#ignore the fact i dont use layers

[reallysaneguy]

You know you've been working on something too long when either you start seeing colors or colors suddenly appear

[milosneptune]

another comic for our puzzleswap au with @macrouraa !!

[snitchbo]

I dont know how to explain why this is important

But let's not forget that Parkour Civilization is a meritocracy. A socialist autocratic meritocracy.

I feel people don't dwell on this fact enough, opting to just focus on the capitalist allegories, which is awesome bc the allegory is strong and well made, but the literal government seperate from allegory is ALSO very well made and unique, i mean I've never seen a fictional government quite like it, and it's impressive.

People often struggle to conceive the thought of another government or societal idea, and Evbo managed to make an entire government and social norm completely different from any of our own.

Like, let's break this government (or lack of) down.

Parkour Civilization has a sole and all-powerful ruler, The Champion. Which makes the society autocratic with a dictator.

The "businesses" ( housing stores, buying food and blocks, etc. ) are collectivley owned, not belonging to a single person but rather the community. Especially in higher layers, people receive as much as they give to their society. If they work, they get food, they do extra tasks, they get blocks. It's essentially a Marxist Leninist socialist society, but one that's heavily affected by the meritocracy, which can make it seem more capitalist leaning.

Speaking of Meritocratic society, people often mistake the meritocratic aspects as being outright capitalistic, like the social hierarchies and needing to parkour for basic necessities. HOWEVER this is because the society is structured based on your merits in parkour, those with a higher skill level are placed higher in the social chain. Thats why the Parkour Champion is a dictator, because they're the person who is THE BEST at parkour, making them the most capable to lead society according to meritocracy.

In any case, the fact that people are forced to parkour ALL the time is pretty understandable, considering this government is based on merit. They're encouraging people to show off and practice their parkour because their skill level is the only thing to get them anywhere in society. Based on their merits, they get their bare essentials, and if they have particularly good skill levels, they can rank up in society and have access to better resources.

People also always talk about how Evbo didn't make food and resources accesable for free without parkour, which is kind of where the capitalist lens takes over because those things ARE free. There isn't a system of currency in Parkour Civilization. it's all just MERITS. The fact they can die from parkour and the fact they use language like "buy" and "sell" makes it seem capitalistic, but they dont work and receive currency. The currency is infinite as long as their SKILL SET allows it. People had to worry about the consequence of dying from parkour, which is what made it scarce and less accesable, people werent willing to try. Evbo, however, gave them the ability to try again without consequence, which pretty much DOES make everything free, as free as it gets. They have infinite "currency" based on their skills, and theres no consequence for failing or trying again.

I also feel that when people beg Evbo or the future generations to turn Parkour Civilization into more of a communist society, they're completely ignoring the worldbuilding. That is an insane leap to make, from a society based on parkour abilities to having nothing to do with parkour? "Well, they can still parkour!" They could, but you'd be removing the vitality of it completely. I mean, imagine asking the states to become fully communist? It's an insane change that their society would never make, and thats not the end goal. Society can be functional and good without our interpretation of a utopic government because every society is different.

I love the government in Parkour Civilization. Please hear this. And ask me questions or talk to me about it.

[sissybabycucksophia]

The Adult Baby Adoption Part 5

(This story is complete fiction and although i may desperately wish it isn’t, there is no fact or real world experience behind this story, and themes reflected in the story may be triggering, these themes are not my actual beliefs and are only part of a fantasy kink scenario. Also non of the images belong to me)

After lying there disgusted, ashamed and thoroughly emasculated by Cynthia and Daddy’s wild night of passion I begun to ask myself questions like “is this seriously my life now” and “will I ever feel my dick inside a woman again” a familiar and horrifying feeling began to build in my stomach. Suddenly pain and intense cramps began surging from my gut, and pressure begun building in my bowels I knew exactly what this feeling was! “NO NO NO NO NO!!! I Wont shit myself lying here like this NO I won’t do it, I dont know how but I have to get these layers off! I wont lie here and shit myself like a helpless baby!!” I thought angrily.

Suddenly I begun to violently kick my legs, bouncing my head and torso up and to get the heavy pink duvet off of me. With each bounce of my head the humiliating and irritating feeling of my wigs low ponytails slapping around. Eventually and while clenching my butt hole as tight as I could, the duvet was mostly off my body. Next came a manoeuvre which felt like super spy precision but im sure in fact was more pathetic looking than anyone could dream. While my stomach angrily gurgled I would both sit up and attempt to swivel on my heavily padded ass, swinging the legs of the sleep sack toward the edge of the bed, despite being in the middle of the massive super king size pink 4 poster bed I would use my heels and bend my knees to drag my ass to the edge of the bed.

Next came the stupidest decision I could possibly have made. I mean even if I could somehow stand up with crawl booties on… how was I removing the restraining belt keeping my arms from being useful? The timer lock set for god knows how long? The tied on mittens under the sleepsack mittens? Not to mention getting the diapers off without daddy stopping me?…. All rational questions that a grown man desperate to not shit himself while dressed in a demoralising manner such as this was willing to completely ignore in the pursuit of freedom. And so I would scooch my bum and jump off the bed onto my sleepsack and crawl bootie trapped feet. For a moment… only a mere moment mind you, I managed to stand on my tippy toes like a ballerina and even turned to face the bottom of the bed toward the door. However moments do, this one passed quickly, feeling pain in my toes I would Lose my balance.

Falling forward and with no ability to put my arms out to brace myself I would fall hitting my forehead off the hard wooden bedframe, sharp pain rushed to my forehead as I landed face down next too the bed. Rolling onto my back away from the bed I fell blood running down my forehead and instantly tears filled my eyes again…. In that moment of weakness my ass would relax and into my diapers would explode a warm, gloopy and fowl smelling shit! Feeling it spread itself across my ass and between my legs too my crotch toward my cage I admitted defeat… abandoning any sense of reason or control I began to scream and whale for my Daddy like a baby. Genuine fear and upset ripped through me as I wondered whether my crys would be heeded or whether leaving me on the floor like this was simply to be another step in my demoralisation.

However to my surprise the door would unlock and I would be blinded as someone entered and turned on the ceiling light which I was now staring at. Hurrying over to me, Daddy and Cynthia crouched at either side of me, opening my tear filled eyes my breath trembled and I sniffled as I looked into daddy’s face expecting Anger. To my surprise I was met with genuine concern on his face, sliding an hand under my head he guided my head onto his lap and gently stroked the top of the bonnet that was pathetically tied on my head. “Cynthia, go grab the first aid kit please, Jade needs that head wound tidied up!” Daddy said authoritatively as I watched a total naked Cynthia nod and walk out of the room, it was in that moment that my cage tightened trying to smother the erection of seeing such a stunning woman naked that I realised…. Slowly shifting my focus back to daddy I once again was mortified as there right next to my head lay daddy’s large flaccid cock.

BeforeI could even begin to pull away or struggle daddy began to speak softly too me, “Im so sorry princess, this is all daddy’s fault…”. ‘Finally! Now you see all these layers and restraints were overkill! Good now can you get me out of them!’ I thought as daddy took pause. Continuing softly he added “its all my fault for pushing you to be too independent and too free to move around so early. You’re still just a diaper dependent little girl and to allow you such movement around that bed was stupid of me! I knew I should have had you tightly and safely secured to the bed with those bed restraints Reverend Imelda recommended.” My eyes widened in disbelief, ‘TOO MUCH FREEDOM!!! Seriously!!! The only pieces of skin not completely covered by about six layers is my face!!” I thought in a mix of outrage and fear. But at that the birthday suit Cynthia returned, crouching down next to me she retrieved wipes and a small bottle from the first aid kit. “Lucky for Sissy Jade, I’m a Paediatrician. But thats too big a word for such a little girl, it means I’m a childrens doctor. So I can reassure daddy here that this is just a superficial cosmetic wound, once cleaned up I’ll pinch it back together and seal it with medical superglue!” Cynthia explained as her voluptuous breasts jiggled in my face. Proceeded to do as she said, a piece of me found myself kind of gutted at not needing to go to hospital, maybe there I could have convinced someone to help me. As Cynthia finished dealing with my head, Daddy would evilly press his hand on my crotch and squish, pushing the now cold gloopy shit around my groin. The feeling made me want to rip everything off just to get that horrible feeling off my skin, “nope, seems like the laxatives and diuretics i put in your dinner havent quite fully emptied your bowels in here… no changes till the morning then.” Daddy cooed ‘Laxatives!! Diuretics!!?? You bastard!!!’ I thought as Cynthia packed up the first aid cut, but not before humiliating me by showing me the bow shaped, Disney’s Minnie mouse inspired band aid 🩹 which she stuck over my now sealed wound.

At that to my surprise Daddy would Hoist me up into his arms as he stood up. Once again held in a princess carry I asked through the pacifier as best I could “hare Aaaa oooo Aaachhing eee oww?” To which Daddy responded, “for tonight, since your bed clearly is not safe, You’ll sleep in bed with mommy and daddy tonight!” To which my cage once again smothered a humiliation induced erection. Why!? Why was he doing this! Surely he wanted to torture me! As I was carried into daddy’s bedroom I was in awe of its sleek black and gunpowder grey modern aesthetic, so masculine and confident in its design. A complete and total contrast to what was now to be considered my room. Carrying me over to the massive super king size bed Daddy would place me down smack in the middle of the bed, he and Cynthia would then laugh and flirt with each other before Cynthia lay down to my left. Pressing her body against my sleepsack imprisoned for and her breast right next to my head I begun to wonder whether I’d been deliberately positioned lower in the bed than Cynthia. At that Daddy entered the ensuite bathroom and I heard the shower start up, and with that Cynthia’s hand would begin to gently caress my cheek, “did you try to escape and do that to your head because hearing real adults have sex made you feel pathetic and inadequate? Thats hilarious! Im gonna be honest with you sissy… I’m gonna try convince your daddy that from now on you should be in a crib in the room when we’re having sex since you are clearly too young and ill behaved to be left alone~” in a moment of frustration and humiliation I forgot about my restraints and attempted to swat her hand away from my face however all I could manage was a small jarring motion which simply made Cynthia stop and go silent for a moment before bursting into laughter.

After the shower sound stopped I would hear a phone ringing and daddy answering it in the bathroom, unfortunately through the wig, the bonnet and being smooshed into Cynthia I was unable to clearly make out the conversation. When daddy re-entered he would lay down naked but at least clean, on the opposite side from me than Cynthia. Rolling toward me to look over my head at Cynthia I was disgusted feeling his huge cock slap against my the thigh region of my sleepsack. Mortified by all that was happening I watched daddy and Cynthia talk. “Looks like my little jadey bear has a playdate tomorrow, that boy from the church apparently! How exciting!! My beautiful little girl attracting boys already” Daddy said to Cynthia as she simply giggled and laughed. As daddy spoke I was unable to stop from peeing into my shit piss and cum filled diaper, ‘boy? Oh god? Who does he mean? That disgusting pervert that hump me to orgasm in his diapers? Or the beautiful woman forced to be a baby boy?!!’ I thought.

At that daddy would kiss my forehead before rolling me over onto my side so my face was nuzzled in his chest and I felt his huge cock press against my crotch, Cynthia then shuffled in tight to my back pressing her huge breasts against the back of my neck so that they could lie foreheads touching. Never in my life had I felt so unbelievably humiliated, emasculated and weak… and yet so desperate to orgasm as much cock ached in its cage. Eventually as the lights turned off I was helpless but to simply fall asleep cradled between my new caregivers…. Dreaming of what hell awaited me on my playdate.

[abyssalaquarist00]

do you have any thoughts on alhazred vis a vis his religious beliefs? i legit thought he might be lapsed sikh or some fantasy mash up of sikh/muslim, but i wanna hear your thoughts!

oh i have a lot of thoughts about alhazred's religion.

firstly, i'm coming at this with my own agnostic catholic muslim background.

second, ive also layered it with historical influence from the Islamic Golden Age as i hc him to be from a sort of fantasy al-andalus (with his ancestor being the original author of the necronomicon, something he would not find out until he began the path to the occult). abrahamic religious scholars, regardless of book, talked to each other so theres some overlap to be considered.

third, this may or may not come up but also another consideration: religious doesnt necessarily mean spiritual. religious, and religion, in a theological and historical context basically means a way of life.

that all being said, lets get into it

may or may not be coherent lol

i think wrt his religion, he was raised muslim but ultimately is agnostic and has been influenced by other abrahamic religions, and non-abrahamic philosophies, in his practice. i think he was drawn to mysticism through astronomy, as astrological "magic" was a feature in those medieval texts like the picatrix (ghayat al hakim) and knowledge of the sun (shams al maarif). Let's Talk Religion has a video on astrological "magic" that ive yet to watch but i trsut him about the topic bc hes very respectful and has worked with liana alsaif b4 (who is very prominent in the west rn for her studies in the islamicate occult sciences)

its also important to recognize the way religion gets interwoven with culture (hence religion as a way of life, and not just an organization), and that can be hard to separate from anyone. i know plenty of people who dont practice islam anymore but will have some sentiments or practices that remain bc of their upbringing.

i think he talks to the priest at the hamlet's church, and that he prays toward Mecca on a few occasions. i think he sits in the pews and participates on a sunday every now and then. he makes use of holy verses and the names of god, or the prophets and angels, for his talismans.

when he prays, sometimes the black beast or some other entity answers instead. if prayer is like a one-way communication to God, his meddling in the occult has obscured that and opened a two-way with entities from beyond. the true test of strength would be if he can ignore them and fight to deliver his prayer to God

i also wouldnt be surprised if the "dark" entities could maybe be classified as djinn, since in islamic canon djinn live on another dimension on earth and are typically invisible (but can make themselves shown)

i think he also feels some guilt, or shame, for having opened thet connection especially bc his students had to die for it. its buried so deep inside of him thats hes almost over it. maybe. the path he went differs from standard islamic occult science, but he keeps justifying it because he's using it for good. if anything will keep him up at night, it's this. he might pray about it.

since its ramadan ive been thinking about whether or not he fasts for it and i think on any other year he does, but since hes fighting all the time he wont be doing it traditionally. he'll have some goals to work on instead.

whether or not he does, he will follow a lunar calendar. for both religious practices or scientific practices.

i think he and the vestal get along w religious talks, but talking to reynauld is hell (lol) bc hes deadset on his specific way of religion that alhazred avoids the topic altogether with him or does small things to piss him off on purpose.

he will never judge anyone for their religious practices so long as they dont judge him for it. i like to think he is very patient and merciful, as those are some important elements to islam.

i personally operate on the fact that God, according to islam, is the Most merciful entity out there and that whatever i do can be forgiven if i seek redemption. there's a story about a serial killer who goes to heaven about that, one of my faves to pick at the philosophy of. kind of goes with the pope's "i hope hell is empty" statement.

i think alhazred would be the same way though. theres a tiny part of him banking on the probability that God DOES exist, that he will be forgiven because he's ultimately fighting for good. he has also accepted that there is a chance that he will suffer, and that he would deserve it because of what happened to his disciples. he has accepted that his fate will he what it is, and that he will continue his path to find out his end.

when he gets stressed out he counts his prayer beads, and if hes REALLY stressed, guilty or shameful then he'll start meditating (which can be a form of prayer also)

at the end of the day, he is just a scholar fighting to keep the world alive. he's muslim when he has to defend the faith, he may or may not be on any other day.

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

SOME NAMEKIAN SPECULATIVE BIOLOGY FOR FUNZIES

or: why do namekians look like that? : the sequel to "why does namek look like that"

disclaimer: im no dragon ball expert, or biology expert, this is all just for fun and my own personal satisfaction because thinking about alien biology makes me very excited. what im doing is a little closer to hard sci-fi than the type of sci-fi generally present in the franchise, and i am straight up ignoring some aspects of canon here to make a version of namekian physiology that feels more realistic and interesting to me personally, so this is more of an au than an analysis (but i mean. this is an extremely retcon-able franchise anyway) also im of the opinion that namekians are in fact not ken dolls down there, and im gonna talk about what i think they might have going on so JUST A WARNING in case that sorta thing grosses u out or whatever. i can and will speculate about namekian junk 👍also this ended up running kinda long so... click at ur own risk!

CANON STUFF IM IGNORING (for now)

namekians getting bigger

this happens in db and super hero movie. but im ignoring it because it doesnt make sense and isnt interesting enough for me to magical hand-wave it away. like supposedly it gives piccolo no greater strength than at his normal size yet it gives him more leverage when pushing cell?? also if hes the exact same strength that kind of implies to me that he has like …. the same mass too… which unless piccolo is SUPER dense already (and i dont see him breaking any floor boards.. but maybe thats why hes outside all the time) then his super low density would make him kinda…. weak… kind like how its easier to blow away an open sheet of paper than a balled-up sheet of paper. im sure there are some ways you could make this fun but the franchise just doesn't do anything interesting enough with this for me personally so im ignoring it

eggs coming out the mouth

this is a controversial one SORRY it just makes absolutely zero sense to me… they obviously at minimum drink and breathe out of their mouths why on earth would their eggs exit from there too… im also going to argue that even though they dont need food they do in fact have a digestive system so unless their mouth is the most horrible cloaca in the world they have more than one major orifice anyway (can you imagine having a tongue and teeth down there..) if this is really important to you then maybe this could be something certain namekians CAN do but generally dont, or its something that like . king piccolo can do specifically (because hes like. an evil demon or whatever. i dunno im not super familiar with dragon ball demon lore tbh)

also like... even if you REALLY wanna stick to the idea of namekians as a species that doesn't require food and never did, they should still have liquid waste. even plants have liquid waste. and since namekians dont seem to be shedding off big outer layers of skin on the reg (though this could be a neat concept, i like the idea of someone encountering a piccolo-husk) it makes sense that they'd have an additional orifice for shedding waste anyway. so it just makes sense to give that orifice one more job. even as narrow as namekian hips are, the egg has a whole lot more space than it would if it went through their fucking throat

NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT COVERED:

🟢⭐DISPELLING COMMON NAMEKIAN BIOLOGY MYTHS⭐🟢

or, stuff that's commonly assumed to be canon that i think is not

FIRST MYTH: namekians cannot eat and digest food, and have always sustained themselves off of exclusively water

they CAN sustain themselves off of water, but i think of them as being able to eat and benefiting from food in certain ways. there's been some examples of them eating, but im not really concerned with the fringe examples of namekians eating from video games, rather we know namekians either have or used to have the capacity to consume food because they have teeth! (and a tongue, and a uvula!)

and from the looks of it, some serious canines too! they dont just eat, they eat meat! given their ability to fight and create weapons, i think of namekians as likely being or having at some point been omnivorous apex predators like homo-sapiens. if you wanna believe that they don't actively need to eat anymore, then id like to think that some dragon ball magic had to happen to accelerate namekian evolution, because there's just way too many vestigial structures otherwise - if you're hand-waving the amount of energy required for namekians to be able to move around as much as they do, and assume that they photosynthesize or something like plants, and don't mate (which im about to argue against but we'll get to that) then...why would they even evolve to walk around at all? what im thinking is that namekians do need to eat, just very infrequently as we see in canon, and just used to need to eat a lot more. im attributing this change in namekians need for food to the big ecological disaster that gets talked about in dbz, so you could think of them as having pre-disaster biology and post-disaster biology, which accounts for namekians being able to sustain themselves on so little while also being a species that has so many body parts just for eating, and that eventually farms and has advanced technology. pre-disaster namekians ate frequently, possibly requiring a calorie content comparable to humans, and post-disaster biology occurred so that namekians could survive the kind of ecological disasters that guru lives through - and that they likely have to live through quite frequently on a planet with the kind of tides namek would have, being a planet with three suns and all. lots of tsunamis, earth-quakes (namek-quakes?), etc. so maybe a sequence of these disasters caused them to evolve to need very little food. so, like i said, if you'd like to think of them as needing no food, then the dragon balls would have to be involved for me to find that believable that since a mouth full of parts clearly meant for eating is just too evolutionary expensive to stick around as vestigial structures for any other reason.

but assuming they aren't completely vestigial, then there's a few different options we can consider, like that post-disaster namekians can survive without food and under extreme circumstances for a very long time, but they still gotta eat, like, once in a while. my current favorite theory is that they're a bit like tardigrades, and post-disaster they've evolved (or magic'd) into extremeophiles. that is that, they can survive extreme circumstances, such as going almost indefinitely without eating, but they enter a sort of cryptobiosis-like state where some of their functions stop working, such as reproduction and development. in other words, not eating won't kill them, but if a namekian wants to grow or have children, then they're gonna have to eat. they'd also likely rarely experience a hunger or desire for food because of this.

this would explain why all the namekians who are stated or implied to have had children look like they're carrying body fat. they're the ones who eat food! it just doesnt really make sense for that to just be the results of them aging... the fats gotta come from somewhere. and even for humans, atrophying due to aging comes as often in the form of losing weight as it does gaining it, but we've yet to see an older looking namekian who's thin. rather it makes more sense to think that these namekians were eating since they were planning to produce offspring, and rather than eat too little and have their egg come out underdeveloped, they eat more than they need to develop the egg and the rest of the energy gets stored away as fat, possibly never to be used since their cryptobiosis-like state where they don't need food is sort of a default for them once they're fully developed.

it would also explain why dende ages so much differently from both piccolo and gohan (besides retconning) piccolo just kind of jumps to adult form - much faster than both humans and saiyans, while dende's development kind of seems to freeze for a few years. their development, rather than being stunted, can just be frozen indefinitely if needed. (why dende is choosing not to develop i have no explanation for... he's just in no hurry i guess? or just isnt hungry? maybe there's some cultural explanation there) this goes well with namekians being a long-lived species too. if there's no food or very little food available until they're 100 years old, then they can just wait until they're 100 to finish developing and reproduce.

there's also something to be said here about how namekians dont have separate sexes but there are still kind of two types: "warrior" and "dragon clan" namekians, and maybe they have differences in development too, like warrior namekians needing to eat more often than dragon clan namekians, who might only ever feel the need to eat while developing or while producing offspring. although, i'd personally rather think of that distinction as more cultural than it is biological, as it's just more interesting to me that way. like, the natural genetic diversity that makes some namekians more equipped for fighting would cause them to choose or be chosen to become battle-types.

SECOND MYTH: namekians reproduce exclusively asexually

a lot of people assume this since asexual reproduction is the only type of namekian reproduction we see or hear about, BUT I DONT THINK ITS TRUE! they CAN reproduce asexually, but they have a LOT of genetic diversity, even more than most sexually reproducing species. so WAY to much to be an exclusively asexually reproducing species. just look at any picture of a group of namekians, they're clearly not all clones of each other.

toriyama said in an interview that they "may be hermaphrodites" and i like that! being a species of simultaneous hermaphrodites that can also self-fertilize goes well with the whole slug thing too, so thats the reproduction method that i think makes the most sense.

some species produce a small number of offspring at a time and invest more heavily into their offspring, and some species produce a large number of offspring at a time and don't invest very much into each individual, using the larger number as their reproductive strategy since the majority of their offspring will die off (think elephants on one end of the extreme, and spiders being the other end). given that namekians appear to only be able to have one child at a time, and seem to have tight-knit social groups that seem to care a lot for their children indicates a lot of investment into each child, so it just doesn't make sense to me that they would only be able to reproduce asexually anyway, as that tends to fit better with the reproductive strategy of having a large number of offspring who mostly die off. i think of sexual reproduction as being their preferred method, and asexual reproduction as being the alternative method they've evolved as extremeophiles, only choosing this method when there aren't any other namekians around to get genetic material from.

🟢⭐WHAT IM EXTRAPOLATING FROM THESE THINGS⭐🟢

knowing that namekians reproduce sexually means we can do some fun extrapolation about how they do about that ! (or, fun to me at least. are we not all excited about namekian junk??)

SO namekians obviously have to breathe, we see piccolo breathing all the time - android 17 even points it out at some point - and like i said i think of them as having digestive tracts (again, whether you'd like to think of them as vestigial or otherwise is up to you) so it kind of just makes more sense for their internal stuff to be structured like us primates in the same way so much of their external stuff is. seeing the way piccolo breathes (and like. has a nose on his face) indicates that their respiratory systems are in their chests too, and their clothes seem to cover all the same bits we cover, so they probably have at least one other major orifice down there. either they have just one orifice for both expelling waste and mating like a cloaca, as amphibians and reptiles do, or they have more than one like we and most other mammals do. you could pretty much justify any genital situation you want, hermaphroditic slugs have penises*, and so do primates of course, so if you like the idea of piccolo having a dick there's justification for it 👍there's honestly ways to justify all kinds of genital situations. its the only external part of namekian bodies we never actually see, so if this sorta thing interests you like it does me, get creative! use ur imagination! the only thing that i feel would have to be pretty set it stone for me to believe it would be at least one orifice for expelling waste and eggs and for in-taking sperm (or sperm packages...yknow how it is with slugs) and this same orifice could also expel sperm as cloacae do if you wanna go no-penis route, it just doesnt have to. they could be mostly internal or mostly external, or internal until they're about to be used, or internal until a certain stage in development, whatever boats your float. again, many options here. i encourage you to imagine the version of namekian genitals that pleases you the most.

im also imagining that namekians can store sperm for later fertilization too (like slugs!), since it kind of doesn't make sense to me that such a small population would have so much genetic diversity after all descending from a single member otherwise. so im imagining that guru had sperm stored up from various other namekians before the big extinction, and that guru's first batch of sons had two genetic parents - that is, guru himself and whatever namekian's sperm he had stored. and possibly even more than two! some species can have three or more genetic parents, which would do a lot to help increase the genetic diversity of a population after a huge population wipe-out like the one referenced in the namek saga of dbz.

also, sexual reproduction means sexual selection! since we're assuming all namekians are the same sex, any primary or secondary sex characteristics would apply to all namekians, but that doesn't mean there wouldn't be any selection. whether an individual in a breeding pair would choose to take on the male or female role would depend on a LOT of factors, for example being the male would be less costly, but if sperm can be stored it wouldn't guarantee it would be used, and in circumstances where few breeding partners are available, taking on the female role would be more advantageous (which, as we've established, is a situation namekians would be frequently subjected to). not to mention all the cultural circumstances that would influence which role is more advantageous at any given time. im thinking that most namekians would probably experience being both roles at some point in their lives, depending on these circumstances.

anyway, i find it fun to think about the traits that namekians would consider desirable in a mate. for a species like namekians, a lot of those traits would probably be cultural, which id like to tackle later in another post, but in the mean time i wanna talk about what physical traits that namekians might register as secondary sex characteristics. like i said their primary sex characteristics, like genitals and internal organs, are a bit of a mystery, BUT there's one trait that namekians have that i don't think can be explained any other way than as a secondary sex characteristic!

WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE PINK MARKINGS!! there isn't really any reason for their skin texture to be different in these sections, and it's obviously not providing any sort of camouflage. they're super bright, and contrast directly with the rest of their skin.

also, it looks like its absent on babies! so... LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A SECONDARY SEX CHARACTERISTIC! im thinking that these markings are a sign of sexual maturity and health, like pubic and armpit hair in humans, or like peacock plumage. they also look kind of... muscle accentuating? the horizontal stripes serve to emphasize these curves a bit. which means that this is a trait that at least some namekians are selecting for. apparently some namekians find big muscles sexy... NEAT!! though given their variety, and given the fact that "warrior" namekians are in the minority, it's certainly not the only thing they're selecting for. as a long-lived species with no gestation period (because of the eggs), namekians would probably benefit from mating with a diverse variety of partners over the course of their lives. lots of fun material for cultural worldbuilding here!

🟢⭐OTHER MISCELLANEOUS IDEAS⭐🟢

~another fun reproduction option~

so... namekians dont actually have to be simultaneous hermaphrodites. dende doesn't seem to have any concept of sex, but it might just be because his concept of sex is inextricably linked to his concept of age, so the "two types" of namekian may just be old and young. namekians are hierarchical, and their hierarchy isn't linked to any sex they have at birth or assigned gender role from that sex, but it is based on age. this hierarchy could easily just be cultural, possibly a cultural consequence of the oldest namekian being responsible for preventing extinction of the species, but if it isn't just cultural, then their hierarchy actually kind of resembles clownfish hierarchy, and clownfish are sequential hermaphrodites. they're all born male, and then whenever the dominant female in a group dies, the largest and strongest (and generally, oldest) male becomes female and takes over. fish are also pretty much the only hermaphroditic vertebrates, so it makes sense to model namekians after them, too.

other people have pointed out that older namekians are colored a bit differently than younger namekians, but we never really see this happen gradually. that is, we never see a middle-aged namekian with a skin tone between these two tones, so there isn't really any reason to think that it's a gradual consequence of them aging. you can kind of assume from this then that the color change comes from a sort of second puberty, as a result of their sex change - or rather, sex addition, as they still have the ability to self-fertilize after this. so before they change their sex, namekians only have the ability to fertilize other namekians, and can't produce their own off-spring asexually, whereas after changing their sex namekians can produce their own offspring, and can self-fertilize but can't fertilize other namekians. also for some namekians, it also looks like the pink and red part turns yellow and orange, so that could be indicative of a part of their sex change too? we do see the pink on king piccolo, but it seems strange to me that it would "fade" to that color as a result of atrophy due to aging, so im thinking it might be something that triggers when they change their sex too.

~alternatative explanation for the canine thing~

if you don't like the idea of a species as peaceful as namekians being meat-eaters, i have another explanation for you! having teeth at all definitely indicates a species that consumes food, however those sharp-looking canines don't have to have evolved as a consequence of eating meat. there's at least one herbivore with big sharp fangs too!

CHECK THIS FREAK OUT !! water deers have fangs for the same reason other hooves animals have antlers! so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to think of namekians as having their sharp canines for the same reasons. it could be a fun secondary sex characteristic!

ALRIGHT THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW THANKS FOR READING!! I HAD A LOTTA FUN WRITING THIS feel free to argue abt any points made here btw!! if anyone's got any ideas about namekian biology id love to hear em!

[wolfertinger]

salem has incredibly narrow, self-serving, and ultimately harmful view of trans identity. and that hurts. its a gut punch to start peeling back the layers and seeing how his perspective wasnt as inclusive or affirming as i once thought. its just a filtered, idealized projection of what he wanted transness to be, rather than a reflection of the diverse experiences that actually exist.

the way salem treats trans men is particularly insidious because it mimics the same kind of rhetoric that TERFs use. this idea that medical transition is inherently bad, that testosterone makes people worse, and that trans men are just poor confused souls who are “ruled by dysphoria.” it strips trans men of their agency and reduces their experiences down to a harmful, patronizing narrative. the fact that he constantly talks about T in such a negative way, implying that it makes people angrier, less desirable, and somehow fundamentally worse, feeds directly into the kind of transphobic discourse that right-wingers and gender-critical types love to push.

whats frustrating is that this wouldnt even be as much of an issue if he were just honest about his artistic biases. if he just admitted, “hey, i like drawing feminine trans men and hyper-feminine trans women with exaggerated features because thats what I enjoy,” then fine. at least that’s transparent. but no, he frames his work as some kind of holy grail of trans representation while simultaneously reinforcing narrow, unrealistic, and deeply dysphoria-inducing depictions of trans bodies. thats where it becomes harmful.

because heres the thing. representation isnt just about drawing trans people. its about how theyre represented. all his trans women have the exact same hyper-sexualized features and all his trans men conveniently avoid the masculine changes that T brings. what hes actually doing is reinforcing an extremely limited (and frankly fetishized) version of transness. its not about making trans people feel seen. its about making him comfortable.

and that “collective trauma” nonsense? thats just another way of erasing trans mens experiences. trans men don’t exist as an extension of womanhood, and they dont need to embrace femininity to be happy. the idea that all trans mens dysphoria is just “internalized misogyny” is literally regurgitated TERF ideology. its the same argument used to invalidate trans existence altogether.

it makes total sense why his work started making people uncomfortable. sometimes that discomfort is your gut recognizing something’s off before your brain fully processes it. we saw what felt like representation, but over time, the patterns became impossible to ignore. and when you realize that someone you once found comfort in actually harbors some really harmful and regressive views, it leaves you feeling betrayed.

the frustration is 100% justified. and honestly, its a good thing that people critically analyzing the media they consume. not all representation is good representation. if someone’s version of “trans visibility” only uplifts one kind of transness while subtly shaming and erasing the rest, then they arent actually advocating for trans people. theyre just indulging their own preferences under the guise of activism. and thats exactly what salem is doing.

.

[karolldr1]

u draw them a lot and seem to have many thoughts on them and i would like to hear them- what is marx and marx soul's relationship to eachother? is marx soul himself from an alternate universe? a ghost? past memory?

thank u for your time. also your color choices are so pretty, do you have any tips on how you choose them. like is it a specific layer setting or just instinctive

Oh, now this post is LONG, i will add the "read more" if you wanna read abt my Marx Soul interp. and the way i manipulate colors, read down below

[Interpretation might change over time]

Oh so this is quite the golden question, and im very happy to answer this one

Marx Soul is an anomaly, more specifically, a timeline anomaly, he was SUPPOSED to die, but he kiiind of ended up creating another timeline that wasnt supposed to exist by merely the fact that he barely survived, which made the timeline by itself an anomaly in which he managed to escape (i will try to create a 'how' later, i didnt think about that ^^")

But of course, his plans still dont go like he wants so, and ends up in the timeline we know, not exactly without a physical body, more like in the verge of nonexistence, similar to a ghost except that if he doesnt find someone to possess he literally just disappears and never comes back, he needs to BELONG to the main timeline to continue his existence, due to him being from a timeline that was supposed to dissappear

Thats when he finds Marx (well, more like his silhouette, Marx Soul's biggest inconvenience is him being kinda blind, he sees nothing except the silhouette of people [This is because of the explosion, being VERY bright, and Nova, which makes him see the silhouettes])

Oh, at first, after "possesing" Marx, he wanted to TORMENT him, due to the envy of Marx's timeline going better than his, because being mad at himself for failing the plan of getting his wish AND because, since Marx Soul DESPISES Kirby, he can't get how Marx can stand him and be FRIENDS with him, this timeline is just too alien for Marx Soul

Initially Marx didnt like Marx Soul either, he didnt understand what is he nor how is he with him tormenting him every second, he literally would want to remove him and throw him out the window! but he cant because Marx Soul starts off as someone intangible!

Eventually they do get close to eachother due to the fact that they have no choice, Marx Soul tends to be a bit more childish but WAY more aggressive than Marx, he also gives Marx influence for "" prankless harms""" (in other words, getting others hurt for the sake of mischief), Marx doesnt really ignore him, but modifies the pranks so they dont harm THAT much

So yea, thats basically it ^^"

About the colors...

When it comes to choosing colors, its mostly about playing with the color wheel, remember those images that say many color combinations with the color wheel?

Yea, i do use them, more specifically, Analogous for shading and Complementary or Triadic for highlights (but sometimes analogous too)

When it comes to manipulating shading, i barely desaturate colors (aka doing this)

The only times where i use it, its in the transition between red and pink, due to the shading not being dark enough

Also, to make the shading more smooth, i add some transition, i dunno how to explain it correctly, but you can see it in this drawing, especially in the eyes

And overall, have fun messing with the colors, thats the most important part ^^

[planet4546b]

something that always fascinates me is how different stories can be told in different mediums and particularly how a story can utilize its medium to the fullest. like if someone were to adapt house of leaves into a podcast or movie, the story couldnt be the same, and it would have to change to utilize that medium in the same way the novel uses its own, etc. and how the podcast archive 81 uses its format so well and how it being a podcast is so central to its story that it likely couldnt be told as is in any other form (ignore that there was a netflix adaptation.)

this all to say: are there any mediums (other than its intended form) that S/N could be told through that would still be able to tell its story? are there any forms that absolutely would not work? and, in a less serious question: what genre would it be if it became a story album (or several albums)?

ohhhhh this is such a fun question. also thank you for reminding me i Really need to get on listening to archive 81.

in general, i think that the hardest thing to adapt it into would be something purely or largely visual (tv, movie, graphic novel) because samira is Such an obscure character that if you dont have any access at all to her interiority in some way she will be completely and utterly incomprehensible. while i think the challenge of how i would adapt something that in a lot of ways is an anthology to a tv show and how i would show things that sort of resist visualization like the mar in a visual format, i think in general the fact that the audience accepts What is shown to them as True in largely visual works makes signoise hard work. it would have to be something fight club-y where the whole point is its own unreliability. this is funny because for a while i was planning on it being a comic. ??

i could make it work Well enough in a linear novel (though i wouldnt be happy), but i think it would really shine as something like a magnus archives style podcast, with each ep mostly being about one of her histories and then samira chiming in to editorialize at the end (samira interiority through editorialization works the best for her as opposed to something like an internal monologue, because it lets you come at what shes thinking kind of sideways, and i like having that room for misinterpretation). id be interested in how it would work as a game, something like season a letter to the future that lets you have a direct hand in constructing samiras history as a mechanic is interesting to me, although i think if i gamified it i would add one more layer of remove and have the pc be someone trying to put together samira's story rather than being samira herself. weirdly enough it works REALLY well as a musical of all things, which i have extensive notes on because i said it as a joke + a bit of a writing exercise (the 'what parts would you make songs' type) and then i was like. Waaaaaait. the thing i like SO much about musicals is that that's the only format where i can convince myself to let samira say her motivations out loud to the audience, because of how musicals + song progression + emotions go. i have a post im typing up on the signoise musical bc its fun but like, the most fun part is that samira gets the villain songs for most of the show, and then RIGHT at the end she gets a huge i want song and then leaves the stage for the rest of the show. this i want song is the only version of signoise where samira says out loud 'what i want is to go home' and she can only do it because shes trapped in that genre and is a character not in control of her actions. YIPPEE!

signoise concept album would rule tbh. honestly 47 by the cosmonaut cassettes despite being in a different literary genre (sci fi) is a pretty big inspo for signoise in a lot of ways, and i think id likely choose something like that where songs are in a variety of genres. i want to be able to have my experimental ambient decade tracks, my pit orchestra playwright tracks, my fake folk songs and hymns for bell, my gracedarce nightvale weather.....i think in the same way that some of the central tracks in 47 are specifically inspired by tallahassee the mountain goats, i would want my central samira tracks to be inspired by another album and referential to that. im gonna be honest i would likely choose from the sea to the land beyond sea power. for vibes.

[maxdanposts]

im delirious and i don't mnow what is happening with caesium and flesh speirits But i'm intirgued

this is normal because if youre not one of the 3 other people in my group chat then this will likely not make any sense 🫶 worsened by the fact that i wrote a thing for it but didnt post it here bc i dont like it & its not really factual anymore anyway this whole thing was just something to get me to write but then it got out of control but the basics: - its not set in our world but the general vibe is 18-19th century - caesium is guy that got cursed and has been seeking to get that curse removed. this is like the main thing. hes the main guy. - there is another guy called fortis that he knew back in the academy & that he turned to help cuz he ran out of options. hes the second main guy - the whole magic & spirits thing is based on the idea of "what if everything is animal". its basically biology flavoured magic. view it through that lens - there are a couple general types of magic but the ones i mostly decided on are the ones where one uses their ability to amplify the will of a certain element while trying to "convince" said element to act in their own interests(example: you want the ground to smash a guy, which will involve you making it want to do that and allowing it to do that . bc ground normally cant do much quickly) and the ones where you more hijack the workings of stuff that actually has a mind - spirits are animal-like things that live in a different layer of this dimension but that mostly feed off of things in this one, their ability to change this reality proportional to their power, which can be amplified by feeding them. one kind is misery spirits, feeding off of misery but which you can make act in your favour. the kinds of acts depend on their "species", with some affecting and feeding off of nightmares, other affecting and feeding off of pain, etc. - i ont know what else to add. ask if you have more questions on the general thing i guess .

sighs. i guess ill also link the thing i wrote.......... warning once again i wrote it very early on & it does not reflect much anymore except like general worldbuilding stuff(and im still not sure about how much) so just. ignore the character stuff ok. like even the curse conditions are not the same anymore. did i mention that its bad and outdated and i dont like it anymore. anyway link

[sabaramonds]

20 fic asks meme

tagged by @izanyas 🐋

How many fics on AO3? 93

Total AO3 Word Count? 405.5k

Top 5 by Kudos? they say there's good grief with 5,277 (demon slayer) (i need to edit this fic on god), the reason i cant sleep with 3,142 (csm), coat fell, heart swells with 1,343 (bsd), my heart is thrilled by the still of your hand with 883 (bsd), theres a hunger under my skin and its gripping my bones with 871 (tgcf) (i havent reread this since i posted im scared to) i think my top fic aside from they say theres good grief was an aotu fic i wrote but i orphaned it bc i was so embarrassed by how bad the smut was even though the chinese fandom loved it and would go out of there way to comment on ao3 and not just the translators lofter acct. im sorry aotu nation ill write another anlei fic someday and itll be better i prommy

What fandoms do you primarily write for? i post wherever my heart takes me...

Do you respond to comments? not always because 1. i dont always know what to say except 'omg thank you' 2. i dont like that author replies count as comments. but if theres a direct question or something someone noticed got me excited i might give a longer reply than usual lol

Angstiest Ending? im a happy or at least hopeful ending enjoyer so im not sure. uh, maybe 'equal measure' by virtue of witchs heart being...witchs heart. or 'you will define me with a knife' my ethan nakamura study fic originally written in 2012/2013

Happiest Ending? UMMMM most of them

Do you get hate? not necessarily hate but ive had some strange comments on a few fics, mainly the ones dealing with themes of sexual assault & recovery. i usually just delete them or ignore them. i think the craziest moment of my life was someone getting me excommunicated from an entire friend group for writing about a teenager grappling with the aftermath of an assault but that was like. drama that didnt need to exist and not hate. but it was crazy

Do you write smut? yeah i think its fun :) i especially like using sex as a vehicle for character study/peeling apart their layers like onions

Do you write crossovers? i love crossovers. i need to write more. i need to revisit this one i was working on with ro....also since khr is making a comeback i might revisit my khr/bnha fusion

Ever had a fic stolen? i dont know ❤

Ever had a fic translated? YES! several times, into chinese and russian, i think also vietnamese and maybe spanish? its always so exciting!!

Have you ever co-written a fic? heh...me and @izanyas collab on the sukuita series had i known it for a dream, i would not have awakened. though there isnt much sukuita at this point its largely character/relationship studies

All time favorite ship? you cant ask me this....i have too many....though i recently blacked out and wrote several chihiro/hiruhiko fics in rapid succession so theres that. also ivanluka the world some all time favorite classics that i never stop appreciating though: touma/accelerator (raildex), snake of clearing eyes/haruka (kagepro), tendershipping (ygo), king of despair/black (kkss)...theres a pattern here

WiPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will? this is my formal apology for never posting the 2nd half of my akiteru/tenma hq fic or working on more of my golden rose theater naib/luca/norton fic

Your writing strengths? um. i dont know ❤ maybe atmosphere

Writing weaknesses? it used to be dialogue-heavy scenes but i think ive improved a lot in that regard the past few years so idk....

Thoughts on mixed language dialogue? i think it can be done really well but sometimes it feels like. okay those voltron fic memes about lance werent joking some fics really do feel oh sure just throw in some words to be exotic sounding. i was listening to a review of a popular YA romance recently with a swedish love interest and i wanted to kill myself despite the fact i wasnt even reading it myself AND im not even a native swedish speaker, in fact i can only barely understand what my mom yaps about in swedish so i can only imagine how my relatives would react if i showed them. man i need to learn swedish properly.

First fandom you wrote for? i genuinely cant remember it was either naruto, khr, or harry potter. im excluding the pokemon self insert fics i wrote in my notebooks at school when i was 7. fma is also a possibility

Favorite fic you've ever written? despite the stupid ass drama that ensued when i posted it, probably and to the weaver maid lend your dress tonight by virtue of the sheer emotional catharsis i experienced writing it. im also really proud of a seething summer night and equal measure again. also your touches are virtue...chrobin the world

tagging @zarinthel @simkjrs @ the fic author reading this

[smashmpregcastiel]

okay i found this super funny . first question everyones asking

also godddd transmasc dean . so . LOGICALLY i know it wouldnt make sense because john wouldnt raise him the same way probably . like yeah still be a hunter but i feel like he wouldnt see a daughter the same way hed see his son as his little soldier . idk i do not trust john to be normal about having a daughter so. BUT !!! ignoring the "got anything thats real? my boobs" and "dude i got re-hymenated" and like . other things he said . the!! making himself super masculine and stuff and not showing emotions and stuff . also im sorry for being insane but the whole oh im unloveable so i just do one night stands and drink a lot👍 bc hes weird and wrong cuz its early 2000s . also wasnt there a thing abt him wearing girls clothes when he was younger ?? anyway also esp early seasons his style . yes king layer up !! been there done that (3 layers at a beach in 30c) . also yesss t4t destiel !!! for me . sorryr im watching s4 ep10 and i love how when anna kissed dean they cut to castiel . hello . anyway for me cas is just like me fr . not ugy not girl not anything just chilling on his own . idk agender i guess but thats not just like me fr cuz i dont use that label . idk im going insane i was not made to sit in an office . anyway yeas trans man dean and agender cas t4t couple <33

also bc im bored and normal sooo normal . dean being soooo happy abt being tall . hey angst moment i wish i couldnt feel anything so true king<3 me when i see a guy who hates himself drinks a lot and cares abt other hey thatsme i love when characters are just like me fr<3 whatevr he was soo happy abt growing tall cuz imagine if he was shorter. like idk even if considered "tall" for a girl lets say idk 175cm. imagine him standing next to sam and his 193cm thatd be so funny . okay im done for now i think

HIIIII yes. yes. yes. yes

this is so funny "is castiel in love with dean?" dean after fanfiction episode googling 'supernatural' and 'castiel':

hmm i guess youre right. but. idk. its john winchester. maybe he just didnt care that much. or dean gaslighted him . (ok. but. the fact that he was named after his grandmother. like. if you have a firstborn son. normal people dont name them after their mothers. looking at you mary). trans kinggg!!!

tbh for me. idk im insane i read a fanfic like that once and i cant stop thinking about itt. like angels are super agender beings but . like. i csnt explain ittt right. but cas spent time on earth and kinda realized . that he actually likes being a Guy . though your version is alsooo so real bro is just chilling his ass absolutely Not caring. but considering its cas. he can absolutely be both at the same time

AND YEAAAH. if he was like 170 and sam 193. i think dean would just end himself. or sell his soul to gain more inchesssss KDJFJ

[dykeyote]

please tell us your thoughts about jedidiah and lucille's relationship i need to know

THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME I WAS SO SAD THAT IT GOT EATEN ..... but yeah jedidiah and lucilles relationship sort of fascinates me ...... this isnt gonna have a cohesive Thesis or anything and a lot of the things i raise i dont really have answers for bc i think we're gonna get More lucille lore and so its kind of hard to like .... nail down any hard answers rn so im kinda just rambling abt my thoughts but yk . mainly the like ... Secretive nature of their relationship sort of fascinates me theres this feeling throughout that their mother-son relationship is something that needs to be ignored and kept secret . which Does make sense in the broader context that jedidiah might not wanting the kids or even his co-counselors knowing, thats fairly normal (nobody wants to be a nepo baby lol) thats not really what im talking about, im more focused on how this permeates their interpersonal dynamics, mainly in hive of anxiety. jedidiah speaks to lucille in a way that is incredibly formal - the way an employee speaks to their boss, but dialed up even higher than that, up until he starts getting emotional. the effort being put into avoiding the fact that lucille is his mom is Strong, though interestingly lucille doesnt fall into this role as much - though she does change her behavior after jedidiah calls her mom, implying that there is some amount of going w this on her end as well. calling her mom is something that is used as a last resort, and its notable that jedidiah is EXTREMELY upset before this point. before jedidiah resorts to acknowledging the fact that lucille is his mother, hes already had several angry outbursts and almost started crying. it takes him being so frustrated that he loses the ability to speak coherently in anything other than repeating jesus over and over for him to Finally resort to calling her mom. and interestingly, the one time lucille shows favor to sydney over jedidiah within the events we see in canon flips these roles: she speaks to sydney in secret and goes behind jedidiahs back, which also happens to be the one episode where lucille expresses public affection towards jedidiah. just an interesting little detail. its just really interesting to me bc it makes me wonder how long that dynamic of secrecy has been going on? theres some conflicting evidence on this - sydney references jedidiah knowing what love and care looked like, but he has a father so its not clear enough if thats really referring to lucille to be able to extrapolate it. jedidiah makes a sort of dry joke about lucille never teaching him how to hug, but lack of affection doesnt Necessarily equate this specific weird dynamic they have going on. jedidiah mentions to joshua and yvonne that he works for his mom which COULD imply that weird dynamic wasnt a thing in college so they already knew, or it COULD mean that he just said it bc he was in the middle of a rant, or it COULD mean that the counselors just know this information, or it COULD mean fifty different things . u see why jedidiah and lucilles relationship is reaaalll hard to analyze lol . anyway im sleepy so im gonna finish this here but basically im kind of fascinated in the layers of how fucked up they are and i really want to know How Long theyve been this fucked up and Why theyre this fucked up and AGH

[meepdrawartgood]

i agree with 99.9% of this and i LOVE this analysis so i just want to add my two cents, the one thing i want to contest is the idea that jimmy didnt care about or regret hurting curly. DONT GET ME WRONG, im not defending jimmy in any way, in fact i think him genuinely regretting what happened to curly is such an interesting look into how well written and shitty he is. its a very good commentary into how bad people arent just cartoonishly evil and dont care about anything or anyone but themselves, sometimes shitty people feel things and do things that are "good" or "normal", and that can coexist with them still being horrible people

curly was his friend for a long time, and judging by how curly didnt notice anything was wrong until the crash, i doubt jimmy treated him like he treated everyone else. they have a nice deep talk during the psyche eval, they joke and laugh like good friends, jimmy definitely used him like a tool to power in the end but i dont think he had any malice when interacting with curly. it probably feeds into his self-victimization too, that he thinks "hey look, i valued curly as a friend, i cared about him, that cant make me a bad person right?" while ignoring how terribly he treated everyone else.

i think he did care about curly because of what he chooses to apologize for and what he doesnt, and whats at the center of most of his hallucinations. curly's bandaged face practically haunts him for the entire game, like he cant stop thinking about what he did to him. but on the inverse, he has scattered guilty visions about daisuke, even less for swansea (that arent playing him as an innocent man being attacked by an axe wielding maniac), and besides her face in the "no turning back" sequence, not a SINGLE one about anya, just her unborn child. and even worse, debatable if the intro sequence is truly him being guilty over this, but the fact that he crashes the ship to get everyone killed in the first place NEVER comes up in his hallucinations. he doesnt regret trying to kill everyone, he doesnt regret assaulting anya, he doesnt regret killing swansea, he probably only regrets daisukes death because daisuke was such a good and innocent kid. in fact, its worth noting that just like anya, for curly he doesnt actually regret what he did to them (assaulting anya and trying to kill curly in the crash), but he regrets the consequences he has to face for what he did (anya's pregnancy, curly's injuries). which is why he twists it to himself in the end that hes doing a good thing, hes taking responsibility by putting curly in the cryopod, look how well hes atoning for his mistakes that he regrets, hes such a good person! ignoring the fact that hes still forcing curly to face the rest of the consequences that he doesnt want to and also forcing curly to either a very tough life with scars and trauma at best if he gets found, and a horrifically slow death with 20 years alone in space in perpetual agony with the corpses of his friends at worst.

the whole scene of him apologizing i think was a genuine apology with genuine emotion. but he only got to this by ignoring the many other things he should also be apologizing for, and only when he couldnt just ignore what he did to curly anymore. it adds so many more layers to his horrible rotten cake of a character that i find INSANELY refreshing and interesting to look at

jimmy is just… i've never hated a game character more but he's such an accurate portrayal of a self absorbed, self victimizing person.

his hallucinations are great insight into how he views everything as some tremendous burden that he doesn't deserve, that people are unfairly attacking him when he's "trying his best to fix things". the way he hallucinates about the unborn baby but never about anya is especially a brilliant writing choice, because it shows that he wasn't sorry. he's never remorseful for any of it; he's just scared of consequences.

jimmy is a selfish coward! he idealizes being viewed as competent. he wants everyone to gather around and cheer and clap and praise him. he loves the idea of glory, of wielding power over others, and he loves the appearance of leadership without actually being willing to shoulder any of the bitter work and personal compromises it involves. even when he does do things as a leader, it's always with at least one insult or backhanded guilt-trip.

jimmy's mental break isn't because he actually cares about or regrets curly's disfigurement and total loss of agency or autonomy. it's because if curly lives, jimmy won't be held responsible by pony express for everything that happened.

jimmy did technically "fix" everything by the end of the game when he locked curly in the cryopod and then killed himself. he fixed the fact that he might suffer repercussions for everything he did to doom the tulpar and its crew. probably the most excellent static asshole villain protagonist i've ever seen.

[himbopunk]

Hellebore and Holly for the Rook ask!

completely forgot to do these lmao oops. doing hakim for both of these

Hellebore: What are some of their triggers? Would anyone notice if Rook was exposed to one?

i think wrt hakim he's lowkey claustrophobic, doesn't like things tight around his wrists/arms (he does have gold bracelets as per lof design stuff but in my head theyre all cuffs where like they dont fully close on the bottom or bangles where they just slide on loosely so they dont quite trigger it in the same way. maybe that's also why he has those long gloves on both hands/arms cuz its like. a layer between the sensation of metal on his skin). caves probably make him a little uneasy... he's long since gotten over being in the belly of a ship bc of his pirate days but in general he starts getting real antsy and stir crazy if he hasnt been out in the sun for a bit (and not like. walking around a courtyard or something, the issue is he starts to feel trapped so unless he can Go Somewhere it only helps so much)

i think in that case he paces a lot and gets kinda fidgety. neve is usually the first to notice this imo and its like. alright lets get out of here (cuz odds are theyve both been cooped up a hot minute and while she can focus on her work the fact that hakim is getting antsy 1. will bleed into her like. focus space. makes things harder to work 2. is maybe a good sign she's been working long enough that she needs to step back a bit. also sometimes its easier to take care of someone else than it is yourself.)

also i think like. you know the joke with spiderman stuff where you know shits about to go down if hes fighting quiet, not cracking any jokes? i think hakim is similar in that way and the others would definitely pick up on that that oh something is Wrong. cuz this dude never shuts up LMAO

Holly: How do Rook and their partner(s) split up chores?

uhhh hmm. see with hakim/neve/lucanis the living with lucanis post-game aspect of this makes me kinda like. well if theyre in that fuckoff huge villa would they have like. servants and staff?? cuz i feel like hakim and neve would not be great at letting other people do the stuff theyre used to doing so the question still works but it's just something i hadn't considered til now. i just now imagine lucanis fighting them to let the staff do some stuff for them and them refusing

anyways. i think rook is better at stuff you don't have to do every day. taking stock of food and doing groceries (i think grocery runs are usually something they do together though), mb laundry. there's def like sudden almost manic deep cleaning of like bathrooms and kitchens n stuff, some days neve will leave her little office to find hakim hanging from a rope from the ceiling and cleaning the high windows while the dellamorte house staff plead with him to come down.

hakim originally tried to keep up after hardings plants but neve and lucanis kinda took point on that one cuz he was bad at keeping up on it but also they both know how upset he'd be if he let her plants die.

dishes and laundry i think used to be ones all 3 struggled with a bit for different reasons (lucanis and neve are two people who can hone in so hard on whatever theyre working on and ignore their own needs. hakim just forgets. adhd king) but rook and neve now almost do it out of spite cuz theyre not gonna have some random person doing their laundry. (combination of pride and trust issues, probably).

also considering this mostly in the context of post game cuz in the lighthouse its sort of an everyone does their part situation. mostly people have tasks they do fairly consistently but theres not really much official organization beyond the collective idea that they have to be a well oiled machine of a team.

[blackvahana]

Right, so, today we confront the beast which is a funny af way to start this

Ive needed to confront the things that lead me to resonating with Kos and uh I need to do that now. Last night, I was drawn to a specific place... here's the thing. I know theres a self, and things under the surface, and so on that make me latch on to Kos and her hamlet and so on... i know shes been kept at the forefront of my mind - or at least on the back burner - because I have to get back to and into developing what exactly it is in me and around me that resonates through her face as a mask of mine. So when I talk needing to fulfil things... Im not trying to be Kos, Kos has just been used as symbolism and a face for parts of myself I havent brought to light yet

Theres a place in my mind that.. see, the both difficult and now much easier task of peeling the mask from the truth comes into play here, it was really hard before, now its hard to know how to speak on this. Theres a place I know intimately that knows me, that knows the sea, that has Mira rising from the depths, that... yeah. Lev's right about this leading outside of English and on-plane languages too far to even try tying it back. Its not a place, is a place.

Either way. So Levs helping me get back into making "nymphs", I still havent come up with a name for them. Effectively: He described them as shed skin cells of aspects (aspects being, again by him, external selves/other bodies) which become little beings, like gametes whose other halves are the world... He kind of faltered with that last bit in the way of him acknowledging an inaccuracy he wasnt wording, the inaccuracy seemingly being better covered if I say "they're gametes, they dont have an other half, theyre held in the womb of reality" - they dont have consciousnesses of their own. The Mira are some, so are the... specific storm sirens I was drawn to - specific as in Im sure there's other spirits that fit that but certain sirens are a part of myself - and uh. probably the "manifested" Choir are too. Its an on/off switch for me, this is an art Im intimately familiar with outside this life - Lev again compares it to making gametes like puberty switches on reproduction, you can switch on this external "reproduction" - but i just havent wanted that to be switched on lmfao.

Ive also been needing to actually let go and allow energetic wellsprings to form in ANVD. Every time Ive been guided to push unchallenged, unmetered, undiluted springs of specific aspects - the Sun, Creation, Waters of Life(/part of Mother of All), etc - I have toned it back severely, added a thousand layers of webbing to slow whats brought in, only allowing whats... well. a pathetic amount of shit through. I know why im doing it lmfao I. yeah. anyway. but... this goddamn place thats supposed to be a spring of something...

This place. All the salt in ANVD - because for some reason I keep seeing supersaturated fluid and salt crystals everywhere - is partly leading back to this place. The (specific to this place) spring is tied to the "nymph" making in that I think the Mira are supposed to spring (haha pun unintended) from here, and - see. Im haunted. We're talking nymphs and I push out of my mind the relation between the slug women and Kos. We talk about a beach and a people that know me especially in unrestrained aquatic form and. its a little harder to ignore. we talk about the Mira springing up from somewhere specifically probably and hopefully fruitfully and. you see how this is getting harder to ignore

Its not even about the fiction, genuinely. its not to do with bloodborne, its. I brought up The Inevitable the other day lmfao. the fact that Ive been both chasing myself for years down a specific path and directly, without chasing, following that exact path like its in my blood. is. alright. it genuinely is alright. thats the scary part: im no longer scared of the self around the corner

Either way. I need to tie ANVD to energy wellsprings. lev very specifically said the spring in this place - wherever this place may be - is an aspect of mine undiscovered, as in... its not Sun, not Sky, not Day, not Madness, and its not my base energy, but its still a "body" - its an aspect, not a body - which. means. probably. that uh. that Mother of All and the Sun as the infinite energy wellspring of - its. its one of those moments where I look at my unincarnated selves and go oh yeah I am a version of you.

...... which. lmfao. my god. how many times do i have to say "if I fear it for no apparent reason tied to morals or genuine immediate danger its probably because I am it" why oh why I wonder have I been weirdly fearing and toning back these becoming a thing over there. anyway. well that tells me what I need to go do now