#ik there's a lot of replies on that post asking for a part 2 and asking to be tagged in it

[miyamoratsumuu]

WE DESPERATELY NEED P2 TO THE OUT OF REACH TEXTS. PLEASE.

(ps, i cried and genuinely felt heartbroken even tho he’s not real and i have a loving bf- you’re the problem/j)

heyya anon!! so so glad you enjoyed the short smau!! I'm not sure if I'll be making a part 2 though, given that the idea for the smau only came to me on a random wednesday afternoon 🙏🏼🙏🏼 but for everyone asking to be tagged if there is going to be a part 2, I'll make sure to tag you all!!

[wonustars]

In Front of Me (1)

cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me ₊˚

⊹ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader ⊹ genre: bestfriends to (?), angst, smut (R: 18+ mdni) ⊹ wordcount: 40.6k (part 1) (part 2: here)

⊹ summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time.

⊹ tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, unrequited love (for the most part), pining, toxic!wonwoo, toxic!reader, both in wonwoo and readers pov, questionable protagonists, mentions of other svt members, happy ending (?), emotionally constipated characters (wonwoo), flashbacks, slight seokmin x reader, a lot of emotions thrown everywhere. (content warnings under the cut)

⊹ note: this story was meant to be posted for wonwoos bday, but if you know anything about me by now, i never really stick to my self made deadlines lol. thank you to my cutieful, big brained beta readers: ♡ @junkissed @chocosvt and @sunniques ♡ everyone in @svthub and @highvern and @gyuswhore who helped me w this fic as well ! if u look closely this is pretty much just a sugar coated version of real life events lol... anyways i hope u enjoy and lmk what u think thru the replies and reblogs :) !

⊹ masterlist, fic playlist.

⊹ smut tags: no smut in this part :p ⊹ warnings: alcohol, reader is downbad for wonwoo, stalking, slut-shaming, evasions of privacy, if i missed anything lmk! cuz ik i did i just can't think of what hehe :p

⊹ what i would like to note about this story before you read it: you're not meant to like these characters (for most of the story at least lol), they are flawed in many ways, thats the whole point of this story tbh. tmi--but this story is pretty much my free therapy lol. and i love a messy plot! wonwoo and reader are just two normal people in this story and i wanted to write something a little more raw than i'm used to. so just take what i say with a grain of salt before reading ♡ i still want you to enjoy this story because i poured my soul into it. so thank you for your support and kind asks and comments about the teaser!

prologue. 

Despite your age, you’ve never been in a serious relationship. There was always something holding you back, or rather, someone. 

In all the years you’ve known Wonwoo, you’ve always thought maybe one day, he would look at you in a different light. Hoping that he could reciprocate the feelings you’ve harboured for him since the eleventh grade. 

He was the one who constantly moved out of relationships. You couldn’t even count the amount of late-night calls where he asked you what his “next step” should be. The doting best friend that you are, you’d gladly stay up all night trying to help him fix his girl problems. 

“I just, I don’t have feelings for her anymore. Is that wrong?” he asked you over the phone. 

Tossing and turning in your bed you let out a deep sigh. One thing is always guaranteed with Wonwoo: in a relationship, he loses feelings quickly. No matter how much he likes the girl, no matter how obsessed or possessive he feels for them at the beginning of it all, it diminishes by the time the six-month mark hits. 

Although he may be a great friend to you, relationships were never his strong suit. 

“It’s not wrong to fall out of love, but how many times are you going to break up with someone before you decide to stay?” you ask him, and he pauses to think. 

“I don’t know, but I can’t stay, that would make things worse,” he sighs. “It’s better to just stop this whole thing now.” 

“I agree, but are you sure?” you continue to ask him the same questions you’ve been asking since you were sixteen. 

“I’m sure,” he replies with a heavy sigh. 

“Okay, then goodnight. It’s almost one in the morning,” you try to cut the call, but he continues to speak. 

“I’m not the bad guy, right?” he asks you for reassurance. 

“No, you’re just human Wonwoo. There’s nothing wrong with losing feelings for someone,” you affirmed. 

“Alright, thank you, good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers listlessly. 

“Good night, Wonwoo.” 

Your phone beeps indicating that he’s hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you? 

act one, favorite crime.

chapter one. 

“Wait, what? You and Wonwoo aren’t dating?” Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat. 

The rest of your friend group is boring holes into your face as they all sit around Jeonghan’s living room. The blood rises in your cheeks, but you shake your head anyway. 

It feels like every time you’re with your friends, they ask you the same set of questions. Constantly wondering why you and Wonwoo haven’t thought about dating, or why you two haven’t decided to take the chance and just be together. 

“You guys need to stop asking that. A guy can befriend someone of the opposite gender,” Wonwoo defends the two of you. 

“You’re telling me in all the years you’ve known her, you haven’t developed feelings for her once?” Cheol continues to instigate, and your eyes go wide. 

Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond. 

“No, c’mon, we’re just friends. That’s it, right?” Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up. 

Your mouth runs dry as he stares at you, his eyebrows rising in anticipation. 

“U-uh yeah, Wonwoo’s right, we’re just friends,” you blurt out, not being able to handle all the expectant eyes on you all at once. 

“See? Now can you all just get off our backs?” he chastises. 

The chatter starts up again, moving past the topic of you and Wonwoo’s friendship. But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. He’s completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.

You understand your relationship with Wonwoo is different from most people’s, but at the same time, it should be normal for a girl and a guy to just be friends. And at least you respect Wonwoo’s feelings, and you also respect that whenever he’s dating someone the dynamic between you two shifts. 

He becomes more detached when he’s in a relationship, and you’re okay with that. His priorities change and you’re okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you can’t force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that. 

You’ve never tried to get in the way of his love life, or purposefully give him bad advice to ruin what he has with someone else. Not since you were seventeen, and at that time in your life your frontal lobe was a measly speck of dust, but it's different now. Now, your morals don’t change just because you love him, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less to see the person you’re in love with, fall in love with someone else. 

two. 

“Hey, you okay?” Seokmin approaches you, and you turn your head, acknowledging his presence. 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m alright,” you mutter, but you know you don’t look that way. 

Seokmin has known you since high school and has seen you through everything, probably more than Wonwoo. He knows when you’re not feeling well. A sympathetic permanent on his lips as he continues to observe you play with the food on your plate, pushing around the food aimlessly but never taking a bite. 

The sounds of people conversing throughout the dining hall never die down. But luckily, the commotion keeps your thoughts of Wonwoo at bay, or at least that’s what you like to think. But your heart can’t seem to let go of that moment from the other day. Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife. 

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? You can tell me,” he sighs, pushing the hair covering your face and placing it behind your ear. 

You can feel the tears start to pool, but you try your damndest not to let them spill—not like this, not in front of so many people. 

“It was just something Wonwoo said when we were all at Hannie’s house,” you mumble, refusing to make eye contact with your friend. 

“What did he say?” 

“That he’s never liked me before,” you sigh, feeling a tear slip from your eye. 

Cursing yourself in your head, you hate how much your feelings for him affect you. You hate how he doesn’t have to even be in front of you, yet he can still cause your emotions to fluctuate. 

“It’s alright,” he coos, pulling you into his strong arms. 

It felt weird, to hug Seokmin so tightly in the middle of your university’s dining hall. But you’re thankful for how aware he is, how he actually cares about your feelings. You felt melodramatic sitting there crying in the fucking dining hall of all places, but you couldn’t help but let your tears flow as Seokmin comforts you with his soft voice. 

“You deserve more than this, I hope you know that,” he whispers in your ear.

three. 

Over the next few days, the words Seokmin had whispered to you kept replaying in your head. You did deserve better and looking at all of Wonwoo’s past relationships is the perfect example. He’s not exactly the ideal boyfriend, so why did you even have feelings for him in the first place?

You could feel a migraine coming on from how hard you were thinking, but Wonwoo still seems to be the only person you can’t let go of. No matter how many times you’ve tried. 

A knock on your door brings you out of your thoughts. It was late, and you don’t remember anyone messaging you saying that they were going to come over, but you open the door anyway. 

“Hey, sorry I didn’t text,” Wonwoo moves past you, takes his shoes off, and plops on your couch. 

“It’s okay, what’s up?” you move to sit beside him. 

“I broke up with her,” He says, shrugging. 

Taken aback by his nonchalance, your eyes widen. He seems calm for someone who has just broken up with his girlfriend. But you try not to think too hard about it, or you might just have to take another Advil to remedy your already growing headache. 

“Well, how did it go?” you ask with a bit of apprehension. 

Knowing Wonwoo, you knew that he probably just dumped her over the phone or something. He’s never been bothered to really break up with someone. 

You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him. It’s pitiful, to say the least, people probably would think that you’re a masochist because you subject yourself to staying by his side when he has feelings for another. 

“She was crying, but at least it’s over now,” Wonwoo informs you as he eats the snacks you had left on your coffee table. 

“Oh.” You could feel the guilt start to seep into your veins. 

It never felt good to hear Wonwoo talk about his breakups, but you’re not sure how to react. There’s a part of you that’s happy to know that he’s single again, but the majority of you pities the girl who had just gotten her heart broken. 

Wonwoo continues to munch on the snacks left on your table while your mind tries to process the information you’ve been given. Hearing him talk so casually about his breakup leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you decide to switch topics instead of asking any more questions. 

“Are you still going to Seokmin’s thing this weekend, though?” you ask him, trying to fill the air with something to drown out your rapid heartbeats. 

He shrugs his shoulders, “If I feel like it. Are you?” 

The bottom of your stomach tightens. You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there. 

“I mean, I don’t have a ride so…” you trail off, pretending to pay attention to whatever was playing on the T.V. screen. 

“I’ll go since you’re going, that way you have a ride,” he mumbles, adjusting his posture to lean back on your couch. 

He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up. You’re very aware of his proximity, and you try not to let it show. But the smell of his cologne invades your senses, knocking the breath out of your chest. 

Wonwoo’s arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder. Exhaling, you let yourself enjoy his way of showing affection. Although to him it means nothing, and to you, quite literally everything. 

“Thank you for agreeing to go to Seokmin’s so I have a ride,” you whisper but still avoid eye contact so he doesn’t notice your flustered expression. 

“Thank you for letting me barge in here just so I can talk about my breakup,” he whispers back, kissing the top of your head. 

“Of course, what are best friends for?” 

four. 

Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.

 Falling in love with Wonwoo wasn’t gradual at all. 

If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day. Your affection for him grew rapidly, and before you knew it, your mind was clouded with him and him only. It became hard to stay rational as if you were driving down a snow-filled road without any control over the steering wheel. Swerving into different lanes, your brakes malfunction, making it hard to bring your car to a full stop. Falling in love with Wonwoo was not gradual or easy.

When you met him on the first day of your junior year of high school, your sixteen-year-old brain couldn’t fully comprehend your crush on him. He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you. But that didn’t stop you from liking him. Despite his interest in collecting pokémon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love. 

You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea. 

When he returned for your senior year, you could barely recognize him. Suddenly the nerdy Wonwoo you knew was gone. His glasses complimented his face, his hair was styled differently, and most of all, he got hot. A lot of your classmates must’ve seemed to agree because now your best friend and the man you’re in love with gained attention from people who didn’t even bat an eyelash at him last year. 

It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didn’t mean he was that much different from how he was last year. 

Even though Wonwoo was in a relationship, he still stayed true to your friendship. He still hung out with you, ate lunch with you, you even came over on weekends to have dinner with his family. Day by day, your love for him strengthened, and you ignored that his attention had been divided between you and his girlfriend at the time. 

When their relationship hit three months, it seemed your friendship had come to an abrupt halt. He didn’t invite you for dinner as often, you two didn’t talk on the phone every other night. He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasn’t worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice. 

“I feel like I need to break up with Haein,” his deep voice flowed through your phone speaker. A sigh left his lips as he faced the truth. 

Haein was Wonwoo’s first girlfriend. She was nice, almost too nice. Wonwoo definitely had a type for girls with a bubbly personality. Ones that were effortlessly beautiful, reminiscent of a freshly made porcelain doll. That was Haein to you, unblemished in every way possible. Everything that you weren’t.

You couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. She was too nice to hate, but your younger self was so angry at how much of Wonwoo's time she took up that you envied her. Seokmin once jokingly mentioned that you looked especially green when she was around, and you remember how quickly you checked your appearance on the nearest reflective surface because of what he had said in passing. You remember vividly how nervous his words made you, was it that obvious?

Wonwoo’s first time calling you about his breakup plans was a delightful surprise, and you were too in shock to sputter out a proper response.

“Oh. Why?” was all you could say, still stunned that after a week of no contact, this was the first thing he said. 

“‘Dunno, I just don’t like her anymore,” he admitted effortlessly. 

You didn’t know how to respond. Your heart was screaming at you to encourage him to break up with his girlfriend at the time, while your brain was telling you to think logically. 

“Well, if that’s what you think is right,” you mumbled, trying to hide the fact that you felt a sense of relief at Wonwoo potentially being single again. 

Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.

History repeated itself over and over, and the older you got, you learnt to not be so selfish with his attention. Mostly out of guilt for the person he was going to break up with, but also because you didn’t want Wonwoo to realize your true feelings. 

Although being in love with Wonwoo was brutal, you constantly wished that things were different between you two, but they weren’t. He’s never seen you as more than a friend, and as your friendship with him progressed, you had begun to learn to mask your romantic feelings for platonic ones. 

five. 

By the time you entered university, you had mastered the art of pretending. As if your feelings for Wonwoo didn’t exist. You are quite meticulous in ensuring that he never realizes that you are profoundly in love with him. The mere thought of him finding out how you truly felt frightened you. 

You’ve already envisioned countless scenarios on how it could go. The idea of being rejected by the one you love most. It would change everything about your friendship with him.  The look of pity in his eyes, the apologies that would spill out of his mouth. You can't bear even the thought of rejection. Not from him. 

Two voices are constantly at war inside your mind. Your brain, acting as the voice of reason, constantly reminds you that it’s better to preserve your friendship. To keep the dynamic you’ve always had with Wonwoo guarded where it could last, thrive. While your heart persuaded you with deluded, fake scenarios. 

‘What if he likes you back?’ 

‘You never know until you try.’ 

‘Take the risk or lose the chance.’ 

What if. 

Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesn’t let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit. 

The possibilities are endless, and you’d rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality. 

A notification brings you out of your thoughts. Although you already knew that it was Wonwoo, you scramble to pick up your phone. There’s excitement laced in your veins as you look down at the screen. 

7:06 p.m. [wons <3]: be there in 5. 

There was no reason for you to be so ecstatic but you couldn’t help it. He had already texted you prior, notifying you that he was leaving his place to come pick you up, and yet every time your phone buzzes, you still hope that it’s something completely different. But that was your heart talking; you knew that it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary. 

Everyone had planned to meet at Seokmin’s place today, just to have one last celebration before midterms began again. You had happily agreed, enthusiastic that you could spend more time with Wonwoo, although it wouldn’t be a one-on-one thing. You were more than elated to see him while also being able to hang out with the rest of your friends. 

Throwing your phone back on the bed, you change into an outfit that is both cute and comfortable. There wasn’t a reason to dress up when the vibe at Seokmin’s was just going to be sitting around his living room, drinking cocktails and eating pizza. 

Wonwoo texts you once more to let you know he’s outside, causing you to race down to meet him. A lump in your throat arises, as he comes into your field of vision, appreciating how breathtakingly handsome he is. 

The chilled breeze brushes through the strands of his hair, glasses perched on his tall nose. He looked amazing, just like he always had, but you never get bored of admiring him. Even if it’s just from afar. 

“Hi! Sorry if I kept you waiting,” your voice resounds into the night. 

“It's never a problem if it’s you,” he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car. 

Trying not to read too deep into his words, you snort at his cheesy line instead of giving a response. Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know you’ll think about it for the rest of the night. 

“Are you ready to go?” he asks, smiling at you. 

The ride to Seokmin’s house is fairly quiet, the sounds of music filling the silence instead. Your thoughts are overflowing with scenarios once again, wondering how different the car ride would be if you and Wonwoo were in a relationship. His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough. 

…

  The clock on Seokmin’s pale white wall is nearing midnight and you don’t want to be here anymore. Not when the only thing you could focus on was Wonwoo flirting with a girl whose name you didn’t catch. She’s Joshua’s childhood friend and he only brought her along because she’s visiting from out of town. Whoever she was, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwoo’s deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.

The ugly swirl of jealousy sits in the pit of your stomach and you couldn't help but scoff at your wretched situation. It made you sick watching them, and you could throw up any minute now. At this point, you weren’t sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesn’t realize how greatly he can impact your feelings. 

Just a few hours ago, you were in utter bliss. Sitting in the front seat of his car, listening to the music softly playing on the ride to Seokmin’s apartment. Making stupid jokes and pointing out the random sights that you had seen while driving down the bustling city streets. You envy how easy it is for Wonwoo to make all those feelings of delight vanish. And he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know what he’s doing to you, and that’s what hurts the most. 

“You doing okay?” Seokmin comes up to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah I’m okay,” you chuckle, but there’s nothing humorous about your laugh at all. 

His eyes soften, he knows that you’re not okay. Seokmin always knew. After all these years, he can tell when you’re trying to save face. There’s a lump in your throat, and if you didn’t have a drink to sip on to distract you, you probably would’ve gone to the bathroom to cry. 

“You wanna talk in my room?” he offers, and you’re grateful. 

Seokmin knew he had to get you somewhere other than the living room. You were practically torturing yourself, sitting on the couch and watching Wonwoo talk to everyone but you. 

Instead of agreeing vocally, you nod your head before standing up to follow Seokmin to his room. The door shuts softly, muffling the sounds of laughter and allowing your uneasiness to finally subside. 

As you sit on Seokmin’s bed, you feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks. It feels pathetic, crying over something so trivial. Why does it have to be you who feels this way? Why can’t you just be a normal friend and see Wonwoo in a platonic light? The whole world could turn upside and he’d be the first person you search for. 

Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? It’s tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that you’ll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesn’t love you back. 

“It’s okay, just let it out,” Seokmin whispers in your ear, embracing you in a tight hug. 

Crying felt good. You rarely cry over your situation despite how upsetting it is. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to finally indulge in your sadness and let go of everything you were too afraid to say or feel.  

“I know it sucks right now, but honestly, it might be time to get over him,” Seokmin continues to comfort you while trying to help you face the reality of your situation. “You’re so hurt, and it’s taking a toll on you. Please, I can’t bear to see you so sad.” 

His words hit you hard because you know it's true. But all you can do is apologize. Saying sorry for feeling this way, even though it’s not your fault, you cannot control your feelings, you still apologize. To Seokmin, to your friends, but also yourself. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you hiccup, tears staining Seokmin’s white shirt. 

“Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong,” he mutters, his large hand patting your head, trying to soothe your fit of emotions. 

“Because, if I was normal, you wouldn’t have to worry about me, about why I’m always upset, you and the others, my feelings are burdening all of you,” you continue to weep softly in his arms, gripping onto his shoulders as his hands encircle your waist. 

“Hey, look at me–” he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. “You are not a burden. We care, that’s why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.” 

“Thank you, Seokmin. I’m so happy that I have someone like you in my life,” you pull him into a hug again, knocking the air out of his chest, but he’s still somehow able to hug you even tighter. 

Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. He’s always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo. 

“I’m so tired, I’m tired of feeling like this,” you admit to him. 

Running his hands through your hair, he gives you a reassuring smile. 

“Maybe it’s time to distance yourself from him a bit, you two have been glued to the hip for so long. Maybe that distance can help organize your feelings better,” he mutters, catching the stray tears that pool at your chin, and wiping them away for you. 

“I want to feel better,” you agree with him, still trying to recover from how hard you were sobbing into his chest. 

“I care about you, okay? We all do. Wonwoo cares about you, too, but there’s a point where you’ll have to be okay with whatever outcome happens if you decide to tell him how you feel. Or you just have to find a way to get over him,” he speaks softly, trying not to crush your heart with reality, but you know he’s right. “In the Future, you will thank yourself for making whatever decision you have to make, but trust me, holding all these feelings in won’t do you any good.” He ends his pep talk there, and you sigh, trying to process everything he said. 

“Thank you, Minnie, I’m so thankful I have you,” you sniffled. 

“And I you.” 

…

Seokmin explained to Soonyoung and Jihoon that you needed to go home after your talk in his bedroom. They were more than happy to take you along with them before heading back to their place, not wanting to force you into a car with Wonwoo at the end of the night. 

“Of course, it’s really no trouble at all,” Soonyoung reassures you after you had asked about a million times if it was okay to ride home with them. 

The car ride is drastically different from the one you had taken on the way to Seokmin’s, Soonyoung being the number one reason why. He’s not the best at reading the room, although Jihoon is constantly telling him to shut up. He knows you are upset over something, but Soonyoung’s way of cheering you up is getting you to laugh. While Jihoon believed that you may want a more peaceful environment after everything that happened. 

As Jihoon drove, Soonyoung sang along with the lyrics of the current song playing. Loud enough for anyone outside the car to hear him. You could tell he was a bit tipsy after the few beers he had earlier, but you didn’t mind the noise. Jihoon begged to differ. 

“Soon, can you tone it down? Please. People are looking at us,” Jihoon grumbles, trying to focus on the road ahead. 

“But you love it when I sing,” Soonyoung whines, and you can’t help but laugh. 

“I do, but our friend has had a long night,” Jihoon counters. 

Soonyoung turns to face you from the passenger seat. “If you want me to be quiet, I will.” 

“No, it’s okay, I’m actually enjoying it, thank you very much,” you giggle, and that was all the confirmation he needed, going back to his antics. 

Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him. This distraction from all the conflicting thoughts gives you a refuge from the war inside your mind.  

The whole way back to your place was filled with singing and laughter, allowing you to finally feel at ease for once. Albeit Jihoon pretended to act annoyed the whole time, you knew he secretly loved how Soonyoung tried to bring the mood back up to help you. 

Once you got home, you thanked the two before bidding them farewell. Apprehension flowed throughout you, and you didn't want to be alone with your thoughts after being around someone as cheerful as Soonyoung. But you didn’t know where else to go or what else to do.

Laying in your bed, you think about how today went from beginning to end, and you’re scared of what will happen in the future. Sighing to yourself, you allow yourself to at least get some rest instead of staying up all night thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow. Turning your phone on "do not disturb," the stillness in your apartment lulls you to sleep. 

1:09 a.m. [wons <3]: seokmin said u went home early? u ok? 

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

chapter one. 

Wonwoo’s ride home was sombre, yet desolate. Your absence from his passenger seat irked him. Street lights whisk by his vision in a blur, but he’s too lost in his thoughts as he drives on autopilot, wondering why you went home so early. You didn’t even say goodbye. It’s the first time you went home from Seokmin’s place without him. 

By the time he got home, his curiosity had started to claw at him, but he didn’t want to be irrational and assume the worst. So he texted you, hoping that there would be an explanation awaiting him in the morning. 

Not a single notification from you came that very next morning. No matter how many times his phone went off, no matter how many notifications popped up from his screen. None of them were you. Morning turned to afternoon, and afternoon slowly turned into night. Still nothing. 

He feels dejected. Everything seemed to be going okay just last night. That was until you abruptly left without telling him you were going home. What changed? Why did it feel like there was a shift between you two? 

Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo. Most times, it’s him that’s doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the breakup and lose feelings first; every decision he made was made by him. He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling. 

Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least that’s what he forces himself to believe. That it’s not fair of you to ignore him when he’s worried about you, because he’s your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up at your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been. 

Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care. Because in his mind, you’re his best friend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesn’t even consider it a possibility. You were busy, that’s it. That has to be it. 

… 

Less than forty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence was perfectly normal, then maybe you would eventually end up answering him. 

12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?

Nothing. Not even a thumb’s up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing that’s so important that you couldn’t even open his message let alone read them? 

1:27 p.m.  [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didn’t give it to her though 😁

Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He can’t believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes it’ll be the text that finally gets you to respond. 

2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u.  [1 photo attachment] 

Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of what’s worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.

4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today? 

The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed. 

4:30 p.m.  [wons <3]: saw u get into seokmin’s car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw. 

Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin, of all people, solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just can’t stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back. 

Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, he’s unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up. 

two, wonwoo’s summer before senior year. 

The school year flew by with the speed of light. And before Wonwoo knew it, he was home back in Korea for the summer. The dreaded fifteen-hour plane ride over was excruciating. There was an ache in his lower back, and his knees felt like they were being struck by a hammer with every step he took. But at least the worst part was over. 

Sixteen-year-old Wonwoo was quite naive, thinking that he’d be welcomed into his home country with loving arms. That hadn’t been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldn’t help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him. 

He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone. With you by his side, Wonwoo had finally understood the true meaning of solace, a peace of mind that couldn’t be replicated. Not even the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown could outweigh the feeling of tranquillity that he got when he was with you.

Every year that Wonwoo was dragged back to Korea by his parents was excruciating. Especially because he had a certain distaste for his relatives. Maybe it was disrespectful to loathe them the way he did, but he couldn’t care less. Their scathing comments would flow out of their mouths just to pierce daggers of judgement into his back. To insult Wonwoo was second nature to his aunts, and he couldn’t do much but sit back and listen.  

Much to his dismay, his parents hadn’t even bothered to book an Airbnb for their stay, informing him and his brother that they would be staying with his aunt. He couldn’t stand his aunt Seo-Ah in particular, and he swore the feeling was mutual. Unsure of why he had to withstand her crude remarks in front of his family without much protest, he forced himself not to dish out rude rebuttals to everything she had to say. 

There was a time when Wonwoo tried to reason with himself on why his aunt was filled with so much bitterness, but he gave up on that long ago. He was about to be seventeen now, and he couldn’t bring himself to empathize with the older lady anymore. 

“Wonwoo! You’re all grown up now, and I can’t believe it,” Seo-Ah forced him into a bone-crushing hug as he tried his best not to push her off of him. She pulled back to take a closer look at him and he could already see the scrutinizing gleam in her eyes, “You know, you’re still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?” 

Wonwoo wanted to scoff at her, but he kept a neutral expression. 

“No they do, I don’t know maybe it’s my fast metabolism or something,” he refuted her claims. He couldn’t wait to get out of her sight. 

“You know, maybe you should start going to the gym, get some muscle on you or something,” she patted his lanky arm and laughed that dreadful laugh. The ones that have no real humour behind it, just to cover up the obvious dig she took at his appearance. 

“Yeah maybe,” he dismisses her to head into the house. Setting his luggage down to check whether or not you’ve texted him yet. 

It was about five in the evening in Changwon, but he knew you wouldn’t be asleep. Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed. 

[4:15 p.m. kst]  [you: i stayed up all night watching buzzfeed unsolved]  [you: im going crazy i keep getting paranoid to the point i’ve turned all my mirrors backwards]  [you: hope ur flight was ok tho!!! 🫶]

He chuckled to himself, remembering your wide eyes and elaborate plan to sneak snacks into your room in the early hours of the morning behind your parents’ backs. Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit. 

Wonwoo did not care for horror or anything scary, but if you were to ask him to stay up all night on Facetime binge-watching your little Buzzfeed videos, he would do so in a heartbeat. 

Two days down, about another 89 to go, Wonwoo thought to himself as he looked through your messages with him. You had already spammed the chat mercilessly about your first two days of summer break, and your intricate mission to stay up without accidentally falling asleep in the middle of it all. 

[6:00 p.m. kst] [1 photo attachment]  [you: currently trying to sneak snacks into my room without my mom knowing]  [you: u better not snitch 😾]  [you: its so boring w out u here btw SO COME BACK SOON PLSS]  [you: ok thats enuff…txt me when u land!]

Wonwoo really missed you. 

…

One more week and Wonwoo would finally get to see you again. The ability to talk to you in person, hug you, and spend time with you gave him something to look forward to, and thankfully, summer break went by fast because of it. 

He had spent most of his time in Korea eating at local food spots, going to the gym, and trying a lot of new things with his brother, Seongho, giving them time to bond before he went off to University again. Wonwoo had missed his brother dearly during the school year, but at least they were able to pass the time together during summer break. 

It was initially his brother’s convincing that got him to go to the gym for the very first time. The idea of going to a place with a lot of sweaty, adrenaline-filled people kind of frightened him, but the more he went, the more he started to like what he saw in the mirror. Wonwoo’s shoulders had broadened, and his lanky arms finally started to show signs of muscles. He was satisfied in knowing that all of his hard work, and Seongho’s encouragement had finally paid off. 

Seongho told him he looked a lot more carefree now that he wasn’t so worried about his appearance all the time. And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasn’t all that bad-looking, after all. 

Wonwoo had begun to take pride in his vanity. He searched for different ways to style his hair, bought glasses that better suited his face shape, and, most of all, did his best to act more confidently. The sudden change made him wonder how you would react. He had been anticipating your reaction, wanting to see the look on your face once he returned home. 

“You got it. Just one more rep, and we can switch,” Seongho encouraged Wonwoo as he tried to push the bar up from his chest. 

His muscles were aching in the most addictive and satisfying way. He almost wished he had started working out earlier because only good things seemed to have come ever since he stepped foot into the gym. 

“Okay! You’re done, that was good,” his older brother high-fived him, a proud smile dancing along his lips. 

“Thanks, but my arms feel like jelly now,” he huffed a chuckle before gulping down the contents of his water bottle. 

Seongho chuckled along with him before setting himself down on the workout bench. His actions faltered, and he slowly observed the mirror in front of him, raising his eyebrows in amusement. 

“Uh, don’t look now, but I think that girl is staring at you,” Seongho tilted his head in the girl’s direction and Wonwoo couldn’t be more confused. 

“Huh? Are you sure it's me they’re looking at and not you?” 

“I’m serious! You should go talk to her,” Seongho grinned, pushing his younger brother in the direction of the girl who was supposedly eyeing Wonwoo. 

“Hyung!” Wonwoo calls out but it falls on deaf ears as his older brother begins his bench presses. 

Wonwoo turns towards the girl in the most awkward way humanly possible. He was completely dumbfounded and not sure what to do in the situation he’d been put in. The girl who was staring at him waved flirtatiously, and before he could even think about his next move, his feet had begun to move on their own accord. 

“Hi, I saw you working out over there, are you new here?” she asked him, batting her eyelashes. 

“Uhm, I guess? I’m only here for the summer though,” he spoke with apprehension, because what the hell was he even supposed to say? 

“Oh! Me too. My name is Haein, by the way.” Haein’s smile reached her eyes as she giggled, and her hand extended to shake Wonwoo’s. 

Wonwoo’s actions were practically robotic, rubbing his sweaty palms on his gym shorts before taking her hand in his. He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun. 

“I’m Wonwoo.” 

“Wonwoo, hmm, that’s a cute name. But I think I would like it more in my contacts,” she flirted shamelessly, her fingers squeezing his sweaty bicep. 

Wonwoo’s mind short-circuited, and he took out his phone from his pocket so fast it almost slipped out of his grasp. Haein found it endearing though, and happily gave him her phone number. 

They talked for the rest of Wonwoo's time at the gym and promised to hang out more before they both went home at the end of the summer. 

To put it simply, Wonwoo was on cloud nine for the first time since he’s been here. Suddenly his aunt Seo-Ah’s words weren’t so hurtful, his confidence had skyrocketed, plus he had a beautiful girl to talk to for the rest of his vacation. 

By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less. Even though he still saw you as his best friend, he began to find peace in other things, like the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown. Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon. 

…

The after-effects of Wonwoo’s surprisingly pleasant summer vacation hadn’t worn off just yet. The gift of Haein appearing in his life seemed to just keep on giving. Not only did she live overseas, she had told him that she was actually from the same city as him. It was a little hard to believe at first as if he was the main character in a cheesy rom-com, but he couldn’t find it in him to complain. Haein made him feel wanted, excited, and cared for. 

Wonwoo wasn’t entirely devoid of those feelings, especially with you as his best friend, but it was different coming from Haein. Every time he saw her, he felt like he was going to throw up, in a good way of course, but she also boosted his confidence. He liked that she made him feel like he was a man worth depending on. 

Haein was his first real relationship, and although he was still young, he could see himself being with her for a long time. 

…

Quite like the seasons, Wonwoo’s feelings for Haein changed drastically by the time school was back in session. Although he and Haein lived in the same city, there was a lot more than just distance that separated them. 

Six months into their relationship, Wonwoo began to doubt himself. He was less eager to meet her or even text her. He could only blame himself for how things turned out with Haein. Despite his adolescence, he believed he loved her; he just got tired and disinterested. 

On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control. Why didn’t Haein ever want to talk about what Wonwoo was interested in? Why did she seem bored out of her mind when he would delve into his theories about his favourite shows? Or anything about himself and what he liked. As though she didn’t see him for the Wonwoo he was, the personality he had behind his looks. 

“It all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!” Wonwoo couldn’t contain his excitement about the newest episode, but Haein didn’t seem interested in hearing her boyfriend geek out. 

“I'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,” Haein sighed into the phone, and if Wonwoo could guess, she was probably picking at her cuticles out of boredom. “I just didn’t get anything that was happening.” 

“Wait, really?” He was a little offended, how could she not be obsessing over the beautiful intricacies of his favourite anime? Wonwoo didn’t understand. 

He didn’t understand because when he introduced you to the show, you texted him the next day saying you were caught up to where he had left off. It amazed Wonwoo how fast you were at binge-watching shows, especially because he had told you about it on a weekday. 

You came into school the morning after with dark circles under your eyes, but even with that tired look on your face, you ran up to him with so much eagerness while thanking him for urging you to watch his favourite show. You two were obsessed and never missed out on watching the weekly episodes together.  It had become you and Wonwoo’s thing, and even though he wanted Haein to join in on the fun, he found himself more entertained by your theories than by talking on the phone with his girlfriend. 

It dawned on him that he wished that Haein acted a little more like you. And it made him feel guilty. He knew he should’ve loved Haein no matter her interests, but he wanted someone who could understand his nerdy side. And that was only something that you were able to do. 

“Honestly, I’m really tired, I’m gonna go to bed now okay?” Haein’s voice brought Wonwoo out of his thoughts. 

“Oh okay. Night.” He said before ending the call so quickly that Haein’s ‘I love you’ was cut off mid-sentence. 

Haein probably had thought he had forgotten, but Wonwoo just didn’t want to say those words if he didn’t mean it. He had grown annoyed, and a little bored of practically talking to a wall all night.  

Comparable to the light switching off in his bedroom, he decided to do the same thing with Haein. He pushed his guilt aside and decided it was probably best to leave Haein and Changwon in the past. The memories of his last week of summer with her would become something he would look back on in the future and smile. But he didn’t want to pretend any longer, it would’ve just hurt her more if he stayed, he couldn’t help that he fell out of love with her. The least he could do was not lead her on. 

Wonwoo’s relationship with Haein was merely a catalyst and a peek into what the rest of his relationships were going to look like in adulthood. He was never able to comprehend why he couldn’t keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasn’t sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer. 

three, present time.

The answer was you. But of course, Wonwoo didn’t know that. 

“Are you gonna keep checking your phone every five minutes or are you gonna do your homework?” Mingyu lectures him. 

The two were studying in the library before their stats midterm, but Wonwoo’s mind couldn’t help but wonder. He hasn’t been acting like himself since the night of Seokmin’s party. 

“Oh, right.” Wonwoo clears his throat, putting his phone face down on the table. 

Wonwoo drags his palms against his face, trying to not let sleep overtake him. It is not his fault that every time he tries to close his eyes, your face comes into his mind. The memory of you smiling with Seokmin made his insides twist. He hasn’t seen you smile that hard in a while, and he almost misses how your eyes crinkle whenever you do so. You were practically haunting him and he had no idea how to make it stop. 

“Not to be rude, but you’ve been looking like shit lately. What’s wrong?” Mingyu questions him with furrowed eyebrows. 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his friend, he didn’t have to be insulted to know how crappy he looked, but Mingyu seemed to only be telling the truth. Wonwoo did look and feel like shit. With the amount of near run-ins he’s had with you and Seokmin on campus, he’s begun to sense that it’s some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that it’s completely unwarranted. 

Forcing a hand through his dark locks, Wonwoo contemplates whether or not he should just go up to you in person and demand answers. It’s uncommon for the two of you to fight, or ignore each other for that matter. But he can’t help but presume that if he were to confront you about your silence, there would be no rightful explanation. Or at least not the explanation that he wants from you. 

Every time he even fathoms the thought of barging into your apartment and asking what the hell is wrong, there’s a lingering nervousness that he wishes would dissipate, leading him to lay awake with his thoughts for hours on end. 

“Thanks for that, asshole, I just haven’t been getting much sleep,” Wonwoo huffs. 

“Okay, obviously. You practically look like a zombie with the way you’ve been moping around. What has been keeping you up?” Mingyu presses. 

It’s not every day that Wonwoo indulges in his problems with Mingyu, that’s what you were for. However, he can’t talk about his problems about you, to you, so he’ll have to settle for the next best thing.  

“Y/N has been ignoring me since the night we all hung out at Seokmin’s,” Wonwoo confesses, and it feels nice. 

For the past two weeks, he’s been keeping his frustrations to himself, and now that he can freely speak about it lifts the weight off his chest. 

Mingyu snorts, obviously finding his friend’s situation humorous. Wonwoo sneers at Mingyu’s reaction, clearly not finding anything about you ignoring him funny. 

“Serves you right, you’re a dick to her, man.” Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare. 

“What?” Wonwoo sputters, since when was he a dick to you? His best friend? 

“How blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you can’t see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?” Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression. 

“I am not a dick to her. She would definitely tell me if I’ve ever said something to hurt her feelings,” Wonwoo defends himself. 

Attempting to rack his brain of all your moments together, he can’t seem to pick out a memory where he has been especially rude to you. Of course, you two teased each other from time to time, but he wasn’t a complete asshole. He knew when to not take a joke too far or purposely try to upset you. 

“You’re a dumbass.” Mingyu lets out a frustrated sigh which only aggravates Wonwoo even more. 

“Could you stop with the insults for one second and just tell me what’s going on?” 

Shutting his laptop, Mingyu’s posture becomes serious, a deviation from his usual carefree and smiley self. He cares about you just as much as the next person, so if he had to reality-check his friend, then so be it. 

“She cares about you a lot. And you treat her like shit. It’s not about what you’ve said to her, it’s your actions. Ever since we were in high school all you’ve done is use her to solve your problems. I can’t even blame her for wanting to cut you off. I don’t know what happened at Seokmin’s place for her to realize that, but you don’t deserve her,” Mingyu confesses. 

Soaking up each word that left Mingyu’s mouth, Wonwoo sat in a pool of perplexity. There are so many questions flying through his mind, yet he can’t seem to utter a single word. Is that really how everyone perceives his friendship with you? 

Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes. He wants nothing more than to hear all of this coming from you, not Mingyu. The frustration of wanting to talk to you about this is taking a toll on him, he doesn’t want to believe that Mingyu is telling the truth. 

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Mingyu gets to know these things about you while Wonwoo is just left in the dark. Did he make you feel like you couldn’t tell him anything? 

Ever since Wonwoo met you, it was evident that he can be quite merciless when it comes to his relationships, but that’s romantic, not platonic. Wonwoo was convinced that he treated you equally because that’s how it's supposed to be. 

Hearing Mingyu talk about his friendship with you in that way caused Wonwoo’s whole world to crash down. And the only thing he can do in moments like these is seek out your comfort, except he can’t anymore. Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but he’s pushed you so far to the brink that you’d rather ignore him than attempt to hash out what’s been troubling you.

“I-I didn’t know that's how you guys saw our friendship,” Wonwoo falters, clearly taken aback, and still attempting to fully comprehend what’s been said to him. 

“It’s not that we see your friendship with her that way, it is that way. If I was her, I would’ve cut you off a long time ago.” 

“Well, thanks, Gyu. I feel like this could’ve been said before she started ignoring me,” Wonwoo huffs, trying to come up with the words to explain his side.

“It was kinda obvious, man,” Mingyu shrugs. 

“Was it, though? If I had known, I would’ve at least tried to be better,” Wonwoo attests, tired of feeling like the bad guy. 

“How about you just talk to her about it instead of sulking,” Mingyu suggests. 

Desperation hijacked his rational thinking, making Mingyu’s advice sound plausible. Talking to you seemed out of the equation since you started ignoring him; he feared you wouldn’t even answer if he tried to call or show up at your door. But he can’t go on like this, especially now that he knows there is more to your friendship than he had initially thought. 

four. 

For the first time in Wonwoo’s life, he’s unsure about what decision to make. Although he wants nothing more than to knock on your door, his feet stop him from even entering your building. So instead of mucking up the courage to talk to you face to face, he waits inside his car. Without a solid plan, he continues to sit there, biding his time. 

Never has he acted so pathetic in his life, not even for the sake of his relationships. He knows that nothing will come from sitting there, just watching, but before he can even comprehend what he is doing and where he is going, he is already across the street from your place. 

Gripping on the leather of his steering wheel, he just couldn’t help himself. He can’t help but watch your silhouette from your window. The curtains are drawn, but there are glimpses of you walking around. He’s such a fucking loser. What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building? 

After all that Mingyu has enlightened him on, Wonwoo’s attitude has become less angry and more apologetic. There was a line he pondered crossing, and it practically mocked him. Stepping over that line would mean getting answers from you, demanding to be brought into the light that you had snuffed out from under him. But his uncertainty of the outcome outweighed his decision to do so.

That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment. There you were in all your glory, the tiny sleep set clinging onto your body as the wind forced its way into the door of your building. Then there was Seokmin, grinning like a fucking idiot as he waved goodbye. 

“Shit!” Wonwoo grunts as he ducks down, not wanting to blow his cover. His car was visible from where the two of you stood, hoping that you weren’t able to recognize it in the dead of night.  

Boring holes into the back of Seokmin’s head, Wonwoo's guilt diminished, floating away with the cold night breeze. You were fine, and he should’ve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin. 

The shape of your figure had faded into the confines of your building. Yet Wonwoo can still make out your body through the glass window of your door. He can’t help but gawk at your skimpy attire, your ass practically on display for the whole world to see. The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokmin’s visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind. 

He’s never been more annoyed at Seokmin in his entire life, not until today. 

Wonwoo allowed himself to ignore the signs, but only for a moment. But this, this he can’t ignore. Not after what he witnessed. He allowed himself to stay ignorant when it came to your silence because he had been so naive to think that it was your decision. Now that he knows Seokmin had somehow weaselled his way closer to you, Wonwoo had to make sure this plan of his didn’t go on any longer. 

…

There is a heat inside Wonwoo that, for some reason, he cannot extinguish. The curve and outlines of your body burn in the back of his retinas. No matter how many times he’s tried to put himself to sleep, the image of you is clear as day in his mind.  Sparks crawl their way up his spine, and he desperately wishes that it would just go away. 

There’s a point where Wonwoo gave up on trying to sleep altogether. Thoughts of you, your body, and the oh-so-painful reminder that you’re still ignoring him. How can he sleep with everything going on? What made things worse, was the fact that the one person he wanted to call most likely wouldn’t pick up.

Wonwoo wasn’t the type of person to let his emotions get the better of him, but this abrupt rift that has been torn between you two has him acting out in ways he’s never acted before. 

The urge to grab his phone, to text you, to give it one more try, grows perpetually every second he lies awake. 

One more time. One more attempt. What does he have to lose? 

Wonwoo stands up, pacing around nonsensically, trying to think of what to say. For all he knows, you may not even answer, but there is the urge to hear your voice one more time and see your name pop up on his screen. Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him. 

[12:52 a.m.]  [wons <3: darling. can we talk? please?]  [not delivered] 

The silence within the four walls of Wonwoo’s bedroom is harrowing. Out of all the outcomes he had considered before he texted you, the outcome of you blocking him was not even on the list. 

Before jumping to some sort of conclusion, Wonwoo’s finger hovers over the call button with skepticism. If you don’t pick up, then that’s it. That would be the definitive answer to all his qualms. 

“The number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,” an automated voice affirmed his suspicions. 

The notification is gut-wrenching, but he can’t just sit here and pretend like it’s okay for you to do this. To decide without any of his input. What kind of friend were you to just drop him like he was nothing but an old toy? How unfair did you have to be to not even try to talk it out before you completely cut him off? 

five. 

Pacing outside the door of your apartment, Wonwoo hasn’t been this nervous in years. He has always been so sure of himself, but it’s almost two in the morning and he’s still continuing to weigh his options. 

It’s either you’ll let him in, and talk for the first time in almost two weeks, or you’ll kick him out before he can step a foot past the door. Desperately, he desires that it be the first option. Losing you over this would break him, and not in the way you would expect. 

He’s already lost his mind. This shouldn’t be the way you two break it off. It won’t be the way you two break it off. Not if Wonwoo has a say in the situation. 

Sweaty palms and white knuckles rasp against the dark oak that barricades himself from you. There’s nothing that Wonwoo wants more than to see your face glowing in front of him. And before he can even get a word out to you, the door whips open. The person on the other side is someone Wonwoo is starting to get really sick of seeing. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison. 

Scoffing, Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his so-called friend, “I think I should be asking you that. You clearly don’t live here.” 

“Minnie? Is someone at the door?” your voice is as sweet as a glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day. 

Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth. 

Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard. 

“Yeah! Your neighbour just needed to borrow something,” Seokmin goads through a sickly sweet smile, eyes never leaving Wonwoo’s. Without as much as a word of mockery, Seokmin’s expression had said more than his words ever could have. 

Despite his soft demeanour, Wonwoo knew there was something vile hiding under Seokmin’s thick skin. 

A rebuttal to his deception is on the tip of Wonwoo’s tongue, but your melodic voice echoes throughout your home once more. The refute dies within his throat, and he hopes you will come out and see what your “neighbour” is looking for. 

“Okay!” is the only response you give out. The reverberation of the water hitting the shower tiles causes Wonwoo’s stomach to practically lurch out his abdomen. 

“Whatever you’re doing, she’s not gonna fall for it,” Wonwoo jeered, staring at Seokmin with looks that should kill, if he could. 

Seokmin chuckles bitterly, “She already has.” 

There was no need for Wonwoo to put two and two together; he already knew what Seokmin was alluding to. It left a dreadful taste in his mouth. 

Puffing out his chest, Wonwoo takes a step closer towards the man he once considered a close friend. Sizing him up, he knew that Seokmin was the reason for the wedge in your friendship. And Wonwoo had no problem treating him as such. 

“You’re fucking sick, you know that?” Wonwoo practically spits in his face. 

“I could say the same thing for you,” Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, “I didn’t have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.” 

“I’m not just going to let you get away with something like this. She’s my best friend.” 

“I think the correct tense is was. She was your best friend,” Seokmin taunted. 

He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didn’t expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture. 

Before a breath could even escape his lips, Seokmin cuts him off, “I think it’s time for you to leave. She doesn’t want to see you.”

The last few words that he heard come out of Seokmin’s mouth nearly fell on deaf ears. It was practically a whisper, laced with enough malice to almost kill the fighting spirit inside him. Almost. 

“By the way, don’t text her anymore. I’ve made sure she won’t get any more notifications from you.” 

The realization had struck Wonwoo hard. He knew you well enough that you wouldn’t just block him so carelessly, without a word no less. Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly. 

…

Lying in wait, Wonwoo observes the door of your building once more. The distinct difference this time was that Wonwoo had no guilt left in him to care. Whether you see him or his car across the street didn’t matter to him anymore. The only thing Wonwoo wanted to make sure of was whether or not Seokmin would be leaving your place. 

After what had felt like hours, he watched the same scene from last night unfold in front of him once more. The abhorrent hug goodbye that is exchanged between you and Seokmin is nothing but a cue for Wonwoo to make his move.

With as much grace as a bull in a china shop, he slams the car door shut, not even bothering to lock it before he stalks his way to your apartment. The anticipation caused the hairs on his neck to stand straight up. As he presses the button to your floor, he can only deliberate whether any of Seokmin’s words hold any truth behind them.

 Certainly not, right? Not after all the years you spent together. His friendship with you couldn’t end on this vague note. You were always the sentimental type, holding onto trinkets, memories, and even people for far too long. It should be the same with Wonwoo; he believed it would be the same. 

If there is a chance, you should allow him to talk and voice his opinion. No, Wonwoo will voice his opinion; there has never been a time when you haven’t let him speak. 

As the elevator ascends to your floor, anxiety begins to weigh down his shoulders. The feeling is atypical and Wonwoo hates how his throat constricts. He hates how his clothes feel too tight and stuffy despite his casual attire. Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on? 

Footsteps echo within the hallway, and with each step he takes, the illusion steadily becomes more vivid. Your front door almost looks like it’ll take a mile before Wonwoo can reach it, rather than a few feet away. 

After what felt like years, Wonwoo stands before the entrance of your home once more. The foreboding tension won’t vanish and it’s starting to make him itch. Without another thought, Wonwoo forces himself to knock on the door knowing it’ll be you who answers this time, not Seokmin. 

“Minnie? Did you leave something agai—,” Abrupt silence engulfs your words, leaving nothing but an echo to resonate within the expanse of your long hallway.

“Wonwoo…” your voice falters, like you genuinely didn’t expect to see him, let alone have him standing outside your door. 

“Did you fuck him?” Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions. 

His blunt words caused a frown to grace your soft pink lips, and Wonwoo almost felt bad for being so frank. But he doesn’t have time to beg for your forgiveness, the anger surmounting to nothing but harsh words and a push past you and into your home. 

“Did you fuck him? Yes or no?”  Wonwoo continues to press you for answers, agitated that you have the audacity to stand there dumbfounded. As if you don’t know who he's talking about. “C’mon, you know who I’m talking about,” he can almost laugh at the situation in front of him. 

How is it that all the rage he built up for Seokmin is being taken out on you? Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps it’s undeserving to do so, but Wonwoo’s frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying. 

“The past two weeks you’ve been ignoring me, spending your time with him, do you know where his true intentions lie?” Wonwoo continues to rant with unpreparedness. 

He didn’t plan what he was going to say because there was a moment of doubt, he had expected you to open the door just to slam it right back in his face. The look you gave him almost brought him to his knees. Your doe-eyed expression could’ve broken down every wall he’s built if only he hadn’t let his anger proceed him. 

Wonwoo should’ve cried, to plead for you to take him back. To go back to the way things were. He knew he fucked up the moment he uttered a single word. The hurt flashed across your face as though Wonwoo turned your world upside down. 

“Seokmin doesn’t care about you, and I’ll tell you that now because you need to hear it. He just wants to fuck you! And you just gave that to him?” He can’t stop talking. 

“Stop. Just stop fucking talking Wonwoo. Do you hear yourself right now?” You cut off his rant. “Out of all people, who gave you the right to tell me who I can and cannot fuck? Especially knowing the type of person that you are. It doesn’t matter if Seokmin and I had sex. What matters is the fact that you think you can barge in here at two-thirty in the morning interrogating me over a situation that doesn’t involve you.” 

“No. I’m just trying to help you. Seokmin isn’t the person that you think he is,” Wonwoo seethes, annoyed at how you’re twisting his words. 

The bile in his throat rose further, as you stood before him like he had just kicked your dog. Wonwoo’s extremely aware of the hole he had dug for himself, but he couldn’t stop. His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense. 

“That is exactly what we’re not going to do right now. Seokmin has been a better friend to me than you have been in all the years we’ve known each other. I have been by your side for years, bending over backwards. I was at your beck and call and I’m tired. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and warn myself about you. I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didn’t care enough to notice. 

“I gave up so much for you, Wonwoo. I lost myself trying to please you. But I give up. I was drowning in my love for you. It consumed every part of me to the point I couldn’t even come up for air. And I’m just sick of it. I know there’s a part of you that cares about me too, but it’ll never be equal. I’ll always love you more than you love me, and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” 

“What hurts me the most, is that you thought it would be okay to accuse me of things I didn’t even do. I did not sleep with Seokmin, but why is that what you care about?  He respects me and just wants to be there for me. And that’s a lot more than I could ever say about you.” 

Your voice was terrifyingly calm, with neither a lilt nor a hiccup during your speech. The heft of your declaration crashed back down onto Wonwoo, leaving him at a loss for words. 

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing to come out of his mouth after a long pause. 

“Please. It’s late, you should go home,” you sigh, but Wonwoo couldn’t move an inch. He refused. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats himself, looking into your eyes, searching for the look of endearment you had always given him. 

“Wonwoo…” there it is. Your voice had broken for the first time since Wonwoo stepped foot in the place. 

“Please. I’m so fucking sorry. For getting angry, for doubting you, for not realizing how badly you were hurting,” Wonwoo resorted to pleading. 

A look of desperation mixed with agony was the only thing you could exchange for his apologies.

The stare of grief you had given him caused a shooting pain to swell throughout his limbs. The one that begins at his fingertips, creeping up to tug at the strings that held his heart together. He wanted this nightmare to end, and he was sure you did too. 

“It’s time for you to go. I’m tired, Wonwoo.”  A single tear slips and trickles down your cheek. 

He regrets not wiping it away for you at that moment. It was the first time he had been so unsure of his actions. So, instead, he walked out of your apartment, leaving nothing but the lingering scent of his cologne and a piece of his heart. 

Wonwoo's world was crumbling underneath him, and there was only one person he refused to let go of. He should’ve known.

He should’ve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.

end of act one.

⊹ a/n: if you liked this story pls dont be afraid to let me know thru a reblog, comment or ask! also a big ty to my beshies forever @vapidlynn and @bunnyjjongie who i've texted multiple times in the wee hours of the morning for reassurance abt this thing hehe.

[josephtrohman]

sorry if this is silly to ask but where did the joe bisexual talk come from?

not trying to start speculation or some shit i am just confused 😭 ik pete is the one sort of semi unconfirmed bi one but now i recently notice joe also being called bi…is it a bit? or part of a bit but also at the same time are people realizing joe has said stuff that may indicate hes queer or smth… SORRY this is stupid to ask i am just dumb

NOT SILLY TO ASK AT ALL lol it’s largely like. lighthearted based on fruity things he has said and done and i’ve compiled some things that people point out under the cut (this isn’t like meant to be real trutherism for joe being bisexual obviously it’s up to whatever the fuck he says and also not that it actually matters anyways since he’s been with one person for the last 20 years lol)

this post in particular is one i think about a lot because it’s a neat little compilation of a lot of his fruity moments lol. NEVER BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS I FEAR

having sex with multiple wo(men)

dude crushes…

looking for another moustache to kiss his moustache…in the same interview that he says being gay is fantastic? inch resting…

kissing men…(first pic iykyk)

also talking VERY enthusiastically about kissing patrick in particular lol

lewd gestures with a bottle (my gifs from here wink wonk self promo)

and then also people have dreamt about joe coming out as bi so yknow. maybe prophetic dreams, i made this in reply to one of them for funsies

lastly, since i can’t put too many clips here, my fobtwt friend richie has a great thread on joe fruity moments here.

this isn’t absolutely everything but it’s all the examples that come to mind lol

like i said this is not meant to be trutherism bc obviously it’s up to joe to determine what he is lol but i think much of his conduct points to being a kinsey 1.5 or 2 at least 😭 i always think about that post someone made (i dont rmr who rn…) that said that fob should bring back m&gs so they can hand out pamphlets on bisexuality to the guys. anyways no one be mad at me for this it’s all kind of lh and jokes and innocent etc 😇

[thedvilsinthedetails]

Rosekiller band au microfic!!!

hey guys, I wrote the first microfic in the lil series I’m doing, you can find the original idea for it here

ik I’d said I’d wait but I’m impatient hahaha

(some of the ppl that asked to be tagged if i ever wrote it: @always-reading @blu3stars @chaoticgaywitch @1284646imjusthere @depressedtheatrekiddo @idk-what-to-put-here-123)

anyway just wrote this pretty quickly so it might have some mistakes n stuff sorry abt that I don’t do grammar or punctuation anyway here you go, enjoy:

(EDIT: link to part 2)

••• Pink lipstick stains, cigarette butts

I lie in bed, I hate my guts

A day in the dark 

A muddled afternoon, yeah

Barty pressed his cheek close to Evan as they sang into the same microphone. He could feel the buzz of the music through the vibration of the stage below him. 

Oh baby darling how I long 

To become your suicide blonde

He ran a hand through Evan’s platinum curls as he sung the line. Evan leaned into it, eyes meeting Barty’s, grinning as he sung. 

To lie beside my Romeo

Oh what a wicked way to go

Evan’s fingers moved deftly on the guitar, he lifted a hand, twirled the pick in his hand before resuming immediately, he didn’t take his eyes off Barty the entire song. 

•••

“Ah fucking hell look at the comments Bee.”

Evan was sat at the base of the sofa, scrolling through the comments on a video of their performance last night. He held the phone up to Barty on the sofa, who squinted before taking it and reading it out to the room.

“Skittlefiend57 says ‘omg Blarty and Evan! I’m so gone 4 them u guys’”

“Blarty?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“We’ve been getting my name wrong all these years guys. Wow that’s a crazy thing to discover at 23.”

“Bad spelling aside, there’s way more. And it’s not all good stuff.”

Evan said and Barty looked back down at the comments. 

“Barty and Evan are queerbaiting, they act so gay but they’re not dating. It’s all clearly faked to get attention. Fucking pathetic. Why thank you peenisonapizza. Glad to see you know us personally and can therefore speak on our behalf.”

“Don’t know why they’re obsessed with accusing a band with two trans guys of queer baiting.”

Evan pinched his furrowed brow and shook his head in disbelief.

“They don’t even care about the fucking music, just us and whether we’re dating or not.”

Barty laid down on the sofa, dropping one arm around Evan and resting his chin on Evan’s shoulder.

“Hey cheer up Rosie. They care about the music. There’s a few assholes but that’s a given. If they weren’t talking about us acting gay they’d be talking about whether my tattoos are real or fake.”

“Or some conspiracy theory that Reggie’s not actually lactose intolerant.” 

Pandora chipped in.

“I’m not lactose intolerant!”

Regulus replied indignantly.

“Is that you talking or your obsession with chocolate?”

Dorcas rolled her eyes as she spoke. Regulus avoided her gaze as he mumbled out a half hearted response.

“Remus got me hooked on Tony’s chocolonely.”

While the rest of the group squabbled Evan leaned his head back against Barty’s shoulder, he pulled out his phone.

***

Evan.Rosier✔️

Hey everyone, I’ve noticed there’s a lot of speculation about me and @Barty.Grouch.JR and I wanted to say that it’s none of your business, you can think what you like but please don’t ask us or spam comment sections with theories. As always thank u so much for listening to our music, the skittles luv u x

***

Evan breathed in and passed the phone to Barty.

“You think this is good?”

Barty read it over and nodded.

“You’ve been really nice about it too.”

Evan huffed out a laugh.

“I was normal about, not my fault you would have said something like-“

“Roses are red, violets are blue, you are a cunt and I hate you @peenisonapizza.”

Barty took a small bow, flourishing his hand dramatically. Evan turned around and flicked him in the leg, which only succeeded in making him laugh. 

 “Ok I’ve posted it.”

Evan clicked post and watched as the ‘likes’ number quickly began to climb.

“Now I’m just not gonna read the comments on that post.”

Evan huffed out a laugh and Barty patted his shoulder.

“Good on you Rosie. Now who wants to watch a movie?”

Evan clambered onto the sofa next to Barty who leaned against him immediately, head resting on his shoulder.

“Rosie.”

Barty whispered.

“Yeah Bee?”

“Give me your phone. Look we both know it will bother you all evening not reading those comments if you have your phone on you. Just- out of sight out of mind, I’ll give it back to you once the movie is over but you deserve to have an evening off.”

Barty’s eyes were wide, expression genuine as he spoke. Evan hesitated then reached in his pocket for his phone.

“Don’t spam it with photos alright?”

A smirk spread on Barty’s face quickly, eyes sparkling.

“I make no promises Ev.”

Evan rolled his eyes but handed the phone over. 

The movie was something Pandora had picked, something from the late 80s, a strange mix of fantasy, reality and meta theatre that Evan actually didn’t hate.

Still he drifted to sleep at some point watching it, the stress of the day had clearly gotten to him and something about the way the top of Barty’s head made for a great pillow probably didn’t help.

Either way he woke up to the feeling of Barty shaking him.

“Come on sleeping beauty, let’s get you to a real bed. Here’s your phone back.”

Evan rubbed his eyes and got up, stumbling to his room as thanked Barty in a half asleep murmur.

He got to his room and turned on his phone, wincing at the glaring brightness, turning it down quickly. He opened his photos app, just as he’d suspected his camera roll was filled with new photos.

He began to scroll through them. There was one of his friends, all waving at the camera. A zoomed in shot of Inigo Montoya‘s face on the TV screen from a funny angle. Himself, looking dumb, sleeping with his mouth slightly open. He scrolled to the next picture and stopped. Barty with that cheeky grin of his, curled up against Evan, flipping off the camera. Eyes twinkling in that way that always made Evan feel a little warmer, a little brighter. He fell asleep again dreaming of a body pressed against his in a hug, the hum of a movie no longer playing, soft hair tickling his face and mischief painted in big brown eyes. 

For info about the position they’re sat in (it’s clear in my mind but I’m not sure how clear it is in the description), the song that they are playing and the movie they watch, look below the read more:

Position they are in before Evan gets on the sofa, red is Evan, green is Barty - yes Barty is uncomfortable, yes he would sit like that anyway bc Barty will do fucking contortion to be able to hug Evan argue with a wall

Don’t question the drawing skills, I can’t draw and did it in a moving vehicle

the song is EVOL by MARINA

the movie is the princess bride suggested by the lovely @lulublack90 who u shld defo check out bc she’s rlly amazing at writing

(Oh also Evan and Reggie are both trans in this)

[happypeaceperson]

Part of your world: Chapter 3

- Prince Eric x Male reader

Chapter 2: Here

Chapter 4: Here

Ik I already posted chapter 2 today but I'm way too excited to write the reader and Eric actually interacting so I wrote chapter 3 to subdue that excitement a little bit and so yall don't have to wait too long for what you are actually reading these for... I hope yall enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

(Also me posting this rn means I can write and post the next part for tomorrow so it's a win for all of us!!)

Sebastian stood on the railing of the balcony, looking at you sleep with disappointment in his eyes. He didn't know what he was going to do to help you but he knew he had to try. His train of thought was cut short when Scuttle flies right past Sebastian and lands on a table in your room. She begins eating your leftover food. "What are you doing here?" Sebastian asks. 

"Oh there you are." Scuttle replies as she finishes the leftovers. "I've been looking everywhere for you. I was wondering how Y/n got his legs?" 

"Oh, long story short, he made a deal with a witch and now he must kiss the prince if he wants to keep his freedom." Sebastian tried his best to keep the explanation short, not wanting to ramble on the topic for too long. 

"Well, have you found the prince?" She asks, turning his head slightly.

"Yes, but the witch had put a curse on him, so now even a mention of the kiss makes the thought jump straight out of his head." Sebastian explains. "So now it's up to us to help him" 

Scuttle flies over to sit on the ledge of the balcony with Sebastian. "So where's Y/n now?" She questions. 

"What do ya mean, he's right here-" Sebastian points beside him before pausing when he notices you're no longer there. 

You walk down the stairs towards an empty hallway, glancing around to make sure nobody is there. You walked around carefully trying not to make any noises. You notice a door was slightly ajar so you decided to take a peek inside. You see nothing of interest so you walk away from the room. You freeze as soon as you hear footsteps coming from the end of the hall. You run behind a wall opposite you, hiding from whoever walked down the hallway. You sign a breath of relief, thankful you weren't caught. 

You leaned back a bit, almost falling as you leaned against an open door. You gasp slightly before regaining your balance. You decide to enter the room, interested in what is inside. Upon entry you find the room covered in many artefacts and devices. You see a map on the wall, and a telescope facing towards the window and up at the sky. You look up above you, seeing a circular window in the middle of the ceiling and a majestic chandelier hanging from the middle of it. The room was painted in a dark blue tone, a colour you had seen a lot under the water. 

You walk over to the desk, running your hand over a globe. You watched as it spun. You spun it a few times, a smile growing across your face. You touch something that fascinates you. It looked like some instrument laying on the desk. You run your hand over the strings of the device causing it to make a sound. You gasp, pulling away quickly in fear of someone hearing it. You decide to walk over to the telescope, looking into the bottom of it. It looked familiar because Ariel had one of these in her collection. You walk over to a shelf, noticing a figurine that lay on the top part. It was a merman. You grabbed it, bringing it down towards you. It felt small in your hands. You ran your finger over the smooth crystal that it was made from. 

You jump in shock at the sound of Sebastian's voice breaking your train of thought. "What are you doing in here, child?" He whispers as he enters the room. "You can't just go wandering around wherever ya please." 

You look away from him instead, noticing the sound of footsteps heading towards the room. "Hide," Sebastian says as he scurries away behind the door. You quickly duck behind the shelf you were near. 

"Who's in here?" You hear a man say, watching as he walks towards the window. He opens the curtain, letting the sunlight in. He turns away from the window, looking around the room trying to see who was making the noise. His eyes moved around before noticing someone hiding behind one of his shelves. He recognises you. "Oh, it's you" He says, his tone becoming more friendly compared to the defensive tone he had upon entering. He starts to walk over to you. 

You slowly walk out from your hiding spot. "Nobody usually comes in here" You go to put the merman figure back where you found it. "My little merman." He says. You turn around with a slightly shocked expression. He seems to pick up on that as he lowers his tone more. "It's alright, you can look at it" You finish putting it back before turning to face him again. "I found him on the coast of contohnya." He pauses. "Isn't he beautiful?" He asks. 

Your eyes shift. "Oh that's right." He remembers that you couldn't speak, still unsure why but not wanting to question you about it. "Well it doesn't really matter." He laughs slightly. "Too many people around here use too many words but have nothing to say." He walks over to the shelf you were beside, reaching up to grab the merman figure. "You know I never believed the lore of the merpeople leading sailors to their deaths." You look at him, confused on what he means. 

"Here" He hands the figure to you. "Take him" He smiles at you. You shake your head,not sure if you should take it from him. He smiles even more at you. "No really, I want you to have him." You look up at him, a small smile forming as you gently grab the figure from his hands. "I'm already running out of space as it is." He says, giving a reason as to why he is willing to give it away. He kicks at a metal ball on the ground, reaching down to pick it up. "Nearly all of these things come from my voyages." He explains as he throws the ball up before catching it. "I know it must seem silly collecting all this stuff." You shake your head slightly at him. You understood him. You and Ariel would always collect things from the shipwrecks. 

"But look at this fossilised sea stone" He continues to talk. "Can you believe that such amazing things exist down there?" He grabs the stone, turning to show it to you. You recognise the stone. You walk over to him grabbing the stone from his hands. You lift it up, preparing to throw it on the ground. "No wait-" He shouts out. You throw the stone on the ground. As Erix watches the pieces scatter over his floor. You bend down and grab an amber stone that came from the rock. You hand it to him. 

Eric has a look of confusion on his face as he takes it from your hands. He inspects the stone for a moment. "How did you know that was in there?" He asks you, fascinated by your discovery. You look ip at him with a smirk on your face. You hear him muttering to himself as you begin to stand again. You walk back towards the desk, noticing a sea shell laying on it. You look into the shell noticing Sebastian hiding inside it. 

"Hey there" Sebastian whispers as you pull him out and throw him towards the side of the desk. You look to see if Eric noticed,luckily he was still cleaning up the debris left from the stone. 

Eric looks up and notices your interest in the shell as he begins to describe it to you. "oh that… I picked that up from the beach here on the island. There's loads of them at this time of the year-" His sentence is cut short to the sound of a horn. He turns to see you blowing into it. He laughs to himself slightly. "I had no Idea you could do that." You nod, holding the shell infront of you as a sign for him to try it. "Oh me?" He says, a bit taken back from your request. "Oh noo-" He says as you hand the shell to him. "Oh really alright." You help him position his hand correctly in the shell. 

"How do I?" He asks as he mimics a blowing action. You pucker your lips and blow, showing him how its correctly done. He copies what you were doing only stopping when you give a nod of approval. He then puts the shell up to his lips and blows, failing to make any noise with it. He laughs as he pulls it away. You laugh at him too, noticing his face go completely red. "Yeah well, I'll work on that" He jokes as he places it back on the desk. 

For the entire day he just showed you around his collection. You knew most of the stuff that he had but didn't stop him from talking about the objects. It was night when he decided to show you the map, the one thing you knew nothing about in the room. "This region here is known as the Pacific empire." He points out on the map.  "And that's Colombia. Oh the area up here is called mosquito coast." He explains. You point to a part of the map, wondering what it was. "Those waters are all uncharted." You nod as he turns to face you. "Wouldn't it be amazing to discover a place no one has ever seen before?" 

You look at him for a moment before pointing to another part of the map. This excites Eric. "Ah, so this was one of my fav voyages, up at the Caribbean" He says. You reach forward, grabbing another map and unfolding it on the desk. You were eager to learn about all these new places. "Alright another" Eric laughs slightly, he's been enjoying this time together. 

Eric examines the map for a moment. "Ah ok, so this is our island."He points to a building."We're in that very castle right now." He points to somewhere on the map. "Over here is our main village." He points somewhere else. "Our port there was once the busiest in the region." He lets out a sigh. "I'm hoping it will be again one day." There's a small silence as you look up at him. He shakes his head, pointing to another part of the map. "And here's a beautiful lagoon with a little waterfall." He runs his finger down the same part of the map "And then all of that if rainforest"

He looks at you studying the map. "You know, I could show you around if you'd like." This catches your interest. Your head shoots up from the map, and your eyes meet his. He notices a sense of excitement in your eyes. You nod. "Alright. We'll go tomorrow."

Your conversation was cut short as someone entered the room. "But sir" The man says. 

"Oh Grimsby, good." Eric stands up from his chair. "We'll need a horse and carriage ready for us in the morning." Eric looks down at you as you begin to stand up as well. 

Grimsby stutters a little before responding. "May I have a quiet word sir?" He asks Eric. 

Eric glances down at you as you look up at him. He gives a comforting smile before looking back to Grimsby. "Of course." Eric starts to walk over to Grimsby, leaving you to stand by the desk alone. 

You look down at the desk as Sebastian begins to walk onto it, crawling onto the maps. "He's a special one isn't he? And the moonlight ahh-" You slam the map he stood on shut, to get him to stop talking. You look over at the two men talking, wondering what they are talking about.

You hear Grimsby speak up as he glances over at you. "I suppose we could spare one carriage." He says, looking back at Eric with a smile. 

"Perfect" Eric responds. Grimsby leaves the room as Eric walks back over to you. "Well, we better get a good night's rest if we wanna go out tomorrow" He smiles at you as he leads you out of the room. You start heading towards the stairs to go back up to your room, not knowing Eric was watching you do so, a smile plastered on his face. 

[aleksanderscult]

https://www.tumblr.com/greensaplinggrace/734627296606044160/i-am-being-annoying-ik-but-all-your-comments-are your views on this? i am kinda disagreeing but am unable to put it in words. especially the he would have loved zoya part.

Oh boy.

I have lots of things to say.

First of all, thank you for the ask. And thank you for asking my opinion on this.

The post we're referencing (for those who don't know) is this. And under no circumstances is this my hate reply or anything. I'll only state my opinion.

Anon, I want your opinion about this post of mine once you read it, please. ❤️

(Cut below because this is the LONGEST post I've made so far)

Let's take it one at a time.

"Alina is nothing at all what he wanted a Sun Summoner to be".

I have already examined about what Aleksander was expecting from a Sun Summoner here and I recommend you to read it 'cause most of my thoughts about this are there.

In a few words, I believe Aleksander wanted a person gullible, easy to manipulate, easy to follow him. And to have the same views as him (about the world, politics, the Grisha persecution and what needs to be done etc.). Also someone cut off from other people since this way it'll be easier to take him/her under his wing and manipulate him/her as he wishes.

And I say him/her because I don't think Aleksander was sure if the Sun Summoner would be a male or female. And he DEFINITELY didn't want to fall in love with that person nor did he intended it. I think he only wanted to use that person. Not rule with him/her. The whole "ruling with the Sun Summoner" thing only came to his mind after 1) he fell in love with Alina 2) and when he saw the power she had, the bond between them and their dynamic.

Certainly he must have suspected that the Sun Summoner would be immortal like him. But I believe he thought "he/she will become my right hand, my lieutenant. Someone I will use." Not a King or Queen at his side. That thought only came, just like I said, after he met her (😉).

In the beginning, Alina both was and wasn't what Aleksander was looking for.

She was what he was looking for in a Sun Summoner because:

1) She was an orphan. So hooray! to that 'cause she doesn't have a family to feel connected to. She's all alone for him to take her and mould her as he wishes.

2) She's gullible and thirsty for approval. Aleksander himself said that in RoW:

But she also wasn't what he was looking for 'cause:

1) She already had a villainous perception of him. She told him that she had heard rumors of him. That he has no soul, that something evil created the Fold. Also, what he did to the Fjerdan assassin made her feel even more scared. And of course when she told him that she didn't expect from him to show her kindness because he's the Darkling and he tortures people. All these made the latter distrust her and keep information from her. And, of course, it was a huge obstacle since he had to change that perception.

2) She had Mal. And he tried to cut off that connection by keeping the letters. And he succeeded in that. For a month.

Others could say that her stubbornness was another obstacle for him. And it was because she directed it against him. But people need to understand that even though that annoyed him, it also made him admire her.

And as for the line "the Sun Summoner was the cosmic answer to his needs and loneliness" I believe he also didn't think that but after he met Alina.

Why I stand by so strongly with that belief? Because Leigh said it in a Q&A.

The question by a user was: "If all the Darkling wanted was to be king, why did he had to wait for Alina to come along? How did he know about Sun Summoners and the fact that he should wait for one?"

The answer by Bardugo:

Just like Bardugo said, he waited until the Sun Summoner came to sway the public opinion or use the Fold to his advantage. Not to rule with him/her or stay with that person forever united by marriage. His perception of the Sun Summoner (before Alina came) was entirely political.

Of course some can say "I don't care what the author says. I make my own canon" but I do care. Especially about what she says about the Darkling. Because what she has said about him in interviews and Q&As make total sense about his character and about how I see him too.

I also agree that the Darkling wanted someone that would adore him but I don't exactly believe that he wanted from that person to be a narcissist. That's a strong word. I think he wanted from that person to own his/her power. To have confidence. But narcissism? No.

Also, I don't agree that the Darkling got himself into politics out of his loneliness. I think he did it because no other Grisha would do something about this situation. It kinda reminds me of Thanos when he said "Fine. I'll do it myself". In addition, he knew that he was immortal. So he believed he was the only person that would withstand the test of time and stay on Earth until he solved those Grisha problems.

And about what the post said that the Darkling had the mindset that everything must be happening for a reason, I slightly disagree.

In my mind, he was a realist. He wasn't like "I must be living forever for a reason!" No. He was "I am living forever because I'm too powerful and that's how things are. I have powers that no one else has and yes, that makes me kinda superior than all of you bitches but at the same time I feel lonely." Because the problem with being unique, my dears, is that no one else is like you. You're alone. For him I think it felt both a gift and a curse. But he was a pragmatist with it. I don't think he constantly thought about how the Fates had touched him in everything. And he believed he could save Ravka because he thought of everyone else as too weak and foolish to do it. According to his mindset, HE had more experience, more power and more knowledge to do it.

Now. About the anon's characterization of Alina. I absolutely disagree that Alina is an extrovert. Not in a million years she is. An extrovert is someone who makes friends easily, is outgoing and feels confident socially. Does that sound like Book!Alina? Not to me. Nikolai is an extrovert. Mal is an extrovert. But Alina is more like an introvert or an ambivert. Alina only became very social in S&S because she was forced to as the leader of the Grisha. But even then she needed guidance and advice from Nikolai about it. An extrovert would talk easily, make allies and friends easily, would feel totally at ease on the spotlight. Yes, she was friendly to new people. But that doesn't make her an extrovert. I'm an introvert and I identify with Alina strongly. I'm friendly with new people too but I don't have neither the gift nor the easiness to talk much. Or to laugh or socialize with them.

Here's an example of Alina's awkwardness with other people:

If she was an extrovert she would find something to talk about and there would be no silence. Extroverts have that gift. (My own awkward ass could never💀)

Now about her tendency to avoid responsibility. I both agree and disagree here. There were moments that Alina didn't avoid responsibilities. For example, when she willingly and by her own wish took command of the Second Army in S&S. She could have said "Nah fuck that. Let's go Mal. Nikolai, thank you for the rescue but no". But she proposed that idea herself.

And then of course we have that infamous act of hers where she abandoned everything at the end of R&R and run off with Mal at the orphanage. That really was an evading but I mostly blame Leigh here for the lack of cohesiveness in Alina's character. Sometimes Alina is responsible, sometimes she isn't. For the whole trilogy she loved her power and wanted to shine with it and then Leigh took that from her and made the character seek a quiet life in the countryside. So about this trait of hers I blame the author mostly. Not the character. Leigh didn't keep a cohesive narrative.

I agree that the Darkling was pissed off when Alina run off at S&B because he expected more from her. To save her country instead of abandoning it. And I agree with him. She should handle it better in the first book but she was also seventeen so 🤷 It's complicated.

I agree that Alina isn't comfortable with having attention on her.

I agree that she likes teamwork BUT! only with specific people. For example, she has no problem collaborating with her friends (Mal, Nikolai, Genya, David etc.) but she doesn't like it at all when she has to collaborate with people she doesn't like (Vasily, the King etc.). So it depends on the people she's collaborating with.

She wants to belong yes. I agree.

She likes goofing off with her friends, yes. But! Only with her friends. Those she feels comfortable with (And I don't find it bad at all. That she wants to goof around with her pals, I mean. It's not like she does it in the entire trilogy).

She wants togetherness yes (with her friends again). And even with her allies but only after they understand her and are kind to her.

And I also agree that she mistrusts those in power. She did when she met the Darkling, the King, Nikolai. And she definitely bonds with the underdogs. Genya, for example. And even with Nikolai when she finds out that he's a bastard. Of course it's not surprising for her character since she was an underdog too her entire life.

The Darkling is an introvert but he was made to be this way because his mother never allowed him to make friendships. So he was kinda socially awkward as a child. Who knows what he would have been if his mother wasn't so strict and restricting. An introvert or an extrovert? I leave this for you to decide. But still, as an introvert he had good manipulative skills and knew what to say to people (to the King, to the Grisha etc.). I agree that he wanted to be on the top of the pyramid and about all the rest that he wanted a powerful Sun Summoner capable of subjugation to him.

Now about Zoya. This is the point which I disagree with the MOST. He didn't ignore Zoya because she wasn't the Sun Summoner. He ignored her lustful feelings because he had given up on love after so many heartbreaks. He had witnessed so many loved ones die that he eventually closed off his heart.

The user asked if the Darkling was ever loved by someone (besides him mother). And if he has ever loved someone too in the past (before Alina).

Bardugo answered:

So it's plain that he had given up on love a looong time ago.

"He'd known the name for it once. A hundred lifetimes before."

So apparently for more than a century.🥲

He brushed aside Zoya's feelings for him and any other women's feelings because he was done with his love life. He was being hurt enough. He wouldn't try again.

I think he fell in love with Alina naturally. Aside from her powers and the ideal that she's his balance, he also fell in love with her spontaneity. Her witty remarks. Her failure to hide her feelings. She always showed her emotions through her expressions. And that was something surprising and pleasant for him since when was the last time he met such a person? That also talked to him with such ease?

She made him laugh thrice, remember?

And her tendency to show her emotions openly must have been something strange to him. After so many years in court where nobody must show any weakness.

(The Tailor)

If Zoya was the Sun Summoner I don't think he would fall in love with her. I don't know what would happen between them but I don't think he would feel love for her the way he felt for Alina.

And no, he doesn't ignore Zoya because she isn't the Sun Summoner. He ignores her because he doesn't allow himself to get close to anyone. Not exceptions.

But that doesn't mean that he didn't find Zoya powerful. He did. She was one of his favourites and he had gifted her an amplifier. But that was it. Nothing more than that. Because it's all business to him. Not lovey dovey emotions getting in the way. Not anymore.

And now about the last paragraph of that meta.

I agree that he must have wanted from Alina to accept the color black since the first moment he offered it to her. To embrace it and show to everyone that she's not like the other Grisha. She's special. A favourite of the Darkling's. I'm not sure what the Darkling felt when Alina refused to wear it. But his persistence at the Winter fete shows to me that he considered it important since many important people of the country would attend the party and he wanted to show them "Look who she belongs to. We're one and the same now".

I don't believe that he considered Alina's tendency to hang out with the other Etherealki annoying. I believe he kinda liked it because he thought "Good. She feels one of them now. She feels she belongs here. Not to her old life with her tracker. But here." I think he considered it useful in making her feel more connected to the Little Palace. More accepted. More relaxed. And that way it would be easier for him to manipulate her. She wouldn't have her guard up. Of course he knew that Alina was above them. Different and unique and a league above them. But that connection with others would serve him well for his plans.

I also agree that he wants her to choose him and only him out of devotion and isolation (and yes it's kind of a projection). He refused to comply to her wish in S&B about sparing Mal's life because that would making him weak. Yes, he could be merciful, just like he said. But he wants to have the upper hand. Not her. In the tent scene he's already feeling vulnerable and weak. From Alina's rejection, from the jealousy he feels for the entire Malina situation, from the way she abandoned him etc. If he complied to that wish he would become even weaker. And he certainly does NOT want that. The Darkling wants to feel in control. If he does what Alina wants, she will control him in a way. He will give in to her wish and his feelings. And he wouldn't allow that. So he makes up his own terms.

"Mal is going to die and you will watch that because I want to regain control and cannot give in to you."

He regains the power dynamic in their relationship.

Yes, she will fight him. Yes, she will hate him.

He knows all of that. But it doesn't bother him much because she's immortal too. Eternity will tire her of everything. She will become numb. Like he did. All these emotions will fade eventually.

And about his frustration that she doesn't want what he wants. That what she thinks about the world is not same as what he thinks. I think the Darkling is impatient. He expects from Alina too much. To be as mature as he is. But the difference is that he's centuries old with centuries of experience. And Alina is only 17 years old.😭

Literally, what do you expect from a seventeen year old, Aleksander?

His expectations of Alina were unrealistic, let's face it.

Finally, his belief that Alina will love him eventually because everyone else will be dead, comes from his relationship with his mother, I think. He projects that relationship with Baghra to his relationship with Alina. Just like he kept coming back to Baghra because she was the only constant presence at his life (and everybody else died a mortal death), he thinks Alina will do the same with him. She will come back to him because he will be the only constant presence at her side. Everyone else will become dust and shadows.

OOF!! THAT WAS LONG AF

But kinda necessary because it gave me the opportunity to say some things about these two characters.

In NO case this is a hate reply or hate post. I just said my opinion.😊❤️

Dear anon who send me this ask, please tell me if you agree or disagree with my opinion. I'm REALLY curious. And everybody else feel free to state your opinion too 💛🖤

[tophthedaydreamer]

So I got a comment from @dreamstormdragon asking for tips on how to get VRoid models to work in Blender.

I realized my answer is wayyyy too big for just a reply, so I'm making a whole post about it!

Without further ado, here's my VRoid-Blender workflow:

1 - Use a later version of VRoid Studio. Do not use the beta version! I think I'm currently using v1.28.0.

2 - Use an addon to make .vrm files compatible with Blender. The one I use is the “VRM Addon for Blender”, which you can find here: https://vrm-addon-for-blender.info/en/

Make sure your version of Blender is higher than 2.93. Installing addons is pretty easy, all you have to do after downloading the zip folder is open Blender > got to Edit > Edit Preferences > navigate to the Addons tab > Install > click your zip folder > hit the checkmark to activate it > done! After installing, you should be able to import .vrm files by going to File > Import > clicking the new .vrm option. If you encounter any problems while installing, I recommend watching a video on how to install Blender addons.

3 - So now your VRoid is in Blender. Epic! Most imported VRoids come with a default rig, but it's very basic and has no IK abilities. IKs let you move the hands and feet of the model, by extent automatically bending the arms and legs of said model. It makes posing a lot easier than manually changing each individual bone’s position.

So I use more addons to change that: “Auto Rig Pro” and “Auto Rig Pro: Quick Rig”.

Auto Rig Pro lets you easily make a new, more complex rig for your VRoid character. However, it does mess up the original facial rig, so that's why I use Quick Rig on VRoids. It lets me just add IKs to the default rig, without having to make a new skeleton! It's awesome!

BIG WARNING: You have to already have Auto Rig Pro in order for Quick Rig to work. You can't download Quick Rig by itself because it's connected to Auto Rig Pro. Which sucks because Auto Rig Pro is no longer free (I got it for free during a giveaway for Blender’s anniversary).

You can download Auto Rig Pro here: https://blendermarket.com/products/auto-rig-pro

Download Quick Rig here: https://blendermarket.com/products/auto-rig-pro-quick-rig

Auto Rig Pro has different pricings ranging from $40 USD to $182 USD depending on the features you want, but Quick Rig costs just $10 USD. The installation process is basically the same as the VRM addon earlier. Again, if you have any trouble installing it, watch a tutorial!

4 - But what if you don't want to spend money? Here's my previous rigging process:

Instead of using Auto Rig Pro and Quick Rig, I used the addons featured in this YouTube video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-k1eKcQz29o&pp=ygUUdnJvaWQgbWl4YW1vIGJsZW5kZXI%3D

Basically, the addons shown in this video let you convert the default VRoid rig into a Mixamo rig, which comes with IKs! The video has download links in the description for each addon that you will need, and it also shows how to use them. Best part, all the addons are free!

I animated my Bluey model using a converted Mixamo rig, so it works pretty well. I just like Auto Rig Pro/Quick Rig more because it's a simpler, cleaner process. But both options get the job done, so choose whichever works more for you!

[lifesver]

[ louder, groundshaking boss music in retaliation ] howdy kels :)) i very much share the sentiment that meeting you has been nothing short of so amazing, hilarious, heartbreaking, and so much good vibes so far ♡ i've said it quite some times before i know, broken record, but truly am so very happy to have met you, gotten to write all these absolutely wild aus and dynamics with you and i am so very cheering on what all of it - and what you will bring to our dashes - in the coming year c: i'm very VERY much looking forward to seeing where you take leland, to be able to read all your newspaper publishings across the dash, and where these kiddos will take us all. im very happy to be in this little corner with you guys. :) ♡

you bring such a strong breath of life into leland - he's realistic, he's brave even when he's absolutely terrified and has no clue how to go forward. his love for his friends is so very clearly shown in everything you write regarding either the dires or the friends simply goofing around. he comes across like such a living, breathing character and its thanks to the dedication and love you put in for him. from a guy that gun seems adamant on reducing so badly ( and so fucking wrongly ) as so one-dimensional, icky gross jock stereotype, you've allowed him to grow into such a precious, adorable, kind-hearted guy that honestly? i feel most people would kill to have as a friend. he's silly and warm and goofy in all the right ways and when things go wrong he's so complex and fractured and his depth truly gets to shine in those darker moments.

which of course brings me to that note; all the flavors of the dire aus :))

it has been SO MUCH FUN and SO VERY HEARTBREAKING getting to write with leland and maria in NOSY in particular. their dynamic alone is so gut-wretchingly tragic just on surface level, but the depth that it sinks into, in all of their trajectories, all of their shared dynamics with johnny & lamb, their complex and confusing feelings towards the friends, its been absolutely a blast getting to brainstorm and shoot ideas at all hours about it and im so thankful i get to be part of that experience with both you and lamb. your minds and your love for leland and johnny really bring out such a passion in return to me to write and brainstorm more and its been an amazing experience bouncing ideas off from you two. i absolutely cannot wait to see how, whether in threads or in ask responses, NOSY / WSU and all its different trajectories and more play out as this new year goes on.

i also very much enjoy all the little ideas and hcs and posts we all get ot bounce off of one another - esp getting silly with the aliases, im just adoring all the ways that we're expanding these kiddos to places gun could Literally Never honestly.

ill end it here but know i admire you, your characterization of leland, the love you have for him that so clearly shows in everything you post, your writing as a whole ( because holy shit i adore leland's inner thoughts, how you describe the world and people around him at any given moment!! )and likewise that i read your work, even simple hcs, and its inspiring to get to form a reply to.

i love you and value you and your friendship and as a writing partner and i truly hope this year is nothing but great and rewarding to you as well!! ♡♡♡

UGH RENEE i finally reply to this bc it's so kind and i need it on my blog. i did not expect u to uno reverse me but perhaps i should have, in fact, known-- no but like idk man i don't have a lot of words but this means so much 2 me and i'm so happy to write with you and be ur pal and just be crafting these dynamics and completely out of hand narrative arcs. like it's so nice to just go off the rails w you ik i can pitch something unhinged and u will pull up with another several paragraphs and suddenly we're crying on the ground in shamblse. it keeps happening -- (and i love it)

ur so sweet TT___TT thank u for tolerating me and the jock we love u. i adore all our dynamics so much. and i wanna hype you and ur writing up all the time you always insp me!!! raaaa

i look forward to hanging out with you even more in the new year, and seeing all that you do with your writing on here, it's such a blast to collaborate, and you guys all keep me inspired to write on here and think of new stuff. (and shout out u in particular for always leaving me about a thousand inbox prompts that hurt my feelings that i am possessed to draft 23423432 word replies to. thanks for enabling my angst and drama and dire writing ur so real for that genuinely)

i have waxed poetic in ur inbox i'll shut up before i just ramble the same nonsense here but like ily sm MWAHH

[just-a-honey-badger]

I posted 417 times in 2022

That's 417 more posts than 2021!

102 posts created (24%)

315 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@an-ungraceful-swan

@frayro-called-frey

@fromthemouthofkings

@shipsgaysfordays

@bitch-is-ace

I tagged 245 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#bel rants about random shit - 60 posts

#ask bel - 25 posts

#bel gays homosexually - 24 posts

#bel rants about hp - 19 posts

#bel rants about marauders - 19 posts

#bel procrastinates - 18 posts

#asks - 15 posts

#marauders era - 14 posts

#important - 13 posts

#bel writes - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#like 'i don't want to be a woman but i don't want to be not a woman' and assumed i was just. a woman who kinda had to settle

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

✨the queue✨: a guide

the queue is great! it's helpful if you want to post regularly or if you have lots of posts you want to reblog but don't want to do all at once.

you can queue posts by either a) clicking the reblog button > clicking the arrow next to it once it opens the page where you can add comments > selecting 'add to queue'; or

b) going into settings > clicking on the part that says 'labs' (where tumblr has new features they're working on) > turning on 'fast queue' (this adds a new icon next to the 'reply' and 'reblog' icons where you basically reblog a post but 'add to queue' is the default).

and why would i want to post regularly, you ask? well, the more you post (and the more diverse posts you have), the more likely it is for your posts to reach more people. accurate tags help with this, too. it also helps if you need to post at a consistent schedule for whatever reason, but can't always log on at the same time every day.

if you want to queue your posts at more random times, go into labs and turn on 'queue 2.0'. this enables a more detailed way to schedule your queued posts. i had to play around with it before i found something i liked, and i suggest you do too.

that's it

17 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#4

15 questions 15 tags

ty @shipsgaysfordays for the tag <33

Nickname: tortilla (from @fruutcake)

Height: fucking short lmao under 5 ft even though i'm fully grown

Last thing I googled: 'chapbook publishers' bc i'm trying to figure out if that's something i want to do

Song stuck in my head currently: line without a hook (she's a, she's a lady, and i am just a boy) <3

Number of followers: with the excessive amounts of porn bots? 47

Amount of sleep: ah. um it's inconsistent but on average 9-ish hours?

Dream job: university professor, author, maybe architect? or artist, i want that gay literature major kinda vibe. probably gonna be a ux researcher or sum tho

Wearing: pjs

Movie/book that summarizes me: anne with an e <3

Favorite song currently: r u mine? by arctic monkeys or dandelions by ruth b

Aesthetic: solarpunk/goblincore/light academia

Favorite authors: rick riordan? i don't read enough

Random fact: when a pig gets a cold or cough they shoot their intestines out of their anus and the farmer has to stuff it back in

no pressure y'all: @fruutcake @bitch-is-ace @frey-the-they @4remus @presidentroarie @too-many-fandoms-to-explore @an-ungraceful-swan @whooshsoohw @kara-night-light @that-bitch-kat3 @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm @fromthemouthofkings @adharastarlight @linh-song @xanadaus

(ik i don't interact with half of u sorry i wanted to hit 15)

20 notes - Posted December 18, 2022

#3

writing a new marauders fic where all the marauders in the afterlife react to harry's daily life (not his war stuff but like his cringe everyday stuff)

21 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#2

new tag game!

featuring: questions i never really see

1. a time period you feel you'd do well in: the 1970s

2. a mythical animal you wish you could be: a dragon

3. your favourite time of day: sunset

4. the main character that's the most like you: anne shirley-cuthbert

5. your favourite flower: sunflowers

6. a universe you would love to be in: the potterverse (without the terf part)

7. the aesthetic you wish you had: downtown girl/skater girl

8. a character you would love to be: beth harmon

9. a character you would be best friends with: anne shirley-cuthbert

10. your favourite outfit to wear: my band outfit; aka a dress shirt and wide-leg linen pants

tags: @fruutcake @shipsgaysfordays @bitch-is-ace @an-ungraceful-swan @too-many-fandoms-to-explore @frayro-called-frey @fromthemouthofkings @4remus @presidentroarie @kara-night-light and anyone who wants to do it!

25 notes - Posted December 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

okay, but what if peter didn't exist and regulus was in his place and james and remus took sirius and regulus's last name and the marauders were all the blacks and they went to see walburga and were like 'hey mom!' and walburga fucking flips

173 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[starjxsung]

haiii bbs! how are you?

may the fashion fairies bless you for all of your concerts 🧚🏼‍♀️ i think that for lolla imma just dress nice nice on friday. then probs a bit more casual the other days bc i read that it’s not thaaaaat big of a deal compared to coachella (i still like dressing up for everything i can but ik im not having the energy after standing 12+hrs on friday🤣) i read that armys CAMPED the night before so ngl im kinda scared to not be able to see skz too well.

hmmmmmm that is soooo tough😫but its probably top 5 after mononoke, howls and spirited away. buuuut i need to rewatch it because i also rank them due to them being my comfort films so maybe the boy and the heron is objectively a better film or may become one of my super faves as a comfort film. honorable mention movies that i never hear anyone talk about that are tiered for me: pom poko and when marnie was there (i cried so bad while watching both of them)

i saw that skz are attending the met dressed in tommy 😶‍🌫️ i kinda hate the concept of the met gala, the fundraiser part is okay; but it’s the whole exclusively rich people exhibition that i absolutely don’t like yk? and there’s no real talk about the necessity of the fundraiser in the event so it’s kinda not too slay for me. (i love skz though so i’ll probs watch them walk and then stop🤣. and even it’s not too significant for me, im so aware that it is an objectively super important event so i am very proud of them for that!). i hope this doesn’t turn you off about me😪

on another note i got the funniest little pc holder! terrible pic bc we went out to eat at night. i also noticed i barely have any hyune pcs😭

anyways ily bb! i hope you’ve been having a great weekend <3 take care

-🐈‍⬛

HI MY BABYYYYYYYYYY I’m sorry this took to long to answer !!!! I was going THRUUU IT with the Met Gala yesterday and I was simultaneously on my phone looking at every single post that was published and trying to avoid all media bc the paparazzi were making me so mad and I was stressed 😭

I KNOWWWWW I remember armys (and moas!) camping before hobipalooza & when txt performed and I’m stressed that I’m not going to get a good spot 🤕 for Global Citizen a lot of people camped too and I got there kinda late bc I slept in but the spots we got were still pretty decent! My only issue was the PHONESSSS in the air oh my god you could not get a single pic of 3racha without a phone blocking your view… I had to stand on my tippy toes and block everyone’s view behind me to get ONE good pic and even then I never ended up getting a pic of Jungkook without phones in the way 😔 hoping the screens at Lolla are good so we don’t have to deal w the same shit

I love when Marnie Was There!!!!!!! Oh my god it’s so underrated!!!!!!!!! I cried so hard the first time I watched it ☹️🫶 I need to watch the boy & the heron and I will tell you all my thoughts !!

I have so many thoughts about the met gala but honestly I am just SOOO GLAD it’s over lmfkdkskdkdkskkdjfj I was beyond stressed waiting for them to arrive and seeing what they were going to wear 😭 obviously ended up a shit show of a night thanks to problematic American photographers but what’s new at a western event like the met gala 🤕

YOUR PC HOLDER PLEWASKKKCKKFKEKE THAT IS SO CUTE the Hyune pc is very fitting 😭😭

I love you bbg I hope you’re having the absolute best week !!!!!!!!!! 💗💕💓💘💖🫶

Here are my Felix & Renjun bag setups from the past 2 days (also Minho on my sister’s bag) one of my friends replied to my story and asked why my bag is “always cunted up” and I will be referring to decorating my bag like that all the time now LMAO

[saintobio]

BORA BORA 👀👀 ch 8 is gonna b devastating, I can feel it. The audacity of gojo to invite BOTH y/n and sera like? I feel so bad for y/n bc she thinks it’ll be like iceland again 💔 will she ever vocalize to gojo what she felt at iceland? I think it would hurt him a lot (which is great) to hear how traumatizing/miserable/painful iceland & her 1st time was. its good to see her slowly stand up for herself & gojo panicking when she acts distant, almost as if you lOve her. Gojo pls SUFFER

Anonymous said

man if i were yn i’d ditch the bora bora trip and let hoejo go with sera alone i’d rather stay with my dignity than leave without it 😭✋ i’d tell gojo fuck u and ur reputation LMFAOOO anywayz i loved this chapter u never fail to deliver and i hope u rest well 😚✨

Anonymous said

SO UHH... THEY'RE GOING TO BORA BORA WITH SERA? AND YN WILL COME ALONG? 😀 i smell, terrible terrible things are gonna happen shhshshdd I MUST PREPARE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER I BET ITS GONNA BE SUPER ANGST

Anonymous said

Amazing chapter as usual. Thank you so much for always going all out to write for us and providing us amazing stories 😤😤

Please I'm scared for chapter 8 that y/n would be stuck between Gojou and Sera on that Bora Bora trip 😢 I just hope that Gojou would wake tf up during this time and kick Sera to the ocean and have a fun trip with y/n.

I hope you are resting and stay hydrated because it's summer. Also please don't be stressed about posting and replying. You should do things as your liking 😊😊 We will always support you and your works 🥺🥺

🌸

Anonymous said

im so excited to read chapter 8 BRING IN THE HEAVIEST OF THE HEAVY ANGST PLEASE 😩🖐️ (ik the masochism is showing, and i can't help it but vibe with angst)

also thank you for this chapter i love the range of emotions i felt all throughout. truly an experience for me, you're such an amazing writer. keep it up!!!

Anonymous said

naur i really hope gojo wouldn't bring sera to the vacation bcs what the fuck is wrong with him.

Anonymous said

Wait, so I remember you saying chapter 8 will be the start of heavy angst and bora bora chapter to be the most angst, so would chapter 8 be the bora bora chapter?

I love love love the update. It’s just the right amount of fluff, angst and smut. Truly the calm before the storm.

I almost threw my phone when I read the part where gojo still has explicit photos of him and Sera on his phone. The audacity!!!!

Also, I get why Gojo is tracking Sera’s ovulation cycle but can’t he just ask her to take birth control pills to avoid pregnancy scares and he’s mad rich, just buy a plan b. Would this ‘gojo tracking sera’s cycle’ be their argument for the next chapter or gojo finding out about the mc taking birth control? You don’t have to answer if it’s spoiler tho.

Lol, I was reading chapter 7 with my boyfriend, and he jumps every time I open my mouth to complain about gojo. Like he just sits there “👁👄👁”

1) yes she’ll talk abt iceland sometime soon 2) chapter 8 is the start of the “reversal of the roles” bc the arc will change from hereafter 3) thanks so much for reading u guys 🥺🥺 i swear every single one of u give me motivation to keep writing

[whatdoyouwanttobecalled-1]

I've been seeing a lot of posts about this all over social media, and while the majority of them are fine and just people expressing their opinions, a lot of people from both sides of the argument have been saying some really inexcusable stuff (such as telling people on the opposing side to off themselves, etc) and it's really pissing me off. Pls everyone idc if you agree w me or not but at least try to be mature and respectful when engaging in these conversations bc the goal is learning, understanding, tolerance, and cooperation (working together to find solutions to problems that will benefit all of us). So here's my stance on the issue, and feel free to reply, ask questions, or dm me and start a conversation regardless of your veiws. Just be nice! Here's my opinions, based off my own personal experience:

To start off: pansexuality is not inherently biphobic and/or transphobic

Yes, there are pansexuals who are biphobic, and yes they harm the transgender community in that sense. This is because generally pansexuals who are biphobic say they bisexuals are transphobic and essentially invalidate binary trans people's identity as a man or woman by saying that bisexuals are only attracted to cis men and cis women, not trans people. However, the majority of pansexual people do not think this way. Personally (and most of the pansexuals as talked to agree w me), I do not believe that bisexuality is transphobic. Why? Trans women are women, and trans men are men. If you will not date a trans person simply bc they are trans, then you're transphobic, but that has absolutely nothing to do w your sexuality. My own and most people's understanding of bisexuality (and the definition you get if you Google it, and the definition that most bisexuals will give you), is that bisexuality means attraction to 2 or more genders (which yes, could mean all), with a preference. With. A. Preference. I identified as bi to myself for years, and came out as bi for almost a year, never feeling as if the label fully fit me or that I was fully understood by the community bc there is always sm emphasis on the fact that bisexuals have a preference, while I never have. I don't think anyone is less than anyone else for having a preference, or better than anyone else for not having a preference. Pansexuality simply allows me to be apart of a smaller more specific community that fully understands my experience w attraction. I also know that bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term for anyone attracted to 2+ genders, but in the same way that it's not biphobic for lesbians to prefer to date other lesbians bc of their shared experience, I like having a smaller community that specifically experiences attraction in the same way that I do. I've also seen a lot of people talking about how people seem to think that bisexuals only care about sex, and that pansexuals think theyre better bc they're uwu innocent babies. I'm not entirely sure I'm not on the ace spectrum somewhere but lemme tell you that does not make me any less of a whore. No one is better than anyone else for how much or little they think about or enjoy sex.

2nd; bisexuality is not inherently transphobic.

Yes, there are bisexuals who are transphobic, but this is not the majority of the community. Most bi people consider trans women to be real women (which they are) and trans men to be real men (which they are). I will say it again; if you won't date someone just bc they're trans, you are transphobic, but that has nothing to do w your sexuality. As for non binary people, yes, bisexuality includes them too. Bisexuality is not inherently transphobic.

3rd; all mspec labels are fucking valid.

Whether you identify as bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or polysexual, you are valid. You can use bisexuality as an umbrella term if that's what you're most comfortable w, or if the definition perfectly describes your relationship w attraction then that's cool too. If you feel that pansexuality, omnisexuality, or polysexuality better describes you and you enjoy having a smaller more specific community to fully relate to, guess what, that's also cool. No one is better than anyone else, and while there are members of every community who feel that they are, they do not represent everyone.

4th; panphobia/omniphobia/polyphobia only comes from the mspec community, if it comes from outside, it's probably biphobia

Let me explain; there is no problem that comes from people who are not attracted to multiple genders that everyone on this spectrum doesn't face. Bisexuality is a spectrum that we all fall on, an umbrella term that we all fit under. This means that unless it's coming from a person or group on this spectrum, it's probably biphobia you're facing. There are 2 types of biphobia: the biphobia that comes from mspecs, and the biphobia that comes from people who aren't on the spectrum of bisexuality. The biphobia that comes from inside is only against people who identify as bisexual, and the biphobia that comes from outside is against anyone who is attracted to multiple genders. I'm not saying there aren't a few instances of people who arent mspec targeting a specific group and not every mspec identity, but most of the time, if it's from the outside, it's classified as biphobia, bc that includes all of us.

In conclusion, this is what the mspec sexualities are and some of my final thoughts;

Bisexuality = attraction to 2+ genders with or without a preference. It can be used as an umbrella term by the whole mspec community, or as a specific label on it's own. It includes trans and non binary people, and is not a transphobic label. There are transphobic bisexuals, but the fact that they are transphobic and the fact that they are bisexual are not related in any way. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity, or sexuality in general.

Pansexuality = attraction to all genders without a preference. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic pansexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their pansexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as pansexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Omnisexuality = attraction to all genders w a preference. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic omnisexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their omnisexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as omnisexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Polysexuality = attraction to more than 2, but not all genders. It is not biphobic and/or transphobic. There are biphobic and/or transphobic polysexuals but the fact that they are biphobic and/or transphobic is not related to their polysexuality. Many people who identify as bisexual describe their attraction in the same way as polysexuals. This is 100% valid as bisexuality can be used as an umbrella term and the label you identify w is all about your comfort. They are not more or less than any other mspec identity or sexuality in general.

Honestly, I think we all get enough hate from inside and outside the lgbtqia+ community and we need to stick together and have each others backs. It's not the microlabels that are causing problems, it's the exclusionists. Invalidating eo's experiences and saying that biphobia is a bigger problem, panphobia is a bigger problem, omniphobia is a bigger problem, or polyphobia is a bigger problem, isn't gonna help anyone or solve anything. We can have slightly different experiences and still relate and support eo. Also, even if you have a problem w a specific label, pls just ask your questions genuinely, and try to understand the opposing side. Just have a mature conversation. If you're too young or immature to do that then you probably shouldn't be on social media. Calling eo names and telling eo to off ourselves isn't helping anything and there is no excuse for it. I've always loved the lgbtqia+ community for it's love and acceptance, but the more active I become within the community itself, the more I realise how toxic it can be. Sometimes I'm genuinely embarrassed to part of this community. Especially when it's grown adults acting like children that is causing the problems. Pls do better. Thank you for your time, thank you for reading, I love you, have a nice day!!!

Also I just want to add that ik there are more mspec identities than this, and you're all so valid. These are just the sexualities that ik enough about to give a proper statement on and the ones I've seen mentioned in this discourse the most. I'm actively trying to learn more about the mspec identities I mentioned, and those that I didn't. Pls feel free to give me any info on any sexuality (doesn't even have to be mspec I just want to learn more so I can be good ally for everyone), or ask me any questions about my own sexuality, and pls let me know if there is anything I should add or any misinformation in this post (I will not be including blatant blankphobia against any mspec identity so don't even try it bitches)

[1purpleboi1]

Chronicles of Nekoma’s Manager Pt 3

Special thanks to: @vvenusblue! Thx sm for following!

All parts HERE

A/N: Hiya! Here is part 3 of the Nekoma Chronicles : Meeting Bokubro and Akaashi

In this post, meeting our favorite owls:

Immediately after your first day as manager, Kuroo called Bokuto in distress after seemingly messing up both of his first impressions (according to Kenma)

Bokuto BEGGED Kuroo to take you to meet him

The next practice, Kuroo WANTED to ask you if you would like to join him and Kenma to the arcade with two of his friends but he ended up asking Kenma to ask you

He didn’t outwardly say that to him, I mean he has to have someee of the spotlight

Kuroo: Hey Kenma! Y/N seems to like you a lot more than me... why don’t you join me in asking her to the arcade with Bokuto so she CANT say no cause you’re there?!

Kenma said yes, only because he also wants to spend more time with you

While the two of the ask you to the arcade ( you say yes ) the rest of the team can’t help but listen in

After saying yes and turning to talk to Coach Nekomata** the rest of the team GLARES at Kuroo

If looks could kill Nekoma would need to find a new captain

** Nekomata is 100% in a bet with Coach Naoi betting who you’ll end up going out with

Inuoka and Shibayama are in awe of their upperclassman for having the guts to even ask you to a “date”

Yaku is charging at Kuroo, ready to get into another argument with him, to which Kuroo replies:

Kuroo: Maybeee if you ate more fish you would have the balls to talk to her

It takes both Tora AND Kai to hold him back while Lev is laughing that Yaku is for once the one getting laughed at

When you finally meet the owls:

That weekend Kuroo and Kenma take you to the arcade to meet up with Bokuto and Akaashi.

When you first meet, Bokuto thinks you are ADORABLE and 100% understands why Kuroo messed up so bad in front of you

Bby owl is so excited to go to the arcade and play Mario Kart and win cheap stuffed animals

When you first meet, Akaashi has a less noticeable response then Bokuto but still thinks very highly of you from the start

On the way to the arcade you, akaashi, and Kenma make small talk cracking small jokes here and there

Once at the arcade Bokuto and Kuroo drag you to play Mario Kart with them

After losing three rounds of Mario Kart to you, Kenma, and Kuroo, you see the first glimpse of Bokuto’s EMO mode.

Lucky you are able to quickly cheer him up with Akaashi’s help after assuring him there are more games in the arcade to win at

In the end, he and Kuroo win a total of 14 stuffed animals and 3838 pounds of candy they’ll never eat

Bokuto even invites you to make a tiktok with him WHICH IK HED BE AMAZING AT

It’s a great day for everyone and you’ve made 2 new friends.

Thanks for reading! Lemme know if this is getting little too specific and if you’d like me to switch to broader headcannons for this series instead of treating it as a story!

Masterlist

Requests Open!

[lovezella]

VENOM

part 2 of this

Klaus Mikaelson x fem!oc

Warnings: Uhh mention of knife?? Idk but if there are any warnings please inform me!!!

A/n: hello there! sorry I haven't been posting for a while now I have been busy with school and family stuffs but I'm back!!, Anyway let's goooo!

"So...he is just inside of you?"

"Yes"

"That is..."

"I know" I pursed my lips, nodding awkwardly.

I explained to Niklaus pretty much everything. We were sat down in our bed facing each other.

"Wait hold on" He furrowed his eyebrows and pointed at me. "Marcel knew?"

"Oh yeah for a while now" I answered, shrugging my shoulders.

"So you told Marcel before telling me" Nik glared at me lightly and scoffed. My mouth formed in an 'O' and I sighed.

I looked at him with a guilty expression. "To be fair...he saw venom transformed and you have a lot going on your plate right now with Hope and the witches"

His glare softened lightly, he can never stay mad at me even if he tried.

Nik sighed. "Fine" he paused "Does anyone know?"

I thought about it before I shook my head no.

"Do you want to tell them?" He asked softly. Even if I didn't say it our loud, he knew I was scared. Scared that they will be afraid although they're literally vampires and werewolves. Scared that my sister would never look at me again because I kept this secret from her. We had a promise since we were little. We promised we would tell each other everything.

"Can....not yet" I sighed. Nik nodded, understanding.

He leaned in and kissed me. His hands found its way to my waist as he lift me up a little to place me in his lap. His back was now rested on the headboard and I was sitting on his lap.

I let myself melt on the kiss, pushing away all the problems and stress.

He pulled away slowly and placed his forehead on mine. I sighed happily.

"I will keep you secret love, don't worry" He promised and peck the tip of my nose.

I giggled softly. "I know, I love you"

"I love you too" He replied. We held each other, embracing and enjoying the moment hoping it would like this everyday.

—A few months later— (big time skip ik)

For the past few months it had been easier for me to keep venom. Klaus was helping a lot, whenever venom was hungry, he would help us cover the body—but since I put venom in a chicken diet, less traces of dead bodies where found.

"Aviana!" Hayley called from the kitchen. I rolled my eyes, this is the third time she called me.

"Yes dear sister of mine" I asked sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes at me. She stopped cutting strawberries and looked up. "Can you look after Hope for a while?"

"Sure, why? where are you going?" I asked her, picking up a piece of strawberry from the bowl.

"Some business with the wolves" She shrugged and continued cutting strawberries.

I looked at her raised a brow. I know my sister, she doesn't look me in the eye every time she lies.

She felt me staring at her and looked up again. Once she saw the look on my face, she rolled her eyes.

She sighed. "I just needed a time alone"

The look on my face immediately turned in to a sad look. Hayley had been working hard for the past few days—come to think of it, I've never seen her at the mansion anymore.

"How bout you and I have a sisters day and we can leave Hope with Rebekah?" I offered her. It has been a long time since we hang out.

Hayley chuckled. "You sure? Don't you have a date with Klaus?" She sent me a teasing smile.

I scoffed. "He had an emergency meeting with Marcel and the others so we have to move our date to Saturday"

Hayley looked at me for a second before nodding.

"Sure, Let's have a sisters day" She chuckled softly. I let out a silent cheer and hugged her.

"Watch out for the knife!" She warned and I started laughing which caused her to laugh too.

—That night—

Hayley and I had a wonderful day. I can't remember the last time we had a free day for ourselves.

When we got home, everyone was in teh mansion chatting around, waiting for dinner.

I went to the kitchen while Hayley went upstairs to check on Hope and to put our bags away.

I saw Freya and Finn cooking dinner.

"Hey guys" I greeted them and gave them both a short side hug each.

"Hi, where did you and Hayley ran off too?" Freya asked as she wiped her wet hands on the towel.

"We had a sister day, we went shopping and then we went to the park we used to go to when we were young and then we—"

"Sorry to cut you off Ava but dinner is going to be served now" Finn cut me of, he started putting the dinner on the table.

I nodded my head. "Alright, I'll call Hayley"

Everyone was eating and having a conversation while I started zoning out. I feel like there is something bad going to happen.

V? you good?. I heard venom ask

Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I answered

"So Avi, what did you and Hayley do today?" Freya's voice snapped me out off my thoughts.

I looked at her and put on a small smile, recalling my and Hayley's day a while ago.

"We uh went shopping and we went to the park and we hang out in a cafe" I took a bite of my steak after I said that.

Rebekah smiled. "Well you have to show me all the new clothes you bought after dinner"

"Oh you are going to love the new top Avi brought" Hayley said.

There was a loud noise outside that caught everyone's attention. Everyone immediately stood up.

We started walking outside to see what was going on.

Ugh, that noise!. Venom screeched. I stoped walking when the realization hit.

The noise kept on going and going. I saw witches banging on metal while muttering spell that stopped the Mikaelsons and Marcel. They were now covering their ears and kneeling down.

"Aviana Marshall! I have been longing to meet you, dear" An old woman—probably 40s or 50s—stood in the middle of the group of witches.

"My name is Arianna Johnson, a pleasure to meet you Aviana" She grinned. I looked at her in confusion.

"What do you want from me?" I hissed.

"Simple, I want the symbiote" The woman, Arianna, started making her way infront of me.

I couldn't do anything. I feel my wolf whimpering in pain and venom weakening from the noise.

She raised her fingers on my forehead and all I saw was black.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM HER!" I heard a faint voice, who I assumed was Klaus, yell at her but was followed by a shout in pain from him.

I tried fighting but it all fades to black.

—Klaus' Pov:—

They took her.

Aviana collapsed and the witches stop the noises and lifted her with magic and disappeared. My siblings, Marcel and I stood up.

"Where is she?!?" Hayley shouted in anger.

"The witches took her" Marcel grumbled angrily.

"They took her! THEY TOOK AVIANA!" I started yelling in anger.

Elijah sped to my side. "Calm down brother. We will find her"

"We better or else I will kill everyone" Hayley muttered with a huff. I kept silent, I was thinking ways to kill the witch who took my Aviana.

"Uh oh, Nik is silent. That's a bad sign" Kol said.

"Shut up Kol" I replied before walking back in.

"We have to find her" I heard Elijah say, "Freya?"

Freya nodded. "I'll try and locate her"

"I'll call Davina," Marcel said before leaving.

"Kol and I will start searching" Rebekah informed and dragged Kol.

Elijah sped beside me. "Brother, We will find her. I give you my word"

A little cliffhanger but I'm already working on part 3 soo yeahhh.

[azucanela]

HOME PART 4 TEASER [ZUKO X READER]

PART 1 | PART 2 |  PART 3

Y/N was avoiding Zuko.

She had been ever since they’d left– more accurately, escaped the Fire Sage Temple, and Zuko couldn’t help but wonder why. Especially since they needed to have a lot of conversations seeing as so much had happened, she’d been trapped inside the room alongside the Avatar and failed to capture him. Zuko couldn’t help but wonder if he should attribute that to how... odd she had been acting. After all, Y/N had nearly killed them both, by accident of course, on the Komodo Rhino. Something had distracted her, he just didn’t know what. 

It horrified him if he was honest.

He’d never seen Y/N so shaken, the look in her eyes in those moments concerned him. Zuko would never admit it, but he was worried. When she was trapped with the Avatar alone, this feeling only worsened, the dread and panic filling his chest as he anxiously awaited for the doors to reopen. And even when they did, Y/N said nothing of what had occurred in the room.

This just worried him further. 

Y/N had a feeling that she was the reason Zuko had elected to spar with Lieutenant jee, likely to take out his anger in the only way he knew how, violently. He’d obviously noticed her successful attempts at avoiding him, and he had unsuccessfully attempted to corner her on the ship several times in the past few days, much to her dismay. But Y/N wasn’t sure what she would say if they did finally have a conversation, would she lie? Could she even tell the truth if she wanted to?

Shaking these thoughts from her mind, Y/N brought her attention back to Zuko, who dodged a blast of fire from the Lieutenant, only to send an even harsher blast back at the man. Y/N couldn’t help but grimace as she watched the interaction, brows furrowing as she turned to look at Iroh, who had a pensive look on his face.

Now, Iroh had noticed the tension between the pair when he had returned from capture, but he’d written it off as the same tension he’d seen between them for what felt like years. But looking at them now, it became clear that this was something different, Zuko was... upset, and Y/N was being rather non-confrontational.

This was nothing new he supposed, but a cause for concern nonetheless. So, Iroh figured, why not get involved? Just a tad.

“What the hell?” Zuko grumbled as the ship shifted into another direction.

Y/N pushed herself off the railing, brows drawing together in confusion as she watched the ship change course, and moving closer towards Zuko. If this was an ambush, or even worse, a revolt from the crew, someone would need to ensure his safety. 

“Just a small change of course, nephew. I lost my White Lotus tile, from my Pai Sho game, so I’ll be needing one from the nearby port.” 

Zuko frowned, moving to confront his uncle, only for Y/N to come between the pair, bringing her hand to Zuko’s chest to halt his movements. The boy paused, eyes coming to her face in shock, this was the first time she had interacted with him in days.

Iroh was smirking, even as Zuko realized the way his harsh facade disappeared and glared at him, “why do you need a stupid game piece?” A small huff of fire left his mouth, and Zuko grabbed the hand Y/N had placed on his chest, pulling her away.

Y/N made an attempt to rip her hand from Zuko’s grasp, only for his grip to tighten around it as she spoke, “Zuko what are you doing?”

“You and I need to have a talk.”

She really should’ve seen this coming. Whenever ports are involved, bad things happened. Last time, Y/N had been held at knife point, and though her current situation wasn’t necessarily a good comparison well... It still sucked, because she did not have a plan, or a decent excuse. 

Hopefully the raccoon excuse would work again. 

A/N: i really need to make a masterlist for this um,, it should be out eventually haha also i know what you are thinking, canela what are you doing posting a teaser so soon after you posted part 3? and the answer is I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE FORTUNE TELLER SCENE JKASHDJKASHD <3 and ik teasers might seem pointless but they serve as a way to motivate me so im sorry if you don’t like them 🥺  

TAGLISTS[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via asks or replies]

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[luvdetroit]

Hey! I 've just read the first chapter of the dbh series you wanted to start, and I really like the plot 🥺 Do you plan on continuing it? 👉🏻👈🏻

hey, sorry for the late reply! i actually do have it planned out a bit differently than i originally wrote it in the first chapter. i think this planned version is better than the one i posted. there are many other ideas that i have in my drafts, i just haven’t released them yet.

thank you for reading it! i'm happy you enjoyed it and i'm sorry for saying this but i think i'll just scrap this idea and go with my new one (VOW). it will be somewhat similar, just more complex? and hopefully interesting!

not sure if you are even interested in hearing about them but i’ll drop them here! maybe if you or anyone is interested, i will follow through with posting them (have been feeling very bad about my writing recently).

for anyone who does read my ideas, please do not steal! i really worked hard on thinking about these and would be really hurt if anyone took them. they aren’t super original or anything, but i still created them 😩

these are really roughly written so please don’t judge 🚶🏼‍♀️🚶🏼‍♀️

please do comment or send me a message in my inbox about which idea you like more, if i should do a specific one or all of them even! 💞💞💞

1. TITLE: VOW

pairings: various! x fem!reader

genre: meta (?), angst, fluff, etc

plot: metafiction. mc surfs the web to buy d:bh and finds a seller who is willing to sell the game for cheap (suspiciously). mc contacts the user and a deal has been made.

we will flesh out the seller later, he ain’t all that important rn. so mc gets the game after maybe two days? and in the packaging the seller wrote a letter to her, it is pretty cryptic. we can get into detail on the letter and stuff later.

so mc starts the game up right away because she is excited to play it. on her first play though everything is pretty normal. there are a few differences/odd occurrences but mc doesn’t bat an eye because it’s her first time playing so she wouldn’t know.

gradually as she plays, the characters (connor and markus) are more aware of them being in a game. (sense they are in the same series and are prototypes it only makes sense for them to be able to sync themselves/go beyond their coding).

connor and markus have broken the fourth wall/have become aware with other players. they grow a deep hatred for the player. sense they can’t throw their anger at the creators of the game, they can do so with the player.

at first, connor and markus only did minor things that didn’t really stand out to the player. when connor/markus breaks the fourth wall and directly talks about the player, the player thinks it’s apart of the game.

but when connor/markus mentions the player’s name that is when they freak out a bit, but assumes the characters got their names from their playstation.

it’s only when connor/markus states some personal stuff about them do they feel fear. (connor/markus can sync with the smart tv that also contains all their info).

connor/markus have tried to sync with the game/tv enough to transport the player in the game so the player can experience first hand what it’s like to live in their world. but their connection weakens each time the player resets. their memories are also wiped out.

over time connor/markus are able to retain their memories a lot faster but forget the previous players of the game. even if they don’t remember the previous players they still think of one goal. transport the player into their world, let them suffer, seeing first hand how THEY feel.

connor/markus will be slightly oc. they will have somewhat of a dark side.

i didn’t explain this in the summary bcus i’m dumb but the game can’t be destroyed (it’s like a possessed object). even if you throw it out or something it will still go back to you bcus you own it. the only way to get rid of it is selling it.

ik some wack logic but sjakwkw

sam is the seller of the game. (his username is GAMER BOY 69). the game is sold for $10 with free shipping and no tax.

mc: does this really only cost $10? why is this so cheap?

sam: i’m just being generous

sam: are you willing to buy it?

mc: can you show proof that you actually have it and it isn’t broken?

sam: sure, hold on a second

[sam sends a video of him filming the game packaging and saying his username (in a bit of embarrassment) and mc’s. he reassured her that it isn’t broken and works perfectly fine. he tells her he didn’t like the game so that’s why he’s selling it.]

sam’s letter is in a white envelope, his writing is slightly messy, almost jittery (from nerves). he feared he was being watched by, ‘them’ so he wrote cryptically.

sam’s note: i’m sorry i did this to you. i really am. i just didn’t have any other choice. don’t play the game, please.

2. TITLE: PARESTHESIA

pairings: various! x fem! reader

genre: dark au, cult au, angst, fluff, etc

plot: in this au kamski doesn’t publicly make androids n stuff

so amanda stern is still kamski’s mentor in this au

she, ‘disappears’ at some point and is listed as a missing person

kamski knows she isn’t gone though bcus she told him her plan

basically amanda is very manipulative and warped kamski’s young mind into thinking humans being lesser beings and that kamski can really create something even more superior, androids.

kamski and amanda are humans but they are excused because of them being intelligent and having that sort of mindset- humans being filth on this planet

instead of kamski making cyberlife public

he instead also disappears after a few years later (once he’s done w college)

it’s a gap between amanda and his disappearance to not completely draw suspicion

cyberlife is created in secret, hidden from the public

belief: humans are disgusting and should be replaced by something far superior, androids.

rules: only those who have the same mindset as kamski and amanda can join the cause and contribute. (so human co workers of amanda and such help gather material and thirium (blue blood) to create more androids in secret).

practices: a member has to willingly be able to sacrifice any body part kamski chooses to replace for an android part or partake in any experiment kamski may have. if not, they aren’t fully in the cause and should be ridden of.

kamski wants to take a oblivious civilian in for a secret test of his

he wants to test out how human his androids can be and if it can blend in with humans in normal day to day life.

so he releases one of his androids, connor (rk800) out into the world. his mission is to find a human he can initiate a relationship with. once he finds that human, he slowly grows a relationship with them over time- kamski is studying all of this through connor’s eyes.

kamski is amazed by this new discovery- his androids do blend in with humans well.

the last secret test for mc is connor telling her his true nature. (telling her he isn’t human, he’s an android). connor breaks this to mc at his, ‘house’ which is connected to their secret compound/underground base.

kamski wants to know how mc will react to this news because her actions depends on whether she’s just another piece of human scum or not. this will validate whether she can join their, ‘organization’ or not.

mc will be confused by connor’s sudden news at first. she won’t believe him until he pulls back his skin to show his porcelain interior.

she’ll be surprised then and question whether their relationship was all real or not.

connor reassures her that he does share her feelings. he admits that at first this was a mission but he truly does feel for her. he asks her if she still has feelings for him even after knowing he isn’t human and mc (after a bit of thinking) says that she does.

this makes connor happy as well as kamski bcus mc got through the test. this is the first android-human relationship too.

a few days pass just to really make sure mc doesn’t act any different and really is telling the truth about having feelings for connor still- when connor informs mc that his creator wants to meet her in person one day.

connor and mc go to his place and he leads her downstairs to his normal looking basement- and there is this really intricate hidden puzzle/door that opens to their underground compound.

connor leads mc to a room and meets kamski. kamski comments on mc- on how he was surprised that mc quickly took a liking to connor and how she still has feelings for connor even after finding out the truth. he’s impressed and approves of the relationship.

he tells her he hopes she keeps her word about this organization being a secret because he wouldn’t want anything bad happening to her so soon.

after that connor and mc go about their relationship like normal. although, connor has been experiencing these odd feelings lately. he’s also been oddly wanting to act out violently towards the most smallest things. like mc talking to someone else, smiling at someone else, touching someone else, even if it was platonic.

it didn’t sit right with him. he never voiced these new feelings to kamski though. he was too afraid kamski might tell him he has something wrong with his software. he doesn’t want kamski to call him defective and replace him for another connor. he doesn’t want to be seen as not good enough for mc.

connor doesn’t act on any of his thoughts. he doesn’t let his emotions control him.

after about two weeks kamski calls connor and tells him he wants him to meet someone (rk900) and that he should bring mc.

so connor visits the compound and meets kamski in a lounge area with mc. they both enter the room with kamski casually laying on a lush couch. a small smile is brought on his face when he noticed connor and mc’s presence. he greets them both and tells them that he’s happy they could make it.

connor opens his mouth, about to ask who the person kamski wants him to meet when rk900 walks in with two cups of tea + thirium in his hands.

rk900 places a tea down in front of kamski, the other tea and thirium on the opposite side of kamski’s before returning his attention to connor and mc. his eyes scrutinizing connor and mc.

kamski’s smile widens at connor’s reaction and stands up, clasping rk900’s shoulder with one hand. he prompts rk900 to introduce himself.

rk900 introduces himself somewhat stiffly in a monotone voice.

rk900: my name is conan.

it was short and to the point. he offers an open hand for a handshake.

connor looks over conan, completely ignoring the hand offered to him, then at kamski with all sorts of emotions. the main ones being confusion and fear. at this point connor is wondering if conan is going to replace him for a reason connor does not know.

kamski breaks the awkward silence/tension in the room.

kamski: “well, connor? aren’t you going to greet your brother?”

connor takes a few moments to process this information and absentmindedly inquires, “brother?” in a small voice. his brows furrow slightly and his gaze draws towards his look alike. from up close, conan looks exactly like connor with a few differences. he was slightly taller than connor and had cool greyish blue eyes. why would kamski decide to make me a brother? i didn’t ask for one.

kamski: “yes, brother. i just thought it might be lonely to live alone in that big house of yours so i have gifted you with your own brother.”

at this point connor is having a mental breakdown. kamski doesn’t do things without a logical reason. he’s not telling me the full truth.

connor finally breaks out of his thoughts, his eyes darting back to kamski and he nods shortly, ignoring conan’s still outstretched hand and his presence altogether.

connor: [in a stony voice] okay, is that all?

conan drops his hand.

the corners of kamski’s lips twitch, threatening to split into a menacing smirk at connor’s cold reaction. kamski clicks his tongue mockingly and sits back down, grabbing his tea.

kamski: “that’s not how you should treat your brother. [sighs] that will be all, but you have to teach conan how things work around here. that’s what a big brother should do, after all.”

connor bites back a disgruntled sigh of his own and settles for a slight frown.

connor: “why wasn’t he informed before meeting me? didn’t he go through the same test runs as me?”

it took everything in connor to not let his irritation show through his tone.

kamski pins connor with an annoyed glare, a small bit of amusement shining through.

kamski: “why are you testing my patience connor? are you not happy with my gift?”

kamski’s words were light mockery, with a dark undertone to them. connor knew better than to irritate his creator further. he bows his head slightly to him.

connor: “i apologize for causing you further inconvenience. i..am just surprised by the new addition, that’s all.”

kamski simply nods lazily. waving a hand, he tells them they are dismissed.

connor turns away from his creator and him to the exit with you following right beside him silently. he places his hand on the small of your back and presses you close to him possessively. the slight tapping of a pair of shoes follow behind connor and you. connor ignores it.

connor walks through the maze of hallways without pause, part of him hoping his, ‘brother’ would get lost and never return.

he knew better though. without even looking, he knew conan wasn’t even a step behind and it irritated connor to no end.

once the three enter the, ‘main area’ which was basically the center of the compound, connor turns around to face conan.

connor: [monotonously] “give me your hand, i’ll transfer the data so this all can be over with.”

connor outstretches his hand. part of him wants to pull it back because he doesn’t want to touch him.

conan looks at connor’s outstretched hand to connor’s face.

conan: “no, i can’t do that. kamski specifically told me to get the information from you the, ‘human’ way. he wishes for us to talk to each other like brothers.”

connor looks even more bewildered at that bit of information..why would kamski do this without his consent? this..has to be some sort of test. maybe conan is just playing the role as his brother to spy on him and catch him doing something that may incriminate him? does kamski know about his odd..’glitches’? did he make rk900 just to dispose of him and replace him?

no, he couldn’t have known..the cameras in his opticals were shut off weeks ago. so why was rk900 here? what is kamski getting at?

connor also took notice of how..machine like conan is. conan walks stiffly and has a rigid stance. in that sentence he brings up what kamski wants rather than his. he follows kamski’s orders as if they were law without question.

connor still has his hand in front of him and ignores what conan says

he’s like, “it would be easier if we just did this.” (he’s irritated and is insistent)

and conan refuses, again repeating, “we have to follow kamski’s orders.”

and connor taunts conan

he’s like, “can you not think for yourself? i thought you were supposed to be alive.”

at that, mc finally speaks, telling connor off, “that’s enough, connor. i think you should just follow what kamski says. conan is just as alive as you and needs some of your guidance.”

connor’s eyes slightly widen as well as conan’s. connor’s frown deepens at your words. you’re defending him. why? you should be on his side, not him.

conan still has a blank face but his eyes are now trained on mc, curiosity being one of the emotions flickering in his eyes.

connor notices conan looking at mc and narrows his eyes in disgust.

connor: fine..we can discuss everything at my place.

connor turns and places his hand back on mc’s lower back, pressing her as close to him and far from conan as possible.

conan follows on without question.

3. TITLE: DARK EXTERIOR

pairings: various! x fem! reader

genre: dark au, angst, fluff, etc

plot: the main plot is androids taking over and humans as pets

so mc is obviously gonna be a human, she is like in one of those sort of adoption places but it’s more like a buy your pet thing

and mc is gonna be 18 y/o because yes

- mc and her parents live in a house that is located in a rather secluded area in the woods

- when word gets out about androids dominating humans and turning them into slaves- mc’s parents decide to live underground. mc is 3 y/o during this time. (the father is an artist/architect, this was originally just a project for himself). years pass with them being undetected. (it was 2038 when androids dominated humans)

- 15 years passed without them being detected and mc is 18 y/o (year is 2053)

- mc’s father scavenges for food and such once a month

- underground they still have a tv, tablet, and phones to keep up with how everything is going in detroit

- mc feels trapped after living underground for basically her entire life and learning second hand about androids, the revolution, etc

- mc starts doubting her parents and their reasons. she questions whether if there are bad androids out there who will snatch her up.

- mc asks her father if she can help him scavenge one day but he along with her mother are against that (this is on her birthday when she turns 18 y/o bcus she thinks she’s mature enough to)

- this causes a big argument between her parents and her and she voices her doubts to them- this ends with mc locking herself in her room. after awhile when it’s night time, her father visits her and apologizes for yelling but tells her she still can’t go up there because it’s too dangerous.

- mc hides her anger and lies to her father about her understanding. when it’s about midnight mc decides to sneak out and go above ground.

- mc is wandering in the woods mindlessly basking in everything- she kind of becomes careless (she doesn’t act cautious when wandering around). she maybe follows a bird she sees (owl) out of curiosity and nears markus and his crew (simon, north, and josh). they were having a picnic or just stargazing.

- simon hears rustling and light footsteps coming towards them so he alerts the others, he’s like, ‘do you guys hear that?’

- the others listen and do hear the footsteps and rustling coming rather close and quickly. all of them are tense (because they have experienced a lot of..attacks in the past so obviously they got their bars raised)

- so mc bumps into markus and everyone is surprised by mc’s sudden appearance

- mc stops in her tracks and looks at markus, it takes her a minute to really look at him bcus it’s dark and her human eyes are very poor at catching details

- she recognizes markus and is frozen. she also faintly recognizes his friends because they are also a big part of the android revolution (or so she’s been told by her parents).

- after a beat of silence north says, ‘a human?’ in a rather disgusted tone.

- josh observes you and asks out loud, ‘how can a human be this far out of the city?’

- north: ‘maybe it escaped from it’s owner or something.’

- after observing you, markus reaches out to you (you are still frozen and too scared to move) and places his hand on the nape of your neck. he realizes you don’t have a chip installed there to tell him who your owner is. (let’s say every human at birth has a chip installed to their nape to identify them and their owner)

- markus informs the others that mc doesn’t have a chip which startles them.

- north: ‘wait..it’s a fucking wild?’

- josh: ‘how could it live this long on it’s own if it is a wild?’

- (markus had his eyes on you the whole time) he asks you if there are more of you in the forest and you slowly shake your head no. they all know you are lying though.

- north: ‘there are more like it in the forest..how come we didn’t know about this?’

- josh: ‘this is pretty bad..if there are more wilds out here hiding this could damage the trust we built with the others. everyone will be outraged if they find out we let wilds slip under our noses.’

- simon approaches you slowly and asks again if there are more people like you out there

- when you shake your head again markus holds your chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up so that you can look at him in the eyes.

- with a dark look in his eyes markus says, ‘don’t lie to us again kitten because i’m not in the mood to play nice. now, tell us the truth. are there more of you out there?’

- you are scared now and regret ever leaving the hideout. knowing it would be futile to lie again, you nod. (you are unable to say anything because your throat feels constricted).

- north: ‘where are they?’

- you don’t say anything because you don’t want to give your parents away. you continue to berate yourself for your stupid decisions.

- north sighs (clearly irritated by you not answering their questions immediately), ‘well? aren’t you going to speak? or can you not speak?’

- josh tries to calm north down, ‘intimidating it isn’t going to make it talk’

- north: why are you defending it? have you gone soft now?

- josh: [sighs] are we really going to do this? i’m just trying to tell you that yelling at it won’t get us anywhere-

- north: babying it isn’t getting us anywhere and i don’t see /you/ doing anything.

- simon steps in before the argument could get even more heated and pushes the two away from each other, “that’s enough. can you both not argue for once? now is not the time.”

- a little bit of pressure on your chin directs your attention from the two arguing to markus.

- markus: show us and i promise we won’t hurt you.

- mc thinks about this, ‘deal’ and realizes at that moment she doesn’t know what the hideout even looks like from the outside bcus she was so caught up on other things.

- mc makes a half baked plan to pretend to know where her hide out is, lead them, then find an opening to escape

- mc responds after a bit of pondering, (in a feeble voice), “okay.”

- north: [annoyed and slightly surprised] that’s it? that’s all it took?

- markus lets go of mc’s chin and gives mc a slight nod, telling her to show them the way

- before mc could take any step north butts in

- north: shouldn’t we restrain it first? tie it’s hands so it doesn’t do anything stupid?

- mc really dislikes north and is pretty scared of north out of all of them.

- markus notices your discomfort and shakes his head at north, “no. we don’t need to."

- north: [irritated] but she is a fucking wild- she’s dangerous-

- markus: [interrupts north + raises one of his hands up] i said, we don’t need to.

- north huffs in annoyance but doesn’t say anything else. part of you is satisfied by seeing north being put in her place.

- markus returns his attention to you and silently tells you w his eyes to lead the way.

- you turn your back towards markus and observe the vast amount of trees before you and walk in the direction you remember vaguely running from.