#ill be interested to look into what long time fans think of the series when i finish all this stuff

[sammyloomis]

started episode 5 (yeah im whizzin thru em) and loving the inclusion of an insane woman, its absolutely what this series needed and panders to me specifically

[defectivevillain]

broken vessels

pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Reader

reader's race and gender are ambiguous; no pronouns or physical descriptors are used. there's one mention of glasses, but that's the extent of my self indulgence.

summary:

You sit down across from Hannibal. It feels like a surrender. The food is quite good, but that realization isn’t enough to keep your despair at bay. The chain around your ankle fixes you to this room, to this meal, to this man sitting across from you. And he knows it, judging from the smile pulling at his lips.

You had no idea just how drastically your life would change after becoming Hannibal Lecter's therapist.

word count: 7.8k | ao3 version

author's notes: This fic has been rotting in my drafts for too long. The transitions are a bit choppy, but I just had to realize this into the wild. So... yeah.

The focus of this fic is Hannibal Lecter/Reader; there is no explicit romance, but I am a diehard fan of the inherent homoeroticism that is Hannibal Lecter. If you’re looking for a happy ending or romance, you won’t find it here. Also this won't be canon compliant, since Sam and Hannibal are very different. You have been warned!

And if you aren’t familiar with The Patient… Well, you’re in for a wild ride. For now, all you need to know is that the reader is a therapist and Hannibal visits them for a session. (And you should also watch the series when you get the chance, because it's very good.)

warnings: canon-typical violence, depictions of mental illness, suicidal ideation, self-harm, hopelessness, kidnapping, captivity/imprisonment, blood and injury, cannibalism

Hannibal Lecter is an interesting patient. You’re not sure what compels him to come to you one dreary morning, when the sky is muddled with grey and there is nothing but the threat of a storm on the horizon. You just know that your doorbell rings at exactly 10:00 a.m., and you open it to find a fine-dressed man with perfectly coiffed hair and an easy smile on his face. The expression is nothing short of polite, yet you feel as if there is unspeakab;e malice dripping from the corners of his lips. You invite him in and urge him to take a seat wherever he feels comfortable. The man regards the room for a moment, before sitting in the armchair you typically sit in. Unperturbed by the seating change, you move to the couch parallel to your usual chair. 

For a while, there is only silence. You get the feeling the man is surveying you, scrutinizing you in his mind’s eye. You watch him and he watches you back. While you’re content to let the silence settle over the room, after a few minutes, you decide to speak up and ask him why he decided to come for a session with you.

The first session doesn’t prove to be entirely eventful, but it rarely is. Since it’s your first interaction, you spend most of the time trying to get to know him better. You learn that the man—Hannibal—was a surgeon and is now a psychiatrist, rather renowned for his research. Idly, you have to wonder how he came across you—and why he’s giving you a chance. Surely Hannibal has access to any of his colleagues, who are distinguished scholars. Maybe he needs a break from that, you then think. 

Ultimately, your first session with Hannibal isn’t cause for concern. Your attention instead falls to your third session together, when you begin to realize that he’s being deliberately vague with his answers—and that he seems to favor dishonesty over truthfulness. 

“Hannibal,” you remark, your heart thudding steadily in your chest, “I get the sense that you haven’t been quite honest with me.” You feel unreasonably apprehensive, as if this single accusation will ruin the little progress you’ve made with him. Yet, you can’t even call your past two sessions “progress,” can you? You spent the entire time attempting to stay afloat amidst the fluid conversation, feeling somewhat frustrated and confused all the same. 

“I’ve been perfectly honest with you,” Hannibal responds. The look on his face is seamlessly calm. You’re nervous, but you continue. Therapy conducted under pretense is pointless, after all. Besides, this man knows what he’s doing. His behavior has been purposeful. 

“You haven’t been,” you say, “and I think we both know that.” Hannibal looks at you—really looks at you—for what feels like the first time. His eyes are a glittering maroon and a slight smile rises on his face. Somehow, you can’t shake the inexplicable feeling that you’ve just made a grave misstep. 

You continue to recall that third session as you stare up at the ceiling of your bedroom, your vision slowly growing fuzzy. You’re tired, but it’s taking you a while to fall asleep. Your mind is racing, recalling several different moments scattered across your lifetime that you’d rather forget. You try to focus on your breathing and, eventually, your eyes fall shut. 

Your dreams are weird—which is saying something, since dreams are usually weird. These particular dreams feel like omens for the future and, if that is the case, then your future can’t be very good. You dream of sharp mirrors, harsh corners, and neatly-carved lines. You dream of an infinite winding labyrinth that you can’t escape from, of a puppet-master watching you stumble through a never-ending maze with amusement, of your tattered visage reflected in the jagged shards of a broken mirror.

You jolt awake with a gasp on your tongue, your throat feeling extremely dry. It takes you a few moments to internalize that you’re awake and no longer dreaming. There’s a cup of water on the bedside table and you reach for it, wincing at how heavy your limbs feel. Eventually, you reach the water and take a sip. The glass is cold against your skin and, when you put it back, you nearly miss your nightstand entirely. That’s a little strange—the nightstand has occupied that position for years. Why would your muscle memory fail you now, all of a sudden? 

You swing your legs to the side of the bed, only to hear an ominous rattling sound—almost reminiscent of metal clinking against the ground. You reach down and try to feel your way around in the dark, grabbing your glasses from the nightstand and putting them on. The darkness momentarily sharpens and a sense of foreboding prickles along your skin. Your surroundings look strangely unfamiliar. Unease pulling at your gut, you reach down, down, down—only to find a thick chain secured around your ankle. You tug at it, panic rising in your chest as you realize it’s not coming off. You then push yourself to your feet and walk a few steps, testing how far the chain will go. It doesn’t reach far enough for you to thoroughly explore the unfamiliar space—just barely getting to the small room that looks to be a bathroom. Upon further investigation, there’s nothing in the bathroom that would help you get the chain off. The toothbrush and disposable toothpaste resting inconspicuously on the counter throw you off guard. Was this planned? It’s abundantly clear to you now that you’ve been kidnapped. Did your captor plan this out and configure this bathroom for a captive?

You manage to convince yourself to move back out to the main room, only to find a meal placed on the small plastic table situated past the end of the bed. You don’t recognize the food and, frankly, you don’t want to know what it is. The thought of food right now is enough to make you nearly throw up. You instead decide to continue testing how far you can move with your chain. It turns out you can’t move very far at all: you only have access to the bed, the nightstands, and the nearby bathroom. There are a set of glass doors across from the bed and hints of the morning sun illuminate the room in a hazy glow, revealing polished furniture and elegant decorations. It seems your captor has rather distinguished tastes. 

In hindsight, seeing Hannibal Lecter come down the stairs moments later is more of a shock than it should be. Your eyes widen and you blink a few times, convinced your mind is conjuring illusions. Hannibal stares at you in return, before sending you a small smile—as if sharing an inside joke.

Meanwhile, you’re panicking. There’s a good chance Hannibal is the one who trapped you here. “Hey, where am I?” You ask apprehensively. Seeing Hannibal simultaneously provokes relief and dread within you. You tug at the chain on your ankle, but it doesn’t budge. “Hannibal? Why am I here?” “This is my home,” Hannibal answers. You feel your heart drop to your stomach. It was a foolish thought to think Hannibal would be here by mere coincidence, but it kept your hopes alive. Now, you’re left to the bleak despair that clings to your ankle like a vice. “I need to speak with you.” 

It takes you a few seconds to comprehend that statement, in the wake of all the thoughts running through your mind. “You could’ve called me to book an appointment,” you eventually point out, struggling to keep yourself calm. You’re trapped here, and the chain on your ankle is extremely thick and sturdy. Not to mention, you can’t reach the door; you don’t have your phone; and you have a bad feeling Hannibal is the sole occupant of this house. How on earth will you escape? 

“This is… an ongoing concern,” Hannibal interjects. It takes you a few moments to process that statement. Then, at your disbelieving look, he continues. “Our typical environment was not suitable.” 

“Not suitable?” Panic is beginning to seep through your voice. You know you should probably be maintaining your composure, but it’s rather difficult to do so when you’re faced with the inevitability of your captivity. “What part of this environment is suitable? I have a chain around my ankle and I can’t leave!” You try to take a deep breath and manifest a level of composure that you certainly don’t have at the present moment. You look eyes with him and attempt to get through to him. “Hannibal. Take this chain off my ankle.” 

You don’t expect your attempt at persuasion to work and, indeed, Hannibal is silent. He regards you for a moment before stepping forward, momentarily fooling you into thinking he may genuinely release you. Then, he takes another step and pulls a chair out from the table to take a seat. He motions for you to take the other seat. You shake your head and remain on the bed, opting to keep as much distance from Hannibal as possible. Unfortunately, it still doesn’t feel like enough—as his eyes pin you in place.

You’re not sure how long you spend trapped in your spiraling thoughts, before you attempt to speak to your captor again. “Hannibal,” you say, trying to maintain your composure. You’re grasping at the sheets of the bed with shaking hands. “Whatever you have to talk about, I am willing to listen to you. But not like this.”

There’s a beat of silence. You aren’t deluded enough to think this conversation is getting you any closer to an escape. Instead, Hannibal regards you for a moment, clasping his hands on the table. He holds his utensils in a strangely tight grip, as if they’re weapons. The knife makes you particularly nervous, but it pales in comparison to his next statement. “You would be legally required to share the information I divulge.” Therapists have a firm code of ethics, which dictates that information must be brought to the local authorities if it involves harm to oneself or others. The thought makes an ugly feeling stew in your stomach. You inhale slowly. 

“This is your last chance,” you warn, despite knowing you have no power in this situation. “Let me go, and I’ll pretend this never happened. We can go back to the way things were. I won’t press charges or anything. Okay?” You think that’s a pretty generous offer, all things considered. 

For a moment, the air is entirely still. Then, the expression on Hannibal’s face flickers. “Would you like something to eat?” he eventually responds.

You stare at him in disbelief. It seems you underestimated Hannibal and his cruelty. Your tongue feels ironed to the roof of your mouth, and you take a deep breath before shaking your head silently. You move back on the bed, your back finding the headboard. You pull your knees up and rest your arms, clasping your hands and closing your eyes. Maybe, if you keep your eyes closed for long enough, this scenario will simply… disappear. 

Hannibal takes a bite of his food, ignorant of your internal conflict. The small clinks of his silverware against the plate are the only noises in the otherwise tense air. Even when Hannibal’s gaze is focused on something else, you feel as if he’s watching you. You don’t dare to move a single muscle. There’s an uncomfortable silence settling in the air. 

“I met with many different therapists,” Hannibal remarks, apropos of nothing. He levels you with a scrutinizing gaze. You blink and you see your head on his dinner plate. You shake off the grotesque thought. “I chose you.” Is that supposed to make you feel better? It only makes you feel more uneasy.

After some time eating silently, Hannibal gets up from his seat and takes his empty plate. You watch as he steps towards the hallway from which he came—leaving you suspicious and wary as you wait for something to happen. In the time after his departure, you’re still tense. Will he be back soon? You’re not sure how long you sit there, dreading his return. 

Eventually, after what must be at least two hours, you conclude that Hannibal won’t be returning. You decide to lie down, curling up on your side. Perhaps if you close your eyes, you’ll wake up from this nightmare. 

…But the universe isn’t that merciful, and you wake up hours later with a helplessness that clings to your skin. This wasn’t some twisted nightmare—it’s reality. And your reality is inescapable. You’re a bird with clipped wings, trapped in a gilded cage. 

Hannibal visits in the middle of the day. Your eyes follow him the moment he enters the room; as if recognizing this, he seems to take delight in moving as agonizingly slow as possible. Despite the deliberate slow pace to his movements, you recognize the show for what it is. Hannibal is a predator on the prowl. You are his prey, left baring your bleeding flesh before a salivating maw.

It’s not helpful to think about what you could have done instead of pushing him to be honest. But you think about it anyway. If you had let him have his lies, his understanding but strained smiles… what would have happened? The self-defeating part of you wants to say he would’ve left you alone, but you know that’s a desperate thought. No. Somehow, you piqued Hannibal’s interest from the moment you found him on your doorstep.

Realistically speaking, he could’ve been watching you long before that. You’re not sure if he’s the type to stalk people; then again, you didn’t characterize him as the kidnapping type at first, and look where you are now. The thought drags a wry laugh from your lips, inadvertently drawing Hannibal’s attention towards you. He motions for you to join him at the table, where he’s prepared some sort of meal. Despite your growling stomach, you refuse the offer. Hannibal only raises a brow, as if he sees your fleeting attempt at resistance and views it to be a waste of time. Your refusal does give you an illusion of control. You feel as if you have power—however slight—over this situation. 

You don’t think you’ll cave so quickly, but by the time he returns that night with a late dinner, you’re fighting off the instinct to join him at the table. As if recognizing this, Hannibal stares at you with twinkling eyes. You grit your teeth. Unfortunately, you don’t really have a choice anymore. If you want to navigate his mind games, you need to be completely focused. Your hunger and aching stomach can’t serve as distractions. 

You sit down across from him. It feels like a surrender. The food is quite good, but that realization isn’t enough to keep your despair at bay. The chain around your ankle fixes you to this room, to this meal, to this man sitting across from you. And he knows it. 

As you’re eating, you realize you’ve been given a knife. You frown and look at the meal before you. There’s meat on Hannibal’s plate, but not on yours. Why were you given a knife, if you didn’t need one? Initially, you want to think it’s just a mistake. But you don’t think your captor would overlook something like that. Nearly every action of Hannibal's so far has been purposeful, even if that purpose was beyond your understanding. It’s very hard to believe that the knife is a simple oversight. 

But the knife’s purpose doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that you have a weapon. Hannibal is well within striking range, since the table you’re eating at is rather small. You could easily reach out and stab him in the hand, but then what…? You would still have the chain on your ankle. If you dealt him a powerful blow, you could incapacitate him at the very least. You’re not familiar with knives, though, so an attempt to incapacitate him could quickly become a murder. That’s a risk you think you’re going to have to take. You’re not sure when you’ll have another opportunity like this. 

You reach out and take both your fork and knife, pretending you’re going to cross them on your plate to signal that you’re finished with the meal. Your hand doesn’t want to relinquish its awkward grip on the knife, though. Something about the blade’s steady pressure against your palm is grounding. You realize you’re drawing blood when droplets fall to mark the wooden table. Hannibal’s eyes follow the movement, as if he actually heard the sound of your blood hitting the surface of the table. He’s momentarily distracted.

So you strike. 

At least, you try to. When his attention is captured, you slide your grip down to the handle of the knife, winding back and aiming at his neck. But Hannibal is inhumanly fast, and he quickly grabs your wrist with bruising strength until the utensil clatters back to its place on the table. Your eyes meet and you see only raw, unadulterated fury. A shiver crawls down your spine as a bone-deep fear settles past your skin. You’re going to die. 

Seconds drag on and, while Hannibal is still holding your wrist, the strength of his grip slowly fades. The silence is almost more painful than the white-hot irritation of the gash on your palm. With bated breath, you watch as Hannibal lets your wrist fall. Dread churning in your stomach, you’re frozen as he leaves the room. Terror stews in your chest at the anticipation he’s leaving you in. What weapon will he choose to end your life? 

Hannibal returns moments later with a clear container. You bite the inside of your cheek and watch silently as he approaches you, setting the bin on the table before taking your wrist and studying the minor gash on your palm. Something close to disapproval passes over his face for a quick second, before it’s replaced with a clinical gaze. 

Your hand is trembling ever so slightly. If Hannibal notices, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he obtains ointment from the container of medical supplies and spreads it along your scrape—before wrapping a bandage around your hand and wrist. His movements are precise and practiced; even if you were unaware of his background, you’d know he had experience as a medical practitioner. 

“Don’t try that again.” His voice is deceptively light; you don’t need to look far to see the anger coiled in his tight shoulders. You nod silently, your throat burning as you’re overcome with your own helplessness. With that, he walks back to the table, collects the dishes, and leaves the room. You stare down at your newly-bandaged hand, a renewed anguish promptly replacing any hope for escape. That attempt just now was a colossal failure. You didn’t think you were too obvious about your intentions, but he had reacted as if he expected you to stab him. Maybe that knife was placed there purposefully. Maybe, for reasons beyond your current comprehension, Hannibal wanted you to threaten his life. 

You really don’t know what to do with that information. You settle for reclining on the mattress and closing your eyes, still fighting off that foolish hope that you’ll wake sweat-soaked in your own bedroom, breathing hard from the fictitious nightmare you just experienced. 

Not much is born from your failure to escape, save for a few things: 1) a downgrade to plastic silverware, which makes you laugh in hysterical defeat; 2) pervasive hopelessness; and 3) a need for a new coping mechanism. Planning to escape no longer seems like a productive use of your time—trying to create something out of nothing is just insanity. Instead of maniacally going through every physically possible way to escape—a list which currently has zero items on it—you find yourself meditating. 

You were never the meditative type; you had many therapists who told you to meditate on your problems, and you promised yourself that you would never give that kind of advice to your patients. Mindfulness itself isn’t a bad suggestion, but the suggestion of meditation—crossed legs, pinched fingers—always felt like a slap in the face. 

You were so desperate once that you gave it a try. Predictably, your skeptical nature prevented it from actually working. But, ironically, when you tried it again a few days later, you found that you were able to compartmentalize your thoughts better. It didn’t necessarily make you feel calm in the way everyone claimed it did, but meditation helped you sort out the seemingly infinite tangle of problems in your mental cobweb. And if that cobweb was tangled before, it’s an absolute wreck now. Trapped in a man’s basement with no means of escape is a never-ending fountain of dread, regret, fear, and stress. 

At first, you just try to count to large numbers in your head. It helps you pass the time, in a room with no other form of entertainment. You slowly work your way up to tackling actual thoughts from there, and you find that, with time, you’re able to suppress unwanted feelings slightly. It’s nothing ground-breaking. But coping with your situation is one hell of a difficult task, so you’re proud of yourself for making any progress at all. 

This meditation becomes somewhat of a routine. You find yourself retreating into the depths of your mind at least once a day, if not two or three times. It’s a welcome escape from the unfamiliar room around you. Everything fades away, until you’re submerged in an endless void. Memories flicker before your eyes in brief flashes of light, visible but intangible. 

This meditation has one flaw: it leaves you entirely unguarded and defenseless. You were preoccupied with this notion during your first few attempts, but after you returned to the empty room each time, you began to forget your fear. But losing that fear made you complacent. You soon found yourself entirely ignoring the room around you—ignoring footsteps, ignoring shadows passing across the walls. While you often returned to reality to find yourself alone… that wasn’t always the case. 

When you’re finished with meditation one night, you open your eyes to find Hannibal standing in front of you. You immediately flinch and suck in a startled breath, nearly falling backwards on the bed as you create more distance between the two of you. It doesn’t take much contemplation to understand what he’s doing here. He was watching you, observing you. You never noticed him cross the threshold of the doorway; you didn’t notice him approach you with intrigue in his eyes as he regarded your vulnerable form. You were lost in the workings of your mind palace, your eyes closed and hands clasped in your lap.

“Hannibal,” you say, when you regain the ability to speak. “You scared me.” That’s an understatement. Your heart is positively racing in your chest. Hannibal has that damned smirk on his face, suggesting that your terror only amuses him. You grit your teeth and pretend not to notice the satisfaction practically radiating off of him. 

He finally stops looming over you, turning on his heel and walking over to the table. When he takes a seat, he immediately looks at you expectantly. “Take a seat,” Hannibal verbalizes, when a few seconds pass and you don’t make a move. 

You do as requested, albeit with a lot of restless fidgeting. Whenever the two of you sit at the table and there isn’t any food, you know a therapy session is beginning. Admittedly, your interactions so far barely qualify as sessions—Hannibal has still been frustratingly vague with what he’s experiencing, leaving you with virtually nothing to give to him in return. 

This session is nothing new. His ambiguity is still infuriating, but you find yourself grappling with a newer impatience. When it becomes clear that the conversation isn’t going anywhere, you hear yourself speaking. “I thought we promised to be honest with one another.” You wait with bated breath. Hannibal looks tightly coiled, as if ready to strike at any moment. But he remains silent, which pushes you to continue. “You’re still not being honest with me.”

“Very well,” Hannibal nods. You both know it’s true. Hannibal has only spoken of ambiguous urges that nearly consume him. These urges are evidently negative and almost mirror compulsions. However, from what you’ve seen of Hannibal so far, he has finely-regulated emotional control. Is he really a victim to these negative urges, or is he their puppetmaster? Your instincts gravitate towards the latter, but you aren’t prepared for the verbal confirmation he gives you. “I am a serial killer and a cannibal.” 

You immediately scrutinize him, looking for the signs you’ve grown to attribute to dishonesty. But there is only unapologetic candor… and an almost boundless hunger. You loathe how quick you are to believe such an outlandish statement. But, in the wake of your captivity, you’ve grown somewhat used to outlandishness. After all, Hannibal went so far as to kidnap you indefinitely—it’s been abundantly clear since you woke in this room that he is not a good person. His thinly-veiled fury has always been present—it is only now that you are able to attribute it to something. 

Your gaze is then unwittingly pulled down, past his neatly-ironed suit and to the wooden table before you. You think back to all the meals you’ve been fed and you look back up at him, unable to hide your fear and revulsion. “Have you…?” You’re at a loss for words. 

“I have not fed you anything untoward,” Hannibal answers. You’re briefly grateful, before you chastise yourself for the emotion. Why are you grateful to your captor for showing you the smallest of mercies? You are still trapped here. You have been shown the most basic of human decencies: food and water. Privacy and safety are distant memories, at this point. 

“You’re a serial killer and a cannibal,” you hear yourself repeat. Your voice sounds foreign and unrecognizable, in the wake of this horrifying revelation. “That’s…” You choke out, entirely unsure of what to say. 

Hannibal tries to keep talking, but you place your hands on the table and get to your feet. The chain on your ankle clinks menacingly as you move away from the table and towards the bed. You know better to turn your back on the man, so you instead perform an awkward side-shuffle until you’re seated on the bed. Hannibal finishes his meal in silence and leaves you alone in the basement. You break down soon after. 

Each time you blink, you see eyes glazed over in death; limbs stiff and unfeeling; lips parted but unbreathing. Every morning, you’re brutally torn from your sleep and forced to wake up in a nightmare. You are rotting behind these nondescript walls and no one has seemed to notice. What of your family and friends? Where are they now? Is anyone looking for you, or have you been banished to the uncompromising soil and cold headstones in a barren field? 

You haven’t caught even a trace of happiness throughout your captivity here. Fear, unease, and desperation have forced you into compliance. There’s a constant burning sensation in your throat and behind your eyes, as you mourn for the tragedies of tomorrow. Your life here is dictated by Hannibal’s whims. And, worst of all, your death is completely inevitable. You have no sense of the passage of time, yet the threat of your end seems to come ever closer with each passing moment.

There are only so many mind games you can subject yourself to before you have to face the grim reality: you are trapped here, and you likely will be trapped here for the remainder of your life. Whether that’s several weeks, eight months, or a few years… You will be confined here until Hannibal grows disinterested. Whatever the source of his interest, one thing is certain: this intrigue persuades him to spare you. But, as patient as Hannibal seems to be, you know it will only be a matter of time before he snaps. 

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, you can hear your own bones cracking and snapping under his grip. Sometimes, in the light of day, you can see bright patrol lights reaching out to you through the screen door, beckoning you back to your life. But none of it is real. Nothing is tangible, save for the chain suffocating your ankle and the fear that keeps you from acting out or attempting to escape again.

In light of Hannibal’s confession, you feel… empty. A part of you is almost hopeful—even desperate—for an end to your confinement. That part of you longs to test the limits of Hannibal’s patience, in the hopes of breaking it and triggering the final chapter of your life. 

Safe to say, you aren’t sure what to do with yourself anymore. Everything feels completely pointless. You’re just waking up to fall asleep again the next night; eating to put off the gnawing feeling in your stomach; living to die. Each day simultaneously feels like a victory and a defeat. 

One question still begs your attention: why are you here? In your first session, Hannibal had maintained the illusion that he wanted to get better. The same can’t be said anymore: he shows no regret for the things he’s done. There isn’t even a hint of remorse in his answers to your questions, which only confuses you more. He does not want to improve. 

One particular morning, you decide to ask him. After all, you have virtually nothing left to lose. You would welcome an escape from this situation—any violence from him would only provide a merciful end to your suffering. “Why are you still entertaining all of this?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. Hannibal is entirely static as he stares at you, no hint of emotion in his eyes. You can only imagine what he’s thinking. “You don’t want to get better. You show no remorse for your victims. Therapy is conducted under the pretense that the client wants something. As you’re aware, that is often support, self-actualization, or even just someone to listen to them… What do you want?”

“I’m glad I chose you,” Hannibal says, his eyes glimmering. 

“You haven’t answered my question,” you frown. 

“Company,” he answers. 

You study him for a long moment. “Do you feel unsatisfied with your current attachments?” You ask, squinting at him. “You once told me you host dinner parties frequently. You’ve never expressed difficulties with making friends, but you also never speak about the ones you do have.” You wouldn’t be surprised if Hannibal didn’t have any friends—he doesn’t seem the type.

“Perhaps I think them to be beneath me,” he remarks casually. 

“Sure,” you say. That sounds about right, but you know things are rarely so simple and straightforward. “But then how do you fulfill your basic interpersonal needs? Are you constantly pretending?” You push. 

His silence is enough of an answer. Something ugly stews in your chest. You hate that you’re entertaining this—that you’re even pretending this man is redeemable. Yet what other choice do you have? When it comes down to it, you don’t want to die in this basement. You’ll do whatever it takes to ensure you escape that fate. Even if that means asking questions that you really don’t want the answers to. Somehow, you manage to push the off-putting words from your lips. “How do you choose your victims?”

Hannibal raises his brows, evidently surprised that you asked. He almost looks impressed. The recognition nauseates you: why are you so desperate for his approval? “I exchange business cards with people I meet,” Hannibal responds. That uneasy feeling is only increasing, continuing to prickle along your skin. “The cards of those who are particularly rude… are set aside.”

You force yourself to maintain some semblance of composure, even if you know the effort will be obvious. “And then?” Your voice is deceptively light, despite your pulse practically thrumming with uneasy anticipation. “What pushes you to make a move?”

“Anger,” he answers. His eyes gleam a foreboding crimson in the dim light of the basement. Every nerve in your body is screaming at you to stop talking, yet you continue relentlessly. 

“No,” you immediately argue before you can stop yourself. “It’s not anger.” Hannibal raises a brow, challenging you to provide a better explanation. 

You pause to review everything you’ve learned about Hannibal so far. His secretive, elusive nature suggests that he isn’t killing for attention or pride.  Sure, anger could be a motivator, but above that… “It’s boredom,” you realize aloud. “You’re bored. Very little interests you, especially when you have so few genuine relationships. Killing actually makes you feel something—an emotion you’re unable to find elsewhere.”

You’re gripping the arms of your chair hard enough to send bolts of pain sliding through your fingers. One wrong move and he could lash out at you, ending your escape attempt before it can even truly begin. “Try as you might to replicate that feeling… You can’t.”

You’re not sure what reaction you’re expecting. Yet you’re still shocked to see Hannibal smile—a twisted, malicious thing that tears your breath from your chest. You’re immediately overcome with the inexplicable conviction that you’ve just supplied the last nail in your own coffin.

“My whole life, I have been thinking…. thinking… trying to figure myself out so I can help other people understand themselves.” You say some time later, staring up at the ceiling. Your fingers twitch restlessly in the plush brown armchair you find yourself sitting in. The room is warmly lit, with bookshelves lining the walls. Across from you sits your old therapist. “And here I am,” you continue wryly, “Talking to my dead therapist.”

There’s a healthy glow to Charlie’s warm brown skin; he looks entirely at ease. “Why do you think that is?” He asks. Irritation floods through you. Charlie is just a figment of your imagination—a device your mind is using to attempt to cope with the trauma of this situation. But even this manifestation of Charlie is unrelenting, just as he once was. 

“Come on, Charlie,” you groan. His expression says, Humor me. You take a slow breath. A thump from upstairs draws you to look up at the ceiling, before you’re returning your eyes to Charlie and the space around him. “Fine. I was kidnapped by a serial killer and I have no chance of escape. No one is going to find me and I’m going to rot down here.”

Speaking on your thoughts ushers in a new sense of finality and it’s greatly unsettling. Charlie, on the other hand, is entirely unaffected. Whether that’s because he’s already dead or simply because he has a firm handle on his emotions, you’re unsure. 

You’re not sure how long you spend falling apart on that armchair, nor how long it takes for you to pull yourself back together. All you know is this unfamiliar feeling that tugs you back up above the roaring waves, pushing you to try again when all feels pointless. “I can’t die here,” you announce. The words linger in the air long after you utter them.

“So don’t,” Charlie replies simply. 

“I wish it were that easy,” you breathe. Faint traces of voices break you from your reverie and you stare at the basement wall intensely, before abandoning the gesture moments later when nothing happens. You look back at Charlie, whose eyes snap back to you as if he was also distracted by the sound. “Hannibal… He’s too perceptive. It won’t work.” You’re forced to think back to the rapidity with which he disarmed you.

You sense what Charlie’s going to say before he says it. “You don’t know that unless you try.”

“There’s no point,” you sigh frustratedly. 

“How long will you perpetuate this cycle?” Charlie asks, a worried frown on his face. “You give yourself hope, only to take it away again. You are the one in control here.” 

That’s not true. You’re not in control—Hannibal is the puppet master. But you suppose your therapist is correct, in a sense: your emotions are your own. “Fine,” you acquiesce. “I need to put an end to this. I can’t be trapped down here for the rest of my life. I need to try, at the very least.”

Somehow, the placating smile on Charlie’s face still looks smug. You put it down to your imagination. “What are your options, then?” He questions.

“Well…” You trail off. “I could fashion a weapon out of something in the room. But I’ve been downgraded to plastic silverware since the fork incident…”

“I could also try to reason with him. That definitely wouldn’t work, because he’s already convinced and can’t be persuaded. Hannibal shows no remorse for his actions and he will likely spend the rest of his life killing.”

You find yourself faced with the same troubling conclusion that has provoked your inaction. “I have no power, no authority in this situation.” It doesn’t take long for the reality of the situation to set in once more. “He’s not trying to get better.” Only in the depths of your mind, before your conjured visage of Charlie, does your voice betray the defeat you feel. 

“But he brought you here,” Charlie reminds you. You tap your fingers restlessly against the arm of the chair. “He must’ve taken you for a reason, even if it wasn’t for you to help him. What do you think that reason is?” He prompts. 

“He’s…” You break off. “He enjoys being in control and exerting authority.” That explanation sounds flimsy, even to you. The truth of the matter is staring you in the face, but you’re too unsettled to acknowledge it. 

“You’re grossly underestimating your value,” Charlie hums, perceptive as always. “You are valuable to him.” You’re unwittingly reminded of his gentle touch as he bandaged your palm; the intensity with which he gazes at you (especially when he thinks you don’t notice). You can deny it no longer. 

“Somehow, I interest him.” You say. Charlie nods; you’re on the right track. Something pushes you to shake your head and abandon that thought process. Inexplicably, you know you won’t like what you find there if you push any further. 

“I need to focus on how to get out of here,” you announce. Charlie arches a brow, but gracefully allows you to change the subject. Yet the unspoken sentiment adds a tension to the air that wasn’t present previously. You both know just how far Hannibal’s intrigue goes, yet you’re not comfortable with addressing it. 

“You’ve looked around the room,” Charlie then prompts. 

“Many times,” you acquiesce. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to look again. There are two padlocks—one on the bedpost and one on the chain around my ankle. The lock on the chain could be picked with a pin. I doubt he has a pin lying around, but a nail or something like that could work…” 

Charlie nods approvingly. You roll your eyes and willingly retreat from your mind palace, returning to the room around you with renewed resolve. That resolve slowly wanes when you don’t find anything in the main room. But when you walk into the bathroom, you realize there’s a landscape painting on the wall. It must be secured with a nail. Surely enough, when you remove it from the wall, a single nail is left behind. It looks bent already, but it’ll have to do. Studying the room, you decide to stuff the painting in the cabinets beneath the sink. You’ve never seen Hannibal use this bathroom and you’ll have to trust that assumption. Hope brews in your chest, but you can’t quite bring yourself to trust it. 

When you leave the bathroom and enter the basement, you sit on the bed in silence—waiting for Hannibal to stalk in and thwart your escape attempts. After an immeasurable amount of time spent holding your breath, you manage to convince yourself to work on the padlock around your ankle. The nail you found is rigid and uncompromising, which forces you to exert an unnecessary amount of strength to manipulate it into a suitable shape. 

The chain is rattling ever so slightly as you attempt to free yourself from it. Your breathing is extremely loud in your ears and you’re frantically fighting off the growing potential for Hannibal to walk in and catch you in the middle of the act. Your heart is thudding steadily and quickly in your chest. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. You’ve waited for this chance and you’re not going to blow it. Your fingers calloused and throbbing, you firmly maneuver the nail and the padlock finally pops open. You place it on the bed gently, before shakily taking off the manacle. Your ankle is bruised and irritated, but it’s not broken and you don’t feel too much pain. After a moment, you decide to hide the padlock under the comforter. It doesn’t really matter if you hide it—Hannibal will notice your absence regardless. 

You take a deep breath and get off the bed, stealthily walking towards the glass doors at the other side of the room. You’ve been staring through them for so long now, but you were never able to get close enough to open them—let alone see your surroundings. Now, you find that it’s afternoon—as the sun casts a warm glow on the sky. You slide the lock of the door and pull up on the interior pin, before gently sliding it. Of course, the door catches on the track and shudders—but you manage to put it back as quietly as you can. 

Your shoes finally meet the pavement and you’re free. You’re actually free. 

You take a deep breath of fresh air and survey your surroundings, only to see a never ending expanse of trees on all sides. You’re in the middle of the woods. 

Fuck. 

You had a clear plan in your mind: escape the house, run down the populated street, and find the nearest approachable stranger to ask for help. The second step of your plan has already failed: there is no street or neighborhood—only forest as far as the eye can see. It takes everything you have not to fall to your knees and cry. Crying won’t do you any good.

At first, you take silent, measured steps away from the house—afraid to make any sound. As the house shrinks in the distance, however, you break into a jog and, eventually, a full-out sprint. You don’t know where you’re going—you just hope to put as much distance between Hannibal and you as possible. (Of course, it’s likely that he knows these woods a lot better than you do. That’s only another reason to prioritize speed over getting your bearings.)

In hindsight, you wish you had attempted to sneak upstairs and steal something from his house: a wallet, a phone, a weapon, anything. But you just couldn’t risk it. Not to mention… you had banked on finding yourself in a cookie-cutter neighborhood, not in the middle of nowhere. 

You’re not sure how long you’re running. You don’t stop until your legs threaten to give out. Then, you brace yourself against a tree and try to catch your breath for a few minutes. The pain in your chest fading and your breath restored, you remove your hand from the tree and stand upright—only to see a figure a short distance from you. You squint and try to make it out. For a moment, it’s stationary and you’re fooled into thinking it’s an object. Then it moves, and you’re forced to come to a nauseating conclusion: Hannibal followed you. 

“No,” you say. “No, no, no, no.” Your shoe slides back as you step backwards, leaves and sticks crunching under your feet. You’re hardly able to believe your eyes—frozen in fear as Hannibal strides towards you. Your survival instincts don’t kick in until he’s far closer, and you immediately whip around and run. 

You don’t get far before he’s tackling you to the ground. The sharp edges of his body press into you and you try to throw him off, bucking underneath him. His grip is insistent and he stares down at you with a blank expression. You manage to pull your knee up far enough to hit him, causing his grip to slacken and giving you an outlet of escape. You shove him off of you and kick at his side, but he manages to maneuver to the side and dodge. 

Something at his side catches the light. He’s holding a knife. You’re holding your hands out in front of you, as if that will somehow stop the killer in front of you from making you another victim. With blinding speed, Hannibal is lunging towards you and sinking the knife into your thigh. You scream and manage to push him away, though your attempt at disarming him is futile. You immediately clamp a hand against your bleeding leg, gritting your teeth as stars pass across your vision. Hannibal continues his pursuit, forcing you to stumble backwards. 

“Hannibal,” you choke out, your voice thick. You think you taste blood in your mouth—probably from biting the inside of your cheek too hard. There is almost no emotion in Hannibal’s eyes, save for one confusing one: betrayal. Did he expect you to stay? “Please.” What are you begging for? Do you want mercy, or do you want an end to this madness? 

Either way, Hannibal extends his hand towards you. You’re shaking, blood dripping from your lip as you stare at him. The gesture is a peace offering of sorts: come willingly, and I won’t hurt you, he’s trying to say. You’re not so easily fooled. You never had a choice. 

You still shake your head, a pained whimper wrenching its way out of your lips. You instinctively step backwards. In the blink of an eye, the world is spinning around you and you’re falling to the forest floor. (If a tree falls in a forest with no one to hear it, does it make a sound?) You blink dazedly, your vision slowly blurring. Leaves crunch near your cheek as Hannibal draws ever closer. You try to reach out a hand to resist, but you can only twitch for moments before your eyes are slipping shut. 

When you can finally fight off the exhaustion seeping into your form, you blink past dry eyes and stare up at an achingly familiar ceiling. You push yourself up weakly, only to find yourself in Hannibal’s basement once more. There’s a sturdier chain around your ankle, and a new, bulkier padlock securing the chain. All you can hear is your ragged breathing and the awful ringing in your ears. Taking a shuddering breath, you bury your head in your hands.

endnotes: Here's some dialogue I couldn’t find a place for:

“I don’t particularly care.” “That doesn’t sound like you,” Hannibal responds. “You don’t know me,” you feel the need to remind him. “And I haven’t felt like myself in quite some time.”

Hannibal's boujee ass definitely has a state of the art security system in his home… Methinks the reader triggered the alarm system in their escape and it sent Hannibal's phone a notification…

thanks for reading!

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[mikuni14]

I Hear The Sunspot - Ep 5

I just want to say how special this series is to me. Normally the way this relationship is handled would probably make me drop this series (because I totally read them more like friends, than lovers yet, please don't be mad at me). But here comes something, I don't know how to call it, a simple sincerity? Which is something that happens not that often tbh and which proves how much properly done, honest emotion are needed in BL series not only in general, but which could aslo fill in all the gaps creating a complete whole that in the end makes me unable to tear myself away from the screen 😉

This series touches the heart and mind of the viewer. I really like the fact that the series shows Kohei and his hearing problems from a medical perspective, all this sitting and waiting in hospital waiting rooms, doctors and nurses who take care of him, making appointments, even something like replacing his hearing aid. They show him as a patient and as someone whose life largely revolves around his health problem, who must always take it into account when making every, often the most mundane decisions, as well as the stress and fear associated with the deterioration of his condition. This is not as common as it may seem, because very often illness or disability are treated only as a plot device, something that in romances usually only serves as something to connect lovers in some romantic setting, such as cute caregiving (like in the books that Miho reads), and not something that actively affects the everyday life of the characters. This really appealed to my mind, this respect for Kohei and the viewer's intelligence 🙂 (besides, it would be hypocrisy, calling out Miho for infantilizing and romanticizing Kohei and treating him the same by the plot)

I absolutely love our MLs, their interactions with each other, with their famiy - mom and grandpa, with their friends. How they receive verbal and non-verbal support. Their wide range of emotions, experiences, struggles, reflections, sacrifices. Giving in to emotions on the spur of the moment, but also thinking about them for a long time. Their kindness. And that's what really appealed to my heart 🥺

That's why, despite the fact that I missed a more clear transition from friendship to love with Kohei, I can't bring myself to criticize, because the series makes up for it in other areas.

Kohei is so wonderful, but Taichi steals the show, the actor who plays him is amazing, his appearance, behavior, body language, very pleasant voice. Taichi in his performance, demanding an explanation, crying on those stairs and then appearing as if nothing had happened on the roof to continue his relationship with Kohei and just.. stating the facts matter-of-factly, while Kohei is internally conducting an emotional Olympics… that's Taichi my best boy 🤩

Yep, a special series with a specialest boy who doesn't know his feelings yet, maybe doesn't know how to react to Kohei's kiss and confession, but KNOWS that not reacting at all, that moving away from Kohei even without bad intentions and respecting his wishes, will actually hurt Kohei. And that alone is enough for him to appear by his side, the rest will be figured out along the way. It's his kindness, sincerity and being uncompromising that doesn't allow him to leave Kohei to his despair and dark thoughts.

Kohei's mom remains one of the best in BL series, grandpa is still cool too, because he always gives Taichi space, his friends also show interest, ask questions, and they are completely cool and supportive of Taichi, just like his boss (who with that mustache looks like he's from some anime, I just don't know which one).

It's really nice that Taichi knows about the "Kohei's special burger made with love" (oh, Taichi's face in this scene 🥺), I'm glad it's not a secret anymore. Now I also ask for the "secret" of meeting with Miho to come to light.

Sooo, tbh, I'm a whore for big fan of things like "I can only hear you", or "only your touch can help me", you know the "only you and no one else" trope in love stories. That's why when Kohei said he can only hear Taichi, I was like: oooooh yeah, they're going straight for my throat. Gosh I LOVE IT. This is made just for me lol

🥺

[suffarustuffaru]

Hello!

A bit of a weird ask, so sorry in advance.

What methods/sites would you recommend using for reading Arcs 5-8 of Re:Zero?

I’ve almost finished season 2 of the anime, and I’m pretty sure this has become one of my new favourite anime/works of media in general. 

And considering I keep spoiling myself anyway when I look at Re: Zero tumblr blogs, I figured I should just find a way to catch up with the rest of the series. 

You seem smart, and have clearly read Arcs 5-8, so I was hoping that you would be able to provide some advice. 

Thanks!

NOTE; this post is now outdated esp when this was written pre-s3!! i may make a new post if people are interested

hi there!! :D no worries for the ask, its cool to have another rezero fan join in the fandom especially on tumblr (which is a very small, curated circle of a bunch of us trading posts around a campfire HAH) and i hope youve really been enjoying the anime and your stay here so far!! :o this is absolutely one of my favorite media as well (if. if you couldnt tell by the blog pfft) and thanks for the compliments haah i am glad to seem smart.

but yes i gotchu on where to read!! ill be giving you a pretty detailed explanation/guide. (this explanation also goes mainly for english speakers / people who wanna experience rezero in english.) (and of course if any other seasoned fans are seeing this feel free to add on if i miss anything or correct me if needed)

Main Route Stuff:

witchculttranslations is where you can find the translations for the entire main route (which is arcs 1-8). this page is where youll find the main table of contents for each arc and you can find arcs 5-8 there!

note that arc 8, at the time of me writing this ask, is still a work-in-progress and the team of translators in this fandom are always hard at work to translate each chapter. also note that arcs 7-8 are "conjoined arcs" - think of it like arc 7 is part 1 and arc 8 is part 2. so if you happen to get caught up to where rezero is currently at, the rezero subreddit regularly updates chat + update threads whenever new rezero novel content comes out in general. youll find updates on translations or summaries for new chapters there.

there's also distinction between web novel and light novel - web novel are the chapters that tappei releases online, light novel are the official finished versions of the chapters that are released for sale. sometimes there's changes between the web novel and the light novel, but for the most part it's either minor changes to improve on the web novel - sometimes it's major, but for arcs 5-8 iirc there isnt any major changes that you need to worry about.

just note that in the wn translations, all/almost all dialogue is written in script-style. let me show a small excerpt from arc 5 chapter 1:

???: “Good job, Subaru, I suppose.” A small silhouette enters Subaru’s view from above. A loveable girl with long, cream hair and an extravagant outfit—Beatrice. Her fluttering dress looks out of place in the meadow as she presents Subaru with a towel. He accepts it and vigorously towels his head dry. Subaru: “Ah, thanks. Was looking to cool down so this’s perfect.”

so yeah the wn will be formatted like this by the way, just in case you didnt know this yet!! i hope thats not much of a turnoff or anything, but dont worry you get used to it - and the story is still pretty great anyway!!

also dont bother with arcs 1-3 wn. its not so important (and you already know all the major info because youve seen the anime) and also arcs 1-3 wn doesnt have the Best writing. tappei himself had to make extremely major changes for the light novel and the light novel (along with the anime and manga) is the finished and polished result.

and of course the light novel comes with illustrations for each arc. the web novel sometimes includes images as well at the beginning of each chapter, but if youd like to see finished and official illustrations for various scenes throughout arc 5-8 its easy to find them if you search them up online!!

the anime also has a few bits of Important cut content from arcs 3-4 - unfortunately i dont have any resources on hand for this ;-;;; but you can look this up on rezero reddit or online in general since a lot of people have made summaries about this. from what i remember in arc 3 (which is the royal selection/white whale/petelgeuse half of season 1!), the main thing is just the reveal that al has some sort of connection to ram (and rem by extension), some sort of connection to satella possibly, and he is ALSO someone that was isekaied into rezero's fantasy world.

as for arc 4 (which is season 2 of course), the anime got down almost all of the general important info you need to know, but there's a lot of important information in the last parts of arc 4 that the anime didnt include. the anime may include this information (and the al stuff from arc 3) later, but you'll need to know it for arcs 5-8. you can find the witchcultranslations guide for arc 4 here - scroll down and youll find the chapter called Appendix: Advent!! you'll need the info in that chapter for later.

if you want, you can also read the chapters after that - theyre sorted under One Day II and are the official arc 4 interludes that take place before arc 5. i do recommend reading through them, but theyre mainly characterization stuff, character dynamics post-arc 4, everyone trying to recover after arc 4, etc etc. the most important info in there is leadup for arc 5 (all the post-arc 4 aftermath stuff) and also some info/introduction on clind and annerose (who are characters that are briefly shown in the anime for like two seconds). these two do play minor roles in arc 4/beginning of 5, but theyre hinted to be important for later. if youre in a hurry to get to arc 5, totally fine to just skim through it, get basic info on clind and annerose then continue into arc 5 or something. or you can look at their wiki pages - totally cool to enjoy rezero however you wish. it's a LOT of reading dont get me wrong HAH.

as for the manga - this is not required reading or anything, the manga has only done arcs 1-4 atm so it's not really super relevant to you since youre almost done with arc 4 already via the anime!! but of course if you havent done so youre welcome to check it out if youd like, the manga artists are pretty great imo. im just gonna show some art from the manga artists here:

isnt it pretty? :O very nice stuff.

anyway thats it for main route content!! now i gotta explain side content.

Side Content:

you can find witchculttranslations' side story table of contents here, which very neatly shows you Every Single Side Story and is updated regularly every time tappei comes out with new side content. and trust me, tappei makes A Lot of side content. i guarantee you a lot of rezero fans havent read every side story (and i still have a lot of side stories to catch up on myself), so theres absolutely no need to read every single side story!! honestly just read the ones you find interesting + the ones that are required reading! im not sure how much of the side content youve heard about, but ill give you a rundown:

this extremely helpful google spreadsheet here (thats also regularly updated) tells you how important each side story is and where you can find it so you dont have to go on a wild goose chase wondering which ones you need to read for the main story. rezero side stories are on a sliding scale of just silly stuff tappei wrote for fun to this is VERY crucial for the main story. that google spreadsheet should help you out with that - both the spreadsheet and witchculttranslations have links to almost every side story available.

(the spreadsheet also tells you important details and who it's centered around + when each side story is safe to read free of spoilers after a certain point - so it's easy to decide when you wanna read the side stories and WHICH side stories you'd like to read!)

also i guarantee you that if you have a favorite character in rezero that character Probably has a ton of side content theyre featured in - so i recommend just hunting down all their side content and devouring it whole because im sure youll have a fun time with that. a lot of side content also fleshes out a ton of side characters as well in general - people who Looked shallow in the anime ARENT shallow at all, i promise. many people have hidden depths, which is one of the fun parts of rezero!

witchculttranslations and the google spreadsheet also tell you what order you might wanna read in terms of when each one takes place. i recommend following that order for the most part if youd like, but if you wanna binge read side content or something later you can also do that after reading arc 6.

that's how i experienced the side stories myself (i started reading them after finishing up with the arcs 5-6 plot) and in a way, i would say that might just be the easiest way to do it given a lot of the side stories take place during arcs 1-6 or before the events of arcs 1-6. itll make you go "ohhh thats what was happening with these background characters during *insert event here that was focused on in the main story*" or "ohhh thats why These Guys are like this" a lot pfft. so its easier to just get out the most important ones / the ones thatre most interesting to you all in a row after finishing up with arc 6 👍

The Ex Novels:

these are THE MOST IMPORTANT side stories. :o theyll be extremely important for arcs 7-8 especially!! also because these are light novels the dialogue is written in normal narrative format so hooray for that!!

anyway theres five ex novels. i recommend reading these after arc 6 so you got them fresh on the brain for arcs 7-8.

however if you happen to be a crusch camp fan, you can read ex novels 1-3 at any time youd like!! these flesh out characters like crusch, felix, wilhelm, and theresia (some of the wilhelm and theresia content was shown a bit in season 1 of the anime!) so youd probably enjoy these even more if youre a fan of any of them. ex novel four also features felix, julius, and reinhard too, if that interests you! (as a knight fan ex novel 4 was my favorite akdndn and i loved ex 1!!). but yeah in general though read the ex novels in order (from 1 to 5 of course) so you dont spoil yourself for other ex novels, but as i said - you can read 1-3 at any time, and in general its best to read the rest of the ex novels after arc 6.

the ex novels in general mainly focus on important historical events in the rezero world and stuff that happens before arc 1. the ex novels are also our first introduction to the nation and empire of vollachia—this is also the country that priscilla is from (and al also came from there)!! you get introduced to vollachia's whole deal in these novels. youll need this info for later!

anyway witchculttranslations and the google sheet dont have links to them because theyre published + officially translated light novels that are easiest to access by buying them, so harder to get a free pdf of them. however i got you (and your wallet) covered because i got pdfs for all of them right here (if these links dont work let me know!):

ex novel 1 - crusch and felix-centric

ex novel 2 - wilhelm and theresia-centric

ex novel 3 - wilhelm and theresia-centric

ex novel 4 - felix, julius, and reinhard-centric

ex novel 5 - priscilla and al-centric

anyway thats the ex novels in a nutshell!! and of course if you want a physical copy of these books (or any of the rezero light novels in general) in english you can buy these online (sites like amazon has them) or at a bookstore. if you live in the US like i do, barnes and noble has them irl as well. or if you happen to live near a kinokuniya store, they also sell rezero irl. kinokuniya is also specifically for japanese media so i highly recommend giving it a try if you happen to be near one (i got a rezero keychain from there also hah, rezero merch is a little hard to get a hold of sometimes).

rezero light novels are also translated in a few other languages (iirc spanish and polish are some of the other languages its translated in) so if youd like that too you can look into it and buy some!!

The If Routes:

if youre not familiar with these by now, theyre basically "what if"/ alternate universe stories where subaru makes a different and Very Major choice at different points of the main route. theyre not necessarily required reading, but some do have some important lore regarding several of the characters and in general most of them are extremely important AUs for rezero that emphasize all the themes of the story. they also show the Insane butterfly effect of subaru’s decisions.

and if youve gotten this far with the anime already im gonna assume you probably like subaru at least a little bit? :o yeah his character gets fleshed out in Very Interesting ways in these routes. other characters also get changed in various ways due to his decisions!

new ifs are also released typically every year on subaru's birthday - april 1. so with every april 1 the entire fandom plays russian roulette because either the if will be a super silly one or a Very Important one LMAO.

also these ifs tend to be mentioned a lot in fandom bc theyre very beloved and interesting side stories, so i highly recommend choosing which ones you find interesting and just have fun reading them!! you can find them on the spreadsheet, if you want to read them in a more chronological order, or you can find them on the main witchculttranslations website as tabs on the side underneath Re:Zero If Stories. (but ill provide the links to each separate one in this post also.)

all current if routes at the moment take place somewhere in the arcs 1-6 range, so you can look at them either after arc 6, like i said, or in order as you read along with the main route. ill give a quick breakdown of each if just in case!!

Pride If - diverges from arc 1; subaru doesnt call for help when fighting the three thugs in the alleyway. slight spoilers for one part of arc 5 in like One Scene of pride if.

Wrath If - diverges from arc 2; subaru accepts beatrice’s offer to help in the loop where rem dies + subaru tries to run away from the mansion. very minor spoilers for ex novels/arc 7-8 (characters who appear in those arcs appear in wrath if).

Sloth If - diverges from arc 3; subaru gives up and runs away with rem instead of dealing with the arc 3 conflict. very minor spoilers (a character who later appears in arc 8 appears here).

Aganau If - diverges from arc 3; in the loop where rem dies in the cave and subaru carries her back to the mansion, he decides to go down another route away from the mansion instead. years later, he’s now older and still alive after almost everyone else has died. this if is one of the routes in the now discontinued lost in memories mobile game (and this is The Most Important route out of the whole bunch anyway). you can find a playthrough + english translation of it here.

Greed If - diverges from arc 4; subaru accepts echidna’s contract. major spoilers for arc 4 of course. minor spoilers for arc 5+ (small plot beats are mentioned iirc). a bit of important lore for characters like echidna and clind. the first edition of it can be found here - make sure to read this first. this is because this if was also given a longer and polished light novel version of it (it was a special that came with some of the season 2 blueray dvd packages?) and you can find an english translation for the extended + final version under the Blueray Novels and Databooks section of witchculttranslations' side content page.

Gluttony If - diverges from arc 6. major spoilers for arcs 5-6.

Mimigau If - this is just a genderbend au that tappei made that starts from arc 1!! almost nothing is changed besides the characters’ genders, biological sex, names, etc. i sadly dont have a link to this one, but iirc this hasnt been fully translated yet? and it's also very much not that important of an if lore-wise so you're not missing out on much. the genderbent character names are really fun though!

Lust If - this is, supposedly, an if that tappei wrote in one sitting and then decided to delete off of the official rezero wn site. this if is just an april fools joke where subaru gets a harem of various rezero girls. and imo its not Particularly Good, but it was meant to be a joke and tappei just wrote it for no reason so ig the quality makes sense haah. and also sadly that harem includes petra iirc which. yeah. not what id call great.

Vainglory If / School If - basically a canon high school au for all of rezero! not a necessary read at all but it's super silly and fun. and if you like anastasia and/or priscilla they have a lot of Fun Interactions in this one. im not sure if all of this if is english translated yet, but you can find chapter one here.

Other Various Ifs from Lost In Memories - i dont have the links to all of these, but lost in memories has a lot of other more minor aus as well, aganau if is just the most important + the darkest one. the other ifs are more lighthearted and just extra stuff for funsies. other big examples include a julius if (subaru calls for help in arc 1 and julius is the one who comes to help), a reinhard if of sorts (takes place around arcs 1-2, it's a sillier story where reinhard just keeps appearing out of nowhere to help subaru every time he needs help), and also an otto if (arc 1 divergence; subaru gets involved with otto and the two of them decide to start a mayonnaise business).

A Side Note About Rezero Video Games:

ok i know your ask is mainly about how to READ rezero but i figured i might as well explain this really quick just in case!!

there are a bunch of rezero video games and none of them are really Necessary, so dont worry about it. theyre either like - silly alternate universe stuff or theyre a bit more of the serious au variety (like aganau if, as mentioned earlier. i dont know every single rezero video game out there (and i think theres still new ones in the works at the time of me writing this??) and also almost none of them are english translated so its hard to experience them if you dont understand japanese.

the two most important ones (aka the ones with more story in them) are gonna be prophecy of the throne and lost in memories (which i mentioned earlier!). and again, these games are not necessary content - theyre mostly just side content that you can look at/watch/play through for fun and if you just wanna see more of your faves. you can check them out at any time since they dont have any major arc 5-8 spoilers.

Prophecy of the Throne - this is visual novel + a divergence of arc 3 where a new and sixth royal candidate emerges and it looks like emilia is the fake royal candidate here.... so yeah the plot is just. it's like a game of among us. but it's a fun story with a lot of different character interactions (so if you really like the entire cast of rezero youre in luck!!) and features a tiny bit of lore about some powerful groups in the fantasy world. a few of subarus failed loops in this one are also Particularly Brutal. you can watch gameplay of it on youtube or play through it yourself (i know that the game IS on steam too) since it's fully english translated (and all the jp vas and english vas reprised their roles as well).

Lost In Memories - as mentioned earlier, this is a now discontinued mobile game. iirc it was a gacha game? a sort of fighting game? and also it's narrative driven with a bunch of different routes. you can find the wiki for it here - it summarizes a lot of the main story beats. theres no official english translations for this game, but theres a lot of fan translations that you can find on stuff like youtube if youre ever interested in any part of the game. also it has a really fun opening song and animated sequence. nonoc's rezero music is great <3

A Side Note About Rezero Youtube:

theres a lot of summary videos for both main content chapters and side stories on youtube. im not sure how accurate these videos are, but i know that at the very least they can give you a brief rundown on the main points for certain chapters/side stories if thats something youd like to have!

theres also an entire team of people making a fan-run audiobook for arc 5. ive given some of their episodes a listen, and i can confirm that theyre absolutely great. you can find their readings of chapter 1-47 on spotify, and on their youtube channel theyre up to chapter 62. i think theyve also expressed their interest in branching out into other rezero content as well? :o so if thats also something youre interested in you can check them out there!

In Conclusion

anyway, that should be all you need to know - thats a summary of basically all important rezero content from here on out!! i know this is like. Super detailed. so i hope that this was helpful and didnt scare you away or anything hah. and i hope you have fun reading through rezero :o !! you got a lot of content to choose from thats for sure!!

but yeah ty for the ask, i hope i explained everything clearly enough :o !! and if you need any clarification feel free to ask!!

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

Gravity Falls Thoughts: Ford and Trauma™ (Part 01; because I know I'm turning this into a multi-part series)

So...when you start to think about it, Ford has been through a lot. Because of Gravity Falls' nature as a 2-season Disney cartoon, I feel that we've only scratched the surface of all the crap this man went through.

And thanks to the fandom...good Lord in Heaven, all the flippin' Trauma!!! Sweet Moses...

I mean, other than Bill Cipher and Weirdmageddon, Ford has a level of trauma that not a lot of people have.

Of course, Ford isn't the only one with Trauma™. Really, all four of the Pines are traumatized in some way. I mostly want to focus on Ford for now.

Now, most of the trauma Ford is given is fan speculation/interpretation. The thing is though, is that these traumas would make sense if Gravity Falls was given a more serious direction. (sort of like Steven Universe, a show that is more emotionally driven)

Okay...first things first, nutrition.

In a previous post I've made (I think it was about the Feral Ford headcanon; which I may or may not go into further detail in this series), I said something along the lines of how Ford wouldn't be all that bothered by weird looking food or could even stomach strange food combinations.

While a part of me still thinks this, another one thinks of something else thanks to reading a lot of fanfics of his essentially living off of nutrient pills.

This is from Ford having to be constantly on the move to avoid Bill's reach during his travels. I'd imagine it's a rare occurrence for him to be able to sit down and have a decent meal, either at an establishment or even hunting for food. Not only that, but you have to remember that a lot of the places he went to probably don't have food suitable for humans.

So, Ford has probably taken to nutrient pills so that way he's always on the go, among other foods he's able to preserve and carry.

The thing is, living on mostly nutrient pills could only take you so far before it could be more of a bad boon. Nutrient pills wouldn't exactly give you the appropriate amount of calories a human adult male needs. Especially if they are constantly in danger.

This can lead to some malnutrition.

Yes. I took time to research this so we can properly make Ford's life more like hell.

Signs/Symptoms of Malnutrition (according to NHS)

(Other than the main concern of weight loss and BMI being low)

reduced appetite

lack of interest in food and drink

feeling tired all the time

feeling weaker

getting ill often and taking a long time to recover

wounds taking a long time to heal

poor concentration

feeling cold most of the time

...feeling cold most of the time...

"feeling cold most of the time"

...And who wears a turtleneck sweater/trench coat combo during the summer?

And, lastly, Low mood, sadness and depression.

Furthermore, it would seem that Ford would have developed a low tolerance to actual food (other than bland, mushy stuff) and is probably incapable of eating a whole meal without throwing up.

It's a struggle to be sure, especially if Ford already has a history to forget meals, even as a child (may or may not be projecting here as someone who forgets to eat)...not to mention the months of paranoia due to Bill prior to being sucked into the Portal.

I'm honestly imagining a scene in which Abuelita (bless her soul) tries to feed Ford when she sees how skinny he is...or at least what she perceives as skinny. And no one (no one) can say no to Abuelita Ramirez. And it's Mexican food. There is absolutely nothing bland about it. And Ford does his best to eat it...only to scurry into the bathroom after three bites. He didn't mean to be rude. It was honestly very delicious. Ford's body just couldn't handle it at the moment.

At least Abuelita is understanding of the situation and becomes Stan's right hand woman on his quest to help Ford with his eating habits.

...Great, another idea for an upcoming fic...I had a title in mind but I feel like I should call it *Trauma* Ford Edition.

[lol-jackles]

Hello, I’m sorry if this gets a bit long. I’ll try to edit it down once I’m done

So, I’m not saying this to downplay its importance to fans or Jared’s truly wanting to help people, but Jared was also very smart to come out with the Always Keep Fighting campaign, no? I could be talking out of my ass I this, because I wasn’t in the fandom at the time, but as well as being brave to share his anxiety/depression with fans, it also seems smart to share it on his own terms before it could be used against him. I think I’ve read on your blog that actors with MHI are often considered a liability to a production because if they “lose it” or walk off of the project, the higher ups are screwed. But, by Jared volunteering his personal information to the huge SPN fan base (and I assume some amount of press coverage), isn’t this a good way the give himself a bit of insurance? If his bosses are starting to think he looks expendable, they can’t now act on any desire to get rid of him without him or even his fans being able to turn around and call them out for discrimination.

I’m not saying these thoughts were the reason for AKF but do you think Jared had the foresight to sort of protect himself with the campaign as well, or was it all risk for him?.

I’m asking this because I read your recent response on possible reasons Jensen isn’t as sought after as Jared post SPN, despite being the clear favourite of some crew on the show.

Jared must have an amazing reputation to overcome the possible mental health stigma, and the fact that some SPN crew seem to blatantly favour Jensen (Wanek, Phil Segricia, Bib Singer, etc).

On a side note: who on the production crew do you think favoured, or even just backed Jared over Jensen? Or treated them equally even?

Okay, this was a lot. But I’d be interested in seeing your insight on any of this (I know you’ll pick what you would prefer to focus on) because from what I can tell, you really do have a pretty good read on what was likely going on behind the scenes.

I think you’re on the right track because it was also my first gut reaction the moment the Variety article came out. For Jared to come out when his career is still hot is pretty telling, normally actor don’t admit to mental illness until their career is drying up.  It’s one less thing he has to hide and therefore one less leverage others BTS can’t use against or hold over him.   

"I wasn’t in the fandom at the time"

During the early season there were rumors circulating that Jared was always late to the set. My first thought was, "They're setting him up to have a difficult reputation". It's producer tactic 101, put out fake news that the actor is a diva who is always late and if the actor doesn't toe the line, escalate it to "difficult actor" so that the studio is not the bad guy if the actor suddenly leaves. 7 years later we find out that Jared was looking to break his contract, so the producer(s) were preparing to make him the fall guy. Once Jared stayed on, the "late to the set" rumor immediately evaporated.

I bring this up because it ties into our speculation that Jared's decision to out himself for mental illness was at least partly motivated by removing a leverage against him BTS.

It was also the right time because he proved that as the principal lead of the longest continuous genre series in America, he's not a risk because filming schedule was never disrupted, which costs a lot of money. Even when he had a breakdown on set in season 3, he still finished out the season. His subsequent breakdown after season 10 could have derailed that, but he returned for season 11 and again lead the show through it's rating resurgence. Impressed, CBS arrived two years later at his doorstep with a holding deal.

"On a side note: who on the production crew do you think favoured, or even just backed Jared over Jensen?"

My immediate thought was Jeremy Carver. He was not in favor of the season 10 Dean-centric arc that Robert Singer and Jensen were angling for, and even tried to head off their campaign during Comic Con prior to season 9. His wife is currently the showrunner of Walker. There's also writer Adam Glass, I'm not sure why but he just vibed being all about Jared.

ETA: thanks to others' reminder, I would also add Sera Gamble. I can't believe I didn't immediatley thought of her as she's one of my favorite writers.

[beesmygod]

BLOODBORNE LORE PART 8: RESEARCH HALL, MARIA, LUDWIG, AND THE PALE MOON

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6 (start of lore dump)

part 7

BLOCK #LONG POST/ TO NOT SEE THESE HUGE POSTS

i will post pure speculation in italics and important nouns in bold. these are created with the intent to be enjoyed by fans and non-fans.

---

we're back at a part of the game you actually play. all of that shit except for the fishing hamlet (and even then you don't see the raid happen) happened off screen. i had to prove it all happened to you using the stupid item descriptions and cobble together a timeline using context clues. either there's a satisfying enough thread of cohesion that can be teased out of this story in spite of its rampant and wild editing or im very ill and need to go to the doctor.

i just really like how many things have direct relations and it leaves it to you to figure out. the allure is that it doesn't spoon-feed me and trusts me to be intelligent enough/insane enough to want to figure out on my own why the hunter just did any of that. if you're actually playing bloodborne as a first time player, the plot is a series of incomprehensible and horrifying situations that makes it seem like the hunter is just stumbling unluckily into various evil rituals and happenings. the game+ system and the sheer size of the chalice dungeons encourages you to re-play the game, but this time with what little you know.

oh also when you do ng+ you'll have enough insight to see that the buildings have been crawling with enormous bug monsters the whole time. that's worth looking into. anyway:

---

Once, a young girl had an older brother who was determined to become a doctor, and so she wilfully became his patient. In the end, this led to their encounter with the Eldritch Truth, for which they considered themselves blessed.

laurence wanted to be a doctor, which makes his blindly optimistic interest in a magical blood from a hole in the ground that cures all your ailments much more understandable. this interest drove him to leave byrgenwerth with some of his associates in order to form their own research hall/church/punitive colony. he did not, however, totally abandon the eyeball-based research of byrgenwerth.

it seems yharnam has a lackadaisical approach to human rights and torture: the subjects of the research hall are criminals or heretics who cry out that they're "guilty, they know" and they "won't do/say it again". i dont think there's any reversing what they do to them, based on what you harvest out of them:

"Greyish amoeba-shaped brain fluid. Wobbles and bounces. Extracted from a patient whose head expanded until that was all that they were.

In the early days of the Healing Church, the Great Ones were linked to the ocean, and so the cerebral patients would imbibe water, and listen for the howl of the sea. Brain fluid writhed inside the head, the initial makings of internal eyes."

"imbibe water" is an incredible innuendo for "pour dirty, parasite-filled ocean water inside of their skulls" (likely using the techniques seen in the skulls of the fishing village from the previous post. just get a funnel and see what happens). makes me a bit queasy, honestly lol. also it was a huge bust, except in a handful of cases. the most significant discovery came from the aforementioned doctor's sister.

on the left is a research hall patient stock enemy. they have the emaciated, pallid bodies associated with those who experience The Eldritch Truth™ (they are, in fact, reskinned labyrinth pthumerians). some have grown into giants, some are only heads, some are friendly but insane, most are hostile.

on the right is laurence's sister, blood saint adeline. a blood saint is a woman (apparently, as all of our samples come exclusively from women) whose blood has been specially treated and cultivated to be superior in healing. adeline and a blood saint during the main game named adella both serve up blood with bonus healing (adeline's effect is superior by far). arianna's dirty vileblood increases stamina regen instead. here's all the bloods side by side with the brightness blasted up so we can see. i included iosefka in here for good measure but she is not a blood saint. it doesnt seem like the blood from the vial is hers.

blood saints are "vessels for blood", which i take to be literal. i think they are the results of a full blood transfusion of old blood. i mean, you run into some of these guys with the transfusion bags still attached to them so its a fair assumption. whatever the process, there are enemy patients with rotten track-marked arms that spew slow poison at you (as opposed to rapid poison, a different mechanic) whose transformation was unsuccessful. poisons are found in story significant places and enemies; most relevant at this moment the weapon obtained at the end of the DLC, the kos parasite, that spews slow poison. lore note: black and white healing church doctor armor sets protect against poisons. poison might have been a big problem in day to day life in that shithole of a town yharnam.

anyway, look again at the two lumps up there. adeline's head is paler than the enemy versions. the more frenzied an enemy is, the redder their head (...). check out the difference between the patients that attack you with their fists and the ones that run on all fours and growl.

remember this simple rhyme:

if its eldritch and true: its pale and blue if the blood is red, its a beast ahead. -shakespeare

this will come up a lot more later.

all this shit lead to at least SOME kind of information. the experiments lead to some interesting results, such as the notable failures who survived a grotesque transformation but their eyeless heads collapsed. there's also the patients in the lumenflower garden who have arcane magic and cast spells of "slow down your ps4's frame rate". there's some heads just oozing around without bodies. all in all, just some freaks who were on the precipice of scraping something otherworldly, but fell just short.

except adeline.

after partaking in multiple helpings of "brain fluid" (...), adeline hears/see something and transcribes it; a rune that reveals a sliver of the eldritch truth and what it means to be a "celestial attendant".

milkweed. something to be eaten to facilitate transformation.

when milkweed is equipped with the kos parasite, the hunter takes on a bizarre transformation.

okay, it's a reference to matango, but it also turns your ass into space broccoli for parasites to eat. the hunter moves jerkily like the parasite is piloting them ratatouille style. we can assume the brainsuckers operate on similar principles; parasites have some agency in this world.

---

following the events of the fishing hamlet, lady maria abandoned the hunters and took up residence in the astral clock tower above the research hall. while beloved by the patients for her compassion, she was unable to ease their intentional suffering and was driven to despair. when the hunter finds her trapped in the hunter's nightmare, she is forever in her final horrible moments. her wrists are slit.

---

lady maria's suicide drove gerhman over the edge. his "curious mania" for her was such that he buried her in his workshop (where you find the old hunter bone), made a porcelain doll of her (uhhh...), and dressed it in weird doll clothes completely unlike her real duds (O_O). and like. combed its hair and groomed it and shit.

and in his manic, feverish, obsessive grief, gerhman was heard by a sympathetic spirit: the nameless moon presence. the umbilical cord in the workshop says as such.

said umbilical cord had a different description before the patch on day one. it seems like an old description from the alpha. it reads:

One of the heirlooms used to contact the Great Ones, originating in the child of the Vilebloods. Long ago, in an encounter with the Great Ones, a contract was established, establishing the hunters and the hunters dream. Keep one to fend off foul spirits, or use it to obtain great Insight.

i find it a satisfying explanation to assume that of the many things the church pilfered from castle cainhurst, any remains of an attempted "child of blood" would be at the top of that list. it puts annalise's predicament more into focus. she has to start all over again to create her mysterious "child of blood" but with hardly anyone to serve her.

---

in the deepest depths of the labyrinth (my guess is isz, given this cut scourge beast intended for that chalice dungeon that shares a color scheme with the following items- and literally nothing else in the game), old hunter turned tomb prospector ludwig discovers three things that change his, and all of yharnam's, fate forever. the first is a sword with an initially unremarkable appearance. when called upon by ludwig, the sword would shine with eldritch moonlight, rallying his own spirits and those of his cadre of hunters who were drawn to his heroics (the sword would remain an iconic symbol of the church hunters). the second was found in conjunction with the sword; a rune meaning "guidance" that glows with the same strange pale moonlight as the sword. and third, in the seemingly eternal darkness of his closed eyes, suddenly ludwig could see tiny flecks of light dancing in his mind's eye. or perhaps, in his real eye, as the dlc he appears in establishes is quite possible (albeit with different result when a kos parasite is used). it is worth considering that ludwig's mysterious and otherworldly "threads of light" that he secretly feared were something literal, and physical, and not figments of his imagination. something parasitic from the moon that facilitated the blood thirsty hunt for a greater purpose.

this is the greatest voice acting of all time. please spare one minute to listen to the funniest "scary" horse sounds ever made

---

ok thats all for now. its a lot. this shit is complicated. i can finally get out of the stupid shit that happened before the game that we have to guess at soon. like the next post should wrap it up to old yharnam burning. i feel like my brain is melting.

[drvirgus]

The life you dreamed of

(Series)

Description: Y/n a K-pop Idol of the 5-Member Group Moonlight. But what happens when she falls in Love? How exactly is her life as an Idol and why did she become one?

Idol! Yeji X Idol! Reader

Warnings: Mention of Bullying and Suicide, curse words

Chapter 24:

Masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smiling, I looked once again into my phone camera. As usual, I was seated on my gaming chair, AirPods in my ears, and a cup of coffee in hand. I placed the cup on the desk. Legs crossed, this time I was wearing just a hoodie with the imprint of a game called Persona 5. Below, I had on my pajama pants.

"Hello and welcome back to what will Y/n do in her live this time?" I playfully said, laughing a bit awkwardly. A small sigh escaped my throat. "So, I've mentioned this several times, but I really hate doing lives alone. You guys understand that, right?" I asked as I scratched the back of my head.

"For one, there's the language barrier, although I try to speak both Korean and English. It doesn't always work, unfortunately," I said as I started to hum a bit. "Of course, I think about what exactly I should do or say before starting the live. But in my opinion, my stories are really boring," I laughed.

I tied my hair back again since it had gotten a bit longer, falling over my shoulders. They were still short, but hey, at least longer than before, which honestly bothered me.

"I've really been thinking about going to the hairdresser again. My hair has gotten a bit longer, and that's why I want to cut it. You might not know, as you probably never really saw me with long hair, but long hair really doesn't suit me at all," I said, laughing lightly. My hand wrapped around the cup again, and I took a sip.

"Also, I'm considering dyeing my hair. Not my whole hair, but... hm... rather these Oreo hairs. Like Jennie-Sunbaenim, Ryujin Unnie or Yeji. So just a few strands. The only question is, in which color? I've honestly thought about doing it in purple. What would you guys recommend?" I asked, interested, looking at the many comments.

I'm living for the idea of Oreo hair on you, just like Yeji! 😍 Please make it happen!

Your stories are never dull, Y/n! We genuinely enjoy every moment of your lives! 💖

Your lives are boring because you're boring. No amount of hair dye can fix that. 🙄

Channeling Jennie's vibes? Yes, please! Can't wait to see the transformation. 🌈

Your slightly awkward lives are what make them charming! Keep being your authentic self! 😊

You think you're unique with Oreo hair? More like a wannabe trend follower

What actually happened to the rumors? What happened with Noh Jeong-yang?

My eyes were glued to a particular comment. Almost immediately, I licked my lips. As more comments about the topic started pouring in, I took a deep breath and put on a smile, shaking my head slightly.

"Noh Jeong-Yang. She was charged and lost the court case. That's all I can say about it. I haven't personally met her, and we have no contact with each other. To be honest, I want to nip this topic in the bud. I don't want Wooyeon-ah to be dragged through the mud, and I don't want any haters to speak ill of Wooyeon," I said a bit more seriously. My smile faded as I took another deep breath.

"I don't want to sound rude or attack anyone. But Wooyeon was my best friend. After seeing people making fun of the death of Taehyung-Sunbaenim's grandma, I don't want the same to happen to Wooyeon. So, I won't be saying anything more about this topic in the future. I apologize to the fans who are genuinely concerned and sincerely hope you understand," I added, bowing slightly.

Y/n, your honesty and openness with us fans is what makes you so special. We appreciate you keeping us in the loop about your life. Can't wait to see the new hairstyle! 💇‍♀️💖

Y/n, you're just attention-seeking. Your so-called 'best friend' drama is just a stunt for publicity. 🙄

If there's a kissing scene, I'm placing my bets on Y/n and Kim Tae-ri. Sorry, not sorry! 💋 #ShipSailing

Y/n, if you dye your hair, make sure to match it with your gaming chair. Aesthetic matters! 😂💁‍♀️

Y/n trying to answer rumors like a pro! Meanwhile, I can't even decide what to eat for dinner. 😂👏

Okay, but can we talk about the chemistry between Y/n and Kim Tae-ri in the drama? 🔥 Ship sailing smoothly! 🚢

Sending virtual hugs, Y/n! We're here for you no matter what. Stay strong! 💪💕

Who else is low-key hoping for a 'Jennie Oreo' hair reveal on the next live? I can already imagine Yeji being totally heart-eyed! 😍 #YeYnForever

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astonished and with my mouth wide open, I stared at my sunbae on the stage. JYP was singing "Sweet Dreams." My mouth seemed to refuse to close. Until someone nudged me. Immediately, my mouth snapped shut, and I looked to my left. Almost instantly, I jolted back in shock.

That... That... That was... That was... PARK BO-YOUNG!!!!!!!!

My breath caught, and I immediately ignored my sunbae's performance. Newjeans had already drained all my energy as I loudly sang along to every single song. But now, my eyes were fixed on the actress next to me.

"I love you," I said, and the woman next to me heard it, causing her to look at me in surprise. Embarrassed, I felt my cheeks visibly heat up. I laughed nervously and bowed once as an apology. "I mean... uh... I know you. No, well... Um... I like you. Not romantically, I mean... Acting! Yes. You, uh..."

Bo-Young giggled at my clear stumbling and grinned happily. The older woman bowed in return as a thank you, but I ended up bowing almost three times as deep. My heartbeat quickened as the woman immediately started a conversation with me. Apparently, she knew me too!!!

Now I could die happily!

However, it didn't take long to hear that when Newjeans and JYP performed, cameras were pointed at us. Almost immediately, each of us gasped for air. I mean, everyone knew how to pose, even if you couldn't control it. Hey... at least I tried to clap.

But... this makeup... why did it remind me of Jackson Wang? Of course, only the kind ordered on Shein...

And this dress. It was beautiful.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n and the actors looked like they just stepped out of a K-drama, and there's JYP, stepping out of our nightmares. 😅

Newjeans: 🌟 Y/n: 🌟 Bo-Young: 🌟 JYP: 👻

I love how Y/n and the actors were all graceful, and there's JYP, the embodiment of chaotic energy. 🤣

Newjeans got us vibing like proud parents, and then JYP came on, and suddenly we're all sending each other therapy bills. 🤦‍♂️

I swear, during JYP's performance, we all collectively forgot how to breathe. Is that part of the concert experience?

Y/n trying to handle the shock of seeing Park Bo-Young is all of us handling the shock of JYP's unexpected serenade. 💔😂

Does he have a humiliation Kink? Everytime i see him he does something like that

"Look at this. They're roasting JYP so hard," I said, laughing as I glanced over at Yeji beside me. The redhead slowly opened her eyes. My smile faded, and I lifted my head from her chest. "Oh, sorry, baby. You're right. It's late," I said with a slight smile.

Yeji mumbled something and looked at the clock. Almost immediately, her forehead furrowed. "It's only 7 PM," the older one said, yawning. I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders. Yeji pulled me back into her arms.

"Yeah, you're right. We have an early appointment at the hair salon tomorrow. A bit of sleep won't hurt, huh?" Yeji sighed softly. Amused, I snorted. My arms wrapped around the taller woman. The blanket was warm and heavy, making it easy to relax.

Yeji was the first of us to fall asleep. My smile grew as I observed the sleeping face of my girlfriend. My heartbeat pounded in my throat. It was unbelievable that I still felt so excited...

"Goodnight, baby."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smiling, I stepped out of my manager's van, Yuna closely behind me. I extended my arm to the woman behind me, which she promptly took. After all, she was wearing high heels. Yuna looked at me with a smile. "It feels like we're going to an American prom," Yuna said, laughing lightly. I couldn't help but laugh too.

Since we arrived, photos of us had been taken repeatedly. I smiled into the cameras. Yuna still clung to my arm as we slowly entered the building. I led Yuna, and of course, myself, to one of the tables. Yuna's mouth opened in surprise, and she automatically moved closer to me.

"Oh God... Is this a VIP party? I know almost everyone here," Yuna exclaimed. She squeaked a bit when she gripped my arm tighter. Wincing in pain, I hissed, "Calm down first. Let's find our table first. Which letter do you have?" I asked, and Yuna looked at me. She let go of my arm, "J," she replied, and my eyebrows almost shot up.

"Oh. Are we not sitting together?" I asked, and Yuna also looked surprised. Sighing, I smiled nervously. God, I hated sitting next to strangers...

I immediately extended my arm to the younger one, which she promptly took. Slowly but surely, we strolled to her table. On the way there, we casually greeted everyone. Orange hair immediately caught my eye, and my mouth opened. Yuna grinned widely and immediately sat down next to my girlfriend.

"Yuna, let's switch," I immediately suggested. A nervous smile on my lips. "No. You spent time with her yesterday and this morning! Now it's my turn," the younger one said, laughing. Yeji also laughed, so I looked at her. A small smile on my lips.

"Hey, sexy. Nice hairstyle," I said, winking, which made Yeji laugh even more. She licked her lips once, "I could say the same to you," Yeji replied with a small grin on her face. But my eyes fell on her outfit, and I gasped. Almost automatically, my hand landed on the table as I leaned slightly towards the person sitting.

"Hwang Yeji. Do you want to send me to the grave?" I asked, making Yeji tilt her head, grinning broadly. A laugh escaped her, which she tried to cover with her hand. "So? Do you?" I asked teasingly once again. However, Yeji stopped smiling, her fingers around my elbow as she looked deep into my eyes.

"Not yet. It's way too early. Not until you become a Hwang as well," the older one replied, leaving me speechless. My heart threatened to jump out of my chest, and my entire face turned bright red. "Oh. Are you blushing?" she asked in a deep and sexy tone.

"Yeji-ah," I complained a bit louder, which only made Yeji laugh even more. Goosebumps ran over my entire body, and I straightened up again. "Move. That's my seat," I heard someone say to Yuna, and I had to start smiling.

Ryujin also smiled at me as Yuna looked at her with her mouth open. "I'm table J," Yuna replied, but Ryujin shook her head. She pointed to another table. "There's your seat," the older one said, and almost immediately, Yuna pouted. "Oh, come on... I never get to see Yeji-Unnie," the younger one complained as she slowly stood up from her seat.

But my eyes returned to Yeji, and I smiled. "I should find my seat now. Shall we go home together?" I asked, and the older one nodded immediately. I nodded as well and sent her an air kiss as quickly as possible, then disappeared from her table.

When I finally found the letter of my table, I sat down immediately. I felt someone hit me with a bag, so I looked at the person next to me with enlarged eyes. It was Karina from Aespa.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" the older woman asked, and almost immediately, her hand landed on the back of my head. Nervously, I laughed and waved it off, "It's okay. It honestly just surprised me a bit," I replied as calmly as possible. The woman next to me sighed in relief and sat down.

Next to her was Namjoon from BTS, which honestly made me nervous. Immediately, I grabbed my champagne glass and took a big sip. Immediately, I heard Namjoon chuckle. He also held a glass, occasionally taking a sip from it. "Let me guess," he said, humming. His eyes on Karina and me.

"Extroverted?" he asked, pointing at Karina. "And you're probably introverted," the older man said, causing my mouth to open slightly. Karina immediately agreed, while my eyes narrowed a bit, but I started to nervously laugh at the same time. "Um... how did you figure that out?" I asked, and Namjoon laughed again.

"You're clutching your glass as if your life depends on it," he replied, making me blush even more. Karina now looked at me with a smile, "What percentage?" she asked interestedly. Clearing my throat, I placed my glass on the table and looked at the two idols. "96," I replied, which seemed to shock both of them.

"Don't worry. We'll take care of you," Karina said, laughing slightly, and she immediately wrapped her arm around me. My face turned even redder as I simply started to smile.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Laughing, I glanced at Karina and Namjoon as the three of us started to dance. We swayed to the music, each of us holding a drink. My cheeks were already a bit red from all the alcohol I had consumed.

Perhaps I was already quite tipsy...

"I'm going for a smoke," Namjoon said, and my eyes widened a bit. Karina just nodded it off, but I held the older man's arm firmly. "What about the cameras?" I asked, which made Namjoon laugh. "Don't worry. I found a good corner. No cameras there," he replied, and I immediately nodded. "I'll come with you," I said, causing Karina's eyes to widen.

Relaxed, Namjoon and I headed to that quiet corner. He grabbed a cigarette and lit it. He noticed my look and offered me one. "Thanks. I don't bring cigarettes to avoid smoking, of course. You know... for female idols, it's still a bigger scandal," I sighed as I lit my cigarette.

"I know. I hate it too. But that's how it is. Everyone... has some opinion about you. The problem is you can't make everyone happy," the older man replied as he exhaled the smoke.

We continued to talk about how unfair it all was and how sexist it is. Namjoon also told me that he was reading a feminist book, which honestly surprised me. It was nice to talk to him. He was smart and patient. He let me speak and followed my thoughts.

Together, we all returned to the party, and almost immediately, I noticed Karina taking photos with some people. However, my eyes immediately fell on a bundle of orange hair. With a broad smile, I went straight to her, my arms around her waist.

The older one startled and turned to me. Simultaneously, she also wiped away my grip. My mouth opened in surprise, but Yeji immediately relaxed when she realized who was touching her. A laugh escaped her throat as she looked at me.

"You smell. Have you been smoking?" the older one said, her tone a bit more serious as she scrutinized my entire face. I visibly swallowed nervously and took a step away from her. Yeji sighed irritably, her eyes now slightly narrowed. Karina was right by my side, her arm around my shoulder since she was taller than me.

"Oh, Yeji. You know Y/n?" she asked, visibly surprised. Yeji glanced at the arm around my shoulder and then at Karina. "Yes," she replied, and Karina chuckled. Her fingers pinched my cheek. "Isn't she sweet?" Karina said, laughing lightly. I smirked, causing Yeji to narrow her eyes even more.

"Are you drunk?" the older one asked, looking at me. I just smiled even wider, trying to appear sweeter. Yeji took a deep breath and looked at me, her eyebrows tightly furrowed as she still noticed the arm around my shoulder. Karina didn't seem to notice at all.

Unfortunately, I didn't notice it either. Karina's body leaned against mine, and she just grabbed my glass, drinking from it without asking. Nervously, I swallowed when I immediately noticed Yeji's expression. Even Ryujin noticed this. "Karina, let go of Y/n," the slightly older one said, looking back and forth between Yeji and Karina.

"Why? She's so warm and sweet. Almost like a teddy bear," Karina said, visibly amused. I felt Yeji grab my wrist. "We should go home," Yeji said, her voice quieter. I nodded immediately with my head. Ryujin also grabbed Karina immediately and whispered something into the older one's ear.

I swallowed. "Are you... mad?" I asked, now a bit quieter as I approached her. Yeji took another deep breath, her hand in mine. "You said you'd quit smoking," Yeji said a bit softer. I pouted immediately. "I'm sorry. But I swear I haven't smoked all day," I replied now more seriously. Yeji smiled slightly.

Her hand still in mine, she said, "Let's go home. I want to spend some more time with you. Just you and me." The smile on her face made me smile too. I looked around. "But... can we stay a bit longer? I... would honestly like to have another drink," I replied, causing Yeji to start laughing.

She nodded her head. "But not too much, okay? I don't want you to fall asleep," Yeji said, smiling. Almost immediately, I heard Ryujin and Karina gasp for air. Both seemed to have heard it.

"Asleep?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. Yeji just smiled. "Oh. And no more flirting," Yeji added as she lightly squeezed my hand and then let it go.

Karina, Namjoon, and Y/n hanging out together? Squad goals! 🌟

I love the camaraderie between these idols. It's heartwarming to see them having a good time!

The way Y/n flirts with everyone is so cringy. Can't she be more professional?

I ship Y/n with both Yeji and Karina, they look so cute together! 🚢💕

Ryujin needs to mind her own business. Stop interfering. 🤦‍♂️

Karina and Y/n dancing together is ICONIC! Friendship goals, seriously

Why is Yeji acting like a jealous girlfriend? It's just annoying. Y/n can handle herself, she doesn't need a babysitter

Ryujin and Karina witnessing the drama like they're watching a K-drama live. Can we get popcorn?

Ryujin playing matchmaker with Y/n and Karina. Is this a new idol ship? #KarYn #MatchmakerRyujin 🚢💖

Namjoon diagnosing Y/n's personality based on how she holds a glass is peak Sherlock Holmes material

[velvetwyrme]

ouuaauauagaha i just got home and i was so sad the whole way back :-(( I can't articulate what i feel but dee (??) and pax DDD: their friendship :'(( i love whatever they have it's so GRHRHHHGHH the animations and visuals are sooo pleasing to the eye and so good auauaga the choreography of the fight scenes are so ?!??!!$(#((#($? also sooooo foul for that sentinel keychain omg id get one if i could lololol

im so happy i watched tfone i loved every single second of it (my faves r bee and dee auauuaah) i rlly wanna know where to go after this movie what do you recommend reading/watching after?? :00

YAAY IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT!! And yeah!!!! TF One is inherently kind of a tragedy since it's a prequel... Orion Pax/Optimus Prime and D-16/Megatron's dynamic before the war hurts me so 😭😭 my little HEART...

Omg yes the fight choreography 💖💖 I especially loved how they included their transformations into the fighting scenes (even more so because some of the specific transformations were ones they had trouble with at the beginning, and now they've learned how to use them and I thought that was pretty neat! is it obvious I've seen thsi movie 3 times now rhdkfbdkfbk)

And thank you ;]] I aim to be extremely ill about characters always. Sentinel. Oh, Sentinel...

Bee and Dee my beloveds!!! 🤝 I was surprised that I liked Bee as much as I did in this- he's the comedic relief but I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...

and. OH GOD. WHAT A QUESTION.

I've stuck the rest of this post under the cut because if you've been following me for any amount of time you know how wordy I can get 😔

==========

So. you have multiple options because Transformers has a truly ridiculous amount of TV series and some really REALLY good comics.

Transformers Skybound (Comics)

I can only really vouch for the ones I've watched/read, but here are my general suggestions for where to look next! There's also a tl;dr at the end in case you looked at this and just went "oh god"

Additional note: mmmmost of these series have their own idea of what pre-war Cybertron (and subsequently, Megatron and Optimus' origins) looked like, so if you're expecting a continuation of the story from TF One uhhhhh apologies u_u

First off: the current ongoing comic series!

If you want more action, more violence, and also so much more sadness, definitely go for this one. It's gutpunch after gutpunch after gutpunch. Since it IS ongoing however, only time will tell what how the storyline/s will turn out ^^" I think it's pretty good so far though!

However, if you're also intending to eventually look for fanmade content, this series has less of a dedicated fanbase, especially when compared to...

It's easy to get into, but it's also relatively short (especially in comparison to the other suggestions) since it's up to... Issue 13 at the moment? That's still a decent chunk to sink your teeth into!

Transformers (2005) // IDW1 (Comics)

The IDW comic run of Transformers :]!! It's REALLY REALLY GOOD. It ran from 2005-2018, so it's also really, really long.

It can be a bit confusing in terms of order, but luckily there are several reading guides - ONE MORE which I would have loved to have known about when I started reading LMAO IDW1 tends to jump from story to story, which can get a bit confusing, but also it does so in such a way that ties plots together in really fun ways.

Some people will tell you that you can start off with the More Than Meets The Eye (MTMTE) series which is... probably true! It's a fan favorite series, and rightfully so. Also, I think the characterisation of Megatron in MTMTE is really interesting!

I tried starting at MTMTE and just went "HEY. This is set after the war though! I want to know about the war and all that stuff!" and so I ended up reading literally Everything else that comes before it. Which is a lot. I smashed through most of the 420+ total issues in under 2 months because I'm insatiable though.

Transformers Prime // TFP (Animated Series)

Another recommendation I saw for testing the waters (taken directly from a reddit post I saw while locating the guides) is to try reading Last Stand of the Wreckers and the sequel, Sins of the Wreckers, or Megatron Origins and Spotlight: Megatron to kind of get a feel for the sort of thing you're getting into.

My personal suggestion would be to follow this reading guide if you decide to read the comics! Mostly because the person who made it included notes, and as evidenced, I love notes. Theirs are thankfully much shorter than mine.

Another fan favorite! It's an animated series that takes things in a more gritty direction, but I think it does it really well! Maybe. I haven't... actually watched it, which is funny because it's technically what got me to finally check out Transformers.

You might have seen me reblogging a certain Pointy Black, Purple and Faceless guy sometimes. He's from this series.

Transformers Animated // TFA (Animated Series)

And lastly...

TFA is a standalone series (as in it has minimal ties to the lore/continuity of other series) which is the main reason why I'm recommending it. The secondary reasons are because it's really fun and it's the series I grew up watching lol. I'm biased!! I like it a lot!! I would probably suggest one of the other options on this list to start off with, but I really like TFA... ;u;

.......... Fanfiction.

This, in my opinion, is The Best Way to get familiarised with characters.* ...I'm serious about that, and only slightly less serious about this being a suggestion of where to look next lol.

*Well, this plus TFWiki, which is genuinely the coolest wiki of all time. There are jokes and silly jabs while still being incredibly informative!! I love it!!!!

Other options that I can't personally vouch for, but have heard good things about:

Anyway, this is ACTUALLY how I got into Transformers. I kept reading TF fanfic and furiously googling characters appearances because I like giant robots, then I fell in love with Soundwave from TFP, and then I caved and read IDW1 as my proper introduction to Transformers lol. I think it's fun to do it that way, but I know it's not for everyone lol.

Earthspark is one of the newer animated series, and apparently it's pretty good! The second season less so (...?), but it seems to have been a pretty good jumping on point for a lot of people.

TL;DR: suggestions, in no particular order:

Cyberverse is another animated series, and it's pretty cute! I watched the first season and some of the second. Apparently it gets better in the later seasons- more plot heavy and interesting ^^!

If you're so inclined there's also always the Original G1 cartoon, which is fun! If you like cartoons from the 80s, just jump in idk. I've watched some, I think it's neat.

There is also the Transformers (2019) or IDW2 comics which was a reboot done by the the same publishers who did the 2005 series (thus IDW1/2) with a different and much more... streamlined story to follow. I haven't read that yet, but I've heard it's good! It got cut short because they lost the licensing though :(

==========

Comics:

Transformers (Skybound)

Transformers (IDW 2005)

Transformers (IDW 2019)

Animated Series:

Transformers Prime

Transformers Animated

Transformers Earthspark

Transformers Cyberverse

Misc.:

Fanfiction...? (I'm making a fic reclist anyway so I thought I might as well include this as an option lol)

Good luck! Enjoy! Tell me what you decide on, if you so desire!!!

Would you believe me if I said this is me specifically holding back from talking about each series? Because this is me holding back from going wild and talking abt each series.

I was going to make a flowchart, but then decided that would take too long. And then I wrote this out and took too long.

[heart2beom]

hiii! i hope ur doing okay <3

i was wondering what writers you would recommend that have a similar style (romance and comedy) to you since i'm new on tumblr :'P

omg wait this is sort of sweet 😭 i dont really know what my 'style' exactly is, BUT i have been waiting for this exact moment!!!! (ranting about my favorite writers my favorite beings in the world and fangirling bcs that is clearly in my nature)

OKAY OKAY LETS DO THIS!!!

i recommend

-> @jjunis

first writer i got into when stumbling upon moablr!! LITERALLY THE CUTEST SMAUs (i know i dont really make those but i swearrrrr give her soobin one a shot its so ROMCOM-ESQUE) AND all her oneshots are fluffy and cute and and

my favorite piece from them is their beomgyu smau (bcs im a struggling bamtori that eats up anything beomgyu) my beloved GHOSTING. its on hold but its soooooo fucking good, like slow burn at its core and i LOVE it. its not romantic yet but i swear its sooo worth it, the topics it tackles and the character development and the effectiveness of the flashbacks and how real each character feels ...this is the IT smau!!!!

-> @tqmies

i held off on reading for soooo long even when i found each and every summary of her fics sooooooo interesting but then one day i had free time and decided i should finally tackle my reading list and !!!!

i soooo recommend each and every fic, like its all SO good??? FOR WHAT??? so easy to read but her vocab isn't limited, and i just love that balance so much. everything is good. i recommend EVERYTHING.

but if i had to choose ONE, just ONE thing to recommend, it would be love again because i am a whore for best friends to lovers and this was the most perfect beomgyu b2l ever.

-> @minastras

um if mina isn't one of the best writers on moablr then who is????? i'd recommend for starters her yeonjun fic mr. vice president literally captured the essence of academic rivals to lovers arc so well (ill fangirl over this more on my official rec list bcs i have a lot to say but trust!!! minas the writer you're looking for)

also has a cute ongoing taehyun smau, read that too!!!

-> @tyunlatte

the most adorablest, cutest, tooth rotting fluff i squeal over their fics. im still going through their masterlist but FUCKKKKKKK everything ive read so far is SOOOOO good. also totally someone worth following, my dash is blessed every day they're the cutest!!

i'd personally recommend her entire drabble event, but my favorite has to be stay stay stay because im a pureblood swiftie and i love soobin my heart hurts

also ALSO recommend cool hot sweet love. i'm the biggest sucker for love triangles (i mean hello, two cute boys fawning over you??? sign me up ????) and the fact that we get both endings????? hail the great alex!!!

-> @hueningshaped

i can't even pinpoint one fic i'd recommend, literally just go through their entire masterlist it's all so fucking well written (hello if u see this i literally freaked out when you followed me back ur literally my idol, i am your #1 fan rereading everything youve written forever)

-> @ijhyo

absolutely insane writer, blessed this site!!!! i'd recommend their slasher series (can't find the link but im sure youll find it). i know that isnt necessarily romcomy but it was so good (i guessed the insane bitch correctly and therefore i will forever love the series for making me feel smart!!!!!)

OMG ALSO THEIR BEOMGYU FIC!! how to get the girl! once again, i am a whore for b2l.

-> @beomgyuslilracha

i havent read an entire series yet but from what ive read so far..ugh pls beg them to be a scriptwriter i need her fics on my screen, on NETFLIX, ON HULU, DISNEY+ whatever!!! plz pull a 50 shades of grey

-> @gyu-xiao

they only have three things for txt but each one of them is so good, i squealed over each fic. my favorite hyuka fic comes from them!! had me biting my knuckles trying not to scream like damn 😭

okay these are the writers i could first think of 😭 i swear i feel like i forgot three or four but oh well, enjoy your tumblr cruise 🙏

[daemonace]

hellow!! i rly like the way u characterize sirius in your posts and i was wondering - if u do recs - do u know any wolfstar fics (long possibly) which have that portrayal of him? i love the way sirius is in tcoptp and atyd and im looking for a similar vibe. but ive not read any fics like that since:/ thank youu❣️

Hello Kind Anon,

Thank you for the ask! Unfortunately, I'm probably not the best person to recommend fics as I haven't read very many Wolfstar fics in the past few years because I'm so picky about how Sirius and Remus are written. I have a hard time finding Wolfstar fics that meet my Sirius-standards! And huge confession... I haven't read tcoptp (yet! it's on my list!) and I didn't like ATYD's. Blasphemous! I know. I tried.

If I haven't completely turned you away at this point and are still interested the best I can think to recommend is down below,

What I am currently reading, The MapMakers by Dizzy_Bird. So far it's lighthearted and enjoyably chaotic.

Fics that have been recommended to me that I haven't read yet but look promising:

Fairytales of Yesterday, by padfootandprongsy

Ripples of Light, by moonlighthowl, this one has Death Eater Sirius.

Fics I have read: Operation Toebeans, a short but funny story. Sirius is hilarious and I appreciate his dedication to the cause. While more lighthearted it does have some serious moments.

Text Talk by merlywhirls is a muggle AU where Sirius goes to boarding school and Remus has a chronic illness, and they meet when Sirius texts the wrong number. I think about this fic a lot and re-read it often. I would probably recommend this one the most if you like ATYD's.

You should also look up the Shoebox Project by Jaida and Rave, if you haven't already. It's the building blocks of the old Wolfstar fandom. Written as a series of letters.

I know you asked for Wolfstar but I also highly recommend The Last Enemy series by CH_Darling. It's slow building Jily centric with even slower building Wolfstar. It's by far my favorite fic and contains my favorite ever characterizations of the Marauder boys, most especially Sirius. He's cool, smart, suave, an arrogant ponce, and a bully. Lily actually reminds me of ATYDs Remus (I think? lol), which you might enjoy. This fic probably matches the vibe of ATYD's most, just with Jily at center stage. I took a chance on it while looking for Wolfstar fics and I am so happy that I did, even if Wolfstar is but crumbs so far.

These probably aren't exactly what you're looking for but like I said I'm kind of picky. Happy fic hunting!

(p.s. highly recommend Leslie Grace on Tik Tok, she makes awesome Wolfstar edits, and I believe she's an ATYD's fan. Her Sirius is very Sirius! I'm obsessed!)

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

Zan Partizanne :)

First impression:my amino bestie told me briefly abt her but since i didnt own a switch i ended up getting 3DS team clash, so we immediately went to talking abt taranza lol

Impression now:if the last seven months ever since january 14th havent left this clear enough for anyone i am absolutely utterly obsessed w her.shes my everything my girlie pop my poor little thing my funny mean girl my silly rabbit.if she were in any other franchise shed be up there in utterly inherently doomed characters.shes so lucky shes in the friendship game series.

Favorite moment:i love the silly pose she has going on before her first boss fight, but the cutscene after it is so funny, but also the scene where hyness smacks her away is literally the defining moment in leaving KSAs relationship theme clear.can i say everything i have seen i wanna say everything i have seen

Idea for a story:theres soooo much stuff you can explore w her...her overly attached relationship w hyness, her backstory w the suicide attempt n its relationship to her ending up the most loyal member of a cult, why shes so rude towards others on the official twitter, her postgame development after being in a death cult for god knows how long, her relationship w her sisters seeming a bit one sided depending on how you read her never being bought up when it comes to the other two, shes so cool n interesting i love her.sm to think abt.perfect for autism

Unpopular opinion:i kindaaa.feel ppl take her rly at face value in a way ngl? i feel shes just the "the serious loyal one" in stuff p often (or the mean one but i forgive that bc zan being mean is hilarious) idk the lack of attention to the degree of loyalty she actually has to the point of tolerating anything hyness does to her just annoys me a bit.yeah shes the loyal one but not to a good nice healthy degree !!! (ik its ironic to complain abt how the cult in general is portrayed by fans after ive mostly complained abt the ppl that straight up ignore them but i am annoying n never satisfied X3)

Favorite relationship:from canon its gotta be w hyness.bc its so bad LMAO.absolutely utterly unbalanced n unhealthy, once again the peak of KSAs relationship theme, from kirbys neverending friendship that helped former foes improve as ppl to zans one sided love n loyalty for a man who treats her like garbage bc he saved her years ago.the themes man the themes.he literally sacrifices herself after throwing her n her sisters around like weapons n girl was still there looking for him in the extra mode.the standards r underground for you miss partizanne.

for "would it be cool if they interacted or what?":taranza n susie tbh.taranza parallels her story w hyness through his own w sectonia n susie is the absolute opposite of her, so i think either of them would give a rlyyy interesting conversation.guy who was just a little less loyal to the point of realizing when it had gone too far (tbf it took sectonia trying to kill him.which still leaves taranza w higher standards than zan lmao) n girl who pretended to be loyal so bad when she hated her boss the whole time n took fixing his behavior into her own hands.theyre such a fun little trio of fucked up ppl

Favorite headcanon:instead of a serious one ill just say im never giving up my insistence to draw her w yellow eyes hyness get her n flamberge contacts right fucking now.why do the sisters all share the exact same eye color.susies similar looking n theyre blue too r they part of some blue eyed species whats going on.why r they blue kumazaki why did you do this to me

[iwillalwaysbealone]

Underrated VG Characters who'd make great Whump inspirations.

These video game characters are underrated. Especially when it comes to fanart. I'm not a local in the whump community but I am a video game researcher, and since I've heard about people who write sickficks etc and seen some fanart. I was thinking of sharing some ideas of what new characters people could use their imaginations on who have been unwell or are carers for other characters who get sick/injured.

So far 🤔 I've seen that cute characters are more popular. Especially ones that are attractive. I can relate to the preferences. I especially prefer male characters myself.

Feel free to read on if you're interested. Also don't worry. I'm not going to get too dark or put anything gory. I've been studying a little of what the Whump community is and what they like.

CR-S01

First candidate is CR-S01 (His actual name is Erhard Muller which was revealed in the official Famitsu-released Japanese guidebook of the game) is a surgeon who is one of the main protagonists of Trama Team for the Nintendo Wii. The game is also made by Atlus, the same company who made the Persona series.

CR is a prisoner for a crime he didn't actually commit. He was given temporary release to resume his career as a surgeon for reduced sentence time. He's a very kindhearted young man, despite being a prisoner he values the lives of others and will do anything to save them. His skill as a surgeon astonishes everyone else in the hospital and even outside of the operating room he is shown to give support to anyone who is injured or sick. One such example was when a man suddenly collapsed from a terrible illness in the hospital waiting room, CR immediately went to him and carried him off to treat him even though he was being chased by the FBI.

Every single time he finishes an operation he says the phrase "Let this disease pass from this world..."

Vertin

Next we have Vertin. A young girl who is also the timekeeper in the mobile time traveling game Reverse 1999.

She also represents the player especially when you interact with other characters.

In the story at one point she goes through a special treatment therapy where she's placed in a coma so that her memories are monitored. By this point other characters are shown to really care about her well-being, not only looking on through the window with anxious looks while she sleeps but even going as far as to smash into the room to set her free.

Even though Vertin picked up most of these random requits from different points in time. Trey grow a strong bond towards her. R 1999 has a wide range of interesting characters that may have crushes on other characters.

Matilda×Sonetto

X×Regulus

Schneider×Vertin

It's definitely a place for fans of character shipping. The game is free to play as well! It's a hidden gem of a game underneath massively popular anime mobile games.

Plus I'm a Medicine Pocket main. There actually was a time where they called for medical help as they were worried about a young boy scientist Ezra who risked his life climbing a freezing mountain to get a specimen for his exhibit. Despite Med being arrogant most of the time and self absorbed in their own science passion, they actually do care about some people to the point of calling for aid to rescue them as they hadn't heard from them for a long time.

These are only a few ideas so far. So please let me know if you are interested in any more. I just wouldn't recommend following me... As I'm currently not in a good place and my blog is full of rubbish from my own venting besides I'm too much for most people lol, you'd need a very strong mind and tolerance to in-depth personal venting and negativity if you even want to look at my blog. So yeah. It's not for the easily offended or those who feel uncomfortable easily by others misfortune in life.

Aside from that. I hope these help. I am not a fan artist (not anymore) and I'm more into creative comedy writing as well as gaming stuff.

[suffarustuffaru]

Have you read one fanfic on AO3 titled Re:Incarnated? One of the most interesting and new aspects of this story for me was Subaru being reborn as a half-elf by Satella. I bet no one has ever thought and acted on that idea before, but there are some questions that bother me, for example, in the canon series there are moments where Subaru relies on Earth's modern technology and knowledge to solve difficult problems, Subaru becomes a half-elf in the world of Rezero and that means that he forgets about his previous life on Earth in Japan, and then when faced with the same dilemma How should Subaru solve it? But I feel these questions should go wait for the original author's update to get answered.

I have to say that fic opened a new door for my inspiration, and I also started to think about creating my own Subaru's elf or half-elf AU, and even imagined a crossover with Lord of the Rings (after all, there's a ton of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter crossover fics on AO3 and fanfiction) Like one day Subaru is for whatever reason transported to Middle-earth by Satella accidentally and experienced something there, and then how he was found and adopted by the elves of Middle-earth, I think it would be very interesting how the elves of Middle-earth were surprised to find out that elves existed in the Otherworld, Subaru looks similar to them but differs in a few places,and then how Subaru got along with the elves of Middle-earth, and how he explored his own existence and self-worth,how would it be different than the canon series (My half-elf Subaru's character isn't too far off from the canon) Sorry I'm getting a bit carried away, I'm an incorrigible and extreme fan of crossover tropes, I hope you don't mind too much!

yoo sorry i took so long to reply to this ask but please know im delighted to see any asks in my inbox and pfft its interesting hearing about what people are thinking + what they find interesting themselves!!!

as for re:incarnated - i read a chapter or two AGES ago, so i really dont remember much of the fic sadly T^T but ill consider possibly going back to it and reading through it!!! i have a very long to read list though so ill see pfft. and yeah i think that fic was def like. one of if not the first fic to have like half elf subaru as an idea be explored and it also shows a Different method of the isekai trope (being reincarnated!!!) which is fun i think!! plus like. putting "re:" in fic titles is EXTREMELY extremely common in this fandom which i suppose makes sense given. the source material is called rezero. granted most of the time (this is just my opinion btw and i mean no harm by it HAH), to me a lot of fics with "re:" in the title dont justify why the "re:" is actually there. "Re:Incarnated" though is an EXTREMELY good use of the "re" imo. i love the pun <3

yeah as for the fic material itself - i do think its interesting to like change small bits of characters. not in the sense that youre changing like the Core of who they are but i Like seeing experimentations with characters to see like small differences. which is why i love aus (such as the literal canon aus we get in the form of the What Ifs and such!!). if that makes sense. that probably makes more sense in my head HAH anyway!! i always feel like changing a characters backstory is SO HARD to pull off without completely changing a character bc it shapes them a lot. but half elf subaru is definitely an idea that can be done in an interesting way imo and im curious to see how re:incarnated handled that. i know ive considered like emisuba roleswaps myself where emilia was isekaied from earth and subarus a half elf which was kind of like re:incarnated but also not like re:incarnated bc subaru had a similar backstory still but now with a fantasy world background (and vice versa for emilia) aljdfdlsjf. but yeah like i like seeing people experiment with these characters and make fun aus!!! and for me personally its hard for me to find ones i like in this fandom + this fandom doesnt do all the usual fic-isms (like there is next to zero soulmate aus for example HAH) so. interesting i suppose!!

as for your own half elf subaru au - im delighted that you were inspired by re:incarnated and are having fun with your own au as well!! :D while i basically know next to nothing about lord of the rings, your idea definitely sounds interesting, though i dont usually read crossovers that arent fusion aus - but i REALLY love the idea of like two different elf species from two different worlds going ??? at each other HAH thats fun stuff!! and i definitely like when despite all the AU things going on, characters like subaru arent too far off from canon in all the big important ways (ie his whole personality) bc for me, its like - theres a reason why we love these characters and i love trying to capture the heart of who they are even with au things, you know? :o but hah yeah ive made my own crossovers though in private (not to post, just for fun pfft) and i hope you keep having fun about your own half elf subaru au bc it sounds very neat <3 ty for sharing anon!! :D

[themirokai]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged in this by the incredible @pellaaearien . Thank you so much, dear! I really did start working on it when you tagged me and have picked away at it ever since. It’s quite long!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

49

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

122,560. I write short things.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

In chronological order I have written:

BBC Sherlock- Mystrade only

James Bond

Doctor Who

Star Wars

Person of Interest

Arcane

Cats the Musical

Sandman

In theory I’m open to writing in any of those again and any others as the inspiration strikes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5 - Worship (Sandman, Dreamling), also received the comment that inspired my first tumblr post to breach containment.

4 - Who He Is (Mystrade), my first fic on ao3 besides the ones I moved to the Other Account. I’m a bit surprised by this honestly. It’s got age on its side but my writing has improved a lot since then. It reads as a bit clunky to me now.

3 - Loverboy (Sandman, Dreamling + Matthew the Emotional Support Raven), first time I brought my 2 Sandman series together and my first multi chap Sandman fic.

2 - The Century Gentleman (Sandman, Dreamling), I got this written and posted pretty soon after the show aired when there was a massive demand for Dreamling content and before there was a tidal wave of content to meet the demand. I have mixed feelings about it now.

1 - Sort It (James Bond & Sherlock crossover, 00Q + Mystrade), fills the niche of “Q is a Holmes brother” + fluffy Mystrade. I do still really love this story.

5. Do you respond to comments?

My rule is that I do. And I’ve generally been very diligent about it. But I burnt out a little while writing Grave and I currently have an embarrassing number of unread comments in my ao3 inbox that I keep telling myself that I need to respond to…

So if folks have commented on my stuff in the last month or so, I’m very sorry I haven’t responded.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sequenced Proposals. No contest. Look, the character is terminally ill in canon and it’s a lawyer AU so it wasn’t going to end with him becoming a cyborg. I cried a lot while writing it. Apparently a lot of people cried while reading it. Technically he’s still alive when the story ends.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

With the one notable exception discussed above I pretty much exclusively write warm, fluffy, occasionally funny stuff. They pretty much all end happily. I am a quokka of fan fiction.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t! Someone called me a bitch in a Sequenced Proposals comment but even though we had never interacted before, they meant it positively.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not on this account. 😏

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I’ve written 2: Sort It, as mentioned above, and Dreaming of Leverage, which is a Sandman & Leverage crossover. I’d say the latter is crazier.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nooooo. And I can’t see ever doing it. Writing is very much a solo activity for me.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I can’t pick a favorite. I adore every ship I’ve written.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I will probably not finish Law School Days. I know how the story ends and that’s good enough for me and no one was clamoring for it. I still like to think I’ll finish Lonely Two-Legged Creatures some day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m good at dialogue, especially dialogue in which characters talk about their feeeeeelings. I guess I’m also good at emotional intelligence in stories. And creating the warm & fuzzies.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot and description. I almost exclusively write very short things because I am incapable of plot that would carry a longer story. Also, if I’m being honest, one of the things I like about writing fan fiction is that I don’t have to describe what anyone looks like or sounds like! Y’all know that already. But I do get the flop sweats if I have to describe someone wearing clothing that is not a t-shirt and jeans.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wish I could! More than 15 years ago I was basically conversational in Spanish, but now I’m functionally monolingual. I do appreciate when people who do this provide translations.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As a kid, before I knew what fan fiction was, I wrote at least 100 pages of what was essentially OCs in Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar. The first fandom I intentionally wrote and posted fic for was Mystrade.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Can’t do this, sorry. There are some of my stories that no longer resonate with me the way they did when I wrote them, but they’re in the minority and of the rest it’s impossible to pick a favorite.

Phew! That was a lot. Whenever I tag people in these I always say no pressure but really and seriously this time there’s no pressure and you don’t need to tell me why you’re not doing it. Just ignore. ALSO, if you’ve already done it and I missed it, apologies! With that said @once-in-a-blue-moon-rising @lavenderandvanilla @ml-nolan @mashumaru @ibrithir-was-here @karalynlovescake @stormofsharpthings @argylepiratewd

[christlois]

//I just wanted to say, back in my Black Butler days (Which was WAY back like 2009-2019) I used to be a HUGE fan of Ash/Angela in particular, they were my first muse and for that, they still hold an EXTREMELY special place in my heart and sometimes I honestly kinda wanna go back to writing them lol //They were my favourite chracter, and Alois is/was a close second, I wrote cringey fanfic, had based and created a whole OC off a kinda "Combination" of them who I still use today, and also RPed him for a time back on a few ancient forums and Google+ when that was a thing still (I'm ancient lmao) //but overall the former ESPECIALLY barely had ever gotten any content - especially good, genuine content made from love rather than half spite "Look at this asshole" - and putting aside my surprise that the Black Butler fandom is still alive and kicking, i just stumbled across your blog and while I'm not sure entirely what Christlois is about (Please do feel free to give an explanation!) I just wanna say, a combination of my favourite things from my Black Butler days: Being Ash/Angela, Alois, THAT SEASON ONE AND TWO GET SOME ATTENTION, SERIOUSLY THEYRE STILL SO FUCKING GOOD!!!! ill be honest the direction it took with season three onwards kinda was a part of why i fell out of love with the series and just the existence of catholicism/priest aesthetics as a whole lmao) //For the longest time the memory of the Black Butler fandom had left a VERY bitter taste in my mouth since being around in it's heyday as an Ash/Angela RPer was certainly an experience lol, but just looking through your blog, though I don't exactly know what it's about, is such a sweet taste of nostalgia that while I don't exactly find myself missing the community, I miss the characters and story established by the first two seasons greatly. :,) It's kinda odd to say but I was almost certain that Ash/Angela would just fade into obscurity with offhand mentions at best, no one to love and care for them, and so glad to see that someone is caring for them where I couldn't anymore! //While I still find myself coming back to the priestisms (Leonard's 1.3 verse.... *Cough*) after all these years, it's honestly been a nice reminder on just how much these Ash/Angela and Alois have impacted my writing, both in muse writing and creative! Either way, thank you so much for your care put into this and please pardon the long message sfkdhbfkhkdfh

HI HELLO THIS IS SO SWEET OH MY GOD!!!

Where do I even begin? First of all THANK YOU!! I love these angels so bad, and YOU understand. They're a fascinating evil and a very interesting character concept. It's really cool that you roleplayed with them and I bet you had a ton of interesting headcanons and developments, more so than we got from the show! Because the thing is there is not a character as neglected by the fandom and the media as Ash and Angela. For their presence in Season 1, they are never talked about...

And that's not fair! They're so fascinating!! And thank you so much for the ask, genuinely, lenght doesn't bother me at all, and it's nice my mildly sacreligious blog brought some feeling of nostalgia.

ONTO THE INFO DUMPING! You're going to love this!

So Christlois is basically the universe of one specific fic, that being this one , written by me and co-written by @eemoo1o . It's basically a story about Alois turning his back on Claude and instead being swayed to Ash's side, becoming Ash's little puppet as opposed to Queen Victoria. It's mythological, theological, philosophical, and also really really disturbing JFJKSDF there's sebaclaude, sebastian being ciel's weird dad, alois being in-characteredly toyed with (poor boy), and ashgela being a total bastard.

here are some other goodies you might have seen, some animatics about it: part 1, part 2, and an anime opening, and an original song piece (I know...I'm very intense about this hgshdf).

Oh, and this! its unrelated but also I think you'd enjoy it!!: