#ill be thinking about this for awhile
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I don't know how often you use Tumblr, but I saw what you posted on Twitter. I was going to post this to your strawpage but it's too long.
So to keep it anonymous, l'll just leave what I wrote for you here.
Take it how you will, I didn't intend for it to come across as rude or offensive. I'm sorry if it does.
But here
This might not be accurate but I'll just say this
For most people, we do things that we love, we feed off leisure. We spend our time developing skills based on those principles, some learn guitar, some start collections, some learn to draw, and others do a myriad of other things.
But, something about leisure, and having hobbies; is that in due time, no matter how hard we try. We lose fulfillment In what we do, some things just aren't enough anymore, the passion is dying down or at least hiding somewhere in your brain.
It's always unpleasant, to feel like you're losing yourself.
But, you're still creating who you are, you're still finding new parts of yourself in everything you love, in every song, in every book, in every movie, and in your everyday life. You find mediums to express yourself- you maintain them and you have your whole life, no matter where you are no matter what you do, you'll be doing something that you love weather you're aware of it or not.
So, when something does become tedious when it doesn't drive you the way it used to, you will continue on, you will start a new Whether you mean to or not.
You deserve a passion, an image, a voice, a story, you deserve to want to know who you are. Fight with yourself, and learn about yourself. Make things and do things, love things.
No matter what you decide to do, you'll be here [here as in Alive, not wherever you currently are]. And the people you love will hopefully be there too.
I can't claim to know how you feel, especially since I don't completely remember every point you made in your original tweet? But if you want a break, if you want to try something new. I think you should, no matter how scary, you deserve to develop and development takes change.
That's how you got here and that's how you'll get to wherever else you're headed.
That's all, goodbye, see you later
~☆*
no offense to you or anything but when i get lengthy asks i skim through them to see if its a bot or a person and i had to do a double take for this one because i read “some learn guitar” i thought this was an ad and then i looked a little closer HAHA…. Anyway, my actual response under the cut im about to go on a ramble:
First of all, i want to thank you for taking the time to write this and find a way to send it to me. This didn’t come off as offensive in any way at all! I like keeping the anon option on because while it does allow for nasty people to hide behind it, there are kind people like you who just prefer to stay hidden (i am one of these people, so i understand). And thank you again for reading what i originally wrote.
i deleted it not out of shame or embarrassment for being vulnerable on the internet, i want to share that side of myself to followers from time to time. I did it cause i thought what i said mightve sounded too incoherent, i was in a mood. I have been in one for quite some time and while ive managed to have quick escapes from it, it always comes back. To say im just miserable would be an understatement. And my deteriorating mental state reflects how i think about my social media presence, posting/sharing things, & creating them. I screenshotted everything with plans to rewrite (or just repost) what i said… I posted that in hopes of letting other people know how much i appreciate their viewing of my content. Even if they’re a silent follower. And also because i wanted to share my own perspective on the whole posting for likes or posting for love of art. I hoped that how i ended it came off a little optimistic. While i am sad, I still do believe things will turn out fine in the end..
It feels… weird (in a good way dont worry, im kinda in disbelief at the moment haha) to see people say that i deserve a voice, passion, story or image, because i just kind of mindlessly post things. I don’t think very hard about how others might perceive it. I don’t really think of myself as anything really. Not in a total self deprecating way its just like euuuhhh? me? artist? an inspiration? I know i inspire some because they have told me, but it never truly clicked for me that like, oh yeah this person actively thinks about the things i make or write when they want to be inspired. And like i said in the tweets, my drive is different from others… i have no overwhelming desire to be KNOWN and PRAISED, although i get why others do, that shit is addicting, haha. i just post for the people who i know like to see what i make. I feel accomplished as an artist in that sense, that ive left a mark on someone, one person at least. I have always been in the background of projects rather than be in the front of them. You see my name in various credits, in fact most of my audience came from other people mentioning me in their works. I used to really struggle and even cry over this (i still kinda do), but then i learned to be fine with it… proud of it even in a sense cause its great to be apart of things. Its just the way other people treat me is where it gets me. I dont like being treated like someone’s shadow haha.
Earlier last year i struggled with what to do with my life (career wise) and i am… still struggling. The road im currently on leads to a career that has nothing to do with art but still something i want to do, have wanted to do since i was small. But i feel like i am betraying the other me, the kid me who did have dreams of being an artist, they did not have huge aspirations of making an original show or comic or anything, but they did want to be apart of things, help others realize those aspirations. We will see though, who knows, maybe the road will throw me a curve ball and ill be in a class learning the skills to try to master something ive been doing for years.
as for posting art, i dont intend on taking a break dont worry, im all good over here. I want to keep sharing the stuff i make, haha. That was supposed to be what everyone shouldve taken away from my closing statement on that tweet. That im going to continue creating & putting stuff out for the people who do care to see it. Numbers are irrelevant, as long as there’s someone out there its worth sharing.
thank you again, this made me tear up a little bit… I really appreciate this, more than you know. Like i mentioned in the tweet i revisited some of the nice things people have said to me regarding my work/person to help my mood, it is nice to receive something new to read… i really needed this. Thank you <3
#my brain on parchment paper#vent#long post#ill be thinking about this for awhile#Thank you#thank you so much
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Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]



@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent
My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')
Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)
Well maybe it's not the only difference
#I think in this version of the au possesion puts you into an almost dream-like state#Slipping into a sort of weird trance#Like physically you still have control of your body#But mentally you're mindlessly following orders from a disembodied voice#Kinda works like that imperius curse in harry potter (yes ik rowling sucks)#And jax soon figured out it was great for dissasociating😀#Escapism and heavily dependant on those possesion sessions to preserve his own mental stability:')#But *cue dramatic music🥁*#He eventually realises that it was not the possesion that brings him comfort and peace no more#But the presence and embrace of gangle that did<3💖💗💞#Jskhsskhj sorry that was so cheesy🧀#Well more or less its because he hadnt have human interaction in AWHILE it seems#Goose did confirm that it has been a long time since he last got a hug:(#*almost* made me feel bad there#Mkay enough rambling about this slight very minor variation of the story#I hope this whole thing was coherent to even be readable=]#Maybe ill even add emojis✨#tadc gangle#tadc jax#ribbun#the amazing digital circus#Tadc au#tadc fanart#tadc fandom#gangle x jax#jax x gangle#Let me have this guys#Let me indulge-#Her head is a tad bit too small yes IM AWARE#This is actually probably my fastest post to reach 100 notes wth (in like 7-8 hours)
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#this comic was finished for awhile#i was just a bit busy over the christmas-ny period so i didnt post it oopsies#happy stpm 2025 everyone!!!#setsuna yuki#ayumu uehara#here she is... the rarest nana nakagawa....#my art#love live#love live nijigasaki#it might be a little unclear so ill just note it just in case#at the start setsuna was thinking about ayumu's shampoo 🧍♀️#setsuayu#setsupomu
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Starbee sketches + cotl starbee + Chrimbus starbee adventure!

Actions speak louder than words…

HF! Bee I ended up doing a little sketch of after an inspiring conversation i had with @bunnihops

Bee encouraged


And my starbee sky: cotl designs which I’m pretty sure caters to no one but me <3


They danced to jingle bell rock in the boba shop


They went on a date on the tree!
This is unfortunately very delayed as I got very sick for a few days and at one point fell on the ground very dramatically for absolutely nobody to see (it was 6am) but i hope everyone is having happy holidays!^^
#i also got super busy#while sick yes#I’m just talented that way/j#actually I finished this awhile ago#i just didn’t have time to post#also when I was sick I was too ill to think about transformers#imagine how miserable that is#i don’t think I had a proper conversation about my faves until today#ok I’m done see you all in five business days#starbee#transformers#maccadam#starscream#bumblebee#tfe bumblebee#tfe starscream#earthspark#earthspark starscream#earthspark bumblebee#humanformer
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Chaos' new design is the sickest shit I've ever seen. I'd already briefly seen the artwork, just without the context on who it was. NEVERR would I have guessed Chaos not in a million years and that's THE BEST PART!!

LIKE FUCK DUDE YOU SEEIN THIS SHIT?! GET YOU A PRIMORDIAL ORIGINATOR THAT CAN DO BOTH
#fr i remember seeing chaos' portal appear and going OOOO THEYRE HERE#and then the art popped up and i SCREAMED LMAO#the brief second i saw the art was actually in a drawfee vid lol#and i can now firmly agree that yes chaos hades 2 is INCREDIBLY julia coded#i fucking love it#like i do feel a little bummed that charon doesnt have art yet#but then supergiant gives us the most stunning curveball and its all ill be thinking about for awhile#hades 2#chaos hades#chaos hades 2#sea plays hades#already been posting abt it a bit and the way this reveal hit me i for sure need a tag for this journey ima be on lol#love being reminded how much this game is a mouse trap for bisexuals
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Back to school inspo ✨📚
#uhh basically study + run/lifting + more studying but its by the ocean#ive lived by the ocean my entire life but ive never studied there#mostly because its windy and sometimes smells bad lol#i do have “my spot” where i sit on the steps closest to the ocean and stare into the void while drinking an energy drink or something#thinking i should go there next week when i go back to school#maybe walk the beach or something if i have time#something more grounding because im very emotionally attached to places...#and since i wont be here this summer (for the first time in my life) i feel i must appreciate my hometown more#i have a year or two more before i leave this place for awhile and i want to remember every street and sit by the ocean close enough#to have the waves spray my face but only gently and only sometimes#and then in the summer ill get to know a new town but only for the summer and most likely never go back#another town by the water but not the ocean. with forests and freshwater lakes#itll be a lot colder despite being summer and i dont know if ill like it more or less than my hometown#i gues ive always kind of hated my hometown for not being “as good” as bigger cities. nothing to do here no one to care about...#but then i remember i grew up here and my friends are here i care about them#my memories are here and i care about that#going to the ocean in the winter and reading moominpapa and watching a play and getting rootbeer candy#slipping on the rocks and getting my shoes wet... but the water was a lot warmer than the air so i didnt mind too much until the sand#stuck to my shoes and i got the car dirty...#anyway#study#studyblr#student life#study motivation#study blog#journal#studyblr community#realistic studyblr#studying#studyspo
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the goverment is definitely figuring out this alien situation asap right?? cause whats happening currently is not feasible in the long run is it not??
im sure they are trying to maybe figure it out...probably, but part of me feels like it is not being treated with the seriousness it should be by them, which ig is in character LOL
pretty much relying on one guy (who doesnt even wanna be doing this) is actually scary
and the mc still has to like 'encourage' him to do it, tho its much easier in the 'ray ending' for sure. that man just wants to live a regular life with mc (unfortunately for him that means continuing to be binary star and dealing with aliens)
and if i was a citizen and knew this id be panicking
like yea u have these other heroes helping and stuff which im sure looks comforting from an outside point of view! but like the actuality is that its ray keeping things afloat
AND ON THE TOPIC OF THE MC, i was definitely in my head like....wouldnt rays superiors (managers??) get like curious about them? like no way theyre not being nosy about it after a certain amount of time passes. it really feels like something that could be leveraged against him,,, (if there is fic about this pls send it to me lol)
honestly i feel like mc and rays relationship would have moments of high stress. like there will be good times but also the bad times will also be there and its sometimes gonna be because of outside factors they cant control
#like this hero set up for the violent alien invasions....cannot continue forever no?#its like a common hero trope but i love overthinking stuff its my jam!#and this is not me even getting into the possibility of mc dying before him (natural causes or accident)...or him getting too old eventuall#ig they could make another human weapon or something but if that were the easiest solution#there would be more ppl like ray walking around already ig (also this is a messed up thing to do btw)#is there even a solution to this??#see im entering the next phase of my fixation which is#thinking about the world#its really interesting guys!#ray is an interesting character and all the shit hes been through...im surprised he can be even controlled ngl lol#like yea mc is his last link to humanity but also deep down ik he doesnt want to let go of it hence the obsession and love towards them#its tragic that that hope had to be pinned on one singular person tho#wishing the best for him tho#i think he should be allowed to retire rn ACTUALLY#unfortunately everyone will fuckin die so.#again....government do something!?#i dont believe in my heart that theyre trying to actually solve the problem...#ik its not an easy problem to solve either....there might not be a solution at all! but i still feel like theyre not trying hard enough??#but idk enough about what the gov is doing to know. this is literally me just going based off vibes#i hope i stop having th urge to yap about this in like a week cause ill go crazy just making thing up#binary star hero#bshvn#im so curious to actually see how mc and rays day to day official relationship would go#the ray ending one where theyre trying to be healthy about it lol#theyre super cute haha#also its always fun to see a yan type character trying to be 'normal' about their feelings#hes trying okay! he doesnt even read mcs mind anymore without permission#or at least he tries#pretty sure he slips up every once in awhile#god i just...i have a bunch of stuff going on in my head
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day 9,047 of the dont kill yourself challenge
#my pics#not too long ago was the first day i started to realize the physical toll longtime chronic addiction has taken on my body#not even internally but also on my face like i just feel like i look older than i am#so ive been having a background breakdown about that for awhile#i also got slapped in the face and gaslit hella hard today so. think ill go back to laying face down on the floor now#i know i say this constantly and its annoying but.... i really cant take this anymore dudes!!!!!!
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noelle and susies funky boogie time dance!
commission
#art#my art#digital art#deltarune#noelle holiday#deltarune noelle#deltarune susie#susie deltarune#suselle#been awhile since ive posted on here.. whoops 😅#ill probably do an art dump soon#commission#this comm was $40#im still thinking about opening comms#so if anyone has any opinions on that price or just in general id be glad to hear it!
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im about to fall for one of the classic gay blunders. see you on the other side 🫡
#spacie spoinks#I CANNOT HELP MY ATTRACTION TO WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why did i ever think i was attracted to men. why did i ever do any of that.#its been obvious since i was like 12 that i never liked them romantically.#me: gets the ick thinking about having sex or being romantic with a man but when its a woman im 👀#me also: no see im biromantic. yeah. i just think men are so pretty :)#i do NOT!!!!#well‚ i can appreciate a man's beauty but i have no interest in dating one or sexing one#of course all of the other. aspec identities complicate things further. but you know.#i THINK ive got some sort of demiromantic demisexual thing goin on#perhaps.#only time will tell truly#tmi? maybe. but if you've been following me for awhile you know that i blab my mouth way too much and tell everyone my business!!!#dont worry guys when i have sex for the first time ill be sure ta give a play by play /j
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hi! im curious on any fun design details for deep diver!! idk how to ask this. like.. fun facts regarding her? i dunno im curious on how u went about it!
i cant remember if i talked about her before, so here is what i do remember.... she was fairly straightforward for me to design, pretty much just a cartoon take on old diving suits, but my most awesome fact about her are the other things i was inspired by for her design
beyond the obvious, i remember being inspired by dennis from spongebob… maaaybe it comes off in personality..? (when i say personality, i mean visual personality which is different from how she may be written, i didnt do anything for her on the writing side)
the other inspirations were treasure knight from shovel knight, anglerfish, and…marvin the martian… yes...i only remember this because i pulled up the pureref sheet/moodboard i made when i was designing her
in terms of process, deep diver is one of the few cogs i designed without much prior sketching, i used a lasso fill tool and blocked in shapes and colors fairly quickly 🐟⚓️
#i think i answered an ask awhile ago and said i didnt have any character-based inspirations for most of my designs#but honestly i just completely forgot about deep diver's#sorry for the inconsistency there#this is very TMI but my memory on some things comes and goes due to chronic illness#so i am not the most reliable narrator#i only know a couple things...just a thing or two#anyway back to playing neopets...#edit: maybe when you look under her diving helmet you actually just see dennis with a dangly anglerfish thing. awesome /lh#joking mostly
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I'm a huge fan of your work and absolutely love it, but I feel pretty conflicted over your use of AI Art. There are quite a few posts going around reminding people to not use text AI generators because it scrapes people's works, the same way we shouldn't use AI Art generators because its based on stealing people's art.
So that makes it pretty disheartening as an artist to watch an author use AI that takes advantage of us, especially during a time when companies are in the middle of trying to replace both writers and artists with AI.
I don't think it's my place to tell you what to do but I was hoping maybe you could give some insight behind your thought process behind using it, and maybe that would help me feel less bad about it? I honestly don't mean this as any kind of passive aggressive attack or anything :( I genuinely just don't know how to feel about it and was hoping maybe more info would help. If you don't want to get into it, I understand, and thank you anyway.
(The new project sounds fantastic)
I assume you mean Artbreeder? For me it was a real case of "didn't know and didn't bother to check" <- FOOLISH STATEMENT.
I've gone ahead and taken the portraits off those posts (and deleted any I made with Artbreeder). Physical representations of the ROs for both games will return once I draw all their portraits, which is what I should have done in the first place.
#answered#ill keep it buck with you. i thought artbreeder is one of those shitty programs where you mash two portraits on top of each other#and get a new one by fiddling around with the transparency a little bit#like faceresearch.org did awhile ago#which now that i actually think about it is not my proudest moment
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Wait. Going through the woobles tag is so funny. Everyone has these lil guys they made and they're all so happy to show them off like "I made them with my hands" and I'm like you get it!!! "They're so wonky, but I love them and I'm so excited to be learning a new skill" YOU GET IT
Just makes me happy seeing everyone's first lil crochet projects and being like :') yeah me too
#personal#someone was complaining about how expensive they are#and like yeah theyre a lil pricey#but like it walked me through every aspect of making these lil guys with videos i could repeat as many times as i need#yarn that actually is really dummy proof in a lot of ways (for me)#and i can revisit videos on old projects to review things#idk i like it#like after awhile ill go away from it i think#but while im figuring it out it's a pretty cool resource#and it's everything in one kit#and i cannot stress this enough i get a lil guy after im done#10/10
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would that knowing the thoughts were irrational would Make Them Go Away!!!!
#medic's log#because i value some degree of privacy tumblr will not receive the full context#but i had a friend cancel plans i was really looking forward to#for reasons that are extremely very fair and honestly it's for the best that she Did#since i think going through with them would have put undue stress on her mental health. if not also Mine#but goddamn if it's not making me feel like absolute garbage#there's only so many ways (one. maybe two) that she can say 'i promise it's not personal' before i become the problem. el em ay oh.#and like. i Know this is me. i know this is the horrific confluence of too little sleep#and forgot to take my meds for two days#and the flavor of mental illness that makes any kind of rejection a Stab To The Heart#and the inability to handle plans changing#but also. that does not stop The Catastrophizing#the ability to reschedule these particular plans is. potentially nonexistent and i'm in my feelings about it#i know this literally isn't the case but by god does it feel like i'm being passed up as a second choice for someone more preferable#both friends involved in this have told me Multiple Times they value me in their lives and yet the little voice goes#'ohohoho you fool they are just saying that to be Polite'#never mind that both of them are so well known (in general and by me specifically) for laying down very specific boundaries without shame#so if they didn't want me around they'd fucking tell me#but also i super do not know how to broach with both of them 'hi this is a thing i'd like to do at some point' without sounding#so fucking Needy.#idk. shit sucks.#shit could suck infinitely worse but that doesn't stop the rock in my house Being There Loudly#i think i need to sleep and then SING LOUDSTYLE in the car for a bit#and then text both of them and reestablish a line of communication outside of The Plans#to make my brain go 'hey fuckwad i promise these two people actually like you'#at this point i'm basically normal but i'm trying to parse all the feelings so they don't hit a boiling point. Later.#it's whatever. i'm drinking a ginger beer and scrolling. shit could be worser#godspeed tumblr thank you for listening to my woes.#also probably a good sign that i haven't made one of these types of posts on this blog in. awhile#less good sign that i'm making one now but. you know lmao
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Can't tell if Scott Pilgrim is genuinely leaving hyperfixation status or if this is a false alarm again, but be warned maybe?
#personal post (?)#I feel like its leaving hyperfixation status#but also ive been almost forcibly avoiding other media for awhile#in order to draw this one out longer#like a scott pilgrim vacuum chamber#so i could just be very normally consuming other media and when school picks up ill be back full swing#its not even like im not still thinking about it daily#but i will say the mania has died down#i mean obviously.#anyway. fair warning i guess.
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So either way stop blocking mayhem or give up and unblock him because he’s not giving you uncomfortable he only wants to see you post making fiends content more often until he realizes you changed to yttd why can’t you make an acc for making fiends for once in your life…..
uh no??? im the one drawing lol, i draw for myself. i post so that other people who like the things i draw can also enjoy what i create.
i dont draw what other people want, at least not for free (thats what commissions are for afterall) if im getting harassment and being cyberstalked because i posted/post art for one thing and become uncomfortable due to it im no longer going to post that art even if i do make it.
#you arent in charge of artists T T#hopefully you can find other artists that are currently drawing for that fandom to enjoy#but that s not what im about right now#and i dont think ill be touching that fandom for awhile
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