#iliad incorrect quote

[ellilyre]

Agammenon : I sleep with a knife under my pillow

Ajax : I sleep with a spear !

Odysseus : I think I win this one bc I sleep with Diomedes

Odysseus : and also he sleeps with a knife

Odysseus : I know that bc he once woke up from a nightmare and accidentally almost stabbed me in the middle of the night

[incorrecthomer]

[at Achilles's funeral] Agamemnon: *places his hand on the pyre and sobs* Agamemnon: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

[clairepatroclus]

[little-cereal-draws]

These three because I love this ship so much

*Penelope and Diomedes flirting with each other yet again* Odysseus: And you two are sure you're not dating? Penelope: 100%. Diomedes: Of course not! Why would you think that? Odysseus: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Diomedes. I fucking wonder.

-

Diomedes: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Diomedes: Penelope is still mad about it, but me and Odysseus were drunk and thought it was funny. -

Odysseus: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Penelope: Yes? Odysseus: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Penelope: Fuck. Odysseus: It's gonna be a fun week! Penelope: I'm going to Diomedes's house. Odysseus: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker. -

Penelope: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Diomedes: It’s my turn to cuddle Odysseus. Penelope: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT! -

Diomedes: H-how do you ask someone out? Odysseus: Well, first- Penelope: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Diomedes: ...And you said yes? -

*Odysseus is telling a story* Penelope: Wow, Odysseus, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! Diomedes: Romance? Penelope: I'm in love with him. -

Penelope, holding a rock: Diomedes just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock". Odysseus: If you don't marry him, I will. -

Diomedes: It's pretty cold outside... wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Odysseus, blushing: Okay. Penelope: It's fucking summer. -

Odysseus: If I say I love you, will you say it back? Diomedes: Yes. Odysseus: I love you. Diomedes: It back. *Later* Penelope: Why is Odysseus crying face-down on the floor? -

Penelope: Ooh, somebody has a crush Odysseus: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Diomedes. I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him. *Later that night* Odysseus, very much awake: Uh oh. -

Penelope: Did Diomedes just tell me he loved me for the first time? Odysseus: Yeah, he did. Penelope: And did I just do finger guns back? Odysseus: Yeah, you did. -

Penelope: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Diomedes. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Diomedes! Odysseus: Nope. Penelope: In that case, as the archbishop of Odysseus's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Diomedes right on the lips!!! -

Odysseus: Thank you all for coming. Penelope, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. Odysseus: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Odysseus Task Force". Diomedes: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way. -

Odysseus: *looking through his closet* Has anyone seen my top? Diomedes: Penelope’s in the kitchen. -

Diomedes: *sucking on a popsicle* Penelope: Pfft, you practicing for when Odysseus gets here? Diomedes: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle* Penelope: *Concern* -

Diomedes: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Odysseus: Like its slips on and off really easily. Diomedes: Odysseus: No, I didn't mean it like that- Penelope: We know what you meant. -

Penelope: Can you please just apologize to Diomedes? Odysseus: Fine, but I have to warn you that this may make me a nicer, better person and that is not who you feel in love with. -

Diomedes: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Odysseus: I’m “a couple of things”. Penelope: I’m “got distracted”. *Penelope and Odysseus high five* -

Penelope: That shirt looks great, Odysseus. Odysseus: Thanks. Penelope: But I bet it would look even better on Diomedes's floor. Diomedes: Are you hitting on Odysseus... for me? -

Diomedes: Hey, Odysseus? Can I get some dating advice? Odysseus: Just because I'm with Penelope doesn't mean I know how I did it.

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

Odysseus: What's up with Achilles? He has been laying on the floor for like.. an hour now?

Breises: He's a bit overwhelmed

Odysseus: And why is that?

Breises: Patroclus smiled at him

[kupidachillea]

I was bored

Images from Pinterest

[eeviaylxix]

achilles: so you're telling me... you didn't go on a rage-induced murder spree after your boyfriend died in battle?

hamilton: ...no?

achilles:

hamilton: are you okay??

[bcb-brian-camryn]

Achilles: "You're the best of the Myrmidons"

Patroklos: "I'm Lokrian"

Achilles: "You're Myrmidon by marriage"

Patroklos: "We're not married"

Achilles: "Not with that attitude!"

[mytho-maniac-108]

Greek army: *breathes*

Nestor: Back in my day-

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Achilles: See I'm straight but if there was a man I would marry it'd be Patroclus.

Briseis: How do you feel about that, Pat?

Patroclus:

Patroclus: It's not helping with the rumors.

Briseis: I think the kiss you guys shared in my tent isn't helping with the rumors.

Achilles: Yeah I just hate that he didn't give me enough tongue.

[ellilyre]

Diomedes : so, mh...

Diomedes : want some wine ?

Odysseus, pointing at Telemachus: HE'S FOUR

Diomedes: IDK WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT

[incorrecthomer]

Athena: You think I enjoy being mother hen to you all? Odysseus: Diomedes: Achilles: Agamemnon: Athena: Ok fine, it's like crack to me

[athenas-sw0rd]

Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.

Achilles: I never considered you at all.

[marsdeathdefiances]

Odysseus: *gazing at Diomedes* Gods above he’s hot…

Achilles: *gazing at Patroclus* Isn’t he, though?

Agamemnon: *overhearing them* Who’s so hot?

Achilles and Odysseus in unison without looking away from their crushes: Your mom.

[aficionadoenthusiast]

agamemnon: so what are your powers?

ajax: i'm super strong

odysseus: i was blessed by athena with wisdom

achilles: i have super human speed

patroclus: i can control achilles

agamemnon: that's not really-

odysseus: no, trust us. he's our strongest member.

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

How their first meeting actually went-

Patroclus : Hi I'm patroclus and you are?

Achilles : in love with you