#ik its awkward for everyone at first but it really takes a lot for me to overcome it and i rarely do
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bsky is fun ig but it truly is like walking into an irl party where you dont Really know anyone and everyone already has their own little circles, like maybe this is just the "little kid who never Quite fit in at school" in me but even though my mutuals on there are really nice i cant spend more than 10 mins on that app without feeling bad
#obviously like. nobody is MAKING me have the app or be on there but ykwim#i just personally always feel on the back foot going into places with established dynamics like#ik its awkward for everyone at first but it really takes a lot for me to overcome it and i rarely do#i get the same thing in workplaces too its so evil#also the timezone thing doesnt help#but whatever like. idk. its nice and i like that i can see and share a lot of really cool art there#everyones so sweet there but i really just cant beat the Odd Kid Out allegations 😭#whatever. ill always have tumblr amen
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so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)
so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!
This won’t be the best character analysis
as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.
So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.
Things I’ll go over!
personality
looks
hobbies
past & current
relationship with family
relationship with friends
This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.
1 | personality
I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,
but making his entire personality music makes me so mad
most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens
he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11)
hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)
2 | looks
he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲
After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,
overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,
saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk
3 | hobbies
did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️
I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal
there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,
he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw
I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭
but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh
but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano
, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life
4 | Past & current
I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,
I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh
see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him
probably hates turtlenecks with his being
and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak.
I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say
“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.
It's said flat out in episode 27
That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.
5 | Relationship with family
Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance
now onto Lily
I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them
Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out
she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(
now Aiden
most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.
Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s
he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him
they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.
Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree
Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,
I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting
like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,
it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.
6 | Relationship with friends
he is definitely the therapist friend
He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it
his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,
they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao
his friendship with Taylor
I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip
his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered
and his friendship with Logan
it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests
and be absolute nerds together lmao
overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me
And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words
if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡
#school bus graveyard#ben clark#lilredbeany#aiden clark#sbg#tyler hernandez#taylor hernandez#ashlyn banner#lily clark#sbg (webtoon)#logan fields#character analysis#if you can call it that#please don't murder me#i spoke my ben truth#thank you twt moots for hypeing me up#i need to sleep#the last part was half assed im sorry#idk what to tag#school bus graveyard (webtoon)
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Luxiem when you propose first! 💍
cw: suggestive in vox and ike's. not proofread
notes: thank you so much anon!! i'm so nervous to post this so i really hope this is up to your expectations! so sorry it took so long to make but i actually had a lot of fun! 🩷
Vox Akuma -
• Vox is a pretty traditional man so i think he'd be a bit bummed at first
• of course he'd say yes
• would probably still propose to you anyway
• he might even try to "1 up" you lol
• you mightve done it at a resturant but nonono he planned for weeks to get something "better"
• he ended up popping the question to you where he first asked you on a date
• he'd ask the other luxiem members to help set up the area with flower petals and candles/whatever you fancy
• VERY CLICHE.
• he does the cheesy prep talk before he finally pops the question
• "would you, (first and last name) make me, Vox Akuma the luckiest demon on earth and join me in ruling my clan?"
• afterwards he'd totally rizz you up to make you forget he just "beat you" in a fake competetion
• after BOTH proposals you know what happens ;)
• in the end he would happily say yes but be very flustered as he didnt expect you to be the one to do so.
• the fact that you proposed first was both hot AND sweet
• he'd still want to give his go at a proposal too though :)
Mysta Rias -
• This boy- man would SCREAM
• he'd be hella surprised
• after he asesses the situation i think he'd do that cringy white girl thing
• "OH EM GEE!! NO YOU DIDN'T! YES IF COURSE I WILL BABE!" while jumping and fanning his face with his hands
• after the jokes he'd say yes genuinely and kiss you happily
• "ah babeeee in so surprised but..im so happy" with his sheepish giggle
• would give you the BIGGEST HUG ™
• since you asked him he'd treat you to dinner that night
• "its on me loves..gotta treat my future wife don't i?~"
• wouldnt. stop. talking. about. it. all. week.
• he might cry a bit but he would hide it for sure. maybe only a tear or two would come out
• would be soooo clingy the rest of the day/night
• "can we shower together??"
• in the end he wouldnt mind all that much..hes just sooo excited to get to marry you!!
Luca Kaneshiro -
• you decided that day was THE day...but..so did he..
• oops! you both proposed the same day!
• of course the 3 year anniversary would he perfect!! why wouldnt he think of the possibility that you'd do it?!
• when you get on 1 knee he'd look around with a shocked expression and would give his awkward laugh
• "WHAT?!"
• after your speech he got down on HIS knee ans then proposed to you..at eye level since you were still kneeling
• everyone around was shocked. the other luxiem members aw-ing and laughing
• another loud one
• he'd call back home, YOUR mom, the waiters and waitresses, the lucubs...EVERYONE
• would also be clingy af
• couldnt look you in the face from pure shyness but you caught him staring at you multiple times
• he wouldnt stop praising you for your proposal
• "omg that was so good baby i loved it!!"
• never lets go of you, your arms and hands are ALWAYS intertwined
• gets jealous and possessive easily
• he'd pull you away from everyone..mainly the other guys
• "excuse you IKE. my FIANCE is BUSY with ME." while dragging you toward him and pouting
• no one is ever letting you guys live this down
Ike Eveland -
• he already was calling you his fiance/wife/husband before any of this
• he panicked
• after your proposal he pulled you into a quieter place frantically without answering
• everyone thought it went bad and they all were upset
• you finally saw how red he was and he apologized and wanted to yell "YES" in your face..but he didnt
• "y-yes..i'd love to marry you min kärlek."
• wouldnt let go of your hand
• makes sure YOU put the ring on his hand, not him
• when you guys come back out hes holding your hand timidly, making sure to show off the ring
• "GUYSSSS STAWPPP" when everyone cheers
• takes you to your favorite place afterward for food and then books a 5 star hotel
• "come on darling...pack up your things! <3"
• lets just say...yall had a NIGHT
• tries his best to be romantic all night
• surprisingly can play it cool with you after the initial shock unlike luca
• while he might be internally freaking out he could calm you down and rizz you up so. easily.
• absolute baby boy ™
• so. SO. excited to start planning
• "so we can have half of the venue (your fav color) and the other half blue!! and omg i can have- and you can- and can we please-"
• basically very surprisee and panicked but once he gets you alone he very quickly gets insanely excited
Shu Yamino -
• he already knew
• was very nervous and wary around you often since he didnt know when but he knew you would yk?
• of course he didnt say anything, he didnt wanna ruin it
• actually he didnt even tell you he knew
• was actually caught off gaurd when you did it at first
• the rest of the proposal though he was able to keep it cool
• he actually bought you a ring and flowers in preperation
• "i would..love to marry you" as he grabs your hand and slips on your ring while you slip his on
• "ah..ive been waiting for this..im so happy"
• only tells close people such as family, luxiem, and manager-san
• asks staff-san for a week off that same day for a pre-wedding honeymoon
• gets shy whenever you call him your fiance/husband and vise versa
• he adores you and is clearly SO excited
• you caught him searching for weddingspo one night when he was supposed to be working
• buys new flowers every week until the day of the wedding
• lowkey had a dream about it and it made him giddy all day when he woke up
#niji en#ike eveland#luca kaneshiro#luxiem#mysta rias#nijisanji en#shu yamino#vox akuma#nijisanji#luxiem x reader#luxiem x you#fanfiction#fanfic#headcannons#marraige#JanesShitposting
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i hope ur feeling better. ik its hard that we live in such a shitty society and ik exactly how u feel. ive also never landed a job, cant drive, and barely have any kind of life experience at the old age of 25. please dont value urself based on what you can or cant provide for the shitty capitalist system, u are so much more than that. i may not know u personally but weve been mutuals forever and uve always remained such a sweet, empathetic person with an interesting character and i just have so many hopes for u. it doesnt matter if ur behind in life compared to your peers, its unrealistic to expect everyone to fit into a restrictive mold. i could go on and on about this but my point is: dont allow someone to dehumanize or lessen ur worth because of conditions out of ur control. u dont deserve that, no one deserves that. if u need resources on how to help urself id be more than happy to help, but i also dont want to intrude too much. and i hope to god tumblr doesnt cut off this ask i have no idea how many characters are allowed
thank you that means a lot.. its validating being reminded im not alone, i think part of what makes it so painful is the feeling that i am failing uniquely. or that im the only person in this sort of situation
it feels dificult to get out of the trap of self-sabotage. it's like any time i make some sort of progress, like leaving the house more (last year i was going on walks a lot, and me and my mom were going to the park every once in a while), i eventuallt take 2 steps back and i ended up pushing people in my life away and making myself more isolated
i know that things would be easier if i had close friends my age that could help guide me, but it's like i unconsciously respond to that by making myself friendless/guide-less.. i dont know how to articulate this very well.. it feels increasingly more difficult to climb out of a hole the deeper that you are, and it's like there's part of you that just wants to dig deeper until theres no escape
i hvae really intense social anxiety and a fear of humiliation and i get very overwhelmed by it when im alone in public spaces or when i think about getting a job. i know its very exacerbated by the fear of the unknown since ive never done interviews or had a job before, i never even had a 'first time' experience and it makes it so much worse for someone with intense social anxiety
and theres also that feeling that i am intruding in someone elses spaces / lives or their friend-groups.. i always think—what if my coworkers dont like me or think im awkward? or what if i make things more difficult for them because i mess things up, or what if im a bad worker and people talk about me. and it gets harder the older i get.. how can i explain how clueless/backwards i am at 26 years old, it's not like im a 16 year old that people expect to not know what theyre doing, you know
#im just rambling im sorry#i am sending telepathic love to you thank you and i hope you also know that you arent alone
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about your thoughts on dating— first of all, I’m really glad you brought it up because I’m interested in seeing everyone’s perspectives. secondly, I was talking about emotional intelligence, vulnerability and the way men form emotional connections with my male friend the other day, and we really came to a similar conclusion as you mentioned: men are afraid of meant vulnerable and feel this pressure not to do so, which impacts their relationships. *however* he said that men are actually afraid of being vulnerable to women, because they feel like when they are, it harms that woman’s view of them and inevitably causes them to treat them differently (ie. they don’t like it). this is wildly different than my perspective on male vulnerability (me & most of the women I’ve spoken to generally view it as a positive thing). so I wonder where that discord comes from and why, despite generally being able to acknowledge this reluctance to be vulnerable (to both men and women), that nothing seems to be changing? (1/2)
secondly (this is a continuation of my previous ask hehe), I wanted to say that the expectations for dating and romantic “progress” is so real. I’m a 19 year old girl in Uni and my current romantic experiences (basically nonexistent) are at such odds w the experiences I grew up expecting to have had by now based on media. I think there is a lot of shame associated with not having “done” as much as the people around you, which i think is silly because love belongs to you and forcing experiences just for the sake of having them is not a vibe imo. I guess I’m trying to say that the point about pressure to be in certain places with relationships (e.g., feeling awkward about being single for a while) is so real. n e ways thanks for reading —ik that was a long ask— but I’m looking forward to what ur thoughts are on these general topics in ur substack!! 💘
omg you are so right about male emotional vulnerability and it really brings me back to a similar conversation i had with a male friend. he basically said the same thing your friend said, as in, (according to them) being emotionally vulnerable damages their perception in the eyes of the women they like (i.e. they become emasculated). but like you and majority of women male vulnerability is actually perceived positively by us cause it shows emotional intelligence (however men are still refusing to let old patriarchal ideals go)
i second what you say about romantic progress!!! and i honestly think its best to take your time when it comes to love, sex and relationships. whenever men tell me they lost their virginity at 14/15 im also like.... wow you were a victim! i honestly think that early exposure to sexual content desensitized them to what actually happens emotionally between two people when they have sex
love most definitely belongs to you! a beautiful way to put it. everybody's journey with love is unique and shouldn't be based a scale of what you "should have done"
thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me! i really appreciate it :) i have new insight on what to further write on for the substack! :3
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I dont have the energy to type but nico's more important so let's do this
- he has led lights in his room but like the soft fairy lights kind he likes the soft glow
- he likes jewellery for multiple reasons he like the jingle jangle he likes the feeling of the metal on his skin and he light the weight of it
- he doesnt like intense heat it feels too strong and oppressive
- he has a jacket that hazel decorated from him with different patches and paintings and every so often one of his friends will give him a cool pin for the jacket and its so full at this point
- stim toys are very Cool and he has a Lot of them
- when he gets back to camp post-boo he tries to look after himself and its a learning curve but hes pretty proud of himself for trying
- he and his friends mess around in parks grocery stores and they look very cool while doing it
- goth icon ik everyone says hes emo but no hes goth
- reyna is nico's one tall bestie idk i just had to point that out
- nico steals all of his friends clothes he likes stealing reyna's hoodies most cos theyre huge on him (only tall bestie, remember) and theyre very comfy
- hazel and nico are the type of people who can just vibe together in comfortable silence and its not awkward at all and theyre just chilling
- that being said they love to do stuff together
- they paint and draw together they dont take it tok seriously its all for fun
- a lot of said drawings and paintings are hung up on nico's wall and theres a lot of them the wall is covered
- hazel is also a goth icon so they go shopping together
- nico likes platforms they make him tall and theyre easier than heels
- Dionysus calling nico by his first name and literally no-one else is trans rights i will stand by this
- nico simply does not vibe with gender his gender is chipped black nail polish none of this "girl" "boy" business
- he/him pronouns but in an unmistakably un-male way
- he has so much to say mention one of his favourite things and he could literally talk for hours
- the first time he infodumped to hazel and she actually listened he cried it just felt so nice to actually be paid attention to for once
- stargazing is really calming for him no monsters no fighting no problems just pretty sky lights
And thats all ive got! <3
Anon those r so good I’m crying!!! Yeah Nico loves Hazel sm!!!!! Siblings!!!! And Mr. D known trans ally
Send me your thoughts/hcs/ect
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huh, that's new
a social media au
[27: news]
warnings: language, "pregnancy"?? uhh idk what else hehehe
a/n: this is a pretty long chapter i think? (2000+ words) im very nervous about this chapter cause its kinda a big deal asdfghjk anyways, please please please tell me what you think about this! and ik this idea is very odd HAHAHAHA but what else would you expect from two dumbasses named bucky and y/n? hehehe i really hope you enjoy this chapter!! ♡
flashback is italicized
huh, that's new - masterlist
You wanted to laugh so badly.
For some reason, your housemates are panicking over who the hell set this gender reveal party up in the living room.
It was you. With the help of Bucky of course.
Natasha and Wanda have been shouting “I’m not pregnant, I think you are!” to each other for about 10 minutes now. Steve decided that he needed answers too, so he joined in the shouting. Pietro’s talking to his camera, probably vlogging the whole thing. Peter’s talking on the phone with MJ asking if she set this up. Sam’s the only one enjoying the food. Bucky was looking at you from across the room, keeping the smile from forming on his face.
Just about an hour or so ago, you and Bucky were just setting the whole thing up. Bucky was pushing the table to the living room when you arrived with the cake. You placed the rest of the blue and pink food on the table along with other decorations. There were many variations of food, but the cupcakes that have toppers that said: “Here for the Sex” were Bucky’s personal favorite despite not knowing how they taste. The balloons were still lifeless when both of you hung the streamers on the walls with the banner that matched the topper of the cupcakes. After finally finding the balloon pump, blue and pink balloons filled the living room. Some were on the floor while you hung the others on the wall. When you were content with the appearance of the room, you and Bucky went your separate ways.
You got the idea of throwing a gender reveal party when you were working at the diner one evening. “You’ll be at the gender reveal party next week right?” the woman at the booth asked her friend. “Of course, Jill asked me to pick up the cake,” Her friend says. When you got the idea, you thought it was silly, so you dismissed it. Later on, you thought of more ideas and details to add, then in a blink of an eye, you were in the bakery, asking the baker if they can make a three-layered cake of your favorite flavor with the inside colored blue.
“Maybe P set this all up for a prank again?” Nat looked at Pietro who was filming the whole thing. “Just because I have a channel that doesn’t mean I always prank!” Pietro said, turning off his camera.
Steve sighed, “Okay, one by one. Nat and I were the first ones here, but it was all here already when we arrived. Wanda was the next one here, she was in the bookstore the whole morning. Bucky and Sam were next and they only came here because he saw the Instagram story of Nat. Pietro and Peter came home today from LA and Peter from Tony’s. Lastly, Y/N came home from the cafe,” everyone nodded.
After a couple of minutes of silence, you couldn’t handle it anymore, “Okay, I can’t do it. I give up. It was me. I set this up,” you laughed.
“But why Y/N?” Peter gasped, “Are you pregnant?”
Everyone’s eyes were on you now. Natasha’s eyes widened, “Wait, who’s the father?”
Bucky was laughing internally, you could tell. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, he turned around to look at the window. You could see his shoulders slightly shaking, he’s definitely laughing. Good thing the attention wasn’t on him. “I uhh… I don’t know,” you said. You technically haven't met Bucky's dad, you were being honest.
“Doesn’t matter, my sweet Y/N! We’ll support you and help you. Anything you need” Sam swallowed the macaroon whole before going to you and hugging you tightly.
“I know you will.” In less than a minute, you were trapped in the middle of the group hug.
“Why didn’t you say anything sooner? We would’ve known the gender by now!” Pietro said as the group untangled from the hug.
You laughed, “I was enjoying the show.”
“Well, come on! I wanna know if my godchild is a boy or a girl!” Wanda yelled excitedly and went to the kitchen to grab the knife.
Bucky walked towards you before you could join the others who are now gathered at the table, waiting for plates and the knife. “I’m tellin’ ya, doll, they’re gonna be frustrated at us,” he said. You shrugged, “They already are.”
Wanda handed you the knife to cut the cake. Everyone took out their phones to take a video of the “soon-to-be-mother”. You were trying very hard not to laugh at this point and so was Bucky, who was taking a video of his friends’ reactions to what they’re about to say.
You sliced a triangle on one side of the cake and pulled it out, showing blue. “Oh my God! It’s a boy!” Peter yelled, jumping around with Pietro. Sam and Steve took turns hugging you and they were later pushed aside by Wanda and Nat. “I’m happy for you, hun I am, but I really hope that a girl comes out of you,” Natasha said while hugging you and Wanda tightly.
You cleared your throat, catching everyone’s attention, “It’s actually a Bucky” you said, nonchalantly.
“Bucky?” Wanda pulled away slightly from the hug, making Nat do the same. “A Bucky? As in it’s Bucky’s baby?” Steve asked, wide-eyed, obviously excited, looking at Bucky who is now looking back at you, covering his mouth with his hands, to keep himself from laughing.
“I meannnnn… Bucky... is my... baby,” you said while extending your arm, inviting Bucky to come closer, which he did.
Peter was still confused and it shows, “You’re Bucky’s mom?” he asked, making Pietro smack his head, “Pete, it means they’re dating... Right?”
Both you and Bucky nodded, “We are.”
“Oh my God! Fucking finally! I was starting to think you’ll never tell each other how you feel! Do you know how frustrated you two made me?” Sam yelled, throwing a pillow at Bucky.
Natasha was yelling “I fucking knew it! I told you so!” repeatedly to her boyfriend while Wanda kept pinching both your and Bucky’s cheeks saying, “CUTIESSS!”
You looked at Bucky, “they don’t look frustrated” you said which made Bucky roll his eyes and smile. Both of you laughed when you saw Steve silently saying “Yes! My ship!” Either that or something about shit.
“Calm your asses. Now, this party isn’t just for us to announce that we’re together. This is also a party for Natty and Steve. Sorta like the part one of the roomies night we’re gonna have” you said, looking at the couple.
“Thank you, Y/N, but I don’t wanna think about moving right now. What I do want is for you two to give us the fucking details about how you two finally got together” Nat said, making everyone agree and sit down and get comfortable in the living room.
Bucky cleared his throat and looked on his left, where you sat. “It happened the night that her friend came to the city.”
☆
To say you were excited for tonight was an understatement.
Last night, you already picked out the clothes you wanted to wear tonight. It was simple, really, just a pair of jeans and the most comfortable hoodie you owned. Or should you go with a plain sweater instead? Printed shirt? Oversized shirt? Your grey sweatpants? They look comfortable. Or your black ones?
You ended up with your first choice.
Wanda and Nat noticed how upbeat and cheery you were the whole day. It wasn’t exactly like you to be this happy at 7 am. You cooked a lot more food than usual and you haven’t even had your coffee yet. “Maria’s in the city today!” was the only excuse you thought of every time they asked you. You had some errands to do that day, its something you find really boring and exhausting but you found yourself skipping to the bank. Skipping, not walking.
At the tower, Bucky was a nervous wreck. He couldn’t focus much on what he was doing. He would zone out and forget what he was typing, then he remembered he wasn’t typing at all, he was fixing a floor plan. Sam being Sam, noticed how Boinky was acting. He kept teasing Bucky about being distracted while Steve kept asking him to stop. “What’s up with you, Buck? What’s making you zone out?” Steve asked, giving Bucky some water. Bucky just shrugged and continued whatever the hell he was doing.
The evening came too fast for Bucky and too slow for you. You got home, got dressed to meet with Maria for dinner before seeing Bucky. When Bucky got home, he changed into something more casual and fixed himself at his bathroom. “Tell her tonight, you fucking idiot,” he told himself, looking at the mirror before grabbing his helmet and his old helmet that you proclaimed yours when you were hanging out before. He smiled at the memory then remembered that Dot never even got to see his motorcycle. Huh.
He picked you up at the hotel that Maria was staying at. In a few minutes, you were at the bar that you two used to go to. You two bought a couple of drinks before going to the spot - your spot. You almost forgot how beautiful it was there, especially at night.
“After tonight, you’ll only have one night of free drinks, use it wisely,” Bucky said, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, I’ll have to find another way to have free drinks from you,” you joked.
He looked at you, “You can just ask, you know? You don’t have to blackmail me,” he smiled.
You laughed for a moment and it became silent once again. It felt... awkward. You two were seated a couple of inches away from each other, the closest you two have been since you avoided each other, but you wanted to get away. You remembered the last time you were here, in this exact same spot. Drinking the alcohol of your choice, laughing with Bucky, talking about your high school selves. Many things have changed since then. It feels so weird and new to you, sitting next to someone you genuinely like, your friend. You took a deep breath and stopped thinking.
“I like you, did you know that?” you said out of the blue making Bucky wonder if he was just imagining it and he was just hearing things. He stayed silent, deciding that it was just his mind saying that cause that was what he wanted to hear.
You turned to Bucky, waiting for his reaction. Nothing. “Buck?” he turned and looked at you as if he hadn’t heard you. “I like you,” you said once again only this time, it was louder and clearer.
“You like me?” Bucky asked, finding it hard to believe for some reason. “Like, you like-like me?” You nodded, smiling at his creased eyebrows and slightly tilted face, like a confused puppy. You almost didn’t notice how your heart is beating quickly as if it wanted to jump out of your chest. It was taking Bucky too long to reply, and that made you anxious. All you wanted was to take it back and change what you said. You should’ve said “I’d really like to go back to being close friends” or maybe ask him why he avoided you or somethi--
“Did Wanton ask you to tell this to me?” he asked with an accusative tone. “No, why would I agree to that? Even if I did, I’d only agree to say something like that if I really meant it,” your voice getting louder every word.
“So it’s true? You like me? Romantic styles?” You nodded, slightly annoyed that he would think that you would play with his feelings. “Yes, it’s no big deal. I just wanted to tell you, I don’t expect you to like me back. I just- I want you to--”
"I like you too. Romantic styles," he said holding your hand. "That was why I set you up with Loki, why I avoided you after that and why I was avoiding you until you invited me to join you and Pietro. I kinda got a bit… slightly, sort of jealous so I agreed to go with you."
"Wait, hold on, you like me... and you... set me up with Loki? I don't get it"
"I like you and… That doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy, and I'll do anything to make you happy,” he said, offering you a small smile.
☆
"Then we kissed and… yeah,” you smiled at your friends’ faltered smiles.
Sam stood up, “Why was everything else so detailed and the kiss was just ‘then we kissed’? What’s that about?” He said, grabbing more food from the table. "And, I fucking told you so, Boinks!"
Bucky rolled his eyes, “Do you wanna hear how I kissed her softl-”
“Excuse me?” You said, raising your eyebrows at your boyfriend. “I kissed you, and it wasn’t soft”
“Y/N stop saying soft!” Peter shouted, covering his ears.
Wanda wiggled her eyebrows, "You didn't come home that night, hun."
"Yeah, I invited her to my place, we had some wine and we just talked for the rest of the night. Nothing happened. Okay? After talking we just slept. That's it,” Bucky defended.
Steve kept nodding his head, “Hence the Instagram story, mhmm, mhmm. Alright.”
“Whatever happened that night, I’m glad it did. And, I’m really really reallyyyyy happy for you, dumbasses,” Nat laughed.
Peter walked to you, “I’m happy for you too, sis. But please, don’t get detailed with… you know. I don’t need to know that.” You laughed, holding his hand. “And Bucky, if you ever hurt my sister, I’ll hunt you down and beat you up,” Peter looked at Bucky squinting his eyes, trying to look intimidating, which made Bucky laugh.
You looked at Bucky, “He’s serious. And very strong. He gave Steve bruises when they were boxing at the gym.” Bucky looked at Steve who was nodding.
“O-oh”
☆
taglist:
@intovert-gone-wild @jbb-bucky0310 @jessicakimba @mariachiii @essenceproxima @cazslaughter @eldahae @rororo06 @bonkyboinkybucky @a-hopeless-fan @danosaurushowell @hannibal-lecters-bitch @ceeellewrites @divainthesun @kseniiafirebrace @k-n-e @adriannajackson @connorhoez @fanfuckingtastic04 @cherthegoddess @captain-america5 @onlyjamesbuchananbarnes @writerwrites @lovinnholland @softboibarnes
#huh thats new#jbarness#bucky fic#bucky#bucky fluff#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky fanfic#sebastian x reader#sebastian#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan#sam wilson#steve rogers#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#winter soldier#parker reader#pietro maximoff#peter parker#bucky barnes x reader social media au#social media au
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YEAR END LOVE.
happy holidays and advance happy new year everyone!! this was supposed to be for christmas but.. yeah hope u had a great time w your loved ones <33 this is for my friends who helped me get thru shitty times, who made me laugh so hard, and made me feel appreciated :) to my mutuals, thank u for taking ur time to talk to me!! any interactions from u guys makes me so so happy <3 im proud of you for getting through this year!! this is gonna b a long one .. hehe <3 sorry if i didn't mention u!! i still love u :( this is in no particular order dw dw ily all d same
to my followers, mutuals, and people who likes my stuff in general ツ
AAAAAAA guys ily you rock !! thank u for supporting me and just being there for me (esp for the ones who listened and stayed w my shit !!) ty for liking, reblogging about my stuff, or just interacting w me!! pls pls talk to me let's have some good convo hehe i hope no one will send me or any blog hate bc that isn't cool >:( happiness and love only are allowed people!!!
@sunakissses ツ
my bestie, my bae, babe <3 you rock val if im honest :( even tho we haven't been friends for a long time, we just clicked !! and yeah talking to u is just makes me at ease n u have that comfy vibes :)) and our interactions r so funny and wholesome <33 i just love when im talking to ya you know :(( and idk i love ur supportive aura whenever i do something hehe :( lets keep going next year and be more closer >:) and yes u and suna r going to be the cat's first ever aunt and uncle <3
@romaune ツ
okay .. the literal meaning of sunshine, yes you gracie baby :( you're so wholesome i wanna cry thats me 2 u !! i love your aura and just everything, i get so excited when u reply to my asks fr, because ure so enthusiastic n i like that a lot !!! :( ik we don't talk a lot yet but from our interactions (or just us screamin abt our mans winks) i know i gained a friend, a good n funny friend for that:) and ure so like hinata i wanna squish and hug and talk to!! i love how we scream abt our ongoing suna brainrots HAHA can't forget that <33
@cryoqi ツ
people put ur hands up 4 the coolest person ive met !!!! >:( istg you're so kind and so funny even if thats not ur intention T_T at first i was intimidated by u but then yeah <33 we vibe :( only the real ones know abt us and me bein your bread anon <33 ure rlly great and can't forget d time us and dove sang thru texts ...? yes that i cried while laughing HAHA, and yes i love the way u write 2!! so you and just amazing overall :)) n yeah i like to talk to u a lot in the server !!! ure so funny & relatable at times hihi
@miyasangel ツ
arden bae !!! you're so ... cool and pretty and one of the people i want 2 talk to in here <3 you're like cool and the way you write is chefs kiss >:( and i love it whenever we talk abt random things AHSHS and when we talk abt atsumu <33 i love love that !! n yeah good thing i interacted w u b4 on ur old blog and get to talk to you more !!! i was so shy n nervous while sending you asks sometimes LMAO idk why :(( ure rlly a great friend <3 n i think u also became a factor on why im liking inarizaki :D
@cafemiya ツ
omg hail to issy !! i know we don't talk that much yet but i literally like u a lot >:( you're rlly great w your long fics !! n handmade heaven lead me to you and ur asks <3 and you're so chaotic too HAHA i like that :) dw ill always shower u w compliments bc u so deserve it bby !!! and i squeal sometimes when u reply to my asks w the same energy :(( n yes i just love you and your vibe in general <3 and im so excited 4 the collab !!! <3 thanks for reaching me out hehe or my slowburn fic journey wont happen :( anw ily and keep slayin issy baby!!!! :D
@kuro0luvr ツ
omg kieran .. the big phat supporter of chlojime is here people !!! <3 i just love loooove talking to you esp in the server & we scream abt anything n everything :( and thank u for always giving me support and everyone else when we're down!! you're one of my sunshines 2 :( i love how we just talk and instantly b close friends you know!! even tho we dont chat like in dms we r so close hehe :( and yes ill never forget how happy u got when i complimented that u have akaashi vibes <3 ty for being a good friend n supporter to me :(((
@oikawasbliss ツ
milo everyday !!! >:) i missed our interactions tbh :( you're just so chill n i vibe w u a lot!! your themes omg i want em its so aesthetic and everything <3 and uhm i love ur love for oikawa >< i mean who wouldn't but whenever i see smth kawa related i think of u immediately T_T and yes ure just so so cool :(( lets talk more soon gah and maybe talk abt aot hehe smirks <3 and yes i just like ur themes and vibe a lot <3 lets talk more soon gah >:)
@himichii ツ
I KNOW we didn't talk really like until few weeks ago but ... you're so funny and kind n lowkey sweet HAHA u were so intimidating before i can't talk 2 u <//3 but im glad i did !! not me writin this and listening to the playlist u made for me :( omg thank u for that and the other that u posted, i felt nostalgic and (good) sad on d inside <3 HAHS lets talk more omfg idk what 2 say :( OH oh ure a greatt writer :( the angst u sent yesterday made me sad gah <3 let's talk more in the new years!!! :(
@hajimine ツ
oml lexy bae where do i start??? omg ily like <3 because you're so nice n sweet n so funny 2!! glad i started participating in your ask games and on that we became friends hehe :( i love how we just talk abt anything on your asks <33 like ur life keeps me entertained HAHA and when u became more chaotic n all that .. i liked it!!! :( and oh u write so well if u didnt know >:( can't wait 4 more interactions w you bae !! <3 and ugh omg ily <3 literally cannot express how much :( you have good vibes n i wanna have that too !! and love how we just scream over one man ;D
@lcaita ツ
omg kai ... hi <3 HAHS sorry if im so awkward wtf but ure so cool and so funny !!! i like ur vibes always even tho ure not always around <3 and when youre around i just get happy !!! >< for some reason i love ur name hehe and uhm i love ur aesthetics hehe on ur acc !!! >:) and yes thank u for being a kind friend hehe :( lets talk more next yr abt anything!!! maybe abt ur mans (kaashi, semi, others) hehe ;)
@kemochie ツ
nea !!! i just . wanna say that you're a sweet human being :( and deserve the world :( ik we didnt interact much yet but !!! i love u already n your aura in general <3 and i just get soft on ur username for some reason T_T i love our little interactions from time 2 time n i wanna boost that more on the new years!! <3 idk i like u :( that's it thats my say :(
@nightmareupondaydream ツ
kana baby !!! im so grateful for u whenever u send me sweet words at random times ... and when i need it <3 and i missed our chats in dms :( lets do it again sometime !! im gonna be here for u okay :( and you're so sweet fr i love u,, and yeah just talkin about how shitty life is or how my writing goes, let's do that on the new years oki!! <3333
@ravscrii ツ
thank u for being there like really >< ik u have own probs to solve but you still helped me :( ty for being a great listener and supporter hehe <3 u deserve great things !!! and pls dw okay we're good even tho we arent talking that much :( i miss that hehe n ure a kind and funny person ASHS esp in the server ur replies n everything make me laugh :( lets talk more soon like the old times AAAAAA i miss it hehe <3 and goodluck on genshin HAHA pls entertain me w it even tho i don't play </3
@rintaroll ツ
olivia babe <3 omg i missed u sorry 4 not checking on u :( forgive me <//3 just wnna say u totally made my 2020 better n a little more bearable <3 i like ur vibes sm and ur name .. olivia wow i like it :( and oh you're so aesthetic like ur blog in general ??? hello pls step on me :( and u also influenced me (for some reason) to like tsumu more ?! which i dont mind at all .. i like it when we scream over tsumu or i tease u n him getting horknee :D yeah and god i can't forget the time we fangirled over gojo on ur asks ... and u sent me gojo gifs which made me scream <3 one of my unforgettable moments w ya!!
to my hajime anon + mod ツ
thank u for always being here :( and you just chatting w me makes me so happy <3 i hope you'll see this hehe and just thank u and ily yknow :( when im down or happy, or shitty you're just there, supporting me always <3 im so grateful for that!! and hajime anon mod ily :( thank u for taking ur time to chat w me and make me so happy hehe <3 take ur time okay :)
to my baby, stella ツ
AAAAAAA idk if you'll see this but shoot me an ask if u saw :( uhm i love ur vibes and you're so cool !! promise <3 and your theme changes r always so beautiful <3 pls pls i love you so much agh im so worried when u deactivated :( pls dont overwork okay whenever ure working :( i love talkin to u always in ur asks !!! ure so sweet and lovely grr >:( u deserve all d good things okay ily stel :((
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My Thoughts Rewatching TGWDLM and Black Friday:
*btw the section for tgwdlm is much shorter than the one for black friday because it’s less new so more people have already said almost all there is to say about it i guess*
The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: - in the first scene the same phone rings about 32/33 times wow (i counted) - when charlotte is talking about sam singing in the shower, let it out plays real quiet and it's cool - i’ve always wondered what emma was gonna say before join us and die, and to me it seemed like she was gonna talk about paul’s crush on her and maybe reject him (she was acting remorseful, like she was sorry for being about to hurt his feelings maybe), idk if anyone tweeted nick lang about this yet but i wanna know - emma seems to jinx herself every time she says "we made it" or along those lines, like in the helicopter she says "we got outta there!" and before inevitable she says "paul! we made it!" - fuck nora :)
***
Black Friday: - the sniggles deserve betterrrr also lauren sniggle <3 - mnfnmggghfht them <3 paulkinsss <3 - silent night playing while we enjoy paulkins - "oH SHIT A BABY" - emma has beanies shopping bags so she either still works there and brought snacks or she just went there with paul idk - paul like "it's christmas time in hatchetfield isn't that fun" and im having flashbacks - i love paul's awkwardness but emma, he's your boyfriend ok (ok? ok. ok.) - emma copying bae like - how does lauren turn into an entirely different person with emma and linda ik it's acting but I CAN'T ENVISION THEM TOGETHER AS THE SAME PERSON - if i think about videos and streams of lauren, it seems like emma's personality is kinda similar to lauren's own personality huh - i think this part with emma and paul is so funny not just cause them and their wonderful delivery but also cause the paulkins content is more condensed in smaller amounts of time since they aren't the protagonists anymore, so it's more funny at once, while tgwdlm is probably more funny in total but it's more spread out - i love emma’s adorable laugh snort thing when tom tells her about the surprise it's so lovable <3 - tom just getting in emma's face when he says "he was sledding. WITH HIS MOTHER" ;-; - they just sneak off while tom sings like - what if emma has a different hairstyle in each musical? anyway lauren is so pretty no matter what her hairstyle is but her hair looks even more amazing down in general, i should probably stop now or i'll keep rambling on about lauren - but like lauren and jon are so cool i'm just more attracted to lauren in general but they're probably my two favourite starkid and YES I AM BIASED, SO WHAT? - tom teleports to the parking lot of the mall during what tim wants - tom: what tim want? tim: JUST ASK ME WHAT I WANT - why does linda look over when sherman says "omg its becky barnes" like u just spoke to her and hate her guts lmao why do u care -adore me plays when linda belittles becky bout stanley -webby: hey hannah do the thing ethan's doing with his hands hannah: *does it and gets scolded* webby: *wHeEEeEzeee* - paul in wdywp "i want what everyone wants, money, a partner, kids someday, maybe.." and linda talking to wiley "i want what everyone wants, to be loved" - linda is holding one of her boots, why did one come off? the camera doesn't show below her waist while she's talking to wiley so idk - lauren lopez as jingle the elf doing a bugette voice is attractive as hell - tom: "i'd do anything for him" me: awwww thats sweet! tom: "even if it means pounding the guts outta some little twerp!" me: :/ - what would happen if tom managed to give the doll to tim? tom: take this doll son. tim: i don't want that lmao? tom: W-WHAT? tim: i want u but ur distant and sad now :c tom: :'o - sHE'S hEaVY! D: - do ya think it's a coincidence that wiley AND xander call the president the nickname howie? maybe xanders dead and this is a fake idk lol - the sniggles are still cute in made in america (especially lauren sniggle) and lauren looks so good with her hair like that actually her hair always looks good why DOES HER HAIR ALWAYS LOOK SO GOOD AND HER NOSE AND (this is just a rant about lauren now whoops) - at 1:42:55 when wiggly is talking to john the "look what happens nightmare time" riff (i think its a riff) plays hmmmmm; also someone else mentioned how the light in not your seed is green, so i think grace chasity (yeah apparently it’s chasity) is the connecting thread in all these things and since she is likely the protag in npmd its probably important. oh also maybe grace and jane are connected somehow? idk just trying to think of stuff that could be in npmd - when wiggly gasps after his hiccup laugh thing it's so uncomfortable and creepy i love it good job jon! - you have pOonies?? - i threw em in the FUCKING TRASH! - you killed the pOoNIES! -"she can go on her own" NO LEX HANNAH NEEDS YOU ;o; -lex: reach? like this? *gun flies towards her and smacks her in the nose* ARGH! - lex: patiently waiting for tom to finish singing - i remember something about either the song a meteor hits or just the wiggly jingle scratch track or something being to the tune of if i fail you, so thats cool - jon is so damn feral as gary and it's wonderful i'm having so much fun - gerald's such a good dramatic device - she's drunk AGAIN? what would you know about becky being drunk linda? im imagining drunk becky and linda talking in a bar idk how else linda would know about that eh - behold the wonderful shriek of lauren lopez - i can sing the range of adore me and califorMIA since im an alto and yet lauren can do her high octaves as well as my own comfotable octave she's just destroying the song wiggle and my belief in what singing ability i have with her TALENT!!! - *obnoxious laugh* bECkY BaRNeS! - lets just appreciate jon and lauren sneaking off stage and doing a quick change into their paul and emma outfits in like 40 SECONDS WHAT also everyone else saying their lines slower so they had more time to quick change - "taaahm?" (i love lauren's midwestern accent) - emma and tom never got to talk about jane :'( but also her grateful little smile when he says it and ghfighdfisdfskh emma and paul <3 - why does emma always want to go to hidgens tho lmao like how trustworthy is he really? aw but i guess emma doesn't have anyone else in hatchetfield except paul and jane's family :'( - PAUL SMILING AT EMMA TO COMFORT HER AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH (2:14:02) like i don't mind about how well lauren and jon know each other because their acting is so good that it gets me so invested in paulkins <333333333333333 - i wanna see the paulkins hug D:< i can just see emma in her cute ass bobble beanie hat thing coming over and then the camera pans away WHY - i love that at the end everyone's just squinting at the sky in confusion and paul's just doing a bug-eye face of shock like O-O - ok at the end of tgwdlm it was sad and scary that emma was still in character and screaming for help but i'm just imagining as everyone bows in a line emma just screaming and staggering around again even though this is black friday and it would be really weird but my brain's also weird - tim died alone in the car :( - fuck nora
#i'm sorry for this massive pile of word vomit#this really doesn't matter lol#tgwdlm#black friday musical#paulkins#starkid
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Comment that I’m proud from youtube on Akatsuki no Yona Chapter 201 part 3
there are many potential layers. maybe soo-won attacked on yona's birthday because if the country got any weaker then he knew the country would be attacked and it would be difficult to recover in time so he really had no choice. maybe he stalled that long because he didn't actually want to kill king il and hurt yona. maybe hejust waited that long so he could grow to a age of a potential reasonable adult age tha could be respected to some degree rather than a kid and because it took that long to gather support. maybe he wanted king Il to show he WAS a bad king so people would accept a change quicker.
Hak seems convinced that there were other routes. that king Il didn't have to die. We know weirdly soo-won never considered the marriage route with yona even though it was the most peaceful. maybe because he assumed king il doesn't;t like him or due to the connection to the guilt or retaliation at yona if killing yu-hon was discovered by soo-won or something from soo-won's point of view. maybe love just never occurred to soo-won as a route to take. Hak seems completely convinced that Soo-wonhad the ability to advise king Il or convince him about the affects on the rest of the kingdom. to persuade using King il's value of life. it not to go to wa but to find another alternatives for the land to prosper. Hak KNOWS how convcing and smart Soo-won is.....so I wonder if everyone thinks there was no other way....Hak ISN'T convinced there was no other way.
that Soo-won had the option to try to convince king Il but soo-won chose not to. decided to see what type of king, il would be on his own rather than help king Il prosper like yu-hon had wanted to do. that covolume 1 after killing the king and talking to yona about it...the look on his face when he killed Il. he told yona is was about revenge he told hak it was about needed a strong king for the country.....yona has grown more understanding and can relate to the good of the country part as she has faced the affects her dad's poor ruling has had on the people...but I wonder if Hak sees the 'for the country' factor as a bit of a cop out. its definitely not simple revenge as yona knows because soo-won could hold all that in for years and was watching to see if king il could be a good king......but I wonder if Hak will get to drive out the PERSONAL feeling that soo-won has always placed second...out of hiding.
if we'll see the person in that soo-won had the option to make king il a better king but soo-won didn't want to put effort in that route because he as personally still so angry at king il.e definily know king il was awkward and not a big fan of soo-won which feels unfair because soo-won did nothing wrong...but we also know king il chose not to kill soo-won. he chose not to condemn his brother for killing his wife or stope soo-won plan despite knowing the plan from yon-hi and knowing it would probably succeed according to kaashi. and he of course missed his brother. they didn't agree on a lot of thing but it was clear from the flashback hat king il still loved and respected his brother nd that killing him probably didn't help his awkwardness around soo-won. and knowing soo-won wouldn't put yona;s box up made i so the marriage route was never going to happen because it would make soo-won a good king but NOT a good husband to yona who il wanted to have someone to put up her box(Hak).
to soo-won he puts up kouka ALWAYS. the people who follow his dad and put their eggs in soo-won' basket he puts above his own wants and desires as we know what he really wants deep down as a person are his precious hak and yona by his side. but he threw those boxes away even though it hurt him as a person the most to be the king kouka needs....but I wonder if there was a under currant of his personal box of rage he couldn't put away toward king il. so he didn't consider other options. like how soo-won didn't le himself consider yona's peace talk with kourien idea until she cornered him to force him to understand it WAS a real option after he rejected it at first.
I can't help but wonder if king il also didn't try to make things better with soo-won because he knew no matter what that he would fail as king and soo-won was destined to kill him. it it might have ben done so it would hurt soo-won less to kill l him. king il out of everyone we have seen only kill ONE person. the person who killed his wife. his respected brother. the man who burned innocents alive. a loving husband and father. and he was super affected by it and hated the feeling or the idea of others have to experience that...but he didn't stop soo-won from experiencing it.
soo-wn seems to have all these broad ideas bit he fails to notice maybe a better idea could be a peaceful one.
ike kidnapping the king? make king il abdicate to soo-won or retire? advise the king? fake king il's death? convince yona to convince the king?
everyone is convinced it was the only way but I like hak not buying that yet. two wrongs don't equal a right after all.
and I like yona not quite able to talk to hak in detail about it yet because her instinct is to explain soo-won to hak but she knows Hak can't reach his peace with soo-won using the method she used to handle being around soo-won because hak puts his precious things first. hak after all got more and more precious people he cared about personally over the journey til it collimated with him protecting his county and the soldiers by his sides in the battle to get yona and the dragons back. having so much to protect he couldn't hold them all in his hands anymore. yona, the dragons, the windtribe, lili, others from other countries like the cat guy. the fire tribe with tae-jun who is also a better guy now...its a interesting opposite situation because soo-won is protecting the country even if it means hurting himself and the people he personally loves and cares about and respects the most on a personal level.
we also know hak can rlate to that feeling of rage that soo-wn felt so I wonder if that'll be used.
th most interesting thing for me is to think about how soo-won will feel because kyk-sook anf his guard let hak get close and tried to kill him without informing soo-won..
I'm mixed on if I want yona showing up and getting them to agree to send hak to the front lines so he won't be executed to be on her because its badass and I love it and I like her getting one over kyk-sook....but I have this niggling feeling they fell into kyk-sook's trap to get hak to fight for the kingdom and soo-won and keeping him away from soo-won.
it was a damn good cry though XD and Hak has this new trend of kissing her while she is talking XD though if they don't stop this warit does raise questions if he will live.... but I wonder if the dragons will follow hak into the war...after all yona collected them to protect hak in particular. nd soo-won has mostly been letting kyk-sook run the show for a while
#akatsuki no yona#soo-won#hak#yona#king il#kaashi#kye-sook#dragons#kouka#akatsuki no yona chapter 201
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Hi there! I hope matchups are still open and if they are could I get a bnha matchup?
I'm a 16 year old pansexual female. My personality type ENFJ. I enjoy watching anime, reading and writing as well as cosplay. I tend to try to stay positive at all times and I'm always there for my friends and family. I think of myself as smart, kind and a bit emotional. My mom has always called me her freedom fighter ever since I was little because I stand up to others who are violating a person's basic rights. I'm not afraid to stand up for others but when it comes to myself I tend to just stay quiet. I have shoulder length dark brown hair, icy blue eyes and glasses. I tend to have a way with animals, specifically horses since I use to do equestrian riding.
Anyways I hope this is enough info. Please stay safe💜💜
first of all, thanks a bunch for requesting, and i hope youre staying safe too! SECOND OF ALL!!! this didnt take any thought, oh my gosh, no contest, everyone else go home, there’s no one better for you than...
Izuku Midoriya!
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
Smart? Check! Anime lover? Check! Kind and sensitive? Checkamundo! Fights for others? Check check check; ik I’m the one saying this but this was also what was running through Izuku when y’all first met. He didn’t know what to do with himself you were so amazing in his eyes, which just made him all the more flustered and blushy and all the more cute! Thankfully your extroverted tendencies more than made up for his awkwardness.
Though he’d be nervous and stuttering around you a lot in the beginning, but the thing that shocked him into action to make you his was when you stood up to Bakugo. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d gotten into someone’s face about something by far, and so it wasn’t the first time you said something either, but for the most part it had been civil back-and-forth’s of you telling him not to do it again and him grumbling off somewhere else. This time, though, Bakugo’d cut deep and though he denies it now, you could see Izuku on the verge of tears and you just went off.
No one had seen anyone yell back at Bakugo before, and you’d honestly been the first to call him out in full, on how despicable he was for lashing out at others at the slightest offense to make himself feel better. Everyone was stunned into silence, even him, but you weren’t even fazed. And at the end of your (quite articulate btw, your syntax really drove it home 10/10) tirade, you pulled Izuku aside, checking him over and comforting him and admittedly rambling a bit with your emotions in overdrive at the time. Your speech stopped in its tracks when he grasped your hands with his scarred palms, more calm than you’d ever seen him around you, before pulling you in the tightest hug he could muster. When he pulled away to match your piercing teary eyes with his own wet pair he confessed to you then and there.
I don’t wanna oversell it but it’s not even overselling, you guys are legitimately the ideal couple. You’ll go to conventions in matching cosplay while he fanboys over all the hero merch, see romantic movies and cry your eyes out together, and eat in every kind of creature café Japan has to offer while you both fawn over the animals and fawn over each other. Also he totally supports your sexuality, and would be more than happy to go to pride with you if that’s your thing (honestly i could see it being a whole class outing but that’s a story for another day)! Anyway remember to invite me to the wedding <3
#order up: red velvet truffle!#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bnha matchup#mha matchup#anime matchup#mha x reader#bnha x reader#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#midoriya mha#midoriya bnha
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ASOUE AU? ASOUE AU. Pt 1 (Characters)
Okay so I just posted a little doodle I did for an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that I had been thinking about ever since I realized that Esmé was obviously Magica's VA (which was 3 days ago so oop). I don't have all the characters figured out right now (mostly bc quite frankly there aren't really enough adults that act so... neglectful towards the kids in ducktales). I'll list the ones I am pretty concrete on VS the ones I'm unsure or ones that I "reimagined" due to not everyone fitting perfectly in this world.
Characters that are Definite:
Glomgold as Count Olaf: Think about it, horrible actor/cosplayer (yes thats what he is). Both obsessed about riches, revenge and are generally incompetent. Really, Olaf is much more wicked in the ASOUE series imo (bc even tho Glomgold wants to kill Scrooge and steal his money. This anger only extends his wards if he wishes to use them against Scrooge and is less keen on the murdering of kids. Notice I said LESS). Not 100% if I want him to be as...well explicit as Olaf can be at times. Especially his characterization in the Bad Beginning if you know what I mean (pst it's child marriage)
Magicia DeSpell as Esmé Squalor: Like I said, this is a no brainer. She has the stage performance of Magicia with a bit of Mark Beaks Mom (forget her name) mixed in. Probably would downplay her love for fashion and replace it with an obsession with the occult. I would also not have her be obsessed with Glomgold, its more in character for Glomgold to be obsessed with her anyhow. It is also possible bc I tend to believe she is a more compelling villian in canon that she might take the place of Glomgold on the Island in "The End". But I also plan for Scrooges Number One Dime to replace the Sugar bowl so, maybe not.
Doofus Drake as Calmanita Splats: Duh, spoiled brat who is very creepy and probably has parents that want them dead? Instead of wanting to sing all the time he mainly wants to wreak things/people. He still definitely dresses up tho into a hodgepodge of things. It always changes and Glomgold is always annoyed by this but he likes him more than Magicia. She definitely wants him dead just like Olaf in the series (she really hates kids).
Duckworth as Larry your waiter: Yeah not much competition for this role. It was either him or Launchpad. Duckworth is too perfect for this role and he honestly will play a better spy than canon Larry. If I ever write it out a lot of the "fight scenes" and anime-esque "explaining how I fooled you" dialogue will definitely be reworked but still present. I will however not keep out the main theme of neglect or ignorance with the adults, they will still fail in that regard as always but will just not literally stand there and tell Olaf "We finally caught you, now let me explain why we are so smart oh no you set something on fire again". I mean...maybe for a Mr. Poe but not the VFD. Or...SHUSH I should say but more on that later (or in another post who knows?)
Scrooge McDuck as Lemony Snicket (sorta): Okay so OBVIOUSLY we can't have our "Lemony" have the hots for the McDuck siblings mom (yes another thing I must explain oh boy). Scrooge will still be gilted in love by, of course Goldie though I am still not 100% if she should play part of the the role of Kit Snicket (again NOT related to Scrooge) or should she be someone else entirely. Scrooge is basically the reason everything is happening in this AU just like the canon Lemony but writes sad letters to Donald and Della as well as Goldie. As you might of well guessed, Scrooge's Fortune is also the riches the McDuck's have.
Fethry Duck as Dr. Monty: Of course a snake lover will become a marine lover in this AU! Also of COURSE Mitzy will play the roles of the incredibly deadly viper AND the great unknown! Fethry and Dr. Monty not being mentioned by their family but also too enthralled with their studies to care all that much (but seriously thats fucked up ducktales). Totally made for this role. As far as setting goes this will be where the siblings will be underwater first but since the series already has plently of aquatic locals I will probably swap out the Lake Lacamose story with Peru or the Galapagos. Speaking of...
Ms. Quackfaster as Aunt Josephine: For narrative purposes it would make sense that Ms. Quackfaster would lose her edge as a brave and bold woman. For what exact reason I am still trying to figure out. Not sure if I still want to keep the "Ike" storyline, maybe she just got really spooked by FOWL. Maybe some creature from the Galapagos ate her leg or something.
Ma Beagle as Dr. Orwell: This particular role was sort of hard for me to cast due to the fact that Dr. Orwell is older and romantically involved with Olaf (at least its sorta there). I really didn't want to give this role to Owlson bc other than she isn't a bad person, she is also way too young. Ma Beagle already has a similar motivation im canon to want to reclaim Duckburg as Beagleburg so the Terrible Mills plot to frame the B for causing a fire in order to have control over the mill is very in line with Ma. I originally wanted the Beagle Boys be working in the Mill but since I am changing the setting to Egypt, I decided to use the people stuck in the pyrimid (idk what they are actually called) and will either use Amulet, Launchpad or Dijin as Cookie
Characters that are Mixed with others:
Huey Duck as the Narrative Role of Violet B.: I mostly imagined(?) the kid characters in a approximation of set characters from the books/series. For this reason, Huey plays the ROLE of Violet Baudelaire so that he can take the "inventor" occupation. I went back and forth on finding who would have Violet's quirk of using an object to help her think. My mind originally went to Webby since she has a bow and I wanted Huey's obsession with the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations to take the place of his JWG. However I reworked it so that Huey's JWG would act as Violet's ribbon with him having to flip through his beat up (and slightly burnt) journal to find a quick solution or just to calm his nerves. Something that applies to all the triplets and twins is that their last names are changed to "McDuck" mostly bc it sounds better that they are later called the "McDuck Murders" instead of the "Duck Murders" as well as Scrooges edited role in the kids lives. He has a mix of Klaus' social awkwardness and habit of talking at length about his special interests to whoever will listen. Huey is also the one who gets hypnotized in the Miserable Mill ep.
Louie Duck as the Narrative Role of Sunny B.: Pretty sure I swapped Louie and Webby for this role in my first post but whatever. I wanted to confusingly change Klaus' role into a "Charmer" or "smooth talker" (obviously still a work in progress) since I felt that Huey in DuckTales canon was always well researched as well a good mechanic and having two characters who pretty much fit the same role was... redundant. I also wanted to really make Webby's Sunny much more inline with her notorious/abnormal fighting abilities. However, I realized that instead of changing Klaus' role I should just change Sunny's characterization since I would have to rework it anyways since she was a baby. I also got the idea from recently rewatching the series and saw Sunny basically trick her way out of being trapped with the Hook handed man (i.e. Fernald). I will instead make Louie's role as what he functionally is in DuckTales (the guy who can talk his way out of anything). He would probably also say his occupation is "Defense Attorney" or something along those lines. He is also the one who gets captured the most but not by much. However while he still has Sunny's sarcasm, he also has Klaus' inherit skeptism and distrust of adults.
Webby Vanderquack as the Narrative Role of Klaus B.: Like I said in Louie's segment, Webby is changed to Klaus or more accurately the "Researcher" of the group. She is often the one who stays up late, researching ways to get out of Glomgold's schemes. Unlike Klaus though, she has more of the optimism of Violet but might not put as much belief into all authority as Huey might. She still has role models that she looks up to but isn't against bending the rules. She also unfortunately takes Violet's role of becoming "Olaf's bride" in the Bad Beginning. In the story she has always lived with the McDucks but didn't take their name and still had Mrs. B (until she was around 10, she was 12ish when the fire happened). However, she is still in the McDuck Will and therefore Glomgold hatches a plan to use her to get the fortune. She also tricks him by signing her name "Vanderduck" or "McDuck" instead of Vanderquack to make the marriage null in void. She is also a mix of Sunny since she is generally the most physically capable out of the children.
Dewey Duck as the Narrative Role as Quigley Quagmire: Okay honestly after a rewatch, I don't exactly know what makes Duncan and Quigley that different from each other. I'm pretty sure Duncan is the Klaus of his siblings but whatever. Dewey mostly just 1/2 of the reveal that two people survived the fire during the Carnival segment (which is changed to an underground wrestling theme for reasons to be explained). I am fairly certain that during the last part of the Village of Fowl Devotees I want Dewey be the one left behind with Webby and Lena that way we can have more time spent with him and Weblena/ Magicia v Lena drama. Dewey's occupation would be "Comedian/Host/Actor" . He also is the one the adults ignore during the first half and will be the subject of Triplet/only child jokes that the Quagmires face.
Gosalyn Mallard as the Narrative Role of Duncan Quagmire: Okay so like, no she isn't related or adopted by the Quagmires
Lena Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Isadora Quagmire: c'mon both these kids like poetry. Literally I can think of no other DuckTales kid that likes that (other than Webby but that was more of her liking Lena's stuff). She will still have her background as Magica's niece and might take some of the role of Fernald where he gets redeemed by betraying Olaf/saving Sunny. I am unsure by what extent though as she isn't going to be a henchperson of Glomgold or Magica. It might be that she is uses morally questionable ways to get what she wants/needs. Maybe she is "good" but has to commit a terrible act similar to how the Baudelaires have to burn down the carnival.
Characters that I am uncertain about or straight up don't have someone in that role:
Violet Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Fiona Widdershins: Like Fiona, Violet was also originally distrusted by a part of the cast (in this AU, it probably be Webby and/or Louie as Huey catches feelings lol). She is also obsessed with the occult not fungus and has to save probably Louie from losing his soul or something (wip). Violet more than any of the main cast of kids will probably act more like her canon self since she is naturally straight forward and booksmart. She probably gets forced to stay with Glomgold until her and Lena can escape again. Also since I didn't want it to be another underwater local and wanted it to relate to DuckTales17 a bit more closely I thought it be better if they were in the sky. Maybe Violet got the Sun chaser or maybe even the Spear of Selene. Maybe instead of going to look for their dads (since they are dead oof) they come back at The End to tell the McDuck Siblings et all that they might of found something...or someone important.
Boyd as the Narrative Role of Friday: This is definitely more of a stretch as really he is only Friday because in role only because I want him at the Island at The End so that he can save the siblings from whatever organic incident happens since he is still an android. I previously thought he could also fit the role of Fernald since he could go through a redemption arc easier due to him sorta going through one in the show. Its not out of the realm of possibility that Glomgold could have reprogrammed him to obey him (he might still do something similar I haven't figured it out 100%).
Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the narrative role of Hector: He probably won't faint as much as Hector but he will have to be pushed by the kids to be confident in himself during the Vile Village (which will probably change to a Capital city since I plan to rework FOWL into this). Maybe its similar to a military academy which makes having a set of rules make sense. Its also possible that Fenton escapes with some of the kids in the Sunchaser by the end of this.
Steelbeak as the Narrative Role of Fernald Widdershins: I mainly chose him because Steelbeak and Hookhanded man both most clearly are shown to be sympathic antagonists. They are still functionally villians, much more so than any of the children like Boyd or Lena who, yeah, have done bad things but in one case wasn't given the freewill to decide for himself or was but when she decided to stand up for herself she was literally tortured and had her freedom taken away (more so than in the beginning since. Steelbeak would, like Fernald, be making a choice as an adult man to be apart of a mad man's troop and was harden enough to commit murder if it meant he could impress his boss. But because he is not related to (by blood or otherwise) any protagonist I struggle to know where to put him. I might still have him defect during the end of what would have been the Grim Grotto ep and comes back with the Saberwings at The End. Maybe he brings Gosalyn back after finding her at some point, maybe he dies somewhere towards The End. Not sure.
Gladstone/Ghost of Christmas Past/News Reporter Lady as the Narrative Role of Mr. Poe/Mr. Poes Wife: wow this one is really confusing. My reasoning behind these picks is because The News lady would be a great pick for Mr. Poe's wife or at least a substitute as she has similar motivations in DT17. The biggest set back for her tho is that she has no reason to be on the Baudelaire case (or McDuck case anyways). Ghost of Christmas past is a bit of a stretch since why the fuck would he be in charge of making sure the kids had guardians? I mainly want him just bc of his motivation (or lack thereof) to do his job and being incompetent at it. Gladstone while making some sense that he also would be uncaring about where the kids go is also a stretch given he is a relative and he while he might not care 100% about their whereabouts he wouldn't lose them like Mr. Poe would simply bc he is so damn Lucky. Its possible to work that against him, maybe in a scenerios like where he drops off the kids but gets whisked away because some rando gifts him a boat. Still unsure.
Mrs. Beakley as either the Narrative Role of Jaclyn S (Mr. Poes Secretary/VFD spy)., Olivia C. (Librarian): I want Mrs. B to have a role which fits her being experienced and competent but also met a tragic demise. I might mix the experience of JS with the fate of OC. Poor Webby.
Justice Strauss as ???: I'll be honest, I am stumped with this one. This is a very important role to fill and I can't quite find an adult character that fits the bill of Justice Strauss. Mrs. B is too smart, Launchpad studying law while ridiculous, is something inline with the show but he doesn't have a DT17 motivation similar enough to Strauss where he's desires can be exploited nor has he really want kids in the same sense as Strauss. Drake Mallard is close since he is an actor but having him work with law is a bit of a stretch, I also think that making him somewhat bumbling is an insult to his character but Strauss is tragic since she WANTS to very much be the Baudelaires guardian but fails so much. Maybe in a safer world she could have been, maybe if they were luckier. She loves them so much, but they run away where she can't find them to at least try to be there for them and is left heart broken by the end. Whoever becomes JS is in for a world of hurt and I'm sorry. Goofy could also be a replacement, maybe Max died for more angst 😬.
Goldie or Daisy as the narrative role of Kit Snicket: This kinda gets really fanfic-y as neither of these characters really fit nicely into this role. Goldie definitely has the skill of Kit and her disregard for the rules but the pregnancy thing is... something. Not entirely sure if I actually want her to be pregnant but I also want a Beatrice II type character (of course she would be named Della II) but again very fanfic-y. Daisy I am more comfortable being the one who gets pregnant, she might take Olivias role as the new VFD recruit instead of Kits more seasoned one. All I know is that if either or both outcomes exist they will die also a Dewey Deanumont(?) Character wouldn't be the father it would of course be Donald or Scrooge depending who gets pregnant.
Jacques Snicket as ???: Another mystery for me. Functionally? Maybe Manny could play this role or even Launchpad (he really is just my go to for any character idk about huh?) Whoever it is will die but wont have a romance with the Olivia character(s). Maybe its Goofy lmao.
This is quite long enough, let me know if y'all got any more ideas. I'll edit this when I can since I am tired of writing. Please comment or reblog for suggestions and the like thx u. And please...Look Away while you still can.
#sorry this was so long and a bit incomprehensible#just wanted to get my thoughts out there and written down before I forget#might post more about episode specifics and will definitely draw some scenes out#if i can get it to work#maybe animate something 👀#asks are open btw#feel free to ask about this au if ya want#id appreciate it#ducktales au#ducktales 17#asoue au#a series of unfortunate events#della duck#donald duck#louie duck#scrooge mcduck#huey mcduck#Webby Vanderquack#dewey mcduck#violet sabrewing#lena sabrewing#magica de spell#launchpad mcquack#mrs beakley#Goldie O'Gilt#?#Daisy Duck#Goofy Goof#Ma Beagle#Mrs. quackfaster
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Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)
ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut
firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️
I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery
for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go
you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while
i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about
that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep
the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it
on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now
get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while
go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week
the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff
when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)
more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)
the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs
i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night
all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah
some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option
ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!
finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕
#and like i said ill post a more complete version at some point when i have time and my laptop#but dw that one ill be able to put under a cut#asks#long post#top surgery#fibromyalgia#is there a tag for chronically ill trans ppl?? i feel like there should be the venn diagram is pretty chunky#medical //#also its 2am as im writinf this lmao sorry if it doesnt make sense
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So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction):
1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish.
2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.
3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.
4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.
5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.
6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.
That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:
Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.
THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?
I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao.
I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.
THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR
NVM ITS GONE
WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.
Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though.
I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?
Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.
The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?
Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.
I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW.
Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.
THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO.
Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase.
ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE.
SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.
NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.
Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.
INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.
SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.
this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ?
omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.
exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH
edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie
I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.
THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.
I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.
ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.
jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie
why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.
i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need?
why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?
jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.
how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.
why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.
these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out
i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo
fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me
i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess
belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris
THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.
why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.
CHARLIES DESEVRS BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO
reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue
he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone
he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward
EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT LOVE LIK THST
LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING.
im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru
i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou.
WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR
edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.
wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win
MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED
now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this
jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better
now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese
mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake
this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war
victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch
og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc
i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree
oshit is the volutire
SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE
CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL
I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN
JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES
I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO
I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE
THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE
poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself
WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY
KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE
fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough
that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love
#Twilight#Twilight renaissance#drunk twilight#drunken twilight#twilight while drunk#twilight review#eclipse#eclipse review#eclipse while drunk#drunken eclipse#simp ass hoes fandom#simp ass hoes
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matchup time (:
hell ye >:3c so i’m a female scorpio, sexually-speaking i consider myself demisexual with a heavy preference for men (despite the anxiety i get from being around them). my hobbies include reading, a lot of creative mediums (writing, drawing, sculpting, cosplaying, moreso in the realm of making characters and worlds and whatnot, i also have an original canon that i’ve been working on for 9-10 years now), biking, psychology, video games (mainly visual novels and rpgs), world mythology, music, and playing trombone! personality-wise i’m a bit complicated due to trauma (i’m working on it tho) but i’m very much an ambivert! so sometimes i may be outgoing and talkative, other times i only want to have deep conversations with lots of personal substance and then go to sleep right after. i’ve been told that i’m somebody who’s pretty aware of themselves or at the very least understanding of my own inner machinations, the awareness of which i’ve spent a lot of time cultivating to help manage my adhd and anxiety/depression. other words people have used to describe me are artistic, eccentric, vivacious, mischievous/playful, empathetic, wild, stubborn, sensitive, aggressive/dominant, impatient, fiery, i think you get the gist. i also have a little shih tzu puppy named xander (as in alexander the great bc we’re greek) who i love very very much.
for the character, choose characters from fe: awakening/fates/3H but if you think ike might be a good fit too, feel free to add him in there. wink wink. and maybe one of the boys from p5 ghfjdlsla
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Fates: Hmm Fates was honestly the game I was having the hardest time choosing someone from… but I honestly think Kaze is the best match for you!
As far as men go, Kaze is far more comforting to be around than anyone else. I can’t say for certain if that will be the case for you… but know he would do whatever you needed to feel comfortable around him! He’s all about seeing you happy, healthy, and safe (he’ll often put your feelings above his (make sure to check in on him from time to time; he’ll really appreciate it). He’s also probably one of the most supportive partner of your creative arts that you can find; he’s the type to take your drawings and show them off to others or sit down with you and let you explain, as in depth or not as you please, about your world; it fascinates him endlessly how full of creativity you are! He’s amazed every time he learns something new about you and is always excited to take the time to learn more.
As for Trauma, Kaze understands; he has a lot of his own baggage he needs to face it and as he sees it, these things are better done together. So don’t worry about sharing your burdens with him, Kaze will gladly help you shoulder your emotional burdens, so long as you’ll let him do the same. While he’s an introvert himself, Kaze is perfectly willing to deal with you as you come. He’s fond of how playful you are (plenty of people have told him to loosen up and well… you make it easy).
Kaze met you while trying to escape the girls that tend to fawn over him when he goes into towns. How it happened, neither of you were sure but you quite literally bumped into one another and tripped! Lucky for you, Kaze caught you! Of course, Kaze immediately felt bad and wanted to make it up to you and it just went on from there!
Awakening: Inigo was actually the first person I thought of when I read your description, the trouble was deciding to use him for fates/awakening hehe
Anyways, it’s easy to picture how to two of you met; Inigo can’t help himself when he sees a cute girl but seeing how you freeze up and stutter in reply Inigo is like, whoa, hey, are you good? And in return finds himself shying up and getting awkward too. Just like you get anxious around men, he gets shy around girls; once the two of you learn how to function around one another he’s happy to give you advice on how he deals with his anxiety.
Inigo is endlessly supportive in your creative endeavors! He may be a talented dancer but in his eyes that hardly holds a candle to the worlds you can create with your wondrous words, or the art you can make seemingly out of nothing. It’s amazing to him and he’s more than happy to indulge you in it; make sure to compliment him as well, not only so you can see that adorable blush of his but also so he knows you support him as much as he does you!
Honestly, Inigo loves how playful and mischievous you can be; it reminds him to to be so embarrassed and shy when he’s with you, or even without you. Your smile, how you get so fired up yet are still so kind and empathetic… Everything about you and your personality help calms him down and face whatever it is he’s facing. He can only hope the smile he’s always ready to give (special for you, nowadays) can help you in the same way.
3 Houses: If I’m honest, I’m still not completely sure on this (if only because it feels like my own bias is shining through) but I feel like Lorenz would be a good match for you! Just hear me out please!
Obviously this would be post time skip (as most of my dealings with 3h will be). But out of most of the cast in 3 houses I feel like after time skip Lorenz becomes one of the more understanding, respectful and patient men! If you’re scared or anxious around him he’s first going to try to figure out what he can do to lessen that and if that means he has to leave your company, so be it but he’ll leave with a “if you even need to talk about it, I’ll be willing to listen”.
He’s a huge supporter of the creative arts (though, unfortunately he’s not very creative himself, more blessed in leading, tactics and such things). Still, as every noble should have, he has a great appreciation of the arts! He finds it incredibly charming how you can just make a world and continue to work with it and change it as you grown and change yourself and is your biggest supporter when it comes to art! He’s more than ready to commission you to do work for him and display it where everyone can see, proudly explaining what it is, just who did and who you are to him.
He’s always to sit down with a piping cup of tea and spend the afternoon chatting away with you about whatever comes to mind. The inner workings of your mind, of the person he admires and adores so much who can be so controversial at times (fiery but shy, anxious but wild). Everything about you only adds up to make him love you more than he did the moment before!
Ike: I really honestly think you and Ike would end up being really good together! The two of you are actually quite similar in some aspects while your differences really balance one another out.
You’re a lot more on the creative side than Ike, it’s true. He may not be the best to talk to when it comes to your more creative endeavors since he’ll mostly remain quiet due to lack of knowledge but know what makes you happy makes him happy. He’ll gladly be your quiet company while you create worlds and masterpieces, so long as you humor him with his likes. Which, isn’t hard really; Ike just wants someone he can be himself with and let his worries out to.
He really admires how playful and free you seem. Ike’s always willing to grow closer with his allies but sometimes isn’t always sure how he. It’s not that he’s shy he just becomes awkward quickly in a situation he doesn’t know where to begin in. But with you, it’s always seemed easy. Once you’ve overcome your anxiety it’s always fun to talk with you because its always different.
You grew to be a trusted confident, right under his nose. It was different that with Soren, Mist, or even Titiana. When he’s with you, not only do his worries flow freely but he wants to hear yours in return and even try to soothe them. Its confusing, no doubt, because Ike has never really felt this way before. He has the weight of the world on him and yet he still wants to help shoulder your burdens as well. He’s thankful for you help both inside and outside of battle but his need to protect you is distracting. So of course, he’ll go to you with his worries, as always; in the end, it’s up to you to tell him that he’s in love with you. It’ll take him a moment but then it will all click in place for him.
“Oh,” He paused, blinking slowly as if taking the long moment to really process it all. “I… guess I am.” He smiled, softly at you now. “I love you.” He laughed as the words left his lips, gaze settling on your face. “So I guess now… the question is, do you feel the same way?
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Fatalis
Four men sitting apart from each other in the hull of a ship. Wood creaks as the ship pushes through another swell. None of the men have spoken much to each other since preparing for the trip 2 mornings ago. Marlow hadn’t moved in hours. The groups Palico, Thellow, had brought fish from the upper decks down and encouraged everyone to eat but no one seemed interested in eating. Somehow the journey was worse than many hunts the men had been on.
Jackson and Ike had been hunting wyverns and dragons all over the continent for the last 10 years. Marlow was new. That isn’t to say he was without skill. Jackson and Ike had seen the kid rip a diablos tail clean off with about 5 good slice shots that Ike had bet strongly he wouldn’t be able to make. Marlow had a keen eye, but he didn’t have the same will power the others did. Jackson was worried he wouldn’t be up to par for this hunt.
He didn’t have the greatest tact when talking to others so after a while of contemplation he moved over to Ike and sat down next to him on the floor. The floor creaking more as Jackson’s weight came upon it. The damp wood smell didn’t help lift the mood either. Not that any of them seemed to notice. The simple act of moving towards the pray they had been asked to hunt was harder than any of them expected. Jackson leaned his head over to Ike and whispered, "could you check on Marlow? I don’t think he’s doing well". Ike looked back at Jackson. His eyes were red and the skin under them had sagged. he must have been sobbing without Jacksons notice. Ike gulped and took a deep breath. he was about to say something but couldn’t find the words and just exhaled in despair. The two looked to Marlow who had lifted his head at the new activity. Marlow stared back at his two seniors and within a few moments he broke down and cried out loud. Ike rubbed his eyes and started to compose himself. standing up he walked to Marlow and placed his arm around his shoulders. Comforting him as best he could.
Hans hadn’t said anything or even noticed the energy in the room change. He had been meditating for the last day. The Wyverians had it easy. they could focus their minds and remain steeled even in the worst situations. The rest of the men were only human and could not help but dread the impossible task they had been given. The monster they had been sent to kill was growing more and more confident in its prowess. Each day it seemed like its area of influence had grown. More towns burnt to the ground. More bodies incinerated while running for their life’s. And more hunters burnt, killed, or mutilated beyond recognition. The impression of glory from the hunt had faded from most hunters’ minds. All that was left was the depression of knowing that those who face this creature have forfeit their lives.
Jackson was nervous but had expected a fight like this to come at some point in his career. Ike to, but with less acceptance than Jackson. Marlow had only been an official hunter for 2 years. He showed lots of potential but still had allot to live for. Despite showing strong will in the face of an impossible task, Jackson still had something burning in the back of his mind. He had a song stuck in his head for the last few days since news of the hunt came in. He was surprised by the persistence of his own brain to keep the song running at every waking moment. It was not even a good song. It was only ever sung by kids playing games and Jackson couldn’t remember the last time he had even herd it sung out loud. But in stressful situations the mind can fixate on things. Even things you might not want it to.
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A few hours later the boat came up to port. "finally," said Ike. He was the first and by far the most eager to get off the boat. Actually getting on with things was probably the best move for everyone. Waiting just let the mind stew and overall wouldn’t help the hunt at all. Hans jumped to shore first and tired down the boat. The others prepared their gear and passed it over one by one. The metal boxes of explosives, ammo, and blades were an awkward shape and heavy for most. Ike jumped on shore as well to help Hans with carrying it over while Jackson and Marlow passed the boxes across. They made extra care not to slip on the wet stone of the port. It had been sleeting rain here for some time and most of the stone and wood was covered in algae or moss. Losing a weapon box here would be not just embarrassing but tragic. Even loosing one weapon would put a huge burden on the rest of the hunt and create even more risks none of the men wanted to take.
Once the supplies were on shore, they set about looking for a place to stay the night. The clouds around Schrade were always thick and dark ever since the beast moved in. The port town down the mountain where they had just landed was a hollow shell of what it had used to be. The towns name had been burned away with its people. Now all that was left was a few streets of wooden shacks. Either black from ash and fire or bleached white from the sea and time. The streets were a coble path of wet granite. Grass and small plants pushing past the stone to reach what little sunlight they could. The group ventured into town and already knew the location of the one building that would give some refuge for the night.
At the end of the main street was a rather well-built stone and oak building used by the towns fire brigade. Suitably it was the only building that was not totally destroyed by fire. The hunter’s guild had already scouted out the area to make the journey a little easier and after the two nights of boating the old abandoned building seemed like a luxury hotel. The metal door swung open easily and inside were a few old sleeping mats, a pile of firewood, and a pile of scrap papers. The group paused after seeing the rather basic and dismal interior. Marlow had been looking forward to a real bed. Hans entered first and moved to the right-hand side of the building. He dropped his bag to the floor, swung around and clapped his hands together. "all right boys, who’s getting the fire started? Thellow crawled in between the hunter’s legs and ran for a pile of old drapes. Rain was not a Palicos friend and scrapes of cloth seemed like a nice reprieve. Marlow, Ike, and Jackson let out probably the first smile in a few days. They needed someone like Hans to take the reins for a bit.
After about an hour Marlow got the fire burning. Thellow had set up a camping grill and was preparing some fish for the group. Hans was thumbing through the scraps of paper while Ike was writing on one of them. "Would you like to write one to, Jackson?" Hans called out from across the fire. Jackson was going through the metal boxes they had brought. Checking everything was where it was meant to be. Some hunters hated how neurotic he got when preparing. However, his policy of triple checking before a hunt meant that no one hunting with Jackson had ever worried about running out of medicine or drugs during the expedition. He had checked the weapons and med packs 12 times since packing. Hans called out again " Jackson, do you want to write something?" finally out of his packing trance Jackson perked his head up and quickly replied "yes, yes, of course I’ll write something. Let me just finish and I’ll come over". Hans rolled his eyes while Ike snickered. They were both a bit sick of this behavior.
Ike stood up and said "I think this will do. If anything happens then at least people will know how cool I was". Hans added Ikes paper to the stack. For a hunt of this caliber it was tradition for hunters to leave a note at base camp. Each hunter would write a bit about themselves and why they were going after monster they were. The Notes would pile up at base camp until someone slayed the monster. Only the winning person or team could take the papers home with them. A symbolic way of carrying the efforts of other hunters with them. Even if hunters did not lose their lives it was still a way of showing respect to others in the field. After another 3 minutes Jackson walked over and took the pen from Ike. He didn’t want to write anything to sentimental or emotional, but considering the monster they were fighting, he tried his best. Thellow was just about done with the first part of dinner. Grilled fish with lemon and mashed potato. It was basic but filling. Marlow and Ike both took the first serving. Hans would probably eat a small amount after everyone was done. He wasn’t the one hunting. Hans was a Recorder and handler for the hunt. It was his job to get the hunters safely to the monster and gather what info he could during the fight.
Jackson put his pen down, satisfied with the dribble about the honor of such a hunt. the song rattling in his head didn’t help. He wrote and scratched out a few parts and the whole thing looked a bit fake. He moved to get the next serving of dinner while Hans started reading Jacksons note. While Jackson filled his mouth with potato mash, Hans snapped at him "is this really what you want to leave? you’re not doing any of these other notes a service by mixing your crap in with them" he gestured to the pile of about 50 or so papers piled on a supply crate. Ike and Marlow both looked at Jackson assuming he had written something dumb about it all been bullshit that they even need to do this. Jackson finished his bite and swallowed "I did really try but I couldn’t find it ya know? It’s kinda hard to think about good things for a hunt that we are been forced into" Ike and Marlow looked back to Hans expecting a well formed argument but surprisingly He nodded in agreement "I know its not the best situation but every day more and more towns are destroyed. The guild can’t get hunters up here on short notice like this" Marlow cut in "if we don’t kill it now then the next closest town is Minegarde. Hans is right, we should knock on its front door rather than let it come knock on ours." They were both right.
the port town of Minegarde was usually rather safe and had a high quantity of hunters ready to take on whatever challenged them. But stories of an elder dragon, Darhen Mohran had drawn most of the town’s skill away to the east. Ike let out a laugh and said "bet you don’t think the Mohran hunt is overrated now Jackson" Jackson laughed and sheepishly said back "yeah I kinda wish I had gone with the rest. Probably would have been a livelier trip" Marlow let out a small smile and Hans chuckled.
Jackson looked back to Hans "would you like to write it for me then? you seem to be better with words than me" Hans shook his head "no this will be fine. I’ll make sure anyone who comes here will know of the great Jackson who thought he had better things to do than hunt an elder dragon”. It was the first time the 4 men had laughed together in days. The joy a simple meal and good conversation can bring to people’s hearts is astounding.
The dinner bolstered the spirit of the party far more than expected, and when armor and skill are stripped away, spirit is all that’s left. An hour later the group had settled in for the night. They all tried to get a good sleep before tomorrow’s hunt. Jackson still struggled to sleep, the song running in his head like a ticking clock. He started thinking about how maybe the song was written by the monster itself, to drive hunters mad before even fighting it. eventually he dozed off.
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Morning came but day did not. The sky was still dark and only a few rays of sun could pierce the black clouds that loomed over Schrade. They were unnatural. They weren’t from a volcano or storm, but they lingered around the mountain where castle Schrade once stood. The castle had been destroyed hundreds of years ago. The town was a settlement that tried to take advantage of the castles well-built infrastructure. They planned to turn castle Schrade into a hunting hub for the mountain ranges above Minegarde. It would have made a great port town between the western coast and northern town of Pokke. It would have if it wasn’t for the last living resident of castle Schrade.
The group spent the early morning getting ready. Hans helped the men get their heavy armor on while Thellow sorted the packs to make sure everyone had the correct equipment at the ready. Jackson had his armor on first, a nice well-made set from a Brachidios. He had a reputation at the guild for his humorous encounter with it, so he figured it was a good armor to wear for a hunt like this. The Brachadios obsidian hide was naturally fire resistant and considering his roll at the front line, it seemed like it fit both thematically and practically. He cleaned his gun lance one last time while Ike and Marlow were getting ready. Ike was a jack of all trades and enjoyed hunting with whatever he found most suitable for each hunt. For this he chose the matte red Rathalos armor and a great sword. he figured that to kill a big monster he would need a big sword. Marlow would provide cover fire and support from behind with his bow gun. He didn’t usually bring more than a few kinds of ammunition. He liked to keep it simple. As long as he could shoot the monster down then it would be fine. For this hunt he made sure to bring an intense variety of ammunition. Poison, electrical, a few sticky bomb shots. Each of the hunters had prepared an appropriate kit for a fight of this caliber.
Finally, the crew was ready to depart. Hans would be climbing the neighboring mountain to observe and record the encounter. From there he would be able to tell if crew was successful and if anyone or anything survived the fight. Hans grabbed Jackson’s hand and looked straight into his eyes "don’t let this beast be your end Jackson. I will see all of you when you return. legends of the guild" the three waved him goodbye as he started his own journey. The group didn’t waste any time and set out climbing the mountain where castle Schrade sat atop.
The sides of the mountain were a trial in of themselves. They had narrow walkways with sheer drops on one side. For a gun lance user like Jackson this was a bit of a joke. He had Ike and Marlow go before him for the first part of the climb and even tied a rope around his waist just in case the weight of the cannon mounted on his back became too much. Eventually the path came to an end at a plateau. The area was larger than expected at this height. The group could have easily fought the beast here if it were not for the rusted graveyard of old weapons.
Infront of them was about 20 or so old worn out Dragonators. A metal spear a few meters in length designed to drill straight into the hide of even the toughest monster. They were a devastating defense the guild had been employing since its early years and they were a staple of elder dragon defense operations. This pile must have been hundreds of years old. It was hard to tell if the previous occupants of castle Schrade had used this as a close by dump or if they were been hauled to the castle and simply forgotten. Regardless the team climbed over with care. Making sure not to slip and fall onto one of the viscous spikes.
Then the real climb began. A sheer cliff with only a few outcrops for about 100 meters. Jackson and Ike tied their equipment to a rope and would hoist it up after they had made it to the top. They weren’t the best mountain climbers, but they made do. At about halfway up Jackson pulled his head up into a cave that could easily fit the party. He called out to the crew "we should take a rest here" after entering the cave the group lined up and together pulled the weapons and Thellow up the cliff, into the small cave. The Palico made sure the knots stayed firm and the weapons didn’t rock to much while ascending. Ike made snide remark while huffing and pulling on the rope "jeez Thellow how much fish did you eat last night". The Palico meowed loudly from outside the cave as the group pulled the equipment inside.
They each fell to the ground and passed around a water bottle. While Marlow and Ike had a drink, Jackson investigated the back of the cave. Finally, been able to spend more time examining it. It wasn’t very big but at the back was a pile of ash and rusted metal. He walked over to inspect it. Reaching out to wipe the ash away, the whole thing crumbled and exploded into a black cloud. He wiped the black soot from his visor and had the chance to see what remained. It was an empty suit of old armor. It only took a second for Jackson to realize what the ash filling the armor had used to be. He lost focus for a moment. The song was louder than ever. He could even hear and make out the voices of the children singing it now. His heart was pounding, and he felt like it was banging on the metal armor around his chest. "What was that?" Ike asked from behind. It snapped Jackson from his trance, and he swiveled around, quickly replying with "nothing, just some old scrap". Jackson had some water and the group continued up. Another 40 or so meters and Jackson finally put his hand onto the stone base of what once was castle Schrade.
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They just finished pulling up the last of the weapons. Quickly both Ike and Jackson grabbed their tools. Been un-armed for that long had made them both a little jumpy. Marlow had already started surveying the area. He needed good vantage points and places to move to while gunning. Infront was a large courtyard using stone bricks. On the upper side was a castle wall connected to a stone watch tower. spears and swords lay around it, as if the men they belonged to simply evaporated. It was giving all of them chills.
Behind that was still more of the castle. The entire building was massive and expanded over 2 mountains and across the range in between. This was only the entrance way. It was by far the best place to fight something big. The rest of the castle was to jagged with corridors that would restrict movement to much. The team knew that the monster would almost certainly take advantage of that and blow them to pieces before they even knew it was attacking. Out in the open was the best they could hope for.
Marlow had already started moving to the side wall to get some height. It was a great place to have a gunner and gave a brilliant view of the area. There were a few pieces of old ammunition around. Not much but some ballista and cannon balls might help if given the opportunity. The castle wall even still had one intact Dragonator in it, still unfired. Jackson had already set to work getting a plan ready using what little they had on the castle.
It was only morning but still extremely dark. Not much light could get through the clouds even this high up. It still felt like night was around them. Ike moved over to one of the cannons and started checking the fuses while loading a ball in. Jackson started walking to the eastern side to check if the last cannon had a working fuse. He stopped. frozen in place. The creature appeared out of blackness. As if the clouds that swirled around this mountain were the monster itself. A beam of light shone across it revealing the full size of the dragon.
It was allot bigger than anyone expected. Standing on his back legs it stood easily over the entire watch tower, over 40 meters tall. Its tail was an enormous black chrome whip that stretched the whole length of the beast and more. Its legs were short, but its claws were long. Covered in crusted blood from those who had come before. The spines along its back looked like bladed gravestones. Its scales were a hideous black and blue, as if its entire skin was one giant bruise. The wings on its back stretched out in the air, welcoming the hunters to its roost. Its neck was long and gave it incredible height. At the top was a head full of more teeth than its mouth could hold. Two sets of two horns each side of its head that twisted away from its skull. And its eyes. Its awful eyes. They had black slits like a snake but furious red Iris that looked like a fire storm inside its head.
It hadn’t even made a sound. Jackson wasn’t even sure it was real yet. He didn’t know if Ike or Marlow were even still here. The world paused for a second. The dragons tongue slithered out of its mouth and licked its lips. It stared down at its new guests. Jackson had fought allot of monsters and after fighting enough he could tell why a monster fought by the way it looked. Some were hungry. Others scared. But this was something new. Never had Jackson seen a monster smile back and its combatant. This unholy creature of night didn’t care for food or to defend its home, it just wanted to kill. It was genocidal to the core and wanted nothing more than hunters to die. The dragon was going to enjoy this.
Jackson yelled out to whoever might still be behind him. "Time to show it what were made of!". He flicked the main barrel of his gun lance down and took out his shield. Turning the safety off with a click, he rotated a few shells through the main gun. The dragon let out a bellowing cry that changed from a roar to a shriek. This close, it felt as if his ears were going to bleed just from standing near it. His heart slowed down, and a smile crept into the corner of his mouth. Both the song and his fear had left his mind. Without his fear he felt confident, nothing holding him back from his fate. The song’s lyrics made sense now.
The Legend of the Black Dragon
When the world is full of wyverns, the legend is revived
meat is eaten, bone is crunched
and blood is sucked up dry
he burns the earth and melts through iron
he boils the rivers and mows down trees
he awakens the winds and lights the inferno
he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destiny
he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destruction
call for help, run for your lives
and don’t forget to pray to the skies
he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destiny
he is called Fatalis, the wyvern of destruction
Fatalis, Fatalis
Heaven and Earth are yours
Fatalis, Fatalis
Heaven and earth are yours
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Quick note. i wrote this over a few days after having some dreams about monster hunter. Im not a writer or much of a creative. i work with animals mostly so monster hunter has a good place in my heart. This is very much a first go at writing and im hoping people enjoy it.
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