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#ignore the handz
holiday-road · 2 months
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reblog if you fw aussie yaoi 😈🙏
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ravenclod · 1 month
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kyoko musician au iz cooking :3
2jwjwjekwnwkwnwkwbsisjsjsns
so many ideaz and so many auz i cant keep up with tjem all aabwksrjeknd
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transcicle · 1 year
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relapsed
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magicfroggo · 7 months
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excellent elliot fanart
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my art skillz r unmatched (ignore him having no handz)
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the-goth-catte · 1 year
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†† BLACK MASS @ PANDEMONIO || 0 6 . 0 4 . 2 3 ††
Ladytron - Runaway Wumpscut - Hang Him Higher SITD - God's Blessing Suicide Commando - Comatose Delusion (Velvet Acid Christ Remix) Steinkind - Disco-Anarchie Aghast View - Truthlike (Biopsy Remix) Rosetta Stone - Nothing Depeche Mode - Behind the Wheel Rotersand - Grey (Light Grey) Sebastian Komor ft. Lis Van Den Akker - Electric Avenue Scandroid - Neo-Tokyo (Dance with the Dead Remix) Apoptygma Berzerk - Unicorn Crocodile Shop - Order + Joy (Dessau Remix) Alien Sex Fiend - Ignore the Machine (Electrode Remix) Dead When I Found Her - SIN SPOCK - Never Trust a Klingon TaTu - Not Gonna Get Us (Handz Up Remix) Studio Killers - Jenny Switchblade Symphony - Sweet (Apoptygma Berzerk Remix) Apoptygma Berzerk - Coma White Funker Vogt - Narayan God Module - False Face (Cut Up Club Mix) Suicide Commando - Hellraiser (Agonoize Remix) Faderhead - Dirtygrrrls Dirtybois (Modulate Remix) CLEANERS - The Voice (And One Remix) NIN vs Faderhead - 69 Freaks Closer Snake River Conspiracy - How Soon is Now? Lacuna Coil - Our Truth Meg Myers - Running Up That Hill Love Ecstasy Terror ft. Diva Von Teese - Get Back to Her William Control - Strangers VNV Nation vs Daft Punk - When Will We Get Lucky in the Future? Night Club - Vampires Helium Vola - Omnis Mundi Creatura Apoptygma Berzerk - Backdraft (Sarpsborg Synth Version) Ari Mason - Do You Believe In The Existence of Extraterrestrials? Black Nail Cabaret - Bete Noir Garbage - Cities in Dust Pixel Grip - Alphapussy MCL - New York Apoptygma Berzerk - Kathy's Song (VNV Nation Remix) The Cruxshadows - Helios Mechanical Moth - Black Queen Style Queen & David Bowie - Under Pressure (Traveler Remix) Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster Stronger (Nemix Remix) Informatik - Things to Come (make love not war mix) Stromkern - Perfect Sunrise (MTV Party-To-Go Mix) Siouxsie & the Banshees - Spellbound
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ignore the handz please :,D
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love-----bug · 3 years
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Some art in different form- mmmmmmmm-
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My first diy wand!
Also pls ignore my bb handz-
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moonpascal · 3 years
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When you say Gus do you mean Burton Guster? Or Bruton Gastor? Or Magic Head? Or, my personal favorite, Gus “TT” Showbiz?
If not, PLEASE ignore this😭
the extra “t” is for extra talent 🥴
they’re all my favorites and especially M.C clap yo handz with a Z or Big Head Burton and Holla back at cha 😂
i love you so much for even asking me this you’re my best friend now 🤍
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ignore the fact that idk how to draw handz
ANWYAZ thiz iz him he'z very skittish pleaze take good care of them
I hold them gentol
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skzsauce01 · 5 years
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42nd Moon Pt 1
Description: By some stroke of luck, you get off the waitlist of your biology class. You’d never have guessed you’d find your soulmate there, let alone that he already has a girlfriend... Or that he comes from a fraternity of werewolves.
Warning: none
Word count: 1.5k
Pairing: werewolf!Jisung x fem!reader,  werewolf!Hyunjin x fem!reader
A/N: Please stay healthy during this pandemic! Wash thy handz.
Chapter List
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“Is anyone sitting here?”
Jisung raises his head from the homework that he has totally done to see you gesturing to a seat in front of him.
Something about you enthralls him. He swallows down a lump in his throat before being able to answer. “Yeah, but there isn’t anyone there.” He points to the seat left of where you indicated towards.
“Thanks,” you say with a smile.
“I’m Jisung,” he introduces himself. “Just got off the waitlist?” 
“Y/N,” you return. “And yeah. I hope I‘m not too far behind.”
“Not at all,” Jisung shakes his head. “I’d show you my notes, but it’s probably better if you looked at Hyunjin’s.” He gestures to the chair you asked about earlier. “He should be here any moment.”
As if on cue, a male walks through the door and greets Jisung with a wave.
The second you lay your eyes on him, you can feel your heart stop and all the heat rush to your face. This phenomenon you have no explanation for. Sure, he is tall and very attractive, but physical traits aren’t enough for you to have this kind of reaction. As if the two of you share the same mind, he too freeze in shock upon laying eyes upon you, eyes wide and jaw dropped. 
The only thing that brings the both of you back to reality is a voice from the hall.
“Hyunjin? Are you here already?”
The one you assume is Hyunjin turns around with open arms and greets the girl who bounces through the door. She jumps into them and he wraps them around her.
“Hey, Jiyoung, what are you doing here? Don’t you have another class right now too?”
A pit gouges its way into your stomach when you see another girl latching onto your seat neighbor like that. You furrow your brows, wondering why you are feeling like this, so you shake your head and concentrate on your hands. This is ridiculous, you tell yourself. He has a girlfriend, and you don’t even know him. Still, you begin to gnaw at your cheeks, impatiently awaiting Jiyoung’s departure.
“I just wanted to see you. Here I got you this.” She reaches into her bag and takes out boba.
Hyunjin’s eyes sparkle upon seeing the drink. “Thanks, Sweetie. You’re the best.”
“Of course I am,” she grins. “Alright, I gotta go now.” She tiptoes to give Hyunjin a peck on the lips and then waves to Jisung. “Bye guys!”
Jisung waves back and waits for her to leave before teasing his friend. “Aren’t you two sweet.”
“You’re just jealous,” Hyunjin sighs with a roll of his eyes.
“Anyway,” Jisung transitions, “this is Y/N; she just got off the waitlist. Could you show her your notes?”
Hyunjin turns his head towards you with narrowed eyes. His heartbeat increases along with yours as the two of you make eye contact. 
“No,” he mutters.
Jisung blinks in surprise. “What the heck dude? It’s just your notes.” He turns to you. “Sorry, Y/N, he’s not usually like this, I swear.” And back to Hyunjin, “Come on bro. You’re the one who always says no one can read my notes; that’s why we’re asking you.”
Hyunjin grunts but digresses. He leans his head on one hand while handing you his notebook with the other while avoiding eye contact. 
“Thank you,” you say uncertainly. Your heart leaps when your fingers come into contact during the transaction.
Jisung apologizes for his friend once more and soon you are busy copying his notes. 
Jisung leans forward and whispers to his friend. “Yo, what’s wrong with you? You were totally fine when Jiyoung was here.”
“It’s nothing,” Hyunjin growls.
“Don’t turn wolf on me,” Jisung jokes. “We’re in pu--”
Jisung’s eyes widen once the gears in his brain fit together. With a gasp, he grabs Hyunjin’s wrist and pulls his sleeve up.
“What the heck?” snaps the taller of the two.
“Oh my moon,” Jisung breathes as he stares at the glowing bracelet of a tattoo on Hyunjin’s wrist. The ring of pattern is complete everywhere but a spot on the inside of the wrist, a spot he knows you have the complimenting part. “She’s your soulmate!”
“Could you say that louder?” Hyunjin hisses, pulling his sleeve back down to hide the golden glow.
“Sorry,” Jisung apologizes. “But what about Jiyoung?”
“That’s exactly why I’m being so rude!”
“But she’s your soulmate! You can’t just ignore her!”
“And Jiyoung’s my girlfriend, so what’s your point?” Hyunjin challenges.
“I’m done. Thanks, Hyunjin,” you , unaware of the conversation between the two, interrupt.
Jisung narrows his eyes at his friend while burying his nose in his forearms on the table, thinking about you and Hyunjin’s decision for the rest of the lecture.
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“You’ve got to tell Chan.”
“No I don’t! We just have to get through this semester without any incident and everything will go back to normal.”
“You can’t do that; you aren’t physically capable of that!”
“Why not? You should know better than anyone that we’re just fine without our soulmates.”
Jisung bites his lip and twiddles his thumbs.
Hyunjin realizes what he said and quickly rubs his friend on the back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s okay. I mean, I see your point and Jiyoung’s really great, but I think we should still tell Chan.”
“I--”
“Tell me what?”
Jisung looks at Hyunjin. He sighs and rolls up his sleeve.
“This,” he begins. “It was glowing earlier today.”
Chan gasps. “Really? For whom?”
“A new girl in biology discussion today,” Jisung answers this time.
“Oh, I see what the problem is,” Chan frowns. “Jiyoung.”
Hyunjin nods with his head down.
“And I don’t suppose you are planning to break up with her.”
A head shake.
Chan folds his arms and looks to the sky with a soft hum. 
“We don’t have to be with our soulmates, right?” Hyunjin asks softly.
“No,” agrees Chan. “It’s just that you two are more compatible than anyone else in this universe, and she can increase your powers.”
“So what do you suggest I do?”
“Truth be told, I don’t know either,” Chan admits. “Just carry on as you were, I guess. If the universe has a plan, then it’ll be what it’ll be. Just remember--”
“I can’t mate with Jiyoung, I know,” Hyunjin finishes.
Chan gives the younger male an approving pat on the shoulder. “Don’t forget.”
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“-- and he just went “uwwwaagg” and left!”
“Seriously?” you laugh.
Jisung cannot help but smile with you. “Cross my heart! Whoever designed the frat house was not thinking when they installed glass shower doors.”
“Hey guys.” 
You both turn towards the grumble to see Hyunjin trudging up the mountain. Behind him is another male who chirps a greeting. Your biology instructor has assigned you to find an owl pellet with the person sitting next to you. Jisung, with all his brilliant ideas, decides not only do his project at ungodly hours when the pellets “are the most fresh,” but also decides to drag his friend, and consequently, you, along.
Your blood rushes to your face just like it does every time you see Hyunjin, but it’s worse this time upon seeing his fluffy bed-head poking out of his oversized hoodie.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” Hyunjin scowls while smacking his housemate behind the head. “I used to be the one who has to drag you out of bed, but now you’re early to bio stuff all the time.”
Jisung returns the gesture. “New school year, new me, you know? I just thought I should stop being late and skipping classes all the time.”
“Whatever,” Hyunjin sighs groggily. “So what’s the plan?”
“Try to find pellets, right?”
“Yep,” Jisung agrees while flicking his flashlight on and off. “It’s simple, but let’s stay with our partners, okay? It’s pretty dark right right now.”
The rest of you agree, and Jisung and his partner go west while you and Hyunjin take east.
“How are you?” you try with small talk.
“Been better, no thanks to Jisung,” Hyunjin replies curtly.
You wrack your brain for something else to say, but end up walking with him in silence until you spot a cottonwood tree.
“There!” you point. “Some owls nest in cottonwood, so we can try looking for pellets here.”
You run to the tree and slide to your knees, scrapping the leaves aside until you find what you are looking for. You hold it up to Hyunjin with a proud smile.
“Found one!”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen a tad in surprise at your intelligence and efficiency, not to mention how brightly your smile shines even in this dark forest. He shakes his head to clear such thoughts.
It’s just the soul thing, he reminds himself and tugs on his sleeve to securely hide his glowing mark.
“R-right. Good job,” he stutters and opens a bag for you to drop your find into. “Why don’t you look over there for more, and I’ll keep checking this tree for other pellets?”
You nod and turn your back away from him. The next cottonwood is a bit further away, but at least now you won’t have to keep working in awkward silence with your crush. Once you arrive at your destination, you get on your knees and begin working. After a while, you hear a foot crunch on some leaves behind you.
“Hyunjin, I don’t think this tree has anything.”
“I’m not Hyunjin. Try again!
~ ad.gold
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alexthegamingboy · 5 years
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Toonami Weekly Recap 12/07/2019 (The Forge Edition, Week 5)
My Hero Academia Shie Hassaikai Arc Season 4 EP#68 (05) - Let's Go, Gutsy Red Riot: Eijiro and pro hero Fat Gum do battle with criminals while on patrol. However, the villains utilize drugs that can stop and boost Quirks and gain the upper hand. Eijiro must go beyond his limits to stop them.
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind EP#06 - Moody Blues' Counterattack: A flashback details Abbacchio's past. He was once an honest police officer, but he began accepting bribes from a thug who then killed his partner, ending his police career. He later joined Passione after being approached by Bucciarati. Back in the present, Abbacchio uses his Stand Moody Blues to replay the last five minutes of Narancia's actions. Abbacchio and Bucciarati deduce that the enemy Stand, Soft Machine, has the power to deflate opponents like balloons and pull them into small spaces. Abbacchio suspects that there is one more mystery behind Soft Machine's power, and allows himself to be captured as well, leaving Bucciarati a trail of blood showing where the Stand user is hiding. Bucciarati floods the yacht and causes it to sink, forcing the Stand user, Mario Zucchero, to emerge. Zucchero is revealed to have been hiding inside a second yacht which he had deflated with his power and laid over the first. Bucciarati incapacitates Zucchero by unzipping his head from his body, rescuing the others in the process.
Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba EP#08 - The Smell of Enchanting Blood: The newly-turned demon goes on a rampage, forcing Tanjiro to subdue him and giving Muzan the opportunity to slip away, although not before hearing Tanjiro vow to find him again. Police arrive and attempt to pull Tanjiro off, but he is helped by a nearby demon, Tamayo, and her companion Yushiro. While she is a demon, Tamayo is also a doctor and hence believes in the sanctity of human life. She gives the siblings refuge in her house, hidden from prying eyes by Yushiro's Blood Demon Art, and explains how as every demon contains Muzan's blood, their whereabouts and movements can be tracked by him: should they mention him to anyone, their cells will be destroyed — this is called "the Kibutsuji curse". Tamayo reveals how after 200 years of relentless research, she has finally managed to undo Kibutsuji's curse on her and gain the ability to turn humans into demons, although this procedure is only performed on patients that are nearing the end of their lives and choose that path, Yushiro being one of them. She has also tweaked her and Yushiro's body so that they need to survive only with a little amount of human blood, purchased as blood transfusions. Tanjiro agrees to work with Tamayo to develop a cure for Nezuko, promising to let her study his sister's blood and bring blood from powerful demons related closely to Muzan for her research. Meanwhile, Muzan sends two demons, Susamaru with temari balls, and Yahaba with eyes with arrows for pupils on his palms, to find and kill Tanjiro.
One-Punch Man 2 EP#09 (21) - The Troubles of the Strongest: Bakuzan recognizes Saitama as the one who defeated him, but Saitama kills Bakuzan in one punch. Saitama formally introduces himself to Suiryu as a hero and explains that he joined the martial arts tournament to find the hero hunter (Garou) as well as experience martial arts. Saitama plans to leave but Suiryu begs Saitama to not to because Gouketsu is out there, but Saitama ignores him. Suiryu hears multiple blows and crashes, and thinks Saitama is killed when Gouketsu's decapitated head lands in front of him. Saitama returns and asks Suiryu to not tell anyone what happened, and Suiryu asks if he could become a hero. Saitama agrees, since a nobody like himself can become a hero but when Suriyu asks to be Saitama's disciple, Saitama declines. Puri Puri Prisoner manages to defeat a demon-level monster called Free Hugger by hugging it so tightly that it explodes. Puri Puri Prisoner receives a call that his cell mates were captured by monsters. While walking after talking to C Class Water Gun, Saitama has an existential crisis by reflecting that his experience with martial arts and in the Hero Association has still left him bored. King meets up with Saitama and tries to explain that Saitama was so focused on being the strongest hero, he lost track of himself and should aim to be the best hero. Saitama declines, saying that it sounds boring but just when he gives up hope King offers to play against Saitama using only two fingers, rekindling Saitama's drive. Garou is defeated by Watchdog Man due to the unpredictable fighting style of Watchdog Man (his fighting style is more based on that of a wild beast, which Garou has no counter for) but is filled with adrenaline on what he can learn. Garou sees King, and is about to hit him when Saitama kicks Garou into a concrete wall. Saitama mentions that there are news of a hero hunter, and can't wait to meet him. Genos is taken in for repairs to Dr. Kuseno, and Sonic is training when he is attacked by two very powerful ninja warriors named Gale Wind and Hellfire Flame, who offer Sonic monster cells to become stronger. Sonic plans to eat the monster cells, but due to him cooking the monster cells he doesn't undergo transformation and has diarrhea instead. S Class Hero Rank 8 Zombieman sees Martial Gorilla, and is about to follow him when Armored Gorilla encounters Martial Gorilla. Armored Gorilla knocks Martial Gorilla unconscious, and Zombieman decides to follow Armored Gorilla instead. Bang and Bomb talk about Garou, and a monster infiltrates a member of the Hero Association to give them a message.
Dr. Stone Village Games Arc EP#15 -The Culmination of Two Million Years: As a result of Chrome passing out before the final match, Senku is declared as Ruri's husband but immediately divorces her once he gets the alcohol he needs. After working over the night, the gang finally complete their sulfa drug and give it to Ruri. With Ruri's illness revealed to be pneumonia, the sulfa drugs proves to be effective and Ruri makes a full recovery. As thanks, Senku is declared the new chief of the village, which is revealed to be named Ishigami Village, after which Ruri reveals that she knew of Senku beforehand.
Fire Force EP#18 - The Secrets of Pyrokinesis: Karim and Konro visit Company 8's firehouse to share information with Obi and Hibana about the Knights of the Ashen Flame whome they call White-Clad. Meanwhile, Victor Licht encounters Joker while gathering evidence from around Vulcan's workshop following the fight against Sho, and they discuss Shinra's fire powers. Licht discloses to Company 8 the clues he found to White-Clad's possible location but Hibana is still wary of his true intentions. Meanwhile, Shinmon Benimaru begins training Shinra and Arthur, and puts them through rigorous training to improve their raw combat skills. Following advice from Licht and Benimaru, Shinra begins to efficiently control his flying abilities and develops hand signs, which can focus his blasts into a fast, concentrated burst.
Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma Totsuki Autumn Election Arc EP#21 - That Which Is Known Yet Unknown: Soma awakens from his nap when he senses that his spice and vegetable infused rice is cooked to perfection. Meanwhile, Megumi brings out a monkfish for her dish, having learnt how to butcher it in order to help her family. With the cooking period over, the judging soon begins with a harsh panel of judges giving most of the students low scores. In Group B, Nao Sadatsuka, a somewhat creepy girl with an obsession with Erina, presents an extremely pungent laksa dish made using kusaya that secretly carries a delicious flavor under its strong odor, scoring 84 points as a result. Meanwhile, Erina's secretary and childhood friend Hisako Arato, who Nao has a rivalry with, presents a mutton curry made using medicinal cuisine which undoes the curse-like effects of Nao's curry, scoring 92 points.
Lupin the 3rd Part 5 Enzo Bron Arc Finale EP#24 - Viva Lupin III: When Enzo refuses to take down Lupin's PeopleLog posts, the United States and its allies launch an all-out attack on Shake Handz to prevent a worldwide political crisis. Calling on the aid of his old friends Rebecca Rosselini and Diana Archer, Lupin storms the Shake Handz headquarters to save Fujiko and Ami. Enzo is taken completely by surprise, shaking his faith in his creation. Lupin gives Fujiko his long over-due answer concerning their relationship, saying that he loves her and takes off his own mask. The four of them escape the collapsing building, during which Enzo renews his family bond with Ami. The series concludes with the world returning to normal, and Lupin's fame boosted by his recent exploits. Albert flees with Enzo's assistant Ling to exploit PeopleLog's capacities for his own purposes, while Ami and Enzo are sheltered by Zenigata, who gladly continues his never ending chase of Lupin and his gang.
Black Clover: Elf Tribe Reincarnation Arc EP#97 - Overwhelming Disadvantage: Yami's attack cuts Charlottes in half, damaging the buildings but saving the city. Charlotte retreats with Marx and Owen. The damage to the city breaks open the magical prison and Gueldre Poizot escapes along with Revchi Salik, the disgraced magic knight who once tried to steal Yuno's Grimoire. An elf possessed knight attacks, forcing them to work together. They manage to bind his magic with Revchi's magic binding chains and then escape. The elf possessing Luck almost kills Noelle and Kirsch as their defence is ineffective against Luck's new power. Rhya wishes he could believe Asta’s words of peace, but having once believed the same of Tetia's brother he decides he cannot trust Asta. Rill, now possessed by an elf named Lira, joins the fight. Zora traps the two, allowing Asta to attack and cut Lira's chest, but it has no effect and Rill remains possessed. Rhya explains that as the reincarnation spell is complete and their souls have taken over the human bodies there is no longer a spell to nullify, so Asta's swords are ineffective. Three more possessed Royal Knights appear so Mereoleona forces Asta and Zora to escape while she remains behind to try kill all the possessed knights. Back in the capital her brother, Fuegoleon, almost wakes up again.
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tonicaballos · 4 years
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Book of Brownie
"Iya... erm... Brownie 'ere" Brownie leans back in his chairs, stretching lethargically. Soon he fishes in a box of cigs and lights one with a crackle of blue electricity he summons between his thumb and index finger.
"My brot'er tol'yez 'is bi'," clears throat and puffs a couple clouds from his catlike lips, soon exhaling the rest from his catlike nose "lemme just talk like them kidders so you can understand wot it is I'm sayin' 'ere"
"So I tink we start at fifteen hundred B.C., right? I landed in the place known as Liverpewl, just before it was there, you know. I lived there in that lovely place as I grew up. Me and my brot'ers would meet up in Cornwall just to give our arl fella didn't get suspicious of us.
I've lived in Liverpewl fer a good while until niether Vesper nor Poohka came to Cornwall. I tracked their last locations to South Africa, 'ere at Kraz'. I th'ugh' they were de'd but eventu'lly I tracked Bats in the handz of sume humanz S'uth in Port E.. Poor bugger won't admit he was tr'umatised by wotever 'appened there."
Brownie allowed a thin columns of smoke to escape his nostrils, his face was far more humanlike, only thing was his catlike features and long pointed ears, the right ear had three golden hoops that moved as his ears lowered. His one black arm lifted to his mouth to remove the cigarette from his mouth, his long nails flicking the stick. His bushy tail patted the couch like a cat's would as he thought for a bit.
"Anyways, the both of us got into smokes and bevvies when we lost Poohka, kinda helps me mellow out, bein' too wuzy to live but not enough to be knocked out. Bat... Bat... he just wantz to kill 'emself with his camels, I just like the Green Manalishi, yew know?." Brownie's half open eyes widened, his slitted pupil thinning, showing his green irises contrast with his pink whites "'ang on! Ye'r too young to know that, just ignore that! Hhm'kay?"
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psychicpinenut · 6 years
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one of the greatest things about Psych is that Shawn and Gus would walk up to these random people to investigate and shawn would just introduce himself as a psychic detective and gus like “this is my associate, MC Clap Yo Handz with a Z” and say something else dumb and the other person would just blatantly ignore every weird ass thing they just said and continue to cooperate, i just love it
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deadcactuswalking · 3 years
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22/05/2021 (Olivia Rodrigo, J. Cole’s ‘The Off-Season’, Nicki Minaj)
Yeah, it’s a big week, given the impact of J. Cole, Jorja Smith, Olivia Rodrigo (more on that next week) and the remaining impact of the BRIT Awards. There’s a lot of nonsense on this chart, a busy as hell one at that, but this surprisingly did not affect the #1, as the remix to “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne spends a third week at the top. Let’s just attack this head on. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.
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Rundown
First of all, let’s get this nonsense out of the way: what happened to songs already on the UK Top 75 chart, which is what I cover? Well, a fair few of them dropped out. Any song that spent five or more weeks in the chart or peaked in the top 40 is considered a notable drop-out, and this week, they include “Wants and Needs” by Drake featuring Lil Baby off of the return last week, “Track Star” by Mooski, “Heat” by Paul Woolford and Amber Mark, “6 for 6” by Central Cee, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee (Gosh, didn’t think J. Cole would take a chunk out of this guy’s audience specifically), “Up” by Cardi B, “Streets” by Doja Cat and finally, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd, but also interestingly “i n t e r l u d e” by J. Cole dropping out off of the top 40 debut despite the album boost. This doesn’t mean it didn’t perform well but rather this is demonstrating this silly chart rule where in the top 100, one artist can only have three songs, preventing album bombs that you see on the US Billboard Hot 100. It makes the chart less accurate but arguably more diverse and hence fun for me to talk about.
There are also a few returning entries to add some fuel to this chart fire, one that has already combusted in the US this week, as “Slumber Party” by Ashnikko featuring Princess Nokia is back at #70 thanks to the video, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’Bone Man is back at #51 thanks to a delayed album boost, and the same can be said for “Addicted” by Jorja Smith at #49.
Then we have our notable losses, songs that fell at least five spots down the chart this week, including “WITHOUT YOU” by the Kid LAROI at #18, “Higher Power” by Coldplay falling big off of the debut at #25, “Your Power” by Billie Eilish at #26, “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #28, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #30, “Leave the Door Open” by Silk Sonic at #31, “Don’t You Worry About Me” by Bad Boy Chiller Crew at #39, “Latest Trends” by A1 x J1 at #46, “Last Time” by Becky Hill at #52, “All I Know So Far” by P!nk at #55 off of the debut, “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #57, “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #58, “Miss the Rage” by Trippie Redd featuring Playboi Carti dropping hard off of the debut at #60 (Really, what was expected here?), Travis Scott’s remix of HVME’s remix of Travis Scott’s “Goosebumps” at #61, “Cover Me in Sunshine” by P!nk and Willow Sage Heart at #63, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #65, “Sunshine (The Light)” by Fat Joe, DJ Khaled and Amorphous at #66, “Tonight” by Ghost Killer Track featuring D-Block Europe and Oboy at #71, and finally, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK at #73.
That’s not to say there weren’t any notable gains however as we do have some interesting remnants of BRITs excitement and some other reasons for our gains this week, which include “One Day” by Lovejoy (more on them later) at #54, “It’s a sin” by Elton John and Years & Years at #47, “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #43, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo at #35 off of the success of “good 4 u” (again, more on that later), “Black Hole” by Griff at #23 thanks to the BRITs, and finally, “deja vu” by Olivia Rodrigo at #11. Really, all of this is just me stalling because this is a massive week – I’m writing this early – let’s just get through this... starting with—oh, for God’s sake.
NEW ARRIVALS
#75 – “Taunt” – Lovejoy
Produced by Cameron Nesbitt
Two weeks in a row, ladies and gentlemen: Minecraft YouTuber-core. How this happens I have no idea but regardless, the people of the UK seem to enjoy this Wilbur Soot guy’s new band. Is the new single better than the last one that charted from this EP, at least? Well, yeah, it is, mostly because at least this one’s an actual pop rock tune that, whilst derivative again, has more hooks than “One Day”, especially those stop-and-start-again verses that give me mathcore flashbacks, just with less of a catharsis to come from it other than that infectious, trumpet-laden chorus. The content is pretty gross if anything, seemingly focusing in on this past relationship from secondary school in which Wilbur tears into a girl for being insecure despite her privileges... for seemingly no reason. I mean, surely, you’ve moved on, right? Thankfully, Wilbur does get his comeuppance by the end of the song as the girl throws his drink at him, but it does leave the rest of the song with a pretty spiteful taste in my mouth that can’t be avoided by some pretty, 2000s indie rock-esque instrumentals. It doesn’t help that Wilbur Soot is such a non-presence as well, which I can see improving as the band goes on to record more material but the problem is with this early stage is that for now, it’s all rather primitive... yet it’s still charting. Oh, and if any people happen to find this that are fans of this guy, I am terrified of you so I’ll clarify that I don’t dislike this band at all, I’m just not a fan of what I’ve heard. I just wanted to put that out there because I value my personal information.
#74 – “Crocodile Teeth” – Skillibeng
Produced by Adde Instrumentals and Johnny Wonder
So last week, Nicki Minaj re-released her classic 2009 mixtape Beam Me Up Scotty onto official streaming services for the first time, with a remastered mix of some of her classic remixes as well as some new tracks or fan-favourite loosies sprinkled in. Why do I say this in reference to some random unrelated track, you ask? Well, we’ll get back to Nicki later but this song was actually remixed by Nicki and appears on that mixtape, despite baring no resemblance or relation to that mixtape at all, given this was released in 2020. The UK Singles Chart is particularly inconsistent is crediting remixes however, so we have the original here and, for what it’s worth, I quite like this. Skillibeng isn’t the most interesting presence but does his job in being vaguely menacing and violent over this cheap piano-led Afroswing instrumental with some questionable bass mastering. The song is in Patois but you can get the gist that it’s gunplay and flexing, typically stuff you’d hear in any UK drill track and it’s generic for sure but catchy enough to ignore. This version of the song is completely passable but I do think it is elevated by Nicki’s short introductory verse on the remix. I’d obviously have preferred there be more interplay but the remix was probably only known to Skillibeng when Nicki’s lawyers reached out anyway.
#72 – “Straightenin” – Migos
Produced by DJ Durel, Atake, Sluzyyy, OSIRIS, Nuki and Slime Castro
So Migos are finally preparing to release their highly-anticipated record Culture III as the boys are back together after some time apart, in which they have had varying levels of success, with Offset probably delivering the best solo material because he has both the best qualities of Takeoff and Quavo and always delivers on guest verses... I’m sorry, what about this needed six producers? This beat is not bad by any stretch with some vague flute loop eerily played under a rote trap beat, of which the bounced 808s are probably of most interest, but I do not understand how one person, let alone just an AI, couldn’t have made this alone. Regardless, the beat is good enough to make Quavo sound like he finally cares, even if he’s just going to talk about how he just saw Tenet – a bit late to the party – and how he turned a pandemic to a “band-emic”. Yeah, okay, so we’re going to ignore Mr. Quavious and move onto Takeoff and Offset who... at least have some good flows, albeit just the same triplet deliveries they’ve had for years. I think the most interesting part about this whole song is the slippery backing vocal that follows Quavo in the later choruses, which shows an attention to detail I missed from these guys. There’s only so much I can hear Quavo say “don’t nothin’ get straight ‘bout straightenin’” before I lose my mind, though, especially by the time we get to that awkward outro, so I can’t call myself a fan of this. If we’re speaking trap-rap from acts on hiatus, I really would have preferred “Lay wit Ya” by Isaiah Rashad and Duke Deuce to chart but I guess these guys will do.
#64 – “Independence Day Freestyle” – Fredo
Produced by Handz
By the end of this episode, I will never want to hear skittering hi-hats ever again. For now, however, we’ve got the same genre, different country as we go home to Fredo, a British rapper who’s pretty consistently good to be fair to him and did release an album I liked earlier this year. This is just a random freestyle he dropped last week because he felt like it, and here it is on the chart. Okay, well, it isn’t an actual freestyle because nothing that’s called a freestyle actually is in 2021, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a trap banger in itself and it’s got the foundation for it. I love the eerie chipmunk vocal sample that adds a touch of soul to the menacing keys before they get drowned out by trap percussion and Fredo going through his typical rags-to-riches commentary and memories of gang violence in one massive verse that somehow keeps my interest throughout the entire three minutes. The flow is about as smooth as it gets with UK rap, typically a lot stiffer, especially in drill, and the mixing’s fine, so yeah, I can’t really complain. I’d have preferred a chorus, obviously, and there are extended freestyles we’ll talk about later that do this a lot better, but for now, I can dig this, especially considering it’s pretty damn quotable for what it is. “If I fell off, I must have fell off the stairs into some elevators” is a bar, as is when he says he’s got more foreign cars than an Asian wedding or when he calls himself “Lord of the Bling”... okay, maybe that one’s not as impressive.
#62 – “The Great Escape” – Blanco and Central Cee
Produced by LiTek and WhyJay
Central Cee is a more familiar name but you may not know Blanco who, despite the collaboration with Cee making it ripe for comparison and comedy, is not a French white rapper. Rather, he’s from pioneering drill group Harlem Spartans and this is actually his first solo charting song thanks to Cee’s appearance. As you’d expect, this has some loud drill production and vague acoustic guitar loop as well as some stuttering vocal production peppered with dark 808s (that do bang here in all honesty) and pointless alarm sounds. Whilst drill is so standardised now, I do actually like this beat because it’s what I want to hear Cee on; sure, it’s got the guitar and the flutes but it’s also got a sax riff, which is what made “Loading” so fun. Blanco himself is also a more charming presence than Cee and their two energies bounce off of each other pretty well, even if the most witty their punchlines get are just referencing Powerpuff Girls characters... and when they’re not basic, they’re borderline incoherent but whatever, this is a fun slice of misogyny and violence that you’d expect from the genre with at least some care put into it. Not bad at all.
#56 – “Bussdown” – Jorja Smith featuring Shaybo
Produced by Riccardo Damian, Jeff “Gitty” Gitelman and Kal Banx
This is the break-out single from the most recent “project” from Jorja Smith, going the Drake route of not bothering to name it an album, mixtape or EP, and this one features London rapper Shaybo in a track about materialism but not as much embracing it as becoming increasingly alienated by it as whilst wealth may bring you luxury and connections, it detaches you from reality, which is the point in Shaybo’s verses about being Miss Naive, someone who is increasingly aggressive as a result because, well, she always gets what she wants, right? This is not a project I listened to but the content is promising... until I actually hear the song, with its awkward, clattering percussion showered in overwhelming vocal mixing that fails in whatever intimacy it attempts to present, and that’s before the decidedly unsubtle air horns and guitar licks. The song is minimal enough for the content to kind of fall flat as well, as a song like this feels like it deserves more than a slick bass groove, rather some kind of maximalist yet subtlety eerie production. I’m thinking Shaybo would actually make more sense there than she would here as well as her awkward, pathetic-sounding flow is delivered in the most dead-pan cadence, so much so that it drifts off fully into background “vibe” music but even then, it feels too distracting in the mix to work as that. I did want to like this but it just ends up as a really disappointing track from Jorja Smith, once again.
#42 – “Seeing Green” – Nicki Minaj, Drake and Lil Wayne
Produced by GOVI and Kid Masterpiece
We’re half-way through our batch of new arrivals and what better way to celebrate than a posse cut by three rappers long past their prime by now without a chorus that pushes six minutes? Normally, that would be sarcastic, but in this case it is absolutely not as this is awesome. I love 2000s hip-hop and a chipmunk soul-inflected beat blended with early 2010s era proto-trap production is obviously going to appeal to me as that type of contrast is what I love about more lyrical hip-hop, hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was said this was a Kanye beat or more accurately perhaps one by Harry Fraud. It helps that over that gorgeous soul sample we have all three rappers proving they still have it as performers, with some detailed verses from the classic Young Money crew that if nothing else provide a perfect nostalgia button for their era of dominance in hip-hop, not that it’s ever stopped since. I also just love hearing Lil Wayne hungry again, because I am a pretty big fan of his voice, delivery and even some of his wordplay and one-liners, all of which he expresses perfectly in his high-energy verse that switches through flaws as if it were all some off-the-top freestyle, and knowing Wayne, it might as well could have been. I love how he starts his verse off by shooting a guy and then saying it was his bad for doing it because he was a “good cat” and somehow it gets more off the rails afterwards, as he calls his girl a vacuum and says he’s peeing lean, before this self-proclaimed “badonkadonk bikini fiend” reminisces about his bisexual ex from Atlanta in a pretty clever use of repetition in rap. This is all with his sludged drawl of a delivery, which becomes especially important when he calls us all back to 2010 as when Wayne was in prison at his career peak, Drake always said “Free Weezy” and now 10 years later, Wayne’s saying “Free Drizzy” because Drake’s locked up in Canada because of the COVID-19 pandemic... because of course. I know it just seems like I’m itching out tiny little details in the verse but that’s what’s so great about repeated listens to detailed and great rap verses. That’s not to say Wayne is the only stand-out here either as Nicki Minaj impresses with that confident delivery she’s known for as she clarifies her beef with Cardi B being less about her “copying her homework” as it was about her up-hill battle with the industry, she recites how bitches are infamously her sons and delivers some pretty clever and quotable lines of her own, like “brand new Vanilla Maserati, I’ve been Haagen-Daszin’”... which again sounds like a bar straight out of 2010. I think the best verse here might actually be from Drake as much as I hate to say it, with bravado out of the gate that seems pretty deserved for someone with as immense success as he’s had. Not only is he referencing back to 2010 and even his Degrassi days, comparing it to the run-up to his upcoming album since he’s back on two crutches, but he’s also delivering some of his most interesting and quotable lines in years, and it all runs off so effortlessly and smoothly, but with a constant hunger and conviction reminding me of some of his deeper cuts like “Dreams Money Can Buy”. I won’t go further than I already have with this song – even though I could gladly quote practically the entirety of Drake’s verse, even when he aspires to be Vladimir Putin (I guess it’s better than accidentally comparing himself to Hitler) – but I’ve rambled on enough about this wonderful track. Triumphant lyrical rapping over soulful vocal loops will never be a thing I stop having a fondness for; these are some of my nostalgia biases creeping in – especially since these aren’t close to being the best verses any of the trio have delivered – but it’s so great hearing all three back on form together. Check this out if you haven’t as it’s absolutely a highlight off of the mixtape’s re-release.
#37 – “Build a Bitch” – Bella Poarch
Produced by Sub Urban and Elle Rizk
Bella Poarch is a name I had to search up and it turns out she is another one of these TikTok stars turned pop singers and all power to them for starting their career through such a useful and culturally important platform, honestly, and realistically, anyone regardless of their career background could make a song I enjoy, so there’s no use in dismissing them as a result, especially if I actually enjoy the concept of this song. The writing tends to be a bit childish as expected – again, more on that later – particularly when she sings lines like “Bob the Builder broke my heart and told me it needs fixing”, but the song’s theme of embracing young women for how they really are instead of Photoshopped, unrealistic beauty expectations is a message I like being expressed to her audience of teenage girls; I see it as necessary in the social media age. I do think that this message could be expressed with more tact than a Build-a-Bear parody but it never goes the slut-shaming route and is more critical of the men demanding or expecting perfection from their female partners, or on a wider scale the expectation for successful women to follow fashion and beauty trends, especially by men in their industries and fields. Poarch herself is a light-hearted vocalist kind of reminding me a bit too much of a self-serious Ashnikko but the melody in the chorus is infectious enough for me to ignore how void a personality she is. It’s harder however to ignore the stiff 808s that drown out clattering, awkward future-bass production and that drop just being really gross, kind of ruining the song in how it’s clearly a lean towards hyper-pop without fully drawing itself within that lane. Either way, this is fine, and at barely two minutes it struggles to find itself as a finished song let alone anything I can be offended by. This is remarkably okay, and that’s more than I expected.
#16 – “a m a r i” – J. Cole
Produced by T-Minus, J. Cole, Sucuki and Timbaland
These songs don’t even show up when you search them on Spotify and to be honest, I was hoping that would lead to limited success but of course, it didn’t. J. Cole’s latest album The Off-Season is yet another mediocre instalment in a dull catalogue full of rambling verses from a guy who thinks he has much more to say than he actually ends up saying, and it’s exhausting to listen let alone discuss the man’s art out of a sheer lack of personality or wit that follows his every move. His Dreamville label is filled to the brim with people more consistent, skilful and interesting than Cole has ever been so it’s just frustrating to see the label boss get all of the recognition. Regardless, I’ve never liked Cole as an artist – especially not a conscious one given the ableism, homophobia and tone-deaf exchange with Noname just last year – so I’m almost glad he’s stripped off half of the pretence of making a woke, important album. He’s just rapping on this record, which gives me the excuse to run through the rest of these consecutive bores from Cole as quickly as possible. First of all, we have “a m a r i”, a barely sufferable dud from the album scored by a blend of acoustic guitars and squelching trap percussion that fails to platform Cole’s Auto-Tuned moaning, oftentimes just aggravating and barely listenable, and sometimes disguising some pretty weak, topic-less verses for a man who claims to be focused. “Want smoke? I’m a whole nicotine company”  is not the silliest bar on the album, but I’m almost convinced the song ends as abruptly as it does because Timbaland’s embarrassed that he helped produce such an underwhelming beat and not even someone praised as a modern great can save it from being worthless.
#15 – “p r i d e . i s . t h e . d e v i l” – J. Cole and Lil Baby
Produced by T-Minus
One of my favourite hip-hop releases of last year was Aminé’s Limbo, a diverse selection of tracks that ranged from conscious hip-hop about his ambitions and fears about growing up and raising children in a modern world as well as typical trap-rap flexing and R&B crooners about girl problems. All of this is smoothly stirred into a pot of personality that actually attempts to bridge a gap between older and newer generations of rappers rather than just claiming to. “Can’t Decide” is not one of my favourite tracks from that record – “Compensating” with Young Thug executes its ideas just that little bit better for me – but it’s still a fun, R&B-adjacent tune with insanely catchy hooks about Aminé’s relationships. So why did we need a J. Cole remix? This guy sucks the fun out of beats like a vacuum in a bouncy castle, as he sloppily whines in an almost emo-rap cadence over a cheaper West Coast slide he just can’t convincingly sell. Lyrically, Cole focuses on the idea of pride and how it corrupts someone’s morals, criticising the flashing of money and social isolation from the family... both of which seem like Cole’s M.O. at this point, right? Success amidst independence? Platinum without features? This time around, there is a feature however from Lil Baby, who much like Cole claims to be focused in this very focused whilst pick-and-choosing between random trains of thought in his typical frog-throat delivery. Hey, at least Lil Baby flows with less strain and unwarranted, desperate effort that Cole does, and ends up out-shining the primary artist entirely, even if he’s going to “pay silly bands to have sex on the jet”. ..What?
#13 – “m y . l i f e” – J. Cole, 21 Savage and Morray
Produced by WU10, J. Cole and Jake One
The first lines of this song are “Spiralling up just like a rich person’s staircase; no fly zone, please stay out of my airspace”. Cole, I thought pride was the devil! I understand that one can still acknowledge the flaws in their worldview whilst embracing it and engaging themselves in it – that’s really a lot of the point of rags-to-riches rap – but some subtlety or at least some explanation from someone who wants you to see him as focused, woke, hungry and a master of his craft, would have been nice, right? This is Morray’s first charting hit in the UK and I’m glad he’s here as he’s basically what differentiates this from the duo’s prior collaboration “a lot”, a song that not only banged harder but felt smoother and Hell, just more coherent, especially with some soulful production that this new collaboration glaringly rips off. Morray’s biggest hit is “Quicksand” but his mixtape Street Sermons is full of soulful and honest trap-rap that I’d absolutely recommend for gospel flavour on the surface and the lyrical detail behind the bravado being extensive and confidently delivered, especially standing out on his own with no features to speak of. He has the chorus on here and I’m surprised DaBaby doesn’t have the second verse so this could be a North Carolina anthem but we do have 21 Savage, who delivers his typical brand of cold-hearted (or rather no-hearted), stoic paranoia bars but at least that’s a personality. 21 Savage delivers a slick flow over this sample and spits the pretty simple yet profound bar of “I pray that my past ain’t ahead of me”, leading to probably the most enjoyable verse on the whole album. If you couldn’t tell, the new guys outshine the old guard so obviously with so little effort it’s kind of impressive on Cole’s part even. I’m glad this is the biggest hit from this album so far as not only is this one of the best tracks out of a slim selection but it’s big for both 21 and especially Morray, who I’m really rooting for against, say, a Rod Wave or Kevin Gates in terms of southern rap with a lot more soul and grit. Oh, and Cole, “know it’s on sight when I see you like I’m working at Squarespace”? Really? Again, it’s not the dumbest bar on the album.
#2 – “good 4 u” – Olivia Rodrigo
Produced by Alexander 23 and Dan Nigro
It’s pretty fitting to book-end a batch of new arrivals mostly consisting of hardcore gritty trap with two up-beat alternative rock tracks, and I’ll say I prefer this to Lovejoy mostly because, well, like I said with “Seeing Green”, my biases will always be on full and honest display, and as someone who’s a sucker for pop-punk of all eras, especially if it’s a female-fronted band with some youthful, raspy vocals, this will obviously hit for me. Throughout Sour, I found it hard to buy into the teenage melodrama due to Dan Nigro’s production often sounding too clean for its own sake, never allowing the guitars to really crash into some lo-fi, distorted noise like they seem to want to do on tracks like this, “deja vu” and especially the opener, “traitor”. Sadly, that cuts the chances of radio airplay by a ton more than it should, so we end up with mixing that slides off Rodrigo’s reverb-drenched vocals too smoothly, creating a rather formulaic album, unfortunate for its sheer excess of promise. With that said, this is one of my favourite tracks off of the album, if only for that funky bassline and some of Nigro’s most interesting stylistic and production choices, particularly in the drumming, which sounds as organic as possible for something that was programmed by him and Alexander 23. The sarcasm-laced post-break-up kiss-off is already not unfamiliar territory for Olivia Rodrigo and neither was it for Avril Lavigne, which this track tends to sound almost like an imitation of, down to the inconsistently PG-13 image as “screw you” is delivered with as much conviction as the actual F-bomb in the same verse. Regardless of how much it wants to consistently kill its own momentum, this janky songwriting actually reminds me of early Paramore, much of which holds a special place in my heart, so whilst Hayley Williams has been off doing her solo work – and Paramore seem to have moved on from this kind of bitter, petty pop rock anyway – this quenches that thirst pretty effectively.
Conclusion
Olivia Rodrigo bags the Honourable Mention for “good 4 u” as well as it’s one of two songs debuting this week I think are pretty damn special, the other one being “Seeing Green” by Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne and Drake as it grabs Best of the Week. For the worst, I mean, pick your J. Cole-flavoured poison but personally I’d say “a m a r i” can be crowned Worst of the Week with a Dishonourable Mention to... great, I don’t want to seem like I hate J. Cole but nothing else here is even as bad as his Lil Baby collaboration “p r i d e . i s . t h e . d e v i l”. Here’s this week’s top 10:
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Expect two more of those spaces filled up by Olivia Rodrigo next week as whilst we may not get any new entries from her the album will have an impact regardless on the chart. Otherwise, I guess we’ll have to wait and see with how a Queen-sampling BTS song wrecks the chart – probably will give both Olivia and “Body” some #1 competition – as well as new songs from Little Mix, Lana Del Rey, Polo G and Lil Nas X popping up not too far behind it. It should be just as busy next week, folks, so strap in, I suppose. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you then!
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