#ill also tag this w some other fandoms wait

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[neonnoir-ao3]

Some Words of Comfort.

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of people (especially those who have read spoilers/are actively searching for leaked content) lament about their future reactions to the deaths of our beloved characters in-game.

We all knew this was inevitable, and that them living was not an option for the plot of the game, but the time has finally come to face it head-on.

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I understand that someone outside this community might be like “it’s just a game”, but I know it’s way more than that to many: the concept of a female villain that, to many, can be seen as sympathizable and even endearing, is a bit of a new concept— especially on such a large scale as this instance.

In addition, Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters have become a bit of a comfort item for some (with an emphasis on sapphics/wlw, from what I’ve seen personally) in the form of a large, protective, and caring hypothetical partner, or even just a maternal character one can appreciate simply because of her love for her children. Regardless, most of us are here due to some desire for comfort.

Take my own story with this community, for example:

(tws for death, covid, suicide, and general medical emergencies)

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Frankly, 2020 and the beginning of 2021 have ruined me. I lost two men who were the only two positive father figures I’ve ever had. The last of the two tested positive for covid and deteriorated within days, to the point where less than a week after testing positive, my family was making the choice to pull the plug. This all occurred days before Christmas and my birthday. On the first day of the spring semester, having not had the time to properly mourn my grandfather, my mother is in the ER for multiple days with an internal infection that doctors said likely would have turned septic if she had waited to come in any longer. This led to three surgeries throughout the next few months. (Oh, and one of my relatives quite literally dropped dead on that first day of class, too). I am also estranged from one of my parents, and they have been trying to contact my family: they have multiple untreated mental illnesses (severe NPD, bipolar, and more) and they are extremely aggressive in that state of mind and they are agitated extremely easily. That only brings more stress, along with resurfacing trauma and related emotions. Every moment of every day has been a struggle. So much so that I failed half of my classes voluntarily simply because I couldn't do them anymore.

To be perfectly honest with you, I didn’t expect to be here right now. I expected that the pain of simply moving forward would have finally overridden my fears of death and that I would have already ended my suffering by now.

Then, in late January, I saw something trending on Twitter. About a new female villain in an upcoming horror game. And it went from there.

As cheesy as it sounds, this fandom and its content seriously saved my life. In the darkest of days, I’ve come to this tag for comfort. The oddest way I found said comfort was through those who were attracted to Alcina aesthetically. I have extremely long-term trauma related to being bullied and being the victim of a hybrid catfishing/'Oreo Game' on early social media by peers in middle school to the point where I do not think of myself as being able to be loved, let alone being worthy of it. Finding this community not only provided a great form of escapism (and opened a door into a fantasy world where I could imagine my own person vampire milf gf), but also gained a little bit of self-esteem (as many of you know, I share a lot of visual qualities with Alcina. -yes, I'm still kinda freaked out about it-) via seeing people where features/attributes like mine were actively praised and desired rather than insulted and pushed away like they have been until now.

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(okay sorry that kinda turned into a trauma dump but I needed to emphasize the fact that this community has seriously helped me during a really dark point in my life, and I know I can't be the only one with that sort of experience)

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What I’m trying to get across here is that, like many others, this community and its content have been comforting and therapeutic, and it really is more than just a game to us. It’s entertaining and even a form of escapism in these extremely trying times. We all have some degree of PTSD from surviving a literal mass plague— and this is something we're using as a method of coping. a distraction. a coping mechanism.

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With that being said, here are some ways to hopefully assist in lessening the emotional stress:

(please note that I am not a mental health professional and these may not be healthy coping mechanisms for everyone.)

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Understand that it’s just a game.

I know, this sounds completely counterintuitive, but it’s more or less about keeping your level of immersion down. Personally, I can’t do scary shit in general: I have to listen to music on low volume while watching dark ARG vids at night or when I’m alone because I get too into it, and then my paranoia kicks in. Sometimes just pausing for a moment and grounding yourself/reminding yourself that this is a video game: a jumble of code and 3D rendering that doesn’t have to affect your views/headcanons if you don’t want it to. Did your favorite character just get slaughtered? Nope, that 3D rendering of them just got un-alived, that’s all.

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Ignorance is Bliss/We are the Captain Now

Simple: Capcom can’t even pronounce Dimitrescu right, or even acknowledge the way it’s correctly said in Romanian culture itself. How can you trust them to give you a perfect canon? That’s the thing: with that logic, you can’t. What they say is true means little (if anything, for that matter) to your headcanons and preexisting ideas of the Dimitrescus. In short: fuck ‘em.

I’m currently seeking a double major in pop culture, and one of the cool things I’ve learned so far is affirmational vs transformational fandom. Affirmational is where official canon is seen as the law of the land, and followed to a T. Transformational is seen as much more inviting for audiences, allowing them to bend canon as they wish to fit their own creations. This fandom is obviously transformational, so take that game canon, rip it up, and get back to whatever you were doing.

Capcom’s canon is not the end-all, be-all. Far from it, actually.

Want to still acknowledge canon? Godmod your way out of it.

Character A died? It’d be a shame if they emerged from the rubble they 'died in' a few hours later, very beaten but alive nonetheless... how awful would it be if they sulked away, nursed their wounds, and continued to live... (/s)

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Ignore it completely.

Remember: give it time. Once the game drops, there w be a wave of grief, but eventually, we as a community will recover, and get back to business as usual. Think about it like the in any way. Stay with the version in your head that makes you happy.

Get Creative!

If you're into creating fanart, writing fics, or even just posting a list of headcanons, take some advice from the late Carrie Fisher: "Take your broken heart, and make it into art". Make the fluff oneshot of your dreams! Draw the fanart you've been wanting to! dump lighthearted headcanons into the tags! Not only will it cheer you up, but sharing it with the community will spread the love!

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I know a lot of people are struggling with this emotionally (especially with the pandemic making entertainment like this even more important sources of escapism and coping mechanisms) and I hope that, at the very least, I was able to help comfort one person who reads this.

Remember: give it time. Once the game drops, there will be a wave of grief, but eventually, we as a community will recover, and get back to business as usual. Think about it like the flowers that bloom after major wildfires: after a period of loss, some beautiful can still come of it.

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💙

[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[thisbluespirit]

Fic Writer Tag Game

I was tagged to do this by @allegoriesinmediasres but it had already gone round Dreamwidth this last week, so I did it there.  I’ll try and c+p it over here, too!

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 620 (but I've been writing a lot of short things since around 2006-7, and there might even still be a couple of the 1994-98 fic from the newsgroups up). 2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,476,147 (but this does include about 300,000 words of origfic for RaTs and rainbowfic that are collected into three works, so it doesn't affect the works no too much, but it does affect the wordcount.) 3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Too many to list here!  A lot.  *nods* 4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? People, it's still Miss Marple.  Maybe one day it won't be Miss Marple, but today is not that day. (ETA: whenever i do my top AO3 fic on these memes, it’s disproportionately Miss Marple.  I am bemused.) Miss Marple: The Spirit of St Mary Mead So We Meet at Last Not Miss Marple: it's the rain that will strengthen your soul (SW Prequels) Five Times the Doctor Got in the Way of Captain Janeway (and One Time They Got Along Just Fine) (DW/ST) By the Book (Origfic) (Oh, wow, By the Book keeps moving up.  It must get recced sometimes, somewhere, mustn't it?  0_o ♥) 5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes.  Fanfic is a lot my way of being social, which is why I don't get along with the new push-button web much.  Like, kudos is fine, ok, but I just wanted to talk to people, and via fic always seems to be one of the nicest ways to do it. 6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oh, I don't know. I like being bleak sometimes when I feel like it.  It might be the EatD one with the two Generals, but honestly there were a few in my mid-illness old bleak telly watching years, and the Level 7 one or the one from Children of the Damned might be even more so?  Or some S&S stuff, too?  I mean, I wrote S&S plane crash fic and weird drabbles.  (I blame my fandoms!  It's not my fault!  *innocent*) Also I keep doing Clara splinter fic, so I keep killing Clara and it's always sadder than I expect when I get there.  You'd think I'd learn by now, or just not kill this splinter, but, nooo, hey, how about MORE Clara splinter death, self?  /o\ Oh, no, wait: it's probably Spooks!  Spooks is also bleak and how about my tiny ficlet of death, Litany of the Fallen? Oh, actually, if I listen to people who aren't me, it's that B7 Avon/Servalan one, which I was always a bit: BUT I WROTE ONE WHERE THEY WON about it and everyone else was all THIS IS THE WORST in the comments.  Sorry? The Quality of Mercy (Is Most Definitely Strained)  (I still think the ending of Compendium is more angsty!  It has double death!) (Ok, it's me.  I like being bleak and angsty when I'm doing it.  I'm less sure when someone else is doing it at me, of course. ;-p) 7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I honestly don't know.  I'm usually kind of gen and happy and sometimes even humorous, and keep canon's tone, and DW is fairly light most of the time. I tried searching on Happy, but I have never tagged anything as happy.  But probably it is an AAL! thing, because AAL! is happiness in b&w TV form basically.  Maybe of Of Human Bondage (or Five Times Adam and His Friends Found Themselves All Tied Up)?  But I like all the AAL! ones I wrote for Yuletide, because they were the ones where I tried to be closest to an episode, and that makes them the most fun to re-read. 8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? I have a crossover in my top 5, so yes.  I'm a DW fan; crossovers are just far too obvious a temptation when you've got a TARDIS.  What DW fic writer hasn't managed at least one once somewhere?  And I might have, um, written a lot of them.  (AO3 says 126). I did once, way back in newsnet times, when we were having a debate over what you could and couldn't cross DW over with (and I was on Team You Can Cross It With Anything You Cowards), write a DW/Rainbow drabble.  But I don't think I put that on AO3.  I think it might be on Teaspoon.   In AO3 works, I think by far the silliest is the Baldrick/Steed one, which AstroGirl said I couldn't write.  (It was an Unconventional Courtship summary, not that they randomly dared me to write Baldrick/Steed.  I mean, some of my flist totally would have done if they'd thought of it, but not in this case.) 9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not really.  I've had some weird comments, but the nearest I've come to hate was one of the comments that time I tried to write Swan Queen fic and it wasn't happy enough for people.  (I wrote a happy one after, but the ifrst one was set quite early, Regina was still kind of evil!) 10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Alas, no.  Although, ish, if we count my experimental elemental shipping phase, which included The Cornfield (Silver/Steel/(Sapphire)), which is the only time anyone called any of my fic sexy.  I would totally have that comment made into a medal or something.   11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Other than the random scraping things that have gone round over the years, no. 12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes!  Several people have been kind enough to do this, usually into Russian, and usually (but not always!) Miss Marple. 13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, and no - in adwc days we all co-authored round robins, which were a blast and highly frustrating.  I think it'd be fun, but barring the odd bit of drabble tennis with various flisters back in the day, it's not really something that's worked out.  (I'm thinking, I could have all the ideas, they could do all the writing, I could criticise?? XD) 14) What’s your all time favorite ship? My Relationships count is very misleading here, because I think it actually is (including in terms of things written for it), Sapphire/Silver/Steel, but it's a weird thing, so sometimes I tag it platonically, and sometimes I don't necessarily tag it at all for that reason, and also I think it puts people off unnecessarily.  (But it's a Lie when I don't tag it.  All my Sapphire & Silver & Steel is inherently OT3 even if no one else can see it.) 15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? None.  I have unposted WIPs, but I do hope to finish those, and the only posted WIP is a very old one only on Teaspoon that was begun before I was ill and I can't even really say at this point that I would want to finish it. 16) What are your writing strengths? Character/dialogue, I think?  I am actually not that bad at plot, but currently I lack the stamina for long things. I like to think I can be quite funny when I'm in the mood. 17) What are your writing weaknesses? Description, action.  Argh.  Yes, let's just talk some more, okay? 18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I was going to say I would never, but actually I did!  I wrote Y Gwyll | Hinterland fic, and it wouldn't be right not to have some Welsh in that.  However, while I may be a 1/4 Welsh and know some Welsh words, I don't actually speak it, so I had to turn to Llywela who was very kind and translated the sentences I needed.  (I added the English translation in the footnote.)  This was the fic, but basically language is important in canon (ironically maybe even more so in the Eng-lang version I watched than the original Welsh), and so it was also important in the fic. So, probably if it was a canon where it was required, then I would do what I could to get help to get it right?  The good thing about the internet is that you can usually find someone, although usefully for me, I already knew someone. 19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Doctor Who! 20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? I'm going to wimp out on this along with everyone else.  Although... if any of you have a fave fic of mine, that would be very cool to hear!  (But I don't expect anyone to.) Sometimes I'm pleased enough with the latest to feel it's that, but that's not always the case, and it isn't currently.  (No, offence, Latest Works!  I like you, it just only happens once in a while, usually when I've managed something I've wanted to do for years.)

I won’t tag anyone, because I know lots of people also did this on Dreamwidth, but it’s always VERY cool to see people’s answers to these things and memes are for stealing.

[ethereal-not-occult]

patience and the mulberry

"With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown."

Fandom: Good Omens Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Fluff and Angst, Character(s) of Color, Sericulture, silkworms, past religious trauma, but nothing bad happens in this fic I promise, mixed bookverse w/ TV elements, references to Chinese culture Notes: Originally written for the @goodomensfashionzine​ !

“I'll only be a minute, dear.” Aziraphale kissed Crowley's cheek as he opened the door of the Bentley. “You don't have to see me to the door if you don't want to.”

Crowley tightened his grip on the wheel. “Sure, angel. Sounds good to me.” The sibilants slid far too quickly past his clenched jaw, and he bit his tongue to stop the instinctive hiss from escaping.

Aziraphale gave him a sympathetic look, but shut the Bentley's door behind him and soon disappeared through the doors of the church. Once he was out of sight, Crowley slumped forward slightly, sliding his sunglasses up and rubbing at his eyes. A few deep breaths later, and he felt composed enough to exit the Bentley himself in blatant disregard for the “NO PARKING” sign on the curb.¹

[¹ Given his new job position (or lack thereof), lawbreaking was no longer a necessity, but old habits die hard.]

The bright afternoon sun made him wince a bit, and two robins in a nearby bush were getting frisky in a way he would never be able to unhear, but they made it easier to forget the distant wail of air sirens. Even standing out on the road, Crowley's skin prickled faintly with the remembered sting of consecrated ground.

He pushed the feeling aside and walked resolutely forward. Aziraphale was bound to take his sweet time as he mooned over the church's dusty old tomes, but Crowley had his own investigations to conduct while he waited. No rest for the wicked and all that.

The concrete pavement under his snakeskin shoes gave way to grass, and the tingling sensation in his soles faded. Soon he found himself at his intended destination—an Edenic grove of mulberry trees, clustered together in a ring in the church's backyard. He'd spotted them on the drive over and couldn't resist the temptation of a closer look.

Crowley wandered into the garden with a scrutinizing eye. They were young, for trees, but growing well despite their callowness. A particularly stocky sapling hardly flinched when Crowley gave it a token glare, much to his disappointment. Then again, outdoor plants were rarely as well-behaved as properly cowed houseplants. It seemed this attitude persisted even in ecclesiastic gardens such as these.

He cast a surreptitious glance over his shoulder, then reached a hand up into the tree's umbrella-like branches and tugged. The season wasn't quite right for fruits, but he still withdrew clutching a handful of dark ripe mulberries. Hardly apples, but his lips twitched upwards nonetheless. He plucked a berry from the pile and raised it to his lips.

“Zaoshang hao!”

Only a hasty miracle saved Crowley from choking as he jumped and swiveled around. Hovering right outside the churchyard was a middle-aged human, well-dressed and smiling pleasantly at him. Judging by her formal clothing and the Bible she carried, she was a part of the congregation, maybe even the priest herself. Crowley swallowed and stepped backwards.

“Ni shi jiaohui de xinshou ma?” the human called again, picking her way across the dewy grass in his direction. Crowley eyed the Bible she held, willing himself not to break out into hives.

“Um. Wo bu—er, no. I'm not new. Not here for church at all, actually.” He fidgeted and clasped his hands, still full of pilfered mulberries, behind his back. “Just waiting for someone.”

The human raised an eyebrow. “You're welcome to wait inside, if you like,” she said, also switching to English. “I reckon we still have biscuits left from the children's morning service—”

“No!” Crowley said too quickly, and perhaps too sharply. He winced. “I mean. That won't be necessary. I'd much rather stay out here, if it isn't too much trouble.”

The human gave him a Look. Crowley's cheeks heated and he averted his eyes, willing his sunglasses a few shades darker.

“Beautiful, aren't they?”

Crowley's head shot back up. The human had turned her back to him and was running a hand through the glossy green leaves of the nearest mulberry tree. Crowley could practically see the branches stretch out in delight beneath her touch, like a purring cat.

“Volunteers from our congregation take care of them,” the human continued, smiling at the young tree. “The kids here like raising silkworms, you see, and we welcome them to pick leaves from the trees each week to feed them.”

Silkworms. Of course. Despite himself, a hazy memory rose to the forefront of his mind: Sichuan, China, several hundreds of years ago. A family farm, weathered and cozy and oozing enough sheer goodness to make the average demon ill with it. Crowley wouldn't normally be caught dead in such a place, but he had owed a favour to the angel. His fingers twitched at the phantom memory of butter-soft silk fibres against his skin; long, winding threads that stretched out thin and fine, tangling so easily around his uncertain fingers. With this memory came the golden, moon-round face of a child he hadn't thought about in centuries, grinning toothily as they held out a box to him, a box filled with small pale larvae that wriggled among the spade-shaped leaves. “Zhe jiao can.”

Crowley forced himself to return to the present. The human was speaking to him.

“—waiting on Mr. Fell?” she asked.

Crowley blinked. Shook himself a little. “Yeah. He's helping out with the restoration of some old manuscript or other.”

The human smiled again. It was an unnervingly piercing expression. “I'm aware. I was the one who requested his help. Such a lovely man. Are you a friend of his?”

Crowley tensed. “His husband, actually.”

He braced himself, but the human only brightened. “Goodness, then you must be Mr. Crowley! Mr. Fell talks ever so much about you. Finally gone and tied the knot then, have you?”

Before Crowley could stammer out a reply, something dinged loudly, making him jump. The human pulled a phone out from her pocket and squinted at the screen.

“Sorry, I have to run back inside. But it was lovely meeting you, Mr. Crowley.” She stuck out a hand—thankfully not the one that had been holding the Bible—and after a brief hesitation, Crowley shook it. As quickly as she had arrived, the human disappeared from the garden, leaving Crowley alone and off-kilter amid a grove of mulberry trees.

---

Aziraphale emerged from the church around an hour later to find Crowley seated on the curb next to the Bentley, basking in the last rays of the afternoon sun as he scrolled through his phone.

“My dear,” the angel sighed. His joints creaked as he eased himself down to sit next to Crowley on the roadside. “Don't tell me you've been sitting here the entire time.”

“Nope,” Crowley said, popping the ‘p’. “I toured the gardens for a bit. Swiped some fruits, too. The mulberries aren’t half-bad, for a bunch of church plants, but they’ll need a good deal more threatening before they're really up to snuff.”

Crowley stopped when he saw Aziraphale chewing his lip, brow furrowed as he studied Crowley's face. Now it was Crowley's turn to sigh.

“Really, angel. It's fine. I was hardly bored.”

The expression didn't leave Aziraphale's face. A soft brown hand reached out and brushed aside stray wisps of hair from Crowley's forehead. The demon hadn't bothered to cut it since the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, and it was growing longer and more unruly by the day.

“I'm fine.” Crowley caught Aziraphale's hand and held it, carefully. He pressed his lips against the well-manicured fingers. “It was years ago, angel, and we both came out of it all right. You don't need to worry about me.”

Aziraphale still looked vaguely distressed as Crowley drew him close. With the sun setting behind him, framing his face and curly dark hair in a golden halo, he was the most beautiful thing Crowley had ever seen.

He kissed him then, right there on the road, in full sight of the church and probably Someone Else, too, if She happened to be watching at that particular moment. Once, he would've been terrified of such a public display, but he hadn't gone through hellfire and holy water to care anymore about what others thought of them.

As he helped Aziraphale into the Bentley, he noticed abruptly that the angel was carrying what appeared to be a shoebox, of all things, along with his usual camelhair coat.

“What on Earth is that?”

“Oh!” Aziraphale carefully pushed the box over to Crowley. “Mrs. Lao gave it to me once I'd finished with those manuscripts. She said it was a gift for you, actually. Have the two of you met before?”

Crowley stared down at the box, baffled. “We talked for a bit in the gardens just now, but I can’t imagine why…”

He trailed off, and his mouth dropped open as Aziraphale eased open the lid and beheld the contents with a raised eyebrow.

“Good heavens. Are those caterpillars?”

“Silkworms,” Crowley corrected automatically, leaning in for a closer look. There were so many of them, somehow both smaller and larger than he remembered, all white and wiggly and chomping away busily at the layers of mulberry leaves filling their box. None of them paid any attention whatsoever to their occult observers hovering above them.

“Why would she give you such a thing? Not that they aren't dear little creatures,” Aziraphale added hastily, glancing into the box, “but I doubt I have the means to keep them in the bookshop.”

“No need,” Crowley said before he could stop himself. “I can raise 'em in my flat.”

Aziraphale gave him a curious look. “You know how to care for these… insects?”

“Yeah.” Crowley gently shut the lid of the inhabited shoebox and curled a hand around the Bentley's stick-shift. “I've done something like this, before. I know what I'm doing.”

“If you say so.” Suddenly Aziraphale chuckled. At Crowley's affronted look, he demurred, “I'm not making fun, my dear. It's only that you still manage to surprise me, even after all these years.”

Aziraphale leaned in and pecked Crowley's cheek, making him blush red and sputter. Much to his disgruntlement, the Bentley chirped a light-hearted rendition of Haydn's Crazy Little Thing Called Love all the way home.

---

Crowley had spent the past eleven years co-parenting the Antichrist with Aziraphale.² They had faced this challenge head-on, and in his opinion, it hadn’t gone too shabbily. Now, without the threat of the Apocalypse hanging over his head, becoming a surrogate parent was far less daunting the second time around.

[² Even if young Warlock hadn't really been the son of Satan, it was the principle of the thing.]

Still, Crowley worried. He had always been something of a worrier, and that hadn't changed even after the First Day of the Rest of Their Lives.

After dropping off Aziraphale at the bookshop, Crowley returned to his flat, where he commenced the preparations for introducing his unexpected twenty-odd guests to their new home. This was accomplished by miracling up a small glass aquarium onto his desk, lining the bottom with paper towels, and carefully (read: nervously) placing the silkworms one by one into the tank. Once this was done, Crowley scattered the half-eaten mulberry leaves from the box around the aquarium. The silkworms set upon their interrupted lunch with all the enthusiasm of Aziraphale devouring a meringue pie at the Ritz.

Crowley slumped into his chair, took off his sunglasses with a wince, and rested his chin on his desk, staring into the glass tank.

“I raised your ancestors once, you know,” Crowley informed the wriggling creatures. “Tiny farm in China several centuries back. We'd weave branches together into a tray and let you loose inside. Bit like how manmade beehives work, or something.”

Crowley paused. Watched one silkworm slowly inch its way across a stem to tackle a new section of leaf. “‘Course, humans use wire mesh nowadays, but the general premise is the same. Always thought it was bloody clever, what humans could come up with. If you gave me a bunch of moth larvae and told me to make a living out of them, I definitely wouldn't think to make clothes.” He snorted. “Whoever came up with that, I'd like a glass of whatever they were drinking.”

The silkworms munched on. They ate much faster than they crawled, that was certain. In the quiet walls of his flat, away from prying human eyes, Crowley loosened the knot of his silk tie and tugged it off, easing the tightness around his neck.

“You're the ones who made this, in a sense,” he said, waving the tie at them. He laid the tie beside one glass wall of the tank at just the right angle for the inhabitants within to see. Several silkworms looked up curiously.

Crowley tossed his suit jacket aside, then unbuttoned his shirt collar. He had always prided himself on his sharp, modern attire over the years, the better to tempt humans with—or so he claimed. Despite repeated scoldings from his superiors, his Lust quotas had never been quite up to par.

Sufficiently dishevelled, and feeling all the freer for it, Crowley sank back into his chair to watch the silkworms.

“The only thing I didn't like about the process was the boiling,” he murmured. “Logically, I can see why it was done. And you would all be in cocoons, so it's not like you'd be in any pain. Not like I was.” He exhaled, the sound becoming a low hiss. “But still. Never liked it. Always felt like an awful lot of trouble just for the sake of some silk threads.”

One particularly adventurous silkworm had nosed its way upwards and was now creeping over the edge of the tank opening. Crowley made a mental note to devise a lid of some kind and stuck his finger against the lip of the tank. The silkworm crawled onto his hand without any hesitation. Tentatively, he drew it closer. Its many feet stuck stubbornly to his skin, and it reared up as he approached, swaying slightly, its mandibles twitching.

Crowley stared at the silkworm. The silkworm stared back, and seemed disappointed when Crowley had nothing else to offer. Just to prove it wrong, Crowley materialized a single large mulberry leaf in his other hand and presented it to the insect, who fell upon it with gluttonous enthusiasm.

Staring at the miracled leaf, an idea formed in Crowley's mind. He smiled, slowly.

“I need a hobby, now that I'm jobless,” he said aloud to the silkworm, letting it creep onto his palm. He ran a careful finger over its smooth back. “I think I'll take up sericulture again, for old time's sake.” He reached back into the tank and gently encouraged the silkworm to crawl back inside.

“Humans have to boil you alive to get those nice unbroken threads off your cocoons,” Crowley mused, withdrawing his hand. “Fortunately, I don't have to do things the human way.” He lowered himself until he was eye-level with the inhabitants of the tank. The silkworm he had carried paused in its perpetual eating and turned its head, almost like it was looking at him.

“How's this?” Crowley asked. “You'll be able to grow into a fuzzy, fully grown silk-moth, and I can take your cocoon after you've finished with it and miracle the threads whole again.” He paused and mulled it over. “I guess I could take it a step further and just miracle the finished silk together, but there's still something to be said about the human way of doing things.”

The silkworm bobbed the front half of its body as though in agreement. Crowley smiled again.

“We can make silk, and no one gets hurt. I'm a few hundred years out of practice, but I'm sure I could make it work, somehow.”

The silkworm turned its attention back to its meal. Crowley didn't notice. He was too busy wondering if Aziraphale had any old texts on silk-weaving that he could borrow, just so he could refresh his memory.

The angel would appreciate having a new silk bowtie to add to his collection.

---

Thank you for reading! Replies and reblogs are always much appreciated. <3

[mrfutureboy]

@rovermcfly tysm for tagging me and sorry this took 5ever!!

why did you choose your url?

i wanted a bttf url last summer when i got back into the fandom, and i wanted it to be specific to marty bc i love him but i also want to be him. im like, obsessed with the nickname "future boy" that doc gives him in 1955, and the url futureboy is taken, so i am mrfutureboy bc i am marty (kinnie shit)

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

i literally only have a handful for url-saving purposes. @rhodeystark and @masloki are my most notable old urls so i wanted them for safe keeping. i also have @goodnightfutureboy bc that was one of the bttf urls i was considering and i never got around to deleting it (if by chance anyone wants that lmk)

how long have you been on tumblr?

I think i joined in 2010.

do you have a queue tag?

back when i blogged a lot on desktop, xkit worked for me, and i actually queued shit for my blog it was “since queue been gone” bc i thought i was clever. i still think its clever tbh i just dont really queue anymore

why did you start your blog in the first place?

Iirc, an irl friend of mine heard about tumblr thru an upperclassman she was friends with, so she was like “sonny we should sign up for tumblr!” and i was like sure why not. first url was miss-math bc thats my deviantart username

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

im obsessed w mjf but im also a kinnie /j. i specifically love his look in that interview and also i own a very similar sweater now so. it me. also im basically aromantic even tho i dont really use the label so yeah i put that behind his pretty face

why did you choose your header?

skfkdksk its because i kept fucking dying in the stuart little 2 gba game. I havent played in a while but im stuck on the level where stuart goes into the sink drain to retrieve the wedding ring that isnt even in there

what’s your post with the most notes?

Feel free to fact check me, but im 90% sure it’s a screenshot of gwen and trent from tdi that i took, where gwen is like leaning on the table all miserable and trents got his hand on her back, captioned “rb if you agree” bc i thought they were really cute. i still get fucking notifications for that post i think its at over 500 notes now

how many followers do you have?

i dont particularly like sharing this since this is the only site that doesnt make that public, and it’s nice to not feel intimidated or make other people feel intimidated or ashamed, like how it kinda makes you feel bad when you have fewer followers than your friends on insta. but i’ll play, and as of right now i have 1065 followers im very grateful for <3

how many people do you follow?

240. ik my ratio is bad i promise im not being an asshole abt it

have you made a shitpost?

Ive been on tumblr a long time. Of course i have

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

I get turned off by those posts a lot but i do be reblogging shit sometimes ill admit. but not blindly like i have to actually read it and care about it. But if its a 10 mile long post where everyones adding how necessary it is that its rb’d, forget about it

do you like tag games?

yeah!!! it just takes me a long time to finish them lol

do you like ask games?

I dont play them v often or receive them but i do!

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@chloezhao, period. also @jedflah and @lonepinetimeline were some of the big names within the bttf community that i kept seeing last summer and i remember being like “omg they followed me”. (Well. Actually with theo i didnt recognize his main blog so for an embarrassingly long time i didnt realize we were mutuals slfksk. he would like my personal posts and i was like “wait who is this” and i felt like a huge idiot when i realized it was him! our 1 yr friendaversary is coming up love u cowboy <4)

do you have a crush on a mutual?

no but @biathelstan and i are cowboy soulmates

Tagging: @biathelstan @thereisnosafetythistime @anakins-rattail @mahourobotto

[cuddlepilefics]

24.    Blizzard

Fandom: GOT7

Sickie: Yugyeom

Caregiver: GOT6

 Jaebeom’s POV.:

The news had been warning of a blizzard headed towards our town for the last few days which was expected to hit within the next two days. People were asked to stay at home if possible and avoid leaving the safety of a building. We were compiling a shopping list to stock up on foods and other necessities to get us over the duration of the storm. Well, mostly Mark, Jinyoung and I were. Jackson, Youngjae and Bambam were just adding different chips flavors, claiming if they were stuck inside, they’d have to have movie nights. I turned around when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Hyung, could you also add tissues, cough drops and maybe cold medicine to the list?”, Yugyeom asked shyly, causing me to frown. “Why? Are you sick?”, I asked, studying his face for any signs of illness. He scratched his neck awkwardly. “No. But, I don’t know, I think I might be coming down with something. Not sure though. Might be wrong. Just thought if the storm really gets as bad as they’re saying, it’d suck having to go out then”, rambling, he avoided my eyes. “Yah, the maknae’s right. Better safe then sorry”, Jinyoung announced, noting the youngest’s request along with some other emergency stuff Jackson blurted out. “Guys, don’t overreact. We’ll be stuck for a few days. A week at most and we might still be able to go out during the storm, but yeah, Yugyeom got a point”, I reasoned. We were finishing up our shopping list and I was arguing with myself whether to drag the annoying trio consisting of Jackson, Youngjae and Bambam with me to the stores, so they could spend some time out of the dorm before being stuck there for a short while or to leave them behind for the sake of my nerves. They made the decision themselves, claiming they needed to make sure we wouldn’t forget their chips. Jinyoung also tagged along at the pleading look I sent him, to keep them in check. Mark wanted to stay at home and Yugyeom had already disappeared back to his room when the five of us left for the stores.

 Yugyeom’s POV.:

I sat on my bed after the awkward conversation with my hyungs. I was most certainly coming down with something, if I wasn’t already. There was a dull pressure behind my eyes and my throat burned every time I swallowed. Luckily, it wasn’t audible in my voice quite yet, so nobody could tell. Scrolling through my phone, my thoughts anxiously wandered back to being stuck with the entire group in a small apartment for days. It had been a while since all members were home at the same time and usually I would have been happy about us all spending some time together without at least one member missing but I didn’t feel so well. I don’t like my members to know when I don’t feel good. They always worry so much and it makes me uncomfortable. The more members are home, the more likely it is for somebody to notice. Especially after I spoke up about my concern earlier but I had to. I didn’t feel like leaving the house and I also didn’t feel like secretly stocking up but I also knew I might really need some stuff, so giving a small hint was the only option I had. The phone fell from my hand, shifting my attention to the tremors in my fingers. To fidgety to sit still, I got up from my bed and decided to get a drink, hoping to find some kind of distraction on the way to the kitchen. The dorm was quiet as I padded to the kitchen. I had some troubles pouring me a glass of juice, getting startled by Mark who had appeared behind me seemingly out of nowhere and spilling some. He apologized for sneaking up on me and helped me clean before grabbing himself a snack, which was the reason he had come to the kitchen in the first place.

I was about to flee back to my room when I felt his hand on my shoulder. Turning back around, I tried to mask the fear in my eyes. “What’s up, Gyeommie?” – “Haha, nothing much”, my hand went up to scratch the back of my head. “You know, I can tell something’s not right. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it but you know you can always come to me”, he smiled sadly and I considered my options. Right now, it only was the two of us and I knew Mark, he would stay quiet if I asked him to. It would be nice to get my worries of my chest by simply saying them out loud and for that Mark was probably the first choice as a listener anyways. He was about to walk away, only stopping when I grabbed his wrist. “C-Can we talk in my room?”

Without a word, Mark had followed me to my room, sitting next to me on my bed while still keeping some distance between us which I was very thankful for. “Umm, it’s about w-what I asked Jaebeom-h-hyung to add to the shopping list”, I started nervously, trying to keep my voice steady. Not daring to look at my oldest hyung, I stared at my hands, watching my fingers pick at each other’s nails. Mark stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue, only to realize that I wasn’t going to. “You are afraid of falling ill?”, he asked sympathetically and I nodded not daring to meet his eyes. “Can you pin-point exactly what is scaring you about it? Because you know, we’d all be there to make sure you’ll be fine in the end”, he followed his first guess up. “I-I think that is what is scaring me. This might sound weird but w-when you are worried, you all pay s-so much attention to me. I-I don’t want attention. I-It’s too much. I don’t know how to handle it and with more members at home, it’ll only be more eyes on me. It’s freaking me out, I just want to hide away and only come out when I’m all better”, cutting myself off when my breathing picked up pace, I realized what I had just admitted. “So, you’re already not feeling that well”, Mark asked carefully and I could only nod, praying he wouldn’t see my blush. Humming in thought he shifted around a bit. “You know, it’s alright if you get sick. I’m sure the others will respect it if you ask them to not bother you for a while. Yeah, maybe they will struggle a bit with stopping themselves because you are still somehow our baby. But if they know how much it stresses you out to be the center of attention, maybe we can still support you while giving you some space”, he mused. Meeting his eyes, I gave him a soft smile, feeling glad that I had opened up to my hyung. “Thanks”, I whispered, looking back at my hands “That really helped”. “Always. Are you alright with telling me how you’re feeling right now? Like are you already sick or just on the verge of it?”, he questioned carefully, afraid of taking his inquisition to far. “Umm, it’s not too bad yet. My throat is a little sore and I can feel the pressure of a cold that’s not there yet in my head but yeah, it’s probably just coming on in some time”, I tried to describe the sensation as best as I could. “Alright. You know you can come to any of us when it does and you want or need something. I’ll try to convince the others of giving you some space as well when you need it but that also means that although we’ll check on you, we’re relying on you to come to us, ok?”, he reminded me and I nodded because it seemed like a reasonable compromise. “Get some rest while it’s still quiet here”, he joked, getting up to leave. “Hyung”, I called out as his hand rested on the door handle “Thank you”.

I had actually managed to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon and woke up to loud bickering from the living room. Sighing, I picked up my phone to check the time and found a text from Mark, reading over it a few times before typing back.

Mark

Hey, what you said earlier got me thinking a bit because I still remember our pre-debut and early debut days. You always envied Bambam when he was babied and treated as the maknae when that would have actually been your spot. That’s why I was a bit surprised when we talked earlier…

Yugyeom

Yeah, I remember that too

Mark

What made you change your mind?

Yugyeom

Umm I don’t know

I had always wished for that kind of treatment back then

I guess I still do when thinking about it sometimes

But

It has never been that way

When I’m suddenly treated like this I don’t know how to feel about it.

It feels strange, I’m not used to it

I don’t know how to react and just get awkward

And I don’t like being awkward

I don’t know if that explanation makes sense, it’s kinda hard to put it into words

Mark

I can see your point, though it’s sad

Thank you for being so open

Yugyeom

Thank you for trying to understand

 I rolled off my bed, the progressive achiness in my muscles forcing me to suppress a groan. Making my way to the living room, I immediately ran into Youngjae who was bragging about all the snacks they had bought and which movies were planned to be watched over the next few days. I didn’t really pay attention to him, his loud voice was giving me a headache. Trying to be a good maknae, I helped the older hyungs unpack their shopping bags, sorting the groceries into the kitchen cabinets. There was some chaos in the kitchen till everything was stored away. The question of what to cook for dinner arose, reminding me that I didn’t have much of an appetite at all. That’s why I stayed quiet during the loud discussion that broke out, opting for just taking a shower and then listen to music till I was called to the table to have dinner.

The shower had been nice. I had turned the water up hotter than usual as it soothed the heaviness in my limbs. Standing under the hot stream of water, it was only then that I had realized that I had been feeling cold before, turning the water temperature even higher. I sat at the dinner table with my hair still damp because I was to tired to handle the noise of the hairdryer. My appetite still nonexistent, I was mostly just pushing my food around, only taking bites when I felt someone watching me. Most of the time when I looked up to see who was watching me, I was met with Mark’s encouraging smile and although I appreciated his support, I regretted talking to him earlier because I could tell he was observing me closely now. That’s why after I had only finished half of my dinner, I didn’t dare hide away in my room and forced myself to join the others for a movie. Had anyone asked me about the storyline by the end of it, I wouldn’t have been able to recount it, spending most of the movie’s duration fighting to stay awake. How could I be this tired after having an afternoon nap? We all told each other ‘good night’ before going to our respective rooms.

“Hey, you still awake?”, Bambam uttered. “Mhm” – “Are you also nervous about the blizzard coming?” – “Why hyung?” – “I don’t know. I should be used to intense storms, since there were often bad ones in Thailand but something about the fact that there’ll be snow makes me fidgety”, Bambam admitted. “Don’t worry, there’ll be no difference. We just need to distract ourselves while we can’t go out. I doubt that will be difficult with all the movies you guys have planned, besides, there are also video games”, I mumbled into my pillow. “Right, thanks Gyeommie. Sleep well.” – “Good night hyung.”

I tried going to sleep like Bambam had told me but now my afternoon nap was biting me in the ass. Despite being exhausted, I didn’t feel sleepy at all, so I kept tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position. Although I managed to nod off at some point, I only slept for ten to twenty minutes at a time, constantly waking up again. At 3am I had given up on proper sleep, instead putting my headphones in and only dozing while listening to a calm playlist. Around 5am I pulled myself out of my sleepy haze to go to the bathroom. On the way back to my room I was becoming more and more aware of a general feeling of unwellness that had settled over me. My throat ached as much as yesterday, while the pressure in my head had turned into a dull, pounding headache. It was impossible to breathe through my blocked nose and the tingling at the back of my nostrils became more prominent by the minute, not strong enough to make me sneeze though.

In hopes some water would sooth my throat, I grabbed my phone, headphones and a blanket, venturing to the living room to put my stuff down before getting a drink from the kitchen. Sitting my water slowly, I settled on the couch, covering my legs and lap with the blanket before putting my headphones back in, trying to doze again fore a bit longer after finishing my drink.

 Jinyoung’s POV.:

I got up early today, wanting to prepare a more time-consuming breakfast then usual to celebrate the start of the holiday season. Having discussed this with Bambam who had pleaded to let me join him, I made my way to the maknaes’ shared bedroom, furrowing my brows at weird noises I heard coming from the living room. I decided to wake Bambam up first before checking for the source of the noise because I’d like to have another member with me if there was an intruder. Sneaking into the room, to not accidentally wake Yugyeom too, I find the maknae’s bed empty, finally identifying the noises from the living room as Yugyeom’s typical, high-pitched half-stifles. Getting worried about the number of sneezes I had heard, I gently but quickly shake the rapper’s arm to get him to wake up. When I was sure he wouldn’t go back to sleep, I left to check on our youngest in the living room.

Yugyeom was sitting on the couch, holding a blanket up to his face in an attempt to muffle his sneezes. I approached him trying not to startle him, since he seemed too occupied to notice me presence. When he finally caught a break for a bit and lowered the blanket, I carefully spoke up, making him jump a bit. “Good morning” – “Oh by god, Hyu’g. You albost gave be a heart attack. Dob’t do that! Ugh, good bording”, he stammered, the shock still visible on his face. “Are you feeling alright? You sure have been sneezing a lot…”, I quizzed, studying his face. “Yeah *sniff* by dose is jus’ really itchy”, he sniffed, rubbing at his watery eyes. “Caught a cold?”, I observed, knowing my chance of an honest answer was higher if I approached the issue head-on. “Hah’ktCHhsx! *sniff* probably”, he admitted, dropping his head in his hands. “How long have you been awake already? It’s still early” – “Dod’t kdow. Did’t really sleep”, he whined muffled by congestion. “Do you think you could sleep now?”, I asked, receiving a shake of his head. “Alright, Bambam and I are going to make dinner, why don’t you try to at least doze a bit? I’ll make you some tea in a bit”, I offered and he nodded, laying back: “Thagks, hyu’g”.

The water in the kettle just started to boil when Bambam shuffled into the kitchen, seeminly still half-asleep. “Hyung, Yugyeom’s gone”, he yawned. “Nope, he’s in the living room, didn’t you see him”, I chuckled at the confused look on the rapper’s face as he had passed by his roommate without noticing him. *“hh’NGtx’ch! ha’INGTch“* “Ah, yes, that is definitely him. How did I not notice? I need coffee”, he stated. I poured the water over a teabag to let it steep before making coffee for both of us. “Could you bring that cup to Yugyeom while ours cool, so we can get started afterwards?”, I asked, pushing the tea closer to Bambam. “Sure, is he sick or something?”, he frowned. “Yeah, caught a cold last night”, I explained, already gathering some cooking utensils we were going to need. Bambam nodded before making his way to the living room.

 Bambam’s POV.:

I wasn’t sure whether my only dongsaeng was awake by the way he was curled up on the couch which was way too small for him to fit on it properly. That was till he jolted up with a harsh sneeze. He rubbed at his face, groaning before his watery eyes met mine. “Hey, heard you’re not doing so great. Jinyoung made you tea”, I smiled handing him the cup. “Thagks”, he mumbled, blowing into the steam to make the tea cool down faster. I patted his shoulder sympathetically before returning to Jinyoung. Mark had talked to us all, except for Yugyeom, yesterday while the maknae was in the shower. He prepared us that the youngest was most likely falling ill over the next few days and that he was scared of getting more affection than he knew how to handle. We agreed that if he was to be ill, we would give him some space while still trying to discreetly show him some love. I was really insecure about how I was going to do that, afraid I would either be taking it too far or treat him too coldly. For now, I just wanted him to rest so I helped Jinyoung with breakfast, attempting to distract myself. My thoughts however, kept going back to Yugyeom and the fact that he was scared of our affection. I still remembered it being different and him actually being really down because he didn’t get as much as I did because he wasn’t short and cute.

The group had gradually woken up and shuffled into the kitchen, laying the table and taking in the sight in the living room. It wasn’t that big of a surprise, since everyone had expected the maknae to fall ill, just not that soon. Even Youngjae and Jackson kept the noise down because the soft, congested snores indicated that Yugyeom had actually managed to fall asleep. I was about to wake him when breakfast was ready but Jinyoung stopped me, claiming Yugyeom had been unable to sleep most of the night, so we should just let him rest and save him some food.

After we finished eating, we quietly cleared the table, Mark and Jaebeom doing the dishes, since Jinyoung and I had cooked. Youngjae, Jackson and I went to brush our teeth while Jinyoung carefully stepped into the living room.

 Jinyoung’s POV.:

I had expected for the youngest to still be asleep but when I walked in, he was sitting at the edge of the couch about to get up. I took a seat next to him on the couch, facing him. “How do you feel after sleeping a bit?”, hummed, scanning his features for any giveaways about his physical condition. His eyes and nose had tinted an irritated shade of pink that matched the blush on his cheeks while the rest of his face looked paler than usual. “I’b ok. Just really wiped”, he rasped, voice scratchier than before. “Worse than earlier?” – a nod- “Can I check if you have a fever? Your cheeks look like it” – another nod- I reached out to first brush my hand against his forehead before cupping his cheek, keeping it there a bit longer than I would have needed to notice the heat against my skin, as I felt the younger lean into my touch. Before pulling away completely, I ran my hand through his hair stating: “You definitely do have a fever.” He hummed in acknowledgement, fiddling with the sleeve of the hoodie he had slipped on. “Do you feel up to having breakfast? We saved you some, since we didn’t want to wake you” – “Thagks hyu’g. Dot so hu’gry yet. Ughh what’s up with by voice?”, he croaked, trying but failing to clear his voice. “I thigk I’ll just go back to by bed”, he continued, sounding just as bad as before. “Ok, well since you can’t yell if you need something, just shoot a text, yeah? Rest well”, I squeezed his shoulder comfortingly before getting back up. He thanked me quietly before wobbling back to his room looking ready to crash.

Remembering the cough drops we had bought yesterday, I swiftly followed him, brushing my knuckles against the door before entering. He looked up at me expectantly as I put the bag of cough drops on his nightstand. “Might help your voice some”, I explained, leaving him to get some rest.

 Mark’s POV.:

It had been a few hours since we had last seen Yugyeom. It was almost lunchtime and he hadn’t eaten anything yet, so I went to check on him. I was expecting him to be asleep but found him curled into a tight ball under his blankets crying softly. “Hey, I came to see how you’re holding up. Not that great, huh?”, I murmured, sitting back next to him. He shook his head, wiping at his face. “What’s wrong?” – “Feel shitty”, he whimpered, his voice cracking. “Can you describe me what feels shitty? Then I can try to find you some medicine” – “By head is goi’g to explode sood, my throat’s burding a’d by dose itches so badly but I cad sdeeze. Everythi’g hurts soo buch a’d I’b cold”, he croaked, tears spilling over again. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I scratched his scalp, knowing it would calm him down eventually. “Aww shit, you’re burning up”, I cooed, flinching as I touched his forehead. He just whimpered scooting closer to me and I felt like during our pre-debut days. “I really think you could use some medicine, Gyeommie. But that means you’d have to eat a few bites first. Can you do that for me?”, I pleaded, continuing to play with his hair. “Really dot hu’gry, hyu’g”, he rasped, frowning at the thought of food. “I know. It doesn’t even have to be much. We made some soup, just eat a bit and then you can have medicine”, I settled, texting Jinyoung to bring us a small bowl of soup.

Jinyoung kept the maknae company while he ate and I went through the bathroom cabinets to find the right types of medicine. Choosing a painkiller, fever-reducer and a decongestant for good measure, I grabbed a bottle of water before returning to Yugyeom’s room. With Jinyoung’s encouragement, the sickie had managed to choke down the entire bowl, which to be fair wasn’t much but it was better than nothing. Before he lay back down again, I handed him the pills and opened the waterbottle so he could wash them down. Jinyoung and I exchanged a long look, debating if and which one of us should stay to watch over our dongsaeng, afraid that both of us would overwhelm him. “Gyeommie, do you want any of us to keep you company?”, Jinyoung asked pulling the blanket up, so it would cover Yugyeom’s shoulder. “I-I’b ok od by owd” – “That’s not what I asked, brownie”, he frowned. “Ugh, could you stay, hyu’g”, he uttered so quiet that both of us almost missed it as he hesitantly reached for Jinyoung’s hand. “You don’t even have to ask”, Jinyoung smiled as he got comfortable on the bed as well, pulling the maknae into his arms.

I left them, only sneaking back in shortly to put a pot of tea along with a cup onto the nightstand, before meeting the rest of the group in the living room. Youngjae and Bambam were engaged in a tricky videogame task, while Jaebeom and Jackson commented, trying to be helpful but actually only being a distraction to the two players. Jaebeom was the first to notice my presence, worry evident in his eyes: “How is he doing?” – “Worse than earlier. His fever went up, making him emotional. Jinyoung’s staying with him for now”, I sighed, plopping down next to the others. Bambam paused the game, frowning: “Can we do anything to cheer him up? I can’t stand him being sad.” I shrugged not really sure on what to do to cheer the youngest up. “What about hot chocolate and cuddles while watching a movie?”, Youngjae suggested. “Yeah, chocolate always helps, as do cuddles”, Jackson agreed. “I don’t know. Let’s wait till the medicine is working and he feels less dead, then you can ask if he feels up for it”, I reasoned, amused at their enthusiasm to help our dongsaeng. “Ok, but we can prepare now already”, Bambam announced, turning the console off completely. They shooed Jaebeom and me off the couch to extend it to a make-shift bed, piling heaps of pillows and blankets onto it. “You really do want all of us to get sick”, Jaebeom laughed, imagining all seven members huddled together in front of the TV. “If it makes Yugyeom happy, why not?”, Jackson shrugged, dumping the last few pillows he could find.

Feeling not in the position to kill their drive, I went to the kitchen to prepare a large pot of hot cocoa, though I was a bit worried. What if Yugyeom didn’t want to join us? Sure, we’d cuddle, watch movies and drink hot chocolate anyways for the sake of the three members who put so much effort into creating a cozy space. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t be crushed by the maknae turning down their invitation though. I just hoped he’d want and also enjoy us all spending some time together. Deep in thought, I got startled by the hand Jaebeom placed onto my shoulder. “What are you thinking about?”, he hummed, cringing at the amount of chocolate I was adding. “I’m a bit Yugyeom doesn’t want to join us or will only do it for the sake of the others”, I confided in the leader. Checking the time, I noticed that it had already bin 45 minutes since I had given the youngest his medicine so I decided it should be working by now. “Jaebeom, could you go ask him and Jinyoung while I fill this into cups?”, I looked at him pleading, gesturing towards the pot and he nodded walking off.

 Yugyeom’s POV.:

Despite Jinyoung’s best attempts to lure me to sleep by petting my hair, I was unable to find rest. That’s why I appreciated my hyung’s presence even more. I really didn’t want to suffer by myself. The medicine Mark had given me was slowly taking effect, the pounding in my had been reduced to a dull ache and I think my fever went down a bit too, since my brain didn’t feel as hazy as before. A short knock on the door caused me to look up as Jinyoung softly answered: “Come in!” The door opened revealing our group’s leader who crouched next to me. “Hey, are you feeling a bit better?”, he asked, brushing the hair out of my face so he could see me better. I nodded, yearning for him to touch me like that again. Our leader is rarely that soft but when he is, it’s really precious. “The troublemakers set up a huge pillow- and blanket-pile in the living room, hoping you’d join them for cuddles and a movie. Mark made hot chocolate and although there are about two kilos more chocolate in there than I think could ever taste good, I’m sure you’d like it”, he exaggerated, making me smile a bit. My hyung really disliked sweet stuff. He already had me at ‘cuddles’ because, right now I was yearning for some affection, spoken or physical didn’t matter. With how low I felt, I also didn’t really care about what might be awkward as long as they’d distract me from my suffering. I gave a small nod, letting the leader pull me to my feet as Jinyoung got up as well. Seeing me stumble with dizziness, they both stayed close to support me as we slowly made our way to the living room.

Jaebeom hadn’t been lying, where did we even keep that many pillows and blankets? The others’ faces lit up as they saw me and I waved at them before being pulled into a tight hug. Jaebeom and Jinyoung stepped aside laughing and I just let myself be dragged towards the couch, my friends immediately latching onto me. I didn’t mind, it was comfortable. Mark walked in, balancing a large tray with numerous cups on it, needing Jinyoung to take them off the tray and place them onto the coffee table. “Ah, Gyeommie. I wasn’t sure if you’d join us but I got you your cocoa anyways and would have just brought it to your room, had you not wanted to come”, he smiled, handing me my favorite cup. Being sandwiched between Jackson and Bambam, with Youngjae lying next to my legs, I let Jaebeom drape a blanket around my shoulders while Jinyoung turned on the TV. “Which movie do you want to watch?”, Jinyoung asked and all eyes landed on me. “Uhb, I dod’t really care. I’ll probably fall asleep id the biddle adyways”, I stammered. “It doesn’t matter if you fall asleep or not. It’s your pick anyways”, Jackson stated, as the others nodded in affirmation. “Could we watch ‘A Christbas Carol’ if you dod’t bidt?”, I requested, fiddling with the edge of the blanket. My hyungs agreed, turning on the movie before settling into the pillows as well.

After lots of shifting around over the course of the movie, I had ended up with my head in Jaebeom’s lap. The leader had absentmindedly started to play with my hair, gently scratching my scalp. It felt so good that I struggled to stay awake. My head had started to hurt again but my hyung’s hands worked like magic. Not paying attention to the movie at all anymore, I closed my eyes and failed to suppress a content sigh.

 Jaebeom’s POV.:

I heard a quiet sigh and looked down at Yugyeom’s relaxed face. His eyes were closed and I was pretty sure he had fallen asleep on me, now that he was finally accepting our affection. The medicine was probably wearing off by now, as his cheeks were flushed pink again. When he blinked his eyes open for a few seconds, proving he was still awake, I noticed the glossy look in his eyes, a dead giveaway that his fever had climbed again. He unintentionally whined when my hand stilled for a moment and I was quick to continue playing with his hair. Jinyoung and I exchanged a look, both well aware that our youngest was feeling really bad. He would never ask for physical comfort but right now it seemed he desperately needed it. The movie soon ended but none of us dared to move. Jackson cooed at the maknae lying comfortably in my lap and I shot the rapper a glare, warning him not to make fun of the situation. “Gyeommie, are you awake?”, I whispered quietly as to not wake him should he have fallen asleep. He wasn’t asleep however, blinking at me. “Do you want to go back to bed and sleep?”, I asked, watching him struggle to stay awake. “Do, I’b cobfy. Dod’t bove”, he rasped, closing his eyes again. “Guys, why don’t you just put on another movie?”, Mark asked, observing our youngest. Sharing a look, we all agreed without words that we’d sit the entire night, watching Christmas movies, as long as Yugyeom was comfortable.

 Bambam’s POV.:

Somewhere during the third movie of the night, all my members had fallen asleep. Yugyeom was the first to nod off. He lay passed out with his head in Jaebeom’s lap, light congested snores coming from his direction. I was the only one awake at this point, continuing to watch movies by myself. They gave me a distraction from what was going on outside our dorm. Over the last few hours, the wind had picked up and I could hear it whistle past our windows. The rational part of my brain told me that we were fine inside the building, it was warm, we had light, everything was ok. To me it didn’t feel ok though. My stomach was in anxious knots as I tried to ignore the noise outside. It worked alright till suddenly everything went pitch black and I wasn’t able to see anything at all anymore. Being frozen in shock, I didn’t think to turn on my phone as a light source. All I could do was sit there and try to breathe while the sobs squeezed the air out of my lungs.

After what felt like an eternity, I almost got blinded as Mark who had woken up from my rough, choking breathing turned his phones flashlight on, shining it in my eyes. Cursing quietly, he freed himself from the blankets and hurried to my side, almost tripping over Youngjae in the process. “Hey Bammie, everything’s ok, try to breathe with me”, he instructed, holding my hand to his chest as he demonstrated slow deep breaths. But how should I believe him that everything was fine? The power had just cut off and there was a massive storm outside. Slowly there were more and more members waking up as I struggled to mirror Mark’s breathing pattern while my mind raced faster than the wind outside. After a few minutes, I could see their concerned faces through the tears in my eyes. The living room was dimly lit by candles. I was just catching my breath as Jinyoung kneeled down in front of me squeezing my knee. “Bam, can you tell me what happened?”, he asked in a hushed voice. “I was awake and then the power cut off. The wind is so strong”, I rambled, still clutching Mark’s shirt. Now that my hyungs were with me, assuring me that we were safe, it was easier for me to believe it. Jinyoung had taken my empty cocoa mug and now returned to the living room after refilling it with warm milk with honey. Still shaken, I thanked him, slowly sipping the warm drink. It was something that never failed to soothe me and of course my members knew that.

When I had finished my drink, I was finally calm again, even a bit sleepy. Mark had rubbed my back the entire time and now got up, stretching when he was satisfied I was ok. After running hot and sweating during my initial panic, I now felt cold and started to shiver a bit. Yugyeom looked at me sleepily and opened his arms. “Cobe here, hyu’g. I probise, I’b warb”, he slurred. Not having to be asked twice, I quickly got up and cuddled into the maknae’s side. He didn’t lie, the heat was still radiating off of him. “Sleep!”, he ordered with closed eyes as Jackson spread a blanket over both of us and Jaebeom turned on a Christmas playlist to drown out the noise coming from outside. I did, we all did. Despite the storm raging outside, we were safe in each others’ presence and with the candles illuminating the living room, I felt a sense of peace which I was certain the others felt too.

[rallamajoop]

A few rambling notes on my Witcher WIP list

Witcher fandom has done something to me, I do not know what. I have more different fics in progress (mostly Geralt/Regis or Geralt/Yennefer/Regis) in various open word documents than I have had in years – most of them short, and (even excluding the 3 I’ve already posted) several already somewhere in the basically done pending final edits/betaing/the inevitable 3-day debate over how to title and summarise this bastard-stage. That is some pretty atyptical productivity by my usual standards; we’ll have to see how it lasts.

More to the point, something about this fandom has me churning out these weird mix-and-match ficlets. Like, I have the beginnings of a Geralt/Regis/Yennefer sequel to a (as yet unposted) Geralt/Regis ficlet about a post-B&W-spontaneous-drunken-hook-up – but it made sense to me to just kind of avoid mentioning the status of the whole Geralt/Yennefer relationship during that initial drunken-hook-up fic, so that anyone who’d rather take it as a standalone from a ‘verse where Geralt and Yen never got back together can. In fact, there are already two different versions of that drunken-hook-up fic (preliminary titles: ‘happy-drunk-sex’ and ‘angsty-drunk-sex’), picking up from the different possible B&W endings, and either of them could theoretically lead into that G/R/Y sequel (or not). And then I found myself going, okay, but is it even really necessary to specify which angsty-B&W ending this is, given that there’s no outcome where everyone lives and Regis doesn’t leave – so you can have Geralt sitting there second-guessing all his choices little realising he’d be sitting there feeling almost exactly the same regardless of what those choices were? How can I resist that?

And so on. I mean, congratulations if you even managed to follow all the above – hopefully I’m going to find some better way of explaining it all in the fics themselves.

Now, the obvious excuse would be that playing choose-your-own-adventure is only what the games do, so perhaps it’s natural to carry the same logic into fic. Only problem being that I’ve already landed myself in the same boat with book-verse fic, given how I’m already telling people From the Wisdom of Bards can be taken as a sequel to the less-cracktastic A Decent Proposition, but could also just be a standalone thing if that’s what works better for you (and it may well do).

And lest you suppose that one might be an isolated case, there’s also this little Yennefer/Regis-“heeeeyyyy, what if Regis knew Yennefer from years before he ever met Geralt, and just never got around to mentioning it“-backstory fic I have started writing (look, I am determined to make this OT3 work even if I have to build that missing leg from scratch). It could feed directly into a post-B&W sequel where Yen and Regis finally get around to mentioning all this to Geralt – or it could be a prequel to that other book!verse AU I have planned-but-not-started, which is basically a retelling of A Shard of Ice only where the old flame Yennefer’s involved with on the side is Regis instead of Istredd and instead of her breaking it off with both of them, it ends in an OT3.

Figuring out how to sort all this nonsense into series on AO3 is going to be a hoot, seriously.

Then again, this is also the point where the savvier reader is probably saying, “joop, this is nothing you haven’t been doing for years – remember that old Cable/Deadpool teen AU that went even more AU because you were having too much fun to pick just one option? Or that Venom fic you eventually posted as a five-things scenario? All you needed was the excuse.” – and would probably be right.

(Leftover fic ideas that I have not found an excuse to mention yet because they are less complicated: that one crackfic where Geralt has to deal with the fact that not only has he just had an ill-considered drunken one-night-stand with Dandelion, but Dandelion is now trying to write a ballad about it, and a Discworld AU probably-also-crackfic where Regis is a black-ribboner and Geralt is a grumpy magical exterminator – because honestly I feel like The Witcher and Discworld’s senses of humour blend much better than they get credit for, and let’s face it, ‘exterminator’ is basically what Geralt’s job description becomes the moment you stick him anywhere half as modern as Ankh-Morpork. Oh, and that one Amnesia!Geralt/Regis fic my beta is looking at now.)

In short, I am having way too much fun with this fandom, and we may have to just wait and see how many of these do actually get written and/or posted (I mean, let’s be realistic here: my record for clearing out any fannish to-do list is no better than anyone’s).

Still, if anyone would like to try and nudge me towards one or another of all those potential WIPs, rest assured that replies and tags do always get noticed around these parts.

[fierysafrina]

Hoy que te vas | Obey Me!

Fandom: Obey Me! Rating: Teen (just in case) Word Count: 2.550 Genre: Slice of Life | Angst | Hurt Additional tags: tw: death Summary: It took you by surprise, but you couldn’t do anything about it. Notes: I honestly had no idea where I was going with this, but I suddenly felt really sad and this came out and then I got inspiration to write more. Also the title is actually from a same-titled song by a group RBD that some of you might know. It’s one of my favourite songs and while writing I thought it would be perfect for this one.

Please heed that there’s a character death.

Mammon

It was just a whisper. A whisper that, like a tug on his sleeve, tried to get him out of the room where he was. Stilling, Mammon raised his head from the manga he was reading and around, expecting to see you, but you weren’t there. How could you even be there when you left the Devildom months ago? Despite your constant calls and messages that you exchanged with everyone, it wasn’t the same.

Feeling a slight burn inside his chest, Mammon frowned. And he wasn’t the only one.

Lucifer

Just a whisper that made the oldest brother frown. He looked from the papers he was going over and up, expecting to see you sitting there on a chair, reading or playing with your phone, depending on the mood you were in. But you weren’t there. He suddenly found it hard to swallow with unbearable cold growing inside.

Something was wrong, because the pact that you had with him was slowly disappearing. But that shouldn’t be, because you still had decades before your death.

And there was something the demons forgot. Despite being a human, accidents occur daily.

You were staring at the message Satan sent you, smiling at it. It was a picture of a white cat when a bus came to a stop. You automatically raised your head to see a bus station, where a man stood. Focusing back on your phone, you were typing a reply while listening to music on your phone. You spotted the man passing you, but stopped since the seat on the other side was empty. Unconsciously, you looked his way, spotting scars on his hand that trailed up to his elbow. Pursuing lips into a thin line, you shook with your head before you looked out the window.

Going home after a full shift felt nice. Driving with the bus felt even nicer. You could finally relax already on the way, completely ignoring the traffic that you know would drive you insane if you went by a car. But with the bus? You could calm down and even take a nap if you wanted to.

A smile spread across your lips, remembering when you tried to work in Devildom. How unused and unsure you were. But with the help of the brothers, you slowly grew out of your shell. You certainly wouldn’t have gotten this far if it weren’t for them. Who knew, they could change you this much?

Satan

He was smiling as he read your reply to the picture of the cat. Looking at the cat in question, he caressed her head only to hiss when she scratched him. He frowned, because in a second she changed, her growling only growing louder each second. He retracted his hand in confusion, wondering what had gotten into her when he felt it.

It was small. Almost unnoticeable. But it was there. His heart paced up, because that shouldn’t be happening.

It was growing and disappearing at the same time.

Levi

Leviathan rubbed his eyes, stifling a yawn behind his other hand. He smiled when he remembered you’ll bring a game he might find curious. He couldn’t wait until the day you visit the Devildom again.

Assassin’s Creed is the title you told him. He checked it out and found his curiosity pique the longer he was waiting for that day to come.

I’m sorry, Levi …

Your voice rang inside his head and Leviathan froze. His eyes grew wider by each second that passed until he bolted out of the room, fear spreading inside him like a wildfire. No, it couldn’t be. No, no, you couldn’t. You couldn’t. You promised him. Promised you’ll play the game with him. You can’t do that to him. You can’t tell him of a game, give his hopes up and then disappear like that.

Everything was hurting. Your eyes fluttered open as you gasped for your breath. It was sunny, so warm. Warm that it hurt more than you thought it would. There was wetness that prevented you from looking so you closed your left eye. Your focus began to disappear, everything slowly turning into blurriness until you realized that you were crying. You choked on air, chest heaving, pain only to spread and grow. You shut your eyes and broke into a sob both from pain and fear.

“P-please…” you begged.

As you slowly loosened your conscience, the last thing you heard was your name being called from somewhere far away.

Asmo

Asmodeus was humming to himself while painting his nails your favourite colour. He was smiling as he observed his work he had done only to frown when he spotted nail polish on his skin.

“How silly…” he murmured to himself as he reached for a wipe to clean only to feel sudden dread. The nail polish he was holding fell, splattering on the table and floor. But he didn’t realize it because he was suddenly pulled out of his room to a place that horrified him more than anything. He yelled your name when he spotted you, completely ignoring the surroundings.

Beel … Belphie…

The twins were resting in the attic. Beelzebub was sitting on the bed while Belphegor’s head was resting on Beelzebub’s lap, sleeping. Silence surrounds them only to be broken by a scream, a yell of their brothers. Although so far away, they could hear Leviathan and Mammon – oh Mammon. His hoarse voice that sent chills down Belphegor’s spine. It was just like that day. When they found you unmoving by his hand. When he laughed into their faces how much they cared for you.

Beelzebub was moving while Belphegor remained sitting there. The older twin disappeared from the room, leaving the youngest alone.

Belphegor stared at his hands, a sudden image of you in front of him. How your eyes showed forgiveness before the light dimmed from them.

“What was I expecting?” he murmured to himself like he expected it.

So why the hell did it hurt so much?

Accidents occur daily. It could happen to anyone. It could be you today or someone else tomorrow. You never know when it comes, when it’ll hit. You may be dissatisfied with your life, but in that moment you might wish for one more chance. Just one more to do what you couldn’t. But it’s too late. You can be young, a seven-year-old boy, or old, a grandmother in her eighties that left her family behind. You could be healthy or you could have battled with sickness, illness your whole life. Sometimes you can prevent it in time. Sometimes it happens too fast to realize that it happened. You’re in denial, you refuse to believe, to admit it happened to you. But the truth is there. The reality is there and you have to live with the consequences if you want to or not.

Death is scary because it doesn’t discriminate, but maybe once you get to know it, it might take you by surprise. You wonder what is beyond it. A new life? Do you see your life replay in front of you as you pass away? Or perhaps you’ll be reborn instead? You try to find answers, only to come up empty handed, because no one had survived it.

One day we all leave. We just don’t know when.

Now that you think about it; it’s scary, isn’t it? Not knowing what the future holds.

But if you knew of your own future would you feel better?

When you opened your eyes, you realized you were lying on the grass. Sun shone brightly high in the sky as wind blew softly. There was a presence beside you that didn't disappear and you turned to widen your eyes when you spotted two angels.

“Simeon …” you called surprised.

The said angel smiled at you as he reached out his hand. You sat up before taking it. He pulled you off the ground swiftly and it was then you realized you’re wearing white clothes. An unusual colour, but it quickly dawned on you.

“Oh…” you murmured when you remembered the bus. “Oh …” You’re not sure what to say and Simeon can’t blame you. “Am I going to hell or heaven?” you spoke instead and the way the angels’ eyes widened made your own eyes wide. “I-I mean …” you tried to come up with an excuse only to fail.

“You have fulfilled your life.” The other angel spoke and you looked at him. “There’s only one path for those.”

“Have I really?” You nervously laughed and began to meddle with your fingers – a habit that never left. “I-I mean I got a good job, I have friends, and I live comfortably … well lived …” trailing off, you narrowed your eyebrows as you began to stare at the angel. You’ve never met him before, yet you felt like you knew him. “Michael?” you murmured.

The angel smiled with a small nod. “It’s Azrael’s job to meet with souls half-way, but I wanted to meet you instead.”

You looked at Simeon, who remained silent, but he watched you closely. “What-what is that …” you began only to stop, having a hard time speaking.

“It’s alright,” Michael’s voice was soft, quiet, almost like a lullaby to your ears. “We have all the time you need.”

“W-what’s that one p-path I have?” you stuttered and looked back at Michael.

“Humans are born with certain purposes in their life.” He began slowly. “Some find them, some don’t. Sometimes many humans have one and the same purpose; find a peaceful life, loving friends and to enjoy their life. Others’ purposes are to bring people together.”

“So, y-you’re saying I full-fulfilled mine?”

“Yes,” Michael nodded. “Everything happened as it should have so you don’t have a reason to remain here any longer. Your soul is already at peace.”

“Oh…” you murmured as you lowered your head.

“It’s okay to vent.” Simeon spoke. “You can feel angry and act on it.”

Looking at him, the corners of your lips twitched into a half smile. “It’s weird, but I don’t feel … angry.” You sheepishly admitted. Scratching your neck, you tilted head to the side. “More like … I feel worried.”

“Worried?” Michael repeated, his eyes slightly wide.

“Brothers,” you whispered, thinking how worried they must be for they certainly felt the pact disappearing.

“They certainly aren’t glad for what happened.” Simeon sighed and shook his head before he looked at Michael.

“You can meet them one last time.”

You remained quiet, not daring to say anything. Narrowing your eyebrows, you wrapped arms around yourself, a shiver running down your spine. “I want to…” you whispered and before you could take those words back, the scene changed and you found yourself in the Student Council Room, standing in the middle of it like the first time.

“[Name]!” Mammon’s voice called and he ran to you, hugging you tightly.

“Mammon…” you called surprised.

Others soon followed, except for Lucifer and Belphegor, who stood there wide eyed.

“Are you okay?” Leviathan asked, while Satan was looking over for your bruises.

So many questions were spoken that Michael had to step in-between. The silence that followed was unbearable and you couldn’t handle to see those questioning gazes that were aimed at you.

“What’s…going on?” Mammon murmured, eyes focused on you. “Y-you’re okay, right?”

Forcing a smile, you reached for his hand and squeezed it tight. “I’m sorry…”

“No,” he shook his head. “No!” He turned to Lucifer, eyes begging.

Lucifer stepped forward, hand on Mammon’s shoulder. He shook his head before he looked at Michael. “Is there no way …?” he trailed off.

“I’m sorry.” Michael answered.

“There has to be!” Mammon raised his voice, tears brimming in his eyes.

“Mammon,” you called softly and the said demon looked at you. “I’ll be okay.” You smiled and wiped his tears away. “Look at you, you’re such a big baby…” you chuckled and the next moment you were embraced once again, forced to fall on your knees as Mammon took you along. He clung on your shirt, face buried in your neck as he burst into tears. “I’m sorry,” you whispered and closed your eyes. “I’m sorry to leave you behind.”

You felt another pair of arms and you didn’t need to guess twice it was Leviathan. Slowly all brothers joined, except for Lucifer, who refused to show any emotion.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but when Michael said it was time to go, your heart sank. Satan, who refused to shed a tear this whole time, couldn’t hold it back anymore. And neither could Lucifer, because his eyes were glossy.

Lucifer approached you, his hands reaching for your shoulders. His eyes searched through yours for something you didn’t know. “Did it hurt?” His voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell him the truth. Not that you could remember.

“I didn’t.”

You knew it was a lie, because you remembered the position bus was in. It was thanks to Azrael you couldn’t remember the moment. And perhaps it was better that way.

Giving a small nod, Lucifer released you and stepped back, looking at Michael. “Is there really no other way?”

“You know there isn’t.” Michael answered with sadness. “If there was, we wouldn’t have lost souls that are unable to let go.” Something about the words he spoke made you even sadder. Simeon reached for your hand and squeezed it while Michael added; “They have fulfilled their purpose. It’s time they start anew.”

“Anew?” Beelzebub asked, his eyes wide and filled with hope.

“Yes,” Michael nodded, but Lucifer’s lips formed into a thin line instead.

“It’s not what ya think, Beel.” It was Mammon who spoke. Everyone looked at him while he stared directly at you. “Starting anew doesn’t mean they get born again a couple years later. Once someone fulfils their purpose, their soul is at peace. It doesn’t have any regret even if they feel like they missed somethin’. They don’t go to heaven or hell, they’re gone. Gone from this world. Nothing is left behind.”

“Their memories are.” Michael’s voice softened. “It’s how someone remains alive.”

Mammon gritted his teeth. “It’s not the same!” he raised his voice, fighting back tears.

Releasing Simeon’s hand, you ran to Mammon and hugged him tightly. “I’m content with my fate and I’ll always look after you, all of you.” Pulling away, you smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. “When you feel lonely, remember all those times we had fun together.” Caressing his cheek, your smile widened. “You really were my first, you know?”

Stepping back, you released his cheeks, but he reached for your hands, holding them. You shook your head and he reluctantly released you. Lucifer placed a hand on Mammon’s shoulder, but the latter refused to acknowledge him. You looked from one brother to another, smiling at them. All of them couldn’t hide their tears, no matter how hard they tried.

“It’s okay,” You spoke, your voice growing quieter. “You can let me go now.”

Your body began to disappear in a bright glow. One last look at Mammon and he reached out to you. You unconsciously reached back, a sudden fear of the unknown overwhelming you. It must have appeared on your face as well because Lucifer reached out as well, his expression filled with panic. Their hands passed through yours and all you could was close your eyes, all emotions leaving you.

The last thing you heard were brothers calling after you.

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

[buns-with-a-book]

Flowers of White 1 - White Cyclamen

Inspired by Sync’s idea here, I just took the idea and added more angst because...why not, tbh. The first of three chapters in this miniseries. 

Fandom: Devil May Cry Characters: OC, Dante, Vergil, Nero (mentioned in this chapter) Tags: @nimnox @furyeclipse @synchronmurmurs @harlot-of-oblivion @queenmuzz

Summary: The cyclamen often represents resignation and goodbye, a flower that brings with it ill news. 

Grey clouds hung high in the sky above Red Grave City, casting the buildings in a dull hue. Cassandra was settled in Dante’s chair, behind the desk, and curled up in a blanket. On days like today, with the cool weather making it less than pleasant to be out and about, she often curled up in Dante’s chair with a blanket and waited for the brothers to return. The dour weather often reminded her of home, of cloud-covered days. As she awaited the brothers return, her mind wandered to recent events. 

One such event that plagued her mind was the disappearance of Nero. Just a few days prior, Nico had called her to tell her that Nero was nowhere to be found. A mission must’ve gone bad, as Red Queen and Blue Rose were recovered but no devil hunter. The news hadn’t reached Kyrie yet (as far as she knew) but she could only imagine that Kyrie was just as worried about Nero as she was. Hell, Kyrie was a smart gal, she probably already had an idea that something was wrong. Cassandra ran a hand through her hair, wondering who or what could’ve taken Nero. Demons were a probable answer, to bait the legendary devil hunter Dante and his brother Vergil to a trap. There was also the possibility of an extremist sect of the Order of the Sword, seeking vengeance upon Nero. She threw that out of her head. If that were the case, then Kyrie would’ve been targeted as well and Nico would’ve said something about such a sect. 

‘Demons don’t leave voicemails...and neither do crazy extremist sects...so who else…’ The phone rang, causing her to jump. She looked to it before sighing, pulling the blanket off her. She waited for three rings, then a fourth before promptly picking up. 

 “Devil May Cry.” She feigned cheerfulness, despite her worries churning within her. 

“Cassandra, my...runaway bride.” She could feel her blood freeze. That voice was too familiar, a voice she had thought she buried in the annals of the past. “It’s quite lovely to hear your voice again.” 

“Cut the crap, Draco.” She hissed. “What do you want. How did you even get this number.” 

“The phone book, like all things. As for what I want, I want you back in my loving arms. I was so hurt when you disappeared that night.” 

“Cut the crap.” Cassandra growled. “What do you want.” 

“A renewal of the vows, of course! And we even have the ring bearer here.” There was the sound of shuffling before a familiar snarl. It didn’t even matter what Nero said, she could barely hear him over the panicked heartbeat ramming in her own ears.  

‘No...He’s got Nero.’ The thought was terrifying. Who knew what they had done to him? What could they do to him? Even without Red Queen and Blue Rose, Nero could still pack a punch. Despite this knowledge, the fact that Draco and the guard of Eternis Brillia had him just made her worry on end. He was more human than the rest of the crew, with the exception of herself and Lady. While he was resilient like Dante and Vergil, he couldn’t recover as quickly as the brothers. 

“You’re lucky we only found this...brat.” Draco’s voice ripped her from her thoughts. “That summoner friend of yours seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth.” Cassandra restrained a sigh of relief, knowing that they were merely talking about V. 

“He’s dead. He died in the demon tree.” A half-truth but not that Draco would know nor would she tell him. There was a soft swear on the other end. 

“Look, you either come back to Eternis Brillia and be the bride you were supposed to be or we hurt him.” She tightened her hand on the phone, letting out a soft exhale. 

“Gimme a moment…” She set the phone down on the desk, rubbing her face with her hands. On one hand, she still hated Draco with every fiber of her being. His ring had been sold during the time that Dante and Vergil were in the Underworld. She had long moved on, even finding new love in Dante’s older brother Vergil. A part of her wanted to fight against Draco, to go rip Nero out of danger herself.

But she couldn’t. This was the one time Draco had the upper hand. She had no idea where exactly Nero was nor what they could do to him. Nero was a son to her, despite their lack of blood relation. She wouldn’t forgive herself if they lost Nero and she was certain Vergil wouldn’t either, not after he found out Nero existed after all this time. 

With a defeated sigh, she took the phone back up.

“Alright Draco, let’s talk some terms.” 

“Oh? You’re not in a position to negotigate.” 

“It’s stuff for the wedding.” She pointed out. “Nero must be there. He’s my son.” 

“Slut.” She ignored his snide remark. 

“And I don’t have the ring you gave me. A demon ate it.” Another half-truth. The fate of the ring, once it was out of her hands and replaced with money, didn’t matter to her and Draco was unlikely to go off to hunt for it. “So you’ll need to find a new ring before we get hitched.”

“Alright alright.” Draco said lazily. “Anything else?” 

“...can we have it in Rothes? It’s a nice sleepy little town and the cyclamen in the little flower shop...they’re in bloom this time of year, as I recall.” 

“Oh, perfect for riding back into Eternis Brillia in victory!” He said. She winced at his gloating. “Who knew you were actually smart sometimes? Well, I’ll take care of everything else. You come to Rothes in two weeks.”

“Two weeks?”

“I mean, they have a courthouse. We can have a courthouse wedding to make it all official before riding back to Eternis Brillia. Oh, and don’t tell anyone about this. It’ll be just you and me and that whore’s son.” 

“Don’t you dare call Nero that!” She snapped. He scoffed. 

“Whatever. Bye.” He hung up. She set the phone back into the receiver and buried her face into the desk. Her hands entangled themselves into her hair, nearly pulling it out from frustration before falling lax in defeat. Her body began to heave as she began to cry, frustration turning into defeated sorrow. 

The fate she had long tried to run from came back to haunt her, and it dragged Nero into the mess too. Out of anyone that had to be dragged into what she had long tried to ignore and not think about, why Nero? He didn’t deserve it, hell none of them did. She thought she was safe from them, miles and miles away from the isolated city. For twenty-odd years, that had been the case. But her luck had run out at last. 

“Cass!” Dante’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She snapped her head up, watching as the brothers rushed to her side.

“Shit, I didn’t…” She sniffed, wiping her eyes with her hand. “I’ll go leave-”

“Did someone come and assault you?” Vergil asked. Cassandra made a face.

“He might as well have...he’s got Nero.”

“Wait, who?” Dante knelt down to look at her right in the eyes. Vergil bristled.

“And why does he have Nero?” Vergil asked, a deathly chill in his voice. 

“I...it’s a guy from my past. He forced me to marry him but w-we never said I do so it didn’t count.” She finally said, voice choked from trying not to cry again. “He somehow managed to get Nero and h-has him hostage.” 

“Cass, come on, give us a name.” Dante murmured, his hand gently squeezing her shoulder. 

“...It’s Draco. Draco Kinnaird. He wants me to go up to Rothes to marry him in their courthouse before riding back to Eternis Brillia like he conquered a kingdom or something.” She finally rasped out, all of her tears spent. “And I’m going. If Nero died because I said no...I would never forgive myself.”  A quiet fell between the trio before Cassandra stood from the chair, taking the blanket with her. 

“Cassandra-”

“I’m going to pack. In two weeks time...you’ll have Nero back.” She looked to the two of them, guilt and sorrow evident in her features. “I love you, both of you.” With that, she stepped upstairs to pack. Vergil watched her go, hands squeezed into fists. Dante stood up with a soft groan, walking to the side of his brother. 

“We’re not letting her walk somewhere that makes her miserable, right Verge?” The red-clad devil hunter said softly. He glanced to Vergil and smirked, just a little, at his gaze at the door that led to Cassandra’s room.

“Never.” He whispered. “But first, we need the appropriate attire.” 

“Oh, you’re going to crash a wedding? I think I’m rubbing off on you.” 

“Only for this occasion, Dante.”

[writeyourownlifestory]

Sucker Punched

Chapters: 1/9 Fandom: IT Rating: M Warnings: Mention of past child // psychological abuse, Fight Club!au Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, learning to love yourself 

By the time Eddie was 13, he was allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and several cooking oils. By 15, he had never swum in gym class and never went to a friend’s birthday party or had one of his own. By 16, Eddie knew that he liked looking at boys rather than looking at girls, though that didn’t seem to matter at the time. By 18, he had graduated high school and that was the end of his social life. And by 21, Eddie’s life had been torn to pieces.

He was a victim of Munchausen syndrome by proxy and now left without a mother, without a home, and without a clue. On top of being told he should go to group therapy, his caseworker had also suggested doing something to blow off some steam. Join a book club or go to the gym. Or maybe join a need-to-know based fight club. Either or.

Tag list: @richietoaster, @beproudtozier, @that-weird-girls-blog, @s-onora 

Dee Dee Blanchard was dead. She had been stabbed repeatedly by her daughter's boyfriend while she slept in her bed. Her daughter, Gypsy Rose, who was wheelchair-bound with many ailments, was believed to have been kidnapped by the killer. Later, it was found out that not only Gypse Rose been the mastermind in her mother's murder, but wasn’t sick after all.

She was a victim of Munchausen syndrome by proxy. In layman’s terms, it means the person taking care of you pretends that you’re sick to continue taking care of you. For some, like Gypsy Rose, it’s being told that you suffer from leukemia and other forms of the body affecting illnesses.

For Eddie, it was being told that the world wanted him dead.

For as long as he could remember he had been sick. His earliest memories had been visiting the hospital where his father would eventually die from lung cancer, only to wind up there himself with a case of acute bronchitis. He survived it, thanks to the help of modern medicine.

That was the last time Eddie remembered being sick.

The issue was, that wasn’t the last time he had been told he was sick. From the moment he came back from the hospital, everything just seemed to get worse. His allergies had picked up, and it seemed like almost every other weekend he was feeling off.

His mother had tried her best to help him. They made weekly trips to the doctors and had become regulars with the pharmacy. Eddie didn’t go out much, because the pollen in the air made him have a horrible reaction and on the rare chance he did go out and he scraped his knee or elbow, the bleeding never seemed to stop.

Soon enough, he just stopped going out altogether. He went to school and back, though that rarely lasted as he was homesick half the time. He would have tutors come to the house to keep his grades up, but he missed being around the other kids, missed having someone other than his mom to talk to.

Sonia had suggested homeschooling, but the doctor refused. Even with his sickness, he needed to be around other children, other people. His mother agreed, but only if he followed her rules. He couldn’t join any clubs or sports, because if something had happened if he had gotten sick or worse, they wouldn’t know what to do.

He carried his inhaler and assortment of pills around in a fanny pack because it was easier than shoving them into his backpack. He needed them on hand 24/7 after all.

By the time Eddie was 13, he was allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and several cooking oils. He couldn’t eat any blue dyes or anything with artificial sugars. He was on a gluten-free diet and used only antibacterial soaps and lotions. Perfumes gave him rashes and direct sunlight had an almost narcoleptic effect on him. He had asthma and panic attacks.

By the age of 15, he had never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He had never swum in gym class and never went to a friend’s birthday party or had one of his own. He never had any friends to call his own. The closest thing he had to one had been Greta Keene, as her father owned the pharmacy that he and his mother frequented.

Over time, Eddie realized that Greta was nothing but a heartless bitch who picked on others because she couldn’t deal with the fact that her father was a perv who checked out her friends when he thought she wasn’t looking. But during childhood, they had sat together as they waited for the prescriptions to be filled. Sometimes she would be looking through a magazine and she’d be nice enough to let Eddie look through it with her.

He couldn’t touch it thanks to the ever-so-worrisome possibility of a paper cut, but he would look over her shoulder and gaze at the pictures of the different celebrities and whatever products the magazine was trying to sell.

By the age of 16, Eddie knew that he liked looking at boys rather than looking at girls, though that didn’t seem to matter at the time. For a very long time, he thought he didn’t like either. He would watch people kiss on the television during a movie with his mom and he’d get uncomfortable with the idea of having someone touch him so closely and swapping spit so carelessly.

It wasn’t long before his teenage mind began to drift off. The screen time he was given was very limited, but he found his mother was something of a thick sleeper and using incognito mode was a good combination for being able to see the world for what it was outside of the bubble his mother had made for him.

He didn’t have any social media accounts, but he was able to see everybody else’s. People from school, random strangers who had interesting lives. He scrolled and scrolled, trying his best to imagine what it would be like to be an everyday kid out in the world.

Would he have been good at skateboarding? Would he have been a gamer? Would he have been invited to sweet-16’s and would he have eventually fallen in love with a girl from school? Would he have gotten excited by making out with her after the school dance? Would he have held her hand in the hallway as they walked to class?

Eddie didn’t think the girl part would ever come about, though he did find it rather fascinating how beautiful some boys would be. He never thought of himself much. He knew, in retrospect, he had nice cheekbones and a fit frame. He had boyish looks that remained graceful even as he went through puberty. His mother kept his hair at a nice length and he styled it well enough.

His clothing was something to be desired. Shorts that remained rough his tights and polo shirts with the collar always pressed. He wasn’t a boy scout, but he had the look of one. He tried not to think about wanting to change it up. Wearing clothing that clung to him or styling his hair differently.

He would see some boys online that just looked completely in their element and he would find himself angry that he couldn’t do the same and had very little chance to do anything about it. He would see boys kissing other boys and think about how his mother had brought home a pamphlet from the church about how same-sex relationships and ‘equality’ were wrong for the world. He didn’t understand why.

Kissing was meant to bring joy to people. Love was meant to bring happiness. How could any of that be so wrong? Sometimes he would want to argue with her, but he never allowed himself to do such a thing, not after his mother had put so much time and effort into taking care of him.

He swallowed that anger down, letting it a bubble and fester inside of him as he carried out his day to day life.

By the age of 18, he had graduated high school and that was the end of his social life. He would go out to the doctor or pharmacy, but that was that. No going out to get take out or to see a movie. His bedroom had become his sanctuary. His home had become his prison.

By the age of 21, Eddie’s life had been torn to pieces.

Good old Dr. Keene had finally snapped after years of pent up frustration. Nobody knew what caused it. Perhaps it was from the endless repetition of filling the same prescriptions for the same people every single day. Or maybe it was the guilt of being attracted to young girls that pushed him over the edge.

One second he was working on a puzzle, trying to collect all the edges and then in the next, he was watching his mother be escorted in a police car.

It seemed that Keene finally had enough with Mrs. Kapsbrak’s bullshit and let the authorities know that she and her doctor had been lying about Eddie’s illnesses.

He wasn’t allergic to any nuts, or dyes, or perfumes. His inhaler was filled with water and the pills were just placebos.

They had lied about everything.

Sonia tried to defend her actions, saying that Eddie was, in fact, sick and she just took extra precautions to keep him alive. The doctor, on the other hand, admitted that he was dirt and had been accepting payment for assigning Sonia in her beliefs. He wrote up the scripts for the sugar pills, writing off blase excuses for why Eddie felt the way he did.

The doctor was arrested for malpractice and Sonia had been taken into custody for abuse and after a bit of time, they found her guilty of being a proxy to Munchausen syndrome. She was sent to jail for ten years with the possibility of release in three years given good behavior. A restraining order had been placed to keep her away from her son. And Eddie was forced to leave the only home he had ever known and been placed into the foster system.

Though he was over the legal age and classified as an adult, the lawyer the state had given him fought that, due to his mother’s influence, he shouldn’t have been thrown out onto the street. They wanted to fight that he wasn’t fully developed, at least not mentally, and needed proper assistance.

It seemed like almost overnight Eddie’s life had changed. He packed up the few belongings that he wanted to bring with him and went off to a few towns over to where his new home waited.

It was there that he had learned about what Gypse Rose and her boyfriend had done. And that bubbling pit of anger inside him began to simmer as he thought of whether or not he would have done the same.

When he found out the truth, he didn’t know what to feel. He threw up a couple of times and begged the police to give him his medication. When they refused, sending in a doctor to explain the situation, he began to go through withdrawals.

It took a good few days for Eddie to finally begin to feel normal. For the headaches to go away. For the aches in his chest to finally settle down.

His new home was decent enough. It was a decent-sized house, filled with just a woman and her son. They hadn’t been strangers, at least not completely. It seemed Mr. Hanscom was his father’s cousin and had been best friends with him all those years ago. He also turned out to be Eddie’s Godfather and legal guardian if anything were to happen to either of his parents. After his father passed away and he had gotten sick, Sonia refused to let anybody see Eddie and all contact with the family was cut off.

Mrs. Hanscom and her son Ben had been very open to why they decided to take him in. Mr. Hanscom cared deeply for his cousin and was heartbroken when he passed. They had tried to fight Sonia on letting them see Eddie, but Mr. Hanscom died before they could take it to court. Mrs. Hanscom had always attempted to make contact and repeatedly sent birthday cards and letters to him, but they were always sent back.

After he had died, Mrs. Hanscom went through some tough times and had to move in with her sister. It wasn’t ideal, especially for Ben who had been dealing with a few issues of his own like bullying, but they worked hard so they could afford a place of their own.

First was an apartment just big enough for themselves and eventually, a home that could have an extra person. At first, Mrs. Hanscom had suggested they would bring in someone who could pay rent, but they later decided to welcome in someone who needed a place to go just as they had years prior.

And then the news broke out about what Sonia had been doing to him and they jumped at the chance to help him. They didn’t want Eddie to look at it as a handout or a fostering situation. He was free to stay for as long as he liked, glad to have a little piece of his father back in their lives.

Eddie did everything he could to be anything but a challenge for them. The situation was strange on all of them and the last thing Eddie wanted was to be a bother. He tried to work around his allergies, only to be reminded that they didn’t exist.

He could eat gluten. He could have peanuts. He could eat things cooked in certain oil and have those sugary cereals.

Not that the Hanscom house was filled with any of that stuff. Ben had admitted to him that he spent a lot of his time eating his feelings when he was a kid, earning him some interesting nicknames along the way due to constantly being bullied for his weight.

He slimmed down in high school, having joined the track team in hopes of gaining some popularity and shaking off the weight. It worked and he was now out of school, feeling healthy and looking good.

He was attending the University of Maine for architecture, deciding to stay home with his mom since the school was less than twenty minutes from their town.

Eddie, upon finishing high school, decided not to go to college.

Well, his mother had chosen that. Now she was gone and he didn’t have any money to go and his grades weren’t good enough to warrant a scholarship. So he was forced to carry on like the rest of the losers in his school and remain in Maine forever.  

Ben had been nice and got him a job at the grocery store in town with him. He had never gotten a job before and he was hesitant at first. He didn’t want to be a disappointment, but Mrs. Hanscom insisted that there was no way Eddie could be a failure at stocking shelves and bagging eggs for little old ladies.

Another thing they had done for him was to help set up a support group. The caseworker had it very clear that Eddie would have some mental issues after what he had gone through. They suggested having him go to a therapist, but Ben thought it would be more helpful for him to be around other people dealing with similar situations.

It just so happened that Ben had a friend who went to a group and they were able to squeeze him into it.

That’s how he met Beverly Marsh.

She was a friendly girl who had been through hell and back and welcomed Eddie in with open arms. He hadn’t been too keen on going, simply because he didn’t want to bother anybody with his problems.

It was just as they played it out on TV. They all sat around in a circle, introducing themselves to him and talking about their issues. The man running it offered one-on-one care if needed, though Eddie promised he would try out the sitting circle before branching out for personal help.

“It’s okay to be shy,” Beverly had mentioned as they walked out of the meeting. Eddie hadn’t spoken much, only when someone asked him a question, but even then he didn’t give more than a few answers. “Nobody likes to brag about the shit they’ve been through and if they do, then they’re worse off than the rest of us.”

“I just don’t think it’s worth anybody's time.” Eddie had mentioned, shoving his hands into his pockets as they walked down the street. “My mom was crazy. I don’t know what else to say about it.”

It was clear she had her issues to deal with. Eddie didn’t want to ask her why she did what she did because he already knew. She loved him and wanted to protect him, even if it meant doing unspeakable things.

Eddie knew people had it worse off. People like Bill, who dealt with a stutter because his mom knocked him down the stairs and had become neglectful since his little brother’s death, something that Bill himself still blamed himself for. Or Henry Bowers, who suffered mental abuse from the hands of his policeman father had turned himself into an abuser himself before finally being forced to seek help.

Or Beverly, who had been open to Eddie about why she was at the place, to begin with. During their first meeting, she said she had been abused by her father but didn’t go into detail. It wasn’t until they were alone when she confided in Eddie just how it had been.

The way he would treat her and touch her. The shit Keene used to do, leering at girls and making sly comments, couldn’t hold a candle to the horrific things Beverly had gone through at the hands of her father.

It was shit like that that made Eddie feel like he didn’t belong in the group, to begin with. All those people needed help because of the bad shit they had gone through. Eddie’s mother loved him, enough to want to protect him from the world. How could he complain about that? How could he compare himself to the likes of Beverly and Bowers?

Eddie felt more like a burden than he had before, but he swallowed down that pain and focused on the only thing he could control his job.

Mrs. Hanscom had been right when she said he wouldn’t fail. He succeeded in filling the shelves and bagging those eggs for the little old ladies.

He did that for two weeks, going to work and coming home to help with dinner, doing the dishes and washing his clothes and keeping his room spotless. A new routine for the same old guy.

Eventually, Mrs. Hanscom began to see how this was creating a rut for Eddie and thought it would be best if he joined Ben at the local gym. Eddie couldn’t think of a worse place to be, filled with sweaty men all grunting as they worked on their bodies, none of which bothered to wipe down the equipment when they were finished with it. Eddie stood off to the side for most of it, just following Ben around like a puppy with his tail between his legs.

“You know you can work out, right?” Ben asked a few minutes of Eddie just idling there. “You’re my day guest. Why don’t you grab a few weights and give it a go?”

“I’ll pass. Knowing my luck, I’ll wind up dropping it and breaking my foot.”

Ben snickered, sitting up from the lying position he had been working in. Eddie was sure it had a name, but he wasn’t aware of it. He didn’t know any workout slang or equipment names. Ben stood then, gesturing to the machine. “Lay down.”

“What?”

“Lay down. You’re gonna work those arms.”

Eddie shook his head, but Ben ignored his protest and requested to clean the seat down before forcing him to lay back. “Alright. This is a barbell bench press. We’ll start slow, okay?”

“Ben, we don’t have to do this,” Eddie swore, hugging when the other male pressed the metal beam against his chest.

“It’s twenty pounds, Eddie. You can do twenty pounds, right?” Ben asked, going to stand by Eddie’s head and spot him. He kept his hands hovering under the beam, letting him ready to catch it in case Eddie couldn’t do it.

But he did. He lifted it carefully, not with much effort. Eddie wasn’t weak, not physically at least. He should have been based on the way he had been living and the food he had been fed, but he found that some of the things his mom had been pumping into him, aside from sugar pills, had been vitamin supplements. All the vegetables that his mother had fed him were filled with enough protein to keep him moving, to keep up his strength.

So yeah, he could lift the twenty pounds. And then the thirty that Ben added. They went to forty and it got to be a bit harder, but he could still handle it. It was only when they got to the fifty pounds did he start to shake a bit, start to worry and doubt himself.

“Hey hey Haystack!” A voice shouted from across the room. Eddie lifted his head to see who was speaking but was quickly pushed back into his place by Ben as the man approached. “You throwing down tonight?”

“Nah, not tonight Rich,” Ben replied. Seeing as he answered the stranger, Eddie guessed that Haystack must have been a nickname of sorts. He didn’t get it, figuring it was some sort of inside joke.

“Awe, come on. Big Bill is gonna be dropping by and you know you can’t resist stepping in with him.”

“I have a handful of shifts this weekend. I can’t risk pulling something or messing up my hand.”

“Bah! Like you’ve ever lost.”

“I’ll stop by though. Cheer you on from the sidelines.”

“Now that’s what I call friendship Vol 12!” The stranger tapped Eddie’s knee then, prompting his attention. He craned his head up so he could gaze at him, finding a lanky man with wild hair and glasses standing at the end of the bench.

He had on gym shorts, much like everybody else and a white tank top, which was covered with an obnoxiously colored button-down shirt that was opened in the front. He had a headband around his forehead and thick glasses which made his eyes seem just a tad larger than normal.

“Aye, keep it up, small fry. You got this!” He cheered on before walking off.

Eddie faltered for a moment, letting his head fall back and then lifting it again to make his statement. “I’m not fucking small!” He shouted, causing Ben to chuckle from above.

“Ignore him. He’s not worth your effort, trust me. Had enough or do you want me to up it?”

“I think I’ve had my fill of bodybuilding for the day.”

Ben laughed and pulled the beam off him like it was nothing, carefully placing it down in the corner.

They left the gym and returned home. Eddie helped Mrs. Hanscom make dinner and set the table and then once they finished eating he helped clean up. They sat together on the couch, watching some movie on the tv. It reminded him too much of how he and his mother would spend time together.

They wouldn’t go to the park or out for walks. They stayed inside and did puzzles and watched tv. She would put on the news and show all the horrifying things going on in the world and comment on how lucky Eddie was that he could stay inside. They would watch old cartoons that were perfectly fine for a little kid well up until she was taken awake.

Mrs. Hanscom gave Eddie the choice of what to watch though he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know the television shows that were popular at this time nor did he care for anything. It was just white noise for him. He would stare blankly not even bothering to soak in what was being played out for him.

They settled on some reality show that was trashy and boring. Mrs. Hanscom would comment here and there about how ridiculous it was and how utterly staged it had to be.

After a while, Ben got up from the couch and went to change his clothes. He told his mom he was going out and kissed her cheek before walking out the door.

Eddie sat alone with Mrs. Hanscom, watching the trash television of overly wealthy people and the petty problems they lived with every day. Eventually, she turned in, wishing him a good night as she went off to her room.

She didn’t tell him to turn the tv off or to make sure he was in bed by a certain time. He was given choices for the first time in, well ever. Eddie did make his home to bed, ready to start the day all over again.

To work, then home, to make dinner and do laundry. He had a routine, just like he had before everything went to shit.

He liked it, to an extent. Liked knowing what to expect and having a routine allowed him to mostly stay sane in all of this. If he knew what tomorrow brought, then he would have something to focus on and wouldn’t get lost in the in-between.

He didn’t question where Ben had gone that night or where he had gone a few nights later. Ben had his own life and didn’t have to invite Eddie everywhere he went. He brought him to the gym for a second time, pushing him once again onto a machine so he could work on his upper arm strength.

Nobody paid much attention to him there, all speaking to Ben and offering him polite glances and nods. This time he was on something called a ‘hammer strength machine’ pumping his arms in and out. Ben once again spotted him, making sure he didn’t push it or hurt himself.

Eddie would have wondered why Ben didn’t go to school to be a personal trainer if he hadn’t seen some of his sketches and models. The guy was born to create buildings. He just happened to also have a knack for bodybuilding as well.

It wasn’t until Beverly had come around to pick Ben up to go out did she see that he was being left behind. She was pissed, more so than Eddie had been about the whole thing and threw a bit of a fit over it.

“You can’t just leave him behind, Ben!” She argued.

Eddie was just sitting on his bed, reading one of the books that Ben had lent him. He didn’t even realize that Ben was going out on this particular night until the redhead rushed into the room and told him to get dressed.

“I wasn’t leaving him behind on purpose,” Ben swore gently. “It just didn’t seem like his type of thing.”

“You said the same thing about me.”

“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” Eddie injected, trying to piece together what exactly was going on.

“We’re going out. Put your clothes on.” Beverly said.

There was something about the way Beverly presented herself that proved to Eddie she wasn’t a force to be reckoned with. He pulled his clothes back on and got into Ben’s car where he drove them out and away from the suburbs and into the grasslands. He didn’t get a chance to ask why they were out in the middle of nowhere when they were suddenly pulling up behind an old farmhouse.

Everything seemed so sketchy and murder and when he found there were more people there than expected, Eddie didn’t know what to think. They passed all the sheep and chickens surrounded by a pen, going further down until they came upon an area that was completely lit up by torches.

“What are we doing here?” He asked Beverly, following her off to the side.

In the middle of the crowd, there was a boxing ring. It was mostly makeshift, with the ropes around it looking tethered and overused. He wondered what a thing like this was doing randomly out in the middle of nowhere.

“Tonight, just watching,” Beverly answered to him.

“Watching what?”

“All right, all right! Everybody settle down!” A voice shouted out. A man appeared in the room then, followed by a second man. The first was dark-skinned and he recalled seeing around town before. His family’s farm supplied the meat for the grocery store. His name was Mike.

The other man was a stranger to him. Tall and thin, with short, neatly styled hair. Neither men looked like they were dressed to be inside the gym, with Mike wearing a plain tee shirt and jeans and the other wearing a button-up and khakis.

“Welcome everyone. We’re gonna have some good fights tonight.” Mike said, greeting the crowd once they relaxed a bit. “So far we have six signed up, which means three tights. Stan and I have put together who goes again who, so if you’re fighting or betting, listen up.”

The second man, Stan, held up a chalkboard for the crowd to see. “We have Denbrough vs Bowers. Cross vs Huggins. And Tozier vs Hotchsetter. Now, you all know the rules, so we’re gonna make this quick. No shirt, no shoes. No weapons of any kind.”

“The only weapon allowed in the ring is your body,” Stan mentioned, smirking down at the crowd.

“If you bleed, then you bleed. If you think something is broken, then you’re out. If someone says stop and if you do not stop, then that calls for what?”

“Total elimination,” Stan answered.

“If you wanna play dirty, you gotta pay the price. Now that we’ve reminded you how it goes: let’s begin, shall we? Anybody willing to take bets, speak with Stanley. Bowers! Denbrough! You have two minutes.”

“What is this?” Eddie asked, shifting aside as people moved through the crowd to get to Stan and make their bets.

“Have you ever seen the movie Fight Club?” She asked. “It’s sort of like that.”

“Bev, the only movies I was allowed to watch were G-rated films screened by my mother. Nothing with the word ‘fight’ would have passed her.”

“They’re gonna beat the shit out of one another.” Beverly simplified.

Before he could ask another question, both Henry Bowers and Bill Denbrough, two people that Eddie knew from the group meeting, slipped into the ring. Both were shirtless. Both were shoeless. Henry had his hair pulled back with a headband and Bill had some medical wrap wrapped around his knuckles.

Eddie moved closer, peering over someone’s shoulder to get a better look. Mike stood in the middle, reminding them both to be fair and to put on a good show before tapping them in. Bill and Henry circled one another before Bowers made the first strike. Bill blocked it easily, catching Bower’s off guard a half step later. It seemed like a simple boxing match except without the protective gear.

Eddie thought back to when he was eleven and had been flipping through the channels. He stumbled upon some MMA fight that was being televised. He was able to watch it for a good forty seconds before his mom flipped out and changed the channel. She rambled on about how dangerous fighting was and how sensitive Eddie’s skin was so if he were to ever be in a fight, he would be torn to pieces.

Eddie thought about what the differences would be, between MMA and boxing and whatever this thing happening here was.

In the tiny ring, they went at it, punching, and kicking, and biting, bruising skin and spitting out blood, they fought until finally, Mike seemed Denbrough the winner. The crowd cheered around them and despite having blood on his face, Bill still offered Bowers a hand to lift him. He guested it was out of good sportsmanship or something.

They left the ring, letting a few people slip inside to clean it up before the next two came up to fight.

Eddie recognized one of them as the fella from the gym the first time he went. He had his shaggy hair pulled back out of the way of his face and his glasses had been removed for obvious reasons. He was jumping up and down, practically bouncing with excitement as he stretched on the sidelines of the ring.

When Mike called his name, he hopped inside, pacing in place and punching the air theatrically.

Beverly stood beside him then, touching his shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, you okay?”

“How long do we have to stay here?” He asked curiously.

He guessed she took that as Eddie wanted to leave at that moment because in a flash they gathered up Ben making their way out of the crowd. The last thing Eddie heard was the animalistic shouts from one of the fighters in the ring before they were back in the car.

[thescribblerqueen]

Fanfiction Project List Pt. 2

(Because I have no control over my brain)

A continuation of my Flash/Glee/Agents of Shield fic ideas. Click Here for Part 1!

Flash Age Reversal Fic

Status: Not Written

Tags: Gen Fic, Barry Allen & Joe West, Father/Son Relationship, age reversal, not a crack fic, sort of a character study on their relationship, tags tbd

Summary: Joe deals with his feels of resentment towards Henry Allen as Barry’s Biological Father and all the things he missed out on with Barry. Barry comes into contact with a meta that reverses peoples ages and has to wait several months for the effects to wear off.

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Flash/Agents of Shield Foster Fic

Status: Not Written

Tags: Gen Fic, probably a one-shot?, Joe West & Iris West & Barry Allen & Skye/Daisy Johnson, Foster Family AU, Pre-winter soldier, Coma Barry, Tags TBD

Summary: One of Skye’s last foster families was the West family, Team Coulson looks into events after the particle accelerator explosion and she reconnects.

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For the Hell of It

Fandom: Glee

Status: Chapter 2

Tags: KurtBastian, Former Klaine, Ugly klaine breakup, it’s not bashing but might not for klaine fans, enemies to friends to lovers speedrun,one-night stand, and they were roommates, Post-Season 5, Fake Marriage AU, Fake Marriage with Benefits, denial which might count it as slowburn, trust fund Sebastian, character illness, mentions of homophobia, Tags TBD

Summary: After breaking up with Blaine and calling off the wedding, Kurt is avoiding going back to his apartment after work because they still live together. While stressing over finding a new apartment with everyone moving out he runs into Sebastian and they catch up and hook up. Sebastian offers for him to be roommates afterwards to solve his problems. Turns out when they aren’t fighting over a guy they’re pretty compatible. Things get more complicated with they decide it would benefit them to get married legally for financial and other benefits.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29502675

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Flash Westhallen Friends w/Benefits Fic

Status: Not Written

Tags: Westhallen, HalBarry,Westhawne, fake dating au, FWB, of course there’s smut it’s a FWB AU, angst, pining, jealousy, “unrequited love”

Summary: Barry made the stupid mistake of starting a “Friends with Benefits” pact with Iris and Eddie, who wanted to try somethings in the bedroom that Barry has experience with. He needs to get out of it before he gets hurt. His solution, fake date his old friend Hal Jordan who is also trying to avoid unrequited feelings. 

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Glee/Flash KurtBastian Fake Dating AU

Status: Not Written

Tags: KurtBastian, Westhawne, Blaine/?, former Klaine, unrequited feelings, Sebastian is Barry Allen, Bisexual Barry Allen, fake dating au, future fic, tags TBD

Summary: Kurt moved to Central City after Blaine starts dating someone else, and runs into an old face. Unfortunately, Blaine ends up in Central and to avoid ending back up together he asks Barry to fake date him. Barry uses this quell any suspicions that he still has feelings for Iris.

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Glee/Flash KurtBastian Coffee Shop AU

Status: Not Written

Tags: KurtBastian, starts as Klaine, Sebastian is Barry, technically a coffee shop AU, Post Season 3, canon divergence, mentions of assault/injuries, homophobia, Finn lives

Summary: Barry regrets choosing to work at Jitters during the summer instead of at the grocery store like Iris when Kurt Hummel, attending a theatre program in Central City, walks in and asks “Why does your name tag say Barry?”

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Glee/Flash Time Travel AU

Status: Not Fully Plotted

Tags: Probably going to FlashVibe, Time Travel, Sebastian is Barry,???

Summary: Barry inexplicably ends up back in the past without his powers and attending Dalton Academy once again. 

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Glee/Flash Young Flash

Status: Not Fully Plotted

Tags: Teen Barry, Everyone else is older, Barry and Wally are the same age, Sebastian is Barry, realistic coma, season 6 of Glee, Eobard burns down Dalton,???

Summary: Before his Senior Year ends, Barry is struck by lightning and is in a coma for nine months. When he returns to Dalton all of his friends have graduated but the New Directions are still around saving their old glee club.

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Glee/Flash Sebklaine A/B/O Fic

Status: Revived, On Chapter 2, Not Published

Tags: Sebklaine,Klaine, Sebastian is Barry (as usual), a/b/o dynamic, slight freeform, and they were roommates, Alpha Blaine, Omega Kurt, Omega Barry, secret identity, insecurities, smut, heats, & ruts, unplanned pregnancy, summer fling with breakup, drama and angst, Tags TBD 

Summary: Barry ends up in Lima for his forensic internship and doesn’t expect to be renting the same house as Kurt and Blaine. And they only know him as Sebastian Smythe, so he has to pretend to be Sebastian again for the summer. It all goes down hill with an unexpected heat.

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Glee/Flash Thallen 

Status: N/A

Summary: After Eddie’s death and then his dad’s, Barry takes a leave of absence from work and goes to his High School Reunion and spends time reconnecting with old friends. The team promised to call him if they needed him back, but they are completely unaware that at the same time, the time line is being altered in Central and leaving everyone outside of it unaffected.

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Flash/Agents of Shield Daughter AU

Status: N/A

Tags: FitzSimmons, Multiverse, slight time travel, parents being the same age as their children, Deke is an alternate timeline son of Caitlin, slightly inspired by another fic but also I just think Caitlin and Jemma look alike 

Summary: FitzSimmons Daughter is taken from them as an infant and she ends up on Earth-1 as Caitlin Snow. When they finally track where she went Caitlin is already full grown despite that it’s only been a few months for them.

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Flash/Agents of Shield Ward AU

Status: N/A

Tags: Multiverse, Redemption Arc, Post Hive, I might make this a Flash/Ward (Just as Warning), the speed force revived and fixed him then spit him out on Earth-1

Summary: After dying as Hive, Ward some how finds himself alive on another Earth rescued by Team Flash. He knows that whatever happened to changed him, because he can honestly feel emotions he’s never felt before including grief, regret, and disgust over his past actions. A brain scan shows him that he no longer has the chemical imbalance that made him a psychopath. Can he work towards redemption for himself?

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Flash FlashVibe A/B/O

Status: N/A

Tags: FlashVibe, A/B/O, Flashpoint w/o Savitar, Miscarriage, mpreg, Hurt & Comfort

Summary: After the Flashpoint is set in stone, Barry experiences an unexpected miscarriage from a pregnancy he didn’t know about. Cisco isn’t speaking to him over Dante, so he can’t bear to tell him and makes Caitlin keep it a secret and he moves out of Cisco’s apartment. Eventually he finds out and they have to figure out how to move forward.

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All my prompts that aren’t fully worked out enough for summaries:

Five Reasons Barry Allen Needs a Dog

Thallen A/B/O

Allenbert Harry Potter AU

SinghAllen (One-shot?)

Uncle Coulson AU (He’s Barry’s Uncle)

Glee/Flash Twin AU

One-Shots of Pre-Canon Joe West/Cecile Horton Dating/Being Married

Some sort of Nerd Polyamory FitzSimmons & Barry Allen

[marshmallowprotection]

Hey! In fact, I would like to open a tumblr for writing and imagines about MM. But the thing is, I'm not rly sure about that, like I'm not confident enough. Do you think that's a good idea? And what would be your advice? I'm sry if this is too much but you have this weird appealing and reassuring aura, I would say you make me wanna trust you haha

Oh, well I’m flattered you think I have some appealing energy. I try my best to be a kind person and genuine. I think it’s important to think with a positive note even when it’s hard to do so, trying to shift your perspective on the world doesn’t all that easy to some people, but I think trying is the real effort that we all can strive for to combat toxicity and our ill thoughts towards ourselves. 

I think that’s a great idea! Writing is a good outlet to channel your feelings in a way that you may not be able to verbalize or put into thought with your feelings in a personal way. 

Putting that steam and feeling into something written can, sure enough, make you feel surely like you’ve made something from your feelings. Anyone has the capacity to create and to be a writer if they so want to. It’s not about writing style, or if you have a “perfect” written work. God knows my writing is riddled with a lot of errors and grammatical faux pas from a grading standard, but that’s nothing but fancy talk. 

The most important thing in writing is that you can feel what the writer penned on their paper, or typed on their keyboard. I spend a lot of time reading and looking at stories that may not ever get glanced at due to the writing style and God, let me tell you that there are so many creative people out there that get overlooked due to their style. 

Writing is like art, you grow and get better as you keep doing it. 

I’ve been doing it for a long time for fun, and I still think I have a long way to go to get anywhere, whereas I think some people would say the same thing if they look at my stuff. We’re all learning and growing, and being positive to one to each other as well as helping each other get better is a great thing to do cause fandom is about friendship and support. 

I think it could be a great idea for you. 

Writing has helped me find a stronger voice because for a long time, I didn’t really have a voice and I didn’t really feel great about myself. I still struggle but knowing that I can channel my feelings into something that makes someone smile... God, I can’t express the feeling that I get when I answer a request. I think you could find that same feeling, so my first advice is that you keep an open mind and be kind to yourself. 

Don’t kick yourself for just starting out. 

We all start somewhere. 

Now, as far as a blog goes... Set your rules first. What are you willing to write? What aren’t you willing to write? Lay down what feels right. What is a trigger to you and what won’t you do? Like, I don’t do Yandere stuff, as an example. So, think about your comfort zone and label it thusly. Are you willing to write N/S/F/W or not? Label that. Are you okay with writing for multiple characters? Or do you want anons to limit their requests to a certain number per post? 

Make sure to set up a tagging system! Character tags, fandom tags, tags for any triggers, and so on and so forth. That helps a lot more than you think it would, to be honest. Masterpost is also great to have so make a chart for yourself as soon as you can when you start writing! 

Kindness is key. Don’t let anyone pressure you to write something or send you messages that are rude. You’re doing it for free, so they will get what they will get and they will wait for it if they truly love your writing and want to see what you have to say. Close the ask box if you have to sometimes, God, I’m still learning that one. 

Remember to always share your warmth with others, but don’t let anyone in that has ill-intentions. If you feel shady vibes or uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to get rid of an ask if it doesn’t sit well with you. It’s your blog, you write what you want and you do what you want. 

Oh! I know I’m rambling here, but if you do make it, let me know and I’ll give you a shout-out and probably read a lot of your posts. I love reading what others have to say. 

[shyung-shoes]

tagged by the absolutely wonderful @kyunsies <3333 (i didnt know u changed ur url till this post!! its v cute!!)

20 questions!!

1. what do you prefer to be called name wise?

my full name is jillian but everyone calls me jill (except my family, especially my mom) i love nicknames tho but have never really had one beyond jill so if u give me a nickname ill die

2. when is your birthday?

aug 28

3. where do you live

east coast babyyyy

4. three things u are doing right now?

procrastinating on an assignment, watching a drama (while you were sleeping), and ignoring the basket of laundry i need to put away

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

apink, gwsn, astro, april!! im still very new to all these groups tho so if anyone has any content/music recs, please lemme know :D

6. how's this pandemic been treating you?

it was a lot harder at first w/ the sudden transition from college to home. i was super happy at school and it was rough on my brain to be back home. but now ive adapted more and am doing better! i cant wait to go back to school though god

7. a song u cant stop listening to right now?

gonna reveal the extremes of my music taste but uh after the bloom (alone) by gwsn and bonfire by childish gambino. also without me by eminem. idk i think ive been feeling very angry/annoyed so rap is just a good way to get it out. and ive been fuckin so hard w/ gwsn’s discography that i had to put them on here

8. recommend a movie

tune in for love! truthfully, i prefer watching tv to movies but i watched this the other day and really enjoyed it! very cute and the ending was an actually satisfying ambiguous ending which is rare i think. its on netflix :P

9. how old are u?

18- im almost always the baby among my friends :// and i think im the baby on here a lot too

10. school, university, occupation, other?

im a rising sophomore in college and currently working as a dance teacher and waiting to hear back about an internship that’s actually in my field (event managment)

11. do u prefer heat or cold?

cold! i run hot naturally so i overheat super easily and i hate that feeling of sweating and being lightheaded. winter fashion also is much more my speed with boots and big jackets and darker lip colors

12. name one fact others may not know about u

im in a sorority! i think one or two people may know on here but i dont talk a lot about it. gamma phi baby (also @kyunsies youre only 4′11?? a baby!!)

13. are u shy?

i wouldnt call myself shy, im just anxious so im much more quiet when i meet someone for the first couple times. once im comfy w/ someone, my personality really comes out for all its dramatic glory

14. do u have preferred pronouns?

she/her

15. biggest pet peeve?

almost all my pet peeves have to do w/ eating lolol cause i get really bad anxiety and sensory overload from things like chewing sounds. so when people eat with their mouths open or let their silverware scrape across their teeth frustrates the hell out of me. the last one feels very specific but it irritates me yeet

16. what is your favorite ‘dere’ type?

tsundere or dandere i guess?? when a character starts to open bc of their love interest... i love it. ESPECIALLY when that character then becomes more open w/ other people because of their love. this also probably explains my natural tendency to love scorpios i think

17. rate your life 1-10, 1 being rlly crappy and 10 being the best it could ever be

i think im a solid 7 rn! which is honestly a lot better than i wouldve given it a month ago so thats a plus. im struggling w/ some mental health things rn but honestly, im pretty content with the way things seem to be unfolding for me

18. what’s your main blog?

this one! its not my actual main blog but this is the only one i use, tumblr just wont let me make this my main bc its dumb

19. list your side blogs and wha they’re used for?

i had a voltron side blog back in 2017? i think? but i havent watched the show in years bc its problematic as fuck i just didnt realize it back then

20. is there anything u think people need to know about u before becoming friends with u?

i am an extremely inconsistent responder- i am the epitome of the will respond in 2 seconds or 2 days thing but i will always respond to your message at some point. if this is about friends irl, its that i always have an earbud in and thats not an exaggeration- listening to music always makes me less anxious so i constantly just have an earbud in in case i feel myself get jittery. so i promise i am paying attention even if it doesnt look like it- im top tier at being able to pay attention to a song and a conversation

ill tag... @wennjunhui @leexchan @iiasha @lovechwe @1of1orbit @agemnor(theres ofc no pressure!!! <33)