#ignore me i am having a revelation
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Actually, it's ironical the lack of self awareness of my mom in how she raised me and my sister differently because when we were kids i looked exactly like her (chubby and curly haired) while my sister was the photocopy of her dream in how she wished she could look like ( skinny and straight hair).
Almost as if i was the vessel for projections of her self hate while my sis was the beloved image of her aspirationalism, like the before and after in an infomercial.
#personal#ignore me i am having a revelation#i don't suck i was just the rare case of an eldest sibling in the faramir role on the family dynamic#while keeping all the responsabiities of a boromir with no praise#wait ... isn't that dean winchester?#my sister and i are too close/ two halfs of an idiot too#she is the youngest yet the tallest and i got her into classic rock#* runs to call therapist*
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I've been in fandom and reading fanfiction for 10 years and, not to brag, but I managed to never understand what the hell is omegaverse
#again when I say not to brag I mean it#don't get me wrong this is not an 'omegaverse is so cringe' post#I just realised it's funny that after 10 years in the trenches I still don't know what omegaverse is#not that I am intersted in knowing what it is. I have carefully avoided all these years#because my initial understanding is that it was about werewolves and I didn't like werewolves#through the years I have realised it probably isn't about werewolves at all#but it contains pregnancy which puts me off just as well. I don't want deal with that shit in real life I don't want it in my fics.#it's just. I don't know. Very funny that I have been in a lot of fandom and I enjoy being in fandoms#and I don't have a goddamn clue about what the fuck is up with one of the most popular concepts in fandom#I still know wolves are somewhat related to omegaverse but it puts me off that there are alphas and omegas and betas#because it sounds like stuff redpilled crypto bros would say#I know there are pregnancies (derogatory) a#that are mpregs#I know penises are weird and people go in heat. There are packs (?). Anyway to me it sounds like yassified redpilled discourse.#I don't want to know precisely what omegaverse is please do NOT explain it to me#I revel in the hilarity of my ignorance#fandom#fics#fanfic#omegaverse
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no but waterloo sunset's fine, it really is
#but i don't feel afraid...... i'm gazing on waterloo sunset sha la la#omg everything is beautiful now. mentally i'm here#dirty old river is still rolling into that night babbyyyyy#i am in paradise#thank you the kinks you have made me super chill i am one with the earth and with sunsets#maybe i shall plant a tree#ignore this entire post i haven't listened to this song in years and i'm acting like its a complete revelation#it's a sign#a sign of what?#WATERLOO SUNSET OF COURSE!!!!!!
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Not listening to her album because I can't bear hearing one song about liking a man š
#seeing that tatooed golden retriever line sent me over an edge this morning š#breaking up with a man is the least interesting thing in the entire world to me idc idc idc#her and i have fallen off hard and i don't even care#with the last album it was like well it was bad to me but different phases at different times etc#but the rerecordings have gotten increasingly boring and i don't care about the men like normie straight girls do#and her fandom was already massively lesphobic but she has gotten increasingly comfortable with going oh my god don't say i am a lesbian...#...please god that's the worst thing in the world you could be oh my god stop look at my puppy boyfriend uwu#i don't even give a fuck if she is or not or what any of the songs have ever been about but being a lesbian it's like uh well actually...#... it's really bothersome to hear women upset at the idea of being a lesbian like it's so terrible and freakish#i like being a lesbian more than i want to hear her music now#and the way her popularity being bigger than it ever has been right at the time she's doing the worst things ever has just made a cult of..#...normie girls who are just reveling in her being the face of being straight normie is very off putting#the racist guy and the planes and the being a billionare while making the most soulest music you have ever made...#some of this has been going on all along and i guess i was at a point where i was ignoring it that i have grown out of but it's gotten worse#anyway <3
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realising ur trans is so stupid bc before yes it felt like life was just always gonna suck no matter what I did and I was doomed to low-mid grade misery with occasional high grade sprinkled in forever and all I could do was not dwell on it as much as possible but now I know what's probably causing it and that there's a way forward I actually have to do something about it and I don't know where to starttt
#dont mind me venting#its fuckin weird bc ive known since college but i haven't??#like i was all its fine if everyone irl still calls me she and a girl and daughter and most organisations i interact with still deadname me#spoiler alert it was not fine#but i just shoved it all down so far and was like wow i have no body dysphoria#even though i quite clearly did#and haha im glad i don't need to engage with anything medical#and now im pretty surei di and im scared#the last three months have been a revelation lemme tell u š
#and through all of it im working with feelings that disappear if i look straight at them#bc im so used to supressing them im having to actively work to feel them#but i just know i cant ignore them i can't carry on as i am its downright irresponsible when there's a chance i could be happy#and it would just cone back up even if i shoved it back down#im just#im tired man and its overwhelming#anywayyy dont mind me its all good really šš#i told my mum thats something right#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#vent tw#ignore me#imma get up and go for a walk that'll help#i worry im acting like being nonbinary without dysphoria isn't being trans#it absolutely IS#it's just not who i was or am and so it feels like i wasn't properly out to myself#and am only now properly realising i am trans?#like before it was just another hollow identity ig#but it was still just as trans and it is for anyone else too#p sure im still nonbinary just over masc side#but at not that masculine lmao
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Okay can I rant about the PMDD 46/92% comorbodity for ADHD and Autism for a sec.
Society's phobia of menstrating, aka embedded patriarchal bullshit embedded since time immemorial, means when I started experiencing depressive symptoms around the same time I started menstrating were dismissed as 'normal teenager shit' and I developed an extreme disconnect with my own female anatomy because I'd only known it in the context of either hushed tones or disgust. Something that took me till 31, post diagnosis of the auDHD that was always there, to get over.
We have got to stop treating menstration as a taboo thing. We really gotta. For the next young girl (or person with a womb) experiencing symptoms like this so she gets proper treatment and isn't put on a life-ruining trajectory like me where all doctors can offer is antidepressants and the pill.
Because that correlation means the pill WON'T WORK for people with ADHD. Fun fact I ALSO learned myself and NEVER by a doctor directly - Progesterone fucks with ADHD medication. I tried going on the pill for skin problems and my fatigue got so damn bad it was like I hadn't even taken my stimulants, despite being on MAX DOSE. I can't speak for antidepressants either, I've been on them so damn long and my depression is classed as treatment resistant.
The fact this all could have possibly been preventable, if addressed early (hell, given the correlation percentage of it was recognised I had PMDD in the first place then MAYBE I could have gotten an auDHD diagnosis even earlier!!!) is driving me nuts.
So you gotta, gotta start talking about menstrating normally. Because that's what it fucking is. NORMAL. So then we have a frame of reference that is acceptable common knowledge for recognising when it becomes ABNORMAL!
#kerytalk#menstration#reproductive health#I am going insane at this revelation I hate it#I mean I got put on the pill AND antidepressants early so it may have cushioned some of it#but it's such an ignorant bandaid solution that doesn't work for everyone#and the fact if recognised I could have had my diagnosis done before I even graduated highschool#oh that one HURTS man#I might have finally gotten the supports and context I needed instead of thinking something was wrong with me#(and it was my fault)#and NOT ended up literally crippled energy wise from that lack of context and mistreatment at 31#goddammmmmit#please be normal about menstration. its time to be normal
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i'm rereading og given for funsies and the more i read the more i remember why i'm so attached to mafuyu. he's literally just me.
#outofsongs;#// lmfao i'm going back over volume 8 rn bc i can finaly touch the material w/ the separation from the negative influences i had#// and it's more refreshing to read and better to take in everything#// just god but fr esp when mafuyu asks kasai and ueki abt their future plans and is shocked they don't have any#// bc like he's under the impression he has to pick smth only to realise he can actually just not choose anything#// like 'wait that's a choice? ppl do that????' like lmfao me i am similar way if given rules#// god i forgot i'm p much mafuyu no wonder moots would say he's totally my kin#// ignore me just having massive revelations#tbd;
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#now i am absolutely playing and spinning the wheel of . am i going to get sad abt That .#i was a lil bummed abt it yesterday . byt at some point i think i did realise theres probsbly a reason#bc . there was absolutwly divine play happening yesterday . oh my fucking god .#but . anyway having to like rlly pull myself away formcthat glass is having . a negative . distortion#in my brain of some form idk. i cant talk abt it vut im trying to just .#bc while im typing this out and . stringing words tgth that makr No Sense to nayone#egen me sometimes#my brains doing some kind ofnsorting anf its . good? bc itd actually working through what the issue is or wtv. even if whats cominf#outbof my mouth or in text form makes no fucking sense#bc i know whats going on up there. i know that what im saying is helping some kind of dot and pattern so i can get over#whatever thr fuck is upsetting me . bc atp im not . ipset aby anything fucking NEW anymorem#im still putting away my past toys and knives!!!!! why !!!!! why am i still closing doors on old cycles ajd wounds !!!!#50/50 i have been ignoring it and not doing it properly . 50/50 theres stuff i havent been allowed to actually#heal from or access yet regardless. n i do see why ! bc i think abt how ive felt w some of these revelations#and know if id come to this or saw thus or WHATEVER 1 2 or even 4 months ago . provably wouldve done smth drastic . bc i keep slmost#fucking doijg dhit n i just . im not supposed to this time. i know that.#my job is to sit down and shut up. im supposed to docthis (mostly) on my own and without doing whay#my stupid ego wants to do >:( die
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we want to resume our studying so. so so badly but the eating has to not just be good but consistent over a long period of time and i wish to scream. my brain is full of paywalls nobody warned me could happen. nobody warned me I could become too poor to think at all on a physical level because whilst my faMILY was abusive as shit growing up the conditions were still of a higher class so i developed a brain that had high demands and then started fueling it with not just poor but povertty resources . like im at high risk of being homeless in the next 6 months and i have a brain that puts me in saw traps and basically says "if you don't eat at an average of least 5 meals a day, approximately 3 hours apart, and keep this up for weeks at a time, you will not be awarded access to any of your incomplete but grandiose thought constructs, good fucking luck having a single useful thought because it's not built for your resources"
Nobody fucking warned me about how painful the class drop was. I suppose a lot of that was because they were completely inconsiderate about what the experience of children in higher classes might be. They'll remember that their daddy's are heartless monsters peddaling slavery, and then for some reasojn think that they'll give their riches to their kid no questions asked. What do you think happens when the money loving man has a child with undesireable identities and interests? they torture them and wipe them off the face of the fucking planet. you don't know about it because they don't fucking want you to know about it. have some godamned nuance.
#the amount of times i was denied help because i 'had it' but i was living as someone with less than 100$ a month to live off of except i#would also have shit like a new nintendo switch and people thought any indicator that i had anything no matter how unrelated to my needs#was indicative of the rest. but if there's one thing to know about the wannabe-rich middle classman it's that his money allocation is#complete dogshit and it's everybody's fault but his own that he's poor#and please ignore his starving family in favour of all the expensive artifacts and rugs and cars he's going to show you#because this man knows what's up clearlyu. that's why my sister got fully paid off college for being a good quiet cishet while i was thrown#to the dogs and barely graduated high school and it was treated like an unrelated surprise#anyway.#if he would actually believe whoever said it#i'm sure he'd be pissed to know the son he threw away wanted to be a neurosurgeon#and i revel in that. even though he'll never know. because they let me get too fucked up for that dream by middle school#too many concussions to too much hand tremors. what's the point. im to become something different.#so i am but my hearts still missing pieces i'd like to come closer to anyway. depsite all the paywalls#inside and outside of my mind
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something about most of the americans who post about the 'shitty educational system making them think there are no cities in mexico' or something is that, on a deep level, they enjoy & revel in their ignorance, their incuriosity. they share the same bombastic and self-congratulatory anti-intellectualism as any trump-voting uncle, except enjoy couching it in the auspices of [white] queerness & disability.
i am white (more or less) and queer and disabled & attended shitty schools in de facto segregated areas, i have encountered these ppl all my life, and what has always struck me as bizarre and embarrassing is the sheer ease with which alternate forms of info were accessible. all you needed was an internet connection, which we almost uniformly had. i found information about whiteness & intersectionality & colonialism & empire as a preteen through blogs and tumblr and other social media, and when i got older, followed my curiosity to actual books on these topics and more. it did not require anything exceptional, or even a higher education.
people know these resources are there. they know how to find them, in no more clicks than it takes to get to their favorite show or fanfic or whatever. but the discomfort that encountering new info requires, the embrace of the unknown, the genuine intellectual & emotional engagement with difference and friction, is something that they deep down know that "we" (in the global north/west) have the privilege to refuse. and there is a horrible "pleasure" in that refusal, that knowledge that one is permited to know nothing and still have the world at one's feet. it is despicable and inexcusable, and i'm glad it is getting vocally called out.
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anyone who is inlove with me šš
#Im sorry im having a bad episode rn and am most likely going to be embarrassed but oh well. i need validation.#also im like mostly aware nobody gives a rats ass about me on here but . still.#theres like a tiny part of me that wishes theres a person on here that actually cares about me very deeply thoufh they dont show it#but also i get anxious when i remember that literally anyone can access my crazy ramblings.š#/ā ā²ā /ā \ā āā (ā ā¢ā āæā ā¢ā )ā ā®ā /ā \ā ā±ā \#finak thoughts for now HOPEFULLY: if youre like me . listen to your intuition. its never been wrong for me. yes i feel crazy and paranoid#but guess what i am also? always right. so. yeah. if something feels off its because it is. āļø stop beinf a dumb bitch like me and ignoring#your intuition. dont be like me please. ive been aware about so many things way before they happened but always disregarded my suspicions#bitch my suspicions have never been wrong. those whove made me out a crazy paranoid bitch. EAT SHIT.#anywho anywho. if something feels off and wrong. its cause it is off and wrong. people cant be trusted ever. most suck . truthfully.#see this is why therapy doesnt work for me. unless ive written thoughts like these down these revelations come and go on ther own and in th#meantime im as dumb as a rock!!!! because i literally forget everything that ever happens to me#anyways. the verdict is. i need someone who is obsessed with me so that i can be obsessed with them without being made out to be crazyš#i cant love normally because at the end of the day nothing about me is normal.#im unsatisfied because normal life doesn't fit me.#normal life is made for normal and sane people. not for weird bitches like me who share their delusional ramblings on Toomblr dot com.#thats actually a sort of. calming realization. im constantly trying to fit into the mold of a normal person#when clearly im not. ive neverbeen. ive turned out this way because everyone ostracized me for not being like them#well. suddenly i feel better. dont get me wrong i still hope theres at leasr one person on here whois madly inlove with meš„¶#but yeag. im jughead coded at the end of the day. Riverdale writers found outt about me and were like lets makes jughead based on her is#no āisā .sorry#based off on actually. i know english well i swear
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no more mister shy guy.
OP x fem!reader
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in which you canāt work out why he just wonāt sleep with you
i am neither normal, nor am i hinged! i hope you guys get the vision, i literally wrote this last night possessed by some feral urge bc i just love oscar sm and iāve been needing to write for him sooo baaad. enjoy! pls lemme know what you think <3
songs to set the vibes: delicate by taylor swift, good looking by suki waterhouse, my kind of woman by max demarco, feeling myself by wolf alice
warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, pwp but also there is some plot? overstimulation, crying in a hot way, choking, unprotected sex (L bozo donāt do that!) the most minor moment of angst, fluff
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you watch him make coffee, daydreaming, balancing your heavy head on your hand. you study him while your free hand taps against the kitchen counter, nails drumming a random beat. sunlight streams through a gap in the curtains, framing him golden. you donāt think he knows how pretty he is.
oscar is oblivious to the way your mind is ticking behind him, twisting the cap on the carton of oat-milk. you hear the plastic fall onto the counter and your tongue wets your lower lip as he reaches up into the cupboard, his back flexing beneath his shirt as he finds your favourite mug. you realise then how swollen your lip is, snapped out of the trance he had you in, the one that had you biting your lip so hard, completely mindlessly.
heās bulked up over the winter break, filled out a lot over the course of his rookie season. heās no longer the scrawny, anxious guy youād met at your fathers work event a year ago, heās broader, thicker in your hands, utterly delicious. as much as you like the way he looks, you like his mind a whole lot more. if only you knew what was going on inside it.
oscar is an enigma, quiet, hilariously dry, the kindest man youād ever had the pleasure of meeting. youāve been together since the start of the winter break, november, after awkward run ins and plenty of pining since the start of his first season. youād travel to races with your dad, a mclaren sponsor, and run into the australian, stare at each other and pretend no one noticed. after months of teasing from lando, oscar finally got the kick up the arse that he needed and youād said yes to dinner before heād even finished asking the question.
itās february now, a week til he needs to be in bahrain. the last three months had been serene, spent with a man made of sunshine, and youāre sad to see him go, as if you wonāt be in the emirates a mere four days after him. you fear the way youāll ache for him, having been inseparable since the dinner that started it all.
but then again, it canāt be worse than the way you ache for him now.
āsweetheart?ā oscar is waving his hand in front of your face when you realise heās been calling your name for a good 15 seconds, and you have, in fact, been staring. hm? you jump, staring at him bewildered. he looks amused. āyou okay?ā he coos, sliding the coffee across the island towards you.
āyeah, sorry, i, um, i just- why wonāt you have sex with me?ā you blurt, slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as you realise what youāve just said.
oscar just blinks, mouth forming a little o, the permanent blush he seems to have increasing tenfold. you instantly feel guilty for ambushing him, but you were at the end of your tether. three months of nothing, nada, zilch. every move you made was refuted, ignored as if he was oblivious. you were ravenous for him, heās so gorgeous! and you didnāt want to pressure him, but you were starting to feel like there was something wrong with you.
youād wake up in bed with him wrapped around you, grinding against your ass in his sleep, and youād revel in it, the rare times that he actually seemed to want you like that. you loved him regardless, of course you did, but youād be lying if you said you didnāt need to beā¦ dealt with. urgently.
āi- um- what?ā oscar splutters, and the bottom of his mug blinks against the granite.
āis there something wrong with me? am i not pretty enough?ā you whisper, shy. ādo you just notā¦ like- do you not want to do that?ā you ramble.
panic fills his face, and heās rushing around the island, by your side in an instant. he takes your hands into his, finding your eyes. theyāve grown watery, a mixture of guilt and desperation swirling in them which makes him feel ill.
ābaby, no, god no.ā he rushes the words out, desperate to convince you that it wasnāt you. āyouāre the most beautiful person in the entire world, prettiest girl i ever saw.ā he promises. āiām justā¦ itās scary.ā
āoh, osc.ā your face falls, and you want to throw yourself off of the balcony. āiām sorry, i didnāt mean to pressure you. if it makes you feel better, iām scared too. but i love you so much, i just want to feel even closer to you.ā
āyou didnāt make me feel pressured, iām just sorry i made you feel unwanted. trust me, i want you like that. drives me insane. but iāve never had sex before with someone that i love. not the way i love you, anyway. scared that i wonāt be good enough for you.ā he murmurs.
youāre hung up on the part where you drive him crazy, the part where he loves you like that, and then you remember how vulnerable heās being, baring his entire soul to you, and you rip yourself from the fantasy.
your hands smooth over his shoulders, until youāre softly fisting a clump of hair at the nape of his neck.
āi love you. insanely. weāll go slow.ā you state. he moulds further against you, and you quickly realise itās for leverage, because the next thing you know, youāre in his arms. he has his hands hooked under your thighs and heās kissing you so, so deeply that youāre dizzy. you donāt realise that youāre halfway to his bedroom until he pulls away.
āi donāt wanna go slow anymore.ā
oscar places you on your feet at the end of his bed, the large, plush king-sized mattress that is currently calling both of your names. your blouse gets unbuttoned first, his hands shaking in a way that makes you melt, and his lips trail over every inch of bare skin that he uncovers. when it finally falls to the floor, his pupils are blown wide, his hands palming intricate black lace. your jeans are stripped away mercilessly, his hands shaking less now, and you take it as a sign to crawl backwards onto the bed.
he stands there, watching you, apprehensive again. you can see how hard he is, how desperately strained his cock is through the light grey of his sweatpants, and so you switch tactics. your hand grazes your tummy, skimming up your abdomen until you reach a bra strap. you toy with the elastic, holding the kind of eye contact that makes him twitch, tugging it until it hangs loosely off of your shoulder.
āi need you, osc. i trust you.ā you utter, soft and enticing. one finger runs under the cup of your bra, flicking over your nipple. he can just about see the hardened bud through the lace of your bra. itās not enough, though, and every ounce of self control depletes when you whine, āwant you inside of me so badly.ā
the elastic band snaps and heās on top of you, rutting between your legs like a man starved. you drag his shirt up and over his shoulder blades, moaning as you feel each and every muscle under your fingertips.
ājust wanna make you feel good.ā oscar rasps, rolling his hips even harder into your core.
ātake these off.ā you beg, pulling at the waistband of his joggers. he somehow musters the strength to pry himself off of you, just long enough to discard the uncomfortable material of his sweats, but as soon as he looks down, his plans change.
painted over the crotch of them is a shiny pool of your slick, and when his eyes flit hungrily to your core, he sees where youāve soaked through your panties. youāre panting when you see the stain, and you just want to get him inside of you, but his priorities have changed. oscar collapses between your legs, head buried, tongue exploring.
he groans, carnal and needy, into the fabric of your underwear, laving his tongue over the lace. your eyes widen as he dives in, licking over the wet patch until he grows frustrated. you hear the tearing of the fabric, feel his big hands pawing at your thighs to spread them as wide as theyāll go. his tongue slides right inside of you and he whines. he fucking whines. the vibration nearly makes you scream. you canāt believe this is your oscar, the same oscar that had quivered with nerves a mere five minutes ago.
āoh my god.ā you chant, rolling your hips against his face. you must be all over him by now, what with the way heās sucking and slurping, obscene sounds of wetness sounding around the room. youād be blushing a deep red if you werenāt so turned on, shaking against his bedspread which will probably need changing once heās done with you.
you thought that maybe he was inexperienced and that was the source of his fear, but if he was, you never would have known. he was a natural in between your legs, nipping at your clit to get you even louder for him.
you cum faster than ever, and heās mumbling something incoherent into your pussy when you do. youāre riding the high, midway through the bliss, when a thick finger slips its way inside of you. oscar realises that he can easily slide another in, and he does. he doesnāt thrust them in and out, he grinds them against your walls, and your mouth falls open as a silent scream forces itās way out.
you cum a second time, in record time yet again, and he still doesnāt let up. heās hitting that spot relentlessly with his fingers, keeping your clit between his swollen lips, and youāre begging him. for what, youāre not sure, but youāre whimpering his name like youāre going to die. and what a good way to go this would be.
his eyes meet yours, and he looks unhinged. thatās when you feel it. that all consuming, belly twisting rush.
āoscar!ā you try to warn him, but itās too late, and he knows it. he makes you squirt, because of course he does. the shy guy who was scared that he wouldnāt be able to please you makes you squirt.
he pulls his mouth off of you but keeps his fingers buried deep, eyes fixed on watching the way your pussy convulses.
āholy shit.ā you cry. youāre staring down at him like youāve gone insane. heās smiling innocently.
āwas that good?ā he almost sounds shy and you want to kick him.
āare youā¦ are you serious?ā you rasp. oscar just shrugs. āget up here.ā you reach for him and complies, slotting himself between your legs once more.
oscar resumes the rolls of his hips, and the friction of the grey fabric against your core makes your eyes roll back.
āplease, oscar, fuck me.ā you whine, his head falling into the crook of your neck. he bites down, leaving behind the sting of his teeth and a faint purple splotch.
āfucking love you.ā he slurs, his accent thickening in a way that makes him sound that extra bit fucked out already.
āi love you.ā you murmur, forcing his sweats down his legs. his boxers are wet, just like your panties were, and you canāt help but stare. oh, itās big.
his boxers are peeled down and you can feel yourself throbbing. his cock hangs heavy, red and dripping, painfully hard. you reach for it, looking at him to make sure itās okay to touch, and heās rapidly nodding his head. your small hand struggles but you make it work, and his head tips back, exposing his thick neck that you want to suck purple. your hand works over him a few times, and a visible shiver running through his body makes you stop.
āyou ready for me?ā he asks through gritted teeth.
āplease.ā you gasp, locking your legs around his waist. āhowever you want me, ām yours.ā you breathe.
oscarās eyes roll back in his head, your words sending his brain blank, and then heās pushing home, slow and deep.
āfucking hell.ā he groans, guttural. youāre so tight, warm, soaking wet. he feels like the biggest idiot in the world for waiting so long for this.
āoh.ā you gasp, your eyebrows knitting together. heās so deep. āso full.ā you pant.
ācan you take it, sweetheart?ā oscarās lips bump your jaw. āwant you to take it.ā you nod profusely, desperate to hear him run his mouth even further. your eyes clench shut when you feel him move, just the tiniest bit, readjusting.
āmove.ā you plead. heās staring down at you, watching every single micro movement of your face.
oscar pulls out the smallest bit and thrusts back in, nice and slow. the drag drives you feral, the weight of him on top of you makes you weak. you want to stay like this until the end of days.
āgood?ā he hisses, trying to keep composed. heās finally inside of you, claiming you as his in the most intimate way of all. he tries not to think about how many times he could have had you begging under him in the last three months.
āso good, so good.ā you repeat, pushing your hips up to try and meet his.
āso pretty like this for me. always so, so pretty.ā he rambles. he realises that he never quite made it as far as getting your bra off, and he needs to see all of you. the cups are tugged haphazardly down, and oscar stares at your breasts like heās never seen tits before. you hear him hum, low and greedy, and then you feel the wet drag of his tongue across your nipple.
the animalistic whine that he rips from you makes him thrust harder, upping his pace a bit. he can hear how much wetter you get when he picks up his pace, and he changes up his rhythm, pushing all the way in and dragging out again at lightning speed. your jaw goes slack and your eyes are damp.
ābaby, whatās wrong?ā oscar slows to a stop, and you want to scream.
āno, no, no, keep going.ā you choke out, your throat constricting with a sob. āitās so good. feel so good.ā you sound drunk, all for him, and he loses his mind completely.
he taps into that athletic stamina, fucking into you with a newfound vigour that you didnāt think was humanly possible, and you feel things that you didnāt even know you could feasibly feel. you see stars behind your eyes, his face, and nothing else but bright white. calloused fingers find your clit, and you wonder fleetingly if heās trying to kill you when he rubs messy shapes into the much too overstimulated bud. his teeth graze your nipple, and everything seems to come together perfectly.
thick tears run hot down your cheeks, only to be licked away by eager tongue. your belly tightens, aflame for him; heās wound your body up perfectly and youāve never in your life teetered so dangerously over the edge.
ācan feel you, baby. want you to cum, okay? ān then iām gonna fill you up.ā oscar grunts. you clamp down on him even tighter, thanking god for oscarās filthy fucking mouth and birth control, and then everything snaps.
you think you scream, you know that youāre sobbing, and your throat is raw when the wave hits. oscar keeps going, intensifying your pleasure, and when he finally letās go, itās the most beautiful fucking thing youāve ever seen. itās surreal, the way his neck flexes, eyes clenched tight, brown locks flopping over his sweat damped forehead. and the sounds he makes, god. heās muttering into your ear, lewd and shameless, and a fifth orgasm nearly takes you under.
āgonna need you everyday like this, tight fucking pussy, all mine. canāt live without this now. fucking perfect.ā heās rambling, burrowing deep into you one last time. you feel his warmth spilling into you, feel his hot breath fanning your face. he licks into your awaiting mouth.
āfuck.ā you giggle, breathless.
āgood?ā he raises an eyebrow, grinning bashfully.
āmore than worth the wait.ā you whisper, mustering the strength to lift your head just enough so that you can peck his lips. āyou better not hold out on me ever again though.ā oscar laughs at that and you feel the rumble in your flushed chest.
āyou promise?ā thereās the shy guy again.
āosc, honey, that was the best. ever. ever. need you to be mr sex god more often.ā
āonly if you behave for me.ā he smirks down at you.
āthere he is.ā you sigh happily.
when he snakes his way back between your legs, lapping up the mess heās made, and then some, you wonder just what youāve unleashed.
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whoops? lol
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taglist
@thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys Ā @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecameraĀ @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @spideylovin @charli123456789
(run outta space on my taglist lol, lemme know if u wanna be added or removed)
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri oneshot#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri angst#oscar piastri fics#f1 smut#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fics#f1 imagine#f1 oneshot#formula 1 smut#formula 1 fics#formula 1 fic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#f1 driver x you#f1 driver x reader#smut#fluff
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rafe + corruption kink
warnings: flirting, teasing, groping
āhow come youāre here if parties arenāt your thing?ā rafe currently had an arm draped over your shoulders, his hand resting on your thigh as he gazed down at your pretty face. āmy friend wanted me to get out for a while..ā you bit your lip, glancing up at the handsome stranger before quickly looking away. rafe smiled at your nervous antics. you gave him the impression that youāre not used to being in close proximity with men, and that idea enticed him more than he cared to admit. ādo you know my name?ā rafe watched your breathing quicken when he started rubbing shapes into your skin, his hand slowly moving under the hem of your dress.
āno.. iām sorry, am i supposed to?ā he leaned down so his lips were right next to your ear. āwell, youāre in my house.ā your eyes widened slightly. āreally?! you have a beautiful home.ā you smiled nervously. āyeah? you like it?ā he got up, taking your hand in his, āwanna see more?ā you nodded, fully expecting him to show you the pool outside, or maybe the bar in the corner of the living room, but instead you found yourself following him upstairs. ātell me..?ā he trailed off, āy/n.ā you answered, swallowing thickly as you two entered his bedroom. āy/n, iām rafe. do you have a boyfriend?ā
he guided you to his bed where he pulled you on top of his lap. āumm, no.. but i go on dates sometimes.ā nervously fiddling with the ring on your finger, rafe hummed. ādates, huh? do these dates go anywhere?ā he stroked your hair softly, tucking a few strands behind your ear as you shook your head. āi donāt think i understand what youāre asking.ā your voice was small, the feeling of his fingertips on your skin made butterflies flutter in your tummy. ādo they get to have their way with you?ā his tone sent shivers down your spine. ālike if we kiss and stuff? no.ā you felt embarrassed saying it out loud.
rafe cursed under his breath at the revelation, his cock hardening in his shorts. āhow come?ā he cleared his throat, trying to ignore the way you shifted in his lap. āi donāt know, i just get scared iām going to disappoint them.ā you shrugged. āand why is that?ā finally, you looked up, meeting his eyes. ābecause iāve never done anything before.ā it was like a switch flipped in his brain, and the only thing rafe could think about was stuffing you with his cock and turning you into his own personal slut. ādo you want to?ā his hand was back under your dress, as if to coax you to say yes.
you let out a shaky breath, blinking at him. āyouāll teach me?ā rafe watched your eyes sparkle as you waited for him to answer. ābaby, iāll do so much more than teach you. iāll make you feel so good you wonāt even know what to do with yourself.ā you nodded before a word could leave your lips. āyouād do that?ā rafe smiled, his fingers slipping under the waistband of your panties. āof course,ā he cooed, ābut only under one condition.ā your stare faltered when you felt a single digit slide between your folds. āno one else except me can touch this pretty pussy.ā
#ā¤ļøā ā¹ works#āĖā¹ā” rafe#outer banks#outer banks smut#outer banks fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe edit#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#obx#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#drew starkey
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Mates (Sweet Thing Pt.2)
Hare! Original character x bunny! Male reader
Warnings: hints of possessiveness, your owner getting his poor eyes destroyed, cream pie, a bit of an exhibitionism kink, pwp, dirty talk
Note: if youāre confused about the anatomy, in the eyes of humans theyāre animals but to each other theyāre like hybrids (human with animal features), just donāt think too much about it lol and enjoy the story
The sun didnāt let you slumber peacefully after the night of merciless fucking. You could hear the faint sounds of water flowing nearby as you awoke blearily, feeling a little disoriented. āOw!āA sharp stab of pain shot through your lower half, the ache a reminder of the shameless acts you had committed. A rush of shame left your face burning as you recalled what you had said in your haze of pleasure. Looking down, you noticed your lower half was clean, had Mr Hare cleaned you up?
Before you could ponder more about it, a loud grumble from your stomach interrupted your thoughts. āHungry?ā A low, magnetic voice sounded beside your ear. āOh, Mr Hare! Iā¦ā Your throat felt dry, what could you say?! The embarrassment was too muchā¦ Mr Hare must have known from the way you avoided his gaze but he chose to ignore it, offering you an apple. Looking sheepish, he continued, āListen, sorry about yesterday. I wasnāt really myself and I must have scared you a lotā¦ Iāve just been really pent up and you smelled absolutely amazing.ā His ears were red. Oh. Cute. Even Mr Hare had an adorable side to him. āI donāt mean to really impose on you bunny but after all that, I mean I have to know your name at least,ā He smiled apologetically.
āItās (name)!ā You offered a toothy grin in return. āThank you so much for cleaning me up and giving me this apple, Iām so sorry for intruding upon your territory as wellā¦but I donāt regret it though! Youāre so nice and handsome too..I mean..āYou blabbered out a thanks but it seemed you said too much, you didnāt mean to! He was really good-looking!! You really didnāt dare to look at his face now, wishing you would vanish from the face of this earth. āWell, (name), the pleasure is mine as your mate. I am glad you found me satisfactory.ā The corner of his mouth lifted in a gentle chuckle.
Mates?! Yours eyes widened as you tried to grasp the revelation, your initial astonishment at what he said melting into sheer happiness. Forgetting about the ache in your lower half, you bounced next to him in a fit of excitement, āReally? You mean it? You mean it?ā The questions rushed out as you couldnāt stop yourself from grinning uncontrollably. Looking at your delighted expression, Mr Hare muttered an agreement, his eyes crinkling. āWell, Mister Hare, since weāre mates now, I have to tell my owner!ā Your tail puffed out in eagerly as you grabbed his hands and stared at him with stars in your eyes.
It didnāt take much convincing as it seemed Mr Hare was rather smitten with you and didnāt mind for the latter part, if your owner were to reject you both, he would just whisk you away anyways even if you didnāt want to. As you bounded in the direction of your home from the meadow with Mr Hare in tow, it seemed as if the odds were in your favour, you even remembered the way back! As you arrived at the familiar sight of your house, you could see the frantic and panicked look of your owner through the window, a sense of guilt weighed down on your heart for worrying him because of your greed. Glancing at your worried face, Mr Hare offered some words of comfort, ā(Name), itās alright, Iām sure your owner would understand.ā He was right! You could do this! Leaping through the window, you landed at your ownersās feet with Mr Hare behind you.
ā(Name)!? Wait, Iāll talk to you later, this rascal just came back after a day of disappearing!!ā Your owner spoke in a rapid fire manner at the person in the phone before hanging up. Disappointment apparent in his displeased expression, he scooped you up. ā(Name)! Where have you been? Iāve been worried to death and you just disappear on me?? Where did your shorts go? And- Wait. Did you bring a girl home.ā Before your owner could finish giving you a rough talking to, he noticed Mr Hare on the ground, who was clearly disgruntled by the fact that your owner had just snatched you up. ā(Name), god damn it! I didnāt spay you because you were the only bunny I had at home but you bring home some random female hare?!?ā Clearly perturbed, your owner bemoaned at you.
It seemed your owner was too exasperated to even listen to youā¦he had even assumed Mr Hare was a female! Mr Hare shot you a look that expressed his irritation. Desperate to explain yourself, you jumped from your ownerās embrace beside Mr Hare and he immediately mounted you, showing his dominance. āGod what if sheās pregnant- (Name), what are you doing?! Oh- l.āLeft speechless, your owner immediately understood. āOkay, so you were the one who got pounded?? My bunny got mounted by some random hare??? I give upā¦this is the price I get for pampering you so much (name)ā¦letās at least get this guy checked to see if he has an ownerā¦ā Your owner was so exasperated with the situation that he finally threw up my hands and gave up, leaving to call the animal shelter.
As your owner conceded defeat, you knew despite his sharp words, he had accepted that Mr Hare was now part of your family. Excitement coursed through you at the thought of having Mr Hare around and it seemed like he shared the same idea as well! Just when you were about to rave about the future you had already imagined with Mr Hare and your owner together as one big family, he interrupted you. āBunny, I donāt really like how your owner just grabbed you away like thatā¦ā He wore a scowl of displeasure, his grip on you tightening as if to ward off any potential threat. Mr Hare being all possessive over you just because your owner touched you should have put you off but it didnāt, instead you felt yourself hardening shamefully, your hole twitching.
He noticed, wearing a smug smirk on his face as if he clearly relishing his victory over the competition. āW-wait, Mr Hareā¦ my owner is still hereā¦ā However, your words were the opposite of your actions as you teasingly rubbed your ass against his already rock hard dick. āBunnyā¦youāre really tempting meā¦ā He grunted as he pulled you close, your thighs flush against his cock. A faint blush crept up your neck and cheeks as a low pitched squeak left you. The blunt head of his dick repeatedly rubbing against your rim of muscle, precum wetting your awaiting hole. Mr Hare cooed at you patronisingly before he thrusted into your heat, the immediate stretch and burn of his impossibly huge cock filling you.
Almost going slack from the penetration, your body trembled from the stimulation as the excitement from your owner catching you both made you shamelessly clench around his cock repeatedly. āYou like your owner just behind the door, bunny? Catching me pumping my seed into his precious pet, huh?ā Mr Hare snarled as his hands teased your chest, hands rolling your taut nipples. āPlease.ā You cried out, unsure of what you even wanted as your vision grew hazy. It felt impossibly good. āGod. Your hole is so tight, my dickās gonna break.ā He laughed as his hips snapped against yours at a brutal speed. āUnh- ah!ā You moaned, tongue now lolling out and eyes rolling back as the pleasure built up and left you reeling in its wake.
The sensation of his cock spearing you open again and again felt so good. The obscene squelch of your hole after every slap of his balls against your skin echoed in the room. It was too much. The tension in your body building up and snapping as you orgasmed. As wave after wave of pleasure crashed into you, your walls pulsed around Mr Hareās cock rapidly, milking him of what he was worth. Your cock painted your tummy in white as you slurred incoherently, Mr Hareās grip on you bruisingly tight as his pace stuttered. āFuck.ā Mr Hare moaned. It was not long before hot spurts of cum splashed your insides with his semen. Pulling out his soft cock, a vulgar squelch sounded, followed by his cum dripping out of your swollen hole.
Too exhausted to even feel ashamed about what you did, you lay against Mr Hare as the afterglow left you dazed. Gently cradling in his arms, he kissed your nape in satisfaction. Unfortunately, your sweet moment was interrupted by your owner coming in. āAlright, Iāve confirmed he doesnāt have an owner so weāll just adopt him and get him vaccinated for some shotsā¦ (Name)?! Oh god.ā
At least you were both now mates at leastā¦but your ownerās eyes would need some time to recoverā¦
note: I rly need to give this guy a name lol I canāt keep calling him Mr Hare in smut scenes šš I didnāt beta this so there might be some spelling errors
Reblogs are appreciated! š
#bottom male reader#sub male reader#uke male reader#x male reader#mlm ns/fw#smut drabble#mlm#x original character#male reader smut#male reader
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Secret affairs
Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x fem!grisha! reader Summary: Rumours and whispers are circulating in the Little Palace that General Kirigan has found himself a mysterious woman with whom he spends his nights. One morning Ivan learns that the rumours are true. Fedyor will not rest until he finds out who their Black General's new lover isāwho is the one who makes him much less grumpy. Requested by: @drinix (I AM SOOOO SOOO SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME AGES! BUT I HOPE YOU WILL LIKE IT, HONYE!!! š¤š¤š¤š¤) Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~ā¢ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¢~ Main Masterlist
One morning, Aleksander sips his coffee and looks through the reports Ivan has just delivered to his desk. He has a meeting with his colonels in a few minutes, and he's struggling with his lack of sleep. At least this time, he has a better reason to stay up late than answering letters and planning new battle tactics.
He smiles, remembering the night he spent with you. He runs a hand over his jaw, trying to shake the thought of you beneath him. How you trembled at his every little touch, the sweet sounds you made as he struck your most sensitive spots with pinpoint precision, how wonderful you looked sprawled out on the bed, a clean, quivering mess as he tasted you to his likingā¦
"Forgive me, General, but I can't find your kefta." Ivan's voice snaps him out of his thoughts. Aleksander absentmindedly picks up the reports again, knowing full well that he has to read them before he goes to any meetings, and, ignoring Ivan a bit, mumbles under his breath, asking him to repeat what he just said. "I can't find your kefta, sir."
"My kefta?" Aleksander repeats, surprised. Ivan has never had any problems with this simple task before. Suddenly he remembers why his heartrender can't find his keft. "I must have left it at hers." Aleksander mutters under his breath, unaware that he is saying it so loudly that Ivan can hear him.
Heartrender frowns and stares at his general in shock as he casually takes his reports and heads to the main war room for a meeting.
As soon as Ivan enters the room, he meets the questioning gaze of his beloved. Feydor immediately notices how pale and nervous Ivan has become and that his heart is beating a little faster. He decides to ask him what happened. And a few hours later, Ivan confirms to Feydor the rumours that have been circulating in the Little Palace.
General Kirigan had a secret affair.
"I can't believe it! Him?" Alina's whisper reaches you as you sit down at the table right next to Fedyor.
"Who are we gossiping about? The healer who almost broke a bone in one of the Inferni yesterday while so-called healing?"
"No. Ivan couldn't find the general's kefta this morning. And when he told him, he mumbled that he must have left it at HERS. Do you understand? At HERS. HER. SHE. A WOMAN."
"Yes, Fedyor. I understood at first time when you said it." You laugh at his excitement about this new rumour.
"No you don't! You don't know what it means if you are not at least as interested and excited as me or Alina." Fedyor informs you in a very serious way.
You roll your eyes at his foolish behaviour and looks at Aleksander who is coming into the great hall. In his black kefta.
"No way! It must be someone from the Little Palace! Look at him, he is wearing it now! Someone had to give it to him." Fedyor whispers conspiratorially to the three of you, staring at the general.
You raise an eyebrow at him, amused when the man quickly feigns interest in his food as Aleksander's gaze falls on the three of you. He nods at you and leaves the room.
"Sorry, duties." You say and take an apple from the table. "Try not to interrogate everyone around you about the general's new beloved. She may get embarrassed or scared and leave him and he'll become a pain in our asses again." You tease him and leave him and Alina to discuss this new revelation.
You walk quickly through the hallway of the Little Palace, practically running after Aleksander. You burst into his war room and before you can say a word, his lips are on yours.
You moan softly, surprised by the suddenness of his kiss. You tangle your hands in his hair and hum against his mouth as he slips his tongue into your mouth, pinning you against the door. Youāre breathless as he practically devours you, drinking in all your moans and whimpers of pleasure as his large, strong hands caress the cheeks of your ass.
"I was thinking about it since I left your side." He mumbles, pressing small kisses to your jaw. You sigh, digging your hands into the collar of his kefta and pushing him away from you with a heavy heart, but you have to get the message across to him before you get lost in each other again.
"You have to be more careful. Fedyor got something out of Ivan and knows you have a mistress."
"So you are my secret mistress now?" He asks, chuckling against your neck. You bite your lip as his beard teasingly grazes your neck, plump lips nipping at your skin.
"Call me that again and you will be comming back from my chamber to yours all naked." You growl, but your threat carries little fear as Aleksander begins to unbutton your own kefta.
"You wouldn't dare..." He mumbles against your skin and all you can do is tug on his hair in retaliation as he traces his marks across your collarbone and moves lower, approaching the valley between your breasts.
"So sure?" You gasp, trying your best to remain intimidate to him, but it is a challenge when his fingers work so smoothly in undressing you.
"Uh-huh." He mumbles and kisses you again, this time more forcefully than last time, making your legs buckle slightly. He holds you tightly by the waist and lifts you up, navigating through his room and laying you on his bed, which is filled with books.
"I... um... sorry. I should have cleaned up here." He mumbles to himself and throws the books to the floor in his haste. You laugh at him and grab his arm.
"I don't mind... besides it will be quite hard to explain why you suddenly clean your rooms without any suspicion about this new lover of yours." You tease him with a smirk, but he doesn't seem to share your good humour at all.
He's lost in thought, stroking your cheek with his thumb thoughtfully and not responding to your teasing, just staring at you sprawled beneath him, shadows slowly creeping out of his control and draping over the foot of the bed.
"Shouldn't we... make this official?" He asks, staring at you with those night-dark eyes of his. You shiver, surprised by his question.
You try to swallow the lump in your throat and control your slight panic attack as he continues to stare at you, waiting patiently waiting for your answer and searching your face carefully for any reaction.
"What for? That's... quite a comfortable... deal we are in. Besides, I don't want them to talk that I am your second-in-command just because I slept with you. And I thought you liked that our relationship is strictly private and well... not to anyone's eyes?"
"Yeah... yeah, I do. You probably are right. Having you in the darkness is much more entertaining than in the daylight."
You know from the way he frowns slightly that this isn't the answer he was expecting. But if anything, Aleksander is a pathological people-pleaser. So he doesn't say anything about his true feelings about the secrecy of your relationship and instead leans in for a kiss.
Which subconsciously makes you feel incredibly guilty.
"Come here... let me help you relax, moi soverenyi." You moan against his lips and straddle him, deciding that this afternoon you will serve your general.
But no matter how many kisses you press into his skin, how many marks you leave, or how many times you make him moan your name, you still feel a burning feeling of guilt inside.
You try with all your might to focus your attention solely on giving him as much pleasure as possible, but your thoughts involuntarily wander to his proposal. You weren't ready to show the two of you to the world yet. You weren't ready for the judgemental looks from others. You'd rather everything stay the way it was. Just you and Aleksander, your little secret, stole kisses and nights between each other's sheets.
You were completely happy with that. But as you can see, your Sasha wanted more.
And you weren't entirely sure if you could give it to him now.
You wake up blissfully aching. Aleksander's shadows float across his bedroom, obscuring the entire room, blocking out any sunlight. You turn your gaze to the man whose chest your head rests on.
You smile, watching the sleeping shadow summoner. It's rare to see him so... calm, rested. Unable to stop yourself, you run your hand along the line of his jaw and gently cup his bearded cheek. You stroke it with your thumb, drinking in his appearance, enjoying every tiny hickey you've left on him.
You lean down and kiss him sweetly, slowly, unhurriedly, enjoying the softness of his lips and the roughness of his beard. Kissing him had always been a surreal feeling for you. Sometimes you couldn't believe that you could actually press your lips against his and declare your claim to the most powerful Grisha that existed.
You feel him start to wake up as the kiss continues. He wraps his arms around you and holds you tightly by the waist, rolling you so you're straddling him as he kisses you passionately, hungrily. You sigh into his mouth, feeling his manhood press against you as if last night hadn't worn him out.
You run your hands over his chest and slowly settle yourself on him. You sigh as the head of his cock slowly opens your soaked walls. It feels so good and so damn full, as you settle yourself completely on him, as you become one. You bite your lip and hold your breath as he sits up, wrapping his arms around you tightly, digging his fingers into your back.
"Y/N..." He murmurs into your ear and kisses his lobe. You sigh, feeling him perfectly fill every little space of you.
"Morning." You gasp as he pushes you onto your back, hovering over you. He sucks hickies on your neck, mumbling quiet good mornings against your skin as he lazily thrusts into you.
You wriggle and moan beneath him, trying to press yourself as close to him as you can. Thereās no space between you as he claims you with every thrust, destroying you for any other man. You sigh as he presses his lips to yours, kissing you possessively, stealing your breath with each deep, hard thrust into you.
He trails his kisses down your neck. His beard tickles your skin as he caresses your lips. You moan his name loudly as he suddenly sucks onto your breast.
He smiles evilly against your skin. Aleksander revels in the way you dig your nails into his shoulders as he works tirelessly to please you. He loved seeing you like this. Hair tousled against his black sheets, eyes closed from the rush of pleasure, mouth open in a quiet moan of his name when all you could think about was him. That was when you felt truly his. And it was a pleasant change for him to know that someone belonged to him, that he owned someone. It was just a shame he couldn't claim you in the sunlight as well.
A sudden movement in the war room makes you both freeze. Aleksander stares at his bedroom door and instinctively raises his shadows, causing them to wrap around the two of you defensively.
"General, we got a report from the west border with Fjerda..." Fedyor's voice trails off in the realization as the heartrender realizes he hears two heartbeats in Darkling's bedroom. Two fast heartbeats. "I... um... should I come later?"
"Preferably." Your lover responds, still on his guard.
You listen for Fedyor's footsteps and sigh in relief as he walks away. You laugh uncontrollably, which earns a soft chuckle from Aleksander. His heart heats up as he watches fondly as you laugh beneath him at the absurdity of the situation.
"Oh my dear saints. He's going to be so determined to find out who you're hiding under the sheets."
"Yes... probably." He replies. You frown thoughtfully, but you quickly distract yourself when he moves again. You moan, biting your lower lip and digging your fingers into his arm as he reaches deep, hitting that weak spot inside you that sends tingles throughout your body. "But you'll manage, right, milaya?"
You nodded, unable to utter any coherent sounds. He smiles pure evil and continues to pound into you at a punishing, rapid pace. You bite your lip, almost drawing blood as you try not to moan his name too loudly in the darkness of his chambers.
Yep... you definitely loved your stolen mornings with him.
A few hours later, you smile to yourself as you pack your things. Due to suspicious activity by the Fjerdans on the border, Aleksander decided to go and see for himself what was going on. You were supposed to be on the lookout for Morozova's stag.
Despite the sudden events of today, you couldn't just forget about the morning spent with him. The thought of it made you blush, and a smile appeared on your lips. Lost in thoughts about the shadow summoner, you didn't even register when Zoya entered your room with a packed backpack.
"Oh saints, you had sex!" You jump suddenly at her excited squeal and stare at her like a deer caught in the light of a hunter's torch.
"I beg you pardon?"
"You had sex! You're glowing, relaxed, and oh my, you're blushing like a teenager! Who's that? Do I know him? Handsome? What order is he from? Or maybe it is she?" She bombards you with excited questions. You hide your face in your hands, not wanting to watch her wicked smile as she settles on your bed, staring at you intently.
"I... have no idea what are you talking about."
Before you can somehow defend yourself from her accusations, you are interrupted by a knock on your door. Fedyor enters with his things, all excited, with Ivan hot on his heels.
"Y/N, you won't believe it! He really does have someone! You have to tell me if you saw anyone in the corridors leading to his quarters last night when you were leaving his chambers after the night briefing. Remember every detail, I need to know everything."
"Y/N had sex with some mysterious lover." Zoya briefs Fedyor before either of you can add anything to the man's long rant.
Ivan raises a surprised eyebrow at you, silently analysing the information in his head. You see the gears turning in his head, and as he connects the dotsāas Alexander's closest confidant after youāhe blushes. You shake your head slightly, staring at him as Fedyor and Zoya exchange gossip. He swallows and nods silently. You note it as a problem for later and turn your gaze to the two excitedly gossiping Grisha.
"I can't believe it! You too?! Who is it?! With your busy schedule with Kirigan, I didn't think I'd have time to find anyone, but here you are. Is it that handsome inferni? The one who's going on the mission with us and has been hanging around you for ages?"
"Iā¦ would prefer to keep myā¦ boyfriend's privacy for now. It's a quite new thing, we'reā¦ testing if we're a good fit." You stammer, explaining yourself, knowing full well that you can't deny these two for long. They would have known the truth anyway. You're terrified of the moment when they realize that you and Aleksander are something more.
"Oh, I understand that perfectly. Ivan and I went through the same thing, right, honey?"
"Yeah..." Ivan mumbles thoughtfully and continues to stare at you in shock. However, Fedyor is too lost in his conspiracy theory to pay attention to his significant other's behavior. For which you silently thank the saints above.
Eventually, you all gather up and head for the stables. Zoya and Fedyor mumble something to each other in the front, and you and Ivan follow. You decide that this is a good time to approach him and ask for discretion.
"You know, don't you?" Ivan stares at you for a moment, then nods silently. You swallow hard, nervously playing with the sleeve of your kefta. āListenā¦ can we keep this between us? Iā¦ I doubt itās a good idea to talk about all this now. He doesn't need to have such rumours running about us in the Little Palace."
Ivan nods at you, agreeing with your words. But you can see that something is bothering him. For a moment he grits his teeth in silence, but then he mumbles under his breath, barely audible.
"He seemsā¦ less tense. Less worried." You blush along with him. You clear your throat and turn your gaze to the walls of the corridors you pass, thinking of aā¦ neutral response to his observation.
"I... I guess he is."
"I thinkā¦ I want to sayā¦ it's good that he has you." You look at him in surprise, almost tripping on the exit steps as he says this. The blush deepens on your cheeks as you think about what he told you. "Everyone needs their own Fedyor."
You smile, seeing his gaze on his other half. And perhaps for the first time you see that they actually fit together, and Ivan is worthy of your best friend. You wonder involuntarily if Aleksander looks at you like that when you don't see...
"Yeah... I think you are right. Thank you, Ivan. You are a good friend. For both of us. Well, mostly to him." You say, referring to Aleksander. Ivan nods in silent agreement.
This strange harmony between you seems to be going strong. You are united by one goal. The good of your shadow summoner.
The four of you reach the stables. Alexei - the inferni, who as Fedyor mentioned was supposed to join your mission and had a crush on you quite openly, runs up to you quickly. But your eyes and attention are focused only on the general. Or rather, on the general and his sun summoner, as other Grishas maliciously called it.
Your blood boils, a strange feeling of jealousy hits you like a hunter's shotgun hits an animal, and you can't even do anything about it as Alina is clearly flirting with him. All you can do is stand there and try to swallow the bile of jealousy with dignity as Alina adjusts the collar of Aleksander's kefta. He somehow senses your burning gaze on him, but you quickly turn away and mount your horse without even waiting for his reaction.
He's lucky you're not official yet. And that it'll be hours before you can calm down before you can talk to him in private. But you're starting to understand why keeping your relationship a secret no longer works for the Black General. Especially when you see the way his jaw clenches when you laugh at some joke of Alexei's, causing the young inferni to give you lovey-dovey puppy eyes, to which you wink back.
You may have been cruel, but the knowledge that your lover was as jealous of you as you were of him calmed you down a bit and lifted your spirits. And if by any chance you made sure that Alina rode with you and away from Aleksander during the journey, that wasn't intentional at all. Not at all.
"So... Ivan knows." Aleksander comments as you lay in his tent, wrapped in his arms.
Ivan stood guard over your small camp while the rest slept. You decided to take the opportunity to sneak in on your shadow summoner to share the revelation. And maybe just a little to steal a few kisses and hugs from him.
"Indeed." You mumble, playing with his fingers that are slowly dripping shadows.
You bring one of his fingertips to your lips and press a small kiss there, which makes Aleksander's heart melt even more for you. He tightens his grip around you and presses a tender kiss to the top of your head before resting his bearded cheek on it with a small sigh.
"Well... sonner or later Fedyor will figure it out too. It's just the matter of time."
"Maybe... that's why I want to enjoy you in privacy for as long as I can." You prop yourself up on your elbow and lean in to steal a quick kiss. You pull away from him with a smile, but you frown, not finding any of the malice in his eyes that he would normally have at this gesture. Something was wrong.
"Y/N... Don't you think that's enough? We've been going around each other for a long time. I think the rest should know about us." A cold shiver runs through you at his words.
You try to control your heartbeat, but you know perfectly well that you are no longer able to hide your emotions from him so well. He knew you as well as you knew him.
He knew that you were not exactly keen on making your relationship public. That is why you cannot lie and pretend that it is not so. You have to convince him to change his mind somehow... but how?
"But it's so sexy to have you all to myself, a secret from everyone. Don't you love the thrill every time we sneak around each other for a kiss or something more?"
"I like that. But I don't like that I can't hold your hand outside the four walls of our chambers. I don't like that I can't go up to you and kiss you when you look so lovely after training with Fedyor or Zoya. I don't like that I have to watch others flirt with you and touch what's mine. I don't like that I can't make your cheeks blush in front of others. I don't like that I can't look at you for as long as I want without suspicion. I don't like that I can't play with your hair during particularly boring council meetings. I don't like that I have to hide the fact that I love you."
His confession hits you harder than any punch Baghra had ever given you during training. You swallow hard and kneel down next to him, watching him carefully as you try to process what heād just told you.
"You... love me?"
"I do. And if it is not enough for you to make it public... I don't know if I can go on like this anymore. I don't know if I can keep my trembling hands from reaching for you in the light of day, not just in the darkness of night or my shadows. I need more. I need all of you, Y/N."
You stare at him, utterly shocked by his sudden confession. His words both overwhelm you and warm your heart, but it's not enough to quell the panic rising within you.
Because as much as you want to be his, as much as you want him to be yours, you know that the members of the Second Army won't look so... favourably on your romance. Besides the public opinion... you're afraid that once the thrill of excitement and mystery wears off, Aleksander's feelings for you will fade dramatically and he'll realise that you're not a good match at all and that Alina would be a better choice for him.
"I... it's hard for me... to give you an answer now." You mumble, watching anxiously as his brow furrows, face darkening as he retreats back into his shell and tries to hide his true emotions from you.
"I thought it should be easy. You either want me or not."
"I want you." You respond quickly, reaching out for his arm in panic and holding it in a tight, almost bruising grip. The desperation on your face makes Aleksander sigh with relief inside. You cared. That was for sure. So why do you hesitate for so long and postpone the inevitable?
"Then why do you insist on keeping us hidden?"
You don't answer. You know he'll think your uncertainty about his feelings is baseless and pointless. You think it's stupid. But you can't escape the overwhelming feeling that the moment your romance stops being a tightrope, his feelings for you will burn out like a candle. And you really wanted to keep him by your side.
Your silence, however, is not what he wants. Or something that could help you stop him. He nods silently and stands up from your makeshift bed of blankets.
"Where are you going?"
"Outside. I'll take guard duty for Ivan." He replies emotionlessly. You swallow nervously and sit up, following him with your eyes as he puts on his black coat as he is giving you a cold arm.
"Aleksander." You whisper with a pained tone in your voice. He stops for a moment and gives you a long, haunted look. He sighs and shakes his head at your silence and walks out of the tent, leaving you alone.
The lump in your throat grows and tears well up in your eyes. You close your eyelids and lift your head, taking a few calming breaths. You fucked this up. Not for the first time, but this time you really hoped you wouldn't get cold feet and that you'd somehow stifle that little voice in your head that had always questioned your worth.
Because you felt you weren't worthy of Aleksander. Yet for some twisted reason he thought you were perfect for him. Maybe this time you should take a chance and trust him? Trust that at the end of the day he'll decide you're enough and that you don't have to be a Sun Summoner to be his equal?
After a while, you stand up unsteadily and walk to the tent flap. You glance through it and freeze when you see Alina and Aleksander talking quietly by the fire. She says something to him and puts her hand on his shoulder, but instead of moving away from her touch, he seems to cling to her and answers her with one of those smiles that make your knees weak. You feel a painful stab in your heart. As if scalded, you jump away from the tent flap and lie back down in the pile of blankets.
You bury your nose in the material that has soaked in the scent of the Shadow Summoner and close your eyes as tears freely flow down your cheek and soak into the black fur. A hundred dark thoughts, doubts, and different scenarios in which Aleksander leaves you for Alina go through your head, and to be completely honest, you don't blame him. She was a real sun. How could you possibly compare to her? You were stupid and naive to think that he would stick to you when he could have her.
The only comfort you find is that at the end of your crying, when you had no more tears to shed and were only shaking uncontrollably, Alexander came back. He came back and practically silently laid down next to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest, burying his nose in your hair. He sighed quietly and ran his thumb over your waist, holding you so tightly as if you were the most important thing in his life, and he couldn't let you slip through his fingers.
You don't make a move, don't give any sign that you're awake. You spend the rest of the night half-awake as you try to memorize the way Aleksander holds you, the way he still wants to come back to your bed at night.
Because something tells you that this state of affairs won't last long.
"Just as I thought, you look adorable even after a week of horseback riding and searching for a group of DrĆ¼skelle." Alexei compliments you as you and Zoya return to camp after scouting. You let out an uncontrollable laugh at this, amused by the absurdity of his flirting, and join the group sitting around the campfire.
"It's a pity I can't say the same about you." You say spitefully and accept from Aleksander, who is sitting next to you, a stick with a fish that Fedyor and Alina had caught earlier. Aleksander takes another stick with a raw fish and starts roasting it again. Everyone else laughs at your remark, even Alexei.
"You'll see, one day I will melt your cold heart." You roll your eyes at this. Zoya, sitting next to you, hits your arm in amusement.
"Come on, Y/N. Tell us about this secret lover of yours. Maybe it will cool Alexei's ardor."
Fedyor perks up at Zoya's words and nods enthusiastically, while Aleksander, sitting next to you, tenses slightly. You see that his knuckles have been clenching around the stick since Alexei began his flirtation with you. You fear his further reaction to this conversation, which is heading in a rather dangerous direction.
"You have a lover?! Who beat me to it?" Everyone around you laughs at the exaggeratedly hurt tone of Inferni's voice and the way he dramatically aimed his fishing rod at you. You smile involuntarily and shake your head, trying your best to keep the blush from spreading to your cheeks.
"Thanks for your concern, or rather curiosity, but my lover and I would rather keep our privacy. Besides, I can't talk about him left and right without his consent."
"Maybe it wouldn't bother him at all?" Aleksander comments, not looking at you, instead focussing his attention on the fish in the fire. You feel an uncomfortable feeling in your chest when he won't even look at you. The bitter feeling of guilt resurfaces within you, and you wonder how the hell you're supposed to fix what you've broken.
"Exactly! I don't care what you want, I wanna meet this guy who is the best sex you've ever had!" Zoya comments, practically making you choke on your own saliva and freeze in embarrassment.
Everyone around the fire is laughing at this and asking you snide questions about your mystery lover'sā¦ prowess. You glance briefly at Alexander and almost punch him in the arm when a smug, dark smile appears on his face. And from the mischievous glint in his eyes, you know he'll only put the final nail in the coffin of your embarrassment.
"The best sex you've ever had, you say?" He asks, amused, raising an eyebrow at you. You bite your lower lip and slam your shoulder into his, almost causing him to lose his balance and fall over the log. He laughs at your feeble attempt at attacking him.
"Oh, piss off." You snap at him but he just reaches over and ruffles your hair with his hand. It's only the deafening silence around you that makes you realize you've done somethingā¦ wrong.
Everyone stares at Aleksander in shock, as if waiting for him to yell at you for overstepping his bounds, but he doesn't. You see genuine shock and surprise on their faces. Before your general can say anything, you take over, trying to save the day.
"What? Haven't you ever seen two good friends banter?" You sneer at them and nod at their sticks. "Your food will burn if you sit there with your mouths open and stare at us much longer."
Somehow your words disenchant them. They go back to their usual joking, teasing demeanour, and the camp buzzes with their conversations again. You glance at Aleksander, and you can see from his face that he doesn't like the way you've handled this. You know this was the perfect opportunity to admit you're together, but after what you saw last nightāthe way he acted with Alinaāyou got too scared to tell them. If they all didn't know you were together, maybe his inevitable departure would hurt less?
You flinch as your secret lover sitting next to you suddenly takes the stick with the fish out of your hands.
"You'll burn it if you stay in your tangled thoughts any longer." He grumbles and takes the fish off the stick. You see he's completely abandoned his in favor of preparing your meal. You nod with a smile as he hands you a slice of bread and seasons the fish with the spices you brought with you.
Unconsciously to you, someone's eyes are watching the two of you closely.
Aleksander thrusts the food under your nose. You instinctively lean forward and bite into the offered sandwich, used to him feeding you, most often in the late hours of the night, when you both sit in the war room and spend time planning new tactics. You glance around quickly, but fortunately the others are too busy with themselves to notice. Or so you think.
"You're going to burn your own fish." You notice and take your food from him.
He's holding his stick back, and you decide to give him a bite of his before he gets his food. After all, he practically made you yours. You make sure no one notices and feed Alexander. He hums and brushes his lips against your fingertips before licking them teasingly. You sigh and punch him in the arm, to which he just grins wolfishly at you and winks.
You feel warm just from your playful exchange. And as the darkness grows deeper, you reach for Aleksander's hand and hold it tightly, shielding it with the hem of your coat. You smooth your thumb over the back of his hand, laughing at the stories Zoya tells. Aleksander seems much less tense, and a little satisfied, when you hold his hand tightly in yours.
And while you think no one has noticed, they have. Or at least one of them has.
At some point, Aleksander gives you his coat, insisting in a quiet conversation between you that you'll freeze and get sick if you don't take it and that he'll be fine because he's survived winters much worse than this one, and with much thinner clothing.
Your heart aches that he's had such an experience, but for the sake of peace, you take the black coat from him. You blush when he whispers that when he gets back, he'll make sure David makes you one that matches his, so everyone knows you're his.
And when he presses his lips to your forehead to check that your body temperature isn't too low for his liking, Fedyor awkwardly reveals that he's been watching you.
"Saints, Fedyor!" Alina squeaks in panic as the heartrender somehow loses his balance on the log and almost falls into the fire.
He hadn't leaned any closer to hear what you were whispering, and he hadn't nearly fallen into the fire in shock when he was the only one to notice their general's affectionate treatment of you. Not at all.
"Are you okay?" You ask him worriedly and kneel down next to him.
Fedyor swallows, trying hard not to show that he noticed the way Kirigan's gaze softens when he looks at you. He was such an idiot. How could he not have noticed that before?
"Yeah... yeah, I am fine. I should probably just go to sleep. Ivan?" Fedyor calls his beloved.
He helps him up and leads him to their tent. Before he can ask even one question about his well-being, Fedyor blurts out:
"Did you notice that Y/N and general are... very close?" Ivan at first seems not to react to his words. Fedyor only realises, through the very slight acceleration of his heartbeat, that perhaps his partner knows something more about... the unexpected connection between his best friend and the Black General. "Ivan... do you know what I think you know?"
"What do you think you know?" Ivan clears his throat awkwardly as they both enter their tent.
"Oh saints, you know right?! How long?! Was it that obvious?!"
Fedyor's mind flashes back to a million moments when your feelings for each other were painfully obvious. He remembers how Kirigan would let you playfully tease him, how he would always make sure you weren't overworking yourself and were eating the right amount of meals, and how he would look after your well-being. Hell, the general even delayed your trip to the fold because you were sick with a cold from your recent trip to Kertch! And he had behaved like a jilted, angry, resentful lover during those months! It was so painfully obvious that Kirigan was head over heels in love with you... but were you? Or was it just a passing fling? Fedyor had to know more.
"That's why we shouldn't get involved and let them decide for themselvesā¦ Fedyor, honey, where are you going?" Ivan asks confused as his other half runs out of the tent.
Fedyor throws a quick see you later over his shoulder and runs to your tent hoping to find you there so he can have a serious talk with you.
And fortunately he succeeds.
"You told Ivan, and you didn't tell me?! I am your best friend!" Fedyor shouts at the entrance to your tent. You stare at him, holding the report the falcon just delivered to you in your hands, as you are trying to understand what he means. You blush as you realise what he could be so angry about.
"Iā¦ since when did youā¦"
"Oh please. You've obviously been like this the whole time. I'm a fool for not making the connection. It's literally written all over his face that he loves you. What about you?" Fedyor sits on your blankets. Your palms are sweating and you put the reports on the ground, wondering how the hell you're going to get out of this situation now.
"Iā¦ it's complicated."
"Love is quite complicated. Maybe that's why you gave Alina a deadly look a few days ago when she was practicing her powers with the general? And you snapped at her, giving her a completely traumatic tantrum when she lost her sword?"
"Iā¦ it wasn't intentional and you know it." You mumble, blushing even more, but this time with embarrassment.
"It's a simple question Y/N. You either feel it or you don't. And from what I see, you probably alsoā¦ reciprocate. Although it's clear that he fell much harder."
"You think?" You ask with a smirk, unable to help yourself at his comment. Fedyor nods and stands up. He walks over to the shadow and places his hands on your shoulders.
"Yes. And believe me, I don't blame him. If I didn't play for the same team, or didn't have similar tastes as you, it would be really hard for me not to fall in love with you."
"Yeah, I know. We'd be a great couple if you weren't gay." You laugh at him and pull him into a hug. "But don't tell Ivan or Kirigan that."
"Sure. We don't want to upset our grumps, do we?"
Your laughter is the first thing Aleksander hears as he approaches your tent. He opens the flap with one finger and sees you standing in Fedyor's arms, laughing. A cry of jealousy and a sudden need to take you in his arms and hide you from the other man pierce his mind for a moment, but he calms down, reminding himself that Fedyor... is no threat to him. At least not romantically.
"Can I interrupt?" He asks and goes inside. You step away from Fedyor and nod at him.
Fedyor nods at him and leaves, throwing you a mischievous wink over his shoulder. Alexander notices this and connects the dots rather quickly. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist. He plants a kiss on your forehead, then rests his chin on your shoulder.
"So I guess he knows?"
His hot whisper against your ear makes you shiver. You burrow your face into his chest, nuzzling his neck as you wrap your arms around him in an equally tight embrace. Maybe Fedyor is right? Maybe when you knowā¦ you just know?
"Yeah... At this rate soon the entire Little Palace will know."
"Do you mind?" He asks uncertainly, expecting his words to hang in the air and for it to take you a while to respond with another excuse.
But you decide to bet on the truth. Show him all your cards and the same vulnerability he has for you. It was going to be everything or nothing and you knew you couldn't put it off for long. Not if you didn't want to lose him.
"Partly. I... I am afraid that once it will stop being a secret affair you will... loose your interest in me. I mean... look at me. I am not Alina." You laugh nervously and try to hide your face in his black kefta. Aleksander is not having that. He gently takes your middle and forces you to look into his dark, beautiful eyes.
"I don't want you to be Alina. I don't want you to be anything else but you, Y/N. I love you as you are. Heartrender, healer, sun summoner, inferni or whatever else, I don't care. I care about you. The way you make me feel. The way you hold me. The way you kiss me. I want you for what you really are. Not for the power you hold. Not for anything other than you."
You can barely hold back the tears in your eyes. Instead, you just nod and lean in to kiss him softly. You melt, as always, at the softness of his lips, the way he gently cups your cheeks in his hands and holds you like you're the most important thing in his life, like he can never afford to lose you. And you hope it stays that way forever.
"You damn manipulator how can I say no after that?" You gasp as the kiss ends and he rests his forehead against yours. He chuckles deeply and envelops you in the tight, warm, safe embrace of his arms.
"You can't." He mumbles against your temple and places a tender kiss there. "You are all mine. As I am yours, milaya."
And you have to say, his words have never felt more true, as he kisses you with a passion unlike any other men. You only hope that he secretly draws 'mine' on your skin for the rest of your lifeā¦ not just in his shadows and the darkness of the night.
#aleksander morozova x y/n#the darkling x reader#the darkling x y/n#aleksander morozova x reader#oneshot#general kirigan#the darkling#aleksander morozova#aleksander kirigan#shadow and bone#darkling x reader#the darkling x you#darkling x you#darkling x y/n#general kirigan x reader#general kirigan x you#romance#kissing#secret relationship#smut#fluff and angst#couples#kisses and cuddles#it got its life#I had no control over it#hope you liked it
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the master baiter
TG: dont be mad
TG: ok thats like asking water not to be wet but
CG: WATER ISN'T FUCKING WET GOD DAMMIT.
TG: look whatever remember when you said you would die for me
TG: is that karkat in the room with us right now
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CG: I'M DYING "FOR YOU" EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PEEL OPEN THOSE SHIT-EATING LIPS YOU KEEP PULLED TAUT OVER YOUR DRONING IGNORANCE SHAFT.
TG: heheheh
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CG: YOUR WORDSLUDGE SPEARS EVERY PARTICLE OF MY BODY WITH PINPOINT STRIDERIAN IDIOCY.
TG: oh shit here we go
CG: A VERBAL BARRAGE THAT PULVERIZES MY FLESH INTO A FINE RED MIST, KILLING ME INSTANTLY. WIPING ME THE FUCK OUT, TO SUCH AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE THAT PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN'T FULLY DISCERN IF A "KARKAT" FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
CG: THEY'D BE SCRATCHING THEIR NUGBONES OVER IT FOR FUCKING SWEEPS, IF NOT FOR THE SHOCKING REALIZATION MERE MINUTES INTO THEIR DEBATES THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.
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CG: AND YET THE TEMPORAL DEVICE STILL SWAYS TO AND FRO IN CONSTERNATION. VEXED BY THE COMPLETE MENTAL VACANCY PUT BEFORE IT BY MY HUMBLE SACRIFICE, BOUND BY ITS COSMIC ROLE, BEGRUDGED BY MY UNSOLICITED DEATH CLOCKING IT INTO OVERTIME. IT HAS BETTER SHIT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT! IT HAS A LUSUS AND A HIVE TO GET BACK TO!
CG: "WHAT IS THIS. WHO LET THIS ASSHOLE IN HERE," IT SAYS. THEY AREN'T EVEN QUESTIONS, JUST ORBITAL SIGHS OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE. A REALITY NOW KEENLY AWARE OF ITS OWN LAUGH TRACK.
CG: AND ITS PENDULUM TEETERS, TENTATIVE IN ITS OWN DISBELIEF AND PROFOUND APATHY.
TG: damn
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CG: "THIS SCUMBAG ISN'T EVEN GODTIER YET," IT POINTS OUT. THE AUDIENCE FLIPS THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT, AGHAST AT THIS REVELATION.
TG: hahaha
CG: IT WELLS UP SUCH A THRUM OF FUCKING ENNUI THAT THE TIMEPIECE FLIPS OFF-KILTER, LANDING SQUARELY IN THE "DUMBASS" ZONE WITH A "FUCK IT" LOUD ENOUGH TO REVERBERATE THROUGHOUT PARADOX SPACE.
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CG: IT THEN ELECTS TO KICK MY PATHETIC FUCKING HALF-CORPSE BACK INTO THE LIVING PLANE AND FORCE ME, VENGEFULLY FROM THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN IDIOCY, TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE AD NAUSEAM
CG: UNTIL EXISTENCE ITSELF FINALLY CROAKS UNDER THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.
CG: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD I BE IF I EVER GOT TO HAVE A BREAK?
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TG: yep there he is thats him offincer
TG: the man after my own heart
TG: thats a karkat brand "soft yes" if i ever heard one and i know my karkatisms dude im a goddamn graduate in karkatology
TG: i got my degree in this shit
TG: im rocking up to our convos with the dumbass black square hat thing cocked 45 degrees
TG: literally incapable of snapping it back kinda by design of the stupid thing but damn if im not doing it anyways im emanating the snappitudes
TG: im rocking my intelligence right now
TG: also water is absolutely wet dude its like the wettest thing on the planet
CG: I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF AGAIN
TG: yeah you are
CG: FUCK. I AM.
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CG: I SAID THE LAST THREE TIMES IT'S A CONDITIONAL TERM--
TG: and im saying its common sense like being wet isnt conditional when youre the perpetual thing of wettening
CG: NO
TG: and brother it is THE wet
TG: like following your conditional argument
TG: if water isnt wet then the other water molecules are constantly making each other fuckin wet so its a moot point
TG: great philosophical debate
TG: which came first the water or the wet?
CG: DAVE
TG: think about it all those particles are wetting each other up all the time and shit
TG: its a fucked up display
CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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TG: pretty much a perpetual orgy of the elements
CG: DUDE.
TG: that sounds kinda sick actually if you dont think about what it means
TG: h2orgy
CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO VETO THIS STUPID DISCUSSION--
TG: tell me im wrong dude
CG: I'M UNIVERSE-APPOINTED TO HOVER AROUND YOU POINTING OUT EVERY DUMBASS TAKE YOU HAVE FOR THE REST OF TIME.
TG: thats so beautiful to me
TG: i could cry
#davekat#dave strider#karkat vantas#homestuck#comix#the master baiter#tabbydraw#this is my answer to artblock#late nite tgcg surprise
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