#ill be fine eventually

[purpleeivy]

I've been watching Dimension 20 Fantasy High recently, and having now gotten to Junior Year.

First of all wow, it's amazing.

But the most impactful moment for me so far (I'm up to Stress Testers) was Kristen's phone call with Tracker.

I can't remember the exact quote, but it was roughly "I think on some level you believe you deserve things to be easy." and essentially Tracker forcing Kristen to confront the fact that she isn't willing to put effort into doing a lot of things, and if something is hard she just moves onto something else. This really heavily resonates with me, especially since Kristen is an ex-gifted kid with severe burnout and undiagnosed Adhd, and I just. That hurt so much lol. I relate to that so so deeply. I'm not healed/healthy yet, I will still take the easy path and run away or ignore it if things get hard because I don't know how to do anything else. I don't want to be like this, I want to put effort into things but I just. Don't know HOW to. Kristen never needed to work hard at her cleric stuff because she was literally Helio's chosen. She never had to work hard and then a part of her internalised that and led her to avoid anything that wasn't like that, so if she has to work hard at something she should just give up and move to something else. She literally killed YES! because it was too hard to find more followers and she wasn't able to stay devout because of her adhd/inattentiveness and flickering hyperfixations.

[esse-lunam]

to my fellow US shifters: (gestures)

[lord-raccoon]

finally experienced how weighted against neurodivergent people the world is today and had to hold in my feelings for three hours until my shift ended so i could finally cry from the knowledge of just how wide the gap is between me and my neurotypical coworkers (54% wide according to the employee evaluation)

[strangedisciple]

sorry for being so. off today btw

[never-knows-best-yo]

It's definitely a 'crying while getting high and watching sailor moon' kind of night. Past two weeks have been shit. I wish I could quit my job, but I need the medical insurance. I'm so lonely, and I want to tell someone 'hey, I'm really miserable and alone', but that wouldn't fix anything. I guess the plus side is I haven't felt this horribly in a long time. The negative side is it feels like this deep pain will last forever and all of eternity. Yeah, I know I'm being dramatic, but I'm sad and scared and hate myself and miss people.

[dinosaurzzz]

itd be so cool if i wasnt terminally online and could quit social media without looking back sometimes. sigh. instead i continue crawling back into this fucking cesspit.

[nvmbersix]

ive finally been moved out of our house

[spaghetti-o-fficial]

Life hack: get so wrapped up in your stress and problems that you disappear from online for a few days/weeks and then get stuff figured out bcuz you aren't online and then start talking to friends online again and remember why you're friends with them until you get stressed out again.

I'm doing great rn chat

[lone-is-papyrus]

Not me crying my feelings out on my story and my close friends reaching out to make sure I'm ok

[inplateaus]

ok sunday night guilty paranoid anxious feelings i see you

[bunnitine]

itd be cool if i could go one night without getting overwhelmingly hopeless and bitter about the past present and future

[sprinklethetangerine]

I was basically like... on drugs yesterday. I didn't mean to. It was a total accident.

You see, I have this prescribed medication for my anxiety. The therapist said not to use it unless I needed it, so we were like "cool" and I hadn't touched it all of summer break, even before, when I definitely needed it, I kinda forgot.

So it's been a while since I've even seen the pills, and when I woke up nauseous, my mom suggested I take my meds. I did. But I didn't just take one. I took two. Because I'm used to just taking 2 without a second thought, I didn't think about how exactly taking two of a powerful medication after such a long time without a single one would affect me.

So yeah. Yesterday, I was on drugs by accident. How was your day?

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[catonthemountain]

~Special Agent Dana Scully~

Hi X files fandom ?

I've been lurking around for a while since I started watching (I just got to season 8) and it's so cool to see such an old fandom be so active and so nice to newcomers

I don't feel like I fully did Scully justice, but I'll keep trying

[viarayy01-blog]

can you even imagine what loop felt when siffrin said they were going to kill themself just to get through everything faster. In all of their loops, they never found that as an alternative. As something to even consider. The countless hours to days to months to years that they spent in their loops, the agonizingly long and painful road to even beat the king at all, and they never took the chance. How must if feel to look at this other version of yourself who’s made it so much farther than you ever had, so much faster than you ever could have, and watch them tell you that its still not fast enough. that its too tedious to slowly freeze in time or slip on a banana peel. that they have better things to do and the act of dying is taking away their precious time. and then have no power to stop him no matter how much they tried. because to siffrin, what’s the difference? hes dying either way. its just that this is faster. and more self destructive. and more mortifying for his allies to watch happen. just a quick slice to the throat and then their on their merry way. but to loop, its just another step towards giving up. another step towards wishing for what they did, to turn into what they did. do you think about this. do youthingk about t his-

[omppupiiras]

my army....🥹 they're not perfect but they're special to me <3 can you tell which one was the first i made haha