn’t matter at all; even if he never pushed his claim, it will always be an excuse for every single lord around to contest her right to rule over them forcing her to take action making her a tyrant. She was right on the crypts as well (ep2); Jon’s right to the IT will always be shitty, his only prooves are his brother visions and a book anyone could have written, but it doesn’t even matter if it is true. Remember Stannis people, he was right all along about being Robert’s heir, and yet no one gave a damn just because they never wanted him as King. Now we got to the controversial part, her badmouthing Sansa. Yes It is true, but well, there is a throne at stake. For me at this point Daenerys has been thinking about the parentage reveal consequences and being true, the only way to prevent all the shit to come through is having Jon murdered, because even as looking for a way out, once she doesn’t need him anymore and Cersei is done for, she would have to spend all her life out of fear that someone learned the truth. I really believe she loves Jon. During the war council she was in a rush to leave, and I believe that she is actually trying to prevent Jon to tell his family and not because she gives a fuck about her people, after all, she is the very same person that in the books had a huge amount of ill people under her protection in Meereen just because they needed it. In all she is trying to manipulate him while lying herself. Before people start splitting on her (or me)   because of it, if at some point you have been invested in Pol!Jon  theory it seems unfair towards Daenerys to blame her to do exactly the same thing to him. Because what she is really trying here is to keep him safe. As I said before, at this point she should have already contemplated the possibility of murdering him, but she doesn’t want this to happen. Yet, we have to admit that she has already invested to much in Westeros, she has already sacrified to many things and people in her quest, to just back off. She has a responsability to all that people who have died in order for her to get there, and if she risked just because of a hot guy, it would feel to me as a betrayal to all those people, Friends and lovers she has sacrified, she wouldn’t deserve to be a queen while killing Jon would turn her into an usurper. Maybe I don’t like her as a Queen, yet I admire the character, it would be shitty for her to turn mad just because she wants power. If I should describe Daenerys in just one Word it would be passionate; in her way to fight, to rule, to believe on herself and, finally, to love. I don’t know how it is all gonna end, but, if she had to turn Mad, I would feel very displeased if she turns so just because she is ‘’POWER HUNGRY’’, it should be because of love. At some point Daenerys has to stop lying to herself and accept she can’t protect Jon, each death she suffers should push her to the edge, not because she is too sensitive, that woman has crossed the world fighting her way out doing great and terrible things, she isn’t weak, but because she has a duty to all those who believed in her, and for a queen, let a man just take it all away, even the very risk of it happening, should be out of question. And the more she lose, the more she feels endebted to her people and the more she understands, that at the end, she will be forced to kill the man she loves, admires, trusts and considers worthy of being a King. It should be heartbreaking, unfair, saddening and Shakespearian.

 -        Sansa: As always since the sixth season, her character was brilliant this episode. It is true that this episode was far more focused on Daenerys and yet Sansa always get the chance to be outstanding. I loved the political dance between her and Dany this episode. I will go straight to the point; the battlement scene with Tyrion. Sansa isn’t happy there, so much is evident. For some episode now she had been shown around people that were essential in her past (Theon, Tyrion, Sandor). All of them are people that tried to protect her one way or another, the problema is that all of them are related to some piece of her past she doesn’t want to remember. The only reason why Dany made reference to her in her convo with Jon is because she has realised how important he is for her. Everyone can believe if there is any romantic feeling or not, I’m not here to talk about what you all should believe, bute ven if it is just platonical sibling love, Jon is the only male character related to all of her good memories; from her childhood in Winterfell to the present, while being innocent or unrelated  about all the bad ones. This means he is very important to her, important in an extent that is even hard to understand. It is true that he asked something from her and she betrayed such trust; and so? You all antis go around speaking about how she betrayed him without giving a thought about why she did so. Right now, denying Sansa being one of the smartest characters around is just plain and simple denial and her scene with Tyrion was key this episode. There are two emotions in her in such scene: anger (for Jon to leave south) and fear. Anger was pretty easy to get, Tyrion realised, she was unhappy, now, fear shows u when Tyrion ponted out Jon not being a Stark, because this is the very reason that makes him going south dangerous. Sansa is brilliant and she has been thinking ‘bout the parentage reveal as well. And her conclusion is just the same as Daenerys: Jon is going to die because Dany needs him to die. Why she broke the promess: as I see it she has gotten the picture, Dany can’t kill Jon yet, as long as Cersei remains in the throne she needs him to keep the North and the Vale, so if she is going to do something about it, it needs to be now, so she plaid her move, not because she is power hungry, but because she wants to protect him just as much as Daenerys.

 It would be nice for us to be able to stan a character without disrespecting others, or at leasst other fans. The last thing that I want to tell all of you is that I had enough of people throwing the mysoginist bullshit over other people. I really believe GOT is full  of amazing females characters to putt he blame on that. Sure, the world of ASOIAF is unfair with women, welcome to middle age fuckers. If it wasn’t like this we couldn’t relate to such a period. Yet a pretty lot of people needs to defend their faves by pushing the mysoginist bullshit over others, it is pittysome and annowing, the very fact that such a large extent of our faves are females you speak against D&D being such a thing; females characters are amazingly complex here. The very same persons needing to pull such a vague and wrong reasoning over others are the very same people that go saying this or another female character is ‘’POWER HUNGRY’’. I will tell you a secret both Daenerys and Sansa are ambitious (fuck what a revelation) and I find it disgusting that is have to be a guy like me who has to tell you that women being ambitious (doesn’t matter it being Sansa or Dany) is perfectly right thing and they don’t have to love each other just for both of them being women.

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all