#ignore me friends i like fat men lol

[afreakingmilkshake]

chat i have NOT forgotten about you. a few self indulgent gijinka doodles

[thedvilsinthedetails]

Heyyyy…

hey im still figuring out what i wanna be called but for now u can call me Jamie if u want I’m genderfluid as fuck [they/she/he or whatever idegafatp]

some typa aroace spectrum probs grayace & demiromantic also omniromantic - in general I have nothing figured out

so a simp w like a slight preference for men ig but kinda ace most of the time but sometimes very not

neurospicy bitch

writing request status: OPEN FOR MICROFICS RN

I’m a rosekiller loverrr but also a multi shipper so u never know what ur gonna see ig [but probably Rosekiller, Wolfstar, Dorlene, Starchaser maybe some sunkiller if I’m in the mood etc] for the record just bc I don’t ship smth doesn’t mean I support hating it even as a joke [translation: prongsfoot is chill leave them be]

if u don’t like smth, just ignore it, if u send me hate I’ll reply w shitty jokes probs

my dream job is to be an actor [screen actor specifically]

Media I like:

Fav TV stuff: Challengers, Gravity Falls, Cruella, 10 things I hate about you, into the spiderverse

Fav author is @neil-gaiman also that man is my idol so I’ll probs reblog him a shit ton [do u think he’ll like…mind that I tagged him? Sorry if this bothered u Neil!!!] Music [uhhh changes all the time tbh but for rn]: The Neighbourhood, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray [Kid Krow phase rn], Chappell Roan, Renée Rapp, Green day, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA and Hozier

Spider-Man. Fucking love Spider-Man.

One thing to note about me tho: obvi I love recommendations but I find starting literally any new forms of media really fucking daunting for no reason [this is everything: songs, movies, books etc]

e.g. I fucking love spider verse but I still haven’t watched movie 2, same w latest season of young royals, same with even like ONE song alone I find it rlly hard and really scary

so if u give me recommendations and I don’t get back to u about them for ages it’s not bc I forgot or i was ignoring u but bc I find it scary so pls be patient :)

also same w please don’t like assume I’m knowledgeable about like any of the music artists I named earlier bc tbh I don’t rlly listen to artists I listen to songs [im still a fan of a lot of music artists ofc but the artists I listen to ≠ the artists I’m a fan of]

HI! welcome to my crazy blog, I love making friends im not at all scary I promise :D

Btw my inbox is ALWAYS open for spam, ship ramblings [even if it’s not smth I ship], info dropping about ur hyperfixations, venting, questions etc. [the only thing is no illegal ships bc it will be ignored] also sorry pre warning im shit with the inbox chains [‘send this to ten people who…’] so often I won’t answer those sorry, anything else I will make sure to answer but the chains I sometimes just forget about sorryyy

Barty Crouch Jr & James Potter kinnie

got a FAT crush on Evan Rosier [he’s the loml he just doesn’t know it yet] and also a crush on Dorcas Meadowes

I write sometimes:

I fell for you like glitter on stage - rosekiller band au, this was a microfic series on tumblr that I posted on ao3 for convenience [words: 4548] [this is my fav thing I’ve ever written lol]

we are all just prisoners here of our own device - Jegulus, a oneshot on ao3 based on the song ‘hotel California’ by the eagles. [Words: 6162]

Oh where do we begin? The rubble or our sins? - ON HIATUS. Roman Empire Jegulus au with side Rosekiller, Wolfstar and Pandalily on ao3 [words: 6141] [currently I don’t want to write Jegulus - the hyperfixation hath faded]

also I’m in a marauders RP as Barty and u shld follow it bc we’re all super cool and funny and amazing and awesome and yeah @bartythebabygorljr

tags you’ll see on my page:

me and my old black biro > writing tag

Im in love with that Rosier boy > [this is a new one] me having a massive crush on Evan Rosier

the most boring soap opera > my life tag

I have an online diary called @miseryoforpheus if ur fascinated by my charming and irresistible personality

[The song at the bottom of my intro post changes all the time depending on how I’m feeling]

THIS BLOG SUPPORTS PALESTINE

THIS BLOG STANDS WITH UKRAINE

THIS BLOG THINKS JK ROWLING HAS A NEGATIVE QUANTITY OF BRAINCELLS

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Can you believe this shit, Jimmy?

JIMMY: H-h-h-hey

JIMMY: D-d-d-d-don't d-d-d-diss s-s-someone w-w-w-with b-b-b-big d-d-d-dreams 

JIMMY: N-n-n-not cool

TOLKIEN: I will if said dreams are ridiculous and stupid

TOLKIEN: Like being a jackass influencer

STAN: Can we shut up about Craig being a Dollar Store Addison Rae, please?

STAN: I'm getting a migraine listening to this idiotic babbling about how many likes he has

STAN: Just stop, he already does it enough

KYLE: Didn't you start bullying him though?

KYLE: Because it was funny?

STAN: Well it's not now sooooo…. shut up

CLYDE: WHO WAS MOVING THE POINTER THINGIE ON THE BOARD PLEASE CONFESS I WILL CRY

KENNY: I thought you were “manly”

CARTMAN: Woah Kenny, it is 2023 and you’re still throwing around male stereotypes?

CARTMAN: You’re getting C A N C E L E D 

CARTMAN: GUYS KENNY DOESN’T THINK MEN SHOULD CRY

KENNY: HE LITERALLY SAID HE HAD BIG MAN HANDS

KENNY: HE ADMITTED TO GOING TO HOME DEPOT????

KENNY: WHAT AM I BEING CANCELED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH?????

CRAIG: Wow, Kenny, and I thought we were friends, Smh my head

KENNY: WHAT????????

TOLKIEN: Can you move things, Mr. Spirit, sir?

CRAIG: That was so  gay of you

CARTMAN: Why would you assume it was a man???

TOLKIEN: Why would you assume, it's an it?

CARTMAN: ….

TOLKIEN: Exactly

CRAIG: Preach 

CLYDE: IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

KENNY: CLYDE SHUT UP!!! AND STOP MOVING, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BEHIND YOUR FAT HEAD

CLYDE: I'M GONNA CRYYYYY

KENNY: GOOD

KYLE: S….u…..r……e

CRAIG: Sure?

CRAIG: So the ghost wants to be basic?

CRAIG: Lmao based

STAN: Oh my god shut up

STAN: Please.

TOLKIEN: It could have just used the yes, why would it go through so much effort to give an answer?

CLYDE: Maybe they want to be best friends and are worried about messing things up or being impolite?

CRAIG: That's so based of them, frfr, lol

STAN: A ghost wanting to befriend a bunch of high, lowlife teenagers?

STAN: Yeah, I'm not buying it

CLYDE: F….u….

CLYDE: AWHHH

JIMMY: N-n-n-n-nice g-going st-st-stan, you r-r-ruined our ch-chances of be-be-bef-f-friending C-Casper, a-asshole

STAN: There is no way you actually believe this, right?

STAN: We are all in a simulation

STAN: None of this is real

STAN: We are all in a coma because the government wants to control us

STAN: Trying to make us all boy kissing gays

STAN: But not me, no

STAN: I'm smarter than all of you, so I know I can't be controlled

STAN: This Ouija board is the way for the government to mind control us

STAN: Do not be deceived.

TOLKIEN: Shut up Stan, quit talking out of your ass

STAN: Ass….A…S…S……Actual…..Super…..Sexual…..Sexual as in….Homosexual….

STAN: YOU'RE A GOVERNMENT SPY!

KYLE: Ignore him, Tolkien

TOLKIEN: Have been.

STAN: YOU’RE ALL CONSPIRING AGAINST ME!

CRAIG: Lmao holy shit I need to record this

STAN: YOU'RE ALL JUST MAD BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!!! YOU ALL ARE BRAINWASHED!!!!

CRAIG: Stan…. bffr… smile for the camera

STAN: NO!!! THOSE CAMERAS PUT MICROCHIPS IN YOUR HAND LIKE THEY HAVE THE VACCINES

CRAIG: Is he /j or /srs rn?

KYLE: He's serious, unfortunately

KYLE: Let's just move on before I get an aneurysm

KENNY: Good idea

KYLE: Is…. anything moving?

TOLKEIN: Oh I don't know, Kyle, can a blind person see?

KYLE: ….

TOLKIEN: No, exactly

CLYDE: IT'S SO DARK IN HERE I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!!!

TOLKIEN: No, Porkchop, you aren’t

CLYDE: I AM NOW!!

STAN: Everything is all so dark

STAN: It's what they want

KYLE: It's what who wants? STAN: Aliens…. they want to steal our sun…

CRAIG: Haha lmao imagine believing in aliens, couldn’t be me

JIMMY: Wh-wh-wh-what's that n-n-noise?

JIMMY: C-C–C–C–C-C-Craig…. Is th-the ac on?

CLYDE: TURN THE AC OFF YOU MONSTER!!

CLYDE: LEAVE US BE!!

CLYDE: WE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE YOU TOLD US TO GO FUCK OURSELVES!

CLYDE: BUT NAY! NAY WE SAY! CLYDE: WE, THE HUMAN COUNCIL

TOLKIEN:...... What-

CLYDE: SAY GO FUCK YOURSELF

CLYDE: GOOD DAY SIR OR MA’AM CARTMAN: OR MX!

CLYDE: OR MIXTAPE

CRAIG: Lmao okay slay, ate, ate and left no crumbs. Not a single crumb inside, bro ate the plate too frfr

(EDITS MADE BY @Pissblanket)

[whats-wild-to-you]

ok id like to ask for one where the reader is insecure about her thighs being bigger so she has the habit of covering them or moving away when he tries to touch them

then he notices and is all cute and shit and reassures her

then adding in a ”plus… more of u to love while i f--k u“

smut is not needed but greatly appreciated

this ask is so long LOL sorry if its really specific

thank u if u choose to write it (:

why do I feel like Jay might be having a thicc thigh kink? 😏

___________________________________________

"Hey babe, wanna go shopping together?"

Whenever Jay sounded this excited about something, I knew I didn't stand a chance. Resistance was futile, so I nodded and we went on our way.

Strangely, Jay was dragging me towards the women's section of the department store, while I was trying to steer him towards the men's section.

"Wow, look! Isn't this a nice dress?" He asked, holding up a yellow dress that was definitely much too short for my liking.

"When did you start cross-dressing?" I joked in hopes of confusing him.

He ignored my comment and held the hanger in front of me. When I made a disgusted face, he quickly put it down.

"You're right. That's not your color! What about something like this then?" He said more to himself, holding up a pastel green babydoll.

"Not exactly your style, but I bet you can make it work!"

"Be serious for a second!"

"I am! I thought you wanted me to come with you for advice! Had I known you'd be dragging me to the women's section, I would've stayed at home!"

Furious, I stomped off, remembering we had passed by an ice cream place on our way here.

Summer was my personal hell. Not because I couldn't stand the heat, or because I was constantly sweating. No, it was because of my body. My thighs to be more precise.

While everyone told me they were fine, I was always hellbent on hiding them. It worked out better in the colder months, but in the summer I was suffering because of the maxi dresses and long pants I made myself wear.

'Who the eff cares about if your thighs are a little thick?', my best friend would say. 'Nobody's perfect!'

But the thing was, Jay damn near was. How he decided to ask me out on a date when he was surrounded by much prettier girls, would forever remain a mystery to me. But he did. He chose me, and after a while I learned to overlook the nasty, jealous looks I got from those girls. Those with the perfect bodies, not an once of excess fat and thigh gaps. I long suspected that Jay knew about my insecurities, especially since I never let him touch my thighs when we were getting frisky. Anything below my waist was off-limits for his hands.

"Here you are! I've been looking for you!"

"Please! Where else would I be?" There was sarcasm in my voice and Jay sighed before he grabbed my hand and dragged me out and onto the parking lot.

"Where are we going? You didn't buy anything!" Suddenly I felt bad that my immature, insecure self ruined Jay's shopping trip.

"I don't need anything. I wanted to get you something though."

"What? One of those outfits? The only thing you could've gotten me in there were their giant plastic bags."

Jay knew not to cut in when I was going on and on in one of my many self-descructive rants. All he did was place his right hand on my thigh, as he steered through traffic with his left.

Damn, he looked hot doing it! How the hell am I dating that guy? I immediately stopped mid-sentence.

"I think you would look incredible in those outfits! I want to buy them for you! In fact, I'll come back here tomorrow and I will."

"I doubt I'd be wearing such clothes, you know m-"

He squeezed my thigh lightly, which made me shut up once again.

"You're beautiful, your body is perfect. I love every inch of it!"

"Well, I don't."

"You should. I actually had planned the whole afternoon, but I think right now what I need to do is take you back home and up your bedroom, so I can show you what I mean!"

I rolled my eyes at him, but giggled nonetheless. "I mean, you could try!"

[heatherdiariez]

Some advice I found on Reddit <3

REPEAT AFTER ME: This year I WILL get skinny. No matter what it takes. What you EAT in private you WEAR in public.

Tips not to eat:

-Think about how much eating has caused you sadness as a result of ur weight!

-Think of something to kill ur appetite, like remember a comment someone has made on ur body, look at pics of urself, look in a mirror, look at people who are heavier than u and remember you don’t want to turn out like them!

-Think about ur partner’s exes or crushes. Ur so much uglier than them, right? So much fatter. Don’t you want to make sure they actually love you? How do you know that if they have never been attracted to ur type of body before?

-Think about how many people will want you. How many men will have to resist trying to touch you. That’s what you want, right? The attention? To be taken advantage of? You won’t get that at your current weight, fatty.

-Eating makes u feel upset and disgusting and regretful, don’t do that to yourself!! ):

-Not eating for a few days actually feels good so keep going!!

-Ur skin will look soo much better drinking so much water and not eating all that disgusting grease.

-You are strong enough to push thru the hunger. U deserve to love yourself and feel beautiful for the first time in ur life. Don’t you want to finally be beautiful?

Meanspo:

-Do u wanna keep getting fatter, pig? No? Then ignore the urges, ignore the cravings. Don’t be so fucking weak LOL. Don’t fuck this up for us. Put the fucking food down, go drink some water n go do something actually productive with ur time. U will never get a flat stomach and a thigh gap if u keep fucking pigging out all the time. Absolutely pathetic. U say ur strong enough to not eat and then you go binge whenever u can. Ur so weak you use DID to ur fucking advantage! When ur tired of starving yourself u let someone who wants to eat in front bc ur too weak to stay. Ur too weak to get the body of your dreams. How could you even say u have an eating disorder when ur so fucking fat? Yeah disordered eating cus u eat so fucking much and never stop like goddamn. People stare at u because ur so fat and gross. Imagine if people stared at u because they’re in awe of how beautiful and small u are. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to be like them? U will never get there if u keep letting food control u, pig. Fucking fatty. You’re so pathetic you can’t even exercise for more than 5 minutes. Push urself. Push urself until u fucking pass out because it’s what u deserve. U abused ur body to get this fat now you need to abuse it to get skinny. Stop making fucking excuses and get your weight under control. Ur not special. So many people have lost weight. It’s not that fucking hard. Fast, restrict, work out until you feel sick, do whatever you need to do to get rid of that disgusting belly of urs. You think ur thin enough to eat that? You’re delusional.

-U think u can eat all that and still be thin? U know the minute you put that in ur mouth ur gonna regret it. You'll gain and gain and you'll be the same pig u always were. Once a pig always a pig! Do u like being the fat friend? The fat girlfriend? The one that everyone will always look at and think, damn, how did they ever manage to score such a hottie? A fatty like her doesn't deserve a bombshell like them. Just look at urself in the mirror. That should be enough motivation for u. You don't need that scoop of icecream. You don't need that brownie. U look fucking stupid thinking u even deserve calories like that at the weight ur at lol. U think if you keep up with this u will ever reach ur gw? Keep fucking dreaming! Why do u even have a gw? It's not like u will ever achieve it you fucking whale. Every time I see u ur eating again. Do you really let food run ur fucking life like that? How sad. Maybe if u didn't eat all the goddamn time you could lose a few- hell, u could probably lose a lot! Do u always want people to see u as the fucking beer belly bitch with no ass? If ur gonna be fat at least be curvy. But ur NOT. You look like every bitch on my 500 pound life. Disgusting. Stop eating. All i see is ur goddamn stomach. Ur new diet is water. You want to get thin? THEN. STOP. FUCKING. EATING.

-U rlly gotta stop thinking about that fast food. You don't need that shit, look how fat u are. Do u wanna be a pig? Food doesn't control you. Snap out of it. You want something sweet? Oh, you want one cookie? I fucking know you, you slob. One cookie turns into two, into three, into four, into the whole fucking bag. U have no self control. It's better to starve yourself. It's just like the fucking nicotine. You couldn't cut it out gradually. So u had to go cold turkey. Food is the same. Starve yourself. Dieting wont work. YOU NEED TO STARVE.

-It's so sad seeing u like this. So fat, so pathetic. If it weren't for them, you would have a scale. But I know u would hide it in the corner, or under the bed. You would hide it like a coward bc u cant face the reality of how fat u are. Wasn't it so embarrassing to see almost 300 fucking pounds on the scale at the doctors? Aren't you ashamed? U should be. Think about how good u will feel when u see the weight coming off of u. Ur not gonna ever reach ur gw if you keep fucking eating. So stay away from the goddamn food.

-U know what's better than stuffing ur face with shitty food? Watching the numbers go down on a scale. Watching ur skin get clearer. Eating juicy, nourishing fruits and vegetables and feeling satisfied instead of brownies, hamburgers and other crap that you'll only regret. Eventually having all the clothes in the store fit, never having to find ur size exclusively online. Never having to look in Shein Plus again. Never having to cry in the dressing room again because ur muffin top wont let u zip up ur jeans. Having smaller, perkier breasts instead of saggy disgusting ones. Being able to wear short shorts, skirts, low rise, and bikinis without worrying about ur stomach and your ass and your thighs and ur arms. All of it is gross and lumpy because of cellulite and fat. Imagine heads turning in admiration, instead of disgust. Having a hot body when everyone around u is out of shape or obese. Having curves, but not because of fat but because of the shape of ur body. All this fat makes you look misshapen. Losing fat will make ur hips and butt look bigger in comparison. Isn't that what u want? Having stores that always cater to ur size. Not having to shop online or in places like Torrid or other plus-size shops. Not having to pay EXTRA because they need to use EXTRA FABRIC because ur that fucking fat. Being able to go to thrift stores without dreading it because u know they will have something that fits u, instead of moping around and looking at the household items instead because theres no cute clothes that will fit ur pig body. Being able to wear tight clothes without looking like bread baked around twine. Being able to wear high heels without ur feet hurting after 5 min because u have to put so much fat and weight on stilts. Having a body u can show off instead of hide. Being able to go out without makeup or fancy clothes and still look beautiful. More defined facial features, neck, visible cheekbones. Not needing to wear a bra with everything bc ur boobs are too big and saggy. Not having to wear shapewear or tummy concealing jeans. Spending less money on food and feeling great about urself.

-Don't u even want to be beautiful? Think about it. Is stuffing ur fucking face beautiful? Would a beautiful person eat like u? No. You're disgusting. Beautiful is bones, Collarbones, hipbones. U keep saying you wanna look like them but you clearly dont- because u keep fucking eating like the goddamn pig u are. Go to ur room. Drink the water. Close ur eyes and imagine urself running ur fingers down your ribcage. Can't feel them at all rn can you, fatty? Imagine what it would be like to feel ur hipbones. Imagine ur fingers not looking like sausages. It would be wonderful, wouldn't it? Oh, ur hungry? Too fucking bad. Remember the joy u felt when you saw the weight go down? Embrace that. Remember that. Never fucking forget what ur fighting for. Imagine getting lighter. And lighter. And lighter. Eventually, ur at ur first gw. Then ur second. Wouldn't that feel great? Well, youll never get there if u keep eating like that. Dont. Fucking. Eat. You can be like those girls in the pictures. Ur shirts will be baggy and u wont look like a blimp. U can wear low rise. U can wear crop tops. U can wear miniskirts. All in public, with no judgement. Not only do you look fucking gross wearing them now, but they're impossible to find in ur size, because someone as fat as you SHOULDN'T be wearing that shit. U look stupid. Think about all the pants u have ruined by your thick ugly thighs rubbing together and making a hole. Think about all the crop tops u second guess wearing out because you look disgusting. Think about all the clothes u see on shein, but u can never buy, because they don't carry ur size. Think about how youre a size fucking FOUR XL on shein. Absolutely disgusting. Imagine being able to buy what u want, wear what u want, and feel beautiful doing it. That sounds good, right? It takes time. The more u eat, the longer it'll take. The more you give up on urself the more impossible it will feel to be skinny again. So start TODAY. NO EXCUSES.

If u were skinny, men would approach u

If u were skinny, you would finally feel desirable

If u were skinny, men would catcall u on the street

If u were skinny, you'd get all the attention u never had

If u were skinny, u wouldnt feel like a burden

If u were skinny, u wouldn't have to keep making them upset every time u throw a tantrum about ur weight

If u were skinny, the men in the system would feel less dysphoric

If u were skinny, you could wear whatever u wanted

If u stop eating, u wont be the "ugly girlfriend"

If u stop eating, u wont be embarrassed about eating in public

If u stop eating, your boyfriend could actually pick u up

If u stop eating, your parents would be so proud.

Some reasons to keep starving!:

-No more muffin top -No more shame -U can look good in skirts/tights -You wont be built like a fat airpod anymore -Losing weight will make ur butt look bigger in comparison -U wont be the fat one anymore -U can look cute in baggy shirts instead of gross -No more embarrassing jiggling -Won't feel dumb for running or jogging in public -Wont feel gross for eating in public -No more chubby cheeks n double chin -U already have a round face. The fat makes it rounder. U look stupid -Ur arms wont flab -Better, cheaper cosplays (please, like anyone would wanna see u as u are right now in a Panther cosplay!) -Small and dainty wrists -Long and slim fingers -Bony hands, ankles -Skinny back. Beautiful rib cage. Hip bones. Collar bones. -U can actually be picked up! -Beautiful and tiny stomach -Skinny jeans will look better on u -You will actually be able to wear low rise, crop tops, etc -You'll look better as a gyaru/mcbling girl. No one wants to see a fat gyaru -Knee high socks wont constantly roll down -So many cute outfits u have always wanted to wear -Simplest outfits make u look good, even pj pants and a tshirt -Being someone's goal -Your legs will look longer -Cute underwear and pjs -Men in the system will be less gender dysphoric -Littles in the system will be less age dysphoric -Remember, ur helping all of them. -Getting random compliments from strangers -U will finally be good enough.

IM SICK IM SICK OF HAVING TO CHANGE MY OUTFIT EVERY TIME I GO OUT BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE SHIT IN WHAT I WANT TO WEAR. IM TIRED OF SEEING MY CROP TOPS HANGING UP, UNUSED. IM SICK OF LOOKING BAD IN BOTH TIGHT AND LOOSE CLOTHES. IM SICK OF HAVING A BREAKDOWN EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT MYSELF. IM SICK OF DRAGGING THEM DOWN TOO BECAUSE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I'M SICK OF DREADING CLOTHES SHOPPING. IM SICK OF SEEING MYSELF IN THE MIRROR. IM SICK OF HAVING TO ONLY WEAR HIGH WAISTED PANTS. IM SICK OF MY PARENTS ALWAYS COMMENTING ON HOW FAT I AM. IM SICK OF PEOPLE STARING AT ME BECAUSE I LOOK DISGUSTING. IM SICK OF KNOWING I'LL ALWAYS BE THE UGLY ONE. IM SICK OF COVERING UP AT THE POOL. IM SICK OF ALWAYS GIVING IN TO MY CRAVINGS. ITS TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE BECAUSE IM SICK OF NOT FEELING GOOD IN MY OWN SKIN

10 Questions for you, before eating;

Am I going to be happy with myself after I eat this?

Am I really hungry, or am I just bored?

Am I really hungry, or do I just like the taste?

Is this food what I planned on eating today?

Will this food nourish me in a healthy way?

Have I drank water yet?

How much have I eaten in the last 24 hours?

If I had to eat this in front of a live audience, would I be embarrassed?

What would my parents say about me eating this?

Is this food worth my misery in being fat?

REMINDERS!!!!

->Be patient. U didnt gain all that overnight, so ur not gonna lose it overnight. ->Flavor is temporary but the weight gain is permanent. ->It's nobody's fault but ur own. ->Do it for ur future self ->Don't get overwhelmed by ur ugw. Take it one day at a time. focus on ur first gw. ->More water and vegetables, less junk food. Be careful with fruit. ->Chew sugar free gum+ice to control cravings ->Picture urself being skinny. Never forget what u COULD look like. ->Go outside a lot. Look at other people who are thin. Don't u want to be like them? ->NO EXCUSES!!!!! ->Always look at this document before eating. ->Keep going. U can do it!!!

Diet Rules:

-Keep starving. Hunger comes in cycles. It may hurt for 30 min, but eventually, the pain will go away and u will be fine again.

-Drink water and tea, but don't drink any sugary drinks.

-Carefully examine calories. Always.

-If u cant count calories (ex home cooked meals,) be VERY mindful of portions and what ur eating.

No red meat or bacon.

No sweets or baked goods or anything of the sort.

Keep bread and carbs to a MINIMUM.

Avoid cheese whenever u can, try to cut out as much dairy as u can

Eat lots of chicken and egg whites. No egg yolks.

If ur eating pasta, eat it plain or with a TINY bit of red sauce

No butter.

NO FAST FOOD. EVER.

Dark chocolate when ur craving sweets

GREEN TEA GREEN TEA GREEN TEA (or any detox tea)

Avoid very salty things

-Stay fit. Make sure to do workouts or at least stretches every single day.

-If u binge, suck it up and start again. Don't lose faith.

-Drink at least 2.5L of water a day

-Take vitamins every day

-Weigh urself in the morning

-Exercise before u eat so u will be losing fat not calories

-Wear tight/bulky clothes when exercising to sweat more

-Drink warm water before u eat and cold water after u eat

-Get out of the house and distract urself whenever u need to eat

-If ur rlly rlly hungry, go smoke a cigarette. Then u will have to take all the time to go outside, smoke, come back inside, shower then get dressed again. By the time u do all that (plus the nicotine,) you probably wont be hungry anymore

-Look at thinspo/instagram comments/tumblr pr04n4 when in doubt

-When u want to binge or are binging take a shot of 2tsp apple cider vinegar to stop cravings

You want them to be able to put their hands around your waist, but you can barely fit your hands around your wrist. You want to go days without eating but you can hardly do 24 hours. You want hipbones but you can't even see your ribs. You want a thigh gap but you cant see past your stomach. You want to be thin and dainty. But you have no patience. Things take time. But you're so impatient that you think after just a week that nothing is going to change. So you binge. Then you start up again. And you stop and binge. You have a recurring habit when you dont see results fast enough you need to stop. Stick to your plan for a day. Stick to your plan every day until those days become a week. And then two weeks. And then a month. Maybe three. Then you start getting the results you want. First, you couldn't even fit your thumb and middle finger around your wrist. Three months in it's your thumb and your pinkie. At first, twenty four whole hours of starving was torture. Three months later and the pain is your drug. First you had a stomach you felt embarrassed in. Three months in and all ribs are visible and your hipbones stand out through your jeans. First, you wore holes in your jeans where your thighs rubbed together, the dark marks on your skin from the rashes of chaffing whenever you wore skirts was a constant reminder of your struggle. Three months in and your legs are elegant, they no longer touch and you feel free. Three months in, you're skinny, you did it. You will be thin. You will be beautiful. Skinny. Tiny. Dainty. Beautiful.

[cowboylikeekatie]

all 35 lol tysm for answering those 2 tho!!

okay here i go!

6: i get mistaken usually around 15-16, it’s close to my age tho so it doesn’t matter

7: i don’t have any tattoos! i want to get a little disco ball tattoo when i’m older because of mirrorball by taylor swift:)

8: i just answered this one ^^

9: i have my ears pierced but other than that no piercings!

10. i want either a bellybutton piercing or double ear lobes!

11. my best friends name is richie! i forgot his tumblr so i can’t tag him tho!

12. i’m taken! i have the sweetest bf ever:)

13. i’m not going to answer my turn ons because idk

14. turn offs uh i hate when people r like really just mean?

15. my favorite movie huh i wonder…(IT 2017) (or brokeback mountain)

16. i’ll love you if you let me ramble about my hyperfixations or even better if u love them too and reply to me and we can discuss

17. i miss my grandpa because he’s like dead

18. my most traumatic experience was like probably having one of my closest friends in the past like… manipulate me into a lot of stuff, idk i don’t wanna vent so i’m not going to go into detail but it sucked

19. a fact about my personality is probably that i’m like very anxious, i talk fast i ramble fast i rant a lot it’s just a me thing idk

20. the thing about myself i probably hate the most is that i’m really avoidant without realizing it? if i start to actually be close to someone i’ll usually just get distant, or my weight. my insecurity about my weight used to be a lot worse but i just try to ignore it now

21. the thing i love most about myself is that i’m really goal oriented. i love to work hard to do something

22. OOH i love this question! when i’m older i want to be a child psychologist or a pediatrician! i want to go to yale (in connecticut) or to colby college (which is in maine)

23. my relationship with my brother used to suck a lot because we argued so much but i think we’ve gotten closer

24. me and my parents get along super well! they’ve always told me i can do whatever i want and they’re so kind.

25. my idea of a perfect date depends on the person? idk maybe a picnic

26. my biggest pet peeves are snoring and mouth breathers sorry

27. a description of the boy i like uh he’s my age, he’s probably 4 ish inches taller than me i think, he has brown hair

28. the person i dislike the most is taller than me, she’s 2 years older, uh idk

29. i try not to lie but i did have a friendship where i lied to them because i was scared they’d be mad

30. i hate the stress of it, like i’m academically motivated but i’m really scared of getting in trouble or being late to class

31. my last text message is “your gonna be my twin for twin day during spirit week right? i actually think that’ll be easy because we shop at a lot of the same places”

32. being called fat is the word that upsets me the most

33. i enjoy being called smart

34. in women i like when they’re taller, uh masc, that’s it

35. in men i like when they’re taller, glasses, long hair

36. connecticut! i want to live somewhere colder

37. my weight is one of my insecurities

38. i wanted to be a rockstar when i was little

39. coffee is my fav ice cream flavor!

okay thanks 🫡

[papirouge]

Ugh, believe me, i was also cringing at many of the comments on those threads. Supposedly, theres this trend of redhead characters being changed to being black, like Annie, Starfire, Mary Jane, or April from the ninja turtles.

Oh, and speaking of such, they were also whining because april is gonna be black in a new TMNT movie... She already was in the newest cartoon, but they wanted her to go back to being white. Also, whining about her being fat and unattractive. We're talking about a kid here, since shes younger in this incarnation, so why even care if shes hot 😭 I bet half these dudes dont even care about TMNT... To be fair, the TMNT fans did raise some hell when shredder was gonna be white in a movie, since hes originally japanese, but i doubt they're even the same ppl.

The little mermaid thing is just very sad. I feel specially bad for the actress, specially after finding out shes just 19! I hope shes just ignoring the comments, because some people can be really cruel. Even some latinos were against the decision - i think theyre quite divided, but many were making racist memes and all. I guess we cant always relay in 'poc solidarity' or whatever.

Another good point you raise is how the japanese and many other east asian countries don't care about the white race or sees them as equal (once a friend of mine actually got targeted when she went to Korea). Also, I remember reading somewhere that the japanese public liked the appearence of younger white people, basically pre-puberty, but disliked the adults, specially the men as they lose the 'soft features' from infancy.

And youre right, i really shouldnt be visiting these places: they only make me sad or angry. I dont know why sometimes i cant help but hateread those threads. When people are behind a screen, they really can spew the most vile shit thats on their minds. Like they always say, just dont read the comment section...

As I already said: every single person remotely bothered by the skin color, sexual orientation, gender or attractiveness of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS is way too old to watch/play whatever show or video game they are from. Period.

That being said, I think there's a psyop of Black characters being shoved into random thing to get White simpletons mad and seethe about White erasure. Of course, they'll never bother looking into WHO produce those show or pick these Black artists to be featured in them..... Whites need to sort between each other their obsession to use POC as props for their agendas.

Black people never bothered about The Little Mermaid or TMNT like that....sure, this (positive) representation is great and that's why the community got hyped (and let's be honest, seeing some Whites seething fueled even more fire bc one thing we Black ppl be good at is being petty lol) but to act like Black people/wokistan are actively trying to erase White people, heterosexuality, masculinity or whatever is ridiculous. Again: they have to go after the higher-ups responsible of those casting choice (not Twitter randos) - and chances are they arent Black, non-straight or female¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Taking a peep at top companies CEO entirely debunks the oppression complex narrative of antiwoke acting like the statuquo was under attack.... It's not. They just want to play the victim - while pretending to fight wokistan victim culture 🙄

Halle is perfect to play a mermaid. She had those slightly alienish features (her eyes are quite far apart lo') but still conventionally pretty. I can hardly think of any actress having the same energy. Maybe Ana Taylor Joy, but she's now botched and is an anachan which may sparks controversy if she ever gets casted in a Disney production....

And I'm absolutely not surprised to see Latinos hating lmao Latinos are huuuuge negrophobe and I'm side eyeing them so bad whenever they try to leverage their non Whiteness calling White "gringos" when they are themselves pale and are descendants of European colonizers in south America 💀 I mean look Argentinians priding themselves "not looking like a Disney movie" (= not visible Blacks in their population).....those people Looooove aligning themselves with White whenever it comes to diss Black people. Therefore Black people are extremely distrustful of Latinos anyway ; we see how they treat they darkskined citizens

POC solidarity is a myth. Unmelanated non-Whites hate actual people of COLOR, and all races look down on Black Africans...That's why I'm foremost defending MY people.

Yeah, there's this misconception of thinking that bc they dye their hair blonde and wear color contact, East Asian want to 'look White'. i think they definitely fancy the diversity of White ppl's phenotype such as the eye and hair color, but for pretty much all the rest, they cater to their own specific beauty standards (especially when it comes to bone structure and face proportion). White people tend to favor sharper bone structure while Asian are all about rounder and softer ones. I don't think Asians look up White people face structure (that make them look older and faster). This contrast was really striking with Kotakoti stunts in japanese magazines where she looked so out of place : despite her dolly blonde hair and blue eyes, she still had those strong adult Westerner features which were so different from her japanese pals' 🥴 (more soft and rounder)

East Asian beauty culture is hysterical though, and even though Asian men have softer features than Western men, their obsession with 'softness' compels them to look more soft than they naturally are. Ultimately men regardless of their race are men ; if Asian men were naturally looking like soft potatoes they wouldn't need to resort to all these procedures to look like that🥴 Men with square jawline botching themselves to have egg face shape is a crime against humanity btw. (square jawline are beautiful on both sex imo♥️)

And the internet isn't a safe space for Black women. There was a stat showing that Black women were more at risk of online harassment compared to any other demographics..... Social medias (especially Twitter) literally feed off your anger (for engagement), so thread lightly. That's why Tumblr is my favorite social media ; it's mostly an image board, and my dash is only curated with what I choose to see.

[sweetswesf]

Check In

What I Did Today

Actually woke up w/my alarm

Procrastinated getting the day started after waking, but at least I did not hit snooze!

Worked out

Talked to my gym crush...albeit nervously, but I still did it!

Accepted the invitation to the event hosted by the only 2 men I've slept with...then invited a friend...then commenced to trying on what I plan to wear...I hope I don't have a nervous panic reaction and start shaking when talking to one of them like I did last time in a surprise encounter of them *eyeroll*

Worked for about 6 hours on the AlgoExpert videos! This is the longest I've spent on them.

Cooked all my meals, never ordered out, and ate pretty balanced!

Stayed pretty hydrated

Took a walk for 10 minutes after dinner

Got over 10k steps

Did BOTH of my face wash routines

Look at this progress!

What I Learned Today

Hash tables, stacks & queues, strings, & runtimes of their common operations

I can do this!

Feeling

Accomplished; I got a LOT done...more than I thought

Proud of myself; I didn't even need a nap nor did I get hella tired today

A bit more energized now that I'm averaging a bit more hours of rest at night and a little less constant stress...work put a LOT of stress on me...no matter what I did, I always felt like I was being watched or should have done something better, or that I should have been monitoring something that I deployed somewhere

Hopeful that I can keep this up and do better

Grateful that I don't have crazy headaches anymore...slight dizziness...but, I just remind myself to keep pushing through

Takeaways

I'm going to get something like that house in Spain

Don't allow my mind to think negative thoughts

As I have heard throughout my life, I gotta stop being so hard on myself...

How I Got Myself Out of a Rut Today

My friend telling more people I am looking when I am not trying to interview drove me nuts for many reasons: 1) I have a LOT of things lined up that I am PREPPING for!!!, 2) I TOLD him I was not trying to interview right now...MANY TIMES, 3) I would NEVER apply to the places he's volunteering my name for without running past me, 4) This lowers my stock having someone search around for me when I don't want or need them to...After telling him to chill and taking a big sigh, I got to work, because I need to shake this identity off me! LOL If I was prepared, I wouldn't even have aggressions like these! It sounds spoiled, but I hope y'all understand; I appreciate his gesture, but he's deciding to ignore my judgement despite me telling him, and throughout my life I have been trying to show people that I got it and some just don't trust my word, even if I was trying to prove it to them (which I'm not)...

Wasting less time overall

Telling myself it's okay to feel tired and that it was going to be worth it

Goals Completed

Found a therapist

Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...

Got back on the ball

Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%

Goals After Today

Strengthen my relationship with God

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3

Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels

Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube

Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them

Be more confident & faithful

250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently

Drink more than 64oz a day consistently

Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too

Learn more about my gym crush & get him to ask for my number

Get a house similar to that one in Spain

Update my personal app

[historixally-accurate]

hee hoo its late at night but im still awake so im repsonding teehee. youre probably gonna see this during breakfast, so. good morning! ohaiyo早安 selamat pagi <3

YOURE A NATURAL ENGLISH A1er?!?!?!? god damn but also lowkey me too LOL. i dont remember much from when i was still wriitng narrative/discursive essays, but i found it easier than others for the most part. holy yap. ill gladly listen to you yap too its only an equivalent exchange...we're both a bit insane for men halfway across the world who love to go fast in a video game.

your primary school sounds like a nightmare. goddamn. i guess my prisch was also pretty pressurising, but from the sounds of yours, suddenyl i think it wasnt that bad after all... psle huh, crazy times. seems so long ago help now i feel old. i hope youre gonna be okay in your current school :,) the sg school system really doesnt let up, but its really, really important to know that youre never alone!

thanks for the compliment about marker mediums, though i dont think its actually that bad unless you have markers that are seriously in need of rescucitation. like on their last legs. unfortunately i cant send a picture of that kazuha because going anon removes the image sending feature, so maybe someday in the future. once i work up the courage to actually talk to you under my handle >_>

OH WOW you really have a hbg themed phone thats so cool u_u i agree with your family, thats swag as hell. the slingshot feinberg quote sent me for absolutely no reason, im shaking w laughter rn and frantically trying to suppress it so i dont wake my family. send help😭😭 and youre so real for the daily usage of the word "mongey". its only NOT invaded my daily speech because im purposely avoiding thinking about it...if i bury myself in doing sports surely the bigbigmongey brainrot wont get me smile (no this isnt copium wdym) this is ignoring the fact that without thinking i keep saying "what the sigma" and "what the skibidi" unironically btw. both my friends and i know im cooked as fuck

i actually did NOT know there was an upcoming BAC stream. im like a fake ahh fan... ill do my best to be there but uh. my duties arent over, despite it being the hols. this sucks :^(

mad respect to you, actually playing the game you watch. my lazy ass would NOT get off my ass enough to do this ever smh. im sure getting knocked off by a piglin is a pain every speedrunner can relate to . same goes from hitting the cope. except for me, if that shit ever happens im skipping the cope and striaght up hitting the bong. for SG legal reasons this is a JOKE! MOH please dont find me

hey you take lit too ? aura level just went up dawg. youve just caught a fat lit lover right here. im a guilty guilty poetry lover. sorry i just love both poetry and prose it makes me go WidePeepoHappy

lowkey though if you ever decide to take a HBG members legs may i suggest mr lewis fulham ive heard him being desrcibed as a birch tree so that means hes tall right. ill even aid and abet! im sure he wouldnt miss a few cm

bro did NOT just do the clash royale laugh at me😒😒my friends keep telling me im firmly chaotic evil. like damn where is the democracy bros didnt even give me a chance to squeak out a fart before straight up attacking my reputation😟 they my opps frfr

i get it when you say you get pressed cause whenever things dont go as theyre supposed to i inwardly get more and more tilted LMAOOO dw ur not the only one.

i would loooove to watch hbg do more sports related content because i find it hilarious that the one time at twitchcon (?) during poundy's football match there were SO MANY INJURIES... tf you mean couri broke his mf elbow in a sport supposedly restricted to legs. as a sportsperson i really do love playing sports wahaha <3

i cant tell if youre serious about liking amath but damn if you like amath thats really good smile :) much more formula based but overall more predictable.

question for today... what made you decide talkingmime was your favourite hbg member? kinda curious and wanted to give you a reason to yap more about him . feel free to type out a response the lnegth of the mekong river, i promise ill read it i love to read (maybe that why im such a good lurker LMAO). personally im still undecided on who my favouirte member is, but since ive talked so much about mr condiment cringe man 21custard i guess ill just say i like him cause of his goofy ahh humour and memes. im just a sucker for people with good vibes/dryass humour/an entire arsenal of your mom jokes. dont ask about tgat last one. im currently trying to know tekniik better and im falling victim to more deez nuts and your mom jokes than ive ever experienced before. i love it btw

holy yap i think ive talked too much.....never trust anything you say after 9pm....i think they were right the demons got to me. namely my unhealthy terminal obession with fart jokes. same to you, hope you have a beautiful mongey pyun pyun morning <3 always happy to give you an essay response. arigato for readin ;)

-sgmcsr anon

hi anon!!! sorry for the late response, I just got sick and I WAS SLEEPING FOR HALF THE DAY TODAY. let's get cracking

about my amazing spectacular skibidi English, yes! natural English a1-er ^_^ well actually it was only up till like eoys where I got my first DEVASTATING B3, but apart from that, I've been doin good for English. call me. idk Shakespeare. idk. ALSO SHARING OF YAP.. whenever you gain the courage to ask on main, I'll gladly yap with you... I'm online literally 24/7 now that I've got nothing to do with my life, so it'll be nice to speak with someone in the same timezone and who has the same interests that I do.

about my primary school, yeah it was a little bit of a nightmare academically. coming to think of it, because of all I experienced, it doesn't seem that bad because I experienced it. but on paper it's terrible. wow. anyway, not to be trauma dumpy or unskibidi ^_^ struggling to make friends in my current school, and MOE's school system is unrelentless as always, but ball it we fuck, I am okay.

about marker mediums.. I see... that's really cool.. yeah, all my markers are like. dried up and I haven't bothered to go buy new ones or ask for new ones </3 I'd love to see the weed smoking kazuha one day... very excited

about my skibidi HBG wallpaper. I feel like my layout is hella cramped, but its what I have to work with because. I don't know how to organise my phone. maybe I'll sit down one day and figure out how to make it cooler </3 also, very mongeyful, very beautiful. I am filled with mongey joy. ome

not sure if it's obvious, but fein has also cultivated my usage of the word 'skibidi' specifically?? it's very obvious because I say it every 5 seconds :') and because of one specific mime clip, fulham has influenced me to say the word 'peculiar' very very often 😭😭😭 like instead of calling someone weird, I'll say 'dude! you're soooo peculiar.' yeah, I'm a little normal!

bout the upcoming BAC stream, yeahhh I don't blame you... mime released that fact like. a couple streams ago, and even then nobody knew he was live except for like. 20 people? so i dont think it's just you who doesn't know, dw! I'm just caught in the loop :3 besides, it's on either November 22nd or 23rd, and it'll take at least 24 hours, so don't worry about not catching it for at least a little ^_^

about my. haha. very terrible learning of how to speedrun. despite getting all the help I could ever want to speedrun, I'm still absolutely terrible at it, and I can never find the motivation to do so </3 I'd love to be better and gain more confidence or motivation.. I just don't know how to do that. also, fuck hoglins, suck it pigs >:(

ALSO. FUCKING FART JOKES?? I'm drawing the line...anon... you are behind bars now........ STAY AWAY!!!!! (/j please stay they're funny) as someone who's purely true neutral, I have no comment and will nod my head, saying 'normal ass Tuesday in singapore'

about which HBG members people.. fuck it you get the point I'm tired of this format. yeah! Singaporeans and their short fuses, it is so normal and I am no exception </3 it's awesome tho, I can keep boundaries as someone who says yes too much 😎 hell eyah

HBG FOOTBALL. couriway breaking his arm, silver r runs spraining his ankle and tapl harvey also. straining his ankle iirc??? that shit was so chaotic. IF YOU WANT HBG PLAYING LIKE. FOOTBALL. THE MINECRAFT KIND. here's a feinbergfunny/feinberg rocks video. enjoy.

I haven't done too much amath, but. ohhh it's so. clear cut?? it's very inchresting. I think it's not terrible so far... but I can't say for myself </3 must keep grinding forward and see

GOLDS DAILY DOUBLE.. why is mime my favourite HBG member.. and how did I come to that conclusion... man, it's been like 2 months.. I think it's cuz i watched the silverrrunsfunny video about HoN? and it's a lot of mime n silverr clips... the 5 minutes that they were trapped doing parkour in a cubby hole tryna get the last easter egg made me extremely intrigued like.. who is this MIME GUY... he's so peculiar... and then I finish the video, and see talkingmimefunny recommended!! I watched all his videos. and I got hooked. SO FAST. ended up finding people who also like him, and found out he did BAC, and. the rest is history. or historix. haha. Hahaha. I like mime because of how smart and organised he is, I also like how he take initiative in a lot of events that he's participating in together with friends. I also like people who are snarky and have a very interesting voice but you didn't hear this from me. at all. aaanyway, apart from mime, I also really like nEmerald and fein? I like emerald because he reminds me of lifesteal cc mapic, which drew my attention to him. he's also really silly. and I'm a sucker for people who have green as their colour pallete. feinberg.. he's just. silly. and he's feinberg man I don't know what else to say bout that 🤷

Holy yap. happy 11pm! NEVER UTTER THE WORDS 'HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MONGEY PYUN PYUN MORNING' EVER AGAIN. I CRIED. SO HARD. it's fucking hilarious. I'll start using that with my friends. anyway, as always, have a skibidi-tastic, mega ultra kawaii, animefied morning if you see this, and an alpha, rizz master night if you're seeing this at night and you stay up.

here's your daily mime doodle :)

[gretagerwigsmuse]

i love that he government names her!?! like the boy is so GONE! major shout out to bob for slapping some sense into that silly boy bradley even tho he did have to phone a friend when his brain broke sitting on mary’s couch again 🤦🏼‍♀️ i really love how much they talked things out this chapter and how much we got to see of that process in addition to all the pining from bradley and the cute moments with them in bed (sleeping, people! sleeping! mind out of the gutter!) and i’m curious to see if they’ll be able to go through with their post deployment plans 💕

Even being asleep wasn’t safe; Mary had been consuming his nights, wonderful dreams of being with her intermixed with bad dreams of having to watch her with another man. - oh bubs!!! definitely need to know more about those wonderful dreams tho 👀

Except, the speed dating isn’t actually speed dating; it’s some sort of convoluted speed dancing. - lol tbh i’m shocked bradley even kept the bracelet on

“….absentmindedly playing with his own wristband. White. Here for fun, not to flirt. He’s having a terrible time. - he’s so fucking dramatic i love his old man ass

The boys laugh as his face twists in disgust. Natasha is great at many things, choosing a good bar is not one of them. - this is such a fun little detail! nat def falls for all those instagram restaurants and bars

“[Jake] was supposed to be here, but he texted me and said he wasn’t going to make it. Something came up, apparently.” - hmmm and was the ‘something’ miss flora phillips perhaps??

“Mary looks really good.”……She looks gorgeous. But Harvard doesn’t get to say that about his girl. She’s not your girl. You fucked up. - jealous bradley 👀 it’s fun to see him jealous of harvard! i know we’ve talked about this, but i like how it’s harvard? and that harvard seems pretty close with bradley? it’s not a friendship pairing you see often? also i love the ref dress you picked for mary!! i just know it looks stunning on her! also i like that it’s green ☺️ reminds me of bradley in some way

Bradley’s heart warms a bit when she answers his question first. - this is so cute!!!

“The lady told you no. I suggest you listen to her before we make you listen.” Omaha threatens from his position across the table. Bradley is happy that Neil spoke up before him because he wouldn’t have been so nice about it. - i also like that it was neil that spoke up! it shows she has all the guys on her side and is friends with all of them? i like that it’s not just bradley? (reuben goes without saying obvi!!!)

“I’m presenting a few sections, plus I have to do a shop tour and demo, which will be uber fun.” - lil big wig smarty pants up here!!

“I still don’t know why I didn’t just let her explain!” - BITCH ME NEITHER!!

“You can’t tell anyone what I just told you, not even Natasha!” Bradley is borderline frantic. “You’re the second person I’ve told” - WHO IS THE FIRST!?! IS IT HIS DAD?? (RE MAVERICK?)

They make eye contact, and he can see the gears in her brain working. She turns around, hips swinging hypnotically, and he loses his breath when she peeks over her shoulder at him. Bradley’s heart soars when she wiggles a finger at him. - THIS IS SO CHEEKY AND CUTE OH MY GOD!!

“For what? The fat bitch probably liked it. She’s practically begging for it in that dress.” - oh hell no uh uh

Bradley doesn’t even think. He lunges, ignoring Mary’s yell for him to stop and taking the asshole down with one punch. - oh you stupid boy 🤦🏼‍♀️ i liked the bit you added about the bouncers worried mary was leaving with bradley and wanted to make sure everything was right!? irl not too common 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

“Bradley is going to drive me home, but you guys should keep having fun.” - lol that’s an order tyvm!!!

“And then, when I tried to explain, you didn’t let me say anything! You just said we should forget everything that happened and move on! So I tried to forget! I tried to respect your wishes! But tonight, all you could do was watch me dance with other men!” - honestly yes! call him out! she tried to tell him at the super bowl party and he didn’t want to hear it and unarguably made it worse and then he has the audacity to be olivia rodrigo jealously jealousy all night!? uh uh

“We either forget what happened and we see other people, or we talk about what happened and go from there! There’s no in-between option where you get to be upset whenever I flirt with a man that’s not you! So what’s it gonna be? Are we moving on, or are we having a conversation?” - and i LOVED this part!!! i liked how clearly she spelled this out for him and how they’re going to have a real conversation about it? so many times that just gets glossed over in fics, so i’m really looking forward to it!

“You’re so hard.” He’s not sure why she’s surprised. She has to know she’s had him on the verge of an erection since she opened her door this morning. - oh my gosh thank you for giving this to us from his side! i love his question of not being sure why she’s surprised?

He shrugs, feeling sheepish as he explains what got him going. - i know i’ve mentioned it before but i love how sheepish and he was in that scene (but in hindsight mayhaps a little too shy…)

Their lips brush, and he’s about to move his hand to the gusset of her underwear - he needs to know how wet she is for him - when they’re interrupted. - screaming about it

“It’s nothing you did, Bradley. It’s all on me, my insecurities. Men rarely - if ever - have had the same… enthusiasm that you did. You were great; this is a me problem.” - i really like how you handled this and had her clarify it was built up in her head? that the original issue and freezing out wasn’t his fault (it wasn’t until after the super bowl party that is was his fault 🤦🏼‍♀️)

She’s wearing his sweatshirt. “Sorry,” she says shyly, noticing his stare. “I’ve been wearing it to bed; I promise I’ll wash it.” - ummm girliepop he’ll be so distraught if you do so best not!!

“Sitting there with you in my lap? That’s the hardest I’ve ever been; I think about it all the time. How warm and soft you were.” - he thinks about it 🫠 all 🫠 the 🫠 time 🫠

“I know I said we should forget what happened, but I don’t want to forget. I want to do that again without getting interrupted this time. I want to take you out on a date. I want you. If you’ll have me.” - AHHHHH THIS IS SO PERFECT ‘if you’ll have me’ you can have me any way you want me!!

“That was last January. You’ve been flirting with me for an entire calendar year. And I’m so oblivious that I didn’t even realize you were interested until you were grabbing my ass and moaning against my mouth.” She rubs her face. “So I just need some time to process this because I never thought this - us -could be an option.” - oh sweet girl!! (and also sweet boy he’s been gone for her for 13 months 🤭)

“Mariella, it’s been a year, and nothing has changed since I saw you in that red dress. A few extra weeks where we’re just friends? That’s nothing if it means you’re comfortable.” - GOVERNMENT NAME!!! GOVERNMENT NAME!!! HE WANTS HER SO BAD (but seriously i’m so excited for their sunday night date!! the anticipation is gonna kill both of them!!)

“This is the whole communication thing we just talked about. Believe me when I say that sharing my king-sized bed with you for one night won’t make me uncomfortable.” - him being nervous about sharing the bed with her because of how his body might reaction like he wasn’t just on her couch a month ago hard as a rock 👀 like bradley i Get You, but also sleep in the damn bed!!

“Bradley, you are not climbing into my bed, which has nice fresh sheets, with those clothes you wore to the club. God knows what’s on those chairs we sat on.” - a woman after my own heart. yeah no fucking way you’re getting on my couch let alone my BED in outside clothes???? hell no, strip fly boy!!

She makes a small noise of agreement. “I don’t know about after, though, if we would have had a better go of things that we have. It might have been worse, I’m not sure.” - i liked that he asked and i liked that she gave him an honest answer? and then this was perfect too!! ugh i want them to snuggle up in bed tonight ☺️🤭

Mar[r]y Me - part six

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

summary: A love story told through friendship, laughter, and food.

series warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussion of insecurities, difficult family relationships, discussions of food and alcohol use, discussions of body image, one (1) drunk asshole, conversations on what it’s like to be a fat woman trying to date in today’s society, warnings to be added as needed

word count: 5.9k

previous part | series masterlist | main masterlist

note: happy Friday!! it's August here in the real world but it's Valentine's Day in the Mar[r]y Me universe, so what will these two do surrounded by love and pink hearts? can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts!

part six - pancakes

God, I made a mistake.

Bradley has suffered through five days of the same thought on a constant loop. His brain started up the second he walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Only getting short reprieves when he had to fly. Even being asleep wasn’t safe; Mary had been consuming his nights, wonderful dreams of being with her intermixed with bad dreams of having to watch her with another man.

He felt like he was living one of those nightmares for the last three songs, watching Mary dance and giggle with some guy in his twenties.

I should be the one making her laugh. My hands should be on her hips, not his.

He cursed Natasha for dragging them to this stupid Valentine’s Day speed-dating event. Except, the speed dating isn’t actually speed dating; it’s some sort of convoluted speed dancing.

As announced by the host, there are only two rules:

Every person must wear the wristband they received upon entry; the wristbands correspond to your relationship status, so respect the color code system.

If you’re dancing, you have to dance with a new person for each song.

“Unless you’re really hitting it off with your dance partner.” DJ Socket had added with a wink before starting the night off with a horrible remixed version of My Funny Valentine.

Natasha, Callie, and Mary had laughed at the bad song choice before throwing back a shot of tequila and shimmying their way to the dance floor, pink wristbands glowing under the disco ball.

According to the event flyer that had been spammed in the group chat for the last two weeks, a pink wristband meant single and ready to mingle.

Bradley watches as the infant with a bad haircut tries to hit on Mary to what he thinks is a Justin Bieber song, absentmindedly playing with his own wristband. White. Here for fun, not to flirt.

He’s having a terrible time.

“Rooster. Rooster? Bradley!”

The use of his real name snaps him out of his thoughts. “Sorry, Bob, what was that?”

“I asked if you were okay. You don’t look great.”

He feels his heart clench a little bit. He’s always had a soft spot for the bespectacled man, Bob paying attention to small things that others rarely caught. Though even a blind person could see the way Bradley is staring at Mary, the pining radiating beyond the two high-top tables the Daggers had claimed as theirs.

“Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long week.”

Bob raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth, but Harvard interrupts him before he can investigate further.

“It’s weird seeing the girls in dresses instead of their coveralls.”

“I’m just wondering how they convinced Callie to wear heels. Omaha practically had to bribe her to wear something other than her Vans to our wedding.” Fritz says, his red wristband - taken and in love - flashing when he takes a sip of his bright pink drink. “God, these drink specials are awful! This is the last time Phoenix gets to choose where we go.”

The boys laugh as his face twists in disgust. Natasha is great at many things, choosing a good bar is not one of them.

“We should have let Jake plan; he found that complex with the mini golf and everything. That was so much fun!” Aaron adds before turning to Javy. “Where is Jake? I thought he was coming.”

Javy shrugs. “He was supposed to be here, but he texted me and said he wasn’t going to make it. Something came up, apparently. He said everything was fine, so I’ll check on him tomorrow. Make sure he’s all good.”

“Mary looks really good.”

Bradley stiffens, his mood dropping from happy back down to pissed off as steam pours out of his ears. She doesn’t just look good. She looks amazing. The light green, satiny material of her dress is hugging her figure just right, showing off her curves in the most delicious way. The slit up her leg showing off the thighs he dreams about getting his hands on again.

She looks gorgeous.

But Harvard doesn’t get to say that about his girl.

She’s not your girl. You fucked up.

“There she is! Can I get you a drink, ma’am?” Harvard stands up, holding his bar stool steady while Mary climbs on, scooting it in when she’s settled.

“If you’re going up, I’ll take a water, please.” She smiles at him, cheeks flushed from dancing.

“You want anything stronger to go with that water?”

“Vodka sprite, if it’s not too much of a bother.”

“You got it, sweetheart; anything for my new backseater!” Harvard flashes his toothpaste commercial-ready smile at her before making his way through the crowd to the bar. Him and his pink wristband quickly getting lost in the masses.

“I missed something. Backseater?” Javy asks.

Bradley watches her laugh and lean on the table, grabbing a chip after Aaron pushes the basket toward her. “He’s just trying to be funny. We’re both headed up to Lemoore next week - I’m helping out on some repairs, and he’s doing some sort of mentor program? I don’t know exactly. Anyway, Cyclone suggested we drive together since we’re staying at the same hotel. I told Brigham he’s driving since he insisted on getting this godawful 30-foot pickup truck, which makes me his temporary backseater.”

“Make sure you don’t eat anything before riding with him, or you’ll paint the windshield.” Omaha jokes.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Please. If I didn’t hurl after a greenhorn took me up and executed one very poor barrel roll before getting himself grounded, I think I can handle Harvard’s driving.”

“You’ve flown?”

“Was it an FA-18?”

“How do you fuck up a barrel roll?”

“Did you like it?”

Questions are hurled at her from every direction, all the boys interested in the fact that their favorite mechanic had been airborne in the backseat of a fighter jet before they knew her.

“I did like it!”

Bradley’s heart warms a bit when she answers his question first.

“It was an FA-18, and I think we technically hit Mach-1, but my brain has burned the trauma of that hop from my memory. It was fun until that bad maneuver because when I say greenhorn, I mean green. Like as fresh as you can possibly be.” She shutters, only partially joking. “But I didn’t throw up, and that’s a major point of pride for me.”

“It’s only because you hadn’t eaten yet that day.”

The warmth disappears, again, when she smacks Brigham’s arm after he puts her drinks down. “I told you that in confidence! And I think it still counts because I’m a civilian and have done none of the training you guys do.”

“How did you even get permission to fly?” Javy questions, stealing a sip of her water, grinning at her when she glares.

“When I was in Florida, I got close with some of the higher-ups, and one of them arranged for me to go on a simple flight so I could see what it’s like. It was really sweet of him!”

“Who did you sweet talk into getting in a jet?”

“He sweet-talked me! Actually, it was more like he manipulated me. It came up that I’d never been on a flight - which is totally normal for an engineer, by the way - and he egged me on until I agreed to go up.”

“Oh my god, you got suckered into a ride with a flight school newbie? Who managed that?”

“I don’t know if you guys know him. I don’t think he was in Pensacola when you were going through flight school, but it was Admiral-”

“Hey, baby, wanna dance?”

Her face changes immediately, annoyance spreading quickly. “No. I’ve already told you I don’t. Leave me alone.”

“Oh, c’mon, you know you want this-”

“The lady told you no. I suggest you listen to her before we make you listen.” Omaha threatens from his position across the table. Bradley is happy that Neil spoke up before him because he wouldn’t have been so nice about it.

The pushy asshole looks around the table and decides not to press his luck after seeing eight men puffed up, ready to defend their friend.

“What a dick! He had a red wristband on, and he still tried to hit on you!”

“Welcome to being a woman, Mickey. Doesn’t matter if you’ve told them no or if they have a partner. Men will be gross and overbearing if they think it’ll benefit them.”

She sinks back in her chair, sipping her drink and sending a small smile to the boys in thanks. The group disburses a bit, most joining Nat and Callie on the dance floor, leaving Mary sitting with Fritz, Bradley, and Bob.

“Hey, speaking of gross and overbearing, did you hear the rumor that Admiral Cain is coming to the program review next week?”

It perks her back up; she excitedly leans forward, happy to talk about something else.

“Oh! That’s not a rumor, Fritz. That’s 100% true. He’ll be presenting his case for increasing unmanned drone research. But he’s going first on Tuesday, and then he’s back in Washington that same afternoon, so thankfully, we’ll only have to deal with him for a few hours.”

“Thank god, I had to deal with him for a little bit when I was at Norfolk, and he was worst. I know drones are getting more popular for high-risk missions, but they’ll never be able to fully replace pilots.” Billy clinks his bottle against Mary’s glass when she holds it up, swallowing the last of his beer. “You’ll have to excuse me; it looks like my husband wants me to dance with him.”

Bradley watches Mary stare longingly at the dance floor, her eyes following the happy couple dance in perfect sync with each other.

If you hadn’t messed up, that could be the two of you out there.

“So, what parts of program review do you have to sit in on?”

Mary turns, a soft smile on her face - Bradley knows her soft spot for Bob matches his own. Both of them protective over the younger man who cares so much, yet so quietly.

“I have to be there for almost all of it. I’m presenting a few sections, plus I have to do a shop tour and demo, which will be uber fun.” She rolls her eyes, knowing how some admirals like to knit-pick at how a shop is run and organized. “All my free time this week will be finishing my slides and polishing my presentation.”

“Wow, on top of helping with Lemoore’s repairs? You’re gonna be busy these next two weeks.”

“Very busy, but we’ve already done the repairs I’m helping with down here, so theirs should go much smoother! But I'm genuinely excited for program review because I’ll get to see some people I worked with in Florida! I think I’m going to try and poach a few of them that I really miss.”

“You’re gonna steal your friends to work for you?” Bradley regrets the question when he sees her face falter for a split second, realizing his tone wasn’t as joking as intended.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about it. They’re really smart and talented, plus it’d be nice to work with them again.”

The relief that breezes through his chest at her grin and kind tone quickly disappears when Harvard pops up and pulls her toward the dance floor.

“Hang- hang on!” She giggles, turning to Bob. “Would you mind keeping an eye on my purse while Brigham steps on my toes to bad 90s love songs?”

Bob’s, “No problem.” overpowers Harvard’s protests of, “I’m not gonna step on your foot again!”

She pecks his cheek, leaving a faint pink stain behind as she follows the Ohio man onto the dance floor. And for several songs, Bradley's stomach twists as he watches his two friends dance pressed close together.

“Why don’t you go dance with her?”

“She doesn’t want to dance with me.”

Bob scoffs. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Bradley, what happened with you two?”

He doesn’t answer; just keeps fiddling with the label on his beer and watching the dance floor. The two sit in uncomfortable silence for the first time in their friendship.

“I fucked up.” He confesses everything to Bob. The night on her couch, their interruption, the tiff just a few days ago. He doesn’t spare any detail, no feelings. “I still don’t know why I didn’t just let her explain! Even if I was mad that she was ignoring me, she had her reasons - she wouldn’t do something like that for no reason!”

Bob is stunned. He doesn’t know what to say to comfort his friend. None of the group’s theories had even been close to the reality of what happened.

“You can’t tell anyone what I just told you, not even Natasha!” Bradley is borderline frantic. “You’re the second person I’ve told, and I don’t know if Mary has told anyone, but I don’t want everyone knowing. I don’t want what happened to be the talk of the group.”

“I won’t tell anyone, Bradley. Not even Nat. But I do get bragging rights when the two of you finally get together.”

“That’s not gonna happen. I messed up too much, man.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

He looks where Bob is pointing, watching as Harvard twirls away with a pretty redhead, leaving Mary dancing by herself. They make eye contact, and he can see the gears in her brain working. She turns around, hips swinging hypnotically, and he loses his breath when she peeks over her shoulder at him. Bradley’s heart soars when she wiggles a finger at him.

She’s calling me over. Maybe I didn’t totally fuck this up.

His joy is short-lived. The same red wristband asshole as before getting in her space, trying to grab her ass as she pushes him away. Bradley practically falls out of his chair to get to her.

“Get away from me!” Mary pushes the stranger’s hands off and stumbles back from the force, colliding with Bradley’s chest as he comes to help.

He steps forward, angling his body to shield her as she tucks herself into his side. “She’s told you to leave her alone at least twice now. Walk away before we have a problem.”

The sleazy man rolls his eyes, “Whatever, man.”

“No, not “whatever,” man.” Bradley steps forward, disregarding Mary tugging on his arm. Her pleas for him to stop falling on deaf ears. “You’re going to apologize to her.”

“For what? The fat bitch probably liked it. She’s practically begging for it in that dress.”

Bradley doesn’t even think. He lunges, ignoring Mary’s yell for him to stop and taking the asshole down with one punch. He doesn’t get a second one, security interfering and escorting all three out.

The rest of the Daggers make their way outside, everyone awkwardly huddled together as Mary assures the bouncers that she is safe to leave with Bradley, that he’s her friend who was just protecting her from the other man’s unwanted advances.

She’s mad when she joins them. A quiet anger that's palpable, making them all stay quiet instead of joking around like usual.

“Thanks for planning this, Nat. It was really fun until about five minutes ago. I’ll text you about dinner.” She says to the girls, giving Bob a small smile when he hands over her clutch. “Bradley is going to drive me home, but you guys should keep having fun. Brigham, let me know when you want to leave tomorrow, and I’ll see the rest of you when I get back from Lemoore.”

Her clipped tone and her heels furiously clicking on the sidewalk are the only physical indicators of her anger. The group watches her go, stunned. In the year since they were introduced to Mary, it’s the only time they’ve seen her get close to losing her cool.

They had seen her defend herself against misogynistic pilots, making them feel foolish without even raising her voice. They watched her bite her tongue when admirals talked down to her because of her age, letting Mav or Cyclone handle it. In the past eleven months, they had witnessed her ability to handle difficult situations with poise and grace.

But tonight was too much.

After having to deal with yet another demeaning asshole and Bradley’s rash, unwanted heroics, the rage simmering below the surface of her skin was threatening to finally break through.

Bradley follows at a slower pace, keeping an eye on her but giving her space to breathe. He startles at someone grabbing his shoulder, turning with wide eyes to find Bob with a determined look on his face.

“Take her home and apologize; let her explain before you explain your side, okay?” Bradley nods, giving a small smile to his friend. “It’s all gonna be fine; you are made for each other. You can tell me all about how right I am tomorrow morning.”

He makes his way to the car, unlocking and opening the door for Mary, the tiny bit of hope from Bob’s pep talk disappearing when he realizes that she’s giving him the silent treatment. Climbing into the front seat and ignoring the hand he offers, closing the door herself and choosing to stare out the passenger window when Bradley sides into the Bronco.

The drive to her house is quiet; the only sound is the oldies station Bradley turns on in hopes of getting Mary to talk to him. The closer they get to their destination, the more he goes from sad to annoyed.

I was just trying to help. She doesn’t need to ignore me.

They’re both fuming by the time he pulls into the driveway. She slips out of the car, hoping he’ll just go home, but he’s following behind her to the house. One step over the threshold, and he can’t take it anymore.

“Are you gonna stop ignoring me, or should I just go home?”

He watches her shoulders stiffen and feels his stomach drop her eerily calm expression. “I don’t know. Are you actually going to listen to me? Or are you just going to tell me that we should just forget this happened, too?”

“Don’t put that on all on me! This isn’t all my fault! You ignored me for an entire month!”

“Yes! Yes, I did!” She slams her hand on her kitchen island. “And then, when I tried to explain, you didn’t let me say anything! You just said we should forget everything that happened and move on! So I tried to forget! I tried to respect your wishes! But tonight, all you could do was watch me dance with other men!”

His mouth drops open; he didn’t realize she had noticed.

“Yeah! I noticed - you pilots have all the subtly of an elephant in a firework shop with its tail on fire! It’s one or the other, Bradley! We either forget what happened and we see other people, or we talk about what happened and go from there! There’s no in-between option where you get to be upset whenever I flirt with a man that’s not you! So what’s it gonna be? Are we moving on, or are we having a conversation?”

He can’t get words to come out. He knows what he wants, but he can’t speak.

“Well, Bradley?”

Say something, dumbass! She’s not going to wait forever.

She scoffs, rubbing her hands over her face. “I’m going to shower. If you’re still here when I’m done, we’ll talk. If you’re gone, well, then I have my answer.”

He’s frozen in her dining room, wincing back to reality at her bedroom door slamming shut. His phone is ringing before he realizes what he’s doing.

“Rooster? Everything okay?”

“I think I fucked up.” He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up even further. “We fought, man. She noticed I was watching her tonight and yelled at me for not letting her talk last week.”

“Where are you? I’ll come get you.”

“I’m in her living room.”

“You’re still there? She didn’t kick you out?”

“She said if I’m still here when she’s done showering, we’ll talk about everything.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, Bradley.” Bob’s eye-roll is audible on the other end. “Sit down and wait for her to finish showering so you can talk. If she wanted you to leave, she would have no problem sending you packing.”

“You think?”

“She was two seconds from throwing a wrench at my head last week, and I’m her favorite.”

“Well, I don’t know about favor-”

“I am. Now, sit down, shut up, and wait for her.”

The line clicks, and he decides to listen to the advice, depositing his wallet and keys on her entryway table before sitting on her couch. Sinking into the middle cushion, he thinks about the last time he’d been on this piece of furniture.

“You’re so hard.” He’s not sure why she’s surprised. She has to know she’s had him on the verge of an erection since she opened her door this morning.

“You’ve been pressed against me for two hours in these tiny little shorts with no bra on, and you smell good.” He shrugs, feeling sheepish as he explains what got him going.

“Bradley..” The way she says his name borders on a moan, and he can’t help the noise he makes when she pulls his hair.

If she does that again, I’m going to cum.

He grabs her ass and pulls her as close as he can, brushing his other hand up her thigh and boldly dipping into the leg of her pajama shorts, enjoying the scalloped edge of her panties. Their lips brush, and he’s about to move his hand to the gusset of her underwear - he needs to know how wet she is for him - when they’re interrupted.

Between reliving that moment and crafting his apology, he doesn’t hear the shower turn off or her footsteps coming down the hall, only noticing her when she sits in the chair furthest from him.

“I’m sorry-” They start to apologize at the same time.

“I’d like to go first if you don’t mind?” She requests, taking a deep breath when he nods in agreement. “I want to start by apologizing for the last month. It was wrong of me to kick you out that night and then ignore you for a month, and I wish I hadn’t done it.”

“Why did you?”

“Because I got scared. That night… I never do things like that. I never make the first move or act that bold. So the fact that I just climbed on your lap like that - without thinking about it or second-guessing myself - freaked me out. By the time I got Annie back to sleep, I had completely psyched myself out, and I was convinced you didn’t actually want me.”

“That’s- I- did I give any indication that I didn’t want you?” He sputters the question, unsure how she could think that.

“It’s nothing you did, Bradley. It’s all on me, my insecurities. Men rarely - if ever - have had the same… enthusiasm that you did. You were great; this is a me problem.”

“I don’t understand.” He leans forward, wanting to get closer without crossing the boundary she set with her seat choice. “If everything was so great, what went wrong?”

“I’m fat, Bradley.”

He sits up straight, shocked at her words. What does that have to do with anything?

“I’m sorry, I still don’t get what the problem is.”

“I know you don’t understand what it’s like to be a woman, but please believe me when I tell you it’s hard. People are constantly policing and judging your body. Men will just tell you what they think of your body, what they think is wrong with it - unprovoked. And it’s even worse when you’re fat.” She leans back, hugging a pillow to her chest. “I know you didn’t do any of that. But I’ve been fat since I was a kid, so I’ve heard it all for years. And not just men, but from family too. It’s hard to shake those experiences, to ignore the insecurities and just enjoy the moment.”

They sit in silence for a minute, Mary refusing to make eye contact while Bradley tries to figure out his next move.

“Can I come over there?”

The question surprises her, but she nods. His choice to kneel in front of her is another surprise; he can tell from her eyebrows reaching her hairline.

“I’m gonna take this, okay?” He gently tugs the pillow from her hands, tossing it on the couch so there’s nothing between them. When Bradley sees her shirt, his breath hitches in his throat.

She’s wearing his sweatshirt.

“Sorry,” she says shyly, noticing his stare. “I’ve been wearing it to bed; I promise I’ll wash it.”

And as much as he wants to linger in the revelation that she’s been sleeping in his clothes, he pushes through.

“Mary, I’m going to be very honest with you because I need you to understand how much I wanted you that night. Sitting there with you in my lap? That’s the hardest I’ve ever been; I think about it all the time. How warm and soft you were.” He slips his hands into hers. “And I know what you look like. I like the way you look. I like everything about you. Everything. Even the things you don’t like about yourself. You’re so gorgeous.”

He wipes her cheek, brushing a tear away.

“This past month hasn’t changed how I feel about you. I still want you. I’ve never not wanted you. I’ve had a crush on you since the moment Danielle dragged you through the front door of the Hard Deck.”

“Bradley…”

“Not done, still my turn.” He leans up, getting closer to her to get his point across. “I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to fix this sooner. I was trying to give you the space you wanted, but that was a mistake. After the first week, I should have told you how I was feeling, what I wanted.”

“What do you want now?” Her voice is tiny, and his heart breaks at how uncertain she sounds.

“Still you, honey. I know I said we should forget what happened, but I don’t want to forget. I want to do that again without getting interrupted this time. I want to take you out on a date. I want you. If you’ll have me.”

He watches Mary wrestle with her thoughts, her mouth opening and closing, not sure how to say what she’s thinking. “Just tell me, Mary, whatever it is. I want you to be honest with me.”

“I want that too. I want you. But I’m not sure if I’m ready for it right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“How long have you been flirting with me?” She nudges him back, scooting forward in her chair so her knees brush his chest.

He doesn’t understand the question but answers anyway, wrapping his hands around her legs, stroking his thumbs over her soft skin. “Since that night we met, I didn’t do too good of a job since you spent the evening playing darts with Jake, but that’s how long.”

“That was last January. You’ve been flirting with me for an entire calendar year. And I’m so oblivious that I didn’t even realize you were interested until you were grabbing my ass and moaning against my mouth.” She rubs her face. “So I just need some time to process this because I never thought this - us -could be an option.”

“Okay, how much time are you thinking? How do you want to do this?”

“I don’t know… there’s no free time. I’m gone this week, and next week is program review and prepping you guys for deployment. Then you’re in the middle of the ocean for two months.”

“Doesn’t really leave a lot of time for us, does it?” He jokes, squeezing her calves. “We’ll be back the first week of May. There’ll be a few days of debriefing, but then I’m on leave. Why don’t we grab dinner that Sunday? It can be as friends or as something more, whatever you want - whatever you’re ready for at that point. How does that sound?”

“You’re okay with waiting that long?”

“Mariella, it’s been a year, and nothing has changed since I saw you in that red dress. A few extra weeks where we’re just friends? That’s nothing if it means you’re comfortable.”

“I’m sorry I’m so bad at this.”

“Stop it. This isn’t all on you; I haven’t been the best either.” Bradley’s voice is firm, making sure she’s not placing the entire blame on herself. “We’ll work on it. We’re smart people; we can figure it out.”

“Thank you for being so understanding. I really am sorry about how I acted.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

Feeling lighter than they have in weeks, they look at each other and laugh when Mary yawns, her face scrunching up.

“Okay, honey, I think it’s time to get you to bed.” He stands, pulling her into a hug. “I’ll call you when you’re at Lemoore, okay? We’ll talk about our days, and you can complain about Harvard.”

“Why would I complain about Brigham?” She blinks up at him, her eyebrows creasing after a second. “Wait! Are you saying goodbye? You can’t drive home right now; it’s too late!”

He tries to argue but is cut off by her finger pointing at the clock, the two hands telling him it’s almost three in the morning. “Shit, I didn’t realize it was so late.”

“C’mon.” She pulls on his hand, leading him down the hall.

“What are we doing?”

“Going to bed?” She squeaks when he abruptly stops, tugging her off balance.

“Mary, I’m sleeping on the couch.”

Her face is baffled. “Bradley, you’re too tall; it won’t be comfortable. We can share my bed; we’re adults. We can handle it.”

His heart thumps. He wants nothing more than to crawl into bed with her, but he’s afraid of how his body might react to being next to her all night.

“Mary, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You won’t. I also want you to be comfortable, so if you don’t want to share, I’ll take the couch, and you take my bed.”

“But-”

“This is the whole communication thing we just talked about. Believe me when I say that sharing my king-sized bed with you for one night won’t make me uncomfortable.”

Bradley stares into her eyes, searching for any hint of hesitation. “Okay, lead the way then, Vertucci.”

It’s awkward for a moment in her bedroom, the two of them trying to navigate this new situation together. But after some blushing and a few stuttered words, they figure it out. He’s just finished brushing his teeth when they discover that Bradley’s preferred side of the bed matches hers.

“Two peas in a pod.” He jokes as he starts to climb into bed, heart fluttering at the bashful smile on her face.

“What are you doing?”

He freezes, covers pulled back with his knee raised. “Uhhh… getting into bed?”

“Not like that, you’re not.” His wide eyes must give away his confusion and panic because she continues. “Bradley, you are not climbing into my bed, which has nice fresh sheets, with those clothes you wore to the club. God knows what’s on those chairs we sat on.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“You are wearing underwear, right?” He nods, feeling baffled by how this night has progressed. “Then strip, you’re sleeping in your undies.”

Bradley stands there, looking at her snuggled under her quilt, bathed in the soft light of her nightstand lamp, and still wearing his name on her arm. Based on how serious she looks, he’s pretty sure she’s unaware of how flirty her words sound. If she was any other woman, he would make an effort to flirt back, try his best to be sexy as he undresses. Turn it into a striptease.

But it’s Mary, and they just got back to a good place.

So he undresses how he does when he’s alone. Unbuttoning his black shirt methodically, taking note of how her breath hitches when he pulls the tight material off, but not doing anything about it. If he has any control over their situation, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future to make her lose her breath.

He does allow himself to make eye contact while he undoes his jeans, unable to pass up the chance to watch her watch him. He sees her scan his body, can see the hunger in her eyes, can hear the small gulp when she sees the waistband of his underwear appear. He stays steady, folding the pants and draping them over his shirt before slipping under the covers, keeping a respectful distance between them.

“Gonna turn the light out?”

She blinks at him as she processes the question, her eyes hazy from the late hour, and he thinks about how he would love to have this view every night for the rest of his life. He watches as she rolls over, eyes slipping down to the skin that’s exposed when she leans to turn the lamp off. She ends up closer when she rolls back towards him; he can feel the heat of her body radiating towards him.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Mary’s voice is soft, like being too loud will ruin the small bubble they’ve created for themselves. “Do you like pancakes?”

The question makes him think of his mom, how she used to make pancakes on special occasions and sometimes just because it was Tuesday. He never makes them for himself.

“They’re my favorite. Do you make good pancakes?”

“I make the best pancakes.” He can’t see her face, but he can hear her smile. “Night, Bradley.”

He mummers good night back, enjoying the way the mattress moves as she gets comfortable. The scent of her shampoo drifts over him, resurrecting the question that he’d been asking himself for a month.

“Mary? Can I ask you a question?” His voice is quiet, scared to ruin things but needing to know the answer.

She hums, “What’s up?”

“That night. If we hadn’t gotten interrupted, what do you think would have happened?” It’s quiet. He can hear her hands playing with the edge of the sheet, fingers nervously folding and unfolding the cotton. “I’m sorry, you don’t have-”

“No, it’s okay, Bradley.” A hand brushes his chest, warm fingers ghosting over his skin in search of his hand. She continues once their fingers are intertwined. “If we hadn’t been interrupted, we would have had sex. We would’ve made out for a while, and then I would have ridden you right there on the chaise.”

“Fuck…”

She makes a small noise of agreement. “I don’t know about after, though, if we would have had a better go of things that we have. It might have been worse, I’m not sure.”

“Can’t change the past. I’m just glad we’re fixing things now.”

“Me too.” Mary presses a small kiss to the tip of his fingers, squeezing his hand before rolling over. “Good night, Bradley; sleep well.”

“Night, Mary.”

I think I’m falling in love with you.

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fic tag | credit for dividers here

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

is it normal to feel like you never really need a partner??? like i’ve mostly always felt this way... bar the times when i feel super lonely when someone gets engaged lmao. but other than that, i’ve always felt okay on my own.... but according to society (and also my dad) i have to have a partner to do everything with???? but i just don’t feel that drive to have one???

like i tried last year and got so fucking bored talking to random men and having to filter them out bc it was so much effort??? i just don’t have energy for it.... is this bad or is it okay??? i hate the constant pressure to always have a partner or to be trying to get one by dating which i just cbf to do???? fuck i hate it lmao. leave women be alone and be on their own for their whole lives.

[xtinyaurora]

Oh my gosh thank you for doing my ask. Reading Seonghwaart was soooo satisfying. Can you do y/n doesn't believe that they're sexually attractive, so Ateez proves to them that they are (sexually). Please and thank you 😊 ☺ ❤

Ateez reaction: Their Y/N doesn’t believe that they’re {sexually} attractive

————————————————————————

➼ requested?: yes

➼ genre: smut & fluff

➼ pairing: Ateez x female!reader

➼ Word-count: 2k+

➼ Warnings: nsfw content, strong language, cursing, spanking, mentions of scars & stretch marks, pet names, daddy kink / sie kink, nudes, reader kinda puts themself down, anal sex, chocking, oral sex, breeding kink (?)...

➼ Note: This is not based on their real behavior or meant to represent real life. This is simply a fan fiction and is only for the purposes of fun, it’s a hobby, so read at your own risk!

➼ A/N note: I hope I wrote this the way you wanted... Also, if anyone’s interested in a male version, let me know! All gif credits go to their owners!

————————————————————————

Park Seonghwa

You were standing Infront of the mirror, looking at your naked body, which was still a bit wet from the shower you took a few minutes ago. You were ashamed to say the least. You couldn’t understand what exactly Seonghwa found attractive about your body. You wanted to look good for him but you’re just a flat piece of a human being. As you were starting to build tears in your eyes, your boyfriend walked into your shared bedroom. „What’s wrong, baby?” He knew what was up, it’s not the first time he caught you crying over yourself. You shook your head not wanting to talk about it and grabbing your towel to cover yourself up. Hwa breathed out loudly, shaking his head. He then pulled the towel away, ignoring your protests. „Do you see this?” He grabbed your tits, slowly massaging them. „Do you see how perfect these are, how well they fit into my hands.” Then his head made its way to your right breast. He slowly started licking your nipple, it immediately getting hard. Out of nowhere he slapped your left breast with one of his hands. „You like that?” You silently nodded your head, a scoff left Seonghwas mouth. „Fucking shit you’re so hot. You don’t understand how you make me feel. How those pretty little tits could make me cum just from touching and slapping them like that, fuck.” Seonghwa then roughly threw you on the bed and started to undress himself...

Kim Hongjoong

„Say it, baby, come on.” You tried to get your breathing under control but Hongjoongs speed was too fast, the pleasure too much to take. „I - I, agh!” You couldn’t stop screaming moaning. „I know you can do it, come on.” His hips started to move faster than before, making it harder for you. You were so overwhelmed that tears started to form in your eyes. „I can’t-t.” A hard smack landed on your ass. „Yes you can and now say it!” Yelled your boyfriend from behind. He harshly pulled you up by grabbing your throat, making you face both of you in the mirror. „Tell me beautiful, tell me how breathtaking you look, I know you can do that for me, baby. Show daddy how much of a good girl you are.” You squeezed your eyes together, forcing those words out of your mouth. „I am beautiful.” Hongjoongs grip on your throat got stronger. „Open your eyes, princess.” You did what he said and opened your eyes, almost reaching your high. „J-Joong, I think I-.” „No, the fuck not. You’re not going to cum until you do what I asked you to.” You closed your eyes again, god. Hongjoong movements completely stopped, making you whine out loudly. „Look at yourself.” You pulled your eyebrows up, eyes getting rounder. „Do it!” Damn boy, chill out. As your were looking at yourself, Hongjoong slowly pulled out of you. Another whine left your mouth, not going unnoticed by him. „Look at this pretty pussy, all wet and all mine. Men, am I lucky. Oh and... those beautiful tits, this fucking cute ass, my god I am about to lose my shit. How am I so lucky to have all of this? I love you so fucking much Y/N. Don’t worry though, I will show you how beautiful you are. You wanna these tits to be bigger? Oh, don’t worry, can do that for you. I can’t wait to get you pregnant, you will look so beautiful with a round belly, fuck.”

Jeong Yunho

You two were currently play fighting over some food. Both of you thought it would be a good idea to visit the park and have a picnic today, since it’s finally warm and sunny again. You didn’t notice how far your skirt actually went up, when you jumped on your boyfriend. It wasn’t that short of a skirt, it covered more than 60% of your legs but it was loose, so it was easy to raise up. When Yunho gave you a smack on your ass, you were fast to sit back and pull it down again. Yunho looked at you questioning, you only shaking your head, hiding face. „Was that too much?” You immediately assured him that it wasn’t about that slap on your ass. „Then what’s wrong?” Again, you shook your head. The male then grabbed your face, making you look at him. „Baby, tell me.” You moved his hands from your face, lowering your gaze. „I just don’t feel comfortable with showing myself off, you know, my legs could be seen when I jumped on you.” When you looked back up to see his reaction, a smile was placed on his face. „Honey, you’re beautiful. Those pretty legs would turn on every men, no, even girls. You don’t know how much I wanna grab them and pull you over me, so you can ride my hard ass cock.” Your eyes torn open, a blush creeping on your face. A loud laugh left Yunho’s mouth, him staring to eat again as of nothing happened.

Kang Yeosang

When you read the massage your boyfriend sent you just a few seconds ago, you almost spitted out your drink. Now you had an incoming call... „Uhm, hello?” Silence. Then you heard heavy breathing. „Baby, please. I need you to do that for me, I can’t take it anymore, I need to release.” You didn’t know what to say, only blushing more. „Yeosang, you know how I feel about my body, I can’t jus-“ „Baby, don’t you understand that I need that beautiful hot body to cum? That you turn me on that much, that I only need to see you to cum. Fuck, please princess I need you. Please send me some nudes, it hurts. I promise once I get home, I will reward you, hm? How does that sound?” You nodded your head, even tho you knew he couldn’t see you. „Sounds Good.” A load moan left his mouth. „That’s my good little girl, now make daddy happy and take your close off so he can see those beautiful small tits, yea?” You bit bottom lip. „Yes, sir.”

Choi San

A loud whistle was heard when you walked into the living room. When you looked at the male, he bit his lip. „Damn, baby, look at those curves. Shit, come here, I wanna smack that ass.” You only stood there, shocked. San then raised one of his eyebrows. „What? Can’t I touch my girlfriend now?” You shook your head. San looked as if he got offended by that. „Oh? Why is that?” You now shrugged with your shoulders. „Don’t you want to use that pretty mouth of yours, baby? Talk to me.” He now stood up and made his way to you. When he reached you, he slung his arms around you waist, face just a few inches away from yours. „Not listening to me? I guess you wanna use that beautiful mouth of yours for something else’s then, huh?” Now you started smirking, kinda enjoyed where’s this is going. This was way better then going out for a fancy dinner with the boys. Don’t get me wrong, you loved the boys, but you didn’t feel comfortable and confident enough to go out with that dress, San bought you for this dinner. „Look at you, so beautiful. Even my friends want to have you and fuck your pretty pussy. They wanna grab this fat ass and smack it, want to cum on your pretty body. Oh how bad for them that they could never have you, you’re all mine, this pretty body is all mine.”

Song Mingi

„Mingi! You can’t just walk in like that.” His eyes went big. „Why not, I am your boyfriend?” His innocent voice made you melt, he’s so cute. You turned around, hiding your body from him. „I know that, but you know how I feel about myself. I am ashamed.” His eyes got even rounder. „Even if it’s me? I thought you feel comfortable with me. Did I do something wrong? Oh my god I make you uncomfortable. What do I do?! I shoul-„ „No Mingi. It’s not that... it’s just... never mind.” You kept on cleaning yourself, trying to ignore him. You heard the sound of a belt and clothes moving. When you turned to look what he was up to, you directly looked into your boyfriends eyes. He smiled at your surprised expression and leaned further into you. „Mingi, I-“ You got interrupted by a kiss. Soon, the kiss got more intense, both of you starting to touch each other’s body’s. Mingi broke the kiss, giving you time to breath. „You know Y/N, I know it might take some time until you understand that but you’re the most stunning human I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And you know those scars and marks on your body? They are just as beautiful. They make you unique, it’s just like art. I love you, you and every tiny bit of your beautiful 'flaws'. Please never forget that baby.“ You were on the verse of tears, like damn, you love that boy so much. A smile was sitting on both of your faces, you leaning back in to continue your make out session.

Jung Wooyoung

He slowly placed soft his kisses down your tummy. When he bit into one of your belly roles (is that even the correct word? lol), you immediately scolded him for that. „But it’s cute.” You rolled your eyes. „No, Woo, it’s not cute. Please stop.” He chuckled at your reaction, still thinking it’s cute. „Okay, cry baby.“ He then kept on kissing your tummy, started to go further down towards your core. „Woo...” You couldn’t really make out if you were warning him or were asking for more, either way, he kept going and pulled your PJ pants & panties down. Now, he had a perfect look of your stretch marks. You tried to hide them by placing your hands on top of them but Wooyoung slapped them away. „Ouch!” He didn’t gave a fuck, honestly. „Move, I wanna look at those sexy stretch marks. Damn, this is all mine.” You got a hard slap on your left thigh, letting out a moan, your boyfriend only smirking a smirk by that. „Like that, huh? Lemme eat you out then.” He gave you another slap, this time on your clit. I guess, what he wants, he gets?

Choi Jongho

„Jongho, no.” He kept pulling you on himself. „Hey, don’t worry, baby. Did you already forget how strong I am?” He let out a cute chuckle, making you smile but it soon vanished out of your face again. Jongho wanted you to ride his face but you felt uncomfortable with that idea. Your were too heavy, at least in your own opinion. Jongho always told you that you’re beautiful the way you are and that he loved you no matter what. He also always assured you that you aren’t heavy and even if, he could handle it, since he was a strong guy. Still, you were too scared of hurting him. Jongho assured you that he would be fine and would stop if you don’t like it, so you made your way above his face, slowly sinking down. You immediately let out a soft moan when his tongue met your cunt. After some time he told you to move, your fear of hurting him rising again. „Princess, don’t worry. You did so good till now, I know you can do even better. Come on, ride my face, cupcake.” You closed your eyes and started to move slowly. While so, Jongho kept on praising you from time to time, you growing more confided by that. You soon reached your high, making a mess all over your boyfriends face. Jongho licked you clean until every drop was gone. You then stood up and checked on him, he giving you a proud smile. „I knew you could do it, I am so proud of you! We need do this more often tho, that was freaking hot.”

[angy-mouse]

hello friend! hope u r well :)

I didn't see anything that implied that requests were closed but if they are feel free to ignore this

could you do some soft smut w punz? maybe virgin or inexperienced afab reader with he/they pronouns but like,,, no focus on tiddies? basically trans male reader who got top surgery. if ur comfy w that at least. sorry for the details lol

Honestly, the details on this are perfect <3 I mean this talking to you and as a psa for others: details are amazing. Tell me if there's body parts you don't want mentioned, tell me what kind of sex you want, tell me if there's certain words you don't like seeing (ex: you hate cock and think dick is the only proper word to use). Most people don't even specify pronouns or sex and and I'm like welp, hope you like afab she/her bc thats my default.

Especially for an ask like this, where I have no experience with being non-cisgender so I'm not 100% on what would be uncomfortable to read and what gives that good gender brain tickle.

PS slight daddy kink at the end but I'm guessing since you asked for Punz you're fine with that ;P

“So good for me, baby,” Punz growled, rewarding you with a third finger stretching you out. One hand in your hair guiding your head on his cock and the other knuckle deep inside of you, you were sure this was heaven.

You could still hear him whispering in your ear, “Don’t worry, bunny, I’m gonna take care of you,” as he laid you down on the bed. You insisted you wanted to make him feel good, too, and he cooed over you, telling you what a sweet little boy you were for him. “Alright, bunny, you can get me ready while I stretch you enough to take my fat cock, how’s that sound?” You whimpered at his crass words and he grinned down at you. “So cute,” he cooed, guiding you onto your side at the edge of the bed. Even if you didn’t have any experience, you’d seen and heard enough to feel like this wasn’t a typical position.

“Don’t people usually… uh, ‘69’ for this?”

You felt embarrassed as he chuckled. “Oh, no, baby,” he chided, slipping a finger into your wet walls. “If I had my mouth on you, you wouldn’t have enough sense in your brain to suck me off.” You whimpered as his thick finger explored inside of you, rubbing every sensitive spot like he knew your body better than you did. You pulled his boxers down and gasped at the size of him. You knew men were usually more bark than bite when it came to things like this, but Punz wasn’t being cocky when he said he had a fat cock. It hung between his legs at half-mast, looking like one of those 20 oz cans of redbull that littered his desk.

You gently wrapped your hand around it, listening to his sigh of pleasure as you gave him an experimental pump. His tip was blushing a pretty red with a drop of precum that you timidly licked away, earning a soft moan. “Do you want me to teach you how to suck dick, bunny?” You squeaked in embarrassment, trying to squeeze your thighs together around his hand as he found a spot that sent stars dancing across your vision. “None of that,” he chided, pulling your legs apart easily. “Come on, use your words like a good boy.”

You whimpered, hips bucking against his hand. “P-Please… show me. I wanna make you feel good.”

“Such a sweet little bunny,” he cooed, letting go of your leg to thread his fingers through your hair. “Come here, bunny, I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

You were brought out of your thoughts as Punz took his fingers away from you, slurping your slick off of them with a satisfied hum before pulling you off his cock. “Come here, baby, I don’t wanna come down your throat, I wanna fill you up,” he growled, pulling you up to his lips and licking his way into your mouth. He climbed on top of you as you kissed, settling you into missionary position- he could fuck you hard and test your flexibility another time, he reasoned. For your first he’d treat you like the cute prince you were. “Are you ready, bun?” You eagerly nodded against his lips, whimpering as he traced your folds with the head of his cock. “I’m not hearing a yes,” he sang.

“Yes, please, Punz! Please, you promised to make me feel good!”

“Oh, I will make you feel good, bunny,” he purred, slowly sinking his cock into you and watching you squirm and moan from the stretch. “Don’t you worry about that. I keep my promises, baby. Now,” he grinned just a bit meanly as he bottomed out and held there, refusing to move. “Tell me who your daddy is.”

[raspberryply]

The simplest I can think of is:

Top: blouse, turtleneck, or button-up shirt

Bottoms: decent pants or skirt

Shoes: full-coverage, preferably nicer shoes. Flats and boots are okay. Also, clean monochrome tennis shoes[sneakers-ish] (the kind worn in some ted talks) are becoming more acceptable as business casual

More masc: button-up shirt, pants, and general mens shoes. Not skintight, for masc err on the almost too-loose side. I usually skip a tie and wear a loose blazer if I’m worried about looking too casual, or if it’ll be chilly. Lol yeah ‘distant father-core’ uh would work.

More Detailed: a loose cardigan or jumper can be added on top of the blouse or shirt. I prefer plain button-ups if I’m going to button them, but I like patterned button-ups if I’m going to wear them over another (plain, not button-up) shirt. To avoid looking like a girl boss, skip the blazer and wear something else, like a cableknit jumper. To avoid looking like a little church boy, look up their haircuts or avoid flattening your hair too much (and look up young sheldon images and avoid all of that). A tiny ear stud is okay depending on the audience. If you’re unsure, skip jewellery. Plain belts are alright. Maybe also look up ‘business casual’ or ‘fat business casual’ and click ‘male.’ ‘Male business casual’ also has a few results. Tbh I usually throw on my black stretchy pseudo-blazer with a diagonal zip and call it a day, but occasionally I have people I actually kinda need to dress better for, like wearing clothing without wrinkles and stuff.

My main problem is my chest messing with all my shirts, and my hips messing with clean pant lines, but I don’t have any tips because I haven’t figured out how to consistently deal with that (except for just wearing looser professional clothing) . I just ignore/deal with it for a day and then forget. Sorry. Oh! The thrift stores near me have some decent clothes for fatter people, but the nicest stuff was passed directly from my sibling’s friend’s family to us. The friend’s parents had some nice clothes tailored for short fat builds, and it looks way better than like a kohl’s shirt. So maybe borrow someone’s clothing? A bunch of the stuff I wear is stuff I didn’t buy. Sorry these are probably bad tips but it’s what I do. As long as you look like you’ve tried you’re prob all good tho

Question for anyone who is at least some degree of butch, transmasc, genderqueer, or otherwise has some sort of gender fuckery. How do I find something business casual that doesn't make me look like a girlboss or like a 12 year old boy going to Easter service? Do I have to look like a distant father? I really don't want to look like a distant father but it's better than nothing. Any extra insight for plus size clothing would also be appreciated.

[adonis-koo]

Hi. This is regarding the potential love interest you have been writing about. If my unsolicited advice annoys you please ignore this ask and accept my apology in advance. I just wanted to chip in and say...he clearly doesn't have noble intentions. Alternating between attention and ignorance is a classic tactic used by all toxic people to get you into an attachment bond. Genuine bonds happen through consistency. And no man in the history of mankind ever called a woman they were trying to ask out "friend material" ever!!! not even when they were unsure or self conscious... definitely not jokingly...like ever...

Please I’ve been looking for a reason to crack this can of worms open no apologies needed babe 😭 you are 100% correct!! I feel like this guy either wanting attention or just doesn’t know what he wants in general and I have ZERO interest fucking around and finding out what’s up.

My skin is clear, my bank account is growing and my ass is getting fat, I don’t need ANYONE messing that up for me right now. The problem is that he can’t just let it go? Like I’m totally fine working together and just be acquaintances, like the message was loud and clear when I was called friend material 🥲 but he keeps going out of his way to make sure I know he’s “off the market” babe even if you were you’d be on the reduced price shelf.

Truth be told I wasn’t really that attracted to him in the beginning but I was curious because he made it very obvious he wanted to take me on a date, and…nothing, no chemistry what so ever and even then he told me some stuff that was…very red flag-ish. All in all I am NOT about to go chasing after someone lol which is what I feel like he’s wanting.

UGH men are so stupid!!!

[joshslater]

Twitching

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

To my surprise people keep joining the stream. Usually it was only my friends and occasionally someone random that watched me play. Space strategy games are not the most audience-friendly. They require you to know a lot about the game mechanics, and they take a long while to play through a full campaign. But all my mates know the game, and are just here to socialize and sometimes provide a tip.

This evening is different though. It had started with some "Lucy333" joining what must have been almost an hour ago. More than 30 minutes for sure. But over the past 10 minutes I've gotten 12 more viewers I think. Suddenly there is a coin sound effect and the chat stream lights up with a donation. $2 from Lucy333 and the text "Hey, spaceboy! Take your shirt off!"

I can instantly feel myself blushing. I'm flattered for a few milliseconds. I'm aware of the streams with girls showing lots of skin to get donations. I've never watched any of them. I'm not even aware of any with boys in them, but I know they exist. "Thanks for the donation, Lucy. This isn't that kind of stream though, clearly." I'm just playing for my mates when we don't feel like meeting up or doing something else. And I know I'm not a looker, though not shockingly ugly like Pete. Honestly, if there wasn't a pandemic going on we would probably do exactly the same thing anyway, playing space strategy and talk Marvel.

There is a flurry of responses from the newcomers in the chat. "Do it! Do it!" says one Donnatrix. "It could be that kind of stream," says fluffy2000. Soon my mates start cheering on as well. It basically turns into a dare. I'm not proud of my body, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It just is. Fuck it. I don't know what I'm going to be teased for more, if I take my shirt off, or if I don't. I reckon if I do what they ask for they have less ground to stand on. I set the game speed to low, say "Ok then", take off my headset, and pull off my T-shirt.

I'm met with a torrent of cheers in the chat. "Now it is that kind of stream," says fluffy. Donnatrix drops $5 and the comment "YAAAASSS". It feels weird. I can't decide if this is a group of sorority girls that randomly and sarcastically sexualize nerds, or if they are genuinely supportive.

"Thank y'all. Now back to trade route 14 to Zephyr-C". My emissary mission hasn't moved far at this speed. I'm about to increase the in-game speed when I get another $2 donation from Lucy. "Spaceboy, keep the game in slow mode and jump over to Heavenly Bodies."

I have no idea what she is talking about, if she even is a she. Her message is instantly met with a wave of support from the other newcomers. At this game speed it would take hours before I need to take any action, and I'm already up a Whopper meal without having done anything, so I reckon I can play whatever they want me to play for a while. Who knew I was that easily bought? "I don't know what that is," I say into my headset.

A few seconds later Lucy sends me a private message with a TinyURL. "This better not mess with my game rig. If it's porn I'll switch back to the game." I say. "It could be that kind of stream too." fluffy offers in the chat. "He could use some porn tbh" my friend Mike responds. I click the link.

The browser loads something that looks like a web game. It's a character creation screen with a faceless, very neutral model on the screen. Looks like those posable figures you use when learning to draw. There are no controls, except a set of buttons that offers you to upload settings, import from Facebook, and similar. I click the Facebook one, click a few approvals, and a progress bar that only lasts a few seconds appears. When it is gone there is a 3D model of me on the screen. "Wow! This looks just like me." Whatever AI they have combing through my online photos managed to get almost everything right. I'm wearing some sort of speedos, but I don't own any, so that part was a miss, but the model looks spot on. "Whatever else they have in the game, I don't think they are going to top this."

A long list of sliders and customizations appear on the screen. It looks like an incredibly detailed character creation screen. I try moving the height controller and is met with a message box saying I'm out of credits, and that I need $10,000 to change my height to whatever I moved it to. Clearly not real money. "I can't change anything". Lucy responded I need to share it. I exit fullscreen on the game and move the browser over to my other screen so everyone on the stream can see. "No, you need to click the share button in the UI and post the link in the chat", Donnatrix writes.

A big gift-wrapped box appears in the corner of the game window. I click it and it presents the text "Hair color and style" with bold letters and below that a text message from Lucy "I think this will be cute on you." I click accept and the 3D model is updated with new hair. It's dark blonde or whatever the oxymoronic name is for it, instead of my usual rat brown hair. It's short on the sides and on top is a big swooping quiff. It looks utterly silly. "Thanks, nice one," I tell the stream. I see a lot of cheers coming in the chat, but I'm a bit perplexed about the "OMYFUCKING GDO!" from Mike. It's just silly hair.

Immediately a new gift box appears on the screen, and soon after a (2) is added on top of it, possibly indicating two gifts waiting. I find it a little bit cute that these girls are essentially playing with paper dolls, but digitally and modeled after someone real. I open the next gift, "Facial Features" from Julia_Awesome. I click accept again, and the doll on the screen is updated. Weirdly it felt like a flash of heat hit me, like those flame effects on concerts. The doll still looks like me, but pretty fictionalized. The face is much sharper, not just less fat, but probably also some bone structure changes as well. It's equally interesting and disheartening, like one of those really good mobile phone filter apps that makes you into a photo model. Makes you understand how unobtainable the Men's Health cover look really is. "Thank you, Julia, but I'm not sure about this look."

I'm ignoring the chat, though I see it is going bananas. I'll have to read that later when the stream is over. I open the next box. Another two has already arrived. This gift is from Donnatrix and is "Core Body", whatever that means. It feels like a gut punch. Perhaps not that, because it doesn't hurt, but it knocks the air out of me. Almost made me fall out of the chair. I'm confused about what is actually happening though because things don't make sense. My body looks deformed. It takes a moment before my brain stops associating what I see with HR Geiger's nightmarish paintings and start to understand what I really see. My body is suddenly a lot leaner and a hell of a lot more stacked than before. Proper abs muscles like a pan of Hawaii rolls.

I look up at the main screen for the first time in what feels like an eternity. The model on the screen looks ripped as well. How stupid can one person be? I turn to the side monitor and look at the window from the webcam. It's me, all new muscles, strong jaw, and a silly quiff on top.

"Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! This is insane! This isn't possible."

"lol, of course not" I see moving by in the chat. I go back to the program. Four more gifts waiting. I look at the model on the screen. I look at the webcam view. "Arms" says the next gift with the text "Promise to flex for me." Well, fuck Zephyr-C and trade route 14.