#ignore this if you want to
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am i
really a person?
rather than some sort of shitty fucking bot?
#hhhhhhhhhhh#ignore this if you want to#i just#don’t feel like a person#idk#avery caws#kind of a vent?
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OH MY GOD AMBATANAT
TIGHNARI HAS A CANON THIGH TATTO OH MY GOD AMBATANAT AUUHHMY GODD AUUUGGHHH THIGH TATTOO OH Y GODDDD AND ON A SEPERATE NOTE HIS FOX FORM AWAWAWAAAA33WWW ITS SO CUTE WAFWGEYHYHVRSGIPUHVWRGUPIVHJI4WTNPG TIGHNARI TIGHNARI TIGHNARI TIGHNARI TIGHNARI TIGHNARI TIGHNARI TIGHNARI RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM EXPERIENCING A JOY OVERLOAD THIS IS THE BEST YEAR AND MY FRIEND SENT ME HER FANART OF HIM IM WATERING AT THE MOUTH BYE AAAAAUAUUAUAUWWUUWWUSGHEND,D
#genshin impact#tighnarir34#tighnari#simp post#ignore this if you want to#tumblr#tighnariandmegaysexbutnotreallycuzimasexualandmostlyagirl#Hi#i love him
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I love you mud dauber wasps. I love you cicada killer wasps. I love you Yellowjackets. I love you paper wasps. I love you mammoth wasps. I love you
#wasps#insects#insect love#ignore this if you want to#I just really love wasps#I can't stand them being near me and they can't either#we'll simply have to respect each other from a distance
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You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.
Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.
Kill the censor in your head.
#the redwall glorifying site can sure be squeamish about books with no more problematic premises#if you’re asking what’s wrong with redwall it’s the good/evil species essentialism and the one book that doubles down on it#but like you still read it if you want to write animals having cozy adventures so you’re not ignorant of half your own genre
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Genuinely, what happened to “feminism is for everyone”?
That’s the feminism I grew up with: encouraging people to recognize that fighting sexism and restrictive gender roles helps folks of every gender. We’d push back on the idea that feminists hate men, pointing to inclusive feminist literature and how many men are feminists.
Now, there are so many people insisting that the solution to patriarchy is to openly hate and ostracize men no matter what. Why? What is the benefit? It’s certainly not effective in fighting oppressive structures to exclude half the population from your cause on the basis of immutable traits. It may feel cathartic to say horrible things about men and try to punish them for your frustrations with patriarchy. But the only actual effect I see is the increasing right-wing radicalization of young men, who are being told that the left hates them for the way they were born and presented with an abundance of proof that it’s true.
Why are we going back to treating men and women as different species? It doesn’t fix things to say “well women are the good gender and men are the bad one” this time. If you sincerely want to dismantle sexism, you’re going to have to unpack and let go of all sex and gender essentialism—even that which considers women inherently pure and men inherently immoral.
#read bell hooks read bell hooks I’ll say it 1000x more please read bell hooks#with the u.s. election I’ve been seeing so much about how young men are becoming more & more radicalized by ‘manosphere’ right-wingers#but people’s response instead of ‘let’s work to deradicalize/reduce radicalization’ has been ?? ‘let’s get more radical too’????#as in to stop talking to/having relationships with men entirely. who does that actually help? what effect are you wanting to see?#others say to let men ‘figure themselves out.’ what???? how do you think radicalization and deradicalization work????#intersectional feminism#sexism#transandrophobia#<I have absolutely seen these sentiments be inclusive of trans men completely ignoring that they don’t equally benefit from patriarchy#mine
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A h-heartfelt reunion..?
Bonus
#Sir Crocodile#Monkey D Dragon#Emporio Ivankov#Dragodile#Crocodad#My art#One Piece#We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay#Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao#I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally#He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace.#You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that#Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy#And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do#But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨#And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion
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I really don't feel like writing. I wrote down a single sentence on the page, which was mostly copying from what was already there and was like; nope, not going any further on this for now.
I'm also kind of at a point of wondering if I don't just want to leave it for a bit again and try and work on one of the many other stories that I could work on. Ones that I might actually consider getting published, if I ever get them written.
Part of this comes from thinking about The Hidden Royals again and the other related in world stories as well.
#ignore this if you want to#I'm just in a mood and am tired#the hidden royals#musing on the hidden royals#tales of a frozen sailor#musing on tales of a frozen sailor
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Do you think Evbo learned how to do those jumps and thought "oh this is so sick what's the best way I can show off my parkour skills"
#mcyt#maige's posts#maige's memes#parkour civilization#parkciv#evbo#this is my contribution to the fandom. god i love blond green boys who become burdened with the fate of the world when all they want to do#is be free and have fun#would you believe that i literally have a class discussing the labor movement and rise of communism in early 20th century america that ive#been ignoring bc i was too busy watching this#i have a 350 word essay due actually. oh shit
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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Tommy basically said "the DSMP was good because it was, and still is, loved" and that basically sums up my feelings on the matter too.
#sure you can talk about the controversies about former members#and how the types of people involved in the writing shaped the narrative in ways that are increasingly troubling to look at#but it was also a project that was and still is loved by many of the (to our knowledge) better people involved#and it inspired so many artists and writers and musicians#people made friends through it#it helped people get through the worst parts of lockdown#my opinion of the dsmp for a while now has been pretty bitter. even when i wanted to remember it fondly it was tainted#and i dont think the worst aspects of the story or the ccs should be ignored#but its also so nice to have the opinion of 'yeah. it was good'#despite everything else there was something worthwhile in the dsmp#dsmp#tommyinnit#okay thats enough dsmp posting in 2024 lmao
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dwarven brew
+
#dungeon meshi#aj art#comic#Chilchuck backstory stuff#That’s my tag for these comics now#“Where’d his book go” he slid it onto his lap off screen let’s not talk about it anymore let’s ignore that it just disappears#He slid it into his lap that’s what happened no more questions thank you#Uhhhh#anyways ehdjjf. I finally drew Namari#I wanted to depict how I think they became friends#Bc I love their whole dynamic a lot#Also chillaios#Hhfgfgd#chilchuck#laios touden#namari
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Forbidden orange juice
#Narcissus is an overlooked tragedy i think#in that its not usually considered one#but narcissus was born beautiful and wanted by everyone#and he spurned all advances#generally without particular cruelty--mostly it seems he ignored or recoiled from those chasing him. and for that he was cursed#to love what would not love him back#to be doomed as soon as he knew himself#in a mythos with ravaging heroes and grotesque monsters narcissus is punished for being beautiful and solitary#and the moment he catches sight of his reflection in still water he is lost--gazing at himself#that which would not love him back.#wasting away until nothing but a gold flower remained#and that's what this is about#finding a stranger in your reflection#the self that does not love you#a curse for someone who was solitary#narcissus i hope the water was fathomless#i hope you found something worthwhile in yourself.
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oby jeggy is a different kind of dsfkdsf so here is them from the first fic in that series, i will touch you with my mind by my love @itsjaywalkers
#jegulus#jegulus fanart#marauders fanart#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#marauders#regulus black fanart#james potter fanart#starchaser#sunseeker#regulus x james#marauders era#hp#mine#my art#i fully ignored how cars work man there is a steering wheel somewhere technically#i looked at so many reference pictures of car interiors and realised#(after already having commited to the angle)#that this is not a view you could get from two people sitting in the front seat of a car. but alas. we ignore cars#less ignorable is the fact that somehow not just the car anatomy but also the people anatomy in this would just not work. how do legs ?????#i tried my best but even 24601 references couldnt help me out here so eh...#but laurie screamed at me about this yesterday so id say i succeded in what i had actually wanted to accomplish :)
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Quick note on Charles's speech for fic writers or anyone interested, really.
Charles uses tag questions, where he ends a sentence with a question, doesn't he? I see a lot of "innit" thrown at the end of sentences, which is right, sometimes.
There is unfortunately grammar. First off, if the main verb is negative, the tag will be positive, and vice versa.
When the main verbs in the sentence is a form of "be" or a modal verb (must, could, would, have, will, can, do etc), he's going to repeat that same form at the end of the sentence. An exception to this is a positive main verb of "I am" in which case the tag will be "aren't I?"
"[You're] Not going back to hell, are you?"
"I wouldn't wanna be dead with anyone else, would I?"
"No, we're not going anywhere, are we?"
"Well, I can't see where you're pointing to, can I?"
"We don't want a repeat of the infamous puppy debacle of '94, do we?"
He uses "innit" a lot less than people think, I think. It took me a while to find examples of him saying this, I ended up having to search a transcript. It follows the same rules as above, except the subject is always a thing, or the pronoun "it," and the main sentence is positive, so that the tag can be the negative "innit" (isn't it). *Edit* "innit" is not used as a question! It's mainly used to reinforce a talking point! (Thank you @elizabear). While the other tags are like rhetorical questions, this one is flat tonally and can end with a period, too.
"Boxing's a gentleman's sport, innit?"
"Magical void, innit?"
"That's the injustice we fight, innit?"
When the verb is not one of those above" he uses a form of "do."
"Well, that sounds a lot like you, doesn't it?"
"Wanna keep things professional, don't I?"
Charles also ends a lot of sentences with just the word "yeah."
"Psychic thing makes case work go a lot faster, yeah?"
I am usamerican, but I have a masters in Linguistics. People who actually use tag questions, though, please add on or correct me!
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#sorry if this is obvious to people but I've seen “innit” thrown in at the end enough in fics that I just wanted to share#ignore if you want to! Charles and edwin's speech is part of my favorite things about this show though#dbda fic#sorry for forcing grammar on people#but also not really lol I am a teacher this is my job#I <3 grammar
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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when the nonverbal protagonist is nonverbal
#one of my biggest peeves is when fancontent ignores someone's nonverbal-ness#like you can do whatever you want forever but also I love it when characters are nonverbal#anyways shout-out to saiki kusuo#astronomically random
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